#well I didn't need that heart anyway
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*cracks knuckles* Okay lets talk about the elephant in the room: Style going to the support group for those who've suffered loss and telling what appears to be a fake story about losing his pet dog.
I'm going to point out a few things that I think provide a framework for Style's actions here. Not because I think it excuses what he did, but because I think a nuanced read is what the character deserves.
Point 1: An irresistible opportunity
The subs put the "Support Group for Loss" on the image in the notebook, but I'm not sure there's anything to suggest that Style would've known that was what this image represents until he showed up and saw the sign on top of the door.
In episode 2, Bison says, "He plans everything down from years, months, weeks to days" and then tells Kant:
So Style is literally just going to addresses/locations at given days and times, potentially not knowing what to expect. And as much as Fadel is certainly attending this meeting as a response to having that heartbreaking flashback (😭), this is also something he attends regularly and has planned to attend way in advance. So Style has no reason to think Fadel is attending this meeting because of a recent resurfacing of his pain.
What we, the audience, and what the characters know are very different things.
Now, should Style have turned his cute ass right around once he realised what this meeting was? Of course he should. But that wouldn't have been true to Style's character. We've been told by his best friend that he is "crazy" and been shown repeatedly that he lives right up to that description.
Style is impulsive. He's all base instinct and he acts on his desires without thought or contemplation. And by this point he is desperate for a deeper connection with Fadel. He's fascinated, captivated by the mystery that is Fadel and this is an excellent opportunity to finally see behind the wall Fadel so carefully maintains.
When Style sees the sign above the door, Style looks at the notebook (which, again, shows nothing but people sitting in a circle with the words RISE UP) like he's just realising what it means. He then gets this amused, almost rueful look on his face (like he's thinking "am I really going to do this?") before it shifts to determination and he walks through the door.
(My soul for the ability to once again gif something because FUCK Dunk is doing SO MUCH in this show!!)
To Style, this is just too good of an opportunity to give up.
Because let's be real, Fadel is so clearly lying and hiding something:
Fadel is shady as FUCK. He is simultaneously actually a really good cook (Style finally tries his burger so he knows, now), and also has the skills to work at a strip host club, and also can take on 3 guys in a fight, and also can break a man's arm with his thighs. Can you honestly blame Style for losing his mind just a little bit about wanting to get his hands on something, anything, to figure this man out?
Style is being absolutely consistent in his persistence to understand Fadel. This isn't about the car or about finally 'winning' the fight (thank you @airenyah for giving such a detailed framework to understand what Style's been doing until this point) anymore. This is about Style wanting to know Fadel himself.
Point 2: The potential implications of the setting
Now, what might give us a bit of insight as to why Style is this way? I have a theory (albeit one that could prove to be very wrong, but hear me out). I think this whole entire show is set in what could potentially be quite a small town/suburb.
There's a few things that make this theory plausible:
(1) Fadel and Bison are in hiding after Bison blew their previous cover. They're probably on the run from some section of the authorities and so it makes sense to settle in a quiet/out of the way place.
(2) Style seems to be really familiar with the people in the area. Like he grew up there and its the kind of small town where everyone knows everyone and everyone is in everyone else's business.
(3) Style is clearly the darling of the market aunties and uncles.
Style just lost her a sale and potentially a loyal customer, and she's still rooting for him? In episode 2, when Style asks the uncle to let him borrow his cart, it takes nothing but his word for the uncle to give Style his entire cart of produce for his ridiculous scheme.
Style is so clearly someone they all know well and have great affection for, and a very plausible explanation for this is that they all watched him grow up and the entire market (town/village) is fond of him.
And honestly?? Yeah, we see the way Style is actually quite sweet in that careless, guileless, thoughtless way. He goes the extra mile to fix his mistake with Fadel by replacing his car parts for free in episode 1. He helps out by taking orders in episode 2 without being asked and takes it seriously. In episode 3, he tries to drive more business to Fadel's store (bless him, he so clearly does NOT understand how restaurants work, but he MEANS well!!), and can we all acknowledge that it works?? He understands how to appeal to potential customers in the area because he knows the people there. It's not (entirely) his fault that Fadel wasn't remotely prepared for an actual rush crowd and Bison was off getting kinky with Kant and not doing his (fake) job. He is so clear about not judging Fadel's host job and tries his hardest to help him (to absolutely NO effect, but still) when the 3 guys gang up on Fadel.
Style is so loved and more importantly so very loveable.
Point 3: What this could mean for Style's character
So, potentially, Style is someone who grew up in a small town, who has been well loved, potentially spoiled and coddled, but also very much kept within the confines of the narrow viewpoint that a quiet, country town places on you.
It's in the way his dad scolds him as if he was still a child when he's at least in his mid to late 20s. It's in the way Style was so mad at Fadel for scolding him ("thanks for the lecture, dad"), like that hit a sore point for Style. It's in the way no one in the market takes him seriously; they're fond, but he's still a kid in their eyes. It's in the way he has an abundance of free time like he doesn't REALLY need to work at his dad's shop. It's in the way he sees Fadel beat 3 guys up with ease, starts wondering if Fadel is an assassin or a hitman, and is completely unfazed like he doesn't quite have a handle on reality.
It's in the way his best friend is a man who has no qualms about lying to him and putting his life in danger, and how Style seems to have no other friends or people (aside from his dad) in his life.
@wuxian-vs-wangji made a comment to me about Style being desperate for a meaningful connection, and I think she hit the nail on the head. Because along comes Fadel, a mysterious stranger with a suspiciously versatile set of skills who is also very hot and keeps giving Style these wonderfully complex reactions? Who sometimes wants nothing to do with Style, but at other times seems to be at war within himself about desperately wanting him? Who treats Style with anything but apathy?
This is catnip to Style; he never had any hope of resisting this.
Breaking news: Style is a complex and imperfect character...
Here's the thing, though: he was never going to try. The show has been incredibly upfront about who Style is as a person. Regardless of whether I'm correct about why he is this way (ie. that he is very much the product of the environment that didn't know how to handle a kid with Style's personality), episode 3 shouldn't have surprised anyone about Style. He's been incredibly consistent and true to himself.
He wants Fadel and he's "crazy" enough to go all in, no holds barred about it, and the Support Group was the biggest doorway to finally discovering something REAL about Fadel.
And its not just about sex or to prove his superiority anymore. Because if it was just that, then Style would have reacted very differently to their first time.
In this scene, Style is pleased and evidently enjoying himself, but he isn't exuberant. He isn't overcome with joy. If anything, he was more happy and excited when Fadel let him help out in the diner (I mentioned this in the tags in this post too) than he was when Fadel is literally fucking him. He lets Fadel set the pace; barely moves to touch Fadel except to hold him close. Almost like he doesn't want to accidentally mess this up, like he's worried he'll take too much, so he'll take what Fadel gives him and no more (please appreciate @braceletofteeth's amazing tags on this post). For a character that has been so aggressively on the offensive, this is shocking until you realise that sleeping with Fadel - while it's a step in the right direction - isn't Style's end goal anymore.
And he makes that abundantly clear in this episode:
Does Style even fully realise the weight of this desire? I doubt it. But I do believe that Style is in earnest. He doesn't fully understand his own feelings, but he also doesn't really care to either. All he knows is that he wants Fadel, wants his attention and his passion and his focus and his heart.
...but Style is also kind of, sort of, perfect.
Because he's exactly, precisely, breathtakingly exactly what Fadel needs.
Because Fadel is hurt and broken and bleeding inside. Because Fadel is barely holding it all together for Bison's sake, but has already given up hope for any true happiness for himself. Because Fadel can't trust anyone or anything in his life, when he's been used and used and used by the family who should've loved and cared and protected him.
Because it's going to take nothing short of this kind of unwavering, unshakable, uncomplicated determination to give Fadel even a chance of healing and opening his heart to love again.
#<my posts>#saw a post about style being one-dimensional and boring and I nearly had a breakdown because what are you TALKING about???#he's so perfectly messed up and terrible and unfiltered and WONDERFUL in all the wrong and right ways#and others have pointed out there's potentially even MORE to style's backstory because of the “coincidence” of Lilly meeting with#someone with the same name as the dog Style talks about in his story#listen the story telling in this show drives me inSANE in the best way and i'm baffled at some of the takes i'm seeing#can we at least... let his story play out maybe before dismissing or hating on Style?? its literally ONLY episode 3.#anyway yes its me your resident style apologist back to be unnecessarily emotional about style again#the heart killers the series#thk meta#the heart killers#style sattawat#fadelstyle#also FUCK ME dunk is just constantly serving every single episode and i've seen so many posts appreciating joong's acting (RIGHTLY SO!)#but not nearly enough love for the frankly INSANE performance dunk has been giving every single episode#i love him i love him I LOVE HIM SO MUCH OKAY T_T#dunk natachai#ALSO (not that this means i can speak for everyone in a similar circumstance)#but as someone who lost my father to cancer as a teenager i DO understand and relate to the FURY Fadel must have felt in ep 3#and i DO think style was wrong to have treated the situation so lightly#but like literally WHAT in this show sets up any expectation for style to have the emotional maturity to do that?#and also this doesn't make him an inherently bad person ACTUALLY#it makes him an idiot and needing to be taught the right way to respond to people who are grieving. but guess what; he's NOT ALONE??#because let me tell you the amount of times i wanted to punch FULL GROWN ADULTS for giving me “well meaning” platitudes at my dad's funeral#...but the thing is they DID mean well. they just didn't realise how hurtful their words were#and life is filled with imperfect people who make mistakes and part of our journey is learning from them and trying our best to be kind
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save me a seat in the wasteland II dead of night - orville peck II youtube link
#my videos#📹#💾#this was more difficult than i thought it would be#tried to make it reminiscent of the music video#could've mayhaps done more? i don't know anyway nothing is finished everything is abandoned#need to make one for lana's ride lmao#orville peck#might make another edit that is giving more of an ethel cain vibe like different colouring yk i just didn't manage to do it here that well#thelma and louise#paris texas#natural born killers#near dark#brokeback mountain#midnight cowboy#bones and all#sharp objects#badlands#desert hearts#X#cowboys
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“It always makes me feel so blessed that I’m in a position to be able to spread a positive message and help people. I know I’ve got to be the best version of myself and be a good example but I don’t think that pressure is a bad thing. It helps me grow and become a better artist. And, I think, that’s a really good thing.” - ★
#jake#sim jaeyun#enhypen#enhypenet#kpopedit#kpopccc#malegroupsnet#ultkpopnetwork#dailybg#*gifs#didn't make this on time for jake day#but this is my birthday edit for him !#guess i wasn't lacking creativity i just needed proper sleep#but anyways#the gq australia interview he did discussing his solo cover is something i always hold close to my heart#we all know how intelligent he is#but he's also incredibly well-spoken and i think that gets overlooked a bit#this interview highlights that quality so well#along with his 2023 weverse interview#can't thank the journalist behind this interview enough for describing him so beautifully#which basically inspired this edit#i can go on and on about him#overall his existence in the world has made mine brighter and for that he'll always have a special place in my heart ♡
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JUST FINISHED THE ATTACK ON TITAN FINALE.... AND MY GOD......EVEN AS A MANGA READER IT WAS SOUL CRUSHING SHEET GRIPPING HEART CRUSHING CHEST HEAVINGLY SAD. LITERALLY BROKEN MAPPA PUT THEIR ENTIRE MAPUSSY INTO THIS HOUR AND FORTY MINS I AM SCREAMING IN PAIN ON MY BED RN. SO BITTERSWEET. SO WHOLE AND COMPLETE AND FINAL. AN HONORABLE ENDING TO ONE OF THE GREATEST AND MOST TIMELESS PIECES OF FICTION EVER WRITTEN. TEARS OF JOY BUT SLSO INSUFFERABLE PAIN
#i didn't record excatly how many times i cried but. i would say well over ten#i genuinely tried so hard to not be a sniffling little bitch baby abt it#but what is a girl to do when her fav manga gets the justice it deserves for its finale?? thoroughly blown away by mappa#like they always pop off my my GOD#yea anyway don't expect any coherent thoughts from me for the next three days i will only be thinking abt this#waaaaah my eremin heart got fed so well this ep😭😭😭😭😭 they deserved sm better.. mikasa too :(((((#i need ibuprofen so fucking bad rn my head is pounding so hard bc ive basically been crying for a hundred mins straight. it hurts to breath#aot
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#oh wow...#i just had an oh shit fuck moment#wow#i usually complain about the one therapist i had in my entire life and how she wouldn't just listen to what i was saying#if it didn't fit her textbook definition of whatever she was thinking at the time#and how i talked to her about my anxiety and how that made me feel and she would only focus on how i acted#so the example i gave her was the one time i went into a shop to buy something by myself#because my mom didn't want to go in for me and arguing with my mom in front of the shop in public and then inevitably have to#go in myself either way was way worse to me#because of the embarrassement of arguing in public. the fact that my mom was gonna spend the entire walk home telling me how i have to#''just suck it up and learn and just overcome my anxiety because i don't have a problem'' or whatever#and then having to go into the shop where the lady had been watching me from inside the entire time how i clearly didn't want to go in#and possibly be even more awkward with teary eyes because of the anxiety and awkwardness i already bring to the table any day...#all of those things that were going inside my head were trumped by the fact that i did go in and did buy what i needed#although my heart was coming out of my chest the entire time... all that didn't matter to my therapist because in her words:#''if you had anxiety. you simply wouldn't have gone in''#which is ridiculous#but anyways... i just had an epiphany... that was masking wasn't it?#forcing myself to do something that brings me major discomfort to make my mother and the shop lady not judge me?#pretend i'm a normal human being just doing normal things instead of someone who's about to have a heart attack buying embroidery thread?#panicking the entire time because i wasn't prepeared and hadn't scripted the entire transaction in my head?#yet still going in and putting on my ''normal person'' mask to try to seem like i wasn't just dying seconds ago (and still was)?#isn't that literally what masking is?!#and the ''autism specialist'' ass therapist was like ''if you did it then you don't have a problem''#when i'm literally telling her how much of a problem it actually WAS?!#you know what's the best part about all this#that when i told my mom after i left that therapist that she didn't listen to me because [insert everything above]#my mom's response was ''well sometimes therapist will say things that you don't want to hear but you have to accept them''....#same woman who's always saying how much she hates therapists because they ''will say whatever and pretend they know shit''#ok so it's only The Truth when I tell you it isn't...
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One better (Patreon)
#Doodles#SCII#Damned#ZEX#Blood#I knew going into this and it was still so distressing :'0#Who needs plot twists when you can create such an intense sense of Dread#Probably doesn't help that I read this At Night In the Dark lol - actual shivers#Gods this was a hard scene to read - there have been several instances of my face hurting from furrowing my brow so hard haha#The way that ''Doctor'' is written is So skillful - I'm so impressed by everyone's prose and quirks and syntax!#Not to mention when he breaks character in a later scene to apologize for taking a bit to move the scene along haha <3 Play!!#It really does speak to just how much skill and effort is put into everything <3 It's so well done all the way around!!#Anyway to the actual scene at hand lol ow :') Drawing blood is always fun but I wish it wasn't his ;u;#Ugh the way he takes the surgeries is so well written - fear of course but a kind of stoic suffering as much as he's able to -#Until it comes to his eye#Ugh the /break/ of it all he goes from so eloquent - almost snarky and silly! Still trying to find an out make peace do /something/#It all goes completely out the window he's so /reduced/ and nothing hurts worse than that ughughugh#For all his intelligence and wit and prior successes and charm and just - everything that makes him /him/ to be dissolved into abject fear#It's so sad ;; And so well done <3#And he still holds enough of himself to know what he'd be losing wegh it's so sad!! He's so defined by his vision as most VUX are it's fjdsl#Zelnick is already gone by this point but I wanted to throw him in for extra sad flavour :')#Plus - I've mentioned his post-Op was one of the ones from the gallery that Actively kills me every time I look at it#Can you imagine my heartbreak to find out that he didn't have his Captain to comfort him after this in actuality? That he was fully alone?#''Are we home? Is it over?'' ''N...not yet'' - The Absolute Devastation of realizing that Never Was not really#Just tear my heart out why don't you ugh I'm fully bleeding out 💔#That last one is actually meant to be Max but it's open to interpretation :)#I think it's such a waste that his eye was just disposed of! Someone else could've used that (lol)#I do think there's something to the idea of seeing what used to be a part of your body elsewhere - like the Leftovers!#Even just keeping as a memento tho - a trophy - insult to injury but literally#Just points to no one being special and nothing being sacred I suppose
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my hot take about descendants is that NONE of the core four were ready for a relationship until maybe like, the third movie (rant in tags)
#they were still adjusting to living life without struggling to survive#a girl should not be jumping into a relationship the same week she just tried her first piece of non-rotten food lol#thats not to say I don't like the canon ships#but mal married literally the FIRST man she met in auradon. at 18.#and even as far as in descendants 2 we see them still struggling to adjust in different ways (mainly mal)#in d3 they seem to have fully assimilated into life in Auradon (as much as a VK can anyway)#so it makes sense for them to THEN seek out relationships if that's what they want.#but disney ofc wanted to act like romantic love just automatically fixes a person's problems ig?? as if a relationship wouldn't just be#added stress given the position the VKs were in in d1#not to mention dating just like. wasnt a thing on the isle (mal even says this)#and I get that the kids are craving to be loved because their parents didn't gaf about them. But I wish the first movie focused more on the#finding that love in each other than romantically with outside people. a sort of “they had love in them all along” moment.#and then this fandom loves to argue about whether Jarlos/Janelos was 'rushed'. at least Carlos (and Jay +lonnie) waited a few months before#throwing themselves into the dating scene. Poor evie had her heart broken within like 3 days of being in Auradon. no wonder she was willing#to help steal the wand lol.#Anyway to wrap up this rant I didn't even mean to go on#I just think that kids who have spent the first 14-16 years of their lives fighting to survive and being put through continuous trauma on a#daily basis don't need dating right away. they need THERAPY.#if anyone here has seen stranger things its kinda an El and Mike situation were its like. the girl grew up in a lab and fell for the first#boy in regular society who was kinda nice to her lol. thats how I view Mal and Ben#same with doug and evie. he was nicer than chad but he still fell for her for her looks and she still fell for him because he was the first#guy in auradon to be genuinely interested in her. also evie had a whole “I dont need a prince” arc and ended up with a man anyway?#my problem with janelos was always that Carlos never quite worked out his mommy issues or his anxiety. I feel like he'd be afraid of hurtin#her even though that boy wouldn't hurt a fly. and we see Jane get pretty stressed out herself- have you ever been in a relationship where#both of you have anxiety? cause it either goes really well (you help keep each other calm) or REALLY terribly (you make each other spiral)#I actually really liked Lonnie and Jay (though I feel like it would've had a bigger payoff if she was in d3. not sure why she wasn't but I#wont dunk on that because it couldve been smth to do with her actress). I think Lonnie is someone who can 'handle' Jay well and match his#energy. And I like the idea of Jay finding someone he's loyal to after being commitment-phobic for 1 1/2 movies and the whole first book lo#and ofc I have to throw this in here: any auradon kid the VKs get with is never going to grasp even half of what they went through.#this doesnt mean they can't try to understand and be empathetic. but it will always cast a shadow on VK/AK relationships.
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last minute pre-grandparent-visit room deep cleaning has revealed that within the drawer i tend to assume just has old, off generic birthday cards and theater/concert programs there are also many, many going away cards and letters and things from the last couple of times i moved away. i guess i always thought of it as such a lonely thing, and i talk a lot about how i don't think i made Real friends until recently, and not to get choked up on main or anything but i think maybe i was completely fucking wrong
#Real friends = deep friends and admittedly it's hard to have deep connections with ppl when you're like 10#and also hard to have deep connection with people when you don't understand yourself at all (bc how could you share it?)#but i was so profoundly loved.#and it's not like the bday cards and stuff aren't a part of that they're just so.. obligatory? whereas such cards from friends is. guhhh#like they missed me. maybe they still do at least a little bit. ahhhhhhh#like i was a shithead but i meant something to a lot of good people and so many of these aren't from just one person#they're a bunch of them coming together and bringing along inside jokes i only half remember and drawing my fucking ocs like GUYS.#GUYS I LOVE YOU GUYS. i may not remember all of you but you were like. goddd i think you made this bearable#and im so glad i saved these. i didn't know there were so many#speaking of which i also found THREE count em THREE decks of cards i know for a fact i have never used bc i have a favorite deck and it's#not those. what off the wall madness was i planning where i needed three non-matching decks of cards within sleep-reach at all times#anyway im reorganizing bc like 10% of that drawer was stuff i actually needed regularly (literally Just the knives) and it's a nightstand#so it should be like. stuff i frequently need like pens and junk. idk#like it's not as if i don't think about how my moving away hurt ppl like i've been abandoning ppl against my will my whole life#but i guess ive been thinking of it as some kind of responsibility or guilt thing? or painful in a me-centric way. they sent me off#with well wishes though they poured their hearts into these. they drew and printed photos and made little crafts bc they loved me#and that's what you do when someone you love has to go away. waughhhhgghhghbn
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I HAVE FIVE PAGES. LEFT. TO DRAW.
#i don't want to jinx it AGAIN but tomorrow........ i might have adhd meds#should the fucking stars align#vacillating wildly between#okay tangent but that “draft saved!” thingy that shows up ON TOP OF THE TAGS I AM CURRENTLY TYPING#DO YOU FUCKING MIND#anyway#vacillating wildly betweennn#there's no way you really have adhd you're using other peoples' struggles to justify being a shitty person#and okay time to draw i just need to look up every person i remember from elementary school on facebook#oh yeah name redacted has a beard that suits him so time to draw oh and name redacted IS cool even tho my shitty brother said he was like#a huuuuuge stoner well i didn't believe him anyway#time to draw i just need to find out if mika is on tour and if he's coming to canada and read his entire wikipedia page and time to draw#i just need to listen to his new song but the song youtube is playing next is not the vibe but i DO need to see a giant spruce beetle#not a cool giant beetle the kind that make a clicking noise and pinch you and strike a visceral fear into my heart#and i need to rewrite this later scene because i was thinking about it and thought of something better#and time to draw but first i need to write this tumblr post#this is because netflix doesn't have himym on there anymore#the concept of talking about himym ends all rambling bc i could talk about it for so long i don't even know where to start#thanks for coming to my ted talk
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a super fun thing that my brain is really good at is hearing a random fact and remembering it forever. but only if it's bad :)
#the reason I'm thinking about that right now: I wish I had never read that having a crease on your earlobe means you're more likely to have#heart disease.#scared me so much that I read a whole paper about it#but it's been years now so I don't remember the details#just that that's a thing apparently#and guess what my brain does with that information? oh yeah of course I have to obsessively look at the ears of everyone now! does that#do anything helpful? nope! just makes me very very anxious :)#it's just like when I was a kid and I got nightmares about scurvy every time I didn't eat a potato for a week.#like. wow I could be so smart and everything if my brain wasn't constantly focused on random bullshit that is completely irrelevant 😭#also this thing specifically: I've always been weirdly fascinated by ears and this made that a million times worse and also very scary.#like ooh that's a nice ear :) oh no death exists and this person is going to die and#yeah it sucks.#specifically choosing not to mention any names in this context because my god this shit is on my mind all the time already I really don't#need to say it where anyone can see#it's embarrassing enough#though anyone who has looked at my blog in the past month already knows who I'm talking about.#like. I really shouldn't allow myself to like anyone over the age of like. idk 45.#it's so unbelievably exhausting.#but annnyway I'm totally normal and fine :)#oh yeah I also have creases on my earlobes lol so that definitely added to the scariness (and THEN my mother randomly mentioned recently#that EVERYONE on her side of the family had/has heart disease. bitch WHAT the fuck. anyway so yeah guess we know what's gonna kill me#haha isn't that fun :) )#ALSO the fact that my memory is very very bad means that I remember absolutely none of the details about shit like this. so it could very#well be completely irrelevant and harmless but i wouldn't remember that part.#and I think even if I found out more it wouldn't help. it's been an obsession for so long. I've never had one go away that I've had for#this long. so. guess I'm just fucked.#personal
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I hope your week is going well🤍🤍🤍 could I please have some baby Jean?
prev | Baby Jean | WW 20.12.2023
Predictably, as soon as Jean asked, his sisters both piped up expectantly. Just as predictable was his grandparents' attempt to bring reason to the conversation by pointing them to the aquarium map. But his sisters refused to even attempt to listen to reason, arguing with each other in complete dismissal of which exhibit was closer or what their plan could be.
Jean sighed and wandered off to the closest exhibit, immediately awe-struck by the colors and movements of the fish on the other side of the glass.
MASTERPOST
#lee's writing shenanigans#aftg#all for the game#wip wednesday#aftg jean#jean moreau#baby jean#white heart anon <3 <3 <3#HELLO DEAR#it might be a bit until I can get to your more recent ask#I'm so sorry that the week you sent in this one didn't go well ;;;;;;;;#if you ever need to talk to someone about it in private feel free to send me a message on here or on discord <3#I can for sure at least send photos of my dogs being silly if I don't have anything else to say#anyway I'm doing pretty well!#let's see the 20th#I took time off from my job so that I could recover a bit more mentally#aka I have 10 sick days mentioned in my contract and I'd only used one of them#and I also still have my personal day!#the week you sent this in is also the week I reported one of my colleagues for disrespectful behavior#it was an entire ordeal#more to come on the next post because I do have very exciting news ;;w;#ww013 20.12.2023#btw I am sending you so many hugs#you are strong and will get through the dark moments
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Hyness, Why are you so scared of Ester? Have you met him before?
Hyness: "The girls and I used to read up on old legends in our spare time, and there was one talking about 'The Mind Compressor', described as a shadowy figure in a red cloak that people only ever saw in hallucinations. So, of course, there was skepticism...especially considering it's rumored that the headaches he causes can be fatal. But that can't be true, right?" He sighed.
Hyness: "...Anyway. Back before he came out of the shadows...I could see him. And hear him. It was unsettling...some of the things he said...the scariest one was that he said he could hurt me at any moment if he wanted to. And I mean...physically. Part of me was skeptical, but...Javez did attack me, after all. And if Ester's here...they have to be working together. They're not afraid to hurt me, but...they won't kill me. Not yet. I know what they really want."
Hyness: "...Ester was right. This is all my fault. If I hadn't tried opening up that portal...running away like a coward...Javez wouldn't have jumped through it. Well, I mean...maybe not, anyway. He could've tracked me down at that point and found me whenever...regardless, I...I should've just explained everything to the girls. I was terrified as to how they'd react, but...maybe if I told them...we'd all be more prepared for something like this...and none of us would be in danger. Not for a while longer, anyway. ...Delaying the inevitable...maybe that is all I'm doing...maybe..." His voice trailed off, and he returned to his thoughts. At least the core isn't glowing anymore. For some reason. It could start back up at any moment, though.
#Event: Chapter 1 - Fading Minds & Breaking Hearts#story#ask#thevalkyriewarrior#ok the reason for no core glow is legit. i forgot in the last one. so had to come up with something#ah yes angst with a side of lore#this is where the 0.0001% of people who didn't read the og go 'huh'#but like...why would you be here if you have no context...it's literally...i linked it in the promo post...#anyway whatever that was a dumb joke and well. i was like.#i was too lazy to do more than one drawing#and by lazy i mean tired. i need a nap. also needa stop rambling in tags#kirby#kirby star allies#kirby au#kirby fanart#kirby series#hyness#kirby hyness#ester#javez#again. they get tags cause they're mentioned#might not always do that but idk maybe#ask blog#ask-the-retired-cultist#retiredcultistredux#retired cultist redux
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i've seen comments about airi not being the "true" savior because of makia reincarnated from earth which counts her as "from another world" which is kind of true, but ultimately false.
#because although makia and thor reincarnated from kazuha and tooru#their souls *aren't* originally from that world. only airi is.#makia and thor. kazuha and tooru. all of them are scarlet and black's reincarnations respectively who are from the world of maydare#the savior is said to be 'from another world' and as of now that applies to tanaka airi ONLY#we don't know about kanon that much but irc the hero was said to be from another world as well? i don't remember#anyway i really like that they didn't do a 'makia was the savior all along because she was from earth too!' but instead makia was a savior#in a way that isn't 'destined to save the world' but in a way that she manage to reach out to people's hearts and help them#as what airi said kazuha was like an angel that saved her#it was also accordung to her that makia is like the true main character in which she is. but savior =/= protagonist.#airi is still pretty much the savior in title and she's now acting on her part. she still have powers that of a savior.#she's still very much the vessel needed to eliminate harm. there's gonna be a great war not just between#hermedes vs ruschia & frezier and the rest of maydare's countries#but also between the 10 great magicians from history that came back once again..... i think. airi's role is gonna be essential for both.#airi plays an important part and not just her! gt9 as well! frey as a prince of ruschia and makia as a guardian and as the scarlet witch..#lapis as a (basically) military personnel and a twilight mage for frezier empire#and lastly nero as the hermedes empire's last royalty and as queen shatoma frezier's ally#all of them play an important role#gilbert also! not just as the prince that's basically handling every work in the castle because ulysses is lune ruschia's professor and#the white sage's reincarnation and frey who was stripped from every right he have as a prince— ahem! gilbert not just as a prince but also#as a guardian. oh and sir lionel the vice captain of the royal knights and a guardian ig there's nothing really remarkable about him aside#from those. and yeah thor since he's not just a guardian but also one of the big three magicians#genuinely why are the guardians so boring the only one that isnxt is makia granted cuz she's the mc but also airi those two are the only#enjoyable ones. gilbert is slowly growing on me tbh. who knows maybe sir lionel's gonna have an arc where i'd like him#thor i swear i don't hate you and i even liked you but you're never gonna outrank gt9 airi and even beatrice#sylhea talks maydare
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Thus far, the biggest slap in the face I've recieved today. A welcome one, but still.
ABANDONED CREATURE(s)
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TODAY
#Good omens#Aziraphale#Crowley#Aziracrow#Innefable husbands#Innefable divorce#Well I guess I didn't need my hearts anyways...#Even if I did they're gone now#Crushed into tiny little pieces
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#i have this diary like thing well not diary but notebook but well essentially it's a diary but that's embarrassing to say but ANYWAY#i was marking something on it like kitne lectures ho gaye etc and i saw this page#where i had written the entire lyrics of icdiwabh in caps locks letters with broken heart underlined aggressively#and it's dated like 17th july something#and i was like WOAH i don't have a broken heart anymore somehow impossibly it healed and is whole again#took almost all of 2024 and feeling so miserable that i thought i would die but miraculously#im here and it's fine there's fond memories and gratefulness but a firm resolution to never go back#like i was looking thru my blog yesterday to find a post and#so many of um old posts showed up which obviously they did but i was searching very happily and then suddenly i was#like oh right yeah this happened and i reread all of them like in the for me hashtag#and it was sad but like it was okay i didn't get that uncontrollable urge to like go back because i NEED that kind of love adoration#giddy feeling again#i was like okay this is sweet good experience we were cute and wow i was really loved but that's it#it took way too long much longer than i thought it would but i think i bounced back faster than i did the first time#the first one easily took 1.5 to 2 years#ANYWAY saumya if you're reading this ho jayega apne aap hi don't you worry time heals everything okay?
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With 特攻薬 and Accept My Love, I can confirm that there is something in the water that is specifically affecting the green haired princesses with a disorder and purple eyes and is making them spiral (Momochi and Hiyori)
#and they both served while having a mental breakdown in their respective songs#and them brushing off the very concerning issues like I don't know a lot of Jp but I'm pretty sure Momochi sounded very suicidal with the#lyrics and Hiyori straight up only has 1 purpose in her life (loving and protecting her dear family) but they don't need her anymore#Anyway when the teaser dropped Momochi the bitch was going “I think I was able to show a new side to myself pls give it a listen ><” while#blessing Cheers on twt (while ignoring the time she ominously tweeted that the time for dreams is over)#and Hiyori was like “Life isn't always fun sometimes you want to cry so you should look at me and copy me because I'm always smiling” like#girl are we going to pretend you didn't admit that you desperately tried to keep yourself smiling no matter what and that you were cutting#up your heart as well (and her basically saying “my life has no purpose im gonna kms if you don't use me”)#the funny thing is that Hiyori is (one of) my faves and I want her out of enstars while I hate Momochi (affectionately) and do not like#rejet so he can stay in Dearvo
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