#what a dramatic little shit!

[thychesters]

#wipwednesday! some zoro pov pining but not realizing acknowledging he is until he finally goes “oh. oh lmao.” or sanji kicks him in the head. whichever happens first. (this part is set right at the end of alabasta!)

there’s an awful lot of chest touching in this fic. a lot of “bro. you got a new scar bro. bro, u hurt bro. will it ever heal or will you carry this forever?” and chopper screaming “of course it’s not going to heal if you keep touching it!”

also called “the pine trees fic” because he’s PINING and an entire forest will grow before zoro admits anything. | text under the cut:

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to wake you,” he says, voice barely above a murmur.

“S’okay,” Luffy says. “Whrrya doin’?”

“What?”

“Said,” he tries to sit up a little, though it’s accompanied by a groan and Zoro gently nudging him to lie back down again, a small spark of panic shooting through his veins. He’s seen the wound for himself and knows it will haunt him for a while still: the bloody mess of Luffy’s body, the (commendable) knowledge that he fought in that condition, and that he wasn’t there. “Ah, what’re you doin’?”

“Came to check on you.”

“Oh. Okay. Yeah, I’m here,” Luffy says, eyes already slipping shut again. For a split second he thinks he’s fallen asleep, right up under a cool hand reaches for his own, fingers looping around his wrist. Luffy’s gaze is half-lidded as he looks up at him, somehow stern even on the cusp of unconsciousness. The same hand he drags toward his chest, toward the upper part of where the bandages lay, where his skin is warm to the touch and alive.

He’s met with a surprising amount of resistance, instead of the usual give in his flesh. As tactile a person he may be, he knows Luffy doesn’t like being touched. But now he finds he wants to pry as much as he can, wants to digs his fingers in and see how far his ribs bend, with a sick, twisted feeling that coils in his gut, like part of him wants to burrow himself into his chest, and all Luffy does is watch him with bleary eyes, blinking himself awake.

There is a reassurance in there he didn’t know he was looking for, and his next breath is smoother, though there’s a shakiness to the beginning of his inhale.

Luffy tugs again, a little more insistently this time, and so Zoro follows to settle down beside him. The mattress dips under his weight and his movements are awkward because Luffy refuses to let go of him, but he lies at his side, Luffy rolling his head on his pillow to face him and holding his hand against his chest.

Zoro can feel the rise and fall of it, the thump of his heart if he lets his fingertips press against the flesh a little more. Luffy’s asleep, snoring loudly in the next instant, but Zoro remains awake for a little while longer. With the cool desert breeze rolling in he could almost imagine them on a dinghy again, Luffy asleep beside him and limbs entangled as he keeps watch. He watches him longer still, even as his breathing evens out and he drools onto his pillow, and something hot and angry, scorching the back of his neck in the desert sun, crawls up the back of his ears, threatening to dig its nails into his hair and yank his head back to leave the column of throat exposed like a fool.

[starchaser5]

James: Over the past few months I've been teaching him some new tricks. Now it's time to make daddy proud.

Regulus: Yes sir

James: I could not have been more clearly talking about my cat.

Sirius: *faints*

[lilithofpenandbook]

Sometimes Severus comes up to Minerva. Right up behind her when she's busy. He'll stand there for a good minute as she works on marking assignments and cursing the boy's youthful energy and brilliant eyes- both of which directly responsible for his finishing his work in half the time it takes her.

"What is it, Severus?" Minerva sighs. Might as well get the obligatory nonsense over and done with, she was due a dose of Severus's antics by now (Merlin forbid he go more than three days without bothering her with nonsensical questions or infuriating wit).

"Am I ugly, Minerva?" he asked. Never there was a being with such innocence in their voice.

Minerva took a moment to take in a breath and silently call on all her patience and all her strength. "Yes, very." Her tone was blunter than the knives used to decorate at Halloween- an incident with some particularly idiotic third years had them ban anything sharper than the corners of a book during the Halloween celebrations.

Severus gasped as if stabbed. "What? Minerva, I thought we were friends!"

Minerva snorted. "Any time we interact, it's completely against my will."

"Minerva! you lie so shamelessly it shocks me." Severus made as if to swoon, a hand clutching the right of his chest.

"You must be shocked; your heart isn't where it should be."

Honestly, Minerva had to admire the fact that the insolent little kitten did not falter in his dramatics with her pointing out the key flaw in his act. If anything, he seemed to be encouraged.

"Ay! The pain of the shock, it has spread throughout my chest! Ah, I cannot breathe!" Severus swayed on his feet, leaning against the chair that Minerva was sitting in. "Oh, how your lie shocks me!"

"Well, then, you had better tell me what exactly I lied about," Minerva said briskly, "before you gasp all the air out of your skinny little lungs, laddie."

"You said," the boy said, a sudden glint in his eye and none of the apparent weakness, standing to face her and one of those long, delicate fingers pointed straight at her, "you said, that our interactions are without your will."

"That is no lie, what part of this looks like it's my will?" Minerva replied, knowing full well she wasn't going to appreciate the cheeky answer Severus had prepared for her.

"Why, the part where you remain for my company, mother," Severus replied, his voice light. "Surely, if you didn't want this, you would have, in your infinite wisdom, simply have employed your great power and assumed your famous feline form and just walked away from me."

Minerva fought her smile. His cheek was infuriating while his logic impeccable. "Perhaps I am simply conversing my energy, you arrogant wee rascal."

"You? Too lazy to avoid a nuisance?" Severus scoffed. "Minerva, you wound me. Don't you know how I know you? You've done much more to avoid the mildest of annoyances, do you truly think I believe that you are here against your will merely to converse your energy?"

Minerva let him see the flicker of a smile disgusted as a smirk, letting the bothersome raven have a little treat for his cleverness, hinting to him that he had essentially won this particular argument. "At my age you no longer have the patience to waste on annoyances. You learn to value your peace. You will understand that some day, I hope, little one."

"And if I die, my hair still black and my skin still smooth?"

Merlin, did the child have a turn towards the morbid. Minerva ignored the voice in her that told her that this would have been a retort of her own had she been in a similar conversation.

"Then you'll die a fool."

"A fool, perhaps, but my funeral will be the biggest," he replied, moving to sit on her desk and grabbing the biscuit jar. Minerva intercepted, lifting it from his grip and replacing it with a towel. His protests died in his confusion at the towel, and Minerva huffed and began to wipe his hands as if he was a child. She did not trust him to correctly clean his hands after handling goodness knows what when experimenting with his potions and she didn't care if he knew it.

"Aye, and how did you figure that?" she asked.

"Surely if I die young, I shall be the first. Therefore you all will be part of the funeral-"

"What makes you think I would want to attend your funeral, you little rascal?" She let go of his hands, almost satisfied that they weren't contaminated.

Severus ignored her and instead took a biscuit from the jar. "You will all be there, therefore I will have the biggest funeral. If I die old, you all shall be gone, so my funeral will be the smallest."

Minerva tried not to think of how depressing that sounded, how lonely it seemed. For a brief moment she felt guilty for being so old and he so young. She involuntarily could see him in her mind's eye, going through their funerals until he stood alone. She and the others- Rolanda, Pomona, Poppy, even Fillus and Hagrid- they were all of an age, weren't they? They could expect their lives to reach the end around the same time, surely? Severus was but a child next to them, he'd stand alone one day.

Minerva tried to ignore the ache in her chest at the thought of him standing alone. Merlin, no. He was far too young. No.

"You truly are besotted with the morbid and the miserable, you melanchonic masochist," she said, her tone just a trifle too sharp to be a simple retort.

Severus paused, swallowing the biscuit. Then he answered. "Ah, but the morbid is much more fascinating, the forbidden has a certain thrill, dear mother." His voice was a little softer, and his fingers, slightly coated in crumbs, were gentle when he tapped her forehead. He was sorry he upset her.

"You and your thrills," Minerva scolded, "yet you cannot even eat a biscuit without making a mess of yourself." Yet even as she spoke, the hand that she used to swipe the crumbs away, was gentle, almost tender, in its movement. She had quite forgiven him.

How could she remain angry? At this boy who looked at her with a scowl of indignation yet whose deep, dark eyes twinkled with mischief and cleverness and brilliance, who stood taller than her, yes, yet was far more delicate in his build than she had ever been, whose hair was as dark as hers had been in her youth, carelessly falling across his forehead. No, she could not remain angry.

If only he had been in Gryffindor, perhaps then she would have noticed him sooner. Or rather, if only her eyes didn't only open for her Gryffindors. How this boy could ever look at her without resentment and anger, she didn't know. Then again, he had been so incredibly isolated and lonely, was it any wonder he let go of his rightful grudges and instead accepted her friendship?

Minerva blinked as if soot from the fireplace got in her eyes. She didn't want him to notice the tears that almost inevitably formed whenever she thought about him. Who would have thought that she'd cry so much for the little devil?

"I'll leave you to your work, dear mother," Severus said cheerfully, hopping off her desk.

"Aye, after you've cleared out my biscuit jar, you villain" Minerva grumbled, looking into the empty jar. Severus shrugged.

"You ought to see it as a compliment towards your taste, really," Severus said. "But I see I have taken the last of your patience"- for indeed, Minerva looked ready to strangle him- "so I shall take my leave. Good night, my good Headmistress, and may you have peace in the silver embrace of the moon!"

And with a laughing twinkle in his eye and a boyish bow, Severus Snape left the room.

Minerva sighed. She wasn't sure if it was out of relief, or because she may have felt some sorrow at his departure.

The door opened again, and a rather meek Severus poked his head in.

"Er, Minerva?" he asked.

"Yes, Severus?"

"Er." Severus stepped in, looking away from her, walking with the awkward gait of a newborn foal, and the nervousness of a deer. "Er, Minerva?"

"Yes, Severus?"

"Am I really ugly, mother?" His voice was a whisper. His raven hair curtained his face, hiding his shame at asking such a pathetic question, and his fingers picked at one of the cuticles of a nail.

Minerva smiled, and walked to him. Softly she brushed the boy's hair out of his face and gently tucked it behind his ear.

"Only as long as you let yourself believe it, dear heart."

[moderndaypandora]

The LAYERS needed in a modern/human Dreamling au.  Some level of Endless family dysfunction, obviously.  Hob's family can be be dead or not, it's all good. Are they old enough to have individually gained the awareness they are off-puttingly intense and should hide it a bit at first, or still in that "no, why would I need to Elsa this" stage?

Option A is both of them trying to play it cool, like "don't scare him off" except they so badly want to go from zero to sixty.

(Death and Desire have ruthlessly drilled Dream with flashcards about how to react appropriately in situations.

Desire: it's your one-month anniversary, what do you do?

Dream: [hesitantly] NOT propose?

Desire and Death, conferring, because that's technically correct but the delivery was suspect.

Death, encouragingly: Good start. And?


Dream: a nice dinner and maybe a walk?

Desire: well done!

Death: and for a three-month anniversary?


Dream: give them a key to my flat.

Desire: [airhorn] NO. RED CARD.)

Option B makes them the classic anecdotal "my grandparents got engaged within seven days of meeting each other and still are happy together".

(Death, rubbing her temples: so you met this guy--

Dream: Hob

Death: -- Hob, and within 1 day you gave notice to the Registrar's Office and figured out the best day to get married. And Hob agreed to this?

Dream: NO.

Death: oh thank go-

Dream: Hob SUGGESTED this.

Death: . . .

Dream: are you going to be a witness or not?

Death, 29 days later in the Registrar's Office, to Hob's witness: Is he sane?

Johanna Constantine, drinking heavily from a large flask: unfortunately yes, by all legal definitions.

Death: fuck

Johanna: [passing the flask over] if your brother's even a tenth as intense as Hob, they'll be fine. Probably.

Death, brightening: Is Hob that bad?


Johanna: You know how sometimes you meet somebody and think "oof, they're a bit much, best give them a wide berth"?


Death: yeah.

Johanna: Hob's like a camouflaged hole in the ground of muchness. Except he's done the hole up all nice and he knows that sometimes you just want to be left alone in the hole to sulk and rattle the spikes for a bit, and occasionally get a F&M hamper tossed in.

Death: [hmmmmmmm'ing approvingly]

Johanna, morose: the bastard.

In the background, Hob and Dream are pressing their foreheads together and basking in each other's presence)

[goodolddumbbanana]

You know, I vaguely felt there was some similarity between Dark Sun and Sun, but I couldn't put my finger on it. But now I think I have figured it out.

I think Dark Sun's dimension is just exactly like Sun's, but with faster timelines.

Because Dark Sun's dimension has an Eclipse, so that means, they have to separate before Eclipse being created, right?

And it seems like it's just a normal day to Dark Sun!Moon, before he got ripped apart and tortured for idk... years?

And if Dark Sun doesn't have the exact same life as Sun, he would never be sympathetic with him or think Sun one day would be snap, right?

So what if, they have the same history as Sun and Moon. Waking up, being sentient, with Moon makes Sun's life a living hell, separate....

Only, with Sun and Moon, Moon kinda stops being an asshole from time to time... (The amount of time he is being an assholes lesser than the time he is being a dear brother.)

But with Dark Sun and Dark Sun's Moon, there are some differences.

1. Moon is the one who takes the body.

We saw when Sun pulled a "dragon ball" to Eclipse. His body got broken, and his Eclipse model showed off. This Moon has exactly the same condition and model as Sun, which means, when they separated, Moon is the one who keeps the body.

I guess this Moon thinks he should be the one who is in charge (he thinks he is more superior) and his hatred for Sun still does not go off after separation.

So he may have treated Dark Sun badly, or worse, he just treated him just like when they were sharing the same body, just slightly better.

Like Moon would downgrade Dark Sun, belittle him, hit him with the whacking stick....

Because Sun at the beginning of the show, thinks that Moon hated his guts so much he didn't want to live with him, that's why he has bought a house in space.

Which means, in that time, Dark Sun still has the same mentality of these thinking, and plus with the Eclipse things, I guess he just snapped.

2. July 16th on Dark Sun's dimension

I think the July 16th in Dark Sun's dimension still happened. Because if it is not, why does Dark Sun hate Bloodmoon? He seems to despise the existence of Bloodmoon more than apathetic about him.

Which leads to the bunker. Y'all remember the big fight Sun and Moon had in the bunker, but gladly, they made amends after the big fight with Wither Storm? (Sun had been really down after that, but he decided to be a better person and forgave Moon)

There is one line I remember. "Every Sun hated their brother, they just don't know it yet."

What if in Dark Sun's dimension, there is none of it? Or Moon never wants to make amends, was too deeply in his self hated ? He never apologised to Dark Sun, which leads to Dark Sun's hatred for Moon growing more and more, day by day until till Dark Sun decides enough is enough.

Because it seems like Moon got caught off guard. Moon has tons of self defense machine bullshit, so that means, it just happened in one day when nothing happened, when Dark Sun and Moon still laugh with each other in the morning.

Moon got his downfall just exactly like Dark Sun said, because of his own ego, never believe his weak idiot brother would try and succeed in beating him down.

3. Sun and Dark Sun's nature

Sure Sun is very kind, he cares and loves his family so dearly and he always believes in second chances or something... But he is also a very realistic and pessimistic person.

When Sun decides something may be a threat to him (Dark Sun's case cuz that baby girl doesn't care about anybody) or his family, or when he has no emotion attracted to it, he immediately goes into kill mode.

(When Jack dumped Sun's cats into the trash can, he almost went to scrap Jack. He killed Eclipse v1 cuz there is no way Eclipse v1 would stop hurting his family, and when Sun went to the spirals, not only Sun destroyed Eclipse v2's computer, he also threatened to kill Solar Flares...)

What I am going to say is, Sun and All variants of Sun can be very single minded at the same time. With Dark Sun, not only did he torture Moon, he also programmed Monty or killed everyone that might cause problems for him. He just went down the killing route, and tried to win the prize who killed the most.

I think the reason why Dark Sun thinks kinda highly about Sun, not only because he sees himself in Sun, but also he knows about how Sun accidentally killed his Moon once.

The backbone Dark Sun says to Sun I think now it's just as simple as bland. Dark Sun wants Sun to hate Moon, to stop putting up with Moon. That is why he said Sun is naive, because Sun still waiting answer from the others. That's why he manipulated events to make Nexus evil, so he can open Sun's eyes, proving for Sun that every Moon is just the same assholes, no one would and will ever change that title, despite them saying again and again how many times they will be better.

4. Do you think Dark Sun is lonely?

Because Dark Sun is still Sun, he can't get rid of those illogical sentiments.

Letting Moon alive? Letting him have his own body but can't move or do anything? Not only is it in another level of petty and cruel, it also shows that despite everything, Dark Sun still can kill Moon properly.

And keeping his dimension alive despite killing or programming everyone? How he still think of it as his home? Purely sentimental.

And when he visits Lunar and Earth, these banter, these siblings moments, there is no way it is fake.

Sun is not a good actor. He may read patterns and act along these assumptions of people's thinking very well, but he is just too self aware and stiff to do it. Moon is the dramatic one. He is the one who fooled Eclipse v1 for a long time, enough time for them to found the star.

So that means there is some part of Dark Sun still enjoying it, still enjoying chatting with his siblings. Still want to have a family, have someone to rely on.

Dark Sun's Moon had begged and yelled at Sun to come back, that means there was a time when Dark Sun still showed up at that cell, looking at the broken Moon, and maybe think about what would change if Moon just being a slightly lesser asshole before wiping all these regrets off his head and enjoying His Moon's suffer.

"Maybe in a different timeline, we can be happy. But right now, it's just me and you in this hellhole alone, with I stand outside and you in the cage like you always be. Wish I could just kill you and move on. Wish our father is never right, that you are always just the violent beast. Wish I could hate you for that, and wish I could let go of you, Moon."

Sidenote: so what does it make Nexus, who refuses to acknowledge himself as Moon? Because it seems like Dark Sun still thinks of him as Moon, and already pulls his strings to make Moon kill Nexus faster.

And why Dark Sun! Moon said to not to believe everything Dark Sun said? And why does this Moon call Dark Sun "it"?

Does that mean in this Universe, it was Moon who disowned Dark Sun?

[coffeesleep-ooc]

Essay on heartbreak points

Just thinking of LBH pining over SQQ along the novel before he finally gets the man

Pre-abyss LBH wants SQQ, but the thing i see in him is not just wanting him, carnally sexually or otherwise, he wants SQQ’s attention and approval bc he admires him, its as simple as that. Og goods already had his admiration just bc he was a great cultivator, he was elegant and beautiful and worked hard af, it was like…if a polished stone like jade was used to hurt rather than be the soft, warm and flawless concept of beauty - that chinese media usually uses -. But then the cold showed a soft inner core! Yes! Our dear transmigrator took over and confused the hell out of t he poor LBH that still struggled to excuse SJ’s behavior. Then though, SY took care of him with love and with smiles, using mdoern sensibilities to measure things like care and affection…and I think that some of those discrepancies between a hellish setting and a soft oblivious SY must have been quite jarring to LBH. He sees someone that believes in inherent good and is passionate and silly, knowledgeable and kind, and can’t help but want to be close! He admires him so much!!

Still pre-abyss, not only LBH admires the heck out of SY, he is also his shizun, and i don’t forget about his teacher kink but im talking about the dynamics of it instead of anything sexual. LBH knows and firmly believes that his position is way below that of SQQ’s, he is protected and cared for, but he longs to protect and care for as well right? Because he has seen that SQQ is powerful but not above everything, because he is knowledgeable but not all-seeing, because he may be taken advantage of by someone crafty that doesn’t deserve his kindness. LBH pretends to fall and be weak and helpless when it’s convenient for him, but he knows he has to take every advantage he can bc he needs to be strong enough to protect SQQ, because the world has shown him that there are many dangers and that someone not of a peak lord’s status isn’t worth to marry (idk how much about this airplane would have put into his work, but lets remember that ancient chinese marriages were a very foemal and important thing that involved status and wealth, not just love). Let’s remember our bun has also been a street rat and probably saw many things at one point or another! We can only speculate and write fics about that last point, but the street is not a good place to be, especially in a PIDW setting. Also, bc he wasn’t strong enough, quick enough, bc his family had no power or money his mother died, it’s as hurtful and as plain as that for him, even if he knows (does he though?) that it’s not his fault.

Onwards to the abyss! It’s shit. That’s what it is. Shizun who he admires, respects and loves above everything, who told him that nobody was intolerable for the heavens went against every fucking shit he said and coldly forced LBH into the abyss. What the actual fuck SQQ (affectionate), you gave him so many issues fr. I can only imagine how confused the poor LBH must have felt when his Shizun yet again changed tune like this in a way he can’t fully explain this time, even more so, he could try, but it wouldn’t change the fact that LBH is currently in the worst place ever because the person he loves with his whole heart threw him there (and possibly wanted him to stay down there? to become one of its creatures? To die? He has no idea???). LBH has strived to be good, to be worthy in his teacher’s eyes since he entered the sect and he has just gotten proof that he isn’t and will never be even though he had the hope of getting there despite everything. It’s just filled with heartbreak and i think that the system only deducted SQQ’s current total points bc he literally had to die to be deducted any more and LBH can’t have him dead and the system knows that extremely well! It also gave SQQ a scenario push remember? And that was only for LBH’s benefit istg, SQQ had no idea.

and talking about death! Funny thing isn’t it? It’s ridiculous that SQQ dies so many times (srsly bro, wtf - again affectionate) but I believe that the first was the most traumatic for LBH. SQQ doesn’t sneer at him like a disgusting mucus but instead is afraid of him! LBH worked hard to just see SQQ again, to reunite the courage to talk to him and ask him if he regretted what he did, to show him he was a good person and that he had power now, that he could impress him and protect him (he has lost a lot of his own self-esteem base and i do believe that’s part of where heartbreak points come from) the person whom he values the opinion of the most -the only one even- thinks him a beast and an unredeemable demon…and when he tries to peove himself not that, the only thing SQQ does is run away from him, to decide to be silent and refuse even LBH’s (biased) kindness. He wouldn’t even take LBH’s robe! Imagine that you love someone and that someone hates your guts and refuses to even acknowledge that they hurt you, oh, and all this while an evil sword is fighting to take advantage of your negative feelings. Post-abyss is also shit, just a bit better bc LBH has the illusion of control, he thinks he can still control the situation and is slowly losing hope of shizun understanding him. But the illusion shatters when SQQ self-detonates to save him. The one he supposedly hates. LBH is probably just eternally confused in sv now that i think about it lmao *pats consolingly*

post death 1 (actually 2 for SY): LBH thought he knew shizun, then he realized he couldn’t explain everything shizun did. Then he tried to ask, not even for a full explanation, just to know if shizun really did hate him (bc LBH truly doesn’t care at that point what SQQ does or what SQQ’s reasons and actions were as long as he still loves him, smhw he is so…) and got instead a blow up in his face, coupled with other ppl’s accounts of SQQ mourning him like he was actually truly dead, missing him and finally he sees SQQ sacrificing himself for him. This surely must be enough fpr LBH right? Well…not really, SQQ could have been sacrificing himself to protect the ppl around him - LQG is there and we all know that LBH is mildly sus of him at this point, it will get worse later when LQG is the one coming by every fucking day to retrieve SQQ’s corpse so mhm…its possible LBH thought they had something (not necessarily romantic) at some point, or that LQG and the other ppl were important enough to sacrifice his life for. Not only that, but shizun was not rejoicing when he came back, he never said anything. He killed himself in everyone’s pov -but SQH’s-without explanation, in the most tragic and confusing way of all, saying he would repay LBH…lets also remember that repaying someone can mean completely cutting ties and leaving with a clean slate. And the only actual thing he did was show LBH he didn’t have actual control over the situation and that it was possible to be completely powerful and still lose the ones you love and care about. Idk (or don’t remember haha…) the moment LBH started building the bamboo house in the demonic realm, but it says a lot about what he wants and what he dreams about, the most probable things he is feeling at this point is desperation and melancholy, nostalgia. He longs for the days where he was secure in the knowledge of Shizun’s affection for him, no matter what kind of affection it was, but at the same time is bittersweet because he knows that shizun will never love him foe who he is and that drives him mad with heartbreak that is just building up over time. He will also feel incredibly guilty over SQQ repaying him with his life, because all he ever wanted was basic communication but Shen ‘i am so emotionally repressed i can’t even tell what I’m actually feeling’ Qingqiu obviously thought he was being hunted for revenge. So rip LBH, he wanted an explanation or just a simple ‘i regret it’ but what he gets is confusion, a corpse he has to reanimate asap, and incredible guilt + more damage to his self esteem

Then SQQ comes back and doesn’t even try to search fpr him? And everything becomes a huge mess quite quickly. But. Luo Binghe watches his shizun go back to his martial family and interact with them in a way that he doesn’t interact with LBH anymore. LBH gets his face rubbed with the fact that what he strongly wishes for (going back) is impossible because he made the mistake of being born. Which, would demoralize the strongest of us honestly. And uta been so long since i read sv that I don’t remember much, but im sure that LBH can’t even think that SQQ does care for him, the trauma and insecurity, the abandonment issues have grown so big that they are like a bull in a china shop, ready to shatter everything in short range. Its only when SQQ gives his life (LBH does not know this but he is aware that SQQ would not have used papapa to save the world with just everyone) and gives him something he kept for so long - and that LBH himself thinks is precious despite being worthless - that he understands a bit that shozun may not hate him so much. I’m surprised that heartbreak points weren’t so used or that we didn’t get reminded of them through the story, because it would have given us an inkling of how LBH was feeling, but also spoilers and SQQ’s obliviousness, i imagine that at the end of sv they would have been lower than what they were (in truth) at the IAC but not completely gone

finally, i think that heartbreak points could be used to gauge how traumatized poor LBH was at eaxh point in time, but also to measure the state of his self esteem and the level of hope he had according to the way SQQ acted along the novel. I think that the points were all gone at some point (i eont remember anymore -cries- ) but i fullly believe that post canon Binghe still has heartbreak points and a whole lot of issuws that start to slowly disappear as thwir relationahip progresses. The only thing is that LBH still ties his own worth to SQQ’s opinion of him, and he will have heartbreak points again if he misunderstands SQQ st any point (unlikely but still).

Anyways…

THIS POOR BABY BREAKS MY HEART! He was terrible but he was also very human and truly, he deserves good.

Sorry about the rambling essay! :D

[ratatatastic]

local man haunts (me) open practise yet again more news at 11

[hecketernal]

IT'S THE HORNS AU

Descendants of Mar have a remarkable tendency to grow horns.

Every Ex-Havenite old enough to remember the family of Mar knows this. They come in all kinds of colors and shape, and even the horn growth pattern seems completely random. A parent often having entirely different looking horns to their child. Damas wondered if Mars' horns would be so different to his own. They hadn't grown in before he was taken. Most descendants didn't start budding until at least their teens.

Mar, the warrior who built Haven city, bore two thick, tusk-like horns that framed his jaws. Damas' mother had had blackened ram horns, meanwhile his sister had had a bright neon blue pair that grew out of her temples angled out like a second pair of ears. It had always made his older sister look rather intimidating. With the sharp cut of her eyeliner drawn in angular slashes around her eyes, he had watched no small number of men quail under that glare.

So yes, those that were old enough (or just brusque enough as native wastelanders tend to be to ask the king to his face why he had horns coming out of his noggin') knew exactly what having horns meant to their leader.

This is the reason why the arena grows hushed, when the newest recruit transforms into a pale frenzied thing with black little horns standing out clearly from the white hair.

[eskildit]

how long do you think it took for Camilla and Palamedes to feel settled and adjusted to the body sharing like casual enough for Camilla to start a message like “okay so now let me tell you the shit I learned about Judith in captivity-”

[itwoodbeprefect]

"but how do you watch something accidentally with french subtitles?" you may ask, and i may tell you that it's simple, because i love english, english is fun and versatile and incredibly useful in this world, but listening to some dutch music recently reminded me how much consuming dutch art for a change feels like doing stretches for my brain (i don't really notice what i'm missing out on if i don't do it, but it feels SO good when i do), and that had me pondering once again how to incorporate some german into my diet in a natural way, because if dutch is my language, then german belongs to people i love, german is the one used to tell family stories, german is a language that feels like home but that i use so little it always takes a few days of just listening before i remember how to speak without feeling like an idiot, and so i thought to myself, well, i know bad buddy has a whole list of subtitle options, and perhaps i can pull off a really neat trick here and get my fill of german while also spending some time with thai (with which i am having a torrid love affair this year) through a show i know almost by heart at this point, because i can process the german fast enough to still be able to listen to what i'm hearing (the spoken thai), and then as a bonus, i'd get to sidestep english entirely for a few brief but glorious moments, which is a thing so rare it's almost unheard of, and that would just be a win-win-win. however! it turns out german is not one of the many, many languages offered on youtube as a subtitle option for bad buddy (which is of course fine because in a grand way, truly, why would it). and they do happen to have french, which i then of course had to click just for fun almost as a joke just to see it play for a minute or so and definitely not any longer than that, and as it turns out, on a practical is-this-doable-for-me level french in this context worked out way better than i thought it might, which is why i got sucked in immediately, easily fascinated as i am. but this is also a language that has me reading just slowly enough that it takes all my attention to have any hope at staying caught up with the speed of the dialogue, which amounts to a situation that is, you know, not making me feel much closer to my german grandmother (or making me feel very much at all for that matter, because on the whole i have a deeply impersonal relationship with french), but that IS very unexpectedly making me think fondly of my high school french teacher who once wrote under an assignment that he really hoped i'd choose to do something with languages. and this is probably not what he meant, but i suppose i am doing that, yes. both by choice and because i stumbled and tripped and now i've watched several episodes of a french subtitled thai show in an attempt to find german input because i was listening to dutch music.

[fuckdamn]

everytime i’m faced with wild overt misogyny that’s just platformed like it’s nothing i remind myself that people don’t actually have to feel this way about women. men are fully capable of treating women like human beings and viewing them as such. “but socialization but male fantasies but patriatchy speaks through us even when we don’t recognize it” sure but actually regardless there exist men who are fundamentally not raging misogynists and they generally seem happier and better adjusted. misogyny to me isn’t disappointing because “oh i can’t believe Men, as an essentialized category of person, are like this” it’s disappointing because people make the choice to be like this. “it’s my biological imperative as a man to dominate you” okay well it’s my biological imperative as a freaky bitch to dominate you so what now. what biological imperative is making you comment “onlyfans detected opinion rejected” on every picture of any attractive woman. i think i will always be understood by most people as a woman and i’m learning to accept that and trying to like it but misogyny makes me feel very trapped of course. but misogyny is a choice. which means some people make the choice to be misogynistic which is profoundly frustrating. but many other people choose not to be actively misogynistic and i believe anyone could choose not to be actively misogynistic if they wanted. so it’s a whole thing

[wilsonsmcgillsweatshirt]

If I could describe James Wilson any way I wanted, it would be painful. He reminds me of so many different kinds of pain, I can't pick just one.

The kind of pain you don't even realize hurts. Like when you cut yourself and you don't even realize it until you've already smeared blood all over your shirt and the countertop. Like when a deer is shot, and for those brief few moments, it keeps running. It doesn't even realize it's been hit until it's too late. This type of pain creeps up on you. Like that myth that says you're supposed to put frogs in a pot of water and slowly warm it up so they don't even realize they're dying? That kind of pain. You don't even see it coming. You can't even prepare for it. One moment, you're fine, and you understand life, and then everything changes before you can even blink. Wilson is like that. He sneaks up on you, he integrates himself into your life, and he becomes everything you need. And you don't even realize it's happening until suddenly you can't exist without him. Suddenly, your whole world revolves around him, and you can't quite figure out how that happened so fast.

The second type of pain that James Wilson embodies is the kind that maschocists would die for. It's the kind of pain that hurts, but you can't pull yourself away from it. It's the most dangerous kind of pain because it's the kind that you learn to love. It feels like your lover biting your lip when you're kissing, or when your muscles ache after a night together. It's like having a puppy that playfully nips at you or a cat that kneads your legs while purring. It's the kind of bittersweet pain you feel when thinking back to fond childhood memories. You smile at them, and they warm you, but you're left with a bone deep ache. When you move out of your parents' house, and you're so excited to have your own place, but looking at your now empty childhood bedroom makes you want to cry. James Wilson is that kind of pain. He slides his way into your life and slips into your heart, and just looking at him hurts because he's so beautiful. He reels you in with the most perfect words and softest actions, and he convinces you that you are the center of the universe, if only because he said so. And when his attention inevitably wains, and you go from obsession to neglect, you can't even fully be mad at him. Because he knows you'll soak up any drop of his affection, and he'll feed you just enough that you don't starve. He strings you alone, and just when you've finally got the courage to leave, he'll look at you with those soft eyes and kiss you with those pretty lips and convince you that you've hung the stars. And it becomes a vicious cycle that you can't claw your way out of, and you're not even sure if you want to try.

James Wilson is an addiction. He hides himself through innocent smiles and sweet words and pressed clothes and a facade. He's not what he looks like. He's not safe. He will promise you that you can trust him, that he's innocent, that he's only got your best interests at heart. And you'll be tempted to believe him. But everybody lies, and nobody lies better than he does.

[irrelevant-iguanadon]

Not to restate things that have already been stated time and time again but Jesus vote and don't fucking vote 3rd party. I want to live, I want to see my friends live and it's going to be so much harder if trump wins. People will die. People I love and you love will die. Please fucking vote if you can and please fucking vote for Biden because if you don't then it's clear you really don't care about queer and trans kids, queer and trans people in general, SA victims, people of color, fucking teachers and educators, single moms, and anyone and everyone in between. People you and I both love will be in so so much danger. Please vote.

[b0amagination]

Tastes of Whumptober: Day 26

Continued directly from Day 16! A lighter day.

Content warnings for: implied alcohol dependency and slight suicidal ideation

Breakfast Table

“Mornin’, Payge.” They waved with a glass of orange juice. 

Nicolai had left him a bit of privacy this morning, considering the events of the previous night. He was grateful for it, and for the underarm crutch he’d been offered. 

You won’t want to put weight on that for a while, now. I broke my ankle a few years ago but kept the crutches.”

“Why?”

“The NHS paid for them. Figured I earned it.”

“Can’t argue with that.”

“That’s an awful plain looking tequila sunrise. Just a mimosa this morning?” He grinned, slipping into the chair with a bit of effort and leaning the walking aid against the table. 

“Just orange juice with your pills. I’m afraid my liquor cabinet isn’t as… robust as yours.” A hint of judgment crept into Nicolai’s tone, but he paid it no mind.

“Pills? You know that’s not my style,” Payge laughed, voice scratching around exhaustion and exertion.

“Vitamin D, magnesium, and iron. They’ll help you heal up.”

The three pills sat next to his tall glass and he took a small sip to down each one.

“Thanks. You didn’t have to.” It was strange. To be pampered like this. His hands were trembling, probably for a number of reasons. 

“Make sure you finish the whole glass.” An appliance beeped somewhere behind them. “Ah! What do you take in your porridge?”

Nicolai jumped up and opened the microwave, carefully removing two steaming bowls and heaping one with apple slices and honey.

“I’m not especially picky, just… whatever you have?”

“Try again. What do you like?” they asked but Payge hesitated, unwilling to make their work harder.

“Pecans and maple syrup, but only if you’ve got it on hand, okay?”

They opened the fridge and shook the jar of halved pecans at him like they were enticing a dog with treats, but his growling stomach told him he wasn’t much better off. He watched them be sprinkled on, swirled with syrup, and topped with a pinch of brown sugar.

“You really shouldn’t have, Nic. You didn’t do much good scraping me off death’s door, of all people.”

“I wouldn’t call it the door. You were on its porch, maybe. In the garden, more like,” they shrugged, setting a bowl at each placement. Nicolai perched back on their chair. 

“I can’t imagine she’d have much use for that,” he laughed, earning a smile in return. “Does she grow bones from scratch?”

“Maybe she grows flowers to decorate her favorite graves.” They hadn’t taken a bite yet, but Payge’s gaze weighed heavy on breakfast. A flourish of the spoon told him it was alright to go ahead.

He held back as well as he could from scarfing down each and every morsel, instead taking heaping spoonfuls and throwing back the juice. A mild improvement. 

“I’ll be out of your hair by the evening, by the way. Just might need a moment to arrange a ride,” he murmured into perfect oats. 

“Er, no. Absolutely not.”

“What?”

“You’re grievously injured, your bike’s still in the shop, and you shouldn’t be walking to work.” Nicolai counted out each reason on a finger. “And you clearly won’t take care of yourself.”

“I’ll stay over somewhere else. I can’t go and burden you like this out of nowhere, Nic! We weren’t even close enough to meet one on one before all this.”

“And yet I was the only one to show up yesterday.” They tilted their head. “Would anyone closer have stopped for you?”

He swallowed hard. Would they?

“Maybe.”

“Stay. I’ll put you back together, Payge.”

[hauntingblue]

Them doing a photo lineup of the mugis for the battle and when it's Robin's turn she just turns and does a blue eyed stare at the camera 😭😭

Look at her 😭😭

[chiistarri]

if i had a more fem face it would be over for all yall 🙄