#it was so long ago i forgot what went on in the route

[duoduotian]

think i'm officially done w/ caramia's routes, time to start kyrie's route on my next off

[lacucarachapisser]

sad to say i’m already yours colin zabel x gn!reader

a/n : okay omg it’s happening. beware of the cringe conversation and pathetic angst i really wanna punch myself in the face. no warning, this just too rush and lame and pretty basic also apologies if its weird cuz english isn’t my first im so so so so sorry. i just love colin sm.

this wasn’t the first time colin shut one's eyes to your presence. you��ve grown very used to his demanding job that takes energy, time, and even attention, which often makes you feel like you’re just a second priority. or perhaps not even counted. you think these all are pretty normal because colin is a very capable and responsible when it comes to work. and you get it.

you frequently texted him asking if he’s working late again. the dinner you’d prepared often ended up in the fridge. you waited for him with the light of the television or with an open book on your lap, while your eyes close from weariness. alone. his reply always comes with an apology buried in his deep voice. you get it.

sometimes you choose to sleep first, only to be awakened by the creaking of the door. your man, with his tired face, throws himself onto your shared bed.

"rough day?"

colin just nods, burying his face in the pillow with a long sigh.

“wanna talk about it?”

“can’t.”

he clearly didn’t have much contribution for the conversation he’ll just kill it. also, colin would likely act as if you weren’t there, so you just smile at his brief response. you actually not sure if you want to cry or laugh at that. the cases that colin handles are sometimes too horrific to share. besides, they’re confidential. you genuinely respect how dedicated your man is to his job. you get it.

colin turns his head slightly toward you, his eyes half-closed. you move closer, give him a quick kiss on his cheek and say goodnight. colin, already asleep, faster than you thought, doesn’t even flinch, nor does he say it back.

for days, communication between you two hasn’t been that intense— no dinners together, no movie nights like you used to plan on weekends, no dates. when was the last time you became intimate with each other? probably two weeks ago. or three? four? you get it.

“want me to make you some snacks?”

“no, that's okay baby.”

his voice was soft, and somehow, ironically you miss him so bad even though he was right next to you.

“i heard there’s a new coffee shop and they have like bunch of pet inside, interesting 'right?”

"uh-huh"

"yeah they have puppies! i really wanna go there,”

“sure. can we talk later, baby? i’m busy right now.”

although he comes home every day, sleeping in the same bed with you, his presence just clearly made you felt nothing but more alone. it hurts to see him come home every night as if you’re just a place to stay. never home, probably just a hostel. how cruel if he’d forgotten your efforts, how you filled his empty cup after what his ex did to him. you didn’t take the easy route to win him over. or maybe you were never capable to replace her in the first place? where did you went wrong? isn't it ironic to think how heartbreaking and sad that you already belong to him?

that day, he forgot his breakfast, and even the coffee you have made remained untouched. how long this has to continue? you don’t hate him, not for a second. it’s just that your efforts to make him happy always seemed to fail.

“colin, we need to talk.”

“about what?”

it takes courage for you to start this conversation. you’re actually scared to bring it up because colin might think you’re overreacting.

“i always tell myself that you don’t mean to hurt me— which makes it less painful. but you know what? you never really see me.”

you slowly touch his hand, feels the veins through his skin, strong beneath your fingers, firm and solid.

he gives you a crooked smile. “what’s wrong with you? of course i see you,”

“no. i know you’re busy with work, but… col, i’m right here. how long do i have to hold on to this if you keep acting like that? i can’t take it anymore,”

“baby, i have work to do,”

“oh can we talk later? we never really talk later. why can’t you at least recognize my existence that i’m here? talk to me,”

a bitter taste filled your mouth. it hurts to face colin's expression, one that looks disgusted with you—at least, that’s what you think. now he’ll even hate you because you crave his attention.

“okay, i’m sorry i’m always busy, it’s not my fault it takes up a lot of my time as if i have choices. but i promise—“

“no. stop,” you shook your head, protesting with what colin said.

“stop what?”

“you talk to me like i’m stupid. i’m not stupid. i didn’t blame your job, i would never,”

“i know you’re not stupid, but you did blame me for a stupid reason,”

there his classic maneuver. his words seem like a clever observation to shift the blame, but it's all wrong. that’s not the issue, it never was, and you’ve never blamed his job. your eyes start to fill up with tears, and soon they’ll spill over. the lines on colin's face looks vividly serious, gazing you with intense look.

“t-this is why your ex—"

colin’s hand quickly grabs your jaw. it’s not rough, but enough to surprise you and make you stop your sentence. you gasped at his furrowed brows, his expression so tense with his wide-open eyes.

“don’t.”

you immediately regret it. you didn’t mean to brought up his past, you truly didn’t intended to hurt him.

“please, don’t.” his hand is still gripping your jaw, but his fingers start to loosen, and his thumb gently strokes your cheek. your eyes are still locked with him, and then you realize that what you see in colin’s eyes isn’t anger. it was fear.

you throw yourself into his arms, burying your face in the crook of his neck, muttering apologies between soft sobs. colin wraps his arms around you, holding you tight by the waist. he hides his face on your neck, pressing his body into yours with all his strength.

“colin, i’m sorry, i’m so sorry…”

for a moment, he becomes a complete silent. letting you stay in each other’s embrace. then he finally speaks.

“don’t leave me. please, not again.”

[friendly-neighborhood-boricua]

[3] Career Fair

Summary: James holds a parents' career fair, to which Liam's mom is invited.

Notes: Marauders modern elementary school AU, kindergarten teacher!James Potter x nurse!reader, mom!reader x son!OC (Liam), inspired by this post by @ravishinglavishingluvr. Hah, remember last time where I said I was updating semi-regularly? Ok well I actually mean it now, I promise lmao. Not edited but I'll do that tomorrow. Also kinda short, sorry

A/N (1/8/2024): okok I came back here to change the names of some kids bc I forgot that this is a marauders au so I can use the names of like real kids from harry potter smhhhhh please don't get mad at me this is my first time writing an au

Previous Part: Seeing Each Other Around Town Next Part: Liam and James Make You A Birthday Gift Series Masterlist here

James ended up pushing the career fair back a couple weeks because there was a conflict in the schedule

(not because you emailed him back saying you wouldn’t be able to come the day he had originally planned it)

(and definitely not because he asked you to send him your shift schedule so he could make sure you could come, and you were working overtime for two weeks straight)

(James was pretty sure your work schedule violated some labor laws or something, but he was in no place to question you)

Liam is soooo excited for the couple days leading up to the career fair

Because his mom is cool af and he can’t wait to show everybody just how badass you are

(You had Liam pretty young, so you’re totally the parent who all the kids think is the coolest person alive and who all the kids’ older siblings have crushes on and who all the kids’ parents judge because of your age and assume you’re irresponsible, but we don’t have to talk about that)

James is also excited because he hasn’t had a real conversation with you in a couple weeks and he really just wants to talk to you

Poor Sirius and Remus have had to deal with him swooning and fawning and over you and also helping him frantically prepare for this career fair because “guys it HAS to be perfect”

But at long last, the day finally arrives

James scheduled the career fair in the afternoon so he could threaten children with canceling the event if they misbehave, so both he and his kids are bouncing off the walls in excitement all morning

He eats lunch in the library with Remus and Sirius, and they both spend the entire time hyping him up

(It’s mostly Sirius tho)

“You’ve got this, Prongs—be smooth—be nice—you’re a nice bloke, that’s not gonna be a problem for you—”

And eventually, it’s time

The parents that are participating in the fair arrive ten minutes before James has to get the kids from the cafeteria so he can explain to them what’s going to happen (because god knows the majority didn’t read the goddamn email he sent)

You’re a little late (profusely apologizing again, and it reminds James of the first time you met back at parent-teacher conferences) but you read the email the night before (and take another piece of James’ heart hostage while you’re at it) so it’s no worries

James’ summary instructions take a shorter amount of time than expected, so the ten or so parents all get to talking

And ofc James takes this opportunity to talk to you

You’d emailed back and forth about the fair but you hadn’t really talked in person since that night in the grocery store, and James was starting to feel like he’d die if he went another day without talking to you

So he’s plotting his route to you across the classroom when he notices you’ve secluded yourself a few steps away from the majority of the parents’ conversation

James is also horrified to discover you look slightly uncomfortable

Like you’re somewhere you don’t belong

And of course James can’t have that

So he sidles up next to you and asks how your day is going, if your boss gave you a hard time getting off work early, how the chocolate chip cookie dough from a month and a half ago was—anything he can think of, really

By the time James has to go get the kids from the cafeteria, you’re smiling and laughing, and James desperately wants to keep you like that all the time

He shakes himself out of his daydreamy state on the way to the cafeteria because this is your JOB, James, you can’t be distracted by your favorite student’s mom. His sweet, kind, whip-smart, dazzling … mom …

(In the back of his mind, James knows he’s screwed, he just has no idea what to do about it)

(CERTAINLY not act on it, because that would be a complete conflict of interest and totally unprofessional of him)

(But it’s just a crush)

(It’s fine)

(Right?)

ANYWAY

Liam’s on the lookout for you as soon as he steps through the door, and he beams the sweetest little chubby-cheeked smile when he finds you and points you out to his friends

You wink playfully at him, and he and his friends giggle excitedly as they sit in their seats

If James is being completely honest with himself, the career fair was a little disappointing

The majority of the parents’ presentations were kinda lame

And they didn’t make their jobs understandable or appealing for the kids

Dean's mom (she’s regional manager of a popular grocery store chain) complained to the class about her boss pretty much the whole time

Luna’s father, a rather eccentric professor at the local university, just spewed a bunch of nonsense technical jargon about the soul or the meaning of life or something that not even the adults in the room could understand

And Draco's dad (he owns the local insurance company and is just obscenely wealthy, which explains quite a bit of his son's attitude) straight up said he hated his job, so there’s that

But then there was your presentation

James is sure he’s in love by now because you made being a nurse sound so amazing

You talked about how you’re in charge of taking care of people when they’re sick or hurt, how it’s nice to be able to help people, how even when your job gets hard, you feel like you’ve made a positive impact at the end of the day

Once the parents left, James asked the kids who’s presentation they liked the most

And ofc every kid in that room agreed that yours was the best

And a solid 75% said they wanted to be a nurse lmao and he was just so proud

Proud of his kids and also you because your presentation was just so fucking good

As James is taking the kids out to the buses, Liam thanks him for inviting you to the career fair

Ofc James says it was no problem and that you’re really cool, so it was a pleasure to have you there

And Liam kinda gives James this … look … and is like “… yeah, my mom is cool …”

And James gets this horrible feeling that Liam somehow knows

Knows he’s completely smitten for Liam’s mom

Fallen head over heels

Practically in love at this point (though James has a nasty habit of throwing that word around willy-nilly)

(Liam kinda freaks James out a bit sometimes lmao)

Next Part: Liam and James Make You A Birthday Gift

[shroomaz]

"No One Else but You..." (Part 1)

RISE! FUTURE DONNIE x GN! Reader Series

A/N: HAPPY NEW YEAR EVERYONE! Hope everyone has a lovely morning/night to start the new year off. And speaking of starting off- here is the first chapter of "No One Else but You..." ENJOYYY!!!

If you haven't read the introduction- that's fine! But if you do want to here you are:

You gasp for air as you wake from your slumber.

You had a nightmare...but can't recall what it was about. Ah, the typical "I had a nightmare- but immediately forgot what it was about." A classic...

Stretching your arms, cracking your back, climbing out of bed, and putting on some slippers. Yawning in the process, you pick up your phone, looking at the time.

9:30

....CRAP!

"I'M LATE- !" you started rushing around the room gathering something "professional" to wear and tossing your once comfortably warm pjs across the room.

It was hard enough that you left home for college to continue your "most precious" dream career... if only it was so easy. Once you got to California- it was like putting a goldfish into a pool of hungry piranhas. You had no idea where to go, no idea what to do, and most importantly no one to comfort you whilst you were gone.

You left New York to California hoping for something greener on the other side. Hoping to be able to see more things and get more experiences, but of course, life had another plan to drop the ball on you.

Ah, the feeling...the feeling of the young naive you wandering around town with hopeful sparkles in your eyes...those sparkles had dimmed a long time ago since then.

This was your final chance to get something done right. This job interview would be the pin in what you always wanted. That is-- if the traffic would hurry up.

Once you've arrived; you rush up the office stairs, holding your files and resumes in hand, some papers trying to fly away and you tripping on your feet.

People giving you looks as you kept running into them, with your apologies following after.

FINALLY! You made it to the front desk.

"Um...hello there," you said to the desk lady typing on her computer before looking at you with her glasses sliding to her nose and with a... not-so-welcoming look in her eyes.

"Yes...? What is your business for today?" She replied to your question, almost bitterly.

"I'm sorry for coming in so late- but I'm here for the 9 o'clock interview. For the opening position?" You were nearly about to ramble to the lady before she cut you off coldly.

"That position has already been filled." She continued to look back at her computer, typing and TRYING to ignore you...but you couldn't take that. Nope. Not today.

You place your papers on the desk, leaning in and holding your hand to her in confusion. "What do you mean it's been filled? I was told that there was no one applying for the role and that I would be qualified if I showed all my papers!" 

The lady looked up at you and slowly moved your hand down before leaning in. "You were too late then..." she leaned back before sighing; "Someone else came in before you...you win some you lose some sweetie. The time you moved on..." She went back to typing.

...

You didn't know what to do...everything had gone down the drain. Whoever told you that being a regular citizen would be this hard...? No one that's for sure...

When these times were tough you remembered home...

"HOME"

You want to remember that feeling; coming home from school and walking with April to the sewers to greet your green friends...

Mikey, Raph, Leo...Donnie. All the chaos that would run rampant around the lair, the Jupiter Jim marathons, and most importantly- the weekly sleepovers that you would have with them.

They were the closest thing to family that you had! And with Donnie...you were close.

After all, he was the first one you met, the first REAL person to come into your life...it all began that day at the rooftop where he "rescued" you from the purple dragons back in high school...it was funny when you look back at it and how he TRIED to convince you that he was not a talking turtle and some guy in cosplay...but you knew better. What human calls other people 'fellow human' and says they do 'regular human activities'?

However, he slightly eased up when you didn't fall for it...and you kind of relieved him and freaked him out when you weren't phased by it-

It was a hassle sometimes...with his teasing and sarcasm that would erupt from him. Those precisely drawn eyebrow raises he would give you when you were just a little slow to catch onto something...but you knew at the end of the day, he was always there for you when you called or texted.

The weekly sleepovers with the guys soon just became you and Donnie making a fort for you to sleep in his room. Or rather- you falling asleep in his lab whilst he worked on something. 

Better yet! You would wake up in his bed and he would sleep in his work chair in his lab...

It was sad to see that fade away like a distant memory...and that you had broken apart since then...

Ever since that fight that you had with him on the phone, you both couldn't talk to each other again. It was too painful to look back and remember the words that you both said to each other that night.

The falling of friends happens sometimes...but losing someone closer is another.

Scrolling through your old photos; you couldn't help but feel the slight grief when scrolling and still seeing the pictures of you and Donnie. It was so very few when you caught him with a smile... it was usually a scowl or straight face...but then you stopped on an old photo that Donnie had taken himself on your phone.

The night where you had fallen asleep on him, trying to survive to midnight on New Years, his hand on your head and there he was...with a slight smile on his face.

He had explained to you that morning that it was a "New Year's Gift" and you teased him for it...which he then "threatened" to delete if you were to abuse your power against him.

With Donnie...you never knew what you were going to get...but you knew that he was there. And that's what mattered...and in his way; he cared.

Tears slowly started to fill the corners of your eyes, looking at his for a moment that felt like forever...it was a brief moment considering you were in public on a sidewalk bench-

You missed him...and you wondered if he missed you.

*ding-ding* - your phone had a random number notification. Assuming it was junk mail- you went to delete it.

Until you read the message.

"Y/N"

"Come back."

"We miss you..."

(END)

[taleasnewastime]

All that remains | Part 1

[ PART THREE TO GROWING PAINS ]

Summary: You betrayed them all, acted on your own selfishness; will Jimin ever forgive you?

Pairing: Jimin x reader

Genre: Unrequited love; brothers’ best friend; slow burn; mafia au; angst

Word count: 7.4k

Warnings: Angsty feelings, unrequited feelings, mentions of death, blood, depression, mentions of a slight alcohol problem, drinking alcohol, feelings of being alone and isolated

Authors note: Sorry this has taken so long, and thank you for sticking around and waiting for this. Not as long as others in the series but there is more to come! Possibly a slow start but I promise that there is lots more to come and things will start heating up in no time. Part 2 won't take as long!!

Masterlist | Next

THREE MONTHS AND TWELVE DAYS LATER

The cold hits you as you exit the café. Turning, you lock the door, checking you’ve remembered to turn all the lights off. You managed to get this job not long after everything fell apart, climbing up to assistant manager quickly. It’s not your dream job, not the best pay and you could definitely get something better, but the job isn’t stressful, you don’t mind the people, it pays the bills and it’s all you need right now. You don’t want to lose this job because you forgot to turn the lights off.

The evening is dark. Beams of light coming from the streetlights. The weather’s turning cold, but you’re thankful it’s not raining like it does seemingly every day recently. It’s reflecting your mood. Dark, moody, just generally down. There are few days at the moment when you feel happy.

It’s been months since the police raid, tipped off by you with enough solid evidence to bring the organisation down. Months since your brother got locked away. Months since your whole life changed. Months since you betrayed everyone who raised you.

It’s just you and Jungkook now. The two of you supporting yourselves. In the same city just in a different part to the house you were raised in. The two of you barely scrapping by.

Oh, and Jimin.

Not working, hardly talking and barely showing his face. You and Jungkook working to support three, like some dysfunctional family. You’re struggling, only just keeping your heads above water. The flat you live in is old and cold, just enough space to squeeze the three of you in. On the sixth floor of a building with no elevator. Your neighbour’s people who the government have forgotten. People living on the margins, with little education and hardly any income, people just trying to survive like you, many of them people you’d avoid at all cost, as dangerous as people you’d meet in the gang only now you hold no status.

You take a breath when you get to the bottom of the steps to your building, mentally preparing for the six flights of steps to come and the lonely flat after that. The damp, the cold, the loneliness, hardly things to look forward to. You hate it, but it’s all you can afford and for the roof it provides you’re happy enough.

“Hello?” You call out into the quiet flat getting no reply.

Unsurprising, though you wonder if you truly are home alone. Jungkook will be out at work, either the personal trainer job or working security at a new club in town. Jimin will probably be holed up in his room doing you don’t know what.

You sigh as you head to the kitchen, routing through the freezer for something to heat up. There are only a few things to eat, nothing exciting but you’re too tired to cook anything.

Life isn’t any better, it’s not any easier, it’s not sunshine and rainbows. Your plan worked. Now you just need to try and get on with life. You knew this would be the outcome, you didn’t expect a life of luxury, you just didn’t quite expect this. The quietness. The monotonous days. The barely scraping by. The loneliness.

It’s been months since everything went down. Months since you ratted to the police, used your leverage in the gang to bring them down. You backstabbed them all, just like they did to you all those years ago. And while your plan paid off, you got what you wanted, you don’t feel complete satisfaction.

It was never something you planned. Or at least you never sat down and plotted it all out. The idea itself manifested over the years, grew from a simple conversation. It was never something you thought you’d do, more a fantasy than reality.

It was Jungkook’s idea originally. A seed he planted in your mind that grew the more distance you had, the longer you had to think it over.

You felt so alone, for so long and then Jungkook appeared. Seeped into your life so thoroughly that you no longer felt as lonely. You’d never trusted anyone enough to tell them your story, but for some reason Jungkook was different. Maybe it was because he was from a similar background, maybe it was because he made you feel less alone or maybe it was just as simple as him listening to you. Whatever it was, piece by piece, it all started to come out of you. Slowly at first, and then one night when you’d had a little bit too much to drink, all at once.

It was Jungkook that planted the seed, a mere comment about how he heard a company going down because of a whistle-blower. The CEO was bullying its staff, guilt tripping them into staying later than they should and never being happy with the outcome of work. Not comparable to your gang or situation at all. But it was that comment that blossomed everything.

For months that turned into years you mulled over the thought. Whistle-blower. Someone on the inside who knows everything that’s going on and reports it. Reports wrongdoings. Can take down the company with mere words.

Your bitterness rotted over time to hatred which quickly turned to vengeance. The fact you had little contact with anyone only made it worse. Sure, it was your father who instigated it, but you’d have thought there would be one person on your side. And even though your brother contacted you, it was so infrequent with so little information that it felt like he needn’t have bothered. It felt like he was doing it as another job, contacting you because he had to not because he wanted to. You resented him; for having it all, for not helping you, for letting you leave, for not standing up to your father.

Whistle-blower. A much nicer word than grass, snitch or rat. Just a word, but a word that made you think maybe you could do it.

You knew so much. And yet part of you knew you’d never do it.

And then you got the call, your father was dead.

Even as you flew back home, the thought still in your mind, you didn’t think you’d go through with it. The funeral was cold, everyone avoiding you as if you were infected. Your meeting with Yoongi didn’t make you feel any better. He wanted proof, wanted you to show he could trust you as if everything you had done up until that point wasn’t enough. Your whole life was to appease them, everything you did was to make them happy. And it was then that you realised that nothing you could do would be good enough. Even if you gave Yoongi proof you doubted he would ever truly welcome you into the family.

Hearing Jimin scream about wanting you out only sealed the deal. If they didn’t want you, you’d show them where they could stick it, show them how strong you could be.

You knew they would be arrogant enough to think you’d want back in, that you’d do anything if it meant you’d get your place alongside them. All you needed to do was play along. Because who wouldn’t want to be part of what they had? No matter how they treated you, no matter how you grew, they’d always think your feelings would remain the same.

But you did grow, you did change. And you realised Jimin was right. The gang wasn’t what you dreamed it was. It wasn’t your family, it wasn’t the only option you had. It didn’t want you. And now you didn’t want it.

Jungkook did most of the work because you weren’t stupid enough to be meeting the police when you were supposed to be looking into your father’s death. He did other things when he drifted off in the mornings on his own, but a lot of the time he was feeding information and planning how best to raid the gang. It was you who suggested that if you found out who the killer was you could line it all up, get the confrontation to be in a place the police could surround.

You knew it was a risk, had been told by everyone who knew what you were doing that it was a risk. They wouldn’t be able to get them all and even if they did, they wouldn’t charge them all. People would know it was you or would be able to connect the dots given long enough. It was a risk to your life and yet you still decided to do it.

After it all went down, the police gave you protection for a bit. Helped get you onto your feet, some money so you could afford a small but relatively safe flat and a rotation of plain clothed officers outside. But when weeks went by with no threats they were quick to decide it was a waste of their money and resources and you were safe. Sure, you helped them, you were key in them getting the evidence to bring the gang down. But the deal was always two sided, they always knew that there was something in it for you, even if that was some sick satisfaction in bringing down your own family.

Is it worse that you did all of this because of revenge, or would it have been worse if you’d been paid off by the police to do it?

And now it’s all done.

But was it worth it? All you have now is a crappy flat you share with Jungkook who you hardly see and Jimin who actively avoids you. A job that barely gets you by. A brother in jail because you put him there. A guilt that will stay with you forever.

No family, barely any friends. You’ve never felt so lonely.

Eyes still half closed from sleep; you look up to wish Jungkook a good morning. Only when you look up it’s not Jungkook you see.

The clattering and movement you heard was Jimin. The guy that lives with you but that you’ve only seen in passing or heard through walls in the past month. Now stood in front of you. Just like you he’s stood staring back at you, only rather than the shock and spark of joy you feel in seeing him, he only looks mildly annoyed back at you.

“Hi,” you say after a long pause, voice breathy even as you try to act normal.

He doesn’t reply, just stares at you for a second more before twisting to look back at the coffee he was making.

Ok, you think, taking a breath before you walk further into the room. The joy still remains, just a little dampened.

“Did you want food with that?” You ask. “I brought some pastries home yesterday from the café. They’re in the bread bin.”

You’re not even sure Jimin’s aware you work in a café, that that’s the wage that’s keeping you all a float, or at least is with the help of Jungkook. And now, Jimin doesn’t say anything or do anything to suggest he cares. His back muscles tense below his top, his shoulders hunched and his face looking resolutely down at the coffee machine.

Deciding he’s not going to give you anything else you move to the bread bin of your own accord. You know he hates you, know he’s probably wishing he weren’t here right now, but he is and you’re not going to let the opportunity pass.

“Well, I’m going to have one,” you mutter, still putting fake happiness into your tone as if to try and prove that this situation isn’t bothering you.

Your eyes keep flicking to Jimin when he’s no longer in your direct line of site. You can still hear him making the coffee and yet you’re worried he’ll disappear into thin air. You can’t blame him for the way he’s acting, part of you is annoyed at him, still hates him and yet you’re worried about him. It’s not good for him to be cooped up for so long, it’s not normal nor healthy. And yet you can’t get him to even look at you.

You wish Jungkook were here. He’d know what to do or say. And maybe Jimin would talk to him.

Pulling two plates out, you place a pastry on each. Awkwardly you turn and place one of them between you and Jimin. It’s not close to him, he’ll have to reach out and get it if he wants it. Worse than that, you imagine, is that he’ll have to turn back in your direction.

Sighing, the happiness getting harder to keep hold of, you decide that it’s not worth sticking around for. He doesn’t want you here. If you can give him anything, then at least you can do that.

“I’ll just,” you mutter, pausing only for a second before grabbing your plate and shuffling to the door. Words you want to say get lodged in your throat and you have to force yourself not to look back at him.

Maybe he is better off without you.

“The usual?”

A smile threatens to lift on the man’s lips. “Do I come here that often?”

“I think the question should be, am I that predictable?”

The man chuckles, his eyes dancing away from you before coming back when he’s controlled the noise. “Well, I already know the answer to that.”

“Black coffee and a croissant then?”

He hums, his eyes going to the counter which holds all the cakes as you start to type in his order.

“Which is your favourite?”

You pause and look at him, he waits with that same smile on his lips. You find your own eyes going to the cakes. No one’s asked that before, no one’s particularly interested in you. Sure, customers ask you questions and take an interest but there’s something about this guy. It’s not weird, just … different.

“Uh,” you pause, trying to keep the smile on your lips. “I like the lemon drizzle.”

He smiles at you, again not weird but something about it makes you uneasy. Especially when he just smiles and doesn’t say anything. You put it down to be an odd customer, maybe he’s lonely. Or maybe it’s you. So unused to someone being interested in you that you’re putting the blame on him rather than on yourself.

He moves to the end of the counter and watches as you prepare his coffee and then pick out a croissant.

“Here you go,” you plaster a smile on your lips as you hand over his coffee and pastry.

“Thanks, Y/N,” he says, eyes darting to your name badge and back.

You heart stutters as you watch him leave. Just a harmless man but you always read into things since leaving. Everyone you meet knows who you are, everyone who looks at you the wrong way wants you dead. Despite leaving the gang in your past, you can’t help but still live that way. Always defensive, always thinking the worst in people. You wonder if you’ll ever be able to shake it off.

“I have an idea,” Jungkook says it casually, but you can hear the note of edge in his voice. He’s expecting you to ask what the idea is but when you don’t enquire he’s forced to carry on. “So, uh, Colin at work mentioned that Ed might be leaving because his ex-contacted him, the one that moved to Scotland, and they were asking if –” Jungkook cuts himself off when he sees your face, realising he’s giving too much detail and not getting to the point. “Anyway, Ed’s leaving so I mentioned to my manager that I might know someone who’d be good for the job.”

You still don’t speak, you think you know what he’s saying from this, but you want to hear him spell it out. For a few seconds there’s a stalemate of silence, Jungkook not wanting to spell it out, you not wanting to assume.

“He needs to get out of the house, he needs to do something,” he’s finally turned to look at you, giving you his full attention.

“You don’t need to plead with me,” you say earning an eye roll. “He’s not going to take it.”

There’s a pause and when Jungkook talks his tone is hesitant, “but, you’ll still ask?”

You can read the meaning behind the words, you caused this, you need to sort it out. There’s no way to argue with that. You did create this mess and you dragged Jungkook into it. He’s at least done something to try and help out. It sounds like you have to do the rest.

“We can’t keep living like this. Only the two of us supporting all three of us. Only just scraping by. He needs to pull his –”

“I get it,” you cut him off. Gritting your teeth, you force your lips into a smile as you narrow your eyes at him. “I’ll ask.”

Jungkook waits, sizes you up as if he can read whether you’re going to do it or not. You’re not sure when your relationship became like this, stilted, forced. Maybe in the gaps between seeing each other. Or maybe when you dragged him over here just to blow everything up. Or maybe it was when he felt the expectation not to leave you, to stay with you and help you through this mess, ruining his own life as well as your own.

You miss him. But just like everything else in your life right now, you don’t know what to do to get him back. You can barely keep your own head above water, how are you supposed to think of anything else?

Taking a small breath, loosening your face so you’re not so tense, you say in a voice that’s more certain, “I’ll ask him.”

Jungkook’s features soften the same way yours do. He nods before walking towards you.

“He’ll come around,” he says, hand going to your shoulder and squeezing gently. “I’ll see you later.”

You swallow, nod even though he’s not looking at you and then mutter, “have a nice day.”

You don’t want to do this. Really don’t want to do this.

It’s just a door. All you have to do is reach a hand out, form a fist and knock. Simple. But it’s who might come to the door that terrifies you, what they might do when they answer the door, or more what they won’t do.

Taking a breath, you knock on the door.

You hear the footsteps, your heart pounding to the same beat they walk. It doesn’t take long for the door to open, Jimin stood staring expectantly at you. Voice caught in your throat it’s him that breaks the silence.

“Want a squash?”

He doesn’t wait for an answer, just brushes past you leaving you standing outside his door. Heart still pounding, blood swirling in your ears you take a second before following. Jimin’s already pouring an inch of squash into a pint glass when you get to the kitchen, no sight of a glass for you.

Stood like a spare part you watch Jimin’s back as he fills his glass with water and then takes a long gulp. Feeling awkward and conscious that you left this conversation until the last possible moment before you need to go to work, you head to the fridge. Almost unseeing you pick out the first thing your fingers land on.

Hip leaning on the counter, Jimin’s dark eyes follow you as you walk around the room, first for a plate, then for a chair at the small breakfast bar that couples as the only place to eat in the flat.

“You wanted to tell me something?” He asks the second you take your first bite of food.

Chewing slowly, you mull over the words while also not wanting to give him too much time to walk out and not speak to you again. It’s the first time it’s occurred to you that maybe Jimin already knows what this is about. It’s a small flat, the walls not exactly thick and you and Jungkook weren’t being careful to stop him overhearing the other day. The fact he might already know what you’re about to suggest only makes you more nervous.

“Jungkook mentioned there’s a job going at his place,” you speak to your food rather than Jimin but when he doesn’t reply you flick your eyes to look up at him.

The glass of squash is empty on the counter next to him. His arms crossed against his chest. His face still broody and eyes half lidded looking at you. You fight the urge to look away from him. There was once a time you took down a whole gang. You can take on Jimin.

“The hours aren’t ideal, but the pays ok,” your voice comes out steady, you’ve always been good at hiding your true feelings behind a mask of indifference. “Jungkook thinks he can get it for you, but he wanted to ask –”

“So why didn’t he?”

It surprises you, makes your heart ache a little how flatly he says it. Still, you hold yourself together. “Because he’s at work. He asked me to pass the message on.”

He hums, a short, unimpressed noise. A noise that makes you twist to take another bite of food. It tastes like sand in your mouth.

“Would you just say it?” You mutter, the ache caused by your heart making you hot headed. You look back at Jimin seeing it’s his time to be surprised. “You clearly have stuff you want to say. So would you just say it already?”

It doesn’t take much convincing. You can see one of his fingers tapping on his crossed arms, his jaw tight.

“You betrayed us, Y/N, why would I ever trust you again?”

“I betrayed you? Jimin, you were the one who always said you wanted out. I got you out.”

“At the cost of my best friend? At the cost of the people who I classed as my family losing everything? At the cost of me losing everything? You think I wanted that?”

It hurts and you don’t point out that he hasn’t lost you, that surely that’s something; because clearly it’s not. Clenching your teeth, you just focus on not showing him your emotions. You didn’t expect your decision to be popular, but you could have let him go down with the rest of them, you thought that would have amounted to something, you thought that would have confirmed some of your feelings you had for him were still there.

“You betrayed your own family, Y/N,” he’s looking at you as if he doesn’t recognise you and it breaks you that much more.

You didn’t want to fight with him. You expected him to be angry with you, to say things that upset you, you just thought you’d be able to take it better than you are. But it all hits you. The emotions long bottled inside you finally come crashing out.

“My family?” You bite, frowning at the words, your hurt boiling down into frustration. “What family, Jimin? Tell me when they ever treated me like family? Was it when they forced me out, or when they refused to welcome me back? Maybe it was when they failed to recognise the fact that even as a woman I could do as much as them?”

He shakes his head but doesn’t reply verbally. It tells you everything. He has no argument against anything you’ve just said. And yet he still defends them.

“I’m not expecting a thank you. I don’t expect you to necessarily forgive me, but come on, you need to move on at some point. I’m doing all of this, giving you a home, the least you can do is contribute a little.” Or just leave, you add in your head.

A nerve ticks in his jaw. Despite his words and the way he now looks at you, you still feel hope. He doesn’t have anywhere to go, but if he hated you that much he could have left by now. He’s not contributing anything to this household, but at least he’s still here.

Still, you worry about him. Despite your words, you don’t want him to leave. You hardly see him, and yet if he wasn’t here you think that would be your breaking point.

“Let me know what you want to do about the job,” you sigh the words as you stand from the table.

Taking the bowl to the sink you place it with the rest of the dirty dishes, knowing you’ll have to clean them later but not having the energy to do it now. With Jungkook working two jobs and Jimin clearly not wanting to be here it always falls on you. You try and not let it get to you but sometimes you wonder if all of this was a mistake. Maybe you should have stayed away. Maybe you should never have come back.

As you turn to leave Jimin speaks, stopping you.

“There’s just one thing I keep wondering,” you wait for him to say it, your features hard so as not to betray your feelings. “Why did you come back for me? Why did you get me out?”

Your focus is on the door rather than him. You’ve been expecting this, not least because you’ve been questioning it yourself. Even Jungkook brings it up at any opportunity he can.

“Because you wanted out,” you say and before you can think better of it, carry on. “And honestly, Jimin, at this point if you don’t know why, then you clearly don’t know me at all.”

Before he can come back with anything you carry on towards the door. You’ve got things you need to be doing, even if Jimin doesn’t, you’re trying to get back into a normal life.

“Let me know if you want that job.”

Your life becomes monotonous. A drag of waking up early to clean the flat, heading off to work and doing long shifts, coming home to a quiet house that is mess of dishes and clothes again, a storm left behind in Jungkook and Jimin’s wake. You don’t berate Jungkook, he’s doing so much for you that you can tolerate cleaning up after him. But some days that thought doesn’t make it any easier. You couldn’t complain to Jimin if you wanted to, still hardly ever see him.

It’s lonely, boring, a life you never thought you’d have. And yet here you are.

You carry on going only because of Jungkook and Jimin. Though you never see them, you feel like you’re why they’re here. If you hate this, then they surely hate it. You caused this, the least you could is not abandon them.

Slowly, you open up to people at work. Enough that you can have small conversations with them on breaks, but not enough that they know anything significant about you. They’re still more co-workers than friends. But it’s nice to have people in your life to talk to even if it is mainly about the weather and their lives.

It’s repetitive. Boring. Lonely. And you start to find the only thing that helps is a glass of wine in the evenings. Not much, but even the small amount of alcohol helps take the edge off. It helps your mind become quieter, helps the day feel less long, helps you actually look forward to something. It helps your heart stop aching. Helps you drift off to sleep a little easier.

“So, uh, I have to tell you something.”

“What?” You ask as you shove the jam covered slice of toast into your mouth, only half listening to Jungkook as you pour a cup of tea.

“Can you sit for a minute?”

“I have to get to the shop for opening.”

“Y/N,” he doesn’t say it sharply, but the tone he uses is still enough to get you to look at him. “It’ll only take a minute. Please, will you just sit?”

It does its job, you finally stop long enough to look at him. You hadn’t realised just how nervous he was. He’s holding it together but you can see it in his tense shoulders and stiff posture. Your nerves peak as you place your toast on a plate and stop pouring your tea. You don’t rush to sit down, your mind whirling with thoughts of what he could possibly be about to tell you.

“You’re worrying me,” you say when Jungkook doesn’t immediately spit it out.

“It’s nothing. Well, it’s not. But it’s good.”

“Ok?”

He pauses, the silence only increasing the sick feeling in your stomach, only increasing the amount of thoughts swimming around your head. You’re about to tell him to hurry up but he beats you to it.

“I met someone,” he rushes to say. “A girl. And she’s asking me to move in with her.”

A wave of emotions run over you. Surprise, since when did that happen? Anger, because moving in with someone is a big thing, which means he must have been hiding this from you for a while. Hurt, that he didn’t talk to you, that he hid this from you. And a sad happiness for him. Because although he looks worried you can see the hope and desire there, he wants your approval for this but worries you won’t give it.

“Who is she?”

“A girl I met at work.”

“And you know her well enough to be moving in together?”

He’s flushed but keeps a straight face. “I met her my first day, but we only started dating a few months ago.”

Months. Your heart drops with the information. Because he never told you about it, because he has more of a life than you, because it only solidifies how lonely you are. He’s your family and he’s only telling you about his girlfriend, someone he likes enough to be moving in with, months after they met. You once would have been the first person he told. He once would have been too excited to keep the information from you. You once would have been too observant for him to even try and hide something like this from you.

And just like that, more walls of your life crumble around you.

Heart beating in your throat you try not to show him your emotions. It’s been easy to hide how depressed you’ve felt recently from him, more because you hardly see him, but you’re also a master at hiding behind a mask. Now, you have to turn away from him to hide your face, a sure fire way to tell him just how you feel.

Predictably, you hear him take a step in your direction, “it won’t change –”

“I know,” you curse your tight throat as another give away.

“I’ll come back all the time,” he adds. “I can still help you with bills.”

“Don’t be stupid,” you say before taking a deep breath and looking back at him, forcing a smile onto your lips. “I’m happy for you.”

He doesn’t look convinced. But before he can continue to protest you carry on.

“You don’t need my permission.”

“But I’d like it,” he says, slipping into your old roles. “There’s not enough room for me here and we can’t all live here together forever. But I also don’t want to leave you here. I know you’re struggling but we all need to move on from what’s happened.”

Move on from the mess you made. Move on from the betrayal. If everything had gone to plan you would have moved on, or at least Jungkook would have. Jimin would have been behind bars. You would have been on your own wallowing the same way you are now. Maybe there was a small part of you that hoped you’d be able to move on too, to make something of yourself, to start a new life. But a large part of you knew this would be your life. You at least imagined you’d be able to pretend, push your thoughts down deep, try to not think of your brother and Jimin locked up all day, of Jungkook moving on.

Jungkook has only stuck around so long because you changed plans, because you went back for Jimin. Jungkook deserves to go live his life.

“You think leaving me and Jimin here alone is a good thing?” You feel guilty as soon as you say the words.

He shrugs, avoids your eyes as he says, “maybe it’ll help bring you closer.”

You glare at him. “He barely leaves his room.”

“Maybe you should force him out a bit more.”

“And how am I supposed to do that?”

You regret the words instantly, but even though Jungkook has time to flash you a cheeky smile, you don’t have time to interrupt him before he says, “I can think of several things that you could do to get Jimin out of that room.”

“Gross,” you say flatly, pushing past him. “If you’re saying all of this to get me to tell you to leave, it’s working.”

There’s a small chuckle behind you, but there’s no smile on your lips now. Your heart still thumps in your throat.

You’re happy for him, really you are. It’s just sad. You can’t help but feel like everyone’s slipping away from you.

It’s no good, with Jungkook gone it fixes nothing between you and Jimin.

Jungkook visits still but it’s not the same. While he’s getting on with his life, creating something new, you’re still stuck. In a different place, under different circumstances but going nowhere. And now you don’t have anyone.

You grow lonelier. Hardly seeing anyone besides the people at work. Inside your own head more only makes things worse. Gives you time to remember how things used to be, how different it is now. It makes you remember the smiles. Because life wasn’t always bad, there were good times.

And you ruined it all.

You brought this on you. You couldn’t get over the fact your family didn’t want you and you destroyed it for everyone. There’s no pretending that there wasn’t good from it, that you were helping people as much as ruining many people’s lives. But it was selfish, you did it all for you. And now you can’t help but wonder if it was worth it.

To be in this tiny flat, barely getting by. With Jungkook moved out and moving on. Hardly seeing Jimin, the little you do he says little and avoids your gaze. Your brother in jail. You have no one.

And still you get up every day. Still you clean and cook and go to work. You try to carry on with your life as best you can. Try to push the bad thoughts away. Try and pretend life is normal.

Jimin’s door is open when you get home. It feels like slow motion as you walk to the door frame and creak open the door and peer in. Empty.

This is it, you think, he’s finally left me.

Your eyes glance around the small room. A single bed, blue sheets crisp and neatly tucked in. Cream shades pulled down over the window to block the night out. A wooden chest of draws leaving enough room to shuffle between it and the bed. A small desk, only big enough for a lamp and laptop. No personality. No indication of who lives here. No attachment, ready to be left at the drop of a hat.

He wouldn’t leave, would he? Part of you thinks he would. But the other part thinks of his room, all of his stuff still sat in there and thinks he wouldn’t leave without it. Another part hopes he wouldn’t leave without saying goodbye.

Maybe he’s just gone out, the first time you’ve caught him doing that, you expect because he only ever risks leaving his room when he knows he won’t see you. But Jungkook text you earlier letting you know Jimin finally accepted the job, so maybe this is the start of him getting back into himself.

You know it’s your insecurities talking. Because though you don’t doubt Jimin doesn’t wants to be here, you also know he has nowhere else to go. He doesn’t have the money from his job yet, he’s still having to rely on you.

You walk back to the kitchen, get as far as opening the fridge to see what you can find to eat for tea. But you stop there. A thought occurs to you.

It’s stupid really. He’s probably just gone out for food or to the pub. But you can’t stop thinking about it when the thought occurs.

What if he’s on the roof?

He won’t be. And even if he is what would that mean? That he wanted some fresh air probably. But he won’t even be there.

You take a box of leftovers out of the fridge walk over and place it by the microwave but get no further.

What if he’s on the roof?

The thought takes you over enough that you end up forgetting about food and instead head to the front door again. You don’t even put your coat on as you head up the stairs rather than down them. You feel a little out of breath when you reach the steel door at the top. Pausing you take a breath, try to wrangle your thumping heart into a box, settle your expectations so that you won’t be disappointed.

The door feels cold as you push it open. Your heart plumets when you first see empty space, but then soars when you see a figure huddled off to the side. You can’t stop the words escaping your mouth.

“Thought I’d find you here.”

Jimin looks across at you, his eyes are heavy and make him look like he’s had little sleep. His smile is small and compared to his normal smile does nothing to light up his face. But it’s still a smile.

“It’s not quite the same as our roof.”

Our roof. The words make your breath catch in your throat. Looking out at the night to hide your emotions at the words you walk towards him until you can rest on the ledge next to him.

“The views not as good,” you agree after a few seconds of silence.

He hums in reply, a silence falling over the two of you. It’s not just the view that’s different, it’s everything. The silence eats at you in a way it never has before when you’ve been with Jimin. He’s lost his spark and you can’t help but blame yourself for that. You’ve changed his life, whether or not it’s for the better you made such a monumental decision on his behalf without considering how it might affect him. While you’re in no doubt he would have done the same for you, you can’t help but let the decision eat away at you. Should you have done it? Would it be better if you hadn’t dragged him away under false pretence? Would it be easier for him to hate you if he wasn’t sat next to you?

“Jungkook told me you’d accepted the job at the club,” you say meekly, not wanting to rock the boat too much. “I’m happy for you.”

Jimin doesn’t respond, doesn’t hum or nod like he normally does when you talk to him these days. And like always you try and pretend it doesn’t hurt you.

“And hey, maybe it’ll mean you can start paying towards the bills.”

As soon as the words leave your lips you regret them. Even though you say them in a light-hearted tone, clearly as a joke, you know Jimin won’t hear it that way. He’s probably thinking that you mean it, that you want him to give you money, that you want him gone. All of which is the opposite of what you want.

“Sorry I –”

“No,” he cuts you off with a mutter. “You’re right, I should be doing more.”

Well shit.

That was the last thing you expected him to say, which effectively stops your brain from coming up with any other words.

The two of you stand in silence looking out at the city. The noise of the road and some young people shouting and laughing reaches you from the street below. Part of you hates this, but another part doesn’t want to do anything to stop it. At least Jimin’s here. At least you’re not entirely alone. At least you’re not fighting.

“I went to see Yoongi.”

Your head snaps his way. When did he do that? How had he done that? The questions forms in your head but your mouth is unable to create the words. Jimin doesn’t look at you, his features not showing any emotions. He’s impossible to read. But, despite your silence, he must know what questions you want to ask as he goes on to answer them all.

“I found out where they locked him up and requested visitation. I wasn’t expecting it to be accepted, I thought the second they had him they’d throw away the key. It took a few weeks, but my request was accepted.”

Your breath becomes laboured. Your brain working faster than Jimin can get the words out, trying to second guess what he’s going to say.

In the pause after his words he finally turns to look at you. His eyes dart around your face as if trying to remember you. You wait, give him time to say whatever it is he’s thinking. Your heart hoping, but your mind reminding you how much you’ve hoped in the past and how every time Jimin’s let you down.

“Why didn’t you tell me?”

Now it’s you avoiding his face. The words, the way he says them and the gentle yet pained look on his face makes your throat dry. You can’t answer him. You don’t know what he wants you to say, because even if you had an answer, you don’t know how it would make it better.

“You let me think this whole time you’d locked him up,” he carries on. “But you made a plea deal for him.”

It’s not a question but you still find yourself nodding in confirmation.

“Why didn’t you tell me?” He repeats.

“I wasn’t sure he’d accept the deal,” you say, not the real answer. After a beat you add, “would it have changed anything?”

“Maybe,” he mutters but you know it’s a lie. It wouldn’t have changed anything, it’s one of the reasons you never said anything.

The silence drags out. Both of you staring out at the world below you, cars honking, people getting on with their lives, buildings standing steady and tall. The world hasn’t changed, it’s still going on. It doesn’t provide any comfort. All these weeks you’ve been struggling, silently getting on with life and Jimin’s been seeing Yoongi and clinging onto your old life, blaming you for everything.

You’ve had enough of it.

“You know,” you say, ignoring the fact that your voice his raspy and full of emotion. “It still hurts that you don’t believe in me. It’s stupid, because you’d think I’d be used to it by now, but you really have a knack for making be me believe you. I could have told you about Yoongi, but would that have changed anything? You’re only saying all this because you feel guilty, but you’ve always thought the bare minimum of me until I’ve proved the opposite. I’ve always had to work for your approval, Jimin, no matter what you want to think. And it’s stupid, but it still breaks me when you automatically think the worst of me. After everything I’ve done to show you the opposite.” You pause, still unable to look at Jimin, unable to see what he must be thinking. “I didn’t know he would accept it,” you mutter, voice once again thick. “I set up the option for him to work with the police, but I didn’t think he’d actually take it.”

You push away from the wall and as you walk away Jimin doesn’t try to stop you. His head twists to look back out across the city, his body slumping a little deeper into the wall as you turn to walk back to the flat.

[yanderepuck]

Salai-Chapter 6

WELCOME TO SALAI'S ROUTE. This is a FAN MADE route of my oc, Salai. This means this route contains my headcanons for the characters and in no way is suppose to represent the canon story. This is just a fun little time because I know many of you enjoy Salai. Feel free to engage, talk theories, send asks (even to @ask-salai ).

DISCLAIMER: His route his not canon to his character. Also, all of his lore in not in the route for simplicity reasons plus please feel free to ask about him.

Banner by @spooscribbles

You convinced Salai to do the gallery, and now you just need to get Theo here to help figure out which paintings he would want to display.   You sit on the couch and the two of you start talking while he paints a little bit.  Batuffola curls up beside you to cuddle. 

Mitsuki: So who are you looking for?

Salai: My Maestro.  We had a falling out years ago and he left me.  He was a popular artist so we moved around to where he would get work.   But we got into an argument not long after getting to Vienna.

His voice gets softer as he remembers.  Taking his time almost like he isn’t trying to cry.  You look at him and those eyes of his were as dark as a storm at sea.  They were remembering the pain he felt.

Salai: He left me.  I didn’t know the language… I barely had any money…

Mitsuki: And you are looking for him?

Salai: Yes, I-

Mitsuki: So you can tell him off

Salai: What?  N-no!  He means a lot to me.  He saved my life, on more than one occasion.  I want to make things right with him.

Mitsuki: He sounds like an awful person

Salai: It…it is hard to explain everything.

He starts to pull at the hem of his sleeves.  You let out a sigh.  You don’t know his story, who are you to judge?  There are surely things he doesn’t feel comfortable sharing.

Salai: Once I heard he was in Paris I did what I could to get here.  I haven’t been here for long and I don’t expect to find him immediately. 

Mitsuki: I’m sorry.  No one deserves to go through that.

Even back in your time with having technology you couldn’t imagine being stuck somewhere you didn’t know the language and didn’t have any money.

Salai: Sorry. I shouldn’t have gotten the mood down.  Are you hungry?  I could make us something to eat.

He’s back to smiling again, but his eyes are still dull.  He might be able to change his body language and the tone of his voice but he can’t hide it in his eyes.

Mitsuki: Andrea, you don’t need to-

He gets off his stool and goes over to the little kitchen.

Salai: I made my own ravioli a few days ago, but I tend to add a lot of spices. So I could make us just a normal pasta with a cream sauce if you would like.

He’s trying to change the subject, not wanting to linger on the emotional talk you two just had.  You just realized that if he’s offering to make dinner… How late is it?  You look down at the watch on your wrist and it's nearly 6pm.

Mitsuki: Shoot!  I need to get back.

You quickly get up, apologizing to Batuffola for disturbing her.

Mitsuki: I’m sorry, Andrea.  I didn’t intend to be out so long and I need to get back to make dinner.

Salai: Oh…right… Let me walk you to the main road.

He tried to hide the hint of sadness in his voice but it didn’t work.

Mitsuki: It’s just right around the bend, right?  I’m sure I’ll be fine.  I really need to get going.

You didn’t want everyone worrying about you, and there was no need for him to walk you out.  You may have been warned about the area but you remember where you came from.

Mitsuki: I’ll see you tomorrow maybe. Goodnight

You wave and head out.  Salai hesitated for a moment, but then also realized how late it was.

Salai: Mitsuki!  Wait!

He put down the pot he was holding and rushed to the door to quickly put his cape on.  He wasn’t offering simply to be nice, but also because it's dangerous.  It’s like you completely forgot.

You quickly went down the stairs and out the door.  Once you stepped outside you remembered where you were.  You are close to what you thought was the red light district.  Maybe if you just walk quickly and pay attention to no one you will be fine.  Yeah.  That will work.  It wasn’t that far from the main road. 

You start walking, picking up your pace as you walk past alleys.  Just as you are about to turn the corner your arm gets grabbed

Man: Where do you think you’re headed?

Mitsuki: Get off me!

You start to panic.  You really should have waited.  You try to push the man away.

Man: If you weren’t looking for someone then what are you doing in this area

The man holds you against a wall.

Man: Aren’t you a cutie

Salai: Let her go!

Your eyes lit up when you heard that voice.

Mitsuki: Andrea!

Man: Sorry fella. Finders keepers.

Salai: I said let her go!

He got a lot angrier.  Next thing you knew Salai was grabbing the man by his shoulder and ripping him from you.  The man is much bigger than Salai, you aren’t sure how he pulled that off, but that isn’t what is in the front of your mind right now.

Salai: Are you hurt?

In a panic he quickly looked over your body and didn’t see anything and let out a sigh of relief. Then turned around to face the man who was coming at him to punch him.  He ducked at the swing and punched the man in the gut, and as he was doubled over he kicked his foot up into his jaw.

You moved to the side, watching the fight play out.  The man pulled out a knife and started slashing it in the air.  Salai moved back each time but eventually got a wall to his back.  The man went to slash at him again, and by some instinct you ran over to hold onto the man’s arm to stop him.  Salai took that opportunity to grab the man’s head and slam it into the wall.

He fell to the ground groaning. Salai stepped on his hand to make him drop the knife and kicked it away. 

You took a few steps back to catch your breath.

Mitsuki: I-I’m sorry.  I-I wasn’t thinking and I-

Salai suddenly hugged you, holding you close to him.

Salai: You’re okay and that’s what is important

He didn’t let you go for a while.  He wanted to keep you safe in his arms.  When he finally let you go, he happened to see your arm.

Salai: You’re bleeding!

He lifts your arm.  When you grabbed the man’s arm the blade of the knife must have slashed you.  You’re filled with so much adrenaline that you didn’t even feel it.

Salai: Come on. Let’s get that bandaged.

He takes your hand and walks you back to his apartment.  When you first got here you couldn’t help but notice how run down of an area he lived in, but when you had to go you somehow forgot about that.  The front door didn’t seem to close all the way when he ran out but when he got up to his apartment he realized he never grabbed his keys.

Salai: Crap… I didn’t grab my key

Mitsuki: do you maybe-

You looked around to see if there was a place he might have hidden a spare, but you look at him and he’s kneeling down, picking the lock to his own apartment.

Mitsuki: Or..do that.

Within seconds he has the door open and helps you inside.  Batuffola is there at the door to greet you both.

Salai: yes, hello bella. 

He takes you over to his bed and has you sit there.

Salai: stay right there.

The bathroom was on this side of the room.  He turned to go in there and grab a few things.

Now that you are starting to calm down you are starting to feel the pain.  There’s not a lot of blood, but there is enough.  He comes back with a damp rag and some bandages.  He uses the rag to clean up the blood and to put pressure on it to stop the bleeding.

Mitsuki: He didn’t hurt you, did he?

Salai: Me?  No, I'm fine.

He pushed his hair back and out of his face.

It’s quiet for a few more moments other than Batuffola purring.

Mitsuki: How did you learn how to fight like that?

Salai: I’ve been in quite a few bar fights actually.  I’ve cut it close a few times.

Mitsuki: Really? What for?

Salai: Just stupid things.

He takes the rag off of your arm and you let out a hiss.  The bleeding has slowed down so he wraps your arm in the bandage.

Salai: I know you said you needed to get back, but why don’t you stay here for the night?  If you need me to come with you in the morning to explain what happened so you don’t get in trouble I will.  I just don’t think you should be out there right now.

He didn't realize it, but he rested his chin on your lap, and looked up at you as he pleaded.  Nor did you realize that you brushed your fingers through his hair.

Mitsuki: You don’t need to come with me, I won’t get in trouble.

Both of your movements seemed to be natural.  Salai finally stands up, wanting to take the bloody rag back to the bathroom, but Batuffola was next to him and he didn’t realize, and tripped over his own feet, falling forwards on top of you.

You fall onto your back onto the bed. Salai stopped himself from falling onto you completely by having his hands on either side of you. You felt your face get flushed.  It’s not like he was any closer than before, but it’s the position that you are in.  Your heart is pounding, and your chest feels tight.  This can’t possibly be the feeling you think it is.

Do you have feelings for him?

~~~

Masterlist | Previous | Next

Tag list: @chandeliermichel @fang-and-feather @namine-somebodies-nobody @evil-quartett @lokis-laugh @candied-boys @breadmercury @aquagirl1978 @xenokiryu @lulu-the-smol-floof @tako-cafe @floydsteeth @spoopy-fish-writes @weird-profiterole @love-v @lamislovelies @specters0rd @morgiemorg @solacedeer

If you would like to be added to the list please let me know

Ko-Fi

[shock]

This one is definitely my favorite so far in my collage solar system, so I wanted to post it. Hopefully I'll get some nice scans once all the pieces are done, but here's a spotlight on Neptune Side 1, "MEMORY".

The photos on the left are all pictures I took as a kid with film my gammaw got me before she died, and most of them are from the same day we took a walk together. The photos on the right all include her except for one. I can't remember HOW I managed to get ahold of the time they hired a stripper for her birthday, but I've always found that set of photos to be really evocative and I feel like I found the perfect use for them! 🤣

The text reads:

One fine day in 2006, a wild deer wandered into a Target store. When animals are traumatized, we make careful, logical calculations. Which is what the deer did.

After falling down the stairs, skidded around for a half hour, like when Odysseus opened a bag of captive winds, would surrender for a second, then dash from one event to the next. Until out of sheer frustration, I threw a bucket. But it made the deer race right through the window.

"F---ed up beyond all recognition."

If I had known what that maneuver would cost, I would probably have let the deer go.

A couple of days before she died, she took me to the ocean.

My log adds, I had some nice things to eat. I have never seen a being, human or animal, always so full of joy. Talking to her filled me with the power of the sun.

I wanted to hug her, but I didn't. I literally forgot to put my arms around her. We talked again that night on a ship-to-ship radio frequency. You weren't supposed to talk long on that because others might need it.

The next day, she died. I went into the woods, trying to clear my head. I could hear the deer breathing in the darkness. It was weird.

The day after she died, I called and cried. I don't like to yell or scream, but a bad storm brings something out of me. Not until I knew there's be no response did I realize how much pleasure I had taken in calling her. I bellowed up at the approaching storm: All right, you have the power of life and death! Love's no good! I know it! I had so many meetings with different people, I forgot! I'm sorry! So deafen me with your thunder! Go on, then! Scorch up my brains! I defy you! I'll defy you to my last breath!

Who was I defying? God? The deer? The storm? It didn't do any good to make noises of my own.

Sleeping helps. In dreams, I reach out my hand and grab the disease with my fist, drive that f---ed cancer back across an entire wavelength, refuse to contemplate the distant future, have a great talk with her held safely inside my arms.

I think It's worst than a nightmare. It's slow torture, it will drive you crazy, cunningly spooled and folded scenarios spin out in your mind.

Two years ago, I watched tapes of her that only reminded me of how I wanted to hear live people. It took me years to learn how to use them.

It is always interesting to see how situations change and people move from one to the other. Then you walk around a rock, and there it is: names and drawings, graffiti, all of one trade— MEMORIES carved in the rock:

Her life was a gift to me. She'd given me a greater one.

She sounded good.

I got the message. Follow the noise.

Retrace my route between the images of a continuous narrative. I went to the spot where she took her last breath. By then I could hear the deer running through the brush. I called again. This time, with a smile.

It worked. I made contact again.

Of course I knew this time she couldn't come, so my approach changed:

All right, REFLECTIONS can't support life.

That's okay. Keep moving.

GO AHEAD AND FREAK OUT.

Keeping busy helps, too— She lived every moment as though it were her last. It was wonderful.

I love her very much.

Do you want to know a secret?

I transformed into something grown for the pure happiness it brings me.

I feel really good now.

My attention most days is on the here and now.

It's the only real escape there is.

[zozo-01]

"you’ve learned a long time ago to stop thinking things would change. (it didn't stop you from hoping anyways.)"

So, it's that time of year again, and I don't have the Raptors to distract me. It's the NHL playoffs and I am a Leafs fan. If you know, you know. I wrote this a year ago for myself and @thatlesbeanjew because being a hockey fan is not the faint of heart, and I completely forgot to post it to Tumblr ;-;. The title is from Jason's Spezza's retirement article and I think it applies well here.

For my sports (specifically hockey) fans who're in an toxic relationship with your favourite team, here's some southern comfort for you.

CW: author is being sentimental about grown men playing a game, i wrote this with the last years Bruins' collapse in mind (sorry tay), but no team is mentioned!!, city wolf darlin makes a comeback, Fluff, Comfort, so much comfort, someone send me to therapy

--

There’s never an easy way to say goodbye.

No one wants to say goodbye, and even if it has to be said, let it be said with finality, with a sense of accomplishment. That even if this is the end, the journey was enjoyable. That the blood, sweat, tears (and really dumb questions) were worth it. That the years, your childhood, spent hoping were worth it.

No one wants to end on a whimper, especially if it’s broadcasted on national TV.

They still can’t believe that final goal went in.

Darlin’ stared at the TV, watching the series-winning goal over and over again. Their eyes tried to rewrite history, using what magic they have to will the puck to not cross the red line. Go wide right, hit the post, or even knock a player's teeth out for all they care! All their efforts were for naught. The goal still goes in, the building goes silent save for the cheers from the opposing team, and the season was over.

It was hard to believe that just a moment ago, their body was buzzing with anxiety, every sensation was cranked up to an eleven. Only for all that excitement collapsing inside their body, creating a black hole within their heart, numbing them to the result of the game in front of them.

All of that emotional investment just to get the same result. They felt silly for letting themselves dream, believe, with nothing to prove their faith. Everyone around them had been right, but they insisted on their foolish delusion, stubborn to the very end for this hockey team that has brought them nothing but pain.

Darlin’ had always preferred the painful route, embodying the sentiment that ‘love is pain’. It just so happened that it applied to more than the people in their life.

Their legs lost all their strength, causing them to fall backwards onto the couch. Their eyes stayed glued to the screen, ears ringing louder than any goal horn they’d heard in their life. Part of them wished they had never decided to care for this stupid team that only does stupid things and makes them cheer like a stupid idiot.

Ok, maybe this seems like an exaggerated reaction to a hockey team losing a game, but truly, this is how Darlin’ felt at this moment.

And Sam knew it.

They barely registered the soft blanket wrapping around their shoulders, but the warmth helped ground them a little bit. Sam always knew how to bring them out of their daze, with gentle pressure and plenty of space. Always giving them the choice of when to ask for help, a choice they’ve found themselves making more often.

They heard the faint clink of a plate on the coffee table in front of them. But what had knocked them out of their trance was Sam finally turning off the damn TV. It didn’t stop the goal horn from ringing in their ears, but at least they didn’t have to see that fucking rat’s shit-eating grin again. Who the fuck does he think he is? Fuck that guy, fuck that team, fuck everything-

They blinked repeatedly, feeling Sam’s hand playing with their hair. “I can feel your rage from here,” he chuckled. “Can’t imagine what you’re plannin’ to do to the other team in that pretty brain of yours.” Slowly, he shifted his arm to wrap around their shoulder to pull them closer to his chest. The tension that built up in their forehead had finally gone away when they heard his heartbeat. “Knowin’ you, you’re plannin’ something nefarious.”

“...I know where they’re stayin’,” they mumbled, nuzzling their face deeper into Sam’s chest. “That’s all I’ll say about that.”

He kissed their hair line and pulled them closer. “For the record, I will not be an accessory to your murderous rampage.” The small smile on their face prompted him to continue. “But I promise I won’t tell no one about your little scheme.” Leave it to Sam to make them smile when all they want to do is curl under a blanket and bleach the game from their mind.

They huffed in his chest. “I appreciate you not snitchin’ on me, but come on? You ain’t gonna help your mate with the body? Fake ass bitch.” Darlin’ let out a quiet giggle. Seeing the southern man deadpan at them is a surefire way to make them smile.

He pinched their nose and scoffed, “forgive me if I don’t want to see my mate in jail because a hockey team decided to beat your team.”

They pout at his statement, not appreciating the blunt tone he used. Come to think of it, when he puts it like that, their reaction to the ending of this game seems ridiculous. Wanting to kill grown men for doing their job? Because they just happen to beat their team? They’re a grown adult damn it! They’re better than being emotional over a team!

Sam flicked their forehead, knocking them out of their spiral. He pulled his wolf closer to him, letting their head rest on his shoulder. “No self-deprecatin’ spiral for you, Darlin’. You’re allowed to feel shitty over a game.” He continued to pet their hair, content with sitting in silence until they were ready to speak.

Darlin’ kissed his cheek and sighed. “I know, I know, I’m valid with my feelins’, it’s just…” They trailed off, biting their bottom lip while trying to articulate their thoughts into words. If only incoherent screaming was enough for Sam to understand their emotions. “When I say this team has sucked for my entire life… there hasn’t been a year where shit has gone right for us.”

Their vision blurred as they continued. “And I’m so fuckin’ tired of- of having hope that things will end different and then they never do!” The more words that poured out of them, the more anger bled into their voice. “It’s like, come on! They’ve had decades and so many different fuckin’ players and management to get their shit together and they never do! How much longer do they think people are gonna blindly follow them until…” A sob crept up their throat. “...Until we all decide to just… not care.”

They sighed in frustration. “I know it’s so stupid to fuckin’ care about a stupid team this much… I don’t know… They were the only good thing from my childhood.” Darlin’ chuckled at their last statement. “God, how has mt life been if this fuckin’ team was the best part?”

He rubbed their arm to comfort them. “Well on the bright side, it led you to my arms, so could it have been that bad?” Darlin’ pinched his chest, but that only caused their vampire to laugh harder. “Am I wrong, Darlin’? You seem to be enjoyin’ my arms a little too much,” he teased, acting as if it was a complaint against them. They both knew that Sam would rather die again than see his wolf in another person’s arms.

He held their face in his hands. Sam knew every little habit and quirk that Darlin’ had, and he knew that they wouldn’t look him in the eyes whenever they got emotional like this. “Darlin’, I need you to look at me please.”

They did as he asked them to, lifting their gaze and getting lost in his silver eyes. He kissed their forehead, whispering a soft ‘thank you’ against their skin. They don’t know if he’ll ever understand how fucking terrifying it was to have someone know them so well. But they wouldn’t trade that blissful feeling for anything else.

“It’s not stupid to care about this team, Darlin’. They were a huge part of your best memories as a kid. And maybe you will get tired of them one day and it will suck. But there’s no shame in lovin’ unconditionally.”

Darlin’s vision blurred again and cleared their throat to stop themselves from sobbing. “Even if they hurt me over and over again?”

Sam smirked, “well if they hurt you again, I’ll have to pay a visit down to their office and make sure they win.” Darlin’ scoffed at his cockiness but didn’t stop him from continuing. “‘Sides, like you always say.”

“Oh God, don’t say it-”

“There’s always next year.”

“I’m gonna fuckin’ kill you.”

[nightghoul381]

Ellis Twilight~ Main Route Chapter 5

Disclaimer for route warnings | Masterlist

Additional Content Warnings: None

This a fan translation so it is definitely not 100% accurate. I do not own anything related to Ikemen Villains. Support Cybird by buying their amazing stories!

The next morning- When I reported yesterday’s incident, Jude had received similar information.

Victor: “A ‘circus’?...”

Jude: “The circus group seems to have disbanded a long time ago.”

Kate: “Huh!?”

Ellis: “Disbanded…?”

Jude: “The Grace Circus Troupe”

Jude: “After a successful run in London, the maggots who flock to success cheated him outta his money, put him in debt and everything went up in flames.”

Jude: “The troupe disbanded quickly.”

(Well then…)

Kate: “We heard that Mr. Bill’s missing friend had been ‘recruited’”

Kate: “It’s impossible for someone to be recruited to a circus group that’s been disbanded. The recruitment has nothing to do with the kidnapping, right?”

Ellis: “Or someone is lying and pretending to be recruiting for a circus group to lure in victims.”

Victor: “I wonder if the Grace Circus Troupe still exists behind the scenes, even if it’s outwardly disbanded.”

Victor: “Or maybe it’s the work of someone pretending to be the Grace Circus Troupe…”

Victor: “…It seems that additional investigation is needed, including in that area.”

Victor: “Jude, Ellis, Kate, thank you for the information.”

Victor: “The fair ended yesterday so please take a break for now.”

I take a deep breath as I stare at Victor’s back as he leaves, his long hair fluttering behind him.

(As Fairytale Keeper, perhaps all I’m required to do is write down the crimes of the Crown members…)

(But I wish I could help stop this incident before there are more victims.)

(--That’s right, the report!)

As a storyteller, I try to think back on whether I had witnessed a crime that I could write about.

(Hmm… Ellis and Jude didn’t commit any crimes, did they?)

(Come to think of it, I wonder if Ellis would ever commit a crime that I could write about in the report…)

(…Maybe it would be easier to write down Jude’s sins, since he’s so hated that his life is threatened.)

Jude: “What, don’t act like yer thinkin’ somethin’ rude.”

Kate: “What!? N-no I wasn’t!”

Jude: “So ya really had the courage to go on stage ‘n put yer body on the line?”

Part 2

Jude: “So ya really got the courage to go on stage ‘n put yer body on the line, do ya?”

Kate: “Why did you say that?”

Ellis: “Did you see it?”

Jude: “Yer at a fair, ya can’t help but see a big stage like that.”

Jude: “I thought she’d have refused the escort if she was a troublesome woman who was scared to death at every turn.”

Jude narrows his eyes as if he’s inspecting me again.

Jude: “Ya got guts, if ya want, you can come along.”

Kate: “Y…yes.”

(Does that mean you approve of me a little?)

Jude: “Ellis, yer the one who got her involved in the first place. Yer in charge.”

Ellis: “Yeah, I know. Good for you, Kate.”

(This was good…I guess.)

And so—I ended up spending my days following Jude and Ellis’ work.

We were attacked by business rivals and thugs once every three days,

A few days passed as I wrote in my notebook about the two people who would get revenge for even more outrageous behavior.

Then, when the “fairytale keeper’ work for the day was finished…

Ellis: “Kate, I’ve found a nice restaurant, would you like to stop off and go home?”

Ellis always called out to me.

Today it was a restaurant and yesterday I was invited to a place where I could see a beautiful sunset to eat crepes.

Kate: “Ellis, you’ve been taking me too many delicious restaurants lately…”

Ellis: “Too many…?”

Kate: “It feels like my body is getting a little bit…heavy.”

Ellis: “I don’t think it’s changed at all…but then, should we stop?”

--Choices--

Maybe not today

**2. …we can go. +4 +4 **

3. Let me think about it for a minute. (I had selected this option and forgot to get screenshots for the correct answer >n<)

Kate: “Let me think about it for a minute.

Ellis: “Sure.”

Ellis stands there, staring at me intently, like a faithful dog waiting for his master’s commands.

Kate: “I suppose we can go.”

Ellis: “Good, I thought you would like the restaurant, Kate.”

Ellis: “I wanted to take you with me.”

And spending time with Ellis wasn’t just about eating delicious food together--.

Kate: “Huh? Ellis, this book is…”

There was a book on the chair I always sat on in the common room.

Ellis: “Oh, yeah… I thought that was the one you said you wanted to read, right?”

Part 3

Ellis: “Oh, yeah… I thought that was the one you said you wanted to read, right?”

Kate: “That’s right…! Thank you… How much did it cost?”

Ellis: “Don’t worry about it, it’s a gift.”

Ellis: “You bought me some cranberry jam the other day, so I wanted to return the favor.”

Kate: “That was as thanks for the restaurant before that.”

Ellis: “Then, as a thank you for this…let me know what you think when you finish reading it.”

(I gave him cranberry jam in return for the restaurant, and he gave me this book in return…)

(And as thanks you want me to tell you what I think of this book?)

Kate: “…That’s the way you’d like me to thank you?”

Ellis: “Yeah. I like listening to you.”

Kate: “You’re saying stuff like that again…”

(Ellis is too good at spoiling me…)

--However, the one strange thing is the question that Ellis sometimes asks me.

Ellis: “Hey, Kate… How happy are you right now?”

He wants to know what makes me happy and what satisfies me.

Ellis sometimes asks strange questions like that, as if he really wants to know.

Usually when he asks me this, it’s when I’m feeling happy.

He asked the questions as if he could see right through me, as if confirming that I was happy.

It’s like an exchange between lovers… and it always makes my heart skip.

Kate: “Hmmm… I guess as happy as when I’m taking a nap on my bed in the sun on my first vacation in a while.”

I feel like I’ve gotten better at expressing ‘happiness’, probably due to always being asked this question.

Ellis: “…”

As usual, he would smile immediately after blinking.

Ellis: “…I’d like to see that. Would you like to take a nap with me next time?”

Kate: “T-together?”

Ellis: “Yeah. Think about it.”

Ellis: “Well then, Kate, see you tomorrow.”

(together…)

The kindness that Ellis showers on me is so limitless that I feel almost conceited.

But…

(Ah, I feel like I’m going to be ruined from too much pampering…)

Perhaps driven by this sense of crisis, I’ve been waking up early lately.

(I’m supposed to be doing a job that my life depends on, but I’m enjoying it more than I used to.)

(It’s all thanks to Ellis for trying to make me happy, but…)

I took the plunge and asked Jude, who happened to be reading the newspaper by himself at the early morning breakfast table.

Kate: “Is there a reason that Ellis is so particular about happiness?”

Part 4

Kate: “Is there a reason that Ellis is so particular about happiness?”

Jude: “……What, ya gonna do somethin’ if ya know?”

Kate: “Eh? No, it’s just a question.”

Kate: “He’s so kind to me that I’m starting to worry…”

What I gradually came to understand after spending time with Ellis is—

He says he ‘prioritizes what the other person wants to do, not himself.’

(As Ellis had said before.)

(It’s as if Ellis has no feelings or desires of his own.)

Kate: “As much as I think Ellis is person who genuinely enjoys the happiness of others.”

Kate: “There are bound to be things that Ellis himself wants to do or doesn’t want to do.”

Kate: “I’m a little worried that I’m not holding back.”

Jude: “…Well, look at you.”

Jude snorted a laugh while looking down at the newspaper, seemingly uninterested.

Jude: “So, ya think there’s a hidden side to his kindness, and ya can’t trust him?”

(Uh…)

Kate: “I didn’t say that.”

For a moment I was at a loss for words because I realized what Jude was saying.

Jude: “Same thing.”

Jude: “’I don’t know if I should be happy to be pampered because I can’t read his true feelings.’ Isn’t that what yer sayin’?”

(…now that you say that, it might be true.)

(I’m suspicious of Ellis…?)

He’s the type of person who would do anything to cheer me up.

Maybe I’m afraid of becoming complacent with that kindness and missing out on the feelings behind it.

Jude: “There’s no such thing as genuine kindness so leave that assumption aside.”

Jude: “I’m sure his kindness isn’t just due to simple favoritism.”

Kate: “….?”

Jude: “Well if he doesn’t have a special obsession with ya, then it’ll be fine.”

Kate: “It sounds like there are circumstances that make it not okay if he does become particularly attached…”

Jude: “Ha, yer smarter than I thought.”

Jude raised an eyebrow and continued.

Jude: “But if ya knew that much, wouldn’t a smart young lady know what to do?”

Jude looks down at the newspaper as if he didn’t feel like explaining any further.

There’s no such thing as genuine kindness.

It’s okay as long as he doesn’t get too attached.

Even knowing that, I still only have a vague idea.

That’s why I don’t know anything specific about what will happen if I stay with Ellis from now on.

(…I wonder what this pain is.)

It’s like reaching out to touch a beautiful rose and a tiny thorn stings my fingertips—my heart aches.

Ellis: “Good morning, Jude, Kate.”

(Wah!)

Kate: “Ellis! Good morning.”

My heart skipped a beat and my hand instinctively reached for the silverware on the table.

Ellis: “…Did something happen?”

Part 5

Ellis: “…Did something happen?”

His gentle colored eyes look at me with concern.

Kate: “No, it’s nothing.”

Jude: “She was just squealin’ ‘bout bein’ hungry.”

Ellis: “…I see. Then let’s eat breakfast.”

Ellis smiles and takes his seat.

(What Jude was saying earlier is… I should keep my distance so he doesn’t get seriously attached to me.)

(But… I can’t just be aloof now after he’s shown me all this kindness.)

So as usual, I smiled and spoke with him.

Kate: “Ah, I spread a lot of butter on the toast before it got cold.”

Ellis: “Mine too? … You did.”

Kate: “Thank you, as always.”

Ellis: “Thank you, Kate.”

(When Ellis smiles happily, I feel happy too.)

I’m sure no one will leave Ellis alone.

Because he’s such a wonderful person.

(I’m sure there’s no way he’ll be particularly attached to me.)

(This is just how I repay the kindness I’ve received.)

(I should spend the rest of the month trying not to be too easy on Ellis.)

I shouldn’t misjudge the sense of distance—that’s what I vowed to do as soon as I came here.

(Every time I’m treated kindly, I feel like I’m forgetting that commandment.)

Since then, his kindness has seeped into the cracks of the commandments and the distance between our hearts has narrowed…

I’m sure I’ve reached a point where I can’t turn back.

(I can’t make any more mistakes…)

Maybe, surely—I can’t make a mistake.

After finishing breakfast and Kate left to get ready to go out, Ellis looked at Jude.

Ellis: “Hey, Jude.”

Jude: “If it’s bullshit I don’t wanna hear it.”

Jude makes a noise with the newspaper as if to interrupt the voice.

Ellis: “Do you think it’s possible to make Kate the happiest she’s been in her life, within the month?”

Jude: “Dunno.”

Ellis: “If she has a moment like that, I would want to make it last forever.”

Ellis: “Because she’s such a nice person.”

Jude glanced up and saw that Ellis had a very serious expression on his face.

Jude: “…Ha, yer as crazy as ever.”

Ellis: “I don’t think so.”

Ellis: “I… I just don’t like seeing people I care about become unhappy.”

Jude: “….”

--------------------------------------------------------------------

That night, things took a turn in the kidnapping case—

William wandered in and saw Jude and Ellis discussing the next day’s meeting,

Then he smiled at me as I took notes on the proceedings.

William: “We’ve received new information from Alfons regarding the kidnapping incidents.”

Next Chapter

[skzdarlings]

hi darling!! i had to come here to tell you how much i enjoy the fifteenth heir story so far. i’ve read it twice already and definitely won’t be the last! the vibes are sooo deliciously eerie🧡

i saw a commenter pondering what happened to her father, and they mentioned if he could be a wendigo. that unlocked a part of my brain i forgot about, as i loved watching game playthroughs many years ago of a video game called until dawn which depicted wendigos. i started rewatching the playthroughs this weekend for some good ol’ nostalgia, and did a little googling, and learned that wendigos are usually depicted as stag like creatures with long arms, and can be spirits that possess people into becoming cannibalistic creatures/wendigos. so based on that, all the dots connected, the creatures in your story appear to be wendigos, or at least very inspired by them! i absolutely love it. wendigos are a special kind of horrifying, and fit so well as part of a faerie-verse, especially in regards to a cannibalistic faerie who eventually eats his 14 older brothers :) and i actually reread same but different not long ago and initially didn’t remember it being scary, but upon rereading it and the details about the bone-leaf creatures and the faeries without their glamour, oh i can totally see now how the universe can easily become horrifying, so i love even more that you went a more horror-forward route to depict faerie jeongin’s story. it just fits so well. i’m obsessed. i’m not always super into scary or disturbing stories, so when i say i love something like that, i really mean it!!! ugh and don’t get me started on our fox-wolf dimply faerie prince trying to save us. and giving us sweet treats. what a man💖

so yeah, just wanted to gush and say i’m so excited to see how the story unfolds and everything you have in store for this equally magical and horrifying faerie-verse✨🫶🧡🍁

omg tumblr is not alerting me to new messages hello 😭 anyway HI!!! 😊🧡🧡🧡 thank you so much for both your reblog and this message oh gosh I always look forward to your comments, thank you so much!!!

i have to be totally honest, there’s lots of fun faerie stuff coming up in the story but i don’t know anything about wendigos and any similarities are purely and totally coincidental omg that’s interesting they accidentally hit the mark though haha!

but yes either way this is definitely a more horror-centric/dark fantasy approach to the faerie world. I love the potential darkness lurking under all the glamours and this story really gets into it w some nasty bad guys but a very good ending 🤭 im so excited to post more and i hope you will enjoy what’s to come!

thank you again so so much 🧡

[the-octic-scribe]

find the word tag!

Hello all, my find the word game! My words were – out, bright, grow, and forever

Yours are ; sweet, warm, and died

This is the first time I have ever made any of TWRAL public so… tell me what you think! shout out to @friendlyshaped for tagging me!

Out –

“No Cyrus. I have done many things wrong. and in a way I am a calamity. If the world soul likes my story then they are a twisted being. let me tell you the past of an old man.”

Even Alex settled to hear it. the world moving around us felt like it was hinging on his next words.

 “in my home nation there is an old story. a story about how the first Sentinel died. when the stones had just been born a great Naga ruled over Nashara. he could drive a person to insanity, when you hear a meton in your mind it can feel invasive, but you can block it out. Malichi however could take it over. as time when on he became a tyrant. About a hundred years ago his right hand, a meton, angered him. but before he was tortured he established a link with a lieutenant who’s name has been erased, but his right hand had a secret. That he was like me. The Sentinel never imagined someone doing it back to him, and when Malichi poured torment into him, the lieutenant made a feedback loop, linking there minds in a maelstrom of torment. it went beyond insanity, each time the thought went from one to another it was amplified. the meton died but gods don’t die so easily-

Bright –

“I’m here because I’ve lived a life based on fear. I’m here because I forgot what Liam actually wanted. I’m here so that I can find something that changes the world. I’m here because what you have shown me is who I am, and I forgot that.”

the form shook, the heads all placed besides one another , nine mouths linking into one giant smile “you are very bright, slave of the endless. you may return.”

the world came into focus, and I was in the Mistwalkers hall once more. Alex looked dazed as well and stared at me. “Cyrus, I think I have some things to tell you.”

Grow –

“sometimes I wonder what my life would have been like had I not chosen this route. there was a time when I thought I might have a life that was calm. maybe find a wife, have some kids. hah, they would probably be your age now.” Leon took a cutting knife that looked far to small in his hands and sliced a thin piece to check the meat “but I guess that’s the part that they don’t tell you. your life exists right now and there is no going back. a word of advice, grow old. find a family, find something that makes you happy. a sword gets heavier the longer you carry it”

Forever –

I saw what was about to happen. if a single shot pierced Alex in this form she may be stuck like this forever. watchers healed slower than even kara. and if she couldn’t be the human anymore it would scar her.

“I’m… I’m here to see my mom. she said to leave because of the assassination. I’m from Versel, my mom. uh, Cassandra sent me to school there.”

the guard squinted his eyes, a few lowered their bows but the head and his circle had not.

“Cassandra doesn’t have a kid. that bitch couldn’t find a mate if she tried.”

I was taken aback. I was tired. I was angry. every emotion I suppressed flooded to my my head as the staff in my hand grew warm.

“Cassandra is a smarter woman than you. A fucking low-life guard, insulting her? Do I need to prove that were related?” I felt years of anger welling up at once. If I had a mother, I would want to protect them. and the piece of me that longed for a family was no longer a small flame, instead an inferno. Maybe that’s what I needed. “let me show you why she is hated. you already know, but a demonstration may help before you insult her again.” the staff now glowed a bright crimson , even if I couldn’t see it I knew the color of radiance in my eyes. I saw the sparks of the anomaly that surrounded me. but not fire, never fire. Even Alex backed away as the blue sparks danced around me. it was exhilarating to feel the radiance from the pillars in my body now-

down to play @akiwitch @patternwelded-quill @rhyaxxyn @lukas-wrld ??

[writtenonreceipts]

I saw this on Twitter and I can't stop imagining it, so I thought I'd send it to you 💕💕 In case you feel some inspiration you could do a one-shot (Imagine rhysand calls the emissary from some territory to his office to fix some things but the emissary got interested in him and thinks uhu let's be alone now, then she goes into the office and sees the huge painting of rhysand's wife staring at her)

i hope you like this? idk how i feel about it...

find my masterlist here

warnings: none

.*.*.*.*.*.

Picture Perfect

The portrait appeared from nowhere.

One day the wall behind his desk was bare wood paneling that had been imported from Autumn over a hundred years ago and the next Rhys entered his office to find his wife staring down at him. 

The artwork was exquisite of course.  Everything Feyre did was remarkable.  For the past decade or so, she’d been using her art in an exploratory way.  From the therapy session with the citizens of Velaris to traveling to the different Courts to capture their own unique people and landscapes—Feyre had been growing her talent.  And he loved her for it.

Still, he had not been expecting to walk straight into his office that morning to find her baring down at him.  Even through the paint Rhys could see the amusement Feyre had added to her eyes, the small tilt of her mouth in a smirk and the golden hues of her hair.  She’d never liked doing self-portraits, even with all of his inquiries for one.  Either he’d annoyed her enough in the last few years or she was trying something new.

It didn’t quite matter to him when this was the result. Seeing his mate in her element and enjoying her art made it all worth it.

Rhys was seated in his office going over paperwork relating to new trade routes that they were trying to establish with the human lands. Vassa had long settled into her role as Queen and given her reputation as the Firebird combined with Jurian’s propensity for...violence...the mortals easily accepted them.

Rhys wished Feyre were still in Velaris, but Elain had recently had her first baby so Feyre and Nyx in tow went to Day Court to coo over the new addition. Nyx was mostly eager to try and win all his cousins over to the cause of xxx.

The new routes would require a stop through Spring which Rhys wasn't eager about. The new emissary, while eager, could be a bit over bearing in her work. Ever since Lucien’s true parentage had been revealed the former Vanserra was called back to Day where he was busy learning from his father in courtly duties.

"My Lord?" Ceriddwen appeared at the door to Rhysand’s office. The wraith shadowy black hair was pulled back into a long braid, her simple dress practically dissolving into shadow.

"Yes? WHT happened?" He looked up from the current map he was trying to make sense of.

Cerridwen pauses as though contemplating what to say. "Well, the Spring Court emissary is here. Emissary Nadia Verone."

Rhys tried and failed to hide his feelings about that. Again. Would this emissary never be satisfied?

Cerridwen smirked at his response. "If I may high lord? You are as your mate would say, simply irresistible. "

Snorting Rhys stood from his chair and adjusted his jacket.

"Hilarious," Rhys murmured. "Fine. Is she in the Foyer?"

Cerridwen nodded.

"Thank you," he said. The wraith immediately vanished.

Rhys ran a hand through his hair and then tugged on the bond. All he got was a shot of ten-year-old Nyx laying in the floor next to a rather chubby baby with a head of fiercely red curls. It was followed up by a wistful sigh from his mate.

Darling, he sent to her.

I forgot how cute babies are, she sent back to him.

Yes, they're adorable, we can make another when you get back. Darling, he tried to draw her attention back to the question he had now but was interrupted by a very specific tug on the bond that had him pausing in the hall to collect himself.

Menace.

Feyre only chuckled through the bond in response. He should not have been surprised.

He made it to the foyer where waited the spring court emissary. Nadia Verone was a lesser fae who had grown up in spring court. She was willows with long limbs and a thin face. Her dark brown hair matched her near obsidian eyes. Rhys had had a few dealings with her father, a decently ranking fae of the court. One would assume that Appointing Nadia to the emissary position had been a smart choice. However, he problem was that she was rather young. And she was rather...flirtatious. he had seen her on occasion at various at feasts or events bustling around with her friends tittering on the gossip ring.

Perhaps it was simply an approach as being an emissary or perhaps it was simply who she was. But Rhys had long decided that the females gaze lingered too long on him and she always found herself around him when Feyre wasn't around.

"Emissary, " Rhys greeted, "how can I help."

"High Lord, " Nadia responded. She gave a seeing bow and smiled a bit like a cat on the hint. "Thank you for seeing me."

"What is the problem?" He asked. Better to get this over with as quickly as possible.

"Lord Tamlin needs and update on the trade routes," Nadia said, she tucked her arms behind her back in an innocent sort of way.

Rhys found himself doubting the need for the update. Tamlin and he avoided one another as much as possible, even though emissary contacts. Rhys said he would have the signed forms delivered by the end of the week. He still had five days.

"Really?" Rhys mused, he kept his aloof mask of high lord in place, betraying nothing.

Nadia nodded absently as she twirled a lock of hair around a finger. She'd not come dressed in usual emissary garb: no simple tunic and pants, rather she'd chosen to wear a dress of a gossamer fabric. It was something far more akin to what Elain had worn in her time in Night.

"Yes, he's been undertaken a bit more in rebuilding the human lands and the timeliness has moves up." Nadia smiled innocently and Rhys new she was lying.

If such a big change happened Tamlin would write him or force Lucien to pick up one more act as spring emissary. He wouldn't have a youngling deliver the news. And not like this.

"I can show you the trade routes he'd like to use.”  Nadia was already moving past Rhys to head back towards his office.

“Perhaps,” Rhys tried to direct the emissary back towards him, but she didn’t listen.

Fine then.  

Rhys stuffed his hands in his pockets and trailed after her.  He didn’t quite know what she was getting at--it really wasn’t like Tamlin to play games like this by sending one of his emissaries to flirt their way through a Court.  And the Night Court had maintained a certain reputation between the High Lord and Lady.

“Emissary Verone,” Rhys called as he walked behind her. “I’m sure if High Lord Tamlin was this concerned over the trade routes, he would have sent word over at our last meeting.”

Nadia paused just outside of the office door, hands clasped politely behind her back. “Oh, but he just sent word to me.  Very new and everything given how things are developing with the mortal Queen.  Her first child just turned five and she’s been making changes in her laws of succession and security for their kingdom.  She can be...hard to work with.”

Only to those who didn’t know her.

Rhys merely raised a brow and opened his office door. “Vassa is a capable leader.  She’s worked tirelessly for her people, and ours.”

“Oh, of course,” Nadia agreed as she brushed a bit too close Rhys.  One of her hands passed absently along his chest, the touch a bit too familiar.

He really wanted Feyre here.

“I meant nothing by it,” Nadia continued as she entered the office. “She certainly doesn’t have the experience or capabilities as some--”

Nadia’s voice cut off abruptly as something caught her attention.

Rhys moved around the side of his desk and was about to take a seat when he noticed Nadia’s distraction.  He glanced over his shoulder where the emissary was looking.  Feyre’s portrait stared meaningfully down.

“Isn’t it lovely,” Rhys said dryly. “My mate painted it, of course.  I’m always in awe of her capabilities.”

Nadia said nothing as she stared at the portrait and slowly shifted to one side and then the other.  Rhys had to cover a smile, knowing full well the effect that Feyre’s eyes could have on someone.  Especially with the force and power that had been painted in them.

“Emissary?” Rhys asked.  He pointed to the notes and papers on his desk. 

To her credit, Nadia leaped from her seat with plenty of grace.  Her skin was flushed as she turned to the door, her eyes down cast.

“No, sir, High Lord,” she said quickly, “it should be fine.  Everything is in order, I think.  I should leave.  Duties in Winter.”

The emissary practically ran from the room.  She didn’t even acknowledge when she’d be returning.

Rhys sat in his chair for a minute before reaching for the bottle of scotch tucked beneath the table.  He didn’t bother finding a glass before he turned to that portrait.

You planned this somehow, didn’t you? he sent down the bond, knowing with certainty Feyre had been listening in.

A low chuckle was his only response.

.*.*.*.*.*.

tagist:

@aelinchocolatelover  // @sexy-dumpster-fire // @bamchickawowow // @ireallyshouldsleeprn // @courtofjurdan // @sassys-world // @sleeping-and-books // @superspiritfestival // @chieflemming // @julemmaes // @lysandra-ghost-leopard // @firestarsandseneschals // @emikadreams // @rapunzel1523 // @booksofthemoon // @highladysith // @fangirlprincess09 // @rowaelinismyotp // @vanzetanze // @cassianscool // @stardelia // @my-fan-side // @sjmships // @tillyrubes10 // @rhysandswhore  //  @story-scribbler  // @post-it-notes33 // @live-the-fangirl-life // @strangevil321 // @pastasiren // @lemonade-coolattas @foreverfallingforthestars // @feysand-loml // @realbookloverproblems // @ghostlyrose2 // @swankii-art-teacher // @foughtconquered // @bri-loves-sunflowers // @captain-swan-is-endgame  // @mystic-bibliophile // @cretaceous-therapod // @thenightgodess-feyrearcheron //  @thisloveseternal // @gracie-rosee // @magnifique1807 // @liars-lmao // @goddess-aelin // @thegloweringcastle // @tangledinsparkles // @the-lonelybarricade // @millsarcherfeykat // @sideralwriting // @nerdperson524 // @the-fae-are-taking-over // @sushisempai // @jenibearx3 //  @the-introverted-bibliophile //  @starfall-spirit //

[shallow-between-stars]

Oops.

Hi, um, yes! Hello!

So, uhh, it's been seven years. I recovered my account about... a month ago and that was an ordeal, then did nothing with that for a bit, then lurked for a bit and am now posting.

SO WHAT HAPPENED YOU ASK?

Short answer: Life.

Long answer: Life, pets, work, and a side of what I think was HORRIBLE BURNOUT.

I didn't really notice I was pulling away from Tumblr, but I kinda did, which is absolutely my bad. Then, y'know, shit happened.

I got back from China in... 2017... promptly lost my job, ended up with a new job I loved for a company I hated, worked there for five years or so. Had to people, like, a lot.

My job was entirely dealing with people. Mostly people under 12. And my poor, introverted soul really struggled with that most days and came home, crashed on the couch and slept. When it wasn't school term, it was holiday care, when it wasn't holiday care it was school term. I was responsible for a lot, including making sure a daily average of 30 kids didn't hurt themselves.

And, y'know, about a year into that, my father (who I love a lot better at a distance) and I had a conversation (started by me) about my moving out of the family home. Mum and Dad basically refused to let me rent and (I'm showing my upper middle class, here, sorry) bought me a house that I am slowly paying them back for.

Yes, I know, and I am so very grateful for their support.

My dad and I shopped together and picked out a (unbeknownst to us) house-flipped 30 year old property with a great back yard and some small things that needed fixing, and I packed my bags and over the course of a week, I moved in.

And then I did what every responsible new home owner would do and waited until I moved in and was settled before making any more drastic life changes.

...

...

...Yeah. I'm lying.

I got two dogs. Ranger, who is the end result of putting all your points into Charisma and Constitution and using Wisdom as a dump stat, and Rogue who went the Int/Dex route but forgot that constitution exists. Seriously. I had her a week and she nearly died from -eating chicken.-

(She's allergic, we have discovered in the interim. She's also five now, arthritic and incontinent, the very definition of THE BEST DOG WITH SHITTY HEALTH ever. I'd say she's the living embodiment of 'adopt, don't shop', but the other dog's adopted and has an almost 1:1 ratio of "years alive" and "windows broken because he got scared".)

So. I worked a shitty job for five years (and through Covid, my job was considered an essential role which meant I worked straight through the pandemic, with children, which was low-key terrifying), and then in an episode of "nepo baby" a friend of my mother's got me a job at a high school for kids with behavioural issues where I worked for the better part of last year teaching EAL/D to refugees. I loved the kids to pieces, but as you could probably tell from the 'refugee' part of that sentence, these kids came with very heavy stories and my heart was broken for them more often than not.

Anyway, due to a contract kerfuffle at the end of last year I found myself out of that job, but my boss stepped in for another episode of "nepo baby" and sourced me a -new- job with a friend of hers working at a different school, where I am now. Still teaching high school, still teaching EAL/D and still loving every minute of it.

Anyway, I'm writing again, which is great, and something that I haven't managed to do consistently for years (See: HORRIBLE BURNOUT) and am excited to be -almost- ready to post some new content to my sadly neglected AO3, where the last thing I posted was about... two and a half years ago and at the tail end of Covid.

Surprising no-one, the content I have most recently written is Kal and Bull.

Surprising probably a lot of people, I still haven't played Baldur's Gate 3, but I've got three weeks of holidays in about a month so maybe I will play it then? Maybe?

[10dance]

10 Dance Pilgrimage Route!

As many have pointed out, some of the backgrounds in the 10 Dance manga are based on real locations in Ginza, Tokyo. Back in 2019, the exhibition catalogue contained a small map of the area listing out some famous 10 Dance spots. There have been more locations since then, and after saving those spots, I visited and took photos! I will be sharing the locations for anyone visiting to plan their route as well. All under the cut.

At a glance, these were the spots I went to. As you can see, they are all pretty close to each other and are definitely walkable, but it’s a workout... The red spots appeared in chapter 34, the purple spots appeared elsewhere in-story, and green spots are the bonuses. I didn’t go in any particular order, but I will talk about them in order of appearance in the story.

🟣 Sugiki Dance School

The first, prominently featured location in the story. Some others wrote blogposts about it before so I had a vague idea that it was on Miyuki-dori Street years ago, but it was hard to find exactly what block. Then I found the signature angular balconies! In the story it was always after hours, so I did not see the ornate gate on the first floor during the early evening, but the Brioni store is the closest match. The side with the balconies is opposite a store called Breitling if you want to catch the perfect view (barely visible in this picture!).

🟣 Sukiyabashi Park

We are all very familiar with The Park, aren’t we? The Shinyas sure do spend a lot of time there dancing, but unfortunately, Inoue draws the older version of the park before its renovation a few years ago, so the park doesn’t look like the manga anymore. But the spot is still there, and I’m hoping the Shinyas will return to it someday. As I walked around the updated version of the park, I kept envisioning the Shinyas meeting up here, sitting on a bench or dancing under the clock tower... it felt very real. This park is just a few minutes walk from Sugiki Dance School, making it the perfect after-hours practice space and very easy to reach for us.

🟢 (Bonus) - Bar Zikkai

For those who have been in the fandom for a while, you might know that the 2019 exhibition teamed up with Bar Zikkai to make character cocktails for Suzuki and Sugiki. I remembered it was in Ginza, but I didn’t expect to run into it on my way to the park! Maybe this is the bar that Sugiki really likes, who knows...

🟣 Seiko House Clock Tower

This building is not only featured in the manga (in this exact angle) a few times, it is also a tourist spot known for its clock tower that stands out from other modern buildings surrounding it. The Shinyas have been shown to dance near it on the cover page of chapter 13, and I was determined to find that spot! It’s a busy intersection, so I couldn’t get a picture that is as quiet as the artwork depicts it, but it’s still a beautiful view. The street lamps and subway entrance have both been upgraded which goes to show how long 10 Dance has been serializing. (Sorry for the blurry paper!)

🔴 Dai-ichi Life Insurance Building

This location has only been shown once in chapter 33. With its giant decorated doors, I assumed this was an entrance to a museum or a bank. Google reverse image search tells me it’s an insurance company building, haha. To find this exact view, you’ll want to be facing away from the Shin-Yukaruchō Building, but it’s very easy to find with a little walking around. After taking this picture, I went ahead and stepped on the spot the Shinyas stood in the drawing.

🔴 The Peninsula Hotel

This is another spot that was shown in He Is Beautiful. I forgot how I found it, because the text in the drawing was hard to read, but here it is! In the first picture you can almost see where the Shinyas stood. It was a little bothersome since people were frequently passing by or standing around... A detail that struck me was that even the differences in tiles were noticed by Inoue-sensei — you can see that reflected in the manga! She pays so much attention it’s crazy.

🔴 Marunouchi Ekimae Square

And there's the final spread from He Is Beautiful, with the Shinyas dancing in front of the popular tourist spot of the Tokyo train station. I insisted on coming before the sun set so I can get a similar lighting, and yes, the sun was in the opposite direction, but it cast a gorgeous glow on the building which is a nice feeling too. I went a little further back than the square to get the right frame; the street lamps and trees all match!

🟢 (Bonus) - Marunouchi Subway Line

The kiss in the subway in volume 3 is a truly unforgettable scene in the series, and I couldn’t help but get excited as I got on the Marunouchi subway car. The car layouts won’t always be the same, but I have seen others that match this chapter cover to a tee. I did not get to Kasumigaseki (the station where the Shinyas were seen by a stranger) since I had to get off at Tokyo station, but I was still overcome with emotions as I took this picture before people started coming in.

And those were all the spots I found! Going on this short trip around Ginza made me so close to crying as scenes of the Shinyas dancing in the dead of night on the same streets surfaced in my mind. Although they are fictional characters, it felt so cool to trace their steps knowing that they, and Inoue-sensei in real life, have been here before. If you have the time during your trip, definitely plan for an evening walk in this shimmering part of Tokyo!

(I will update this post with a link to the Google Map if people want it)

[theorist-influencer-untitled]

9.17.23 Tuesday

1:02 am

Still,have windblow....

I can't sleep yet... But I'm energized by the coffee I've seen somewhere a latte in the magic jar here... My system badly need a coffee... If I don't have coffee intake, I feel weak and I feel so down...

Uncle DD and Aunt Karen, they can't even give me a decaffinated Nescafe Blue, Coffee Mate and Sugar.... What a bad character! Anyways, I don't like the 3 of them including Ivan the kid. I was really angry that morning coz accusation or allegations on me that I did something on their plastics toilet bowl, made me super angry! Why,should I damage their toilet bowl??? Am I crazy?or they are crazy?

I'm on "Dexter", I really admire how calm he is... His pychological state and emotion control are both amazing... Even his sex state is in control...

2:23 am

Still, have windblow...

Still, why people are liftin' up someone and trying to drag my name that I'm not with them for so long...

Again, if Mitch knew something time will come that I should know....Did Mitch do the movement? Was it for me or for something? I just don't want being abandon on the things that she planned from the past years... But I can truly suppport her, if she is the chosen one than me... I just wanna know her contract, if there is to be fair on me.....

It suddenly pop-up in my head it is the birthday of Brien,my high-school friend and X who is closer to Leonor Jacinto that I hate so much these days...

I'm just wonderin' why their old house in area-1 it seemed they made it a shop, selling stuff like the stuff of my X-Ryan...Actually, I observed that a long time ago.... Did my X-Ryan possibly link to Brien? Well, this is just a tribute issue since I suddenly remember that today is Brien's birthday.... Why,did I say that probably Brien linked to my X-Ryan? Coz from the past months I saw their old house in area-1,it became a shop of stuff that are liked by my X-Ryan, specifically the "reggae" stuff....I just saw it from the past months when I went to SM or John's clinic and my route was passing there... I was wondering now,if Brien got our lost mobile which some of our hot love were there... Hmmm.... ( me and my X-Ryan ).

We had our record of hot stuff there coz we were an item as past partner's... ( Ryan & I )...

My X-Ryan loves reggae songs... He loves reggae stuff, like a reggae printed bonnet... Brien also love bonnet but on just plain color either dark blue or black.

Why, I hate Leonor Jacinto, my friend during high school but she is as well closer to Brien and always on the side of Brien... Jerlyn said Leonor and Brien had something like they went to bed something like that...Brien called her mommy for something like sucking a milk bottle, that was pointed by Jerlyn who became a bit closer to Brien as well and I think they slept together as well... This story was during high school...

I'm just wondering if Brien saw my hot love on my X-Ryan or my X-Ryan was just somewhere, I can't just imagine if he opened a shop and renting there at the old house of Brien in area-1...

Happy Birthday Bryan... Brien and Ryan...

Hahahaha Who is the guilty one or 2???

This is the favorite song of my X-Ryan....

2:57 am

Still, have windblow...

Last call! Attention!

Whoever got our old phone, I hope I look good on that... You got it, you wanna see it. I'm not a sinner but you! I hope I look good on that hot love filmed of Ryan and I...

It was past... It was art and it wasn't my fault if someone wanted to copy... I hope you will give a help on somethig coz it is my style... It can be money...

The one who got it probably craving for that hot moves... I'm so flattered!

I'm so flattered! I'm so proud of myself.... I know how to love....Shake your booty! Feel every rhythm of it....It can be a trademark moves from Rocky to JP and to the last one...

Whoever got the copy please I have a coin banks here... Be fair... Lemme know and will probably teach you some tricks...

Hey! You forgot to get me baby, I'm so fucking mad... Time limit... I will be with my cousin-white now...

3:10 am

Anyways, I'm so fucking flattered that someone who got our phone which we filmed some of the hot moves... Yeah know....Supposed to be a memory of my youth...

Did you copy my moves? Learn how to LOVE!

That's FRIENDS!!!

3:26 am

Still, have windblow...

I want my cousin-white, I wonder what is his moan... I think more of an american moaning. Hahaha I really like my cousin-white on my Aunt Ten2x...

Probably, I will bring a handcuff for my cousin-white....

9 am

Still,have windblow...

Weird, someone can hack my phone from Saint Peter Area G??? That is not my location or people from there wanted to kill me to put on Saint Peter Funeral House... People are mean people here in the Philippines...

Some Cavite are traitors like I'm not sure if an artist on TV came from Area G here....I don't actually dwell on irreligious people...

Hoping and praying that God would make me and people who are truly good to me, make us live like a dinosaur...

12:17 noon

Still, have windblow...

John is on his rebel state but as his mommy Peachy, he can't win on me...He needs to finish his 1 and 1/2 cup of food this lunchie whether he likes it or not... He is on force-feed... He wanted to go out, angels....Stubborn state of John...

1:55 pm

Still,have windblow...

I wanna do the rumuor thing on my cousin-white...

6:42 pm

Still, have windblow...

We went out John and I,he pooped outside...Usually, I always pick it up but awhile ago, I wasn't able to pick it up coz I was calming John coz he was always excited to go out and at the very beginning he will always do "zoomies". A crazy exciting behaviour of dogs ( zoomies ). Then, a car smashed the poops that supposed to be I will pick it up...Next time after he poops, right away I need to pick-up his poops... We have etiquette angels... I'm just being defensive!

7:21 pm

Still, have windblow...

Still, in force feed on John....Angels of life please extend our lives.... I gave him an another 1 and 1/2 cup of foodish... If they will kill John, next me...

I have no guilty emotions on my family members or old fakers friends who got the rituals...

My 7 year old boy is having a different behaviour... Probably, someone is whisperin' him not to eat but I force fed him like a stubborn 6 or 7 year old boy...

7:27 pm

Still, have windblow...

Thank God I feel ohkay but both of my eyes are reddish but I feel ohkay... It seems I'm crying but I'm not... But I'm super stress and worrying on money and John...

11:26 pm

Still, have windblow...

Please make us dinosaur, angels of life...

My baby is sleeping already...

[tsa-smth]

Slow shifting

About how Bai Long Ma scared a child with his looks

Drabble, Gen, all ages, the author is on the middle of the book

PS - my first actually written fanfic ever, it's quite simple and made for kicks. Let me know about grammar mistakes in DMs, especially on the English version since that's not my native language. Have a good time Русская версия

Several days ago Tang monk have acquired one more disciple, and the merciful bodhisattva named him Bai Long Ma. Three pilgrims were heading to the West. The route was peaceful so far, nobody threatened Tripitaka. The sun was going down and was blinding their eyes through branches. The pathway was getting thicker and they saw smoke before - good signs there were people ahead. And then there was heavy rain. By agreeing on them not getting to a village fast enough, they found shelter in a cave they noticed - surprisingly, it didn’t have any hosts. Sanzang invited disciples for sutra reading that turned to a debate between the monk and the monkey, and the transformed into human Bai Long Ma stole the scriptures so he could read them himself. On the second watch, the monk switched the place with the white dragon-horse - looking like a steed again - and went to sleep without preparation. The monkey didn’t saw any fiends and, how wild he wasn’t, entrusted a watch to the hooved one. Seems like the simian had a soft spot for equines and it was easy for him to claim the new member as trustworthy in such an appearance - despite their secretiveness and silence - and even forgot they both got into a brawl because of what happened with the previous horse. The newbie wanted to goof around - just a little bit. The thing is, he didn’t have a proper time to be in his true form from the start of the journey. Due to Guanyin’s spell, transformations took way more time than it’s supposed to. He transformed into a human to attend Tang monk’s lessons and that was all. First of all, his gotten as a punishment for arson and destruction of the pearl scars hadn’t healed yet. He hadn’t the same terrifying fame that the Monkey King had, and if an evil soul would recognise him as one of the disciples in his two-legged image, lóng could lose a fight easily and the monk would be left without a horse for an escape. The same way, Bai Long Ma couldn’t transform into lóng to not destroy everything around the mortal. Second of all, it can be too hard to convince humans that creatures don’t mean any harm, especially if one of them is particularly scrappy and arrogant. If villagers recognized a shapeshifter in the horse, it didn’t seemed like noble monk’s words would helped them. And all of that means, if he wants to act like a horse, he should think like a horse and be a horse, and he doesn’t shapeshift into a young man or a lóng if a situation calls for it. Bai Long Ma thought for a while, examining moon shine on the white fur, the scars and horn cuts were acting up under the weather. Recalling the time the goddess had to dissuade his father from the execution, he thought he was a better horse than a prince. Though, under the closed by heavy clouds sky and and without uninvited audience, he couldn’t sulking about past for long. Ao Lie waited until the monk would fully succumb to sleep and took action. Silently, he started a transformation. Fur is getting covered by scales, vibrissae thickens into catfish whiskers, and the mane becomes a spine. But haven’t hooves transformed into claws how he heard something two-legged moving to their direction. Lóng becomes a horse back again. He could distinguish a child, probably lost while playing, running through the pathway through tree trunks. — Oh no, that’s the cave! — frustratingly said the girl. Seeing the light she thought she already reached her village. The little human went further until it clicked in her head that there are someone sleeping here. — I wonder for how long I was in the forest... — Tiny... The white dragon-horse hadn’t enough time to go back into its role. The child heard the voice from the steed, and when she raised his eyes to it’s muzzle, she was horrified:

That's not the looks of horse - Cut cheeks with rows of teeth like saws Snake-akin eyes are split by sword The girl burst into tears and ran away. — Who dared to disturb the Great Sage Equal To Heaven during sleep!?, — shouted Sun Wukong threateningly. Sanzang haven’t woke up by a miracle. Glancing at the disappointed and irregular horse’s muzzle, he sighed and asked: — Did this child tried to steal something? The horse wrinkled his already distorted maw and shook his head. Receiving it as an answer, the Handsome Monkey King sat at cave’s entrance and called the wet brother to come inside as a horse supposed to. “Yeah”, thought Bai Long Ma, “raindrop walking won’t be soon”.

Notes:

It was made for Ao Lie as one of those photoshops of dog mouth horses, but at some moment it stopped to be a shitpost