#well not trying to be unique i mean like...knowing my own self i dont have one sbd it mskes creating very hard despite that being all i

[bandomgay]

.

[engstlersbueckers]

E. Engstler NSFW Alphabet

A/N: Haven’t seen anyone do this yet. lets mix it up.lmk what ya think and apologies for any mistakes!

A = Aftercare (what they’re like after sex)

She’s an angel when it comes to aftercare.Asking multiple times if she was too rough with you and no matter how much you insist you can do it on your own,she always cleans you up. “Uh uh. You stay right here I got it baby.”

B = Body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

Emily’s an ass girl. I said wtf I said. She’s always grabbin on your ass. Loves rubbing it when you’re cuddling and dont get me started on when she’s fucking you from behind. The sound your ass makes when she’s hittin it from the back drives her crazy. As for you,her hands(quite literally) have a chokehold on you. All she’s gotta do is move her hands in a certain way and your mind just fixates on it.

C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically)

She’s addicted to making you cum. She wont stop until you’re gushing all over her fingers,tongue,strap,etc. Your taste is something she can’t live without.

D = Dirty secret (pretty self explanatory,)

She’s not really super secretive about what she wants to do with you. If it’s something she wants to try she’s gonna tell you straight up.

E = Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?)

Oh she definitely knows what she’s doing. The best sex you’ve ever had in your life was from her. The way she fucks is unique,but she can lay it down like her strap is attached to her body.

F=Favorite position (this goes without saying)

Doggy. Like i said a few letters ago she loves the feeling of your ass bouncing against her.And in doggy,she can still get up in your ear and talk to you,pull your hair,and reach around and play with your clit all she wants.

G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? Are they humorous? etc.)

Not much laughing during the act but afterwards she’ll have you cracking up. Usually saying something dumb like “I hope I wont lookin’ at you all crazy I was really into it.”

H = Hair (how well groomed are they? Does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)

She always says “The only hair you’re gonna find is on my head” so do with that what you will.

I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect)

You mean everything to her so she fucks you like it. She takes her time to warm you up before she even takes off her own clothes.When she’s putting her strap in you, she holds you really close and kisses you while she slides it in. “There it is…That’s my fuckin’ girl.So pretty for me.”

J = Jack off (masturbation headcanon)

She doesn’t touch herself much. Maybe on certain occasions like an away game she’ll call you and you get off together. But not much other than that. She has great self control.

K = Kink (one or more of their kinks)

She’s pretty big on asphyxiation. She loves to choke you. Especially if you’re in front of a mirror,she loves seeing your eyes glaze over in the reflection and feeling how tight you get when she does it.

L = Location (favorite places to do the do)

Yall have pretty much done it all over the apartment. But her personal favorite is in the shower.The warm water running down your bodies while you kiss and touch all over each other,the way she presses you against the shower door. Theres something about it thats so hot to her.

M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going)

The sounds you make get her so riled up,but it’s one particular sound you make every time she hits your g-spot,it almost bottoms her out she loves it so much.“Oh my god,fuck. Make that noise again baby,I love it.”

N = No (something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

Anything either of you are uncomfortable with you wont do.Pretty straightforward.

O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)

She loves giving you head.Every single time she does you damn near have to push her off you to get her to stop. The sensation of her piercings just intensifies it too.So anytime shes licking up your slit,or sucking your clit you can feel them<3

P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)

Definitely depends on the mood. If you’re feeling really intimate,she’ll fuck you nice and slow and deep. Taking her time to fill you up to the hilt. But when she’s angry or really fired up,it’s game over for you.She’ll have your eyes in the back of your head within seconds. Just pounding away at you like you’re her favorite sex toy.

Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)

There���s not really much time in either of your schedules for quickies so you don’t really do them often. Unless it’s right before a date or an important event and you have some time to kill.

R = Risk (are they game to experiment? Do they take risks? etc.)

Both of you agreed to be pretty open minded with a lot of things,including things that involve your sex life.So she’s almost always down for experimenting.

S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?)

Baby,she’s an athlete. She can go for however long she pleases. She even teases you about being able to keep up after a couple rounds. “No way you’re tappin’ out on me already? C’mon gimme one more.”

T = Toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?)

Most of the toys that you own she uses them on you. Of course you can use them whenever you want but she prefers to help you out. Like if its a vibrator she’ll sit you between her legs and keep it right on top of your clit while she teases your breasts and talks you through it.“I know…I know baby. You’re doing so good for me. Makin’ me so proud.”

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)

She loves teasing you. When she does it she’ll do something real subtle like “accidentally” resting her hand waay too close to your inner thigh. Then when you call her out she’ll play dumb.

V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)

She’s more of a talker than anything.But she prefers when you’re the one getting loud for her. “Dont cover your fuckin’ mouth lemme hear it. Let everyone know whos fuckin’ the shit out of this pussy.”

W = Wild card (a random

headcanon for the character)

Okay..personally I feel like she’s really into phone sex. Like i feel like a broken record when i say that she loves being verbal with you. And she thinks it’s so hot that she has the power to get you off even when you’re miles away from each other. Of course she’ll always leave you anticipating what she’s gonna do to you when she comes back. “Hope you don’t have anything planned cuz once I get home I’m tearin’ that pussy up.”

X = X-ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes)

She’s not on some wimpy dick shit. When she says she’s packing,she doesn’t just mean there’s a strap in her pants. That thing got some size to it. Her biggest one she has in “the shoebox” is an 8 inch. (It’s also your personal favorite :) )

Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?)

She can be hard to read sometimes,but when her sex drive is high,you can tell because she gets really handsy. Not just the usual touching but she’s constantly grabbing your ass ,kissing all over your neck,she can just be straight up pussywhipped sometimes.

A/N:Yay you made it to the end!! This is my first ever time writing one of these so I really hope you liked it. If you have any requests my inbox is always open. I love youu<3

-S🩷

[honeytonedhottie]

lessons in protecting ur peace⋆.ೃ࿔*:･🛍️

after reading the book pyscho cybernetics something that rly stuck out to me was that literally EVERYTHING IS UR MIND. and duh, thats what i've primarily based my blog on…💬🎀

but i wanted to talk about the idea that everything that u experience is because of ur mind and that goes into how you interpret things as well. so lets talk about how u can protect ur peace through ur reactions.

CAN WE NOT? ;

first, lets remember that everyone experiences the world differently and reacts to things differently from each other. based on subconscious belief, self concept, upbringing, trauma etc. therefore everyones perception of things is shaped by their own unique brain.

for example lets imagine that theres a rly pretty girl and shes rly sweet. the people around her have an idea in their mind that pretty girls are stuck up and mean, so they look for reasons to categorize her and prove themselves right. they look for ways to make her fit into the narrative that they've fed themselves…💬🎀

i give this example to show that peoples judgement of u is based more on them and their subconscious beliefs more then it is about you. period. someone else's problem with u isnt ur business. when u persist in a belief whether its consciously or subconsciously your reality will prove you right. your literally manifesting a belief that doesnt serve you so can we not?

PROTECT UR PEACE BY NOT TAKING THINGS PERSONALLY ;

taking things personally means, misinterpreting someone's thoughts/actions and believing them to be targeted toward us personally…💬🎀

this is particularly dangerous to our peace because when u take things personally you'll start to adopt what other people tell u about urself as fact. if someone calls u dumb then ur gonna believe them and think that something is wrong with you when that isnt the case.

if u know that ur actually rly intelligent and someone tells u that ur dumb, you won't care because you know that ur smart and you know that they're just projecting their beliefs unto you. you make the facts about you. not others.

YOU DECIDE THE FACTS ;

for a fun journal exercise i want you to write down the facts about yourself (u can also write down new traits that you'd like to manifest and make fact about urself) so open ur diary to a fresh page and write an about-me page. fill the page with positive facts about urself and who you are. these are the facts and if someone tells u otherwise, fact check em.

BE GENEROUS ;

people spew some crazy shit when they dont like you or are envious of you and the best way to respond is to first, not respond at all because they dont even deserve to get a reaction out of you. but if ur lowkey petty, add onto their accusations to make them look dumber.

like if they try to clock you about something and accuse u of something, make the accusation WORSE. ofc with nuance but have some fun with it sometimes.

people can't shame you for made up accusations if u dont care and if ur living in ur truth and therefore their agenda to try and bring u down to make themselves feel better is ultimately squashed. dont waste ur energy arguing with people and just keep that peace protected.

[umahumahumah]

How do you recreate the Hetalia artstyle so well

ok so.. .uhhhhhhhhhh honestly i dont even know how. which is why i am obviously qualified to make YOU, yes you, the person reading this, a tutorial

i psoted an incomplete tutorial on the hetalia art style some few months back and when i look back at it now, some things are just straight up wrong or need clarification (also its the same post where i accidentally sent multiple death threats to a random sex worker thinking they were just a porn bot oopsies) so if you guys still remember that, forget about it! all of it!!! this is a brand new, more accurate guide on how to draw himas style!

(quick warning though im just a weeb not a professional teacher by any means so dont take this as gospel and dont get mad if i got something wrong or something is confusing)

himastyle tutorial! (the better one) part 1

(link to part 2 here)

ok lets start off with the

HEADS

this is just the way i start drawing my heads personally. if i had to describe it, its basically a simplified stylized version of the loomis head method. proko has a good video on it! just give that a quick watch then take a look at my step by step guide

but besides this, there are some important things about the head that you should remember

the shape of the head is generally rectangular

compared to more typical ikemen styles, hetalia characters have a more rectangular head. HOWEVER their chins taper off to a very triangular shape. rarely do the chins flatten out like the guy on the left.

2. shorter face = younger/more feminine appearance

well... self explanatory. you can see in the diagram how changing the length of the face gives a character a more feminine/childish look.

if you feel that something looks kind of off, feel free to change it, but if it looks okay then lets move onto facial features!!!

NOSES:

ok so this might seem a little weird but i like drawing the nose first. its right in the middle of the face and is generally the easiest to get right. it also kind of acts as a divider between the eyes, especially useful when you're drawing in a 3/4 angle

which kind of look something like that i guess.....

or that if you want something less extreme

anyways while hetalia noses are kind of inconsistent they generally have the shape of these three lines. feminine/childlike characters have a smaller and subtler nose though

noses also never face fully straight ahead, so when drawing a front view, the nose slightly faces right or left (tbh himas characters rarely face the camera head on, so id refrain from drawing frontal views altogether but thats just me)

anyways lets move on to my second favorite part of the hetalia art style

EYES:

the eyes are the most important part of himas style. if all else fails, you can always recognize the style by the eyes. luckily for you, the eyes really arent complicated compared to other anime styles :D here is how i do it:

(feminine and childlike characters have bigger eyes)

you have probably noticed this but the pupils hima draws now has a more squiggly teary-eyed look compared to the pupils he drew then...

i subcounciously do a mixture of the two because i got used to drawing the old type, but if you wanna draw the new type of pupils just take note of their squigly shape and that they have one dominant highlight in the upper-middle area. uhhh.. or if youre like me just draw the old eyes as if you have parkinson's

anyways heres a step by step guide

and some fun eye variations!!! you can try using variants if youd like to give an oc a more unique look (you can also try making your own variants too but be careful of straying too far from the style)

so now about the eyebrow and the eyelid.... uhhh the eyelid doesnt really have a consistent length so just draw it however. feminine and childlike characters have thinner eyebrows but even then eyebrows should never be drawn as just a single line

we are close to finishing the face!!! now we can move onto

MOUTHS:

if you know how to draw a typical anime mouth, then hima mouths is easy peasy!

for closed mouths just draw a curved line with two dark blots for the corners of the mouth

i think that giving them a shaky look makes them look more expressive

open mouths are just random blobs, dont close off the bottom though, and theys till have those dark blots at the corner of the mouth

now then i'll move onto the

EARS + CHEEKS:

i decided to combine these two since these are probably the easiest parts of the face

hima's ears are pretty round and don't really vary in shape. inside the ears though....

it isnt very consistent, so don't think too hard about "getting them right". above are some ear variations i drew from one of the latest chapters of the manga

the cheeks are just a bunch of lines that can appear fully, or only on one cheek, or don't appear at all. i think it depends on level of detail, angle, or the character's emotion

these lines do not appear on rendered pieces

also if a character feels especially displeased they will gain heavy eyebags

so yay! we're pretty much done with the face!! look forward next time to where i cover hair, the body, and other stuff idk... i'll link the other parts to each other when i complete them

[gyarustarrr]

LORE LORE LORE!!!🗣️🗣️🗣️ (This is super long and my English is horrible for a native speaker so bear w me)

ILL BE REAL I DIDNT PUT MUCH THOUGHT INTO A REASONABLE BACK STORY but bcuz shes a self insert i had to make a mention for my bestie who can EASILY be in the pressure universe fr <3

Pre-lockdown: I think itd be unique that if Sebastian was used to give humans gills then Phanny can be used to find immortality cuz who doesnt love when a corrupt corporate entity tries to find the cure for death, happens all the time lol. I say for the important parts shes fused with an immortal jellyfish, my favorite jelly which im extreme jelly of 😼😼😼😼, and i would say that its possible that she could live forever IN THEORY with the dna of that jelly but that would have to be tested lmaooo.

I believe because shes also able bodied (mostly) she would be given similar jobs as Sebastian so shes not depressed, rotting, or lashing out. Not sure if they'd work together but she's observant and being a psychologist, she def psychoanalyzing the hell outta everybody in the facility out of boredom. She seems happy but ofc its a coping mech to make the best out of the absolute horrors around her, still emotional unstable and freaks tf out frequently. Once Sebastian frees everybody, she's free to roam and sees what Sebastian is doing. She asks to assist him in his goal but she only plays a part once Seb handles BIDNESS on land during lockdown. Post lockdown she scavenges for data and whatever here and there but shes mostly left alone or out of most of his operation, yk,,,working with Mr Lopee and all. She really tries to get close with Sebastian (despite emphasizing hes a married man, YEAH SURE BUDDY YOU'RE LIKE 32, WHATEVER MAKES U FEEL BETTER💀) and being the drama fiend i am, i think having a "moment of weakness" would lead to their complex semi romantic possibly toxic dynamic.

Fight: And as i did my research its highly debatable if Sebastian is telling pAInter the truth about getting them both out. Phanny would believe this without question cuz if he can make a plan and has all these skills and resources, he should be able to take everyone (this also includes other peoples inserts and ocs who are experiments because it makes the setting more lively and interesting). I even thought of a cool ass line my homie thought was cold asf for argument dialogue between Phanny and Seb about taking everyone back up to the surface.

Just to summarize: Phanny mentions how noble Seb is after making progress with his escape plan, assuming that he'll take at least as many people as possible including Phanny. Sebastian at this point is already trying to push her away post weakness moment and he know damn well he's just doing this for himself and never accounted to leave w/ a whole damn facility of sentient experiments. He just wanna see his mom again and hes already working in private with Mr Lopee i mean this is a one man escape plan. This ofc shatters Phanny cuz from what hes saying, nobody and he mean NOBODY is getting out of here with him. Hes not a savior and hes not responsible for people he dont even know or fuck with like tf?? And Phannys like OKAY? Nobody's asking you to be JESUS but can you at least be Moses?? Free us so we can all get justice! Explain why you can't take a handful and come back once u take this damn company down?? What about your promise to pAInter? To ME.

Ofc it ends in a big brawl, think Mark getting his shit rocked by his own dad (Omniman from invincible) and they just have this heartbreaking dialogue and they split ways.

Post fight + breakdown: After this, Phanny is basically losing it. I even have a vision for this if it was actually in game and she was an actual character with weight to the gameplay. Like crying and wailing in the vents and pipes, shit breaking, Phanny not being seen for a majority of the game until shes physically stopping u from going through doors and rushing the player. Not to kill them, she loves the expendables and protects them but if she really has to if it means Sebastian can get out/she gets to see another day then...

Plus i drew what that would look like in my last post where shes just standing in the dark in the corner blocking the door. Even if shes not blocking the door she's obviously going through something and can't be interacted with, she just follows the player with her eyes and breathes heavily. If its not that then shes crying by the the water and interacting with her gets the player a DEVIOUS side eye or no response.

Pre-breakdown + if she were actually in the game: I can't really explain why she would help the expendables WITHOUT knowing removing the crystal will indirectly end their lives, i actually havent evaluated that yet but shes friendly to expendables, takes free trade in exchange for shiny objects, and can be seen hanging out with or talking to Sebastian, or passing by in the water/halls. She's capable of killing the player entirely by accident due to her tentacles hanging from the ceiling which she chills in and dying to her makes her scream or apologize (before Sebastian says something snarky) since shes strictly against killing and never willing.

Announcing ur presence helps her know shes in the way. Typical interactive npc shenanigans. Maybe even saving expendables from certain attacks but these are rare interactions in the game. She's overall friendly and if she were real, she'd prolly be a fandom fave (ofc not on Sebastian's level, LETS BE HUMBLE YALL😭) because shes so polite and her tragedy comes near the end where the player isnt even aware of how she became hostile in just a few hours of the run. Her story would hardly happen in game and itd be one of those things a creator would have to mention outside of their game for fans to know abt yk?

Its typical for creators to just drop the craziest lore ever about a character but they're purposefully vague or literally like oh yeah time constraints so we scrapped it lol.

ALRIGHTY CLASS, ANY QUESTIONS? (typing this on my phone was so crazy guys ik its a lot but trust me its DECENT lore </3

[cawcawbeech]

SIX OF CROWS AND KISSING !!

(Welcome to this silly but intricate guide nobody asked for)

Just so everybody knows and is fully aware, I literally never kissed anybody in my whole damn life. I dont much care to try (for now) unless your name is Amita fucking Suman (jkjk, or not), but that doesnt mean I didnt do some very extensive research on the topic just so I can write what are hopefully non-generic scenes where all of my favorite characters make out till the following sunrise without a single other thought plaguing their empty little minds (exception being if the said thought is used to deepen 'the plot').

Before I say much else, I would like to note that THIS is just a very detailed bullet point list on kissing for all of my boys and girls separate of their partners assigned to them in canon or by the fandom. We will get to how it would actually go in different scenarios with different ships a bit later on if I decide it wont be a waste of my time. PS: No, not every kiss / kisser has to be extraordinary or unique or have whatever traits I ended up slapping on these characters here, Im just extra like that. And its not like anybody can stop me. Deal with it and simply enjoy (whatever this may be)!

→→→→→→→→→→→→→→→→→→→→→→→→→→→→→→→→→→→

JESPER LLEWELLYN FAHEY

Jesper has had his fair share of practice in this particular field, we all know it. That is no reason to say that he is a perfect kisser, there are many who have done way more, constantly brag about it, and yet still leave you disappointed. But, this is Jesper we are talking about. Kuwei has said that he is a great kisser too, I choose to trust him on that. That joke he made to cheer up Wylan at Olendaal, the one about kissing Nina / Matthias 'with tongue', it doesnt have to mean anything, but I like to think he is a tongue kind of guy. I also like to think that he is adaptable to any type of person though, he aims to please through-and-through. It saddens me to look deeper, to think about how that may be a result of his low self-esteem, but in moments like these, it makes him happy most of the time, and it is all I could hope for when it comes to my boy.

The first relationship he had been a witness to, the one his mother and father shared before her death, had been a very healthy one. I wouldnt call Colm the perfect father, certainly not after his wife was gone, albeit he is significantly better compared to the hands the rest of our favourite characters have been dealth with, but he was good to Aditi. Most kids, including myself, were the type to be grossed out by PDA, especially when its between their parents, and while thats not in any way a bad thing, we can clearly see that Jesper was not of that type.

Despite his many faults, he was raised fairly well. He knows how to make a comfortable environment, to recognize a clear invitation, what to ask and what not to ask, what is acceptable and what he shouldnt do without a more in-depth discussion. He knows how to create and opportunity where one could deny him if they so wished. I wouldnt say its some overly high bar to jump over, if anything it is the most basic standard any and all should hold themselves to, but I call Jesper 'the consent king' for a reason.

Its said in the book that his mind empties when he kisses the right person, that thinking of methaphors clearly means something is wrong, but hes still pretty descriptive in his POVs if you ask me. Its also very clear that he likes to kiss deep, slow, and involve other sensations throughout which is the part where Id like to include some of my very own hcs (slight temperature / texture play where he drags his rings over skin, hair pulling is a given but I can see him also liking to touch peoples ears a lot, talking in between and whispering during the few subtly initiated pauses, etc). Jespers favourite type of kiss would probably be those he iniciates as soon as he wakes up in the morning. It rains often in Ketterdam, its normal, so he would also probably be one of the rare creatures among the regular Kerch citizens who finds kissing in the rain romantic.

KAZ BREKKER (RIETVELD)

Kaz will have to go through some major healing first, no doubts about that, but Id say he would probably be one of the elite members of the 'Im keeping my eyes open for this' club (until he isnt). I doubt he does much analyzing during, mentally he is on another planet thats probably many lightyears away as he tends to do with a lot of other even remotely intimate things, but theres lots of squinting, eyelid fluttering... Kaz is basically a personafication of that cliche 'when did I close them' quote. In my own experience, I can barely hold eye contact when talking, but I dont really see this as a bad trait. I also dont see it as a trauma response either like some would assume it would be for Kaz, I think its just a him thing. If this man didnt want to kiss somebody, you would not be kissing him, end of.

He likes to focus on teeth, whether by unconsciously (or consciously) biting his partner, having your teeth bump into each other, or licking his own after youre done. Theres lots of shuddering, youll feel him there more than youll hear him, but he is not completely silent either. I dont think he would like beeing cornered, picked up or lifted in any way except on very rare occasions. Just like the pulse thing where he feels for it on the wrist (or neck once he is more comfortable), feeling his weight including the pain of his leg serves to ground him. Perhaps he might also like feeling of you breathing through your nose on his face for the same reasons? He doesnt like leaving things unfinished, even if its just a peck, he will make sure it feels 'complete', I dont know how else to put it. If anybody could overuse the words "Again?", it would be Kaz motherfucking Brekker.

Im in no way saying he will be good, in fact, theres lots of traits here that many wouldnt like, but he tries when he wants to (and again, you would not be kissing this man if he didnt want it), he will learn and he will remember the smallest of details (so that he can ponder over them later). The only thing we hear about Kazs appearance related to his mouth is that there is a scar running through his upper lip. I never got it when people talked about kisses having a taste, but Kaz seems to often call people light-weight, so clearly, he handles his alcohol well, perhaps having developed such a habit to settle down his own supposedly non-existent nerves. It might not be the main reason, we heard about him being on the receiving end of many fights that in certain circumstances and with the ways they are handled lead to similar results, but liquor does leave one dehydrated and with chapped lips.

WYLAN VAN ECK (HENDRIKS)

Unless he is particulary fired up, Wylan likes to start slow and chaste no matter if you are the first, the thousanth person he has kissed or just a person he has kissed a thousand times. Unlike Kaz, he has some experience, sheltered kids know how to have fun in secret (and Im the last person who would ignore that 'lie' about him being kicked out for bedding the tutor, theres some truth to everything), but he is also nowhere near the level of Jesper or Nina or Matthias. We know he likes when his partner feels calm and like they are actually in their body before he goes in for the kill, we saw it with Jesper, but we also see that he isnt the type who needs to ask every time and will just do it when 'the time feels right'. Look out, he just might squeeze into your shirt while youre wearing it and do a makeshift 'surprise attack' from there if he is determined enough for it.

From that, we could say he might have some other habits, including but not limited to the familiar one of guiding his partner through breathing patterns. Maybe sometimes he likes to hold onto your forearms more tightly than necessary (not forcefully though), have your knees touch and bump into one another, straighten his own / your items of clothing, compare hand sizes while making weirdly-intense eye contact, use his thumb to subtly rub at a random tensed muscle, touch foreheads if he is tall enough or rub his face along the side of your neck, anything that would focus your attention to him and the moment... Ironically, as a follow up to the last point and as the kiss drags on, he forgets that he is an actual person who has a weight to them and has to lean back against something with the help of his partner before he falls down and cracks his goddamn skull open.

He likes to leave an effect on whoever he is kissing, but he also likes to 'clean up after himself' as much as possible after its done, which once again serves to bring both of you back down. So yeah, he would probably do something like twirling a stay peace of hair around his finger before neatly tucking it back in place, running that same finger across a brow, down the nose or along the jawline, nudging you playfully with his shoulder, hips or elbows, swaying a bit to slowly return the atmosphere back to relaxed as he secretely links your pinky fingers together. Lips would be his main focus, and he especially likes the soothing effect it has when he is sleepy, but he could also grow to like eyelid, nose, tummy or thigh kisses when it comes to placement.

INEJ GHAFA

Inej has had many men kiss her throughout her life, and unfortunately, theres no need to debate whether she truly enjoyed any of them. Oh how I would love to say that every shitty person is also shit at every other skill they try to master, however, that doesnt have to be the case. The fact that she was a brothel girl doesnt have to mean all of her kisses were bad (to specify, that refers to the technique). That being said, I think she would appreciate the message more than the way its done. It also might result in her not exactly caring about the placement of a kiss, palm, knuckles, hair, cheek, neck, lips, any of them would be equally as intimate to her, platonic or otherwise. Its somewhat similar to what Wylan also likes, but very different too once you look further.

As is with Kaz, you would not be kissing the Inej we know now unless she didnt want you to. I probably should have said this earlier, no, I dont mean that any of the other Crows would enjoy a kiss that was not what they wanted, they wouldnt ignore the signs and will fight the person off if needed, but I hope you understand why Im emphasizing it for these two in particular. I think her kisses would be short, but sweet, a petite little package that can deliver a punch under a right set of conditions, just like she can, the same going for her ship. Physically, we know her lips have an upturn to their shape. As is true with alcohol, salt water has the same drying effect that is only made worse by licking.

One other feature that might make Inejs kisses unique is a possibility of her aquiring more jewellery during her travels. I always imagined that the Suli find piercings to be very meaningful. Perhaps she had some since a very young age, perhaps they were taken from her too during her time at the Menagerie, maybe the holes closed naturally over the long months, maybe she got more whilst working for Kaz, and although it was not put there for such a reason, a lip ring (just as an example) has quite a pleasing effect for either side.

She holds a special appreciation for people who remember their first kiss, or at least remember their first kiss with her, a courtesy she will offer in return as well. It takes special kind of brave to get close (she knows better than most) and never lets the feat of overcoming fear go unappreciated. For some reason, I can see her counting the seconds, not for any reason at all. I wouldnt say its something particulary good nor bad, but Inej doesnt give me the 'let me kiss your words away' signals no matter the situation. The phrases that would fit more would be "We will get through this", "Stay strong, for you", "Lets face it together" or "We shall see each other once more". She seems like the type to keep her affairs secret, but at the end of the day, I also dont think she would mind PDA all that much.

KUWEI YUL-BO

I know the fandom likes to joke that Kuwei is the bad kisser between the two, seeing as to how Jesper was left 'disappointed' even before knowing the truth behind who he was actually kissing... But I dont think that had to do much with the kiss itself. We were told that Jesper liked Kuweis body plenty enough, but even if it were really Wylan (both in shape and spirit), Jesper wasnt in the right space, and Kuweis silence and mannerisms didnt do much to help.

Now, this is a personal headcanon, but one of the habits I think he might pick up in the Little Palace would be scratching his nose or covering his mouth before he goes in for a kiss. Or well, I like to imagine that being his tell among all the snarky comebacks, vicious flirting and sly glances. And seeing as to how playful he is with his powers and how much he grows to use them for mischief and otherwise in KOS, I like to think that his face is always warm to the touch as Kuwei himself is constantly touching it. Random instert, this man unironically likes lemons and you will without a doubt taste quite an assortment of teas while with him.

Some people care about the emotional setting, some like keeping it casual, and some like having that perfect mix of both. Kuwei might acknowledge that in different ways and act accordingly, but I also think he might care more about the physical setting and connect good actions with places rather than specific people or mutual feelings. This man is a certified tease, unless you pull him towards you which is exactly what he wants, he is 100%, absolutely ready to keep a partner on the edge of their seat, kiss the corner of their mouth, or maybe with the lips barely touching. Instead of licking his own lips out of habit or to seduce, he would lick yours. Kuwei being a tease might also be a way for him to set up walls? In a sense that hes reminding both himself and the person hes kissing that this is just a kiss and it doesnt mean anything. And when hes kissed by someone he loves and trusts, hes downright pathetic, super soft and annoyingly sweet about it.

I dont know where else to put it so it will have to be here, but I like to think he chewed on his lips a lot as a child and whilst in captivity, leaving him with barely visible indents once he reached adulthood. When it comes to the type, Id say he could end up enjoying goodnight kisses next to the fireplace or lit by the flame in his own hand more than he would like doing anything in the early morning. Kuwei tends to get frustrated and bored easily so that might lead to certain effects as well, more specifically the speed, angle and desperation. He has hid for long enough and doesnt much care about who sees what, only whether they got a nice view from wherever they were standing at the time.

NINA ZENIK

Nina has practiced CPR from a very young age (I wouldnt call any of those a true kiss by any means, but it will make slightly more sense in just a moment), we see her perform one on Kaz in the books without hesitation, so I doubt her first 'kiss' was particularly enjoyable or wholly consentual or that she even remembers it. Perhaps from that, her kisses would grow to be particulary breathy in the future, although that doesnt mean its some kind of rule or that its not just a result of her personality being put into how she goes about it. We already know temple kisses are her thing among some other stuff, but she also doesnt seem to have a similar kind of bond with any other type that is not at neck level or above. Shes fine with them, but always seems to go to certain spots herself when she has a choice, singing and laughing through all of it. As Matthias tends to say a lot, the chase is a game to her, whether on top or beneath, she still wins.

Her skin is said to be soft, and supposedly so are her lips, plus the girl is a Heartrender and that surely results in many privileges. Surprisingly enough, I wouldnt say she is particularly experienced in the world of romance, even if her talent at sweet-talking might suggest otherwise. Perhaps shes had flings, one or two, maybe even a relationship at some point, but I dont see much more in my visions of her backstory. "Dont you want to play with me?" and "Cant you handle it?" are some of the repeating phrases in her vocabulary, but oh, it only gets worse once she feels well and truly romanced, swept off her feet as one might say, and that takes lots of effort. Its a good thing we know Nina has some high expectations, that way all of us can be her personal wingmen.

If anybody could obtain the famous movie achievement of leaving a string of saliva to connect her lips with her partners for just a few more moments, it would be Nina. Speaking of such things, she may also be the only one for who the 'let me kiss you against this wall so that they dont spot us' scenario might actually work (in theory), or at least give her enough time to incapacitate them during their confusion since she tends to be quite loud appearance wise. Likes being attended to and coddled, and no kiss has a chance without a firm grab or two. Will die if you do a tango dip with her in your arms. She is one of the biggest fans of mistletoes and finds it extremely romantic. Sometimes, when she is invited to watch a play or show, she will turn around and kiss her partner whenever the actors do. "Consider me madly in love. With the kisses, not you. ... But maybe also you if you did it again."

MATTHIAS BENEDIK HELVAR

And finally, we have our romantic-at-heart of the group, Matthias. Now, his and Ninas romance is the most obvious and out-in-the-open throughout the whole duology, and frankly he is the one I had the most trouble with writing, but the difference between seeing their first kiss from Ninas perspective and the one of Matthias is that theirs was his first kiss ever. All of his actions leading up to it, as well as those after, are a promise in some way or another, and Im not only talking about his vow to her. Nothing could have prepared me for when he lifted Nina straight off her feet and held her there as he kissed her, yet it was also the most in-character thing he ever could have done.

Matthias will absolutely, every time, start an hour long conversation on what led him to this moment, if it is the right time, the right place, the right everything... He will continue up until he himself is basically internally shouting at his own mouth to shut itself (he has very low patience despite everything mentioned above) or his partner takes the initiative themselves. The second option is prefered by both parties and a 5-star whine is the expected plus-one to excellent service. He is the type to gulp when you get too close. Will go mad if you can tell when he is holding on by a thread despite his lack of many facial expressions, especially if told something along the lines of "Just lose control, love".

He is particularly sensitive for textures. All humans are to some extent, the lips have more nerve endings in them than fingertips, but Matthias is the one who is fullfilled by it the most and frequently says stuff related to it like "Are you wearing chapstick?" or "I can feel the dip of your scar". Often acknowledges indirect kisses. Matthias has once said that kissing isnt about romance, that it should be proper and only done as a follow up to a conventional Fjerdan courtship, and while lots about him has changed during his canonical relationship with Nina, I think he might still enjoy going through at least some of these with somebody who might appreciate his efforts. Matthias is still highly religious even if he is now seeing the world from another perspective and there are some cultural things that for him go deeper than just tradition. In a very specific headcanon of mine, he has grown up fantasizing about having to lift up your chin to do it, and so now he does so even with taller partners who can reach his mouth just fine.

He would 100% take the 'Will you love me if I was a worm' jokes way too seriously. "How am I supposed to handle a worm? I could hold a butterfly, maybe kiss you if you were a wolf (but thats after a very extensive inspection of your molars)". Kisses the back of your neck after putting on a necklace. Pretends that lipstick stains dont turn him on to the highest setting.

→→→→→→→→→→→→→→→→→→→→→→→→→→→→→→→→→→→

[the-s1lly-corner]

Alrighty, may I please request something sad? If it's okay with you?

May request Pomni & Ragatha?

Scenario: One day a handful of memories from their past life resurface. They remember their s/o back home, and not only that, they also remember that they have a child as well.

Pomni and Ragatha remembering they have a kid + S/O

OOOOO this ones an interesting one !

So sorry I've been slowing down on answering asks, guys <\3 I've been kind of. Bkuuuuuuuuugh

Fighting these allergies, as well as my silly fatigue as well as the seasonal depression kicking in TToTT

I prommy I'm not purposefully ignoring you guys !

Written in mobile

POMNI:

Doing pomni first since I have a few ideas for her. Personally i cant see her having kids, or at least, I cant see her having kids through traditional means. Actually, I got struck with the idea of "what if she had to adopt a family member thanks to a tragedy"

But they're still her kid, in her eyes

So uh

Theres that idea

Imagine how horrible she would feel, believing the child feels theyve been left behind once again

I think that would fuel pomnis attempts to try to escape the digital world. I mean she was already looking in every book and cranny and trying to find clues... but this drives her to a near obsession. Maybe even to her own undoing, if you want it to be extra angsty

RAGATHA:

For ragatha I'm a little stumped. Not because I dont have any ideas, but because I dont have any unique ideas for her. Because I think she would react similarly to pomni... but perhaps, ragatha manages to keep a decent hold of her wits? She's been here for a while, and has probably had more than enough time to search the place top to bottom. No, if anything takes her down it's her trying to force herself to remember more. She only remembers enough to know that she she has a family of her own in the real world, as well as a partner... makes her more determined to leave, as opposed to her in the pilot where she, like the others, accepted her fate

Bonus for the self shippers and who love angst:

Imagine you're not their real world partner, but you guys were already together before either of them remembered. The inner turmoil. Do they stay with you? Do they leave you? Neither seem like good options... how you folk wanna go about this is up to you but just. The idea, the hurt, the drama

[alwysgood]

I feel so heavy right now.

And I woke up from a dream where all my insecurities played out.

The dream started off with Lorenzo,

and I watched as he spent time with his family and had fun.

I watched and cried and woke up feeling empty, less than, angry, and hurt.

I fell back asleep and I dreamt of Mayhem, and watching him and his smile and seeing him, more tattoos, a new motorcycle- he looked happier, and it made me feel bad about myself and left out.

I took a chance on the relationship with Lorenzo even when I knew better, and now I just feel like I was right all along, he's just going to run back to his ex.

This is a sore subject for me because it makes me feel like Im not good enough.

My mind is playing tricks on me and I feel sad and angry and upset and hurt.

But the truth is I dont know everything.

Though I can assume what is happening, I do not know that for the truth.

And even if it is, who cares? That is not a loss.

Lorenzo cheated on me with MULTIPLE women.

Lorenzo is a liar.

He is manipulative.

He is mean.

He is unkind.

He is selfish.

And his heart is ugly.

IF Lorenzo went back to Courtnie, that isn't my loss.

Its his.

I was kind.

I was supportive.

I was nice.

I was selfless.

I was all good things.

I got a great new job,

I pay all of my own bills,

I have my own house,

I am focusing on God,

and I am constantly trying to be better-

For myself, my future husband, and my family.

I AM BEAUTIFUL INSIDE AND OUT.

And I know I am worthy.

The same applied to Mayhem.

I do not know what is happening in his life, but what I do know is that he is truly unhappy.

He may look good, or give the illusion he is doing well, but I know him, and I know as his birthday is approaching, he is struggling.

What I feel is not a fact.

I do not know what I dont know,

anyone can portray happiness on social media,

but I know that both of these boys were never truly happy,

And they never will be because they do not want to do the work to be.

Both Mayhem and Lorenzo may be attractive, but that is all they have to offer.

My worth is eternal, and what I bring to the table is irreplacable.

What are the facts?

The facts are I made the right choices by choosing my self respect over a man.

The fact is Mayhem and Lorenzo destroyed the relationship.

The fact is their poor choices DO NOT reflect my value or worth, it just shows how they feel about themselves.

These boys are insecure.

Thes boys are jealous.

These boys will repeat what they do not repair as we have seen with Mayhem.

And even hen I thought Mayhem was doing well, God avenged me, and he will continue to do so as needed with Mayhem AND now Lorenzo too.

I am beautiful outside, and in my heart as well.

My childlike humor and love of the little things makes me fun and quirky.

My loving heart to help others and be kind is unique, and not everyone has that in this cruel world.

I work hard for what I have thanks to God.

My home is spooky and warm and awesome.

I am blessed and will continue to be.

God, I am struggling, but I ask that you help me when I am sad.

Thank you for loving me when I dont love myself, and I pray that I do what you need to receive more blessings.

Thank you God.

[syrips]

religion ramble below, not trauma/negative stuff, just a random reflection on something i noticed, with a mix of a dnd thing i love

kinda long. tl;dr at the bottom

so, i dont consider myself religious but i consider myself spiritual, i like to read religious, philosophical, sentimental texts/art. i like to enjoy the potential meaning, lesson, and purpose behind them; and, regardless of what i do/dont believe, it makes me feel a personal, human connection with people, in the past, present, and future, that will read/see the same things i did. and, just maybe, they will connect or experience it in a similar way that i did. but, even if they didnt, especially if they didnt, it just reminds us of how unique each of us are

but anyways, the above was just for context. the main thing i wanted to talk about was related to dnd, the deity ilmater. i know fictional deities are based/similar to religious figures irl, (so im not viewing ilmater as a 'real' religious figure,) but there's something that deeply connects me spiritually to the entire concept of ilmater and the fictional religion.

the act of wanting to take away people's burdens, the act of wanting to ease their pain and suffering, even at the point of lying to them to ease their pain. even at the point of sacrificing yourself for the sake of others, no matter how evil, cruel, wicked, irredeemable they are. if anything, it is especially because of how evil, cruel, wicked they are, that you wish to take away their pain. to ease their pain, no matter how cruel they are. no matter how intentional their evil deeds are. and yet, i cant help but be in awe of that level of spirituality. (i know ilmater has limits, but i think i would seek peace for everyone, even if it is a pipe dream.) it soothes my irl heart and, even if i were to be hurt from it, it feels nice to be at such a level of peace and kindness.

obviously though, the irl world is too complex for such a 'simple' plan of easing everyone's suffering instantly like that. but still, it's nice to dream, or try, with the things that i could control. maybe i cant help someone undo something toxic, but i could help take an animal/insect out of my home and place them back in their own home. i could clean up litter without minding how or why the previous people left it there. i could thank the cashier and wish them a nice day. i could smile at everyone, greet everyone, treat them kind. not because of who they may potentially be, but because of who i know i am

but, i dont know, back to the dnd thing. im surprised at how 'small' / 'mortal' ilmater seems to be seen compared to other deities (in the fictional world). and yet, it feels even more niche and personal to me because of that. ilmater's entire concept (as well as their stereotyped followers) feel like they are the 'doormat', the 'pushover', the 'weak', the 'pathetic', the 'ignorant', the 'naive'. etc. but what's wrong with being the pathetic, weak, naive? what's wrong with seeing the best in people, even if - especially if - they don't even see that in themselves? what's wrong with having rose colored glasses, and tending to them as if they were the roses i see them as? what if i'm okay with getting pricked by their intentional thorns, with the chance to help them just to grow a little bit?

obviously, for my own health and the health of others though, i cant do that safely irl. i can't let a dangerous person roam freely in anothers' safe place. but, i can wish and direct them to how they can take accountability for themselves, to wish them to rehabilitate safely into society. to wish for them to smile, laugh, and feel peace, by doing actions that harm no one, not even consequently themselves. to love them from afar, not excusing their behaviors, but bringing awareness to their actions, to help them become better people, if even, by just a little

ok i rambled far enough to not remember the point of this post, goodbye hehe

tl,dr - gonna self insert SO hard in my ilmater PCs

[anonymous-eggys-main]

i love tumblr BECAUSE i get to curate my own feed and navigate it my own way. i dont care if newcomers complain about it. because if it isnt their style they can go back to instagram and all those other hellsites that curate feeds for them. I love tumblr because i get to choose what i see and surround myself with.

yeah it sucks having to curate at first. but its not too hard to get the hang of. its easy to go to a hastag of something you enjoy and click follow tag. and then from there you follow blogs related to that content and so on.

this style of self curation is WHAT MAKES TUMBLR UNIQUE

don't start shoving random stuff in my face, tumblr. ive worked hard to make my bubble of safety. I dont want to get punched around by transphobic shit like i am on every other social media platform. why do you think i use this goddamn site. because at least i dont have to worry about getting that thrown in my face all the time. i get to choose to not see it here and be safe for a moment before having to face the outside world.

a bad experience with auto curation does not ONLY lie with "the product" it lies with tumblr's inability to properly handle fascists, terfs, and racists on this site, and then your choice to look into auto curation before trying to fix that issue. dont attempt to come at me with freedom of speech because freedom of speech does not mean freedom from consequence. you all know this very well because ive seen you ban and deactivate several queer blogs before who have done barely anything compared to those people.

overall: if you're gonna make an auto curation you need to AT LEAST add an option to turn it off for older users who are happy with the feed theyve curated and arent interested in seeing new things unless they choose to search for it. i personally dont want to see "new things" because those "new things" have a high risk of just being hate thats gonna drive me away.

Tumblr’s Core Product Strategy

Here at Tumblr, we’ve been working hard on reorganizing how we work in a bid to gain more users. A larger user base means a more sustainable company, and means we get to stick around and do this thing with you all a bit longer. What follows is the strategy we're using to accomplish the goal of user growth. The @labs group has published a bit already, but this is bigger. We’re publishing it publicly for the first time, in an effort to work more transparently with all of you in the Tumblr community. This strategy provides guidance amid limited resources, allowing our teams to focus on specific key areas to ensure Tumblr’s future.

The Diagnosis

In order for Tumblr to grow, we need to fix the core experience that makes Tumblr a useful place for users. The underlying problem is that Tumblr is not easy to use. Historically, we have expected users to curate their feeds and lean into curating their experience. But this expectation introduces friction to the user experience and only serves a small portion of our audience. 

Tumblr’s competitive advantage lies in its unique content and vibrant communities. As the forerunner of internet culture, Tumblr encompasses a wide range of interests, such as entertainment, art, gaming, fandom, fashion, and music. People come to Tumblr to immerse themselves in this culture, making it essential for us to ensure a seamless connection between people and content. 

To guarantee Tumblr’s continued success, we’ve got to prioritize fostering that seamless connection between people and content. This involves attracting and retaining new users and creators, nurturing their growth, and encouraging frequent engagement with the platform.

Our Guiding Principles

To enhance Tumblr’s usability, we must address these core guiding principles.

Expand the ways new users can discover and sign up for Tumblr.

Provide high-quality content with every app launch.

Facilitate easier user participation in conversations.

Retain and grow our creator base.

Create patterns that encourage users to keep returning to Tumblr.

Improve the platform’s performance, stability, and quality.

Below is a deep dive into each of these principles.

Principle 1: Expand the ways new users can discover and sign up for Tumblr.

Tumblr has a “top of the funnel” issue in converting non-users into engaged logged-in users. We also have not invested in industry standard SEO practices to ensure a robust top of the funnel. The referral traffic that we do get from external sources is dispersed across different pages with inconsistent user experiences, which results in a missed opportunity to convert these users into regular Tumblr users. For example, users from search engines often land on pages within the blog network and blog view—where there isn’t much of a reason to sign up. 

We need to experiment with logged-out tumblr.com to ensure we are capturing the highest potential conversion rate for visitors into sign-ups and log-ins. We might want to explore showing the potential future user the full breadth of content that Tumblr has to offer on our logged-out pages. We want people to be able to easily understand the potential behind Tumblr without having to navigate multiple tabs and pages to figure it out. Our current logged-out explore page does very little to help users understand “what is Tumblr.” which is a missed opportunity to get people excited about joining the site.

Actions & Next Steps

Improving Tumblr’s search engine optimization (SEO) practices to be in line with industry standards.

Experiment with logged out tumblr.com to achieve the highest conversion rate for sign-ups and log-ins, explore ways for visitors to “get” Tumblr and entice them to sign up.

Principle 2: Provide high-quality content with every app launch.

We need to ensure the highest quality user experience by presenting fresh and relevant content tailored to the user’s diverse interests during each session. If the user has a bad content experience, the fault lies with the product.

The default position should always be that the user does not know how to navigate the application. Additionally, we need to ensure that when people search for content related to their interests, it is easily accessible without any confusing limitations or unexpected roadblocks in their journey.

Being a 15-year-old brand is tough because the brand carries the baggage of a person’s preconceived impressions of Tumblr. On average, a user only sees 25 posts per session, so the first 25 posts have to convey the value of Tumblr: it is a vibrant community with lots of untapped potential. We never want to leave the user believing that Tumblr is a place that is stale and not relevant. 

Actions & Next Steps

Deliver great content each time the app is opened.

Make it easier for users to understand where the vibrant communities on Tumblr are. 

Improve our algorithmic ranking capabilities across all feeds. 

Principle 3: Facilitate easier user participation in conversations.

Part of Tumblr’s charm lies in its capacity to showcase the evolution of conversations and the clever remarks found within reblog chains and replies. Engaging in these discussions should be enjoyable and effortless.

Unfortunately, the current way that conversations work on Tumblr across replies and reblogs is confusing for new users. The limitations around engaging with individual reblogs, replies only applying to the original post, and the inability to easily follow threaded conversations make it difficult for users to join the conversation.

Actions & Next Steps

Address the confusion within replies and reblogs.

Improve the conversational posting features around replies and reblogs. 

Allow engagements on individual replies and reblogs.

Make it easier for users to follow the various conversation paths within a reblog thread. 

Remove clutter in the conversation by collapsing reblog threads. 

Explore the feasibility of removing duplicate reblogs within a user’s Following feed. 

Principle 4: Retain and grow our creator base.

Creators are essential to the Tumblr community. However, we haven’t always had a consistent and coordinated effort around retaining, nurturing, and growing our creator base.  

Being a new creator on Tumblr can be intimidating, with a high likelihood of leaving or disappointment upon sharing creations without receiving engagement or feedback. We need to ensure that we have the expected creator tools and foster the rewarding feedback loops that keep creators around and enable them to thrive.

The lack of feedback stems from the outdated decision to only show content from followed blogs on the main dashboard feed (“Following”), perpetuating a cycle where popular blogs continue to gain more visibility at the expense of helping new creators. To address this, we need to prioritize supporting and nurturing the growth of new creators on the platform.

It is also imperative that creators, like everyone on Tumblr, feel safe and in control of their experience. Whether it be an ask from the community or engagement on a post, being successful on Tumblr should never feel like a punishing experience.

Actions & Next Steps

Get creators’ new content in front of people who are interested in it. 

Improve the feedback loop for creators, incentivizing them to continue posting.

Build mechanisms to protect creators from being spammed by notifications when they go viral.

Expand ways to co-create content, such as by adding the capability to embed Tumblr links in posts.

Principle 5: Create patterns that encourage users to keep returning to Tumblr.

Push notifications and emails are essential tools to increase user engagement, improve user retention, and facilitate content discovery. Our strategy of reaching out to you, the user, should be well-coordinated across product, commercial, and marketing teams.

Our messaging strategy needs to be personalized and adapt to a user’s shifting interests. Our messages should keep users in the know on the latest activity in their community, as well as keeping Tumblr top of mind as the place to go for witty takes and remixes of the latest shows and real-life events.  

Most importantly, our messages should be thoughtful and should never come across as spammy.  

Actions & Next Steps

Conduct an audit of our messaging strategy.

Address the issue of notifications getting too noisy; throttle, collapse or mute notifications where necessary.  

Identify opportunities for personalization within our email messages. 

Test what the right daily push notification limit is. 

Send emails when a user has push notifications switched off.

Principle 6: Performance, stability and quality.

The stability and performance of our mobile apps have declined. There is a large backlog of production issues, with more bugs created than resolved over the last 300 days. If this continues, roughly one new unresolved production issue will be created every two days. Apps and backend systems that work well and don't crash are the foundation of a great Tumblr experience. Improving performance, stability, and quality will help us achieve sustainable operations for Tumblr.

Improve performance and stability: deliver crash-free, responsive, and fast-loading apps on Android, iOS, and web.

Improve quality: deliver the highest quality Tumblr experience to our users. 

Move faster: provide APIs and services to unblock core product initiatives and launch new features coming out of Labs.

Conclusion

Our mission has always been to empower the world’s creators. We are wholly committed to ensuring Tumblr evolves in a way that supports our current users while improving areas that attract new creators, artists, and users. You deserve a digital home that works for you. You deserve the best tools and features to connect with your communities on a platform that prioritizes the easy discoverability of high-quality content. This is an invigorating time for Tumblr, and we couldn’t be more excited about our current strategy.

[fluffyseal322]

If my life will co-exist with daddy's, how do i envision my near future?

He tells me "come back to him when i am financially stable." he's very right, how can he be with someone who cant carry their own weight. Communication and finances are 2 critical things of life that i have the most trouble times with. I'm too impulsive in these areas which cause conflict. I havnt been able to write vulnerably recently but even if he says he'll keep me after i manage these two, i also want this for myself. i want to become better for myself. i wont do this for him, i will do this for myself. i view this as a good, trusted friend telling me about an area i struggle in.

First, get a job. Second, get a new car with a preferred wrap. Third, save for apartment. By the end of next year, THE LATEST, is when i will finally get that apartment ive been hoping for for about half a year. The Links. I love the cleanliness, the smarthome aspect, the while bright lights, the stainless steel. Its so minamalistic in a semi-modern way. it feels so clean and spacious. and not to mention, the bathrooms are beautiful. I'd love to have a little garden as well <3

The thing is, will i be able to study trade and pursue my dream of becoming a diver all while working to keep my apartment? I dont mind if i cant persue my dreams when I have daddy... i did say i could go one of two paths and the outcomes will be enough for me.

I love that he's very smart and he overthinks about everything, his curiosity to know about everything, i trust his judgement, and his protectiveness, i love that he's fairly self away more than most men i know of, although, i feel that he's missing a few significant pieces of himself that i wish he would work on himself too.

but..

about how our future will turn out, i am not sure. ive never given it much thought. if we were to have children, i dont want to be in an apartment. i want to live in a structured and safe home. i want the father to know that i want to feel like things are mine just as much as it is his. parenting is scary, i just want my kids to know that i am their home, i am their safe space if they ever need. i do not want the father taking away the one thing i want for my kids. my children will be taught to follow god and hold onto their childlike interest and whimsy. i don't want them to fear shame like i fear shame now. i want the entire family to seek god or at least try. i know it can be harder for children, i just want them to be okay because the world is big and scary. i feel like big and scary is so cliche and such an understatement. i don't want home to feel like its a space to fight for peace. It can be chaotic in its own way but it will be nothing like how it is outside of the safe-space. I want them to always have an identity and its okay for change to happen. That is also something i must work on myself, i know this.

I want the father to know that he doesn't need to take all the burden alone, i don't want this to be a habit. Eventually, he needs to know that we are on the same team, and that he doesnt have to believe every thought that goes on in his head. I am here, i am real, i am unique in many ways. Just because you have your views on body language will sometime not always mean exactly what you think. You cant compare a feeling to intentions. You cant mind read. You can only ask questions and observe.

on another note, i just remembered i gave a genuine apology to him because i hurt him. he never gave me one back. yk, my eye rolling wasnt out of disrespect... it was out of submission in anger. im still hurt but i put my own hurt aside to apologize and it just made things harder when he never recognized my own.

i got distracted.....

[eyesmadeofpearls]

feeling so drained lately. i try to find anything to do with britonic neolithic culture because culture has always been extremely important to me, having something that connects me and others while also making me feel special would be wonderful. humans are a social species, we also love self expression and creativity.

but unfortunately , no matter how long i spend scavenging the internet to its deepest nooks and crannies, i can only find so little about my people and existence. as it turns out years of colonization by the romans, the barbarians, the angles and saxons, the danes, the norwegians, the jutes, and frisians plus the more modern flemings, “egyptians”/roma, huguenots, indians, irish, africans, germans, russian jewish peoples, poles, west Indians, etc., etc. (while these were not colonization's in the larger sense, they still represented significant cultural as well as genetic influxes - some 2.5 million immigrants over 150 years up until WW2) has caused a significant loss of information about us. all which were buried, ruined, bombed, destroyed, you name it.

this has killed me every waking moment, it just kills me knowing there is literally nothing left besides a couple pieces of jewelry, some pottery, ruined houses, and tools made of precious green mixed stone. the only information on us have been left by the invaders and i refuse to indulge in their stereotypes and ignorance. hell, even the tribe names we didn’t choose. nobody knows what we actually called ourselves.

its even crueler knowing my descendants culture was taken up by the germanics, more specifically the frankish people. parts of “france” were once theirs until the colonization. now they mock them and speak the dying britonic language and wear their clothes. they dress like them and they talk like them knowing they couldn’t dress in their own clothes and they couldn’t speak their own language.

this mix, this cesspool of mutt that has become me, is eating me inside and out. i want to belong, i want to know; what did they eat? what songs did they sing? how did they dress? were they happy and can i be apart of that? everyday i see the natives of north america, the native polynesians, the natives of south america, the africans, all enjoying themselves and i feel nauseatingly jealous. im tired of wanting.

i wonder if the monster that the colonizers created wasn’t violent on purpose and just wanted to be apart of that joy like me? i like to imagine it looked like the messed up gem fusions from Steven universe. or maybe a stuffed animal sewn together from others. something that makes you uncomfortable to look at and a little sad. maybe it wanted to experience that community, so it stole to fill the hole made in a body too big for even itself? i think deep down we know that we crave attention, we are a lot like the meerkat - a social group of critters. we also like to feel special, we want something to have just for us. culture is like an inside joke; not everyone understands or gets it and thats what it means to be special. there are words others don’t understand, practices only you and a tight knit group of people know how to do, a uniqueness you feel in your heart, and customs only you can know.

i want to be special too, we were to be special. if i dont know what we did or who we were, i lose that connection, that special thing. and since its so hard to find anything, im literally going insane. i doubt if i brought it back anyone would even care enough to join in. its not like i can just create one without accidentally copying an entire pre existing thing. i also cant create something and have the only person who knows it be me. and i cant create it alone because it doesn’t happen that way. i cant just obtain it like an object as it needs to happen gradually and have an importance to me. i need to earn it in a way i guess.

[communistkenobi]

I think that one thing that makes the MCU different from past franchises like SW is how much it's relying on its conglomerate of Marvel source materials across various mediums. The MCU does not need to establish Peter Parker's Spider-Man or the values that went into creating the character and his canon (as in his comics/cartoons/shows as a whole, not in-universe character continuity) bc its target audience already has a rough concept of the character due to prior exposure to Spider-Man canon/media in pop culture—which means there's just enough of a foundation for the MCU Spider-Man to be widely recognizable as Spider-Man without portraying what makes Peter Parker Peter Parker (poor financial situation from childhood to adulthood, low self-esteem, learning up to stand up to his bullies and his boss, survivor's guilt, etc.) on-screen. But it's like the franchise is then relying primarily on the audience's concept of the character of Spider-Man from exposure to other (including both subjectively and objectively better) versions in other mediums to establish their iteration of the charracter and by extension those films. And that's how adaptations work, of course, but I think the MCU as a whole fails to capitalize on the benefits of adapting into another medium, so all that's left for the critical audience are elements like the military propaganda, the racism and whitewashing, the imperialism apologism, and so on that are consequences of franchising decisions rather than creative decisions.

Like yeah, franchises and fandom aren't new and are direct results of capitalism and mass-media consumption, but the MCU feels like its own special blend within the Marvel franchise (as a whole) in how much it relies on this idea of The Brand and being just recognizable enough that it doesn't (and won't) go further than surface level. It's insular to a degree that I don't know what I can compare it to. I think SW has started to shift toward this template(????) with the D+ shows (well really since Solo), but I don't know how to explain where this shift occurred or where it falls between MCU and traditional franchise media????? Even the DCEU differs enough despite still imo having the mass-produced/soulless/lacking in substance feel. It's like you said, we don't have any specific term that quite defines this yet, and not to be a snob but I really really REALLY hate that I added a yet there even though I know it's only a matter of time.

(Sorry for the rambling, I just really like your analyses, especially where capitalism and fascism intersect even tho I didn't really bring those points up bc I'm not sure what I could contribute in that area lol)

sorry for the late reply i know this was like two days ago now lol

anyway i think my framing of the mcu as uniquely bad is incorrect in the sense of what you said, which is that fandoms and mass media are not new. mcu is just a good shorthand to refer to mass media because its the most glaring and obnoxious example of it.

i also don't want to be ahistorical about it because the first marvel movies weren't like the recent ones, they felt more real in the sense that there was more to them than simple reference. @sashacore made a good point about not categorising art into low/high categories because you can quickly get into reactionary territory. which i don't want to do, obviously, but i'm coming up short on language that describes what im trying to articulate. and i dont think im being reactionary when i say the mcu is devoid of meaning

agh idk i guess i just have a motivated desire to call the mcu uniquely bad in a way. like when scorsese said that the mcu isn't art i want to agree with him. like it literally just feels like an infomercial for capital and empire. if you wanted to point to something as the logical endpoint to art produced with the sole goal of capital accumulation i would point to the mcu. but it's not unique in that sense. the difference is of degree, not kind

[littlemessyjessi]

Chapter Two: "Kaleidoscope of Chaos": A Yandere Kim Taehyung Story

🖤💜🖤

Plus size female, yandere.

🖤 💙🖤

Warning: does contain yandere themes and therefore some sensitive content. Also of you are under 18 please leave as this will contain some mature themes. Obviously, I dont BTS nor do I think Taehyung would exhibit this type of behavior. It's purely a work of fiction. I hope you enjoy and come along for the journey.

🖤💚🖤

Also, this will contain a mixture of written text as well as edits, fake social media and fake texts. I personally enjoy them and I think they add another layer to my content so I like to include them.

🖤💜🖤

This story and all kpop content can be found by accessing the Navi link in my bio. It will be on masterlist 2.0. From there you just access the BTS Masterpost and it's fairly self explanatory from there.

🖤💚🖤💙🖤💜🖤

Jimin narrowed his eyes at Taehyung.

For the past two weeks, every time he saw him.. he seemed glued to his phone.

At first, he just wrote it off as him being busy or having a new interest.

But now he was smiling at the device every chance he got.

And Jimin had had enough.

"Alright, come on. Spill the tea." He said.

"Hmm?"

"Who are you talking to?"

Taehyung looked up in surprise, "... What?"

"You've been attached to that phone for weeks and we've been here like an hour already and we've barely spoken to each other. " Jimin pointed out.

Taehyung had the decency to look sheepish and put the phone away.

"Sorry, Jiminie."

"You don't have to be sorry. I'm just curious. I've noticed you've been very preoccupied lately. " Jimin said.

"I've just been texting with someone is all."

"Oh?" Jimin asked, eyes lighting up.

"Yeah. She's really amazing actually. "

"Taehyungie has a girlfriend?!"

"No, no. Just talking. Just friends." Tae said but he couldn't stop smiling.

"Hmmm." Jimin said. "I dont know. Just friends dont usually have that look on their face when they talk about each other. "

Tae bit his lip, "Ok so maybe it's a little more than that."

Jimin gasped, "Tell me everything! How'd you meet?"

"Well, see that's the thing. We haven't actually met."

"Come again?"

Tae sighed, "Alright, so actually what happened is she accidentally text me. Wrong number. She was trying to text her friend showing off this cute little pie beret she got. But then we kept talking because she's interesting and unique. And I asked if I could call her one night and I was kinda hooked after that. We, uh, kinda text every day since then. "

"Of course you would meet someone through a wrong number. Of course. Because life is fair. All I get are telemarketers." Jimin laughed. "So is she cute?"

"Well, I've never actually seen her come to think of it. We just text and I call her every night." He said. "She does have a cute duck though. And nice legs."

Jimin lifted an eyebrow, "Duck? Is that code for something? Am I old enough that I no longer know the lingo? Where's Jungkook when you need him?"

"No, no. An actual duck. Her pet. His name is Poseidon. Look. " Tae laughed and pulled one of the many pictures she has sent him of the white duck.

"Aww. Cute!" Jimin said, easily won over by literally any animal.

"She has full on arguments with him. It's hilarious. She takes him to the drive through for ice water and apparently he sits on her face if she sleeps on her back. " he said with a level of adoration Jimin never thought possible for someone talking about a duck.

"And you've got no idea what she looks like?" Jimin asked. "I mean, looks aren't everything but , come on, Tae. What if you spend the time catching feelings and you're not attracted to her?"

"I don't care what she looks like." He snapped. "It's not gonna matter. She'll be perfect. She is perfect. "

Jimin chuckled, "You have got it so bad."

Taehyung say anything but he smiled anyway.

Eventually Jimin got tired of teasing him about the lovesick look on his face and returned to his own devices.

Tae didnt miss the opportunity to sneak back on his phone.

His heart was hammering in his chest.

He knew that this was a topic that he should probably stay away from.

At least for now.

He was treading dangerous waters... but he was curious.

Fuck, fuck, fuck. 

What was he supposed to do now? 

How did he respond? 

He decided to just play it safe and not show his face yet. 

His heart was pounding in his chest. 

Both from her flirting and from the very idea of meeting her. 

What if she didn’t like him? 

What if she was mad because he was him? 

What if she was freaked out and blocked him? 

It freaked him out a little to think about but now that he’d had a taste of what it was like to communicate with someone who he could 100% be himself with... he wasn’t sure he could go back. 

“No, no, she wouldn’t do that.” he told himself.  “Cause I get her.  Like she gets me. We’ll meet and she’ll understand why I didn’t just out right say who I was and she’ll feel the same connection and it’ll be fine.” 

“Tae?” 

He looked over to see Jimin giving him a strange look. 

“What? Huh?” he asked. 

“Who are you talking to?” Jimin asked. 

“Oh, uh, just myself.  It’s nothing.” he said.  “I’m just rambling, I guess. Don’t worry Jiminie.” 

But Jimin was right to worry. 

Because those thoughts were only the beginning...

💚

Hey loves! Thanks for checking out my work! For all kpop content check Masterlist 2.0 in my navi! Link in bio! Love, K 💋

@thickemadame @blackirisposts @therealmrshale  @thegreatirene @angelus320  @disneymarina @sullybot  @alisoncdariel @amethyst09  @kalliravenne  @gruffle1 @leah-halliwell92   @queenlexusloverofbts​ @owenniasstars  @adventuresofnight  @halobaby @tacobacoyeet​ @glassesandthunderthighs​  @poopypantsmcgee666-blog​ @teenagesublimefan​ @lyn-g​ @milkshakelol​ @sunnysidesblog​ @speedyhandsbonkpalace​ @mwitsmejk​ @pinkcherrybombs​ @abc-abc1234-a​

[wingsofwater]

just thought of the most wild and possibly deranged zomb-clearsight au after watching a [1] skellies animation meme

before Darkstalker was banished to Literally gay baby jail, at some point after he tried the whole thing with making Fierceteeth into Clearsight bc hes his own species of Fucked up and Deranged™️, he realized “hey wait a minute even if i dont have them i could just summon her bones to me so i can revive her”

[cut to the entire continent of pantala screaming because the bones of their literal goddess has vanished with no knowledge of how] anyways this isn’t about them-

he did manage to somewhat revive her,, uh. depending on your definition of revive that is

basically animus magic boundaries n stuff like that he wasn’t able to bring her back fully and was only able to basically enchant her bones to be living. at this point he was kinda desperate [and maybe a little bit extremely dumb] so his enchantment went a little something like “enchant her to by loyal and to not question my actions” or something like that [see : own species of Fucked up and Deranged™️] and, because it was her bones and not actually her she ended up exactly like that. loyal and unquestioning. a bit like a dog lets say that. that analogy will be important later

and when i say “later” i mean literally right now Cut to Peacemaker approx. a few years later after he developed some cognitive state. just a little bit, he starts to learn a bit about his past self. not enough to realize who he once was, just a few tidbits either his mother or Moon might’ve let slip when they didn’t realize he was listening. He doesn’t act directly on this knowledge- doesn’t try hunting down where he might be hiding or trying to pry out more information- but one day when he goes to Jade Mountain Academy for his first day of school, he finds something waiting for him at the peak.

or at least, someone

thats right Clearsight’s skeleton caught wind of his aura like, well, a dog. All animuses have their own unique soul aura thats tied to the things they enchant. This lets other animuses figure out who enchanted what, and in some cases, can help lead living enchantments back to their creators.

which is exactly what Darkstalker did before he was turned into Peacemaker. And because despite how his physical and mental appearance changed- spiritually, he did not. even if it was weakened to a normal dragon soul so he’s no longer able to cast magic, it still has the same aura that he used to. And as soon as he arrived at Jade mountain Clearbones over here was able to track him down just by the ‘smell’ of his soul.

“ok but wtaf was she doing there and why did no one find her tho” Great question! im gonna halfass it and pretend i knew all the time

Clearbones [yes im calling her that im tired of calling her “Clearsight’s skeleton”] originally tracked down Darkstalkers soul to the peak of JMA when he didn’t come after a few days, But, after not finding anyone there, she kinda just... laid down and waited for someone to come by again. no one noticed her because everyone mistook her for either a weird rock formation, left over ice from the attack, or just a long-dead moss covered body no one wanted to disturb [i mean yeah]. kinda sad if you forget shes the result of a crazed maniac going more insane and reanimating his 2000 year old girlfriends skeleton in an act of selfishness but. yknow. ‘‘)

anyways back to Gay Baby the Jail. Peacemaker originally also thought she was just some old bones that been haven’t moved. until they started moving. Ofc he was scared at first, until he realized she wasn’t some old violent trap set by the malevolent Darkstalker to attack unsuspecting dragonets [again, hes heard of Darkstalker and what he did, but he doesnt know where he went.], but instead just a strange, weirdly clingy reanimated skeleton of a dragon long gone.

who just wont.

stop.

following him.

at first he was scared, a bit anxious that at some point the skeleton was gonna remember its supposed purpose and attack him when no one is watching [hes always been interested in animus magic, and has heard of the cursed Orca statue. this doesnt help at all]. but at some point it just kinda gets- annoying.

he tries to get rid of her every way he can think of. hiding her in a cave, locking her in a room, trying to abandon her whenever shes in whatever dormant state is a skeletons version of “sleeping”, but it never works, she always manages to find a way out and back to him. he knew he needed to hide her at first, of course, it would not be a good impression on the other students to have this old, mossy skeleton following you around the place. But he really didnt have a whole lot of choices now did he?

At some point it just became too much for him, and so being the little dragonet who didnt know what to do, he went to his mom for help.

who, understandably, was terrified to learn that the old reanimated girlfriend of her old-son-turned-new-baby was not back in the ground where everyone expected her to be and was, in-fact, following around her new son who shouldn’t have had any traces of her old son left in him

small problem but we’ll work on that.

and by work on that i mean he eventually learns to live with Clearbone’s perpetual state of Existing and does manage to get her to learn that he needs to be left alone when he goes to school, and leaves her in his moms care- and eventually Moon when she finds out after kinda just. walking in on them talking

of course, its not easy trying to hide the weirdly clingy reanimated bones of your past selfs girlfriend without anyone finding out, but then again,

its just Skeletons in the Closet.

[a-dragons-journal]

i dont "kin for fun" but through tiktok i found out about the whole kin for fun vs actual otherkin... situation ig? im having a really hard time taking it seriously... maybe im just burnt out and bitter from dealing with the worlds current events, and maybe its because on tiktok the only people i saw mad about it were white people, but you're the most reasonable person ive seen talking about it (a lot of other posts have this odd tone that 12 year olds on tiktok saying kin is the worlds greatest opression and it weirds me out) so ig my question is just... why exactly does this matter? why does it matter enough to post about and care about and not just ignore? /gen

Hey! I don’t blame you for being a bit weirded out by it, we’re a weird subculture and we’re well aware of it! xD I appreciate you taking the time to actually look into it past your first knee-jerk reaction, especially considering burnout and the state of things.

I’m not totally sure if you’re asking why otherkinity matters or why the “kin for fun” being wrong matters, so I’ll answer both - they’re pretty well tied together anyway.

The short version:

Otherkinity is an identity. It’s who we are, we can’t choose to pick it up or put it down, and it comes with struggles - though no, ‘kin are not systematically oppressed (though we are pretty badly bullied and, at this point, pushed out of our own words and spaces).

What people calling roleplay/relating to/projecting onto characters “kinning for fun” does is steal our words, make them meaningless, and in doing so, make it difficult or impossible for us to find each other. If someone says “I kin [x],” I no longer know whether they mean “I am [x] on an intrinsic level” or “haha I relate to this character a lot”. I no longer know whether they actually share my experiences or if they’re going to turn on me and call me “crazy” as soon as they realize I’m not exaggerating or joking or roleplaying. It’s done massive harm to the community as a whole because it’s become difficult to tell whether someone is actually ‘kin or if they’ve misunderstood the whole thing - and because antikin rhetoric, which I’m seeing more and more in KFF spaces, hurts far more when it’s coming from inside what you thought was a community space than when it’s coming from self-labeled “antikin.”

There are other words for roleplaying and relating to and projecting onto characters. Hell, there are words for strongly identifying with-but-not-as characters/things, though usually KFF people don’t even seem serious enough for those to fit in my experience. I’m really not sure why these people are so determined to steal and misuse our words, words that were specifically created to mean something else, when they already have their own and are just refusing to use them. (Or, hell, if you don’t feel like those fit, make your own. We did. It’s your turn to put in the work. (General you, not you-the-anon, of course.))

An analogy, if that still doesn’t quite land for you:

Consider, for a moment, the transgender community. I am aware this is a dangerous thing to say, but bear with me. Obvious CW for hypothetical transphobia up ahead is obvious.

Consider if you were part of the trans community (I don’t know if you are or not), having finally found a word to explain why you feel the way you do about yourself, why your experiences don’t seem to match up with those of everyone else around you. Having found a community, a home, full of other people like you, people you never would have met if not for words like “transgender” and “gender dysphoria/euphoria” that were created specifically to describe your experiences.

Now consider if people suddenly stumbled across your community for the first time who were not trans themselves. They see community jokes and lighthearted posts out of context, because Tumblr and Twitter aren’t exactly conducive to making sure people find the Transgender 101 information posts first. They don’t bother to do further research, assuming they understand: ah, these people like to crossdress! They like to pretend they’re a different gender! This seems like a fun hobby, I want in!

They begin to post things like this. They post photos of them crossdressing and caption them “hi, I’m [name], and I trans men!” and things of the like. Suddenly the concept of “transing for fun” seems to be everywhere - and it’s not at all what being trans actually is, but these people either don’t know or don’t care. When actual trans people try to politely correct them, they’re accused of “gatekeeping” - and to be clear, this is not “nonbinary people aren’t real,” it’s “transgender means you identify as a gender other than the one you were assigned at birth, and you’re self-identifying as the gender you were assigned at birth 100% and telling us this is just a fun hobby for you, therefore you’re not trans, you’re crossdressing or doing drag or being GNC. That’s fine, but it’s not being trans - you have other words to describe that, use those.”

(Yes, I am aware these things have a history with the trans community - please just ignore that for the sake of the analogy and bear with me on the slightly simplified version of this. “Kinning for fun” does not have that same history with the otherkin community.)

...And then the response to those attempted corrections, in some corners, turns into “wait, you ACTUALLY think you’re another gender? idk that sounds pretty unhealthy, maybe you should see a psychologist or something :\” and “you’re taking this too seriously.”

I imagine, in this hypothetical scenario, you’d also be pretty fuckin peeved.

(Obviously, in this hypothetical scenario, systematic transphobia would be an issue as well, which isn’t the case for otherkin - again, you’re gonna have to bear with me on the simplification for sake of analogy there.)

(EDIT: this is not an anti-MOGAI/exclusionist argument, this is “you’re literally telling me you don’t fit the definition,” explanation on that here)

The long version, which is probably still worth reading if you have the time and energy:

Otherkinity is... pretty core to who I am, who we as a group of individuals are. We live with being otherkin on a daily basis. Many of us spent a long time feeling different and disconnected and not understanding why until we found the otherkin community. Even people like me, who don’t share that experience and still had social connection - I’ve still had to live with weird differences that I had to learn to mask when necessary; instincts that don’t line up with human society well, feeling body parts that weren’t there and that no one else ever seemed to have, things that other kids grew out of because it was just make-believe for them and I... didn’t, because it was never make-believe for me to begin with. Oh, sure, I played make-believe too - I played warrior cats and house and all those things with the other kids, but there were things that weren’t play-pretend for me too. I didn’t have an explanation for it for a long time - it was just how I was, I was weird, and fortunately for me personally I was okay with that (many of those with species dysphoria or more trouble connecting with humans have more problems from that than I did).

And then I found the word “otherkin.” And suddenly everything fell into place, and I had an explanation for the things I’d been experiencing, and there were other people like me. Something I’d assumed didn’t exist. I found others who shared my unique experiences, who were talking about how to cope with the instinct to growl or snap jaws at people instead of expressing annoyance in a human way instead of just saying “that’s weird, don’t do that”, who were talking about dealing with phantom wings and tails, who understood me. I wasn’t weird, I wasn’t broken, I was exactly what one would expect from a dragon living in human skin. I found an explanation for myself. I found a home.

That is why otherkinity matters - it is who we are, it’s not something we can walk away from (certainly not most of us, anyway), and it’s something many of us need the support of the community to help deal with on a daily basis. Being a nonhuman in human society isn’t always easy, but it’s not something we can just magically stop being - it’s core to who we are, we (generally) didn’t choose to be this way, and we (generally) can’t choose to stop. Which is fine - the vast majority of us can cope with it just fine, with a little advice and help and space to be our authentic selves in. We found each other, we built this community from the ground up to make a space and words to make finding each other easier - or possible at all.

Thus we come to the second half of our story.

It was only a couple of years ago that the “kin for fun” trend started getting big. It had existed before that, of course, but it only started going mainstream two, maybe three years ago, from what I can tell. Suddenly people were treating “kin” like it meant relating to, projecting onto, roleplaying as, or just really really liking a character or thing - not being that thing, which is what it actually means. Not long after that, it became hard to tell whether someone saying “I kin this” meant they were that thing, that they were actually part of our community - or that they really really liked that thing and either didn’t know or couldn’t be bothered to learn that that wasn’t the case for us.

Not long after that, it became relatively commonplace to hear phrases like “otherkin are ruining kinning!!” and “you’re taking this too seriously” and “idk, if it’s that serious for you that sounds unhealthy. maybe you should get some help :\” (all directly quoted, or as exactly quoted as I can remember, from things KFF people have said to me or people I know).

It is a special kind of hell, I think, to be told “you’re taking this too seriously, that’s unhealthy” by people who are taking words created to describe your experiences, not theirs, and misusing them to mean something that you do for fun on a weekend instead of something that’s intrinsic to your being.

Perhaps more importantly, like I’ve said, it’s making it almost impossible to know whether someone who says “I kin [x]” is actually ‘kin or if they’re misusing our words to mean something else entirely. The entire point of words is to communicate ideas, and once you start misusing words to mean something totally different than what they actually mean, that communication falls apart and suddenly we might as well not have those words at all. Especially when the community is small enough and obscure enough that we’re starting to be outnumbered by the misinformation. We’re being run out of our own words, words we created to describe our experiences specifically - because we’re a small community that the wider internet can easily drown out by sheer numbers of people who either don’t know any better or don’t care to learn.

That’s the harm it does - the harm it is doing, right now. That’s why it’s important enough to post about. That’s why it matters - because we’re fighting desperately to hang onto our own words so that others like us can actually find us. Because we’re seeing young nonhumans go “this isn’t a kin, I actually am this” and screaming “No, I’m so sorry that this is what the misinformation has done to you, that’s exactly what otherkin means, you have a place here, please don’t let these non-’kin misusing our words drive you away from the very community you’re looking for and that you belong in.” Because we can’t even communicate effectively about our own experiences anymore except in semi-closed spaces like Discord servers and forums (and the number of Discord servers overrun with KFF people is absurd).

......This got very long. Hopefully it at least explained why it matters so much to me and others a bit better ^^; Thanks for hearing me out, and thank you again for looking into this beyond your initial knee-jerk reaction - I really do appreciate it.

(For further reading, if that text wall didn’t blow you out of the water completely, I recommend my “kin for fun” tag, which has more posts like this in both short and long form.)