#went amnesia route

[sl33py-g4m3r]

OCs from SMT IV that I accidentally created; or 2 but I’m only working on 1 currently I think. Fleshing him out more~~

Is what the larp is, lol. Accidental creation of characters.

Don’t have names for them yet tho.

One is someone from the monastery who’s somehow got access to this site and posts occasionally.

The other is a prentice samurai who completed a mission and unfortunately is now in the infirmary unconscious; with their soul somehow being isekai’d to our world somehow.

Whether he’s just a ghost or can interact with things physically around him is unknown at this time. How it happened is also unknown. Hopefully his soul returns to Mikado once more ~~

Rip new recruit. Shall he meet his end henceforth?

Still with all his equipment, gauntlet, and everything, except his memories of his fellows or what a samurai even is. Hadn’t determined whether he can still use the gauntlet to summon demons in our world or use any magic, or it’s simply cosmetic as he was wearing them in naraku and when he collapsed… remembers not of demons or magic…

Appears if at all, as a transparent figure of himself. Unsure to him if anyone can even see him or what happened. Finds interest in all the ‘magic’ he gets to witness in our time. Or relics as he would’ve known in Mikado.

Hopes to remember who he is, what the gauntlet is for and can do, and where he came from. In hopes that he can eventually get back to help his fellow samurai in Mikado. If he remembers that is.

Now he just has the vague feeling he’s missing and lost something deeply important; but knows not what nor whom. And is saddened by it~~

Thought it was a cool idea but now it sounds really stupid ~~~ as there’s nothing there that could possibly just do that to ones soul while leaving the body unconscious and not actively dying…. But suspension of disbelief I guess… magic doesn’t need to make sense in our world I suppose ~~~

Calling my own ideas and fantasies dumb… unbelievable… it’s supposed to be fun even if it seems stupid ~~~

Wanted to larp for fun but accidentally created characters instead….

For once creative post instead of an ‘I’m anxious darn you anxiety stop ruining my fun’ posts. A creative positive post??? Unbelievable ~~!!! lol.

Hope this is my own thought and I didn’t accidentally steal this from somewhere else cause I’m always afraid I had. Cause there’s an occult saying: “there is nothing new under the sun” so I might’ve picked it up somewhere but maybe I’m just overthinking my own creativity here…

How tf would a 1400’s society keep someone in a coma alive in the infirmary? Of course demons are a thing so…. Who knows…: are his fellows worried sick or too busy on missions to care that he’s vanished from this world? Is thee one that has a crush on him and fails to do missions in the hopes he wakes? Or does Hope make him do missions regardless?

Edit: fixed ‘for motions’ to ‘on missions’ as that’s what I intended to type. Stupid typo

[adviserbylove]

THEY COULD NEVER MAKE ME HATE YOU TOMA!

[duoduotian]

think i'm officially done w/ caramia's routes, time to start kyrie's route on my next off

[spectruminterests]

When you're both you get a double whammy

[kawareo]

Thank you lovely people for giving me a chance to ramble more about something (this is genuine, i mean no shade)

I find it really cool how every character has a parallel with Durge! In general every single romance pairing has reasons for why i think "yeah i could see them being good together", but I love those for Durge especially since I think about Durges way too much

Gale. Prodigy, Chosen of a God(ess) with a relationship that went far past god/Chosen, with him and Mystra being 'lovers' and Durge and Bhaal being 'family'. They were also both groomed to a degree to fulfill a role and have since fallen from grace of their gods.

Lae'zel. Raised in what is essentially a cult, having her entire world fall apart when she learns the truth about Vlaakith and Orpheus (while Durge's world falls apart when they learn about who they are in act 3). Cult has harsh and merciless punishments for those that disappoint, with death and beatings for githyanki and... Well. You know what, for Durge (looking at you, deleted bad ending).

Shadowheart. Having an equivalent of an electric collar on you that her God(ess) can punish her with (for Durge, that punishment isnt so immediate but Bhaal can literally stop their heart if he wants to). Amnesia. Having to choose between leading your cult or leaving everything you thought you knew and being an outcast. Depending on what you do with Shart, they also both kill their parents.

Karlach. Having your body changed without your consent, in drastic ways that you have no control over; the engine for Karlach, lobotomy + Slayer form for Durge (slayer in a more minor way but i will say that even in evil route you dont get a say whether or not you transform the first time). They both hurt people that get close to then without meaning to. They both have someone more powerful who sees them as property. Also, ties to Gortash.

Wyll. Daddy issues! And being rejected and outcast by your Father, wanting to prove yourself that you're still worthy. They were also both given shitty fucking names by their dads. They both at some point chose between power at the cost of freedom and freedom at the cost of literally everything; Wyll when he made a deal with Mizora, Durge at multiple points through the game when it comes to Bhaal. They both struggle with being tied to an evil, manipulative being that wants them isolated and weak and alone. Similar with Karlach, unwilling body modification, but specifically one that turns you into a 'monster'.

Astarion. 'Father'. 'Siblings' that you are in constant and brutal competition with, for momentary approval of your Creator who will never have enough of anything short but the world. Creator who's end goal very much includes you dying for him. Having no bodily autonomy as your Creator can literally violate your mind whenever. Sexual abuse. Struggling with bloodthirst! Your existence itself is violent, you can't live without hurting someone! (Bloodthirst for Ass, Urges for Durge)

Halsin. (Potential) guilt for something you have done, being pushed in a leadership position (Halsin at the grove, Durge with companions) that you may or may not be unsuited for. Being so, so alone, without anyone to care for your feelings. They both also have sides of them that they sometimes can't control, with the Bear and Urges, or more literally, the Slayer.

Minthara. A proud and efficent warrior that got one upped by a person they underestimated. Ties to Orin. Living as someone with the highest social status in a brutal, cruel society. Fanatic worship of an objectively evil god(ess) and then the betrayal that follows, waking up from quite literal brainwashing, seeing how your God(ess) turns against you.

And I could go on! Theyre all so good and interesting and depending on what path you decide to take, there is always something that Durge can relate to on with any companion! I tried to avoid repeating points or talking about my Durge specifically by just talking about what is set in canon for them, and there is still! So! Much!

[chizu117]

Romancing the Emperor on a redeemed Dark Urge is the most hilarious route in the game when you look at it from Gortash's POV.

Imagine:

The weird ass Actual Alien Creature you went through great pains to enslave because it was eating your goons escapes, and a few months later it shows up again and it's rounded up a posse to kick your ass, one of which is your bestie who now has amnesia and has rejected the god that made them. The monster then proceeds to FUCK your bestie, who is now in love with it, has them blow up your foundry, and then kills + robs you.

The disrespect 📈📈📈

[shifuto]

come here for a second while I psychoanalyze the Sargasso episodes

this is mostly about Astral, but there will be things about Vector and Yuma too (screenshots from episodes 96 to 98)

Vector was terrible, but he was right

if you don't think too deeply about it, you might miss this whole macabre undertone in Astral's very existence

so.. we don't get to know Astral and Yuma are the same person until the last episodes. Their Zexal morph is a very good hint though!

some points to take into consideration regarding them:

Yuma and Astral's relationship is borderline co-dependent (even more so on Yuma's side, considering his age and attachment style);

Astral was shoved on Earth and forced to stay by his side, risking his own life to recover the Numbers. Yuma's dad was the one who set that in motion by modifying Astral's "programming" and giving Yuma the Emperor's Key - that Astral himself gave Kazuma - and the Key set Astral "free" but causing his amnesia;

the fact that they have been one person is not the problem. Now that they are separated, they have lives of their own. Is it "fair" or "right" to mingle those lives, feelings and experiences into a sole unit again though? What happens with their own singular existences?

2 halves of 1 whole means they're both "incomplete"...... or are they?

Astral never had any will of his own. All this time, he's been bound by his mission. I don't think he's "emotionless" because he's from Astral World (plenty of people there as emotional as humans), it's probably because he is a weapon

he learned a lot of typically "positive" emotions through living around humans - more indirectly, by observing and watching in general; and also directly, thanks to Yuma, his friends and family - and, although, he had also experienced typically "negative" emotions, those were quickly shutdown, resolved or reframed

what Vector did, when he planted those seeds of discord, was to get Astral to face those "negative" emotions without any immediate way to diffuse them

what happens when an individual that is supposed to remain pure and impartial, keeping his feelings in check and using neutrality as much as possible, is driven into an emotional corner? What happens when this individual is pushed to experience conflict - and a very harsh one at that - when he's never had the tools or expertise to deal with it, since he was never really allowed to feel it?

Vector calls for Astral's "free will" knowing he had little to none at that point

his manipulation succeeded because, as Astral was the pillar of support in his relationship with Yuma, and Yuma was unstable with the whole betrayal drama - which, ironically, he also did to Astral, although it was more of a "lie by omission" - Astral did not have anyone close enough (other than Yuma) to support him, and Yuma was now a "liar"

Astral was alone, what a mess!

yes, Astral could have simply brushed it aside and thought about it rationally like he always does, conflict resolution is one of his specialties after all, and it works wonderfully when you're able to put emotions aside and use solely logic

in the end of the day, he would understand why Yuma did that, he would take Yuma's point of view, personality and own issues into account, and he would forgive him - as he did anyway!

he would have not looked into himself though so... Vector asking those questions was maleficent in essence, due to his intentions, but it also served to make Astral face his feelings

and Astral breaks, of course he does

...

one thing that really bothers me now, going through these scenes again with a different mind and thoughts, is how they handled Astral after: everything went "back to normal" and when something similar would happen again - Astral imbued with Number 96's Chaos that other time - Astral went the self-sacrifice route (probably part of his "programming", if I were to guess) as he always have done. Little to no regards to his own self

again and again and again he just pushes himself into neutrality and completing a task - hell, he can't even feel anything that isn't the most wholesome and healthy emotions without that throwing him for a loop, with a risk of him going berserk again, who even knows?

also greatly dislike how feelings of anger, being betrayed, sadness and hurt, are painted as "evil", literally

that is the whole premise of Chaos as the "enemy" after all: while Astral World is "pure" with only "acceptable" emotions, Barian World accepts the full scope, focusing on the sadness, the hurt and the anger.. understandably so

this scene is fantastic and really hits the nail on the head:

yes, Astral, Yuma did something terrible

many other terrible things too

you didn't get angry, how could you? After all, Yuma didn't mean it!

there we go: Vector played him like a fiddle

he knew exactly where to go and what buttons to push - for both Yuma and Astral - and he absolutely nailed it

even though it was the Barian power who caused them to split and Astral to lose control. That power is Chaos, it's all these "negative" emotions Astral literally cannot feel fully because they are fatal to him

what's really interesting though? This is his own inner voice:

it was the first time we heard Astral talk to himself like that - notice how deeper it sounds, much like Number's 96 voice (96 would be Astral's Chaos counterpart, I guess)

and then finally...

oh, now this is fun

I can see 2 things here:

Astral wants to become whole and/or

this is pure power lust (since he is stronger as Zexal)

this scene with Yuma bothers me a little but I get it: they're the same guy and Astral is an alien so it makes sense that Yuma would be able to "access" his heart, now... what he does, although it's a very "Yuma thing", also gets on my nerves but we'll get there when we get there...!

his own words - with a nudge from Vector, of course - man, this was so satisfying to see! Astral recognizing his own feelings, his own pain, not having to immediately make peace with it and just...... feeling these emotions

that's growth, baby!

I also love how he experienced splitting (black and white thinking): can't feel bad emotions at all -> can only feel bad emotions. And hyperbole, over-generalizing: "I can't believe in you anymore."

goodness, I love the immediate change in his tone when Yuma calls out to him: he's back using his soft monotone voice, tinged with a bit of curiosity

and he slowly...

... descent into madness...

... as he speaks about his feelings. I dare to say this was the most expressive Astral has ever been (and it's a shame we don't get to see such huge variety in his facial and body expressions for the rest of the show)

Astral goes back and forth in his exchange with Yuma here: a soft tone when answering directly to Yuma's feelings, just to be swept away by his own frenzy again

it's a really lovely contrast, and I wonder if it was on purpose? Even when lost within himself, he still directs gentleness towards Yuma; even when his very words bring Yuma to tears, he does it kindly.. sort of

we love to see it! And it was power lust after all

now.. let's talk about Yuma a bit, shall we?

Yuma is stubborn

that's kind of.. his whole gimmick with his "kattobingu" and everything. He will get what he wants with the power of friendship and being obstinate to the point of annoying. Unsurprisingly, it does work well for him! He managed to change and befriend, virtually, all characters he have met who showed any kind of animosity towards him or someone else

the flip-side is that he will not take "no" for an answer, will he? Like how he managed to break Ryoga in, by being extremely persistent on wanting to be friends...

... or when he jumped off a window to get Astral to stop

he will see the "good" in everyone and he will push his ideals and kindheartedness with no regards for the other person's wishes. It's really bothersome because it's genuine

too much of "too good" can be very toxic though and, ironically, Astral's predicament is good proof of that. But how can he blame Yuma? How can anyone blame him at all?

he did what was "right" in his heart and had no ill-intent. His naive nature makes him extremely easy to manipulate and he can be driven into corners having to make hard choices he will not be able to make (such as which friends will he be able to save? So many of his foes exploited this very weakness of his)

...

at last, forgiveness:

... and we're back to the "good" X "evil" dichotomy...

this is precisely why Astral World is dying (but they will only realize that later in the show), and why the Barians are trying so hard to save their own world: the "villains" are trying to survive, and the "heroes" are imposing their own wishes over everyone else - how ironic, considering the protagonist and main "hero" is famous for doing exactly that aha!

so the lesson to be learned after all this:

yes, that's the point!

this is a good thing, actually. Astral is capable of experiencing emotions, all of them! He grew and he became stronger than before, this is why they managed to evolve their Zexal form

to me, this was a massive step in completely "separating" Astral's existence from Yuma's, meaning: Astral existing as his own person

unfortunately, the show did not explore that development much further, and like I said earlier, everything went "back to normal" in a way or another

I guess.. uhh... it was probably good that Astral went back to Astral World in the end, after all. He was in his own world, not bound by Yuma or the Emperor's Key anymore, and he was living his own life independently

and an addendum: while Zexal 1st was more alike Yuma, Zexal 2nd was more alike Astral! Probably because the scales were tipping to his side more, due to everything that has happened. I think it's interesting and makes me wonder how Astral would look like as a "human" (2nd looks close enough to me)

also big shoutouts to Mizael for hating Vector's gut. Me too, mate, me too LMAO

Vector is probably the most intelligent character in this whole show, he was written brilliantly and the fact that he doubles down and keep on "betraying" people, just makes him so much more interesting

he is vicious and remorseless, and these are some of the things that make him such a wonderful villain. You really get to see him and his fiendish mind shine in these episodes

...

if you read until here, congratulations! You are very cool yay <3

[aokozaki]

The whole "Ragnarok spell check 'corrected' to Kangaroo" translation mistake is a classic and all, but there's another similar example of an all time classic editing error worth talking about.

The Visual Novel Ever17 ~ The Out of Infinity features two protagonists observing the same events, as a group of people gets trapped in an underwater theme park.

(It's by writers who'd go on to make Zero Escape or Root Double, and much of the rest of the team went on to do the Science Adventure series at MAGES.

To a modern audience, Ever17 might seem really slowly paced and meandering, but that's because the Infinity Series it's a part of shows a fascinating transition from "romance VN with sci-fi elements" to "straight sci-fi VN", an important stepping stone for the genre.

Ever17 is slow, but the true ending picks up the pace as it interrogates all the lingering threads from the character endings. Anyway...)

One of the two protagonists is a young boy with amnesia, who doesn't even remember his own name. One scene early on both routes has the gang decide to give him a name, for convenience, suggesting several names from previous protagonists of VNs from the same developer, as a little easter egg.

None of them stick, and so the group collectively shrug and decide to just call him "shounen".

Now, E17's translation was a bit of a rush job, with the translator not having enough time for a proper level of polish and care (lines like "naturally I knows the hacker" come to mind), and this lead to a hastily done case of find-and-replace making its way into the released version.

We know that in an earlier draft of the translation, "shounen" was translated as "youth". This both reads a little weirdly in English and missed the intended punchline. Thankfully, before release, they spotted it:

They try the names of several previous protagonists of the developer's VNs, before shrugging and going with "shounen".

Ever17 was developed by Kindle Imagine Develop, or KID for short, so the joke is they should be calling him "kid". Like, y'know, "hey kid", or whatever. With limited time, the translator found "youth" and replaced it with "kid". There, all done, that shouldn't cause any problems.

The find and replace tool used for this game somehow didn't take spaces into account.

Lines like "what do you think?" become "what do kidink?" Phenomenal.

[teecupangel]

Ok, I'll be honest and say I'm scratching the bottom of the barrel as I'm running out of fandoms to throw Desmond in. So, we've had multiple FE ideas, but not Awakening yet. How do you envision the story playing out if Desmond showed up? (Either being found with Robin or when the Future Kids come back to the past.)

I feel like putting Desmond next to Robin when Chrome and the others find them together might muddy the whole ‘Robin has amnesia’ thing and Desmond would have to deal with the fact that (1) he doesn’t know Robin at all and (2) people keep assuming that since they were found together, there must be a connection.

So we’re going a different route and Desmond is found by the river a few months since the end of ‘act 1’. This way, Desmond would have a bit of time to connect with the team in a more or less peaceful situation.

Desmond remains with them because he was found in the same place that Emmeryn fell and some people believe that he might hold a clue to why they haven’t found Emmeryn’s body at all. Desmond doesn’t feign amnesia, instead actually saying that this isn’t his world.

And they believe him because this is a world where magic exists so why not?

So when Act 2 officially starts, Desmond is part of the Shepherds because he’s gotten close to them.

Then Lucina talks to Desmond after she becomes part of the team and tells him that he was summoned by someone she trusted in the bad future she came from.

To be more exact, there was someone who came to their world and helped them travel back in time in exchange for helping him pull Desmond into their world when they travel.

The plan was for Desmond to appear with their benefactor but it seemed that something went wrong and Desmond appeared in another place instead.

Lucina believes that he appeared near where a relative of hers was because her blood was used to pull Desmond from his world before he died. According to Lucina, her blood was necessary for reasons unknown to even her.

(If we go for chrobin route, it’s because Lucina has the blood of Grima running through her veins as Robin was the vessel of Grima. Grima is their connection because Grima is what is the most similar to an Isu, Morgan’s blood was not used because Lucina would not allow her younger brother to bear the pain of being used as part of the summoning ritual)

And the name of their benefactor?

He only told them to call him ‘Clay’.

[oneknightstand-if]

Wait, how did that other anon get that flavor text about the whisper with a amnesiac secret MC? My guess is that's not available for the public demo atm? But I'm so so curious now as someone who's playing that route.

Since it included the code itself, I would think they went code-diving through the game for that. Also, that flavor text is ooooold.

It's part of the original update when the game was first released and uses the old (secret = "amnesia") coding (which I got tired of pretty quick and shortened to just "liar" in more recent sections.

[sl33py-g4m3r]

this turned from a larp into a full blown kind of SMT IV OC writing thing~~

and now I don't know what direction to take.... which is sad cause I feel like I'm hurting my own creativity cause I've got ideas up there~~ perhaps it would be good anyway if there was an accidental contradiction or something somewhere.... it's a fun blog thing not a mystery novel...

I've got ideas but idk where to go.....

do I write about how the prentice got injured and turned up in the infirmary? who found him? does/would he even remember that in arrival of our world? I wrote the last one like he wouldn't and just be confused... but maybe there's pain of an injury or wound that vaguely reminds him of his fate?

who found him? was it the friend whom waits with baited breath for him to awake? whom goes on missions if he has to; but is so worried about his friend that he just sits by his friends infirmary bed when he's not on mission, eating, or asleep? does he even eat or sleep much; or is the worry about his friend almost all consuming?

what happened anyway? close call with a demon? he killing it before being badly wounded as a result? or perhaps simultaneously with the finishing blow? leaving a trail of blood unknowingly as the adrenaline from the spat was still high and he didn't realize he was injured? tried to go to the barracks to rest, as he was exhausted but collapsed before he got there?

or his wake up and confusion in our own world? wondering who could see him if anyone can.... or if Burroughs and the gauntlet still work if he isn't a total amnesiac of course. but the first thing I wrote stated that he was~~~

this turned from a larp for fun into a writing for fun, and maybe throw some larp inn there as well...

I still don't have names so this might get confusing for a while until names are given.....

a bit more (attempt at) world and character building before sleep~~

edit post cause I don't want to make an entirely new post for a random thought just yet~~

If he could take damage in our world; would that be reflected in his body in Mikado? or vice versa? of course if the wound he got in naraku actually hurt him in our world then the answer would be yes...

enjoy my cluster f of writing ideas while I try to flesh out an OC I accidentally created because interesting~~

enjoy the oc rambling as I try to flesh him out more~~ hope this isn't cliche or stupid sounding~~~

I like making characters in my head but never post them much....

[lover-of-mine]

Anna!!! Any greys thoughts now the season has finished?? 💚

Hi baby, okay, I have thoughts but first I need to say I'm obsessed with the rep of people attracted to multiple genders, Teddy, Amelia, Mills, the peds lady, and the way it's never a big deal, let's gooo love that. But yeah, the last two episodes kinda make the season worth it kapaksoska I love the fast paced drama, I was never big on Catherine, maybe because I really love April and I hate the way she handles the situation when they find out April was pregnant during the divorce, but she really pushed it too far. Firing Meredith, Amelia, Teddy AND Owen is nuts, the chief of surgery, neuro, and trauma on a power trip? What????? Very interested in how that's gonna go especially with Bailey threatening to quit for Lucas. Kinda weirdly invested in the interns drama, the way they keep trying out different pairings, Mills and Yasuda almost kissing was something, I was on the edge of my seat lol, more backstory on Kwan, I'm surprised the fiance is alive but with amnesia, with the way they made him talk about it, I just assumed she was dead, which I guess was kind of the point, but of course greys was gonna go the more over the top route lol, Lucas proving he has the Shepherd brain all tied together with Amelia's empathy was amazing, but can someone address his ADHD again please. Simone needs to stop. Even more with the way she keeps pingponging Lucas. It's not her decision to keep him there and yes, he deserves the recognition for what he learned from his mistakes, but the opportunity with Maggie is too good to pass on for a hospital that's falling apart lol I like the way Amelia and Owen's friendship evolved to that moment of confidence in her, didn't think he had it in him kapakapakaa also LOVED him standing up for Teddy, Teddy and Owen as a relationship and a friendship is all very realistic, I think, I love how their marriage works, even more now that the show remembered they were supposed to be best friends. I am intrigued by Jo deciding to hide the pregnancy, I know they had the kids conversation and Link told her he's not ready, but this is not a hypothetical child anymore and they were doing so well with the communication, I guess they need a conflict. I was surprised Ndugu and peds lady (sorry I can't remember her name to save my life kspakapa) I saw it coming when they were at the bar but it was still surprising kskapakpakaoa. Overall, I think it was a very solid season finale event, the pacing was nice, we were getting a good amount of drama, the surgeries were interesting, it all elevated the season in my opinion. I still don't think it's an amazing season, but it went from just being there to nice, which is a win kspskspskspkaa what about you? Give me your thoughts.

[is-this-plural]

Another character I was thinking of was SUNNY from OMORI.

I will mention a plethora of OMORI spoilers

As a result of experiencing an insanely traumatic event at a younger age, he formed an imaginary "headspace" and forgot almost everything about what happened, pretending the trauma never occurred. Throughout the game, he (you) try and learn what is actually going on, what is real and what is not, and what happened during that tragic incidenr. What he went through definitely sounds like dissociative amnesia to me.

As a result of his trauma, in order to ignore it and survive, he also formed an alternative version of himself (I assume involuntarily), OMORI. Whilst OMORI is not too different from SUNNY, while SUNNY is in some way OMORI, he's also... Not? As in, near the end of the game, they face each other in a fight, so obviously there are conflicting ideals and motives going on that separates them. (and during that fight, the soundtrack called "ALTAR" is playing, directly implying that OMORI is, in fact, SUNNY'S altar.)

SUNNY actually developed/created/turned into OMORI for defense-mechanism purposes. Again, whilst they have near-identical personalities, OMORI is definitely more powerful, he's also practically allowed to do whatever he wants, in drawings he drew he's presented as some form of GOD, he stabs things/people he doesn't like with a knife,

(at one point in the game, when sunny is out in the real world, he at one point STABS HIS OLD FRIEND WITH A KITCHEN KNIFE, completely forgetting that THAT IS NOT socially acceptable behaviour outside of his headspace)

OMORI is also named after his sister's MARI's (the one he accidentally killed...) piano brand. (Ok, actually, design-wise he was named after the term "hikikomori"meaning severe social isolation, but I'm speaking lore-wise). One could assume it is because he sometimes felt as if she played more attention to the piano than him? Or cared more about perfecting her practice for the play than his growing anxiety ...? So, as a way to cope with that as well, he would become something, or someone his sister would love the most. (His sister always loved him though, and I'm pretty sure he knew that, but heck if I know)

In the real world, once SUNNY (after years of having not been outside) goes outside, he's still, obviously, very confused, and I feel like he confuses his identity as SUNNY with his identity as OMORI. (Like with the stabbing thing I mentioned sometime earlier.)

OMORI, in many ways, wants to protect himself, and SUNNY. But he doesn't want to face the truth, that is exactly because of the aforementioned. But SUNNY needs to face the truth to carry on. And, in fact, at the end, if all goes well, SUNNY even WANTS to face the truth. But this is only after he beats OMORI, who disagrees with him, and wants him to DIE after recovering memory of the truth, of what he did to MARI. because while SUNNY may, with incredible strength and support, be capable of fighting through his struggled, OMORI can't, and doesn't view SUNNY worthy of forgiveness or living.

OMORI tried protecting him by making up an imaginary world full of his (somewhat changed) friends, MARI fully safe and guarded, and no school or parents. Which implies several things but I think I might be going on off topic.

So, depending on where he is, whether in the real world or in his own made-up one, he's either SUNNY or OMORI. But there's another thing

In the OMORI route, (the one where he simply refuses to go outside and participate in or exchange conversation or interactions with his friends), at one point, after a while of denying the truth, denying change, when he looks at the mirror, instead of seeing SUNNY (who he's supposed to see in the real world), he sees OMORI, and after that, you start playing as OMORI in the real world. Interesting to me, personally.

Another thing is that OMORI is younger than SUNNY. Permanently 12 years old (if we judge this speculation by the fact that he is noticably shorter than SUNNY). I've heard different alters may differ in age in people with DID, and that is exactly the case

In short, SUNNY might have DID because he became OMORI to survive through his trauma, definitely underwent a form of dissociative amnesia making him completely forget about the traumatic incident (among other memories) in order to protect himself (before recovering them in a deeper space in his head, the BLACK SPACE where all his suppressed emotions reside), SUNNY and OMORI are different alters because, while having similiar personalities, they have opposing/differing motives by the end, and my boy needs therapy

Sorry if I come off as snobbish or alien-like in my speech, I don't mean to indicate that type of tone while speaking, it just happens sometimes

I also apologize if I didn't explain anything properly, or forgot to mention something, or said something wrong

So do you see him as being plural / having DID / ? (I'm not sure which is the best term to use)

Rating: plural!

[ahsokathegray]

A Remedy for Memory || Part Two

Pairing: Rexsoka

Prompt: Rexsoka Monthly Jan. ‘24 - Accidental First Kiss

Summary: One simple fall causes a certain commander to fall in love with his co-commander all over again. Rex expresses his gratitude to his lover rather affectionately — unaware that he's never done so before, unaware that he and Ahsoka aren't together.

Tags: order 66 didn't happen, temporary amnesia, whump kinda, fake dating kinda, protective brotherly Anakin

Word Count: 5,713

A/N: if you saw the rom com this was inspired by, no you didn't. but fr go watch it, it's called the other zoey! (@rexsoka-monthly)

read on ao3! / masterlist

Three Months Ago

“Commander Rex, the latest briefing has come in.”

Her Commander turned to face the officer on the bridge before focusing his attention back to her, “Want to have a look? It might have an update on General Kenobi’s efforts.”

That kind smile flashed upon his lips and reached his bright eyes. Ahsoka found that she was incapable of refusing. Being at his side in these few days since her return felt almost magnetic and she didn’t desire to part with that anytime soon. She followed the officer and Rex waited for her to fall in line before he let himself move his feet. 

The doors to the briefing room swept aside and encased them in the small space, the holotable glowing with the waiting figure of Commander Cody. “Rex, are you and Commander Tano en route to Coruscant?”

Ahsoka smiled at the man’s use of her former title. No one was seemingly able to drop it either out of habit or respect or both. Even outside of her former legion, the clones continued to refer to her as their Commander. She smiled and Cody greeted her as well. 

“We are. Just departed from Mandalore and had entered hyperspace right before you called. Maul is in custody below,” Rex answered. “Any update on your end?”

“Yes. My men are retrieving the body of General Grievous as we speak… what’s left of him, that is. General Kenobi was successful in his efforts against the pile of scrap. I shouldn’t speak too soon on such matters brother, but, with the death of Grievous comes the end of the war — rendering the Seperatist’s forces without orders and therefore… ineffective,” Cody said, his voice sounding as if he didn’t believe the words he spoke. 

The words sounded wrong to everyone. 

Rex’s eyes narrowed and he had to sit his helmet down, “You’re positive?”

Cody laughed, “I had to confirm three times myself. My medics declared him dead. Proceed en route to the capital, Rex. Commanders. We’ll join you shortly. Cody out.”

His blue form fizzled and the holotable went dark. 

Ahsoka’s mouth hung open and she searched Rex for his reaction. His eyebrows were high on his forehead, a similar expression of shock painting his face. They stood there in a weighted silence. Neither of them knew what or how to feel. 

It went without saying that this war had been their only real purpose in life, each of them growing up in it and knowing nothing other than to be a soldier. All they knew was the mission, the field, the fight, the reports, the lack of sleep. They only ever knew the hurt and pain of war — the never ending loss amidst small victories. It wasn’t an endless cycle, it was just their life. 

Neither she nor Rex remembered a life without the war or life without the other person in it. 

What did they do now if it was all over? How did they proceed after the people they were on Mandalore? 

He was the first to speak, cutting through the loud and suffocating silence, “Well, in the theme of good things resulting from war.” A half-hearted chuckle rumbled in his chest, referencing their earlier conversation on the bridge. “They end.”

“What will you do now?” she blurted, the words leaving her mouth as soon as he finished. 

He put his tongue in the pocket of his cheek, scanning the empty room. No… not here. Such honesties weren’t appropriate in this location — not that said honesties were appropriate in any scenario. “Whatever the Republic asks of me, I suppose. My loyalty remains with it. The fight won’t end overnight,” he said. 

“And if it does?” Ahsoka prompted, not satisfied with his answer and knowing well that he was right. 

She should’ve felt more shame with the way her focus rested on his lips, watching them part in anticipation of his response, far too hopeful that he’d mention the gundark in the room. Rex’s tongue darted out to wet his bottom lip and she hung desperately onto each torturous movement. His tongue rose behind his teeth as he prepared to speak, but his response never came.

The door opposite of the bridge slid open and Jesse and a squad of clones stepped in. Rex’s attention fell from her to his brothers. 

Jesse was out of breath. “Commander Rex, I just got an update from Cody.”

“We just got off with him,” Rex said. “What he says is true, but don’t go telling the men just yet. We want them to finish up with everything before they start producing flasks and alcohol out of thin air.”

Jesse laughed guilty and patted a pouch on his waist, “You got it, Commander.” He saluted Rex and faced Ahsoka, doing the same, “Commander.”

The doors didn’t close behind him as his small squad left, allowing air into the tense little room and allowing the Commander and Advisor to catch their breath, but stripping them of their criminally short bit of privacy. 

Rex fought with his decision not to tell her. He’d waved the opportunity by as it passed him yet now intensely wanted it back. They’d unfortunately rejoined reality, but it was nowhere close to feeling as real as the reality they’d been a part of when the briefing room had been theirs alone. The tight, charged bubble of air that had encapsulated them on Mandalore followed them on the bridge of the Tribunal, shrinking steadily all the while and pushing them further together. It had reached a point of suffocating smallness, but one that Rex and Ahsoka both had welcomed — only for it to suddenly burst. 

Ahsoka stepped away from him and he could physically feel the distance growing between them in the pit of his stomach. It was then that he realized the end of the war didn’t quell his fear of losing her again — now in more ways than one. 

“You coming?” she asked, moving toward the exit. His stomach lightened. “The sooner things get done, the sooner we can tell everyone the good news.”

Rex picked his helmet up and his shoulders along with it. The soft curve of her full lips made his entire body feel lighter. There was not a thing in the galaxy to feel so mournful about just yet. 

“We could check up on how far along the men are with the post-mission checklists again,” Rex suggested. 

Ahsoka bit her lip midway through his sentence, suppressing a curious grin and shutting off her datapad. 

“What?” he asked, his own lips curving upwards. They’d been doing that frequently since her return. 

“We can only check the status of the gear so many times, Rex,” she laughed. “It’s been four years. Your men have it under control. They could probably do it in their sleep, I’d wager.”

That pulled a laugh from his lungs, “I reckon’ you’re right. The boys would start thinking I’ve come down with something if I start hovering again. Besides, the corries being on board are enough to do a lot of it for me.”

“I think I’ll have to confer with Jesse on that one. A relaxed Captain Rex is not something I can picture,” she teased, bypassing the final set of ships in the hangar.

“I’ve told you. It’s true. More than just Jesse can attest.”

“I’ll believe it when I see it,” Ahsoka kept on, giving him a wink and that smirk of hers as he jogged up to catch her. “We’ve seen to our duties three times over now—”

“Two and a half,” he corrected, winking back at her, the blood in his ears pumping furiously.

That earned him a mocking eye roll, squeezing at his heart. “So far, you’re not proving your case. And as your advisor, I’d advise you to turn in early and get caught up on lost sleep. You should take every opportunity you get. I hear the war will be over soon,” Ahsoka jested. It’s all the men were talking about. Word had spread more quickly than even the Blue Shadow Virus had. 

He shrugged his shoulders, a loose smile playing at his lips, “Which doesn’t exactly mean the end of reports.”

“Vaughn has them covered as Captain,” she countered, crossing her arms and foiling his one and only excuse to remain in her presence for just a little while longer. 

Blast it. 

The last thing Rex wanted to do was turn in early. He very much wanted to finish overseeing the men, and he wanted to fill out the various mission reports from the siege… not that it necessarily needed to be done now or by him specifically. It was something that gave him purpose and perhaps a bit of joy. Did he still experience that same joy from said tasks when Ahsoka wasn’t around as he did them? 

Well, not exactly, but that has nothing to do with anything. And how many more opportunities would he get to do those things with her if the war truly was ending?

Even though it was still unclear, Rex felt a mass settle in his chest that told him their time together was limited. Did they just not address all that banter? The absence of appropriate distance between the two of them? The shortness of breath where they got perhaps too close? 

They were running out of time and he knew it. Everything was about to change. 

Rex wasn’t Force sensitive by any means, but he could feel that Ahsoka knew it too — just as he could somehow sense that she felt everything he felt. 

They came to a lift adjacent to the hangar and Rex stepped in after her, something like the wings of keeradacks brushing against the walls of his stomach. Had these things always been so narrow? 

He swore they were bigger on the Resolute. The Tribunal had to be an updated model of the Jedi cruiser. 

Their arms touched. 

Ahsoka cut her eyes up at him from under her lashes. He smiled but didn’t move. She didn’t either. Her gaze fell to his throat, watching it bob as he swallowed. The confines of the lift were having a physical effect on him and it was not going unnoticed. Ahsoka smoothed her dress. It was doing the same thing to her. 

A sharp ding then filled the thick air between them and Rex cleared his throat, hanging behind to allow her to exit first — because he was a gentleman and also because he wasn’t.

He bit his tongue at the way her short dress hugged her backside.

Ahsoka led the way through the corridor, passing the men’s empty barracks and heading toward the wing reserved for commanding officers and other such superiors. She was taking the long way and didn’t think he’d notice. 

It shouldn’t have, but the air felt thick up here as well. There was no one around but the two of them — their forces still cleaning weaponry and finalizing tasks for their return to Coruscant. These halls wouldn’t be so deserted soon, but for now, they echoed.

Commander’s quarters were within sight all too soon and Ahsoka leaned against the wall opposite of his door. Rex stopped suddenly, not approaching the door. It had been on his mind since they departed for this mission and he’d not gotten the opportunity to offer beforehand.

“Ahsoka,” he said, earning her curious eye. “You can have my quarters if you’d like. I know they used to be yours and it’s something that would feel familiar. You shouldn't have to sleep in a guest room.”

She smiled softly, “I wouldn’t ask that of you, Rex. Besides, I am technically a guest as an advisor. I appreciate it, but it’s quite alright.”

“I know you’d never ask it of me, which is why I’m offering it to you.”

“Rex, I’m not taking your bed from you.”

He swallowed, that specific string of words lighting his insides on fire.

“Then sleep in the General’s quarters at least,” he suggested. “If the Council hadn’t done what they did to you… that’s the room you’d be in right now anyway.”

Her brow markings dipped questioningly, an amused yet honest expression decorating her features. “What’s this about, Rex?”

If she said his name one more time, it would be the medic he’d have to seek out.

The closer she stepped, the more his throat seemed to close. “General Skywalker promoted me and, well, your bed is worlds more comfortable than mine — the Commander’s bed, I mean,” he corrected himself, cursing the blush that was blooming under his collar. “It’s worlds better than the Captain’s ever was and I deduced that the guest beds must be about the same as the barracks.”

Ahsoka raised her brows and nodded, confirming his suspicions, a little laugh punctuating her words, “You’d be right on the credits with that assumption. Always seeing between the lines.”

“Skywalker didn’t assign me to you for no reason,” he said, half joking. She laughed. Kriff, he loved it when she laughed. He loved even more than he could be the reason she laughed.

“You wouldn’t tell if I hijacked the General’s quarters, then?”

“Not a soul, General,” he playfully saluted. 

She rolled her eyes and pushed herself off the wall, approaching the door beside his. Her door whooshed open and his followed. 

Slender sienna fingers gripped the door and they drowned in one another’s eyes, staying quiet for too long and staring longer than was acceptable. If the war wasn’t coming to an end and there were more scenarios like this one, Rex wasn’t so sure either of them could keep a leash on their self control. That pull was back — that gravitational force between them — the bubble shrinking around them. 

She finally broke eye contact and glanced away, skin tinged with a blush. Her goodbye was reluctant. “Good night, Rex,” she whispered.

There was no no remaining moisture in his mouth and a frightened love in his “Good night, Ahsoka,” tugging back on itself, trying to keep itself a secret.

He waited until her rear lek disappeared through the door and it slid closed, the distance and the wall between them a heartache. Rex ran a hand over the back of his head and looked at the cold door. 

He loved her. It was in every word spoken to her, in the crossing of blaster under saber, in longing stares, in the lingering behind after everyone else had gone, the accidental touching, the knowing what they were doing with all that banter. He loved her. She made him understand the word in a way he never thought possible. 

At no point in the war had Rex paced so karking much. He did it until he thought maybe he was keeping Ahsoka awake with it, as they shared a wall. One wall. One fucking, miserable, mocking wall. He sat on the bed. His knee bounced incessantly. He didn’t even try to shed his armor and get the shut eye she’d advised. Sleep would not be coming any time soon. Rex knew well that her being an advisor had meant the war variety, not in the sleep variety. She had only been half teasing when she’d suggested it, of that he was aware, but he didn’t want to let her down.

She plagued him. She infected his every cell. He ought to find the medic and get him to run a diagnostic. He was sure the monitors would beep with a high amount of ‘A-count’ over that of the normal M-count he heard talk of all those times Kix had seen to Ahsoka’s injuries. 

Ahsoka had invaded his body and mind and he didn’t want to get her out. She reigned over all of his senses.

He checked the chrono and released a huff of air. It had only been an hour since they’d both confined themselves to their quarters. His mouth was void of all moisture, knees bringing him to stand from the bed and approach the door. With a sharp inhale and a setting of the jaw, he pressed the button to open it and the brightly lit hallway greeted him.

Roaring laughter could be heard to the right, pouring from the barracks. A drink was what he really needed, a bit of Tihaar to numb his nerves. Jesse would no doubt have a separate stash he could borrow from, with no fear of running low. But he didn’t turn to the right. Rex took one step to the left and found the door to the General’s quarters open — Ahsoka’s door. 

It was dark inside and he peered in, finding the sheets awry and no one in bed. No one was in the room at all. Where had she gone?

For a fleeting moment, Rex reconsidered the barracks, wondering if Ahsoka had joined the men in celebrations. But he shook his head, walking in the opposite direction. Rex had no destination in mind. Like his future, his current path was undetermined, leaving him aimlessly wandering about the cruiser. 

Most sections of the ship were completely untouched, indicating that the Tribunal had only recently been released from the Kuat Drive Yards. He wondered if Mandalore had been its maiden voyage — if it had been constructed for a war it would never see. 

After all, the siege had not officially been a part of the war. 

He sighed, trying with proven difficulty not to think about the time that had already passed and the time that still would. They were all waiting like sitting convors as one era quietly bled into the next. He didn’t expect to ever be so… unsettling. 

The rambunctious chatter in his helmet did nothing to lift his mood or ease his mind, moving him to switch his comms off entirely. No one was looking for him at this time of night, all under the impression he’d gone to bed. Hell, if a drunken trooper came face to face with him in the corridors, they’d look even more so like a kybuck in headlights than they did when sober. 

At any rate, Jesse was with them and doing an excellent job of being both the babysitter and the drinking buddy.

Their laughter echoed down the halls even this far away from the barracks. Ahsoka had to know what they were all doing, but either didn’t mind or had gone somewhere else to sleep. Between her not being on this mission as a Jedi as well as the war’s status being up in the air, she wasn’t there to bust any codpieces.

His face flushed furiously under his bucket at the thought. 

Rex had no idea how all this had managed to happen in just a few days' time. She was never not on his mind. If he took a left up ahead, it would lead him on the path to the medbay. It might be worth going to sort this thing out. He had to have breathed in some kind of pollen or intoxicant that made him feel this way about Ahsoka…

But deep in his heart he knew that nothing had gotten into his airways — nothing except her. 

Rex took said left and found himself walking above the hangar. The lights had been shut off, meaning the men had properly finished their assigned tasks without him going behind them to ensure it. He spoke too soon, however, as there was one light still on.

Without the comm chatter of the boys in his helmet, Rex’s own thoughts filled the bucket and suffocated him. Completing that earlier two and a half rounds of inspections would do well to clear it. He sighed and made for the lift in the hall to take care of the light when he passed by the hangar control center, catching sight of sharp movement from within through his periphery. 

The room was completely dark. 

“Hey,” he called, walking into the small room, his tone taking on that of reprimanding a loitering shiny. “No one should be in here, it’s after hour—”

His pauldron caught the edge of the wall and he lost his footing, catching himself with ease but not before bumping into someone.

Ahsoka. 

She was leaned up against a panel, smirking up at him as if she’d been waiting for him to get here, backlit by the one light in the hangar and the glow of the control panels. More importantly, she was flush against him and hadn’t moved despite his misstep. 

He had never been more regretful in his own steps as he backed away. Kriff, she was angelic. 

“After hours? Even for advisors?” she asked playfully, crossing her arms. 

He’d done nothing but smile like a fool since her return and now was no exception. Rex stood there admiring her, transfixed with her beauty and out of breath at the way she shone in the dim light. It was difficult to swallow, but he managed, thankful she couldn’t see his lopsided grin under the helmet. “I distinctly recall you infamously never abiding to the rule anyway,” he said, adding, “Some things never change.”

Even in the dark he could see her knee-weakening curve of the lips, smiling at his second use of the phrase, referencing a slice of their amorous interactions on Mandalore. Karking hells. This had taken the top spot of most beautiful things he’d ever seen — and everything on the list was Ahsoka.

Rex didn’t smile so genuinely very often, yet her return had broken new records. Seeing her face for the first time again, her reaction to the helmets, his handiwork had swelled in his chest and engorged his heart. He didn’t anticipate her being so beautiful, so perfect. As soon as those doors had opened and she’d walked in with Skywalker, Rex had been done for. And once they were on their way to Mandore — once they were alone — the banter began, but not ever how it had been before. His heart fluttered and his stomach flipped, that muscle behind his navel coiling. It was charged, magnetic, and only increased over the past few days. 

His poor heart hammered against his chest plate, threatening the integrity of the armor. 

“Don’t tell me you’re up because you were going to triple check the men’s efforts in the hangar,” Ahsoka taunted. 

He pressed his lips together and chuckled softly, “Well, if I told you I couldn’t sleep, that would be a lie.”

And a lie it would be. As much as he hadn’t wanted to admit it to himself, his path tonight was never undetermined — it was always going to lead him to her. 

Ahsoka stepped forward and yet again they were nearly flush together, the distance between them now so small that it would raise all sorts of concern and probably broke several protocols. She studied his helmet and tilted her head, offering him a sweet smile. Rex knew better than to think she was merely taking stock of the armor, looking instead past it at the man underneath.

Ungloved hands closed around the bottom half of the bucket and lifted, all of Rex’s suffocating thoughts and feelings dissolving into the air. 

That had to be a protocol violation — but it would be one he never filed and his heart wasn’t complaining. 

And he was past letting it. 

Ahsoka hummed, “You didn’t even try, did you?” Rex offered her a guilty raise of the hands and purse of the lips and she laughed. “Don’t worry, your secret’s safe with me. And,” she said, running a finger along the rangefinder on his helmet, her words tickling his lips. His entire body came alight with electricity. “You’ll be pleased to know that the men did a perfect job with the ships in the hangar, like I said they would.”

His brows knit together and his mouth fell slightly agape, their breaths mingling. They were probably the only two people on board not drunk off their shebs, but Rex swore that was changing. He was becoming intoxicated just being this close to her, his mind struggling to work past the haze. 

Thankfully, his reserves kicked in and her meaning fell into place. “And you called me unrelaxed,” he heard himself say.

Shrugging, Ahsoka mirrored his earlier words, “Old habits and all. Like you said, some things never change, right?” He swore she winked at him but couldn’t be sure, the haze fogging his brain could’ve seen what it wanted to. “I did save you one though.”

A single brown eyebrow raised and he mirrored her smug little smirk, “Oh yeah?”

“I had a feeling I’d find you wandering this way at some point tonight,” she said, turning to exit the room, still holding his helmet and casting a soft, unreadable smile over her shoulder. 

Rex followed her again into a tiny lift and made a point to purposefully graze her arm with his, not that it wouldn’t have happened naturally if he didn’t try. He watched her lips raise out of the corner of his eye. 

The ding sounded all too soon and he decided that there was very little in this universe he wouldn’t give to be able to get stuck in this lift with her. 

She led him down the dim hallway towards the main doors, walking in comfortable silence and feeling his heart inch further up his throat with every step. This was where he had to tell her. They were quite literally walking into the opportunity. It was quiet all around them, but his thoughts were loud, so loud in fact that he was sure they’d start echoing in the hangar along with his and Ahsoka’s combined footsteps. 

The ship in question was a small shuttle tucked away to the left. It was the only thing in the hangar that was lit — the overhead light above it buzzing. 

“I can practically hear the gears turning in there,” Ahsoka commented softly, glancing back at him. 

“Just on edge a bit,” he said truthfully. “Guess we all are with the rumors that are circulating,” he said less truthfully. 

She pressed a button that lowered the ramp of the shuttle, nodding in agreement. “Whatever happens, I’m looking forward to not being a soldier with you, whether it's now or later.”

Rex straightened his shoulders, “I’m not sure what will happen to all of us clones, but it would be the highest honor to assist you in being a keeper of the peace. There’s nothing I’d rather do.”

He half thought she’d salute him again as she did on the bridge, but Ahsoka only boarded the ramp and set his helmet down on a nearby surface. 

“So… you’re rejoining the Order, then?” he asked, feeling the available air around them diminish.

Her lips flattened in thought and she nodded. “I think so, yes, but I'm not without my conditions. Besides, how else am I supposed to see you all the time?” she added, pretending like she was only joking. 

Something in the way she wet her lips told Rex otherwise. 

They’d barely made it two steps inside the shuttle’s narrow entryway and his heart already threatened to short out. He could control his breathing in any and all other situations, except for those that involved her. And for the first time, he noticed that her breathing pattern was the same. If not even the use of the Force could help her with regulating it, then he was fighting a battle he was destined to lose. 

By some miracle of the universe, his voice didn’t betray him as he spoke. “Did you really save this ship for my inspection?”

Ahsoka didn’t miss a beat and took a step forward. “You do have the better eyes,” she said, searching him far beyond that of the surface level. She seeped into his very pores.

Not another missed opportunity would pass him by, not when she was this close again, not when she was looking at him like that.

Rex pushed away from the surface behind him and matched her forward step, entering her space and turning her steps into reverse, backing her into the opposite wall. 

He was careful not to crowd her and she pressed herself into the durasteel behind her, looking up and finding his intense gaze. “I’d wager a fair amount of credits that yours are better,” he drawled, not at all in reference to her inspection abilities. One of his hands raised and settled on the wall next to Ahsoka’s head. Her left montral grazed the inside of his wrist and the breath in both of their throats hitched. 

The blue of her eyes felt like home and not just because they were the blue of Kamino’s waters on a day without rain. He would gladly sink to the depths for her if she asked it of him. Her wide eyes searched his, full lips parting as the inches between their faces dwindled. His knee ran along the outside of hers, that bubble around them tightening — constricting the air around them, forcing them to share the same breath. 

Whether or not Ahsoka had truly left this shuttle for his inspection or not was irrelevant. He’d figured out her unreadable smile and sleight of hand. She wanted to see if he truly had relaxed, if he could allow himself something like this despite his duty and despite his title — if he could love her. 

He did. 

He did and he was tired of not admitting it. Both to himself and to her. 

The backs of his knuckles slowly swept up her inner arm, gliding along her bicep. His fingers shook and his breath trembled, but he refused to look away from her, ready for any sign or signal that she wanted him to stop.

She swallowed visibly, tucking her bottom lip between her teeth and tilting her head just so, exposing her neck to him. The subtle movement was almost imperceptible, but Rex caught it, journeying to the skin and grazing her lekku with his knuckles along the way.

Ahsoka sucked in a heavy breath, heart pounding mercilessly. Rex continued, sliding his fingers over her neck and pressing over her very rapid, very visible pulse. She let out a breath of air as if to laugh at herself, but it became trapped in her throat as he leaned down, eyes on her. The ‘no’ never came.

His lips were soft as they pressed to her pulse point, kissing with the utmost delicacy and lingering not nearly long enough. 

Her eyes were blown wide when he pulled away, chest pushed forward and heaving. 

“‘Soka, I—”

She whimpered and cut him off, bringing both of her hands to his face and pulling him close, desperate to share his air again and feel his lips on hers this time. Rex’s hand fell to her waist and she wiggled to where his leg was situated between her legs. Ahsoka inhaled with quivering lips into his mouth and Rex did the same, lips touching briefly. His other hand cradled her face, thumb stroking the marking on her cheek, watching as her brow markings couldn’t settle on what to do.

Rex smiled into her mouth, sighing in relief as he closed his eyes and—

“Who left this light on? Someone turn that off before Commander Rex shuts the party down,” a voice echoed in the hangar. 

Ahsoka’s forehead pressed against Rex’s, the both of them out of breath and looking desperately into the other’s eyes as the footsteps drew nearer.

Another voice joined the first, “I saw Sterling turn all these off. Must’ve been an accident.”

Two orange fingers were held up and Rex nodded. Two troopers were coming this way and the ramp to the shuttle was still lowered. Fek, he hoped she had a plan. 

He wasn’t disappointed. Ahsoka closed her eyes and lifted her hand into the air, her nose scrunching as slightly as she navigated the Force. Rex watched on as the light from outside flickered a few times, repeating a few times and sparking before shutting off completely. The dark blanketed them completely. 

“Keep going,” she whispered breathily.

A blush blossomed over Rex’s entire body. Those men were still out there. 

“What the—” he heard one of them say.

“Must be a bad fuse. Tell a droid and let’s wipe our hands with it. I’d like to return to my drink,” the other giggled.

“Good with me.”

Karking hells they had to be right by the shuttle, with no idea that their Commanders were inside. 

His lips found that spot on her neck he’d kissed before, pressing his lips to it and deepening the kiss, one hand cradling her neck as the other found the tip of her right lek. Ahsoka sucked in a sharp breath and clenched her teeth to keep from making any noise. He bravely swiped his tongue along the tender skin and her body jerked, hands wrapping around his neck. 

“Rex,” she whispered, panting.

He hummed against her feverish skin, squeezing her lek and running it through his fist. 

She sighed, trying to control her reactions, “I think, I’d like to— I’d like to amend my statement from earlier.”

Rex sucked at the spot he’d been stimulating, right where her jaw met her neck, drawing the most delicious sound past her wavering lips. “Yeah? Which one is that, ‘Soka?”

He felt her swallow and catch her breath, antsy hands falling to his belt, “Whe— When I called you my friend,” she gasped.

All he could do was chuckle against her, pressing one final kiss to her neck. “I think we both knew what you meant,” he breathed. 

A small bit of light bled through the hangar as the two troopers vacated the area. She glanced towards the door and straightened despite the return of their privacy. “Linger back a bit,” she whispered. “Meet me in the General’s quarters.”

“Ahsoka,” Rex said, being sure to use her name properly. “Are you sure?” 

Her wrist was taken between his fingers and her other hand rubbed his shoulder in response. “I’ve never been more sure of anything, Rex. I’ve been sure for… how many days has it been?”

Rex expelled a bit of air from his nose and leant down to peck her cheek, “I’ve lost count by now, because of you.”

[spyderlondon]

An au, where everyone’s memories are lost including the crew thinking they were ever real/humans when they got transported into the digital circus, they all think they are their respective characters and act as their characters personalities, heavily deviating from the ones in the show

Pomni a semi crazy goofy jester

Kinger…. A normal king

Jax, a helpful voice of reason(with a little southern accent)

And so on

A/N: .......evil Caine route? Evil Caine route. Definitely no showtime in this- it'd be far too toxic. There will be a referenced BunnyDoll though.

CW: Mind wiping, mental manipulation, puppeteeing unwilling participants, amnesia, loss of free will

Art by @00belle00lovely00

Pulling All the Strings

Ko-Fi

----

There was a small gasp then a groan as a small woman awoke in a dark room with no light visible aside from a small crack under, what she assumed, was a door, "Ugh... where-where am I...?" She mumbled quietly.

There was an almost unnoticeable dark chuckle from the corner of the room, "Seems my new puppet has awoken from her sleep~" A voice called out as she was forced onto her feet slowly and steadily as if strings were pulling her upwards against her will.

Her eyes widened in fear as she began struggling, attempting to get away. Only to feel her flesh being cut into by the invisible threads. She could only gasp in pain, "Let go! Let me [^^%*&^%] go, you ba-" She cried out as the strings seemed to yank against her neck, threatening to cut deep if she spoke another word.

Once the woman went silent and the figure seemed to feel slowly stop to struggle, he spoke up again, "They always struggle." He sighed as he on the strings once more before loosening them up, "Always struggle, almost always curse. You're all so... human." He hissed out 'human', sounding disgusted by the word. He went silent as he looked down at her, only his glowing narrowed eyes could be seen. It was as if he was examining her, judging her, figuring out who she was, "Hm, yes, you'd make a wonderful jester~" It sounded as if he was grinning, "Let me adjust your mind a tad..."

"WHAT DO YOU MEAN AD- Ack!" She was silenced with another pull of the invisible string on her neck, drawing blood.

"Now, now, pet. You needn't worry about a thing..." A hand was placed on top of her head, forcing her to peer up into his heterochromatic eyes that began to quickly flash with dots and strobbing lights. She attempted to shut her eyes to avoid looking into his but that merely resulted in tiny strings taking her eyelids and forcing them open, "Do not look away from your new puppet master." He commanded with a low growl. She whimpered in fear as she had no choice but to submit to him, gazing into his flashing, wide eyes, "Good, my little jester~ Just stay like that..." He mumbled as watched the color from her eyes slowly dull from the bright violet coloration they once had and slowly had the colors separate into blue and red in a pinwheel pattern before her eyes were allowed to flutter shut.

------

"Pomni. Wake up. Time to prepare for the show." A voice spoke out, waking the jester from her sleep.

She rose as if booting up like a computer. She looked up at the floating figure in front of her with blank eyes for a moment as if registering who she was looking at- red coat... white under shirt... black pants... top hat... oh! "Hello! Caine!" She greeted as she jumped out of her bed with a bright, kind've unnatural smile on her face.

Caine hid a smirk as he watched the girl- his new puppet. His new 'AI' smile at him while rocking back and forth on her feet as if waiting orders from him. He hummed as he silently looked her up and down, admiring his work on the jester. She had a black and red color scheme unlike her blue and red eyes but her outfit had entirely changed- she had a hat on that completely covered her hair with the front part of it going down in between her eyes and barely going over the bridge of her nose with little yellow bells on the ends of the liliripes; she had a dark red vest with little purple jewels attached on the lapels; gray long sleeves that had cyan embroidery on it of some swirly patterns as well as the letters 'C&A' on the shoulders; she had dark blue and crimson gloves on her hands; her tights were black and red alternating zig zags; and her shoes were like her gloves dark blue and crimson.

The ringmaster rolled his shoulders a bit, "Hello, my dear." He mused as he greeted her, "I apologize for how I had to force you into sleep mode last night, you were just acting out too much. I had to reprogram you a bit." He explained with a feigned sigh of disappointment, "But, don't you worry, any injuries sustained were patched up Bubble!" He clapped his hands together as if everything was going as normal as always. Pomni's programming simply messed up and had to be fixed after!

"Oh! Sorry for whatever I messed up on, Ringmaster!" The jester apologized with a silly bow before glancing up at him to see him chuckling in amusement, brightening her mood up.

"Ah, it's all okay. No harm, no foul after all, my dear." He waved off, "But we mustn't stand here chatting! Jax and Ragatha's act should be over here soon! You are up next, my dear, the audience mustn't be kept waiting after all!" He urged her to get ready before he zipped off to check on the current act.

----

"You cannot see

How much I long to be free..."

A stiff looking rag doll was spinning on a large music box in the center of the main stage of the circus- she was dancing around as if she was nothing but a decoration on the mechanical contraption.

Near her was a purple rabbit with a yellow light jacket on top of a seafoam green shirt and dark yellow pants. He was moving and dancing around as if under control of an invisible puppetmaster, "Truly Scrumptious~" He sang towards the doll despite how she never glanced his way and remained ever turning, "And if I may seem presumptuous..." He danced over to the mirrors attached to the music box and looked at himself like it was choreographed... until he paused and stared himself in the mirror as if he saw a flaw on himself.

"Turning around-" The doll's eye subtly wandered towards the rabbit and noticed what he was doing, she could tell the audience and the now nearby Caine, were becoming suspicious by the rabbit's actions, "-on this music box that's..." She waited until she rotated closer to him before jolting a tiny to ram his face into the mirror, making him stumble a bit and looked around.

There was laughing from the audience and the rabbit went back to singing, "Never... never... ever..." He wandered back in front of the doll's music box where he saw a hand close to his and he couldn't but use his puppet like movements to get close to trying to give her hand a kiss.

"Wound by a key." Her moved upwards quickly, slapping one of his ears lightly- causing more laughter from the crowd.

"Go away." She made sure her arms and head moved in a perfect, robotic motion as she spun and tried to ignore the blush that tinted her cheeks a little when she saw him try to kiss her hand.

"Yearning..."

"My heart beats so unruly..." The bunny placed a hand on his chest and had it move like a heartbeat.

"Yearning..."

"Because I love you truly..." He opened his arms wide as if to get a hug from the doll.

"While I'm..." The doll sent him a small look that told him to 'stop it'.

"Honest, Truly..." The rabbit hugged himself instead.

"Turning around and around." She suddenly became frozen, the music box no longer turning.

"I do." He halfway flopped downwards, the tips of his ears barely touching the ground.

Once the music ended and there was a roar of cheering amongst the crowd, Caine popped in between two, "...meet me in my office after the show..." He ordered the two of them silently, his eyes glowing a bit as the two of them gave a quick nod before running backstage.

The ringmaster looked up to the audience, "Weren't they wonderful, audience?!" Everyone in the stands cheered loudly, "Hope our next act, the jester can impress us all just as much!" He roused up the crowd, getting them excited for the new jester.

The rag doll and rabbit stared in horror from behind the currents as they heard the announcement of a jester. The doll had to grip the rabbit to keep herself from letting her mask fall, not when another character was so close by, "He got a new person..." She mumbled under her breath, her voice trembling as she watched Pomni make her way up to where the trapeze platform were, "...we have no net to catch her if she falls..." Her face paled, "Jax..." Her grip tightened.

Jax put a hand on hers and tightened it a bit, "Caine can control her, she'll be fine, Rags..." He murmured to her, his own eyes never leaving the sight as well. Especially now that the jester had begun her performance.

-----

Song used in the fic: "Doll on a Music Box" from Chitty Chitty Bang Bang

[themournwatcher]

Kyr Farwhisper - The Dark Urge

"Everyone has unseemly thoughts. Being able to quieten them is what sets us apart from the beasts."

Sharing some screenshots from my Dark Urge playthrough, which has just about hit 21 hours. BE WARNED. EVERYTHING BELOW THE READ-MORE LINE IS SPOILERS FOR THE DARK URGE PLAYTHROUGH. There is spoiler content, gore, and violence beyond! I tag with "#durge spoilers" if you want to block.

[Narrator: *You have nothing in your skull, besides your name and a headache. But you are in danger.*

Curse whoever did this to you.

Say your name aloud. You have a part of yourself.

Take a deep breath, shake your head, and start anew.]

The Dark Urge, in my opinion, is an origin that is preferable even to the custom ones that a player can make. Like the origins we get from the other PCs, such as Shadowheart or Astarion, there are custom cutscenes, content, and dialogue options specifically tailored to the Haunted past that you bring to the party. The Dark Urge isn't a play-through I would recommend if you want the feeling of a Noble, Righteous Hero. In some ways, it can be very stereotypically "edgelord"; you have little memory of your past, and are prone to violent and grotesque proclivities.

I suppose if you wanted to truly run an evil route and see how many dear companions you could kill along the way, you could play this route as Indulgent, or giving into the Dark Urge. I chose to play Kyr as a hopeless struggle; he is frightened by himself, and does his best to resist his dark temptations and try to do good. Resistance. It's made for a delightfully fulfilling roleplay experience, especially because I have chosen to romance Wyll on this play-through.

Even recruiting Astarion can be a little frightening.

The intro runs about the same, except when you wake up on the Nautiloid, you are bloodied, frightened, and have no memory of how you got there. In fact, there are no real signs that there is anything wrong with you, at least not in the dialogue you get until after the crash. Everyone's a little nervous, on edge, and then you have the chance to recruit Gale from his little portal. If you give into the Urge... it goes poorly. Fantasize about chopping his hand off?

I didn't make this canon for Kyr's run, but I was curious what would happen. I don't know what becomes of Gale, if you can recruit him later--if you can, how strange. You did just remove his hand for seemingly no reason. Astarion, too, has something to say about it immediately after.

This is your first sign that the Dark Urge run is going to be, well.. full of dark urges. Kyr seems to have a strange and compelling urge to commit harmful, violent acts--but doesn't seem to be aware he's doing it. I went back and he recruited Gale normally, resisting the weird desire to fantasize about chopping a man's hand off. Things were quiet--for a little bit.

Lots of dialogue choices specialized for the Dark Urge present in one of two, maybe three ways--commit this horrible act, or be shocked by your perversions and resist. Along with all of the usual options, such as based around your skill checks and your class. You have fewer culture rolls--you don't remember your past, after all (but you can imply to be Baldurian later on in Wyll's conversations, which I did). The lack of backstory and the amnesia is meant to heighten the strange horror of your situation, but I like building on what Kyr could be missing. A father, maybe, and a mother he never knew.

You can even tell Withers that you don't think your life is worth very much--something that he has a sage rebuke for. It's implied that he might know a little bit more about your circumstances than he's letting on, but if he does, he doesn't deem it fit to share with you.

Back at the camp, you do have options to speak with your party members--even so early--about your concerning affliction. Two new choices are available to you: concern about your memory loss, and concern about your violent urges. So early in the game, I decided I would start to bring up the memory loss. They are... quite flippant! And quick to dismiss your concerns on having to do with the mind-flayer tadpole.

It's late, and I'm getting sleepy, so that's all I'll add for this post. More is to come.

Part 1 | Part 2