#can we at least... let his story play out maybe before dismissing or hating on Style?? its literally ONLY episode 3.

[secriden]

*cracks knuckles* Okay lets talk about the elephant in the room: Style going to the support group for those who've suffered loss and telling what appears to be a fake story about losing his pet dog.

I'm going to point out a few things that I think provide a framework for Style's actions here. Not because I think it excuses what he did, but because I think a nuanced read is what the character deserves.

Point 1: An irresistible opportunity

The subs put the "Support Group for Loss" on the image in the notebook, but I'm not sure there's anything to suggest that Style would've known that was what this image represents until he showed up and saw the sign on top of the door.

In episode 2, Bison says, "He plans everything down from years, months, weeks to days" and then tells Kant:

So Style is literally just going to addresses/locations at given days and times, potentially not knowing what to expect. And as much as Fadel is certainly attending this meeting as a response to having that heartbreaking flashback (😭), this is also something he attends regularly and has planned to attend way in advance. So Style has no reason to think Fadel is attending this meeting because of a recent resurfacing of his pain.

What we, the audience, and what the characters know are very different things.

Now, should Style have turned his cute ass right around once he realised what this meeting was? Of course he should. But that wouldn't have been true to Style's character. We've been told by his best friend that he is "crazy" and been shown repeatedly that he lives right up to that description.

Style is impulsive. He's all base instinct and he acts on his desires without thought or contemplation. And by this point he is desperate for a deeper connection with Fadel. He's fascinated, captivated by the mystery that is Fadel and this is an excellent opportunity to finally see behind the wall Fadel so carefully maintains.

When Style sees the sign above the door, Style looks at the notebook (which, again, shows nothing but people sitting in a circle with the words RISE UP) like he's just realising what it means. He then gets this amused, almost rueful look on his face (like he's thinking "am I really going to do this?") before it shifts to determination and he walks through the door.

(My soul for the ability to once again gif something because FUCK Dunk is doing SO MUCH in this show!!)

To Style, this is just too good of an opportunity to give up.

Because let's be real, Fadel is so clearly lying and hiding something:

Fadel is shady as FUCK. He is simultaneously actually a really good cook (Style finally tries his burger so he knows, now), and also has the skills to work at a strip host club, and also can take on 3 guys in a fight, and also can break a man's arm with his thighs. Can you honestly blame Style for losing his mind just a little bit about wanting to get his hands on something, anything, to figure this man out?

Style is being absolutely consistent in his persistence to understand Fadel. This isn't about the car or about finally 'winning' the fight (thank you @airenyah for giving such a detailed framework to understand what Style's been doing until this point) anymore. This is about Style wanting to know Fadel himself.

Point 2: The potential implications of the setting

Now, what might give us a bit of insight as to why Style is this way? I have a theory (albeit one that could prove to be very wrong, but hear me out). I think this whole entire show is set in what could potentially be quite a small town/suburb.

There's a few things that make this theory plausible:

(1) Fadel and Bison are in hiding after Bison blew their previous cover. They're probably on the run from some section of the authorities and so it makes sense to settle in a quiet/out of the way place.

(2) Style seems to be really familiar with the people in the area. Like he grew up there and its the kind of small town where everyone knows everyone and everyone is in everyone else's business.

(3) Style is clearly the darling of the market aunties and uncles.

Style just lost her a sale and potentially a loyal customer, and she's still rooting for him? In episode 2, when Style asks the uncle to let him borrow his cart, it takes nothing but his word for the uncle to give Style his entire cart of produce for his ridiculous scheme.

Style is so clearly someone they all know well and have great affection for, and a very plausible explanation for this is that they all watched him grow up and the entire market (town/village) is fond of him.

And honestly?? Yeah, we see the way Style is actually quite sweet in that careless, guileless, thoughtless way. He goes the extra mile to fix his mistake with Fadel by replacing his car parts for free in episode 1. He helps out by taking orders in episode 2 without being asked and takes it seriously. In episode 3, he tries to drive more business to Fadel's store (bless him, he so clearly does NOT understand how restaurants work, but he MEANS well!!), and can we all acknowledge that it works?? He understands how to appeal to potential customers in the area because he knows the people there. It's not (entirely) his fault that Fadel wasn't remotely prepared for an actual rush crowd and Bison was off getting kinky with Kant and not doing his (fake) job. He is so clear about not judging Fadel's host job and tries his hardest to help him (to absolutely NO effect, but still) when the 3 guys gang up on Fadel.

Style is so loved and more importantly so very loveable.

Point 3: What this could mean for Style's character

So, potentially, Style is someone who grew up in a small town, who has been well loved, potentially spoiled and coddled, but also very much kept within the confines of the narrow viewpoint that a quiet, country town places on you.

It's in the way his dad scolds him as if he was still a child when he's at least in his mid to late 20s. It's in the way Style was so mad at Fadel for scolding him ("thanks for the lecture, dad"), like that hit a sore point for Style. It's in the way no one in the market takes him seriously; they're fond, but he's still a kid in their eyes. It's in the way he has an abundance of free time like he doesn't REALLY need to work at his dad's shop. It's in the way he sees Fadel beat 3 guys up with ease, starts wondering if Fadel is an assassin or a hitman, and is completely unfazed like he doesn't quite have a handle on reality.

It's in the way his best friend is a man who has no qualms about lying to him and putting his life in danger, and how Style seems to have no other friends or people (aside from his dad) in his life.

@wuxian-vs-wangji made a comment to me about Style being desperate for a meaningful connection, and I think she hit the nail on the head. Because along comes Fadel, a mysterious stranger with a suspiciously versatile set of skills who is also very hot and keeps giving Style these wonderfully complex reactions? Who sometimes wants nothing to do with Style, but at other times seems to be at war within himself about desperately wanting him? Who treats Style with anything but apathy?

This is catnip to Style; he never had any hope of resisting this.

Breaking news: Style is a complex and imperfect character...

Here's the thing, though: he was never going to try. The show has been incredibly upfront about who Style is as a person. Regardless of whether I'm correct about why he is this way (ie. that he is very much the product of the environment that didn't know how to handle a kid with Style's personality), episode 3 shouldn't have surprised anyone about Style. He's been incredibly consistent and true to himself.

He wants Fadel and he's "crazy" enough to go all in, no holds barred about it, and the Support Group was the biggest doorway to finally discovering something REAL about Fadel.

And its not just about sex or to prove his superiority anymore. Because if it was just that, then Style would have reacted very differently to their first time.

In this scene, Style is pleased and evidently enjoying himself, but he isn't exuberant. He isn't overcome with joy. If anything, he was more happy and excited when Fadel let him help out in the diner (I mentioned this in the tags in this post too) than he was when Fadel is literally fucking him. He lets Fadel set the pace; barely moves to touch Fadel except to hold him close. Almost like he doesn't want to accidentally mess this up, like he's worried he'll take too much, so he'll take what Fadel gives him and no more (please appreciate @braceletofteeth's amazing tags on this post). For a character that has been so aggressively on the offensive, this is shocking until you realise that sleeping with Fadel - while it's a step in the right direction - isn't Style's end goal anymore.

And he makes that abundantly clear in this episode:

Does Style even fully realise the weight of this desire? I doubt it. But I do believe that Style is in earnest. He doesn't fully understand his own feelings, but he also doesn't really care to either. All he knows is that he wants Fadel, wants his attention and his passion and his focus and his heart.

...but Style is also kind of, sort of, perfect.

Because he's exactly, precisely, breathtakingly exactly what Fadel needs.

Because Fadel is hurt and broken and bleeding inside. Because Fadel is barely holding it all together for Bison's sake, but has already given up hope for any true happiness for himself. Because Fadel can't trust anyone or anything in his life, when he's been used and used and used by the family who should've loved and cared and protected him.

Because it's going to take nothing short of this kind of unwavering, unshakable, uncomplicated determination to give Fadel even a chance of healing and opening his heart to love again.

[yellowsugarwords]

"𝙇𝙚𝙩 𝙎𝙤𝙢𝙚𝙤𝙣𝙚 𝘾𝙖𝙧𝙚"

「  CAMPCAMP: David, Max (Dadvid)  」

Summary: When David sees that Max has a black eye, his fatherly protective instincts kick in. (I stg this always happens OOPS but I’ve been re-watching some of camp camp and the new hyper-obsession has DROPPED for today so ima post it lol)

Words: 1,425   [ ⏱︎ 8 mins ]

━━━━━━ ₊˚⊹

“Well done, campers!” David’s enthusiastic voice slipped over the fire, capturing the attention of all campers who heard it. Parents' Day had just wrapped, and David was pleasantly surprised by the results. It went about as well as he could’ve hoped, which was still utter chaos, but with less property damage.

“Now, off to bed! After all, we have another fun-filled day planned for tomorrow!”

“Thank God,” Gwen groaned, immediately ready to retreat to her room. David frowned, shoulders sinking. He'd been hoping someone would help him put out the fire and clean up their site. Thankfully, he never got his hopes up about things like that and he was more than well-equipped to take down the campfire site single-handedly.

Max groaned, pulling his hood as far over his head as he could. His ears were ringing and his head ached. His stomach was twisting itself into knots, releasing, and doing it all over again. It was making him want to vomit.

Finally, after taking some alone time in the woods, he sneaked closer to the fire once everyone retired for the night. All that was left was David and Gwen, who was so exhausted she was already halfway inside. If he could just sneak by them and get inside, maybe he could avoid all the questions he knew were incoming.

After all the parents had left for the remainder of the summer, Max hung back, attempting to recuperate himself. After all, his Dad had rocked the shit out of him with that swift hit to the face. That’s what he deserved for not making eye contact and mumbling, he supposed.

Max watched from afar as the fire burned on, waiting until every camper dispersed before he drew closer to the main hub. He needed to figure out a plan to explain the state of his eye. So, he settled on the story that he ran off to be his ‘usual rebellious self during Parents' Day’ and got smacked in the face by a tree branch. He knew, at the very least, Gwen would buy it and the state of his face could be easily dismissed.

Now, if he could just sneak past David and avoid Gwen, he would be home free. All he needed to do was-

“Max?”

Shit.

Max froze mid-step, sensing David’s looming presence to his left. Maybe if he played off how tired he was, David would leave him alone and let him vanish for the night. Then he could at least come up with a plan to fool Mr. Sunshine. Even a pair of sunglasses might work fine enough until it healed or he found a better way to cover it up.

“Sorry, I’m heading to bed.”

“Max, wait-”

Ugh fuck.

“Where have you been? Everyone was supposed to be in bed half an hour ago.”

“I just wanted to get some fresh air.” Max kept his head down, avoiding eye contact as much as possible. “Look, can we talk about this tomorrow? I’m tired.”

David pursed his lips, crossing his arms in doubt. “Is it because today was Parents' Day?” he asked, voice gentle.

“God dammit, David.” Max hated it when David cared. Or when he pretended to care. Whatever it was that David was always doing. “No. I’m fine.”

David frowned. Sure, Max was often hesitant to open up to anyone, especially him, but something seemed especially off tonight. It had to have been due to Parents’ Day. After all, David was aware of the strained relationship Max had with his family. He wouldn’t be shocked if it left unpleasant feelings lingering.

Slowly, David reached forward to set a hand on the child’s shoulder. “Max, you know you can talk to me if you need to.”

As Max went to smack the counsellor's hand away, his nose scrunching in displeasure at any form of physical affection, his hood slipped off the bundle of black curls atop his head. The instant he felt the glow of the campfire reach his face, he knew it was game over. All he could do was freeze, head low, and hope David either wouldn’t see or would simply ignore it.

He didn’t.

The concerned but warm smile on David’s face quickly fell. “Max?” He knelt, wanting to look Max in the eyes, but froze the instant he caught a glimpse of his face. David’s heart dropped into his stomach. “Max, what happened?” He lifted a hand, wanting to brush it against Max's face to get a better look, but decided against it.

Max jerked himself away, tugging his hood up over his head again. “David, just drop it.”

David clenched his fists. He could recognize Max’s self-preserving deflection any day. “Max, who did this to you?” It came out like a command rather than a request. He still ensured his voice was low and gentle, not wanting to push him more than he already was.

Max shrugged, anxiously digging his right heel into the dirt. “Look, it was an accident. He didn’t mean to.”

“Max.”

“He just doesn’t have the same patience with me that you do. He got fuckin' pissed and-” Max abruptly stops, eyes widening at the revelation. Shit. He’d said it. Sure, David could be dense from time to time - specifically when it came to reading the room - but he wasn’t stupid. Max could feel any words he wanted to say get caught in his throat, wedging themselves there.

“Your Dad did this to you, didn’t he?” Again, David said it as a statement rather than a question. He sounded more disappointed this time, more dejected. More lifeless. Max wasn't used to hearing David sound like this.

Max closed his eyes. “David, please.” His voice was quiet and desperate. David had never seen Max act anything like this. He was normally so defiant and headstrong. It was rare to see him so dejected and quiet. David never thought he would ever see Max plead.

David clenched his jaw, fidgeting with the fingers he had balled into fists. He wasn’t one for violence, nor was he the type to want to punch something, but somehow this was an exception. The rage boiling in his chest drove him up the wall.

Max was a child. More importantly, he was their child. His father’s child. How could they take that sacred responsibility, that joy, and tarnish it?

“David?” Max’s voice was hesitant and soft. David had never heard the child speak that way before, almost as though his voice was walking on eggshells.

“Come on, Max,” David said lowly, relaxing his hands and setting one behind one of his shoulders as a guide, “Let me get you some ice.”

David opened the door to the cabin, gingerly guiding the child inside and closing the door behind them. “David, really, I just want to go lie down.” Max protested, but David didn’t listen. Instead, he made his way to a nearby fridge and sink, getting a cloth and wetting it under the sink.

“Ugh, David, you’re-”

“At least let someone care,” David said softly, not taking his attention away from the sink.

The frustration slowly faded from Max’s expression. He was thankful, as scrunching his nose in disdain was causing his eye to ache. “What?”

David turned off the running water and paused. He wrung out the cloth, reached into the freezer, and pulled out a small frozen plastic bag. “At least let someone care about you.” He didn’t look up as he wrapped the ice pack in the cloth. He held it out to the child, waiting for him to accept it. “At least let me show you that I care. Even if you won’t accept it.”

Max stared up at the counsellor, feeling his eyes well up. No. He was not about to cry. He wasn’t feeling that sappy about the event. Maybe it was just because his eye was starting to swell. Yeah, that had to be it. Max reached out, his small hand grasping the ice pack and sliding out of his fingers.

David gave a sad smile, watching as the child slowly held it up to his purple eye. “Thank you,” David said softly.

Max looked down, stuffing his free hand into his hoodie pocket. “I should be saying that to you, you idiot.”

Momentarily, David’s frustration and disappointment subsided. Tomorrow is when he and Gwen could figure out a game plan. Tonight, right now, Max just needed someone to be here, even if the child wouldn’t admit it.

“Now, let me grab the disinfectant.”

“Ugh, David!” ━━━━━━ 𝙩𝙝𝙖𝙣𝙠𝙨 𝙛𝙤𝙧 𝙧𝙚𝙖𝙙𝙞𝙣𝙜!! ₊˚⊹ 𝐭𝐢𝐩 𝐣𝐚𝐫   ♡   𝐟𝐚𝐧𝐝𝐨𝐦𝐬 𝐢 𝐰𝐫𝐢𝐭𝐞 𝐟𝐨𝐫

[wkemeup]

favorite fanfic trope: enemies to lovers but it's the moment when their tension is at its peak 😈

title: The Mess I Made - submitted by anon summary: you may not be on the best terms with Bucky Barnes, but it doesn't stop you from coming to his defense prompt: “Did anyone ever tell you how pathetic you are? It’s incredible how low my standards are for you.” / multiple requests for enemies to lovers word count: 1.5k a/n: enemies to lovers is already tough for me and to do it in drabble form is impossible for me because it requires a slow burn, but I did my best!!

You were on your way to the tower's gym when you heard Bucky’s voice echo from the end of the hall. Towel swung over your shoulder, headphones barely even grazed your ears as you paused, turning down the music. Bucky’s shadow danced over the walls as his run his hands through his hair. A woman’s shadow emerged next to him, her heels clicking against the tiles.

You rolled your eyes. Bucky’s latest string of conquests were an inconvenience at best. His pathetic attempt to rekindle whatever version of himself he idolized from the forties in the form of cheap, meaningless hookups was just another reason you made every effort to steer clear of Barnes. His seemingly indifference towards you made easy to do so.

Steve wouldn’t let it go – his questioning of why the two of you could never get along. It wasn’t that you hated Barnes. You didn’t know him well enough to hate him. You just didn’t care for what you saw. He was guarded and cold. Condescending and arrogant. Half the time, you barely believed Steve’s stories of Bucky’s charming days in the forties. The rare moments you caught his smile, it looked forced. It barely touched his eyes and he wore a mask to bring home women who spent their nights admiring an arm he would not allow them to touch.

The rare moments you thought you saw something genuine in him, he’d lashed out. The cracks in his foundation breaking through the surface in the screams at the night of dead of night, flinching at loud noises, the easy transition to taking orders and losing himself for the briefest of moments.

You’d made the mistake once of trying to comfort him. His eyes had glazed over in the middle of a conversation. There were dozens of agents around for the annual holiday party and Bucky was in another world entirely. His pupils were dilated, his hands shaking as he closed them to fists. You never learned what triggered it, but the moment you laid a gentle hand upon his forearm, Bucky had you in a chokehold.

It took both Sam and Tony’s strength to wield Bucky away from you, all while he was practically foaming at the mouth, screaming at you to never touch him again. He was rabid as Sam and Tony struggled to hold him back. The whole party stopped to watch the scene unfold – as Bucky hurtled countless insults at you.

He was drinking Thor’s liquor. He had to have been. Half of what he said that night barely made any sense. None it worth the audacity to lay a hand upon his arm to draw him back from wherever his mind had taken him. Perhaps, if you weren’t so thoroughly humiliated, you might have considered as much.

But what he said that night stayed with you and you never let it go.

“Why don’t you stay, sweetheart?” Bucky’s voice carried down the hall.

You tapped your foot impatiently at the elevators, desperate for an escape before he turned the corner. You noticed the woman’s heels were still clicking on the floors. She hadn’t stopped.

“Let me take you for breakfast, at least,” Bucky asked, a nervousness in his voice you didn’t recognize. He cleared his throat. “I was thinking we could—”

“I’m going to stop you right there.” The clicking ceased and you watched as the woman’s shadow placed a hand on Bucky’s chest, stilling him in an instant. “I thought you knew what this was.”

“I did. I do, but,” Bucky started, running a hand through his hair. You’d never seen him act this way before – so unsure of himself. The elevator doors open and closed as you watched his shadow sway on his heels. “I just... I want to try something different. Something... real and I thought, since we had a nice night together you might...”

“What?” the woman scoffed. “You thought I would want to date you?”

Bucky stiffened. Even his shadow appeared to mask into stone. Dread curdled in your stomach and you found yourself inching down the hall, approaching the shadows.

“Listen,” the woman crooned, “you were great last night and sleeping with the Winter Soldier is a hell of a story, but you’re not exactly... relationship material.”

You froze, stunned.

Bucky awkward cleared his throat. “I-I know, and I’m working on that. I just thought—”

“Oh my God, take the hint!” the woman exclaimed and you flinched in time with Bucky’s shadow against the wall. “Did anyone ever tell you how pathetic you are? Clearly all I wanted was a good lay. I thought I wouldn’t have to worry about this clingy shit with the Winter Soldier for Christ's sake. It’s incredible how low my standards were for you.”

“What the hell is your problem?”

You rounded the corner, tossing your workout gear aside as you came face to face with the woman. She was a beautiful as the rest of them were – tall, stunning, probably one of the models you’ve seen on runways or on magazines. But her eyes were unkind, and dismissive.

“I don’t have to explain myself to you,” she spat, shoving past your shoulder and heading to the elevator. You moved to block her when you felt the cold grasp of vibranium curl around your wrist, yanking you out of her path.

“Hey!” you yelped, watching as the woman made her escape into the elevator. You snatched your hand back, massaging at the tender muscle. “What the hell, Barnes?”

“I don’t need you coming to my rescue,” Bucky bit back. “I had it handled.”

You scoffed, the image of Bucky’s form flinching as she called him ‘pathetic’ still fresh in your mind. You’d never known him to back down from a fight. Hell, he’d gotten into a screaming match with a paparazzi for daring to ask how his morning jog went. Bucky didn’t roll over and play dead. But he let that woman wrap a hand around his throat until he choked.

“Sure looked handled,” you rolled your eyes. “She was walking all over you.”

“My sex life is not your concern,” he growled, his voice low as his eyes hooded.

“I never said a damn thing about your sex life, Barnes.” You shook your head, already regretting stepping in at all. It was pointless – foolish even – to think that he might be appreciative of your intervention, of the fact that despite the tense history between you, you would never stoop as low as that woman did.

You bent down and picked up the gym bag you’d let slip from your hands. “If you want to be treated like shit, then by all means, have fun with your next one night stand. I'll steer clear of the fallout.”

You started to head back towards the gym when you heard Bucky groan rather dramatically behind you. You paused, glancing over your shoulder as Bucky hit a fit against the wall.

“What is your—”

“You are so goddamn infuriating!” Bucky snapped and your jaw dropped.

“Are you serious right now? Me? I’m the infuriating one?” You released your bag, letting the weights hit the floor as you stalked back to him. “You’re the ungrateful jerk who just yelled at the one person who bothered to stand up for you!”

Bucky gritted his teeth. “I never asked you to do that!”

He was only inches away. His breath hot against your cheeks. You could see the dark blue specs in his eyes from this close. The blacks of his eyes nearly consuming him whole.

“Maybe that’s your problem, Barnes,” you sneered. “You think you need to ask for help, that it’s earned or deserved, but it’s not! Sometimes people just want to help you, you asshole! Sometimes, people can be good and can care about you without expecting that you—”

Your back hit the wall as Bucky’s weight pressed to your chest. His lips crashed against yours, his hand slipping into your hair. Everything in him moved with purpose, with adrenaline spiked into his veins and fury in his bones – but not his hands. Even as his lips hungrily devoured yours, his hands were gentle as they caressed the nape of you neck, as they slid down your hips.

What surprised you more – was that you kissed him back. Your hand clutched into the thin fabric of his t-shirt, your lips parting for him as he brushed him tongue over yours. It was the kind of kiss that left you feel dizzy – like you’d been under for too long, your lungs aching, and still you had no desire for air.

When he finally did draw back, it was only when he was breathless. His chest panting in time with yours, his forehead dipping to rest against your collarbone. He paused for a moment, even as his fingers gently pressed into the nape of your neck as if upon keys of a piano.

“I don’t know why I did that,” Bucky confessed.

You chuckled. “I do.”

He lifted his head and you smiled when you saw his lips were pink and swollen. You brushed a hand over his cheek.

“Because even when I hated you, I still cared about you, Barnes. It’s not black and white. It’s messy and it’s grey. But I can handle a little mess, can’t you?”

Bucky swallowed, slow to the smile that crept upon his lips, but still—it came. “Yeah, I can handle messy.”

When he kissed you again, he didn’t hesitate.

[oc-cafe]

A Flower Yet To Bloom (Episode 1)

Warning: This story will have death, violence and angst and mentions of blood, there will be mentions of blades and weapons, please proceed with caution.

I should be paying attention, but honestly I’ve heard the Lord’s proposal a thousand times. Instead, my focus is on my sister, Zuri. 

She looks so free, sitting outside with her back to the courts, mother wanted me to accompany her to court today. This will all be mine someday, so I need to learn the policies and how to rule over such a large kingdom, how to not be swayed by gentle words, but I grew up in the courts, I knew the rules before I could talk. I think my mother just wants me to learn how to appear regal. How to not run out to the fields anytime and everytime that I am bothered. I know she only wants the best for me, but I find this bit tedious every single time. I do not need to know how to appear polite and how to mask what I mean to be a good ruler. I just need to know how to listen and how to be unbiased. 

“And that’s why I want the courts to be exclusive,” The Lord finally concludes and mother looks even more weary than when we started.

 “I understand, Lord Abbas, but the courts are meant to be the home of justice and changing that will lead to more problems than  solutions. Perhaps if you feel uncomfortable coming to court, you can send another member from your house?” My mind immediately  flashes to the third of the Lord’s children, Eren. 

Imagining Eren in court is…funny to say the least. Eren’s built for the sunny outdoors, she would hate being forced to stay in court.. He’s been trained for battle his whole life, you can hardly blame her. 

I am so lost in my thoughts that I don’t notice the messenger bursting into court. She looks breathless, I recognise her as sloan, our newest pager. She looks like she should be the one sitting on my seat. Her dark dreads remind me of the deep depths of the ocean, and she always carries herself impeccably, even in a simple white messenger’s outfit, she demands your full attention. Or perhaps it’s the abrupt nature of her entrance. 

“I apologise,my queen, but this cannot wait.” There is worry on her face, she looks at my mother urgently. Dread washes over me, and judging by mother’s expression, she’s been caught off guard. 

“The court will reassemble shortly,” I call out. Mother looks grateful, and whispers her thanks, but her voice breaks. 

Why does it break? What news does Sloan carry?  ♕

My questions are left unanswered. Mother is swept away by her guards as soon as the court is dismissed, no one allows me to meet her. In the end, I am practically thrown outside, and I find myself wandering around the gardens. 

Perhaps a talk with Zuri will clear my head? I run down to the shore, she sits quietly, sketching in her little book like she always does. Books are spread out around her,  bowls of food lie unguarded for the servants’ children to take as they play around her. It’s quaint and strangely cosy. 

I tap her shoulder three times, our code. She turns her head, a lazy smile on her face, “Escaped finally?” she signs.

“No, you’re talking to a ghost” I sign back. “Liar,” Zuri says. And I laugh, no matter how many years pass, Zuri is still my favourite person. She’s my older sister, my rival, a headache, and a menace. I love her so much. 

Her wedding is fast approaching but until father returns there can be no discussion of it. So she spends her days, lying in wait, trying desperately to not be a whiny, lovesick teenager, she mostly fails but we let her believe that we don’t hear her long suffering sighs at night.  

I sit down next to her, and listen to her talk about her paintings. I tell her about the Lord’s proposal mostly, I just skirt around the real bother. The mysterious message carried by Sloan. As I listen to her talk about a painting of Arno, her beloved, my mind wanders. Could the message be related to our ongoing war with the Mensonges? Maybe father was coming home? But father couldn't come home until the war was over, until a treaty was signed or a kingdom conquered, mother wouldn’t allow it. I wouldn’t allow it. 

Sharp nails dig into my flesh and I whimper, Zuri really needs to stop doing that. “Are you listening?” she asks.

“Of course! What kind of sister do you think I am?” 

The kind who doesn't listen. “The distracted kind,” Zuri’s voice is poisonous, and her grip is bruising but her words are true. 

“I’m not-” 

“Pardon me princesses, but the queen has requested your presence,” A meek voice speaks up, and I smile, thankful for the intervention.  

“Of course, we’ll be there in a second,” Still angry, Zuri waves the servant away but they’re determined, they don’t move.

Curious, I turn to see which servant would stand their ground while facing the wrath of one of the scariest people I know. 

“Hey princess,” Eren’s lopsided grin greets me. I rush towards them, probably a bit too childlike for the heir of the throne, but at that moment the only thing I can think about is Eren.

 Eren with her ridiculously pretty brown eyes, and her bit too long hair. They meet me halfway, my arms wrap around them and a laugh escapes me. Their mere presence melts away my worries from the morning. He’s gained more muscle and is darker due to his time at sea but she’s still Eren. My Eren. 

I pull away and smile, if she’s back it must mean that the war has finally ended? Right? It must mean that father can come home right?  I think it wise not to mention the war just yet.  Instead, I follow Eren and the servant that came to fetch us up to mother’s quarters. 

“He’s arriving tonight.” Mother tells us, I haven’t seen her this happy since the war started. for once, We’re alone in her chambers. 

For a moment, My mother  isn’t Raheesa the queen of Aiga, she’s just a mother. She’s just a lovesick girl waiting for her lover, just another woman. It suits her. 

“Shouldn’t we tell the kingdom that the war’s over?" I ask. Far too many innocent citizens have been employed to fight, so the kingdom will be overjoyed to find that they’re coming back.

“We should, and we will, just  breathe for a moment. Oh! He’s coming back Raja! It’s been so long!” She  looks ten years younger, and I smile as she embraces Zuri and I. Our family will finally be complete after so long! It’s surreal. After so many years, there will finally be a king in Aiga’s court, Zuri will finally be able to marry Arno. If a few happy tears fall, we don’t address it. 

♕

Mother decides that she wants to announce the end of the war herself. We accompany her down till the townsquare and we cheer just as loudly as the townspeople when she tells them. It’s over. Ten years of trauma all neatly tied up. It feels a little too simple, but what do I know? I had never been allowed on the front lines. I keep my doubts to myself and watch everyone celebrate, mother’s barely  audible when she tells us all about the ball. I wonder if Zuri hears her. Does she worry as well?

♕

Author's note: IT'S HERE. I HAVE UPLOADED IT. BE PROUD. I'm aware that this is, mmm not adequate and too short but I personally think that the second chapter (coming next saturday, 23rd of July) is much more thing happeny but I like what I wrote! Shoutout to mod Sam for proofreading and hyping me up, oh and thankyou my irl sister for proofreading as well.

Taglist (send an ask to be added or removed): @thisismisogynoir @ghostdragoncookie @mina-globes-and-maps @quakeismyhero @ialmostdonothingnew @gravitational-potential-energy @death-and-the-lady13 @otbyosh @fierreth-who @mister-finally-found-himself @coffeelovinggayidiot @pinkyy-promises @sassychaostrash @lesbiansayaishii @planet-alicorn @cool-way-to-die @brkh96 @i-likestuff86

[widow-maximov]

Drunken Truth

Pairing: Wanda x Natasha x Reader

Warning: Language, fluff, a little bit of angst.

Summary: One of the Starks parties turn into a truth or dare; Can your drunk self resist telling the truth?

Word count: 3.7k

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Parties were never your thing but alcohol definitely was, there wouldn't be a time after a rough mission that you just wanted to relax with a glass of wine in your hand but of course you couldn't since you had to be on your feet 24/7.

But today was the day that you didn't have to worry about the world for at least that short amount of time. It was a fancy party since it was very important to Tony, he needed some of those people to invest into him and keep up with all the damages we cause.

Preferably you would stay in your room binge watching some trash show and not worrying about anything that day but since Natasha along with Wanda will be there, that was your motivation to get up and dress up.

You fancied both of them but you never had the courage to confess so you decided to just keep those feelings away, this way you wouldn't ruin your friendship with both redheads.

You dressed up with this dark red dress that really complimented your figure, everyone you met has always told you that red tends to bring out the devil in you so with a smirk you stared at yourself in the mirror.

"Look at you Y/n!" Someone from behind you spoke up, you looked where they were standing with a smile as you spoke.

"Thank you, Bucky"

He nodded as he walked over to you and you faced him "Thank you for agreeing to take me to the party"

You linked your arm with his as the both of you walked to the elevator from your room "Of course, I know how you feel about parties so I don't mind being your moral support"

You squeezed his arm as you smiled "There need to be more people like you"

He chuckled "Sexy and confident? Yeah I know"

You giggled as the two of you stepped inside the elevator "Confident yes but sexy? I will argue with you on that"

He pouted which made you laugh enough to cause him to laugh with you "Not that I'm complaining but why didn't you ask Carol to walk you?"

You looked confusingly at him "Isn't she on a mission?"

He shook his head "She got back this morning"

"Why wasn't I inform!?" You asked shocked as your gaze was focused on him.

"I'm not sure, isn't she like your best friend?" He questioned you and when the door opened he pulled you along with him into the loud hallway that led to where the party was held.

The first thing the two of you noticed were the strangers all over the place, you didn't even this room existed until today, you scanned the room for the blonde that you haven't see and dragged Bucky towards her.

She didn't notice you until you practically screamed her name and jumped into her arms, Carol was your best friend and the two of you nearly did everything together but then when you met Wanda and Natasha, things changed as you started to spend your time equally between the three.

"Why didn't you tell me you was back today!" You asked when you pulled away from the hug.

She smiled at you "Because I know you would try to find a way to not come here" She eyed you and smirked "And not look this good.."

You chuckled "Thank you but have you seen yourself!"

The smirk never disappeared "Of course, I own a mirror"

You slapped her arm playfully, just as you were about to speak again, your head whipped to the person who cleared their throat "Oh my! I'm so sorry Natty!"

You walked over to her and hugged her "I didn't notice the two of you talking"

She smiled at your hug as she let her eyes close when your perfume hit her nose "It's okay Y/n/n"

You pulled away as you looked around and frowned "Where is witchy"

Natasha's eyes never left your face "I saw Vision talking to her not long ago" Carol answered as she observed Natasha and you.

Natasha not paying attention to anything else but you "You definitely look good in red"

You looked back at Natasha, she had a sly smile across her lips, you could feel yourself blush at her words and with a huge smile as you tucked your hair behind your ear "Thank you Natty"

You eyed her "That dress suits you, you should wear dresses more often"

Natasha chuckled "Right because it's easier to get out off?"

Natasha's arm was still snaked around you, from how close she was and the way the words escaped so easily without hesitation made you hot "Easy access as well"

Carol nearly choked on her drink as she raised her brows at what you said, Natasha's eyes were focused on you as a small smirk settled on her lips, you looked at Carol with a smile and gently pulled yourself away from Natasha's grip.

"I'll go find witchy before the robot gets too friendly" You looked between them and walked off with a smile.

Natasha finally looked at Carol after you were out of sight "Natty?"

Natasha shrugged "What? It sounds better when she says it"

Carol laughed and shook her head "You and Wanda are so whipped for Y/n"

She earned a eye roll from Natasha "If I didn't know any better she's whipped for you"

This sent Carol into a fit of laughter "Me?" She kept laughing, trying her best to catch a breath "Oh Natty, you are funny"

"Yeah don't call me that"

⸻⸻⋙☸🗲⋘⸻⸻

You were able to locate Wanda, she had a smile across her face but that smile didn't meet her eyes, like it did with you around. You walked over to her and when she noticed you, the look across her face was more of 'Thank god'.

"Witchy, I need you" You spoke as she sigh with relief, you looked over at Vision who was too close for your liking.

She gripped onto your arm "Oh of course Y/n/n" She looked at Vision with an awkward smile "Sorry Vis, I have to go, catch you later"

He nodded and disappeared into a wall, you really hated when he did that "I really dislike when he does that, there is a door for a reason"

Wanda giggled at you as she unglued herself from your arm "Thank you"

You shook your head to dismiss her "You don't need to, I just wanted to get drinks, Natasha is busy with Carol and I know you would be up for some fun"

"Natasha with Carol?" She questioned as she looked in their direction.

You nodded "Yeah, they were talking and I didn't even notice Natasha at first"

The two of you made it to the bar as she leaned on it and you ordered something to drink "So, what's up with you and Carol?"

You raised your brows at her "Me and Carol? I'm not sure I'm following"

She observed you as you took a sip of your drink "Like are you guys a couple?"

Now you was the one choking on your drink as you started to laugh "Witchy, you are hilarious, she is my best friend that's all"

You looked into her eyes "Plus I already like someone"

Wanda and Natasha often spoke about you and how much they would want the three of you to be together, whenever you would spend time separately with them, they would miss your presence the second you left.

You placed your empty glass as you walked over to the dance floor and started to dance, you felt slowly getting tipsy and eventually you had gotten drunk, of course not wasted but drunk enough to say too much.

Even with dancing, you weren't sobering up and that was an issue but that wasn't your problem in that moment, what you cared about was forgetting the world around you and just having fun.

Some of the team danced along with you but gotten tired eventually, the party did die down a little so you ended up sitting on the couch, next to Bucky as the two of you laughed at some stories he told.

Natasha and Wanda stood next to each other as they both eyed you and Bucky, they were slightly jealous as they wanted to make you laugh like that.

Thor was the only talkative person at the moment so he stood in the middle "Let's play truth or dare!"

Your attention turned towards Thor and you raised your beer up "Yes!"

Everyone shrugged and joined in, Carol taking her place in your lap, people often thought the two of you dated by how Carol acted but she was actually always like this.

The two redheads sat near you but it was impossible to sit by you as everyone took their seat next to you, you pulled Carol further into you causing a yelp to came out from her mouth, this definitely didn't go unnoticed by the two redheads.

You looked at her with a what look and she spoke "You didn't warm me"

You giggled at her being childish "You was cutting my blood circulation to my legs"

She rolled her eyes as her attention turned to Thor "So who is going first"

"You since you suggested it" Tony spoke up as he sipped his drink comfortably from where he was.

Thor shrugged not really caring "Okay"

The game went on for sometime before it was your turn, Carol was holding onto you tightly, it was her turn before you so you just sat there waiting for her to pick one.

"Truth" She answered, you laughed which caused her to look down at you.

"Look at you being a pussy and picking truth"

She rolled her eyes and looked at the person who was giving her a truth "Is it true that you and Y/n are dating?"

Everyone in the room was looking from you to Carol, you shook your head "No, she wishes"

"Why do everyone think we are dating?" She asked a little annoyed at the team.

Wanda looked at Carol, she couldn't keep her mouth shut "Maybe because you are always all over her"

You looked at Wanda you could see her tense up, Natasha's reaction was shocked as well. Carol narrowed her eyes but Bucky jumped in and turned his head to you "Y/n Truth or dare?"

You sighed as you smiled at him "Dare"

"Oh look at yo-" Before she could finish, you covered her mouth with your hand which caused her to shut up.

"I dare you to give someone a hickey"

You laughed as you shook your head, you didn't feel shy at all so you blurted out "I have no idea how"

You felt yourself sober up in that moment, no one said anything, they just stared at you as if you just said you killed someone. Natasha looked at Wanda and they both had an evil smirk.

Carol had a sly smirk "I can teach you"

You chuckled but shook your head "No thanks, now move I need another drink"

She laughed, she loved annoying you and flirting with you, usually you would flirt back for jokes, and that's all it was, you was too mesmerised by the two redheads to look at anyone else.

You shoved her off and started to walk towards the bar when Thor stopped you "Y/n you can always try Asgard alcohol"

You stopped in your tracks as you walked over to him with a smirk and grabbed his drink, taking a big gulp, he tried to stop you but it was too late.

Wanda stood up as she walked over to you worried "Y/n are you okay дорогой (Darling)"

This was a lot different than what you were used to, your pupils dilated a little bit too much for someone who drinks alcohol, you looked at her as your vision doubled.

She looked at Thor as her eyes narrowed "You're really stupid sometimes, why would you give alcohol to a human, especially to someone who never tried it before"

He shrugged, being a little scared of the woman in front of him "She said she wanted to drink"

You nearly fell when you tried to walk as your legs felt numb but Wanda caught you in time, she looked back at Natasha "Could you please get her water детка (baby)"

Natasha nodded as her eyes darted to you for a split second and she walked off to the bar to get you water, you laughed as you stared at Wanda "You have pretty eyes"

You slurred your words, and then looked at Carol who was laughing "Stop laughing you...-"

You forgot your insult as you frowned in confusion, making Tony even laugh at you "Okay! That's enough for you дорогой (Darling)"

You nodded with a huge smile "Yes, let's go sleep!"

You screamed as Wanda dragged you towards Natasha who held the water in her hand "Awww lookk at you redhead, you're so cute to bring me water!"

Natasha had a small smile as she forced you to drink all of that water, you didn't protest, you were being held by both of them as they stared at you drinking water to see if you would be okay.

You gave them a thumbs up and they started to walk towards the elevator, you looked down at the floor and then looked at both of them "You know I heard redheads are really crazy"

Natasha looked at Wanda as she raised her brows at your outburst "Really? Crazy how?"

You smiled at them "Crazy in bed, but that's what I heard, yous might need to show me.."

Wanda was trying hard to keep in her laughter, you was always shy around them, never tried to step over the line with something and respected their wishes.

"Oh дорогой (darling) you are something else"

You giggled "I know especially when I have no idea how-" You hiccupped "To give hickeys"

Natasha held you strongly against her "Y/n/n let's go sleep and tomorrow we will talk about this okay?"

You nodded and slowly started to fall asleep in their arms as they walked you towards your room, Wanda used her powers to carry you which helped when you fell asleep.

They both placed you down slowly on the bed, your eyes shot open as you hit your bed and smiled at the sight of them "You two are sooo hot"

Wanda giggled at your state "Go sleep дорогой (Darling)"

You nodded "Only if you say something in Russian again"

Natasha shook her head at you and smiled "спокойной ночи, принцесса (Goodnight Princess)"

You reached for her hand and placed it on your throat "I have no idea what you said but say it again and choke me to it"

Natasha raised her eyebrows with shock at your very blunt response whilst Wanda laughing, you turned your head towards Wanda "You can give me hickeys, I wouldn't mind"

Natasha's smile never fades, as she moved her hand from your throat to your cheek "Tomorrow okay Y/n/n?"

You nodded and closed your eyes at her touch, Wanda leaned down and placed a kiss on your forehead and Natasha placed one on your cheek, you was out within seconds, they both stared at you for couple minutes and then looked back at each other trying their hardest to not laugh too loud.

⸻⸻⋙☸🗲⋘⸻⸻

Waking up in the morning was the worse, the headache that was there after was more horrible than vomiting, you wanted to sleep all day but you knew you couldn't so you had gotten up and searched your room for any painkillers which you did find.

Everything slowly started to come back to you, especially what you said to Wanda and Natasha, you cringed at yourself and mentally scold yourself for even taking Thor's suggestion.

You showered and dressed yourself in comfy clothes than the dress you slept in. Your plan was to avoid the two redheads as much as possible, even if you lived in the same place as them, you would try.

You knew their schedule so maybe it wouldn't be so hard and it did work for three days, you managed to avoid the two without any run ins.

Even Carol, you did see her from time to time but you knew she was friends with them and if you stayed too long, this would end badly with them asking questions or following you.

You were afraid of the rejection from the two women, you felt like they would never be interested in you and since you were drank, they played along with you so you wouldn't be hurt.

You spent your days with Bucky and he was very friendly with you but you knew he never was interested in you so you accepted his friendliness but the redheads weren't so much keen of this.

They knew you were avoiding them and that only made them upset, not really understanding why. Every time they would try to find you, it was as if you disappeared into thin air or they just missed you, this time they were determined to find you and confront you.

They were able to locate you with Bucky, the two of you were laughing and from time to time he would place his hand on your thigh, each time it would be higher and from what they seen you wasn't so much bothered about it.

Eventually you left him and that's when they took their chance, as you rounded the corner, Natasha pushed you against the wall and Wanda restrained you with her powers.

You looked with fear in your eyes at the sudden movement but slightly relaxed when you noticed the two redheads, but you noticed that they weren't smiling but rather angry-ish.

You chuckled slightly "Heh, Wands Nat, what you guys doing?"

Wanda was the first to speak, as Natasha analysed you "Why have you been avoiding us?"

You couldn't move at all so you just looked at both of them "I'm not avoidin-"

Natasha stepped forward "Don't lie Y/n/n"

You sighed as you looked away from them "Can you at least let me go?"

They looked at each other "It hurts" your voice was small and Wanda's expression softened as she let you go.

You were still looking away from them as you spoke "I know how this will end, the two of you will end up trying to politely reject me so I rather just avoid it and pretend"

"Why do you think we would reject you?" Wanda asked as she walked to where Natasha was.

You was avoiding to look at them but with every courage in your body, you looked from Wanda to Natasha "I assumed I never was your type.."

They both looked at each other as you looked away from them, the silence was loud enough to tell you that you was right, but Natasha took the first step towards you, as she placed her finger under your chin to make you look at her.

Wanda stood next to her as she took your hand and intertwined her fingers with yours, Natasha sighed with relief "You assumed wrong принцесса (Princess)"

Natasha's hand moved to your cheek as Wanda spoke "We thought we weren't your type"

You raised your brows "What make you think that?"

"With Carol and Bucky all over you, we thought maybe you're crushing on one of them"

You looked from Natasha to Wanda "Bucky knows that I'm into girls and Carol, I'm not sure what's up with Carol lately but I can assure that they aren't that someone I like"

"We might need different type of reassurance" Natasha pulled you into her, leaving some space for Wanda.

Wanda pressed her front against your back, trapping you between herself and Natasha, she moved her lips to your ear "Who is that someone you like дорогой (Darling)"

You opened your mouth but Wanda was quick to act, she moved your hair away from your neck and attached her lips as she gently sucked on the soft skin causing you to moan, which was muffled by Natasha's lips being pressed against yours.

Her lips moved from yours to your jaw to your neck, causing you to move your head towards Wanda as she kiss you this time, her kiss was quick but gently, leaving you wanting more.

Natasha spoke to your ear this time "Yeah принцесса (Princess) who is that someone you like"

You swallowed the moan that was creeping up, speaking this time "It's the two of you.."

Those words brought smirks across their lips, they looked at each other and back at you, you were a mess, an obvious blush across your cheeks and now red marks on your neck, they knew what they were doing to you.

"I think we should take this reassurance to your room принцесса (Princess)"

You nodded eagerly at the two women, causing them to laugh at you, you smirked as you tried to tease them "It's cute that the two of you are jealous of Carol and Bucky"

Natasha stopped laughing at your words, her famous smirk never leaving "Even if we are, at least we will be teaching you how to give a hickey"

You closed your eyes, feeling the embarrassment at your words "I'm never drinking around yous"

"I think it's cute when you want Nat to choke you and have me give you hickeys"

You slipped out from between them and walked away from them, feeling more embarrassed causing them to giggle at you, a smile never leaving your face.

You were finally happy, having to admit the feelings you were suppressing for such a long time and have them reciprocated was the best feeling. You knew you would stick with them through everything because they were your world and you wouldn't have it any other way.

Even if you had to embarrass yourself first causing it to be the best thing in your life...

⸻⸻⋙☸🗲⋘⸻⸻

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Tag-list: @diaryoflife,@wandanatblogs,@madamevirgo, @eilarch

[ddarker-dreams]

Contractual Obligations II. Yan Childe x Reader

Warnings: Unwanted physical contact, general yandere themes. Word count: 2.2k. →Part I. 

The sound of heavy, wooden doors shutting behind you feels like a premonition of what is to come. 

Fiddling with your skirt, your eyes dart around, taking in Liyue’s signature rich architecture. Fatui building or not, they still must abide by Liyue’s aesthetic. You thought being surrounded by your home’s design would bring solace. Warm shades of mahogany with gold motifs are illuminated by paper lanterns, giving a glow that would be otherwise pleasant, if not for the circumstances. 

You had anticipated a long wait. Ekaterina, upon hearing your name, informed that you would be seen without delay. The others in the lobby of Northland Bank grumbled at this, much to your embarrassment. It’s no secret that getting appointments here is a time-consuming endeavor. Sailors, business owners, and Qixing’s personal assistants alike had to wait. 

For whatever reason, you were allowed to skip ahead of the queue. The glaring special treatment is bound to spread rumors. Now, here you stand, unable to quell your nerves. This is no different than strolling into a ravenous lion’s den. The vulnerability you feel now makes you wish you were facing a carnivorous beast, at least then you might have hope to defend yourself. 

Even with the unexpected privilege of not waiting in the lobby, you’ve been standing here in this private room for a while now. Thirty minutes is your guess, impatience creeping up on you. Your shoulders slump, a sigh leaving your lips. There’s lots of work to be done when you’re done here, time a precious resource. Wasting it to get answers from the blight on your life is infuriating. 

Figures, the one time you need to speak with Childe, he’s nowhere to be seen. Every other time he’d show up at the least opportune moments. He has a habit of appearing uninvited and ruining what would’ve been a pleasant day. Lost in thought, you consider all that must be done when you return to your parent’s shop, too occupied with your thoughts to notice a looming figure. Two hands go out to cover your eyes, the world suddenly going dark. Heart pounding against your chest, the touch is too unexpected, heat rising in your body as protection.

“Guess who?” Childe hums into your ear with a singsong tone. His scent reminds you of the ocean, fresh and light. 

You frown, noticing how close he is to you, his chest pressed against your back. Does Childe not know what personal space is? “The source of my problems.” 

He lets out a scandalized gasp and slinks in front of you. Childe boasts a lighthearted demeanor, mirth dancing in his eyes, and a tight-lipped smile on his face. Inauthentic as ever, you note. You’ve seen what lays dormant behind the thin veil of boyish charm. The infinite darkness that you never wish to see again. He’s still closer to your person than you’d prefer, but pointing it out won’t do any good, so you decide to overlook it. Picking your battles wisely is vital when speaking with Childe.

“Is that the greeting I get, after rushing all the way here?” Childe sighs. Before you could respond, you notice a new scent in the air, unmistakably leather. It takes you a moment to identify the source. A thin, wispy trail of smoke rises from Childe’s leather gloves that had been touching you just prior. Does that not hurt? Childe catches you staring and laughs. 

“So you didn’t notice,” Childe sounds amused, lifting his hands to inspect them. Raising his hands to his mouth, he bites the tip of his gloves and pulls them off. “Looks like I caught you.” 

He nods to your necklace which is tucked beneath your blouse, scarlet light shining through the fabric. Instinctually, you cover it with your hand, the jewel warm to the touch. Childe’s abrupt physical touch had activated your Vision. It’s only when you take a few deep breaths that the telling glow fades away, but the damage is already done. Did he plan this on purpose? Whatever the case may be, Childe is the last person you want having this information.

Sensing your apprehension, he speaks up. “Relax, I already assumed as much, but my interest is undeniably piqued. Why hide your Vision? This isn’t Inazuma, I was under the impression Visions were revered in Liyue.” 

You don’t owe Childe an explanation, but your intuition tells you he’s not going to let this go anytime soon. This isn’t what you came here for, you remind yourself. Don’t let him distract you.

“It’s a long story,” comes your dismissive answer, glancing around to see if anyone else had seen, even though it’s only you two in here. “Can I talk about what I came here for, please?” 

Childe closes his eyes, humming while considering your proposition. Instead of walking behind the desk in the room, he sits on a bench against the wall, motioning for you to come over. At your blatant hesitation, he decides to pester you, which doesn’t come as a shock. 

“What’s up with that look? There’s plenty of room,” Childe pats the spot next to him for extra emphasis. A dangerous twinkle shines in his eyes with a mischievous smile to match it. “Though, I wouldn’t complain should you come to sit on my lap instead.” 

Your cheeks flush brightly, a weak glare being sent his way which he laughs at. “I would never…” 

“Sure, sure. Come over already, it’s the least you could do, considering you just scorched a pair of my favorite gloves.” Childe’s carefree tone doesn’t match his scolding words, stretching out his arm on the back of where you were supposed to sit. Gingerly stepping over the smoking gloves on the floor, you wonder if it’s somehow a fire hazard, but assume Childe’s Hydro Vision could put it out if need be. You stop just short of sitting down, gnawing on your bottom lip at this new internal dilemma. Glaring daggers at his outstretched arm doesn’t seem to faze him. 

“The offer still stands.” He teases, leading you to huff and take your seat by him. You try to ignore the close physical proximity, but it’s rather difficult, as your thighs are touching. Is this a common theme for Snezhnayans? Why is Childe so needlessly touchy? Maybe you don’t want to know. Childe drums his fingers, staring at you with dangerous intent. 

You’ve wasted enough time here. Hoping to move on to the pressing issue, your lips part without further delay. “So, as I was--”

Childe places a finger to your lips, in an act that leaves you speechless. What is his problem? Furrowing your eyebrows together, you have half a mind to scorch the finger in front of you, but dismiss the thought when remembering his strength. Damn him for getting you riled up with such ease. 

“Uh uh uh,” Childe chastises with a shake of his head. “Not yet. Business can come later. First, you’re going to tell me about that.” 

You don’t need to look down to see he’s pointing at your hidden necklace. “It’s... personal. I have no reason to tell you.” 

“Oh, sweet [First]. I wasn’t asking. You did just burn my gloves, didn’t you? Instead of charging you Mora, which -- no offense -- you don’t have enough of to replace it, I want an explanation. I think that’s a fair deal.” 

So he is going to hold that mishap over you. Messing around with a debt collector and money seems counterintuitive, giving a quick explanation the plausible option. Whatever it takes to get him to drop the sensitive topic. Childe must have a semblance of tact to have made it this far in life after all. 

“Fine, fine. It’s not really that remarkable a reason. I have a younger sister, Chunghua. We used to be inseparable as kids. More than anything, I just wanted her to be happy. You’d do anything to accomplish that, y’know? It was… all my fault, really. She wanted a Vision like mine more than anything -- hair accessories, Mora, pretty outfits -- she never cared for that. 

I had no idea why I was given a Vision and not her. She was the one who prayed to every Archon at night for it, the one who burnt incense and gave offerings, not me. I could see her gradually losing hope every day that she woke up without one, like a piece of her was breaking off. At meals, she’d just… stare, silently, at the Vision around my neck. I don’t blame her for starting to hate me. I didn’t notice until it was too late.”

Taking a deep breath, your eyes fall to your lap. “I only wanted to cheer her up. To see her smile like she used to. When I first got my Vision, Chunghua would ask me to do these little tricks. Forming animals or whatever, stuff kids like. Anyways… I tried doing it again one morning. Needless to say, it didn’t go well, she practically screeched at me. I had no idea that was how she felt. But, yeah. That’s why I hide my Vision. See, not that interesting, right?” 

Childe’s expression feels impossible to read. You’re not sure why you even shared so much, especially with him, but his lack of interruption made you keep going. Maybe you weren’t expecting him to sit perfectly still and listen to every word. Whatever the case, you clear your throat, desperate to clear the gloomy atmosphere. 

“She would’ve reacted the same eventually,” Childe says after a moment of deliberation. You tilt your head, the serious answer was unexpected. “That’s what I think, though only older siblings could understand.”

There’s a brief tenderness in his words that leaves you speechless. If he’s acting, you have to commend his abilities, because right now it almost feels like he’s being genuine. Playing with a strand of your hair, you look past him and clear your throat.

“Yes, well, I suppose you’re right.” 

Childe’s somber appearance twists into a more impish visage. “Why don’t I give Chunghua a talking to? It’s a shame seeing your cute face so sullen.” 

Mortified, you shake your head. “There’s no need for that.” 

“Hmm… a shame. I could really take care of everything if you just let me.” 

“Somehow I doubt that,” you shrug with a frown. “What you could help me with is this ridiculous situation at the shop! Why are there Fatui guards outside the front doors? It’s scaring away customers.” 

“Oh, that’s what this is about?” 

Unbelievable. Childe continues to test your patience at every turn. After your previous conversation outside Liyue, which you’re still hoping was a bad joke, you’d noticed an increased presence of Fatui around the shopping district. That was bad enough for business. Now that they’re stationed right outside your parent’s shop, it’s far worse. Rumors have begun to circulate that you’re somehow involved with the Fatui. This has Childe’s doing written all over it.

“Why else would I be here?” 

He smiles and you immediately regret the rhetorical question. “Because you missed me, of course.” 

“I missed when there weren’t Fatui around the shop. Please, I don’t know what you did, but it’s going to be harder to get money for...” you gulp as if saying it cements the reality of your situation, but power through. “Paying off the loan with this drop in revenue.”

“Tempting as that is, I’m already happy with the results. I got you to come to me and learned more about you. From my position, this is a sizeable gain.” 

Everything from your head to your toes feels hot as if molten lava is stirring inside. He’s not taking you seriously, like the time at the stream and all the times before that. Memories flash in your mind. Your father hunched over letters containing bills, frowning, hair going greyer by the day. Your mother, sneaking out when she thinks you and your sister are asleep to pawn off her old jewelry. Even Chunghua, who offered to take time away from her education to help at the shop. It hits you like a pile of bricks, heart twisting painfully and tears threatening to spill from your eyes. 

“What do I have to do,” Your voice is so low that Childe has to careen his head to hear it. He blinks, incredulous, waiting for further clarification. Each breath you take feels like a losing battle, your composure threatening to shatter. “For you to stop… whatever this is. I’ll do anything. Give anything. Please, just leave my family out of it.” 

Childe crosses his legs and leans in closer to you, arm secured tight around your shoulder.

“Didn’t I tell you already?” 

His breath is warm against you, lips ghosting over the skin of your neck. He presses his lips softly against your pulse. Smiling, he notices how it quickens underneath his touch, all too pleased with your physical reactions. 

“That what I want to take is you.” 

[helpimhyperfixating]

A Writer’s Trouble - Jotaro x Reader

Word Count: 3353

You were a writer. Quietly in class just writing whatever scenes came to your head when the material being taught was too complicated for you to understand or too boring. And at home, you busied yourself with fanfiction every now and then. When you enjoy shows, why not write some fan content for them right?

"Miss Y/N!"

The sound of your name being called made you shoot up in your seat, eyes wide.

All eyes of the class were on you, the teacher holding a stern expression. "That better be notes that you are taking." She crossed her arms and your cheeks started to burn slightly while you frantically nodded, not finding your voice to verbally answer. Clearly the teacher was not convinced by the look she gave you, but she just let it slide and continued on with the lesson.

After what felt like forever, the bell rung for lunch and as you were starting to pack up, suddenly two people surrounded your little table. Looking up, you saw two girls who were notoriously popular standing next to you. One sat down in the seat next to you while the other dragged a chair in front of your table and sat down right in front of you, a sweet smile on her face.

"Hi!" The one in front started and you leaned back a little.

"H-Hi?"

"We noticed you were writing something in class and we were just curious what."

This made you blink a few times in surprise. Why would they be interested in what a random girl is writing? "Why?"

This time, the one sitting next to you spoke up. "Well you see, I've been having trouble finding books I like recently. The ones in the school library are not really what I want but I snuck a peek of what you were doing in class just now and your writing seemed really good!" This caused a small blush to erupt on your cheeks. Not only because of the random compliment that came out of nowhere, but more so because of the fact she read what you had been writing. During class you were bored and your mind had drifted so you had written a random romantic scenario, and now she had read that?

"O-Oh?" You squeaked. She gave you a grin and you swallowed. "Uhm, thanks I guess."

"Could I read more?"

The question caught you off guard and to be honest, you just wanted to have lunch. But it seemed like you were going to have to eat it here with these two cause they didn't seem to have any intent to go away.

"Sure..." You weren't too comfortable with sharing most of your writing but there were a few random scenes and scenarios you thought these two would enjoy that you didn't mind sharing. You saw them every morning in the gaggle hanging around Kujo so you figured they'd like some cheesy romantic stuff. Bending down to sift through your bag, you got out your map/folder filled with pages that held the scenes and sifted through them, pulling out a few. "Here but do-" they were snatched from your hands before you could finish your sentence. "...be careful with them."

"Of course, of course." They both just dismissively waved and started reading them. At least they didn't run off with them, that was a plus.

You still had no idea what they were up to and you figured it wasn't to suddenly make friends with you. But you always had a hard time turning people down and they were acting nice to you, so why shouldn't you act nice back?

While they read you just got your lunch out of your bag and started eating it. You had nothing better to do anyways.

Lunch was slowly coming to a close and both girls finished reading.

"Ohhh, that was so romantic~" The one in front of you wistfully mused out, holding her chin in her hand as she dreamily stared at the ceiling.

"Yes, it was so good!" The one next to you said. Maybe you should learn their names instead of referring to them as 'girl' and 'girl but sitting next to you'. "It almost makes me wish for more."

Raising a sceptical eyebrow, you looked at her, urging her to continue because you figured this was the whole reason they were here. "Well, since you write this I was wondering, do you take requests?~"

You hummed a bit, looking between the two. They shared a look and there was a glint in their eye that you recognised but couldn't recall where you had seen them look like that before. "I've never done so before but maybe. What would you want?"

"Could you write me in such a scene with Jojo!?" The one next to you blurted out all of a sudden, making you visibly flinch back from the sudden burst of noise.

"No no! Please write it with me! My personality fits perfectly with the one in this story already!"

You were now being barraged with requests of romantic scenarios and begging to write them, all the while you just sat, blinking.

Of course. Of course. They were Kujo fan girls #1 and #2 so of course they would want this. You never understood why they kept trying to win his affection when he oh so clearly showed he was not interested.

I mean, you could see the appeal. He was tall dark and handsome, and the thought of a stoic man who loves no one making an exception for you was prime romantic material. But even you - who was as dense as an oakwood plank - even you knew when something was hopeless. You had never pursued the man. You respected his privacy and wishes. To you, he was just another classmate who just so happened to be hounded by half the female population.

"Ehh..." You started, trying to stop the girls from losing their mind and drooling over the delinquent - who wasn't even present - right then and there.

It took a second but both girls stopped and expectantly turned to you. The pure stars in their eyes made it very hard for you to say what you were about to say but you had to.

"I don't mind writing something for you. But I can't write something with Kujo in it. It just makes me very uncomfortable to write real people into a romantic scenario without them knowing of it. It just feels wrong." You put your hand up in a surrendering and calming gesture, hoping that would help defuse the bomb that was surely being built judging from their expressions. "If you had his permission and you both wanted it then it is a different story, but-"

"I have his permission! Jojo loves me, so of course he would want this!" The girl in front burst out, only for her 'friend' to turn to her.

"That's not true, he loves me!"

"No, me!"

"Me!"

"Me!"

This continued on and you slowly slunk back in your seat. You would have sunken under the table and made your escape that way, but one of the girls was sitting right in your path of exit. You were literally caged in between two fighting tigers, getting more and more ready to bite each other's heads off.

Just then, the door slammed open and both girls instantly shut up. In stepped the precise person of discussion and you only sunk further down into your seat, just wanting to disappear and be left alone.

"Oh! Jojo!~"

"Jojo! Why don't you come sit with us! I missed you!"

Jotaro viewed the class, seeing just you three in it, only for him to stride over to his desk, grab something he had left behind, and walk back out. He only spared you all a single glance and dread settled in your stomach. You were sitting with the two girls he probably hated most since they pestered him day in day out. What if he thought you were part of them now as well? What if he started to hate you too? Would he beat you up if you happened to run into each other outside of school?

Just then, the bell rung and to your surprise, both girls just sighed and stood up, starting to walk back to their own spots and leaving you without any further begging or questions. It left you a bit confused and wary of why they so suddenly seemed to forget you turned down writing about their dreamboat but just shrugged it off, hoping that was that.

- - - -

Three weeks had passed just like that. The girls had left you alone after that weird lunch and thankfully enough, Kujo seemed no more aware of your existence than before. Life continued on as normal and you just stayed your happy, quiet self.

"Hey, Y/N!"

You smiled at your best friend who was sitting at a table in the cafeteria, obnoxiously waving at you.

Quickly hurrying over, you grabbed her hand and yanked it down, sending apologetic glances to the people who had turned their heads to see the commotion. "Do you have to be so loud every time, B/F?"

"Of course." She grinned before pulling you down to sit with her. The unexpected action caused you to yelp and lose your balance. Instead of sitting down as intended, you were now splayed over B/F's lap who was cackling loudly at you.

"Oi, this is your fault! Shut it!" You laughed back and playfully hit her shoulder, making her let out an obnoxious 'oww' and rub it as you sat up.

"Y/N, you're always so mean to me." She pouted and you rolled your eyes. If there is one thing you certainly weren't it was mean.

"Well how can I make it up to you then, my dearest?" You played along, clasping your hands in front of you in a begging manner.

"Let me read your latest brain creations." She grinned and you drew your lips into a thin line. She knew you preferred to keep most writing to yourself because by god, sometimes you would create some abominations you wouldn't want anyone in the world to see. These of course, were the ones B/F loved most, cause she could make fun of you for them. You didn't seem to have another choice for now though, since B/F would most likely do something way worse if you didn't comply.

"Alright, alright." You sighed and hoisted your bag up, pulling your map with writings out and starting to thumb through them. "Huh." You remarked, a bit surprised.

"What?"

"It's not there. I could have sworn I put it in here." You hummed, grabbing your history notebook. You had written this piece in history class and thus it should be in there. But when you reached the most recent page, it was torn out, an indication that you should have already put it in your folder. "Oh god. I must have dropped it somewhere..." You went absolutely pale and B/F burst out laughing.

"Sucks to be you I guess!"

You only groaned and let your head fall to the table. Now there was a cheesy romance scene lost in the school! You just hoped someone would pick up the random page and throw it in the trash.

- - - -

~One week later~

You were the first one sitting in the cafeteria for once. Just patiently waiting for B/F, you twiddled your thumbs as you were mindlessly tracing the grooves in the table in front of you.

A hand suddenly slammed down right in your vision and you jumped in your seat. Quickly tracing the arm up to be met with an angrily glaring pair of aqua blue eyes.

"Get up." Jotaro said in a deep and demanding tone but you were frozen in your seat, just staring at him in slight fear.

"Do I have to repeat myself, bitch?" He harshly stated and you quickly stood up, going to grab your bag so you could let him have this table and find a new one for you and your friend, but instead, his hand clamped down on your shoulder, bunching the fabric there and dragging you off with him, leaving your bag behind.

By now, all the people in the cafeteria were staring and you were just scared shitless. What the hell did you do for him to want to beat you up?! He dragged you with him out of the cafeteria, through the halls and out the doors, moving to the back of the school before throwing you in front of him.

You stumbled a bit but luckily stayed on your feet, quickly turning back to look at him, taking a few steps back until your back hit the wall behind you.

"What-"

"What the fuck do you think you're doing?" His voice cut you off and you shut your mouth. He seemed absolutely seething, towering over your tiny form as he glared from beneath his hat. It was quiet for a second, you just staring at him with wide eyes. "Well? Do I have to beat the shit out of you to get you to stop?" He threateningly raised his fist and you finally snapped out of your scared state, going defensive.

"No wait! I have no idea what you're talking about!" You frantically blurted out, waving your hands in front of yourself.

Jotaro, no less annoyed than before pulled something out of his jacket before slamming it right next to your head, holding it there. You squeaked at the action, now fully trapped with no escape.

"This is what I'm talking about." He was leaning down to be eye to eye with you now, caging you in with his arm right next to your head. His free hand was pointing to where he held his other hand and you turned your head to see what he meant.

Beneath his fingers lay a piece of paper, clearly crumpled up and unrolled several times. Unsure of what it was, you lifted your hand and took hold of the corner, making sure not to touch Jotaro's hand in fear that that would make him deck you.

Thankfully, he removed his hand from the wall and took a step back, giving you some personal space again and allowing you to grab the paper and read it.

Smoothening it out, you started reading.

Jotaro kept a close eye on your reactions, a little wary of how clueless you were appearing to be. As you started skimming the page, your eyes widened, almost immediately followed by a furrowing of your brows. You looked confused, but as your eyes got further and further down the page, it turned to angry.

Jotaro squinted his eyes at you, only to be surprised when you suddenly crumpled up the paper, pure hate radiating off of you. "Those goddamn bitches..." Of course, he never showed any surprise, keeping his stoic facade but to say Jotaro was intrigued was an understatement.

Turning to look at him, all fear you previously had was gone, replaced by anger. "This wasn't me." You held up the paper. Hitting it once, you ground your teeth. "Those girls stole my work and put your name in it."

Sceptical, Jotaro raised an eyebrow, still glaring down at you. But his stance was now more aloof than it was threatening and you took it as a sign to explain what you were talking about.

"Your fangirl number 1 and 2 asked me a while ago to write about you, I refused and it seems they took matters into their own hands." You turned around as you said that, looking at the school and glaring at it, as if that would do any good.

"So you didn't write it?" Crossing his arms, Jotaro was still looking down on you and you turned back to face him.

"Oh no, I did." You said and un-crumpled the paper, holding it up for him and pointing to a very specific point. "That's supposed to say 'B' though, not 'Jotaro'. I never write character names, just A and B cause honestly? fuck coming up with names."

Jotaro scoffed a little in amusement and then let out a heavy sigh. "It seemed too competent to come from them indeed."

You couldn't help but laugh loudly at his statement, accidentally causing you to drop the paper. "Woops." You said through laughs and picked it up, calming down as you stood up straight again. "Sorry this happened by the way." You then said and Jotaro sent you a questioning look. "I don't write about real people for a reason and this is exactly why. It's just wrong to do without permission."

Jotaro hummed and you suddenly realised who exactly you were talking to.

Awkwardly clearing your throat, you just put the paper in your pocket. "I'll make sure they won't be able to steal any more of my writing so if it works, you won't have to worry about seeing terribly written cheesy romantic scenes anymore. Apart from maybe their own attempts at it." You chuckled at that last bit and looked up to cross eyes with Jotaro.

There seemed to be a somewhat amused glint in them, putting you at ease.

Just then, you remembered a thing and you opened your mouth before abruptly closing it. Following it up with a deep breath. "Okay maybe you will still see some come by for the next few days. I left my bag in the cafeteria, unmanned and unsupervised. Prime chance for some grubby hands to go through it."

"Let's go make sure they fuck off before they plunder the entire thing then."

Jotaro simply turned around while you blinked, pleasantly surprised before you sprinted to catch up with him.

You both walked around the school in quiet, moving to the front doors so you could re-enter again and make your way to the cafeteria.

"I don't mean to pry," You started after a little bit and saw Jotaro glance at you from the corner of his eye, a somewhat wary look in his eye but you just continued. "But how do you keep yourself from punching that entire gaggle of screeching sheep? Honestly I already feel like punching them when I hear them next to me for more than two minutes. And you have to deal with it every day for way longer."

Jotaro visibly relaxed and you heard him let out an amused exhale. "Wouldn't have guessed I have better patience than you." He said back.

You let out an offended gasp at that. "Excuse me my patience is amazing. And let's be fair, I can hear you across the school every day when you yell at them."

He sent you a small side glare, quickly returning to stoically looking forward. "Yes but I haven't ever punched them."

"Neither have I." You smirked. "See? Good patience."

"How about you practice some of that good patience and shut up." His tone of voice was harsh but you could tell there was no anger behind it, so you just let a small smile of victory take over your features as you both walked into the cafeteria.

To say heads turned in surprise when you walked in side by side with Jotaro, unharmed, would be an understatement.

Walking up to the table you had been sitting at, you were relieved to see your friend sitting there, looking at you in disbelief with your bag next to her.

Waving, you walked up and turned to the tall delinquent next to you. "Thanks for not beating me up. I'll see you around." You gave him a weird mock solute before giggling slightly at your stupidity.

Jotaro just hummed and gave you a nod, stuffing his hands in his pocket and turning around, walking out of the cafeteria without a word.

That went way better than you ever could have thought.

[adonis-koo]

tease

| 26 |

↳ Summary: You came with the intentions of your best friend landing a job as a stripper. You never meant to catch the eyes of the king stripper of the establishment- Jeon Jungkook, yourself. With what was supposed to be a harmless way of paying off college debt faster you find yourself falling into a very odd and passionate relationship with your new mentor. Between infidelity, passion and jealousy there’s never a dull moment at Cherry Bomb.

↳ Pairing: Stripper!Jungkook/Reader

↳ Genre: Smut, fluff, angst, drama, slice of life, relationship problems without the relationship, reader is such a shy baby protect her, MUTUAL pining, so much sexual frustration,  

Word Count: 11k

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Warning: This story touches on both sexual harassment and abuse, please read with caution if any of these things are triggers to you. Additional warnings will be given when a chapter present them.

Sweat beaded down his neck as he noticed the sun going down, shit if he didn’t start running faster he was going to be late…! Jungkook didn’t make any effort to stop by the two girls who had obviously been hoping to talk to him. He didn’t have time for that, not when he just got this next round of pay. 

Pausing at the cracked pavement of the apartment building he took a deep breath, wiping the sweat from his brow before calming himself down, inner excitement buzzing inside him as he felt accomplished. Five hundred, that was the number he had made this week. Five hundred, that would be enough for food…! Or- or maybe they could squeeze rent in with it too!

Jungkook felt giddy as passed by the dead brush of old flowers, the paint chipping off the side of the wall by the front door just as it always did, vaguely he could remember when his mom complained about never living somewhere nice.

Maybe this wasn’t an upper-class suburban neighborhood, but it was home. Opening the front door Jungkook paused, feeling a little leery at the sight of empty bottles on the table, his dad couldn’t have been home already, right? Jisoo was curled up on the couch, eyes meekly flickering to meet Jungkook’s before quirking into a little smile of greeting before letting her gaze drop back to her homework, “Mom’s in her room, haven’t seen her since I got home.”

Jungkook pressed his brows together in confusion, usually, she was a little more chipper than that, “Oh…” he breathed out before letting his shoulders slump a little, “Alright, I’m gonna go talk to her for a few minutes, do you need help with your homework?” He paused at the entry kitchen where the small circle table sat, takeout boxes piled up and the occasional pizza box underneath, he should really take the time to try and clean up.

Jisoo’s gaze flickered between her brother and her homework as she nibbled against her lip, “...You don’t have to help me Jungkook…” She felt guilty, he could tell instantly. 

Jungkook’s expression twisted a little more stern as he replied, “If I don’t then who will Jisoo?” He cut himself off abruptly as a thick silence hung in the air, Jisoo refused to look at him as she fiddled with her pencil, something she always did when she was nervous. Sighing he ran a hand through his hair, not wanting to scare her though it still disheartened him that she really thought of him like that, “I know I don’t Jisoo, But I don’t mind, okay? Let me just go talk to mom then I’ll be out in a moment to help.” 

She only nodded before letting out a soft sigh, curling up against the pillow she had hugged before Jungkook walked into the kitchen, the door ahead closed and it seemed like the lights were turned off, softly knocking Jungkook heard a crash inside as he opened the door, the TV playing in the pitch-black room where the curtains had been closed.

“Mom?” Jungkook furrowed his brows as she wobbly stood up, the cigarette she wasn’t supposed to be smoking in the house pinched between two of her fingers as she struggled to stand up properly, “Kookie…!” Her voice enthusiastic yet somewhat confused, her brows squeezed together as if she struggled to see him, “When did you get home?” She fumbled around the bed as he coughed, waving the cigarette smoke she had blown in his face on accident out of the way.

“I...I just got home mom, look I know it’s been hard with dad but….” He scratched his neck, feeling a little apprehensive before pulling the thick wad of cash out of his pocket, “I wanted to help out so…! Here, maybe…maybe me, you and Jisoo can go to the store and…!” He felt proud of himself at his mom's eyes lighting up quickly snatching the money from his hands, “Maybe we could get a few new sets of clothes or….mom?” He paused as she finished counting the money with an exasperated sigh as if inconvenienced. 

“You couldn’t have gotten another hundred?” His mom complained, her face saying that this was absolutely not enough, Jungkook felt his lips part, fumbling but no words came out as he felt his previous excitement begin to deflate.

It...it wasn’t good enough…? 

“Jungkook I would have thought you’d be more useful than this,” She sighed as she turned her back, annoyance filtering her features as she waved a dismissive hand, “I should’ve anticipated this though, I can never count on you to be enough when I need it. Go help your sister with her shit.” 

She puffed from her cigarette once more as Jungkook felt the frustrated anger quell in him, stiff in place as he felt the urge to swallow the hard rock that was suddenly stuck in his throat, his mom turned around as her scorned expression furrowed, “Are you deaf in the head? Get the fuck out of here and go do something useful. God you’re so fucking needy.” 

Jungkook had made sure to slam the door on his way out, running a hand through his hair as he felt the anger seethe through his veins, why was it never enough? All he wanted was to help! To be validated and good enough for his mother? Growling he hadn’t even registered when his fist slammed into the wall, again….and again...and again. 

His fist throbbed in sharp pain and it was already becoming swollen as blood trickled against the floor. Jisoo didn’t have the nerve to ask when she carefully wrapped his hand. 

….

Memories like those were the most prominent, especially after triggering situations such as just a few hours ago in which Jungkook and you had experienced a near kidnapping. The ride home had been painfully silent and it wasn’t until in the shower that you had broken down crying and continued until you could no longer keep yourself awake. 

Jungkook however, wasn’t tired at all, the opposite in fact, his eyes had been staring blankly at the ceiling for the last two hours, his mind filtering memories and briefly wondering, where had he gone wrong in his life? You were curled up against him, your body relaxed and your face buried against his side. 

With you sound asleep, Jungkook didn’t feel the obligation to hold a pleasant expression, and thus his bitter glare at the dirty white ceiling you had commented on painting one day. Where did he go wrong? Was he really that terrible of a person, was he considered a pain in the ass as a child? 

In fact, Jungkook felt strongly when he was younger, about wishing he had never been born, so that he wouldn’t have had to endure such incredibly hurtful parents. Jungkook wanted nothing more than to cherish his mother’s love. His lips quivered a little, his top lip twitching a little at the angry gloss of tears in his eyes, he hated it. He hated that it still hurt him almost ten years later. 

Jungkook hated more than anything, the permanent stain it had left on his heart, the constant need to prove that he wasn’t needy, that he didn’t need anyone, that he didn’t need to rely on anyone. He bent over backwards and compromised more of himself then he possibly could, in hopes that one day, his mother would love him. 

It wasn’t that Jungkook regretted his decisions, he had made plenty of money that he kept to himself, hence buying his first car, he could get his sister new clothes and pay for her meals. But still...he just wished he hadn’t compromised so much of himself, for something he would never have been given, no matter how perfect he tried to be. 

When he first came to Seoul, Jungkook didn’t know who he was, or what he wanted to do. He had spent so much of his life, living day in and day out, hoping he could force himself into the role of perfect son that would somehow fix his dysfunctional life, to the point that when he had left it all. It left him completely devoid inside. And Jungkook supposed he did eventually find himself, somehow. 

….

Purified sugar and there had to be some kind of strain of acidic flavor in the energy drink Jungkook had just finished chugging, it was his third one tonight and he had just finished his shift. His coworker coming in looking buzzed on something that was definitely not alcohol. 

“Psst- hey Jungkook,” He frowned as he turned to the male, raising a brow as he silently inspected the guys pupils that were widened like saucers, “You want some of this shit before you go? Hits different.” 

Jungkook’s nose wrinkled a little as he watched the guy pull the plastic bag from his coat, pure white powder inside as he offered a weak smile, “No thanks man, have a...good shift.” He offered, not in the least bit interested in that. 

Jungkook had watched his dad drain his whole life away with drugs, he was not about to do the same thing. Pushing his hands into his sweatshirt as he pushed the backdoor to the convenient store open. Life was shitty, but at least he was by himself, alone, and able to do what he wanted. The motel was a pretty far walk and these parts of Seoul weren’t the hottest but hey, it was a pretty lively area. Groaning Jungkook pulled up his hood, keeping his head low as he began to weave through alleyways as a shortcut to the motel, he was making, barely enough money to pay for it with the discount of ramen but admittedly...his stomach ached and growled in need of substance that he was beginning to get tired of living on. Was the rest of his life going to be this bleak? 

Jungkook had debated on enrolling for college but it seemed like a bad idea and a lot of debt he couldn’t afford to get into when he was barely putting a roof over his head. The idea of being an escort didn’t sound horrible but…

His lips twitched. No, he wasn’t going back to that. It was still too fresh in his head and he couldn’t handle anymore predatory older women preying on him. Ah great, his clothes were practically soaked to the bone. He’d need to find a day job at least to start saving money for actual food- take out at least and new clothes. 

Jungkook hadn’t even realized where he was walking until he smashed into someone, he didn’t mind it much but to be fair he was on the giving end, the guy taking a tumble before he growled, “Hey fuckin’ watch where you’re going kid.” Jungkook kept his head low, knowing damn well it was too late and he was too hungry for this shit. 

He just wanted to get out of the cold rain before he got sick, “Look! Little fucker thinks he’s better than us!” The friend called out, walking up as he got in Jungkook’s face as he followed beside him, “Hey shithead, you ran into my friend! I think that warrants an apology!” 

Jungkook paused, lifting his chin a little as he closed his eyes in exasperation, these guys were really fucking annoying, they both began cackling at his reaction as he turned to face them both, “Fuck off.” Jungkook could hardly contain the words tumbling from his lips, this wasn’t a good start given it was a 2v1 here. 

“Ooh, little man thinks he’s a badass.” The friend mockingly awed out before Jungkook was suddenly shoved, “Because you’re so rude to your elders, I think you should give us money as compensation for not beating your ass.” 

Compensation? In what world? 

Jungkook scoffed, a smirk coiling on his lips as he cocked his head into an annoying cocky expression, “The only compensation you’ll get is having the luxury of kissing my ass.” Knowing this totally wasn’t in his favor he suddenly shoved the first guy which made him slam into his friend before he booked it down the alleyway. 

Heavy footsteps pounded on the pavement following after him, making his way out of the alleyway he made a sharp right but didn’t make it two feet before he slammed into multiple bodies, “Out of the way assholes! He’s dead meat!” Jungkook scurried behind the two men who didn’t budge an inch. 

They were around his height and yet...they both definitely went to the gym, “Ew, they look like hetros.” The one on the right said as he wrinkled his nose, he held an umbrella that shielded his friend and Jungkook as well who leered, looking ready to run again if needed, “What are you doing over there idiot?” He twisted around and Jungkook was somewhat taken aback at how stunning this man was...was he a model? 

More importantly his brows furrowed in confusion, he knew neither of these guys, why did they act like they knew him? The man spoke once more as he looked at Jungkook as if he knew him well, “Got into trouble, again?” 

The man on the left spoke up as he tutted, “Sorry for our friend, he’s young and doesn’t know any better. Ah...It would be best if you just go…” His voice was methodical and smooth. He was a little taller than Jungkook and the other man, a pleasant yet tense smile on his face. 

The two guys looked at one another before glaring at Jungkook once more, who only let a snide smile appear on his face as the two grumbled their apologies, even giving a short bow before slinking back into the depths of the alleyway. 

Both the men turned around, the one on the right who looked like a model snorted, “You know this kid?” 

“Nope.” The other one said as he shrugged. 

Jungkook could only look between the two men, suddenly stricken with gratitude at the realization that, despite not even knowing who Jungkook was, they stuck their necks out for him to get these guys away. He looked a little doe eyed before he offered a boyish smile as he bowed, “Wow you guys really saved my ass! Hey uh-” Jungkook couldn’t put his finger on why, but he wanted to get to know these two better, “I can make it up to you! I could buy drinks!” 

“No!” The model immediately rejected, his hand on his mouth as his nose wrinkled, “I mean your welcome but hard pass, i’ve already drunk twice my weight in liquor for the night.” He winced a little as if trying not to gag. 

Jungkook frowned as he rubbed his head...oh...okay…? He turned to the other man, suddenly feeling a bit odd at the way this guy was staring at him. It wasn’t creepy or as if he had ulterior motives, but it was as if...he was evaluating him. Jungkook felt a bit uneasy and at this notice the man offered a weak smile, “Say, if you’re struggling for money, get off work early and come back here tomorrow kid. You’d be a hot take here. Come on Seok let’s go.” 

The other man shrugged before they walked away leaving Jungkook thoroughly confused and somewhat dazed as rain began to pour back over him again. Puzzled, he turned to face the building the two men had exited from. 

Cherry Bomb. Huh, interesting.

...

The thought of those two men lingered in Jungkook’s mind the whole day as he debated on what to do and in the end, he figured, what the hell? Why not just go for it and see, he was a bit leery admittedly at the man's words about making money. Last time he did that, he became an underage escort and a drug runner. 

His nose wrinkled as he carefully made his way through the alleyway, careful to not run into anyone this time. It was two in the morning and he figured, this would be early enough, right? Unless...No he’d give it a try! 

Jungkook nodded in determination as he stood in front of the bright neon red sign with the words Cherry Bomb plastered on it, what even was this place anyways? He paused at the two bouncers out front, checking ID’s as he got his ready, showing it before they nodded and let him inside. 

Jungkook had expected a lot of things, what he didn’t expect was the foggy atmosphere, cherry red neon lights, tables packed with people and screams of cheers. Making his way through the crowd his nose wrinkled a little before he got a good look at the large stage, thinner in the middle and circled out on the sides. 

His lips immediately parted at the sight of...naked women...dancing...wrapped around poles. His ears were burning as he frantically looked away, feeling like he was intruding on a private event before his hormones got the best of him. His eyes looked back at the stage where the woman kept swaying her hips as she parted her legs. Her tits were perked and her thong left little to the imagination and…

Jungkook tensed at the sudden feeling of arousal shooting down below, his cock throbbing against his jeans as he awkwardly shifted. What the fuck was he supposed to do with this...was he even in the right place…? 

But...if he wasn’t...wouldn’t they have been more specific…? Jungkook peered around, feeling a little hesitant as he scanned the crowd before...Oh! Oh there he was! Jungkook shuffled through the crowd as he found the man at the bar, laughing with the bartender before they met eyes, “Oh good! I was wondering if the environment would scare you off,” He laughed, “You look like a boy coming of age.” 

“..I…” Jungkook paused, not used to this type of talk being so...free, feeling apprehensive he asked the only question he could think of, “What is this place?”

The guy snorted, looking amused as he spoke, “A strip club…? Hey how old are you?” 

“Twenty…” Jungkook replied, a little reluctant as the man laughed, almost endeared as he squared his shoulders a little, he wasn’t a kid! He just...had never...Jungkook felt his ears burn as his eyes narrowed, sex wasn’t everything! 

“Okay good! That means you’re legal!” He wiped a non existent sweat off his brow as he offered a dimpled smile, “I’m Kim Namjoon,” He nodded in greeting, “I work here as a Soloist.” Jungkook’s lips parted a little as he looked at Namjoon before at the stage, “Yeah, I’m a stripper.” 

A male stripper? Jungkook had never heard of such a thing before as he furrowed his brows before he connected the dots, suddenly bursting out laughing as he sat in a seat, “You think I would be a stripper!?” 

Namjoon lifted a hand as he spoke, “I mean, you showed up didn’t you?” Jungkook paused as Namjoon smiled cunningly, “Mhm, listen, I get it. Everyone’s a little reserved when they first get in the business but, we have it good here at Cherry Bomb.” 

“...I’m not a stripper,” Jungkook’s nose wrinkled a little, looking at his knuckles before up to the bartender that was busy serving several other customers, “I’m not even experienced-” 

“Pause,” Namjoon cut him off as he looked at him in wariness, “That’s what’s good about Cherry, we accept people with zero experience. They’re called trainee’s, which means they have an experienced stripper show them the ropes of how everything works.” 

Jungkook didn’t speak for a moment, as he swiveled his chair around, looking out at the stage where girls were dancing as raunchy as possible but...his eyes landed on the money that was flying...that had to be fifty, “....And you want me as what…? A trainee?” 

Namjoon smiled patiently, “Pretty much, I’m particular in who I train but, you have the face for the job. I feel like you'd generate a lot of profit. For yourself and Cherry.” This was where Jungkook frowned, wariness filling him once more. Profit for Cherry Bomb...He couldn’t shake the feeling that, this seemed too good to be true…”So what’s the catch?” Namjoon tilted his head as Jungkook spoke, “What’s the catch, where’s the draw back? This can’t just be me flashing everyone my dick and getting paid for it.” 

“Right…” Namjoon smiled a little as he curved a brow, “You won’t, salary is cheap because technically our tips make up for it. But starting out as a trainee means nobody knows you and, nobody is going to throw money at you.” Jungkook tilted his head a little, “See we have a hierarchy here. First we have bottom feeders, trainee’s, they’re new, they’re awkward, nobody knows them and nobody wants to give them money when something better waits. Then there’s fillers, those girls up there who dance between the main shows, which are soloist’s who dance by themselves. They’re what everyone is waiting for.” 

Jungkook frowned, “So unless you’re the main attraction there’s no point in dancing.” Then why bother with this place, weren’t most strip clubs self employed anyways? Why be a bottom feeder here when you had greater success somewhere else? It didn’t sound appealing to Jungkook. 

“Because,” Namjoon chuckled as the stage went dark before the lights turned on, Jungkook immediately recognized it as the male he met last night, “Everyone likes a big ego and an even bigger wallet.” He hadn’t even started dancing and money was already being piled onto the stage. 

Jungkook couldn’t help but watch in awe at the way he kept a crowd which, surprisingly held many females who all gushed and screamed for him, the power he held in his performance and all the money that floated down on him as he swung around the pole. Jungkook was...interested. And besides, what’s the worst that could happen with this place?

“Alright,” Jungkook leaned back in his seat as he looked at Namjoon, a cocky look in his eyes as he smirked, “I’m willing to talk.” 

----

That was a turning point in Jungkook’s life. He stretched out a little, careful not to move too much as he didn’t want to wake you, you had shifted with a little yawn before your face pressed back against him. His lips ghosted into a smile as he looked down at you, his hand tethering gently against the back of your neck as you curled against his touch, you were just too cute. 

For a moment everything was okay before he frowned once more, no matter what you said, it was his fault you were put in the position you were, if he had just...Jungkook silently groaned in frustration, he had lived his whole life like this. 

It wasn’t anything he wasn’t used to. 

But it frustrated him to no end, he could’ve done a lot of things in his life differently but he didn’t. And now you were having to deal with all of his baggage he had secretly hoped he could bury with time. But this situation was just a bitter reminder that no matter how fast Jungkook ran, the past would always catch up. 

….

“Mmm fuck, that’s it you little slut.” Sweat beaded against the back of Jungkook’s neck, the tight space of the bathroom stall making his body heat radiate and his skin flush as a low moan escaped him. His hand fisted into the girl's hair, her lips eagerly wrapped around his cock as she bobbed her head against it. 

Jungkook’s brows creased as he guided her movements, her cheeks hollowing before carefully taking him down her throat as he hissed, “Fuck, I bet you like choking on cock don’t you baby? Such a slutty brat.” He growled, forcing her head still before sharply snapping his hips into her mouth, his orgasm was so fucking close. 

She was gagging and clawing against his thighs as gurgled whines escaped her, her little throat tightening around his cock making him let out a long moan as he rutted one last into her mouth, his cum warm and thick as it slid down her throat. 

Jungkook needed a moment to recover before pulling himself from her mouth, heaving in breaths as he rasped, “Jesus….thanks.” 

The girl- Yuna stood up as she wiped her lips, a bright smile adorning them as she laughed, “My pleasure, you should probably go talk to Namjoon though, as nice as your dick is it’s not why I came to get you.” 

Tucking himself away Jungkook glanced up at her as he gave a half smirk, though it seemed more like a lopsided smile, “I didn’t hear you complaining. I’ll go talk to him. Did he say what he wanted?” Namjoon, his mentor, was always on the more relaxed end of Soloist’s, not quite having the energy to debate with Jungkook. 

“Mmm dunno,” Yuna shrugged as she opened the stall, fixing her hair as best she could before rubbing her eyes, taking a quick look into the mirror to make sure she was somewhat decent, “You said you weren’t into degradation last time we fucked.” She raised a brow in curiosity as she glanced at him in the mirror.

Jungkook paused, running a hand through his hair as he looked away briefly. He did say that beforehand, trying to degrade a girl just felt….wrong...It almost always made him feel like an asshole and for the longest time he never saw the appeal. Jungkook shrugged as he replied, “Well, one of the girls I slept with was really...like really into it, and she explained that everything was consented and that if she had a problem with anything I called her she’d tell me. I wasn’t really into it at first but if it’s what she wanted,” He shrugged once more as Yuna turned around, tilting her head, “But after seeing how much it turned her on, and how weak she got anytime I called her a slut...It was kinda hot.”

Jungkook’s brows pressed together in thought, it was weird but, if the girl was okay with it then, that made it okay, right? He still felt somewhat at war with himself, maybe he should’ve asked Yuna? Even if she was the one that was practically begging him to call her a whore to begin with, but still. 

Yuna gave him a smile as she opened the door waving him out as he followed her, “You’re telling me all I needed to do was give you an educational lesson in BDSM? You’re so innocent Jungkook.” He glared at her as she laughed holding up her hands, “I’m just saying, you’re a natural in bed but you just always seem to...hold back…” 

Walking out of the hallway the main floor of Cherry Bomb was packed as always in the morning, girls going over their routines, people conversing with one another, Jungkook had come to love it here, it wasn’t the nicest place, but it wasn’t like he grew up living a nice life, “Well,” He huffed as his memories of his earlier experience when it came to sex flashing through his mind, “It’s not like I was with someone my age willing to guide me through it.” 

He immediately regretted his words, mentally chiding himself at saying too much as Yuna furrowed her brows, glancing up at him as she frowned. He was thankful she didn’t seem to say anything on the matter though, maybe knowing it wasn’t a good idea. 

“Well regardless, I’m proud of you.” Yuna patted his back as he rolled his eyes, leave it to her to keep things surface level before flashing him a grin and parting ways. Jungkook’s eyes scanned over the room, clacking his tongue as he sighed, Namjoon was probably in the soloist room if he wasn’t out here.

Making his way back down the hallway he pushed the door of the room open, glancing up at the small stage where Seokjin was working with Rose, “Done with your quick fuck already Jungkookie?” 

Jungkook’s shoulders tensed and his gaze deathened as they landed on the insufferable figure that stood ahead, freshly dyed platinum silver hair that covered thick bushy brows, the smirk crept on none other then Kim Taehyung’s face, what a fucking tool, “At least I can get my dick sucked without having to beg people to do it.” 

Taehyung snorted as he curved a brow, running his fingers through his hair as he replied, “Sorry what was that? Couldn’t hear you over being Cherry Bomb’s Playboy, girls would be fighting to the death to suck what I got.” 

Jungkook gritted his teeth as he rolled his eyes, refraining from rearranging that pretty face of Taehyung’s, he didn’t give a shit if he had only been working there for two weeks when Taehyung won SSU he still thought it wasn’t deserved. Taehyung was conceited garbage beneath Jungkook’s feet. He wasn’t going to groval over him just because he was a soloist now.

“Jungkook,” Namjoon sighed, curving a brow as he glanced between the two rivals before rolling his eyes, “Come on, over here.” He waved over his trainee who gritted his teeth before reluctantly walking over.

Jungkook raised his brows in question, not understanding why his mentor wanted him, most days he wasn’t even really training with Namjoon anymore, it had been almost a year of him working here and Jungkook personally thought becoming a filler would be easier than this. Training for over a year was just so ridiculous though, he was used to stripping, he could spend the whole night with girls at a table. And yet these people still treated him like he was a trainee, just because of the title. 

“Look I need you to be on your best behavior tonight okay?” Jungkook pulled up a chair as he sat across from Namjoon at the small table as he curved a brow, “Seasonella’s reps are coming tonight to choose and you’re definitely going to get onto the list if you put on a good show. But, I wouldn’t blame you if you want to take tonight off.” 

Jungkook was like a toddler beaming, he didn’t know all the ends and outs of Seasonella, but he knew it was guaranteed to be promoted from trainee to filler, hell, maybe even...He dismissed the idea, the last thing he needed was to get ahead of himself, “Why would I do that?” Jungkook scoffed, a cocky smirk on his face as he continued, “You know how I feel about still being a trainee. If I have even the slightest chance of climbing up from this shitfest I’ll take it.” 

Namjoon grimaced a little, of course his trainee was stubborn hard headed ass, sighing he ran a hand through his hair before replying, “We don’t just strip there Jungkook. We’re treated as prostitutes as well, I don’t know what the deal is but they make it like we have a choice when we don’t. It’s...not really pleasant.” 

Jungkook didn’t think much about his words, only snorting as he lifted his chin in that cocky manner he always had, “So I’ll get paid to not only strip but to fuck too? Where’s the loss in that?” This sounded like a pretty good gig in his opinion, what were the drawbacks supposed to be?

Namjoon shook his head as he sighed, figuring this would probably be the kid's reaction despite coming from a rough background himself, he had hoped, Jungkook would exercise a little more caution than he was. But then again Namjoon also understood that he was young and immature. 

“Nevermind. Regardless, if you want to go you need to be on your best behavior and…” Namjoon looked away somewhat wryly, “Don’t....don’t piss anyone off tonight, last thing I need is for you to try to knock the client's son’s teeth out.” Jungkook only puffed his chest proudly as he leaned his weight back and he shoved his hands into his pocket. 

“Deal.” 

…

Jungkook felt the urge to laugh at how stupid he had been, how arrogant and immature his actions were to not heed Namjoon’s warning. It’s why he couldn’t be upset with you. He was even worse than you his first year at Seasonella. True he didn’t go as far as shut it down, but then again, Eva didn’t waste time in digging up his whole past and dangling it over his head to keep him coming. 

But if he heeded the warning then- he cut himself off, what was the point in always thinking this way? Admittedly, it was getting tiring to beat himself up constantly, to wish for things to be different when they weren’t. 

Jungkook, just wanted to put everything behind him, and start fresh. He had friends who he considered his family and….well he had you. His eyes flickered to your figure that wiggled a little to get comfortable before stilling once more. Sighing he shook his head, he almost lost you last night. Or you almost lost him. 

He couldn’t live the rest of his life like this, he couldn’t. 

….

“So...are you um…” 

Jungkook leaned back against the headboard, running a hand through his sweat ridden hair, his muscles admittedly had been aching but it had been a great weekend honestly, what even was Namjoon talking about? He turned to face the girl he had been accompanying the whole week, Eva Friar. 

Jungkook felt a flow of ego filter him at the reminder, that’s right. For only being a trainee, he bagged the client’s daughter, she was just a year older than him and hey, she had money. And lots of it. By this point Jungkook would be able to get that apartment near Gangnam like he had been hoping. 

“I’m taking it you’re single?” Eva squeaked out, a shy smile on her face as she covered her nose with the blanket in an attempt to try and look cute. Jungkook curved a brow, single…? It hadn’t even crossed his mind honestly. 

Jungkook was neutral if not a little confused before he spoke, “...Yeah…? I mean, I doubt anyone would wanna date a guy like me.” He laughed a little despite it sounding tense- that came off more self-deprecating then he had wanted...But it was true and honestly...Jungkook couldn’t do love. 

Not right now at least, it was too soon and memories of home were too fresh. The only love he had ever been exposed to was well...It wasn’t love and...how was he supposed to express something he had never been given? 

“Oh?” Eva perked up, giggling a little as she fumbled to sit up, pulling the sheet against her chest despite Jungkook having already fucked her three times thus far today, “W-well that’s hard to believe! I mean, look at you!” 

Jungkook frowned a little, looking down at himself, true he had gotten a membership at the gym and he had obviously worked on his stroke game but...He was just...himself, “And…?” He asked as he furrowed his brows. 

“You’re the whole package Jungkook!” Eva exclaimed as she smiled brightly, “I- I mean...any girl would be lucky enough to date you…” She trailed off coyly as she tucked a strand of hair behind her ear. 

“Really?” Jungkook cocked a brow, not sure if he actually believed her, Jungkook wouldn’t….exactly consider himself a catch, given...well literally everything outside his appearance. 

“Well I mean…” She shuffled a little closer to him as she fluttered her eyelashes, “How about you take me to dinner tonight and I’ll show you…” 

Jungkook immediately leered back. Dinner!? Where did him being a stripper here for the weekend, say he was taking her to dinner, he knew it was an invitation but....”No thanks,” He offered a semi awkward smile, “I...I’m not really into relationships…” 

“O-oh…”

Great now he felt like an ass. Jungkook tried to recover as he forced a laugh that admittedly sounded light, “Yeah! It's just...you know, being a stripper and all. It doesn’t mesh well with relationships. You understand yeah?” 

Eva’s lips trembled a little and Jungkook had a difficult time looking at her, god this girl was so pitiful, “No totally! Ha..ha. I’m gonna use the bathroom!” She suddenly fumbled and before Jungkook could say a word, she was gone. Collapsing back against the bedboard he groaned, god dammit. 

Jungkook wasn’t sure when he actually fell asleep, it was difficult telling, but what he did enjoy was waking up to you every single day now, you were already awake and on your laptop most likely doing something miscellaneous or maybe working on a art history project you had been putting off for the majority of the summer time. 

His lips briefly twisted in a small smile as he set his chin on his arms admiring your side profile as you had yet to realize he had woken up. Your brows furrowed a little and your lips pressed together before jutting out once more as you paused typing. 

Then your eyes met his, a sleepy smile on his face as he watched you huff a little embarrassed for no reason at all but simply just because, “Morning babygirl.” He spoke up, his voice a little raspy and dehydrated from the long night. 

Jungkook’s smile turned more affectionate as he watched a shy smile appear on your lips as your eyes trailed back to the laptop screen, “Morning.” You mumbled out as you began to type again, your expression looked a little clouded compared to most days and briefly Jungkook wondered why before it hit him what had happened, “I tried waking you up to help me with breakfast but you were out of it. So I figured I'd just wait for you to wake up.” 

Jungkook said nothing at first, rather he studied your focused expression with a little frown as an odd feeling set in his stomach at how detached you appeared, not wanting you to catch on though he spoke, “You don’t have to wait for me to make breakfast,” He smiled lovingly, his eyes still sleepy as he looked up at you, who broke away from that cloudy look unable to  help but share the same smile as your nose crinkled a little, “I burnt toast last time you tried to get me to help.” He commented rolling onto his back onto his side, looking up at you, at first anticipating you would bring up what had happened but….

“Because you said putting it on a higher heat would make it cook faster.” You clacked your tongue making him chuckle, it was his fault the toast came out like a brick but truthfully he hadn’t used his toaster in almost a year until you started staying over. 

He closed his eyes briefly, you were an amazing cook, no matter how much you tried to coyly dismiss him, he’d shower you in compliment after compliment when it came to what you made in the kitchen. Jungkook would admit he was suspicious about all the food you had gotten at the grocery store but he stood corrected, you were making use of it all.

Jungkook couldn’t even adequately describe how much he loved you and everything you did for him, it was quiet for a moment as he stared up at you with his lips twisted into a tiny smile, his lack of reply making you turn to look at him as your nose crinkled again, “Hey babygirl….” Jungkook hummed out making you raise your brows, he sat up tenderly as he ran a hand through his hair, feeling a little apprehensive as he mumbled, “...Baby are you okay…?”

“Don’t….” Jungkook immediately frowned at your sharp words as you curled away from him a little, your expression a shards of distraught could be seen in your expression which only made him want to hold you closer, “Jungkook I…” you closed your eyes, lips quivering a little as you mumbled, “Can we not...talk about it?” 

Jungkook frowned as he stared at your curled up figure earnestly, not talk about it…? Jungkook didn’t want to make any assumptions but it was difficult to not when you were acting like this, “Baby…” Jungkook sighed before tenderly reaching out, pulling you closer as he rested his chin in your shoulder, “We can’t ignore what’s going on.” 

Your lips drew together tightly and he could see the way your eyes watered as you inhaled sharply, trying your best to keep it together as you mumbled, “We can, what else can we do besides that?” You looked up at him, a tear having escaped as it began to trickle down your cheek, “Just for a few hours, please?” You mumbled.

Jungkook sighed, weak for you and he could never do something with the intention of knowing you’d cry, cradling your cheek he thumbed the tear away, “Just a few hours baby.” He leaned up, pressing a kiss on your cheek as you crumbled back against him, basking in the warmth he had to offer as he tenderly trailed a few kisses down your neck. Time passed slowly and tenderly as silence took over for a long while, Jungkook still felt mildly concerned but he wouldn’t push you, especially like this.

But pretending like last night didn’t happen wasn’t a good idea either, Jungkook felt helpless as he pressed a kiss onto your head, feeling lost and unsure of what to do. This wasn’t healthy for him or you at this point and your alarming detachment was only making him more and more worried for your safety, pretending things weren’t going on was only going to give you a false sense of security that didn’t exist. 

“...Can we go cook now...,” You whined with a mumble as you closed your laptop before getting out of bed, “Come let go, let’s go, let’s go!” You bounce a little, a silly pout on your lips and a surprising amount of energy for someone who hated waking up early, let alone with everything going on, the large t-shirt covering close to your knees before you hurried from the room. 

Jungkook shook his head, letting you have your temporary moment of relief, a smile on his face before groaning as he got out of bed, rubbing his head, “You’d be more successful without me burning anything!” He called out in one last ditch effort to go back to bed. 

“I want your help!” You sang back not taking no for an answer as he shook his head, getting up as he yawned once more, rubbing his eyes before he grabbed a sweatshirt that was hanging off the side of the laundry hamper. You both were supposed to go to the laundromat this morning to get some clothes done.

‘I can’t believe you don’t have a washer and dryer, this is so gross!” 

Your words echoed in his head and he wanted to laugh all over again, truth be told he only lived a block away from a laundromat and he didn’t mind taking early morning walks to get laundry done, even if it was an inconvenience. 

Jungkook couldn’t say for sure if those plans were still on given what had...happened last night, despite only happening it still felt like a hazy dream that only filled him with dread any

Pulling the sweatshirt over his head he couldn’t stop another yawn escaping him as he padded out from the hallway to where the kitchen and living room were, his eyes landing on you softly as you had already gotten to work. Wordlessly he walked up to you before wrapping his arms around your waist, pressing his face against your shoulder, “Koo! I can’t mix this properly when you’re trying to use me like a couch!” You whined out trying to tug away. 

Jungkook pressed a kiss against your shoulder as you wiggled once more, only he swayed with you as he whispered in your ear, “Can’t I just have you for breakfast?” 

“No!” You spoke sharply, obviously flustered at his words making him chuckle, forever endeared at how easy it was to make you all flustered over something you both had done time after time. Jungkook would never get tired of you, he was sure of it. 

Jungkook and you had cooked together this morning and with your gentle, patient direction Jungkook was surprised he had managed to actually be of some use and help to you. Breakfast was….rewarding, in a way. 

He could understand why you enjoyed it so much, you had told him recently that it was a pastime hobby to make tasty things. Jungkook had never gotten to experience waking up early as a child and helping the family making an early breakfast or even sitting at a table together bantering while enjoying what had been made together. Jungkook knew you often felt like you couldn’t offer him anything exciting or new, given you were a big introvert and he was the opposite, but little did you know it was the tiny things such as this that was new and he’d forever cherish.

Jungkook rested his cheek against his hand, a soft smile tugging on his lips as he listened to you ramble on about how when you first started cooking you had ended up misreading the recipe and using a half cup of baking soda instead of a teaspoon. You didn’t even realize just how much you gave to him in these little moments, he would always cherish it.

After breakfast Jungkook had loaded up his laundry with you before heading out onto the streets, Jungkook had rationalized that it was still daylight out and it was a busy morning with a large crowd, surely...things would be okay. 

Jungkook could tell you were leery of walking on foot but he had managed to convince you, after all, you wanted to have the morning to at least enjoy yourself and Jungkook would provide that to the best of his ability. Yet still, any time it was silent between you both a large cloud hung over the both of you, an unspoken tension that he couldn’t stand. 

And so Jungkook did what he always did when he didn’t like the atmosphere, he made conversation, something easy to talk about and he knew you enjoyed decorating, so he volunteered to ask what you wanted to do to the apartment first. 

Jungkook only had a tiny smile on his face as you immediately launched in the dozens of small things you wanted to get done first, a wash of relief taking over him at you now being a mildly distracted and the walk only being ten minutes, “That’s another thing i’d like by the way,” Jungkook hummed as he turned to face you, who had just been rambling on about this and that, “A washer and dryer in the apartment!” You exclaimed with a pout now enthusiastic about getting the apartment in better shape, “I don’t wanna have to walk a block every week just so our clothes can be clean! How do you live like this Jungkook?” 

Jungkook chuckled a little as he replied back, “Like anyone else! Not everyone can afford that babygirl. Have you stopped to think for a moment that maybe, maybe I’m just too poor to afford it.” He cackled at the sour expression on your face. 

“You just dropped over two thousand on a new gaming setup three days ago, Jungkook.” You groaned as you grabbed your head making him smile once more. 

“Not a setup, it’s all the parts for a new PC baby, I gotta prep my drip for Cyberpunk 2077 when it comes out. Which takes precedence over a washer and dryer,” He shrugged, just enjoying the way you’d flail and react, “However,” Jungkook exclaimed dramatically before he grinned, “I’ll make an exception, just for you.” He cooed as he wrapped an arm around you making you squirm, “But for real, I enjoy the experience babygirl, it’s not about having to walk once a week. It’s the fact that I get to walk once a week, and just enjoy myself.” 

Your nose wrinkled a little making him snort, he knew by your expression you didn’t understand at all but you also clearly didn’t want to invalidate him either. That’s what he really liked about you, he supposed, no matter how much you disliked something, you always tried your best to understand. 

For the sake of those you loved. You were delicate like that, or so Jungkook liked to think. 

…

“I think, you totally like her,” Jungkook whipped his head around faster than he could actually comprehend Taehyung’s words, just what in the hell did he hear his best friend say? “Just look at you dude, you won’t stop smiling every time you see her.” 

Jungkook leered away a little at his words, true it had been nearly a month of training you and there had never been a dull day in between but still… “I smile at everyone…” Jungkook frowned a little as he pointed it out, it was true, he did smile a lot, he liked to smile, it meant he was having a good time. 

“Yeah but,” Taehyung curved a brow, looking way too amused to be possible, “You never look like that.” He shrugged a little as Jungkook’s face soured a little, “Come on, don’t look at me like that, it’s the truth, why not just take her on a date. You’d do it to any other girl at this point.” 

Jungkook had to think about it for a moment, why hadn’t he taken you out on a date…? He frowned a little before sighing, “Because she isn’t a girl i’d just take on a date and fuck and never see again,” He answered steadily, that was the biggest reason truthfully, he didn’t know how to feel and the last thing he wanted was to let his hormones get the best of him and dive head first into a girl he really knew nothing about and…His jaw clenched a little, look what happened the last time he tried that.

“Isn’t that a good thing…?” Taehyung frowned a little as asked, obviously confused as to why this was a bad thing. 

“Because!” Jungkook flailed his hand a little, his back turned to the stage where some assortment of fillers were providing cheap entertainment, “She just…! I don’t…” He inhaled sharply, frustrated at himself, “Look I can’t deal with feelings and shit, not again, not after Soo Jin.” He rolled his eyes a little, “Taking her on a date is like a gateway for all that crap and I can’t deal with it right now.” 

Taehyung whistled a little, “That’s a little cold, even for you.” Jungkook puffed a breath as he continued, “And besides, what’s the difference between a hangout and a date anyways? You both go out together all the time as it is…” 

“Could you shut the fuck up please and just make my drink.” Jungkook complained, not wanting to be confronted with all of this. He didn’t want to think about because if he did he knew he was gonna freak himself out and end up doing something dumb and hurting you. And more than anything, he didn’t want to hurt you. 

So yes, he was going to drag out...whatever this was with you...as long as possible to ensure that he knew who you were, and what your intentions were with him. Not to assume he thought you had any type of intentions, you couldn’t hurt a fly honestly, unless provoked. 

But still, if Jungkook had learned any lessons, it was to not jump into love so fast as he had before. Not that he was in love with you...or anything like that. It was just platonic! He enjoyed platonic relationships- friendships! And you were the kindest, sweetest…his eyes trailed to your figure that was seated next to Rosé both of you talking to a table of frat boys who were eating you both up like candy...prettiest...friend he ever had! 

“Whatever, all I’m saying is if you break her heart- legally I’m obligated to beat the shit out of you.” Taehyung offered a boxy smile as Jungkook rolled his eyes as he slumped in his seat. He wasn’t going to do anything, Jungkook and you were purely, friends, good friends. That’s all. 

….

“She what?” 

“Yeah me and Rosé were pretty surprised she jumped to that conclusion.” Jungkook snorted at your words as you swung your feet back and forth, sitting on the seats they had set out in the laundromat while you both waited for your clothing to finish drying. 

“Taehyung is not gonna like hearing that, have you told him yet?” Jungkook snorted at the way your expression contorted before you flailed. 

“Of course not! Taehyung would freak and he’d probably do something stupid that would only confirm it in Yeri’s mind! I think, we should just leave them be, honestly, if it goes on long enough, Yeri will probably confront him.” You answered honestly, as you hugged the basket against your lap. 

“That’s one way it could go,” Jungkok hummed as he fiddled with your shirt making you whine a little, tugging away with him in indication for him to stop only for him to ignore it, “The other could be Yeri leaves and i’ll have my best bachelor bud ba- ow!” 

You swatted his arm angrily making him chuckle a little as he pulled away, “What?”

“Don’t talk like that! What do you have against Yeri!?” You cried out pointedly as Jungkook raised his brow in semi surprise. 

“Woah wait, I don’t have anything against her-” 

“Sure you do! Yeri told me how much of a jerk you were to her when she first started dating Taehyung! And making jokes like that isn’t funny!” Your brows pinched together and Jungkook sighed in exasperation when he realized you were being partially serious, “I just want them to be happy!”

“I don’t have anything against her,” Jungkook replied, this time more stern in his words, “And yes, I’m not gonna sit here and pretend like I wasn’t an asshole to her, I was. But only because I was still bitter about what had happened in the past and I projected that, unfairly onto their relationship. I wasn’t mature in the slightest either about it. I get it, but at the time I was just scared and I didn’t want my friend taken away from me.” He shrugged, “But it’s all in the past now, that’s nearly what? Two years ago now? I’m happy for them, really. I was just being careless when I made the remark.” 

You set the basket down to cross your arms as you huffed, obviously still upset but at least Jungkook was honest, or so he thought. Better to be honest then lie and screw everything up.

“What? Are you gonna be mad at me now the rest of the day?” Jungkook shoved your shoulder gently with his in a playful motion he’d often use to try and lighten the mood a little. 

He internally sighed at seeing you not budge, your arms crossed as you pressed your lips together,  “I won’t,” You mumbled, “I just want you to not be so…” You waved your hand a little as your lips curled with a sigh, “When it comes to Taehyung and Yeri, is it really a crime Taehyung wants to marry her?” 

Jungkook paused for a moment, what? He didn’t….didn’t he just explain? He sighed, “What? Do you think that’s a reflection of my view of marriage?” When you didn’t answer him Jungkook sighed in exasperation, “Alright fine, obviously I have to prove my devotion, again.” 

“Jungkook what- what are you doing!” 

Jungkook couldn’t hold in his laugh at the way you scurried in your seat at the sight of him sliding off his chair to kneel on the ground, grabbing your knees making you jolt, “Let’s go elope baby. Right now- or as soon as the laundry is done-” 

“Get up! People are staring!” You hissed out despite giggles escaping you as you tried to push Jungkook away who grabbed your hands, pressing kisses on them as he pulled you down a little with a whisper. 

“I will when you say yes. This is what this is about, right? You think I got something against marriage? Well let me prove you wrong baby.” Jungkook growled playfully in your ear as you pulled away. 

A loud beep cut him off, making both him and you jump as the washer that held both of your clothes stopped, “I’m not finished with you yet baby.” Jungkook had that dorky half smile on his face as he stood up to get the clothes out of the washer and into the dryer. 

Marriage huh...For a brief moment, Jungkook wanted to snort at the notion, him? Marriage? He never really gave it any genuine thought mainly because he never thought he’d be worthy of marrying, well….anyone. 

And for the longest time he didn’t even believe in marriage, the idea of being together with someone, forever really made him squirm when he was younger, possibly because his only example of marriage was his parents and he wasn’t even sure if they were married in the first place. 

A lot of examples throughout Jungkook’s life were bad examples. It was often difficult for him to try and accomplish a new idea without anything to lead by. But…his eyes trailed back to your figure who was still reeling about what had just happened. Maybe…

Just maybe…

Pushing the button on the dryer Jungkook plopped back in his seat going to speak to you but he paused when he noticed how stiff you were, your eyes were on the door to the laundromat where people were going in and out of view on the busy street, “What baby?” Jungkook furrowed his brows a little, confused as to why you looked so cautious all of a sudden. 

You looked at him briefly as if consulting something in your mind on what to say before you leaned back down in your seat, your eyes on your fingers as you fiddled with them the way you always did when you got nervous, “...Maybe...we should go to the police Jungkook...you know...about what’s going on, what happened…” 

Jungkook paused in his tracks. Police? He didn’t mean to immediately frown but…”Baby listen…” He sighed as he lowered his voice, not wanting to dismiss you as easily as he wanted too because he knew you genuinely cared and you were in a dangerous position being together with him, naturally you’d have a say so in what you both chose to do but...

Jungkook grabbed your hands tenderly as he spoke softly, “I...If it could be avoided I really don’t want the police involved- if they knew about my involvement in…” He didn’t even want to finish his sentence, would the police even care about how long it had been? Or the fact that he had been blackmailed into doing it for his sister's safety? 

Jungkook couldn’t take the risk, he couldn’t. There was too much unknown and risk for him to feel confident they would help rather than simply throw him in prison. You mirrored his expression as you sighed, your shoulders deflating a little as your bottom lip quivered the way it did when you were trying to not let yourself get upset. 

“I don’t think they’d do that Jungkook…!” You whispered and Jungkook couldn’t stand to look at the way your eyes were pleading, “I just- I don’t want anything to happen to you or- or to me! And- and maybe they could at least push these people back, right? I mean...We can’t keep taking risks like this.”

Jungkook lowered his gaze, despite his own fear he could never say no to you, not when you were pleading with him like this, especially when it was this dangerous. He ran a hand through his hair as he closed his eyes, “...I’ll think about it.” He relented, “Just let me think it over tonight okay?” 

It was the best he could do, Jungkook was only human. He wished he could be so much more, for his friends, for you, but he couldn’t. Your expression was still dim but you nodded in respect of his decision before leaning against him, your head resting against his shoulder. Jungkook let his own head rest atop of yours before pressing a kiss against your head while whispering, “Everything is gonna be okay baby.” 

Cherry Bomb was packed as ever, Jungkook had been helping out the majority of the night and truthfully, he enjoyed the rush of keeping up with lights, making sure girls were on schedule, he liked the busy atmosphere and more than anything he loved watching you dance and swing around a pole.

You were practically blowing competition out of the park left and right and your votes were only going up on Cherry’s twitter account. Not that Jungkook ever had a doubt in his mind about you taking first place, but seeing it on a screen really hit home that you were his baby and dammit could you do anything if you wanted too. 

“I think she’s gonna win!” Rosé squealed in her seat as she clapped her hands, “It’ll be so nice having another female soloist to help with the crowds!” Jungkook leaned back in his seat, saying nothing but his smile spoke for itself. 

“Maybe we’ll finally stop having to listen to Sejin bitch about our numbers dropping.” Seokjin yawned as he stretched out, “She’s pulled a big crowd on her own, who knows.” 

Jungkook clapped his hands together, “What did I say in the beginning?” He hummed as he furrowed his brows, that dorky boyish smile on his face making the others groan, “What was that? That I ah- said she’d make us money? That she’d be amazing? Hmmm? That’s the sound of me being right.” Jungkook chuckled as he listened to the crowd whistling as you exited the stage. 

Jungkook would never stop being proud of your accomplishments. Getting out of his chair he looked down at everyone prominently with a smirk as he crossed his arms before exiting to go find you. He was already semi hard from your performance and he wasn’t about to wait to get home. The bathroom stall was just gonna have to work for tonight. 

The staffing hallway was just as bustling as ever but things had calmed down admittedly, they had put you towards the ladder end of the contest so they could still keep a crowd for the majority of the night and now that you were finished things would soon be lowkey. Jungkook pushed the door open to Rosé’s dressing room as she had been kind enough to let you use it for the competition. 

Jungkook would’ve offered us own but...His nose twitched in an attempt to wrinkle, it was still messy in his room and they were still working on getting it cleaned up. You were sitting in your seat, taking off the earrings you had been wearing before a smile tugged on your lips at the sight of your boyfriend, “What?” You smiled, somewhat shyly as you adjusted your robe. 

Jungkook strutted over only to lean down, his arms around you as he pressed a kiss against your shoulder, “I’m gonna let you choose where I’m gonna fuck you baby.”

“Jungkook!” You jolted with a squeak at his crude words, that boyish smile on his face as he looked back at you in the mirror, “Jungkook!” You reiterated as you twisted around to look at him, your face warm as he raised his brows semi amused. 

Jungkook let his lips press against your neck as he chuckled against your warm skin, “I said what I said, I’m gonna go take a quick smoke and when I come back you better have an answer, yeah?” 

He smiled down at the way your eyes squinted a little at the mention of smoke, reaching up you pulled Jungkook back down, pressing your lips against his too quick for him to truly enjoy the taste of the vanilla chapstick you wore with the maroon lipstick that was probably transferred to his own lips, “You’re gonna get lung cancer if you keep smoking.” 

Jungkook puffed a breath, his lips threatening to curl at the way you were looking up at him softly, “I’m here for a good time, not a long time babygirl. Think carefully!” You shook your head as you watched him exit the room. 

You were happy to be performing again and having some resemblance of normalcy back, even if it was just on stage. Not to mention all the money you were making throughout the contest. Checking your phone your lips curled a little, you were currently in third place in ranking at the moment. No it wasn’t the best, but you’d take it. 

Glancing at the clock you hummed, noticing it had been about two minutes, your mind lingering on Jungkook’s words as you shook your head, a shy smile tugging on your lips. Well...he did enjoy the car after all...Fiddling with your phone you looked down at your lock screen once more. 

Time slowly ticked and eventually after five minutes you frowned, Jungkook normally didn’t take this long to smoke unless he got held up. You sighed, thinking back to your confrontation with Seulgi and how hurt she had seemed, as if it was your fault Jungkook fell in love with you...Well...you guessed in some ways it was. But still...she wouldn’t go out of her way to harass him tonight, would she? She had been talking shit earlier in the dressing room, hence you had decided to move into Rosé’s dressing room as she didn’t mind and you couldn’t be held responsible for whatever you did to her. 

You still didn’t fully understand her mindset, her words lingering in your head. Was she really just that big of a sore loser? The moment you stood up for yourself was the moment you threatened her very being? You just wanted to understand. 

Standing up you finished changing before deciding to go look for Jungkook, his absence after five minutes beginning to make you a little anxious to see him once more. Walking through the hallways you looked around, everyone was busy and with somewhere to be and yet you still couldn’t find him. Not in the dressing rooms, the bathrooms...Well, he did say he was going for a smoke. 

You rubbed your head, who would be out in the back exit beside him? He was the only person you ever used the back entrance anyway. The hall was dark and the red beam of LED cast down making the walls feel more narrow as you frowned cautiously pushing the door open to reveal the dark night sky and dingy alleyway that always made you uncomfortable.

That’s all you saw though. Jungkook nowhere to be found.

Panic flooded your veins at the sight of the pack of cigarettes laying on the ground and a half smoked bud. He was gone. Jungkook was gone. You could be overreacting but your gut was telling you otherwise, with shaking hands you yanked the door back open running room to room and once again, he was nowhere to be found. 

Opening the door to the main building where all the customers were, you hurried towards the bar, overwhelm beginning to flood your body as you desperately blinked back tears, pushing through people to get to the bar that had seemed pretty calm now that the majority of clients were leaving. 

“Hey! I’m glad we caught you just in time before you left-” A familiar face was sitting at the bar across from Taehyung as he greeted you but both men faltered at the sight of your choked voice as you closed your eyes, warm wet tears beginning to spill down your face. 

“Jungkook is gone! I- I can’t find him anywhere!” 

Note: yayyy!!! another chapter over and it’s gotten even worse!! we only have two chapters left guys I’m not prepared!!! :( lemme know what you think so far and ty for reading!

Taglist CLOSED

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[quillsandtypos]

Who you callin boyband?

Summary: anon requested calling the sunset curve boys a boyband and Luke reacting. Based off of Carlos calling then a boyband in the show.

Words: 1.8k

Warnings: none

Pairing: luke patterson x reader

Sorry I'm late to the anon who requested this!

...........................................

Their band had sounded amazing, as per usual. When Julie asked you if you could come watch to see if their song felt good enough for their next gig, you happily agreed. Though truthfully, you weren’t certain what she was worried about, they always sounded amazing and of course today was no exception.

“That was amazing you guys!” you chirped.

“Really?” Julie asked uncertainly.

“Definitely, I think that’s actually one of my favorites that you’ve made so far,” you assured her.

“See I told you guys she would like it,” Alex remarked from the back. You could tell from the phantom’s faces that there was a story behind his comment, but you didn’t bother asking.

“What do you guys say to some pizza to celebrate?” Julie suggested.

You agreed but you weren’t entirely certain Julie could even hear you over the boys chanting. Julie finally turned to you after they had quieted down.

“Yeah, I’ll take some,” you laughed.

“Great! I’ll let my Dad know,” she said, as she headed back up to her house. You watched her go, but your attention was soon diverted to the boys.

“You guys have to be the most pizza loving people I’ve ever met,” you teased.

“Then, you clearly have been hanging out with the wrong people,” Reggie commented.

You shrugged, “Maybe so, but you guys and pizza have more chemistry than Luke does on stage.” You took delight in the momentary look of shock on Luke’s face as you took a gulp from your water bottle. You almost thought you had him until the shock turned into a slick smile as his eyes flicked down towards yours.

“Does that mean you’re checking me out y/n?” Luke hinted. You could hear Reggie let out a oooooh in the background, but you choose to ignore it. Luke could recover quickly, you had to acknowledge that.

“Hate to break it to you Patterson, but I’m trying to manage the whole band. Not just you,” you slyly remarked.

His smile became more apparent. “But you didn’t answer the question.”

“He’s not wrong,” Alex pointed out. Reggie did finger guns towards him in agreement.

You crossed your arms and desperately hoped they didn’t realize how embarrassed you were. You leaned off the couch slightly and looked over to where Reggie and Alex were sitting. “For your information boyband, I was not checking Luke out,” you scoffed. You hoped they bought it, but that was evidently not the part that Luke was stuck on.

Luke tilted down so his arms rested at his knees, so he would be at your sitting level. “Wait, who are you callin boy band?”

“Uh, I don’t know, maybe the boy band in the room,” you said, as you gestured at them.

Luke crossed his arms too, sporting a pouty smile. “We are not a boy band.”

“You are boys. In a band. How are you not a boy band?” you argued.

“Y/n’s got a point there Luke,” Reggie agreed.

You pointed to him, “See, at least someone who’s logical is here.”

“Hey!” Alex started.

“Not you, that was directed at Luke,” you informed him.

“As you were,” Alex gestured at the two of you.

It wasn’t until you looked back at Luke that you realized your closeness to him. He couldn’t have been more than a foot away from where you sat. You cleared your throat, and you quickly tried to dismiss the thought from your mind.

“So boy band, why did you guys think I wasn’t going to like your new song?” you asked. They all exchanged seemingly panicked looks.

“Well it’s not that we thought you weren’t going to like it,” Alex trailed off.

“But like more of a general standpoint,” Reggie continued.

“Because it’s new,” Luke finished.

You suspiciously looked between the three. “Alright, what are you guys hiding?”

“Hiding? Us? Psssh,” Reggie scoffed. “I mean, it’s not like Luke-” He was cut off by Alex pressing a hand to his mouth.

“It’s not like Luke would’ve known whether you would like the song or not, is what Reggie was saying,” Alex offered as an explanation. The stink eye that the two were giving Reggie would’ve killed him on the spot if he weren’t already dead.

You were about to ask what was so important of a secret that

Reggie needed to be tackled, but Julie walked in.

“Did I just walk in on the middle of something?” she asked.

“Nope, just the boyband and their secrets,” you assured her with a slight smirk.

“Boyband, that’s new, I kinda like it,” Julie added.

Luke turned to head to the side with his mouth slightly agape as you bit down a laugh. “Thank you, that’s what I said.”

Julie was picking up on Luke’s annoyance and decided to play along. “Maybe I can get Flynn to change our name to Julie and the boyband,” she suggested.

“Oh my gosh, wouldn’t that be just perfect!” you exclaimed, being sickly sweet.

“You two are evil,” Luke said, as he threateningly pointed at the two of you.

You delightfully smirked. “What can I say Lukas, it’s my speciality,” you taunted. Reggie’s eyes went wide at the mention of his full name and Julie and Alex exchanged an amused look.

“What was that?” His grin was becoming more predatory by the second. He stood up to look down at you, and you took that as your cue to hop off the couch to face him.

“Did you miss what I said, Lukas?” You made sure to put extra emphasis on his name.

“No, I didn’t sweetheart,” he taunted back. You saw Julie raise her eyebrows from behind Luke’s shoulder. On one hand you hated that nickname but on the other hand you couldn’t tell if the growing heat on your face was from embarrassment of the name or the fact that Luke Patterson was calling you that. But you knew that you couldn’t let him know that.

“Mhmm, no we are not doing that,” you asserted.

He moved his face close enough to talk, you weren’t certain the others could hear him. “Well then don’t call me Lucas,” he bargained.

The words slipped from your mouth before your brain had a chance to realize what you were doing. “Make me,” you insisted.

You wished you could have disappeared in that moment, but alas you were stuck watching this as much as your three other friends were. When you finally opened your eyes to see what horrors you had in store for yourself, you first made eye contact with Julie; she looked rather surprised but almost a tint of impressed. You heard someone behind you clear their throat, and you turned around.

“I think we should go check if the pizza guy is here, right Julie?” Alex suggested.

Julie’s eyes went wide in realization of what was happening. “Right! Yep! You two stay here and hold the fort down!” She told you and Luke before practically sprinting out of the studio. You turned back around to see Reggie still standing there.

Alex quickly poofed back in and grabbed him as he incomprehensibly mumbled something.

Luke turned his attention back to you. “Make me, really y/n? That’s like the best you could come up with,” Luke crossed his arms.

“What would you prefer me to say?” you questioned. Something in Luke’s demeanor broke for a moment. His infamous smirk faltered, revealing something far more vulnerable behind it. “Luke, what are you guys hiding?” The puzzle pieces started to click into place about the day’s practice.

“Do you really want to know?” he timidly asked. You hadn’t seen him as nervous as he was at that moment.

You intently nodded your head.

“The guys were trying to keep it a secret, but I wrote that song myself about someone,” he shyly explained.

“Luke! That’s really cool, I knew there had to be a reason why I liked it so much.” You playfully bumped his hand.

Your response puzzled him. “You don’t want to know who it’s about?”

“Luke, your friends are not very good at keeping secrets,” you laughed.

“Are you serious?” he dumbfoundedly asked.

You couldn’t wipe the smile off your face. “Reggie accidentally told me last week,” you admitted.

“I’m gonna kill him,” Luke muttered, but you could see his lips twitching upwards.

“But he kept my secret, because he didn’t tell you that I like you back.” The last bit of your sentence was slightly mumbled as you tilted your head to the floor in embarrassment.

He softly grabbed your jaw and pulled you back up to his level.

“Sorry, I didn’t quite catch the last part.” And just like that, his smirk had returned.

You forced yourself to look up into his sparkling hazel eyes. “I like you, a lot, Luke.”

As he heard your words you swore you saw the fire in his eyes grow brighter. “I like you a lot too y/n.” His face was mere milimeters away from yours.

“Can I kiss you?” he asked softly.

Your eyes flicked from his lips back to his eyes. “Of course Patterson.” The gap closed between the two of you and it was like two worlds collided. His lips were slightly colder than yours as they softly melted into yours. You felt his one hand clutch your cheek softly, as the other held to the back of your neck. Your hands instinctively went to his hair as your kiss developed into something deeper, until the both of you had to swim to the surface for air.

As you caught your breath you realized that there were three very shocked occupants at the studio door.

You saw Reggie and Alex silently hand Julie ten bucks. “So do we have to watch you guys have eye sex still or are we good now?” Julie teased.

“Jules!” you groaned.

“She’s not wrong,” Reggie said as he walked past you.

Luke chuckled at your flustered state, “Yeah, I think we’re good now,” he responded, sending a wink in your direction that you rolled your eyes at.

“Great cause we have pizza!” Alex announced.

“Oh yay!” You were grateful for the attention being taken off of you.

“So does this mean that you were checking me out during rehearsal?” Luke asked, as you took a bite.

You rolled your eyes, but you decided to indulge him. “Yes, Patterson, I was checking you out.”

Alex grimaced. “Ohhh big mistake, he’s gonna hold that overhead for at least a month,” he warned.

You turned to Luke who clicked his tongue and finger gunned towards you in agreement. You resisted the urge to groan at your newest annoyance.

“But you’re stuck with me now,” Luke said with a mouthful.

“Luke, really?” Julie commented.

“Sorry,” he said, with his mouth still full.

You grinned at him, and despite his previous threat, you couldn’t be happier that you were finally stuck with him.

[the-king-andthe-lionheart]

A Dream is a Wish Your Heart Makes - Arya Stark and her Cinderella Motifs

In A Song of Ice and Fire, GRRM often uses fairy tale motifs to help tell a character’s story.  Sometimes this motif spans all throughout the characters arc while other times it will only be used for one or two scenes, or anywhere in between.  And often one character can have several fairy tale motifs at different times in their arcs or even running concurrently.  For Arya, she has quite a few fairy tale motifs in her arc, but for now I’m going to focus on her Cinderella motifs that are mainly prevalent in A Clash of Kings but do show up at other times all throughout her arc as well. I’m going to focus primarily on Arya’s A Clash of Kings arc, but we will be stopping by A Storm of Swords and A Feast for Crows a few times too.  And I am going to use several versions of the retellings of Cinderella, including the Disney version, but only the 1950 original and none of its sequels.  I also want to note that not all the parallels are obvious due to things being more metaphorical or symbolic, while other times being whatever subversion that tickled GRRM’s fancy at the time.

There are many common aspects across the board when it comes to Cinderella retellings.  Often it entails the heroine losing one or both of her parents, being oppressed by her abusive stepmother and stepsisters and being forced into menial, backbreaking labor that leaves the heroine dirty and often covered in ashes.  It usually entails a magical guardian who helps the heroine, magical transformations, ballgowns and a ball where she falls in love with either a Prince or a King. An identifying item is also involved, usually a slipper made of gold or glass, where one of the pair is lost when the heroine is running from her beloved.  And the Prince/King almost always searches the realm for the woman that identifying item belongs to, and when he finds the heroine they usually marry.

Written out like that it’s hard to believe that this is a motif used for Arya.  After all she’s not in the position to be going to balls and she’s just a child so it seems unlikely at the time she’s at Harrenhal she’s going to fall in love.  However, this motif appears all throughout her arc in various and creative and subversive and repetitive ways, and motifs don’t have to be all or none and they don’t have to be in the order the original stories were laid out.  A lot of people also don’t like the idea that Arya has an actual Disney Princess motif in her story because she’s a “tomboy”, but the fact is that Arya is a Princess at the time she’s at Harrenhal, it’s even explicitly stated in Arya X ACOK, whether people acknowledge it or not, where a lot of these motifs take place.  I know some people will be dismissive of this and think I’m reaching, but I hope upon reading this I’ll have convinced you of this motif being present. :)

Step-Mother and Step-Sisters

Some of the two most common features in any variant of Cinderella is the “Persecuted Heroine” and the “Female Persecutor”.  Often this manifests as the wicked stepmother and the evil step-sisters, but in some versions a stepmother does not appear, and it’s the heroine’s older sisters who confine her to the kitchens instead.  In the opera, La Cenerentola, Gioachino Rossini inverted the gender roles where the heroine Cenerentola is oppressed by her stepfather.  And in some retellings at least one of the step siblings is somewhat kind to the heroine even.  We symbolically see these archetypes many times in Arya’s narrative with various types of inversions.

When we enter ACOK, we find a dirty and disguised Arya traveling with Yoren and the Night’s Watch recruits, having just lost her father (a subversion of the prevalent theme of Cinderella losing her mother very young).  She is also being bullied by two older boys, Lommy and Hot Pie:

At Winterfell they [Sansa and Jeyne] had called her “Arya Horseface” and she’d thought nothing could be worse, but that was before the orphan boy Lommy Greenhands had named her “Lumpyhead.” - Arya I ACOK

That wasn’t the hardest part at all; Lommy Greenhands and Hot Pie were the hardest part. - Arya I ACOK

“Look at that sword Lumpyhead’s got there,” Lommy said one morning […] “Where’s a gutter rat like Lumpyhead get him a sword?”

[. . .]

“Maybe he’s a little squire,” Hot Pie put in. […] “Some lordy lord’s little squire boy, that’s it.”

“He ain’t no squire, look at him.  I bet that’s not even a real sword.  I bet it’s just some play sword made of tin.”

Arya hated them making fun of Needle.  “It’s castle-forged steel, you stupid,” she snapped, turning in the saddle to glare at them, “and you better shut your mouth.”

The orphan boys hooted.  “Where’d you get a blade like that, Lumpyface?” Hot Pie wanted to know.

“Lumpyhead,” corrected Lommy.  He prob’ly stole it.”

“I did not!” she shouted.  Jon Snow had given her Needle.  Maybe she had to let them call her Lumpyhead, but she wasn’t going to let them call Jon a thief.

“If he stole it, we could take it off him,” said Hot Pie.  “It’s not his anyhow.  I could use me a sword like that.”

Lommy egged him on.  “Go on, take it off him, I dare you.”

Hot Pie kicked his donkey, riding closer.  “Hey, Lumpyface, you gimme that sword.” […] “You don’t know how to use it.”

[. . .]

“Look at him,” brayed Lommy Greenhands.  “I bet he’s going to cry now.  You want to cry, Lumpyhead?” – Arya I ACOK

In the first two quotes we have Arya likening the behavior of Hot Pie and Lommy to that of Jeyne Poole and Sansa. In AGOT, Sansa and Jeyne took on the “evil step-sister” archetype (and before anybody attacks me, I don’t think these two are actually “evil”, just children who think it’s okay to bully someone who is different from them), but now we are shown that this archetype has temporarily shifted onto Lommy and Hot Pie, with some subversions.  These two are now male and they aren’t related to Arya in any way.  Some variants of the Cinderella story do portray male siblings mistreating the younger “Cinderella” sibling though.  One of the stories in One Thousand and One Nights depict a story called “Judar and his Brethren”, in which the main character is poisoned by his biological brothers in the end, depicting a rare tragic ending for this retelling. However, these subversions are completely fine because either way, they took on the role of the “bully” to Arya’s Cinderella archetype currently in the narrative.  

Furthermore, while Septa Mordane was the obvious “wicked stepmother” archetype to Arya’s Cinderella archetype in AGOT, I think arguably this has fallen to Cersei now (and the Lannister’s as a whole).  Cersei may not be present, but she is the reason why Arya is in the situation she is in right now.  After all, Cersei takes on the role of “Evil Queen” for Sansa and Jon (they both share Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs motifs) so I do think she is the metaphorical “wicked stepmother” in this equation regardless of the fact that Cersei isn’t anything remotely close to a stepmother to Arya in the narrative, but she fits the general archetype of “female persecutor” the most in the current situation.  For the case about Septa Mordane being a “wicked stepmother” archetype, I want to point to Cenerentola by Basile, in which the “wicked stepmother” started out as being the heroine’s governess, and Septa’s are the closest substitute to a governess in the universe of ASOIAF.

This isn’t the end to these archetypes being in play.  As the early chapters of ACOK go on we see the animosity between Lommy, Hot Pie, and Arya disappear to the point where they become allies and then friends. With this shift in dynamic we see the archetypes disappearing with some of these same characters taking on entirely new Cinderella archetypes, while the “wicked stepmother” and “evil step-sibling” archetypes move onto other characters as well.

At Harrenhal we are introduced to two wicked women who next take on the “evil step-sibling” archetype, Goodwife Harra and Goodwife Amabel.  These two even comment on Arya’s feet:

When Arya's turn came round, Goodwife Amabel clucked in dismay at the sight of her feet, while Goodwife Harra felt the callus on her fingers that long hours of practice with Needle had earned her. "Got those churning butter, I'll wager," she said. "Some farmer's whelp, are you? Well, never you mind, girl, you have a chance to win a higher place in this world if you work hard. If you won't work hard, you'll be beaten. And what do they call you?"

Arya dared not say her true name, but Arry was no good either, it was a boy’s name and they could see she was no boy.  “Weasel,” she said, naming the first girl she could think of.  “Lommy called me Weasel.”

“I can see why,” sniffed Goodwife Amabel.  “That hair is a fright and a nest for lice as well. We’ll have it off, and then you’re for the kitchens.”

“I’d sooner tend the horses.”  Arya liked horses, and maybe if she was in the stables she’d be able to steal one and escape.

Goodwife Harra slapped her so hard that her swollen lip broke open all over again.  “And keep that tongue to yourself or you’ll get worse.  No one asked your views.”

The blood in her mouth had a salty metal tang to it. Arya dropped her gaze and said nothing. If I still had Needle, she wouldn’t dare hit me, she thought sullenly.

“Lord Tywin and his knights have grooms and squires to tend their horses, they don’t need the likes of you,” Goodwife Amabel said. “The kitchens are snug and clean, and there’s always a warm fire to sleep by and plenty to eat.  You might have done well there, but I can see you’re not a clever girl.  Harra, I believe we should give this one to Weese.”

“If you think so, Amabel.”  They gave her a shift of grey roughspun wool and a pair of ill-fitting shoes and sent her off. – Arya VI ACOK

Later Goodwife Amabel even threatens to rape Arya:

Three Frey men-at-arms were using them that morning as Arya went to the well. She tried not to look, but she could hear the men laughing. The pail was very heavy once full. She was turning to bring it back to Kingspyre when Goodwife Amabel seized her arm. The water went sloshing over the side onto Amabel's legs. "You did that on purpose," the woman screeched.

"What do you want?" Arya squirmed in her grasp. Amabel had been half-crazed since they'd cut Harra's head off.

"See there?" Amabel pointed across the yard at Pia. "When this northman falls you'll be where she is."

"Let me go." She tried to wrench free, but Amabel only tightened her fingers.

"He will fall too, Harrenhal pulls them all down in the end. Lord Tywin's won now, he'll be marching back with all his power, and then it will be his turn to punish the disloyal. And don't think he won't know what you did!" The old woman laughed. "I may have a turn at you myself. Harra had an old broom, I'll save it for you. The handle's cracked and splintery—" - Arya X ACOK

Menial, Backbreaking Labor

When Arya is enslaved and forced into the oppressive walls of Harrenhal, she is forced to scrub floors and do other menial, backbreaking work from sunrise to sunset, just like Cinderella:

Weese used Arya to run messages, draw water, and fetch food, and sometimes to serve at table in the Barracks Hall above the armory, where the men-at-arms took their meals. But most of her work was cleaning. The ground floor of the Wailing Tower was given over to storerooms and granaries, and two floors above housed part of the garrison, but the upper stories had not been occupied for eighty years. Now Lord Tywin had commanded that they be made fit for habitation again. There were floors to be scrubbed, grime to be washed off windows, broken chairs and rotted beds to be carried off. The topmost story was infested with nests of the huge black bats that House Whent had used for its sigil, and there were rats in the cellars as well . . . and ghosts, some said, the spirits of Harren the Black and his sons. – Arya VII ACOK

She spent the rest of that day scrubbing steps inside the Wailing Tower. By evenfall her hands were raw and bleeding and her arms so sore they trembled when she lugged the pail back to the cellar. Too tired even for food, Arya begged Weese's pardons and crawled into her straw to sleep. – Arya VII ACOK

Magical Transformations and Mice

In Disney’s Cinderella, the fairy godmother transforms mice into different creatures.  On the road to Harrenhal, Arya not only likens herself to a sheep, but a mouse and continues her time at Harrenhal referring to herself as a “mouse”.  This is also a subversion, while Cinderella in the Disney incarnation befriends mice, in our story Arya becomes the meek mouse:

On the road Arya had felt like a sheep, but Harrenhal turned her into a mouse.  She was grey as a mouse in her scratchy wool shift, and like a mouse she kept to the crannies and crevices and dark holes of the castle, scurrying out of the way of the mighty. – Arya VII ACOK

He does not know me, she thought.  Arry was a fierce little boy with a sword, and I’m just a grey mouse girl with a pail. – Arya VII ACOK

She was very small and Harrenhal was very large, full of places where a mouse could hide. – Arya VII ACOK

Even Jaqen calls Arya a mouse:

She crept up quiet as a shadow, but he opened his eyes all the same.  “She steals in on little mice feet, but a man hears,” he said.  How could he hear me? She wondered, and it seemed as if he heard that as well.  “The scuff of leather on stone sings loud as warhorns to a man with open ears.  Clever girls go barefoot.” – Arya VIII ACOK

However, through Jaqen, Arya begins to feel more in control of her situation, stronger and is transformed, if only for a short time.

“…Some are saying it was Harren’s ghost flung him down.” He snorted to show what he thought of such notions.

It wasn’t Harren, Arya wanted to say, it was me. She has killed Chiswyck with a whisper, and she would kill two more before she was through.  I’m the ghost in Harrenhal, she thought.  And that night, there was one less name to hate. – Arya VII ACOK

I was a sheep, and then I was a mouse, I couldn’t do anything but hide.  Arya chewed her lip and tried to think when her courage had come back.  Jaqen made me brave again.  He made me a ghost instead of a mouse. – Arya IX ACOK

Lucifer the Cat

In Disney’s Cinderella, Lucifer is Lady Tremaine’s cat who is described as being a sly, wicked, and manipulative mouse consumer.  He spends the whole film trying to torment and catch the mice.  I feel that Weese takes on aspects of this feline character, and I think this because of certain descriptors that are given to Weese to make him appear almost catlike:

“Weasel,” Weese purred, “next time I see that mouth droop open, I’ll pull out your tongue and feed it to my bitch.” – Arya VII ACOK

In his own small strutting way, Weese was nearly as scary as Ser Gregor.  The Mountain swatted men like flies, but most of the time he did not even seem to know the fly was there.  Weese always knew you were there, and what you were doing, and sometimes what you were thinking.  He would hit at the slightest provocation, and he had a dog who was near as bad as he was, an ugly spotted bitch that smelled worse than any dog Arya had ever known. Once she saw him set the dog on a latrine boy who’d annoyed him.  She tore a big chunk out of the boy’s calf while Weese laughed. – Arya VII ACOK

So here we have Weese purring, strutting, being compared to the Mountain who swats at peoples, and being watchful and observant, very much like a cat.  And like in the movie, a dog attacks him.  Now Weese didn’t fall from a tower window, but Chiswyck fell/was pushed. Considering these two are the two people Arya had Jaqen kill, I wouldn’t be surprised if they are meant to make up two halves of a whole in this regard.  After all, they are both wicked creatures who prey upon the weak, just like Lucifer and they both got their just desserts for it.

Jaq the Mouse

In Disney’s Cinderella, Cinderella rescues mice from traps, as well as from Lucifer, and dresses and feeds them.  They perform favors in return.  At the beginning of the film, a mouse named Gus is trapped in a cage, and the leader of the mice finds him and retrieves Cinderella to free him.  The leader of the mice is a mouse named Jaq, and he was also a mouse that was saved by Cinderella from a cage.  This sounds awfully familiar…

Rushing through the barn doors was like running into a furnace.  The air was swirling with smoke, the back wall a sheet of fire ground to roof. Their horses and donkeys were kicking and rearing and screaming.  The poor animals, Arya thought.  Then she saw the wagon, and the three men manacled to its bed.  Biter was flinging himself against the chains, blood running down his arms from where the iron clasped his wrists.  Rorge screamed curses, kicking at the wood.  “Boy!” called Jaqen H’ghar.  “Sweet boy!”

[. . .]

“Good boys, kind boys,” called Jaqen H’ghar, coughing.

“Get these fucking chains off!” Rorge screamed.

[. . .]

Going back into that barn was the hardest thing she ever did.  Smoke was pouring out the open door like a writhing black snake, and she could hear the screams of the poor animals inside, donkeys and horses and men.  She chewed her lip, and darted through the doors, crouched low where the smoke wasn’t quite so thick.

A donkey was caught in a ring of fire, shrieking in terror and pain.  She could smell the stench of burning hair.  The roof was gone up too, and things were falling down, pieces of flaming wood and bits of straw and hay.  Arya put a hand over her mouth and nose.  She couldn’t see the wagon for the smoke, but she could still hear Biter screaming.  She crawled toward the sound.

And then a wheel was looming over her.  The wagon jumped and moved a half foot when Biter threw himself against his chains again.  Jaqen saw her, but it was too hard to breathe, let alone talk.  She threw the axe into the wagon.  Rorge caught it and lifted it over his head, rivers of sooty sweat pouring down his noseless face.  Arya was running, coughing.  She heard the steel crash through the old wood, and again, again. An instant later came a crack as loud as thunder, and the bottom of the wagon came ripping loose in an explosion of splinters. – Arya IV ACOK

So here we have Jaq who is leader of the mice, who also helps Cinderella by doing her favors.  Then we have Jaqen H’ghar who is the leader of Rorge and Biter (this name seems even more fitting now) and who is performing favors for Arya, which leads me to Jaqen’s dual Cinderella archetype: Fairy Godmother.

Magical Helpers

Some versions of Magical Helpers come from fairy godmothers or talking animals or genies.  In other versions this help comes to the heroine through her dead mother, often manifesting through animal aid.  In One Thousand and One Nights, in the story of “Judar and his Brethren” Judar is our Cinderella figure, whose own brothers betray and poison him, but before that he was gifted a genie named Al-Ra’ad al-Kasif who granted Judar’s wishes.  In the passage below Jaqen grants Arya three “wishes” which is typical for genies to grant in our popular consciousness:

She remembered that she hated him.  “You scared me.  You’re one of them now, I should have let you burn.  What are you doing here?  Go away or I’ll yell for Weese.”

“A man pays his debts.  A man owes three.”

“Three?”

“The Red God has his due, sweet girl, and only death may pay for life.  This girl took three that were his.  This girl must give three in their places.  Speak the names, and a man will do the rest.”

He wants to help me, Arya realized with a rush of hope that made her dizzy.  “Take me to Riverrun, it’s not far, if we stole some horses we could—”

He laid a finger on her lips.  “Three lives you shall have of me.  No more, no less.  Three and we are done.  So a girl must ponder.”  He kissed her hair softly.  “But not too long.” – Arya VII ACOK

Later, we also see that “wishes” have consequences, which is also prevalent when genies are concerned.  GRRM himself is a big fan of consequences and unintended side effects.  

Jaqen is not Arya’s only form of Magical Help at Harrenhal however.  Jaqen may take on the role of Fairy Godmother/Genie, but we also see Arya experiencing the help of not only an animal aid, but from a dead parent.  For instance, the heroine in Aschenputtel, by the Brother’s Grimm, is given a hazel twig by her father that she plants over her mother’s grave.  She waters it with tears and over the years it grows into a glowing hazel tree.  The girl prays under it three times a day, chanting, and a bird emerges from it that grants her wishes.  There are two instances of something similar happening in the books:

In the godswood she found her broomstick sword where she had left it, and carried it to the heart tree.  There she knelt.  Red leaves rustled.  Red eyes peered inside her.  The eyes of the gods.  “Tell me what to do, you gods,” she prayed.

For a long moment there was no sound but the wind and the water and the creak of leaf and limb.  And then, far far off, beyond the godswood and the haunted towers and the immense stone walls of Harrenhal, from somewhere out in the world, came the long lonely howl of a wolf.  Gooseprickles rose on Arya’s skin, and for an instant she felt dizzy.  Then, so faintly, it seemed as if she heard her father’s voice.  “When the snows fall and the white winds blow, the lone wolf dies, but the pack survives,” he said.

“But there is no pack,” she whispered to the weirwood.  Bran and Rickon were dead, the Lannisters had Sansa, Jon had gone to the Wall.  “I’m not even me now, I’m Nan.”

“You are Arya of Winterfell, daughter of the north. You told me you could be strong.  You have the wolf blood in you.”

“The wolf blood.”  Arya remembered now.  “I’ll be as strong as Robb.  I said I would.”  She took a deep breath, then lifted the broomstick in both hands and brought it down across her knee.  It broke with a loud crack, and she threw the pieces aside.  I am a direwolf, and done with wooden teeth. – Arya X ACOK

Here we see an inversion. Arya’s mother isn’t dead at this time, but her father, Ned is.  He is who we hear through the heart tree giving Arya this empowering “Mufasa” moment that gives way to Arya’s true transformation in this arc, she reclaims her identity.  And as soon as Arya asks the old gods for aid, a wolf howls in the distance as if in answer.  It’s not confirmed but I do truly believe that this howl came from Nymeria, by way of the Old Gods/Greenseers, who somehow helped strengthen their bond.  It is after this moment that Arya starts having full on wolf dreams in earnest and it’s through her first wolf dream that we see that Nymeria may have become Arya’s animal aid:

Her dreams were red and savage.  The Mummers were in them, four at least, a pale Lyseni and a dark brutal axeman from Ib, the scarred Dothraki horse lord called Iggo and a Dornishman whose name she never knew.  On and on they came, riding through the rain in rusting mail and wet leather, swords and axe clanking against their saddles.  They thought they were hunting her, she knew with all the strange sharp certainty of dreams, but they were wrong.  She was hunting them.

She was no little girl in the dream; she was a wolf, huge and powerful, and when she emerged from beneath the trees in front of them and bared her teeth in a low rumbling growl, she could small the rank stench of fear from horse and man alike.  The Lyseni’s mount reared and screamed in terror, and the others shouted at one another in mantalk, but before they could act the other wolves came hurtling from the darkness and the rain, a great pack of them, gaunt and wet and silent.

The fight was short but bloody.  The hairy man went down as he unslung his axe, the dark one died stringing an arrow, and the pale man from Lys tried to bolt.  Her brothers and sisters ran him down, turning him again and again, coming at him from all sides, snapping at the legs of his horse and tearing the throat from the rider when he came crashing to the earth. – Arya I ASOS

We see here that Nymeria and her pack protected Arya, Gendry, and Hot Pie against their pursuers after their escape from Harrenhal.

Here is another instance of Arya praying under the heart tree:

Arya went to her knees.  She wasn’t sure how she should begin.  She clasped her hands together.  Help me, you old gods, she prayed silently.  Help me get those men out of the dungeon so we can kill Ser Amory, and bring me home to Winterfell.  Make me a water dancer and a wolf and not afraid again, ever.

Was that enough?  Maybe she should pray aloud if she wanted the old gods to hear.  Maybe she should pray longer.  Sometimes her father had prayed a long time, she remembered. But the old gods had never helped him. Remembering that made her angry. “You should have saved him,” she scolded the tree.  “He prayed to you all the time.  I don’t care if you help me or not.  I don’t think you could even if you wanted to.”

“Gods are not mocked, girl.”

The voice startled her.  She leapt to her feet and drew her wooden sword.  Jaqen H’ghar stood so still in the darkness that he seemed one of the trees.  “A man comes to hear a name.  One and two and then comes three.  A man would have done.”

Arya lowered the splintery point toward the ground. “How did you know I was here?”

“A man sees.  A mean hears.  A man knows.”

She regarded him suspiciously.  Had the gods sent him?  “How’d you make the dog kill Weese?  Did you call Rorge and Biter up from hell?  Is Jaqen H’ghar your true name?

“Some men have many names.  Weasel.  Arry. Arya.”

She backed away from him, until she was pressed against the heart tree.  “Did Gendry tell?”

“A man knows,” he said again.  “My lady of Stark.”

Maybe the gods had sent him in answer to her prayers. – Arya IX ACOK

In Cenerentola, the heroine’s (Zezolla) father is given a date seedling by a fairy and he gives it to his daughter.  Zezolla cultivates the tree in which a fairy lives.  This fairy gives Zezolla magical aid.  When Arya prayed beneath the heart tree in the above quote it almost seems like Jaqen appeared from the trees, leaving Arya to question if the old gods sent him.

And like in Aschenputtel and Disney’s Cinderella, Arya spends time at Harrenhal singing/chanting to herself as well:

Barefoot surefoot lightfoot, she sang under her breath. I am the ghost in Harrenhal. – Arya IX ACOK

This is very strange for a couple of reasons.  When we first meet Arya she claims not to like songs and doesn’t sing.  She continues this up until she goes to Braavos. There she discovers that she likes the bawdy songs when she is using the name, Cat of the Canals.  The only exception to this is when Arya is at Harrenhal. Another reason this is odd is because of where Arya is at physically and mentally.  So either Arya was always lying about not liking songs, or Arya singing here is supposed to tell us something.

And while this might not mean anything, I found it interesting that Arya spends a lot of her time in ACOK barefoot.  Now Cinderella isn’t really said to be barefoot in the stories, but she did usually lose a shoe when running away from the Prince/King, hence making her barefoot. When Arya decides to escape Harrenhal, she does don a pair of shoes again and from then on out she mostly wears them.  This also leads to a fun bit of subversion.  In the originals tales it’s always the Prince/King saving Cinderella from further oppression.  But in Arya X ACOK, not only did she (a princess) plan the escape, but she saves Gendry, a lost (albeit bastard) prince, along with Hot Pie, from further oppression (and torture and death) by their slavers in their prison camp.  (Hot Pie definitely reminds me of Gus Gus as well by the way :D)

From Rags to Riches

In many versions of Cinderella, we also see the heroine become physically transformed.  The heroine is usually dirty, covered in ashes, and wearing “rags” before they are made over.  In the most popular version, Disney’s Cinderella, the Fairy Godmother magically turns her from dirty household servant to highborn lady, adorning her in a silver ballgown and glass slippers.  In Ye Xian, magical fish bones, help the heroine dress appropriately for a local Festival, including a light, golden shoe.  And in Aschenputtel, the doves that emerge from her hazel tree, that grant the heroine wishes, drop a gold and silver gown and silk shoes down to her to wear to the ball.  Also, noticeably, this is the time the Prince/King notices Cinderella and finally “sees” her.

While we didn’t get anything like that in ACOK, we don’t have to look much farther than ASOS, when Arya goes to Acorn Hall and meets Lady Smallwood, who puts her in two different dresses:

And afterward, they insisted she dress herself in girl’s things, brown woolen stockings and a light linen shift, and over that a light green gown with acorns embroidered all over the bodice in brown thread, and more acorns bordering the hem. – Arya IV ASOS

It was even worse than before; Lady Smallwood insisted that Arya take another bath, and cut and comb her hair besides; the dress she put her in this time was sort of lilac-colored, and decorated with little baby pearls.  The only good thing about it was that it was so delicate that no one could expect her to ride in it. – Arya IV ASOS

And while there is no ball, Arya and Gendry spend their time in the forge together.  This is the very first time Gendry has seen Arya look like a proper lady.  Cinderella and Arya are no longer dirty and in rags and they are now in gowns looking their place in society, despite Arya’s dress not being nearly as grand.  However, it’s enough of a change for Gendry to finally realize just who Arya truly is when it comes to her place in the world.  And judging by his behavior after this event, he also begins to acknowledge that if he continues to stay by her side he could potentially love her romantically in the future as well:  

Gendry reached out with the tongs as if to pinch her face, but Arya swatted them away.

[. . .]

Gendry put the hammer down and looked at her.  “You look different now.  Like a proper little girl.”

“I look like an oak tree, with all these stupid acorns.”

“Nice, though.  A nice oak tree.”  He stepped closer, and sniffed at her.  “You even smell nice for a change.” – Arya IV ASOS

Runaway Princess

Now we may not have had a ball, but while taking shelter in a stone stable with the Brotherhood Without Banners, Arya does run outside, trying to get away from everyone:

His words beat at her ears like the pounding of a drum, and suddenly it was more than Arya could stand.  She wanted Riverrun, not Acorn Hall; she wanted her mother and her brother Robb, not Lady Smallwood or some uncle she never knew.  Whirling, she broke for the door, and when Harwin tried to grab her arm she spun away from him quick as a snake.

Outside the stables the rain was still falling, and distant lightning flashed in the west.  Arya ran as fast as she could.  She did not know where she was going, only that she wanted to be alone, away from all the voices, away from their hollow words and broken promises.  All I wanted was to go to Riverrun.  It was her own fault, for taking Gendry and Hot Pie with her when she left Harrenhal.  She would have been better alone.  If she had been alone, the outlaws would never have caught her, and she’d be with Robb and her mother by now.  They were never my pack.  If they had been, they wouldn’t leave me.  She splashed through a puddle of muddy water.  Someone was shouting her name, Harwin probably, or Gendry, but the thunder drowned them out as it rolled across the hills half a heartbeat behind the lightning.  The lightning lord, she thought angrily.  Maybe he couldn’t die, but he could lie. – Arya VIII ASOS

Now it’s not explicitly clear that it was Gendry who ran after Arya, calling her name, but due to the possible symbolism in the scene, and also his behavior in AFFC, it makes me think it was him.  But whether he was or not I believe just Arya believing it might be him makes this applicable enough as a loose parallel for the Prince chasing after Cinderella, only for Cinderella to disappear like in many of the Cinderella retellings.  

Searching the Realm

At the end of ASOS in the epilogue we learn that Lady Stoneheart and the Brotherhood Without Banners, who Gendry is a part of is actively searching for Arya:

The outlaw gave him (Merrett Frey) an encouraging smile. “Well, as it happens, we’re looking for a dog that ran away.”

“A dog?” Merrett was lost.  “What kind of dog?”

“He answers to the name Sandor Clegane […] Did you see him at the wedding, perchance?”

[. . .]

“He would have had a child with him,” said the singer.  “A skinny girl, about ten.  Or perhaps a boy the same age.”

“I don’t think so,” said Merrett.  “Not that I knew.” – Epilogue ASOS

In many retellings of the Cinderella story, the Prince/King searches the realm looking for the heroine with an identifying item, and typically that item is a shoe of some sort.  Once the shoe is placed on the heroine’s foot it symbolically means the heroine is reclaiming her identity.  Arya, however, didn’t lose a shoe, and I’d argue that when Ned/the Old Gods/the Greenseers spoke to Arya through the heart tree, empowering Arya, that’s when Arya reclaimed her identity, at least for that time as Arya must reclaim her identity multiple times in her arc.  I’d argue that Arya’s connection to the North and her family is her overall identifying item. But I fully believe Gendry himself might be another “identifying item,” along with him still taking on the archetypal role of “prince”.

Why do I say this? Because in AFFC Gendry is stationed at one of the last known places Arya was sighted at with the Hound, the Crossroads Inn, where he is blacksmithing while also helping to look after orphans. He was likely stationed there by Lady Stoneheart and the Brotherhood Without Banners because he knew Arya the best out of everyone (remember LSH would probably have a hard time recognizing Arya after two plus years and a resurrection).  So if she returned, he would not only have a better chance at recognizing her, but also possibly a better chance at keeping her there compared to anyone else.  If people are doubting that this is Gendry’s role, just remember that the BWB is actively looking for Arya, and also note Gendry’s personality shift post-ASOS. Gendry has always been rude and moody, but in AFFC it has been taken to the extreme.  He is absolutely furious and instead of being just plain rude, he’s actually become mean and more violent.  He also seems to have something against the Hound now, someone who he previously had nothing against during the Hound’s trial by combat earlier in ASOS:

…The boy came and stood beside her, his hammer in his hand.

Lightning cracked to the south as the riders swung down off their horses.  For half a heartbeat darkness turned to day.  An axe gleamed silvery blue, light shimmered off mail and plate, and beneath the dark hood of the lead rider Brienne glimpsed an iron snout and rows of steel teeth, snarling.

Gendry saw it too.  “Him.”

“Not him.  His helm.” Brienne tried to keep the fear from her voice, but her mouth was dry as dust. – Brienne VII AFFC

That “him” was very pointed and because of the symbolism in the scene surrounding that “him” and the overall change in Gendry’s behavior I definitely take it to mean Gendry does have a problem with the Hound now.  So what changed?  The Hound kidnapped Arya.  I think it’s safe to say that Gendry is just as invested as the rest of the BWB, if not more so, to finding Arya again, hence making him the “prince” searching the realm for his lost Cinderella.

A Dream Is a Wish Your Heart Makes

In Disney’s Cinderella, songs like “Bibbidi-Bobbidi-Boo”, “So This Is Love”, “Cinderella”, “A Dream Is a Wish Your Heart Makes”, “Oh, Sing Sweet Nightingale”, and “The Work Song” are included into the film.  This isn’t the first time we’ve seen something like this in the previous retellings however.  Like I mentioned earlier the Brother’s Grimm, Aschenputtel, features this as well to some extant.  In Aschenputtel, the heroine would “sing a chant” to call upon the white doves that came from her glowing hazel tree.  These birds would help her grant wishes and help her complete tasks, and it was most likely the inspiration for why birds were included in the Disney version, although birds have featured in more than just Aschenputtel.  I mention this because GRRM wrote Arya a song in the novels:

“My featherbed is deep and soft,

and there I'll lay you down,

I'll dress you all in yellow silk,

and on your head a crown.

For you shall be my lady love,

and I shall be your lord.

I'll always keep you warm and safe,

and guard you with my sword.

 “And how she smiled and how she laughed,

the maiden of the tree.

She spun away and said to him,

no featherbed for me.

I'll wear a gown of golden leaves,

and bind my hair with grass,

But you can be my forest love,

and me your forest lass.”

This is very clearly a love song also and we know it’s most likely about Arya and her foreshadowing a possible future relationship with Gendry.  And it’s very clearly about them as Gendry is a bastard Baratheon “prince”, hence the mentions of “yellow silk” and a “crown”, and also because Arya quite literally is dressed as an oak tree at this time and almost a maiden and will be a maiden when they reunite later in the series.  We also know the song is meant to foreshadow them because of the context.  Tom O’Seven’s specifically winked at Arya as he sang this song, and after the song was sung Lady Smallwood, when taking Arya to get changed into a different dress, said to Arya, “I have no gowns of leaves,” which further tells the readers that this song is Arya’s song, her future love song.

A Mother’s Legacy

In the Magical Helpers section above I mentioned that a dead parent may be the one to help the heroine instead of the typical fairy godmother, by either sending an animal to aid the heroine and/or granting wishes, or by the heroine’s mother transforming into an animal.  In some Greek versions, in “the Balkan-Slavonic tradition of the tale”, and in some Central Asian variants, the heroine’s mother comes back as a cow who is then killed by the heroine’s sisters.  The heroine eventually gathers the bones and from her mother’s grave the heroine is gifted wonderful dresses.  In other variants, the heroine’s dead mother comes back as a fish or a female dog. These animals represent the heroine’s mother’s legacy.

Jon chuckled. “Perhaps you should do the same thing, little sister.  Wed Tully to Stark in your arms.”

“A wolf with a fish in its mouth?” It made her laugh.  “That would look silly…” – Arya I AGOT

That night she went to sleep thinking of her mother, and wondering if she should kill the Hound in his sleep and rescue Lady Catelyn herself.  When she closed her eyes she saw her mother’s face against the back of her eyelids.  She’s so close I could almost smell her…

…and then she could smell her.  The scent was faint beneath the other smells, beneath moss and mud and water, and the stench of rotting reeds and rotting men.  She padded slowly through the soft ground to the river’s edge, lapped up a drink, then lifted her head to sniff.  The sky was grey and thick with cloud, the river green and full of floating things.  Dead men clogged the shallows, some still moving as the water pushed them, others washed up on the banks.  Her brothers and sisters swarmed around them, tearing at the rich ripe flesh.

[. . .]

The scent was stronger now [. . .] Only the scent mattered.  She sniffed the air again.  There it was, and now she saw it too, something pale and white drifting down the river, turning where it brushed against a snag.  The reeds bowed down before it.

She splashed noisily through the shallows and threw herself into the deeper water, her legs churning.  The current was strong but she was stronger.  She swam, following her nose.  The river smells were rich and wet, but those were not the smells that pulled her.  She paddled after the sharp red whisper of cold blood, the sweet cloying stench of death.  She chased them as she had often chased a red deer through the trees, and in the end she ran them down, and her jaw closed around a pale white arm.  She shook it to make it move, but there was only death and blood in her mouth.  By now she was tiring, and it was all she could do to pull the body back to shore. As she dragged it up the muddy bank, one of her little brothers came prowling, his tongue lolling from his mouth. She had to snarl to drive him off, or else he would have fed.  Only then did she stop to shake the water from her fur.  The white thing lay facedown in the mud, her dead flesh wrinkled and pale, cold blood trickling from her throat.  Rise, she thought.  Rise and eat and run with us. – Arya XII ASOS

“So you sewed his head on Robb Stark’s neck after both o’ them were dead,” said yellow cloak.

“My [Merrett Frey] father did that [. . .] I only drank some wine…you have no witness.”

“As it happens, you’re wrong there.”  The singer turned to the hooded woman.  “Milady?”

The outlaws parted as she came forward, saying no word.  When she lowered her hood, something tightened inside Merrett’s chest, and for a moment he could not breathe.  No.  No, I saw her die.  She was dead for a day and night before they stripped her naked and threw her body in the river.  Raymund opened her throat from ear to ear.  She was dead.

Her cloak and collar hid the gash his brother’s blade had made, but her face was even worse than he remembered.  The flesh had gone pudding soft in the water and turned the color of curdled milk. Half her hair was gone and the rest had turned as white and brittle as a crone’s.  Beneath her ravaged scalp, her face was shredded skin and black blood where she had raked herself with her nails.  But her eyes were the most terrible thing.  Her eyes saw him, and they hated.

“She don’t speak,” said the big man in the yellow cloak.  “You bloody bastards cut her throat too deep for that.  But she remembers.”  He turned to the dead woman and said, “What do you say, m’lady?  Was he part of it?”

Lady Catelyn’s eyes never left him.  She nodded. – Epilogue ASOS

In the Chinese retelling of Cinderella, Ye Xian, the heroine befriends a fish, which is the reincarnation of her deceased mother.  In The Story of Tam and Cam, a Vietnamese version, the heroine Tam also had a fish which was killed by the stepmother and the half-sister, and its bones also give her clothes.  And a typical scene in Kapmalaien tales is the mother becoming a fish, being eaten in fish form, the daughter burying her bones and a tree sprouting from her grave.

So not only is Lady Catelyn a symbolic fish, a daughter of House Tully, but she’s also been resurrected (reincarnated), and is looking specifically for our heroine, Arya, who I believe will be gifted several various things (both good and bad) by this incarnation of her mother, but we shall see if the parallel continues when TWOW and ADOS come out.

Conclusion

I really hope that after you read this monster you were as convinced as I am that Arya indeed has Cinderella motifs, and an extensive amount of them as well. Whatever it may mean I don’t rightly know, but what I do know is that at the end of the day, the many stories of Cinderella are an analogy.  An analogy about someone “who unexpectedly achieves recognition or success after a period of obscurity and neglect”.  Of someone whose attributes were unrecognized in their society, only for them to be recognized.  And I don’t know about you, but that sounds pretty hand in hand with one of her other biggest fairy tale motifs as well that runs concurrently with the Cinderella motif, and that is the story of “The Ugly Duckling”, who after years of neglect, finds acceptance within society, as well as self-acceptance within themselves. :)

[odos-bucket]

In Which Each of Bruce’s Kids Come Out to Him

and then he comes out to them

Dick

They’re working on opposite sides of the coffee table in one of the manor’s more habitable sitting room’s. It’s become a regular part of their weekday routine: Bruce finishes up whatever office work he has to do, while Dick does his homework, and talks about his day. Usually there are snacks involved. A parenting book Bruce had read recommended trying to get their work done together. It’s a good way to keep connected with their increasingly busy schedules.

“So anyways…” Dick’s story is starting to slow down a little bit, and the shift in tone has Bruce glancing up from his paperwork. “I should probably tell you, since, well, everyone knows at school now.” His voice is still conversational, and relaxed, but a little distracted.

Bruce shifts him his full attention.

“See, what happened was Cameron Josephs in my third period biology class came to school with nail polish on today, which I noticed with my clever detective skills, and promptly dismissed as unimportant, and everyone else noticed with their nosy pre-teen skills, and promptly lost their shi- I mean, minds over. And that was Mrs. Horton’s class, and she has absolutely no control over her students, so it sort of became this whole big thing. Kids were making fun of him, and other kids were yelling at them to knock it off, and he was just trying to do his work, but the rest of the class got into a big fight. And then Brad Cormick- he’s on my basketball team- made a homophobic joke, and we were sitting at the same table, and I could tell that he wanted me to laugh at it. So I told him to shut up, and said that I was bisexual, not that any of it really had anything to do with anything else that was going on, but it did get him to shut up, which was good. Except that I think it may have been because I have more friends than Cameron does, which is totally unfair, and everyone should just be nice to everyone else no matter what, but also I guess not really the point… The point is, yeah, I’m bi. Oh, also frog dissection got moved to tomorrow because one kid threw up.”

Dick takes a deep breath (finally) and a long sip of his juice, before immediately returning to doodling athletic stick figures in the margins of his algebra homework.

Bruce studies him for a moment, trying to figure out what kind of response is expected of him, what would be helpful for Dick to hear. He’s really not very good at this kind of thing.

He’s saved from the risk of putting his foot in his mouth when the science class story continues.

“Are frogs really that gross? I don’t think they are. But I guess our basement is filled with guano, so maybe my tolerance is heightened by regular exposure to the substance most frequently equated with insanity.”

Dick hadn’t seemed nervous before coming out, or relieved after. And if he’s not going to make it into a big deal then neither is Bruce, even if a part of him feels pleasantly warmed by the casual show of trust.

Jason

Bruce loves picking up his kids from school. It’s not something that his schedule allows him to do very often, and Jason- as Dick had been before him- always seems pleasantly surprised to see him. It’s a little thing in the grand scheme, but it’s just nice, normal. And he would never say it out loud- he’s not sure why, he knows he should- but he cherishes the little bit of extra time spent with his boys.

But today Jason isn’t happy to see him.

Bruce pulls up to the curb, and only has to scan the crowd of teenagers for a few seconds before spotting him. He’s on a bench with another student, their shoulders pressed together despite wide swaths of free space available on either side of them. Jason’s pointing out something in a textbook, while the other boy plays with his free hand.

Bruce pulls slightly to the side to let another car drive around him, figuring he’ll give Jason a few minutes to finish up, and notice that Bruce is there, rather than call out and risk embarrassing him.

It’s not even a full minute before they make eye contact across the lot, and immediately something in Jason’s expression changes. His eyes go wide and startled, his posture suddenly tightened. In one fast motion he shuts his book with both hands, muttering something to his friend as he practically throws himself off the bench.

Now feeling on high alert, Bruce sweeps an intense gaze over the school yard for anything that could have upset his son. He doesn’t manage to spot anything before Jason arrives at the car and pulls himself into the backseat (where he never sits, unless the front is already occupied). He starts talking before Bruce can ask what’s wrong.

“That wasn’t what it looked like!”

Bruce frowns, and looks over both Jason and the area in front of the school in an attempt to identify something that isn’t like how it looks.

“He just-“ Jason flinches, seemingly realizing something wrong with whatever he’d been about to say, and cuts himself off with a sharp breath. “I mean-“

Feeling lost is by no means a new part of parenthood for Bruce, and he’s sure it’s something he’ll experience many more times going forward. But, god, he really hates not understanding what’s going on, not knowing what to do, and he doubts that he’ll ever get used to it.

“Jason,” he tries. “Slow down.”

“Yes, sir,” Jason answers automatically. “Sorry.”

It’s been over a year since Jason’s called him ‘sir’ and the sudden reintroduction of the honorific sends a cold chill down Bruce’s spine. For a second they just stare at each other, with what Bruce is pretty sure are matching expressions of partially concealed horror.

“Jason,” he says more quietly.

“I know,” Jason interrupts. “I’m sorry. Please-“ He stops himself, covering his mouth before he can finish the thought, and then just as quickly lowering the hand back to his lap.

Another silence follows, short but harrowing. Then finally Bruce makes a rare admission

“I have no idea what’s happening right now.”

Jason stares at him, and the wider his eyes get the younger he looks, and the more Bruce wants to scoop him up into his arms. But he just waits, and tries not to look too expectant.

“I-I was holding hands with Derek,” Jason breaths out.

“…Alright?” He’s heard that name before. Jason doesn’t have as many friends at school as Dick had, so they’re a little easier to keep track of, even if Bruce has only ever met any of them in passing. “Is this someone you’re worried I’ll embarrass you in front of?” He asks after a brief pause.

Jason keeps staring at him, expression crinkling as his breathing grows erratic.

Bruce finds himself automatically exaggerating his own inhales and exhales, resting the side of one hand against his sternum, to remind Jason of some of their breathing exercises.

“That’s it, chum,” he says as he sees it slowly begin to work. “Everything’s okay.” For all he knows- or doesn’t know- right now it might not even be true, but dammit for his kid he will make everything okay.

“Everything’s okay,” Jason obediently echoes.

Bruce takes his hand off his chest, and starts to reach towards him. But Jason flinches away from him, not as violently as he had back when they were still new to each others’ lives, but it’s enough to make Bruce feel sick. He can practically feel the wrongness of it squeezing his heart into shards as he slowly withdraws his arm back into the front seat. He had truly thought that they had gotten past this.

“I’m sorry, Jay,” he says softly, a small concession to the part of himself that wants to beg his son’s forgiveness for whatever he’s done to make him afraid. “I’m so sorry.”

Jason’s not looking at him anymore. His head is down, and his gaze is fixed on his knees.

Bruce hesitates.

“I’ll never hurt you.” It’s a reassurance he had thought they were past the point of needing, but if they aren’t he’ll say it as many times as he has to. “Never.”

“Are you mad?”

“Is there something particular that I’m supposed to be mad about?” Bruce asks carefully.

“... That I was holding hands with a guy,” Jason elaborates, after a steadying breath.

Oh, Bruce is an idiot. What kind of detective is he if he can’t even- He cuts himself off, realizing he can’t wait too long to respond to that.

“Of course not. That’s what this is about?”

“I never meant for you to find out,” is the response he gets. And doesn’t that just hurt like hell to hear?

“That you like boys?” Bruce confirms.

“And girls, both. But I didn’t know what you’d think, so I figured if I couldn’t be sure it was better to keep it to myself.”

Bruce closes his eyes, taking a second to calm his own breathing.

“I never want you to feel like that,” he says. “About anything. I’m sorry I didn’t make that clear. I love you, Jaylad, that isn’t contingent on anything.”

I wish I could have protected you from whatever it was that made you feel like this was something you had to hide. He doesn’t say it.

Jason is finally looking at him again, gaze thoughtful and careful. A long moment passes, before he surprises- and momentarily terrifies- Bruce by getting out of the car. But before he can react to that, Jason’s climbing into the passenger seat, and after a second of hesitation, leaning into Bruce’s side.

“Okay,” he says quietly, sounding a little choked up.

Bruce puts an arm around his shoulders. The closeness is a balm after the pain of having his son flinch away from him.

Tim

Tim isn’t supposed to come over today. His parents are in town, and Bruce had made a point of hiding his reluctance when he’d given Robin the week off, chastising himself for the empty nest syndrome he has no right to be experiencing- at least in regards to this particular child.

So he’s surprised when he hears Alfred’s throat clear, and looks up to see both Alfred and Tim lingering in the doorway to his office. It would be odd to see him here at this time of day even if they had been planning to go on patrol; sunset is still a few hours off.

Bruce immediately has a bad feeling. He knows it’s commonplace for the Drakes to disappear unexpectedly partway through whatever length of time they were meant to be spending at home. As Batman it’s made his life easier numerous times. As a parent it’s beyond his comprehension. If he still had his boys at home- but he can’t think about that, not without breaking down, and if Tim’s just been abandoned that’s the last thing he needs.

As he approaches the door, Alfred’s pointed look, and Tim’s vacant expression confirm that he’s right to be concerned.

“Tim.” He keeps his voice neutral. “I wasn’t expecting to see you today.”

He picks up on Alfred’s glare a fraction of a second too late to realize that he’s said the wrong thing.

“I’m sorry.” There’s something miserable in Tim’s voice, that makes Bruce want to bundle him up in a blanket. Before he can assure him that he has nothing to apologize for, Alfred cuts in.

“I told Master Tim that he’s welcome to stay with us for as long as he needs.”

Bruce nods automatically, looking down at Tim, who’s glassy expression looks a million miles away.

“Tim,” he says gently, eventually drawing the boy’s gaze, but feeling disconcerted by how delayed the response is.

Alfred leaves with a comment about putting a kettle on for tea, closing the door firmly but softly behind him. The sound it makes as it pulls all the way shut still makes Tim twitch.

“Do you want to sit down?” Bruce offers.

Tim stumbles a bit on his way to the couch. He’s so out of it; He won’t be patrolling tonight, even if his schedule’s suddenly open for it. Bruce sits down on the other side.

“Are they gone again?” He asks, trusting fully that the vaguely worded question will be completely understood.

There’s a worrying delay before Tim shakes his head, giving Bruce ample time to wish for Alfred back before he can register the response enough to be surprised by it.

“So...“ he begins uncertainly, before being cut off.

“I’m sorry,” Tim says again. “I don’t mean to be a bother.”

“You aren’t a bother, Tim.”

The- admittedly somewhat monotone- assurance just gets him a shrug.

“Can you tell me what happened?” He tries.

“Do I have to?” Tim asks after a long silence. “Can’t I just stay here?”

Bruce frowns.

“Of course you can stay here. But I think I really need to know what’s going on.”

Tim stares at him, eyes shining, mouth opening and closing several times before he speaks.

“Can I- Alfred says I can tell you something, and you won’t get mad?”

“Well, that depends on what it is,” Bruce says, thinking back on every time a robin has had something to tell him, but first wanted confirmation that he wouldn’t be angry.

Tim seems to shrink at his words, his breath catching audibly as he curls in on himself. Fuck, Bruce is bad at this.

“What do you have to tell me?” He asks.

“Well now I don’t know if I want to!” It almost comes out as a yell, strained by the sound of held back tears, and Bruce is a little taken aback.

“I’ll probably find out at some point,” he reasons.

There’s a beat of silence, and then Tim chokes on something that sounds like a suppressed sob.

No, no, no no. This isn’t supposed to happen. Bruce reaches out for him in an awkward and hastily aborted movement.

“I can’t,” Tim says after a minutes, tears streaking over his pale cheeks. “If you don’t-“ His voice catches. “I need you to let me stay here.”

Bruce’s heart hurts as he scooches a little closer, reaching out to rest a hand- hopefully not too awkwardly- on Tim’s shoulder.

“Of course you can stay here,” he reiterates. “I told you you could stay here. Even if I’m mad at you you can stay here. If you-“ He searches for a moment. “-Took the batmobile out on a joyride, and drove it into the harbor, I’ll be mad at you, but you’ll still have a place here. One will never have anything to do with the other.”

Tim makes a noise that’s over too quickly for Bruce to be able to tell if it had been a laugh, or just more crying.

“Did Jason do that?” He asks in a hoarse voice.

“Dick,” Bruce corrects.

This time Tim definitely snorts, which has Bruce smiling in spite of himself.

“Did you do something worse than that?” He asks.

It’s meant to be a joke, but Tim makes an unhappy face at the question.

“I- no!” He says, defensive, but confident. “I didn’t do anything wrong!”

Bruce gives his shoulder a squeeze before releasing it.

“Then why would I be mad at you?”

The humor that had begun to make its way into Tim’s expression disappears again, and Bruce curses himself.

“Mom and Dad were mad,” he says quietly.

Bruce scowls. He tries pretty hard not to let his dislike of Jack and Janet show around Tim- though he’s long suspected the young detective can tell- but it’s harder to hide sometimes than others.

“You said they were still home,” he remembers. “Tim, did they kick you out?” He does his best to keep the anger out of his voice.

And then he finds himself doing his best to keep the anger off of his face when it takes Tim a moment to answer the question.

“I don’t think forever,” he says uncertainly. “Just- They said they needed time to think about it, to d-decide what to do.”

The slight stutter puts him over the age, and fury starts to trickle into Bruce’s voice.

“To think about what?” He demands. Hell, that place is more Tim’s home than it is theirs. They have absolutely no right to ask him to leave! And where the hell do they expect him to go? Bruce forces himself to clench his jaw, and take deep breaths.

“...I’m gay,” Tim finally says.

Bruce stares at him for the second that it takes for the words to register, and connect back to the rest of the conversation.

“That’s it?”

He’s wincing at himself before the question is all the way out of his mouth, immediately convinced that he’s said the wrong thing again. But then, to his immense relief, he realizes that Tim has started laughing. It isn’t deep, or sustained. His voice is still a little weak, and his eyes are still a little red. But he’s definitely laughing, and Bruce realizes vaguely that a robin laughing is still his favorite sound in the world.

“That’s it,” Tim confirms, on the tail end of his laugh.

“Oh, Tim.”

Bruce doesn’t give himself a chance to second guess the motion before he pulls the boy into a hug, satisfied that it was the right course of action when he feels Tim melt against him.

“Of course I’m not mad, of course I’m not mad,” he repeats like a mantra. “I’m sorry I let you think I would be. You’re right, you didn’t do anything wrong.”

A few seconds pass, and he realizes there’s a wet patch at his shoulder where Tim’s face is buried. Bruce freezes, totally unsure of what he’s done wrong this time.

“I’m sorry,” Tim breaths out. “I- thank you. Thank you! I don’t know what I would have done if- I- I don’t want to be alone!”

“Not alone,” Bruce promises. “You’re not alone. It’s okay. You’re going to be okay.”

Tim presses closer, and Bruce takes it as a cue to tighten his hold.

Alfred finds them like that a few minutes later, Tim curled up in his arms, while Bruce cycles through reassurances. The look they exchange is enough to confirm that they’re both thinking the same thing: this kid is ours.

Cass

One day Cass hangs a little pride flag up on her door. Later in the week when she catches Bruce glancing at it, she comes up to him, gives the flag a meaningful nod, before just saying, “Girls!” in a happy voice, giving him a hug, and disappearing down the hall.

Damian

Bruce can identify every member of his family by their knock, but Damian’s is particularly distinctive. Not just because it tends to come from a lower part of the door, but because Damian has cultivated a strong knock, the way businessmen cultivate a strong handshake. It’s a very confident and determined sound, that he often finds himself stifling a smile at, knowing that that isn’t at all the intended reaction.

“Come in,” he calls, and there’s no pause before Damian strides into his office, confident as ever. When he speaks however, the undercurrents of his voice tell a different story.

“Father, there is something I wish to discuss with you.” There are a few hesitations, that don’t quite manage to turn into stutters in his voice, ones it’s unlikely anyone outside of their family would notice.

Bruce doesn’t comment on them, just nods for Damian to sit down and continue.

His legs don’t fully reach the floor. Something else that Bruce has learned not to let himself smile at.

“Grayson says…” he begins confidently, before trailing off.

Bruce just raises an eyebrow for him to continue, not feeling like he has enough information to put anything together from at the moment.

“Richard says,” Damian continues more carefully. “He came out to you as bisexual when he was around my age?”

Bruce nods. He has a feeling that he knows where this is going this time.

“He did.”

“He said that you were okay with it?”

Bruce nods again.

“Dick is my son. My love for him isn’t conditional, certainly not on that. There’s nothing wrong with not being straight.”

Damian had broached the topic using Dick as a proxy, so Bruce had followed his lead and assumed that Damian would know to automatically apply the assurance to himself. But Damian’s face just falls into a puzzled frown.

“So why…” he begins, before changing track. “Richard isn’t your biological son.”

Bruce frowns back.

“Damian, you know that doesn’t make a difference to me. I don’t love your siblings any less because they’re not-”

“I know,” Damian cuts in. “It isn’t about loving us differently.” He says it very matter of factly. “I have the ability to carry on your bloodline, whereas they do not.”

“That ability isn’t an obligation,” Bruce says, wondering why his kids never seem to be able to just worry about normal things. “And it’s certainly not something that you need to be thinking about at thirteen years old.”

Damian nods slowly, staring down at the desk with a look of intense concentration, before slowly raising his gaze to Bruce.

“Mother and Grandfather said that you wouldn’t like it, if I wasn’t interested in girls,” he says quietly.

Bruce sighs. of-fucking-course they did. He gets up from his chair, and moves around the desk to kneel in front of Damian.

“Well they’re wrong,” he says simply. “And they had no right to lead you to believe that it would make any difference to me. Just like I don’t love your siblings any less, my love for you is no more conditional. Understand?”

It takes a moment, but Damian nods.

“All right. In which case, I suppose... I’m gay.”

“And I’m proud of you,” Bruce says, before pulling his son into a hug.

Bruce

Bruce looks at his assembled family, and begins to feel a strange sense of trepidation tickling at the edge of his consciousness.

They’re all here. Trying to get the whole family together all at once is like pulling teeth. But he told them it was important, and they all came. There have been plenty of points over the course of the years when that wouldn’t have happened. And even though they’ve all been pretty settled with each other for a while now, he never wants to take for granted having his whole family together- not that he thinks the part of him that only seems to settle when he has all of his children within arm’s reach would let him.

The comfort of having them all be together is overwhelming, but the trepidation is still there, just like it probably always will be any time he manages to round up the courage for anything resembling feelings talk.

They’re all in one of the living rooms, sprawled in a comfortable half circle across various couches and chairs.

“There’s something I wanted to tell you all,” Bruce starts to say.

“Are you dying?” Stephanie asks casually.

Beside her, Cass freezes, looking horrified.

“I’m not dying,” Bruce says quickly.

At the same time Steph rubs a hand up and down Cass’s arm and assures her she was kidding.

“Not like he’d tell us if he was,” Dick says.

He knows it’s meant to be a joke, just like Stephanie’s question had been, but it still sends a chill through him. Mostly because he can’t say for sure that Dick is totally wrong; it’s the kind of thing he easily could have kept to himself. But then he sees the uncertain frown that Damian is giving him, and Cass’s wide, anxious eyes, and decides that he has to be wrong.

“I’m not dying,” he repeats, reaching out for Tim who’s sitting closest to him, and who’s been staring very intently at the floor since the topic came up.

Tim leans into the touch without shifting his position.

“And I would tell you,” he adds seriously, feeling absolutely wracked with guilt over the fact that up until this moment he doesn’t know if he would’ve been able to claim that with any certainty.

“I swear, if there’s anything wrong with me, all of you will know as soon as possible.” By the time it comes out of his mouth, he knows he means it with total certainty.

“I think we’re all pretty tuned into the fact that there’s something wrong with you,” Jason offers, and the tension in the room breaks.

Bruce smiles despite himself. That was agonizing. Compared to that getting on with the conversation he’d previously been so apprehensive to have will be a relief.

“What did you want to tell us?” Duke asks.

“It can be… difficult for me to articulate what it means to me whenever one of you trusts me enough to share something about yourself. I thought that I owed it to all of you to return the favor, and share a… recent discovery of mine.” He stumbles through it as awkwardly as he’d expected to.

“This is weird,” Stephanie stage whispers.

“I’m bisexual,” Bruce admits.

“Bruce!” Dick says excitedly.

“Unacceptable,” Jason cuts in. “We already have enough of that nonsense in this house!”

Tim kicks him in the side.

“Well, seeing as it’s an option, I for one prefer the idea of you pursuing romantic entanglements that bear no risk of resulting in pregnancy.”

“Noted, Damian.”

“I’m happy for you, B,” Tim says. “It can be hard figuring yourself out.”

“Thank you, Tim.”

“Is that it?” Duke asks. “I mean, not that it’s not a big deal- and I’m happy for you too by the way- it’s just that most of our family meetings involve addressing some kind of crisis.”

“That’s it,” Bruce admits.

“Perhaps- seeing as we’re all here anyways- we could take this opportunity to have dinner together as a family for once,” Alfred offers.

[cuddlesslut]

Memories

Part three to Home

Suna x fem reader

Atsumu x fem reader

Tags: still angst, light fluff, just a lot of Suna simping.

AN// let me know if you want me to continue the story.

Part Two: Silence

Part Four: Chance Encounters

You were the most beautiful girl Suna had ever seen. When he saw you that first day of school it was like the clouds in his normally dreary day parted and he could feel the sun. You weren’t in the same class much to his dismay. That didn’t stop the middle blocker from searching for your face in the crowds of the halls or the cafeteria. Though it was rare he stilled catch some glimpses. In those moments a war waged in his mind part of him wanted to go introduce himself, he wanted to know your name. To just be around you. But another side of his brain forbid that. Stating that he was fine were he was he would just interrupt your day. What would he even say to you. Hi I’m Suna I’ve been watching you since the first and even though I know next to nothing about you I can’t get you out of my head..... yeah no. He’d just sit back and wait for opportunity to knock. Suna curses himself for his laziness. He can’t describe how his heart stop the day his friend brought you to practice and introduce you as his girlfriend.

Though he kept his composure he felt as though the air was stolen from his lungs. This is the closesest he had ever to been to you and it was overwhelming to say the least. You stood there at Atsumu’s side smiling and greeting the team memebers and when your attention drew to Suna he realized his favorite thing about you was your eyes. You beautiful (e/c) eyes shown with so much light and happiness. When you smiled you smiled with your eyes, always getting this cute little crinkle. He shook his head at these feelings. You were taken and by one of his friends no less.

From that moment on you presence was always close by joining the boys for lunch or stopping by practice with little snacks you had made the team. Suna almost resents how easy he gets along with you. How simple it is to fall into a banter with you. He hates how calming it is when you’d sit next to him and laugh as you showed him some meme. He wanted to be annoyed with you ever time you’d put your foot down and insist he let you wrap his finger after a bad block. But he couldn’t you were just such a caring person. He’d try and give you some petty insults, maybe if he caused a rift between the two of you he’d feel better, maybe then if there was more space between you he’d feel less guilty for always being enraptured by you. But you’d always snap back with something just as clever or petty. You could go toe to toe in trading insults but both of you knew neither of you meant it. You’d always break out into that breathtaking smile after a few rounds of back and forth. He realized soon that he’d much rather keep you in his life as a friend even if he could never have you because at least he’d still see that smile. At least as your best friend he’d still see your eyes shine bright and he could take a small pleasure in knowing he brought some of that happiness.

“You need to calm down,” Suna turned to see Osamu taking the seat on the bench next to him.

Suna's hands run through his hair gripping the roots in frustration as he let out a yell.

“How the fuck am I supposed to be calm, she could be hurt or missing, and that ass is just sitting there! Two weeks! Lord knows what could have happened by now.” Hes shaking part of him wants to go back up and give Atsumu a few more licks but he knows no good will come from it.

“YN is a grown woman and she’s smart and strong and you know damn well she’d bitch you out right now for thinking she couldn’t handle herself,” the former ace chuckled.

“I’d much rather her here bitching cause at least then she’d be here,” he groaned rubbing his hand down his legs trying to let out some of his nerves. “Did you know?” He asked the grey haired twin.

Samu gave his quick glare of offense. “Absolutely not believe me if I’d known I would have been the one to deck him , you just beat me to it.”

“The last i heard from her was her birthday, maybe if I’d had stopped by and brought the Onigiri myself I could have been there for her,” he sighs.

“We’ll find her don’t worry,” his friend pats his back, “and then you can finally confess,”he smiles.

“I’m that obvious huh,” he sighed.

Samu let a loud laugh “ OH PLEASE we all knew, well maybe not YN she can be kinda blind ya’know,”

Suna shook his head laughing. He has to see you.

They returned home today from nationals. The loss to Karasuno was really starting to sink in now that was Suna was home sitting in his room alone the house quiet. He laid there berating himself for balls he failed to block. If I had just done better maybe my team would still be playing. Maybe - he was disrupted from his thoughts by the chime of the door bell. His parents were out of town this weekend. They had assumed like many Inarizaki would still be out in Tokyo fighting for first place. It was fine though Suna was used to being alone. But that just confused him more as he made his way to the door. Who could possibly be here. All he can say is he’d never except to open the door and see you standing there. Like always you stole his breath away.

“What yer not gunna let me in,” you teased “and to think I brought you snacks!” He just realized now she was carrying a grocery bag that looked pretty heavy.

“Give me that ya Dummy,” he said taking away the snacks, he stepped to the side allowing her entry.

“I figured you were hungry, but try to save me some,” she giggled. Suna just rolled his eyes as she took a seat on his couch.

“What are you doing here?” He questioned taking his seat beside her making sure to leave a respectable distance. Though he wants nothing more than to hold you close. He dismisses the thought as he rummages threw the goodies waiting for your response. He smiles seeing the package of milk bread you bought. He took it out and tossed it to you knowing it was your favorite. You smile and give a slight nod as a thank you.

“I figured you wouldn’t want to be alone after the game, I know your probably thinking a whole bunch of nonsense right now aren’t ya?” She looked at him with a solem but knowing look. He cursed how well you knew him. Seeing as he had been doing just that before your arrival. His heart squeezed at the thought of you wanting to comfort him. It almost gives him a slight hope. What about Atsumu, he lost that game too.

“Why aren’t you with you boyfriend, he’s probably taking it harder than me,” he asks knowing he might ruin this little fantasy he has here with you. He sees a sad look cross your face at the mention of the setter. It’s not a look Suna wants to keep seeing.

“You’re right about that, Tsmu’s having a tough go of it,” she gave a soft smile. “But he said he didn’t want my pity and asked I leave,” Suna could see your eyes get a little glassy thinking back to the conversation.

“He’s an Ass.” The middle blocker states plainly.

“He’s just got a lot of emotions right now and wants his space, it’s okay.” But Suna can see your hurt. He knows it wont do any good to keep talking about it.

“His loss, now I get all of the snacks,” pulling out a bag of chips. “Want to watch a movie?”

That’s how the evening went the both of you curled up on the couch Suna had brought down some pillows and blankets and he wouldn’t lie he loved seeing you wrapped in his comforter. You went on and on about this anime you started and you nearly died when he agreed to let you show it to him, pumping your fist in the air going off about your favorite character and how he’s totally going to love him. Suna looks over at you and your wearing the biggest smile eyes wide with joy. This is will always be his favorite moment he thinks.

He’s right that moment still sticks out in his mind. He has plenty of great memories but that one right there is his favorite. He’s been thinking back on a lot of his memories of you lately.

It’s been seven months since your birthday and no one in your former circle new anything about where you were. You hadn’t talked to anyone. Your number was no longer in service and all of you socials have gone silent.

After a couple of days of looking for you Suna was ready to go to the Police and report you missing, ready to call every hospital and pray you are safe. At this point that’s all that matters to him. He can’t bare to think about anything bad happening to you but it’s hard to keep his mind out of the dark place. Osamu was the one to stop him. Luckily they had gotten in touch with their former captain and while Kita was sorry to hear about the situation and very disappointed in his junior for his actions. Every one was upset with Atsumu for his actions. Kita was gladly willing to help in the search. Still being in their home town he was able to pay your parents a quick visit. And while he was happy he could inform them both that your parents had heard from you the other day so your fine. That was all your parents could tell him, stating that you had requested to keep your privacy not wanting to talk to anyone. So while they knew the biggest detail they still knew nothing.

It hurt Suna the most. How could you just cut him off like that. You were the most important person to him how could you not know that. He fretted. He knows your hurting but why did you have to cut all of them off most importantly him. Part of him was so incredibly angry how could you not even say goodbye to him. Did his friendship really mean that little to you. But another part of him understood that he couldn’t possibly know what you are going through. All he knew is how much he missed your smiling eyes. He would give everything to see you again.

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[lxngbottom]

More mute fic pls omg

Mute | N.L (Part 2)

in which the reader doesn’t talk, and neville is still trying to change that.

warnings: some angst, bullying, swearing (let me know if there are more!)

word count: 2,877

i wasn’t planning on making a part 2 to this but you ask i deliver!! but, maybe a part 3 as well if i feel like the story isn’t finished!

PART 1 HERE!

—

since that day in the library, neville longbottom could not seem to get y/n off of his mind. she ran through it like a marathon, but neville enjoyed every second of it. he couldn’t seem to forget the little giggle that left your lips on that day, or the way you uttered that “goodnight” to him.

he came to visit her quite a few times in the library after that. he wouldn’t go everyday unlike her, due to the fact he didn’t want to make her uncomfortable. he liked spending time with you, even if the conversations were one sided. but, he couldn’t ignore the elephant in the room...

she still had yet to say anything else.

so when today came, he was prepared to get some progress. he felt some sort of guilt due to the fact he would never want to make her feel like you were some sort of experiment to him, or to anyone else. he just hated seeing her so lonely.

the great hall rung out with the sound of chattering and gossip as breakfast continued. neville found himself searching for y/n, as she hadn’t shown up yet. but, when she finally walked in with two books grasped into her hand, a bright smile formed onto the boy’s face.

“what are you so cheery about, longbottom?” seamus asked with a raised eyebrow. but it didn’t take him long to realize what his herbology loving friend was so happy about. because he looked over at where neville was staring, and he connected the dots. “merlin’s beard... you fancy mute!”

dean and him chuckled at the thought,

“what?! no i don’t! and... don’t call her that.” neville clapped back, finally ripping his eyes away from y/n.

“oh, it’s alright, longbottom. we’re just messing with you. but seriously, if you fancy her, why don’t you ask her out?” dean asked, hitting seamus on the shoulder.

neville shrugged, “she won’t talk.”

seamus rolled his eyes, “well, no shit.”

the three boys looked over at her, and her nose was dug into the same herbology book she had checked out a week ago. the look on her face would confirm that she seemed content with how the day was going so far.

but, of course, the slytherins had to change that.

as y/n was reading up on the finer details of a water plant, she felt something hit the back of her head. neville quickly looked over, and saw malfoy and his goons laughing like a pack of wild dogs. he looked over to y/n once more, and saw her staring at the piece of toast that had settled on landing on the floor.

she sighed, but decided to ignore it.

“hey, mute!” malfoy called out for her, another piece of toast in hand. y/n looked behind her, locking eyes with the white haired boy. “think fast!”

he threw another piece, this time right on her face. and sure enough, it was covered in butter and jam. it hit right on her cheek, and it stuck for a moment before sliding off onto her jumper.

for once, the expression on her face leaked pure anger. she whipped her head around once more, and her mouth fell open for one single moment to speak. it seemed as if the whole slytherin table went quiet for a moment, just waiting for her to say something. anything.

neville as well sat, staring intently at her. he just wanted to her stand up for herself, at least once.

but, as the words attempted to crawl their way out of her, they went right back down. she couldn’t muster up the strength to say anything,

“got something to say, mute?” draco teased, flashing a grin at her, “oh, wait. i forgot. you can’t talk!”

his friends all chuckled at malfoy’s stupid joke, and y/n simply collected her things, and dashed out of the great hall.

neville sighed, his fist clenched from aggravation.

“maybe... some speech therapy would work?” dean suggested suddenly, and neville shook his head.

—

care for magical creatures was never something that neville found interesting, but he enjoyed walking out into nature with his friends, hearing hagrid ramble on about dragons and how there living environments are.

“this ere’ creature is a classic, but an ol’ favorite of mine. i’m sure yer’ all familiar with it,” hagrid spoke excitedly, walking over to a random tree bush.

all of the students watched intently as he bent down, and grabbed the unknown creature from the bush. y/n seemed just as intrigued as anyone else did. and neville couldn’t help but smile at the way you got on your tippy toes to see what creature hagrid had in store for everyone today.

“he’s er’ a bit hungry today. but, that’s why you all are ere’ i pose’,” hagrid explained, and finally, he pulled out the mystery creature hiding behind the bush. the students let out a mantra of “awww’s” as hagrid carried a niffler in his hand. he walked up closer to everyone, showing the creature off a little.

“nifflers don’t really ever bite. unless, of course’, you makin’ him angry!”

y/n stared at the creature intently, and focused on writing down the physical details. what color it was, what shape it was. she would never admit it, but she absolutely loved care for magical creatures. it was one of her favorite classes, as she loved learning about the cutest creatures and how they lived their lives.

“he’s cute, isn’t he?” y/n heard from right beside her. she looked over and saw neville longbottom, smiling lightly at her. “were we supposed to take notes? oh dear...”

y/n quickly shook her head at his worry, and closed her notebook. she could do research on nifflers at some other time.

neville and y/n stood beside each other, listening to hagrid’s lesson. neville would glance over at her, just to remind himself of how she looked. her face was morphed into a focused one, and she bit the inside of her lip. he couldn’t help to notice her side profile, and how perfectly constructed the girl seemed to be.

“right’, who wants to feed him?” hagrid asked the large group of students, and all of them automatically shot their hands up in the air, wanting nothing more to pet the niffler.

y/n wanted to, she wanted to do bad, but, she couldn’t raise her hand. she didn’t have the courage to. neville noticed that it was killing her to not be one of the kids to raise their hand, and he could tell that she genuinely wanted to feed the niffler.

hagrid skimmed through the students, pondering on who he should pick. but out of all of the students, he noticed one who didn’t in fact have her hand raised. but, looked quite interested.

“miss y/l/n, is it? come on ver’ ere’!”

y/n’s eyes widened, and everyone looked at her. they all huffed and rolled their eyes as she slowly approached hagrid. neville of course, had the goofiest smile laid upon his round face. he was happy that she got picked, even if she didn’t raise her hand for it.

“ere’, hold him for just one moment,” hagrid requested, passing the niffler over to y/n. when she obtained it, she smiled softly.

the niffler seemed to take notice to the girl’s feature, and he nibbled at the ends of her hair as hagrid grabbed the food. “aye! what i’d tell ye’ about nibblin’ on young ladies hair?! it’s not nice!”

y/n giggled at hagrid’s “parenting”, and pet the niffler on the top of the head. some students seemed to be shocked that she let out a small laugh such as that one, but neville was in bliss.

“right’, jus’ take a piece...” hagird began, reaching into the bag of food, “and just put it by its beak!”

hagrid did so, and the niffler almost chomped on his fingers from how hungry he was. hagrid let out a chuckle, as well as y/n as the hungry niffler chewed on its food. “yer’ turn, miss?”

and y/n repeated the same thing. she smiled as the niffler made small noises, and reached for more food. “one more!” hagrid barked, and popped the piece of food right into it’s mouth.

hagrid began to explain the finer details of nifflers, and what they really were. y/n held the niffler patiently, playing with it a little as hagrid kept on with today’s lesson.

“see, somethin’ else they love is for a wizard er’ witch to speak to em’. they can be quite the talkative creature,”

y/n’s eyes went wide from the giant’s statement, and she started to hope & pray that hagrid’s next choice of words weren’t going to be what she thought they might be.

but, her hopes were faltered;

“go on! tell em’ yer’ name!”

neville stared, knowing what was probably coming next. he could tell from the drop in her face that she was anxious,

“don’t be scared, now! go on!”

y/n looked the niffler in the eyes, and it looked like it was waiting, just like everyone else was. she needed to say something, just anything.

“um...” she muttered, and some of the student’s jaws dropped from just hearing that.

“she can’t talk!” a voice rung out through the trees, and y/n looked over to see pansy parkinson smirking with malfoy. “yeah, she doesn’t know how to speak!” draco added, him and his friends giggling.

other students began to join in on laughing, and yelling about how quiet she was, even some calling her by her infamous nickname... mute.

y/n looked away, and quickly put the niffler back into hagrid’s arms. she stormed over to her things, and collected them quickly.

“where are you going?” neville whispered over to her, trying his best to make her stay. “these people don’t matter, y/n. just stay.”

she looked up at him, and his heart shattered from what he saw. tears filled her eyes, and her lip quivered. she threw her bag over her shoulder, grabbed her textbook, and ran away from the large group of students.

the students laughed at her as she did so, and more vile things about her left the mouths of draco and his friends.

“aye!” hagrid yelled, and the students fell silent. “ten house points takin away from all of ya’s’! we never treat our fellow students like that!”

the students groaned and attempted to protest, but hagrid simply wasn’t having any of it.

“class dismissed! and i’ll be sure’ to let all ye’s heads know bout’ the way yer’ all acted today!”

as students collected their things and left in small groups, chatter of y/n escaped their lips, and not in a very kind way, either.

“ten house points from all of us?! this has got to be some kind of sick joke!” seamus complained, “we didn’t even say anything about the girl!”

neville scoffed and rolled his eyes, “but, you laughed. that’s the issue.”

seamus furrowed his eyebrows, “don’t tell me you’re angry at me because i laughed? if something is funny, i laugh! i’m allowed to laugh, longbottom!”

neville didn’t have time to argue with seamus, he needed to go and find y/n. just to make sure she was alright.

—

tears fell quickly from her face, hitting the book pages as she tried to read. she sniffled, trying to get them to go away.

after her embarrassment, y/n had escaped to the library. where she was sure she would be safe, but was proven wrong when students from that same class found her, and began to harass her, and threaten her due to the fact everyone had lost points for their house.

y/n sat alone, like always. crying to herself, wondering what was wrong with her. why couldn’t she just speak? why couldn’t she be like everyone else and have a normal conversation with others? what was she so weird?

as her thoughts took over her, she didn’t notice neville longbottom approaching the same table they both shared. he frowned when he heard the small cries leave her lips,

“y/n?”

the soft voice made y/n look up, and she quickly wiped her tears away. he pulled out the same chair he had been sitting in for the past two weeks, and sat down slowly.

“are you alright? i’ve been looking for you for the past hour,” he stated, a flash of worry showing in his eyes. “i should’ve known that you’d be here. but, you know me... i forget almost everything.”

as neville made his way to the library, he thought about every way possible to get y/n to speak. and the constant rambling and questions obviously weren’t working, so maybe, instead of forcing to her to speak, maybe he could try to relate to her. make her feel comfortable and safe enough to talk around him.

“you know... malfoy has always given me a hard time, too. him and all of his friends. they’re really mean.” he informed her, still looking into her eyes. “but, one day, i finally stood up for myself. and, they haven’t necessarily... left me alone or anything, but they’re a bit less cruel, you know?”

y/n simply just stared at him blankly, having only a small hint at what he was talking about. “he used to throw toast at me during breakfast. it was immature, but... it still hurt me feelings.”

y/n didn’t know that malfoy treated her the same way he had always treated neville. she felt bad for him, as she knew exactly how it felt to be a victim of malfoy’s torture.

“but, when i stood up to him... merlin, i’ll never forget it. i felt like i could... spit fire or something! it was honestly one of the greatest feelings that i’ve ever had! i felt unstoppable!”

neville was waving his hands, going on this small tangent about when he stood up to malfoy. y/n admired his courage, and the way he talked to excitedly about it.

“all i’m saying is... is that maybe, one day, you should stick up for yourself. i would do it for you... but i don’t think that it would make it any better for you or for me. so... just maybe—“

he was cut off by how quickly she was shaking her head,

“you don’t have to do it today, or tomorrow, or even next week! just, at some point, you know? i promise you’ll feel better if you do it!”

but, she shook her head once more. neville sighed, already feeling defeated.

there was a few moments of silence before neville spoke up once more:

“why don’t you speak, y/n?”

y/n frowned, the question that she hated the most being asked.

“doesn’t anyone ever ask you why? or, you know... try to get to know you at least?”

she shook her head sadly, and her eyes wandered back onto the page of her book,

“well... i really like hanging out with you. and, i want to know all of your interests and stuff. you seem really cool, and... i want to get to know you better.”

y/n thought for a moment, her instincts taking over her. normally when someone said things like this, she would rush out of the room, not even giving them a chance to say further more. but, neville was different. he didn’t seem to have any bad intentions, he just seemed... intrigued.

“why?”

neville thought for a moment that his ears were deceiving him, but when he looked over at y/n once more, he figured out that she was waiting for a response.

it took him a moment to collect his thoughts before he answered, “uh, well... i know how it feels to be the quiet kid. and, most of the time... i’m alone. i just don’t like seeing—others alone, i suppose. it hurts me.”

y/n looked up at him, “but... you have friends.”

neville felt giddy on the inside. finally, he had got her to say more that one single word. even though it wasn’t under the best circumstances, neville was proud of her.

“well, yeah. but... they have friends as well. and, we don’t really share the same interests. in fact, my friends laugh when i talk about herbology. they’re great and all, but... i don’t know. i just wish i had someone to talk to about things like that.”

there was a few more beats of silence, and neville really hoped that he hadn’t said something that made her shut down again.

“um...” she started, “i—i like herbology.”

the small sadness that had taken over neville instantly faded, and he smiled at the girl’s words.

“really?”

she smiled at him, her problems seemingly leaving her body. she nodded her head, “and... care for magical creatures.”

neville could practically feel his heart about to burst from his chest.

“that’s... nice. i’ve never been much into it, but, i would love to know more about it.”

to everyone else in hogwarts, y/n was known as mute. she never spoke, and when she did, it was only a single word. but neville, he saw so much more than that. he saw a girl with a great personality, a beautiful mind.

and, he couldn’t wait to get to know her.

[forthekags]

Kageyama Being Oblivious to Other People’s Relationships

I have this huge feeling that Kageyama does not keep up with other people's lives. Like if they're not in his immediate circle, he won't even. So this is my take on him finding out about Bokuaka through Y/N.

Also Time Skip Spoilers!!

Ever since Kageyama joined the Shweiden Adlers, your shared apartment has been annoyingly quiet without him to bother. It wasn't something that was freaking you out, you were happy that he's upping his career. You remain his number one fan.

That doesn't mean you don't get lonely every now and then while he's off at practice.

So naturally, you try to bother some of your old high school friends. But they were put living their own successful lives too! Bokuto with his own team, Kuroo with some smarty stuff, and Kenma becoming a streamer and businessman. Until finally! Akaashi agrees to go out for lunch.

Keiji looked better with age. Hell, he looked happier. At lunch, you both found out that you were in the same boat: busy volleyball boyfriends and lonely feelings. You felt some relief knowing that someone else had those same feelings. The slight guilt of feeling lonely and the slight frustration of not having the person you love there, but also that pride of knowing they're out doing something they love.

Then you had to ask who asked who out first.

Akaashi blushed at the question and was shy at first, but the more he got into the story- the memory- you could see how happy and in love he was with a knucklehead like Bokuto. They had remained close friends after Bo left for college, and Akaashi would go to his games every now and then. He confessed that he started having feelings for Bokuto during this time, but didn't act on it in fear of losing him. But Bo blurted it out after he made Akaashi laugh while they ate at a restaurant after one of his games.

You fell in love with their love. You always knew Bokuto had a soft spot for Akaashi, even in high school. But you never thought he'd be the first one to admit to his feelings. Though it makes sense that he blurted it out. A simpleton really, if he feels it then he says it.

As the days went by, you would get a bit more excited when it neared to your schedule lunch date with Akaashi. It was nice to talk about other stuff other than volleyball. You loved the sport of course, but your life wasn’t centered around it like Kageyama had. And Akaashi understood that and had stories that didn’t involve the sport. It was a breath of fresh air.

When you heard that they’d be joining the Japanese Olympic team, you couldn’t help but feel even more excited. This would mean you get to spend more time with Akaashi and even bother Kuroo, who was the promoter, at the same time. It’d be a reunion! 

During their practice, you’d go with Tobio and then dismiss yourself in rush to catch up with Akaashi as he wished Bo good luck. You were smiling more and thinking less of how lonely you felt because you had best of both worlds. 

After coming home from practice, Kageyama took a quick shower while you settled by the window to read a book. When he walked out of the restroom, he stared at you. 

Kageyama noticed your shift. As much as he loved seeing your smile, something bothered him. You no longer sent messages throughout the day as he practiced, usually you send funny videos so he can watch during one of his breaks. You no longer tackled him in a hug whenever he came home, even if he was all sweaty. 

He felt guilty loving those habits, he knew you only did that because you missed him. He hated leaving you alone when practice started to get more serious. You always had a sad smile when he would wave goodbye. But now- 

He remembered Akaashi instantly when you brought him up. He used to look up to him as a setter in high school. He was friends with you way before you took an interest in Kageyama. But... was it possible that you had a crush on him? Did meeting up with him again spark up some old feelings?

Were you finally slipping through his fingers? Was he losing you because of his obsession with volleyball? You reassure him every now and then that it’s not something you’re scared of. You’d kiss him and explain how you understand that volleyball is untouchable and how loving you has nothing to do with it. 

He can’t let you slip... it’ll hurt. More than any physical injury. He wanted you to know that you’re untouchable too, that he can’t live with just having volleyball. He needed you too. But... if you wanted to leave... to be with someone who is always there... 

“You’re sulking, Tobio.” You point out without looking up from your book. He stayed by the doorway and turned his face away. He had been staring at you for quite some time now, it was like he was trying to get your attention without asking for it. 

“I am not,” he huffed and pouted. 

“Sure you are,” you said eyeing him, “what’s wrong?” 

He stayed quiet for a bit with his arms crossed over his chest. You smiled softly at his bothered state. It wasn’t often that he acted this way, all grumpy and quiet, but when he does you cant help but love every second of it. You learned to give him some time to respond or to find the right words to say. And he was still just wearing a towel over his waist with slight water droplets sliding off-

“You’ve been spending a lot of time with Akaashi-kun.” Your eyes snapped back to the back of his head when he mumbled.

“Um, yeah I have...” you answered back a bit confused. You didn’t want to assume the direction of this conversation.

“It wasn’t a question,” he grumbled again. You lowered your book and gave him your full attention. 

“Well, it’s easy now-” he scoffed but you continued, “-with Bo being here and all.”

“Koutarou still talks to him?” 

You walked up to him and looked for any sign of ingenuity but found none. “Tobio, they live together.” 

“They’re roommates?” He asked even more confused and bothered. Why were you talking about their living arrangements?

“They live together just like how we live together, Tobio.” You said it with caution and softness but you had a smile that wanted to release your laughter. That’ll just anger him and distract him from the slow connection he’s making.

You instantly saw it in his eyes when he made that last connection, “Oh...” You kissed his slightly open lips to tease him and walked away. 

“Tobio, you play with Bokuto!” you call out.

“I don’t listen to their yapping!” You suddenly remember something from last week.

“We’re invited to their wedding!”

“What!” he exclaimed, “since when!?”

“Last week, Bo gave us their date and to look out for an invitation through the mail!”

He was more focused on how you were distancing yourself. He was focused on you, not his teammate’s rambling. 

“I didn’t know it was Akaashi he was marrying!” You laughed at his outbursts even more as he looked guilty. You didn’t want to bring up how he thought you were having an affair so maybe walking into the kitchen was your best chance. How could he be so oblivious and yet so observant over your slight change?

“Tobio,” you called out softly. He was sulking again but looked up at the command of your voice. He followed you and towered you as he looked down. He was beautiful. It warmed your heart. You touched his cheek and he rested right into your hand. 

Before you could make a comment he spoke quietly, “I’m not losing you, am I?” On instinct, your arms snaked around his neck pulling him down to hug you. You were never one to need reassurance, at least that’s what you liked to think. 

“I am yours, Tobio.” You answered, “I’ll always be yours.” 

“And I’m yours.” He hugged you back and lifted you up a bit trying to get closer as if it was possible. You were here and he was here... And Bokuto was marrying Akaashi. “Should I text Bokuto congratulations?”

[dana-chan-the-control-brain]

Hey, did you saw the film theory on Invader Zim on Membrane that Low-key makes sense

NO. IT. DOESN’T!

Okay, maybe this is my personal bias shining through, because I really don’t like Mattpatt sometimes... No. Okay, I have nothing against the guy personally. More frankly, I don’t like his fanbase or the way he structures his videos.

The way Mattpatt words and structures his videos acts like he’s the first person who thought of this idea, it’s the main contributor to why I stopped watching his videos a long time ago.

He speaks in a lot of rhetorics and strawman arguments rather than just saying what he wants to say. Like “If you don’t believe me... look no further then...” and that’s the one thing I ABSOLUTELY HATE on theory videos.

And some of Mattpatts own theories he doesn’t take seriously, but this is what you get when you base your INCOME off of youtube ad revenue and browse the reddit forums for new ideas. A completely monopolized way of theorizing. (and this is why there are several paragraphs in my current chapter of Tech Support of Zim’s Computer complaining about the concept of youtube entertainment in general.)

Sure, I don’t think Mattpatt will run out of theories... but I really hate the structure of his videos follows along strawman arguments, acting like he’s always arguing with an imaginary audience for entertainment value rather than just say what he wants to say.

That, and people will often cling to theories of someone with good editing software and a youtube channel then Their own opinions.

Something that I learned was incredibly dangerous to do. I learned my lesson with “That Guy with the Glasses dot com” and I don’t plan to act like I know something or am better than someone else cause I agree with someone who said something on youtube once.

I do watch Internet reviews and theory videos for entertainment, but that’s all they are to me. I don’t like to watch youtube videos to give me opinions on how I feel about things. And I seriously think a wide margin of his subscribers lack critical thinking skills at times, as well as a majority of the youtube audience, or from what I’ve seen in the comment section.

However, remember... These are just my thoughts on the matter... My thoughts are not law and I never claim them to be.

Like when I first joined the fandom and posed my GIR analysis questions... I even said:

“I don’t know if the fandom has talked about this in depth or not... I just got here... or if someone put it into this many words before but...”  

Also... the thing that bothers me about his Invader Zim theory...

A lot of Mattpatt’s sources are just..... Wrong...

(for the next few minutes I will be talking about this video, feel free to watch or don’t)

Okay.. “Membrane is an Irken” this has been a popular fan theory since before I even entered the fandom and there are old fics about this. I have read Irken Membrane stories before.

It’s not personally my cup of tea, but it’s fun to think about.

But the straws Mattpatt grasps in his video.... Really upset me because there is some thought to the theory back in the day.. ... Like back in 2002??? but like.... NOW?!

Okay, I’ll pick apart this a little... bit by bit...

He says that Membrane takes a hard stance against anything paranormal.

Kinda... but no.. Membrane never outright denies the existence of aliens. (except in ETF... which he mainly says out of frustration...) This is what Membrane says about “there are no aliens” in the show:

Membrane just says that there are no “intelligent” aliens...None that are able to travel the massive distance to Earth, anyways... If aliens existed at all, (like the cryptoids Dib talks of) they would have traveled the distance to the planet and communicated with them by now.

However, this is a nitpick of a minor issue. One that a majority of the fandom tends to overlook when viewing Professor Membrane and Dib’s relationship in general. 

And I do find it weird that he used this for evidence when he cut out the most important snippet from the full lecture he gives Dib here.... JUST to support his claim... as if he’s intentionally leaving that part out.... hmmmm

However, I can let this slide, because it’s a nitpick and really doesn’t change anything that Membrane is very dissuasive of Dib’s alien-hunting hobbies. (I have a theory as to why and I explain it here in my own way)

The point is, Membrane is dismissive of anything alien... maybe because he’s an Irken...okay, good, yes. fair. 

A lot of Mattpatts claims from then on are pretty solid, and I won’t bunk them with “But in my headcanon/Fanfic verse...”  Because what he is saying is all true.

Membrane denying the existence of aliens even after being taken to space jail doesn’t have much of an explanation and is played for comedy and there are many ways you can go with this, and I am not going to bring up my fanfics or my own headcanons to argue with him here.

Because there is no explanation, and he is going with the “Membrane is Irken” theory... So that’s very solid when he’s talking about Membrane denying the Hallucinations. 

Mattpatt claimed that Membrane wore his face covering at all times and had been dressed this way since he was a child.

I will not deny this. This is true.

However, isn’t bringing up Membrane’s childhood kinda put a hole in your own argument?

MEMBRANE WAS A CHILD.

He had been shown to have childhood memories in the comics and the show.

Irkens don’t really have a “Childhood” per say, at least not in the way that humans do. They are a smeet, then elite, then Invader..

If he’s claiming that Membrane came to earth as an Irken SMEET....How, why, and when? 

That kinda raises more questions than it answers.... What are you proving by bringing up Membrane’s baby pictures on Earth exactly? It kind of works against your own argument? 

Saying that they’re Irken because they all have the same hair.... that’s just stupid... and he’s citing the Invader Zim wiki on this .... oh boy.

Yeah, Like before I watched the show I thought Dib and Disguised Zim were the same character or brothers...

But I don’t think character design here is a solid enough reason in this case... At least not when it comes to the hairstyles... That’s a stretch.

“Hmmm Membrane’s hair forms an M shape... What could the M stand for? Mirken?! SUSPICIOUS!” (this is just a joke)

Also... the lack of ears thing... He did say it would be hard for Membrane to hear if his headpiece was covering his ears, but not necessarily... The entire thing is a headset and he is the man of science, he can really do whatever the fuck he wants cause Science is like magic in a show like this. So if Membrane wears a headset that doesn’t obstruct his hearing at all, I can buy it... Also.. it’s equally possible his ears got blown off in a chem lab accident or he’s legally deaf and that headset acts as a hearing aide and HELPS him hear... 

Actually, I always noticed how in Membrane’s original design from the show, the headset looked a lot like a hearing aid. Specifically one with a head clip, It’s one of the things I first noticed about his design in the show.

And it’s just something I always assumed because he’s a scientist who deals with explosions in his face on a daily basis... (in fact he experiences one in episode 2B) So on first viewing, I thought that his headset served as a hearing aid as well as prescription glasses and a communication device. 

I’m just throwing out possibilities because the “lack of ears” is also kinda a stretch.

Mattpatt complaining about “lack of nose” however... Okay, yeah I’ll give him that one. It’s a character design choice that is a little odd for Professor Membrane, but it does fit with the Irken theory, since a majority of human characters, in fact, all have noses. So, Yes the “lack of nose” does fit more into the Irken theory. 

However.... Florpus anime Membrane DOES have a nose...

Meant to be drawn in a more semi-realistic artsyle, you can clearly see the bridge of his nose here.

And he looks very similar to anime Dib... Sooooo... Shrug-city... 

It’s likely that Membrane not having a nose in the show is simply a stylistic choice than anything else. Basically, the bridge of the nose is there... we just don’t see it.

Especially since Nightmare Membrane has a nose as well..

Membrane is like Home Improvement’s Wilson. We will never see his face, and that’s part of the gag. The man probably sleeps in his labcoat honestly...

I also find the voice pattern thing a bit of a stretch. Membrane and Zim are just eccentric characters who yell to emote or emphasize a point or emote stronger. And Membrane’s inflections are never the same as Zim’s.

Remember, no other Irken TALKS like Zim. Professor Membrane doesn’t really go around screaming: “I AM PROFESSOR MEMBRANE” either..... 

If anything... it just kinda proves both characters have auditory processing issues or hearing problems more then anything.

And there is a lot of screaming on this show.... Screaming from Dib, screaming from Membrane, Screaming from GIR, screaming from Zim... Screaming is funny... and characters scream so much that the characters with their mouths wide open is somewhat a staple of the show.

This is more because of Johnen Vasquez’s voice direction...

Especially since no other Irken really talks like Zim..

Zim’s manor of Speach is strictly a Zim thing and not an Irken thing.

Professor Membrane’s manner of speech is simply a Membrane thing and not a human thing.

I will give Mattpatt that. That a lot of tech in the show looks similar to Membrane’s. I feel this is mostly a stylistic choice, but it really does fit in with the Irken theory. 

Like that Zim just so happens to use the same operating system as Dib is played off as a joke. But it does add some small credence to the theory here... I need to point out when he does get it right... some pats on the back.

These are very good points and does follow through with what he’s trying to prove by the end of the day.

(even if Membrane was lying about the destruction of all mankind with the beans thing, but that’s a minor nitpick here) 

But his entire paragraph comparing Membrane’s tech to Irken tech is a really good one. Props there.

This whole paragraph about there being only Tall or short irkens cause their society is height based and there are no “medium-sized” irkens....cause they were “dealt with”

Okay.

....

Sure Mattpatt. Let’s just entirely ignore the existence of the Frylord and this entire character even though you mentioned it in the synopsis at the start of your video... Showing that Taller irkens are in positions of power against the shorter, also... Zim is a tiny irken... there are many Irkens that stand taller then Zim.

Being tall in Irken society is a rarity, and Almighty Tallest Purple said that he and Red “became” the Tallest. How? We don’t know, but we do know at one point the current Tallest looked like this:

How do Irkens get that Tall? Body modifications? Maybe... it’s never explained, but considering the Frylord is super big and probably eats a lot of snacks might have something to do with it. We don’t know.

It’s safe to say that being Tall in their society is a rarity and Tallests are either born or made special from the cloning chamber from the get go.

Not to mention, Membrane is Taller than the current Tallest are already...

 and you said earlier in the video that Membrane would have gone to Earth as a child...

When he was no taller than a wrapped Christmas box of socks...

So why would Membrane take refuge on Earth at this point? Mattpatt says that Membrane was sent on a mission to Earth because the Tallest felt threatened by his rule...

BY MEMBRANE’S RULE?!?

HE’S THE SIZE OF A CHRISTMAS BOX OF SOCKS!

What do they have to be threatened by? 

Because... Mattpatt DID bring up Membrane as a child earlier in the video... meaning Membrane came to earth when he was about the same size as Zim.

SO THEY HAD NOTHING TO BE WORRIED ABOUT AND HAD NO EVIDENCE TO BELIEVE MEMBRANE WOULD GROW TO BE TALL ORE EVEN VIEW HIM AS A THREAT

You bunked your own argument. Congradulations.

Membrane conquered the world through his inventions. In a way, sure. Membrane Labs does own a lot of stuff. But he doesn’t own everything. A majority of the Corporations that keep the population stupid usually don’t have anything to do with Membrane Labs and aren’t affiliated at all. 

But this does fit into the “Membrane is an Irken” theory so I will give him that one.

However, Membrane being an evil corporate dictator is a hot take I never really appreciate at all and I can never get behind it.

It hits too close to home in the real world, and I always like to view Membrane as a self-made man and a World loving hippie at his core who just wants to make the world a better place, much like his son, but he actively does something about it. (which can also be why he encourages Dib with real science so much cause he knows Dib wants to save the Earth as much as he does)

Just calling Membrane a capitalist billionaire that doesn’t care about the little guy kinda seems disingenuous towards his character for me. 

Especially when Membrane in “Ten Minutes to Doom” created a machine (foodio) that completely end world hunger... which was in BETA in the unreleased episode...

 but by the time the movie rolls around... Foodio exists... past his BETA, meaning that he’s probably no expensive than a common household microwave and can materialize food from nothing:

Yeah. Membrane completely ended world hunger off-screen. thanks. (something no capitalist would ever do...)

Membrane also does appearances for charity (in the comics), and often takes funding for sponsorships when he is low on funds and he had to find a cure for pig mouth. 

Sure “Membrane conquered the world” fits the Irken theory...

But I never appreciate that take on his character and that is admittedly, very personal bais. 

I just wanted to say my peace a little bit here about how I 100% don’t vibe with the “Membrane capitalist/billionaire scum” especially since he ended world hunger...and invented a cure for the un-common cold.

Works for the theory, so good on Mattpatt for that one, but I personally don’t vibe with it.

Mattpatt compared Zim and Dib’s head shape as something to argue... Like because Dib has a similar head shape to Zim... that Dib has to be an alien... Okay... But If you look at the Invader Zim artbook (which I own)

The show has a very distinct look on how they draw characters’ heads. It’s a very distinct stylistic choice and there are pages upon pages in the artbook describing the style and how it looks in motion, and many revision notes to the Korean animators.

There are lots of pages on the artbook describing in detail the differences between the main characters’ heads, what to do, and what not to do.

It’s a difficult style to replicate, and Dib having a big head was mostly a joke from the showrunners to the showrunners, cause they kept drawing Dib’s head slightly bigger to make him look more appealing.

A majority of the audience doesn’t really notice because all the children in the show have big heads. All the kids are like 3-4 feet tall and have huge heads. 

Also... Dib’s head is far more rounder then Zim’s in the comics and the Movie... comparing their head shape as an arguing point, when Dib’s head shape changed midway season 1 when the designs got slightly more streamlined is just... bad form..

Dib and Zim’s heads never really look the same from the early episodes as they do later on.

Comparing this character design similarity just because of the artstyle is really stupid.

This is the most infuriating thing about the video... because Mattpatt disproves his own argument with his own footage not a few seconds earlier. 

He claims that Gaz sarcastically mentioning she has a squeedly spooch is a canon fact...... but ... hmm.. Mattpatt... can I rewind the footage of your video, please?

Where’s her squeedly spooch?

IS IT BEHIND HER CLEARLY HUMAN ORGANS?! I DON’T SEE IT?

And this isn’t just a stylistic choice... here’s a picture of another human’s organs for comparison.

Mattpatt literally disproved his own argument and ignored the fact that we saw an X-ray of Gaz’s organs in the very same episode...

Gaz doesn’t have a squeedly spooch and she literally was being sarcastic.

and the whole thing is disproved very easily.

Everything Mattpatt says in between those two points, about Dib being taken aboard an alien ship as a baby, and that there is no mother, and the Clone theory... That is all good stuff and this is what the theory video should have speculated and focused on, because there is some digging to be had here... I feel he focused a lot on the wrong points in his video...

And this is the most outrageous point he makes in his video. It’s the thing that pissed me off the most... and lead me to write this essay in the first place.

He claimed Eric Trueheart himself confirmed the clone theory and had story plans where Dib would discover his clone origins.

HE DID NOT!

IN FACT, Eric Trueheart himself published Volume One of the Invader Zim script book AND THIS IS WHAT HE SAID:

Eric neither confirmed nor denied the rumor.

But for Mattpatt to blatantly say that Eric said that Clone Dib was a planned thing by the screenwriters?!

He is BLATANTLY putting words into a Screenwriter’s mouth! Something that you should NEVER do.

Because it is 100% a lie.

He had no source for this claim. He probably just read the same rumor on the wiki and has no source.

This is the reason why I don’t trust videos like Mattpatt. The truth is often stretched for entertainment value, or information is just made up to prove “they were right” about whatever the topic of the day was. He doesn’t even bother to cite the source he got “Eric Trueheart’s word of mouth” from... because it was wrong.

Sorry if this whole thing is more hostile than it intended to be... But Mattpatt was looking at the ENTIRELY wrong evidence for this show....

Irken Membrane is a fun theory... but Mattpatt picked the entirely wrong topics and points of discussion, even to the point of hiding the truth and straight-up lying to his audience about his sources.

It’s kinda like saying “Birds eat ghost peppers because they’re part dragon and dragons can handle spicy food”

While, yeah, Birds are descended from dinos, it’s kinda missing the full story there and it’s not the reason why birds can eat spicy food.

Irken Membrane is a fun fan theory... do what you want with it. I am not here to dissuade Irken Membrane headcanons...

I’m just here to encourage critical thinking, and perhaps NOT put words into content creators' mouths when there is no credible source for it just because it benefits your argument.

[dianapana]

SH Day 6: Marriage Agreement: ‘Til Our Contract Do Us Part

@sasuhinamonth

Hello dears, this prompt is composed of an older story that I changed a bit here and there and finished just now (it’s somewhat finished as in the ending isn’t too open, but it is open enough for me to continue if I ever wish to). I was very excited to finally use it after having it in my docs for idk maybe a year or so. It’s veeery long compared to what I usually write for these prompts but it just didn’t feel right to split it into parts anywhere.

~Love, Dia

Modern AU, OOC

Champaign

Hinata couldn’t help but sigh in relief when the waiters started walking around with trays full of Champaign glasses, it meant that the speech and toast part would come soon, that was her dad’s way of ending these events, thanking everyone for coming. Usually after the toast people drank their glasses quite fast and they all shook hands with Hiashi before leaving, considering there were about a hundred people around that would take about another hour. She made it thought the preparations for the event and the event itself which took over 7 hours, the worst parts ended, she will survive the goodbyes.

Once the trays were all empty and everyone had a glass in hand Hiashi walked to the middle of the room at what seemed to be the slowest speed possible. Everyone was watching him, nobody dared talk. For most people this wasn’t their first Hyuuga Event and they knew how things worked, and even those that attended it for the first time were smart enough to follow everyone’s lead and stay quiet.

Finally reaching his usual spot Hiashi rose his glass and started speaking. Hinata sent a small prayer to the heavens wishing the speech to be short.

“I want to start by thanking everyone for coming over tonight, especially in such a short notice” it was indeed short notice, Hyuuga events happen 2 times a year on the 20th March and 23rd September; spring and fall equinox. But Hiashi decided a month ago that a mid-June event needed to be held this year. Nobody knew why. “I hope everyone had a pleasant time today, from our oldest friends,” Hiashi said turning to the Nara and Yamanaka leaders “to our newest friends” his eyes moved to Fugaku Uchiha “and everyone in between”

Hiashi started talking about the notion of friendship and how important bonds are in ‘our world’. Hinata could tell the speech would be a long one, and with every bullshit word coming out of her father’s mouth she wanted to roll her eyes. But she couldn’t. The elders were watching her every move, Neji and Hanabi were in the same position, having eyes on them at all times. They all had to smile and nod and act like these events are their favourite place to be, no matter how big of a lie that was. She was tired, the servant woke her up at 5 in the morning to start getting ready, her father didn’t agree with the first two dresses she had put on, the putting on and taking off, took her about 2 hours in total and was extremely exhausting despite the help from the servants. The preparations for the event also took longer than usual. Her father kept telling her how important it was for her to behave. Hinata had never been the one to cause problems during such events, no matter how much she hated them, but for some reasons, it was her that was always given the longest lectures.

The windows were open at least and the night summer wind gently blew inside. The dress Hiashi approved of was a deep red long evening gown. All the skirt layers were extremely heavy and she had been standing on high heels for longer than it should be humanly possible, the corset was so tightly tied, at times she’d have issues breathing and to top it all off the dress had long lace sleeves which were sticking to her skin. It had not been a fun dress to wear in the middle of a heatwave. Her mind was still drifting in space when all of a sudden, her father stopped talking.

“I know many of you have been wondering the reason for this event and we shall let you know. Fugaku would you mind joining me?” The Uchiha leader went to the centre of the room as well. Whispers started going around the crowd, nothing like that had ever happened before. Hinata looked to Neji trying to see if he was aware of any of that, but her cousin would not make eye contact with her. Neji’s head was lowered, his fist was clenched and the hand around the glass was white-knuckled, it was a miracle the glass hadn’t shattered in a million pieced from his grip. Neji was aware of what was about to happen and he was not pleased.

“Today is the first time in over 100 years when the Hyuuga and the Uchiha families meet in peace at an event such as this. The bond between the two is alone a motif to celebrate but we must do everything in our power to keep this bond as strong as we can which is why we have decided to bind the families together thought marriage.” Hiashi’s voice boomed with pride. The crowd’s whispers grew in intensity. Hinata looked at Hanabi, both girls looking shocked and even scared. Hanabi wanted to reach out and hold her older sister’s hand. Grip it tight and pray that they both get over this event intact, but before she could make a move Hiashi started speaking again. “Hinata, my daughter would you please come here”

All eyes turned to her. Her heart beat a thousand times per second, despite her sudden fear her body moved gracefully, her mind was in utter chaos but her body knew the drill, it obeyed whatever her father told her to do. As she was passing by people, a familiar hand gripped her for a moment, trying to say so many is such a small touch. Ino, her best friend, tried to give her all the strength she had, she wanted to assure her everything will be fine, and also thought that touch she said sorry. She said goodbye. Hinata reached her father’s side and turned towards the people. She had never been in the front of the ballroom before, had never had all the eyes on her. Hiashi put his hand on her shoulder and smiled at her, the kind of smile she had never seen before. The smile she had wished to see as a child, there was pride and content in it, but it only made Hinata’s heart break further. The emotions were not directed at her as a human, he was not proud of her, his pride came from finally finding it, a way to get rid of her. He had married her off.

“Sasuke my son, come!” Fugaku’s command was just as loud and even stiffer. Hinata found Ino’s eyes in the crowd. Her friend was crying silent tears. Seeing Ino cry made Hinata oddly detached. It was a strange sensation, she almost felt like her soul had left the body and she was watching from somewhere far away all of this happening to somebody else. The Hyuuga girl moved her eyes from her friend to the man walking towards them. Her future husband.

Once the young Uchiha stood in place Hiashi raised his glass and finished the toast. “To my beautiful daughter and her fiancé,” they cheered for her. They drank for her. And yet she didn’t. The Champaign glass was still full. She was lost… not in thought, her mind was blank but she wasn’t present either.

“Look alive princess” Came a voice from her right. Sasuke took her glass and finished it in one gulp. He placed both his and her glasses on the tray of a waiter and took her hand and kissed the back of it. People gasped and whispered. He put his arm around her shoulders and pulled her to him. With her on heels, his mouth came to her ear. “Smile sunshine. This is supposed to be the happiest day of your life. Fool them all” His voice was oddly gentle and it broke something in her. She would have cried but Sasuke was right; she had a part to play. Taking a small breath in Hinata fell in character.

Hiashi told them to do the honours and say goodbye to everyone, after all that was their engagement party. Hinata looked up at the man she would spend her life with and gave him a sweet and shy smile, she even managed to make herself blush when he smiled back at him. She smiled and blushed whenever someone congratulated them or made a comment about their engagement. From time to time, she’d steal a glance at Sasuke and look at him with what she hoped came across as admiration. They made eye contact a few times, he winked at her twice. They were both playing their parts flawlessly. One could not tell that they had never met before, that they were not indeed lovers. Fugaku called Sasuke to him and Hinata was left alone to say goodbye to the guests. A few older ladies praised her for being able to catch such a handsome husband.

The next in line was Gaara. Hinata’s heart broke a little more upon seeing him. He too looked sad, which her brain turned to something else despite knowing it not to be true. Her feelings for Gaara had not gone away as she had hoped they would after finding out that he was in a secret relationship. “I am sorry Hinata” He whispered as he kissed her cheek. There was nothing either of them could do, people were waiting in line to talk to her after Gaara. Her father and fiancé were in front. Hinata smiled and thanked him just as she had everyone else. Gaara would not save her, he couldn’t and even if he could…he wouldn’t.

Ino was one of the last people to come talk to her. She had gone to the bathroom to pull herself together after crying. The blonde was stronger than that, but she had cried for Hinata because at that moment Hinata could not afford to cry. The Yamanaka girl hugged her tightly and whispered in her ear encouragements that they both knew would not help.

Everyone had left but the Uchiha family and the main Hyuuga family. Even the Hyuuga elders had seen themselves out. Habani was nowhere to be seen. Neji, her father, Sasuke, Fugaku and Sasuke’s elder brother Itachi were all talking among themselves. To the side was Mikoto, Sasuke’s mom. Hinata was still by the door; now that everyone had left, she was unsure of what to do, under normal circumstances she would be allowed to leave and go to her room, but her father hadn’t dismissed her yet. The Uchiha woman looked to her, smiled and started walking towards her.

“You look lovely dear. I’ve been keeping my eye on you the whole event but Fugaku would not allow me to come and talk to you sooner. Come dear let’s sit down and gossip while the men talk business”. The two women walked to the first table and sat down next to each other. “The event was so long; I thought your father would never make his speech. It must have been hard for you too, staying all those hours on high heels and in that dress, what were the servants thinking giving you such a heavy and warm dress to wear; do they not know it’s summer?” Mikoto went on about trivia things a moment longer. Hinata had yet to say a word, however, her future mother-in-law didn’t seem to mind her silence, for she filled it with mindless talk.

“I know it’s a difficult time for you,” The woman said and took Hinata’s hands in hers. “They were unfair to you, they should have let you know earlier.” Mikoto touched a strand of Hinata’s hair. “You have nothing to fear. We are a good family. My son will take care of you. It will take a while for you to adjust I know, but this is not the end of the world.”

Hinata opened her mouth to say something but found her throat was so dry she couldn’t say anything. After clearing her throat, she tried again. “Will I be leaving with you tonight?” the idea of leaving tonight and not being able to say goodbye to anyone was unboreable.

“No sweetheart. The Uchiha is an old family with old traditions, you will move in with Sasuke only on the night of the wedding. It is a sin to live under the same roof before that.” Hinata nodded. At least she still had some time before that.

“When is the wedding?”

It was easy to see Mikoto was an affectionate person, she moved her chair to be closer to Hinata and hugged her. Something about the woman put her at ease, her voice and hair reminded her of Hikari, her own mother, it was a strange feeling. “The wedding will be in three months. Before that we have to pick a dress, everything else has been pretty much done, you can look over everything and make the last-minute decisions. Of course you and Sasuke will spend some time together to get to know each other and-“.She was cut off by Sasuke himself when he addressed her “Mother” Mikoto squeezed her harder one more time before letting Hinata go. The woman got to her feet and kissed Sasuke’s cheek. “Goodbye Hinata, I will see you soon dear”

She and Sasuke were now alone. He took a seat in the chair Mikoto had emptied. For a moment they didn’t talk. It was all moving along too fast for Hinata to comprehend. Just under 2 hours ago, all she wanted was the event to end so she could sleep. Nothing could have prepared her for the change her life took. It almost felt like it wasn’t real; or that it was all happening to someone else. She had not made a single decision about this.

“Tomorrow I’ll come and we will have lunch together and talk more. It has been a full and exhausting day.” His voice was just as gentle as it was when he whispered to her before. “What would you prefer we eat? I will make reservations ahead of time”

“Anything will do, I don’t mind” Hinata answered. She appreciated that he didn’t want to ‘get to know each other’ then and there. She was indeed tired and needed to think about everything a little more, in order to realize that it was all indeed real. Looking up at Sasuke she had to say she was lucky; he was very good looking and so far, had shown her kindness. If what his mother said was true her destiny wasn’t as cruel as it could have been.

He got up and extended his hand for her to take, which she did. Hand in hand they walked back to where both families were still discussing. Neji would still not look at her, Itachi offered her a kind smile, Fugaku only a nod.

“I see that the two of you hit it off.” Her father said, it appeared he was really happy with the arrangements. Sasuke nodded to her dad. Hinata was certain that if Hiashi had his way she would leave with the Uchihas that very moment and never return.

“Hinata is tired, it is quite late so we should go. I will return tomorrow at noon in order to take her out for lunch Hyuuga-san.” Sasuke had not asked permission to take her out. He had simply stated that he would. That was the moment she realized her father was no longer the one to command her. Sasuke was. She wasn’t sure if what she felt was fear or excitement.

“Yes of course. Hinata you may leave” Hiashi said but Hinata didn’t move for Sasuke was still holding onto her hand.

“I will walk her to her quarter.” Hinata barely had time to bow to what would soon be her family before Sasuke started pulling her along. “In my presence you will not follow his word. My word is absolute, his is barely wind blowing by you.” Sasuke appeared to be annoyed by the fact that her father dismissed her. “If he says go but I am standing still, you too will stay unless I decide we will leave”

“Yes.” She knew how their world worked; despite them living in the 21rst century where women were seen as equals more and more every day, their world stopped evolving. The husband was the ultimate master while the woman was a possession. First, she was owned by her father, then by her husband.

They walked quite fast when leaving the ballroom, but once they were out of sight Sasuke slowed his steps. He was aware of the difficulty of walking in heels, his mother always made sure to complain about it. Her hand in his felt small and fragile, he had never been given something to take care of, sometimes that was his and his alone. He had been against the marriage at first. He wanted to wait until he was the Uchiha head later in life before taking a wife but his father insisted, he needed to marry young and have heirs because Itachi could not. His older brother had been his father’s favourite from a young age; that was until Itachi was 18 and Sasuke 13, about 10 years ago. On his 18thbirthday Itachi gave up his title as the heir in a very public way only to than later inform his father that not only does he not want to be head but he would not be fit for the role, for he could never give heirs to the clan. Itachi’s infertility came as a shock to the whole family. Sasuke was tested as well as soon as possible but thankfully the tests proved that he would be able to have children.

Fugaku had learned in the past 10 years to accept Sasuke as his heir, his relationship with his father was better now than it had ever been, but even so they were not as close as Itachi had been with him. But Fugaku put in all his efforts to try to make Sasuke the best, he taught him everything he could and allowed Sasuke to do as he pleases as long as what he did would be useful to the family. So, when he informed Sasuke he had picked a wife for him it came to no surprise that he had chosen a girl from a very important family, a family even older than the Uchihas and just as influential. The girl was known among her people as an angel and was believed to be the most beautiful Hyuuga girl to ever be, so of course, Fugaku wanted her for his own heir.

Upon seeing Hinata for the first time that night Sasuke had concluded the rumours had not been false. He had not been disappointed in the slightest. He was actually impressed. He expected two outcomes: either the girl to cry and make a fuss about the marriage or to be the ditzy kind of girl he had seen around that throws herself at him. She had been neither. For the shortest moment she had faltered and shown her true feelings, disbelief and numbness, but she pulled herself together as soon as he spoke to her. She had acted and played her part perfectly.

The pavement was old and uneven towards the main house. Almost nothing had been altered from the time the house was built, only maintained, so cracks and unevenness in the pathways happened. Hinata was trying her best to walk over them in her heels. Normally by that point in the night, she would take her heels off but she was not alone. Noticing her slowing down Sasuke stopped.

“Would you want me to carry you?” The offer was unexpected and it made Hinata quiet for a moment which Sasuke took as ‘yes’. He slightly bent and placed an arm under her knees and the other around her back. On instinct, Hinata placed both her hands on his shoulders to steady herself.

“You didn’t have to do that” Despite saying that she was thankful. Her feet were killing her.

“How high are your heels?”

“About 6 inches. Why?”

“6 inches and I’m still 6 inches taller than you.” He made a humming sound. Hinata didn’t know what he was thinking but she didn’t try to figure it out either. It was hard enough trying to figure out what she was feeling, there was no energy or time to uncover the mysteries of Sasuke’s mind. Her body was tired but her brain was even more exhausted. At this point not really caring anymore, she placed her head on his shoulder and just enjoyed the ride. Upon getting to the main house Hinata instructed him to go to the 2nd floor to the left. There was a guard outside her door that did not stop him from entering her room but actually held the door open for him. Two servants were inside waiting to help her undress and wash before going to bed. Sasuke put her on the edge of her bed.

“Thank you for bringing me here.” Hinata said. She felt a bit shy now, not really knowing how to say goodbye to him. This was the first time a man beside her dad and Neji entered her room. Not even the guards were allowed inside.

“Goodnight Hinata, I will see you tomorrow” Sasuke said, he kissed the back of her hand once more and left. Not waiting for her reply. Once again, a choice was made for her that day, but she was grateful for it this time.

The servants were gossiping about her fiancé and how gentle and beautiful he was, about how he had looked at her and how he had carried her like she was the most precious thing in the world. They guided her to her feet and to the full-length mirror to the side of her bed.

All their words were flying around her but none of them really registered; her brain was still not processing much of anything. She was still in the ballroom holding her Champaign glass praying for her dad’s speech to be short.

The servants untied her corset and Hinata took in her first deep breath in what felt like ages. They peeled off her sleeves and pulled the skirt away from her body. She was left in her underwear and heels in front of the full-length mirror. Her arms were splotchy and red from place to place from the itchy lace, her breasts and abdomen had red traces from where the corset was too tight on her. Her panties were red to match the dress, her legs were white and smooth but they were barely holding her at that point in the high heels, they were visibly shaking. Her eyes moved back up over every inch of naked skin until it reached her face. She wasn’t sure what she expected to see there, maybe something different. Some kind of evidence of the announcement from that night, but everything looked just as it did that morning.

One of the servants had just finished putting the dress away for it to be cleaned the next day, while the other filled her bathtub with hot water, salts and oils. Hinata would usually take off her heels and walk on her own to the bath but she was still looking at herself in the mirror, her eye make-up wasn’t smudged at all, her lipstick had gone after eating and drinking halfway through the event, so she excused herself to the bathroom several hours ago to take it off, her updo had lost some of its volume and a few strands had fallen around her face. She was too close to the mirror, her image being all she saw. Hinata took a few steps back and tried to picture Sasuke next to her naked body. They would make a beautiful couple even she could admit that.

Not being able to stomach the image she had in her head anymore the Hyuuga girl finally turned around and sat on the bed for a moment to take her heels off. She walked to the bathtub and took off her underwear as well and lowered herself in the hot water. Her head was resting on a soft towel; one of the servants started taking her make-up off and cleaning her face with scrubs and putting gels on her face and gently massaging everything in.

“Haruhi, could you please put some music on?” Hinata asked the servant that was not busy at the time. A moment later soft music started playing in the background. Once the facial massage was done a charcoal mask was applied to her face and finally, her hair was taken from the updo. Mina, the servant washing her poured some warm water on her head in such a way as not to get it on her mask. Her hair was shampooed twice and conditioned and rinsed and finally, put in a towel.

Haruhi came to help with washing her body, they scrubbed at her neck, collarbones, arms, hands, breasts, back and every other part of her. Her body was rinsed and washed again, more gently with moisturizing lavender soap and rinsed again. Her facemask was taken off, the water drained from the tub and she stepped out of it allowing the servants to towel her off. Mina placed a large towel over her bedsheets and Hinata laid on her back and enjoyed as both her servants massaged every part of her body with more oils, once they were done on one side she turned on to her front and they started to work again.

Her massage was almost done when Hanabi busted through her door. Hinata lazily opened her eyes, she was tired and finally relaxed, thus on the edge of falling asleep. Her sister was in her night attire, her hair still wet from her own bath most likely. Her eyes were red, she must have cried, but she looked angry at the moment. Hinata’s servants did not stop their massage despite the company of her sister.

“How can you stay there and enjoy your massage?” Hinata asked sounding astonished.

“You had enjoyed your bath time, why shouldn’t I?” Despite all of Hinata’s efforts over the years she and Hanabi weren’t as close as she wanted. Hanabi had always resented her for being older, the firstborn, the heir. When Hanabi was 3 and Hinata 7 the younger spent her days playing and reading stories and being watched by the elder women while Hinata was studying with the men. Hanabi had asked once why that was the case and an elder said “Your sister is the heir. She has to know how to be a leader, while you my dear, you will be a wife to someone” Despite that incident, things slowly started changing over the years, Hinata lost her father’s favour and Hanabi was taught leadership skills while Hinata was toughed to cook. Despite the obvious manner in which Hiashi favoured her now, Hanabi had always felt jealous of her sister, for she always believed what that old woman said to her in her childhood, she resented Hinata for she was to be the one that would not be married off. What an irony.

“Why aren’t you upset?” Hanabi’s voice was breaking and she was shaking. “Why aren’t you angry?” her fists were clenched and she looked like she wanted to start a riot. “Why aren’t you in dad’s office demanding he change his mind?”

“There’s nothing to change Hanabi.” Hinata finally got up and gestured to the servants to leave. She took the towel and put it around her body as the two bowed and left the room, left the sisters to talk among themselves. “Dad did it in such a way that it cannot be undone.” Hinata walked to her closet looking for something to wear to bed. “He didn’t tell me before so I couldn’t contest it, and now I can’t. Everyone that matters in this world knows about it. Unless I have a good reason, a very good one, there’s nothing that can stop this. In three months I will not be here anymore” Hinata finally picked a silk shorts and tanktop combo and put it on. “And you little sister.” The older one said as she walked towards her sister “You will be a Hyuuga forever, this will be the only house you know, these will be your people.” Hinata wanted to finish her sentence with ‘just as you’ve always wanted’ but stopped herself short.

Hanabi was crying again. She had prayed and wished to be the one to stay for so many years. But she had never thought about her sister leaving. She had always been bitter and held Hinata at a distance even when the older one tried to make the gap between them disappear. She had never taken the opportunity to get to know Hinata, and now she couldn’t.

“I’m sorry.” Hanabi said and hugged Hinata. They hadn’t hugged in ages. This time it was Hinata who pushed away.

“It’s over for today. I have not yet realized that this is not a dream. We will speak tomorrow. I’m going to bed now” She was a bit angry at Hanabi for only now trying to act like a sister. She had tried before that evening too, right before Hinata’s name was called, but even then it was in a moment of weakness, of fear, it wasn’t out of love or care. For most of her life Hinata tried to convince herself that she was fine with the way her and Hanabi’s relationship was, after trying for a few years to bond with her and being rejected, Hinata became content with what they had because she believed Hanabi not to be able to connect on a deeper level. She didn’t connect with Neji or Hiashi either. But seeing that she is indeed able of that connection, that she just didn’t want it before, hurt her more than Hinata would ever admit.

Hanabi left and Mina and Haruhi peeked in Hinata’s room. “Good night Himata-hime” they said in union and Hinata wished them a goodnight as well. Them calling her hime reminded her of the way Sasuke had called her Princess. ‘Smile sunshine. Fool them all’ he had said. And she did. She smiled and fooled them.

Now that her head was finally on her pillow, hair still damp, sheets cool and comforting, the room dark and quiet she allowed herself to admit a few things out loud. “I am getting married. I will be an Uchiha. Sasuke will be my husband.” The silence in the room was deafening “I am scared.” A little voice in the back of her brain whispered ‘I am excited’ but she didn’t say it out loud. With those thoughts in mind, she fell asleep.

________________________________

The next morning felt normal. She woke up, brushed her teeth, washed her face, got dressed and went downstairs for breakfast. She didn’t feel different. Upon reaching the dining room she realized for once she was the last to arrive. Hanabi was in her seat looking upset, Neji was frowning at his phone and her dad was reading something on his pad. That is what the house would look like in three months. She moved from the doorframe and all eyes turned to her. Hanabi still looked sad, Neji looked sorry and her dad was happy. Hinata walked around the table and sat in her chair.

“Good morning sunshine. How did you sleep?” Hiashi had stopped calling her sunshine when she was 4 years old and Hikari died.

“I slept very well, how about you father?”

“I did as well”

Neji was looking at Hinata almost expecting her to cry or scream. He was looking at her face trying to find proof of tears from the night before, but her face wasn’t red or puffy. She looked well-rested.

The breakfast was finally brought for them to eat and they did so in silence. Hiashi was the first to finish and instead of leaving to go do work as he would normally, he started talking.

“Sasuke will be here at noon. You should start getting ready after breakfast” Hiashi too wanted to test his daughter and see how she would address the situation. He wanted to know if he had to give her a lecture about her behaviour around the Uchiha heir.

“Yes, I know. I already thought of what I want to wear. I will change and come seek your approval as I would for an event.” Hinata said between bites. “He didn’t mention where we were going but he did say he will make reservations so I am assuming it is a dressy place despite being a lunch date”

Everyone was taken aback by her answer. Hinata had not lied, she slept very well and woke up early. She accepted her fate almost entirely, she picked what she wanted to wear and even thought about a few things she wanted to ask Sasuke. In all truthfulness, she was a bit excited but was trying to keep her expectations low, that way she would not be disappointed if this change was not for the better. The only thing she didn’t particularly like about this was not seeing Ino and Neji. They were her best friends despite Neji’s behaviour in those 2 days.

Seeing as nobody spoke anymore Hinata excused herself and went to her room to start getting ready. It was only 9 in the morning. Sasuke would only come in about 3 hours but there wasn’t much else she could do.

She didn’t even reach her closet to take out the outfit she had thought of wearing when Neji came into her room. He walked to her and bowed. “I’m sorry” he was apologizing for not telling her, for not being able to stop it, for the way he treated her.

“It’s ok Neji. Everything could have been worse.” She wasn’t lying. She heard of many girls that had married old and abusive men. Their whole life they were raped and beaten. She didn’t know Sasuke at all but from the 2 interactions she had with him, he didn’t appear like he would hit her. Mikoto too seemed nice enough. “What is one prison exchanged for another?” She wasn’t allowed to do much in the Hyuuga household anyways, read and study. She was a bit eager to see if she had a bit more freedom as an Uchiha and if not, she was already used to being a caged bird.

“I couldn’t convince uncle not to do that. The bond with the Uchihas was apparently necessary. And Fugaku requested you to marry his son. Uncle couldn’t deny a direct request like that. Plus...” Neji decided to stop there.

“Plus, dad would rather Hana be the leader.” Hinata continued what Neji wouldn’t say. “I know that Neji. I’ve known that for a while now.”

“If one of the leaders were to request to marry you as well uncle might need to reconsider” He didn’t sound sure at all.

“He wouldn’t change his mind. The relationship with the Uchihas is more important to him than any other family at the moment. In addition, nobody would risk their bond with both us and the Uchihas for my hand in marriage” Hinata absently replied while looking through her collection of necklaces while sitting at her vanity.

“If we ask Gaara maybe-“

“He wouldn’t. and I would never ask him either” Yesterday she might have jumped up at the idea of marring Gaara. But something changed and made her realize her feelings for Gaara were never really for the man, but the freedom he represented. Gaara was her friend, he was a leader and if he would have been her husband, he would have offered her the most freedom a woman can have in their world. “I would never ask your boyfriend to marry me” Hinata said this while watching Neji’s face in the mirror.

Her cousin blushed and looked alarmed. “You are mistaken Hina-“

“Stop” I know I’m not. Her eyes softened. “It took me a while to realize but I did. And I confirmed my suspicions when I told Gaara about my feelings a few months ago and he said he was in love with someone himself. I asked why he wasn’t marrying this girl and he replying that his relationship was taboo. I thought she was a married woman maybe, a commoner. But it clicked when I saw him look at you.” Neji was still not moving or breathing.

“I will not tell anyone about the two of you Neji. It is nobody’s business but yours.” She got up from the vanity and walked to him and hugged him. “For what is worth…I wish you both happiness.” She knew that their relationship would not be accepted in their world and her heart wept for both cousin and her friend. The world was cruel. “I hope you find a way to be happy and free” She wanted that for herself too. Happiness and freedom to find who she was and then be herself.

Neji hugged her back. “That means the world to me Hinata.” He sighed long and his body felt like it was deflating. “I hadn’t realized how it would feel to hear the words from someone other than him or me. How much I wanted someone to validate the way I feel” Neji took a step back and kissed her forehead. “I wish you happiness and freedom as well Hinata. I hope your life as an Uchiha to be better than your life as a Hyuuga has been.”

She hoped that as well. After another hug, Neji remained in her room and the two of them chatted while Mina and Haruhi were doing Hinata’s hair and make-up for her date. The dress Hinata had chosen was a black beach dress with daisies and sunflowers on the skirt. The skirt was cut on one leg to her mid-thigh. The upper part was like a tank top in the front but the back was almost bare, only a few strings places in a random pattern kept the front from falling. She would pair the dress with gold wedges and a gold choker and her normal hoop earrings. Her makeup was done also in soft golds and whites. Her hair was braided in the front like a crown and she asked Haruhi to braid some small daisies in as well. The rest of her hair was free and in waves from not drying it properly before bed. Neji had left right before she changed her clothes about 10 minutes ago. Being finally done she did as promised and went downstairs to get her father’s approval, it was still only 11 so if he had any complaints she would have the time to change, or so she thought. After knocking on his office door and being granted access Hinata opened the door only to find Sasuke in the room with her father.

Hiashi looked up at her and he only nodded his approval for her attire. Sasuke had on a white button up with the last 2 buttons undone and the sleeves rolled to his elbows and a short pair of black slacks.

“Come in Hinata, Sasuke came early so we had a talk while you were still getting ready” Hinashi beckoned her to enter the room but she didn’t move to which Sasuke smirked.

“Actually, I think we will be leaving now, seeing as she is ready as well. I will see you later Hiashi-san” Sasuke greeted the older man, took Hinata’s hand and closed the door of the office. Neither of them said anything as they walked to Sasuke’s car.

Hinata was starting to get nervous, not only for the date and being alone with Sasuke, but because she hadn’t been outside without her father or at least Neji. Sasuke opened the door of her and she got inside his car. He walked around and go into the driver’s seat. Before starting the car though, he kissed the back of her hand.

“You look lovely today as well.” He turned her hand around and kissed her wrist. “You were a good girl Hinata, not listening to you father.”

Her breath hitched due to the second kiss, no man touched her wrist before, let alone kiss it. During her talk with Neji they discussed Sasuke as well. Her cousin said that he is known to be cold and quite cruel. But he had been anything but that to her. He had been gentle and affectionate, something she had never experienced. Nobody in the Hyuuga household hugged her or kissed her hands.

Sasuke looked at her and smirked at her blush, he could tell this was the real deal and not a fake like the ones from last night’s goodbye charade. He finally started the car and drove down the Hyuuga driveway till he reached the first gate, one of the security men opened the gate for them and they continued down the driveway to the second and final gate, this was opened for them as well and they were finally on the road.

“I have never left without father or Neji the premises of the house.” Hinata admitted.

Sasuke looked at her for a split second from the corner of his eye. She was looking out the door with a small smile. “Not even to a friend’s house? I noticed you talking with the Yamanaka girl a lot. Were you never allowed to visit her just with a guard or two?”

“No. Neji always had to come along” Sasuke’s reply was a small hum. He hadn’t realized that the Hyuugas were that strict.

“I will assign my best guard to you once you move in with me. When I am at work; because unlike your father I am away from the house quite a lot, you will stay with him. You are free to go as you please as long as he’s with you”

‘You are free’ was what Hinata heard. She had wanted to be free for such a long time but now that I was so close to her, she wasn’t sure what she’d do with said freedom. The rest of the drive she spent trying to come up with what she would do the first chance she got.

The restaurant was in the centre of the city, where she had never been before. The amount of people walking around was mind-blowing. There were kids laughing, people talking walks and strolling around just because they could. Her whole life the thought of public space being dangerous had been drilled in her head. Other families could be around, they could hurt her. ‘People are mean and cruel’ that was Hiashi’s go-to answer when one of them wanted to go somewhere. Despite Hinata never really believing what her dad said, his words were on repeat in her head, so without really meaning to she took a step closer to Sasuke, held onto his arm with both hands and tried to hide away. Even if one does not believe the things they are told, if they are told them often enough, they become involuntary habits; she had been taught to think she was always in danger, paranoia was not easy to let go of.

When he had said they’d go eat at a restaurant she thought he meant one owned by the Hyuuga or by the Uchiha family, a restaurant from their respective part of Konoha. She knew what part of the city belonged to the Hyuugas and looked up what parts belonged to the Uchihas and this part wasn’t owned by either.

He noticed her stiffening in the car when he parked it. He noticed her fear and the way she clung to him for dear life. “What’s the matter Hinata?”

She looked up at him with big eyes, she looked like a deer caught in headlights. “Aren’t we in danger?” Her voice was low and trembling. Sasuke stopped in the middle of the sidewalk and took both of her hands in his. Hinata took a step in front and pressed her body to his, still trying to hide.

“Why would we be in danger?” he was genuinely confused.

“People are mean and cruel. This isn’t our territory. Someone could try to shoot at us.” The reply rolled off her tongue without much thought. She had heard them so many times they felt natural.

Sasuke placed one of her hands on his chest and the other on his back above the waistband of his pants. Hinata’s eyes grew even larger when she felt both guns. “This is neutral space. We’re not on anyone’s territory.” He said softly and let go of her hands but they stood in place. “And even if someone was to try to harm you, I’d kill them all” he whispered in her ear in the gentlest way possible. The threat should have scared her, but it made her feel secure. “I will protect you with everything I have. Nobody will dare touch a single hair from your head for the fear that I’ll destroy them all” Sasuke tucked a hair strand behind her ear as he continued to spill threats to any future danger. “Do you feel better now?” he finally asked.

“Yes” Hinata answered but couldn’t look at him. She felt silly and embarrassed for being worried. They were a few steps from the restaurant and had been standing in place being an inconvenience to people passing by. “Let’s go inside” she turned around and started walking to the door and Sasuke followed. He could see her flushed cheeks but allowed her to think she had hidden her discomfort from him. There were things on his mind, her fear had been real. She had been taught that if she were to ever leave her house she would die, her father hadn’t been above lying, traumatizing and manipulating her emotions to keep her in place and in control. He had always stayed home to work so he could keep an eye on all of them. Sasuke did not agree with his methods at all.

They were finally seated at a private table on the second floor. Hinata was looking at the menu with a sparkle in her eyes. “Do you know what you want to order?” Sasuke asked her. The restaurant was fancy enough to have steak and lobster but it also had hamburgers.

“I think I’ll take a chicken cheeseburger. I tried making one in secret home and it was good enough but I’m curious to see what a real one tastes like” She said with enthusiasm. “What about you? What are you ordering?”

“I think I’ll have a burger as well, the extra spicy one” Just as the two closed the menus the waiter came to take their order. Sasuke ordered for them the burgers and a big portion of fries and onion rings with a side of all of their 4 sauces, neither of them wanted soda so they decided to order a large bottle of water.

“You’ve never eaten a burger before?” Sasuke asked trying to go back to what she had said before.

“Only the one I made. Our cook usually makes food for 2 days so he has Tuesdays and Thursdays off. In those days I like cooking something that I want to try rather than just help him with whatever dad ordered he cooks…Most what dad wants is traditionally Japanese food and I like it, but I see some foods in movies and I want to try them.���

“So, you like watching movies?” He wanted to know what her hobbies and interests were in order to provide her with them so she wouldn’t get bored alone at the house when he was away.

“I watch a movie once every 2 weeks when Ino comes to visit me.”

“She only visited you two times a month?” He had believed the Yamanaka girl to be her best friend.

“Yes, that’s how many times father allowed her to come over…” Her voice so far had been light but it had a tint of sadness when she had revealed this last part.

“What about other hobbies. What do you do usually in a day?”

“Hobbies? Oh well, umm…Usually I wake up and if it’s a day where the cook is at work, I help him make breakfast, lunch and dinner. In between I had a few classes that the elders taught me about leadership. Neji and I usually have tea in the garden when he has the time…”

He was furious. Hiashi was killing her. He didn’t allow her to leave, but she couldn’t get visitors, she wasn’t allowed to do anything but exist. He wasn’t sure if he could wait three months for her to move it. Hinata was his and she was unhappy. He could tell Hinata was feeling a bit awkward because of her answer which is why he didn’t push it. The food came and they ate in silence. Hinata had loved her burger. She tried all 4 souses and really liked the sweet chilli and the honey mustard one. After the waiter took their empty plates Sasuke ordered dessert.

“Did you enjoy the food?”

“I did. The burger was much better than the one I made home…” Her smile had returned on her face. Despite the fact that he had been against the marriage before, Sasuke was eager for it now. From the moment he had laid his eyes on Hinata this feeling overcame him, the need to protect and please her. She was his and he would keep her safe and happy no matter what. Whatever she’d ask for he’d give her, if she wanted the moon, he’d find a way.

“I’m glad you liked it. Next time tell me what other foods you want to try and I’ll think of a place to go.” Hinata agreed. They talked a little more about the food when the dessert finally came. He had ordered a lava cake with vanilla ice cream, according to many people that was the best dessert the restaurant offered.

“There’s only one. Do you want to split it?” Hinata asked but Sasuke only shook his head and pushed the plate in front of her.

“I don’t particularly like sweets so you can eat it.” He watched her enjoy the cake. She had giggled after cutting into it and seeing the molten chocolate pour out. She had never eaten a lava cake, of course. His chest felt tight, like something was squeezing his heart and wouldn’t let go. He couldn’t stop thinking about how Hiashi had sheltered her from all these small pleasures of life, he wanted to hit the older man, but at the same time, he couldn’t wait to see Hinata experience everything for the first time. It was like watching a child, she had the same big and innocent eyes.

When Hinata finished the cake, the waiter took the plate and brought the check for which Sasuke paid but they didn’t get up to leave yet. “I have a few things for you” he said. And pulled from his pocket a new phone with the charger and its pair of headphones. “I already programmed my number there and Naruto’s; he will be your bodyguard. If anything happens during these months when you are still living with Hiashi call me and if by any chance I can’t pick up call him.”

Hinata was staring at the phone like it was alien technology. “You’re giving me a phone?”

“Yes. I want to be in touch. Sadly, I can’t come and eat with you every day so on the days we can’t meet I want you to call me. I’ll call you as well when I get home if it isn’t too late and we can talk, you can tell me about your day and such” Hinata nodded and took the phone from him and stared at it for a second longer. “You can add any number you want, Neji’s, Ino’s, your sister. It will be helpful to have them for when you come and live with me and feel lonely.”

“I can add other numbers…?” Hinata was once again hit with the realization that Sasuke was offering her freedom and she didn’t know how to take it. She was overwhelmed by the fact that she had a phone, let alone that she could use it to call Ino.

“Of course. It has an unlimited number of minutes and internet too. You can watch movies if you wish. Also, if you want to buy something online use the phone, I programmed it so it would automatically take money from my account and I’ll be notified.”

Hinata was trying her best to keep tears from spilling. For some reason the fact that he allowed her the freedom of a fully functional phone felt like a huge step, he was putting his trust in her. At that moment Hinata made a promise to never betray his trust. In the few hours that Sasuke was the one in charge of her, he had been more indulging and kinder than her father had been during 22 years.

“And the last thing” Sasuke said as he took a red velvet box out from his other pocket. He opened it and inside was the most beautiful ring she had ever seen. The band was made of white gold and it had a big red ruby in the middle and on each side three smaller diamonds. The ring wasn’t overly huge, but it was beautiful. “I didn’t have the time to give this to you yesterday, I’m sorry” Hinata shook her head, there was nothing he should apologize for.

Sasuke held out his hand for her to place hers in so he could slip the ring onto her finger. It fitted perfectly and looked gorgeous on her finger. It felt a little strange, she had never put on rings on her left hand because it was considered bad-luck, so the feeling was foreign but she knew it would go away soon enough and the ring would turn into something that brought her peace at all times just from looking at it.

“I love it thank you” The squeezing was back and more powerful this time. She was wearing his ring. He had proof to show to the world that she was his. Sasuke was the one to get up first and Hinata followed. They walked out of the restaurant and back to the car hand in hand.

It was barely 2 in the afternoon. “I’m sorry I can’t spend more time with you today.”

“It’s ok. It was more than enough. I had a wonderful time, thank you” Hinata was still looking at the ring with a smile on. It was weird how something that yesterday felt like the end of the world, today felt like the beginning. Her heart fluttered when Sasuke opened the box and showed her the ring and it violently beat in her chest as he was putting it on her finger. Maybe marrying her off was the best thing her father could do.

They reached the Hyuuga house faster than either of them would have liked. “I’m not coming inside this time” Sasuke said as he walked her to the door. Hinata just realized that that had been her first date. She saw similar scenarios in the movies she watched with Ino. The boy walked the girl to the door after their date and he would kiss her. Would Sasuke kiss her? Did she want him to? A part of her was scared but the other part of her was screaming ‘KISS ME’. But Sasuke didn’t kiss her, at least not on the lips. Just like last night he kissed her forehead and left saying goodbye.

Hinata walked inside the house and it felt even colder and duller than normally. She wasn’t sure she could survive another three months there, not when freedom with Sasuke was that close. Hinata didn’t go to tell her father she was home, instead, she ran up the stairs to her room where Mina and Harushi were waiting for her. Her servants were a few years older than her, yet Hinata had never considered them friends because Hiashi drilled the belief that servants were to be servants since she was small, but her dad had been wrong before, so maybe he was wrong on this occasion as well.

The two girls bowed to her and Hinata stopped. She wasn’t sure how to act, a sudden image from a movie popped into her mind. When one of the girls would tell the others about her crush and they’d all jump up and down and screech. So, she took in a deep breath.

“You can raise your head” she said in her normal tone. The girls did as she asked. Taking in another breath she extended her left hand for them to see the ring. “Isn’t it beautiful?” Her energy was overflowing and she couldn’t contain it anymore. She started jumping up and down and laughing.

“Today was the best day ever. He was so lovely and just everything was amazing.” Hinata took one of Mina’s hands and one of Haruhi’s and started jumping up and down. The servants looked at one another before starting to laugh too and jumping with her.

“The ring is lovely” “And he’s so handsome” “I’m glad you had a lovely date Hinata-hime” “Did he tell you when the next one will be?” The two were talking alternatively.

“He didn’t but he gave me a phone and said he’ll call everyday he can’t see me” She showed them the phone as well. Hinata wanted to call Ino as soon as possible but she didn’t know her friend’s number. Whenever she wanted to talk to Ino she’d use Neji’s phone. Hinata started walking towards the door to the hallway, she wanted to look for Neji to get him to put his number and Ino’s in her phone.

The rest of the day went by faster than most of her days do. She talked to Ino on the phone for hours then took a bath and as she was changing in her night attire her phone rang. Sasuke had kept his promise to call her when he got home. She told him about talking to Ino and asked about his own day. Their conversation wasn’t very long but it still made Hinata smile. She fell asleep with a smile on her face and thoughts of Sasuke in her mind.

________________________

The following morning the first thing she did upon waking up was to check her left hand to make sure the ring was there and that it wasn’t all just a dream. She couldn’t help but smile upon seeing the piece of jewellery.

Sasuke’s question about hobbies bothered her a little, she had never really had the means of finding a hobby, she either didn’t have the time or didn’t know what to try besides cooking recipes she made up. But now she no longer needed to attend the leadership classes, her father informed her of that at breakfast, and she now had access to the internet, she could try learning a new skill, discover what she liked to watch or read, find out something she enjoyed doing. That was on her to-do list until she met with Sasuke the next time, get a hobby.

Ino liked gardening and making flower arrangements, Hinata liked helping her around the garden as well but doing the arrangements themselves was always difficult and not particularly enjoyable. The one thing she knew she’d like was drawing but was a bit scared. She had always doodled on her notes but had never tried to do an artwork. So that was the first thing she looked up on youtube, drawing videos. She found many and every single one was more amazing than the one before.

Hinata immersed herself in the videos and all the different ways in which one could create art.

________

Despite being in the middle of work Sasuke couldn’t help but think about Hinata and the things she said during their date a few days ago. She was basically a teenager getting her first phone. Sure, she knew a shit ton about leadership, her family and their world but she knew nothing about the outside world, technology and real human relationships. She didn’t know herself either, that part, seeing her figure out who she was as a person, what she enjoyed and what she didn’t, would be lovely to watch. But Sasuke was still confused about how Hiashi thought he could shelter his heir from everything, had Hinata been the leader she would have been lost, not because she wasn’t fit for it but because she didn’t know how to navigate her way through the outside world, she didn’t know what to do when someone wasn’t giving her orders. Her father had succeeded in turning her into someone submissive not because she was weak but because she had never been given the opportunity to be independent. Hinata had amazing skills, she knew over 5 languages and was taught how to fight, but she didn’t know many basic things.

Sasuke kept thinking of the best ways to slowly expose Hinata to more of the outside world and its customs, the Yamanaka girl wasn’t as sheltered but she wasn’t exactly well versed in ‘normality’ either. Naruto would spend a lot of time with her too but he couldn’t entrust the blond to teach her things, who knows what dumb stuff he would fill her head with. Of course, the obvious solution would be his mother, she was the sanest out of everyone he knew and she could help her prepare for the life of ‘the wife of the Uchiha leader’, but he would like to assign someone that’s around their age as well, someone Hinata could consider a friend and not feel overly anxious around.

Before he could find the perfect candidate, his cousin Shisui came to inform him his father wanted to talk to him. He forced himself to focus on work, but lingering thoughts of Hinata distracted him every now and again. He was still worried about her being in the Hyuuga household still, time seemed to be moving in slow-motion, the beginning of September appeared to be years away.

________

Her eyes were sparkling as she was telling him all about the painting tutorials she watched the past three weeks, she apologized for wasting so much money on ordering acrylic paints and brushes. When Hinata mentioned the money issue his temper almost got the best of him, Hiashi had so much money, enough to have a Rolex to ear for every day of the year, yet he couldn’t allow his daughter under 100 dollars to buy paints? Not to mention, but Hinata’s perception of money was off, she apologized for spending 12 dollars on a tube of paint without knowing that the phone she ordered it with was almost a thousand times more expensive. Hiashi only ever spent money on his daughters if it fit his needs, he dressed them well so people could see their wealth, Hinata had been nothing but a trophy.

“I’m sorry I asked for your address, but I just don’t want the order to come to the Hyuuga estate, I’m sure father would destroy everything I bought…” Hinata said, the tips of her ears red, as if she was embarrassed for having him as a father. It wasn’t her that should have been embarrassed but Hiashi.

“It was a nice surprise, seeing you order and send things over to my place already made it even more obvious to me that the wedding is going to happen soon” That wasn’t a lie. When her first order of brushes and canvases arrived Sasuke asked the servants to clear a whole room downstairs, one that had a glass wall towards their garden and turn it into a painting studio. Besides what she ordered he got more, he bought every type of paint there was, acrylic, water, oil and many others. He even talked to Sai, one of his workers that is a famous painter and asked if he would be open to giving Hinata a few hours, of course, provided she was fine with the idea as well.

“H-how do you feel about the marriage…? I can’t imagine you were pleased with it…” her face was lowered, her eyes watching as she was playing with her hands in order to distract herself from the question. She was scared he’d say he hated the idea, especially since over the past month since the announcement, her feelings slowly turned to happiness and excitement.

“I was slightly annoyed when dad first told me. But I’ve changed my mind and I cannot wait” Sasuke answered and placed one of his hands on top of hers to calm her down. “It drives me mad knowing you’re stuck in that house for another 2 months. I have to constantly fight the urge to just sneak in and kidnap you” His tone was light thus turning his words into a joke, Hinata giggled at it, but Sasuke was dead serious.

“I’m glad” Hinata admitted and grabbed his hand with both of hers and brought it to her lips and kissed his knuckles. Her feelings for Sasuke were complex, they started out as indifference when they were simply just individuals belonging to the same world, then they turned to fear and maybe a light form of hate the moment Hiashi announced she had been sold off, but after spending the slightest time with him, she felt relief, admiration and gratitude towards him. He represented a better future, one with freedom and happiness, a future away from her father. Sasuke was her saviour, but even those feelings started to change, her heart would flutter whenever his voice echoed from her phone, she’d constantly check for new texts from him, the days in between their meetings were the longest, while the time spent with him seemed to be so short. Every time he kissed her hand or her forehead she wanted to grab onto his face and bring it down to her face, she wanted to hold his hand, to hug him, but the urge she had most often and the one hardest to fight was to ask for the wedding to be held earlier. Whenever Sasuke drops her off at the Hyuuga estate she wants to ask him to marry her right that moment so she could go home with him.

She spoke to Ino about her feelings and about Sasuke, Ino told her that she was so glad the Uchiha was so nice to her, but that she should be careful, her feelings appeared out of nowhere and they developed so fast, she shouldn’t get too attached to him, shouldn’t become totally dependable of him because in their world ‘love’ was never one to last. Ino’s view on love was jaded after her parents’ divorce, Ino’s father was devastated when his wife left him and his daughter was there to pick up the pieces. Hinata was aware her friend was trying to warn her and shelter her from future heart break, but the thought of Sasuke hurting her seemed outlandish.

They ate pasta this time around, and with every bite, her eyes got bigger and bigger. “This is the best thing I have ever eaten. How can something be this delicious?” She kept praising the food throughout, whenever the waiter came to ask if they needed anything else Hinata would ask him to tell the chef that he is a genius, that his food is the most amazing thing ever. Sasuke smirked and shook his head every time.

“I can stay for longer today, is there anything else you’d like to try?” He asked her as they were walking around the pedestrian central part of Konoha. Hinata had been utterly confused with the concept of a part of the city denying car access, whenever they crossed a street, she’d still check for cars despite Sasuke assuring her that there was no way for one to get there. The central part was crowded and busy with people, Hinata stood a step behind Sasuke trying not to bump into anyone, looking over his shoulder at her to see if she heard his question Sasuke realized she had not, she was far too focused on not hitting anyone to concentrate on anything else. Reaching for her with his hand, he placed his arm around her waist and drew her close to his body. Her face instantly turned beet red and she looked up at him. He lowered his face towards her and Hinata’s brain picked up speed, he would surely kiss her, but there? In front of all those people? Wasn’t a public kiss a bit too much? However, his face passed by hers and only stopped when his lips were next to her ear “I asked if there is anywhere else you want to go. It’s too loud and you couldn’t hear me”

Due to her embarrassment and agitation, she simply pointed at a random building, which turned out to be a Starbucks. The two of them walked together, Sasuke still holding her by the waist, but upon walking into the café he let go, she was disappointed, but only for a moment, for he was simply letting go in order to hold her hand. Their fingers intertwined and the world fell into place, the smell of coffee wasn’t overpowering, actually, the café smelled more of chocolate. Sasuke stopped before reaching the end of the line.

“Take a look at the menu, being here for the first time can be overwhelming with all the options. If you want, we can buy so pastries as well” He already knew well that she enjoyed sweets very much. “What do you usually get?” Her eyes were glued to the menu reading all the ingredients for each beverage.

“I don’t think you’d like what I get. I get a large Americano with 3 espresso shots and no sugar.” Upon hearing his order Hinata scrunched her nose in a disgusted expression, she looked up at him. “So you drink just…black coffee, willingly?” he couldn’t help but laugh at her disbelieve “My dad drinks it that way too, says that putting anything else in coffee is blasphemy. I once asked for sugar and he got so mad… I hadn’t had coffee since then” Her story left a sour taste in his mouth.

“Maybe I’ll get a large Latte with 3 shots of espresso and one cube of sugar after all…” That conversation made him realize that there was nothing he’d hate more than her believing him and Hiashi had anything in common, he’d drink sweet coffee with milk from now until forever if it meant distancing himself from her father’s image. The change in his order made Hinata smile. “I decided as well, I want a vanilla and cinnamon Frappuccino with almond milk” Sasuke placed their orders and out a few fruit tarts as well. Their lunch date turned to a dinner date as well, which had been the longest period they had spent together in one day, thus making it especially hard when it was time for Sasuke to drop her off. Hinata watched from the hallways window as his car slowly disappeared behind the huge gates of their estate, watching him leave made her heart hurt. She knew Sasuke hated leaving her as well, still, she couldn’t help but feel abandoned.

“Are you back?” Hanabi asked as she exited the library, she probably had just finished one of her classes. All of Hinata’s bitterness towards her sister disappeared, now she only felt pity. Hanabi would be stuck in the house forever and she would be free, it was scary how one’s view on certain events could change so fast. Barely a few days ago Hinata thought she was the one being punished, but now realized it was her sister.

“Yes I’m back” Despite her pitying Hanabi, the two weren’t close enough to offer kind words of encouragement and support. “But I’m a bit tired so I’ll go to sleep”

“He didn’t hit you, did he?” it was barely a whisper, but it made Hinata’s blood boil. Her alliances changed the moment Sasuke treated her nicely, hearing Hanabi badmouth him made her want to scream at her sister, but she didn’t. She turned around slowly and smiled. “He didn’t. He would never. He won’t. he isn’t father, there is nothing about him similar to father” Hinata didn’t stay behind to hear Hanabi’s reply. She ran up the stairs and the moment her bedroom door was closed she called Sasuke, he picked up on the second ring.

“I miss you” The words were out of her mouth before she even realized, but she didn’t regret them. “I miss you” she repeated, to show to Sasuke, to herself that she meant them.

“I miss you too” his voice was softer than she had ever heard it, it was a shame she couldn’t see his expression. She closed her eyes and wished for the weeks to fly by.

________

Despite her newfound freedom in the form of a phone with full access to the internet, Hinata’s days seemed to move slower than ever. The time in-between her ‘dates’ with Sasuke were dragging on forever. She’d talk to Ino on the phone, watch videos, read from an ebook, listen to music, cook and barely 2 or 3 hours of the day would have passed. The highlight of her day was always her chat with Sasuke. Apart from their night calls, they kept texting throughout the day as well, but he was busy with work so his replies were few and far in between. Wasting time and dreaming of her future became her routine, each day seemed to be a carbon copy of the previous one. Not today, however, today was a special day, today she, Mikoto and Ino were going to choose her wedding dress. Hinata was practically bouncing, eager to leave the house, eager to try the dresses on, eager to see herself in white, the dress would be proof not only that the wedding was getting nearer, but also that it was indeed reality and not one of her daydreams.

She had been worried her father wouldn’t have allowed for it, but both Fugaku and Sasuke assure him that Naruto, her future bodyguard, was the best and he would be able to protect the three women for the day. Thankfully her father was just as excited about the wedding and would not go and do anything to potentially ruin his newfound friendship with the Uchiha head.

The plan was for Naruto and Mikoto to get to her house around noon, then they would drive to Ino’s and to the dress shop. After picking up the dress they’d go to eat and see the wedding venue and all the plans Mikoto arranged, to make sure Hinata liked everything and if she didn’t so they could change everything by the wedding which was 3 weeks away. Hinata woke up at 7, unable to contain her longing to be outside, she got dressed up, ate and has spent the last 4 hours pacing around the entrance hall.

When her father passed by her early in the morning he lectured her, telling her how she should behave, be respectful, yet vigilant because ‘people are mean and cruel’ because ‘the shop isn’t on out territory’, because ‘you are always in danger.

Neji also spent about half an hour with her talking about her feelings about the wedding, her impression of Sasuke. Her stories and happiness eased his mind and guilt, for he had not been able to stop the arranged marriage. He truthfully wished for her excitement to never die; he hoped the Uchiha household would be a proper environment for her growth.

The only one in the Hyuuga household that was not on board with the marriage was Hanabi. She continued making remarks about Sasuke’s renowned cruelness, hinting that Hinata would not know happiness in her marriage with him. She constantly asked whether he had any violent tendencies towards her, whether he ignored her, whether he cheated on her. Hinata always tried to not let her words get to her, Sasuke was wonderful and more than she had ever hope for, she had no reason to doubt him, so all of Hanabi’s words never had any impact but annoy her. Hinata always defended Sasuke and Hanabi would answer ‘my foolish sister’, patronizing her, making it seem as if she knew more than Hinata herself. Hinata tried to understand where Hanabi was coming from…all of her life she had hoped to be the heir and now she was. But Hinata’s happiness was yet another source of jealousy for Hanabi, she was slowly realizing that once again, she was the one who had the short end of the stick, thus all of her remarks weren’t for Hinata to believe, but for herself. She tried so hard to convince herself Hinata’s future was bleak and Hanabi had to pity her, not the other way around.

Once again, right before Mikoto and Naruto arrived Hanabi made a remark that hurt Hinata’s feelings, a remark which Hanabi too regretted instantly, her remorse could be read on her face, but her ego stopped her from apologizing. “Make sure you pick a pretty dress Hinata, that’s what you’ll be buried in when he kills you on the wedding night” she said loud and clear, for the servants around to hear, had Hiashi been there he would have punished Hanabi for trying to destroy the Hyuuga-Uchiha Union, but all Hinata did was give her a sad smile and answer with “Good luck to you too little sister” Their relationship could never be fixed, not when jealousy was the primal feeling Hanabi held for her, not when her ego stood in the way of a sincere apology, not when Hinata was resigned and no longer wished to try.

Mikoto came like a hurricane, she entered the house without knocking, she hugged Hinata and kissed both of her cheeks, she complimented her on her dress and make-up. Behind her was a blond young man that gave her a warm smile. “This is Naruto, he will be your bodyguard when you enter the family”

Naruto took a step closer but made no attempt to touch her, he simply smiled wider and bowed his head slightly. “It’s a pleasure to meet and protect you Miss Hinata” Naruto’s use of her name and not of Hyuuga felt odd, but freeing; she wanted to move past this family. She would not forget them, for they were part of her, they made her who she was at that moment, but she wanted to leave them and this variation of herself behind, she wanted to become independent and someone she chose to become.

After picking Ino up the group was ready to go to the dress shop, Mikoto had asked Ino to sit in the front seat for she wanted to talk to Hinata in the back. Hinata couldn’t help but notice her friend’s red cheeks whenever she looked Naruto’s way. Hinata couldn’t tell if the flushness was due to the fact that Naruto was a man Ino had never had contact with when she was young, thus she wasn’t used to his company, or whether her blush had a deeper meaning. In the backseat, Mikoto explained certain details about the wedding preparations, her tone was light and she talked without any formalities. Whenever Hinata answered it was an awkward mix of formal and informal language and she refrained from addressing Mikoto directly, for she didn’t know what to call her, Mrs Uchiha, or was that too formal for someone to be her mother-in-law in 3 weeks? Mikoto, but wasn’t that rude to address in such a manner to an older relative?

Upon reaching the dress shop, the designer working there assured the women that she had reserved the whole shop just for them. She was eager to help and to please any and all of Hinata’s requests. “Call me Sakura!” she said as they met “no need for formalities, after all I am here to help you find what you will be wearing on the most important day of your life”

Hinata tried on 5 dresses before finding ‘the one’. It was perfect in every way possible. The bodice was made entirely of lace that was a bit see-through, thus had white material around the chest area in a heart shape. The skirt was long and flowy but not overly heavy, it had beautiful lace details on the bottom of the skirt and a split on the left leg until above the knee. It was a stunning dress, but so were all the ones before, however, the moment Hinata tried it on, it felt different, it felt right. Seeing herself in the mirror her eyes got a bit misty and in her overflow of emotion turned around to hug Sakura who just finished buttoning the last button at her back. She told her how she felt the dress was the one and Sakura’s eyes got a bit misty too. This is what she did that job for, these moments in which a young woman found her perfect one and only dress to wear on her wedding day, she lived to see the happy tears and all the smiles.

“Stay here for a second, I’ll announce that this is it, this is the dress” She learned in the years of doing this job that whenever an instant click between woman-dress happened it should always be said to the party that came to help pick the dress as well so they would not criticize anything and break the magic spell of the moment. “Hinata found it, her perfect dress” Sakura said just moments before Hinata walked in wearing the most radiant smile ever, Ino screamed and ran to hug her and shower her in compliments, Mikoto watched from the side-line as the three young women discussed how perfect the dress was. After a short while, Hinata turned to Mikoto with bashful red cheeks “What do you think Mrs. Uchiha?”

Mikoto went to her and hugged her close as well. “The dress is perfect, it’s everything I hoped you’d find and more” she made a short pause for she felt this pressure in the back of her throat as id she too was about to cry. “and please, call me mother, I know that the wedding will only be in 3 weeks, but you already are my child Hinata dear” Mikoto’s kindness and warmth only made Hinata cry more. Naruto watched with a smile the whole event, he too liked Hinata from what he had seen of her, he was glad his friend was lucky enough for the arranged marriage to lead him to her. Even before he met Hinata he saw Sasuke’s expression when talking about her, he heard the soft tone in which he spoke about her and could tell that his friend held a deep affection for his fiancé.

After the dress picking event, Hinata asked for Sakura’s number to call her in the instance of the dress needing anything done day-of the wedding, that was the excuse anyway, in reality, she simply felt as if the moment they shared in the dressing room was special and wanted to try and keep in contact with her. Their next destination was the wedding hall, followed by other shops to get the wedding shoes, jewellery and her second wedding outfit in which she would change after their first dance. Just like the days in which she had dates with Sasuke, the time flew by and soon enough it was dark outside and time for them to return. After dropping Ino off, instead of driving back to the Hyuuga estate, Naruto took a sudden left turn which led to Hinata’s confusion, doubt and for the smallest second fear. Mikoto placed her hand on her knee and smiled at her, letting her know there was nothing to be afraid of. Despite being quite late, it wasn’t dark out yet, the summer sun refused to set.

The car stopped in front of a restaurant Hinata knew. “Are we getting dinner as well?” She was wondering why did they drop Ino off, maybe Mikot had something to discuss with her in private? Before she could come up with any other speculations, her car door opened and a familiar face greeted her with a smirk on. Her heart started beating faster the moment her eyes met Sasuke’s. She placed her hand in his and was smoothly pulled out of the car and into his arms. “Thank you, mother for dropping her off.” He said and then nodded towards Naruto expressing his thanks to him silently. Hinata was still in a daze and looking up at him as if he was a mere hallucination.

“I finished work earlier and Naruto told me you guys were still out so I asked him to bring you to me” He explained the situation to her and ushered her towards the entrance of the restaurant. It was the same restaurant in which they ate that pasta, out of all the things they tried together those were her favourite. Looking up at Sasuke Hinata kept wondering how Ino could expect her not to fall for him when he treated her this way, he had brought her more joy than she had experienced in her whole life, the memories she had of him were her favourite. He was slowly and steadily becoming the centre of her universe.

Since the moment they got seated and he reached out to hold her hand and slowly brush her wrist with his thumb, Hinata had been fighting the urge to simply utter ‘I love you’. Was it too fast? They met about 2 months ago, they went on dates about twice a week maybe three times if Sasuke’s work allowed for that, however they talked daily, her thoughts were filled with him. She wasn’t confused, these feelings might have started as gratitude for being saved, but they were romantic, she was in love with him, that much she knew. Sasuke noticed how distracted she was during their meal, she barely complimented the chef, but he decided not to pry yet, however, her silence during their walk after dinner bothered him more than he cared to admit. He loved how her eyes sparkled when she spoke about things she loved. She stopped walking and turned to face her, cupping her face in his hands, her eyes fluttered shut for a moment. She looked so lovely, and so utterly small and fragile, he would protect her with everything he had, he would help her build her strength enough to be able to protect herself, but even then, when she was capable, he’d do everything in his power to destroy anything that posed as a threat to her, whether physical, emotional or mental.

“What’s the matter Hinata? You’ve been in deep thought all night” he had been excited to hear all about her day, Naruto kept him updated every hour, but hearing the events from her would have been much more entertaining. Hinata looked into his eyes longingly, he wasn’t sure what she wanted but whatever it was he would give it to her. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath in.

“I have been...thinking whether I should tell you something the whole night and I cannot seem to find the right answer, what do you think I should do?” her eyes were still closed, too scared to see his reaction. Sasuke was the one confused now, why would she be struggling in such a manner? She should always tell him everything, anything no matter how trivia, he wanted to know every single thought that went on in her mind.

Sasuke took a step closer to her, their bodies were almost touching and he was still affectionately holding her face. “I think you should tell me; I think you should always tell me everything” Hinata’s heart was beating out of her chest, she was scared to look into his eyes as she said it, but she wanted to see him as she said it too. Choosing to be brave today, choosing to believe that Sasuke would catch her when she fell, Hinata opened her eyes, placed both of her hands over his on her face and smiled.

“Ok, I will tell you” Her mind was made, but she still needed a second to compose herself. “I love you”

The feeling Hinata had when putting the dress on was similar to what Sasuke experienced upon hearing those words, however, the magnitude of his feeling was much stronger, it felt as if the planets aligned, as if all the events ever in the world and its history happened as they did in order to lead to this very moment. A star exploded that lead to the creation of a galaxy, to the creation of a planet, to the creation of humanity, all for this one single moment.

He had not thought in depth about his feelings for Hinata, not because he didn’t want to admit them, but rather because it was unknown territory, but the moment she uttered the words he knew them to be true on his side as well. “I’m glad” he answered, his voice cracked so he cleared his throat. “I’m glad you decided to tell me” Hinata’s smile was stunning, she had told him and he was happy, he was moved, she could see a myriad of emotions in his eyes, all slowly falling into place. Sasuke wanted to say the words back but felt oddly fearful and uncertain, he had never experienced that level of awkwardness. “I do too” he muttered feeling defeated, he had chickened out and took a shortcut, but he will try to work harder, he will be able to express his feelings.

Hinata wasn’t mad or sad or disappointed by his answer, she could tell he was trying his best and if she were honest, it was lovely seeing him be the flustered one for a change. They were still in the same position, their faces close to each other, so Hinata once again took the initiative and raised on her tip-toes and kissed him, it was merely a peck. She knew the Uchiha traditions now and wished to follow them thus not being able to fully kiss him, however, the moment felt monumental enough for a small peck to be excused, plus nobody would ever know.

Sasuke stared at her for a moment longer, she was such a complex antithesis, she was weak yet strong, afraid yet brave, clueless yet intelligent, and everything about her made him glad for all the decisions he ever took that led him to her. He was thankful to his father which without even realizing he showed, since his and Hinata’s engagement was announced he and Fugaku have been getting along much better, everything at work went smoother and he often worked harder and faster in order to get a day off to spend with her. Hinata too helped him, their relationship was equally beneficial to both, they both took and both gave.

________

All of the final preparations for the wedding were coming along beautifully, the big event was the next day, but for Hinata even that was too long, the past three months had felt longer than her whole life before her engagement. Everything was better in the Hyuuga household, Neji and her were closer than ever, for he was finally able to be fully honest with her and she too was much happier and open. Her father mostly left her alone, apart from a small incident in which he admitted that he had spoken to her doctors to have her fertility tested almost half a year ago when he and Fugaku were first talking about the union, the test came back positive, but Hinata still felt like that was a huge invasion of her privacy and complained to Sasuke, who in turn argued with both of the older men, but the deed was long done and there wasn’t much he could do but think even lower of Hiashi and treat his father coldly for a while, until Hinata assure him that she had moved past that issue. Even Hanabi stopped her remarks after the incident on the wedding-dress day. After choosing the dress she and Mikoto went out to spend time together a few more times, she even met up separately with Ino and Sakura twice. When Hinata talked about her new friendship with Sasuke he was, in her words ‘delighted’; Sasuke had hoped for the wedding dress girl to become Hinata’s friend after she first told him about her. He had wanted her to have a friend that was well-versed into normality in order to help Hinata at times navigate society, however, he wished for that friendship to bloom naturally, sure he could have done as others would, namely bribe someone into being her friend, but that would only cause issues later, plus being close to Hinata is payment enough.

The weekend before the wedding Hinata was invited to have dinner at the Uchiha estate, she and Mikoto were already very close, however, Fugaku still scared her a little while Itachi seemed nice, but maybe a bit cold and detached, unwilling to fully interact with this world. He reminded her a little of herself when she still lived at the Hyuuga household. Being able to form that connection, after dinner she sought him out and talked to him alone, trying to relate his feelings with her own. Itachi wanted to be freed from his family much like she did, however, the ties keeping him there were much stronger, he loved all of his family but could not fully function and integrate into their world of organized crime.

After her talk to Itachi ended, Fugaku apologized for breaching her privacy and welcomed her to the family. She knew how much that meant, her father had never apologized for anything, so she could only imagine how hard it must have been for Fugaku to step over his pride and ego, she appreciated it more than she let on.

The night before the wedding Hinata had a dream, in that dream, she and Sasuke were laying together on a bed just looking at each other while holding themselves close, she felt at peace with her surroundings and Sasuke’s eyes on her made her feel seen and loved. The whole dream was peaceful, they sit in silence, then talk a little followed by kisses and laughs, which would quiet down to silence and the circle would start anew.

When her servants woke her up at 5 am, she wasn’t annoyed as she normally would have been before any other event, she had taken with her the peacefulness of her dream, she had waited so long for this day it almost felt like this was just another dream too, but the scrubbing her servants did during her bath stung, letting her know that this was reality, the happiness she felt was going to be a constant, for Sasuke will make sure to keep her smiling throughout their whole lives.

Unlike the preparations for other events in which Hinata didn’t particularly care about her looks, she was very specific this time around, she and Mikoto picked together her hairstyle too, her makeup colours and every little detail. Time seemed to dilate at times and a minute felt like an eternity, while other times it felt as if it were on fast-forward, she’d close her eyes for a second and a full hour would have passed.

By 9 am she was completely done, looking at herself in the mirror she remembered the day the engagement was announced, how picturing herself next to Sasuke felt strange, but now, picturing herself without him felt unnatural, her brain and heart finally agreed and they both knew Sasuke was her everything, he would be the one and only to ever stand by her side. While she was admiring herself in the mirror Neji walked in, telling her it was time to go to the church, the wedding was about to begin.

Nothing could ruin her perfect day, not even Hiashi holding her hand proudly as he walked her down the aisle, not even Hanabi refusing to make eye contact with her, all she could see and all that mattered was Sasuke at the end of the red rug, standing tall and handsome. Everything that had happened before in her life almost didn’t matter, this was the moment her life began. She barely heard anything the priest said, her answers were mostly done on auto-pilot, only when it was the moment for the rings to be exchanged did her eyes water, hearing Sasuke say ‘I do’ was a memory she’ll treasure forever. Their first official kiss was short, much shorter than she had hoped it would be, but even that didn’t ruin her mood, for she had walked inside a Hyuuga and left an Uchiha.

It was during their first dance that Sasuke whispered “I love you” he softly into her ear, only for her alone to hear, it had taken him a bit longer than her but he got to the point in which he could express his feeling in words too, for he had told her he loved her countless times with his actions alone. “I love you too” she replied and pulled his face to her for a kiss, not caring remotely that people were watching her. She would not be punished for causing a scene, Hiashi had no more power over her and Sasuke would never cage her or treat her like an inferior. She had the freedom to do whatever she wanted, and her first choice was to kiss her husband in front of all of those people on her wedding night.

@sasuhinamonth