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kfedup · 2 years ago

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It’s Sunday, yea?

1. Busy day yesterday with an early drive northwest to my friend’s father’s funeral, where the priest called him by another man’s name for most of the service. The plodding pace of sit, stand, kneel of the Catholic service sent me reeling back to my childhood. I remember being grateful when my family changed from a Roman Catholic Church to the one on campus that was less formal and I also remember how even there I rejected much of what I heard. I sat and stood there yesterday (I did not kneel) feeling like an alien interloper but grateful to be able to support my friends. I was one of 3 people wearing a mask and I sat in the back row by the open door. Lort the coughing coming from the full church was unholy. Fingers crossed the mask did the job.

2. Nothing prepares you for middle age and the precipice you teeter on trying not to slide into oblivion.

3. Visited with a good friend and her new mate last night for a few hours. So good to connect and remind each other of how far we have come since we first met 12 years ago. Her bf is a painter and gave me some pointers for how to approach my first acrylic self portrait. I’m excited to try.

4. I slept in and am on the couch in the quiet listening to the light rain and sipping my coffee. Read a chapter of the book Wintering by Katherine May and felt the urge to do a post. Will return to the book for a little longer after this while the house is still quiet.

5. There’s a chicken carcass in the instant pot becoming stock for something tonight. Perhaps the ginger chicken noodle soup I’ve been fantasizing about. Or perhaps a spicy white chili.

6. I need to do a few hours of work today and also grocery shop and do some basement clean out so I can move all the boxes of books out of the back of my car. Yeah, I know… they’ve been there for weeks. I’m struggling with getting certain kinds of things done around here.

7. I am ready for this year to be the year that I get to enjoy my own sexuality. It’s been six years since I have felt connected to that part of myself in a meaningful and fulfilling way. And that six years ago was only partially so… truly it’s been nine years since I felt truly turned on and tuned in for an extended period of time. Since I’ve looked in the mirror and seen my sensual self reflected there without having to talk myself into seeing her there.

8. Hey, a bonus… truth be told, I’m afraid that might not exist in me anymore. I’m aware that the fear is attached to the yoke of alcohol around my neck. But I remind myself that what I experienced all those years ago happened sober. Was the only time I’ve felt so richly in the deep water flow of my own being while connecting with another person in my entire life and I did not imbibe of anything but that energy. It’s just that the years that followed involved so much rye whiskey haze and these last two years sober the few times I tried to date… well… not great, Bob.

9. The extra bonus is that I’ve become quite satisfied with my life alone and am noodling around ideas for the next few years that might include solo travel and working truly remote for periods of time. Get to know some other places. Meet some new people. It will be good for me to crack open the habitual.

10. Hey, there’s more! I rebooted therapy last week after a four-year hiatus with a new practitioner. She’s much younger than me, which didn’t come across in her profile and my initial reaction when I met her was hesitation. She asked excellent questions and her areas of expertise include women in transition phases and addiction. I’ll give it a chance and am encouraging myself to remain open to different perspectives.

These are my more than seven Sunday thoughts. I hope your day is restful or productive or both if that’s what you need.

#rules are for suckers #raining all day #changing to snow tonight #what a weird winter

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steveseddie · 2 months ago

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don’t wait for the sky to clear

steddie | rating: t | wc: 1,7k | cw: none | tags: steve has a crush, eddie has no impulse control, flirting, pet names

for @steddie-spooktober day one, prompt “rain”

read here on ao3

Steve almost doesn’t hear the knock on the door— barely audible over the heavy rain that’s been falling over Hawkins for most of the evening.

Then he almost ignores it, ready to wave it off as the wind making some tree branches knock against the side of the house, mostly because he’s convinced no one would be stupid enough to set foot outside in this downpour.

But then he hears it again. Louder, more insistent, definitely not a branch knocking against the house.

Frowning, Steve turns off the TV, cutting off the commentators narrating the basketball game that has kept him mildly entertained since the rain started. As he pads over to the door, his eyes dart towards the nail bat resting against the wall and he wonders if he should reach for it, if it’s possible that what’s waiting on the other side of the door is actually monster, flushed out by the rain like sewer rats during a flood.

Steve shakes his head. “Chill out, Harrington,” he mutters to himself, “Monsters don’t knock.”

And so Steve swings the door open and is immediately hit by the sharp biting cold— and the sight of a soaked Eddie Munson, shivering on his porch.

“Eddie?” Steve asks, voice laced with shock.

Eddie shoves his hands into the pockets of his jacket. “There you are! Thought you were gonna leave me out here to drown.”

Steve hangs a hand from his neck. “Sorry, I didn’t actually expect anyone to be out here.”

“Well—” Eddie holds his hands out in a ta-da gesture, “—Surprise!”

“I am surprised. What the hell are you doing out here in this storm, man? You’re drenched! Did you fucking bike here or something?”

“Nope, I drove, of course,” Eddie explains, waving a hand at the van parked in Steve’s driveway. “But I spent the last twenty minutes pacing in the rain so there’s that.”

Steve sputters. “Why?”

“It helps clear my head,” Eddie says with a shrug, like that makes perfect sense. It doesn’t.

“And you decided to do it in front of my house because—” Steve trails off, hoping Eddie will elaborate.

“Convenience,” Eddie says, which doesn’t actually explain anything. Then he bites his lip nervously. “You see, Stevie, I have something to tell you.”

Steve tears his eyes away from Eddie’s pink lips, narrowing them at him. “And you couldn’t, I don’t know, call me?”

Eddie shakes his head, sending droplets of water flying, hitting Steve’s face. “It’s not something I wanted to say over the phone,” he admits, scruffing his feet against the floor, deliberately not meeting Steve's gaze.

Steve’s eyes dart to the bat again. He tenses up, fear bubbling up inside him. “Oh shit, are you seeing things? Is it Vecna again? Fuck, it’s only been a few months, it was supposed to be fucking over. Christ, do we need to call a code red? Do we—”

“Steve, hey, breathe,” Eddie cuts in, stepping into the house, trailing water all over Steve’s entryway, the wind swinging the door shut behind him. He grabs Steve’s shoulders, digging his thumbs into his collarbones to get his attention. “It’s not Vecna, it’s not the Upside Down, everything’s fine. Stevie, look at me.”

Steve does, hazy eyes taking a moment to focus on Eddie— his limp soaked hair, his drenched clothes, his nose and cheeks both red from the cold.

“You look like a wet rat,” Steve says, swallowing a few times to get rid of the lump that lodged itself in his throat as he spiraled.

Eddie huffs out a snort. “I know,” he says, his nose scrunching up in a way that makes Steve want to kiss it. “Not a particularly attractive look, which isn’t ideal considering what I’m here to do.”

Steve disagrees, he finds Eddie plenty attractive like this, but he lets the comment slide to ask, “And what’s that?”

Eddie bites his lip. “Please don’t freak out on me again.”

“I thought you said it wasn’t the Upside Down—” Steve says, raising his eyebrow.

“It’s not, it’s— fuck, it’s nothing. I’m just being dramatic. You’re a good guy, you’re not gonna freak out even if you don’t—” He trails off, gesturing vaguely.

“Even if I don’t what?”

Eddie lets out a puff of air. “Even if you don’t like me back,” he says and Steve’s heart stutters in his chest. “‘Cause what I came here to do— the reason why I was pacing in the rain, probably catching pneumonia or something— was to ask you out. On a date. With me.”

Steve’s stomach flip flops. Out of the corner of his eyes, he sees lightning flash in the distance. “Right now?” He asks, glancing at the window as thunder follows, the rain refusing to let up even for a minute. “Because I’d love to, Eds, but I really don’t want to go out in a storm—”

Eddie makes a pained expression. “No, sweetheart, not right— Wait.” He blinks as Steve’s words register. “‘You'd love to’?” He asks, his voice an octave higher.

Steve nods, a smile tugging at his lips.

“Holy shit,” Eddie mutters. His hands, which up to this point were still on Steve’s shoulders, fall to his sides as he stands there, mouth agape and eyes wide.

“What? You thought I’d say no?” Steve asks, tilting his head. “That I’d freak out?”

Eddie shrugs. "I just thought that if you liked me too, you would’ve asked me out already!”

“I thought about it,” he says, eliciting a squeal from Eddie. “But Eds, I’ve only ever been in one relationship and I fucked it up. I didn’t want to do the same with you.”

“Oh,” Eddie says softly, lips pursing as he thinks over something. “Well, I’ve never been in a relationship so technically I haven’t fucked up any so maybe our odds will balance each other out, y’know?”

That doesn’t sound right to Steve, but Eddie is grinning at him and he just asked him out on a date, and Steve can’t bring himself to care about anything else.

“Okay,” he agrees, unable to stop himself from grinning too. “Then yeah, I’d love to go on a date with you, Eddie.”

Flustered but obviously pleased, Eddie plays with his hair, water dripping from the wet curls.

“Can I ask you something too?”

“You just did,” Eddie says with a smirk. When Steve half-heartedly rolls his eyes, he adds, “But yeah, I’ll allow it.”

“What made you do this right now in the middle of a storm?” He asks, an amused tilt to his voice.

“Well, I was talking to our favorite redhead on the phone, just shooting the shit, y’know? So after like, the third time I said, um, that I missed you, she told me I was pathetic and that I should drive over here and ask you out already so—” Eddie shrugs, “—I did. I don’t think she expected me to just hang up on her and take off in the middle of the storm, and honestly neither did I, not until I was doing it.”

Steve shakes his head with a laugh. “You’re ridiculous,” he says, “but hey, I was missing you too, y’know.”

“Yeah?” Eddie asks, giddy and disbelieving at the same time.

“Of course, Eds.”

Eddie giggles, high-pitched and cute. “Well, hopefully you won’t miss me too much now.” He glances at the window, lips pursed. “Since I should probably head back.”

Steve’s eyebrows knit in a frown. “No way, you’re not going out in this rain again,” he says, “you can stay here and I’ll let you borrow something to wear.”

“Okay, okay,” Eddie says, yielding all too easily.

Steve smirks triumphantly. “Good, now let’s get you out of those clothes.”

Eddie lets out a squeak, clutching his chest. “Harrington! At least buy me dinner first!”

“Hey, you asked me out, so you are buying me dinner,” Steve says, wagging his finger in Eddie’s face, who pretends to try to bite it off. “Right now I’m just making sure you don’t get hypothermia.”

“How chivalrous of you, sweetheart,” Eddie says, eyelashes fluttering, a pretty pink blush covering his cheeks.

Steve hates to leave the sight of a flustered Eddie, but since he arrived his shivering has gotten worse and Steve is worried he’s actually going to catch something.

“Wait here,” he says, heading upstairs to his room. There, he grabs some old sweatpants, a cozy green sweater he’d love to see Eddie in and a pair of fuzzy socks Robin got him for his birthday last year. Fighting a blush, he also grabs some boxers. Finally, he stops by the bathroom to grab a towel so Eddie can dry his hair.

He goes back downstairs where he follows the water path and finds Eddie, not in the entryway but in the living room, going through the Harringtons’ VHS collection.

“My, my, my, Stevie! What’s this?” He asks when he sees Steve, holding up a tape to him with a playful smirk.

Steve recognizes it as one of the Star Wars movies— not the one he likes, with the teddies.

“Oh, that’s Henderson’s,” Steve says, dumping the clothes on the couch and joining Eddie. “He must’ve left it here.”

“‘Left it here’, uh huh,” Eddie says, doing air quotes with his fingers. “Just admit you like it. That you’re a nerd!”

Steve smirks. “No, but I like you, nerd,” he says, cupping Eddie’s cheeks with his hands and tilting his head forward so he can press a kiss to Eddie’s forehead.

When he pulls back, Eddie is staring at him with wide eyes, his face bright red.

“Cute,” Steve says, out loud this time, which only makes Eddie blush even harder.

“Jesus H. Christ, if hypothermia doesn’t kill me, sweetheart,” Eddie says with a shaky laugh, tugging some hair in front of his face, “you might.”

“If you die before you can take me on a date,” Steve says, hands on his hips, “I will.”

Eddie sniggers. “Not even death could keep me from taking you out, Stevie! I would crawl out of hell just to have dinner with you! I would brave one thousand storms!”

Steve laughs, interrupting Eddie’s dramatics and steering him towards the downstairs bathroom, picking up the clothes on the way. “Okay, you weirdo, come on.”

Eddie doesn’t put up any more resistance and finally changes into Steve’s clothes. Afterwards, they watch the movie that Henderson may or may not have left behind and they cuddle— to warm Eddie up, of course.

They both agree it doesn’t count as their first date, but when the rain finally stops and Eddie leaves, he still kisses Steve goodnight.

#steddie #steddie fic #steddiespooktober #i wasn't planning on writing this but it's been raining all day and it felt like a sign #stranger things #stranger things fic #steve harrington #eddie munson #monse writes

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