#welcome to me being neurodivergent about a show I like

[lesbianfakir]

what do you think about the sub vs dub for princess tutu, obviously the dub wins because it has the “I’m gonna write a letter to the president” line but other than that how do they stack up? (assuming you’ve watched both)

Oooooooooooo I’ve seen both multiple times and I have SO MANY opinions on this!

Super short answer: I usually watch Japanese. I have a strong preference for Japanese duck and mytho, I like both rue performances equally, and I prefer English dub fakir.

Slightly longer answer: I generally prefer sub, I find there are more characters and performances I enjoy. Overall I think the voice acting is higher quality (I’m sorry dub fans) and a lot of the cheesier lines don’t come across that way whereas they sound a little silly in English. Imo the English dub is more fun but the Japanese dub holds more dramatic weight

Long answer:

Oh boy I have LOTS of feelings on this where do I begin. Okokok JAPANESE DUCK I LOVE YOU!! I love her so so much. Her voice is the perfect amount of scratchy and nasally to sound like a duck. I love it! She doesn’t have a beautiful princess voice but she so truly sounds like herself, she sounds like Duck. Beyond that she sounds more natural in the role, listening to the English dub it breaks immersion a little as Duck’s actress sounds more like she’s playing a character. Also Japanese duck is just super adorable AWAWA

My friend describes English dub mytho’s voice as moist. And. Yeah. I can’t argue with that. Moist. His delievery of specific lines is funny like when he’s screaming ‘why won’t you love me’ but overall this is another case where I think the Japanese version holds more dramatic weight. Japanese mytho SOUNDS more like a fairytale prince to me, and I recognize that’s a simple matter of opinion.

The mvp of the English dub is rue I love her she has STAGE PRESENCE. No notes beautiful showstopping spectacular she carries the role so well. Same with Japanese Rue! I love her!! If I had any notes it’s that Japanese rue sounds a little more childish when talking to the raven which I like as it shows how she never really got a chance to grow up.

ENGLISH DUB FAKIR MY BUDDY MY BESTIE!! The dub is worth it just for him. What I’ll say is that in English he sounds a little younger which goes miles for the character. In Japanese he sounds older and very serious and you lose a little bit of the childishness that’s inherent to him. Also his delivery of lines is funnier I love him. Their personalities are every so slightly different and I prefer English fakir for his bitchiness. I will say Japanese fakir has a very technically talented voice actor!! He’s really really good he just doesn’t suit the character as well imo. It’s so worth it watching in Japanese though for the scene at the end where fakir is crying as he watches duck get hurt. You can HEAR the tears in his voice in Japanese and the performance there always makes me wanna cry too.

Thank you for asking this!! Sorry it got long I didn’t realize I’ve been waiting for someone to ask me my opinions on this

[inga-don-studio]

Welp one step closer to seriously considering getting into burlesque & drag as a hobby

[ghostsandmermaids]

Podcasts To Listen To If You Like OFMD

Today is the anniversary of the finale of Our Flag Means Death season 2. One whole year without our favorite pirates :( But if you miss OFMD as much as I do, I have some podcast recommendations I think you'd enjoy!

If you want more queer pirates:

Trice Forgotten

Trice Forgotten is a found-family, pirating adventure. Alestes puts her head down working as a merchant, couriering deliveries and carrying travelers to destinations across the seas. Only, her travelers gradually become permanent crewmates, until she realises her ship has become a floating museum, laboratory, vault of repatriated ‘treasures’ and chef’s kitchen. After spending most of her life with the understanding that nothing changes, no matter how hard you fight, Alestes is faced with a choice: Will she use her new network of allies to build safe harbour and potentially a future for her new community, or will she once again put her head down and drown in her sea of excuses…

Queer neurodivergent pirates of color! Found family! Homoerotic sword fights! What else do you want? (And they even talk about OFMD in one of the Below Decks episodes!)

The Ballad of Anne & Mary

It's 1721, and London is abuzz with news of notorious pirates Anne Bonny and Mary Read, currently languishing in Newgate Prison. It’s the perfect time for debt-ridden journalist Nathaniel Mist to exploit the public appetite and ghost-write a sensational (and hopefully best-selling) history of pirates. But as the balladeers and gossips on the streets of London build myths around the blood-thirsty, perverse lady pirates, Mist is forced to reckon with the real Bonny & Read… Featuring musical sensation Christina Bianco, actress and comedian Sooz Kempner, Hamilton star Karl Queensborough, drag legend Le Gateau Chocolat, and more.

If you can't get enough of Anne Bonny and Mary Read, listen to this podcast musical about them!

If you want more queer comedies:

Welcome To Night Vale

Welcome To Night Vale is a twice-monthly podcast in the style of community updates for the small desert town of Night Vale, featuring local weather, news, announcements from the Sheriff's Secret Police, mysterious lights in the night sky, dark hooded figures with unknowable powers, and cultural events. Turn on your radio and hide.

Okay, it's a horror comedy and can be creepy at times, but it's also one of the few shows that have made me laugh as much as OFMD.

Starship Q Star

When a space agency sends the “first all woman and non-binary crew” on a blatant PR mission to Mars, they inadvertently end up the last six humans in the universe. Lead by Co-Captains (and exes) Aurelia and Sim, Starship Q Star follows this madcap crew on their quest across the galaxy in search of a new home… which is basically one hilarious mishap after the other.

I suppose if you found the absolutely two perfect ex-girlfriends and sent them to Mars, then they could potentially… co-captain?

If you want more queer historical comedies:

Fawx & Stallion

London, 1889. When the residents of 221B Baker Street leave town for the weekend to solve one of their most famous cases, no one is left to clear a poor housekeeper’s name of a crime she didn’t commit. Well, no one except for their neighbors at 224B…

Tonally, this is probably the closest to OFMD. I started this podcast yesterday and fell in love with it immediately. If you like OFMD and Sherlock Holmes, please check out Fawx & Stallion!

The Kingmaker Histories

On the 19th of February, 1911, in the Valorian Socialist Republic, an assistant tailor named Colette Geise experienced a migraine that ruined her life. This is a historical account of what happened next. THE KINGMAKER HISTORIES is a steampunk weird fiction podcast about being gay and doing crime, brought to you by the freaks who brought you Less Is Morgue.

Alternate history + magic + comedy + queerness. Do I need to say more?

If you want more (queer) rom-coms:

Me and AU

When Kate “ACunningPlan” Cunningham sparks up an online friendship with a fellow fanfiction writer it seems like the perfect distraction from a summer stuck in her hometown of Kamloops, B.C., not to mention the coming terrors of her final year of university and the Real Adult Future beyond. (Seriously, please don’t mention them.) After all, Hella--Enchanted is funny, smart and writes canon-divergent werewolf fic like no one else. She’s everything a fandom could ask for. But… what if she’s everything Kate could ask for, too?

Me and AU is not only an adorable sapphic rom-com, but also a love letter to fandom! Go listen to this, it's so cute!

Life With LEO(h)

A sci-fi(ish) romantic comedy podcast starring a repressed lawyer, a criminal client, a pesky sister and her fiance, an infuriatingly sexy coworker, and an android in the mood for love. Jeanine Bell​ is a robotics intelligence lawyer whose laser focus on her career has come at the expense of her romantic and social lives. After successfully keeping AI genius Penelope Lane out of prison, Jeanine receives the gift of LEO(h),​ an android with Synthetic Sentience. LEO(h) is Loving, Empathetic, Optimistic, and (only sorta) helpful. He's programmed to love Jeanine. He’s also very, very illegal.

I'm only two episodes in and already so invested in this story! Jeanine and LEO(h) are absolutely adorable.

(Note: as far as I know, the main romance isn't queer, but there are other queer characters in the show.)

If you want more queer found families:

Hello From The Hallowoods

Darker than your dreams, and farther North than you remember, there is a forest where life and death meet… Come walk between the black pines! In this award-winning queer fiction podcast, a cosmic narrator follows the increasingly connected residents of the forest at the end of the world. It's a bittersweet story that explores queer identity, horror genre tropes, and finding hope in humanity's last moments.

Did I only add HFTH to the list because it's my all-time favorite podcast and I want more people to listen to it? Maybe. But I also genuinely think that if you like OFMD, you are going to love some of these characters. Check out my fandom manifesto if you want to learn more!

Starfall

Starfall is a fantasy audio drama about the adventures of the Carouvel Traveling Acting Troupe - a theatre troupe that uses magical items to create illusions for their shows as they move around the Falstenian Empire. The story begins as the troupe is joined by Leona, a young warrior with a mysterious past and even more mysterious powers. With their new guardian in tow, the troupe traverses the continent, encountering the dangers of humans, fae, and greater forces alike, all while still trying to put on a good show.

Remember Stede's fuckery play in S1E6? Now you can listen to a fantasy theatre troupe put on magical plays! How cool is that?

If you want more of the cast:

Kisses in the Dark

Against the bright lights of Blackpool, a supernatural killer is at work and a dark and dangerous love affair begins… A sinister, disturbingly romantic seven part podcast drama written by Marty Ross (BBC’s Catch My Breath & Ghost Zone and Audible’s The Darkwater Bride) and starring Con O’Neill (Chernobyl, The Batman) and Rhiannon Clements. A contemporary Gothic horror tale set against a background of life on the narrow edge between Pleasure Beach and wild cold sea, between secret desire and a deadly evil. Also starring, Kyle Rowe, Pamela Mayoss, Steven Gidwaney, Patrick Price & Ryan Clayton.

Con O'Neill plays one of the main characters!

What Will Be Here?

In What Will Be Here?, five friends send a rocket to space with a collection of recordings on it that document the world’s decline, the stories they want to tell, and their efforts in building this rocket to get their message to the stars. They wonder what their world will have become by the time their message is listened to. At its core, this show is about living and creating when things feel pointless. It's a story that came out of the pandemic, and the landscape in which this story was written and produced greatly influenced how it turned out. What Will Be Here? is set on earth 200 years in the future, where large-scale crises are fully normalized. But despite the bleak backdrop, this story is one of hope - of overcoming challenges, of making things that might be temporary, but also things that might be launched into space and continue on forever.

Vico Ortiz plays one of the main characters!

Dungeon Masters

Dungeon Masters takes a behind-the-curtain look into the world of Dungeons & Dragons, told through the lenses of the creator of the game, Gary Gygax, played by Wil Wheaton and of private investigator, William Dear, played by Jon Hamm, a swashbuckling tough guy in 1979. Gygax guides the audience through this incredible true story as our Dungeon Master, as we follow Dear on his quest to find Dallas Egbert, a Michigan State student, who supposedly disappeared in the steam tunnels under his university while enacting a real-life version of D&D. What Dear encounters on this journey and ultimately discovers, defies all expectations, and changes the culture as we know it.

Kristian Nairn plays one of the main characters!

The Diaries of Netovicius the Vampire

Neto is an artist first, an immortal vampire second, but for now he's being kicked out of his Beacon Hill apartment in Boston Mass. That's where we begin, but more than a year into this audio-series I can't believe the journey Neto, and me, the creator have been on. But that's a longer story than I can get into here. For now, I hope there is something in this audio-series for you. It's about vampires, but ultimately it's about recovery, from trauma, from alcoholism, even from cults. It asks: Does time really heal all wounds? Featuring VAs known for Valorant, Diablo IV & Overwatch

Written and performed by Hugo Pierre Martin!

The Cryptid Factor

Three best buddies - Rhys Darby, Dan Schreiber, and Leon 'Buttons' Kirkbeck bring you The Cryptid Factor - a podcast dedicated to all things weird that are yet to be defined by science. Since 2008 they have passionately (and often awkwardly) been discussing 'cryptids' and monsters like Yeti, Chupacabra, Bigfoot and Nessie - as well as weird news of the world, UFO's, Time travellers, robots and space stuff. Though they take these pseudosciences as seriously as they can, they struggle to take themselves seriously at all. Hosted by comedian and actor Rhys Darby, star of top rating podcast 'No Such Thing as a Fish' Dan Schreiber - and Pulling it all together is their best friend, 'Buttons'. If anything goes wrong, it is probably his fault.

Rhys Darby is one of the hosts!

Date My Abuelita, First!

From Executive Producer Wilmer Valderrama comes a dating show that proves abuelita knows best! Host Vico Ortiz alongside our resident abuelita, Liliana are ready to meet their match! Three single contestants will compete for a date with one lucky guest. Through speed-dating rounds, hilarious games, wildly silly and genuinely heartfelt introspections, and grandmotherly love, one contestant will either be a step closer to love or be sent back to the apps. Abuelita holds all the cupid power, so let the chispas fly!

Vico Ortiz is one of the hosts!

[genderqueerdykes]

i read your post about punkness and thought i'd ask you since i love this account. i saw a tiktok (i know not a great place already) that said that you can't call yourself punk/be punk if you don't go to shows. is that true...? im severely disabled and deaf so i can't really listen to music and leave my house, but i've always identified myself with the punk/goth scene. i know music is a huge part of subcultures so i've always felt very left out of (online mainly) punk/goth spaces even though i try and participate in other ways.

hello there!

not only is that not true, but it's ableist and lame as hell. that is so pretentious, i am so tired of online punks distilling punk to "listens to loud music". and further more, people trying to create a divide between "real and fake punks." this is just the "POSER!!!!!!" fake goth shit from the 2000s all over again. punk shows are genuinely dangerous for a lot of people for quite literally no reason whatsoever. like they're enjoyable for many, but they are NOT accessible to disabled people in general. some places im sure go above and beyond but most are organized by someone who's intoxicated, or thinking about the "wow" factor more than anyone's safety or well being.

i don't go to shows anymore. i did for the better part of a year and then stopped because i am also disabled. most of the venues are VERY small and crowded. there is no room for mobility aids. i've had to be out on the floor with other people dancing and moshing without even a cane. you can very easily get pushed or hit or knocked down and people may or may not help you get up. also the crowds get filmed without anyone being informed beforehand that there might be filming happening and that might not feel welcoming to paranoid people

there's almost always flashing lights at shows for some reason, which can be extremely dangerous for epileptic and photosensitive individuals. these sorts of spaces are hell on earth for anxious people, people with PTSD, autism, schizophrenia, ADHD and many other kinds of neurodivergence and mental illness. there's generally not really spaces where you can decompress or stop hearing loud noises for a while. i literally just hung out outside most of the venues because the music was so loud it was making my ears ring. people with tinnitus and misophonia are going to struggle greatly in these environments

alcohol and drugs are the norms at these shows. often times, minors are not carded, and are in fact given booze and alcohol anyways because the show organizers just don't see that as a bad thing. i witnessed show organizers in my own area giving drugs and alcohol to minors and not carding anyone. i was offered so many different types of drugs and offered alcohol so many times it made me dizzy. i had issues with alcohol in the past and have trauma surrounding it and being around drunk people. these environments are NOT friendly for addicts and substance users who are trying to maintain a healthy relationship with substances, or those who need to be away from them in order to heal

like you mentioned, a lot of d/Deaf and hard of hearing people may not feel included in these spaces. not only that but shows can CAUSE hearing damage and loss, due to the fact that no one is making sure that the music is being played at a safe volume. most of the time it's as loud as the speakers will go, or close to it. most of the instruments are either intentionally poorly tuned, or tuned in such a way where they sound harsh, aggressive, avant garde and unique. as a result, this can hurt a lot of people's ears, overstimulate them, or cause them to faint if it's certain tones or decibels. i know many punks who developed hearing loss due to this

i tried to point out that saying that punks HAVE to listen to punk music is ableist toward d/Deaf and hard of hearing people but for whatever reason that pissed people off. but i'd like to stress again: if you assert that punks HAVE to listen to punk music, you are leaving out people with hearing difficulties. not all d/Deaf and hard of hearing people can't hear anything at all, I understand this. but saying that punks HAVE to listen to music is leaving out so many people with hearing difficulties or those who are in danger of losing their hearing. please be compassionate. this is a serious issue.

it's not virtue signalling to say that this affects deaf and hoh punks in a very serious way. thank you for reaching out to talk about it. honestly, shame on everyone who said it's virtue signalling to point out that punks saying you have to listen to music is a slap in the face to a lot of deaf and hoh people. i hope this gives you something to think about. you really need to consider people on every side of a spectrum when it comes to a disability. you need to care about people with significant or total hearing loss, too.

anyone who tells you you HAVE to go to shows and listen to punk music is a cop without realizing it. they're policing who punks are and what they do. that's gatekeeping. that's policing others' identities. that's literally unpunk. as long as you resonate with punk ideals and aren't a cop or other kind of fascist, you're a punk. it really is that simple. it's an entire subculture outside of just the music. i get how important the music is. but it's literally so ableist to say that punks HAVE to listen to music and HAVE to go to shows.

also, not all punks have the time. some punks have a family to care for or careers they enjoy. not all punks have a local punk music scene at all. that's a very privileged approach if you ask me.

[weeb-polls-with-pip]

Autistic Anime Boys Prelims - Propaganda Division - Group 6

Propaganda:

Kiriwo -

"Seems innocent at first and he's just a guy with a special interest in magic items, but watch out."

Arjuna -

"MASKING KING!!!!!! ok joke aside one of his biggest things is that he's super scared that if anyone gets too close to him they'll notice he's not perfect/has a 'secret darkness' (that's literally just a guy) and overall a lot of his storyline is a strong parallel for being neurodivergent and becoming more comfortable with accepting it. he's also super strict and hard on himself for any sort of failure that isn't in line with what's socially appropriate but at the same time he doesn't always have a good grasp on what that is which is how you get stuff like him blowing up a forest to try and impress someone. it also runs in his family bc his brother is autistic as hell too."

Sherlock -

"God, where do I start? I mean what Holmes adaptation, even if he's not the main character, would this be if he were not autistic coded? And our combo of autism and ADHD is absolute perfection, all tied up with a pretty, excitable face. Hit him with the crime hyperfixation and do not make him wear socks."

Apollo -

"Not canonically autistic but he has ZERO volume control plus he scripts/repeats stuff (“I’M FINE!!!”), sometimes mimics other people’s speech patterns (like replying “ja” to Klavier), sensitive to loud noises (stayed backstage at a concert cuz it was too loud) and bright lights (complained about the stage lights being too bright at the same concert + screamed when opening the hatch to the bright stage at magic show), and has been really into space since he was a kid, which could definitely be a hyperfixation (not to mention how he read every single one of Phoenix’s old case files back when he admired him). Plus he’s a little TOO normal, to the point where it circles back around to making him the odd one out, which is absolutely what masking feels like for me. Even when he tries to be fun and weird he gets strange looks/made fun of for not being weird in the right way. The list of autism symptoms is just a checklist for him at this point."

Heiji -

"90% of the cast in detective conan is autistic but heiji is the most autistic of them all."

Urara -

"Another alien who is so excited to dance with everyone that he does not understand that his intended purpose of inviting people to dance via water communication is brainwashing them into dancing and is causing extreme chaos. He nearly causes an apocalypse by being so excited about dancing but he apologizes and tries to make friends with Yuki at the end of the story. He is extremely soft spoken and try, finding it difficult to begin conversations and fidgeting."

Shu -

"speaking specifically about the first season but he was the "explains everything so the audience knows whats happening" guy. he was pretty antisocial (not sure if thats just how he was or if he lived alone [which was fucked up cause he was 11]) . im trying to think of more but my brain goes hghghhhggggh im just a big fan of him."

Vash -

"ain’t no way i’m the only one who’s submitted him. go look at the gif of him crawling in the dirt like a bug while he dodges bullets and get back to me."

Hyakkimaru -

"Due to a terrible curse he has lived his whole life without several body parts including his eyes and ears. Because of this he is often overstimulated and awkward in new situations (when he doesn't do what he does best, killing monsters and samurai with his sword arms) He can't say or express much, and often comes off as strange and creepy, but he is actually a cutie patootie full of emotions, has a big heart, a keen brain, endless inner strength and loves the people close to him! This adorable, cursed, demon slaying boy deserves everything!"

Kei -

"He has the tbh face. Also he canonically has sensory issues and gets sensory overload. He constantly wears earbuds. He has an extremely rigid sense of morality and considers himself a savior figure. He has a hard time relating to other people and is a bit awkward in his interactions."

[risingphoenix24601]

Why (stage) Nessa is Ableist: An Essay

Disclaimer: I am disabled, but not a wheelchair user. I am chronically ill (EDS + all the bs that comes with it) and neurodivergent (ADHD, SPD, awaiting an Autism eval).

I will start with my personal perspective. My gripe with Nessa is that she is spoiled, her father favors her, and she expects everything to be done for her and soaks up everyone's pity. I'm not saying this never happens, but I feel like a lot of people just assume our parents coddle us and that our lives are easier, as if being disabled is some sort of advantage, and I've even seen us represented as going around looking for people entrap into helping us. When I was in high school, some kids found out I had a 504, became jealous (bruh, I'm jealous that you were born with high-speed internet brains) immediately assumed I was an arrogant prick who thought I deserved "special treatment," and took it upon themselves to make sure I felt like a burden. Believe me, being born into a world that doesn't know you exist is NOT an advantage.

Getting into more specific stuff: the movie did a great job correcting this, but since I'm talking about the stage version, I'm just going to list it: Elphaba's going to school just to care for Nessa, but I don't think she's in a position where she would need a full-time care-taker, so there's the trope of us entrapping people to do our bidding and that we're burdens on others (movie made clear that the dad is the asshole here and not Nessa). Second, many characters, some of whom don't know her at all, wheel Nessa around. You NEVER touch a person's mobility aids without their permission. Again, move fixed this. Third, Nessa says to Elphaba "I'm about the first happy night of my life!" Don't get me wrong, having a disability can really suck, but it doesn't mean our only emotion is misery. Plenty of disabled people live meaningful, fulfilling lives. My uncle has commented to me that he'd never guess I'm sick because "those people usually go around with a scowl." My uncle is Vietnam war vet. I'm sure if I knew half of the hell he went through, I would be shocked that he doesn't walk around with a scowl either-- but life goes on.

I'm going to address the controversy of the cure in Act II. Let me make this clear: plenty of disabled people want to be cured, and portraying someone who wants to be cured is not problematic. What is problematic, however, is that this is a very complicated topic and the show presents it in a way that is very simple. I'll use myself as an example: I would cure my EDS in a heartbeat, but neurodivergence, I honestly don't know. I am now at a point where I don't hate myself and actually like the way I am, but there are still days that I wish I was normal. I don't view my neurodivergence as a "gift" or another way of being, it is a disability and my life is harder because of it. And yet, I would be a completely different person without it. And I'm not sure if that's a person who I'd want to be.

We must remember that Nessa has been disabled since birth, this is her normal. And more than that, it's part of who she is. Suddenly being able to walk would be a massive change, and not necessarily a welcome one-- I think she would have the same fears that I have regarding fixing my neurodivergence. I also don't think Nessa is in a significant amount of pain or discomfort. So, ultimately, she is not disabled by her physical condition, she is disabled by the world around her.

This is, is my opinion, the biggest problem with the Wicked Witch of the East scene. Nessa's life is undeniably harder, but the lyrics incorrectly ascribe her suffering to her disability, when her suffering is actually caused by ableism. Also, wheelchairs are tools of accessibility. They are not bad or shameful things.

So yeah. I'm sorry that was long, but I've been seeing a lot of people asking about why it's ableist and there's no way to explain in one or two sentences, because this a complicated topic with complicated feelings. I hope I covered all the bases.

[cinnamon-stixs]

TADC EPISODE 3 HAS DRIVEN ME INSANE SO HERES A REALLY LONG RANT ABOUT ALL THE THINGS I NOTICED!!

-The horror visuals fucking SLAYED. SLAY.

-I LOVE that Ragatha loves horror and Pomni HATES it.

-"Zooble turns straight" 10/10 line.

-2 new points of evidence for the NPC!Jax theory: He acknowledges the audience directly, and refuses to share what happens when he holds his breath. This could be shown as a similar clue to him not having a visible room on his enamel pin art.

-Caine made a scary adventure just to get zooble interesteddd 😭❤️

-Gangle's comedy mask can just be ripped off of her face??

-Ragatha's face, I love her

-Caine has a fundamental inability to understand other people's emotions and empathize. Neurodivergent coded king I love him

-Kinger says "I'm starting to think" when they first enter the scary room, and not only is it funny as hell, IT WAS ALSO FORESHADOWING?!

-Kinger is VERY aware of the game mechanics in the world around him

Oh how I love you, Pomni.

-I LOVE THE LITTLE 2D ANIMATED SECTION OF THE EYES

"You look beautiful honey.." KILLING MYSELF. AUGH. POOR BABY..

-"Any torture I inflict is 100% accidental! like any good war criminal!"

-Zooble's trans/dysphoria allegory with their digital body has my whole heart

THEY DID NOT DESERVE THIS.

"What you're saying could imply that I'm bad at.. they only thing I'm good at..." HE IS SO ME FR WHAT THE FUCK. I THINK I KIN HIM WHOOPSIES

-I think Mr. Mildenhall's story reflects kinger's more than we think.

-Living for Pomni and Kinger's father-daughter dynamic

She's hot.

Kinky! (looks like something Amy would do to him)

-THE POSSESSION SCENE WAS SO COOL?

-So he was hitting pomni! I remember a lot of debate about that.

-Kinger and Queenie were canonically married

-Kinger took 7 years of computer science

-Kinger has a SURPRISING amount of emotional intelligence.

-BEING IN THE DARK REMINDS OF HIM OF HIS LAST MOMENT WITH HIS WIFE I'M FUCKING CRYINGGG

-Kinger hated bugs, but now he loves them because they're a subconscious reminder of his entomology loving wife.

-The line "In this world, the worst thing you can do I make someone feel like they're not wanted or loved" paired with Mr. Mildenhall's story of mistaking his wife for the monster and killing her makes me think Kinger caused Queenie to abstract somehow.

"Don't worry about me. As long as you remember, things will be okay. You're very strong pomni." ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

Pomni canonically hates physical tough, but felt trusting and comfortable enough with Kinger to hold his hand.

Fucking sapphics

"FUCK-"

-Caine turning Zooble's therapy session into his own is so him omg

-"Welcome back my meowing milkmaids!" CRAZY.

-Kinger's new side wasn't actually all that surprising. Neither was him being the 'supportive dad' type. but i LOVE it

-KINGER VINYL FIGURE AHH NEED!!

This is my fave episode so far!! I love this show augh

[loveless-arobee]

Writing Loveless Characters

(Pt: Writing loveless characters)

Because I want to see more of them but non-loveless people often don’t have any idea where to start, or how to write them respectfully.

Loveless / heartless people are welcome to add their opinions! This is by no means a complete post, I'm just trying to give a starting point.

I’ll also discuss the decentering of love in stories a bit, even if there’s no explicitly loveless characters present. So if you’re interested in that, read on!

Definition

(Pt: Definition)

Let’s start with the simplest bit. What does it mean to be loveless (or heartless)?

Being loveless means not experiencing anything that could be described as love, feeling a disconnection from the entire concept of love, and/or it refers to the rejection of the idea that people need to experience love.

A lot of people who use the loveless/heartless labels are also neurodivergent and may feel a connection to this label because of that, but not all.

Being loveless can mean multiple things for one person, too. If you want to read more about the meaning of being loveless from a loveless person (me) you can read this post (link), or scroll a bit through the loveless aro and heartless aro tags.

What is love?

(Pt: What is love?)

Because we can’t go on without clearing up what this word actually means.

Love is just a label for an emotion. Nothing more. Love is not an action, actions are actions. Love is not a choice to care for some one, that is simply the choice to care for someone. This choice can be made completely without love, for example out of compassion, or because of a feeling of responsibility.

So, in short, "love" is just a label that a lot of people have decided to use for a specific emotion, and that label might not fit everyone.

Building a character

(Pt: Building a character)

For this, I can’t give a 100% conclusive answer, obviously, because all loveless people are different. Here’s just some things to keep in mind:

To respectfully write a loveless character, you should just throw out the idea that feeling love is necessary to be a good human, to care for other people or animals, or that not feeling love makes one immediately an asshole who doesn’t care for other people’s feelings.

Being loveless, in and off itself, says nothing about how a person acts. It only means that they don’t experience love (or any other part of the definitions above).

Things to avoid:

I can only think of two things you should definitely avoid doing, and that is connection lovelessness to being evil in any way, shape, or form. Also, avoid making your loveless character non-human if the rest of you cast is human (if all your characters are fantasy-races, that’s fine, probably just have a character, even just a minor one, of that same race who isn’t loveless, just to show that this isn’t a trait of this species that differentiates them from others, or make that very clear in the narrative.)

Yes, your loveless character can be evil, or morally complex, but you shouldn’t explain their villainy with them being loveless.

Yes, your loveless character can be emotionally distant, cold, or un-empathetic. Those words mostly describe me in some way. But again, you should decouple all of those things from being evil. Empathy doesn’t make a good human, and not experiencing empathy doesn’t make a bad person. Same with having shallow emotions.

But with all of this, you should still think about why you want to write them in this way. For example, do you want to write a loveless character with low empathy because you want to represent people like me, who are neurodivergent and don’t experience much empathy, and are also loveless? Or do you want to write them because those are things that make them more unlikable, or show their villainy?

Do you want them to experience shallow emotions to represent people who feel that way, or to explain away their lovelessness with "no normal person would feel this way"?

Do you want to write a loveless villain because it makes them more complex, and allows you to explore their emotions to a deeper level, or because you equate not feeling love with being evil and being evil with not feeling love?

Because there’s a very big difference, and your intentions matter a lot here, because the way you think about your character influences the way you write them.

Things I’d like to see / ideas to include

Besides "really, any loveless person who isn’t demonised" ofc.

- characters being open about not experiencing love, and not being judged or "fixed" for it.

- The narrative not treating lovelessness as a bad thing, and other characters just simply respecting their boundaries.

- A character with boundaries around the word love in general, doesn’t have to be loveless, and them being respected. Some people just don’t like hearing "I love you"s all the time.

- Just generally decentering love from the narrative (see more below)

- ND loveless people who fit the "bad stereotypes", turning them on their head (like me, hi.)

- not repeating respectability politics ("I might not feel love but I still care for people, I’m just like you!") This is not to say that loveless people don’t care for other people, just that it shouldn’t be shoe-horned in as a way of "showing that they’re still a good human being, despite not feeling love". They can just care for other people normally, without making it seem like something special or strange because they don’t feel love.

Questions to ask

To get a better understanding of your character:

- Why does this character identify as loveless, or could be identified as loveless? What does it mean to them, personally?

- How does being loveless affect their relationships?

- How does being loveless affect their view of the world, and other people?

- How important is their lovelessness to them? Is it something they’re proud of and show openly, or just something that’s a part of them that comes up when it gets important, but is otherwise just "background noise" for them?

- How do they feel about being the "target" of different kinds of love? Does love in general make them uncomfortable, just specific kinds, or do they not mind other people’s feelings towards them?

- Adding to the point above: Do the other characters respect their boundaries? If not, why? Does it add something important to the story?

That’s the most important points I can think of rn.

Decentering love

(Pt: decentering love)

Even if you don’t have a specific loveless character, this can still be done and often times make for some more interesting stories and characters that mostly haven’t been told before.

What do I mean by that?

Well, first off all, almost everything in most modern books is about love, contains love, or centers love in some way. There’s barely any new books coming out that don’t put the main characters in romantic relationships, even if they’re not in the romance genre, and if they don’t, these books are usually about the importance of platonic (or familial) love instead.

Im not saying these books shouldn’t exist. What I mean is that not everything has to center around love when there’s so many more emotions and experiences that could be written about, but instead we have millions of books that basically have the moral "You’re only worthy of humanity in the context of you relationships to other people, your only importance comes from finding people who love you / who you love, or character finds happiness through love (either their ~one true romantic love~ or platonic love)", because they obviously couldn’t learn to be happy with themselves, or that they didn’t need to center other people in their life constantly, or that they can be a complete and happy human on their own, too.

People can exist without basing their whole self worth on other people’s emotions towards them, and their emotions to other people.

To decenter love, you need to take the concepts, and ask "Why?" Why does this character need to be taught to accept themselves by falling in love? Why does this character need love to be happy, why can’t they just be happy as they are? Why should not loving make their life miserable, and why is the only way to fix it to find love, possibly even change themselves to finally be accepted by other people, instead of accepting themselves as they are, and finding community, if that’s important to them, as that?

You can even write about human connection without centering love, or about love without centering it, and portraying love as this universal, perfect good thing that makes us human and that everyone experiences. That is completely possible!

It can be just simply making sure that the narrative makes clear that this is these characters experience, and not a universal one. That there’s people who don’t feel this way. People who don’t love, don’t need love, and feel happy as they are, without relying on other people to make them happy.

Decentering love can also be about finding other ways to explore human connection. Relationship that are deep and emotional, but the characters don’t use the word love do define it; characters who are looking for community, for support, and giving community and support to others even if they don’t love them, maybe just because it’s the right thing to do, or because it’s the way they’d want to be treated, or because they have a deep seated care for humanity as a whole that they don’t describe as love.

There’s so many more emotions, so many more types of relationships, that deserve to be explored. Don’t limit yourself to just love and romance, or just (queer)platonic relationships as an aspec writer. You can write about sexual relationships, or about completely non-typical relationships that don’t really have a good term to describe them.

Write about relationships based on compassion, on sexual attraction, on mutual interest in the same topic, on what ever other emotion you can think off. I’ve once read a fantasy book where two off the main characters were different species, and mostly interested in each other to find out more about these species, and that was interesting; wonderfully written and it’d be awesome to have something that focussed on such an absolutely non-normative bond.

Don’t limit yourself to just "love", to just what society has put on a pedestal as the best and solely most important thing that connects everything and everyone. Think of all the other things that exist. Be creative.

Have fun creating!

(pt: Have fun creating!)

If you have any questions, feel free to ask me.

Thank you for reading this. Have a good day, and happy writing!

[pompadourpink]

It's a new beginning!

Hello children,

September is coming, school too for some of you - often a great moment for a bit of decluttering and a few new good resolutions. Here am I, offering myself as one of them!

As you hopefully know, I started this blog in 2016 and have been a private tutor since the beginning of the pandemic. I have room at the moment for several new students, so here is what I offer:

Classes, obviously - the typical schedule is one hour a week, sometimes one and a half, or one every two weeks, or two every two weeks; typically same day same time (I'm always happy to make adjustments if you work shifts)

Homework, if you can make the time for it. I typically prefer it to be finished by the middle of the week so that I have time to take a look and correct it, giving you the opportunity to give it a second try before class!

Depending on your preferences, either just a few activities so we can take our time, especially if you are a beginner, or something a bit more dynamic consisting in five to ten minute long activities to keep you motivated and alert (which seems to be a crowd's favourite as most of my students are neurodivergent).

Talking activities are typically answering series of questions I share from my Notion, talking about your week, summarising a book or a movie, making me guess a word or a person, or a concept I call "alien talk" where you explain something (like a vaccine or insurance) from scratch to a little red man.

Writing activities are often fictional (I have students create a little character on a website and we write an update about their life regularly), they can also be an overview of your month, a letter to quit your horrible job or convince Snoop Dog to marry you because you are a gold digger.

Transcribing activities, especially at the beginning, are either me reading very easy sentences so you can write them down and memorise the way things sound, then it's episodes from young children's shows, extracts from very famous movies, then we hit harder and turn to gameshows or podcasts.

Translating activities, from one language to another, are a written translation of the first page of a novel (I did the Secret History recently), or a newspapers article (we are working on this one at the moment); or an oral translation of songs lyrics, fairytales, children's books, muted captioned playthroughs of your favourite games on Youtube, etc.

Finally, a few games: silly quizzes, crosswords, Wordle and even Quordle, hangman, and sometimes we even sing if you're comfortable with that.

Here is the link of my website where you will find reviews and a list of what to send me to get the process started. A few things to know:

I try to make the activities fit your preferences: get me a list of what you like and that is what we will work on. If your first language is not English, I am happy to include it, I'm always eager to learn (I've been reviewing my Spanish this way!)

I work without cameras. I don't need to see your face, I just need a voice and a good Internet connection. All students are welcome, no matter if you have an accent, a stutter, or disabilities. Do not be afraid of being judged, there is none of that here.

I ask for your contact information to be able to do my billing, no one else sees it and no one will know if you give me the address of a building in your area if you feel more comfortable this way. If you prefer to have a lesson first and decide that you want to continue before sending me your info, that's also an option.

I have a student and a regular rate, depending on what you can afford, and we can make different arrangements if your country's rate makes it too difficult, I've done it before.

Please comment if you have a question!

Much love,

Rose

[meetmypointlessaddiction]

Rescuing Ellie: Part One

This is the first chapter of a new series I'm hoping to start in which Ellie is fostered and then eventually adopted by the Miller family. I can't promise when updates will be but I'm hoping it won't be too long until the next one is posted, enjoy!

Warnings: mentions of trauma, Joel and Sarah being too cute, Ellie possibly being neurodivergent is touched on slightly, childhood trauma, I think that's everything, Sarah calls reader 'mom'

Words: 1,9k

Prompt: You, Joel and Sarah and made aware of Ellie’s existence as your little family prepares to add one more

Joel was pacing around the living room, Sarah sitting on the couch with a book in hand sharing a smirk with you. “Dad! Sit down. If they walk in and see you pacing like a mad man they’re gonna turn the opposite way. Relax.” Sarah told him sternly and he nodded, making you laugh. Sarah had always been able to make him do as he was told. 

“Is the bathroom clean? Did we vacuum the kitchen?” 

“Joel, baby. I love you but please shut the hell up. Everything is clean, everything is tidy but the house still looks homely and welcoming, ok? The social worker would be stupid to think that our home wasn’t good enough to bring another child into.” You said to him and he nodded, taking a seat next to Sarah and letting his arm extend around the back of the couch as she leant on his shoulder. 

“What book are you reading kiddo?” He asked and she smiled. 

“To Kill a Mockingbird. Miss Garcia recommended it so mom took me to get it from the library on Friday.” She explained and Joel shot you a small smile.

Sarah wasn’t your biological child but that never stopped the three of you from acting like a true family. You had met Joel in a bar when Sarah was just 4 and, after a few dates, you finally got to meet his little girl and the pair of you were on your honeymoon a year later. Giving birth had never been something you had wanted to do, stories from friends and family completely putting you off the idea, but Sarah was desperate for a sibling and you knew, deep down, that Joel would love to have another kid in the house.

A knock on the door had Joel shooting to his feet, almost falling into the table, as he walked to the door to let the woman. “Mr and Mrs Miller, it’s good to see you again. And I take it this is the Sarah I got to know so much about?” She asked with a cheeky smile and Sarah laughed. 

“Yeah my dad can get carried away with his bragging.” She said and Joel blushed, you squeezing his hand before he stepped aside to let the woman in. 

“Well, I’m sure you're aware of why I’m here. I’m Courtney, the social worker who’s been asked to come and have a look around, make sure everything is up to scratch and walk you through the next few steps.” She clarified and the three of you nodded, Joel gesturing for her to take a seat and then taking his seat back next to Sarah who was laying her book on the coffee table. 

“To Kill a Mockingbird? You like reading?” Courtney asked Sarah who nodded quickly. 

“I was always read bedtime stories from dad or my uncle Tommy when he lived with us and then mom would help me read the harder books because those too are hopeless when it comes to words with more than three syllables.” She teased and Courtney laughed while Joel looked at Sarah with faux offence while you snorted into your hand. 

“Well I can already tell that the three of you have a lovely dynamic going on. We’ve already discussed that it is your intention to foster a child and then adopt once the child is settled, correct?” She asked and Joel nodded. 

“We don’t think it’s fair for a kid to get used to living with us and then we just change our routine once another kid comes along, you know?” You said and she nodded. 

“Well, would you be able to show me around?” She asked and you nodded, Sarah opting to stay seated while you and Joel led her around your home. 

“That room at the back is mine and Joel’s, Sarah’s is on the left and then the room on the right is obviously the spare room. We’ve left it pretty plain so that we can decorate it to their tastes but the room design is their choice.” You explained and she nodded. 

“And you said you have two bathrooms?” She asked and Joel nodded. 

“There’s the ensuite in the master bedroom and then the bathroom on your left is the bathroom that Sarah uses.” Joel told her and she nodded with a bright smile. 

“It seems you’re all quite prepared for a new arrival. I believe there is someone in our system who would benefit greatly from being included in your family. If you’d like, I can set up a meeting for the pair of you to meet her and then another a few days later where you can bring Sarah along so the girls can get to know each other a little bit?” Courtney suggested and you and Joel both nodded quickly. 

“That’d be great.” 

“If we go and take a seat, I can go over some of her details and we’ll see what you think.” 

Sitting back on the couch, Courtney pulled out a folder and Sarah peeked over the book. “Someone that eager to come live with us?” She asked and Joel rolled his eyes, nudging her slightly. 

“Not when they find out you’re here.” He teased and she scoffed. 

“Your old man grunts when you get up off the couch would be enough to scare anyone away. Surprised mom didn’t escape when she could.” She threw back at him and you looked to both of them. 

“That’s enough with the pair of you, let’s listen to what Courtney can tell us about the girl ok?” You said and they both nodded, Joel smiling gently at you. 

“So, her name’s Ellie, she’s 10 and she’s pretty mature for her age. Became independent at a young age and is generally intelligent if that’s something that interests you. She does have slight trauma which can cause occasional nightmares and she can be generally nervous around new people but is fiercely protective once she gets to know someone.” Courtney said and Joel sat up straighter. 

“Sarah, you wanna go to your room for a little honey? We’ll call you back in once we go over some of the finer details?” He asked her and she nodded, collecting her book from the table and heading to her room. You looked at him confused and he cleared his throat. 

“When you say trauma, are we allowed to know what that trauma is?” He asked and you looked at him shocked. Was this going to be a dealbreaker for him? “Woah no not because of anything bad. I just meant would there be anything that we could do to make the transition a little easier. Like is it better to have her meet us one at a time or maybe Sarah first or-.” You breathed a sigh of relief as he explained himself. “Kids have trauma, it doesn’t put me off fostering her just because she’s had a shitty past. I just don’t want her to feel like she has to feel a certain way once she joins us, you know?” He said more to you than to Courtney and you nodded. 

“It’s probably better that she meets the pir of you first. Ellie’s mother died during childbirth and no one knew who her father was which meant that she was placed straight into foster care. She’s had some really bad experiences with foster homes which is why we are extremely careful of who we place her with. She struggles with men quite a lot which is why we always ensure that there are more women than men in whichever home she goes to. The best thing you can do for her is to just be yourselves. She has an extremely good judge of character so she’ll see straight through whatever facade you try to put up.” Courtney encouraged and you and Joel nodded, you watching as your husband took in all the information he could. 

“The only other guy that’s ever really here is my brother but most of the time his wife and son are with him. Would that be ok once she gets settled?” He asked and Courtney nodded. 

“As much normalcy as possible will help her settle. She doesn’t like to be a burden so feeling like your routine is being changed for her will make her feel awkward. We’ve had many fosters change their mind with Ellie due to some of her personality traits.” Courtney revealed and you frowned. 

“Personality traits? What do you mean?” You asked and she frowned slightly. 

“Many of the fosters believe that Ellie may be neurodivergent which could lead to some of her other traits such as her short temper and her objections to certain food textures or smells. She also struggles to divert from certain routines and some families found that hard to adjust to and it was making Ellie restless. It should also be noted that Ellie isn’t the ‘typical girl’ that a lot of families are searching for. She has very strong tastes in the clothes she wears and how she is viewed and will refuse to cooperate if it goes against what she wants.”

“We don’t expect her to stick to any kind of mould. As long as she’s her own person we don’t care.” Joel said and you nodded. “Would she be interested in any kind of sports? Sarah plays soccer so maybe signing her up for that would be a good idea?” He asked and Courtney shook her head with a smile. 

“Ellie is quite small for her age so she gets pushed around a lot whenever it comes down to sports or physical activity. Her favourite hobbies are music and drawing but I’m sure she’ll tell you all about that once you get to meet her. Once you find a topic she enjoys, the girl can talk for hours.” She said and Joel’s eyes lit up, your husband’s love for music shining through and Courtney seemed to notice. 

“Well, I can see you’re clearly excited to meet her so I’ll let you guys talk it over and once I’ve spoken to Ellie I’ll email with a date for you to come down to the home and meet her if that’s everything you had to ask.” You both shook your heads and Joel called for Sarah who bid goodbye to Courtney and then the three of you flopped onto the couch, Joel’s head dropping into Sarah’s lap as she shot him a stink eye for interrupting her reading. 

“Well that seemed to be a success. I can’t wait to meet her.” Joel said and you chuckled, Sarah just resting her book on his face and continuing to read.

“I say we order pizza to celebrate.” You suggested and Sarah cheered while Joel grumbled. 

“I hope it’s your money that’s paying for it.” He said and you and Sarah both burst into laughter. 

“Of course not. Don’t you wanna provide for your girls my manly husband. Inn’t that what all you Texas men are built for?” You teased and he scoffed, laughing as you kissed his cheek. 

“Make sure to order a ham and pineapple for the monster bookworm.” He told you and you nodded. 

“If anybody’s order was going to be forgotten it’d be yours dad. Just accept that mom loves me more.” Sarah said, prodding his cheek and you smiled. 

“What is it you want Joel?” You asked sweetly and grunted. 

“All I ever want is cheese and it’s always forgotten.” 

“Shut up you giant man baby.” You pushed his face into the couch cushion and he pouted. 

“Thought I was your manly husband?” He asked with a slight smirk showing on his face until Sarah hit him with her book.

“Stop flirting with my mom. You’re ruining my appetite.”

[aspd-culture]

Welcome back. You’re very informative.

I’m very confused about how numerous people, from you, to other antisocial people speaking from their experiences (some of which I learned are actually friends) to prosocial researchers of ASPD say that antisocial people see relationships as transactional. It’s not weird that you guys see it that way, it’s more like “and prosocials… don’t???” Because I’m certain I’m prosocial. I’m neurodivergent, sure, but no signs of ASPD. So, how do most prosocial people typically view relationships if they’re not transactional?

So I find prosocials and pwASPD both tend to think “but doesn’t everybody” when we hear this - it’s a super undescriptive term - but we’re thinking different things define something as transactional. We also see the reason for that transaction to be different.

From a prosocial generally, they’ll mean “I only want to be around people that ‘don’t drain my energy’, that don’t just take take take, that we mutually enjoy the friendship/relationship and want to be around each other”. That’s kinda their definition of getting something out of it, and they want everyone to get something out of it. If they’re draining you, they want you to be free of it so you can be happy, and the transactions involved can be purely emotional/vibes. The reason they feel this way is a desire for positive and enjoyable social connection; the consequence for an uneven/bad/missing transaction is discomfort and wasting their time in negative experiences and generally feeling bad in association with that person.

PwASPD see those transactions very very literally. There’s no vibes nor emotions in the transactions, those are either a reaction to the transaction or a bonus. We mean that we are getting something tangible or practical out of it. Rides, help with things we can’t or don’t want to do alone, sex, maybe even the social relief from the annoyance of “why don’t you ever talk to anyone?” coming from all sides. We also don’t always care if it’s even on the other person’s end. If they’re ok driving me everywhere/if they do it and don’t say or show they’re uncomfortable, then I will assume they are fine with that piece of the transaction. If I’m taking more than I’m giving and they seem chill with that then I’ll accept it. However, I won’t give them *nothing* and that’s because of our reason for transactions - it’s dangerous otherwise. First off, I have shit I need I can’t get myself as much as it sucks, so I need to be around people. But if we need something from them, what we learned in our childhoods is that we don’t get that for free. There’s always something over your head. A lot of pwASPD had friends or caregivers that would hold favors or even *basic, legally-mandated caregiving* over our heads as though we didn’t deserve it. Often our value was determined as a child by what we provided, and since children can’t provide much, we were worthless and not deserving of good treatment.

This is part of the reason (TW non-descriptive CSA mention, skip to the next paragraph if you want) that people thought ASPD was directly correlated with CSA for a long time - many cases of long term CSA come from either “I’ll give you x/do x for you if you help me with this” or worse, doing something first then saying “but I gave you X!/did X for you! I wouldn’t have if I knew you’d act like this”, often call us selfish if we tried to say no and maybe get aggressive or forceful after, and that is an easy lead-in to our view of interactions.

So a lot of us see it that if we want to be safe/know we can continue to get what we need, we HAVE to be giving them something. If you claim you like being around me “just to be around me” or worse that you’re willing to do something for me “just because I want to”, that’s not safe. You want something from me and I’ll give it to you - just tell me what it is. If you’re not telling me, that means it’s not good or you’re just gonna decide later that I’m selfish. You might hurt me to get what you want and justify it with this. Take something from my side so we’re even, because even means safe. Even means I get access to what I need and you get access to what you need - so now we’re both using this relationship/friendship/etc for something and you wouldn’t wanna mess that up by putting me in danger any more than I’d want to mess it up by putting you in danger.

Of course, not every prosocial sees it the first way and not every pwASPD had those experiences and/or sees it that way. But that’s what I’ve found to be common. If you see “they make me happy” as what your or their end of the transaction is, it’s definitely a prosocial response, maybe with the exception of thinking of it as “getting their brain to dopamine/oxytocin” vs caring how they’re actually feeling. If not, if you need it to be practical, that’s definitely transactional.

It’s important to note this is personal relationships with no practical consequences to ending the relationship - most people see relationships (platonic) with coworkers or managers as transactional and that’s a way I usually explain it to prosocials (“do you deal with your boss bc you like them or bc they sign your check - and would your boss keep you hired if you didn’t do your job because you make them happy just by being there?”). But with a romantic or sexual partner, a friend, etc. this is not a typical view of relationships.

That said - you can *absolutely* not have ASPD and have transactional view of relationships. It’s not a 1:1 thing there; not everyone with ASPD has it and not every prosocial doesn’t. It’s just a really common piece of the puzzle that is this personality disorder.

Edit: ack I’m so sorry I forgot to add the csa tw tags they’re there now.

Plain text below the cut:

So I find prosocials and pwASPD both tend to think “but doesn’t everybody” when we hear this - it’s a super undescriptive term - but we’re thinking different things define something as transactional. We also see the reason for that transaction to be different.

From a prosocial generally, they’ll mean “I only want to be around people that ‘don’t drain my energy’, that don’t just take take take, that we mutually enjoy the friendship/relationship and want to be around each other”. That’s kinda their definition of getting something out of it, and they want everyone to get something out of it. If they’re draining you, they want you to be free of it so you can be happy, and the transactions involved can be purely emotional/vibes. The reason they feel this way is a desire for positive and enjoyable social connection; the consequence for an uneven/bad/missing transaction is discomfort and wasting their time in negative experiences and generally feeling bad in association with that person.

PwASPD see those transactions very very literally. There’s no vibes nor emotions in the transactions, those are either a reaction to the transaction or a bonus. We mean that we are getting something tangible or practical out of it. Rides, help with things we can’t or don’t want to do alone, sex, maybe even the social relief from the annoyance of “why don’t you ever talk to anyone?” coming from all sides. We also don’t always care if it’s even on the other person’s end. If they’re ok driving me everywhere/if they do it and don’t say or show they’re uncomfortable, then I will assume they are fine with that piece of the transaction. If I’m taking more than I’m giving and they seem chill with that then I’ll accept it. However, I won’t give them *nothing* and that’s because of our reason for transactions - it’s dangerous otherwise. First off, I have shit I need I can’t get myself as much as it sucks, so I need to be around people. But if we need something from them, what we learned in our childhoods is that we don’t get that for free. There’s always something over your head. A lot of pwASPD had friends or caregivers that would hold favors or even *basic, legally-mandated caregiving* over our heads as though we didn’t deserve it. Often our value was determined as a child by what we provided, and since children can’t provide much, we were worthless and not deserving of good treatment.

This is part of the reason (TW non-descriptive CSA mention, skip to the next paragraph if you want) that people thought ASPD was directly correlated with CSA for a long time - many cases of long term CSA come from either “I’ll give you x/do x for you if you help me with this” or worse, doing something first then saying “but I gave you X!/did X for you! I wouldn’t have if I knew you’d act like this”, often call us selfish if we tried to say no and maybe get aggressive or forceful after, and that is an easy lead-in to our view of interactions.

So a lot of us see it that if we want to be safe/know we can continue to get what we need, we HAVE to be giving them something. If you claim you like being around me “just to be around me” or worse that you’re willing to do something for me “just because I want to”, that’s not safe. You want something from me and I’ll give it to you - just tell me what it is. If you’re not telling me, that means it’s not good or you’re just gonna decide later that I’m selfish. You might hurt me to get what you want and justify it with this. Take something from my side so we’re even, because even means safe. Even means I get access to what I need and you get access to what you need - so now we’re both using this relationship/friendship/etc for something and you wouldn’t wanna mess that up by putting me in danger any more than I’d want to mess it up by putting you in danger.

Of course, not every prosocial sees it the first way and not every pwASPD had those experiences and/or sees it that way. But that’s what I’ve found to be common. If you see “they make me happy” as what your or their end of the transaction is, it’s definitely a prosocial response, maybe with the exception of thinking of it as “getting their brain to dopamine/oxytocin” vs caring how they’re actually feeling. If not, if you need it to be practical, that’s definitely transactional.

It’s important to note this is personal relationships with no practical consequences to ending the relationship - most people see relationships (platonic) with coworkers or managers as transactional and that’s a way I usually explain it to prosocials (“do you deal with your boss bc you like them or bc they sign your check - and would your boss keep you hired if you didn’t do your job because you make them happy just by being there?”). But with a romantic or sexual partner, a friend, etc. this is not a typical view of relationships.

That said - you can *absolutely* not have ASPD and have transactional view of relationships. It’s not a 1:1 thing there; not everyone with ASPD has it and not every prosocial doesn’t. It’s just a really common piece of the puzzle that is this personality disorder.

Edit: ack I’m so sorry I forgot to add the csa tw tags they’re there now.

[voidpacifist]

things I loved about season four of sex ed (spoilers ahead)

the amount of representation present this season. the disability rep, the queer and trans rep, how not shy the writers were confronting different trans and disability rights issues head on.

eric's arc with his religion and his gayness and how he was able to reconcile the two. this one really hit home for me as someone who is both queer and a person of faith. I love getting to see gayness have a place within faith, it just healed something for me, okay?

otis was so classically otis but he finally (FINALLY) acknowledged his own idiosyncrasies without just writing them off as being the fault of wounds in his life. by the end of ep 8 he was dedicated to making things better for himself and for other people and I'm actually so proud of him for that.

aimee's journey with healing from her SA trauma and how she navigated a new relationship with that. also I know it probably wasn't intentional but she's a very autistic coded character to me and watching her flourish as herself with isaac just did something so special to my heart. I would level cities for her.

and adam too!! him finally getting the closure he needed with eric and them communicating !!!! the scene at erin wiley's funeral when eric is able to tell adam how genuinely proud of him he is, just,,,my heart I love it when people get to heal !! also again with the unintentional neurodivergent rep, like come on - sitting undiagnosed by yourself, handsome? he's just like me fr.

I was worried the writers wouldn't do isaac's character justice, even though he was given a good arc in season three I was still anxious about where they would take it now that maeve was overseas and honestly, they didn't give him very much of a story outside of his history and who he was when he was with maeve. similar to aimee with him, I really liked watching more of his artistic traits pop out and I loved seeing him have a healthy friendship with someone. even better, I love it when the feelings he harbored for that person were mutual with no strings attached. I wasn't expecting him and aimee to be endgame but I'm absolutely not disappointed about it (you can tell he's my fav because I've written the longest paragraph about him so far).

cal and aisha and pk. need I say anything more? my only gripe is that I wish we could have had a glimpse of the three of them on a date or even see if there were other people in the polycule but that's okay !! I also just really loved cal's journey with themself and I loved getting to see them supported for their identity it meant so very much to me.

lastly but certainly not the least, I loved that otis and o ended on mutually agreeable terms with each other, it just really added to the whole theme of trying to heal and open new doors and be okay with things not being in control all the time. it was especially touching that he gave his position as therapist to her because he knew and acknowledged he had work to do on himself like !!! very rare otis w but totally welcomed. had the show continued I would have loved to see more development w him.

[stellar-mop]

The Coffin of Andy and Leyley has me thinking about gender and gender roles a lot. I know other people have done more in-depth analysis of this, but I'm just gonna throw my thoughts out into the void of tumblr (the void is welcome to yell back, just be nice please)

I think one of the things that makes these characters fascinating especially for me as a vaguely-agender nonbinary person is like the places I can see where their gender is impacting their interactions and choices. Like changing the gender of the characters would fundamentally change their story and personality (love y'all's genderswap AUs tho, this is not an objection).

Something I'm not sure how to articulate super well is how the game interacts with like neurodivergence gender stereotypes. On the surface level they line up with the "women are emotional and men aren't allowed to show feelings" set of gender stereotypes. But I think there's another layer if you look at it through the lens of how societal pressures around mental illness and gender intersect especially in like school-aged kids/teens. Like Andrew being the "easy child" and Ashley being... Ashley. In not-particularly-nuanced terms: "boy" neurodivergence shows as acting out and being a problem child (which Ashley does), and "girl" neurodivergence gets hidden via masking and passivity (which Andrew does). I think it's neat that this is contrary to societal expectations - like this would be a very different story if Andrew was a pushy chaotic mess and Ashley was apathetic but seething under the surface. Because gender! What's even up with that?

Less sfw thoughts under the cut, including some coffincest stuff. Warnings for unhealthy relationships and attitudes towards sex:

The way Ashley and the mom talk about sex is fascinating. I've read some really good analyses on here about Ashley thinking about sex as transactional and I think she gets that from her mom. In that one scene ("you fuck her") the mom asks Andrew something like "what does she give you to make it worth it?" Like, the only reason she can think of for why Andrew wants to spend time with Ashley is sex. That says a lot about the mom as a person (also wow she really does see zero value in Ashley as a person wtf), and probably the way Ashley was raised to think about sex. And that's a very gendered (like cishet women specifically) view of sex. Like sex in a relationship as something to be tolerated, and for Ashley "another way to keep him around".

But I'm also wondering about the flip side of that, like is the mom only tolerating the dad for sex? Because I don't really get the impression that she likes him very much, but they textually have a very active sex life. If so, this is also sort of counter to societal gender roles/expectations. I really don't like the parents but they're such fascinating characters too.

I guess my point with all this is like we got distracted by the cannibalism and murder and incest and demon summoning, but there's some really neat and subtle stuff about gender in here that I want to talk about too! It's just so well written there's so much depth

*slaps roof of game* this bad boy can fit so much dysfunction!

[songofapollon]

Χαίρετε, worshippers and devotees of Apollon!

Welcome to the shrine of Apollon! This is a community shrine, meaning it’s a shrine for many of us to share, offer, and show our Love for Lord Apollon.

The Shrine is a safe space for everyone. By that, I mean any queer people, BIPOC, nonhumans, systems, those who are disabled, neurodivergent, mentally ill, and anyone else who does not wish harm on others. There is ZERO tolerance for racism, ableism, queerphobia of any kind (homophobia, transphobia, etc), or any other kind of hate. The person who runs this blog has signed the xenia declaration.

This is also a place where you may ask any questions you have or request posts you would like to see. That being said, asks or requests that make me uncomfortable or I simply do not want to answer will be deleted.

What Will Be Posted?

I’m not sure how often posts will be, but I would like to try and post at least twice a week, preferably more.

Posts may be information about Lord Apollon or His many aspects, artwork depicting Him, answering asks, prayers or hymns, occasional readings from Him, etc. I haven’t completely thought all of that out yet.

Guidelines

• The biggest one- Be respectful. Everyone worships differently, everyone believes different things, everyone has different experiences. Please always be respectful to others.

• This is a safe space for all - as well as all those I mentioned above, this space also welcomes minors (who are old enough to be on this app, of course). In addition, I, the person who runs this blog, am a minor. So please, please keep everything sfw and kind.

• Do your research. It's okay to be wrong or to not know something, but learn from that.

Additionally, I will try to list my sources in informational posts, and I always encourage you to fact-check me, please don't blindly trust information from a random Tumblr post, as much as I hope my information is true.

• Use common sense and kindness. Always think before you say something, be kind when speaking to someone else. Don't do something you wouldn't do in real life.

Who Runs the Shrine?

Hello there! I'm Aspyn and I run this shrine to Apollon. I am trans, queer, and aroace. My pronouns change a lot but He/Him and It/Its reliably fit me. I am a devotee of Lady Aphrodite, Lord Apollon, and Lord Hypnos.

I AM A MINOR. IF YOU DONT WANT TO INTERACT WITH MINORS DONT FOLLOW.

I am NOT an expert on any of this, nor am I any sort of authority. Please don’t hold me to that standard, I never want to seem like I think I’m better than anyone else.

Tags

The Song of Apollon - Any original post on this blog

Shrine Songs - Original informational textposts

The Shrine Inquires - Community Questions or Polls

Sharing Songs - reblogs

[beautyofaphrodite]

Χαίρετε and welcome to the Shrine of Aphrodite!

*Χαίρετε (Khairete) means hello (plural, as in to a group) in Greek, to my understanding. I do not speak Greek, but I am learning, so please let me know if the meaning is wrong.

This is a place to honor and worship Lady Aphrodite, goddess of love, beauty, war, and more. The Shrine is a communal shrine, meaning it’s a shrine for many of us to share, offer, and show our Love for Lady Aphrodite.

The Shrine is a safe space for everyone. By that, I mean any queer people, BIPOC, nonhumans, systems, those who are disabled, neurodivergent, mentally ill, and anyone else who does not wish harm on others. There is ZERO tolerance for racism, ableism, queerphobia of any kind (homophobia, transphobia, etc), or any other kind of hate. The person who runs this blog has signed the xenia declaration.

This is also a place where you may ask any questions you have or request posts you would like to see. That being said, asks or requests that make me uncomfortable or I simply do not want to answer will be deleted.

Our lovely logo was made by the wonderful @hyakinthou-naos

What is Posted?

Informational posts about Lady Aphrodite or Hellenic Polytheism in general

Information about Her epithets, aspects, and associations

Prayers and Hymns

Collages related to Her

My personal experiences

Community Questions and Polls

Monthly Tarot with Lady Aphrodite

Etc

Guidelines

The biggest one- Be respectful. Everyone worships differently, everyone believes different things, everyone has different experiences. Please always be respectful to others.

This is a safe space for all - as well as all those I mentioned above, this space also welcomes minors (who are old enough to be on this app, of course). In addition, I, the person who runs this blog, am a minor. So please, please keep everything sfw and kind.

Do your research. It’s okay to be wrong or to not know something, but learn from that. Additionally, I will try to list my sources in informational posts, and I always encourage you to fact-check me, please don’t blindly trust information from a random Tumblr post, as much as I hope my information is true.

Use common sense and kindness. Always think before you say something, be kind when speaking to someone else. Don’t do something you wouldn’t do in real life.

Who Runs the Shrine?

Hello there! I’m Aspyn and I run this shrine to Aphrodite. I’m relatively new to hellenic polytheism, but I have been worshipping Lady Aphrodite for a few years and have believed in the gods for about half my life, even though I didn’t know worshipping them was a thing you could do.

I am trans, queer, and aroace. My pronouns change a lot but He/Him and It/Its reliably fit me.

I am a devotee of Lady Aphrodite, Lord Apollon, and Lord Hypnos, though I regularly worship many other deities.

Tags

beautyofaphrodite shrine: any original posts

beautyofaphrodite asks: community questions or polls

beautyofaphrodite answers: answered asks or requests

beautyofaphrodite speaks: original textposts

beautyofaphrodite reblogs: reblogs

May the loving goddess Aphrodite watch over you and bless you with love of all kinds in your life.

[anemic-kazutora]

No one mourns the Wicked

If you like Kisaki, I automatically like you, just so you know.

I wanted to make a point about how, to me, it is obvious that his thinking isn't actually healthy, that there is something we are forced to overlook because of the narrative that makes Kisaki's reasoning about Hina make sense in his own head. By this I mean that there is no way someone as smart as Kisaki would pursue the plan he concocted if not for the need to desperately fight against something, which, I argue, would be loneliness, and the feeling of worthlessness that comes when you realize that your efforts mean nothing if there is nobody to acknowledge them.

Kisaki liked Hina, she was his childhood crush, but also so much more than that, because she was the first kid to ever treat him nicely and not like he was some subhuman weirdo because of his aptitude in school. She was the only one who showed the willingness to accept and welcome an outcast like him, not in spite of his perceived weirdness, but because of it- and this is where I argue that Kisaki is most likely neurodivergent, whether one agrees or not. She's a lovely person, she is everything that is good (I love her very much).

It feels to me like Kisaki is a number of things: - a "gifted child"/"genius", the type that adults love and kids despise, the type that has no friends because of it, the type that decides their own worth based on their successes or failures because their talent is all they are and ever will be to anybody who meets them; - plagued by the need to fit in, be accepted and recognized without actually changing himself in ways that betray his core values/what he thinks makes Kisaki Tetta Kisaki Tetta (which is something that is, I think, shaky and hazy to himself also. He's his brain and his smarts, but what else...?); - convinced that he's inherently unlovable and worthless unless he has tangible proof of his own successes (which is why he confesses to Hina only after realizing his 10 year plan) while also thinking, constantly, somewhere in his brain, that he's above everyone, that he just needs to show them just what he can do, that he's so much more than any normal person could hope to be; - unable to see others' affection as anything but transactional (something he can earn like a medal, something he has to trade for); - unknowingly (to a degree) desperate for genuine human connection (which he finds in Hanma despite not realizing it, because he's 13-14, they are both too young and neither really realizes that death can happen to them, too, and that they probably never could make it clear that they genuinely did care for one another); - deeply lonely and envious of everyone who isn't and is naturally a people magnet (Takemichi, Mikey, for instance).

To me, he was simply a boy who wanted to prove that he could do something great just by himself and on his own terms, that he was enough as a person for others to look up to and acknowledge, that he was worthy of the same love Takemichi could effortlessly get, just by being his naively heroic self. But he got caught up in the idea that Kisaki Tetta was what everyone else told him he was: a weirdo one should stay away from. He made that his strength, he became exactly what they said he was, because his admiration for Takemichi turned sour when it became clear that his charisma meant there would be nothing left for him. He mentions that a gang leader needs to have the looks to be successful in the part. He has resigned himself to the spot of those who lack every quality he values (outside of his own smarts), but he never stopped hoping that he could stand where the others, the "good" ones, like Takemichi himself, stood. He wanted to be like him, and be liked like him. But he couldn't, because he wasn't Hanagaki Takemichi, he was only Kisaki Tetta.

The end of the manga proves that simply having a friend who understood him from the start would have allowed him to become the fulfilled person he was always meant to be, that he was never inherently evil. He was just suffering through what Takemichi describes as the most painful thing. He was alone.

He was alone and he died alone. At 14, on a February night, on the asphalt, alone, under the horrified gaze of someone who had just had the thought that he would have deserved to die, someone whom he looked up to, despite everything, who had just told him that now everyone knew what he was up to and that nobody would ever listen to him again. He died alone and the only friend he had was too far away, and came too late. He died alone and the only one who could truly miss Kisaki Tetta was Hanma himself, while Takemichi belatedly realized that it shouldn't have ended that way and that it still wasn't right, that Kisaki was just like him: weak and only powering through by sheer force of will. He died alone, and he was the only one who died thinking and saying that he didn't want to.

He never got to be graced with forgiveness like Kazutora and Izana. Nobody even tried to understand him, save for Hanma and Takemichi.

No one mourns the Wicked. Yes, goodness knows The Wicked's lives are lonely Goodness knows The Wicked cry alone Nothing grows for the wicked They reap only what they've sown.