#well not me for sure. but then i have unpopular opinions

[mzannthropy]

Look idk about the adoption of Jody by the Titus sisters, it feels cruel to say it (bc one of the things we as readers expect from this book that Jody does indeed get adopted) but the way it's written seems to me... well, lazy. Like, LMM remembered, oh shit, I need to sort Jody out, so she inserted a chapter where she dealt with it and that's it, it was done. If the Titus sisters were looking for a child to adopt, surely it would have been known around the neighbourhood?

I wish it was handled differently, is what I'm saying. Jane lost her best friend in Toronto and ofc, in typical LMM fashion it's city-bad countryside-good (the feature of her writing I hate with my whole heart, yet I still keep reading her, but it's also the reason why she'll always be my only 2nd most fave author). I would have preferred a character introduced in Toronto (maybe a friend of Robin's, the one who lived at Lakeside Gardens) who would be good and eventually adopt Jody.

Though I'll say that I like that Jane's relationship with Phyllis and some of her relatives improved. I liked that line from the first summer on PEI: She thought it must be that the P. E. Islanders were nicer, or at least more neighbourly, than the Toronto people. She did not realize that the change was in herself.

Anyway just ignore me, sigh...

[neofelis----nebulosa]

Apparently the Kung Fu Panda 4 synopsis dropped when I wasn’t looking?

[waffultaim]

In my eyes the real true options that could have been TC deputy (after the darkest hour) will always be Mousefur and Sandstorm ⭐

[translucio]

idk how they did it but cult of the lamb is just so hard to put down. i think it's the incredibly juicy feedback for literally everything (particles! cute funny sounds! filled up the meter now it's empty again! lizard brain go brrr) + how extremely short the gameplay loops are (5-15min runs, 8 min days, most minigames are like 10-30sec with the exception of knucklebones which is like 1-2mins) + how despite having limited content they really stretch the replayability and give you tons of unlockable stuff as rewards. it's TIGHT and very impressive

[astrogre]

Astro observations 2

Disclaimer: I would like to confirm that my observations are the niche ways in which a placement may manifest, it is the way I’ve noticed it in others, the people around me, celebrities, myself and in my studies. It is not the doctrine wide broad way the placement occurs for everyone.

Jupiter 7H can have a reputation of wanting EVERYONE. Anyone with a pulse, they like everyone, usually their dating history is so diverse that if you put all their love interests in a room together it would be the most strangest group of people. Drake has this placement and he is known for wanting, going on dates with or having a relationship with Nicki minaj, Ice Spice, Jorja smith, JLo, Kylie Jenner, Tyra Banks, Sza, Hailey Beiber, Serena Williams, literally everyone. Marilyn Monroe also has this placement and people would say the same about her. With this placement it can make the native have interest with a lot of people. You can have plenty of potential partners.

Having 12H placements Sun especially can make you feel like your gifts, talents, purpose or whatever planet topic is in it, was made for others. Like serving an ungrateful, complaining customer that ends up eating the entire plate anyway. You individually may not be selfless but it feels like the planet in the 12H benefits others and not you. It feels like a fire that burns to keep others warm.

Conjuncts to the MC (planets and asteroid) show what you are most known for in the workplace, what you’re like at your best self too. Any placements conjunct to MC show what you are like at the peak of your life and how you act in your career and what are known for in your career. That’s how MC can indicate what your career is because it focuses on who you are at your best and how others see you in the workplace and go off from there. Eg. Aquarius MC conjunct Uranus and Webb may indicate you being tech savvy at your best self so astrologers may assume you’re in tech industry or well known online, but you can still be for an example a doctor that aids in treatment with technology, your MC sign doesn’t mean you exclusively work in the industry the sign represents, it just shows you the way you work in the industry you pursue

Neptune 1st housers may look completely different to their parents. Like you can see a hint of their parents features on their face but they don’t look that much like them. They can be born with features that are contrary to their birth parents like red hair and blue eyes in an all brunette family. Or it can be a subtle difference like they appear as if they’re from a different country, people guess their ethnicity incorrectly like all the time.

With Neptune 1st house There is nothing particularly special about these natives physical appearance in particular, they MAKE themselves special. The way they carry their physical body and animate it, is what makes these people so different and admired. They’re like puppeteers for their physical bodies. This is a continuous pattern I’ve seen, like if you just saw these people on the street sure -you’d think they’re pretty.. but not necessarily “otherworldly”, what makes these individuals perceived as such is the way they control/express their behavior. I have noticed Neptune here makes people VERY controlling over their appearances, it does make me question if Neptune is a subtly secretly controlling planet, if it manipulates subconsciously, like a child conveniently stepping on other’s sandcastles when running on the beach so they don’t have to wait their turn for the buckets, these natives can accidentally bring about their ideal version of themselves to reality and everyone is like who is this??? It’s more so like they customised their avatar in their head and showed it to everyone here in the physical plane. It’s like they made themselves a game characters in a world full of civilian people, that’s why they’re so unique looking, it’s because they wrote themselves .

Unpopular opinion but Scorpio Venus isn’t a fun sexy placement that everyone hypes it up to be. It can make you constantly end up in relationships that have weird power dynamics and are just unhealthy. You may struggle to be in a soft loving relationship because it’s not intense enough but that just leads you/partners to manipulate and themes of control in your relationship. Sure, it may be considered“hot” but not healthy. Not love.

Also another thing I’ve realised with this placement, feminine natives attracted to men PLEASE don’t intentionally flirt with someone. You’re already so intense and magnetic without realising it that if you intentionally flirt with men it’s so extreme like a 0-100, that it can overwhelm/scare them because of how predatory it may feel 💀. If a man isn’t pursuing you, he’s not interested because your always appealing and screaming out a mating call even if your physically doing nothing.

Lilith opposite moon natives can have mothers who impose traditional lifestyle and beliefs on the native. For an example the mother may be controlling and imposing her ideas of humbleness, modesty, and traditional masculinity/femininity on the child. Defensive, like she is everything but a mother herself but subjects you to standards she cannot even amount to.

Uranus 2H feel like everything that makes them feel good and safe can be taken away in an instance. These people KNOW what it’s like to have the things they love abruptly taken from them over and over again by others or by nature, until they may even struggle to value the great things they have anymore. 2H rules your values and self worth, for these natives it gets to an extent where they don’t even value themselves because once they finally start to accept themselves they’re shown a perspective to them that they cannot accept.

It is said that the degree of a placement shows which age that planets energy starts to become active. Not sure how true that is but when you look at your natal chart, try keeping it in mind for yourself and look back to when you first had an experience under the themes of that planet. E.g for sun, when and what age did you feel seen, Venus who and how old were you for your first love or romantic partner

Sun conjunct Lilith. People with this placement may deal with their fathers highlighting the most non conforming features of themselves, the smallest of things you do will be escalated, this can manifest as slut shaming, being degraded for the way you are because you’re not “soft”, making you out to be like a chaotic mess, villainising you. Imagine having a loud snitch exposing your most “cancellable” traits. Britney Spears has this exact placement and I went to test if my hypothesis is true:

For Britney this placement is in the 3rd house which rules communication, hence why her father made comments about her like this, but say if it was in the 2nd house it could be done by a father providing less for his child because he deems them unworthy due to their non-traditional traits. This illumination of shame is done by the themes of the house this aspect is in.

All the Sagittarius influenced natives I meet always play a loud an instrument. I’ve seen it in Sagittarius suns especially and also in sag stelliums. I have no idea why, but they always do. They play things like drums, electric guitar. I’ve also seen that they can play piano and other instruments but it’s actually not their main instrument to play and if it’s not instruments they have an interest in LOUD hobbies, like cars.

Pluto in 11th house can have one of those character AI boyfriends, be in a relationship with their NPC rpg girlfriend/boyfriend, or they can just straight up play otome games and deeply feel like they have a connection to the character, these are the kind to marry their VR chat girlfriend and play mystic messenger.

Also Pluto 11Hs if your dreams and ambitions were to be vocalised to your peers, they may find you egotistical or someone to watch out for. You are a BIG dreamer. It’s giving Azula. I think Pluto 11H natives learn to keep their ideas to themselves if they want to be successful.

Natives with Aphrodite (1388) in 1st house, when describing you people may argue on the appearance or how you may present yourself as, or who they believe you are, alike to when the men witnessed Aphrodite in mythology, they would say “she had beautiful blonde hair and a soft voice” and another man would scream at him and say “nay, she was a red haired bold aggressive woman who goes for what she wants” this is because the men see what they want to see in her, they see their ideal beauty, but can both identify it’s the same person. When they see her in person at the same time they will only see what they think she is and will not be able to see her for herself. Could indicate in your reputation, you are idolised like Aphrodite but only being liked for your beauty/the persona they project on you.

Saturn 3rd house can make you have siblings that whip you up into shape, being a catalyst or aid to your best self, whether in a harsh way or a progressive way it depends on the sign. E.g Billie Eilish has this placement and her brother Finneas is a key aid to her success today by being the one who writes her music, and Kylie Jenner has this in Aries but her sister Kendall was her competition, worst critic, extremely condescending and critical of her body, her image, her skills even making fun of her for having lip injections in interviews etc which forced Kylie to feel insecure changing everything about herself but lead her to the popularity she has today.

Scorpio Mars isn’t a fun placement either, so many say that these natives are blessed, after all, Mars is in rulership, it gives them will power, survival instinct and makes them a shark. But people don’t discuss how being a Scorpio Mars can make you hurt others further than intended, it’s like tactically pulling the jenga block excited for your opponents next go but instead- you make the entire tower fall on your their face, they hurt themselves crying and the game ends bitterly. You won but at what cost? You can overestimate what people can take, and inevitably your loved ones may become the sorry victim of your sting. I think deep down Scorpio Mars natives know how much they hurt people and sometimes wish they weren’t so intense. I always think of Omni man from invincible having this placement.

Was working as an external motivational speaker for a school and this Gemini Sun teacher was so prim and proper, he’d sit crossing his legs and always be making sure students were extremely well behaved listening for anyone talking like this:

I’d say rather strict. He was timely, efficient hated tardiness and I knew he was a bloody mercurial with that prestige desk organisation and flick of fingers while typing (such sass),I thought he was a Virgo but, when I pried to get his birthday (which was very difficult as he was professional and loved etiquette). He was actually a Gemini Sun. Gemini suns you guys have the goofiest of smiles and energy but you can be scary to work under. It’s SO funny how differently Gemini suns treat those on the same authority standing as them compared to the ones they’re supposed to oversee. They’re like 👨‍⚖️🔎⏰ as a boss, but personally like: 🌸😃🌈 to their colleagues. You guys also have very snappy and sassy comebacks to disrespect it’s hilarious to watch outside looking in how you even come up with such remarks. I’ve also noticed you guys can be sucky and adoring towards your bosses, but strangely it works.

Capricorn MC, how does it feel to live my dream?? People with this placement are the most high earning, most dominant or the most respected and well known person in their field. Whether it be politics, modelling, office, technology, teaching, literally everything.. if you have Capricorn MC the way you handle your work is with an extreme amount of meticulous efforts. You go through the small print terms and conditions, execute the process with full clarity which is what makes you guys so successful. You don’t fuck around, Examples of people with this placement are Martin Luther King, David Beckham, Kendall Jenner, Rihanna, Mariah Carey, Heath Ledger, Nikola Tesla, Jeff Bezos, Alexander the Great. Notice how they’re all contenders for the title “Greatest of all time” in the fields they’re in. When they say that Saturns influence makes you established and remembered throughout history, it’s true. With Capricorn MC, you’re probably the first to set a record in the work you do and will be remembered as one of the foundations of the future.

I don’t want to reinforce stereotypes about Pisces moon. However, I’ve noticed that you really shouldn’t jokingly insult these guys. I think it’s because of their inclination to read between the lines and the underlying meaning of words that are said. They really don’t take criticism very well because they pick up the hidden meanings, e.g I once lived with one and he jokingly told me he’s going to lock me out of his room so that I don’t rob him and then I asked in all seriousness“why would I rob you?” And he was hurt and explained it’s because my question suggested that i thought he didn’t have nice clothes. (Which is true, im not interested in menswear nor his style). Perhaps this is a me thing though because im rather forthright with what I say. Maybe Pisces moons aren’t so sensitive, maybe we’re just cruel to them.

Also these natives are incredibly intelligent in terms of understanding emotions. I’ve noticed that they can easily grasp why certain people do certain things which is what makes them known to be “empathetic or forgiving” but it’s really because the concept of deep and complex emotions isn’t difficult for them to grasp. They’re like the Einsteins of human nature. And when I speak of empathy, that doesn’t mean they they can do no wrong, that’s a common misconception about Pisces moon, there are bad people within every placement but strangely Pisces moons if they are “bad” end up being forgiven for it because they garner sympathy from others. E.g Kim Jong-un, Edgar Allen Poe, Kesha, Coco Chanel, Kendrick Lamar, Vanessa Hudgens, Hilary Clinton, Elvis Presley, Michael Jackson, Kanye West, Michelle Obama.

Fama (408) conjunct Mercury can indicate being well known for your ideas and thoughts, they can stand out or perhaps the way you communicate them does. You have an attractive mind that garners attention from many, people love to hear what you have to say, it’s like being lady wistledown from bridgerton. Ben Shapiro is an example of someone with this placement. He speaks very fast and is a famous conservative speaker engaging in debates with political royalty.

Ascendant conjunct Chiron forever being attacked for their appearance really saddens me. These natives can be treated normally but then once they do something that others don’t like, their appearance will be promptly targeted. E.g Margot Robbie (brutally called mid because male viewers didn’t appreciate her in the Barbie movie), Peter Dinklage (think he complained about dwarfism being represented in cinema but I can imagine he must have also grown up with a lot of unkind words), Priyanka Chopra (people coming for her when she married a Jonas brother), Selena Gomez (I don’t even know why but people attack her for her body apparently), Abraham Lincoln (this man wanted to free slaves I bet they made caricatures of him during the 1800s).

Venus in 10H, why is your relationship a Google search away. Everything we know about your love life is against our will. I know you love your partner but please. These natives can end up telling on themselves about the nature of their relationships. Examples: Jayda Smith (red table), Johnny Depp ( his released audio recordings), Billie Eilish (made a whole documentary about her relationship to her ex boyfriend) David Bowie (spoke pleasantly of his wife Iman any chance he got in many interviews), Kristen Stewart (cheating at award ceremonies).

Aries Mercury people are extremely motivational, they really know how to make others do something simply by their words, it can be for the bad or for the good E.g The rock (Dwayne Johnson) , Adolf Hitler, Albert Einstein, Queen Elizabeth II, Amber Heard, Mark Zuckerberg, Al Pacino, William Shakespeare. These natives can make an understaffed workforce win the battle because they remembered what you said, they’re usually quoted and the people with this placement can have really empowering but simple one liners that make you want to beat on your chest like King Kong and seize the day. Very influential and honestly the best people to have a pep talk from.

[asocialangel]

pervy boyfriends

bllk boys who would –in my humble opinion– be pretty pervy towards their s/o. 

Shidou, Isagi, Karasu headcanons (low-key nsfw), i tried to be gender neutral but maybe it’s a bit more catered towards afab/fem reader for the Isagi part. 

ꕥ

Shidou:

Let’s stats by the most obvious of em all 

He is OPENLY and PROUDLY an OFFICIAL PERV

Let’s call it as it is

We haven't seen him talk about lovers canonly yet but i feel like he’d be a monster

This man is ALWAYS making dirty jokes to you

About you mostly 

Oh and public or not, he doesn't care, he if thought of something, you best believe he gon say it, regardless of whether your dad is around. 

He takes a sick pleasure in exposing your kinks to the whole word, especially ones you’ve told him you’re embarrassed about 

He likes it specifically when he says something in a public setting just loud enough so you will never know for sure if people heard him or not

Likes does his team’s goalkeeper know that you like being choked or not ?? You will never be sure ! (And it's not like you're gonna ask him) 

You never really heard it for yourself but you’re quite sure he talks about your sex life to his friends 

Cause multiple times they came up to you and made a joke that was suspiciously real 

“haha Y/N did you have a cat attack your boyfriend’s back ??” “Y/N can you help me out for next week’s anime convention ? I heard you’re quite good at cosplaying”

You even received a leash from a secret santa (you don't have a dog ???)

You’ve tried to ask him about it once, he jokingly said yes, so you never sure he actually meant it 

But you’re scared that if you ask too much he gon make it worse. 

Mind you Shidou is not just an asshole that crosses your boundaries. You had actually told him you were actually kinda into people low key knowing you’re a freak. But you could never say it yourself. So he’s actually nice and thoughtful to his s/o here. 

So yah let's say Shidou is not ashamed to explain to people what his position he likes you in

Also it’s almost obvious atp but he likes dirty talking in uncomfy places cause he knows it takes you very little to get you started, so he’s there getting you horny in the middle of applebees like… 

He likes telling you all the things he’d do to you once you're back home. 

He also often shares the details of how hard he was in the shower this morning thinking about you and how he chose to wait until you guys could do it cause he felt it would be a shame to waste his “precious cum” (his words) anywhere but “your pretty body” (again his words). 

So as I said, certified unashamed pervy boyfriend.

ꕥ

Isagi:

Now I think this would be an unpopular opinion because everyone and their dad headcanons Isagi as “a sweet caring innocent boyfriend 🥺” and while I agree that is true, he is multifaceted to me. 

To me, he would also be extremely pervy to his s/o, but unbeknownst to them. 

Like the minute you’re turning your back to him, he’s staring fouly at your ass

If you bend down to grab sum, he will not bother to look under your skirt that lifts up or your exposed cleavage. 

But again, he will only do it when he knows you can’t see him. 

He likes watching you doing the most innocent things and adding a double meaning to it in his head

Like you eating a skewer will be something far more dirty in his mind and you whining at the antiseptic on your wound is, in another setting, something way sexier. 

So everytime you see him smile at casual things you do, like getting on your knees to tie your shoelaces, you think wow he loves me so much, but truth is yes he loves you that much, actually way more. 

Isagi will always make the most far fetched double entendres to you, knowing damn well you’re too innocent and maybe head in the clouds to ever get it

So he says it, sees you agree mindlessly, and smiles to himself.

I’m telling you he’s an undercover perv.

Some of his dirty minded friends that have, they too, experience in that field, will sometimes get these double meanings he tells you and chuckle at his reaction to your non reaction. 

Unlike you, THEY know he’s toying with you and tbf they also find it quite cute

Isagi is not the type to put out all your sex life to his friends tho. But sometimes, just sometimes, he will (again) make innuendos about things you’re good at, like doing or like receiving.

But again, when he says it it's with a straight face. 

So his friends are never sure that he actually did mean what he said or if that innuendo was a pure coincidence. 

He just smiles smugly to himself

Also final addition: he knows your weak spots and he plays witit. 

Like he knows you're quite sensitive so he purposefully places the coffee grounds on the top shelf to see you struggle, have you jump around to see it jiggle, watch your shirt lift up and inevitably come to your help by grabbing said item from behind, basically squeezing you between him and the counter, pressing his dick into your ass, knowing damn well that’s enough to have you blush and moan.

But as always, you just think to yourself that he's so nice to help you, and you're so sensitive for reacting to a simple thing. 

ꕥ

Karasu:

let’s not forget about this pretty boy cause i feel we ALL know he can be so pervy…

To me, this boy is always, ALWAYS touching you 

He alwaysss has a hand on you like at all times TT

Saying hello ? Good morning kiss

He tries to find you in public ? When he sees you he’s gonna make himself known by laying a hand on your hip

He won a match ? You know already he’ll grab your ass when he finds you. 

He does not care about decency or whatever that social construct is: 

If he wants to feel you up, he will. 

Don’t care if his teammates are taunting him, if your friends are here, if a camera is filming

He likes the feeling of your skin on his, knowing you’re real cause he can feel it, feel the friction and the heat 

And he also likes knowing you’ll always be available for him, lending him a kiss whenever he asks for one

He should know by now you're never gonna say no, cause you love him so much, but he’s always looking to be reassured that you are his. 

So with Karasu, it does not stop at hand holding when you're going out

More like, hand holding, stroking your ass, kissing you passionately then placing his hand on your chin, smiling and walking again like normal until five meters further he wants to feel your waist. 

Mind you you tried to tell him this was not socially okay, being so explicit on PDA. His answer ?

Says who ? It’s not like people don't know where to be together. I dont think I'm breaking news to them that we get physical if I kiss you in public. 

“Babe, this is not about the kiss on my cheeks in public. I’m talking about you stretching my shirt collar to look at my cleavage while you’re on half time and a whole literal stadium is looking at you”. 

“What, you want to keep it a secret that I smack you ass naked when I win ?” “Well yeah that's kinda exactly what i'm saying” “Useless to bother hiding, they must know already” 

BUT THEY KNOW CAUSE HE WON’T STOP BEING SO HIGH KEY IN PUBLIC. 

So yeah when I say he’s a perv I mean he won’t bother to wait till behind closed doors. He will whisper in your hearts while grabbing your waist from behind no matter if you are in the middle of ordering coffee. 

At least you’re sue he loves you and won’t mind letting others know

ꕥ

A/N: yayyy this came up to me as i was falling asleep, Isagi staring relentlessly as your ass the second you turn around and then thought yeah he'd defo not be the only pervy bf in bllk. Hope u like it~~ still have many more things to write.

[babyleostuff]

hi! I was wondering if you would write an angst svt reaction about them saying something they didn’t mean in a fight but it just came out?

i decided to do this with the hhu, if you want me to do it with any of the other units let me know!

saying something they didn’t mean in a fight | hip hop unit

*ੈ✩‧₊˚ CHOI SEUNGCHEOL 

as a leo and a fire sing myself, i’m sure that cheol can be a bit impulsive and not think his actions through, especially if it’s during a fight where his emotions are all over the place. things would get heated really quickly with him, and he’d have a hard time holding his tongue. 

“shit, baby,” he reached for your hand, eyes wide and panicked. “don’t fucking call me that seungcheol,” you pulled your wrist out of his grasp, looking at him with an expression that made his heart shutter to million pieces. 

he knew the second the words left his mouth that he shouldn't have said them, but his brain was too slow to understand that, and the heat of the argument made him lose all of his common sense. “my precious baby, i’ve hurt them,” that would be the thought that’d run through his mind, as he tried to wrap his head around what he had just done. “just… leave me alone.”

and he’d do that. he’d give you as much time as you needed, but that wouldn’t mean he’d abandon you. cheol would make you your favourite ramyeon and place it at the nightstand next to your bed where you were resting, or he’d put his hoodie in the dryer you always wore after shower, so it’d be warm and cosy. 

and he’d take his pillow and blanket from your bed to sleep on the couch, so he wouldn’t make you uncomfortable, and so that you could rest peacefully. but then, after maybe an hour of tossing and turning, seungcheol would hear quiet footsteps, and a dog's paws running across the wooden floor, meaning you couldn’t sleep as well. 

you’d lay next to seungcheol, your back pressed against his warm chest, as his arms shyly sneaked around your waist to pull you even closer. “please, let’s never fight like that again,” you murmured, pulling one of cheol’s hands under your chin, nuzzling your nose against his palm.

 *ੈ✩‧₊˚ JEON WONWOO 

honestly, i have a hard time imagining wonwoo saying something he doesn’t mean. i feel like he always thinks before he talks, no matter what situation he’s in, and he strikes me as a person who is great at keeping his emotions at bay, contrary to cheol. he’d also have this thought at the back of his head that no fight is worth hurting you with his words. 

you looked at each other in confusion, as the words left wonwoo’s mouth. never in your whole relationship had he said anything like that, so you were taken aback more by the fact that he even said it more than that it was directed towards you. 

wonwoo nervously fixed his glasses, looking as lost as you. you could almost see his brain trying to understand what had just happened. “i’m sorry i… i didn’t mean what i just said,” he looked at you, eyes big and sad. 

you sighed, and grabbed his hand intertwining your fingers. “i know you didn’t mean it baby” you said, looking at his broken expression. “but you still said it.” his eyes got even wider, and he quickly cradled your face in his hands, running his thumb over your cheeks. 

“i know that no matter what i say won’t change what i did, but you have to know that no part of my mind and soul believes in what i said. that was just a stupid intrusive thought that i shouldn’t have said.” 

even though you said you forgave him, wonwoo was still very attentive to you for the rest of the evening - he had you on his lap for the whole time he was gaming, he made sure the sweatshirt you wore to bed was one of his best ones, and he cuddled you extra close to his chest that night.

*ੈ✩‧₊˚ KIM MINGYU 

another fire sign, and as cheol (this might be an unpopular opinion?), might also have issues with controlling his emotions and words during heated arguments. like, i know he’s an amazing person with the best personality, etc. etc. BUT i see gyu as someone who is very defensive of his beliefs and point of views, and i think he can get quite stubborn, which can lead to him saying things he doesn’t really mean.

mingyu knew he shouldn’t have opened his mouth - both of you were consumed by your emotions and neither of you were thinking clearly. the only difference was that he let those emotions hurt you. 

“i didn’t… i don’t…,” he whispered, looking at your shattered expression. yeah, he couldn’t believe it either that those horrendous words left his mouth. you closed your eyes tightly, a single tear rolling down your cheek. the person who you trusted with your life broke your heart just like that, but you wouldn’t cry in front of him. he didn’t deserve a single tear after what he had done. 

you held your head high up as you turned around and started walking towards the door. “no, no please,” mingyu followed after you, catching up with you quickly. “don’t leave my love. hate me, yell at me, punch me, but don’t leave,” his eyebrows were furrowed and eyes glossy, and you knew that he was trying not to cry as well. 

“i’ll take the couch for tonight, but stay. i won’t let you walk out, it’s too dangerous.” 

he cradled your head in his hands, and pecked your forehead gently, before disappearing in the bedroom to take his pillow and an extra blanket.

*ੈ✩‧₊˚ CHWE VERNON 

same with wonwoo, i don’t see vernon saying something he doesn’t mean. like, i don’t think his mind even works that way. for one - arguments with him are never heated, not because he doesn’t give a fuck, but his personality and mindset are so calm and collected in itself that neither of you even have a chance to raise your voices.

“i’m sorry,” he stared at his shoes, too scared to look at you. “i’ll leave you alone.” 

he quietly closed the front door behind him, leaving you alone in your apartment, confused and sad. vernon rarely got angry, especially at you, and you had never heard him raise his voice. you had a stupid fight that probably started over something stupid, but both of you were tired and irritated and you just snapped at each other.

but you didn’t mean for him to leave. 

later that night, when the sun had already set, vernon came back home as quietly as he left. “chwe hansol, where the fuck have you been?” you exclaimed, worried to death. You threw your arms around hiis neck, pulling him close to you. You shivered as he nuzzled his cold nose into your neck, placing a gentle kiss there. 

“you know i didn’t mean what i said, right?” he asked, pulling his face away from you. “of course, silly,” you smiled at him, caressing the back of his neck. “but never leave like that again, or i’ll kick you out myself.”

taglist (if you want to be added, check my masterlist): @weird-bookworm @sea-moon-star @hanniehaee @wonwooz1 @byprettymar @edgaralienpoe @staranghae @eightlightstar @itza-meee @immabecreepin @hyneyedfiz @honestlydopetree @dkswife @marisblogg @whatsgyud @aaniag @jeonghansshitester @daegutowns @carlesscat-thinklogic23 @embrace-themagic

[polin-ista]

I'm sorry but I'm almost in awe of Penelope in season 1, to me just top tier badass bitch shit right there. She's 18 people! Not only did she start a successful gossip column before her debut but she also managed to save Daphne from a disgusting engagement and Colin from a naive and disingenuous one but she did all of it by herself. Also while avoiding discovery from bowstreet runners, the Ton AND The Queen.

The woman is a mogul and you cannot convince me otherwise. She is not perfect, no. But my god is she fkn impressive! It's the 1800's y'all! She's in the highest level of society and one of the most sheltered creatures in that time and she is THE rich husband. I am deadass.

Unpopular opinion but honestly? if I was Colin I'd be grateful for what Pen did, sure it was humiliating to have everyone know like that but she tried to tell him. He dismissed her worries like she was a child and honestly I don't blame her after what Marina said.

It's not so much the brutal way Marina said Pen's love was a fantasy, no. What pissed me with Marina is that she also treated Pen like a child. Someone who was supposed to be her friend and she immediately assumes that Pen is doing what she is doing out of pettiness, when honestly, to me Pen didn't look all that surprised when Marina said that Pen's love was a fantasy. In fact she looked irritated, like that was a given. And I don't think it was Pen's deciding factor but the fact that she knew Marina couldn't love him back is what pushed Pen to write the column.

Pen from the books is well aware that her love is unrequited but it doesn't stop her loving him and wishing him happiness with his future wife. She resigned herself long ago to watch him fall in love with someone else. She believes herself born for him but he was born for another, I think in that scene if you listen to the questions Pen asks, it's never about her, it's always about Colin.

[itsawritblr]

Holy shit, the New York Times is FINALLY interviewing and listening to detransistioners.

The tide is turning.

Opinion by Pamela Paul

As Kids, They Thought They Were Trans. They No Longer Do.

Feb. 2, 2024

Grace Powell was 12 or 13 when she discovered she could be a boy.

Growing up in a relatively conservative community in Grand Rapids, Mich., Powell, like many teenagers, didn’t feel comfortable in her own skin. She was unpopular and frequently bullied. Puberty made everything worse. She suffered from depression and was in and out of therapy.

“I felt so detached from my body, and the way it was developing felt hostile to me,” Powell told me. It was classic gender dysphoria, a feeling of discomfort with your sex.

Reading about transgender people online, Powell believed that the reason she didn’t feel comfortable in her body was that she was in the wrong body. Transitioning seemed like the obvious solution. The narrative she had heard and absorbed was that if you don’t transition, you’ll kill yourself.

At 17, desperate to begin hormone therapy, Powell broke the news to her parents. They sent her to a gender specialist to make sure she was serious. In the fall of her senior year of high school, she started cross-sex hormones. She had a double mastectomy the summer before college, then went off as a transgender man named Grayson to Sarah Lawrence College, where she was paired with a male roommate on a men’s floor. At 5-foot-3, she felt she came across as a very effeminate gay man.

At no point during her medical or surgical transition, Powell says, did anyone ask her about the reasons behind her gender dysphoria or her depression. At no point was she asked about her sexual orientation. And at no point was she asked about any previous trauma, and so neither the therapists nor the doctors ever learned that she’d been sexually abused as a child.

“I wish there had been more open conversations,” Powell, now 23 and detransitioned, told me. “But I was told there is one cure and one thing to do if this is your problem, and this will help you.”

Progressives often portray the heated debate over childhood transgender care as a clash between those who are trying to help growing numbers of children express what they believe their genders to be and conservative politicians who won’t let kids be themselves.

But right-wing demagogues are not the only ones who have inflamed this debate. Transgender activists have pushed their own ideological extremism, especially by pressing for a treatment orthodoxy that has faced increased scrutiny in recent years. Under that model of care, clinicians are expected to affirm a young person’s assertion of gender identity and even provide medical treatment before, or even without, exploring other possible sources of distress.

Many who think there needs to be a more cautious approach — including well-meaning liberal parents, doctors and people who have undergone gender transition and subsequently regretted their procedures — have been attacked as anti-trans and intimidated into silencing their concerns.

And while Donald Trump denounces “left-wing gender insanity” and many trans activists describe any opposition as transphobic, parents in America’s vast ideological middle can find little dispassionate discussion of the genuine risks or trade-offs involved in what proponents call gender-affirming care.

Powell’s story shows how easy it is for young people to get caught up by the pull of ideology in this atmosphere.

“What should be a medical and psychological issue has been morphed into a political one,” Powell lamented during our conversation. “It’s a mess.”

A New and Growing Group of Patients

Many transgender adults are happy with their transitions and, whether they began to transition as adults or adolescents, feel it was life changing, even lifesaving. The small but rapidly growing number of children who express gender dysphoria and who transition at an early age, according to clinicians, is a recent and more controversial phenomenon.

Laura Edwards-Leeper, the founding psychologist of the first pediatric gender clinic in the United States, said that when she started her practice in 2007, most of her patients had longstanding and deep-seated gender dysphoria. Transitioning clearly made sense for almost all of them, and any mental health issues they had were generally resolved through gender transition.

“But that is just not the case anymore,” she told me recently. While she doesn’t regret transitioning the earlier cohort of patients and opposes government bans on transgender medical care, she said, “As far as I can tell, there are no professional organizations who are stepping in to regulate what’s going on.”

Most of her patients now, she said, have no history of childhood gender dysphoria. Others refer to this phenomenon, with some controversy, as rapid onset gender dysphoria, in which adolescents, particularly tween and teenage girls, express gender dysphoria despite never having done so when they were younger. Frequently, they have mental health issues unrelated to gender. While professional associations say there is a lack of quality research on rapid onset gender dysphoria, several researchers have documented the phenomenon, and many health care providers have seen evidence of it in their practices.

“The population has changed drastically,” said Edwards-Leeper, a former head of the Child and Adolescent Committee for the World Professional Association for Transgender Health, the organization responsible for setting gender transition guidelines for medical professionals.

For these young people, she told me, “you have to take time to really assess what’s going on and hear the timeline and get the parents’ perspective in order to create an individualized treatment plan. Many providers are completely missing that step.”

Yet those health care professionals and scientists who do not think clinicians should automatically agree to a young person’s self-diagnosis are often afraid to speak out. A report commissioned by the National Health Service about Britain’s Tavistock gender clinic, which, until it was ordered to be shut down, was the country’s only health center dedicated to gender identity, noted that “primary and secondary care staff have told us that they feel under pressure to adopt an unquestioning affirmative approach and that this is at odds with the standard process of clinical assessment and diagnosis that they have been trained to undertake in all other clinical encounters.”

Of the dozens of students she’s trained as psychologists, Edwards-Leeper said, few still seem to be providing gender-related care. While her students have left the field for various reasons, “some have told me that they didn’t feel they could continue because of the pushback, the accusations of being transphobic, from being pro-assessment and wanting a more thorough process,” she said.

They have good reasons to be wary. Stephanie Winn, a licensed marriage and family therapist in Oregon, was trained in gender-affirming care and treated multiple transgender patients. But in 2020, after coming across detransition videos online, she began to doubt the gender-affirming model. In 2021 she spoke out in favor of approaching gender dysphoria in a more considered way, urging others in the field to pay attention to detransitioners, people who no longer consider themselves transgender after undergoing medical or surgical interventions. She has since been attacked by transgender activists. Some threatened to send complaints to her licensing board saying that she was trying to make trans kids change their minds through conversion therapy.

In April 2022, the Oregon Board of Licensed Professional Counselors and Therapists told Winn that she was under investigation. Her case was ultimately dismissed, but Winn no longer treats minors and practices only online, where many of her patients are worried parents of trans-identifying children.

“I don’t feel safe having a location where people can find me,” she said.

Detransitioners say that only conservative media outlets seem interested in telling their stories, which has left them open to attacks as hapless tools of the right, something that frustrated and dismayed every detransitioner I interviewed. These are people who were once the trans-identified kids that so many organizations say they’re trying to protect — but when they change their minds, they say, they feel abandoned.

Most parents and clinicians are simply trying to do what they think is best for the children involved. But parents with qualms about the current model of care are frustrated by what they see as a lack of options.

Parents told me it was a struggle to balance the desire to compassionately support a child with gender dysphoria while seeking the best psychological and medical care. Many believed their kids were gay or dealing with an array of complicated issues. But all said they felt compelled by gender clinicians, doctors, schools and social pressure to accede to their child’s declared gender identity even if they had serious doubts. They feared it would tear apart their family if they didn’t unquestioningly support social transition and medical treatment. All asked to speak anonymously, so desperate were they to maintain or repair any relationship with their children, some of whom were currently estranged.

Several of those who questioned their child’s self-diagnosis told me it had ruined their relationship. A few parents said simply, “I feel like I’ve lost my daughter.”

One mother described a meeting with 12 other parents in a support group for relatives of trans-identified youth where all of the participants described their children as autistic or otherwise neurodivergent. To all questions, the woman running the meeting replied, “Just let them transition.” The mother left in shock. How would hormones help a child with obsessive-compulsive disorder or depression? she wondered.

Some parents have found refuge in anonymous online support groups. There, people share tips on finding caregivers who will explore the causes of their children’s distress or tend to their overall emotional and developmental health and well-being without automatically acceding to their children’s self-diagnosis.

Many parents of kids who consider themselves trans say their children were introduced to transgender influencers on YouTube or TikTok, a phenomenon intensified for some by the isolation and online cocoon of Covid. Others say their kids learned these ideas in the classroom, as early as elementary school, often in child-friendly ways through curriculums supplied by trans rights organizations, with concepts like the gender unicorn or the Genderbread person.

‘Do You Want a Dead Son or a Live Daughter?’

After Kathleen’s 15-year-old son, whom she described as an obsessive child, abruptly told his parents he was trans, the doctor who was going to assess whether he had A.D.H.D. referred him instead to someone who specialized in both A.D.H.D. and gender. Kathleen, who asked to be identified only by her first name to protect her son’s privacy, assumed that the specialist would do some kind of evaluation or assessment. That was not the case.

The meeting was brief and began on a shocking note. “In front of my son, the therapist said, ‘Do you want a dead son or a live daughter?’” Kathleen recounted.

Parents are routinely warned that to pursue any path outside of agreeing with a child’s self-declared gender identity is to put a gender dysphoric youth at risk for suicide, which feels to many people like emotional blackmail. Proponents of the gender-affirming model have cited studies showing an association between that standard of care and a lower risk of suicide. But those studies were found to have methodological flaws or have been deemed not entirely conclusive. A survey of studies on the psychological effects of cross-sex hormones, published three years ago in The Journal of the Endocrine Society, the professional organization for hormone specialists, found it “could not draw any conclusions about death by suicide.” In a letter to The Wall Street Journal last year, 21 experts from nine countries said that survey was one reason they believed there was “no reliable evidence to suggest that hormonal transition is an effective suicide prevention measure.”

Moreover, the incidence of suicidal thoughts and attempts among gender dysphoric youth is complicated by the high incidence of accompanying conditions, such as autism spectrum disorder. As one systematic overview put it, “Children with gender dysphoria often experience a range of psychiatric comorbidities, with a high prevalence of mood and anxiety disorders, trauma, eating disorders and autism spectrum conditions, suicidality and self-harm.”

But rather than being treated as patients who deserve unbiased professional help, children with gender dysphoria often become political pawns.

Conservative lawmakers are working to ban access to gender care for minors and occasionally for adults as well. On the other side, however, many medical and mental health practitioners feel their hands have been tied by activist pressure and organizational capture. They say that it has become difficult to practice responsible mental health care or medicine for these young people.

Pediatricians, psychologists and other clinicians who dissent from this orthodoxy, believing that it is not based on reliable evidence, feel frustrated by their professional organizations. The American Psychological Association, American Psychiatric Association and the American Academy of Pediatrics have wholeheartedly backed the gender-affirming model.

In 2021, Aaron Kimberly, a 50-year-old trans man and registered nurse, left the clinic in British Columbia where his job focused on the intake and assessment of gender-dysphoric youth. Kimberly received a comprehensive screening when he embarked on his own successful transition at age 33, which resolved the gender dysphoria he experienced from an early age.

But when the gender-affirming model was introduced at his clinic, he was instructed to support the initiation of hormone treatment for incoming patients regardless of whether they had complex mental problems, experiences with trauma or were otherwise “severely unwell,” Kimberly said. When he referred patients for further mental health care rather than immediate hormone treatment, he said he was accused of what they called gatekeeping and had to change jobs.

“I realized something had gone totally off the rails,” Kimberly, who subsequently founded the Gender Dysphoria Alliance and the L.G.B.T. Courage Coalition to advocate better gender care, told me.

Gay men and women often told me they fear that same-sex-attracted kids, especially effeminate boys and tomboy girls who are gender nonconforming, will be transitioned during a normal phase of childhood and before sexual maturation — and that gender ideology can mask and even abet homophobia.

As one detransitioned man, now in a gay relationship, put it, “I was a gay man pumped up to look like a woman and dated a lesbian who was pumped up to look like a man. If that’s not conversion therapy, I don’t know what is.”

“I transitioned because I didn’t want to be gay,” Kasey Emerick, a 23-year-old woman and detransitioner from Pennsylvania, told me. Raised in a conservative Christian church, she said, “I believed homosexuality was a sin.”

When she was 15, Emerick confessed her homosexuality to her mother. Her mother attributed her sexual orientation to trauma — Emerick’s father was convicted of raping and assaulting her repeatedly when she was between the ages of 4 and 7 — but after catching Emerick texting with another girl at age 16, she took away her phone. When Emerick melted down, her mother admitted her to a psychiatric hospital. While there, Emerick told herself, “If I was a boy, none of this would have happened.”

In May 2017, Emerick began searching “gender” online and encountered trans advocacy websites. After realizing she could “pick the other side,” she told her mother, “I’m sick of being called a dyke and not a real girl.” If she were a man, she’d be free to pursue relationships with women.

That September, she and her mother met with a licensed professional counselor for the first of two 90-minute consultations. She told the counselor that she had wished to be a Boy Scout rather than a Girl Scout. She said she didn’t like being gay or a butch lesbian. She also told the counselor that she had suffered from anxiety, depression and suicidal ideation. The clinic recommended testosterone, which was prescribed by a nearby L.G.B.T.Q. health clinic. Shortly thereafter, she was also diagnosed with A.D.H.D. She developed panic attacks. At age 17, she was cleared for a double mastectomy.

“I’m thinking, ‘Oh my God, I’m having my breasts removed. I’m 17. I’m too young for this,’” she recalled. But she went ahead with the operation.

“Transition felt like a way to control something when I couldn’t control anything in my life,” Emerick explained. But after living as a trans man for five years, Emerick realized her mental health symptoms were only getting worse. In the fall of 2022, she came out as a detransitioner on Twitter and was immediately attacked. Transgender influencers told her she was bald and ugly. She received multiple threats.

“I thought my life was over,” she said. “I realized that I had lived a lie for over five years.”

Today Emerick’s voice, permanently altered by testosterone, is that of a man. When she tells people she’s a detransitioner, they ask when she plans to stop taking T and live as a woman. “I’ve been off it for a year,” she replies.

Once, after she recounted her story to a therapist, the therapist tried to reassure her. If it’s any consolation, the therapist remarked, “I would never have guessed that you were once a trans woman.” Emerick replied, “Wait, what sex do you think I am?”

To the trans activist dictum that children know their gender best, it is important to add something all parents know from experience: Children change their minds all the time. One mother told me that after her teenage son desisted — pulled back from a trans identity before any irreversible medical procedures — he explained, “I was just rebelling. I look at it like a subculture, like being goth.”

“The job of children and adolescents is to experiment and explore where they fit into the world, and a big part of that exploration, especially during adolescence, is around their sense of identity,” Sasha Ayad, a licensed professional counselor based in Phoenix, told me. “Children at that age often present with a great deal of certainty and urgency about who they believe they are at the time and things they would like to do in order to enact that sense of identity.”

Ayad, a co-author of “When Kids Say They’re Trans: A Guide for Thoughtful Parents,” advises parents to be wary of the gender affirmation model. “We’ve always known that adolescents are particularly malleable in relationship to their peers and their social context and that exploration is often an attempt to navigate difficulties of that stage, such as puberty, coming to terms with the responsibilities and complications of young adulthood, romance and solidifying their sexual orientation,” she told me. For providing this kind of exploratory approach in her own practice with gender dysphoric youth, Ayad has had her license challenged twice, both times by adults who were not her patients. Both times, the charges were dismissed.

Studies show that around eight in 10 cases of childhood gender dysphoria resolve themselves by puberty and 30 percent of people on hormone therapy discontinue its use within four years, though the effects, including infertility, are often irreversible.

Proponents of early social transition and medical interventions for gender dysphoric youth cite a 2022 study showing that 98 percent of children who took both puberty blockers and cross-sex hormones continued treatment for short periods, and another study that tracked 317 children who socially transitioned between the ages of 3 and 12, which found that 94 percent of them still identified as transgender five years later. But such early interventions may cement children’s self-conceptions without giving them time to think or sexually mature.

‘The Process of Transition Didn’t Make Me Feel Better’

At the end of her freshman year of college, Grace Powell, horrifically depressed, began dissociating, feeling detached from her body and from reality, which had never happened to her before. Ultimately, she said, “the process of transition didn’t make me feel better. It magnified what I found was wrong with myself.”

“I expected it to change everything, but I was just me, with a slightly deeper voice,” she added. “It took me two years to start detransitioning and living as Grace again.”

She tried in vain to find a therapist who would treat her underlying issues, but they kept asking her: How do you want to be seen? Do you want to be nonbinary? Powell wanted to talk about her trauma, not her identity or her gender presentation. She ended up getting online therapy from a former employee of the Tavistock clinic in Britain. This therapist, a woman who has broken from the gender-affirming model, talked Grace through what she sees as her failure to launch and her efforts to reset. The therapist asked questions like: Who is Grace? What do you want from your life? For the first time, Powell felt someone was seeing and helping her as a person, not simply looking to slot her into an identity category.

Many detransitioners say they face ostracism and silencing because of the toxic politics around transgender issues.

“It is extraordinarily frustrating to feel that something I am is inherently political,” Powell told me. “I’ve been accused multiple times that I’m some right-winger who’s making a fake narrative to discredit transgender people, which is just crazy.”

While she believes there are people who benefit from transitioning, “I wish more people would understand that there’s not a one-size-fits-all solution,” she said. “I wish we could have that conversation.”

In a recent study in The Archives of Sexual Behavior, about 40 young detransitioners out of 78 surveyed said they had suffered from rapid onset gender dysphoria. Trans activists have fought hard to suppress any discussion of rapid onset gender dysphoria, despite evidence that the condition is real. In its guide for journalists, the activist organization GLAAD warns the media against using the term, as it is not “a formal condition or diagnosis.” Human Rights Campaign, another activist group, calls it “a right-wing theory.” A group of professional organizations put out a statement urging clinicians to eliminate the term from use.

Nobody knows how many young people desist after social, medical or surgical transitions. Trans activists often cite low regret rates for gender transition, along with low figures for detransition. But those studies, which often rely on self-reported cases to gender clinics, likely understate the actual numbers. None of the seven detransitioners I interviewed, for instance, even considered reporting back to the gender clinics that prescribed them medication they now consider to have been a mistake. Nor did they know any other detransitioners who had done so.

As Americans furiously debate the basis of transgender care, a number of advances in understanding have taken place in Europe, where the early Dutch studies that became the underpinning of gender-affirming care have been broadly questioned and criticized. Unlike some of the current population of gender dysphoric youth, the Dutch study participants had no serious psychological conditions. Those studies were riddled with methodological flaws and weaknesses. There was no evidence that any intervention was lifesaving. There was no long-term follow-up with any of the study’s 55 participants or the 15 who dropped out. A British effort to replicate the study said that it “identified no changes in psychological function” and that more studies were needed.

In countries like Sweden, Norway, France, the Netherlands and Britain — long considered exemplars of gender progress — medical professionals have recognized that early research on medical interventions for childhood gender dysphoria was either faulty or incomplete. Last month, the World Health Organization, in explaining why it is developing “a guideline on the health of trans and gender diverse people,” said it will cover only adults because “the evidence base for children and adolescents is limited and variable regarding the longer-term outcomes of gender-affirming care for children and adolescents.”

But in America, and Canada, the results of those widely criticized Dutch studies are falsely presented to the public as settled science.

Other countries have recently halted or limited the medical and surgical treatment of gender dysphoric youth, pending further study. Britain’s Tavistock clinic was ordered to be shut down next month, after a National Health Service-commissioned investigation found deficiencies in service and “a lack of consensus and open discussion about the nature of gender dysphoria and therefore about the appropriate clinical response.”

Meanwhile, the American medical establishment has hunkered down, stuck in an outdated model of gender affirmation. The American Academy of Pediatrics only recently agreed to conduct more research in response to yearslong efforts by dissenting experts, including Dr. Julia Mason, a self-described “bleeding-heart liberal.”

The larger threat to transgender people comes from Republicans who wish to deny them rights and protections. But the doctrinal rigidity of the progressive wing of the Democratic Party is disappointing, frustrating and counterproductive.

“I was always a liberal Democrat,” one woman whose son desisted after social transition and hormone therapy told me. “Now I feel politically homeless.”

She noted that the Biden administration has “unequivocally” supported gender-affirming care for minors, in cases in which it deems it “medically appropriate and necessary.” Rachel Levine, the assistant secretary for health at the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services, told NPR in 2022 that “there is no argument among medical professionals — pediatricians, pediatric endocrinologists, adolescent medicine physicians, adolescent psychiatrists, psychologists, et cetera — about the value and the importance of gender-affirming care.”

Of course, politics should not influence medical practice, whether the issue is birth control, abortion or gender medicine. But unfortunately, politics has gotten in the way of progress. Last year The Economist published a thorough investigation into America’s approach to gender medicine. Zanny Minton Beddoes, the editor, put the issue into political context. “If you look internationally at countries in Europe, the U.K. included, their medical establishments are much more concerned,” Beddoes told Vanity Fair. “But here — in part because this has become wrapped up in the culture wars where you have, you know, crazy extremes from the Republican right — if you want to be an upstanding liberal, you feel like you can’t say anything.”

Some people are trying to open up that dialogue, or at least provide outlets for kids and families to seek a more therapeutic approach to gender dysphoria.

Paul Garcia-Ryan is a psychotherapist in New York who cares for kids and families seeking holistic, exploratory care for gender dysphoria. He is also a detransitioner who from ages 15 to 30 fully believed he was a woman.

Garcia-Ryan is gay, but as a boy, he said, “it was much less threatening to my psyche to think that I was a straight girl born into the wrong body — that I had a medical condition that could be tended to.” When he visited a clinic at 15, the clinician immediately affirmed he was female, and rather than explore the reasons for his mental distress, simply confirmed Garcia-Ryan’s belief that he was not meant to be a man.

Once in college, he began medically transitioning and eventually had surgery on his genitals. Severe medical complications from both the surgery and hormone medication led him to reconsider what he had done, and to detransition. He also reconsidered the basis of gender affirmation, which, as a licensed clinical social worker at a gender clinic, he had been trained in and provided to clients.

“You’re made to believe these slogans,” he said. “Evidence-based, lifesaving care, safe and effective, medically necessary, the science is settled — and none of that is evidence based.”

Garcia-Ryan, 32, is now the board president of Therapy First, an organization that supports therapists who do not agree with the gender affirmation model. He thinks transition can help some people manage the symptoms of gender dysphoria but no longer believes anyone under 25 should socially, medically or surgically transition without exploratory psychotherapy first.

“When a professional affirms a gender identity for a younger person, what they are doing is implementing a psychological intervention that narrows a person’s sense of self and closes off their options for considering what’s possible for them,” Garcia-Ryan told me.

Instead of promoting unproven treatments for children, which surveys show many Americans are uncomfortable with, transgender activists would be more effective if they focused on a shared agenda. Most Americans across the political spectrum can agree on the need for legal protections for transgender adults. They would also probably support additional research on the needs of young people reporting gender dysphoria so that kids could get the best treatment possible.

A shift in this direction would model tolerance and acceptance. It would prioritize compassion over demonization. It would require rising above culture-war politics and returning to reason. It would be the most humane path forward. And it would be the right thing to do.

*~*~*~*~*~*

For those who want tor ead more by those fighting the cancellation forquestioning, read:

Graham Lineham, who's been fighting since the beginning and paid the price, but is not seeing things turn around.

The Glinner Update, Grahan Linehan's Substack.

Kellie-Jay Keen @ThePosieParker, who's been physically attacked for organizing events for women demanding women-only spaces.

REDUXX, Feminst news & opinion.

Gays Against Groomers @againstgrmrs, A nonprofit of gay people and others within the community against the sexualization, indoctrination and medicalization of children under the guise of "LGBTQIA+"

[astr0logywh0r3]

astro observations pt. 2

1.) venus square mars ppl have trouble with balancing their masculine and feminine energies. they can feel this internally and it can make them feel insecure. one second they feel hyper feminine and the next they feel more masculine. they wish they could find a way to balance both sides of them but it’s a struggle. they could come off too strong from time to time as a result of their inner conflict (might come off too strongly feminine or masc in the moment) and then they’d feel bad ab it later

2.) i think neptune in the 1st/conjunct the asc might be good at making other people feel special 🤨

3.) mars-pluto ppl have that confident inner power within themselves

4.) cancer risings remind me of fluttershy from mlp 💀

5.) saturn conjunct asc/in 1st house might have been extremely shy kids. they have a lot of determination within themselves though. makes a very strong-willed person. go after what they want with resilience and understand the importance of taking calculated steps to achieve their desires. definitely the no-bullshit type

6.) pluto on the ascendant always reminds me of tony montana from scarface for some reason 😭. i guess it makes sense since al pacino has pluto conjunct his asc so idk. it’s just that archetype. tony wasn’t afraid and didn’t stop at anything to reach where he got. a phoenix risen from the ashes. stubborn. that “don’t tell me what tf to do” type energy. intense, babe. their eyes are crazy too (it’s like they store all their inner intensity and deep emotions in their eyes ..lotta depth). also the no-bullshit type. if they’re mad at you ……be afraid 💀 they will plot revenge and start conspiring some shit

7.) taurus risings are pretty in a “oh, they’re cute” way. they have short little noses and pretty eyes

8.) pisces risings… are y’all good at telling stories? 😭 i think you guys get a little sidetracked

9.) chart ruler in the 9th makes someone adventurous… they just wanna explore and do everything. try everything there is at least once. could have a great sense of humor too

10.) scorpio moons are really protective of their family. they guard their families just like they guard their emotions

11.) unpopular opinion but scorpios aren’t mysterious to me 😐 i’m not sure id call any zodiac sign mysterious tbh it really depends on the whole chart. scorpios to me are just super honest people who have pragmatic opinions that they aren’t afraid to state out loud. if a scorpio has an opinion they feel strongly about they won’t be afraid to let others know how they feel, which i admire about them to an extent. they like getting to the nitty gritty of situations. some of them can actually be very kind people. funny as well due to their honesty and boldness. oh, and they just love dark reds. search up “maroon” and that is literally their staple color you cannot tell me otherwise

12.) i’ve met leos who i’ve found boring before which goes against their stereotype 💀 sometimes their personalities are just the bare minimum honestly unless the rest of the chart says otherwise

13.) mars in the 11th have big dreams for themselves. they wanna make a difference.

14.) 8th house sun makes someone intriguing and mysterious. it can also be a placement that grants beauty.

15.) moon in the 4th just wanna belong.

[miaoua3]

Can we please get a Vernon head cannon… I struggle to find them on here but your svt ones are just amazing :))

hi! sure you can, and thank you so much for saying that, hope you enjoy this!

Vernon Boyfriend Headcanons:

•(sfw! hcs):

we all know that he is mostly silent throughout the day, but i truly believe that vernon would NOT be able to shut up with his significant other, he would be talking 24/7 to you, be prepared to hear about his day from the moment he woke up to the moment he came through the door of your apartment

throughout your relationship, you notice that your boyfriend has a problem. a very big and potentially dangerous problem. and that is that he brings all sorts of animals home. it started on one rainy night, he was supposed to be home 20 minutes ago but he was nowhere to be seen or heard. just as you were about to call him for the nth time, he came in through the door, drenched from head to toe from the heavy rain. and with three kittens in his arms. he didn’t even try to make any excuses, he just proceeded to say “i found them behind the dumpster two blocks away.”

we all know that he sleeps like a corpse, so naturally he wouldn’t cuddle you back while he’s asleep, but before that he definitely won’t let you out of his arms. he’s either talking your ear off or is casually scrolling through his phone. to be honest, it doesn’t matter what he’s doing, as long as you are in his arms he considers it time well spent. and just because he doesn’t cuddle you back during his sleep doesn’t mean you can’t do what you will lol, you can lie on him, hug him tightly and throw your leg over his stomach, he won’t care-but he also he won’t reciprocate it either because my man is just like this🧍

constantly shows you something on his phone, doesn’t matter what you are doing, you will just see his hand appear in front of your face before you even hear him say “babe look at this”, be it a meme or a cute cat video, he just wants you to see everything that he does too so you can enjoy it too

speaking off, kinda unpopular opinion but vernon definitely calls you babe or a nickname based on your name, i don’t really see him only calling you bro or dude like most claim he would do, i just don’t think he would go that overboard on cute nicknames either, but something small and cute just to signify both to himself and you, as well as to people around you that you two are together, and at the end of the day that would be a small way of him showing his love and affectionate for you

if you have a niece, count on vernon to ask you every other week with sparkly eyes if you can go and visit them, he just loves your niece so much even though he doesn’t really know how to play with her, he still loves her so much. even if he has to sit on a little pink chair with a tiara on his head while drinking ‘tea’ from a little pink cup, he doesn’t mind, as long as he gets to read her bed time stories when she goes to bed, he’s okay with it all❤️

i feel like everyone has already said this but vernon definitely has a big thing for showing you and sharing to you his love for music and movies. from making you new playlists with new songs he heard (and that remind him of you), to having a dedicated day of the week for movie nights, he just wants to have somebody that he can talk to about his favourite things so pls make sure to pay close attention to what he’s showing you :(

•(nsfw! hcs):

vernon strikes me as a man who wouldn’t have that high of a sex drive, but when he’s in a mood, count on the fact that you will be doing it for hours to no end and that you won’t be able to walk the next day. he will bend you in positions you didn’t even know you could be bent into, he will try out all the paces until he finds one that you enjoy the most that night. sex with vernon would never feel like chore but rather like a brand new and beautiful experience every single time

he actually gets really nervous before going on stage, so he always drags you into the nearest corner for a quickie or to eat you out or to have you suck his dick, for him it’s a great way to get all that pent up energy out (plus seeing you on your knees, with teary eyes as you struggle to wrap your mouth around his thick cock is something he can think about while on stage as a way to pass the time-)

if you ever thought that this man had a stone face and that he’s expressionless most of the time, that would change the very first time he fucked you-his eyebrows furrowed in pleasure, his mouth opened as moans keep on spilling from his mouth, droplets of sweat sliding down his temple, a few landing onto you due to him hovering above you-yeah, let’s just say that he makes the prettiest faces and noises ever

prefers it when you ride him, especially after a hard day at work, there’s nothing he loves more than leaning on the backrest of the couch and letting you take care of him, as well as letting your wet pussy swallow him whole, he would just lay there with his eyes closed and let you do whatever you think he would enjoy-sucking on his neck, scratching his chest with your nails, whispering sweet and encouraging words in his ears- let’s just say that this is top 3 best feelings he could ever feel

has a thing for both biting and being bitten, just something about the sensation you feel when you’re being bitten is so hot to him-imagine feeling so good and so much pleasure that the only thing to stop from screaming and letting the whole world know how good you’re feeling is to bite his shoulder, it makes his brain go ckslcnsnqjqh

for some reason finds himself always fucking you in the most unusual places-on top of the kitchen counter, in the bathtub, behind some restaurant that is secluded enough but also not enough, on dino’s couch??? when he wasn’t even in his apartment??? he just…fucks you when he gets in the mood, no matter the time, place or the occasion

you can’t even dare to say to me that he doesn’t have a thing for cream pies, just the sight of his cum dripping from inside you, your pussy clenching around nothing before he pushes his cock back inside along with the cum that was just about to drip out-let’s just say every thought from his head (if he had any left due to the feeling of your pussy clenching around his dick) evaporates, only thing he can focus on is you and how good his cum looks like coating your lower lips i- i need him i fear

[ryunumber]

Spooky from Spookys House Of Jumpscares/Spookys Jumpscare Mansion

Spooky has a Ryu Number of 5/4/does not have a Ryu Number.

(update and explanation below)

(UPDATE: Per @penndragon, Cross Impact has hit Early Access.)

(UPDATE 2: Per @mr-self-suck-by-nin, confirmation of the Cooking Companions protagonist identity gives Spooky an unambiguous Ryu Number of 4.)

Look, it's complicated. Things will be more concrete when Cross Impact hits Early Access.

Fair warning: this explanation is a bit more involved than normal, because the research hole this sent me down had me sincerely doubting my own base competence.

So, from the top: Spooky's only eligible appearance is in her own game, Spooky's Jump Scare Mansion née House of Jump Scares, as her only other appearance, period, seems to be as a trophy in Indie Pogo.

Naturally, this makes SJSM's specimens as the only connecting points. I've identified three that could work:

Unknown Specimen 1 is just White Face from IMSCARED.

This seems to be a dead end, as White Face's only other eligible appearance seems to be in the Nightmare Mode of Cooking Companions, as part of a menagerie of other horror game characters, including SJSM's own Specimen 6. But all of those also seem to be dead ends, and Specimen 6 just gets back to where we started, so that's probably no good.

How about Unknown Specimen 5?

Named Lisa. Sure looks quite a bit like Lisa from P.T. and once-prospective Silent Hills. Let's say it's that Lisa. What else has Lisa been in?

Apparently just P.T., which wouldn't be altogether unsurprising given, you know, all that happened with Silent Hills. Even the Lisa decoys for Metal Gear Solid V showcased in the Tokyo Game Show 2014 trailer didn't make it to the final game.

But there are still other P.T. references that did make it. Namely, that pleasant radio transmission, interruptions and all, can be heard from some radios in MGSV.

Now, given that audio-only appearances are broadly eligible, you could make a case that whoever's reading in this transmission is a character themself, which would in turn connect Lisa to The Phantom Pain, at which point calculating the Ryu Number is just a matter of hashing out who exactly is and is not in MGSV. The only issue I have with making this connection is that the audio is basically reused wholesale from P.T., which arguably makes it more in line with an archival recording, which is not eligible, than bespoke radio chatter, which is eligible, but hey, whatever, I've peddled dodgier. Why the hell not.

So in the search of a route with less caveats, let's consider what I've identified as the last possible eligible connection, Specimen 8. This cervine bundle of fun can be seen in Lost in Vivo as part of Lost Tape 3.

It turns out there's another character in Lost in Vivo who's been in something else: Sotiris. It also turns out that the "something else" in question is, uh,

the EEK3 2020 Virtual Show Floor. Which, to the best of my knowledge, is never referred to as a game, so if that matters to you, then we're done, and Spooky either has the aforementioned route through Lisa or nothing.

If you're willing to say that the virtual show floor is a game, which does not seem to be an unpopular opinion, then good news! There's a clear path to Ryu. You just have to go through Skully, who cameos in Toree 3D,

to the titular Toree, who's a guest character in Lunistice,

to Kit, the main character of Lunistice, who cameos in CrossCode,

to Lea, whose Ryu Number of 2 is already established, which gives Spooky a final Ryu Number of I'm sorry, I'm being handed a note.

Oh. Well fuck me, then, for not considering that the realities of game development could lead to a scenario wherein a character from an in-progress game could make cameo appearances in other games, only to be scrapped entirely before their would-be source game is released. Clearly, this is what the kids refer to as a "skill issue".

And the best part? This chain is so long that I'm genuinely expecting to have overlooked something really obvious that gives a shorter number, because the documentation I found on indie-ass indie horror game crossovers is spotty. So if you have any information that could shorten this more substantial than "White Face is graffiti in the full release of FAITH", send it my way. I'd rather be definitely wrong than dubiously correct.

Anyway, Toree's set to be playable in Cross Impact, so when that's released to the wider public most of this nonsense I just spewed at you will actually come into play. Until then, make of all of this what you will. If you'll excuse me, I need to go fucking distort.

[wishful-thinking64]

One Hell of an Unpopular Opinion #03

Characters like Barbie Wire, Chaz, Crimson, Octavia, and Stella only exist as plot devices to garner sympathy for other characters. _______ I knew fully well that Chaz and Crimson were going to merely be plot devices for Moxxie the more I watched Exes & Oohs. And sure enough, Chaz was killed at the end of that very episode and Crimson is yet another wacky cartoon villain that the narrative expects for you to take seriously. Both of these characters existed so that the audience could gain sympathy (or at least pity) for Moxxie being raised in a Mafia family and having been abused as a child along with being betrayed by his ex-boyfriend (who also happened to be Millie's ex-boyfriend for some reason.) Other than Moxxie's Mafia family upbringing making zero sense the more you think about it, Viv has basically done this exact backstory before in the form of Angel Dust (with the whole mobster backstory who was also abused by his father.) However, the Exes & Oohs episode and title actually stems from one of the HH mockup episodes that was originally about Charlie and Vaggie coming across Charlie's ex, Seviathan (yes, that's what Viv named him), and his sister, Helsa, while they were at a dinner party.

Now, do I think Chaz and Crimson could've had the potential to be good characters? In all honesty, no. Especially not Chaz. The guy is a harmful stereotype of pansexual people and how, "They'll sleep with anyone," which no, they won't. I'm not pansexual myself but that thought process is as gross as it is fucking stupid. The only person who I've seen even re-writing Chaz has been Loves Art23 (I mainly know her for YouTube videos being critical on Hazbin Hotel + Helluva Boss along with other shows like the disaster known as High Guardian Spice) and I think she's done a fairly good job so kudos to her for making him work. Personally, though I'm scrapping him as that gives me one less character to worry about when re-writing HB. Crimson would have to be heavily and I mean HEAVILY reworked/re-written in order for him to make any actual sense. That and I'm tired of every character having some variation of the same daddy issues in the Hellaverse. Which means he's also gonna get axed from me. Moving onto the ladies I mentioned, let's start off with Barbie Wire.

Having been foreshadowed since the pilot of I.M.P. (as seen when Tilla was still Barb's and Blitzo's older sister rather than their mother) Barbie Wire was an anticipated character by fans for years! And then her actual appearance finally happened in Unhappy Campers, an episode hated by practically everyone who saw it, and no one really cared about her showing up, other than the fact that the writers thought that having her seduce a BARELY legal adult would make for a good joke, when in reality, it only made everybody uncomfortable and several people dislike Barbie because of it. Sure, near the end of the episode she had that "emotional" scene with Blitzo that wants the viewers to feel bad for him and Barbie before she left but in the long run it didn't matter as fans barely even talk about it because of how uneventful it truly was. So, with that out of the way, would I keep Barbie Wire around for a rewrite of HB? To that I say, yes! There are several paths Barbie Wire's overall character could go in. If you're mainly sticking to canon, then what you have to work with is a former circus performer who lost her mother in a fire caused by her twin brother that left his own best friend to rot and be disabled for the rest of his life. It's very likely that this very fire, caused her to be out of a job and probably even homeless for a bit which could explain why she ended up becoming both a drug attic and a drug dealer. Homelessness is one of the few things that nobody wants to experience. It causes people to be filled with a sense of overwhelming loneliness and desperation as many of them either believe that there's nothing they can do or they do anything and everything that they can to get out of it even if that means resorting to crime. If you wanted to have her be loosely based on canon instead, you could make it to where she never learned about who started the fire and actually stuck with Blitzo well into adulthood. Have her become one of the members of I.M.P. and later down the line have her learn through someone like Fizz or maybe Cash (her and Blitzo's father) what actually went down that day. Have her be rightfully pissed off at Blitzo for screwing over multiple people along with being the one responsible for killing their mom. Anyway, let's proceed onto Stella and her daughter Octavia.

As much as the narrative wants me to hate Stella with a burning passion cause she hurts Stolas, I can't do it for multiple reasons but I'll list my top three. #01.) Stella's just as (if not even more so) stuck in this arranged loveless marriage as Stolas is. #02.) If the man I had no choice in marrying not only cheated on me with a man from one of the lowest classes in all of Hell but IN OUR OWN HOME & SHARED BEDROOM NO LESS? OH, FUCK NO!

#03.) This woman had to spend 9 months having to nourish and care for a baby inside her stomach that she had with a man that didn't even want to sleep with her. On top of that, she had to have become pregnant with Octavia when she was a young adult since current day Stolas and Stella are only in their mid 30s. I need you to let that information sink in.

In short, I can't hate Stella for loathing Viv's pathetic self insert bird twink with every fiber of her being.

Having said that, would I have Stella in my HB rewrite? Well, considering that I plan on keeping the war that happened in the bible that caused Lucifer and several angels to fall from grace, one of which being Stolas. Kind of. Allow me to elaborate, I would keep Stella as Octavia's mother but I wouldn't have her marry Stolas. I'd have her be a surrogate mother that way Stolas still gets an heir and Octavia could still exist. Speaking of Octavia...

We all know that she exists to make Stolas look like a better person as several stans of this show love to say how much of a good dad Stolas is when he isn't. He neglects Octavia frequently in favor of Blitzo and only pays attention to her when she's gone although EVEN THAT doesn't last long as shown in Seeing Stars where HE KNEW Octavia was missing on Earth but rather than ACTIVELY look for his daughter, what does he do? HE SITS THROUGH A STUPID LIVE COMEDY SHOW CAUSE BLITZO IS PERFORMING! HE COMPLETELY SIDELINES HIS OWN DAUGHTER IN FAVOR OF A LIVE COMEDY SHOW!

God, Octavia deserves so much better than to have a dad like him. I'm keeping Octavia for my HB rewrite so that this poor girl not only realizes how much of a bastard her dad is but eventually gets the found family she deserves. I don't plan for it to be through I.M.P. though. In closing, the characters of this show deserve to be better developed but especially the women in them.

_______

That was a long one to get through cause it's been on my mind for a while. Thank you all for reading through it and bye for now everybody!

[sunshine-and-moonshine]

Slasher NSFW headcanons

Requested: No

Characters: Asa Emory, Bo Sinclair, Jesse Cromeans

Warnings: NSFW, Dub-Con

Asa Emory

Favorite Nicknames to call you:

Bug

Junebug

Butterfly

Pet

Favorite Sex Position:

Butterfly

Something a little simple with a twist. Your legs over his shoulders gives him a perfect vantage point to fuck into you just the way he likes. Gripping your thighs and ass, digging his nails into your flesh so hard that it feels like he’ll break the skin. Sometimes he does, and he laves over the cuts with his tongue later.

On his lap

Asa likes the power of having you in his lap, facing him so he can see the mess he makes of you as he moves you up and down on his cock. Likes giving you the illusion of power at first, letting you think you can take the lead, move your own pace, only to rip the rug out from under you as he takes hold of your hips so he can brutalize your insides the way he always enjoys.

Prone

The prone position is a nice one to Asa, the angle allowing him to fuck you with an extra tight squeeze around himself. Might not be so pleasurable for you though if he feels like you’re too squirmy, as he’ll shove your face into a pillow to get you to stay still, not caring if you’re having a difficult time breathing as he fucks into you for his pleasure only.

Kinks:

Voyeurism

There’s something about watching someone else play with what’s his that just gets to Asa. Something about watching their fingers touch you, their mouth, licking you, watching them indulge in your body as you cry from pleasure, writhing beneath their body, your one night stand (and maybe you as well) oblivious to his presence as he strokes his cock to the sight of you both.

Blood Play

Everything about blood arouses Asa. The smell, the feel, the taste. The metallic zing of it sends a shiver down his spine as he licks at the cuts he made all over you, more than a few of them sure to scar, and he’d run his tongue over those pretty marks just as eagerly as if they still dropped the beautiful red liquid. That sign of life and pain that never failed to make his cock hard and his balls ache with need.

Somnophilia

I’ve already talked about Asa liking you pliant and easy to control, and the best way to do that is with you asleep. The ease at which he can slip into you, the softer noises that leave your mouth, the slow movements he makes so as not to wake you. God, it drives him up a wall and sometimes he can’t resist waking you up by forcing himself in a little too soon just to hear you wake up with a scream and feel you tighten up around him.

Bo Sinclair

Favorite Nicknames to call you:

Darlin

Honey

Baby

Sweetheart

Favorite Sex Positions:

Missionary

I think this might be a bit of an unpopular opinion because it’s seen as a very vanilla position but I think that that’s what makes it so appealing to Bo. Something so soft and domestic seeming turned into an act of depravity, spitting on your face as he rams you so hard on his cock that it feels like you’ll break apart.

Doggy

Feel like people will agree with me more on this one. Bo loves taking you from behind, choking you with one hand as the other smacks your thighs and ass, maybe your belly and sides if he’s feeling a bit cruel or just having a bad day. Says you’re acting like a bitch in heat so he’s gonna fuck you like one.

Tabletop

Bo LOVES to fuck you on top of furniture. Pretty much every surface of the house has been sullied by both of your fluids. But his favorite place has to be on the tabletop, your legs around his waist with food burning on the stove, but you can’t even bring yourself to care when he’s pounding away in your hole, gripping his cock like a vice as he growls above you. The ruined food is so worth the price to him.

Favorite Kinks:

Bondage

Something something venting his trauma through sex something something. Watching him tape down that girl was hot. Anyways, Bo loves to have his partner tied down. Completely at his will. What are you going to do if he does something you don’t like? Run away? He’ll spit on your face and just grin when you call him nasty.

Degradation

Praise with Bo is something to be earned, something fought for. Insults however? Oh, those come free of charge. Especially during sex. You’ll lose count of the number of times he’s called you a dumb whore or said you’re no use to anyone but being a tight hole to fuck. Probably can’t even hear it with how hard and deep he’s fucking you.

Oral (Receiving)

Something that requires little to no effort on his part and gives him all the pleasure? You can bet your bottom dollar that Bo’s a real fan. Any relationship with him will probably be about 75% giving him head, and he likes it that way. Likes having you waiting at the door for him on your knees with your mouth already open. Loves you looking up at him with those teary eyes when he chokes you on his dick.

Jesse Cromeans

Favorite Nicknames to call you:

Love

Dear

Pet

Mi Corazon

Favorite Sex Position:

Mating Press

Hmmmm, making press….Jesse likes the closeness of it but not for the reason of intimacy. No, he likes it because being so close to you gives him the perfection view of your tears, the white of your eyes turned red, the back of your throat all swollen and sore from when he had fucked it earlier. And it’s such easy access to you, he loves it.

Face down ass up

A simple but good position, and it encourages his breeding kink. He’ll make you hold your hips up long after he’s done using you and make you tell him how much you want his baby, whether you have the parts for it or not. Maybe plug you up (with a plug that has a curly pig tail attached, I refuse to apologize for my sins)

Spooning

This feels like a more intimate choice for Jesse but I really feel like he enjoys that. In particular, he enjoys the forced intimacy. Slowing his pace, breathing heavy at the back of your neck, fingers sliding sweetly down your sides. He’s only like this when he’s tired or very early in the morning, and only if you’re someone he at least likes.

Favorite Kinks:

Knife Play

Feel like it’s pretty obvious for his character. The knives he uses won’t be play knives, never dulled. In fact they’re the exact knives that he kills with. The same steel that cuts through throats and faces runs along your side, down your chest, leaving just the faintest scratches that he aches to run his tongue over and dig into your flesh just to taste it better.

Breeding Kink

I couldn’t tell you what exactly screams breeding kink about this man….but something is screaming it. He cums in you unprotected and just holds himself inside you, rubs your belly harshly and thinks about it swelling. Doesn’t say anything but he doesn’t have to. Just know that it’s almost always on his mind when he fucks you (internally jokes about breeding you like a prized piggy)

Oral (Giving)

(That one scene in the second movie does unspeakable things to me) Yeah, Jesse really likes to use his tongue. To kiss you and to lick you. Buries his tongue as far into you as it’ll go, licks all along your body sometimes just because of how much he enjoys the feel of using his tongue on you til you’re soaked in his spit.

[clangenrising]

Month 17 - Greenleaf

Goldenstar settled down in the dark, cozy space underneath the twoleg nest. It smelled strongly of Songdust down here, which was comforting, but she could still catch whiffs of Schmidt’s scent - a strange mix of oat and honey laying over his natural musk. The entire place was strange, to be honest. The wood above their heads all laid perfectly flat and straight in rows, sunlight peeking through gaps at regular intervals. Somewhere deeper in, water gurgled and an ever present humm filled the air now that there were no loud sounds to cover it up. It made her fur stand on end. 

She glanced at Scorchplume and pursed her lips in a frown. Her beloved’s gaze was distant and unfocused as she huddled nearby, tail tucked around her paws as if to avoid accidentally touching anything. Even her breath was a little shakier than normal. Goldenstar had no idea what was going on with Scorch but it upset her how suddenly and without warning the behavior had appeared. She knew Scorch wouldn’t want her to pry in front of a city cat though, so she held her tongue. 

“Thanks for speakin’ with me,” Schmidt said once they were all settled. “I s’pose to start, I should ask: how much d’you know about the situation here in the city?” 

“Um,” Goldenstar glanced at Scorchplume who briefly caught her gaze before looking away. “I mostly know about how things were under Razor. I’m sure things have changed since he died though.” 

“‘Changed’ would be puttin’ it kindly,” he said, grim faced. “Since he and Tiger both passed in the battle, there’s been a bit of an argument about who gets to take over.” He winced politely as he said it.

“I see,” Goldenstar hummed. So they had killed the deputy and the leader at once and there was a dispute about succession. When that happened in the Clans, they just went to StarClan and asked the previous leader, but city cats didn’t go anywhere when they died so it wasn’t like that was an option. 

“Who’s currently in charge?” asked Scorchplume and her voice sounded strained. Goldenstar’s frown deepened. 

“Well, Sardine is claimin’ he’s next in line,” said Schimdt. 

“Sardine?” Scorch scoffed, eyes focusing for a moment. “He barely made it into the inner circle.” 

“Exactly,” Schmidt nodded. “But Oreo abdicated to him and there’s no one else with a stronger claim. A few cats have made a bid for the spot but opinion is split. There’s Bella Swan but, as a she-cat, she’s unpopular with a lot of the toms.” Goldenstar twitched her ear at that. City cats were so confusing and stupid. “And there’s Rudy. He’s very popular with the Chaff. Even though he doesn’t have a great case, he has a lot of force to back it up.” 

“Can’t you ask your Folk for an answer?” Goldenstar asked. “I thought they appointed Razor as your leader in the first place.” 

Scorch scoffed again. “The Folk don’t actually talk to cats like that. Razor said that to justify his rule, not because it was true.” Schmidt shuffled uncomfortably but nodded.

“Regardless of your thoughts on the Folk,” he said, “only Portia can really understand their will.” It was Scorch’s turn to shuffle, her lips pursed tight as she held her tongue. Goldenstar frowned. 

“You wanted to discuss this with me for a reason, I’m assuming,” she said. “Is there something you’d like me to do about the situation?” 

“Myself and some other, like minded cats are thinkin’ about rubbin’ our head on the post, so to speak, and I was hopin’ you’d have some advice for us.” 

Goldenstar’s fur bushed ever so slightly. “Me? Why me?” 

“You’re a leader,” Schmidt said, brows furrowing. “You have experience governin’ a large group of cats very effectively. You were able to win both battles that were fought. Surely you must have some knowledge on the topic.” 

Goldenstar swallowed thickly. “I mean… I have some experience,” she said, “but I’ve only been leader for about a year! And I’m not the leader of all of the Clans, there are three other leaders who I collaborated with to accomplish those things.” She felt like there were ants in her pelt. It took all of her effort not to squirm. “And besides, I had StarClan to guide me, I don’t-”

“Goldenstar,” Scorchplume said sharply and she fell silent at once. Scorch was right. This wasn’t the way she ought to present herself to a city cat, as some bumbling girl who had no clue what she was doing. She took a deep breath and tried to think about Scorchplume’s advice on speechcraft before she continued. 

“What I mean to say,” she said, sitting a little taller, “is that my leadership is a collaborative effort. I learn as I lead just like the others learn from me. I’m not sure if I can help you with your ‘politics’. They seem very… cutthroat.” 

“They are,” Schmidt sighed. “I understand. Thanks for listenin’ anyway.” 

“What exactly did you want help with?” Goldenstar asked as sympathy washed over her. “I may not be very useful, but I suppose I can try.” 

“Well, we’d like to get someone in power who cares more about the common cat, about doin’ what’s right,” said Schmidt. “We know now is the best time to make a move, what with the uncertainty about who’s most deserving and what not, but we aren’t sure which cat to rally behind or how to get cats to agree he or she should be in charge.” 

“That sounds like your problem,” Scorchplume said bluntly. “I don’t know how you expected a Clan cat to be able to tell you that but we don’t have the time to stay and figure out what’s going on well enough to solve all your problems for you. We should be leaving, before someone comes to find us.” 

Guilt pooled in the pit of her stomach at Scorch’s harsh words but she could see the reasoning. “I really am sorry,” she said, “but she’s right. We need to go home.” 

“I understand,” Schmidt said again. “Apologies for keepin’ you so long.” 

“That’s alright,” Goldenstar said. “I’m not sure if you’d like my blessings but I hope StarClan lights your path regardless.” 

“Songdust has told me about them,” he said. “I’m most grateful.”

Goldenstar smiled. “And I’m grateful too. Thanks for watching out for her.” 

“Don’t mention it,” he smiled back, a tinge of sadness in his gaze. 

He started back towards the yard but Goldentstar paused for a moment to check on Scorchplume. Her eyes were closed tight, her breathing slow and labored, like she was holding back nausea. Her tail was still curled tightly around her paws but Goldenstar noticed the way her paws were kneading the dirt absently. 

Casting a glance to make sure Schmidt wasn’t watching them, she leaned in and whispered to Scorchplume, “Hey, are you alright? What’s wrong?” 

“I’m fine,” Scorchplume lied, clearly choking out the words. “I just want to get out of here and go home.” 

“Alright,” Goldenstar said softly. “Just… let me know if you need anything, okay?” Scorch twitched an ear in response. Her own stomach churning with unease, Goldenstar slipped back out onto the grass.

“Ready to go?” called Branchbark when he saw them.

“Mhm,” she nodded. “Let’s get back to camp so Songdust can get some rest.” And so Scorchplume will feel better. She ran her eyes over her Clanmates, making sure they were all present and doing well. Songdust seemed forlorn, Branchbark eager to leave. Sparrowsway seemed irritated, his tail twitching at the tip, and Floodstrike was poorly hiding disappointment, although not as poorly as Luna who was pouting dramatically. Lastly, she looked at Scorchplume again, who seemed to be doing better, although Goldenstar noticed the distant look in her eyes, the kind of look that said “let me be anywhere but here.” It hurt to see, especially because she had no idea what had caused it. 

“Do you really have to go?” asked Luna. “Maybe you could stay the night! There’s space in my garden.” 

“No, we should go,” Songdust sighed. “Goodbye, Shepherd.” The big dog howled softly, licking Songdust’s face with his massive tongue. She cringed but stood firm instead of pulling back or being pushed over. 

“I’ll walk you back,” said Jo. “Probably best if the others stay here, though.” 

“Alright,” Schmidt said, tucking his paws neatly under himself as he sat down on the deck. “Safe travels, y’all.” 

“Yeah, safe travels,” pouted Luna. 

“It was nice to meet you both,” Goldenstar said. “You’re both welcome to visit any time.” Schmidt nodded but the smile on his face told her immediately that he didn’t plan on taking her up on her offer. 

“Let’s go,” Songdust said, “I’m looking forward to-” 

“Hold on,” a voice called across the lawn. Scorchplume immediately paled and Floodstrike hissed threateningly. Goldenstar whipped around to see Ghost appearing on the fence behind her. He looked absolutely terrible, his pelt a patchwork of scar flesh and his dark circled eyes sitting underneath two shredded ear stubs. Another cat leapt up beside him, a young she-cat who Goldenstar couldn’t help but think looked like Barleybee wearing Smokyrose’s fur. 

Jo stepped up in front of the warriors, tail arched aggressively and hissed, “Fuck off, Ghost, you no good, piece of shit, dirt bag motherfucker!” Shepherd, feeding off her energy, snarled and barked at the newcomers. Goldenstar’s fur stood on end at the sound of it and she reminded herself, gratefully, that the terrifying beast was on her side. 

Ghost looked less than pleased but not exactly afraid of the threats. “Easy, Jo, I’m just here to talk.” 

Shepherd barked again, “Leave!”

“Yeah right,” Jo laughed. “You running an errand for that fish-faced fuck? Tell him he can choke on grapes, dickhead!” Goldenstar, overwhelmed by the number of strange profanities, barely registered that the old she-cat must have meant Sardine. So Ghost was working for Sardine now. That made sense although Goldenstar couldn’t deny she was disappointed. 

“He’s serious,” the cat beside him said earnestly. “Please, hear him out!” Ghost cast her a look of appreciation before meeting Goldenstar’s eyes.

“I wanted to talk with you, honest,” he said. “About my daughters.” Goldenstar felt another rush of sympathy. 

Floodstrike hissed, “They’re not your daughters, fox heart, they’re Smokyrose’s!” Ghost’s muzzle curled back in a soundless snarl. 

Quickly, Goldenstar stepped forward and said, “Everyone calm down. I want to hear him out.” 

“Goldenstar,” Scorchplume sounded like squeezing her voice out took a great deal of effort. “We need to go.” 

“It’ll just be a second,” said Goldenstar. Bounding forward, she jumped up onto the fence beside Ghost. On his other side, the young grey cat smiled brightly at her and she couldn’t help but return the smile a bit. “What did you need to discuss?”

Ghost sighed and, with one last glance at Jo’s scowl, turned to focus on Goldenstar, saying, “I wanted to make sure that the girls are alright.”

“They are,” she replied softly. “I’m surprised that you wanted to know. If you wanted to see them you could have stopped by.” For the cat who had abandoned Smokyrose to her pregnancy, the cat Scorch had said did the same to all of his mates, this turn of events felt like it had come out of nowhere.

“That’s kind of you,” he huffed a laugh, “but I would have just made things more dangerous for them. Scorch was right when she sent me away.” Goldenstar frowned at that. When had Scorch done that? She glanced down at Scorch and found her sitting with her eyes shut and her ears pressed flat against her head again. 

Ghost continued, “It was me that got Miss Smoke killed. I thought for a while that was my punishment for caring at all, that things would be better off if I forgot about them, but I can’t help but worry. I don’t even know their names and I feel terrible about it.” He sighed and shut his eyes. The cat beside him leaned up against him and purred reassuringly. 

“Their names are Fogpaw and Slatepaw,” said Goldenstar, smiling gently. “Fogpaw looks exactly like you and Slatepaw looks exactly like her mother.” 

“Oh,” Ghost said, throat working tightly. “And they’re alright? They’re not just safe, they’re… cared for?” 

“Completely,” she assured him, leaning in to bump her forehead briefly against his. He startled at the touch, sorrowful eyes searching her face. “They’re growing into brave, kind young warriors.” 

“That’s… good,” he said, looking away, towards the city behind them. 

“Is there anything we can do to help them?” asked the she-cat. “It’s not safe to visit but if there’s something else, Ghost would like to help.” She looked at Ghost as if prompting him to say something they had rehearsed and he swallowed thickly. 

“Right, yes,” he said, glancing between the two cats on the fence with him. “If I can help, just let me know.” The words sounded clumsy on his lips but he pushed through them regardless. Goldenstar was struck with the distinct impression that he was trying very hard and it only made her heart swell for him. 

“Well,” she said, thinking, “the most important thing I can think of is getting the city cats to stop stealing our prey. It’s slowed down a bit but we’re still shortpawed. I know you’re important around here, is that something you could do?”

Ghost looked like she had asked him to eat deathberries, his scarred face heavy with despair. “I mean…” he shifted his weight uncomfortably. “It’s not so simple. The Exalted hunt for sport but the Chaff, my cats, they hunt to avoid starvation.” 

“It would be very hard to convince them to stop,” the she-cat said solemnly. 

“Maybe they don’t need to stop entirely,” Goldenstar said, an idea starting to spin in her head. “Even if they shifted where they were hunting and someone taught them how to preserve next year’s hunt then it wouldn’t be an issue really.” 

“Next year’s hunt?” Ghost asked. 

“There are certain rules we follow when we hunt to make sure that the prey can survive and breed until next year. It’s very important, not just for our continued survival but as a way to respect the blessings StarClan gives us. I could teach you if you wanted.” 

“I don’t know,” Ghost sighed. 

The she-cat leaned against him and said, in the way one might urge an uneasy apprentice, “I think it would be worth it to try, don’t you?” Goldenstar struggled to piece together what exactly was the nature of their relationship.

Ghost swallowed, searched his companion's face, and then said, wearily, “I suppose so.” 

“Goldenstar,” Scorchplume spoke up, urgency creeping into her tone. 

“Right,” Goldenstar looked down briefly, a pang of guilt in her belly. She’d been caught chattering like a queen at the border, holding up the whole patrol for hours with their gossiping. “We have to go. I know you can’t visit camp but maybe we could meet near the thunderpath some time to talk further.” 

“Alright,” Ghost said. “You tell time by the moon, right? How about I meet you when it's halfway full?”

“That sounds perfect,” Goldenstar smiled. She dropped back down onto the grass and started north towards home. The cat sitting beside Ghost whispered something encouraging and he shut his eyes tiredly. 

An idea struck Goldenstar suddenly and she paused to look at Schmidt. “Hey, Schmidt, if you’re looking for someone with leadership experience who might be interested in changing the way things are run here, I think Ghost would be an excellent cat to talk to.”

“What?” Ghost opened his eyes in surprise.

“Him?” Jo gawked. “The ‘I Don’t Make The Rules, I Just Enforce ‘Em’ fuck?” She lashed her tail, glaring at him and he scowled in her direction. 

“Yes,” Goldenstar said. “I think you two could work very well together.” 

“Well, I guess I could ask him a few things,” Schmidt said carefully. 

“Change sounds good, doesn’t it?” the she-cat urged Ghost gently. “Isn’t that what we’ve been talking about?” 

“Mm,” Ghost looked askance. Jo huffed, vindicated.

“Just give it a try,” Goldenstar said. “Now, let’s go. I’ve stalled us long enough.” 

“Right,” Jo said. “This way.” As she stepped away, she said, “You keep eyes on that fucker, Shepherd.” The dog boofed at Ghost in affirmation. The warriors hurried up over the fences, back towards their territory. Scorch sighed in relief once the yard was behind them, visibly relaxing her posture. 

“Are you alright?” Goldenstar said softly as they followed behind Jo.

“Yes,” Scorch said, and this time Goldenstar believed her a bit. “It was nothing, really. I’m fine now.” 

“Do you want to talk about it later?” frowned Goldenstar.

“It’s nothing, Goldie,” Scorch laughed from behind her mask. “Really, I’d prefer if we just forgot about it, yeah?” 

“Yeah, alright,” Goldenstar agreed. Whatever makes her happy, she decided. Brushing her tail against Scorch’s leg for a second, she focused on the path ahead, eager to get away from the noise and heat and “politics” of the city.

[indiaalphawhiskey]

Just some thoughts.

“There’s only so high you can go. At some point you’re not gonna make that expectation. Going out on a high and now feeling like I’m starting a fresh, came to terms with the fact that, that was so great and if I never get to do that on that level again, that’s okay.”

— Harry Styles, Behind the Album

Ever since Harry’s started saying his goodbyes on stage, this quote as been echoing in my head. All the variations of how he’s been saying thank you, and I’ll miss you, and talking about his break; it’s an unpopular opinion, but none of them ever really strike me as some big, final “goodbye” in the strictest sense. Rather, it feels like he’s thanking this era, giving it it’s time in the sun and reveling in what he has whilst he has it, before giving it a proper send off and putting it to bed.

The Fine Line and Harry’s House eras have meant an unprecedented skyrocket in his profile, and for a person who thought One Direction would be the pinnacle of his time in music, to find out it wasn’t, is a lot. A lot of joy, a lot of pride, but also a lot of pressure.

It’s safe to say this is the most popular and most successful he’s ever been, and I’m sure it’s incredibly reminiscent of where he was and how he felt when the band went on hiatus, which can easily bring about those same anxieties of “Well, what happens next?”

I think the reason he’s using this certain language to say his goodbyes is, in my opinion, not because he’s leaving and never coming back. It reads more like he’s giving himself the room to acknowledge that this chapter of his career (just like the last) was so beautiful, so memorable, such a high, in order to come to terms with the fact that if it’s never like this again — if it turns out he comes back and is met with (much) less success, or popularity, or love — it’ll be okay.

It seems like this is a lesson he’s taken with him from going solo: that natural breaks in your career shouldn’t be spent worrying about what comes next, that the goal of each phase of your career isn’t to “top” the last, because what that leads to is working from a place of fear. (Which he’s said he doesn’t want to do anymore.)

And so, I think, by saying a proper goodbye to this chapter, he’s releasing himself of the pressure to “top” it. He’s honoring this moment, this peak, for what it is, and by doing that, he’s also allowing himself and his art not to be defined entirely by these eras and this level of success. Releasing himself of that pressure, allowing himself to acknowledge that a long career means highs and lows and ebbs and flows, allowing himself to be “less than” who he is now in the future, is what’s going to make making music for his next era fun and personal, and maybe, in turn, end up making him a bigger and better artist than what he’s leaving behind. Or not.

The point is, either way, he’ll be okay, and happy, and healthy. And most importantly, peak of his career or not, everything that comes after will still be entirely Harry. 🩵