#well. i just thru up<3< /div>
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in my hits different eraaa
#this is a fully insane thing to post. for many reasons okay one that like#the last few days have been insaneee i have been very like. anxious and sad and confused and thought things where a lot more like.#Final than they actually where. in regards to the situations.#so i was kind of loosing my mind in an spotify hand me the hollow maisie peters and the breathe tswift and the rwlym tswift and the-#way in regards to this. and i didnt play hit different but i damm well could have.#but then last night i started to calm down abt it and the situation was settled a bit more#so i am no longer well. that insane abt it yk we r feeling more stable emotionally maybe i hope#so why am i in my hit different era you ask?#well. i just thru up<3#not on the street but all over the bathroom which is worse. bc i have to clean it up#which im putting off but ill stop now#but HOLY SHITT UHH#idk why but i feel like 2022+2023 iv been smm trowing up sm more than normal#also noticed a trend of like. life being very difficult and stressful and the worst and then#yipeee im throwing up everywhere<3 but this has to be the most egregious example#flappy rambles
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Alex and my farmer Cosmo (he/him)
#my replacement pen came in today ican finally start working on artfight attacks YAYYYYY#ive been clawing at the walls itching to get my ideas out for weeks#i drew alex with wavy hair in the second drawing bc i got his dialogue where he stops using hair gel and i hc he has naturally#wavy hair ^_^ i think it goes well with him softening up as u get to knw him.. now im just trying to work up the courage to give#him a bouquet lol. i keep flip flopping on whether i wanna play this file thru my oc or just fuck it and go self insert#but i like building little ideas in my mind for how my farmer would fit in pelican town and how they run their farm so i think ill keep thi#an oc thing. i have another file on pc since 1.6 isnt released for mobile yet so thatll be my self insert thing where plan on#shooting my shot with harvey. HES CUTE.. I LIKE HIM#cosmo seems pretty deadpan but only bc hes hardly fazed by anything and after working at joja for like 4 years. hes#desperate to touch grass. i think his personality would bounce off well with alex's since he comes off as arrogant to get a reaction#frm others and then u have cosmo whos like 😐👍. i like to think itd drive him up the wall LOL#he gets more of a reaction out of cosmo when he shows him his soft side which encourages him not to front all the time <3#my art#myart#my oc#oc#sdv farmer#sdv oc#stardew valley#sdv#sdv alex#alex mullner#doodles
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so thinking back i haven't reread the captive prince trilogy since kings rising came out. which is wild bc it's one of my favorite series in the universe BUT also tracks bc when it exists in a subsect of my books where i know if i read it my entire personality will be subsumed. but i'm rereading them now now and my GOD what a delight. i devoured the first two in a day and remembered exactly why they were so so so so good. and i've saving kings rising bc that one changed my brain chemistry when it came out, i've never read such a tightly done, masterfully paced final book in a series to match it.
#captive prince#there are some books i read so rarely bc i know that they fucking eat my entire brain lmao#my godddddddd. my god!!!!!!!!! theyre so good tho!!!!#the funny thing is even with all the triggers and problematic shit in the first book i actually really love that one#because it's SUCH a good set-up. all the foreshadowing done well all the different plot points teed up perfectly for books 2 & 3#i trust c.s. pacat with plot so much it's insane. girl knows how to weave a narrative that's all i'm saying.#damen is so blorbo coded. i would die for him. i have So Many Feelings about him#me underlining every single instance where damen's emotional intelligence is thru the roof: LOOK AT MY PERCEPTIVE BOY!#i wrote a post about this but the amount of people who say damen is dumb or unobservant or oblivious... i'll kill them.#laurent also just. breaks my heart.#and i would die for him too.
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he's so pretty
#i wonder who this is about#def not suna that's fs#(it's abt suna)#the only thing getting me thru this nyc trip is thinking abt him#my no. 1 tip is when u feel anxious just think abt ur cc being there w u#works everytime#getting my blood drawn? definitely saw haji/oikawa there w me#real men suck!!!#suna nendoroid please save me#i will buy him all the chuupets#new motivation unlocked#work to get money 2 buy suna chuupets#i've never abbreviated sm in my life i'm so tired but i must profess my love to the world#i don't even know how i end up in the tags it's like i'm hiding from the my actual post on the tag screen yk LMAO#i love suna#the longest contract was so cute omg#ALSO LMK SAY THIS HERE 😭😭 PROBABLY LIKE 3 PEOPLE SAID NO TO A WRITING PROMPT EVEN WHICH IS SUCH A MINORITY#but my head really goes “well then i guess no one would care u should not do a prompt event”#no i'm def going to i'm already thinking out prompts LMAOO#spilling out all my thoughts rn#ALSO IT'S OK TO SAY NO I JUST OVERTHINK EVERYTHING I TOTALLY GET IT#ness' brainvomit <3
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oughh i wanted to do a cute laishuro take on the blu ray extras (what if laios had been eaten instead) but lets be honest. they absolutely would not have made it as far without laios
#they wouldve died. badly.#unfortunately ive lost the link saw it on twitter but i think laios gets knocked unconscious and imagines that it had been him that got ate#and not falin. and falin is the only one to advocate for them going back#but no one wants to go along with her presumably because they dont care for laios that much#(or at least this is laios' perception as this is just his imagination)#but also because she doesnt know as much about monsters and couldnt come up with a good argument for going back in#<- didnt know about prolonged digestion in red dragons and marcille assumed the interval was the same as in humans (1-3 days)#BUT...................... when everyone leaves falin turns back and goes in herself. and laios realises that shes always been that sort#of person and theres no point in ruminating over what could have been.#now. i want to believe that had they known falin would turn back without them. that at the very least shuro would have gone in with her.#theres no way he would have let her go on her own. and frankly i dont think he would have assembled his retainers#to go save laios rip...#marcille would have gone if she had known falin would turn back. and honestly i think she mightve known her well enough to guess this irl#anyways what i was GOING to say was maybe as they venture thru the dungeon shuro gets to learn more about laios thru falins view#maybe they get to know each other more and he opens up more about how he thinks of laios and like. falin is able to explain more about him#diffuse tension and give him a better understanding. like yeah hes still annoyed at him but he has a better view of how laios is#they get close and become better friends but maybe it also helps falin make up her mind and let him down gently............................#and maybe they go and save laios but the dragon thing still happens to him#and its again a 'you felt like that all along??' situation irt him wanting to be a monster but it turns out ok and they (laishuro)#open up to one another in the end.........................#but. again im gonna be real. they would not have made it that far LMAOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO laios the goat for real
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its come to my attention that i cant get my nose ring. out of my nose.
#It. Should not be this hard surely..#bruh i swear if its like#bc i got my nostril pierced same time as my ears and all 3 were pierced w the same stud and#One of the earrings would NOT come out bc the earring literally wouldnt come apart and i ended up pulling the entire stud thru. to get itou#NOT on purpose iw as just trying to take it apart and it was easier for it to GO THRU MY WHOLE EAR than for the stud to come apart the way#its supposed to But the other ear was fine.. and once both were outt i tried just taking them apart and putting together outside of anythin#so there was no resistance anywhere#and yeah the one that came out weird just doesnt come apart. i have it now and its like GENUinely stuck together maybe i could get it apart#with like Pliers b ut#but the otehr one is so smooth to take apart and put together#SO IM SAYING#IF THE ONE IN MY NOSE. IS LIKE THE FUCKED UP ONE. IM GONNA BE SO MAD. GET OUT OF MY FUCKING NOSE#whatev i dont need to ttake it out right this instant but#i bought a hoop Like ia ctually want for it and i was just trying today#to take the stud out and put it back in so ik how to do it when i get the new jewelry#But well#I looked up a tutorial and everything but if its just like the stud itself is crooked inside and tahts why it wont come apart WTF am i#supposed to do in that situation#<- go back to the piercer#But i dont want to.
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🫖🐭☁️🍚
#so i did meet my old friend from years ago yesterday. i was sooooo nervous omgggg. and i was waiting outside the café we agreed on#and then saw them walk in and i was like omgggg. the anxiety... but then i gathered courage and walked towards it and thry saw me thru the#window and came out and immediately hugged me. then they were like 'omg i've been so nervous. even more than before like a date!!'#so that made me relax a bit. i feel like i dont really fully estimate what i mean to them. maybe they care about me as well haha !!#then we just got our stuff and i chose a smoothie and was ready to pay but they just got it with their stuff (they work at this chain so#they got a discount). i feel so so bad & anxious when someone else pays for me. like i feel like a burden#but i asked twice if i should send them money for it and they were like no that's fine. so i had to tell myself to just shut up abt it 🥲#bc if u keep asking u make it into a thing and make them uncomfortable etc. so i really appreciated that and it was nice even if i felt bad#but yeah then we just sat down and talked. and it was so much easier to talk to them than i had been worried abt#like it flew nicely and yeah.. i feel like i forgot a lot abt them. like they're good at conversating. so they kept it going & even if i was#awkward it was fine for them. i did however get swept up in my own anxiety so as they asked me questions i answered#but then was too whirlwindy so i didnt really ask as much back and there were things i wanted to ask but didnt :')))#then they had cards and a card game with them. so we played for a bit too. and it was a lot of fun!!! (i was anxious and kinda slow lmao#bc when i dont know smth or the rules etc already my brain stops working so yeah.. even if it was simple games i was like um um what do i do#felt stupid but yeah again they didnt do anyhing to contribute to me feeling stupid but i still felt slow >.<#but i still thought that was so much fun. i wanna do more of that T-T like yeah...that was nice#then we took a lil longer walk to a bus stop before hastily said goodbye bc the busses came T-T#it was really really really nice tho. i have missed them a lot#and i didnt .. think we would ever see eachother again. i really didnt think this could happen#im so glad i somehow got brave enough to message them and im so so glad they wanted to see me too#i cant help but wish i could go back to when we were younger#and we spent every day in school together and messaged during the days and evenings and spent sm time together#when we went into the city like several times a week and took long walks. ahh... well. im glad we got to have those moments#& idk what will happen now. i really really want to see them again. even if we'll never be that close friends again i'd *wish* that we could#still be in touch. but im so bad at replying which doesnt go over great with them.. i'll try my best to reply quicker to them#*if* they message me. sadly i cant erase my avpd but i'll try my best to reply faster if and when they message)#they also complimented my sweater i was wearing (which is my fav sweater) !!!! and yeah.. they looked so cool. which they always have#and i kept thinking abt how nice their eye makeup was (i was too shy to compliment it tho bc im really bad at like 'nice' affectionate and#anything feeling related. like im so bad... so i couldnt say anything </3)#ugh it was just so nice to sit and talk with them. im so glad i went despite my fears. bc this was so good and nice :')))
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you do not i mean you do NOT understand the absolute insanity i go through whenever i listen to the message shou left for yashiki in shibito magire like akjsfhkasjd DAWG??? BRO??????? the fact that NOT ONLY did it take mashita threatening to tell his mom to make shou back off but ALSO the fact that shou actually listens to mashita, theres also the fact that MASHITA TRUSTS SHOU ENOUGH TO TELL HIM TO BE HIS AND YASHIKI'S BACKUP IF ANYTHING HAPPENS TO THEM. LIKE..... BRO??? AM I INSANE OR>.... and its also implied that mashita USED BASEBALL TERMS to tell him this!!!! bcus shou is way fukin into baseball!!!!!!!!!!! am i crazy???? i feel insane about them okay they make me literally crazy. AND THEN SHOU JUST GOES "haha but like thats ever gonna need to happen, you two have got this in the bag" LIEK...... BRUHHHHHH. i am unwell about them i need to be taken out back BUT I LOVE THEM OKAY THEY HAVE MY WHOLE SOUL,,,,, they are my guys, my detective duo, my gummies,,,,,,,,, i dont even know if this post makes any sense but I DONT CARE. OKAY. I LOVE THEM.
#talk tag#spirit hunter series#spirit hunter death mark#shibito magire#shou nagashima#satoru mashita#you dont understand how ill these two make me#i have soooooo so many ideas about these two its crazy. i have to get normal-er#its about the mutual trust okay. its about the mutual care. its about saying it but without actually saying it. do you understand me.#“shou looks up to mashita like a brother” yashiki you cant pull this shit on me okay im going to tear my hair out#nobody understands this antisocial pi and delinquent baseball player like i do okay. okay#you are NOT allowed to show me how much two characters care about each other bcus i WILL go insane about them#(and also write fics about them failing to save each other <3)#(or well. mostly just mashita failing to save shou. i luv putting that man thru the wringer <33)
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ok i got a little emotional bc i have gotten so much better at putting on nail polish and it's 😭
#i used to be so fucking bad at it when i started last year#and it made me feel a little bad it was so frustrating and lowkey upsetting#bc it's already not easy to go out wearing nail polish as a transmasc person who doesn't “”pass“” super well#it was super difficult at first to not feel self conscious and like. uncomfortable with being gnc#and on top of that i SUCKED at it so it was like i'm going thru this nerve wracking thing and it doesn't even look good ????#but slowly i got both more comfortable going out wearing nail polish AND better at applying it#i've finally bought this like nail polish corrector pen thing a few weeks ago and i just painted my nails and barely needed to use it!!!#even my right hand looks good!!! i didn't mess up in any visible way!!!!#it's just. yeah it's silly but i'm proud of myself for this bc wearing nail polish feels really good for me it's very gender euphoria#so to have gotten better at the whole thing and so feeling less uncomfortable doing it! yes!!!!#it still hurts that i get misgendered even more when i wear it and i still sometimes get self conscious but. i deal with it bc i like#genuinely love having my nails painted <3#ok sorry i'll shut up. gender feelings are . so overwhelming sometimes#nico rambles
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Sort of a ramble, sort of me just writing my thoughts out while I'm stuck with writer's block, but I keep thinking about how Fulcrum was in stasis for roughly 3 million years??
Like, that's a long time, even for Cybertronians. Not a really long time, not an entire lifespan. But still, it's a large chunk of a normal lifespan just gone. Poof.
One second you're crawling across the pockmarked terrain of an alien planet, surrounded by the sound of gunfire, and the shouting and screaming before and after each earth shuddering impact of another k-con hitting the ground. And then it's quiet. You're not there anymore. You're drifting somewhere between not alive and just asleep. Preserved somewhere in the background of a doomed body, ignored by time and space, still here, but also not.
And then there's sound. Not gunfire. Not shouting or screaming. Not the sounds that'll haunt you till your dying days, your own death sentence pounding in your head. No. Just voices, talking, standing out against a silent, dead world. Wondering. Joking. Bickering. Familiar. Just, not familiar to you. And you're awake. Pulled back from the nothingness you've been frozen in, consciousness tugged forwards with the yank of a fuel pump and the nearness of life.
These two moments are roughly 3 million years apart, but only minutes, maybe even seconds, to him. From a hectic harrowing battlefield, to an old silent graveyard in one blink.
How long did it take to really sink in? I mean, he seems to just roll with it. He doesn't seem particularly bothered. But like, what happened outside of what we see? How did he really feel?
Also, his body aged without him. While his mind preserved itself, freezing him as he was right then, his body was left to weather Clemency for all those years. No wonder it crumbled to dust when he jumped off the world sweeper. It's probably a miracle of some kind that it didn't just fall apart each time someone leaned on him.
And even after they rebuild him, give him a better, newer body. His spark, it's casing, all the irreplaceable core bits that make up their inner bodies, it aged in the time without him. Does he feel it? Does it make his body even more foreign to him?
Then he's also a technician with information that's 3 million years out of date. Lucky him that the scavengers probably weren't working with top of the line material. But still it's gotta be weird when faced with anything brand new, because a lot can change and progress in 3 million years, and now some of the knowledge he once prided himself in is obsolete.
Besides those things, his view of the galaxy, of the war, of their kind, of other kinds, is one of the few things actually pointed out when it comes to him being stuck in the past. So, how often were his old views challenged? Facts of life he held close proved to no longer true? There's 3 million years worth of new science, new beliefs, new words, new terms, new views.
And sure, some of it can be familiar, because they're an ever evolving kind, and they have patterns, core beliefs, repeating behaviors, but a lot of it's gonna be unfamiliar at the same time, because it's 3 million years worth of catch up, it's not like missing last week's trend.
In a way, it makes him a living relic of a bygone era for Decepticons. It would've been really interesting to have had that explored a little more.
#rq i wanna say i love seeing others thoughts on these if you have them. esp those that have thought about it longer than i lol#like. im still just starting to sink my teeth into the lore and put things together. so your thoughts are much appreciated#sometimes i wish that i could turn these rambles into those really well worded. slightly pretentious. but in a fun way. character metas?#but i dont think i can organize my thoughts that well. so. rambles it is lol#not to say rambling is lesser or smth tho. i love a good ramble. love to read them. i support ramblers#speaking of rambling-#idk why it fascinates me so. but theres just something rlly interesting about fulcrum being somewhat stuck in the past#i think it could've played interestingly into his and kroks dynamic had it been explored more?#like. the past and history play big parts in their lives. krok having studied it. and fulcrum having been fast forwarded thru it#it would've been interesting to see them talk more about it? since logically fulcrum wouldve gone to krok for more of the 3mill year rundow#and its like. krok is shown to be really knowledgeable on not only history. but cultures as well. theres and others.#so certain eras of their own culture would probably be a slight interest of his. esp decepticon ones.#and then theres fulcrum. who pretty much got plucked from the empire era only to land in kroks lap (metaphorically) ((...unless?))#so heres this walking talking piece of history. and a dude that has a sort of passion for history. why not explore it more?#and like. yeah. the ''history'' krok has studied is all mostly shit he lived through. but people study the times they lived through-#-because while they may have lived through it. theirs is only one perspective. a good historian takes into account multiple perspectives#idk where i'm going with this now. smth smth fulcrum relying on krok for future stuff and krok having someone to talk history stuff with#i just. augh. i wanna know what their dynamic is more. what we see in the comics is so back and forth at times#like. they seem to hit it off pretty well. but then fulcrum fucks it up ig by being oblivious and a little too ''i can fix him'' vibey#and his taste in comedy is bad. to say the least. which is apparently grounds for messy divorce#also krok is sometimes cool with selling a whole dude. at least when the dude is their befriended giant killer autobot buddy :/#that is also grounds for divorce. obviously#sorry. this is derailing the more i start thinking about how messy fulkrok could be. like. ough <3#they're a little ''i hate my wife'' coded. but in a greater scav codependent poly way. and it's more krok being annoyed with fulcrum#its like. fulcrum: ''i can fix him bcs i need to feel validated'' vs krok: ''wtf is wrong with this guy?! who does he think he is??''#i think they'd want to pick each other apart intellectually. maybe emotionally. smth smth two officers. both disgraced. and power dynamics#its fun. they're both hypocrites. they'd need couples therapy. its also 4am. shit. ok goodnight
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FUTURISMO ⚡️⚡️⚡️
buwan ng wika already passd but i still wanted 2 draw sum futurism in modernized filipiñana garb 4 funs
#detail dump time uhm#member 3’s alampay is meant to represent those boost pack belts they have on their chest#…or maybe boost pack binder???#whatever#two wrapped tapis on their waist in place of those lime green hostler thingies#wooden bakya with that#3 connected dots thing on their sneakers#cyber’s got a sharp silver laced salakot meant to be in place of both his headphones and his vinyl discs#bakunawa mask since felix’s mask is tied with some sort of in game mythos?#barong embroidery is made to look like those ink blot test thingies in psychology or something#idk i made it squiggly on purpose to also look like brain lines also#diskarte#just gave him sum white platform boots 4 the sake of contemporary aesthetics#also psychedelic designs on his barong and member 3’s puffy see thru pants 4 da matchyyy#ok thats all if u read all this …well congratulations i guess ty for putting up with my rambles#chi tingz#brc#bomb rush cyberfunk#filipino au#pinoy au#dj cyber#futurism#brc dj cyber#brc futurism
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not to be a milennial but harry potter and the prisoner of azkaban really is that bitch....
#mom wanted to rewatch the movies so we've been going thru them <3#talk about a movie thats just like. grief. i turn into the jamie lee curtis halloween trauma supercut#SORRY..... the visuals are peak like that IS the hp vibe to ME and i am BLOWN AWAY this movie was made in 2004 it feels ahead of its time#the first two are so whimsical and magical enrapturing and this movie is like. a well worn cardigan. this feels 2011 cozycore to me#sorry but the introduction of lupin becoming a comforting trusted guardian type of figure AND the dementors representing hollow depression#this 13 yr old whos been kept in the dark on so many things being extra vulnerable prey to them bc of the severe trauma#but getting lessons on how to withstand that creeping dread.. through happy memories... still bonding w lupin increasngly ouagh...#the grief between them both over james and lily. also btw ofc defense against the dark arts being fighting yr fears through laughter. aaaaaa#and then sirius. black. im. i know we meme on the twelve years of it! in azkaban! but as a bitch whos now closer to those characters in age#and can appreciate and understand them obv more than i could when i was. a tween. that just hits like ok shit. VALID#so valid and real to see the child of your friends you knew at that age but who DIED and then see the friend who betrayed them#to see like the best of BOTH of them mirrored and living on in him and be like yknow what???? you WILL be protected frm that same fate#hoooo the briefest moment where harry might hope things will turn out okay. w sirius' name being cleared and peter having to explain himself#and sirius being like hey i get it if you want to stay w your family that is fine but. if you wanna move in w me...#(harry relaying this to hermione later as well. dreaming of a place fr just the two of them somewhere in the countryside#somewhere..... sirius might see the sky..... bc he thinks he would like that after all those years locked up do not even touch me rn.......)#only fr everything to turn to shit two friends fighting w deadly force. the chance to set this right slipping off into the night.#a million dementors descending relentlessly until utter exhaustion and certain death. some strange salvation? fight for a second chance?#but then still havign to say goodbye when they only just GOT this. and everything still being so. god. and lupin having to leave as well.#the thought of sirius also WANTING that guardian type connection but being forced to live in 1. a cave barely living more freely than before#2. then being confined to the stuffy somber abusive home he ran away from as a teen w that portrait still up there and everything.. bitch...#oh man the way i KNOW when we get to ootp (my favourite) its gonna leave me blasted into a million little pieces#the way i know shit like the knowing wink the entirety of the wall tapestry room scene and of course nice one james is gonna DESTROY me..#dont even talk to me abt that dark turn at the end of gof and how everything after gets soooo. god. w everything just getting destroyed and.#i cant even think abt it i cant even talk about it. wah#i dont care btw that they aged those guys up undermining how insanely young these people died. perfect casting fr the remaining marauders ok
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for like 3 weeks i was wondering why i was sleeping so much and felt listless. and just now I managed to email 3 people and responded to a month old message in the span of an hour because I got back to TAKING MY FUCKIN MEDS..........
#MOTHER FFFFUCKER#to be fair. my doc said I could stop taking them while im on break since i wouldnt need to be constantly pumped on stimulants#im not sure if it was a side effect but i managed to take like 3 different naps in one day and STILL managed to sleep thru the whole night#at least 2 days into my break. the weird thing is i didnt feel more or less rested afterwards. but mentally i think im in a good place rn#to really put the level of awakeness im at rn i feel weirdly confident i could start one piece. also bc of that sick new opening it BANGS#the song is really good and im in love with the animation style. did some digging and it seems one of the lead animators is masato mori#but i could be wrong. it seems he also did some work on mp100 which could explain a lot lol.. he uses smear frames really well to convey#consistent movement and fluidity!!! someone else might have done color design but it works really really well esp with odas style!!#just love the overall vibe and aesthetic and id really love to study it and incorporate a bit of it into my art.. especially the thick#outlines which i think helps to separate characters and objects on screen. though i have to say the style is definitely more suited to#animation bc of the simpleness and smears. maybe that will help me explore shapes and perspective when i draw... i wanna get better#at drawing poses and angles but i have a hard time wrapping my head around space and using perspective guide lines NGHHHH#i wonder if it has to do with my dogshit ability to judge distance. not depth perception but like. judge how far smth is in metres etc#im also wearing an N95 for the first couple weeks back bc of the wave. absolutely NO BODY is wearing a mask its so fucking over#where im sitting ive heard 5 different people coughing probably not into their elbows!!! and im just. head in my fucking hands#there was a kid sitting a couple seats away in class coughing as he pleases and i wanted to grab him in a chokehold so badly. PLEASEE#ive been annoying my family by asking them to mask up and reminding them to bring masks when they go out and showing them news articles#but at least its working bc we ordered some KN95s and my mom is at least taking me seriously so. please dont be afraid to speak up abt your#health. take care of yourself and others however u can!! wear that mask indoors at your maskless friends house!!! stay home when u can!!#im wearing a surgical mask at home too bc my parents have '''a dry throat cough''' and they are so bad at coughing into their sleeves#also im pretty sure dry throat isnt transmissible bc my brother started coughing too so.. i also tested negative but they havent tested yet#im also not a doctor but i have to keep reminding ppl whenever i can that covid and flu work differently. covid is new and too recent to#have nearly as much research done on it. it seems its also compounding so instead of building immunity it weakens the body and spreads to#to other systems which might explain brain fog and muscle weakness. i remember someone early in the pandemic got infected and it messed up#their smell/taste receptors so bad that they cant eat most foods and that stays in the front of my mind when i think abt covid. christ#yapping
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i think the craziest part of the percy jackson series—(warning i’m gonna be talking about child abuse)
—is that sally married gabe. “she was using him to hide percy’s demigod scent.” she married a man who physically abused her child. like. i get it’s a very nuanced situation and that demigods literally don’t even exist but yk what does exist? moms who marry men that abuse their children… like girl. there are plenty of bum ass men who smoke weed and eat pizza and looove their ciggies and instead of abusing ur kid they would straight up ignore him and if they were a demigod their scent would STILL be hidden
#sol’s orangutan hours#idk being hungover is making me nostalgic <3 like im experiencing memories thru another pov hehe <3 <3#ok no jk that’s fucked up and also the last sentence of the post is giving v much “umm just don’t marry bad men 🥸☝️ its not that fucking ha#d#but sue me i’m just a girl i remember reading a book in the eighth grade where this girl was in percy’s shoes and she got so pissed that sh#threw a glass bottle and him and then made a run for it#and her agreement was that if she could do that as a child why couldn’t her mom fight back for her daughter#*argument…. ugh i’m literally feeling crazy rn lemme make some typos#it was a peter pan retelling and i agreed heavily w that at the time so ik my opinion of thag should have prob changed as i’ve grown up#but it hasn’t bc like… that’s your kid. your tiny kid. and your letting ur grown man put their hands on them#*youre!!! omg… i need to go to sleep#and also not saying that sally isn’t strong!! she is she literally survived that shit and protected her son#but while doing so she inadvertently contributed to his abuse#and i feel like that’s not talked about enough#hopefully i explained this well my tummy HURTS
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If I'd actually posted all my pjo art when I made it instead of hoarding it like a little goblin for no apparent reason today I might have been known as the octavian guy instead of the joffrey guy...scary thought...
#.txt#went thru my old pjo art the other day...man#I actually didn't draw him that much compared to how much I draw joffrey lol. ig i had more shame#but also there's simply less to his character. what am I even supposed to take inspiration from#'less to his character' there's NOTHING#woahhh a villain that poses no real threath has no depth and is just there to be laughed at how interesting#i say this as if I didn't make up 1048399574 scenarios in my head with him#when i wasn't into got yet but i was like. vaguely aware of joffrey I'd look at him like woah octavian fancast#now I'm like. um no??? they have a completely different vibe you idiot -_-#what did I see in this guy like genuinely#ok but the thing is that octavian enjoyers were so removed from the source material. I mean obviously they were. bc he's not well written#or even that much of a character tbh. ofc you'd have to make shit up#so like what im saying is that maybe I woulnd't have been actually. bc I enjoyed him in the evil rat bastard way#meanwhile everyone else was like 'aw poor baby :( rick sucks he doesn't understand him :(( I could treat him better'#once I did see someone say that about joffrey but they turned out to be a weirdo so. lol#'what did I see in this guy he's a nothing character...anyway I love tommen and myrcella my little meowmeows <3'#they're very layered TO ME. my beloved canon ocs
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Going through a straight up comical amount of irritating situations to get the stupid 4* guaranteed ticket from the welcome to sekai campaign. It Will Be Mine.
#I’m resuming this tomorrow it’s been hours now I’m just mad#I’m home because my parents are moving to a different state and I needed to pack whatever was left#and for some reason we just keep old devices when we’re done with them#so I borrow an adapter to allow me to connect my ancient unworking iPad mini to my laptop#factory reset it. i have to reset an old email to access the old Apple id to fully reset it.#it won’t connect to the wifi so I have to reset the settings. i find out it’s too old to run pjsk.#i find an old phone that should work. i reset it as well. I’m able to download pjsk & it takes 20 minutes.#pjsk crashes everytime I try to open it. i attempt to run bluestacks on my computer. bluestacks doesn’t have 64 bit for mac yet.#i get a free trial of parallels and download windows onto my laptop. this takes 40 minutes.#i try to download and run bluestacks on that. m1 macs apparently can’t run bluestacks 64 bit through parallels.#i go find the final old phone that I had forgotten about. it takes forever to charge because the charging port is fucked up. i reset it as#well. it can’t connect to wifi. i try a hotspot on my current phone. service is too awful. i try to do wifi sharing from my laptop.#you have to be connected to the router via a cable for that to work.#at this point it has been like 3 hours. I’m giving up because I’ve been down this route before#when I attempted to run 32 bit steam games on m1 mac#(wine64 doesn’t exist for m1 macs yet -> attempt to run boot camp -> boot camp isn’t a thing anymore on Apple silicon -> attempt to run#several different programs that allow me to run windows on a mac. none of them work. ->#look into linux & give up. -> attempt to implement the unfinished/unbottled wine64 code thru terminal. ->#fuck up and delete some important file & have to fix that (misery inducing) -> keep trying. i think I downloaded a Mac coding program at#some point? i realize I have zero coding knowledge and this is a mistake. -> give up and purchase crossover. game doesn’t even work. ->#3 months later update to the latest OS so I can have enough storage to play psychonauts 2. find out the $60 crossover#purchase was a bad idea because ‘heehee crossover doesn’t work on that buy the new version’ (fuck crossover).#my toxic trait is my belief that I can figure out anything via google and sheer stubbornness. usually this is true. occasionally there are#exceptions to this rule. most of them are because owning Apple products is a mistake.#i think if I reset the router tomorrow I can solve this problem but I can also just go elsewhere with better service or wait until I’m home#now it’s a matter of pride. and also free 4*/I have nothing better to do because I’m stuck here until Tuesday.#<- this is all normal behavior by the way. who doesn’t spend 8 hours ramming their head against a problem every once and a while. enrichment#mine#oh I forgot. i also looked into cloning the app but that would cost money for something that might not even work.#‘just log out and make an alt’ and risk losing my account? I’m stupid enough to overwrite it on accident.
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