#what a fucking day T^T
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#what a fucking day T^T#first i had a really frustrating argument with my sister#then some random man on the street harassed called me names and threatened me - wrongly accusing me of not picking up my dog's poop#because she peed near a several days old decomposed tiny little poop and he thought she'd pooped and that was hers#and i was so aggravated already from the argument with my sister that i was just shouting back at him#and not impressed at all by his threats and aggressive posturing#i was ready to fucking fight T^T#but also my dog stayed calm so i assumed it was just empty threats#(either that or she thought i could handle him alone in a fight T^T)#so anyway he left#i was shaking for hours after the adrenaline wore off ...#can i just fucking live?? in peace??#personal
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y'all ever think abt how it was julie having the affair and it is even said multiple times that she was the one who left him, yet wilson was still the one who left their home and moved in with house. like. he couldn't bear to stay in their home alone. he immediately ran to house and stayed on his couch for weeks. suffered through his pranks and his laziness and his manipulation. telling him he wants him gone while sabotaging his attempts to leave. and he only left once he got a girlfriend again.
#chyanne speaks#house md#hilson#hate crimes md#gregory house#james wilson#i think his inability to be alone is such an interesting quality of his that isnt touched on enough#like yes we all haha at his long string of unsuccessful relationships but we dont talk abt it all stemming from his inability to be alone#his first wife leaves him and then he remarried quickly#he cheats on the second wife and remarries quickly#the third wife cheats on him and leaves him and he immediately moves in with house#and then starts dating a patient and immediately moves in with her#but!!! then he moves into the hotel and is alone for like almost a year! and honestly he NEEDED IT#bc GROWTH happened in that year and he meets someone who doesn't fit his M.O. who breaks away from the mold#although he does immediately move in with her too but still. amber was different. she was the step in the right direction#and then she dies.#and then wilson throws himself into the left field. everything needs to change. he's spent so long fearing being alone.#so he tries to leave so he is completely and totally alone without house to fall back on#but house needs him. he needs him too much. they need each other too much.#and he falls back to house again. and he's content that way. he's always the most content when he's with house. always feels the least alone#and then sam comes back into his life and ruins e v e r y t h i n g#he falls right back onto those old patterns. kicks house out and moves her in. and then what happens??? of course??? she leaves him. again.#and then he's alone again and it hurts. he gets a cat that we only hear about twice and then never gets brought up again#but wilson has his kitty. he has house. he's not alone. he can be content.#and then house fucks everything up. he goes to prison. wilson is alone again.#im honestly SHOCKED that wilson didnt remarry in that year they were apart but he was rly trying to change!#he was working on himself and trying to make changed he thought would be good for him#and then house comes back. and house won't LET wilson be alone. he wont leave him alone.#and it's exactly what wilson has been yearning for since the day he drove that car into cuddys house#and in the end. as long as he had house that was all that mattered. as long as he had house he wasn't alone.
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#ok but consider this#Arthur says fuck so often that no one really panics#but when he utters ooopsie daises by some chance#everyone loses their shit cause something really bad is gonna come up in t minus 30 seconds and no one can prevent it#same with eames#the day he says fuck is the day dreamshare community learns what a real rock bottom looks like#my sons#my unpredictable criminal sons#my unpredictable criminal sons who love each other so much#dreamhusbands#arthur x eames#inception
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Let Jews Define Jewish Terms 2kAlwaysWhyIsThisADebate
#when it comes to literally any other group of people everyone says 'only they can define themselves and their words!'#'they know better than any of us could' etc#but LIKE ALWAYS the second it's jewish or in any way related to israel suddenly EVERYONE is an expert /except/ jewish people#white person in the u.s thinks they know what zionism is better than the people who literally#live in the country in question. better than the people who come from the country in question#are you for fucking real#fucking s t o p#this has BEEN ridiculous and it just keeps getting more ridiculous somehow. your antisemitism is front and center. clear as day.#and you look awful in this light#maison speaks
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ill probably delete this in a minute but ive just been fuckin boggled by what ive seen across tumblr in the last few days in particular. its why i havent really been around. like holy fucking shit, its really like some of yall just dont want a chunk of the trans community to exist. like some of yall are thisclose to saying it verbatum. way too many already have. 'shut up sit down be quiet and smile for us' type shit, gee where have i heard that before. oh yeah my entire life cause i was forcefully gendered as someones daughter. shock horror i know. you might be surprised to remember and/or learn that very few trans folks know theyre trans before we're 5, or even 10, and that that gendered experience stays with all of us in both/either small or large ways. either bc we literally dont have a solid identity yet (bc we're very small children), dont have the words, we're repressing it out of fear from how others will treat us, we're actually enjoying or enjoyed being another gender in our childhood, or we just genuinely didnt fuckin know until shit lined up later in life. weird isnt it that transmascs dont pop out as 6'1 brick shithouse cis men when we're born so yall know for certain that we're confused lost girls/women oops i mean big dangerous scary men. its almost like we're transgender too. none of yall actually know what intersectionality is or means
#my t#transandrophobia#yeah ill tag it why tf not#i just dont understand why transmasculinity is scrutinized and dissected like this within the trans community#when its just not the case for other gendered trans folks amongst themselves more often than not these days#which is a good thing! a really really good thing! but why are we scapegoating transmascs#''we need more weird trans people!!'' yall cant even handle like. a pre-everything trans guy coming out for the first time#yall cant handle a pre-everything tguy wearing a tshirt without tearing him to shreds & calling him shit like afag/theyfab & ukelele boy#im tired of my identity being treated as a debate. i had enough of that in highschool as#very literally. **the only trans kid in my grade** surrounded by cis teachers & peers USING ME AND MY BODY AS A TALKING POINT#i was the only one who wasnt deeply closeted that is. and holy fuck do i still not blame anyone for being closeted in that school#why is it only okay to try to separate trans ppl from our gender when we're not fem/me#why is one celebrated and the other treated like radioactive waste **within our own community**#god i need to find an irl community fuckin badly online trans circles are hell on earth#ill be describing smth that happened to me as a clocky tguy and someone else will say TO MY FACE#that what happened to me wasnt bc i was a clocky guy but purely bc i was trans#like i. what. how. how does that make any kind of fucking sense#i wouldnt be clocky if i wasnt trying to look like my gender. like i. hello?#would u say that to any other trans person or am i just that special?
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hey, remember 2.3? what was up with that event....
redraw of a thing from 2021 which was sorta a screencap redraw from that one cutscene
also oml albedo your in-game model... i am still so sorry to what they did to you and your hair especially.. i hope they go back and revamp it but i dont have high hopes for that happening 😔
#TWO ART POSTS? TWO DAYS IN A ROW? WHAT IS THIS#AND ITYS ANOTEHR TRANSMASC#no but ive literally only had the creative juices to redraw old stuff.... probs more coming so 👁👁#genshin impact#albedo#my art#bro my color game is significantly better. we are ballin and we are winning. we fucked around and we found out.#off topic but do you think my icon looks kinda naked n bare... idk after changing it back from my halloween one it hasnt been sitting right#with me.. i might just get the black bg back. i think thatd help.. hes getting makeovers for the diff holiday seasons tho.. i wanna keep th#t up. :3c
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day 192
a break from artfight for some good news! i have finally scheduled a surgical consult to have my enemy (read: uterus) removed. this is a bit of a scarier prospect than my breast reduction was, but i think it will be an equally impactful quality of life improvement when all is said and done!!
anyway those of yall who have been here since the beginning may remember me posting through that whole process so i figure why stop now.
#day 192#year 5#it me#cw gore#cw blood#cw... anthropomorphic uterus?????#hysterectomy#anyway much like the tit surgery this is both gender affirming and ALSO fixing a health problem that has been gnawing at me for years#never been confirmed but we suspect i have pcos and the usual medication regimen for that hasnt been managing things very well#SO suffice it to say my periods are logistically and mentally extremely fucking difficult to manage#always have been but since my thyroid problems began about a decade ago they've become horrible AND unpredictable#frankly im fuckin sick of it and going on T for the 6 months i did gave me SUCH a nice break from it all#that as things have started back up it has been made EXTREMELY clear what a huge burden i have been dealing with this whole time#basically i dont want to go back on T right now im happy where im at. BUT. the thought of having to have periods like this#for like 20-30 more years is rapidly becoming un fucking bearable#SO. we yoink that thang asunder
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First book purchase of the year! It WAS on my list of books I wanted, thanks for asking! I love that these are small enough that rereading What Moves the Dead isn't a huge commitment :)
#bookbird babbles#books#booklr#book photos#t kingfisher#what feasts at night#snapshots#acquired at the worlds worst target as compensation for NOT FINDING ANY HALF OFF VALENTINES DAYS CANDY#and also just suffering from existing in that fucking target#i know i keep mentioning how awful it was but listen. listen to me. it sucked.
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@sketchbookweek Day 3 | Family
#I’ve wanted to draw this FOR SO LONG#and I took the opportunity hehe#actually after I saw waddles’ post I realised this would’ve been a good day to draw my sketchbook babies#but fuck it. Lauren#she and Kaisa r family too in the end lol#also I struggled to get this done on time AND my iPad was at 1% and would t charge lol#so you can see it getting rushed towards the end#and man I struggled sm with the lauren panel but yk what it’s aight in the end#hilda#hilda the series#netflix hilda#art#hilda netflix#my art#digital art#fanart#doodle#drawing#sketchbook ship#sketchbook week 2023#kaisanna#Hilda kaisa#kaisa hilda#johanna hilda#Hilda johanna#Hilda (Hilda)#Lauren hilda#Hilda lauren#Hilda oc#comic
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Shizuo gay panicking for the 1st when he bumps into Izaya after school during sunset hour n ohh how the black haired mf looks good w/ the sky's colors n the sun shining on him... Shizu realizes the weird feeling after a while and breaks the street sign that's near him by accident (alerting Izaya of his presence, who runs away), he chases after the flea n when he finally manages to corner Izaya he simply gives him the crumpled stop sign he's been holding all this time and leaves
#shizaya#izaya jus t standing there like 🧍♂️ what the fuck shizu-chan#gay ass much#shizuo panicking fr#eugh shinra would never believe izaya when they finally see each other the next day at school#shizuo avoiding both of them like a plague#drrr#shizuo heiwajima#izaya orihara#drrr!!#durarara#this is lowkey inspired by a fic btw. shizuo panicking around pretty people is such a good hc
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OKAY! Chatot rant in tags below! Read at your own discretion.
#okay starting from the beginning of where ppl usually dislike him. apple woods chapter.#he doesn’t give hero/partner the CHANCE to explain themselves despite them being relatively good recruits up until that point.#and that legit might be my only gripe with that chapter bc!!! stories need conflict! I LIKE the conflict in apple woods!!!#hero and partner being punished so something they didn’t do!#the misunderstanding! how team skull (Skuntank) actually outplays the main duo with a clever yet rotten trick. I LOVE that it segways into-#one of the more sweeter scenes of guild members looking out for eachother. I LIKE APPLE WOODS CONFLICT.#but chatot just. not giving them a chance. is so dumb.#I’d personally fix this by having a lil montage of hero/partner fucking up on jobs. A LOT. and chatot giving them a pass every time.#and let the perfect apple incident BE the one where he puts his foot down and doesn’t listen to them. bc he’d given them loads of chances.#and doesn’t want to hear any excuse.#but yeah. I legit dont mind him during that chapter except for that really stupid and frustrating moment.#NOW. CHAPTER 17.#UGGGGHHH WHERE DO I BEGIN#Him not believing hero and Partner about Grovyle and the future being in ruin? FINE. ACTUALLY GOOD. BC CHATOT WOULD BE SKEPTIC.#IT FITS HIS CHARACTER!!#BUT WHAT DOES SUCK. IS HIM GOING ‘Dusknoir isn’t the bad guy. he didn’t do anything wrong’#WHEN HE LITERALLY KIDNAPPED HERO AND PARTNER RIGHT I N F R O N T OF HIM.#(NO LITERALLY. HIS CHARACTER IS IN THE FRONT ROW WHEN IT HAPPENED.)#and him. having the GALL to tell hero and partner they must’ve been ‘seeing things’ and downplaying the HELL they went through.#despite them being missing for hours/days. his own guild recruits. and his angry sprite showing up.#like. I think that’s when I genuinely despised him.#that and him going ‘OH I BELIEVED YOU THE WHOLE TIME HEEHOO :)’ shit was so fucking annoying.#just playing it off as a joke the second the guild started to believe hero and partner.#IMAGINE IF HE W A S ACTUALLY TESTING THE GUILD’S TRUST. SHOWCASING HIM AS THE MORE RESPONSIBLE AND RESPECTFUL RIGHT HAND OF THE GUILD.#and yes. Brine cave he saves hero and partner. but at that point I just didn’t care anymore.#he fucked those two over so much. that I didn’t care what ‘valiant’ sacrifice he had.#and he grills Team Skull for what they did OFF SCREEN. they couldn’t even give us THAT.#<<< THAT or him outright saying sorry would’ve been nice. IKIK his ‘actions’ or whatever but.#eughh again this is all imo. I’m not trying to make people hate him or change their mind.#I’ll get into positives in the second post cause I’m running out of tags
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everyone cheer and clap I brushed my teeth today AND yesterday
#blue chatter#I told one of my roommates ‘be so impressed; I brushed my teeth for the first time in months’#and he got very hung up on the fact that it’s been months#and I’m like. B. my guy. my pal my friend my roommate. that is not the point.#Celebrate With Me That I Did It.#I don’t think he was trying to be judgemental akdkfkdjsjfn it just came off that way a bit#bc my other roommate (T) and I both rly struggle with personal hygiene and B does not struggle with that At All#so T is like ‘fuck yeah u go Glen coco’ and B is like ‘??? u haven’t been brushing every day this whole time???’#anyway what did eventually motivate me to do it was getting back into Bluey and remembering I have Bluey themed toothpaste so#smth smth needing to be a bit mentally unwell to get healthy smth smth
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It's missing my father hours rn so imma just dump a bunch of pictures here and cry
( sorry i don't know the source of anything I just had them on my phone)
(also dont read the tags i just need to let it out lol)
#I just realized I can call him dad easier than my real dad and now I understand why am I so damn attached to him#I always knew he was a parental figure for me#but now I connected the dots#How when u have an absent dad and a d34d mom a guy shows up in ur life#that tells u life advice that both of ur parents failed to do so#and makes u feel safe the first time in ur life#ofc ud become attached#i know for sure its unhealthy how much i love and miss him#he occupies most of my thoughts honestly#But how could i not cling to him so much when he was the only one who gave me hope in life#i try to keep going and even tho he is not here i keep telling myself whatever he taught me. i keep reminding myself he wants us to live an#bloom and be free#and that's what ill try to do#but you know somedays i wish i could just disappear and be wrapped in eternal happiness#its so fucking hard to pull yourself out of the slump man im so fucking tired im so so tired#somedays i wish id have the courage to off myself but i know that deep down i want to live and ive always wanted to live but i have no idea#how to live. i feel like i finally found a purpose and someone i love. but at the same time im always doubting myself and im scared of losi#g this little hope again and i know i should cherish and use it instead but each day i have this anxiety because rn i have nothing else if#lose this i seriously will lose everything atp. but ill still try bc rn its this or death so i should try im just damn tired yes anyways#sorry for being depressing some days just dont work out but thats okay#yes at the same time i want to get out of my head and try to find some friends but i cant deny that im highkey fucked up and i just cant le#go of my past and i still feel like that helpless unloved kid and idk how to form relationships this way. i dont trust myself at all so idk#how to trust others. and i feel like in order to find ppl that would love me i have to overshare abt my whole lifestory bc it still dictate#my life heavily. and since i met this band its better cuz im learning to deal w it and i want to heal from everything but yes at the same t#me who would wqnt to be friends w. someone that has like a year of life experience and 18 years of depression lol#so yes its complicated. bc i have friends but im like the funny friend. the one that is as shallow as puddle and has no problems but honest#y im genuinely sufferint qnd have been sufferinz all my life so i want to come out of my funny friend role. but that wojld mean i have to t#ll the shit i went through to all my friends but tbh it would be so random so ye. i do have a plan though. how it could work. But yes im ti#ed have been tired for 7 years now. But this time around i hope i can successfully get out of this torture cycle lol.#ok sorry this is what happens after puberty guys i could beva research case for a damn mental institute atp xdd
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I hate writing advice on this website because it'll be a list of things to get over a writer's block and then one of them will be like
"Take a break :) sometimes if you're struggling with writer's block, taking some time away from writing helps :)"
bitch I haven't been able to write anything since 2014. This is a solution to a different problem.
#text post#And then the rest of the advice is stuff like 'Do this thing with is completely incompatible with ADHD'#like scheduling time out of your day to do specific THING#or whatever#it's fucking infuriating#THIS IS NOT THE PROBLEM#I DON"T KNOW WHAT THE PROBLEM IS BUT THIS ISN'T IT
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Can we not just stop birthing men like... women have to stop giving life to men.
I'm doing my part ✌️ and I agree but collectively most women wouldn't. I remember when there was discourse over a radfem having & celebrating giving birth to a baby boy. I've seen radfems praise lesbian couples adopting baby boys.
Tbh a lot of women are sellouts, they sellout other women & even betray themselves for love or having a slightly higher social status in society. When forced to cohabit with predators that have more power & essentially want to reproduce a copy of themselves, women giving them that could elevate or secure their status in society - it's an incentive & many would go for it.
Another thing to consider is that many women birth maIes to spare their lives, there's been cases where maIes would kill their partners & daughters for the woman not having a son (even though the sperm determines the sex). Part of me considers maternal instincts of women not being able to kill their maIe offspring bc that's still their child but then I think of post partum psychosis & cultures where daughters are routinely killed when they're born. If these instincts applied to maIe & female children I dont think things would've gotten this bad. Also a lot of women treat their sons much better than their daughters.
In a patriarchial society, birthing sons lets boymoms live out their power fantasies through their sons. They 'borrow' power from their sons or use their sons as a proxy for power. Like toxic mother in-laws treating their daughter in-laws like shit bc it's through the association that this woman is married to their son, women that cover up their sons sex crimes, in some cultures; boymoms look for women who've undergone FGM for their sons.
Bear in mind so many women still have faith in maIes as a collective, they think they'll raise the "good ones". This notion is popular in feminist spaces, women think they'll magically train & raise maIe allies. There's a saying of how several boymoms have emotional incest with their sons, they see there aren't good maIes in society so they want to create their own one(s).
However I think the biggest issue is that women are never going to be sociopathic or apathetic enough to moids. It would take a high level of apathy to abort maIe fetuses & refuse to birth another xy solely on the basis of their sex, to get to this point you'd need to have this feeling towards maIes generally and most women dont have this. MaIe survival is contentigent on female subjugation, women dont need to subjugate maIes to survive, we carry life, we can also provide for ourselves & maIes know it which is why they've set up societies the way they are and they're brutal about it because they and their bloodlines would be dead anyways if they dont have a system forcing women to rely on them to survive. That said; In the end despite everything, many women still want to partner with maIes, many women still love & believe in maIes. Most women wont disassociate with maIes collectively, catherine mckinnon goes into this in her book "the second sex" where she speaks about how women are scattered everywhere & identify with the tribes maIes put them into as opposed to seeing themselves as a sovereign group.
I personally dont think birthing another oppressor is worth it but people are different. Of course this can (& does) backfire against women but by the time the damage is realised it's too late. Ultimately for a shift in gender ratio & for women to refuse to birth maIes at any cost, they need to think bigger than themselves individually. Think of womankind instead of maIe supremacy & its structures but this will never happen & I wont kid myself otherwise.
#Slightly off point but the greatest maternal instinct of all is refusing to bring life to this hellhole#Going back to my point on women believing in males changing I guarantee even if males genuienly apologised for their actions#and also committed to change; most women would overlook the terrorism moids unleashed#This was so blackpilling to see in feminist spaces; despite all thats seen about male violence many women would still go to bat for males#at the end of the day. This is hinted at with how many women say they dont want revenge they want equality like fuck no#i want xys to suffer for everything they've done idc how forgiving they are. I recently saw a bunch of women coddling a moid who admitted t#creeping on women but claimed to have changed & was sorry.#Also back to radfems celebrating birthing baby boys; prior to this person giving birth she made an insightful tweet on the way#males dehumanise women through sex bots and it was like damn after all that you still happily give birth to & celebrate a baby boy claiming#you'll raise better. Very unserious; all of this is a game to most.#Also before anyone starts boymom apologism best believe majority of these women know the risks of what they're birthing into this world#when birthing a maIe bc they know what maIes are like.#zeeanswers#blackpill feminism#blackpill feminist
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I wanted to play with clip studio’s comic panel settings, so I decided to redo my short comic of a scene from the Star Trek episode 'Naked Time'. From a year ago. That was also paneling practice but I didn’t realize csp had a tool for it. And it looks like shit bc it’s from a year ago but uhhhh. Idk I kinda want to do a comparison but maybe later.
Also there’s a dozen more panels under the cut.
#I did this all in around a day.#literally it’s uhhh. 30 hours since i made the file.#the first version took me months to finish.#what is wrong with me.#and what is wrong with these two.#I still don’t know.#my art#star trek#star trek tos#tos spock#spock#s’chn t’gai spock#tos kirk#kirk#james t kirk#spirk#let me remember what I said about that last time#fucked up evil and in this context kind of one sided.#but by god if it doesn’t compel me.
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