#we were alll...........like that............
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it's so crazy how everyone on earth was once someone's newborn baby. i'm going to go and walk on some train tracks
#we were alll...........like that............#like everyone my boss my doctor the ppl on the news you were in a blanket or fabric and you were someone's child fo r real..
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sorry but do you ever think about the fact that the bernard we have today is a direct amalgamation of everything that happened in his past and i know that sound like such an obvious statement to say but it actually kills me to know that you can draw a direct line from who he is today all the way back to that sixteen year old boy who watched his best friend bleed out. like it is the defining moment in his life. it fundamentally shaped who he is and the person he's become. he is the bernard we know and love not despite the grieves shooting but because of it. because the gangs all got together and shot up his school. because tim walked out of that room with nothing but a baseball bat. because his darla got shot. because he watched her gasp and cry as she died. because he watched the blood coagulate around the wound. because he sat there and held her hand as her life drained out of her. because he walked into school that day with a joke he knew would make her laugh and her nose would scrunch up and she'd snort a little and tim would roll his eyes at him and call him ridiculous and instead he walked out with a bloody white shirt, blood under his fingernails, and two friends less. because, even now, almost half a decade out from the shooting, he thinks that if he closes his eyes, he will always be that stupid, scared little sixteen year old, holding the cooling body of dead best friend.
#there is a direct throughline from the boy we meet in robin 121 all the way to man tim reconnects with in urban legends 4#like maybe you guys have other interpretations of it but to me this is *the* defining moment in his life#and that's not to say that he perpetually bound to this traumatic event but it impacted him sooo much that his life is now divided#before shooting and after shooting#like you cannot tell me him falling into the cult was just something that happened to him#it happened bc he was in such a bad place from watching his friend die and then on top of that he loses contact with tim!!!!#this is his canon event!!!!#if you took it away from him if you made it so that he never had to go through it#the bernard we would get would not be the same bernard we got in urb leg4 and tdr#does it not make you want to chew on drywall that to get to the bear we love he has watch his darla die first????#head in hands head in hands#and it wasnt like batman came immediately after darls died!!! iirc they had to wait a little before he came#which means!!!!! alll those kids but bear esp had to sit in that room with darls' dead body until batman came!!!!!#do you think he cried and held her hand until batman came??? do you think he begged her not to go??? or do you think he told her#stories and made promises of all the things they were gonna do after they got out??? do you think he put pressure on the wound and#watched as the blood soaked through the jacket they were using as a towel??? and when she finally passed do you think he bit his lip#clean through to stop himself from wailing? bc if he's too loud the gunmen will hear them and he cannot be the reason jay from#history dies#auuuugh i cant fucking do this anymore#bernard dowd#timbern#darla aquista#louis grieve trio
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this isnt as long as before but i just cannot stop thinking about this, why i dislike story and lore boils down to these main point
--the ending feels unsatisfying as hell even if i ignore everything i dont like about how the game treated zelda and ganondorf, the ending itself just feels, despite being presented as super epic an touching, incredibly empty to me and part of it is that it feels like an unearned return to status quo of course i didnt think zelda would stay a dragon and i actually wanted to help her, which is why i kept trying to hunt down impa since she said shes gonna search for a way for us to help zelda, bc i wanted to!! i was eager to help her!
i fully hoped and kinda expected that thered either be some kind of dragon dungeon (think, the water dragon from okami) tho that would be difficult since you can get items from her so i ended up thinking before going into the end thered be a mission with impa (or at least given to you from her) where she found answers in ancient scripts (that she told you she would look through) and that you need to find a special lil thing that will help zelda undragonfy, like some sort of ultra secret forbidden enigma stone able to reverse dragon transformations kinda deal (golden opportunity to make you go and talk to the yiga bc they might know or even own some ancient texts) that youd keep in your inventory until the very end and after you kill dragondorf (pretty mortal for becoming an immortal dragon huh) you take it out and use it, undragonfying zelda and ending in a similar epic falling and paralel to the beginning way
... and instead impa stays in the house and only has a few repeating dialog boxes and does nothing and you cant do anything bc in the end you just get randomly teleported (and stripped of your clothing AGAIN) into some weird ethereal plane somehow?? with the ghost of long ass dead sonia and apparently not as gone as i thought rauru (seriously i felt sad when he went poof at the end of the tutorial but i guess i shouldnt have) awkwardly blasting dragon zelda with some magic tm and its all reversed no problem (heck me for caring i guess) turns out helping her was killing an evil guy we never really knew and mineru just kinda says lol its bc time and light magic i guess lol as an explanation
like i really wanted to go and help zelda! i was motivated to do it and spent HOURS trying to find impa again but i wasnt allowed to do anything bc zelda gets saved by some deus ex machina bs in the end anyway, what a fool i was, of course killing the evil guy is the solution to everything >:( (and no i dont care if its meant as in uwu sonia and rauru wanted to help one last time uwu bc it doesnt change how unsatisfying it was to watch it all just kinda happen)
--point two is just how much totk feels like its trying to REPLACE botw instead of being a sequel, its not building on anything of it its ripping out the fundation and building its own thing in its place, like i was so excited to see what happened to the titans, and all the sheikah tech what they mabe had done in all that time now that theres a tech enthusiastic girl as the head of the monarchy, maybe even find out more about them and instead its just all ... gone with not explanation? theres isnt even a LAME explanation, its just gone?? you never find out what the ancient energy actually was, and why there were concentrations of it in the regions with the ancient furnace (well heck it didnt even have anything to do with ganondorf actualyl bc that would have been too interesting) bc that was so intrigueing?? like yeah where DID it come from and why is it there ?? and oh suddendly hey look theres an even MORE ancient and even MORE advanced civilization thats way COOLER and BETTER than the ancient sheikah now, they also built stuff everywhere and have been here ALL ALONG cant you see its everywhere!! and its the only thing everyone cares about all of the sudden, all evdidence of the ancient sheikah tech was scraped of the earth so there literally only being some guardian parts on top of the hateno lab feels like an oversight now bc everything lese was to thourohgly wiped of the map- for no reason even?? like im totalls fine with it being useless and not working anymore but .... why remove it like it was wiped from history?? and then they have the gall to mention the happenings of botw like, twice in the entire game but still just give you the most basic summary of it mentioned on a sidenote with again not even a hint what happened to all of it
wouldnt there have been the golden opportunity to use it to access the new parts and map points that changed?? like a shrine thats fallen into the underground, an access to caves and the underground in the broken and collapsed elevator tube of a sheikah srhine?? maybe even a broken interior of an old shrine, like the room you get put into with the puzzle and where the monk once were broken and half overgrown in the udnerground? some left over construction site where you can see oh thats how the ancient sheikah got all that tech underground, bc they all had access to it and built it there to then rise up when its needed? maybe even making use of the old sonau sites since they frequnetly built their srhines within those ruins?? that the ancient sheikah found em and put the ruins to use? to research it and built their own stuff from it? it wouldnt have to have any focus, literally just part of the enviroment even
really everything totk does is like -forget botw ever happend, look how much cooler and better i am, who cares about sheikah stuff sonau are the new cool guys that came out of nowhere but now apparently have been everywhere all along actually-
i LOVE botw and with it feeling much more like its attempting to replace botw instead of building its story and world further every reference to botw i found felt like a slap in the face instead, oh look where the shrine of life used to be isnt even a hint left of sheikah tech somehow, and also right under it is the lake of healing filled with sonau structure bc ACTUALLY they were here FIRST bc they are so cool omg you guys
dare i say it feel a little like they wanted to make an entirely different version of botw basically, but wanted to reuse the map and models so they just said yeah uhhhh its totally a sequel yeah yeha that makes sense, its not erasing botw and doing essentiall the same thing again but bigger cooler and better (tm) its just uuh a ...sequel ye.
#ganondoodles talks#totk spoilers#totk#sorry i got longer again#also what was calamtiy ganon then#if it was ganondorf trying to resurrect himself outside of the seal then ... wouldnt he ... mention it or something or anyoone no?#also dont like how all the teasers made it seem like there was soem great mystery as to how gan got down there-#.. actually how DID he get down there thats a pretty weird place to go to war too#-aynway and WHO did this to him omg he looks in pain maybe theres more to it alll omg#and then its just ... yeah cool guy tm sealed him#oh ... ok#why would you tease us with a good time then bring stale chips and an empty beer can you have brought with you three times before already#like i get we love to read more into stuff that isnt there#but they were oh so vageu with the teasers and stuff we got to see when its all just#the same schlok but even more tasteless than before
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I remember when I enter motogp and some people say to me as reference "ducati is like the red bull" not is not shut up I wish it was like that and pecco got to win evry single race ahead of evryvady by 20 seconds and gettin pole left and right plse I wish that was th case 😭
#like plae ojala pecco i wish gigi was kike newy and ducati were the evil empire that red bull is and they were#making you winn by alll the chances they got 😭#hello motogp is not f1 that is not happening#and is also why last season when evydary was hating on pecco and ducati winning i dint get it (still dont do it completely)#cause at lest we got diferent winners and atcual championship fight 😭#motogp#f1#red bull racing#max verstappen#pecco bagnaia
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i need him in a way that is concerning to feminism
#im not a woman i just love that phrase so much#anyways sorry i havent been posting like at all ive been literally just playing botw#this is the ideal body structure for a man yall just haters#also whatever gender link has. thats me. i want that.#and honest to god its so much fun ive been having a blast. most of the time#some puzzles do suck dick and balls tho#and like. 10k rupees for a great fairy? jesus christ miss. what the scallop#but overall 10/10 experience cant wait to get to totk#unrelated to sidon but vaguely related to the post#me and my friends were going back and forth at lunch w sum fictional hear me outs#(no one wanted to hear me out for sidon (💔💔💔 theyre just haters))#we alll agreed that live action rodrick heffley (from the first two movies) is the ideal man. idc what yall say#one of them did say smth like oh you cant just put eyeliner on a man and call him hot#when like that's literally the rules?? sorry man i dont make them i just enforce em#but like thats written in lgbt law???#smh chat#anyways#im tired#my stuff#oh god that was a ramble#im so normal chat
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google search how do i stop missing her so much i can't breathe
#she's literally not all that. i am 100% out of her league.#i cannot stress how much this girl does not deserve to have me pining over her and missing her and crying about her months after the fact#my standards are SO low and she did not fucking meet bare fucking minimum#and yet i'm still like. she could call me and ask me to take her back and i'd do it in a heartbeat#anyway lol i had a dream about my ex girlfriend ibn which we were back together (and also both working at an aquarium?? idk)#and now i'm like. ugh.#also imagine asking out a kind loving girl who is head over heels in love with you and would do anything for you#treating her awfully and breaking her heart AND NOT EVEN GIVING BACK THE FUCKING BOOKS YOU BORROWED!#i'm just saying lol. i wish someone felt about me the way i feel about her#and i wish she wasn't so unbelievably fucking immature#and i wish i had better taste in women#and i wish i didn't still think about her alll the time#okay i'm done i swear i'm so done#talking to strangers on foreign phones
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i do think harry bringing out stormzy at london's ono in 2019 was a perfect encapsulation of him as a solo artist
#walk with me#the headlines alll week were harry vs stormzy harry vs stormzy for the number one album#so he brings him out#and doesnt try to make himself seem cooler or change anything about how he performs#hes just this dude in his nice yellow suit bopping his head along to stormzy#shouting along random lyrics and just like screaming with the crowd#like absolutely staying in his own lane#while celebrating stormzy#and being 100% himself#and doing something really kind and really cool in the process#all while being very entertaining#man fine line era what we had what we had what we had
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oh its like fucking over
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paper bag by fiona apple playing while I'm in urban outfitters <333 trying and failing to find a cute dress that will fit me <33333 they really want me to kill myself :)
#it was actually the other day but i saved this to my drafts but now im ready to complain so#vent in tags ->#i have to dind a dress to wear to my uncles wedding and i cannot find a single nice plus size dress anywhere#and i hate being fat#im very much trying to turn a new leaf and be a little more body positive and such#but!!!!!!#i can't <3#i spent yearsssss of my life obsessing over my weight tho and it got me nowhere i just gained and lost the same 50lbs for the whole of my#teenage years#and i have to be kinder to myself#and yes i am still actively trying to lose wight but!!!!#i am trying to be less of a yoyo dieter and really try to get away from binge eating and all of my other#really disordered eating habits#i just wanna eat like a normal person#exercise like a normal person and have my body reflect that#and i wanna be able to find a cute little dress in a shop :(#it is so humiliating to be fat#and i have lost weight#which is nice anc i got a lot of comments on it at first#which was not as nice cuz all i heard was#YOU WERE FAT AND WE ALLL FUCKING NOTICED#so <33333#idk i just feel like shit :)#weight loss tw#tw ed
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me when i am faced with the reality that other ppl esl my 'old' peers are smart. or rich or at least very financially well off. don't have anxiety. are achieving things. or sometimes all 4 simultaneously
#idk like genuinely i dont want or care for any of tht#like being financially secure enough to just fuck off n live in solitary peace is alll i need#not necessarily not working but like at the end of day it's just me doing what i love with whom i love (myself)#but it's i guess always tht back of my head#how i was apparently deemed very smart all thru school#top grades from day one of primarg until at least like form 3 of secondary#and even after#but it's like now im stupid i cant even write my thesis#n im not doing anything with my life except trying my hardest to escape it#n it feels like everyone is judging me#like aha yh we always new u were stupid n wld nvr amount to anything look at me now and look at u#ipuve got ur karma u mean little bitch n u deserve it hahah#lmao#ignore me#cloud nonsense
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my mom isn’t letting my dad go back to his office bc him being out of the house stresses her out and makes her have a flare up and it’s like kind of insane. like i understand why the idea of him doing that would make her panicky and angry as someone who also struggles w separation anxiety and abandonment shit / has physical symptoms from that kind of stress (though not to the same degree ofc) but also he is a grown man. he should be allowed to go to his office and not have to shape his entire life around her needs. and she keeps guilt tripping him out of it and it’s impacting his quality of life a lot and the whole thing is kind of… hm
#purrs#delete later#also she’s guilt tripping me into coming to the stupid fucking potluck on sunday bc she needs the extra help and it’s like… what are you#gonna do when i move out. like i am a grown woman and i should be able to choose how i spend my two precious weekend days. and my dad is a#grown man and he should be able to choose where he works. like is that not a little bit insane. i get it but also….. i do think it s kind of#fucked ip that it’s her way or the highway and her needs take priority over all of ours and she’s asking us to bend to what she wants when#she wants it. like i get it bc she’s sick but it’s not fair for her to expect that from my dad especially. particularly when me and my#brother are back at work / school in more high risk environments than my dad who would be in a private office alll day. and the thing is no#one is brave enough to all her on it bc if we did it would be the END of the world. she even threw a fit on my dads bday and complained bc#the things he wanted to do were things she didn’t want to do like all the man wanted to do was go mini golfing and when that wasn’t good#enough he just wanted to go on a walk and my mom complained the whole time and also scoffed the movie he wanted to watch and said it was#boring and it’s like… wtf it’s HIS birthday??? but what do you expect from the woman who (and in fairness her friends got her these as gifts#but still) has TWO kitchen items that say some variation of ‘a marriage is when one is always right and the other is always the husband’ 💀#i look at that little plaque every night bc it’s in front of the sink when im doing dishes and it makes me so fucking angry. like my dad is#a whole fucking person and he can be right too and he deserves to make choices and be happy and not have his wife put him down all the time.#idk. and she puts down his family all the time too and complains when he wants to do the most reasonable things for his own enjoyment that#don’t align with hers and criticizes his interests all the time and it just sucks to see. he never shows hurt or anything so idk how he#feels about it but it makes me so angry and sad and when i tell her to stop she just lashes out at me so. 🤪. like how do we get her to stop#making her needs more important than everyone else’s bc… she may be our mom / his wife / whateger but that doesn’t make her queen. no one is#(andalso this has only gotten worse bc of covid / her being sick. like this has been a lifelong thing it’s just it’s a lot worse now bc the#circumstances gave her room / forced her to have to take up more space. and it’s just so frustrating. i get it. but none of us are pawns or#dolls or subordinates or anything. there’s 5 adults here and we should all be able to make choices and not be guilt tripped by her. lol#)
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Me as a Gonkillu fan
#personal#SINCE THE WEST SIDE OF THE FANDOM WANTS TO CRAM ALL IT UNDER KG OR ONLY DOES KG I JUST USE IT TO MY ADVANTAGE#THE GONKI FANDOM DOESNT EXIST OVER HERE SO AS FAR AS IM CONCERNED OH NO WHATS GONNA HAPPEN TO KGGG?!#But since they wanna act like Gonki don’t exist that means#Gonki is still canon 😤#Tehehehe#Since we don’t exist over here and we are just in our smol little corner used to being ignored and creating the own content we wanna see#anyway#this doesn’t effect us in the least#ahhhh good day to be a Gonki#Since I don’t listen to fandom anyway the only word I follow is myyy own#I don’t need anyones approval#i already have alll the canon material I need the director and Ki’s va that was good enough for me and even if they never said anything#I still didn’t need anyone’s approval if I say GonKi is canon to me it is#When everyone’s always telling you how wrong you are or harassing you it just becomes a joke#That I should care what anyone says#I’m just saying if you were a gonki fan you’d be sitting easy rn cuz we are smol and mighty and we listen to no one#we don’t let main fandom dictate what we are allowed to do#I WILL DO SHORT TINY KI 😤#KI WILL WEAR CUTE PASTELS#AND I WILL ALWAYS STAND UP FOR THE LITTLE GUYS#AND GALS AND NON BINARY PALS#And they do exist I’ve gotten plenty of discord messages of people to afraid to interact cuz it doesn’t fit with what the main fandom wants#I AM THE QUEEN OF YOU CANNOT STOP ME#A proud nobody till the day I die! After all nobodies have the best names#Oooh mine would be#Ndywix#SEE COOL
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Is that THEE bodyguard that’s with them?
if you mean the one from the eras tour that you can also see in some awards szn stuff then i think yes! hope he has fun in paris too LOL security detail guys are fun dudes- it doesn't surprise me that re: that eras tour hug austin seems to really like him.
#and they alll have stories lolol when i/a group i was with needed detail for a march for our lives event years ago there was a point where#we were all butts on the floor just letting one of them tell us stories like circle time as though we were pre schoolers not 18-22 year old#gossip time with mollie
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I hope all the people setting off all the large loud and clearly illegal fireworks now and in the days to come that are scaring my cats and all the critters in my yard fuckin blow their hands off 🙂✌️
#there's these ppl down the street who've had ALLL this like American flag decor out since june 1st#and we were coming home from the movies and I was like man you know those assholes are gonna be awful on the 4th#and my dad was like yeah but hey maybe they'll set all their flag decorations on fire on accident!!#I am forever and always firmly camp 'California has so many wildfires every year fireworks should be banned state wide'#and like. they should fine ppl exorbitant amounts just for having them. any of them. no more#oh safe and sane are fine!#like no fireworks are safe and sane in a state with this many fires but ok!#erin explains it all
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so. uh.
we’re really going to lose Mason to some other prem club aren’t we
#I’m not trying to give in to the ALLL these rumors but like. it’s march. doesn’t look so good rn#this TEW Much#like the amount that has changed in the past year and a half with this club could make a bitch go mad#I don’t like it no thank you#we were really already talking about him and Reece being future captains for the club and all of that#chelsea fc
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IM LAUGHING SO FUCKING HARD
#THE STANDARD BANNER DEHYA LEAK WAS TRUE#GDJFUDJDJJFJJFFKJF im fucking dying they rlly made a shit kit and were like uwaghagh put her in the trash!!!#omg we were alll like this is so fucking fake AND YET 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
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