#actually i dont understand what metaphors are so im just guessing

[wilsonsmcgillsweatshirt]

If I could describe James Wilson any way I wanted, it would be painful. He reminds me of so many different kinds of pain, I can't pick just one.

The kind of pain you don't even realize hurts. Like when you cut yourself and you don't even realize it until you've already smeared blood all over your shirt and the countertop. Like when a deer is shot, and for those brief few moments, it keeps running. It doesn't even realize it's been hit until it's too late. This type of pain creeps up on you. Like that myth that says you're supposed to put frogs in a pot of water and slowly warm it up so they don't even realize they're dying? That kind of pain. You don't even see it coming. You can't even prepare for it. One moment, you're fine, and you understand life, and then everything changes before you can even blink. Wilson is like that. He sneaks up on you, he integrates himself into your life, and he becomes everything you need. And you don't even realize it's happening until suddenly you can't exist without him. Suddenly, your whole world revolves around him, and you can't quite figure out how that happened so fast.

The second type of pain that James Wilson embodies is the kind that maschocists would die for. It's the kind of pain that hurts, but you can't pull yourself away from it. It's the most dangerous kind of pain because it's the kind that you learn to love. It feels like your lover biting your lip when you're kissing, or when your muscles ache after a night together. It's like having a puppy that playfully nips at you or a cat that kneads your legs while purring. It's the kind of bittersweet pain you feel when thinking back to fond childhood memories. You smile at them, and they warm you, but you're left with a bone deep ache. When you move out of your parents' house, and you're so excited to have your own place, but looking at your now empty childhood bedroom makes you want to cry. James Wilson is that kind of pain. He slides his way into your life and slips into your heart, and just looking at him hurts because he's so beautiful. He reels you in with the most perfect words and softest actions, and he convinces you that you are the center of the universe, if only because he said so. And when his attention inevitably wains, and you go from obsession to neglect, you can't even fully be mad at him. Because he knows you'll soak up any drop of his affection, and he'll feed you just enough that you don't starve. He strings you alone, and just when you've finally got the courage to leave, he'll look at you with those soft eyes and kiss you with those pretty lips and convince you that you've hung the stars. And it becomes a vicious cycle that you can't claw your way out of, and you're not even sure if you want to try.

James Wilson is an addiction. He hides himself through innocent smiles and sweet words and pressed clothes and a facade. He's not what he looks like. He's not safe. He will promise you that you can trust him, that he's innocent, that he's only got your best interests at heart. And you'll be tempted to believe him. But everybody lies, and nobody lies better than he does.

[n0bluev]

The night sky can only be overshadowed by a star (its star.). A star of all things, the one thing that cannot be allowed to see the night of the sky, angled to be hidden away behind dawn and dusk. The night leaves quietly (but is cursed to come back ; avoiding is just like following when an orbit is shared.)

A star can only go off explosively, spectacularly. (Then, collapsed in on itself, away from the world to see (finally part of the shadow the night cast) it seems the bare core is at peace with never bringing day back : darkness soothes.)

Gojo is like a star - bright, hot, shining. Geto is like the night sky - mysterious, deep, endless.

[frankendykez]

What r ur oc stories about?

OMG HIHI I NEVER HAD SOMEONE OUTSIDE OF MY CURRENT FRIENDS ACTUALLY ASK BEFORE UMMMM OKAY SO. i have 3! main oc stories that i Really care about at the moment but im Deeply fixated on mainly 1 of them but im gonna start with the one ive been liek "promoting" the most in a sense!! under read more cuz im gonna try to exlain all three of them bless. sorry if i seem overly passionate oops i was TRYING to summarise im sorry its so long u rlly dont Have to read All of it

Forgotten Man's Symphony

his (louis manoir) character is basically a spin off from a character mentioned in the novel frankensetin exactly (1) time by name in elizabeth's letter and by far he is the most organised oc of mine cuz we do actually have a clean, understandable summary doc (thought it is a tad bit outdated but its okay). shes like the most Normal narrative-wise i suppose so i'm not exactly sure on how to explain the plot of forgotten man's symphony it's just like??? him ruining his life in front of the reader and then #Healing?? i guess?? the story is an epistolary that starts with louis' Suicide Letter. so like. yeah. BUT!! i suppose i would say his story very much concerns the concept of like identity (including gender and such she would be considred either transfemme/bigender by the modern world but also idfk cuz i made her complicated and confusing on purpose) and also the lack thereof + the negative impact that comes with trying so hard to fit into the societal norms and what people Want you to be but you just Can't be, cutting away bits of yourself to fit through some sort of hole representing the perfect version of you until theres nothing left of Who You Are expect a palatable and small version yk?? and the the endless pursuit of wanting to be loved that leads yourself to changing and changing for people who just wont care or love you for realsies + @rosaniruby 's words "making it even like that so its not YOU who is loving and being loved but the dim visage of a version of you that fits the picture of what society loves; that it's not a love between individuals, it's the love for a society that cannot ever love anything because it was made to hate. and who believes that portrayal of love will not find it and forever be stuck. smth like society loves what it deems as perfect and hates the imperfect, since perfect doesn't exist it can only do the second one. and louis wanted to love perfect victor, hated his own imperfect self. but the perfect victor doesnt exists, and neither does any version of louis."

i like her he's great. sorry if that was less telling u WHAT his story is and more like Explaining the "themes" as theyre called of the story but idrk how to describe nromal stuff so TAKE WHAT U CAN GET!!! anyways,

Domus Carnis: The Transmutation of Guinevere Manor

idk if you're aware but i have a hyperfix on architectural horror and i DON'T MEAN SCARY GHOSTS AND SERIAL ILLERS IN AN ABANDONED HOUSE I MEAN HAUNTED HOUSES THAT ARE ALIVE THAT IS A METAPHOR FOR PTSD FROM CHILDHOOD TRAUMA ETC ETC!! this story By making it started my whole obsession with the House it's crazy... scary even.. (i recommend you watch jacob geller's video essay about houses) i really do like domus carnis but it's. Messy to say the least. i do feel as if i ought to change the time period it's set in to avoid talking about the wars going on in the time period i accidentally set it in without realising but im procrastinating on that rn. it was Suppose to be late 1800s to early 1900s..

in a few simple words: flesh-and-bone made lesbian sex house. does that get your attention yet. bless

domus carnis (which literally means flesh house in latin or something) will be written in the POV of a 40ish year old widowed woman by the name of harriet wren's diary entries, occasionally switching to the POV of her 20-something year old godson percival who is like old timey jake paul and hes like either a journalistt or a radio host depending if i choose to change the time period or not. we follow them after harriet's husband dies of whatever and they find out he has a large property in a foreign country of which they had not known of prior

somewhere in germany there is a house of ex-aristocrats that no longer live there that is Alive. the House becomes alive because it is in a sense "possesed" (not haunted) the ghost of kathryna von guinevere who was the last one to die in the house, who, in life, was incredibly obsessed with The House for reasons that i fear are too long to explain without boring you and going into info pre-story?? anyways, when she "posseses" the house, the materials of the house shift to flesh, blood and bone because it Materially becomes her body. now, it would be hard to accurately label what represents what body part, because it's all strangely jumbled up and isn't like really human anatomy either cuz kathryna Can in fact see inside herself?? anyways whatever. now, the house is now both her body AND her mind. i have taken the phrase "haunted by memories/trauma" and turned it literal. the house IS haunted, but most of the ghosts aren't ghosts, theyre mostly all manifestation of Memory from her life because she actively is replaying the speech and actions of other people IN her mind to process the (typically traumatic) events of which she's seen or experienced. the ghosts CANNOT do as they please because they only exist at all Due to kathryna remembering them in these specific scenes. the hauntings include scenes of people, sounds, and shadows. unless the "scene" has a mirror, you cannot see kathy directly because you are witnessin things through HER eyes, which makes memories from wee childhood interesting because im wondering if i should make the "people" seem wayy bigger than the viewer if stuff is replayed from childhood..

i really like the fact that a lot of this is based on memory because it opens a lot of doors to me when it comes to the appearance of hauntings. my friend showed me this video depicting neurons forgetting how a face looks like, and i feel as if i could use that in the story because well, realistically kathy isnt going to have a Pristine memory cuz she Was just a human before, not to mention the fact shes already suppose to have issues on facial recognition/rememberance (my friend with these sisues suggetsed htis). the alteration of the ghosts' bodies could be fucked with even more if i try to make use and research into the way that people (mostly children) can in fact like.... change the image of something traumatic in their brain and make it less scary bc the brain is trying to protect them? yeah. AND ALSO the fact that a lot of people forgets certain aspects of their trauma due to their brain trying to protect them as well but still have this feeling of Unease when it comes o specific things that they cant explain, i could incorporate this feeling in certain areas of the House, the strange uneasiness. i experience that myself so i hope ill portray it right!!

i Think that's it?? at least that should be the bare bones of the story... i have a pin board tho if u want to check it out!!

The Epinicium

THIS is the stupid fucking thnag thats ruining my entire life rn. i love it i hate it whagever man. THIS ONE ill keep short and simple because im too fucking mentally ill about it to explain in depth without being asked questions

so basically its fantasy world but not like. Completely new high fantasy i very loosely based the countries off of like real countries and stuff bc lazy as shite so its like mid fantasy maybe HOWEVER

basically its set in this world where theres a shit ton of religions and gods and shit and theres three categories of religions (the world is veyr uhnm. Categorical idk): earth, science and the arts. basically the arts religions are the majority and the gods of those religions are called the muses so thats what i'll be calling them from now on. the basic plot of epinicium is about the muses of the music religion declaring that humanity doesnt treat music as "holy enough" anymore and taking it away as a whole (songbirds go extinct as well which is importnat) which also fucks up the other arts religionsdue to the fact that artforms are very connected but they still exist yk and centuries later our main cast attempts to bring it back!!! we have this server with a channel that has the "summary" but its not a real summary its just an already outdated infodump but we are Trying to fill this doc but we're failing really hard but friendship is magic idk.

fin.

anyways thats. pretty much it i think im sorry its too long once again 😭😭 feel free to ask question esp on the epinicium!! id love to hear abt ur ocs btw ive yapped so much oops

[anxiously-sidequesting]

sometimes i think about the implications of Spider's emotional state of not having his heart (and idk if this was left unclear on purpose or if i didnt get the memo or this wasn't written very well) but from how i remember it... that boy was already FEELIN. bitch had no problem being Hurt with a capital H. Spider was MAD and GIDDY and had insults towards his wife on the GET GO.

so i guess what im asking is, is/should Spider's metaphorical/literal heart being removed make him this Unfeeling Carless monster that murders people or does it simply disorient him and make him forget certain things (like his love for Raven). like i remember that line where he was like "Being near my heart again is making me feel." but. you've BEEN feelin. this could just be me being horrendously autistic so i dont understand the nuanced gray area of feelings but i feel like that dialogue in particular was more indicitave towards Spider's love for his wife rather than feelings altogether.

so this makes me think of an alternate universe where Spider becomes totally emotionally detached, where he escapes from his prison but keeps his Hive personality. this is just me yapping actually so im gonna be like spongebob and throw this into the fire /j

[trainingdummyrabbit]

ayin. i'm curious

one question in and im already having to pull up the cutscene dialogue. god. ok listen this is the most bullyable man in the whole entire world and he makes it so easy, but also I Do Fucking Love This Guy. i need to study him so bad its unreal.

im always a sucker for characters introduced as a "yeah theyre totally a player stand-in dont worry about it ^_^" and then they kick you in the fucking shins halfway through. and he is no exception. i am Notoriously endeared by characters with any amount of weird identity fuckery going on and Jesus Fucking Christ Dude.

the way that he is so solidly rooted in the core of everything that goes down in lobcorp, and yet how certain bits of his attitude and Personality are Wholly lost. how most of what we know of him is through secondhand accounts and recollections, and yet he refuses to let on anything about himself in his own memory of things. his perception revolves entirely around the people around him to a very, Very stark degree. im not sure if its just a side effect of the genre and execution of this story in particular or if im just making shit up, but.

hes not a loud character. something about that in tangent with how he completely splinters himself over and over in conjunction with the things that happened to them, its all very compelling. the way he tackles problems with this sort of analytical distance, unaware of or perhaps intentionally separating his own mess from what he feels he has to do-- while at the same time having it be so inextricably intertwined with Everything. he feels like the type of character to desperately want to simply point a direction and shoot, yet he gets in his own way time and time again, simultaneously on accident And on purpose. avoidant of And conscious of.

ill be real im just kind of spitballing the vague Idea of him in hopes of reaching something concrete. he's so intent on the straightforward "any means necessary," yet he sabotages himself every step of the way. its fascinating. such a strange form of self-destruction.

i wonder how he really feels about everything. how he felt, and then, what exactly it is that changed in him after the SoL project "completion". what exactly did he come to terms with through the course of ruina? was it something new he hadn't the room to process until then, or was it simply an understanding that he'd had for longer than that, that he'd simply never had the mind to voice it?

and then! the way he feels about the rest of the team-- how little he seems to speak of any particular bond between himself and them, and yet (iirc) he has photos of them all up in his office. how much of him is means to an end, and how much is compartmentalization of what he might actually feel? which does he want to be true?

does that cohere? he's such a messy tangle of things that never get spoken-- on purpose and otherwise-- that it makes him so difficult to Actually Read, and yet... and yet! what im saying is that benjamin saw something in him, and that is something worth studying-- not because of doubt, but because of a desire to truly Understand. something about the metaphor between Sun and Shadow, seeing things in the gaps burned between photos. fascinating specimen. i need to put him into a blender.

also hes one of the few characters capable of making me lose it just by seeing his basic png which has to count for something i guess

[kai-rio]

ggy song analysis III - the liar by the arcadian wild

im so normal about this song, the first time i heard it i immediately knew it was super uber ggy coded

(this is a long one so ill put my analysis under the cut)

by the way, i use greg and gregory as terms for different people - gregory for the character in sb, and greg for the persona we see in ggy

i sense theres trouble ahead, clear by the signs and warnings i think gregory would know that somethings up because i mean its probably pretty obvious if you have lots of gaps in your memory, or if he only gets control back for a little while after a long period of greg taking control, then he’d know thats weird too

that should tell where all blame is due, so why are they pointing at my head? this could be read as gregory not knowing the things greg’s done and being confused, if he notices vengeful tony & ellis then he wouldnt know why theyre vengeful

all have been led astray, we’ve all fallen short in some way literally a line in the game omg. but yeah i imagine during the short moments of control, gregory seeks comfort in vanessa and/or the other followers like finbarr or tape girl because he’d know theyre going through the same thing

please understand im ashamed he would feel guilty for greg’s actions once he actually remembers them or is told them by someone else

and i beg of you, please find your grace i think this reads as gregory trying to warn greg’s victims, like tony and ellis, but he’s unable to actually do anything

cause i'm not in a right state of mind, i just wish i had strength to admit it i doubt gregory would accept the idea of being one of the followers immediately and he might have fallen into a state of denial in a way

my stubborness will put up a fight, but i dont deserve to win it however, when he does accept it, he’d feel immense guilt, so much that he thinks he doesnt deserve to be forgiven despite how badly he wants it

we’re left in the dark, pondering our mistakes this could be gregory trying to piece together what happened during his amnesia gaps

in the light i swear i will deny it all i personally think that if gregory was to find out while he was still being controlled periodically, malhare might just try gaslight him into thinking otherwise to make him more compliant

cause i am the lying man, and i have made you my next victim ‘i am the lying man’ sounds like a title, maybe like greg confessing he’s ggy before he eliminates tony. the next victim obviously because the victims before were the therapists and i guess you could even count vanessa since he manipulates her - tony wouldnt be the last victim either, it probably continues on to ellis, crystal and maybe even cassie if gregory never escaped the control fully

oh i need you to see through my act, to tell me im wrong, to take off the mask again, this is about gregory trying to warn tony and ellis about his murderous counterpart, and it could be interpreted that taking off the dr. rabbit mask is a metaphor for freeing gregory, similar to how in the princess quest ending, our first sign that vanessa is free is that her mask has been abandoned

or else ill be left in the lie obviously this about still being trapped under the influence, but i also have another interpretation of this - i think that during the influence, gregory dissociated to an imaginary world where all the bad things didnt happen to cope with what he could remember, omori style

and ill decieve my way straight to demise i know everyone celebrates gregory for being like the first alive fnaf kid in the games but i honestly dont think thatll stay that way for long with how fnaf has a history of dead kids lol

i am the host of this hostility if the ‘wizards favourite apprentice’ line is true and not just greg pretending, then it would make sense for everything to revolve around him - he’s trusted enough to manipulate another follower and carry out a lot of murders so i would think its true. this probably means that gregory is under more surveillance than any of the other followers which would make it more difficult for him to escape

another interpretation of this is a ‘host’ that a parasite uses - this could imply that each of the reluctant followers personas’ arent specific to their body and could just inhabit a new one - this could be disproved by saying that each follower we’ve seen (vanny and greg) have made their names centered around their body’s original inhabitant, but then again that could just be them rubbing it in vanessa and gregory’s faces about their lack of control, or perhaps it was commanded by the mimic1 virus

im the master magician that makes you believe speaking of the mimic, if i remember correctly, there was a room in sb with a bunch of staff bots representing the afton family, and william was framed as a magician if sorts - the mimuc is supposedly mimicing afton, so it would make sense if it called itself a magician

im real, im not fake, but in reality im a lying man honestly i just think greg would be a fan of paradoxes and stuff like that, seeing how he led a trail of breadcrumbs for tony to follow

my lifes become this grand game of deception in gregs eyes, tony could be treating the whole ggy mystery like a game to be finished, a grand game because theres a high possibility of there being way more followers than we realise, already with 4 confirmed ones (vanny, greg, finbarr & tapegirl as far as i know)

my minds ignored all my hearts good intentions his mind because its mind control… yeah - this could also represent gregorys learnt behaviour of closing himself off from others to avoid them becoming another face on the missing posters despite only having goid intentions

we all feel this tension, we all have our own illusions the followers again, i imagine they all have their own ways of coping, perhaps by simply blocking everything out or pretending/dissasociating

[romchat]

following up on my prior ask! i found the luyang arc pivotal for xff and xh (i mean, who wouldnt? we got that beautiful rain scene!), but so much of their conversations confused me because of the way they use metaphors and dance around answers! i apologize if i come off as spamming ur inbox, lol!

some things i wanted to understand more:

-ep 16 tearoom: when xff talks about him inviting her over after every "show" and how what he says is apathetic but always hits the mark and makes her in debt. but now hes showing his cards and asks him if he wants to join?

ep 17 in the rain: when she says "you never tell the truth" and he says "what about you? even after drinking you havent told the truth once" what is she referring to? him i can kinda guess but her? idk!

-ep 17 eating dumplings: when xff offers to invite him to watch a play (her helping the ye family) and he says "i dont watch plays" why is he mad?! lol and why does she respond "if you like these buns and want them in the future, ill settle everything" when he says that when its found out to be a "misunderstanding" who does she think has to take the blame (referring to himself as he would tip them off)

-ep 18 eating dumplings (again): when she asks about how he tried cases in the past and he tells her she doesnt have to make him put up an act before she confesses? where did this come from? did i forget something in the past?? and then even more... "today onward, i am once again despised by everyone" what does he mean? when wasnt he? why does she respond with luyang is beautiful and the night duty is coming??

idk theres so much i think i grasp but then i relisten to it and confuse myself lmao! theres definitely more (like the huixiang pawn speech she had with him) but the luyang parts im most interested in! so sorry that this is so long and such word vomit!! thank you so much if u do take the time to respond! i think you have such a good comprehension and a way with words that seriously has added to my enjoyment of this show SO much more. thank you!!!!!

I welcome all word vomits but oh boy you're really stretching my memory here 😂

Ep. 16 Tearoom

Fangfei is still annoyed at Duke Su because of her jealousy over seeing him with another woman at the brothel in Episode 15. In that episode, she had assumed he was following her to Luyang but then thought differently once she saw him with Wu Lan. I think her calling out his sudden "apathy" is essentially her implicitly asking if their odd little relationship has changed (i.e., why are you acting differently?). Which is why he asks:

Duke Su: Are you getting angry at me? Fangfei: Can't I? Duke Su: Your words are really pleasant then. (smiles)

He just confirmed that she's behaving the way she is because she's jealous, which is why he finds her words "pleasant". So he reassures her by telling her who Wu Lan is even though she has nothing to do with Fangfei's dealings with the Ye family--he's like a husband keeping his wife informed about his struggles at work lol

Ep. 17 In the Rain

He's referring to her real identity as Fangfei (which he's known about for a while but wants to hear directly from her about) and I believe she's referring more generally to all his private dealings, which keeps entangling him in her plots (e.g., General Biao, who they had that drinking competition with).

Ep. 17 Dumplings

This was the day after Fangfei's drunken flirtatiousness in the rain so my guess is that he was fishing for her to reveal her true feelings about him ("does that mean you remember what happened that night?") and he gets frustrated when she friend-zones him by wanting his help for her scheming versus talking about this shift in their relationship. Especially since one of the last times they talked about theater, it was when he tricked her into being his cover during the theater attack and she told that him that she now clearly sees what their relationship actually is. Her talking about the theater after their almost kiss probably feels like taking one step forward and two steps back for him!

But Fangfei's "If you like these buns, I'll settle everything" is ultimately her asking for his help to execute her plan and trying to settle the score. Remember, at this point in the drama, she's always counting how much he helps her so she can pay him back and not have to owe him. (Which is why one of my favorite flirting moments of theirs is in Episode 16 when he swoops in during her drinking competition and tells her that his help won't be put on her tab.)

Ep. 18 Dumplings Part Deux

Oh that's just another flirtatious way of giving Duke Su permission to ask her questions about her real identity! By this episode, he's interrogated her at the nunnery as well as his residence but they're always interrupted and/or she leaves when he gets too personal. She's telling him she's willing to share more about herself because of how much he has helped her up to this point.

I'm not quite sure what "today onward, I am once again despised by everyone" refers to (maybe if the palace finds out how he has helped Fangfei given that I think at this point he knows of Princess Wanning's involvement in Fangfei's death?) but I wonder if Fangfei's night duty comment is her reflecting on how even though she just experienced momentary success there is still a long road of challenges ahead of her. That's why Duke Su reassures her that she's strong and a survivor ("right now, all the lights in Luyang are on. If you were a restless spirit, you would have long been reduced to ashes") and she promises him that she "will live on well."

--

Hope these ramblings were helpful!

[thatneoncrisis]

20 questions for 20 writers!

tagged by @waitineedaname thxx

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

21 works, i feel like thats a healthy number

2. What’s your total AO3 word count?

i have 439,385 words, a very large chunk of that is from We Have Always Lived in the Apartment

3. What fandoms do you write for?

right now its the locked tomb, used to be homestuck, i have some crossovers with the magnus archives and one with john dies at the end

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

We Have Always Lived in the Apartment -- TLT horror mystery modern au

Insert Jesus Allegory Here -- solkat focused continuation of karkats pesterquest route, i NEED my new fics to get more popular than this oh my god

Gehenna the First -- TLT houseswap au with harrow as god

the gap between a tragedy and comedy (in this life its just you and me) -- TLT coffee shop au.

What's Eating Gideon Nav?  -- TLT catholic boarding school horror au

5. Do you respond to comments?

not typically, theres some weird thing with my head where i kind of hate that it counts my comments in the total comment amount. i cant explain it i just dont like how it looks, plus just repeating variations of "thank you!!" feels hollow after a while. im more likely to answer direct questions about the story rather than general commentary i do love talking about my thought process and intentions

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

ok so i cant actually tell you this because none of those fics are Done yet but all you need to know is that i consider all of my TLT fics tragedies to some extent. take that as you will. i dont even Like the word angst really it portends a level of melodrama id like to avoid

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

I'd say its a dead tie between A Brief Lesson In The Occult and Shit. Let’s Build A Fort. i can barely look at these anymore and if you read them and feel compelled to tell me you like them: dont. i can do better now

8. Do you get hate on fics?

never to my knowledge has anyone ever publicly disliked one of my fics. in fact sometimes i dream about someone posting it in their discord group chat and making fun of it because im so curious about what theyd say

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

yes i have. i do it almost exclusively as satire or character analysis as i find like, the physicality of sex to be inherently kind of goofy. liek the second you have to describe a dick or boobs with words the magic is gone it just becomes weird silly looking flesh. so i like focusing on weird and bad sex, unsatisfying or clumsy sex. sex that changes you in no significant way

10. Do you write crossovers?

yes i have. A Brief Disappearance and Statement of David Wong are both TMA/JDATE crossovers and i DID write a homestuck/TMA crossover but its not on my ao3 i guess? odd

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

no? does that happen?

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

i think once someone asked but i have no clue if it happened

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

@notedchampagne is my co producer in all things forever but ive basically written everything myself and they help polish it up

14. What’s your all-time favorite ship?

shiiiiiiite uh. jade/davepeta still means a lot to me. i think there are a lot of really engaging ships in TLT but i always kind of default to griddlehark i just kind of understand them the best

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

eventually SAM and i would like to circle back to our fanventure Therapystuck but we both got really busy with school, work and a general lull in the HS fandom. also maybe someday ill go back to Insert Jesus Allegory Here i liked the direction of the story i just have to get myself back in that headspace. being into homestuck Does something to you, like psychologically

16. What are your writing strengths?

after asking some friends theyve told me im good at tone, prose, funny metaphors, and dialogue but a caveat for the last thing as "I have yet to see how your Own guys talk and how you'd handle distinct voices from scratch so I'm only giving you about 80%"

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

i hate like. writing Around the important bits of a scene. i love the physicality of characters and what it reveals about them, along with pieces of the scene the narration deems important or interesting enough to mention to the audience. but im always worried im jsut fucking yapping. also i hate like, political scenes theres a rhythm to them that i dont quite understand. people sitting around using specific language that Feels important in a way that doesnt make it clear im bullshitting like 99% of what theyre talking about

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

AHAH. GOD. i actually looked this up the other day because theres an original story i want to write where i want to make it clear theyre basically speaking french the whole time, even though its written in english. i only speak english (i took some french in hs, its left me though i want to pick it up again) so i wouldnt know anything about how it reads to polyglots but i guess theres really only so much you can do outside of literally learning a new language just to write a story for free. ive seen a whole host of tips so i gues sit just matters how you employ them

19. First fandom you wrote for?

Homestuck. my only regret is that i wasnt a better writer

20. Favorite fic you’ve written?

FUCK christ uuuuh. favorite right Now would be The Apartment but EVENTUALLY id like it to be Gehenna the First because its the hardest to write and i need it to pay off. if you havent read it uhhh. hi. hello. you should do that. i think its really cool and fun and junk

CHRIST who to tag i dont follow big writers uuuh @tranquilitybasehotelcasino and @accidentallyadorable sure have fun

[askfairyromano]

oooh so you come from a long line of flirts, huh? i cant say that i envy you. i can tolerate a lot, but watching my own grandpa woo women left and right would probably send me over the metaphorical edge. are you any good at it, or do you enjoy it? im sure flirting can come in handy at de-escalating some situations, maybe even helping with diplomacy a bit. and youre definitely lovely enough that it would work easily! i wont pretend like i understand anything youve been through, but i do know that its the most important to find joy when you have demons to face. you need something to hold onto on the days when it feels hard, something grounding and steady that you cant find in another person, only yourself, ya know? you are your own closest friend, its important to cultivate and maintain that relationship as much as it is the ones around you. everyone else can change and grow and leave, but you are you for the rest of your life, so its important to have that comfort and love within yourself. make your body a home or however the phrase goes, ya know? as for the eggs! what? are you neerrrrrvoous~? theyre not dragons or anything, they dont bite. i mean they will eventually, but they dont now. theyre just swans, or, ya know, they will be swans. maybe. they should be swans, if the breeder is to be believed. but who knows! lots of shady businesses popping up. guess youll just have to keep them incubated to find out!

(ghjkjh honestly i didnt even consider the idea until you said pigeon eggs lmao. tbh i had no actual plan for them, i just saw the emoji and i was like huh? phones have egg emojis? sure why not lets send that and see where it goes. tbh my plan for them was either toucans or swans, both bc theyre such absurdly fascinated birds that can be such assholes, and having them sitting at romanos side like some weird guard dog makes me giggle. i hope thats okay, really theyre just for fun, so you can play with the idea as much as you want. congrats on passing your exams btw!!! thats amazing!! you must be so relieved!! you deserved the celebration, im so happy for you!!!!)

[scalproie]

omg plz do 13, 16, and 25 for the violence ask meme on tekken FWKJFK sorry for so much im just interested to hear ur thoughts!!!

13. worst blorboficiation

Objectively, Lee is the "least evil" mishima and congrats to him for leaving (tho forcefully) that fucked up family and yeah his childhood sucked big time and I have to respect the hustle of him rebranding himself into the funny "excellent" flamboyant guy but GOD he somehow successfully tricked everybody into forgetting that he is also very not a good person. I KNOW we are starving for positive relationships in tekken but he is very much as egoistical and self-interested as the rest of his family, kazuya is his brother only by name only and lee not only doesnt care about him nor their father and he would happily throw him or both of them under the bus to get ahead LIKE HE IS DOING NOW BY WORKING WITH LARS AND JIN AGAINST KAZUYA. Lee could not have inherited raw power from heihachi so he got his manipulativeness, sketchyness and charisma, and lets not talk about how the devil gene is alienating both kaz and jin so there is no way lee could even keep up with that. But if he could I really doubt he would still be regarded as the meme man that he is now. I love lee but I feel like the only person that can see smth sinister lurking under the surface thats funny and approachable and even has friends. Thats not a negative btw I love that about lee but the overly kindness I see from people's interpretation of him sometimes take me out. Hes better, but hes still not good, yknow?

(as for mk im just slipping it there bc its fresh in my head, johnny cage holds the really heavy burden of being the only somewhat comical main character in a sea of dramatic people so he is doomed to be mischaracterized I think. Either hes treated TOO seriously and it feels... wrong in a way I cant explain OR he is subject to comical whorification. But thats just me hating fun I guess.)

16. you can't understand why so many people like this thing (characterization, trope, headcanon, etc)

Heihachi has the worst fucking development in tekken 7 it genuinely makes me insane that some people would enjoy this botched attempt of sympathy toward him, all while making fun of his original reasonning like "haha lions dont push their cubs off cliffs" WE KNOW its a traditional asian misconception that even has a name and it makes sense bc heihachi is old school but also ITS NOOOT ABOUT THE LITERAL LION THING ITS A METAPHOR ITS ABOUT GENERATIONAL TRAUMA AND TOXIC MASCULINITY GNGNHGNH and its BETTER than a hypothetical witch trial that makes NO SENSE bc HEIHACHI YOU THREW THE KID SAYING THAT IF HE SURVIVED, HE HAD THE EVIL IN HIM. AND THEN YOU RAISED HIM??? WHAT??? Its stupid. I hope he stays dead goodbye forever funny cockroach grandpa.

(mk break again but you genuinely have to explain 80% of the mk ships to me. Maybe its me being idk, a shipping paladin or smth and took an oath to the One True Pairing or whatever and im now blind to the rest but yeah I dont see the majority of it.)

25. common fandom complaint that you're sick of hearing

EVERYONE SPEAKING THEIR OWN LANGUAGE AND EVERYBODY UNDERSTANDING EACH OTHER DESPITE THAT IS ONE OF THE BEST THING ABOUT TEKKEN. FUCK YOU IF YOU WANT AN ALL JAPANESE OR ENGLISH DUB. ITS ORIGINAL ITS INTERESTING ITS GOOD TO HAVE CHARACTERS SPEAKING ACTUAL FRENCH, SPANISH, PORTUGESE, KOREAN AND OTHER IN A MAINSTREAM VIDEOGAME. FUCK YOU FOREVER IF YOU WANT TO TAKE THAT AWAY OR IF ITS "WEIRD" TO YOU BC ITS NOT REALISTIC, BORING BITCH.

ALSO "NOBODY CARES ABOUT THE PLOT" I DO!!! I DOOO!!! IM NOT GONNA LOWER MY STANDARDS FOR THEM TO MAKE A GOOD SATISFYING STORY JUST BC YOU CARE MORE ABOUT EVO TOURNAMENTS, MICROFRAME DATA, AND IF YOUR WAIFU MAKE IT BACK IN THE MAIN ROSTER.

[camzverse]

CASSIDY MICHAEL AND ROXY!!!!!

YAAYYY

sorry for answering like two weeks late btw 💀💀💀💀 ignore rhattt

(i wanted 2 do all three but like theres practically no canon information about cassidy.. this shit a travesty forreal. like what do we even know about her besides some logbook and ucn stuff. Sighh............ so just mikey n roxy i GUESS)

michaelllll

favorite thing about them: either the way he just watches that little vampire soap opera every night (So silly) or the fact he can draw. his little drawings in the logbook...

least favorite thing about them: him being a little BITCH in fnaf4. he was straiggt up INFURIATING. if i ever encountered 1983 mike its ON SIGHT

favorite line: "he tripped and fell on freddys teeth not our fault" <-ITS SO FUNNY TO ME WHAT IS HIS PROBLEM . that or his whole "i should be dead but im not im going to come find you" speech it was pretty cool tbh. he ate

brOTP: Does he even have friends. wait do him and helpy count theyre so silly. freak corpse father and little toy bear son... im not sure what does and doesnt count as a brotp lmao

OTP: dont really care that much for shipping him but jeremike is soo fun :3 i like them

nOTP: ummm idk i guess just. Not the icky stuff yk. cant really think of anything else

random headcanon: i personally lov the idea that he kinda designed foxy. like he came up w the idea in like a drawing. i think its neat

unpopular opinion: idk exactly how unpopular this is but ive seen a loott of people saying it and. i dont think mike was mean 2 evan bc elizabeth died and he took it out on him or Whatever tf it is people think (i also dont even think she was dead at this point. imo) i think he was just mean bc. he just was mean yk. he just enjoyed being mean to ev and scaring him. as older brothers often do. i just dont think there was some deeper reason i really believe he was just being mean for the sake of fucking w his sibling. side note i dont think he ever wouldve taken it as far as the bite incident on his own i think that was jst a special case bc his bullying was being super enabled by his equally dickheaded friends. ykwim? not like he wasnt at fault he absolutely was but like i think it was a mob mentality kinda thing. if thta even makes sense. Anyway

song i associate with them: cop car by mitski.... something something "i will never die" Also michael afton + dog metaphor makes me insane

favorite picture of them:

he is Lookingg..

roxyy!!!

favorite thing about them: i LOVE her design. and also her personality. shes just a really cool and interesting character as a whole i like what theyve done in creating her. Ok thats not really a fav thing ermm im gonna go w her design cuz it goes so hard

least favorite thing about them: shes a gregory hater and i cannot get behind that !! Sorry queen u fell off

favorite line: def either "sign up today and be a WINNER! nobody likes a loser 🙄🙄" (i love the way she says it its so funny 2 me) or "i remember because you are number one—twice :)" (aww CRIES)

brOTP: do her and cassie count. Theyre everything. i really do not think i am understanding brotp correctly but its not like theres that many options either. whatevr. OOHhhh yk what i really fw roxy-freddy friendship. their dynamic intrigues me....

OTP: also not big on shipping for roxy but i yhink roxica is cutee ^_^

nOTP: umm i have no idea actualky. lmao

random headcanon: she is a #lesbian she kisses girls shes a big fan of women etc u get it. also hc that when kids go in her green room and they play the racing arcade machine she starts backseat gaming them like crazy . shes just mad she cant play the game herself lmao

unpopular opinion: umm i dont think i really have one Question mark.. tbh i feel like people dont talk about roxy that much so im not sure what Is a popular opinion. people should talk about her more shes interesting

song i associate with them: what you waiting for by gwen stefani!!!!! actually bc of that one roxy drawing u made that had that song LOL

favorite picture of them:

shes so cool..

[helloanthy]

Hii

How are you? Hope you're doing good. I want to say that I love your art and it's a huge inspiration for me :D

I also really love your metas! Especially about transmasc Nanami. I was wondering...in this interpretation, what would Tsuwabukis role be in the story? Would Keiko (and the others) still follow Nanami around, or would the 3 spectacles guys be a replacement entourage? Personally I think Nanami is too good for them lol

Also, what do you think of transfem Saionji and (possibly trans) Wakaba? Or Wakaba and Anthy?

Feel free to ignore if you don't want to answer, I just really appreciate your thoughts!

{Slightly off topic, but THANK YOU for your takes on A:TLA. As someone who did enjoy the show when I first watched it, it irks me to no end when fans think of it as the pinnacle of representation. I'm mentally begging them to watch a different show}

Thanks, again!

hello hello ! im alright anon, thank u ! i hope ur doing good as well thank u thank for ur kind words, im happy u enjoy my anthys 💜 to be honest i did not think that far into that AU. canon tsuwabuki ... maybe instead of putting nanami in danger to be more like touga he's nanami TWO ✌🏼 and is what transmasc nanami is to touga ? as in he chooses to emulate nanami as a prince and is still his little stooge ? haha. maybe instead of putting nanami in danger tsuwabuki would set up scenarios that puts other female students in danger in front of nanami for nanami to "save". to show off his princeliness ??? im sure nanami would still get mad if he found that out because its so much trouble hahaha or ... if tsuwabuki is a girl she would come up with schemes to put herself in seemingly mortal danger in front of nanami ? i think nanami could still have aiko keiko and yuuko in this AU. i agree that nanami is too good for those spectacle guys hahaha ... theyr way too boring ... for me .... perhaps the only difference for their motivations being friends with nanami in this AU is that. theyr settling for the lesser brother. similar to canon, how they are friends with nanami for her connection with touga. but thinking about it, isn't this ... a bit sadder though ? transfem saionji & wakaba ... lets take this opportunity to throw wakaba in with juri in the unrequited sapphic storyline club hahaha. iv always liked to interpret wakaba in canon to actually have a crush on utena but is completely unaware of it because of comphet. i do also truly think she had a crush on saionji too so if i had to label her i do think shes bisexual. but i cant help wanting to lesbianise everything can i ? and i think itd be fun ... an explicit love triangle [is it a love triangle if neither saionji or utena romantically love wakaba back 🥲 sobs] between them trans wakaba ... i feel like this would need an entirely different post to be honest. but ... one thought i have. perhaps of nonbinary wakaba. the binary narrative sidelines them because this story is not about that. well ... it IS but not in the way that wakaba is. does that make sense ? metaphor how nonbinary genders are invisible under heteropatriarchy ? while utena is gender nonconforming her gender as she herself states in the show is still binary. i dont know if that explaination makes a difference to anybody reading though. though theres a lot of directions i feel i could go with this. im having too many thoughts about it so im going to need to put a lid on it for now 😅 aaa, lastly, i dont think i really had any "takes" on ATLA ? just that i called it orientalist and that i dont really like it as much as RGU ... surprisingly though, a lot of people disagree with calling it orientalist ? really odd. thats like disagreeing with me saying the sky is black. but i have also learned from others on here that the "casual" definition of orientalism is conflated with anti-asian racism, so i guess i understand ... ? [even still though i do think ATLA has facets of anti-asian racism. but i doubt people who dont even know the origin of orientalism could understand that] also its odd to call ATLA "representation" to me. its not representation at all. well ... i mean. i guess it could be called "asian representation" the same way berserk is "european representation"

[selamat-linting]

There are millions of things that were once considered supernatural that have since been proven as scientific reality. Platypuses, for one.

At some point "I don't believe in the supernatural" becomes "Science has already discovered everything there is to be discovered".

Which is factually incorrect.

One could argue that space aliens are supernatural. They are also incredibly likely to exist, somewhere out in the infinite expanse.

You don't just believe that magic isn't real, you also believe that if something is real it cannot be magical.

In a world where children's laughter exists?

How silly of you.

maybe you should understand the context of what im writing first asshole. in my country, we have faith healers, people who say they can fix a stroke with a massage, people who believe the stars align someone's career and personality, people who claim they can double money with some chants and help from djinns, people who put graveyard soil on their competitors' shop. people who ate convince thousands of severely ill people to stop chemo treatments to drink prayer water. people who collect gemstones and call it magic then sell it to a high price for desperate people down on their luck. and sooo many grifters saying they could speak to the dead. that is the "magic" im talking about. where in the world did i refer to magic as a metaphorical descriptor for something beautiful?

"magic" in my life, is a code for grifters, people using the naivety, desperation, and grief of others to drain them of money, giving them false hope, or worse. you have no idea how many cases of parents that were misled by local witch doctors saying their kids arent actually dead forever in the woods, theyre just taken to the realm of invisible beings and will come back someday. or mentally ill people and neurodivergent kids literally tortured in an effort to exorcise ghosts and bad spirits. spiritual gurus sexually harrassing vulnerable women for cleansing/ritual purposes, or faith healers and mediums who realized they cant keep up the lie anymore so they started killing and raping their clients. do you want me to send you a fucking of all that news stories that happen in my country? my country doesnt need more magical thinking, we need scientific and secular education, and a conscious effort to get rid of those superstitions or else we'll be stuck praying to various entities and magic items instead of actively revolting and working together to make a better country.

also where the fuck did i say science has already discovered everything? im saying im a skeptic, that means i believe everything has a scientific explanation, but that doesnt mean science have already figured everything out nor that its free of criticism. i dont doubt i will die with the knowledge that we only know so little about the universe we might as well call ourselves cavemen.

also where the fuck did i bring up aliens you freak?

forgive me for assuming but, let me guess : you skim read my personal post and instantly paint me as a stuffy skeptic bro who adheres to reason and hates whimsy despite barely knowing me or my life. youre shadowboxing over someone you created in your head but youre convinced youre fighting me. well i may be wrong so i apologize beforehand

but anyway, i hope youre just a stranger who never reads this reply. if youre not, then you really should have read my pinned post before deciding to follow my blog or be my mutual. i already write it down there that im critical to any form of magical thinking and supernatural bullshit. leave my fucking blog if you cant handle it.

but no matter who you are, i hope you got scammed by a faith healer and had a botched suicide attempt after realizing youve fucked up your entire recovery process and lost all of your money and potential. or yknow what, cut the middle man. just kill yourself tonight. youre into magic right? you believe in those signs of the universe and lucky numbers stuff? cmiiw but if its true i hope you know that this is a sign from the universe to kill yourself.

[gothmods]

Finished dunmeshi vol. 13 and now am left trying to string together everything the story has to say on hunger and desire

Admittedly im not great at metaphors... im better when what im analysing is straightfoward...

Will probably feel clearer in my thoughts when i read the final volume which may not be for a while since volume 13 only just released in english

But its interesting to me how the demon tries to prey on laios' hatred of humans because the thing is i dont think he actually hates humans. I think in his deepest desires they are still there.

I think he has haboured a lot of resentment and guilt and its true that he finds monsters more interesting. But from the beginning of the story we are made to contemplate the balance of ecosystems, the balance of meals but also of the foodchains that supply them. And laios cares a lot about that... i think part of why he likes monsters when others dont is because he sees them as living things that help make up that whole system. Like the people who care about wasps and rats and other 'undesirable' things.

So i think he means it when he says that fantasing about monsters attacking a village was when he was just a kid. If the main theme in dungeon meshi is the balance of appetite/desire, then i think for laios that has meant learning to balance how he felt about people with what he knew of their place in the natural world.

He is very bad with people but i have no doubts that he understands them perfectly as animals, its the rest of it all that trips him up. Theres sonething very autistic about that i think. Being able to look at people as one living thing in a system of living things but stumbling over human-specific behaviours. In that sense too i wonder if part of his envy of monsters is that he views their existence as more straightfoward, as more animal...

Which like, kind of makes his desires the balance to the views of humans or certainly of humans under the influence of the demon that they can control and overcome those systems.

So i guess my main reading of it is i dont see it as condemning desire but looking at it as something that like all things exists in a balance.

Which i mean i guess that is pretty on the nose given the demon also represents the idea of infinity...

I dont even think it wholeheartedly condemns selfishness... true the selfishness and insatiable appetite of the demon is the catalyst for like everything. But its also laios and co' s selfishness in their desire to bring back falin that kickstarts the downfall of the demon so

Much to consider

[merlions]

Ok so Can I Just Ask rhetorically into the air (unless someone has an answer lol I would not say no if anyone offers insight here, im just not specifically asking for it cause i dont know for sure an answer even exists i guess) but when everyone tells u to "feel your feelings" likeee....then what?

Like I keep getting the advice esp in recovery that I gotta "feel my feelings" and "recognize your feelings" but then when I'm like ok. Im doing it. I'm having a panic attack and throwing up from guilt and shame. What do I do about that. And they're like "oh no just feel them!!!"

(Also "shame is bad but guilt is constructive" OKAY. SO JUST feel DIFFERENT feelings? Than the ones I have. Hrrrghhh)

Like I feel like I missed some regular human memo here like there's supposed to be something I Know what to do but I don't know what it is.

Tbh it's the same feeling I get when people keep telling me to like believe in spirituality things or else I won't be able to stay sober. I keep being like so...how do I do that? Like how does it matter to me if there's a god, if also there's literally no guarantee that god won't do something terrible for some "greater purpose" and i cant change that? Like you want me to feel safety from that? All this bad stuff was planned by someone? How does that make it feel less bad? (What sort of sicko- )(sorry lmao I didn't realize I had anger issues w god til I was told I have to actually believe in one)

I keep asking people to describe to me what exactly it means to believe in something spiritual, to them, as if I am a human being who was born blind and never seen color, and they need to describe why some colors are "happy". Or like i'm an alien who has never eaten food and you gotta explain how something can taste "salty". I know that's not the best metaphor and is kinda appropriative of other disabilities that I don't have, but I just mean like can someone try to get SORT OF creative with trying to put this in context for me??? Cause just saying "just do it!!" absolutely does nothing for me! It doesn't make sense. Teaching a human being how to fly by saying "just move your body through the air to where you want to go". Honey. I do not know how. And I cannot learn how via this method. It is not going to work no matter how many times you say it. You are going to have to try something else.

Anyways some shit happened that's ultimately fine and I know WHY I'm having bad feelings and it's not a resolvable situation really, the thing has happened and it can't un-happen, and like I know I'm getting angry cause I'm embarrassed and upset w myself, and that they're not at fault and ultimately it is really truly for the best and actually makes my life better in the long run and I was nice about it and so were they. But like...I'm still angry and sad and embarrassed. Knowing why I feel bad doesn't make me not feel bad, it just makes me angrier with myself for not being able to control it.

And I don't want to feel it cause it hurts and there's nothing I know how to do about that besides drink. Which I am not gonna do, to be clear, but I think is understandable in a recovery space, that we are all alcoholics cause we never learned to deal w feelings any other way. All the advice from my counselor and sponsor and everyone these past 9 months of recovery has mostly just been "try to identify your feelings and feel them". Like I do literally nothing but hyperfixate and ruminate on feelings if im not numbing them and trauma splitting...if I'm not supposed to numb them out I'm Just Going To Need A Bit More Information. Yknow?

[mikarchive2]

shits and giggles aside i think kuro is genuinely fun to overanalyze and girlblog about if you give it a chance, like whenever i talk about the dog motif / unusual predator × prey dynamic / consumption as a sexual metaphor i dont feel like im forcing it, it IS all in there. the problem of course is that 90% of the time it is what you would call 'unbelievably fucking cringe' and while im pretty good at looking past that (i like heavy-handed overdramatic stories, why lie. its all camp to me) i totally understand when people arent lol. i dont know where im going with this i guess was supposed to be subtle kuro propaganda but i just realized that if someone told me they tried it because of my posts i would probably kill myself out of embarrassment so actually. forget it. just know that ive had worse hyperfixations 🤦‍♀️