#welcome our aranea!

[camandemstudios]

🎞️ Cam&Em Studios Presents...

Cam [ @highvern] and Em [ @gyuswhore] are proud to welcome you into the 2024 academic year with the Seventeen TA Collab! Take a look at our Course Options collated by your favourite writers, taught by your favourite members!

📆 Choose your Class Times and Professors below!

‼️Some classes contain NSFW content, remember to check the warnings on each lecture before registering!

register for classes so you don't miss out 📌 join the taglist with a visible age indicator on your blog!

🎓MSc Economics: Choi Seungcheol & TA!reader

📋Course Name: ex-conomics by @ugh-yoongi

📚Lecture Posted Here!

🖇️Course Overview: you supported seungcheol through years of being an aspiring athlete, and all you got to show for it was your undergraduate degree and an awkward, stuttered apology when he dumped you to go semi-pro. now he’s back after an injury derailed his career, and there’s only one problem: you’re the only one available to tutor him. you - 0; the universe - 1. talk about no return on investment.

🎓MSc Structural Engineering: Yoon Jeonghan & TA!reader

📋Course Name: building blocks by @the-boy-meets-evil

✂️ Course Outline 📚Lecture Posted Here!

🖇️Course Overview: agreeing to be the teaching assistant is the last thing you want in a semester where you're already swamped with work. but, you need a letter of recommendation from the professor and you're out of other options. enter jeonghan, the menace who signs up for the class seemingly on a whim and disrupts your entire routine.

🎓M.A. Spanish: TA!Joshua Hong x reader

📋Course Name: How to be a Latin Lover by @haologram

✂️ Course Outline📚Lecture Posted Here!

🖇️Course Overview: the dreadful semester has started — meaning your summer vacation has come to end, and so has your summer fling…or has it?

🎓MSc Human Anatomy: Wen Junhui & TA!reader

📋Course Name: pulse points by @wheeboo

📚Lecture Posted Here!

🖇️Course Overview: Being the TA for your anatomy class has always been really rewarding, especially stemming in your passion for the medical field. But as it’s approaching the peak of the school semester and labs have gotten more intense, you aren’t surprised to be dedicating your time to tutoring your strangely handsome, dorky, yet enigmatic classmate during after school hours — and reassuring him how to not be afraid of dissections.

🎓MSc Zoology: TA!Kwon Soonyoung x reader

📋Course Name: Araneae by @haologram

📚Lecture Posted Here!

🖇️Course Overview: when you realize your friend (with benefits) actually has feelings for you, a tangled web of lies and avoidance ensues.

🎓MSc Chemistry: TA!Jeon Wonwoo & TA!reader

📋Course Name: endpoint by @highvern

✂️Course Outline 📚Lecture Posted Here!

🖇️Course Overview: Senior year of college is meant to be full of celebration and smooth sailing. Years of work culminating in the final semesters that will send you off into the real world where clubs, sports, and weekends packed with hungover volunteering to pad your resume no longer mattered. It’d be a piece of cake if it wasn’t for your fuck buddy turned coworker having the same plan. But only one of you can get the department’s most coveted recommendation that all but guarantees your acceptance. Tension rises and the nearly four year thing you’ve had with Wonwoo approaches its endpoint.

🎓MA Classics: TA!Lee Jihoon x Reader

📋Course Name: Oh, Agony! by @cheolism

📚Lecture Posted Here!

🖇️Course Overview: when you both find out that your boyfriend, lee jihoon, will be the ta for your classic literature class, it is agreed your relationship will take a temporary pause . no public dates, no pda; and, most tragically, no sex. nothing that can give away the truth to your relationship. only, it really is easier said than done.

🎓MSc Astronomy and Astrophysics: TA!Lee Seokmin & TA!reader

📋Course Name: Do Stars Collapse Into Black Holes, or Fall Into Something Unknown? by @idyllic-ghost

📚Lecture Posted Here!

🖇️Course Overview: Starting your second year of your master’s degree in astrophysics, and your first year as a TA, you were stressed enough - but the universe knows no bounds for your suffering. Seokmin, your handsome and annoyingly smart classmate, just had to become your colleague. As if you weren’t hard on yourself already, Seokmin’s presence only proved to fuel your self-loathing. But does he hate you too, or do you need to open your eyes and come back down to Earth?

🎓MSc Psychological Research: TA!Kim Mingyu & reader

📋Course Name: Statistically Speaking... by @gyuswhore

✂️ Course Outline 📚Lecture Posted Here!

🖇️Course Overview: In all your years of academic endurance, you’ve never failed. A 100% success rate, despite you cutting it close at times. However, the line graph that is your life starts tanking somewhere around the time you began taking this hellsent Statistics in Psychological Research class. With a professor that wouldn’t know his ass from his head, and an overworked, overenthusiastic, and overcaptivating TA, it couldn't possibly get any worse than this. However, statistically speaking,…it could.

🎓MFA Studio Art: TA!Xu Minghao x TA!Reader

📋Course Name: Perspective by @tomodachiii

✂️ Course Outline 📚Lecture Posted Here!

🖇️Course Overview: Xu Minghao hates you. You've been sure of it ever since you met him. And when you find yourself working alongside him as a teaching assistant for your painting professor, you think you might hate him too. But one late night, two semesters, and three exhibits later, you find your perspective beginning to shift.

🎓MSc Creative Writing: Boo Seungkwan & TA!reader

📋Course Name: Put It In Writing by @bitchlessdino

✂️ Course Outline 📚Lecture Posted Here!

🖇️Course Overview: You keep things professional--as you should--even if one of your students is someone you hooked up with one night before the college semester started. Meanwhile, Boo Seungkwan is anything but honest--he's a writer after all--but if he is honest about one thing, it's about wanting to write a new story with you.

🎓MS Computer Science: TA!Chwe Hansol x TA!Reader

📋Course Name: love between the lines by @etherealyoungk

📚Lecture Posted Here!

🖇️Course Overview: despite the initial nerves of your new gig as an english literature TA, you’re ready to tackle the new job. that’s where you meet vernon, the computer science TA, and he’s interesting to say the least. he’s all about coding and numbers while you live and breathe poetry and novels. it’s clear that you both have contrasting interests and personalities - but they say opposites attract, right?

🎓MSc Mathematics: Lee Chan x TA!Reader

📋Course Name: rates of change by @wqnwoos

📚Lecture Posted Here!

🖇️Course Overview: Your first semester as TA throws your previously unassuming college life into disarray, fuelled almost entirely by the brown-eyed and charming student who’s slipping closer to failing with every lecture. And in return for your mathematical assistance, Lee Chan decides he’s going to set you up with the guy you’ve been persistently pining over for a year and a half. It’s a simple equation: you teach him calculus, and he’ll teach you how to flirt. Except, as you’re both quick to discover, mathematical equations don’t translate over to real life as easily as you’d expect.

[ctrlhope]

— Rest, Relax, Reserve ⊹ Series M.List

⭔ : Welcome in! Here at the Humbolt Insect Hybrid Conservation Park, we implore all of our guests to experience the wonderful world of hybrids living in their natural habitats! Feel free to interact with any hybrids that may approach you— however, please keep in mind that this is a no-touch park, these are wild animals after all. Please stay safe, stick to the trails, and enjoy your stay!

Please note: we are not responsible for any risks associated with entering our parks. Keep this in mind when exploring.

Information Board

⭔ : warning! most stories on this list are yandere-themed, meaning they may have elements of dark content in them. all have mature content within them as well. please read all warnings before reading each one!

⭔ : a/n! this series has spawned from my entomology class this semester! so enjoy a lot of useless facts about arthropods while falling in love with hybrid bts <33

⭔ : status! ongoing -> last update: The Pitfalls of Silk

Kim Seokjin

⊹ ׁ ݂┊ ⭔ species: blue morpho butterfly

⊹ ׁ ݂┊ ⭔ classification: arthropoda, insecta, lepidoptera

-> information this species not found! check back later?

Chasing Tornados ⊹ Min Yoongi

⊹ ׁ ݂┊ ⭔ species: fattail scorpion

⊹ ׁ ݂┊ ⭔ classification: arthropoda, arachnida, scorpiones

-> Ever since you were young, you found solstice in the clouds. Found haven in their winding winds, their chilling storms. Monsters of the air meant to destroy became your love— your safety. You know everything about the skies, yet you only want to know more about him. Wish for him to love you just as much as you do him. Your best friend. Your scorpion. Your impossible. Your Yoongi.

Jung Hoseok

⊹ ׁ ݂┊ ⭔ species: warrior wasp

⊹ ׁ ݂┊ ⭔ classification: arthropoda, insecta, hymenoptera

-> information this species not found! check back later?

Kim Namjoon

⊹ ׁ ݂┊ ⭔ species: honey bee

⊹ ׁ ݂┊ ⭔ classification: arthropoda, insecta, hymenoptera

-> information this species not found! check back later?

The Pitfalls of Silk ⊹ Park Jimin

⊹ ׁ ݂┊ ⭔ species: cobalt blue tarantula

⊹ ׁ ݂┊ ⭔ classification: arthropoda, arachnida, aranea

-> The winter gods are out to get you. That could be the only possible explanation for the series of bad luck tumbling before you— tropical vacation cancelled, snow locking you inside. Hell, even your shovel broken in half has got to be the gods playing some sort of trick on you. Pulling you along, making decisions for you as they guide you along the red string of fate. Guide you towards the very spider that found his way into your basement. Allowing him to fall into your heart all the same.

— bites: 01

Kim Taehyung

⊹ ׁ ݂┊ ⭔ species: domestic silk moth

⊹ ׁ ݂┊ ⭔ classification: arthropoda, insecta, lepidoptera

-> coming soon . . .

Jeon Jungkook

⊹ ׁ ݂┊ ⭔ species: black garden ant

⊹ ׁ ݂┊ ⭔ classification: arthropoda, insecta, hymenoptera

-> information this species not found! check back later?

⭔ : consider buying me a kofi <3

⭔ : disclaimer: all members of bts are face and name claims for all works on this blog. the pieces on this blog are entirely fictional and are in no way meant to be a projection, judgment or representation of real-life people. any representations of the people and places mentioned in works are not representative of real-life scenarios.

© all rights reserved to ctrlhope 2019-2024 ; do not copy, plagiarise, or translate.

[sleepyfan-blog]

Aranea posuere ultricies

Author’s note: this fic has been inspired by @cosmic-cryptid-from-beyond ‘s pocket titus sketches! Please check out her art! Thank you for letting me write this

Warnings: spiders, spider-killing, please ask me to tag if something bothers you/I missed it

Tagged: @egrets-not-regrets @the-pure-angel @i-am-a-dragon34 @gallifreyianrosearkytiorsusan @bleedingichorhearts

Tagged: @felinisnoctis

Summary: You acquire a small but fierce protector

You were fumbling with the keys to your front door, holding them in hand as you try to unlock your front door. As you attempt to put the key inside the lock, a large black spider slides down a hair-thin spider silk thread, nearly landing in your face.

You let out a startled shriek of surprise, stumbling backwards as fear and panic grip you. Your heart hammering in the back of your throat and adrenaline causing your body to tremble and freeze as you try to figure out what to do.

The black spider twists on the thin string of spider silk, revealing a bright red hourglass marking on it's abdomen.

More anxiety fills you as you clock that this is a venomous spider - one that could make you quite ill, if it bit you.

The best thing to do would be to somehow non-lethally move this Black Widow away from your door and place it somewhere in your garden... But you have no way of doing so without having to get into your home first...

Which would mean dodging the spider still dangling at eye level. You swallow dryly, still struggling to figure out what to do (and a small part of you feeling very silly about your panic) but you didn't want the spider to potentially crawl onto you, if you tried to dodge around it in order to get into your home.

Before you could make a decision, you felt a pair of tiny but heavy pair of feet land on one of your shoulders before the unexpected weight left you just as quickly.

A tiny Astartes yelled out what he clearly thought was a fierce battle cry "COURAGE AND HONOR!" as he swung a teeny-tiny hammer at the abdomen of the black widow that had been menacing you.

The blow struck true and spider guts splattered over several square inches of your front door.

You unfroze in time to carefully catch the little blue and gold colored tiny Astartes before he fell the rest of the way to the ground - or left a dent in your front door. "Thank you, my lord, for rescuing me." You murmur, having heard from co-workers and online posts how to best appease these tiny but fierce warriors.

The Astartes squeaks and wriggles in your hands in surprise "unhand me, mortal! I must continue my duties."

"As you wish. I was concerned about the fall relative to your size. Would you like something to eat in thanks for rescuing me?" You ask, carefully setting the tiny warrior down on the ground.

He stares up at you through his helmet for several seconds before answering "... Food would be most welcome... And I have fallen further than this. Your concern is..." he hesitates for a couple of moments before continuing "Welcome but unnecessary. Food would be gratefully accepted. I have not eaten in some time."

You nod, unlocking and opening your front door "After you." You murmur, not wanting to accidentally step on him "Unless you'd grant me the honor of carrying you to the kitchen?"

The small marine looked at your entryway, tensing as your cat - a loveable and very chatty coal black cat came trotting up to where you and he were standing with his usually creaky "Mreau!"

"I would like to be carried. Ideally on one of your shoulders, or in a hand or a chest pocket." The tiny marine declares, his helmet still pointed in your cat's direction.

Dixie sniffed curiously at the Astartes, the tip of his tail flicking back and forth.

You bend down and place one hand next to the marine so that he could climb up at his own pace. You reach out with your other hand to pet Dixie "Easy there, Dix. No mischief with our guest." And now you realize that you had yet to ask for the Astartes' name... Or give your own. "Would you like to share your name with me?" You give him your name "I apologize for not introducing myself earlier." You add.

"... I am Lieutenant Demetrian Titus of the Ultramarines Second Company." Titus answers after a few moments of hesitation. He removes his helmet, revealing a weathered and scarred but kind (and handsome) face with soulful greenish-blue eyes and short brown hair that frame his face. He climbs up onto your hand.

You set him on one of your shoulders and quickly move through your home to your kitchen. You set the lieutenant down on your kitchen counter before starting to rummage through the fridge, asking "Is there anything in particular you'd like? I have some left-over taco stuff, pasta with spaghetti, sandwich fixings... I also have some Ice cream and cookies, if you prefer something sweeter."

"I am unfamiliar with those food items. Astartes can eat nearly anything..." The little being answered, shifting a little as he answered "But I have been traveling for some time, and a hot meal would be a welcome indulgence."

You nod and grab two bowls as you're hungry too. You make sure that the bowl for the lieutenant is shallower so that he can better reach inside of it. A quick couple of minutes in the microwave and both bowls of food are steaming hot.

Titus ate quickly shoving handfuls of pasta and sauce into his mouth with his armored gauntlets "This is delicious, thank you."

You hum and smile "I'm glad you like it. Would you like some water to wash it down? I'm about to get myself some water, anyways."

"Water would be helpful. I need to clean my armor, as well as drink." Titus answers, before focusing once again on the food.

~

Weeks had passed and Titus, while he regularly wandered off, had become a regular member of your household.

Currently you were holding him in one hand, having helped the Astartes reach one of the insects encroaching on your property.

He looked so adorably pleased with himself you couldn't help it. You pressed a kiss to his forehead, murmuring "Thank you, for saving me from these awful bugs, Demetrian. Your swift movements and firm strikes slew the enemy handily."

Demetrian blushed, tucking his chin to his armored chest as he hands came up, flailing a little "I... I am merely doing my duty..."

"And you do it well, my lovely Angel." You earnestly compliment.

The Astartes blushes more and looks away from your face at your words, clearly struggling to regain his composure.

You chuckle softly and kiss the top of his head, murmuring "Too much praise, my knight-savior?"

"Yes... But... I... I crave it as well. I must... I must atone for this sin." Titus mumbled, still not looking up at you.

"... It's not a sin to enjoy the praise you get, Demetrian." You point out gently.

The tiny Ultramarine in your hand huffs a little before settling into your hand, mumbling in a language that you do not know, still blushing.

[shadowpotentate]

Attention all Serkets! The S.S. Vriscord has cast off, and now sails the 8 seas with one simple mission: 8ring together as many Serkets as Trollishly possi8le!!!!!!!!

If you are a Vriska, an Aranea, a Mindfang, a Vrissy, or any com8in8ion of the a8ove – you are officially invited to come a8oard the discord server ship, and 8ecome a mem8er of it’s growing crew. This fine vessel is meant to serve as a Serket-centric social space, where we can commiser8 and revel alike in the company of our – do forgive me the pun - kin! The Vriscord has just set sail, 8ut we are already looking forward to organized social events such as movie nights, perhaps TTRPG oneshots, things of that nature. Our crew is yet small, 8ut we’re already quite active and have the markings of a gr8 community.

Any Serket may join – no matter the reason they are a Serket, and no matter the terminology they identify with! Fictionkin, Fictionhearted, Vriskakin and Vriska kinnies, Fictives/Introjects in Plural systems, other terminology I haven’t heard of yet, no matter the origin, you are welcome here!!!!!!!! The only criteria you must meet to 8oard are 8eing over 18 and 8eing a Serket – and non-Serket quadrantm8s of Serkets on-8oard will 8e granted entry if a request is made to myself, the Captain of this no8le 8oat. Welcome a8oard!!!!!!!!

[homestuck-fanauthor-coalition]

@jonayariley

The 219th Year Derse Rose sat alone on the Derse throne that had once been hers. Dave was off somewhere — the where of it didn’t matter anymore. He would be back… or he wouldn’t. Jade didn’t know where she was — nor June. This was, ironically enough, the last place that any of them would look for her. And if the cursed Tome was right about everything, then it wouldn’t matter anymore — not really. There were two more thrones today. She wouldn’t be alone for long. “Heyyyy… anyone there?” A voice drifting into the vast space of the Derse Cathedral. Outside, she could see the Dersites gathering in a crowd. They were hesitant to come inside — hesitant to approach her. “Rox, this is some fucking grade-A insane-o shit,” another, deeper voice — carried across the expanse of the Cathedral by some trick of acoustics. “Jake asked me to back him up on something and I thought he was drinking again… but no bullshit there was something in there.” Two people stepped through the crowd of Dersites at the front of the Cathedral, parting the crowd and walking in. A man with spiked-up hair, his features faintly resembling those of her brother — and a person with their hair in loose curls who could, if it weren’t for their age and general demeanor, pass for an echo of Rose’s own mother. She knew to expect them, already — the Tome had finally offered up the information she had been waiting for so long to obtain. “Roxy… Dirk…” Rose’s voice was soft, but it carried back across the Cathedral — that same trickery of the space that allowed her to hear their conversation before. “Welcome to Derse.”

Chapters: 45/?

Rating: Mature

Archive Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence; Major Character Death

Category: F/F; F/M; Multi

Fandom: Homestuck; Hiveswap

Relationships: Meenah Peixes/Aranea Serket; Porrim Maryam/Aranea Serket; Jade Harley/Rose Lalonde; Porrim Maryam & Kankri Vantas; Meenah Peixes/Kankri Vantas; Jane Crocker/Roxy Lalonde; Roxy Lalonde & Dirk Strider; ?????? Elwurd/Porrim Maryam; Jane Crocker/Jake English; Kanaya Maryam/Aradia Megido; Kanaya Maryam & Karkat Vantas; Eridan Ampora/Vriska Serket; Terezi Pyrope/Vriska Serket; Eridan Ampora/Feferi Peixes; June Egbert/Dave Strider

Characters: Aranea Serket; Meenah Peixes; Porrim Maryam; Beforus Feferi Peixes; Jade Harley; Rose Lalonde; Dave Strider; John Egbert; Lynera Skalbi; Charun Krojib; Kankri Vantas; Stelsa Sezyat; Rose's Mom | Beta Roxy Lalonde; Jane Crocker; Roxy Lalonde; Jake English; Dirk Strider; Yiffany Longstocking Lalonde Harley; ?????? Elwurd (Hiveswap); Cronus Ampora; Daraya Jonjet; Latula Pyrope; June Egbert; Damara Megido; Doc Scratch (Homestuck); Karkat Vantas; Aradia Megido; Kanaya Maryam; Tavros Nitram; Feferi Peixes; Eridan Ampora; Vikare Ratite; Ardata Carmia; Terezi Pyrope; Konyyl Okimaw; Boldir Lamati; Skylla Koriga

Additional Tags: Alternate Universe; Alternate Universe - Modern Setting; Alternate Universe - Fantasy; Alternian Empire (Homestuck); Beforus (Homestuck); Modern Era; Alternate Universe - Cyberpunk; Cyberpunk; Alternate Universe - Post-Apocalypse; Alternate Universe - After College/University; God Tier (Homestuck); Derse and Prospit; cosmic horror; Beforus Culling (Homestuck); Private Investigators; Alternate Universe - Urban Fantasy; Attempted Sexual Assault; Heist; Imperial Drones (Homestuck); Alternate Universe - Steampunk; Alternia (Homestuck)

[xenostucks]

Ask Us Anything

welcome to ara and ara's ask 8ooth! feel free to flood our in8ox with questions.

Normal DNI criteria

Related Or Unrelated to the icon edit 8log

Asks About source material accepted!

prepare to be infodumped!!!!!!!!

( please use she/her for Aradia and she/they/he for myself, thank you !)

Mod Miss Aranea Serket

[peachapartmentsrp]

Welcoming our new Residents (3/26) ❀

Boxes line the front lawn as movers work to get things inside, the hustle and bustle is filled with excitement as the sleepy apartment building is filled once again with new life!

The Peach Apartments welcomes our fifth wave of residents! Help us welcome:

Il Dottore (Genshin Impact) Shinji Ikari (Neon Genesis Evangelion) Rei Ayanami (Neon Genesis Evangelion) Sollux Captor (Homestuck) Arataki Itto (Genshin Impact) Roxanne M. Lalonde (Homestuck) Leon Kennedy (Resident Evil) Ayaka Hisakawa (OC) Shanks (One Piece) Eridan Ampora (Homestuck) Karkat Vantas (Homestuck) Aranea Serket (Homestuck) Crifun (OC) Tsukimi Kurashita (Princess Jellyfish) Perona (One Piece) Ada Wong (Resident Evil) Ellie Miller-Williams (The Last of Us) Dr. Angela Ziegler (Overwatch) Anne Boonchuy (Amphibia) Sephiroth (Final Fantasy) Cloud Strife (Final Fantasy) Elena Bennett (OC) Barnaby Brooks Jr. (Tiger and Bunny) Trafalgar D. Water Law (One Piece) Arataka Reigen (Mob Psycho 100) Frieren (Frieren: Beyond Journey's End) Himmel (Frieren: Beyond Journey's End) Itadori Choso (Jujutsu Kaisen) Ezreal Lymere (League of Legends) Ariel Neptunia (Disney) Champa (Dragon Ball) Utahime Iori (Jujutsu Kaisen) Toge Inumaki (Jujutsu Kaisen) Shoko Ieiri (Jujutsu Kaisen) Kotetsu T. Kaburagi (Tiger and Bunny) Sett (League of Legends) Koriand'r / Starfire (DC Comics) Neru Akita (Vocaloid) Yoosung Kim (Mystic Messenger) Ran Kurage (JJK OC) Tomo Akai (JJK OC) Jumin Han (Mystic Messenger) Jihyun Kim "V" (Mystic Messenger) Lauchlainn Douglas-Black (OC) Jaehee Kang (Mystic Messenger) Mona Megistus / Monique Beaumont (Genshin Impact) Saeyoung Choi (Mystic Messenger) Christina "Chrys/MC" Myung-Castro (Mystic Messenger) Childe (Genshin Impact)

[savescumstuck]

Welcome our new Aranea!

No no down here! She height might 8e low 8ut her voice sure isn't! @malignedrhetorician

[distantechoes-rp]

We are an active 18+ Final Fantasy Roleplay server based on Discord. Our close-knit community happily welcomes any new members who might be interested, kupo! We offer:

✧ an easy-to-follow and ongoing RP setting canon-compliant to all Final Fantasy plots, in which any character may find a home and a purpose, be they a protagonist, an antagonist or a sidekick.

✧ paragraph and script-style RP using Tupperbox

✧ plenty of OOC channels to unwind, comment on the RP, share memes and grow as a community. your opinion matters to us!

✧ a two-week spectator slot if you drop us a DM here or on Twitter!

-> More information and all links here: >CARRD<!!

Currently most wanted characters (full list found here):

✧ Rosa Joanna Farrell (FF4)

✧ Lenna Charlotte Tycoon (FF5)

✧ Terra Branford (FF6)

✧ Barret Wallace (FF7)

✧ Squall Leonhart, Selphie Tilmitt (FF8)

✧ Garnet Til Alexandros XVII, Adelbert Steiner (FF9)

✧ Yuna (FF10)

✧ Sazh Katzroy (FF13)

✧ Alphinaud Leveilleur, Alisaie Leveilleur (FF14)

✧ Aranea Highwind (FF15)

✧ Jill Warrick (FF16)

✧ Althea Sol Alfitaria (FF:CC TCB)

[pesterloglog]

Meenah Peixes, Aranea Serket, Vriska Serket, John Egbert, Tavros Nitram, Aradia Megido, Sollux Captor

Act 6, page 5951-5980

MEENAH: ey its the blue buoy again!

MEENAH: sea him there just off the starboard shit

MEENAH: yo watch how far away i can fork him from

ARANEA: Meenah, put the trident down.

ARANEA: Don't make me conchfishscate it again.

MEENAH: 38D

MEENAH: 38D

MEENAH: conchfishscate

MEENAH: 38D

VRISKA: Hey, it's John!

JOHN: vriska, is that you?

VRISKA: Yeah! Get over here!!!!!!!!

JOHN: alright.

TAVROS: (oH,)

TAVROS: (gREAT,)

VRISKA: Nice to see you again, John. It's 8een too long.

JOHN: yeah...

JOHN: actually hasn't it been exactly a year?

JOHN: i think it was my birthday last time we met too, heh.

VRISKA: A year for you, may8e. Who even knows how long it's 8een out here, 8ut who cares.

VRISKA: The point is, as you can see the plan I descri8ed to you 8efore is in full swing.

JOHN: you mean the big treasure hunt, with all those black maps?

VRISKA: Yes. 8ut they aren't 8lack anymore! Not totally.

VRISKA: Everything's gone exactly as I intended. English has taken the 88, hook line and sinker.

VRISKA: He's 8een chasing our "extended party" around the ring, 8lowing shit up with his monster 8reath, thus revealing the path to the treasure in the process.

VRISKA: I must say, for an evil mastermind, the guy is kind of a dope.

VRISKA: Supposedly his every move is a carefully calcul8ted ploy to assure his existence in the first place, yet here he is wrecking the joint like an oaf, unwittingly helping the hero find the weapon that will finally take him down.

VRISKA: And we're almost there, too! Although 8y now it's 8ecome em8arrassingly o8vious that the treasure was hidden right around where we started all along.

VRISKA: These maps have just 8een leading us all in a 8ig stupid circle!

VRISKA: I should have seen it coming. I guess that's my 8ad. In terms of 8onehead moves, that's English: 1, Vriska: 1, so I guess we're even. 8ut may8e we don't have to mention that detail when we document my heroism in the annals of gr8tness.

JOHN: uh... mention what, exactly?

VRISKA: Exactly!

VRISKA: Haha, I almost forgot how deceptively quick you are on the uptake, John.

TAVROS: (tHAT'S NOT SO IMPRESSIVE,)

TAVROS: (i WAS CONFUSED BY WHAT YOU WERE SAYING, tOO,)

VRISKA: Tavros, if you're going to interrupt, don't mum8le. And even then, don't.

VRISKA: Anyway, I really don't mind the fact that these cryptic treasure maps have led us all on a wild honk8ird chase.

VRISKA: I've never once complained a8out a good long treasure hunt, and I'm not a8out to start now.

VRISKA: 8esides, with the way spacetime works out here, who can say for sure we would 8e a8le to find the treasure at all unless we traced this exact path?

VRISKA: No8ody can say that, is who. Least of all English, who as far as I know, can't actually speak so much as issue 8lood curdling roars that cleave the found8tions of reality itself.

VRISKA: You're of course welcome to join us on our adventure, for as long as you're asleep.

VRISKA: We could use another hand on deck. I'll even give you a rank and title!

TAVROS: yOU GET TO BE LOWER THAN ME,

TAVROS: tHAT'S THE FAIREST RULE,

VRISKA: Wrong.

VRISKA: Tavros, who's the captain here?

VRISKA: Last time I checked, it wasn't Swa88y Nitram, Poopmaster Extraordinaire.

TAVROS: }:(

JOHN: by the way, hi tavros.

JOHN: how have you been?

TAVROS: oKAY,

JOHN: cool pirate outfit you have there.

TAVROS: nO, tHANKS, bUT IT'S NOT COOL, IT'S DUMB,

TAVROS: vRISKA WANTS ME TO WEAR IT THOUGH, sO i DO, sO SHE'LL BE HAPPY,

TAVROS: dON'T ASK ME WHERE MY PANTS ARE,,,

JOHN: i wasn't going to.

VRISKA: We all look amazing as pir8tes.

VRISKA: This is non-negotia8le.

JOHN: no argument here!

JOHN: what about the rest of your crew?

JOHN: i remember her, the punky one who always likes to stab me with her spear...

JOHN: but i really hope she doesn't do that this time.

MEENAH: (dream on blue nerd)

MEENAH: (you in my crosshairs sucka)

MEENAH: (gotch u right where i want)

MEENAH: (just biding my time)

MEENAH: (biding and biding)

MEENAH: (gonna hunt you til we both double dead)

MEENAH: (you are my obsession lil bluefish)

MEENAH: (my shrimpiest of whales)

MEENAH: (my mobiest of dicks)

MEENAH: (call me)

MEENAH: (fishmael)

MEENAH: 3B|

ARANEA: (STOPIT!)

JOHN: but i don't know the one who looks kind of like your sister.

JOHN: what is your name?

ARANEA: Aranea. ::::)

JOHN: hi.

JOHN: and what about those two over there?

VRISKA: These are my friends, Aradia and Sollux.

VRISKA: I have recruited them for this expedition as specialists.

VRISKA: They aren't really here to do any fighting. 8ut their a8ilities will 8ecome useful once we retrieve the treasure.

ARADIA: hello.

JOHN: hey.

JOHN: are you alive?

JOHN: your eyes do not look spooky and ghostly.

ARADIA: thanks!

ARADIA: yes im alive

VRISKA: Yeah, and apparently she intends to stay that way?

VRISKA: Hence her principled if somewhat lame commitment to pacifism.

VRISKA: 8ut considering our history together, I'm willing to let 8ygones 8e 8ygones. I'm happy to have her on my crew in whatever capacity she likes.

JOHN: your history? what happened?

JOHN: wait, that's a rude question. sorry.

TAVROS: (vRISKA KILLED HER TOO,)

TAVROS: (sHE USED THE OTHER GUY THERE, tRAGICALLY, aS THE DEATH WEAPON,)

VRISKA: Hey!!!!!!!!

VRISKA: What did I say a8out 8ygones 8eing 8ygones? That's like rule fucking ONE of this ship.

VRISKA: Anyway, she 8ecame a ro8ot and killed me 8ack, so o8viously we're cool now.

JOHN: jeez, why does everyone always die so much?

SOLLUX: (l0l, like this guy's 0ne t0 talk.)

ARADIA: (sollux dont make our guest uncomfortable)

SOLLUX: (he's already unc0mf0rtable, and he sh0uld be. we all sh0uld be.)

ARADIA: really i havent thought about any of that in a long time

ARADIA: ancient conflicts dont mean anything to me anymore but i was more than thrilled by the opportunity to go on another adventure like this

ARADIA: we used to enjoy such campaigns together all the time when we were younger

ARADIA: of course now the teams are a little different :)

VRISKA: Yeah! Man, those were the days.

JOHN: what about you... why do you have double eye patches?

SOLLUX: uh, because i'm blind, stupid?

JOHN: i can't tell if you're alive too or not, because i can't see if your eyes are spooky.

SOLLUX: they're sp00ky as shit, but yes, i'm alive.

SOLLUX: 0k, here's the sh0rt versi0n. i used t0 be able t0 see, but then i went blind.

SOLLUX: then i used my p0wers t00 hard, and died. but it turned 0ut i was 0nly half dead.

JOHN: half dead?

SOLLUX: let me finish. s0 the gh0st half 0f me c0uld see again, s0 i was 0nly half blind.

SOLLUX: but then s0meb0dy pr0t0typed my c0rpse, which i guess sucked the gh0st half 0f me 0ut 0f my b0dy, t0 make me fully alive again? als0 fully blind.

SOLLUX: and n0w the gh0st part 0f my s0ul is sharing a sprite b0dy with FUCKING ERIDAN 0f all pe0ple.

JOHN: who's eridan?

SOLLUX: just the d0uche wh0 blinded me in the first place, it d0esn't even matter.

JOHN: um, alright. but i don't think i quite followed all of that.

JOHN: what does being half dead mean?

SOLLUX: y0u kn0w, f0rget it.

SOLLUX: i'm s0 sick 0f telling this st0ry t0 pe0ple 0ver and 0ver, and n0b0dy understanding what the hell i'm talking ab0ut.

SOLLUX: it's all s0 simple. n0, actually, it isn't, it's a fucking stupid st0ry that makes n0 sense, maybe that's the pr0blem.

SOLLUX: my marginal existence is fraught with s0 much p0intless duality and c0mplicated n0nsense, s0 i'm d0ne even trying t0 explain it.

SOLLUX: fr0m n0w 0n i sh0uld just wear a shirt that says d0n't ask me ab0ut my disability 0r my m0rtality. then everything w0uld be fine.

VRISKA: It's really kind of a shame Gamzee prototyped Eridan's torso parts and swiped his ghost from the afterlife.

VRISKA: I 8et he would have had a gr8 time on this voyage. I used to own him during our nautical campaigns all the time!

SOLLUX: if he was 0n this ship, i'd walk the plank and plummet thr0ugh the fake ass water thr0ugh infinite n0where f0rever.

SOLLUX: besides y0u act like y0u haven't already recruited at least fifty fucking eridans fr0m d00med timelines in y0ur army.

SOLLUX: y0u really are shamefully prejudiced against 0ur alternate reality gh0st selves, they're just as real as we are and have the same em0ti0ns and everything.

VRISKA: Gimme a 8r8k, Sollux. As if you don't view them the exact same way.

VRISKA: You've got real Eridan, and then pretty much a whole 8unch of pretenders out there.

SOLLUX: they're all real!!! SHIT, i d0n't even LIKE eridan, but here i am sticking up f0r his c0pies.

VRISKA: See? You just called them copies. Even you can't avoid accidentally using a pro8lematic slur which reveals that no matter what you 8elieve a8out your morals, deep down you're always gonna favor the original, while viewing all the others as duplic8tes of lesser value.

SOLLUX: 0h whatever. just WHATEVER, rati0nalize the "c0llateral damage" t0 y0ur army all y0u want.

SOLLUX: and t0 think, bef0re i j0ined y0ur party i heard rum0rs that y0u might have changed, like learned t0 be a better pers0n 0r s0mething, HEHEH, YEAH RIGHT!

VRISKA: Oh pleeeeeeeease. I hardly think I'm a 8ad person for failing to give a shit a8out a 8illion meaningless dead Nepetas, do you?!

SOLLUX: n0, y0u're n0t a bad pers0n f0r THAT PARTICULAR reas0n, i guess.

VRISKA: What am I seriously supposed to do? Fly around and 8efriend each one individually?

VRISKA: Sorry, I have 8etter things to do with my time. Let's try to 8e at least somewhat practical here.

ARADIA: ive met most of those nepetas theyre all very nice

VRISKA: Oh shut up.

JOHN: and what about all those ships up ahead?

JOHN: are they part of the treasure hunt too?

VRISKA: Of course!

VRISKA: That's my army.

MEENAH: *COUG)(*

VRISKA: Ok, I mean OUR army.

VRISKA: 8ut like, on 8oats.

JOHN: isn't an army on boats usually called a navy?

VRISKA: John, help me out. I seem to 8e having trou8le remem8ering which one of us is the captain.

VRISKA: Was it the dork in 8lue pajamas, or was it the veteran sailor in the rad captain's coat?

VRISKA: That's right, the captain was me! And I say it's an army that happens to 8e on a 8unch of 8oats.

TAVROS: (oHHHHHH, oHH DAMN,)

TAVROS: (hE GOT SMOKED! wOW, sO SMOKED,)

TAVROS: (mEENAH, dID YOU CATCH THOSE SICK FIRES,)

MEENAH: (no but for reel it pretty much is a navy)

MEENAH: (just sayin)

JOHN: who's in the army?

VRISKA: Thousands of ghosts. Primarily those of old friends and acquaintances.

VRISKA: We've amassed a coalition of eager volunteers ready to lay down their ghost lives for a worthy cause.

JOHN: you mean fighting lord english?

VRISKA: When we're ready for that, yes. 8ut we need the treasure first.

VRISKA: So for now they're sailing well ahead of us in large num8ers to attract his attention, so he can do more damage to the ring and fill out the rest of our maps.

VRISKA: We should 8e very gr8teful for their 8ravery. They are making a no8le sacrifice for us all.

TAVROS: (bRAVERY, yEAH, rIGHT,)

TAVROS: (i'M MOSTLY SURE SHE'S MIND CONTROLLING THEM,)

VRISKA: God DAMMIT, Tavros.

VRISKA: We really don't need your play 8y play commentary on everything!

JOHN: wait, you're mind controlling all those ghosts?

VRISKA: No!

VRISKA: Well, not all of them.

VRISKA: Once you group enough together, others tend to latch on to the mo8 out of curiosity. We trolls have a way of clustering together naturally.

VRISKA: You've got to understand, John. Most of these people are pretty self a8sor8ed. They just needed a little 8it of persuasion to join the cause.

MEENAH: word

JOHN: yeah, but...

JOHN: isn't that still kind of, um...

JOHN: dickish?

VRISKA: 8ut all these stu88orn jackasses are going to dou8le die anyway if we don't all work together and kill this guy!

VRISKA: This is WAR, John. In times of war, difficult decisions have to 8e made with the lives of many.

VRISKA: Just think of me as a general giving orders to my troops. It just happens that the orders are a little more direct in this case.

MEENAH: hey serket deuce

MEENAH: lets not lose track a whos actually in charge of this shit mkay

VRISKA: Yeah yeah.

VRISKA: All hail Her Imperious Teen Condescension, the fresh new face of tyranny, Supreme Admiral Peixes.

VRISKA: At this time I would like to motion for a fifteen minute 8owing 8r8k so that we may demonstr8te our reverence for this 8old, spunky leader.

MEENAH: yessssss

VRISKA: Tavros, stop 8owing. That was a joke.

MEENAH: no keep doin that

MEENAH: lower swabby

MEENAH: LOW-ER

MEENAH: face on the fuckin deck

MEENAH: yes just like that perfect

JOHN: how do you mind control so many ghosts at once?

JOHN: isn't that kind of hard?

VRISKA: Well, I do have a little help.

VRISKA: John, did I mention?

VRISKA: My ancestor........

VRISKA: She is THE 8EST.

JOHN: she is?

ARANEA: I must admit, I was not in favor of the idea at first.

ARANEA: 8ut Vriska made a very strong case for using our com8ined powers in this way.

ARANEA: In a perfect reality, no one would have to get hurt. 8ut the stakes are too high to 8e shying away from such measures.

VRISKA: See what I mean??

VRISKA: The 8est.

JOHN: uh.

ARANEA: It has 8een wonderful spending so much time on this adventure with my descendant.

ARANEA: Not just 8ecause it's helped me get to know her 8etter, 8ut 8ecause it's opened my eyes to things a8out myself I was never really in touch with.

ARANEA: There are certain capa8ilities within me I have never quite 8een a8le to face, and she's helped me realize I've 8een hiding from them all my life, and well 8eyond.

ARANEA: It must 8e true what they used to say on my world. That if you really want to know who you are, look to the legacy left 8ehind 8y your ancestor.

ARANEA: I think that wisdom works in 8oth directions!

VRISKA: Well put, Marquise. I've always felt the exact same way!

MEENAH: PUKE

MEENAH: oh my glub the serk twins bein adorbubble again

MEENAH: nitram get your mop ready for swabbin up all this vomit comin out ma mouth

TAVROS: eW, nO,

MEENAH: can you two stick a fork in the sentimental carp

MEENAH: maybe pretend you aint hit it off so good

MEENAH: you ever stop and think how this makes me feel

ARANEA: There's no reason to 8e jealous, Meenah. You know nothing has changed a8out our friendship.

MEENAH: jealous

MEENAH: bitch no

MEENAH: just makes me think about my kid descendant

MEENAH: an how instead of having this cool friendsy relation with her i just got this uncontrollable urge to stab her to death so she dont threaten my supremacy

MEENAH: which is a shame cuz she so cute 38(

MEENAH: cod damn my royal blood and the cray junk it makes me have to do

MEENAH: aw well

MEENAH: maybe some day ill find an heiress who my genes dont instinctively make me wanna murder on sight

MEENAH: then i can teach her the badass ways of being a boss n shit!

JOHN: (god, trolls are so weird.)

TAVROS: jOHN JUST SAID TROLLS ARE WEIRD,

TAVROS: hE SAID IT QUIETLY, bUT i HEARD HIM,

JOHN: hey!

JOHN: you snitch.

MEENAH: yeah but

MEENAH: arent we

TAVROS: uH,,,,,

MEENAH: moral of the story is blue kid is a dumb nerd but is right when he says stuff

MEENAH: look at that its like me and him are becoming fast fronds thus lulling him into a sense of false confidence already

JOHN: what?

MEENAH: (soon my lil whale...)

MEENAH: (soon...)

ARANEA: It is true. To a human, the ways of trolls from 8oth Alternia and 8eforus will seem very strange.

ARANEA: In fact, prior to uniting in the afterlife, even the two groups of trolls were reasona8ly alien to one another.

ARANEA: I've had a gr8 deal of time to study the cultures of many species throughout paradox space. No matter which race you 8elong to, one can always find another whose ideals pose a challenge of comprehension to even the most open minded.

ARANEA: And though the ethical standards of those from Alternia may seem unpalata8le to you, rest assured there are 8eings elsewhere in the cosmos whose violent 8ehavior would 8e considered extreme even to most trolls.

ARANEA: Actually John, I'm very glad you 8rought this up.

ARANEA: 8ecause I was in the middle of a wonderful story a8out this very su8ject, which you interrupted when you 8oarded our ship.

JOHN: oh.

JOHN: sorry.

ARANEA: No, that's fine!

ARANEA: Really, I'm quite pleased that you did.

ARANEA: This way I get to start over from the 8eginning!

ARANEA: There were some rough patches in my original telling which I can go 8ack and fix.

ARANEA: This time it will 8e much 8etter!

JOHN: ok.

JOHN: what's the story about?

ARANEA: It is a tale a8out a very mysterious alien race called cheru8s.

ARANEA: Let us 8egin.

ARANEA: Once upon a time........

ARANEA: There was a very mysterious alien race called cheru8s!

MEENAH: aranea i thought you said youd fix the shitty parts of the story

MEENAH: you started with that crappy line the first time too

ARANEA: The opening line is fine!

MEENAH: its aight i guess

MEENAH: knot

ARANEA: Oh shut up and let me tell my story.

ARANEA: Now where was I?

JOHN: there was a very mysterious alien race called cherubs.

ARANEA: Right.

ARANEA: There was a very mysterious alien race called cheru8s.

ARANEA: 8ut there was one cheru8 in particular who, for at least the first half of our story, will 8e our heroine.

ARANEA: She spent eons roaming her galaxy, completely alone. 8ut the time had come for her to find a m8.

This is no small task for a cheru8. 8eing an asocial species, they spend virtually no time in each other's presence at all. Aside from when it is time to m8, they may go their entire lives without encountering another. And so they scatter their num8ers throughout space, each staking a territory spanning many lightyears.

8ut like a predator is a8le to track the scent of its prey, a cheru8 can sense the presence of another near8y. This sense is especially strong if that cheru8 shares the same qualities its other half once had long ago, 8efore it experienced the matur8tion process known as predomin8tion.

You see, when a young cheru8 hatches, it would appear that only one creature has 8egun its life. 8ut the appearance is not to 8e trusted. The young cheru8 actually consists of two completely distinct 8eings, a male and a female each sharing one 8ody. The two halves are endowed with polar opposite predispositions as well. One predisposed toward malevolence, another toward 8enevolence. Good or evil, if you prefer to deal in simplistic terms, or at least those which are convenient for the sake of this story! I prefer to view the dichotomy as a kind of moral alignment, like an attri8ute that dict8tes the choices a character makes in certain types of games I used to play. The male and female halves can 8e aligned either way, as long as they differ from each other. The resulting conflict 8etween the two personalities is central to life as a cheru8, 8oth 8efore and after predomin8tion.

Shortly after hatching, the two halves 8egin vacill8ting, taking turns controlling the 8ody. The only physical differenti8tion 8etween the two is the color8tion of their cheek swirls, which indic8tes alignment. There is otherwise no way to tell male and female apart 8efore a cheru8 predomin8tes. The vacill8tion process is demarc8ted 8y sleep. When the male goes to sleep, the female wakes up. And when the male wakes up, again the female sleeps. And so it goes, 8ack and forth like this, as the two identities vie for dominance over the other, and ultim8tely, permanent control over the 8ody. They grow to detest one another, and develop a view of social interaction centered entirely around animosity and confront8tion. For good cheru8s, this readies them for a long life of isol8tion, as they will prefer to avoid the sort of conflict that comes with social interaction as they have 8een conditioned to understand it. 8ut for evil ones, the contentious up8ringing only serves to fuel their inclin8tion to harm others.

And though this duality makes for a tormented childhood, the inner conflict it cre8tes is an extremely important part of a young cheru8's life. The defining part, actually. It is the struggle a cheru8 must overcome to mature, and this process culmin8tes in predomin8tion.

One half will prove to have a stronger will than the other. The less dominant half will then weaken over time, and it will eventually 8ecome clear to 8oth that one will not survive. The dominant personality will then completely consume the other, integr8ting it in such a way that only one is left. The cheeks will 8ecome solidly colored, and the cheru8 will grow to maturity as a single 8eing, endowed with the alignment of the dominant half, and with all his or her personal qualities at the forefront of the union.

In the case of our heroine, she was the good half, and the day of her predomin8tion was in a sense the day her 8rother died. And though it was to her 8enefit and personal growth, 8ecause of this loss she would always live with a sense that something was missing. Every sexually mature cheru8 lives with this feeling. It drives them to seek out another cheru8 similar to the half they lost, the part of their 8eing which they grew up in perpetual conflict with. The desire to travel the universe in hopes of reigniting that conflict is very important to their species. It's the force which compels them to procre8.

So she set out to track his scent, as it were. And soon, she found a physical trail as well. A path of carnage left 8ehind 8y a particularly destructive male cheru8. She followed the de8ris from civilized worlds and star systems he left 8ehind, as if to mock her, to make it clear he knew of her pursuit and was all 8ut paving her way with the dead. His 8rutality made her more furious, thus setting the mood, so to speak, for their imminent courtship.

A cheru8 of his alignment is seemingly motiv8ted 8y little other than to conquer and destroy. From a 8ioexistential perspective, they 8ehave somewhat like viruses attacking the system from within. 8ut as with all sym8iotic organisms living within a universe, there are 8alancing factors. While those inha8iting an evil cheru8's territory will regard it as an unpredicta8le tyrant, those in the territory of a good cheru8 will likely come to view it as a protector, waiting quietly for millenia in deep space, ready to attack any encroaching threat. In that sense, they are not unlike cells in a universal immune system.

This 8alance of forces allows sta8ility, such that life and new civiliz8tions can 8lossom and thrive within a universe, thus assuring the possi8ility of its own ela8orate procre8tion process. 8ut if that 8alance was ever distur8ed, it would lead to chaos in that 8iosystem. The universe could not survive for long. And if 8y some means a cheru8 with such destructive tendencies were to achieve unprecedented power, the resulting im8alance would 8e catastrophic for paradox space itself. And though the heroine of our story could have no way of knowing, this is exactly what would result from the pursuit of her kismesis.

Like humans, cheru8s perceive romance through only one quadrant. Unlike humans, their rel8tionships are exclusively 8lack. 8ut their m8ting ritual is much more violent than any practice trolls would, or even physically could engage in. And though it is critical to the perpetu8tion of their race, the confront8tions can sometimes 8e lethal to one or 8oth cheru8s. Regardless of the outcome, the stakes are always high. The winner of the duel will assume control of the other's territory, while the loser will slink away to 8ear the offspring. So as she toured the planetary wreckage, she knew her quest for a m8 was not just a8out the propag8tion of her species, 8ut the li8er8tion of 8illions from a monster.

She pursued him for many sweeps with mounting o8session, until one day the trail came to an end at a 8lack hole. Cheru8s typically seek out 8lack holes as the setting for their m8ting ritual. 8ut not any 8lack hole. Once long ago it was a star, and circling that star was a planet. That planet was home to one of the presently sparring cheru8s. The male in this case returned to the site of his hatching to m8, a loc8tion now conspicuously occupied 8y a truly massive 8lack hole.

This was where she found him. And this was where they would duel.

While an adult cheru8 is a fearsome creature, and would 8e a formida8le opponent to anyone in its unaltered st8, this is not the form in which they do 8attle with each other. The ritual is more extreme and physically demanding than any other kind of courtship or duel in the universe. The moment they meet, they will 8oth undergo a dramatic metamorphosis.

The m8tes will then duel as two vast frightening serpents, each an astronomical unit in length.

The tangled struggle 8etween the green aus is exceedingly 8rutal and can last for sweeps. While dueling in such a monstrous form, their energy is inexhausti8le. The transform8tion taps into the cheru8s' latent connection with the enigmatic forces presiding over all that is eternal, and perme8ting all those endowed with immortality. Normally this power is only accessi8le to them during m8ting. In this form, they are only a8le to 8e injured 8y one another, and are otherwise indestructi8le. Hence the ritual can never 8e stopped 8y an outside force until it is complete.

It should come as no surprise that in this story our heroine was victorious. Upon defeating her m8 she initi8ted the interlocking form8tion to complete the coupling, while assuming the dominant position, a stance undetecta8le to all 8ut the most astute o8servers of the zoologically du8ious. Consequently, the male was fertilized with the young.

He then slithered away in disgrace from the territory he'd just lost. A cheru8 looking to nest will search for a dead planet situ8ted near a massive dying star. The egg is deposited on the planet's surface, and the rising temperature from the expanding red giant will incu88 the egg until it is ready to hatch. Later in life, the cheru8 will grow wings, assuming it has matured properly. And if it has learned to fly well enough to reach a safe distance from the nest 8efore the star goes supernova, soon the hungry cheru8 will return and feast on the resulting stellar energy. Doing so allows it to gain enough strength to travel gr8 distances, and claim its own territory. The star will then collapse into a 8lack hole, serving as a distinct gravit8tional 8eacon to the cheru8 l8ter in life, so it may return there to m8.

As it happens, our heroine's m8 discovered Earth, long after it had journeyed to a new sun, and long since new civiliz8tions had risen and fallen. Now on the 8rink of destruction from its dying star, its 8arren accommod8tions were ideal for a young cheru8. There he deposited his single egg and flew away, never to return. No cheru8 ever spawns more than one offspring at a time, for it is every cheru8's destiny to grow up alone. Or alone on the outside, at least.

From that egg hatched one very special cheru8 with two names - one that few will ever know, and one that few should ever say. A fascin8ting thing a8out cheru8 reproduction is how the parent's alignment is passed on to the young. If the male lays the egg, the alignments of the child's two halves will 8e the same as the parents. If the female lays the egg, the alignments will 8e flipped, and the young male and female halves will 8e endowed with opposite alignments of the parents. As such, the male half took after his father. Perhaps the son even exceeded him in violent tendencies. It is hard to imagine there has ever 8een a cheru8 more willfully destructive or as stu88ornly dedic8ted to conquest than the monstrosity he would grow up to 8ecome.

Due to his indomita8le nature, I 8elieve victory over his sister was a foregone conclusion. 8arring a highly impro8a8le glitch in causality, it would 8e almost impossi8le for her to predomin8te over someone like him. And even so, he didn't have the patience to w8. Unfortun8tely for everyone to ever exist, he discovered a way to predomin8te early. Yet it was not this act alone that would prove ominous, so much as the means through which it was achieved. He was allowed to 8ecome the solo player of a game which his kind was never meant to play.

And so, it is with the predomin8tion of her son that our heroine's story ends, and the story of our villain 8egins.

ARANEA: Hey!!!!!!!!

ARANEA: Meenah, where are you going?

MEENAH: im takin a gaper break

MEENAH: god

ARANEA: 8ut the story isn't over yet!

MEENAH: girl your stories never end my bladder cant even deal

MEENAH: just keep talking while im gone

ARANEA: No, that's ok. We can w8!

MEENAH: i already heard the damn story though!

ARANEA: Not all of it!

MEENAH: glubber fuck cant you just keep yappin about snake sex while i hit the lil grubs room already

ARANEA: I'm afraid not. Everyone must listen to the full story.

MEENAH: omfg

MEENAH: you really are turnin evil arent ya

MEENAH: i would be proud except of how terrible and boring the actual consequences are for me personally

JOHN: wait...

JOHN: does that mean when you're a ghost you still have to pee?

MEENAH: none a your business blue kid

JOHN: that's so weird.

JOHN: am i the only one who thinks that's weird?

VRISKA: No, John. It's definitely pretty weird that ghosts have to pee.

VRISKA: You get used to life as a ghost pretty fast, though.

JOHN: but weren't you already pretty used to peeing when you were alive?

VRISKA: Yeah. That's why you get used to it pretty fast, dummy!

JOHN: this is kind of a stupid conversation.

JOHN: can we hear more about the snakes and whatnot? it was a pretty cool story.

ARANEA: Yes! ::::D

ARANEA: As soon as Meenah returns from her visit to the load gaper.

MEENAH: HOLY MACK-ER-EL CAN YOU S)(ITFUCKS JUST -ENJOY YOUR SPAC-E LIZARD PORN W)(IL-E I TAK-E A FUCKING PISS???

ARANEA: I think we could all stand to take a 8rief intermission from the story regardless, to let all these intriguing facts a8out cheru8s sink in.

MEENAH: ugh

MEENAH: you and your intermissions

MEENAH: what is with your intermissions they aint even intermissions most of the time

MEENAH: they just an excuse to tell another dumb story inside a longer dumb story

ARANEA: Yes, Meenah. You are correct, and your reserv8tions are noted.

ARANEA: However, would it change your mind if I were to propose not an intermission, 8ut........

ARANEA: An interfishin?

MEENAH: ...

MEENAH: ...

ARANEA: ;;;;)

MEENAH: fine

MEENAH: lets do the interfishin thing you said

MEENAH: cuz of fish

MEENAH: brb u scrubs

[futanariwriter]

The GunShip

Bangga Beast Master Ch.1

January 03, 2023

-Prolouge-

For many years their family wandered in space living a nomadic life of traveling merchants selling wares in an interplanetary market on what we call Pluto. There were many rare artifacts which they sold including Vacus, a rare mineral which was capable of cutting diamond. Aranea and Cassandra had a child together who grew to develop one of the first arcade games since the war which their father had nobly fought in. This is that story. 

I "The Great Nyuu" programmed my own arcade game as a young child (about three terra years) the game was essentially like Ace Attorney phoenix wright however it is a virtual reality and not licensed by Nintendo.  It also helps kids learn about the legal system where it is based so it’s educational. 

My dad Aranea the electro-dragon wanted to market it back on Rayuba and help their young child obtain the recognition they deserved. 

“It’ll be ok Son we will be there soon” said Aranea to their bi-pedal cobra dragon shark child who’s name was Nyuu(later changed to Nyuu the great). They had four arms as well from the injection which was received by bat person on Melal, and could fire lasers from their third eye from a young age as well.

    Their other children Din-Din a playful and wandering spirit, as well as Pan-Pan Their beautiful daughter with Loretta the Red Panda. They also had the four-arm genetic trait from their parent Aranea who had also learned to levitate recently using the cosmic gauntlets or cestus as they were sometimes referred to as a jetpack to levitate above the ground. The reverse could also generate a powerful jumping which could be followed by swift kicks and punches.’

As a Parent, Aranea has tried to educate their children in the ways of fist law and the different kinds of cosmic gauntlets, weapons sold at cosmic farmers' markets, and can essentially be made out of any material. Some are programmed to help you organize equipment, some are for traveling, some can speed or slow time, etc… 

Their mothers on the other hand were masters of their own. This is their story….

Ch.1 Welcome Home …Not (see what I did there) Their Mothers didn’t want them to only study Martial Arts, Music,the arts of Gardening, and Scavenging with me so they kept them nearby to teach them things like Math, Computers, and an ancient language on their planet called English. I’m not sure what good any of that will ever do for them but my son Nyuu has seemed to be onto something with this lawyer game of his. I am older now, about 12 years have passed since the events on Rayuba. My girls also teach them how to make ancient sculptures from their time called Pinatas, which they all beat with sticks on their birthdays and we fill them with sweets. I lay on my Bed on the ship looking into the stars wondering what Rayuba will look like after all the years. Its two Suns remain in the sky, however it feels silly to call any man this but "Paternum" is no longer there I hear. 

"When I lived there I could swear he was close to a god, but now, a pathetic joke to me....No man is God; for me are all of them are just...Nothing...meaningless empty husk meant to be crushed on the wheel of time!"

We Finally made it back to my hometown on the Northern Coast. There we started our own little cosmic farmers market where I sold Stone and Bone Cestus to would-be practitioners of fist arts on the nearby islands, I sold spears made of bone and stone as well, Crossbows,Electricity Whips, Small Dwarf beetles like the ones on Ma'lel, and Nyuu got to sell his virtual arcade game which was just as successful as any of my en-devours. Things were looking good! My son Din-Din had purchased their own property on the other side of the coast and was starting a homestead. Pan-Pan had even started an online store and was getting into art and music and was helping me design characters for my novels. I was proud of all of them. 

Things were going great...Until she showed up. A young Bat Girl, I was always suspicious of them after what happened with my crew 12 years ago on Ma'lel but now my past had caught up to me...cause I had fallen in love. Her name was Seras. She was about 5'8" and had short brown and grey fur, a long nose and short fangs, and cartilage piercings four on each ear. She was just a young girl when the war for Rayubas independence broke out and people became desperate. Many warriors were created in these times of terror. It was in these times when I became the master of Fist law you see before you today.  She showed up to play Nyuu's game regularly and wanted to buy my Bone gauntlets one day. I just gave her a pair for free and offered her a lesson but she said "it was ok"..."Dang, I was striking out." "Perhaps she wasn't interested in me and was more interested in Nyuu and I should focus on helping him get the girl, so he doesn't end up a lonely video-game programmer Otaku armchair lord..." I thought at that moment. 

[malewifelizard]

Adding to this; for those who noticed the Eternal Bonding in the schedule, we're holding one for our last year's pairs of game winner!! Aranea-Arashi, the Champion of Nhaama and Azim. Check the invitation post on twitter here! (https://x.com/Daybr3akX/status/1752940852463190034?s=20) A little funfact: "Shiawase-o-Mukaeru" or "幸せを迎える" means "To Welcome Joy" While Bajaröb mean "To Share Joy," the meaning of the event changes to better suit the IRP Lore for this event which allow even those once unjustly banished from SnS to return! See below for more;

In Lore, which takes place after the completion of Kurenai Custom Delivery, Kurenai reached out for help in better promoting Sui-no-Sato culture and to finally open its door and allow those who have been unjustly banished from SnS for taking up a cause in the surface. This fear, once stemmed from the fear of war once again ravaging their homeland as it was before, had caused a rift between those who wish naught but stop the horrors in the surface to ever reach Sui-no-Sato and those who wish for independence from the surface. Now that people of Sui-no-Sato have begun trading with the surface world once more and the people have begun to learn to be more accepting of those above and opening the door for visitors while remaining vigilant to those who wish it ill. So, for those Au Ra of SnS descent who have been banished from their homeland and finding it hard to return home. Take this as an invitation to be welcomed home as an apology from the Ruby Princess herself.

BAJARÖB NAADAM PRESENT: "SHIAWASE-O-MUKAERU"

In this Official Announcement for #BajarobNaadam, we present "Shiawase-O-Mukaeru" Ceremony! Celebrating this year's Naadam being held in the Ruby Sea. Similar to last year, we'll have games for people to participate and space for fellow Auri players to hang out! More info below~

Like last year, we'll have an opening flight and a closing flight. Characters who couldn't/doesn't have Yols are allowed to join the flight behind the Yol groups. Meanwhile, the end of flight will have us mount a Striped Ray or any aquatic steeds!

1st Game of The Ceremony! "Champions of Revelry" is an RP combat event, newbie RP friendly and open to veteran RPers as well! Will you win Susano's Favors or be strike down by his favored's thunder? 2nd Game of the Ceremony! "Hunters of The Ruby's Secret" is a Semi-RP Scavenger Hunt event! Work with your partner in solving the riddle and finding hints for what you need to win! 3rd Game of the Ceremony! "Tides of Shishui" is an RP racing game using your aquatic mount, friendly event for newbie RPer and open to veteran as well! Come race like the youths of Tamamizu and Sui-no-Sato! Sign up for The Event here! https://forms.gle/ui5yRU7qWbjN3LNs5

For those who cannot or couldn't join the Main Events, we also offer some side events to enjoy and win prizes from! Most are OOC and free for all to join on the spot! In the spirit of Sui-no-Sato, we're also including some events better suited to the Ruby Sea~ This year, we're trying something new; Cultural Vendor! Peddle your wares and help promote the culture of your Au Ra or check the vendors! Fortune telling, food selling, boutiques, materials, and weapons are welcome~ Sign up here! http://tinyurl.com/BNVendor

We're also opening volunteers to help us run things smoothly and keep track of things since there's only four of us organizing this. Rest assured, you will be compensated after each day of the event! We're looking for Announcer for Events among these so, please DM me if you're interested! Meanwhile, here are Schedules for the three day events!

Again, thank you so much for the continued support and interest in the event! @LamiaDaerva (on twitter), @thedragonswill, @lorgelizard (on twitter), and me are happy to bring another Bajaröb Naadam this year! If you have any questions, please message any of us or join our Discord! https://discord.gg/jAHWndXdQX

[pageofheartanalysis]

I'd love to hear what you'd come up with for the Sylph of Breath! Whatever you have time/energy for!!! :) Welcome and thank you in advance!!! Happy to follow your blog!

Aaaaaaah pls wait your so sweet thank you so much!!!!! Let's get into it !!!

We always love a good sylph! Sylphs are often theorized to be the one who heals their aspect or the one who heals through their aspect for others. Aranea Serket, whose our canonical Sylph of Light, was shown to heal those be able to see in both a metaphorical and literal sense; examples of this being when she fixed Terezi's eyesight and also fixed Jake's mind!! The counterpart for Sylph's is the Prince class, which destroys their aspect or destroys through their aspect.

Now! Breath is all about freedom, going with the flow and where ever the wind (haha) takes you! The extended zodiac describes breath bound players as flexible and expansove, never tied down to one thing and pretty easy going people depending on their class! This players lead by example, and are hard to die down.

So! Based on these facts and what have you, I think its fair to say a Sylph of Breath would be a very interesting class!!!! Perhaps a Sylph of Breath would help their teammates by encouraging them to let go of their more suffocating obligations, allowing them to pursue better thing or what needs to be done? If that makes sense.

Sylph are pretty analytical from what we've seen in the comic, both Aranea and Kanaya are very smart and deductive characters! Nd a Sylph of Breath is no exception to this; though their challenge in their games is to act on their views and opinions rather than trying to influence from the back of the crowd.

Sylph's of Breath are very easy going and laid back people in my mind. They just want to have a good time without the hassle and fear and worry, and they want the same for their friends and everyone else. It makes me kind of think of those laid back stoner type people, or wild college frat party people. "Just come on it'll be fun have a good time let your worries fall!" Yknow?

They are probably very pushy to some degree, and likely have a hard time taking No for answer when it comes to getting their friends away from responsibilities that they seem to think are drowning them. They have good intentions really, and just want everyone to...well be free!!!

I hope this was helpful!!! :DD

[aellynera]

Itsy Bitsy Spiders (HCs)

OKAY LOOK GUYS. This is not my fault. This is all because of @rosemarysbaby13​ and a running conversation we’ve had about spiders and how we need Llewyn to come deal with them, because he would totally be about getting rid of spiders for you. Aaaaaaand then it became 2am and I don’t know but I just had to write some HCs about how our Oscars would handle dealing with spiders (both if you asked them to deal with it for you, and just spiders in general) and...

Warnings: There is (a very little) bit of language under the cut, but that’s it. Oh, and spiders.

Llewyn Davis would 100% deal with the spider for you. The spider clearly didn’t care that much about its existence if it had the audacity to invade your personal space without asking permission, and Llewyn is not okay with that. He just wants to cuddle with you and that spider is curbing his flow. Now if the spider dared to crawl on him, he has no problem begging you to get it off him and throw it out the window. That spider can take its chances on the damn fire escape, that piece of shit.

Nathan Bateman sees the spider as a literal bug, even though he knows they are not actually bugs. They are arthropods (class Araneae) but they are eight-legged hellions that could potentially actually be dangerous to not only him but also to his laboratory so he gets immense satisfaction from smashing the hell out of them. They are errors in the code.

Mikael Boghosian would catch and release the spider. He took an oath to do no harm, and that extends to the non-human world as well. In fact, this is an issue often enough that he has a small glass and piece of cardboard specifically set aside in order to trap the invaders and set them free (never mind that he’s likely caught and released the same spider on your behalf at least twenty times; he will do whatever you need or ask of him.)

Michael Perry would get rid of the spider out of necessity, because they’re kinda gross and he doesn’t really like things with so many legs (two human legs or four canine or feline legs are just fine) but would also feel bad if one got smooshed under his cowboy boots. It’s not his fault, they should know better than to challenge the Texas Tush Push.

Orestes would begrudgingly handle spider disposal. It’s not that he likes them (not really) but he doesn’t particularly dislike them either (they are a part of the natural world, after all.) But if they bothered you that much, he would deal with it. And he would do it while telling you all about how important they are to how the world connects and works together. Who knows the effect that killing a spider in Alexandria could have on the farthest reaches of the empire?

Cecil doesn’t actually care one way or the other about the spider, but he does have an issue if it touches his skin and especially if it crawls anywhere near his neck. And all bets are off if the fucker comes near his beer and climbs onto the bottle. He’s fairly certain he could hit the bottle with a shot from halfway across the room with pinpoint accuracy, and he will apologize profusely to you if he misses and has to buy you a new dining room table. And he’d still feel bad about killing the spider.

Poe Dameron finds this to be a complicated question/request. How big is the spider? How many legs does it have? It’s alien, after all…some spiders are definitely more terrifying than others and you screaming “KILL IT” at him just isn’t specific enough. So he quickly snaps a holo of it and then asks BB-8 to run an analysis. Once the actual make and model of this alien invader has been determined, Poe considers asking you to handle it yourself - he knows you’re totally capable of dealing with alien spiders. But in the end, of course he would take care of it for you. By asking BB-8 to burn it with his lighter.

Reeves would either get rid of the spider, or catch it and throw it outside, whichever. Whatever you wanted, really. It’s just a spider, they never bothered him, so he doesn’t mind either way really. He does find it incredibly cute that you end up shrieking and jumping up on one of the kitchen chairs, laughing as he points out that it’s just a little spider, not a mouse. Then he writes a song about it.

Santiago Garcia is too busy running around the jungles of Colombia and trying to not get eaten by spiders of his own. But if he were home, he would absolutely take care of that spider for you. This is not even a question. Spider survival is a mission.

Bud Cooper would definitely get rid of the spider, but he would take it outside first before dealing with it. It was not invited into the house, it is not a welcome guest, and smashing it wherever it was found could potentially ruin the furniture or possibly hurt you, if it was crawling on you. So out it goes, and then it dies. And the next day when he gets to the office, he starts researching instances of spider infestations in your neighborhood and nearby parcels of land on the off-chance that this could radically affect your property values.

Blue Jones would catch the spider and then keep it as a pet. You don’t even know what to say to him other than...you really don’t know what to say. He tells you that he just feels like it suits him, and the next thing you know he’s named it “Baby” (because that’s not weird or anything) and is making a home for it on the corner of his desk. Vera is in the corner of the office, pinching the bridge of her nose as you shout at him that it’s not a tarantula and not something you keep as a pet and he just shrugs and continues on his merry way. From that day forward, none of the other girls understand why you call him Brown Recluse (and you’re certainly not going to explain it) but at least he got the damn thing off you. Maybe if you’re lucky, it will bite him. Karma is a bitch.

Lucien despises spiders. Not to the point that he won’t handle them himself if he has to, but it’s much more preferable if Gabriel is available to deal with such matters. And anyway, if he has to do it himself, he had an extra pair of gloves and he has somewhat accidentally discovered the best lure for most spiders is a jelly donut. And he’s fairly sure he’s doused most of them in the gasoline anyway.

Basil Stitt doesn’t even know how the spider got into his apartment in the first place. That must be one crafty little fucker to get past his set of defenses. Oh, shit, maybe it was when he had the pizzas delivered. Oh well. Whatever, it’s here now, and he’s definitely going to make it go away. He decided to call it Jason (there was no way that thing was also going to be called Basil, why did everything want to use his name anyway?) And Jason is going down. Just as soon as he manages to pry that big ass kitchen knife out of his desk.

[autumnblogs]

Day 44: Preoccupied about the same things as Trolls, revisited

Welcome back y’all! Before we get into this, I want to talk about the Condesce/Meenah as a parallel character to Mom Lalonde/Roxy. You can read a bit about @mmmmalo​‘s takes on Openbound, and why they think that Meenah is symbolically Roxy’s Doppelganger here.

I want to call attention to some specific similarities between them, and while I think it’s a bit of a stretch, Homestuck draws parallels between characters all the time.

Both the Condesce and Mom Lalonde are matriarch figures estranged from their potential offspring by dire circumstances and servitude to a patriarchal authority and his time-spanning plan - for the Condesce, that’s English obviously, but for Mom Lalonde, that’s Grandpa Harley - servitude to his design renders her a wreck of an alcoholic forced to endure the end of days with no means to stop them from happening, living with a daughter who wants nothing to do her.

Both Meenah and Roxy are rebels against a repressive order, inclined to shirk their assigned Role in service to someone else’s master plan, but ultimately, through some roundabout means or another, give service to it anyway (for Meenah, scratching the game, and ultimately ending up English’s glorified slave for eons in the end; for Roxy, at first refusing to play Sburb in hopes of spiting the Batterwitch, but ultimately ending up playing into her schemes anyway).

They are both rebellious spirits who are repeatedly forced to participate in Paradox Space’s Alpha Timeline all but against their will by hegemonic forces, slaves to a system that they exist in perpetual rebellion against, and by the end of the comic, they both get to help strike a decisive blow against the ultimate foe. Unfortunately, unlike Roxy, Meenah is ultimately the kind of person who chooses at practically every occasion to continue cycles of abuse instead of breaking them. There is ultimately no possibility of reconciliation between these estranged sisters.

So, I see a lot of the Alpha Kids in the four Alpha Trolls who appear in this flash. As the Faux Heroic Himbo, the parallel between Rufioh and Jake is obvious. I don’t think that it’s fair to characterize Jake’s relationship with Dirk as being “cheating on Jane,” though that’s probably how Jane feels about the whole situation; I’ve always gotten the impression she feels entitled to him.

More after the break.

The imagery here is an obvious parallel between Jake and Dirk’s big damn kiss, and Rufioh and Horuss’s - but between Rufioh’s bravado and general obliviousness, and Horuss’s clear triangular parallel with Dirk and Equius, we should expect that the situation is switched here - Dirk = Horuss, Rufioh = Jake.

While it could easily just be a bit of extraneous characterization, I’m inclined to regard Rufioh’s characterization of the women in his life as “Dolls” especially because of his symbolic proximity to Lord English. (He is at best one degree of separation from him, as Jake English’s Alpha Troll Doppelganger) - and the fact that Puppets and Dolls are pretty much synonymous with each other in terms of the way that English interacts with them.

More extremely obvious parallels.

Both of the Zahhaks have hangups about dating down the Hemospectrum, and as long as we’re examining Dirk through the lens of the Zahhaks, allow me to speculate; I think that part of the reason Dirk chooses not to directly identify with the label of gay is less aloofly progressive futurism, and more that he is uncomfortable with his own sexuality.

As a guy who repeatedly appeals to reactionary ideals and rhetorical devices like “Western Civilization,” “Reason,” “Logic,” maybe there is a degree to which we can read Horuss and Equius’ self-repression through the haemospectrum into Dirk suffering from internalized Homophobia.

This is a real long shot, but I’ve always gotten the impression that Dirk is a bit of a bottom. Maybe his desire in building up Jake into a powerful counterpart, like English’s desire to transform Jake into a powerful rival, is built out of a desire to be Oedipally usurped by a former pupil - to have his Eromenos turn the tables, and become the Erastes in turn, in power-dynamic terms.

In Classical Civilization, homosexual relations weren’t unheard of, and were pretty reasonably common, but it was seen as shameful to bottom, especially for someone of a lower social standing than you were (Julius Caesar was mocked as the Queen of Bithynia when it was rumored that he bottomed for Nicomedes IV, which was a serious attack on his political career).

Wild speculative tangent over.

Now this is interesting; Meenah is unwittingly drawing a parralel between Damara and Vriska. The main commonality between them is that, like Vriska (and also like Rose, and also like Jane - who is the fourth and final character in this particular set) her spite and resentment is used as the vector for English’s manipulation of their setting.

Like Vriska, Damara deliberately sabotages the ability of her session members to win, helping to create a powerful foe who forces a session to be scratched.

Like Rose, Damara descends into nihilistic substance abuse to cope with feelings of emptiness.

Like Jane, Damara’s actual feelings of emptiness come about as a result of feelings of rejection in relation to betrayal from within her close friendship circle.

Ironically, while Damara’s reaction is far worse than Jane’s, her anger is actually probably far more understandable - Jane is not entitled to Jake.

The situation between Horuss and Rufioh is also similar to what will resolve between Jake and Dirk shortly - they are just basically incompatible, or at least they will be until both parties do some work on themselves, but a combination of an oblivious party who can’t stop talking about himself, and social timidity on the part of the other prevents the situation from resolving amicably.

“As Long As I Know That I Am Free”

Sometimes, encountering our ancestors doesn’t have to be a source of tension, anxiety, expectation, and fear. Porrim models parental love for Kanaya in a way that, unusually for ancestors in Homestuck, is purely beneficial for her younger counterpart.

It’s okay to identify with roles and identities that have been corrupted or hegemonized by our culture. There’s nothing intrinsically bad about being a man, or about being a woman, as long as our embodiment of those roles is emancipatory to us.

Kanaya can still be a Mom, if that’s what she wants to be. Violence and money aren’t the only form that power can take.

Sometimes, learning the right lessons is just a matter of pausing for a second and being critical of all narratives; deciding for ourselves what we want to be. It’s the lesson that Porrim has to teach Kanaya.

This is just objectively true.

Aranea positions Rufioh as both a foil to Cronus, and to herself, further strengthening the Jake as Rufioh parallels.

What I think is really interesting about all this, is if we want to read the other three trolls as Jake, Dirk, and Jane, that makes Meenah the Roxy of this group! And while Roxy has never been vicious or deliberately cruel, there’s a certain resonance between her persistent hassling of Jane, her meddling in the Jake English Sweepstakes, and the disaster that it provokes, and Meenah’s bullying - I even early on in my first readthrough took a disliking to Roxy because of what I viewed as exactly that - bullying her counterparts, assertively trying to get them to behave the way she wanted.

https://homestuck.com/story/5401

Oh man, where to even begin with Karkat riding off into the Penis Sunset. Like, the Sun in relation to Dave is persistently an icon of Bro’s surveillance of him, and then there’s his burgeoning affection for Karkat (he mentions story time with Karkat in the third Openbound suggesting that he actually took Karkat up on his offer to read through trashy Troll Romance).

Like, there’s probably something in Dave’s troubled psyche that’s on display here but damn if I know what it is. Maybe he’s ruminating on the fact that Bro would probably not be too accepting of his relationship with Karkat, hence the juxtaposition of the symbol of Bro’s hostility with the imagery of Karkat riding a dick?

https://homestuck.com/story/5404

I don’t really need to explicate much on what Rose is trying to say, I think but just in case, here’s a little rundown of what she’s trying to explain.

The apple is a symbol of an irreducible idea. Many ideas are reducible - as molecules are reducible to atoms, and atoms are reducible to quarks and stuff, so are ideas reducible to increasingly more abstracted and basic units.

The closer to notionally irreducible a thing becomes, the more difficult it becomes to express an idea, until at last, that which is truly irreducible resolves, and reveals to us the true, intrinsic nature of reality. For every complex idea, we can refer to more fundamental ideas, until at last, we arrive at an idea, which when probed, responds back simply, “It just does that.”

This, I think, is that to which we ought to give the name of God; that force so fundamental that it truly does just do that.

In the world of Homestuck, Symbols, and with them, Rituals - stories! Are manifestations of the primeval and irreducible ideas. Everything else is a universe in orbit around the Divine - the Aspects themselves, perhaps, or something more fundamental than the Aspects even.

What makes reducing these stories to the irreducible principles that they allude to so difficult is that you’re effectively trying to explain the electromagnetic force by comparing it to rubber bands, when in fact, the electromagnetic force is what makes the rubber bands behave that way in the first place.

As a Ritual, Rose’s drinking is pretty similar to John’s Dad roleplaying - an attempt at unity with Her Mom. Another empty signifier.

https://homestuck.com/story/5405

Dave is already really embracing his new role as the actually most sincere and straightforward member of the party. Lovin’ it.

It’s kind of nice that Aradia and Vriska are getting along now. That’s gratifying for personal reasons.

Ah yeah, I forgot that was ever addressed officially.

https://homestuck.com/story/5435

The man

HASS the ring.

https://homestuck.com/story/5440

And with the depressingly empty Void session established via a single flash, we shall conclude for the evening.

Tomorrow, we’ll get to know our little villain.

For now, it’s Cam signing off, Alive, and a little Annoyed that I wasted a couple hours playing the Outriders Demo this afternoon. Seriously, what an aesthetically bleak and kind of mediocre-looking class-based cover shooter.

[bramblepeltao3]

Oh hey part 2 of ? of this AU of an AU of an AU because I’m an adult and there is no one to stop me.

---

“The chronic fatigue isn’t going anywhere any time soon, but that’s okay. There are plenty of accommodations that can be made for him. I’m putting in a requisition to make the palace grounds wheelchair accessible, and if it doesn’t go through immediately I’ll just be an annoying bitch until it does. They’re getting rather sick of me up there.” Del tapped her pen on the desk, swiping on the tablet through her most recent notes. She didn’t need them, but they made her look more important and organized. “Otherwise, his physique is finally catching up to that of an average, healthy teenage boy. Though I’d appreciate it if you’d lighten up a bit on the strength training, it’s taking energy from his academics.”

Aranea stared at her from the other side of the desk, looking far off into space.

“Aaaand, you didn’t hear any of that, did you?” Del huffed.

“I did. I was just thinking….sorry about how I’ve been acting.” She crossed her arms, looking Del in the eye. “I didn’t trust you, kinda still don’t, but it’s nice to see Prompto happy again. He’s always been like a little brother to me, so, guess I got a little overprotective.”

Del felt a stab in her chest, and forced a quick smile to hide it. “I mean, isn’t ‘overprotective’ in your job description?”

“True.” Aranea relaxed into her seat. “I still don’t get your motives, but you seem like your concern is genuine. So, at least we both have that.”

“My motivations are to treat my patient until he doesn’t need me anymore.” And who knows where she’d go after that? Maybe a long vacation feet first into a volcano. “Call me idealistic, but I’m a doctor. I want to cure the sick and heal the wounded. It’s not much more complicated than that.” It was way, way more complicated than that.

And the shield could tell.

She stood up, leaned over the desk until her face was inches away from Del’s.

“Trust me, Doc, I wanna believe you.” Aranea smirked, noticing the deep red rushing over Del’s cheeks. “But I’ve been around the block here too many times. And this time, I’m not letting anyone get the jump on me.” She stood back up with a knowing glare before turning and leaving.

“Wait-” Del shot up, knocking her own chair back. 

“Oh, and the strength training was Shortcake’s idea. He insisted, actually. You want him to study ancient Altissian history instead, take it up with him and his tutor.” And she was gone, the door closing right behind her.

Del leaned a little more heavily against her desk. Maybe...maybe Aranea should know. Maybe she could help, really it couldn’t hurt could it? 

But what if she told Prompto, or what if it changed how she looked at him? What if Verstael found out? She remembered the first and only time she crossed her father so blatantly. 

No. No one needed to know. She’d just take the suspicion and blame in stride and continue her work. She already had one confidant, stressful as he was, and that would just have to be enough.

---

“A treaty?” Cor asked, looking at the young and panicked delegate’s assistant. “You can’t be serious.”

He nodded. “Marshal, Sir, the ambassador was very direct. Niflheim wishes to broker peace with Lucis.”

Bullshit.

“He wasn’t clear on the terms yet, he only said he wished for His Majesty to speak to their Emperor. And they’d like to send their prince to Insomnia as part of a goodwill tour.”

Cor felt his stomach drop. “They want to send their sixteen year old recluse over here?”

“Sir.” Monica spoke up. “I was listening on the call. It would seem they want to forge diplomatic relations between our future monarchs. I couldn’t say if it’s genuine but…”

It made sense. Noctis and Prompto were both sixteen, both royalty, and both set to inherit a generations’ old war. It was in both country's interests for the two to meet and start some sort of friendship now, if they were ever going to see peace within the next century. But inviting Imperials right into their own homes, just waltzing right through the wall like it wasn’t made specifically to keep them out. 

The risk and reward were both intense.

“Then I suppose we’ll have to inform His Majesty of this development.”

The prince of Niflheim walking through the doors of the city; Mors was surely rolling in his grave at the thought. But then, the latest intel on the boy stated he was still having health troubles despite obvious improvements. So it stood to reason that any delegation that came with the prince would have to include…

“And discuss negotiation tactics.”

---

“No way. No fucking way.” Del yelled before colliding her fist into the punching bag. She didn’t often engage in physical training, but desperate times called for desperate measures. She needed to be at her best both mentally and physically if she was going to see her work through. She couldn’t keep relying on the chancellor to protect her forever.

“You’re not being asked, you’re being ordered.” The man who couldn’t be more than an intern on the chain of importance said, unflinching as she continued to pummel the bag swinging from the ceiling.

“He’s not fit to travel that far. I’m not signing off on those orders, it would be a breach of ethics. And you can take that back to your Emperor. I don’t give a shit.” 

“Refusing to sign will be noted as an admission of failure in your duty to tend to the prince’s health.” He stated flatly.

She gave one last hard punch before turning to face the man.

“Excuse me?” Del seethed. “Letting him travel for days on end on a train, a boat, over a desert and into a city full of people who want him dead would be a failure of my duty.” 

“I don’t pretend to know what it is you do, Doctor, I am merely stating a fact. So once again, please sign this release form.” The man was unnervingly lacking in emotion.

“You can shove that form right up yo-”

“How dare you speak to a lady of the nobility with such impunity!” A voice from behind cut her off. A voice she knew. 

Oh Gods. Not this guy.

“Do you have even the slightest idea in your thick skull who this woman is? Because if you did, you would surely show more respect.” The kid, dressed in his dorky high school gym clothes with a duffel bag slung over his shoulder, intruded into the adult conversation.

“I am speaking to the prince’s personal physician, Doctor Besithia, and she is refusing to comply with the Emperor’s orders.” The man replied as if this was a completely normal thing to happen. 

“Loqi, I swear to the fucking Gods, what are you doing?” Del rubbed her hands between her eyes. It was only a matter of time before she’d run into this guy again but she really hoped it wouldn’t be this soon.

“There is no need for the doctor to sign a release, she’s going with the prince to Insomnia.”

“Ha! Okay, wow, this is certainly not the correct venue for either of you to be making these decisions for me.” She said, standing there in her gym shorts and sports bra, sweaty and red. 

“His Imperial Highness put me in charge of the delegation, I’ve already made arrangements for you to be part of it.” Loqi said with unearned confidence. “You have nothing to fear from the Lucians, my lady, Highwind and I will be there to protect you.”

“I’ll have to draft a new form then.” The man muttered before leaving.

“Yeah, whatever, okay, what delegation? What the fuck is even going on and why out of everyone possible were you put in charge of it?” What she really wanted to scream was why was this guy put in charge of anything involving her?

“The Emperor wishes to broker a peace treaty with the Lucians, and plans to send his highness prince Prompto to act as ambassador.” Loqi said, making a show of averting his eyes from her.

“Oh, okay. So the prince who has no experience with foreign relations or, well, being around more than three people at a time is going to go into the heart of the country we’ve been at war with for decades, and you’re in charge of the whole thing?” Del asked.

“That is correct, my lady.”

Del sighed. “So it’s a death trap.”

“My lady I can assure you no Lucian will even so much as touch you during this tour. Not even their Immortal. And I welcome him to try.”

“Oh Gods you’re still on about that, fucking shit, dude.”

Ten years ago Delphia made the biggest mistake of her life. She’d been sent away to a strict private academy after her father discovered the second biggest mistake of her life. And there, she met Loqi Tummelt. A boy one year below her who was creepily obsessed with Cor Leonis. And one day, in an attempt to make him shut the fuck up for just one gods damned minute, she’d made the mistake of telling the kid she’d met The Immortal.

“Yeah, he’s an idiot and not that impressive like at all, so can you please cool it with this weird obsession?” She remembered telling him.

She’d been extra mean on purpose, as she did with everyone she met during that time, to make sure he’d never want to speak to her ever again.

But this kid, this freaking kid, all he heard was ‘I’ve met your weird rival hero’. And that was it. He refused to leave her alone since.

Medical school was nice specifically because he wasn’t there.

But now he was here.

Great.

He made a show of looking around, seemingly to make sure they were alone.

“I know your secret, my lady, and though I cannot begin to understand I will protect it with my life.”

Her what?

“I didn’t mean to overhear, but whatever reason you must hide the truth of your birth, it doesn’t change who you are.”

Her WHAT?

“I’ll show you, Princess Delphia.” He whispered. “Soon, I’ll prove to you and everyone else once and for all my true strength. And then, I’ll finally be worthy of taking your hand.”

HER

WHAT

Del instinctively pulled both hands up to the sides of her face. “Okay, first off all it's Doctor. I am Doctor Besithia to you. I did not bust my ass in school to not be called Doctor. And whatever it is you think you overheard, you didn’t. I’m not a-”

...Loqi was the one who eavesdropped on them all those months ago. He heard her call Prompto her brother. And that was his takeaway. 

Fuck.

FUCK!

“You little shit, you were eavesdropping on me.” 

“Your secret is safe, I swear it. Now. Please be packed and prepared to depart for Lucis by this coming Sunday. The journey will be long, and we’ll require your expertise to ensure the prince’s safety.” He bowed. 

And he left.

And after a moment, finally alone in the quiet walls of the gym, Delphia screamed.

---

Prompto could scream. A whole week spent preparing himself mentally for this trip wasn’t enough. He just could not account for the absolute rush of emotion he would feel stepping onto a train for the first time.

It hadn’t even begun to move yet. 

But it’s what the train represented that mattered. His second chance. His more certain future. His tiny little taste of freedom. It was all here, packed and loaded on to this train. This was something he knew he could never, ever forget.

But just to be on the safe side…

“Hey Nea, say cheese!” He chirped before taking a perfectly terribly timed selfie.

Aranea blinked before frowning at him. “Alright, whose bright idea was it to give Shortcake a camera?”

“Uncle Ardyn!” Prompto said, full of joy. He rarely got to see the chancellor but when he did the man was always bringing him the best gifts.

Doctor Del looked at him with surprise from across the train car.

“Ooh, Del, gotta get one with you too!” He slid over next to her, lifting his camera. “Smile!” Prompto said before clicking the shutter.

“You’re in high spirits today.” Aranea looked at him with a smile.

He shot back up, standing between the two of them. “Yeah, I’m just...I’m really optimistic. I know this trip is gonna be great.” The destination, well...that was left to be seen. He felt a rush of embarrassment wash over him, like everyone in the train car was staring at him. Probably because they were. 

“I’m glad you’re well enough to enjoy this, Prompto.” Del said, also smiling.

Okay, now he was super embarrassed.”Couldn’t of done it without you girls!” He said, pointing at his doctor and his shield.

...the much older than him doctor and shield who were full grown women he just called girls.

“I-I mean…”

“Sit down, Shortcake, you look like you’re gonna pass out.”

He did so, and took some time to look out the window as the sound of steam releasing hissed and the train began to move with a jolt. The scenery began to move past him, faster and faster, until he thought they couldn’t possibly go any faster.

And then somehow they did.

It wasn’t long before the motion began to sit wrong in his stomach, and he thought perhaps he should spend some time going through the enormous notebook of intel that was handed to him just this morning.

He opened it and looked at the first page. A dossier on Lucis’ prince. Noctis Lucis Caelum. He was only a couple of months older than Prompto, which was a relief. If he was way older or younger this would’ve been a weird visit. He turned the page and suddenly, he was face to face with him. A photograph of prince Noctis: dark hair, mysterious eyes, an obvious build of muscle and good health.

Prompto felt himself begin to sweat even on this air conditioned train. Who was he fooling? While he’d spent the last eight years bed ridden and alone, this prince was surely doing what princes are supposed to do. Training, studying, a perfect skincare routine, maybe he was even good at art and dancing! Noctis just looked like the perfect model of nobility.

And here was Prompto. Pale skin, droopy hair, red dots all over his face, weak, talentless, and far behind in anything academic a prince should be skilled in by sixteen. He frowned at his reflection in the window. This was a mistake. Surely, it had to be. He couldn’t even compare to Noctis. The Insomnian court would take one look at him, laugh, and send the delegation back. Then they’d just wait for him to take the throne one day so they could easily overthrow him.

That’s exactly what was going to happen.

His downward thought spiral was interrupted by the sound of the train car door slamming open. The leader of this mission, General Loqi Tummelt, stepped in. He was still dressed in his military finery even though they weren’t due in Lucis for a long while yet. He seemed like that kinda guy though, the sort who took a lot of pride in his heritage and rank. No wonder his father trusted him with such a precarious mission!

“Your Imperial highness, ladies, or journey has-”

“Doctor.”

Prompto looked over at Del, who had interrupted the man with little regard for his status.

“We’ve been over this. Address me as doctor before my gender, please and thank you.” She frowned.

“Yeah, actually. You’ll address me as Commodore, Tummelt. Unlike Lemon Tart over there, I’m not even a noblewoman. So get your shit together before you open your mouth again.”

Prompto felt like he might just shrink from the awkwardness taking place around him.

“Just Prompto is fine!” He blurted out before realizing how stupid that was.

Loqi took a long breath before continuing. “Doctor. Commodore. Just Prompto. Our journey has begun. In due time we will be upon our enemy’s doorstep. And then a true battle of wits will begin. Be sure you’re prepared for anything.”

“Oh, is that all?” Aranea asked.

“Wow dude, very helpful.” Del sneered.

“Like we didn’t already know that.”

“Fucking useless, this guy.”

“I cannot believe you addressed the prince like that.”

“Get it together, Loqi.”

“Yeah get your shit together Loqi.”

The two women shot insult after insult at the general with no regard whatsoever for his rank of station. It was...terrifying.

Loqi cleared his throat. “I’ll be in the first cabin should you require my assistance.” He said before leaving back from where he came from.

A tense silence settled in the air that threatened to choke him out. Prompto felt that familiar tingle of anxiety creeping up his spine, about to reach out and burst through in tears until he heard Aranea begin to laugh.

And then Del started laughing.

And then both of them were laughing harder.

“Can you believe that guy?” Del asked, rubbing at her eye.

“Gods, he is such a pain in the ass.” Aranea smirked.

“You’re telling me, I went to high school with him. Cannot believe he somehow made it this far.”

“Oh you’ve never heard of failing up? Pretty common around here.”

These women were brutal. They were mean, and sharp, and cut right through whoever was in their path without remorse. 

“Hey, Prom, you doing alright?” Aranea asked. “You’re looking a little pale there.”

“Oh!” Del jumped from her seat and sat next to him, putting a hand on his forehead. “Are you nauseous? Motion sickness is common on trains. I packed some dramamine in my bag, let me just-”

These women took no one’s shit and demanded respect where it was due. They were ruthless.

And they were both like older sisters fussing over him with care and…

Huh.

“I’m okay, really.” Prompto said. And he was.

---

Cor steeled his nerves one last time. The delegation was on their doorstep. They were either about to usher in a new era of peace, or make the biggest mistake in Lucis’ entire history.

But also the little kid who was really mean and shitty was all grown up and part of it. 

Cor had to figure she wasn’t that much different from her younger self. From what little intel they could scrape, she’d pissed off her father at one point. In retaliation she’d been banished away to private school in Gralea, got her act together, and got into medical school easily as a legacy applicant (Though her grades were part of the intel. She didn’t need that family name to get into whatever school she wanted.)

The most surprising thing in that whole file, however, was that she’d applied to the Insomnian Medical Institute. There were only so many foreign students accepted every year, and she was most likely disqualified because of her name. The irony was immense.

“Everything’s in order here. Status, Drautos?” Cor asked through the mic on his ear piece. The glaive had their orders, the crownsguard theres. The need for hospitality was great, and security even greater.

Everyone was playing their part. And that included Insomnia’s own civilians. It appeared the population was split in half in their opinions: one side embracing the idea of peace, one calling it a hoax and threatening violence upon the visitors.

Regis had made it quite clear they intended to greet the prince of Niflheim as a guest. Nothing more, nothing less.

“Free and clear, standing by.” Cor’s colleague reported into his ear. 

He crossed his arms behind his back, standing by his king’s side. On the other, the prince was reluctantly in his own royal regalia which did not quite fit him as well as his father had hoped.

Scientia had done his best.

Their intel on the prince was lacking, of course. Hard to get much information on someone who rarely left his heavily guarded room. But Cor knew enough. He knew where that kid came from. And he knew the woman who had been photographed again and again at his side.There was hope. Just a little.

There was always the chance Prompto was nothing more than a puppet, an unwilling actor in a show meant to destroy everything Cor held dear.

So vigilant he stayed, with a small layer of hope on top.

He hoped that little kid was still the rebellious little shithead who denounced everything her parents stood for and was ready to burn everything down.

That would work out quite well.