#like you cannot tell me him falling into the cult was just something that happened to him
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tacitusk1llwhore · 3 days ago
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What's up, y'all? This post has been wildly anticipated, and I have literally spent days on it. So let's get right into it, yeah? The Van Der Linde Gang is not a family; it is not a group of down-and-outs living outside the law for freedom (not entirely). It is, in fact, a cult, or, at the very least, most of the time operates like a cult would. To understand this we have to know exactly what a cult is, so what is the definition of a cult? A cult (as according to Google) is a misplaced or excessive admiration for a particular person or thing. This is one of the many definitions. So there you are; it's a cult, case closed! Just kidding, I wouldn't make it that easy, so let's look deeper into cult mentality and how it relates to the VDL gang.
Let's look first at what some characteristics of a cult leader are, and then let's match them to Dutch as a person. Cult leaders are incredibly charismatic; they come off as personable, as these wonderful, easygoing people who accept those as they are and bring in those who have been deemed by society as undesirable. But what makes them so very charismatic? How is it so easy for them to fall into this role? Having an image of yourself rooted in grandiosity, not reality. But Dutch isn't like that! You cry, to which I say—hold on, I'm getting there. Dutch is like that; Dutch has always been like that. In the traditional cult sense, he doesn't believe himself to be god, nor does he proclaim himself supreme or anything that we typically associate with cults. What does he do then? He corrects himself; he blame-shifts, and often. One of the first hints that I got that maybe this guy isn't as cool as I thought he was was all the way in Colter. When speaking to Charles, Dutch tells him to get indoors, on account of the cold and his injured hand. This seems so sweet, something from genuine concern and care for someone under his leadership. Until he slips up in his language and says, "I—We need you strong." He starts off simply stating that he himself needs Charles strong, greatly overestimating the true need for Charles amongst the other gang members. Charles provides for the gang in the form of food, money, and little repairs. If something were to happen to Charles day-to-day, it wouldn't affect Dutch all that much. Who would it affect? Those that cannot hunt for themselves, Abigail, who can't leave camp on account of her son, those that rely on the men of the gang to provide for them. If there was a food shortage in the gang, Dutch would be just fine; he can hunt for himself. You know who probably can't? Tilly or Mary-Beth. By first and foremost stating that Dutch himself needs Charles strong before he switches to include everyone, we see the first sign of his exaggerated sense of self-importance. His use for Charles is exploitation; he can exploit his position, his lack of connection outside of the gang, to make him money. Others use it for Charles's basic necessities. It is also well known that Dutch is allergic to accountability, as we see in the phrase "You'll keep doubting me and we'll keep failing." This is said to Arthur after yet another one of Dutch's poorly executed and subsequently failed plans, through no fault of Arthur. Dutch needs a scapegoat; he cannot fathom that he himself makes poor choices, and so he narrows his perception, forcing a round peg through a square hole to frame himself as perfect. It was Abigail's fault that Hosea died; it's Arthur's doubt that makes their jobs not run smoothly; John isn't loyal anymore because of Abigail. Never once do we see Dutch take accountability, and we shouldn't expect him to, not when his sense of self is so insanely inflated.
Behaviors and body language also play into this; Dutch is very often seen standing, chest puffed, shoulders back, with a cigar in hand. He will stare off in silence, giving us this illusion that he's thinking, that he has all of these wonderful ideas running through his head so fast he simply has to take a pause to go through them all, to contemplate. Did you know that body language amongst cult leaders is typically comparable? This powerful, almost Superman-like pose is a common one amongst them; it exhibits power and confidence, combined with subtle, casual movements or actions, like smoking a cigar or rubbing the temples. This can and does give the illusion of not only intelligence but also power and empathy or deep contemplation. Dutch also dresses luxuriously; he wants to stand out against the gang as this intellectual genius. He wants to seem so much more well educated, with so much more money, so these people who are more intelligent than him but less confident or well off look at him and say, "Wow, I should follow him; he's doing well for himself; he's confident; he knows best." When in reality it's all a ruse, and body language, the set apart from the others, is another way he does this.
Now let's look at what I think is one of the most cult-like aspects of the VDL gang, and that is how they got their members. So many people say, "Oh well, how could anyone ever join a cult?" "Why not just leave?" "You'd have to be stupid to join a cult!" But the thing is, people do not purposely join cults. People are lured into cults in multiple ways: the promise of money, freedom, love, luxury, but most of all, family. You know who the prime targets for cults are? The marginalized, the poor, as well as the young, the naive, and the downtrodden. Take the analogy of the frog in water: if you slowly turn up the heat, the frog will boil alive—such can be applied to cults; no cult starts with these crazy behaviors, rules, or rituals; they condition you slowly, they put you into a position in which it is impossible to leave, and when you realize the truth, it's too late. Let's look at the stories of some of the members of the VDL gang, how they came to be. Arthur, taken off the streets after his abusive father was hanged, leaving him orphaned and destitute; John, saved from a mob trying to hang him for thieving, this, of course, after he was also orphaned and had run from an orphanage (orphanages in the 1800s were child workhouses); Tilly, who was rescued after running from her kidnappers, after killing one of them to escape. Javier, freshly in the US, running into Dutch while the pair were stealing chickens, Charles, a loner with no family who had been on his own for decades, accepted into the first group he's known that has treated him fairly. What do these stories all have in common? These people were all at their most vulnerable when they were picked up by Dutch; they all were destitute, poor, hungry, afraid, or searching for a place to belong. It's easy to indoctrinate those that have nothing waiting for them on the outside. Dutch preys on people who have nothing, because when you give people with nothing something—you buy their loyalty right with it.
These people are so very loyal to Dutch that they would die for him; they literally state it (or at least Arthur does). The framing of a family is also a common tactic; if you make these people see you as one big family, not little worker bees, you can convince them anything they do for you is doing something for their family—for the greater good, when in reality, it's for you—it's for your gain. These men are called "Dutch's Boys." This implies a fatherly role, almost infantilizing those under the leader and bolstering their importance within the dynamic. These men have killed, stolen, robbed, kidnapped, and done the worst of the worst for Dutch, under the guise of a better life for them and these people they care about, when in reality it's for Dutch and his ideas that never included them in the end. The rules themselves also point to a cultish dynamic; if you rat, or talk, or are considered a traitor in any way, you are killed. Molly was not the first to be killed for this; I doubt she was even the second. It was so bad at the end that people were sneaking away in the night; they knew truly they were never just free to leave, the thought, or fact, rather, that they would be potentially murdered in front of their fellow camp members outweighing any want or wish for goodbyes. Let this be a reminder that most of these people were so indoctrinated they watched a woman they had lived with and cared for be murdered in cold blood, then be burned rather than buried (a sign of disrespect then), and didn't say anything; they didn't try to stop it; they didn't even defend Molly. Uncle actually brought her back, knowing that she was drunk and hysterical, probably knowing what the outcome would be. We see Arthur, who was realizing the error of his ways and the error of the gang, try and stop things, and later Karen go off on Grimshaw in her drunken state, but besides looking a little shocked and then going right back to work, no one did anything or said anything. Reminder: that's not normal. Killing someone for a betrayal (that turned out to be untrue without further evidence in front of a group of people and presumably a child) with such ease and to state, "It's the rules." As an explanation, it is not a family unit; it is a cult.
I will say that just because this is a cult doesn't mean that Arthur seeing the gang as a family or those members calling themselves family is any less true. That dynamic was real for them,that love was real based upon personal relationships and at some point probably real for Dutch, but realizing that he could get away with anything because he gave these people everything turned slowly into something far more sinister. It went from taking from the rich, taking in the downtrodden to help them to, I saved you; now go do my bidding. These people saw him, saw one another as family, as friends and brothers, and he saw them as chess pieces; he states as much. Again, frog in hot water.
Is the VDL a cult? In many ways, yes—common cult tactics are used by the leader, including love bombing to the women and those who he has raised. Calling Arthur son, knowing he has no father, only when he wants something is manipulation; his interactions and the implications of the change in relationship between him and Molly also imply this. The VDL was never a true family as Dutch would have them believe or have us believe. Arthur is an unreliable narrator in that regard; that love was real, absolutely, but the unit, the scenario, wasn't. The VDL ran like a cult; Dutch was not a good person, and he knew exactly what he was doing the entire time.
That's my hot take for the day.
( @moeitsu I know you said you wanted to read my take on this so I figured id tag!)
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introspectivememories · 4 months ago
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sorry but do you ever think about the fact that the bernard we have today is a direct amalgamation of everything that happened in his past and i know that sound like such an obvious statement to say but it actually kills me to know that you can draw a direct line from who he is today all the way back to that sixteen year old boy who watched his best friend bleed out. like it is the defining moment in his life. it fundamentally shaped who he is and the person he's become. he is the bernard we know and love not despite the grieves shooting but because of it. because the gangs all got together and shot up his school. because tim walked out of that room with nothing but a baseball bat. because his darla got shot. because he watched her gasp and cry as she died. because he watched the blood coagulate around the wound. because he sat there and held her hand as her life drained out of her. because he walked into school that day with a joke he knew would make her laugh and her nose would scrunch up and she'd snort a little and tim would roll his eyes at him and call him ridiculous and instead he walked out with a bloody white shirt, blood under his fingernails, and two friends less. because, even now, almost half a decade out from the shooting, he thinks that if he closes his eyes, he will always be that stupid, scared little sixteen year old, holding the cooling body of dead best friend.
#there is a direct throughline from the boy we meet in robin 121 all the way to man tim reconnects with in urban legends 4#like maybe you guys have other interpretations of it but to me this is *the* defining moment in his life#and that's not to say that he perpetually bound to this traumatic event but it impacted him sooo much that his life is now divided#before shooting and after shooting#like you cannot tell me him falling into the cult was just something that happened to him#it happened bc he was in such a bad place from watching his friend die and then on top of that he loses contact with tim!!!!#this is his canon event!!!!#if you took it away from him if you made it so that he never had to go through it#the bernard we would get would not be the same bernard we got in urb leg4 and tdr#does it not make you want to chew on drywall that to get to the bear we love he has watch his darla die first????#head in hands head in hands#and it wasnt like batman came immediately after darls died!!! iirc they had to wait a little before he came#which means!!!!! alll those kids but bear esp had to sit in that room with darls' dead body until batman came!!!!!#do you think he cried and held her hand until batman came??? do you think he begged her not to go??? or do you think he told her#stories and made promises of all the things they were gonna do after they got out??? do you think he put pressure on the wound and#watched as the blood soaked through the jacket they were using as a towel??? and when she finally passed do you think he bit his lip#clean through to stop himself from wailing? bc if he's too loud the gunmen will hear them and he cannot be the reason jay from#history dies#auuuugh i cant fucking do this anymore#bernard dowd#timbern#darla aquista#louis grieve trio
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morlock-holmes · 20 days ago
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The Conspiratorial Mindset
So, I've always had a bit of an interest in scams and hokum, and what people call "Cults".
One of the common refrains when you talk about religious Cults is, "If you think about it all religions have beliefs that seem odd to outsiders" and this is true, but as I read more about cults I started to think,
"Wait, a lot of these groups aren't united just by having unusual religious or supernatural views; a lot of them also seem to have matching patterns of behaviors that have nothing to do with belief in psychic space aliens"
I'm talking about things like,
Having a leadership structure which is absolute, where the top leaders cannot be disciplined or even openly criticized by lower members;
Exerting tremendous control over the dress and behavior of adherents;
Telling adherents that outsiders are untrustworthy and that contact with outsiders should be strictly limited and heavily monitored by organizational leadership;
The extensive and common use of shunning and reprogramming in response to violation of any of the above rules.
In some groups, failing to adhere to the dress code and spending a lot of time with outsiders is, at worst, the subject of a few little jabs at family gatherings. In other groups, those same behaviors are treated as Defcon one crises and become the central issue of the adherent's relationship with everybody else in the organization until they can be bullied back into doing the organization's bidding.
It was gratifying to learn that other people have noticed these patterns (Some people prefer the term "High Control Group" to "Cult" because it highlights what the actual problem is)
I am starting to notice similar dynamics in what are commonly called "Conspiracy theories".
The thing about conspiracy theories is... Well, conspiracies exist, and sometimes groups of powerful people get together to do something in secret which would get them in big trouble if they were to do it openly.
But I am starting to notice a particular, I don't know, a particular way of conceptualizing the organization and purpose of conspiracies which is unique to some people and which characterizes the kind of conspiracy theorist who takes Alex Jones seriously.
I kind of think of it as a "Witch-Hunting mentality".
For certain people in more primitive times and places, if they, say, slipped off a ladder and hurt themselves, their first thought would be, "That must have happened because a witch cursed me. We need to find and punish the witch who cursed me."
And this isn't just the attribution of malice that characterizes this idea:
One malicious conspiracy that might make you fall off a ladder is a manufacturer who doesn't care about safety ratings. Imagine that the manufacturer is really deliberately malicious here. A subordinate comes to him and says, "Our ladders can't reliably hold the weight of a person and a lot of them will probably break and cause people to fall and hurt themselves." and he says, "I know that but who cares, by the time people figure it out it'll be too late to get their money back."
That's a malicious conspiracy, but, importantly, if Bob buys a faulty ladder and falls off, the conspiracy wasn't trying to hurt Bob; it merely didn't care whether Bob got hurt.
Now, this distinction doesn't take away the malice and hostility towards Bob, but if you go to the ladder manufacturer and say, "Hey boss, Bob bought one of our faulty ladders, but he's really skinny so the ladder didn't break" the manufacturer will go, "Who the fuck is Bob? And good, that's one less angry person."
Whereas imagine Bob's ladder has been cursed to break by a witch. The witch did it because she hates Bob, and wants him to fall, and if she finds out he didn't fall, she'll go, "Curses, I'll have to find some other way to hurt Bob."
Conspiracy theorists, it seems to me, are far more inclined to conceptualize conspiracies as acts of deliberate malice aimed at them rather than acts of negligent malice.
@loving-n0t-heyting posted this article from the New York Post which contains a good example of what I mean:
“I thought I was on the cutting edge of promoting rights for gay people,” Yang said. “But then I started looking deeper into where this was coming from and who was paying for it, and I started to get very disillusioned...
I assume the people paying for it are LGBT advocacy groups? Did you, uh, not know that the people you were working for were paying you to work for them?
“When you really dig down you can see how much of this comes from documents and plans at the United Nations,” Yang said, referring in part to the UN’s “Gender Equality” initiative. “It’s part of a global agenda to restructure society, re-structure our social norms and the economy,” Yang claimed. “They are undermining the sexually dimorphic nature of reality and breaking down the differences between the sexes to break down our identity. They are constructing identities for us and they want us to adopt them.”
Oh, I see.
This is exactly what I mean. LGBT rights efforts make Yang and others feel disoriented, like society is being restructured and that they are being left behind, like they aren't quite in control of social norms and that stable identity categories can't be relied on anymore.
Now, one kind of conservative might look at that and say, "These are bad second order effects of LGBT people trying to assert their lifestyle in public and that's why we should oppose them."
But another kind says, "These changes make me feel unstable. Therefore, the main purpose of the changes is to make me feel unstable. In order to understand these changes, I need to figure out who wants me to feel unstable and what they would gain from making me feel unstable."
The idea that Yang's feeling of instability is simply a side effect of a series of efforts mainly focused on LGBT rights is incomprehensible. Instead, she believes that there is a series of efforts focused mainly on making her feel unstable, with LGBT rights as a kind of side effect to the main goal of making her feel unstable.
This kind of thing is, to me, a big red flag that indicates that we are starting to float away from reasonable conspiracy thinking into crazy town.
I am particularly curious if folks can recommend any writers or researchers who have noticed this dynamic.
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hexhomos · 5 months ago
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Can I ask...what actually happens with Viktor in S2?? I keep hearing people being really vague about it being Bad but I haven't seen the leaks and now cannot find out anything that isn't just someone saying they won't say anything;; I just want to temper my expectations bc I was only excited for S2 for his storyline (+ Jayce interactions) and I'm getting the impression they don't do.....much?? with it?
spoiling stuff for real under the cut
As of ep5, Viktor:
-Doesn't have his mask or armor
-Has no outspoken ideological drive
-Has never once expressed interest in the traditional venues of transhumanism ocurring all around him
-Never made blitzcrank, never did shit ONSCREEN
-The only tangible reference we get to the machine herald is this shot of cards back on s1:
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I genuinely dont know if he has even 5 full minutes of actual footage across all of these episodes lmfao...
His contributions to the story are, in sequence:
-stuck in stasis. jayce waits by his bedside for over an episode
-emerges from coma, immediately rebuffs all of jayce’s warm affectionate advances to the point its a little comical. looks like a dried grape, barely any bigger. declares that he's mad over not being left to DIE; he has to go away now. he hears... her voice! oh! that girl who spoke one time in s1 and that he ignored in every scene!
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-left the lab buttnaked and barefoot with a blanket jayce wrapped around him to explore the streets on zaun. a bunch of sick homeless guys (who are, of course, shimmer addicts, see my note about war on terror) think he must be augmented so they want to kill him for scraps and parts. But they dont know that viktor is jesus now. he turns his stigmata palm to that guy who sold out caitlyn in s1 and proceeds to magically cure the lepers.
-this is his last scene for a little while. we Hear Of Him when one of the disabled councilors is looking for ways to deal with his pain from the accident. arcane loves looking over the shoulder of the rich and powerful like they are the main drivers and movers of the story
-like an hour of footage later, jayce reemerges (from a nexus-type of situation) and he finds one of Viktor’s servants -- its that councilor guy-- doing something unspecified. He's surprised to see jayce and tells him that he may speak to viktor; viktor says he misses him and wants to see him and basically "my bad man i was tripping when i said that shit to you the writers needed some lazy disagreement point," but he sounds really cult-leader sleazy and jayce is really mad over being left behind. Jayce is having some flashbacks to void monsters in the other side and tells servant guy he's not allowed to let him go. Servant councilor guy says well too bad! Im going! So jayce pulverizes him with his hammer. based jayce. he looks like brown bearded dante from devil may cry
That's the ep5 clifhanger. i think you can tell how i feel.
My predictions are as follows: jayce tracks him down to his lair and we get a showdown that is a vague reference to their original character bios battle; the one where viktor sics a bunch of brainwashed people on him and the building falls over everyone from the impact. It's possible that viktor is still not wearing his armor, and in this altercation jayce beats him up so bad or dismembers him enough that in act 3 he will have built one. That feels insulting to me but they legitimately have been very lazy.
oh and jayce also has a magical stigmata now. i hope they get to scissor those things together
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ghostflowerhotpotch · 1 year ago
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Spiderman Society and Manipulation Part 1
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Okay! I had been wanting to do this post for a while, while I don't think we can flat out call the Spiderman Society a cult, the reality is that the more you look at it, the more twisted and crazy the spider society becomes.
I had seen a lot of people complain about the spiders in the society (specially on Gwen,) of how they could let this happen and how could actually believe is a good idea to let people die. And I don't think a lot of these people realize that the organization is operating in a way that is made to manipulate people, and things are far more complicated that what you may realize.
I would estate now that a lot of the things that fall under Cult behaviours are kind of inevitable by the nature of the organization.
I also want to emphasize that I DON'T THINK MIGUEL IS EVIL, or is even aware of the damage he is doing by the way he is running this operation. I truly believe there is no one who believes more in this than him, and all he does is for the common good.
And he is so focused on that goal he doesn't realize the damage he is doing.
WARNING: The following discussion will involve talking about Cults, psychological manipulation, controlling behaviours and such. If you think these topics may be a trigger for you, please consider skipping this.
Levels of Information
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It hasn't been flat out say, but you can see in the movie that there are levels to the amount of information each Spider has on the organization.
Pavitr is aware that the Spider's society duty is to stop villains and beings from other dimensions from breaking havoc; these people ended up there by accident and need to be contained and sent to their respective universes.
However, he also says "I can do both," meaning that he has to be unaware about living in a canon event, and most probably, the existence of canon events.
Hobie also, seems to be in a somewhat of an intermediate level.
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Here, Hobie says how he actually doesn't have much of an idea of what's going on with the organization.
However, he does appear to know more than Pav and Miles.
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Here Hobie confirms that he knows that Miles is an anomaly. At least that's the impression he gave me considering the circumstances.
Now, we need to balance a few possibilities here.
Hobie being aware of anomalies but not canon events isn't exactly the weirdest concept; anomalies are entities from another universes coming in, which is of course, not suppose to be normal occurrence in any universe. Miles being bitten by a spider from another dimension would make him an anomaly just for that alone.
Hobie didn't seem particularly surprised when the canon events conversation came up, but I can buy that 1) He knows how to hide his emotions well, which would make sense if his universe is anything similar to what it is in his comics, 2) He may had suspected something like this was going on with the information he has at hand.
This also makes sense with his character, because I am sorry but I really cannot believe Hobie knew Pav was going to go through something traumatic, and would just let Pavitr suffer. ESPECIALLY for something Miguel says.
There is the possibility that he knows about anomalies from Gwen and not the organization itself, this would track considering he has admitted that the only reason he has been hanging around is because he wants to look after Gwen; and probably Pavitr too. He seems to be the type of person who looks after more vulnerable, young people. Which is pretty punk of him.
I could also believe Gwen at least telling Hobie about anomalies, because they are close friends (FRIENDS, look I like this ghostpunk and other ships because I am like that, but in the movie is obvious Hobie just seems Gwen as a friend. Again, don't bother shippers.) And because Gwen would obviously be upset about not being able to visit Miles, and venting to Hobie (who for sure would not rat her to Miguel, and would understand her situation.) As well as explaining the reasoning of the situation.
Why would she explain that? Well, because she needs to justify this still making sense, being the good guys.
Remember, Gwen ended here not just because she wanted to be with other spiders, but because she thought her home wasn't safe anymore. She needs to justify this being worth it because she is a traumatized teen with not a lot of support and is trying to cope with it until the reality exploits her in the face.
But probably that's a conversation that is better for another day.
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I don't think people are realize how absolutely TRUE this rings for Cults.
Independently if this is a religious or other type of cult (because yes, not all of them are religious;) something that tends to happen is that there are levels to what people know; and the longer and more loyal you are to a cult, the more they let you in.
In fact, the loyalty thing is sometimes more important than time; if they see you are committed enough to one level, they may let you in the next bit of information.
This is because most cults start trying to say pretty reasonably things, a lot of them involved the common good and the possibility of a better life; and then the more they convince you to some ideas, the more they let you in the crazy stuff that is actually underneath. And this is on purpose, because a lot of people wouldn't had stayed too long if they knew the bat shit crazy information from the get go.
So they intentionally manipulated you into thinking their side of things first, and then they try to become your new support network and community.
You wouldn't believe an stranger, but your new family, or I don't know, new organization, who welcomes you in when you have nowhere to go, and offer to guide you in a way you desperately wanted help but never had the chance- Why you wouldn't believe them?
Well, I am getting ahead of myself.
This is how you get cults like Scientology, where at first people only had a vague idea of what was going on, until some people got in deep enough to extract some information and reveal to the world how nuts a lot of this sounds.
Preying on those facing difficult times
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I will probably had someone mad at me because this title and choosing this particular screenshoot can feel a bit like a reach, but hear me out.
Yes, I understand that neither Miguel nor Jess had bad intentions when they ask her to join, in fact Jess seemed fully worried about Gwen because she had no one.
But again, Jess and Miguel aren't in this to manipulate people for their evil schemes, they fully believe all of the philosophies they are preaching.
While Gwen's case is the most extreme (that we are aware of at least,) this really rings my alarm bells WAY too much if you ask me.
Because of things like this:
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Say what you want about the commitment Miguel has with his mission, I am not saying saving the multiverse isn't important (though it would help if Miguel had bothered to double check his theory,) but if you talk to someone who has lived in an abusive household, ask exactly what it did for their mental health being afraid of fucking up because they may get you kick out.
(It's figurative speech, if you have the chance learn about it but don't ask anyone who isn't comfortable talking about the subject.)
Let me tell you something; living afraid of what would happen to you just for existing is not a walk in the park, and while I don't think Gwen is truly walking on eggshells with Miguel; it cannot be easy knowing in the back of your mind that if you mess up badly enough, you will end up in a place where you may risk ending in prison, being homeless, or that your mere presence may make someone you love die.
(After all, technically; ASM-90 can't happen if Spider-Gwen isn't there to fight anyone, right? Yeah I wonder what exactly Miguel would had done about that.)
You saw the amount of spider-people this society has, you also know how spider-man stories work; no freaking way Gwen is the only one in this situation. Maybe Gwen is the one who's situation is most at stake considering Miguel was already wary of her for her relationship with Miles; however I can't imagine that if let's say, a spider doesn't want to go along with a canon event, they wouldn't let them stay.
"But OP! Miguel is just trying to be practical, you can't pretend he let people stay if they are putting in risk the mission."
Yeah here is what I have to say to that: Is absolutely horrible to let this scenario exist in the first place.
There is plenty of resources here; the Spider Society HQ has a weird architecture that couldn't had been cheap, all because is made for spider-people in mind. The place is HUGE, he is on the surface world (because unless I see evidence of otherwise, I bet my laptop that the underworld city is where crime and people without too many resources need to go, for not being able to afford the surface.) Not to mention all the technology they have should open to more possibilities, right? If not health wise (Miguel's world is probably more medically advanced that the ones of many other spiders, for example.)
There is no way, resources couldn't be use to help other spiders. I say it before, I find ludicrous that Jess, Miguel or someone else couldn't talk some sense into Captain Stacy. Or that someone could be supporting Gwen better in an emotional sense, because that poor teen needs some type of parental figure in her life and none of them have interest in it. Which again, is fine, but if you know there is this issue, as an adult who decided to take this teen, you should find someone willing to do it!
I do not give a shit that they are super heroes, is plain as day that Gwen has issues, and is looking for someone older and wiser to be there for her; I am not saying Jess should had done it because I can't blame her for not wanting that role, but if you can't do it and for some reason can't talk some sense into his dad, find someone!
Yes, there is a psych spider-man, but that is clearly not doing enough. Heck I wouldn't be surprised if the guy wasn't even good (like I get that he is a spidey and that he hears these stuff constantly, but imagine telling something that is traumatic to you, and your psych can't give less of a shit or even be sensible about the subject.)
They have these people in a choke hold, either obey, or you would get kicked out to horrible conditions.
I had been reading a few comics; Gwen's world SUCKS, if her world is half as bad as it is in the comics, I wouldn't want her going back, period. Peni also has some horrible circumstances; (her situation is better in the after school saga, but still.) I can't imagine how many others are in this exact boat.
Because is not just that this place is providing a safe heaven for Spiders, is also a community.
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Spider-people tend to be lonely, a lot of them are in worlds where they are the only super hero, keeping this a secret for the safety of their love ones.
So you are telling these people who are normally abused in some way or another, who suffer from the loneliness of this job; that unless they behave and obey, they will lose the only community where they can be themselves, where they can ask for help, or have a place to rest.
And I can already see people typing angrily about the multiverse and it's well being, and let me put it this way: In the real world, if an organization (not just a company, but charities and such,) ends up having a work space that puts an unnecessary level of stress and fear for the people in it; wouldn't you be mad about it?
So why exactly I shouldn't want Miguel, someone that should be a good guy, care for the people that he has under his command? Wouldn't make sense that the people that need to take care of the multiverse are doing mentally well, considering that putting that type of strain in someone can also affect how they do their job effectively?
"But Miguel is not thinking about those things, he is focused to the cause! He just has his priorities, and wants his subordinates to understand how important is this too."
Hmm. So what I am hearing is that Miguel wants everyone to be ready to let whoever is necessary die, if not kill (because you cannot tell me Miguel "I don't always like what I have to do." O' Hara hasn't done it.) And leave everything behind for the cause, no feelings involved; and wants teens and young people who had no business being this pressured to do it as well.
Yeah this is not the argument you think it is. There is enough money, resources and people that there is no way this couldn't be run better, but is not.
But I feel I had gone long enough without bringing other sources into the table; so let's start with that shall we?
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Understanding Cults: The Basics - Psychology Today
Isn't an interesting coincidence how this fits EXACTLY what happened to Gwen, to a T?
Is approached to, not even shown interested in joining on her own. Look at that screenshot from earlier, Gwen says "I don't know how to fix this," she wants to fix THIS, the things with her dad, to make her situation less messy.
She doesn't know what she is getting into, she doesn't even know that she will not be able to visit Miles yet. Much less canon and all that jazz.
Think about it for a second, Miguel sees a teen who has her own dad try to SHOOT HER, and what he sees is "well, another recruit." Tell me that it isn't a bit fucked up.
You could try to argue that Miguel offered his place so she could have a shelter, except that no, that's not what happens.
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This happens after her dad already tried to shoot her, he may had stopped it, but he wasn't interested in recruiting her, not even after Jess is trying to convince him to let her in.
You know what happens? She says "I don't know how to fix this."
That's the catalyst.
I thought of finding a way to explain how, but honestly someone did a MUCH better job than me already.
Miguel's DESTRUCTIVE Idea of "SPIDER-MAN"
If anyone is bothered by me not leaving the explanation behind Miguel's reasoning, is because this conversation isn't about Miguel's mental health and reasoning. Because that's not excuse for this mess regardless.
The point is: Miguel wants people to help him fix this mess, and even if the logical conclusion here would be helping her out with her situation rather than just include her into this mess; Miguel isn't thinking about that.
I will not say is malicious in any way, heck he may think he is doing her a favour like this, but that's another problem, not an excuse. He is so focused on his goal that he leaves behind the well-being of his subordinates.
Which is a problem, by any measure you want to give it.
Let's go back to the sources shall we?
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With this at hand, let's review
Do they enlist people without giving the entire story of what's is going on and deceptive ideas? Yes.
Because they enlist people saying they need them to help save more people and the universe, WITHOUT mentioning that some of YOUR love ones need to die.
I feel on this angle, I had already mentioned enough in the rest of the post.
It is authoritarian, with a leader that is controlling? Well what if we see the evidence?
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Look how many angles he has here, is not even all of them, there was another with Gwen in another shot. I am not sure what type of camera or device he is using for this, but wouldn't you find it disturbing if your boss had THIS amount of footage of you while walking on your company?
It gets worse.
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He is spying them in their downtime.
You could make the argument he had the right to watch over Gwen because she was technically on duty at that moment (it doesn't make it less creepy and honestly unless you are like a cop, I can't imagine too many jobs where is a good idea to have something record what you do at any moment.)
Except that you can see in the superior corner, that he has a video of Hobie playing; he doesn't have his mask so this is clearly not a mission. He is spying on people even OFF the clock.
Do any of you seriously think is a coincidence he did this with Gwen and Hobie, the "problematic" spideys?
Do you think Gwen and Hobie even know to the degree they are being watched?
(Sidenote, Miguel apparently has been looking over Hobie, yet seems unaware that he is making his own watches apparently, and maybe to which extend he steals. Hobie is so smart he fooled Miguel just like that. Another reason why Hobie is the best.)
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You know something that bothers me about this? Is why is Gwen asking this?
Gwen is supposedly in the loop, she knows about canon, she knows about the ASM-90, but she is asking this, as if she hasn't been given that hard proof either.
Which goes back to the lack of transparency, but for this part of the discussion, the important thing is what Miguel does next.
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Doesn't answer her question, menacingly towers over her until she almost falls back, and then kicks her out.
Do you notice the interesting part about this? He wasn't planning to sent her home, until she QUESTIONED his logic.
It wasn't about she going to see Miles, it wasn't about messing up with the spot; if it was about that he would had decided to get rid of her earlier, even the second she spoke her mind would had justified it, making it remember she was there.
Yet is not until she asks that, that suddenly Miguel decides this is enough.
Wouldn't you call that authoritative?
Let's go to the next part, the disrupt of personality; because maybe you think that's definitely not the case. Well...
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You may read this and not think too much about it, but again, when you had been looking into cults and similar stuff before, this starts siren bells in your head as if he was talking about a doomsday.
Miguel is emphasizing how being Spider-man involves sacrifice, it involves pain and losing love ones. And you need to be okay with that.
You can see with Miguel that he prioritizes the job above everything else, he says that much himself really. And he expects everyone else to prioritize it too.
Sure, Peter is a loving father with clearly time for his daughter, Jess is pregnant; but you cannot tell me that if a canon event involved Peter losing his daughter, or Jess losing her kid; Miguel would say something different.
He expects people to follow canon events no matter how painful it is, and his justification for it is that it is part of the job that you signed for, so you need to be okay with this.
Because being a spider-person and the job should be above all else, don't you think that involves forcing an identity onto you so you obey better? Because you are first spider-woman over being Gwen Stacy, for example?
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Tell me how much of this applies to the Spider Society, because for what I had gathered? None of this is allowed.
People aren't allowed to interact with who they want (like Gwen being obviously forbidden of seeing Miles,) if you question the leadership you may be kicked out; not complete information until you had proven trustworthy or there is no other choice.
And something interesting about all of this, is that is technically not just preying on the people with difficult circumstances like Gwen, though that is bad enough. But funnily enough...this all also uses the trauma and guilt of its eldest members to justify their actions.
BUT, I think that would go better with a part 2! I feel the topic while part of this discussion, deserves it's own post, specially since I will talk a bit about why I think Miguel believes so far in this theory, even if the evidence shows is flawed.
Look, I really, REALLY, don't want to call the Spider Society a cult; I don't even think the writers had that in mind when they did this; they just wanted to show that Miguel was flawed.
And is for sure, not as bad as other things that I had seen, things that had happened in real life.
However, this isn't a good look, this organization checks way too many boxes, enough to effectively give psychological damage; I can assure if this wasn't a super hero movie Gwen and other people will have to go through therapy for this. Heck even if this trilogy has a happy ending I wouldn't be surprised if the people need some psychological help once they realize they did horrible shit for nothing.
I feel there is another things, minor details that could qualify, but those feels almost nitpicky and inconsequential compared to the rest, and what some of what is left..
I don't think I need to give more reasons anyways; the Spider Society is harmful to their people, feel free to think otherwise but I cannot see an operation with this many red flags and not call it how I see it.
I don't know what's worse, this, or the fact that is not the worse thing I think Miguel has done.
But that's everything for now! Hope you guys like it, and if you have the chance, please donate on my ko-fi or share this post!
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romana-after-dark · 6 months ago
Text
Room's on Fire: So Afraid
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Dark!Santiago Garcia x Fem!Reader
Dark!Francisco Morales x Fem!Reader
Dark!William Miller x Fem!Reader
Dark!Benjamin Miller x Fem!Reader
Also: FishBen, and an assortment of other M/M relationships (no Millercest). Everyone is Bisexual
Series Masterlist: Main Masterlist
Spotify playlist
Summery: Madonna learns her power.
Warnings and Content:
DEAD DOVE DO NOT EAT
DUB CON MOSTLY but there WILL BE NON CON. Major character deaths, forced breeding, physical abuse, brainwashing, manipulation, violence, gore, alcoholism/addiction, BIG OLE BLASPHEMY WARNING like this cult appropriates a lot of religious themes and they call reader their Madonna, Santi is called the Pope, like all that stuff. However, this is a cult so I mean. It happens. None of it are my thoughts on religion or meant to make fun of religion or demonize religious people. Disgusting views on virginity. Attempted rape outside the boys. T*m warning. Age gap. Creepy terrible men. Non-reader rape, dub con, violence. Covert incest, massive mommy issues, sexual abuse all around, past grooming by parental figure. no CSA but the victim isn't much older. some Bates Motel type shit. I cannot properly warn you for everything, without just telling the story but consider this a major warning that there are dark dark themes. No one involved here is morally clean, and who you perceive as the good guy cannot be relied on. Don't come to my story and say im romanticizing these things until at least the story ends.
Extra warnings for chapter: I dont wanna spoint things so just proceed with caution. DM me if you'd like specifics before reading. I dont think its as bad as other things but.... you'll see
3.1k words (so sorry)
Support artists, like and reblog!
BTW if you dont read the lyrics usually i feel it really hits hard this time
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I been alone All the years So many ways to count the tears I never change I never will I'm so afraid the way I feel Days when the rain and the sun are gone Black as night Agony's torn at my heart too long So afraid Slip and I fall and I die. ~ Go Insane, Fleetwood Mac
“He’s fucking unraveling.”
Ben is pacing inside the sanctuary, Will leaned against the wall listening to him rant. They were waiting for the others and Madonna, having to perform a healing ritual. As far as Will could tell, she was going to be okay outside the lasting scars and the mental terror, and she was past the point of miscarrying from the incident, but the people needed assurance. They needed to feel a part of something. The doors were opened other guard had seen what had happened, and from what he and Ben had heard from the rumblings of the people, they were nervous. Unsettled.
Will had to set the course straight, concocting a story of possession and torment by demons to explain Santi’s behaviors… which of course cleared Santi of responsibility but still left Delta scarred. He continued to listen to Ben’s rants.
“He’s gonna fuck it all up. Doesn’t he know more than anyone what we’re doing here? He could have killed the savior.”
“And Madonna.” Will reminds him, but Ben turns to glare at him.
“I’m aware of that. I’m aware of how important Madonna is, you don’t think I love her too? You don’t think I’ve spend every night in her bed-”
“Next to Frankie.”
Ben stopped, stepping forward and looking like he might start a fight. He was drunk, and when Ben was drunk he was either madly horny or ripe for anger fits. Will’d seen him kill a man with his bare hands at a orgy for kissing Frankie. Orgies were orgies, but Santi kept rules around Frankie, rules that had been enforced by Ben’s rage he pushed down below his crown of sunshine on his hair.
But then Frankie opened the door.
“Hey guys.” He walked in his formal wear, and Will had to admit he understood why everyone wanted a piece of him. His eyes were bright in the yellow light.
“Where’s Madonna?” Will asks.
“She’s finishing eating, Rey’s with her. I wanted to talk to you guys alone.”
Will nods.
Ben seems frustrated, crossing his arms in that pout he likes to do. ”I don’t like her alone with him.”
“He’s her personal guard, Benjamin. We have to trust him.”
He shakes his head. “We should rotate her guard so no one gets attached. You know how she breaks down everyones walls better than anyone, Frank.” There was a bit more bite than Frankie expected after the close nights they’d been spending in each other's arms next to Madonna, but when Ben was drinking it was always a bit of a guess.
“He’s her only friend. The first friend she’s had since we decided to set her dad on fire. I think we can allow her-”
“UUUUGGGHHHHHHHHH” Ben rolls his eyes and his whole head in annoyance. “Can’t she just be friends with Iris?”
Will spoke up now. “I think you ensured that won’t happen.”
“And you ensured she can’t trust Jonah” Frankie snapped, not sure why he was defending Ben. He didn’t know he did anything half the time.
Sighing, Will scrubbed his face and then held out his hands. “Both of you relax. I’ve got it taken care of. I doubt Rey has any interest in Madonna, but considering I don’t this Iris is putting out with him, we can’t be too sure. And considering what Pope did to her, we can’t have her falling into his arms. I’ve got it.”
Frankie nodded. “Rey doesn’t have eyes for anyone but Iris.”
Ben’s drunk anger shifted to his horny drunk. “To bad Madonna doesn’t have eyes for Iris.” He looked far away, smiling, no doubt thinking of their wife fucking the pretty cook. Will couldn’t deny she was beautiful… it was a wonder she was unclaimed by the time her punishment began.
A smack from Frabkie broke Ben out of his thoughts. “Ow!”
“You’re sick, you know that?”
“I can dream!”
Will was about to shout at them all to shut up when Pope opened the door. He wore a red tunic, reminding Will of pictures he’d seen of pentecost robes from the before. Not as tight as Frankie, but Frankie gained more weight in recent years. 
“Gentlemen.” He greeted, eyes raking over Frankie’s form. “Are we ready?”
Everyone nodded, Frankie doing his best to hide the anger, the furry, the disgust he felt at Santi. He could hurt him, but how dare he hurt Madonna?
Will nodded over to the entry to the church. “Frank, Ben, start the prayers. We’ll come out in a bit when Madonna arrives.”
Pope narrowed his eyes, but told Ben and Frankie to go, watching Frankie’s ass as he walked through the curtains to the congregation. 
“You couldn’t be more obvious, you know.”
He breaks Santi out of his lustful view.
“Hm?”
“Everyone knows you want Frankie more than anything. Can’t keep your eyes off him.”
Santi attempts to brush his concerns away with a whisk of his hand. “I love all my spouses.”
“You love Frankie.”
“I love him, Ben, you, Madonna.”
“You just want the savior-”
Rushing close to Will, Santi presses his chest against his lover and whispers in a harsh tone. “The savior is a part of her!”
Will grips his tunic, keeping them pulled close as he whispers in his ear. “You need. To calm. Down. Breaking her breaks the savior. Breaking her breaks the whole community. You are losing touch with reality and if you do not get. Your shit. Together. Everything will come crumbling down.” He pulls back just far rough to meet his eye and walks forward, backing Santi up until his ass hits the slab of marble they all deflowered their wife on. A faint trace of her blood remained.
Santi was panting, chest heaving and his cock rose in his robes. “Everything I do is for our community. Who do you think got her pregnant? We’re going to save this doomed earth, we’re bring The One Mighty and Strong to earth and Divine Mother will finally let us all be happy.”
“Santi…” Will caressed Santi’s face, enjoying how easily Santi submitted. Frankie was easy. Frankie melts at the simplest touch of anyone who shows him affection. Santi only submits to him. “You need to relax. She’s pregnant, and she’ll be okay. The savior is coming. You just need to-”
“Don’t tell me what to-” He begins to snap at Will, but before he can finish he’s turned around and bent over the altar. His tunic is being pulled up, and when his hands move to stop him, they are pinned down to the cold stone. “WHat are you doing?”
Spitting on his hole, Will lines his cock up at Santi’s ass and leans in. “You hurt Madonna. You need to learn a lesson.”
*
You enter at your cue, giving Rey’s hand a squeeze before he lets go to open the door. You hated this, you hated being out in public knowing everyone knew what was done to you. Will said Pope was possessed, that he was fighting a battle with the devil, spiritual warfare and he needed prayers, he needed your strength. You had to be strong for him. You forgave your husband and felt sympathy he was in so much pain… But why do you still want to recoil when he touches you? You were sleeping in your bed again, but one always accompanied you to help if the nightmares returned…. You never slept when it was Santi’s arms around you
Francisco and Ben were leading the congregation in prayers, praying for Pope’s strength in his battle and you prayed along, Francisco getting up to walk you down to the raised area. You remember, as you always did, walking down the aisle on your wedding day, unable to bare looking at them for too long, finding solace in Jonah’s eyes… Now he was talking nonsense, and you were worried about him.
The other day, early morning, you’d slipped out of Ben’s arms to find something to eat. Baby was kicking, apparently wanting sugar and you hoped Iris wasn’t up. Things were tense between you, and you could make your own pancakes. You had, of course, thanked her profusely for caring for you when… when it happened, genuinely grateful for the care she showed you… You wanted to be her friend again, god you really did, you wanted to go back to singing with Rey and her and Jonah in the kitchen… but something in the air had shifted.
Wish granted, Iris wasn’t there. Jonah was. He was drinking coffee, PJ pants slung low on his hips… No shirt. He had a lean body even at his age, hip bones prominent below the weak elastic and a trail of hair going down-
When the floor under you squeaks, Jonah stands up fully, shuffling to move behind the kitchen table. “What are you doing here? You shouldn’t be alone…”
“Baby wants pancakes.” You rub your stomach. He’s not looking at you. You make a move to the cabinets, But Jonah cuts off your path.
“I got it, you should rest.”
Your shoulders slump. “I’m not a baby, I’m just carrying one. Let me do it.”
Jonah shakes his head. “Please, just… let me.” He gives you a small smile. “I know you’re not a kid. They should all be afraid of you, Madonna.”
He made good pancakes.
*
Will and Pope returned from their prayers in the sanctuary, Pope looking… Off. He looked ruffled, confused, his eyes a little glassy… maybe Will exercised the demon out?
Pope began his prayers. “Our beloved Madonna, Holy and Beautiful, our maternal bride, has suffered pain and scarring from the demonic attacks of the devil, we must pray for heeling over her body.”
Will’s hands reach for the back of your dress, lowering the zipper when you gasp, jolting away and turning back to him. “What are you doing?!” You whisper, eyes watering with panic. Francisco mutters Will’s name, but he ignores him, opting to pull you close. He cups your face, whispering in your ear.
“They need to see the wounds, Madonna. They need to see you’re healing, they're worried.”
“But… I don’t wanna be naked, Will.” You turn to glance at the crowd, catching Pope glare. You shiver. “There’s people here who made fun of me…”
His fingers lay your hair down. “It’s just your dress, Madonna. Don’t worry, we’re right here. Trust me.” 
Echoes of the past flitter in your head.
I’m going to touch you, just stand there and take it. Trust me.
Will unzipped your dress, the fabric pooling down around your ankles. Murmurs wave over your body, whispers from the people who loved you. Were they mocking you? Were they laughing?
Just down to her underwear, Francisco.
Your bandages were off, but the skin was marred horrifically. It was bad enough those in the back could see it spreading over your pregnant stomach. Were there jealous women in the crown? Your dorm mates that didn’t understand why you were chosen?
Will’s hands find the clasp of your bra, and you tense again. “Will?”
“Just relax, Madonna. Relax for me. Don’t worry.”
It’s just me, it’s just external, don’t worry.
When his hands went for your underwear, you didn’t protest. 
You stood naked, your scared body on display for the whole congregation.
Your husbands stood at your side, each laying a hand on your stomach as the crowd began to pray. You felt like you were being punished, humiliated. What did you do wrong? Your lip quivers, panic rising in your chest again. No, no you would not melt down here. You see a woman who was particularly nasty to you… she tried to make you eat a worm because you didn’t say hi to her when you were 10 and she was 12… You were in one of your “no talking episodes” as your dad called them, the playground was too loud, your new bra you had to wear adding a sensation to your skin you hated… she took it personal, and tormented you for the next 12 years. She was smirking. 
You feel Ben’s hand on your ass, coping a feel.
You think of Will’s lies.
You look at Santi, his eyes only on your stomach. 
You look at Francisco, not saying the prayers and looking at Be’s hand on your ass.. Did you and the baby even matter to him? Why was he so disconnected?
You didn’t feel sad anymore.
You were angry.
“Kneel.”
Your voice, while quiet, makes the four of them turn to you, surprised by you. But no one moves.
“Kneel. If you’re praying for my healing, kneel.” You don’t look at them.
Santi speaks. “We don’t kneel to you, Madonna. You kneel to us.”
Your body wants to shake, you want to fold like you do every time a boundary is crossed but you don’t. 
“I am carrying the savior. I am more important than your ego.” You say, firm in your stance and keeping your voice steady. “Pray to the divine mother to protect me, if you really want this child,” you turn to Pope. “And to forgive your sins.” You turn to Francisco now, his eyes wide with fear. “Get on your knees. I know you know how.”
There was a beat of silence, everyone waiting for Pope’s movement, you knew. Then, Francisco kneels to you. Then Will. Then Pope. Then Ben, only ever following in what the others do.
When they do, a hush falls over the crowd.
You raise your arms, shouting. “We pray for a hedge of protection around me and my child.”
A voice from the crowd shouts, “hail to the mother and the savior!”
All throughout the room, the congregation echos the sentiments, shouting your praises as the smile grew on your face. They adored you. They loved you. Standing naked wasn’t humiliating, it was power. You feel Francisco’s thumb caress over your bare skin. He smiles as he mouths ‘Hail to the mother.’
*
You were running high on the endorphins, even excited enough to ride Will’s dick despite your protruding stomach. It was an amazing high, knowing the power you held, the power to make Santiago- Pope, you mean- to make Pope kneel at your command… he owed you. He owed you this. When Will fell asleep, you were still wide awake, unable to get the giddiness out of your system… So you slip a nightie over your body, pulling panties on and sneak out of the room. Jonah had said he’d make you more pancakes tonight if you were hungry and boy, baby was hungry. Rey, as predicted, was snoring in his chair and you have to stifle a giggle as you creepy past him, bare feet light on the wood flooring. 
The kitchen was dark, no Jonah… maybe you should go get him. Turning on the kitchen lights you go to exit out the other door, the servants entrance leading to the rooms of Jonah, Iris, and the other guards, but when you did, Jonah was there.
Right away, you knew something was wrong. He wreaked of alcohol, looked like he hadn't slept in days and was piss drunk, stumbling into the kitchen so hard he crashed into you. 
“Jonah-oh- I… was gonna take you up on the pancakes…” You mutter, backing away. “But maybe I can make some for you, you seem-”
He catches your wrist.
“I don’t want pancakes.” His voice is gruffer than you ever have known it. Pressing you against the counter, he crowds you in. 
Your heart beat picks up, instincts telling you to run, run, run…. But you can’t.
“What… what are you…”
His lips brush your neck before you can blink, his movements clunky and strange. “I want you.”
You try to push him away, but he’s much stronger. “Jonah stop! You’re talking crazy, you haven't been well, please, just-” Again, you try to wiggle away but his hand grabs your waist. “Just go to bed.”
Jonah scoffs, laughing sardonically. “Just like that? I tell you I want to fuck you and you say to sleep it off? Jesus christ, do you have no survival instincts? At all?”
“Please… please stop touching me Jonah…” You want to stop feeling his breath on your skin. “I won’t tell anyone. Just stop!” The tears come, crying and scared and trying to smack his hands away desperately and still trying to push out of his grasp.
“You should be screaming, honey, what is wrong with you?” His hand grips your hip, and you need him away from your baby, now.
With a closed mouth scream, you kick his shin and the shock is enough for him to let go so you take off, but he gives chase. Once again, you are pinned to the door. You knew you could scream. You start screaming, and Rey, or Will, or any of the others will be on their way in seconds and you’d be safe… ‘’
“Why are you doing this?” You sob in his arms, his fingers entangling in your hair. He pulls on it, and you close your mouth intime to not yell.
His hand caresses down your arm, making you shiver and feel so, so sick to your stomach. “God dammit, have the broken every fucking piece of you? Is that it?” Why was he so angry at you? What did you do wrong? Did you tempt him? He hand on your waste again, he keeps almost moving it up towards your breasts or down to your ass but never going far. Jonah rests his forehead on yours. “Why won’t you SCREAM!” He shouts his last word so loud in your face, the strong smell of alcohol bursting on your skin and you shout out loud.
“BECAUSE THEY’LL KILL YOU!” Your whole body heaves, panicing and you feel you might throw up. “ThEY’LL KILL YOU AND I’LL LOSE MY DAD AGAIN!”
His face turns into something pained, and while his hand reminds gripped in your hair to keep you there, he pulls back just enough for you to see him run a hand over his wet face. Right before he slammed it through the wall. You couldn’t help it, your body forced you to scream before your mouth stopped the voice, Jonah’s fist curling tightening and pulling your hair against your scalp as you continued to shout. He continued to punch the wall next to your head.
When Will burst through the door, everything went blank. As soon as Jonah was pulled off you, your body slid down the wall where you watched Will pummel Jonah. At some point, arms were wrapped around you, but you couldn’t tell if it was Rey or Frankie. Only the smell of weed narrowed it down.
You didn’t hear much, your ears ringing as you watched blood fly out of Jonah's mouth. Muffles words weren't as loud as the beats to Jonah's body. You were sure other people were in the room... there was shouting... but you couldn't see anything except Jonah going limp, only jolting weakly at each slam of Will's fists.
You aren’t even sure how you made it back to bed.
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Shout out to @hornystan for editing, our beloved Frankie in his formal wear
Okay. So that happened.
JONAH what are you DOING BESTIE??????
PLEASE leave your THOOOTTSS and THOUGHTS!!! Frankie kneelings? Madonna chaneling hr anger??? Jonah doing... ALL THAT!!!!!!!
What are we thinking?
love you all so much! I know theres a lot of bullshit happening in the fandom but just know, dont trust everything you hear. I know at the very least one person the stupid confessions page is attacking is genuinely a kind, amazing person who was in the right <3 If there is a writer you dont think is nice or friendly enough... just keep it to yourself or talk to a few friends. You dont need to air it out publically.
Lets keep it chill, I say to me and my uuhhhh 30 readers B)
ANYWAY
Im like 60 followers away from 1000 followers on this account and i have a fun event planned!!!
I did this poll befoe, but its been like 10 chapters soooooooo
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LOVE YOU ALL!
How to keep up with the story!
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beepborpdoodledorp · 2 years ago
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So because I’m insane and I have a severe case of Stardust Cookie obsession, I beat the entirety of the Dream Express storyline before most people even logged in for the new update. Normally I wouldn’t bother making an entire review of just a side story that amounts to maybe 15 minutes of cutscenes, but I felt like it encapsulated literally all of my issues with CRK’s tonal whiplash and needed to talk about it.
The thing is, just the parts with Stardust, Milky Way and Space Doughnut are great. Stardust’s friendship with Space Doughnut is absolutely adorable and I love the angle they took where Stardust ends up taking on some of Space Doughnut’s tendencies, not realizing they aren’t normal because he’s been trapped in isolation his entire life (ex. eating the crisps with the wrapper on, which became his and Space Doughnut’s little friendship thing). It continued on all the aspects from Stardust’s character that made me fall in love with him instantly when Chapter 16 came out - if Dream Express was just with the passengers of the express it would’ve been perfect. 
But then the actual conflict happened and it became cartoonishly stupid. Dr. Evilglaze doesn’t even look like he belongs in this game, his design style looks like he came straight out of the Fairly OddParents or something. I cannot tell you how much whiplash is induced when you go from Stardust Cookie contemplating the meaning of his existence and needing to adjust to social situations after only having stars as company for possibly centuries to a person named Dr. Evilglaze trying to fuse with a magic donut. I get it, the main demographic is still preteens, and CRK has certainly done bizarrely stupid storylines before, but this is also the same game that brought us Tower of Sweet Chaos, an entire storyline that acted as an allegory for an indoctrinated cult member learning the corruption behind her religion and it breaking her because of it. Odyssey had political dubiousness, more cult activity, you get the point, I am physically incapable of shutting up about how much I love Odyssey. The existence of lighthearted or simplistic stories isn’t the problem, I just wish Devsisters would be able to understand that their audience can and has handled nuance and maybe figure out how to make the more mature stories and the lighter ones flow together more seamlessly. Because at this point I’m convinced CRK has two whole writing teams who don’t even know of each other’s existence and were given entirely different descriptions of the game they’re writing for.
Anyway, uh...7/10. Stardust and Milky Way make anything they’re in better and the first half and ending were great. Point subtracted solely for the name Dr. Evilglaze.
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landscaping-your-mind · 2 years ago
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If you get Jon's self-loathing and curiosity stats high enough, it'll override his cowardice stat.
Yeah so hi time for MAG 143!!! This is... not my favourite episode, but it's alright, I mean Helen's there, and I love Helen.
So, might not have that much to say, but I sure will be speaking. (Update! I do have good words! My brain is so cool you guys)
@a-mag-a-day
BASIRA Eyes peeled. [Pause.] ARCHIVIST Was that a joke?
I'm holding him gently <3
ARCHIVIST They weren’t lying. BASIRA Wait, you did your… ARCHIVIST Oh, yeah, I don’t think they noticed.
Mate, he was purposefully compelling people back in season 3, like, if you have the power to get 100% accurate information then why wouldn't you use it? Monster anyway, you know, might as well use it to your advantage.
BASIRA So what? This was another waste of time? No church. No Dark Sun. I’m going to kill that son of a bitch.
Please.
ARCHIVIST Oh, charming.
He's a fucking dork, you honour <3
ARCHIVIST (Compelling) What happened? MANUELA Don’t … Don’t make me. Please. ARCHIVIST (Compelling) Tell me.
Jon.
And it's like, Basira isn't protesting, but like, I sort of get it? We know about the dreams, we know that his... victims... are suffering, but Scrutiny is like, yeah. They are. Like, I can understand why Basira wouldn't view Jon... yk, compelling people as a bad thing here? It's useful, and she values that, but she doesn't really get the after effects? Maybe? Or maybe it's just because Manuela is "evil" and therefore "deserves it."
Jon does know what happens to them though, and directly...
Oh, right. Not gonna say what I just came to a conclusion on in case it's stupid but I Got Something.
Hither Green was, I believe, where your institute was watching, but Natalie’s efforts were a small and meagre part of the greater effort.
She was literally unscrewing lightbulbs. How was that supposed to end the world???
But we got so close. We touched it. There is another world, a world of still and quiet darkness, where no heat touches and death cannot find you. You might wander beneath that empty sky of void forever and never see a light to guide your way.
But, see, this could be the Lonely, the Extinction, hell even the End, or the Vast. This is not a purely dark world, there is no such thing. Like the colour green. All the green we see, is not true green.
For that night is not empty, far from it. Things move there: the sounds of shuffling, scuttling, crawling. A scream. The fall of gentle stagnant raindrops that chills you as you try desperately to know if that is the sound of the storm or something out there?
The Hunt, The Slaughter, this isn't simply dark.
Natalie and the others followed, but they did not truly understand.
Yeah, duh, she was unscrewing lightbulbs.
Also like, it's actually like... not just spooky cult, but like Natalie joined after her mum died, Manuela left another cult. Feels like a cross between an actual cult, a ✨spooky✨ cult, and the Yiga Clan from Breath of the Wild.
All at once, that loving embrace was stripped from us, and it began to retreat, to recede back into the place that it had come from. We were so close. We were so close.
She sounds so heartbroken.
ARCHIVIST (Compelling) How dangerous is it? MANUELA Only myself, Maxwell and Natalie could even look upon it. It will annihilate you both in an instant. BASIRA Ask her how we can destroy it. ARCHIVIST I know how. I just need to see it. BASIRA See, as in… ARCHIVIST As in, actually see it. MANUELA Go ahead. Just try. BASIRA Look, it’s alright, Jon. No-one else knows it’s here, and if we just leave it, no one will know. ARCHIVIST No, I’m doing this. Get out.
(basira voice) JON! You stupid idiot!
No, but... is this curiosity? Maybe, he's done a similar thing of knowing that he will get hurt and yet doing something anyways for information. Is this because of the self loathing? Maybe, feels pretty similar to "no one can get out of the buried" and then he goes into the buried.
He's not a stupid idiot, he has a reason, but it's a bad reason.
[Static can be heard, growing louder] ARCHIVIST It’s… it's beautiful. MANUELA (Gasps) No! [The static suddenly stops]
I've been thinking about what it would look like, and I think I've come up with a good image of it. You know when you close your eyes - you might have to put your hands over them - and you can see patterns? And you can find that darkness and follow it, and it becomes darker, darker, yet darker (/ref) ad infinitum. You can just stare at the darkness when your eyes are closed, until it's darker than it should even be possible to be dark, and still getting darker.
That's what looking in the dark sun is like, at least I think.
ARCHIVIST Did you catch her? HELEN Yes. (The Archivist gasps.)
Great gasping, Jonny, ten out of ten!
No but... that is great gasping. Jonny's voice acting is just really good.
HELEN How was it, looking upon The Dark? ARCHIVIST I thought I was going to die. HELEN You seem to think that a lot. I remember when you thought you were going to die at my threshold. ARCHIVIST Yeah.
I CARE THEM YOUR HONOUR
Like, hhh just the way they deliver their lines first of all, how can you have so much fucking baggage in a single "Yeah." Like?? The pause, the light tone of Helen vs the "I have just been through another traumatizing event, are you really reminding me of a previous one" tone of Jon.
Drawing the parallels from 101 to this episode? Would you die to save the world? Every time Jon has answered yes. Also the door was locked and this helped end the world? That's fucked? The door was locked? He would have made that choice, save yourself, safe the world, but the door was locked, like??? And here, he made the choice, look at the dark sun, make sure they can never attempt it again, die, and he chose to do that, but all it did was bring Jonah Magnus one step further along his evil plan.
I have like so many feelings about Jon and Helen, so many feelings about this one bit of dialogue. "I thought I was going to die." OH MY GODDD
NO one gets them like I do. They're my blorbos your honour, and they're so fucked up and evil, and they're so fucked up full stop.
Once again tag me in ALL Crew QnA Jon traumatizing people who worked on tma edition I want to see them so much!!!!
HELEN Go find your Basira, then let’s get you both home.
"Home."
:(
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guiltywisdom · 1 year ago
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Is it okay to help a friend of mine maintain the appearance of being a part of another religion and to pretend to pray to that religion's gods? He was raised in an extremist Hellenic cult and while we're working on an escape plan for him, it is vital no one around him catches on. So we've been lying that I'm interested in Hellenismos and I've had to fake some things in front of his family, as well as help him seem like he's been talking to me just for religious purposes. I feel awful saying things that aren't true and saying the names of these Greek gods as if they're sacred or to be revered. I would feel far worse if I didn't get this guy out of this cult. They believe that - well, it's complicated but based on some obscure Greek myths they believe twins should be together sexually, and his sister is so brainwashed she's all for it. He's not. He's repulsed by it. I've arranged to get him out when he turns 18 in the last week of December - and get him to the safety of his grandparents, over a thousand miles away; thank God my dad is a pilot and has connections in the industry who could make this happen - but until then we need to keep suspicions as low as possible.
I hate saying these awful sacrilegious things. I hate lighting incense and burning offerings and pretending to be something I'm not. It makes me feel sick. I don't know how I'll ever be forgiven for this. But you have to understand, these people are abusive. They've starved him as punishment for resisting doctrine so many times. They want to make him have sex with someone against his will. He doesn't deserve this. I can't let this happen to him.
I've done things I'm not proud of for this. I've said false prayers to gods I don't believe in and had to stand still while his father pulled the cross off my neck and threw it into a fireplace. I feel like a heretic. I feel like I've prioritized someone over God. I have stress nightmares constantly. Am I doing the right thing? Is it alright to do these things? Will God forgive me? What do I have to do to be forgiven for things this terrible?
I can't tell my priest or any of my Orthodox friends. The risk someone will say something and the whole plan will fall apart is too high. Only my dad - I was raised in a single-parent home - knows. I need some kind of guidance. I don't know where to turn.
I'm so sorry for burdening you with all this. I know it's a lot. But I'm out of other options and I trust you. You seem spiritually sound and strong in faith.
I'm sorry this post got lost in my inbox so the reply is late.
I think a lot of people prioritize the idea of outward faith, of showing people, themselves and God that they are faithful in outward ways but this is not the true way of loving God.
Christ said, “whenever you pray, do not be like the hypocrites; for they love to stand and pray in the synagogues and at the street corners, so that they may be seen by others. Truly I tell you, they have received their reward. (Matthew‬ ‭6:5‬ ‭NRSV-CI).
God sees deep into your heart, he knows what lies there and it cannot be hidden, not on purpose or by this facade you have to engage in. You are doing this out of love and we are told to love our neighbour as ourselves, there is no greater act than that. Saint Maria of Paris said, "We must not allow Christ to be overshadowed by any regulations, any customs, any traditions, any aesthetic considerations or even any piety."
It might sound controversial but I believe that our most important consideration is to be like Christ and that worshipping him is secondary to this. Saint Maria of Paris said, "Piety, piety…but where is the love that moves mountains?"
You are doing such an amazing act out of love, you are helping a friend escape. Saint Maria of Paris also helped people escape, escape from Nazi occupied Paris. Stay strong my sibling in Christ, God knows your heart and that's all that is important here.
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moonstonedrawsrandomly · 2 years ago
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The Chair 3🟢
Redemption AU
It’s been days since the incident with Lucas and him. Moses has mostly been out of sight since then, at the luck of everyone else, but at the detriment to himself. After their fight, Moses bested Lucas, but a few words that left his dying body haunted him.
“Even if you tell them, no one will believe you.”
Those words were coming true. Noelle didn’t even look at h when he tried to tell her what happened and who Lucas was. He banged in her door for hours until her had to receive treatment. He got pretty beaten up in that fight, along with a massive cut from Lucas’s claw going down his shoulder. Thankfully not his sword shoulder.
“No, she has to believe me…she has to. If Narinder is able to get a follower close enough to the cult, what makes it out of the realm of possibility that they will strike again?!? No, I cannot let them try to take her. I must protect her.”
He gets up and decided that he cannot wait, he needs to speak with Noelle before it’s too late.
Noelle’s POV
It’s been days since Lucas’s death. It seems like the cult has moved on from his tragic death. Noelle has not. After his death, Noelle left her nursing job at the clinic.
Despite many trying to get her to stay, she physically could not. She felt responsible for Lucas’s death and couldn’t help others anymore. She felt inadequate and a failure to protect him from Moses…
“Why…”
She kept repeating in her head before Moses would try to bang on her door. She couldn’t process what he was saying, she was too far in her bedsheets to understand.
“Who even cares…”
She would think, hoping the walls of her home just fall in on her and end her misery But one day, she completely ran out of food and needed to go outside for more. She really didn’t want to go, but she had to. She took one glance in the mirror and already regretted her decision. Her face had dark circles from all the crying, and her eyes looked exhausted. Regardless, she took her little coin purse and went outside.
People were happy to see her out and about. She was looking a bit paler than the last time they saw her, so she went along and did her grocery shopping quietly, with the intent of getting her groceries and heading back home. She has been rationing her money but she knows she will run out eventually.
Noelle made a list of the things that she needed. She was getting vegetables, a few pound of meat, a few eggs, a craft of milk and some cheese. And of course some strawberries for her homemade candy. Strawberry candies that she has been living on for the past few weeks, and when she was a nurse, she gave them out to patients.
She did her shopping and was ready to leave the Market until the aura of the market changes. Moses is here.
“Noelle!”
He rushes to her and grabs her arm.
“Noelle! We need to talk, immediately-“
Noelle swipes her arm away from him
“Don’t touch me, you monster!”
Moses wasn’t taken aback, he’s been called worse under people’s breath, he stands in her path, with many watching.
“Listen, I need to talk to you, it’s about Lucas!”
“Don’t you dare utter his name! You erased him from this world like he was nothing! Out of jealousy of all things!”
“Wha-“
“HE WAS INNOCENT IN ALL OF THIS! AND YOU KILLED HIM!”
Noelle shouted! Getting the attention of bystanders who were now watching
“What? No! Noelle! He was a heretic! I had no choice BUT to kill him!”
And this is we’re Moses gets blindsided. By something. He falls to the floor. From his eye to his face, blood began to pour down his cheek. He can feel the hash in his head. What hit him?
Then he saw the chair in Noelle’s hands. Dripping with his blood. Her food bag scattered from them. The eggs rolled everywhere and some vegetables fell out but surprisingly the milk was still in its sturdy container. Noelle was huffing heavily, like an animal.
“Noe-“
The moment he spoke again, the Chair came back down on his head. He tries to brace for the hit.
“Die! Die! And go straight to hell you demon!”
She shouted. The vision of Lucas’s smile…a smile she will never see again resurfaced, thus explaining the rage she felt at that moment, she didn’t care. She didn’t care if she injured him beyond repair. No, she wanted him to suffer. She wanted to kill him! No more.
Moses just braced for each hit, not bothering to fight back. He was shocked by her strength as she hoisted the chair over her head, with whatever strength she had and beat him with it. Surprisingly hard, she was determined to break his face and legs at this point. No one dared to stop Noelle.
“Get him!”
Someone cheered! As the little pink lamb beat Moses until he bled. The chair even broke and she picks up the pieces and beats him with them too. Of course, the whole Market went quiet when an aura approached. Everyone bowed their heads but Noelle was still beating Moses. Then the chair pieces were lifted from her hand and she looked to see what happened.
“Noelle”
It was Goddess Fernilla, why was she out of her temple, especially at this time. Moses, despite being injured, bows to his Goddess.
“Noelle, you can go now…”
She said. Noelle was still breathing heavily, now with tears in her eyes. She picks up her bag, missing a few eggs and dashed off to her own home. Fernilla looked at the bleeding lamb.
“Huuuf…haaa…hhuuu…my goddess…please…forgive her…”
“You-“
She actually grabbed him by his horn and stared him in the eye, angrily. He’s never seen his goddess like this. Why was SHE angry?
“You are in SOO MUCH TROUBLE!”
She says. Then they both teleport out of sight. The market was abuzz with the events of what happened. But where did Noelle go? What’s going to happen to Moses?
“Hopefully she punished him!”
Someone calls out with the rest of the crowd agreeing and dispersing, going about their day. It’s only a matter of time until a certain someone hears of the news.
“Ah…success!”
They said, awaiting their return.
TBC
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grand-admirable · 21 days ago
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My name is Jack Amyx, aka ct-echo, crosshairshusband, and thrawns-babyboy; and this is my suicide note. Posted on my current active accounts. My dying wish is to tell the story of how self sacrifice is never worth it, even for those you love the most.
The history of this story starts with my sibling, Erron, and I. We were raised in a house that wasn't a home, and the type of abuse we endured classifies our family as a cult. We were both raised in an environment of poison and we both knew that leaving it would require the will to rid ourselves of it no matter how deep we had to bleed to get it out.
It was a multiple month battle. It included a murder attempt from our father, police gaslighting us, a sketchy motel, stolen important mail and documents, identity theft, attorneys, cameras all over the house and property, and no means to reasonably leave. I was living in a flea infested trailer with no air or heat because it was what I "deserved", my father even cut my internet so I often was left with a weak signal to be my only connection.
I was the one who did most of the work to move, I was making calls and researching and lining the ducks. Erron pitched in financially and otherwise blamed me for problems and intentionally sabotaged our chances to play the victim. Why? Because they have BPD, and this is all they know to do.
And that is all that happened the minute we got out.
We signed the lease April 10th, 2024. I thought we were free, but then they turned into our father and accused me of being him.
I prioritized their health. I got them into therapy, on meds, set up with doctors. They say they "will think" about therapy, they stop taking the meds, they do nothing but give me excuses. My needs go neglected as I scramble to try and help someone who won't help themselves.
We have job issues, they watch YouTube all day while I beg them to start applying, be proactive because I cannot carry us both and it's time for us to grow up. They tell me I'm belittling them, degrading them, they create problems for me to solve to avoid getting a job that hinders my ability to get a job.
We starved for a week, almost got evicted. Why? Because they spent all our money on fancy hotel stays and unnecessary splurges and blamed me because I "knew their spending habits and moved in anyway."
I tell them I can't handle the stress they put on me, they tell me that if I killed myself they'd figure it out without me. Unbeknownst to me, they already had been in communication with our father to fallback on him once I was used up.
I go to a psych hospital for suicidal ideation and end up traumatized worse by sexual assault and a doctor that made me go through a police style interrogation to prove I can go home after my hold when I refused to sign a 14 day extension they thought they could trick me into signing. I get out, I get home, I find Erron told everyone I went missing and filed a police report. I told them where I went. They accused me of prostitution for money and acted like I abandoned them and played the victim. They got caught and lost a dear friend and began to be envious that the friend stayed with me.
They start creating more scenarios to try and make me seem abusive, I stop engaging, they tell me "I just want to know what to say to make you happy," I tell them "I want you to work on yourself", they purposefully try and mess something up to force me to engage to save it. They try to get the car toed to play victim. They try to mess up rent to play the victim. They try to turn a friend against me and when that failed, they played the victim.
We make a legally binding contract, at the advice of my partner who has lawyer family, and it is what saved me from falling flat the minute things blew.
Now we get to the explosion when I found out that during my absence from CF333, a break they encouraged me to take by leaving the server, they had been spreading lies and rumors for months. Having other members spread these falsities and not a single one of you mother fuckers even thought to ask me about it. You just believed it and got weird when I said hi 1 on 1. I was even attacked via multiple rants by the one who Erron manipulated into a relationship that I hope to god has ended by the time the schedule posts this. A perpetrator or a bystander is all the same to me. Every last thing Erron accused me of was the twisted reality of my fucking abuse and you all stood there and believed the lies. I forgive none of you.
That's also when, oops! Erron exposes themselves as a child predator who used a Warrior Cats RPG server to find and groom their victims. Don't worry, all evidence has been taken to the police for investigation, because babygirl I got the evidence. Don't think because you took it down the minute I told you "So it's Warriors Rise Of The Elements, Starclans Destiny, where you met the kids at?" that I didn't plan for what I knew you'd do. And I saw the way that sociopath stare was shot at me, because that's when you knew that I knew.
You are just your father.
This is when Erron goes to stay at our dad's, comes back in a chipper mood like "Dad bought me hot dogs :)" I tell them they have to leave, because they don't get to act like all that didn't just fucking happen. The next day I pack their things, they go back to the cult we called a family.
And now I'm left with the pieces. And when I say I tried by god did I try. I got 3 jobs to pay for the apartment they ditched me with. I went out and socialized. I saw a drag show. I got my hair cut professionally. And I did it, I did it for a little, but I'm so exhausted by this life. I couldn't hold on to my reality, I had no support. I spent my life giving and giving and giving to ensure my empathy remained intact in the face of cruelty that it became my downfall.
I am proud of myself for making it alone, physically. All you back stabbing bitches couldn't say the same, y'all either had a knight in shining armor come save you or had to abuse the kindness of the trail of people you left behind. I didn't have shit for support and I fought like hell and I made it. Mentally? Isolation killed me. I was made for love but never given the chance to understand or learn how to, it was just an ache I could never ease. I have my mother's heart and I hide it behind my father's anger.
The bottom line is we come from a family of poison. We are all poison. My best efforts to change ended in my isolation because I am poison. People can't help me learn to be human because they can't understand why I'm not, and I can't understand them either. I am so forged by poison so it's all I can offer.
In a way I think I got lucky. I find I have a severe dissociative disorder that fragments my emotions and leaves me comfortably numb. My emotions separated into individual pockets in my mind, meaning I can front with apathy to preserve empathy and shuffle between joy and sadness and whatnot as needed. It let me survive my house without becoming the evil that destroyed me, not entirely at least. In another way it's not lucky, because now I might as well be an AI trained on emotional data than a human. I can't understand my emotions through feeling them, I have to follow a logical course of action, I have to take my most educated guess. I will be misinterpreted and misunderstood because I cannot express what I do not feel even if it influences my decisions and thoughts.
I've been robbed of my ability to connect to other humans. I start to spiral, I go crazy, I watch conspiracy theories, I sabotage my relationships, I get grindr just for connection, I find myself completely alone. And all I can do is say that I don't regret it, but if I could change it?
I'd have stopped caring when I had the chance. Because what is the point of having empathy if you're too broken to use it.
So this is where I say my goodbyes. Scheduling this for 1/1/25. The first year this world will not see me in it.
My pride and joy will always be my beloved Clone Force 333. What a silly thing to love, but at the time, when I was trapped in my house with nothing but constant abuse and my Star Wars Tumblr life, it was such a bright thing to get to have.
I'm grateful for what I had, and I'm too exhausted to live a life where I am just empty and dejected. Some things are too broken to fix, so make sure you maintain them before they shatter. Please, put yourself first because nobody else will, and they will just leave you to die when you're used up.
Stay Golden 💛
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black-king-white-knight · 1 year ago
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Hope no-one minds me joining in.
First, I’m not trying to shit over anyone’s HC’s here, but the theory that the Emperor orchestrated the Heresy is... odd.
Like, I know the most about Magnus and Horus so I’m gonna focus on them.
Magnus, iirc, was designed to specifically sit on the Throne and power the Astronomicon. Basically, the thing that killed Malcador only killed him because Magnus was now a demon, and therefore widely regarded as unsuitable. (I imagine the wings would get in the way of sitting comfortably.)
Malcador, despite being a fuck off powerful human, no natural born moral could sustain that. Leading some poor fuck to have to sweep up the, up until that point, Imperial Regent, into a convenient dustpan.
Hence Magnus.
So, my question is, if the Emperor is orchestrating everything from behind the scenes, directing which Primarchs will Fall, why let go of such an asset, especially one that I suspect would have been the hardest/one of the hardest to get right?
To the point where even the Emperor and Magnus seemed shocked at what Magnus can do, because when Magnus has some critical information to deliver to the Emperor during the Crusade, he basically desires to tell his Father in person, then opens his eyes to find he’s teleported halfway across the galaxy, smashed through the psychic wards around the Imperial Palace and manifested right in front of Him on Earth.
Which, fun fact, seems to me like someone who’s read a whole lot about genetic engineering, read some numbers, but wasn’t super acquainted with what that means in the real world.
Anyway... onwards to Horus.
The Warmaster... Look, any of the Primarchs are Bloody Dangerous, but Horus was the Warmaster and First among His Sons because he was the best fighter/strategist, right?
Now, making him head of the Heresy would make sense, right up until the very real possibility that he’s too good of a choice. Like, he doesn’t play at destroying the Imperium, he actually does.
The Emperor going out to fight him also feels odd, to me. Why would a master manipulator, someone who’s in control of everything, be defeated? Yeah, sure, he can’t actually control reality like that, lucky blows happen, but if I were Him, I’d have gone in with some kind of kill switch. Something to de-power the Primarchs, crack Horus’s armour, uhh... mental conditioning that means they’re literally unable to raise a hand against Him.
You know, something to give the Emperor guaranteed victory at the height of the Heresy.
Horus is way too valuable to lose to the Chaos Gods, not only because of what he can do on a personal level, but also because of the power he’s imbued with. The whole point was that Horus speaks with the Emperor’s authority.
And *that’s* who the Emperor decided should be the first to fall into Chaos? I literally cannot think of any decision that would make the Primarchs question the Emperor’s judgement more.
Because, if that whole thing about the Emperor not being able to create souls and he needed to bargain with Chaos, now they’ve come to collect, is true, then why set up some of your most hard-won creations?
Sure, none of the Primarchs and Legions are going to be small losses, but He’s got 20 of each, they’ve all just fought in the Crusade, there will be those not as good as the others. Let them fall, instead of the best Legions, then be faced with actual, possible destruction.
The Emperor’s direct rulership of the Imperium seems to be a list of not knowing how to deal with shit now that he’s up and out of the shadows.
Also, this isn’t strictly relevant, but His directive that no Marines will be allowed to use psychic powers, then creating psychic Marines anyway.
Or that time He wanted humanity to be free of religion, and promptly allied with the Cult of the Machine God, and utterly failed to convince His own growing Imperial Cult that He wasn’t a God.
Because don’t get me wrong, the Emperor’s an utter shit-bird, but he’s always come across to me as someone who stepped up and out of his shadows into leadership with a cry of, “I can do this!“ Got an actual view of what was involved, and his immediate follow up was just, “FUCKING HELL!“
And I don’t see how a destroyed Imperium would suit his plans of dealing with even the current threats of the time that an all-seeing Emperor would probably know about. The Aeldari, the Necron, the Orks, possibly the rise of the Tau, maybe the Tyranids...
Because things like ordering Malcador to create a Holy Imperial Inquisition... that doesn’t scream scientific utopian meritocracy to me. That screams someone who knows they can’t stop the religion thing, so it may as well be used. And the Emperor’s hatred of being called a God back when he was in solid command of shit is well known. He ordered purges amongst his Legions if they dared worship Him.
Frankly I have to believe the Emperor orchestrating the Heresy theory in some level. The Emperor literally needed to take like, 30 seconds, tops, to just blast Angron's captors with a bolter.
He HAD to be hand-picking which of his sons would be nudged toward loyalty and which would be nudged towards having their souls gobbled up. There's just no other explanation as to why he'd be such a colossal asshole and refuse to help Angron in any of the myriad of ways that he could have. There's no way.
I regret to inform you that the Emperor was a garden-variety, forest for the trees-tier dumb dumb conqueror with the emotional range of a tadpole and the moral compass of a dropped piece of toast
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chanshoesunite · 2 years ago
Text
Making yourself cum on Chan's arm
Tumblr media
GENRE: smut, snark, idk arm kink?
WORD COUNT: 2223
Author’s Note (Co-curator Tortoise): This image has been living in my head rent free ever since they posted it. It is my lockscreen for heavens sake!! I have been imagining riding his arm EVERY DAY and it's just not healthy at this point. If you are like me, welcome, please leave a message so we can descend into madness together.
WARNINGS: rated M (minors do not engage!), masturbation, petting
„Oh my fucking GOD!“, you exclaim while staring at your phone. Luckily, no one is around, so you do not have to share the cause for your excitement – and despair. Chan has just posted a selfie with Changbin in the group chat “zoo and keeper 💪🐺🐰” between you three and Changbin’s girlfriend.
“Had a good set today~” was the accompanying text.
“Why would he do this to me”, you are absolutely stunned, while also knowing for sure that he has no idea what such a picture would do to you, seeing as you are simply the boys’ flatmate.
You wish you were more than that, so you could write something like Changbin’s girlfriend: “Tell Changbin I need him at my place urgently – it’s for sex reasons.”
You snort and think: “Same, girl. But we can’t all have fit as fuck boyfriends. Some of us have to suffer as singles while living with a perfectly eligible bachelor.”
However, you write: “EEEEWWWW, did NOT need to know this, will purge this from my memory in 3 – 2 – 1 – hey Changbin I have a weird feeling I won’t be seeing you around tonight so don’t forget to put the bins out tomorrow!!”
The ensuing snark in the chat has you grinning and helps you push The Picture out of your mind. It’s late in the afternoon on a Saturday so you decide to live it up and watch a Netflix documentary about some murder cult to distract yourself further. It works, but not for long, because inevitably Chan comes home, all by his lonesome and handsome self.
“Hey, what are we watching?”, he asks, flopping down on the sofa next to you once he has deposited his gym bag in his room. You risk a quick glance at him. Yep, still slightly wet hair from his shower, arms still pumped, veins still popping. God is testing you today.
“People being murdery”, you gesture vaguely at your glass and Chan helpfully reaches over to hand it to you. “Thanks.”
Your fingers brush his wonderfully warm skin and you take a breath and another peek. You notice something on his left hand and – damn it, damn yourself for not resisting – you grasp it lightly to take a closer look. His large hands are calloused, but surprisingly soft. You already knew that and you shamelessly relish the chance of touching him now under the guise of checking out the raw spot on his palm.
“And how did that happen?”, you wonder, “I thought you had callouses for dayyyys”, you stretch the sound while standing up to get some ointment.
“Ah, yeah”, he says shyly, rubbing his head, shouting after you, “you knaur, I guess I didn’t put my straps on properly.”
“Heh, strap-on”, you tease automatically as you walk back, cream in hand. You open the tube and put a pea-sized portion on his reddened skin. “Would’ve thought that makes you raw in other areas.”
“Oh my gosh, YN”, he laughs, letting his head fall back against the couch, then looking up cheekily, “I guess it depends how you use it?”
You huff a laugh, focusing on gently rubbing in the cream – fuck, you love doing this. You try not to make it last too long or be too sensual, but you cannot help but enjoy the texture of his skin under your fingers. You draw little circles on the redness, then use the cream to slightly push into the surrounding muscles of his hand as well.
“I’m not sure you know how to use a strap-on properly then! Best stick to the straps you know – and come find me if your callouses get defeated by your recklessness again.”
You pretend as if you want to get rid of the last bits of cream and travel your fingers up his sleeveless underarm, cruising his prominent veins for a few seconds. Then you quickly pull back and look at the TV screen again. Your fingers are warm from where you touched Chan’s arm, and you have to clench your hand to get rid of the tingly feeling in them. You brush your lips with the same hand that just touched Chan in a nervous tic, which only serves to make you even more nervous when you notice what you are doing and that Chan is still watching you. You pull your hand away from your mouth immediately.
“What?”, you ask, trying to play it cool, because obviously there is nothing to get all bothered by.
“Thanks”, he says simply, with a wide, happy smile. You feel like you could turn into putty when he smiles this way and you yearn to be moulded into something new by him. How dare his mouth and arms work in tandem like that? You try to save yourself by dialling up the drama in your voice:
“Ugh, it’s alright, I guess, all in a day’s work for a saint like me. I do accept alms in the form of chocolate and cash” – and cock, you add in your head, which makes you roll your eyes at yourself and back at the TV but you do catch a glimpse of Chan licking his lips before replying:
“I’ll keep that in mind.”
And you could bicker further, but his low voice took on a weird tone (playful, but sexy? Suggestive? Oh, lord!) and you have literally no spoons left to contain your horniness, so you try to ignore the gorgeous presence next to you and focus on murder.
***
Four hours later you wake up, with a weight on you in unfamiliar places. You have somehow managed to partly drape yourself over Chan –you are spooning into him, holding his left arm hostage like your favourite plushie. His t-shirt is wet where you drooled on him, his head is resting above you. You are surprised to find him asleep, considering his insomniac tendencies.
Still quite dazed, you relish the feeling of his upper arm and side against your body. You lie there, just existing, enjoying this fleeting moment, listening to Chan’s calm breaths, the beating of his heart that you could swear you can feel from where his muscular arm is pressed against you.
When he moves in his sleep, you unwillingly relent your grip. Better to let him turn freely than wake him up. But he doesn’t move away – at least, not the way you expected. He grumbles, flexing his triceps as he slides his arm down. His arm is now lying between you and him, his hand is resting on your thigh, which you have tucked up against you, turning you into a little croissant.
On instinct, you slightly open your legs to let his hand in. You wonder what the hell you are doing. He hooks his hand between your thighs. You wonder what the hell HE is doing. Chan pulls you closer with an ease that both delights and disgusts you in the best possible way. You don’t breathe. He doesn’t let go. His hand is now nicely sandwiched between your legs. His fingers squeeze the meaty part of your thigh, tantalizingly close to your pussy. You lift your head, trying to look in his face. Is he still asleep? Are you his plushie now? Have you died and gone to heaven?
He seems peacefully asleep and you lie back down carefully. You are now much closer to him. You feel hot and a bit shivery. His fingers continue to flex in obviously involuntary movements, his synapses firing in deep sleep. Your eyes drift shut with pleasure.
It feels good. His touch, his proximity, this entire situation. You are taut as a bowstring from excitement. You experimentally touch Chan’s upper arm again, holding on, gently stroking the exposed skin with your thumb. He is so soft and his muscles so thick you could sink your teeth into them.  
With the smallest gasp, you cannot help but roll your hips into his hand, very carefully, to cause that sweet friction you have been denied so far. Lightning strikes through your clit into your stomach.
“Oh shit”, you think, “oh shit, I shouldn’t have done that.”
Because you cannot stop yourself now. Chan’s heady closeness, his smell, his warmth, his fingers and now your own naughty movement have pushed you over an edge and you have to keep rolling, rocking yourself into him. You try to hold back, to be as soft as you can. You make a keening sound, nearly inaudible. You feel like you are being set on fire.
And then Chan turns over and captures you tightly. He rotates the arm between your legs so his hand is splayed on your arse cheek, holding on. His other arm comes down on your other side. He hovers over you, his elbows propping him up while his free hand snakes under your head to grab you in the nape of your neck. You cannot escape from the tight space he has created.
You suck in a shocked breath, your eyes snap open. His face is so close. Before you can move or say anything, try to explain yourself, he grins down at you.
“I knew you liked my arms, YN”, his voice is hoarse and quiet, laced with satisfaction, “I just didn’t know you liked them that much.”
“I’m so sorry”, you say with a panicked look on your face, trying to squirm out of his grasp, “I didn’t think…I didn’t mean to…”
Chan neither lets you finish your sentence nor continue your futile struggle against the virtual wall he has created with his body. He flexes the arm between your legs up against your crotch, squeezing your bum tightly.
“Fffuuuhhck”, you let out a broken moan from the sudden stimulation and your eyes drift shut again. This is what you needed. All the little movements you dared to make before cannot compare in any way to this. Chan’s large hand on your neck squeezes slightly.
“I like it when you swear”, Chan says, looking down at you, relenting the pressure of his arm and then pushing in again, making you gasp, bucking your hips, “and I like it when you use me. So, go on, YN…use me.”
You decide that this is the most realistic sex dream you ever had and to just fucking go with it. You pull Chan’s head down to cover his plump lips with soft kisses. He opens his mouth for you and it feels like he is ready to devour you. When his tongue touches yours for the first time, you feel like you might cum on the spot. His lips and tongue seem to tease you, promising more pleasure.
Your other hand grabs his arm, feeling his magnificent muscles straining to give you as much friction as you need. You start riding his arm slowly but with strength behind every roll of your hips.
“Come on, YN, I can take it.”
It’s dizzying. You pick up your pace, and soon there is no rhythm to your movements anymore, just plain wanton need to feel more. You are moaning into his mouth as he lets his tongue play with yours.
“That’s right, just like that. You have been holding back for so long, being all proper with me, I am so glad you are finally letting loose, you look fucking beautiful, my little princess.”
His low voice, his self-assured tone is driving you closer to your peak, and Chan can tell by your frantic movements and sounds. He kisses your lips, down your jaw. He squeezes your arse and your nape as he growls into your ear: “Keep going, baby girl. Cum on me.”
Yes, this is what you needed.
With a throaty moan you press your wet pussy against his strong underarm and ride out your orgasm, whimpering nonsense. Chan leans his forehead against yours, whispering how sexy you are while you spasm under him.
After what feels like millenia, you go limp. You are breathing hard, still making little noises as you come down from your high.
“Oh, fuck me, oh, that was so good”, you gasp.
Chan lies down next to you and pulls you in tight. He nuzzles your neck and you can feel his grin.
“Yeah? I think so too. Very hot. I especially liked it when you said I am your own personal Adonis.”
You groan and hide your face in your hands.
“I did say that didn’t I?! This is all the fault of. That. Picture.”
You turn around and accentuate your words with pinches to his shoulder and biceps. Chan laughs and catches your hand before it can pinch any further, kissing your fingers.
“You knaur, I never thought this would happen, but I am very happy it did”, he turns a little serious and looks into your eyes intently. “I think you are really cool and hot. And I would like to do this again. Maybe you will find some other parts of me even more enjoyable.”
You cock an eyebrow, making a show of looking him up and down.
“Hm, you think so, do you? Well, you muscular, arrogant, delectable, little shit, I will be the judge of that!”
And with that you attack his lips and push your hand down his pants to reward him for his existence in general and the orgasm he gifted you in particular.
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beann-e · 4 years ago
Text
Haikyu characters reacting to their s/o screaming back at them
Nekoma Characters reacting to their s/o Screaming back at them
Read Part One Here
kenma
-it would not take much -_-
- Kenma doesn’t even notice he’s yelling at you or much less using his raised voice when talking to you
-he’s so used to screaming at kuroo through his mic that when he’s finally pissed off and bubbling ; it just happens after you try to ask him what he wants for dinner at the wrong time
-post time skip
“ go left “ The sound of the controller clicking swirled through the room as your boyfriends eyes followed the screen at every turn his character took “ kuroo I said go left “
“ uh which one ? “
kenmas face went into a straight line as kuroos body stiffened knowing he hadn’t been listening in the first place “ no wait which way I meant —which way “
“kuroo I said go left “
“ oh “
“ yeah — go left “ the strain in your boyfriends voice was evident
it showing off the sliver of annoyance he was trying to hold back knowing that you were somewhere in the same house
he hated for you to see him anything other than calm
Anytime he showed any bit of annoyance with you or even showed he was about to give you attitude you quickly shut it down. It was obvious to him who was the dominant one in the relationship and he had no problem with it
Honestly he was scared of what you would think when you finally saw him fly off the handle. Of course you’d seen him have an attitude he was a gamer that was normalized to have one after a lost game but, it wasn’t often he showed you that side because kenma doesn’t do losing
so what would happen if he finally got ticked off so badly due to something that was ‘just a game’ to you would you be scared?
he couldn’t help but think that you would run for the hills and then screw him over in the breakup and tell everyone he still wears tidy whities and forgets to go pee during gameplays unless you remind him by asking had he peed all day
“ hey du— “
“ don’t talk until you kill the leftover guys so we can win“
“ ken you don’t think I can multitask “ kuroos laugh fell into the room over kenmas headphones “ I used to do it everyday i was the captain of the vb team, I keep you in line “
“ sure sure — but are you watching your corners “
“ I keep everyone healthy , and i’m hot , plus I’m about to win this gam— I died “
the silence in the moment spoke volumes before kenma could
his hand grabbing the controller harshly as he refused to blink seeing the word loser flash in bright letters on his screen
Body growing hot and sweaty while he tried to hold in his anger and process what just happened so he could determine the next best course of action
Knowing , He just knew
The amount of trouble he’d get in if you walked in to hear him screaming at kuroo shouting words you hated when he used
He was trying to hold it all in
really he was
he just needed some quiet first just some silence to figure out how to calm himself down his brain going over serveral images of kuroo dead at the bottom of stairs maybe even him getting hit too hard with one of kenmas sets when they played 4 on 4matches
Anger only growing when he heard a voice pour in that he couldn’t figure out who it belonged to much less cared
“ hey ke— “
“ Do you ever fucking listen “ his voice was hard and threatening “ do you ever just shut the fuck up and “
he threw his headphones to his keyboard “ and listen — no you don’t— you go quiet and now here i am upset because you simply don’t listen — answer the questions i’m asking you— you fucking sea creature“
his body only growing hotter as his neck got red eyes darting for a person to scream at and take his anger out on
“ answer me “ he screamed pain eteched in his voice as he finally turned to find you
a look crossing over his face before he blinked looking to the floor then up at you in confusion before turning back to his screen that glowed in the dark room anger hitting him all over again when he saw kuroos wide open mouth and their dead avatars laying on the ground
“ Why the fuck — how the —- I always fucking lose when that asshole —that miscalculated creation— whenever he plays with me it’s so serious to me — i make money off of it i make — i get deals and i — I can’t — can’t lose them they’ll think i’m not good enough— i“
he slammed his fist into the wall speaking low
“ I hate fucking losing “
he turned to you “ it’s not nice y/n — I tried to fucking do your shitty routine of calming myself down first but it just “
he moved closer to you with anger pouring from his body
your eyes wide in a look of fear when he grabbed your face pointing to his screen “ look — “
he screamed in your face when you didn’t tear your eyes away from his “ BABE I SAID LOOK“
your eyes never leaving his as he just grew angrier at your incompetence
“ so your not fucking listening to me either “ his voice grew questioning “ are your ears dirty just like kuroos ? huh ? are y’all apart of some shitty cult for mute wannabes “
his hand gripped tighter on your cheeks “ i’m so stupid your just as fucking dumb as that asshole — fucking — I bet you wanna date him huh — “
his mind ran wild as he thought of the two of you together insecurity blooming
“ you want a loser like him over me right ? you have to like kuroo — look at him you want to date kuroo right “
he laughed “ fucking slu— “
“ finish it and we’ll be playing our own game of kenma getting his ass beat until he finally gives up and cries “
your eyebrows quirked up as you held eye contact with him “ trust me you’ll lose “
you looked at the male in front of you in disgust
“ get your shitty cheeto dusted gamer hands off of me “
his hands loosened their hold on you
“ all the way off you dirty imbecile “
you scoffed as he dropped his hand in a rush of fear
“ I bet your dirty ass didn’t even wash them after I made you pee earlier — yeah made — you wanted to get back to that sweaty chair that badly ? “
his cheeks grew hot as he blinked himself out of his trance only to see what he’d gotten himself into
“ who do you think you are talking to like that “
your stare making him shake even more in fear
You always scared him when you were upset wether you were taller or not your annoyance alone at an action he’d done scared him enough
Your words stood tall and poured in on him making him feel like he was suffocating but, he knew he needed to hear this. You only did this when his anger was out of control like he knew it could be. He stayed on his games all day and all night which was the only way to provide your shared income
at least until he could get his company up and running he had yet to sign contracts because he said he needed to read them first and reading took too much work
this was how he paid your bills. It stressed him out knowing that any day someone on the internet could call him a loser and that same day your steady flow of money may trickle in slower than usual
So when he lost a game any game even something as simple as Mario or even kirby it pissed him off because he couldn’t help but shoulder all the responsibility of taking care of you and himself. He didn’t want to be the reason you lost that stability and all of this catered into his rage. A rage only you could catch and calm down with your sheer words.
“ who do you think you are “ your voice came out low and calm as you spoke down on him “ answer me “
“n-no on — no one babe “
“ don’t babe me “ your hand pressed on his chest “ you don’t deserve that not after you talked to me that way “
“ I -i’m sorry “
“ for what “
“ f-for talking to you like that and “ his voice came out soft as he spoke
“ I cannot hear you “
“ fuck i’m sorry for talking to you that way —and for using force —force and grabbing you like that “
“and i’m just expected to forgive you? you know I hate this — you know this and yet you keep doing it? why ? why do you keep shouldering this and then lashing out “
“ p-please “
“ mm — i’m not seeing it ken— I mean you treat me like one of your other asshole friends and then on top of it you grabbed my face this time— you’ve never gone that far “
“ y-yes I know — I know “
“ so you can see my problem with just accepting your apology right “
“ y-yes ma’am “
“ oh — “ you laughed as you spoke “ now we’re using nice names huh “
“ i—I thought it’d work“ he pouted
“ I wanna forgive you ken “ you looked at him as his head dropped in embarrassment cheeks going red
“ I really do babe but “
“ I swear I won’t do it again y/n “
you thought for a moment staring at the boy in front of you who was pissing his pants in fear
“ y-y/n I swear I didn’t know it was you I was angry and I —I thought kuroo was talkin— “
“ but you realized it was me? “
he paused
“ you even looked from me and back to your screen so you knew correct “
“ yes “
“ and yet you still yelled at me and grabbed my face “
“ really i’m sorry— I wasn’t there all the way “
you took a deep breath before looking to his computer eyes made up in a squint and then trailing back to the boy in front of you
“ ok ken “ his eyes glowed in happiness
“ you— your forgiving me “ he laughed almost mocking you knowing he’d never been let go this quickly you usually took away his gaming system until he’d learned to calm down
he even started ‘doing’ yoga, if you count playing the youtube videos on the tv while he played on his apple watch that you’d forgotten to take, just to fool you into giving his game back “ this easily“
your eyes moved pointedly to his as he fell back into submission
“ i’m sorry I just meant you arent more upset “
“ well i’m deciding that since it was the first time you ever went to that extent of yelling at me I’m gonna let you off the hook “
you smiled “ also I thought you already got enough punishment “
“ h-huh “
you let your head move up to face his computer screen in a slight nod his eyes lighting up before his face fell in sadness
He never meant to fall submissive let alone show who was the dominant one in the relationship to anyone outside of you especially not with kuroo on the other line
“ I don’t think kuroo minds much babe it’s ok “ you said happily changing the whole way you carried yourself earlier and the way you spoke your body easing after beating into kenma
“ no trust me he doe— “
“ goddamn “
your eyes fell onto his friends open mouthed smile
“ and you just let ‘em do you like that “
kenmas eyebrows came together in sadness
“ damn ken —“
your eyes went hard on kuroo
“ and do you think your any better ? because from what i’ve heard churro it seems to me like you couldnt even keep your own team on a leash much less that lev kid so ? “
“ god “ kuroo coughed shifting in his seat whispering softly to himself “ so hot “
he shook his head before speaking again a little bit louder “ uh no— no I completely understand y/n —god i just know your fun “ he laughed
“ kenma keep listening to your s/o don’t mind me “
he moved to log off speaking under his breath “ so fucking scary —swear i’m bringing ‘em in to scare my vb kiddos— shit “
you shook your head in confusion “ uh wha—”
“ he had a — he had a crush on you and yeah I”
“ oh well “ you moved to throw your arms around him in happiness his body stumbling back at the action as he cautiously wrapped his hands around your back
“ n-not in trouble “
“ not in trouble “
“ still love me “
“ still love you “
“ then can I pla- “
“ no “
“ nevermind I didn’t want —want to play anyways “
“ that’s good “
“ yeah “ he drawed out as you grabbed his hand pulling him to the living room “ but babe the monitors still on just one matc— “
your grip tightned on his hand “ movie ken “
“ got it movie — movie “
he spoke low following you wrapping his arms around you as he kissed your cheek “ movie first — game later “
lev
-I don’t think he would ever ever ever scream at you but he would totally say something hurtful and not even realize it because kuroo and kenma said it to him
-so he’s literally just using what he was taught but In the wrong way
- not a time skip
“ lev can you help me “ you shouted to the taller male as you made your way across the court his hands cupping around his mouth as he stared down on you from the other side “ yeah “ he smiled “ totally “
you copied him a smile itching to spread across your face “ just because I yell doesnt mean you yell “
“ well as bossy as you are you should know I’m going to “
your face dropped before it fell back into a happy smile mind racing with thoughts of maybe hes just making a joke he knows you hate when people say that about you
“ hey uh lev ? “
“ yeah babe “ he said running over to you
“ let’s not say that ok cause it kinda — it really hurt my feelings “ his eyebrows furrowed as he looked down on you his voice vibrating along the gym before he smiled again “ babe I like the design you added to your face I didn’t notice but other people said you looked good with it and yeah —honestly they were right “
“ huh — design? “
“ yeah it’s red it’s right by your eyebrow “
your hands moved quickly to cover the pimple from his view eyes darting across the gym hoping no one else heard and was trying to take a look at it
“ it’s fine it’s fine maybe if you put on some makeup you can hide it right ? i mean if you don’t like the design like I do i mean that’s what you usually use it for right ? “
your eyebrows went up face holding nothing but sadness as you spoke “ do you— lev baby do you really think i’m bossy “
he jumped up and down on the balls of his feet in excitement as he kept going “ yeah — I do everything you tell me to and I like it i’m like a puppy and your the master “
you could feel your body heat up at his words his smile spreading wider as he turned to his awestruck teammates
“ babe it’s ok id follow you to the end of the earth because I don’t understand your just stringing me along”
your hands dropped the balls you held onto from picking them up off the floor. head cocking to the side as you studied him trying to see what sparked this new way of thinking
“ oh god “
“ he’s so fucking —so so fucking clueles- “
“ stupid just outright stupid is what he is “ you said as his eyebrows creased face struggling to find the right way to react to the burning hot anger he felt radiating off of you in waves “ lev baby who told you this “
you walked a bit closer to him head leaned back to see him clearly “ who made you think this way “
“ uh what “ he shook his head face coming up in a pout “ babe I — “ he played with his fingers as he looked off to the side hand moving to run across his neck “ for some reason I feel like i’m in trouble —I did—did I do something wrong baby ?“
“ this is not cool lev not helpful, not sweet and nice it’s hurtful “
“ no what ? wait i’m “ he took his hand out to grab your arm his face made up in pure confusion “ no i’m —i’m complimenting you “
“ you— your complimenting me? “
“ yeah “ he smiled struggling to hold it up as his eyes darted across your face
“ lev baby “ you faked a smile as your eyes hardened “ think about your words —what have you just said “
“ well I said that your my master and i’m like a puppy“ he smiled as he thought back “ only because I love you and would do anything you tell me and because i’m hyper and sometimes you have to explain stuff to me in simple form because I can’t pay attention when anyone else talks but you “
he kept going “ then I said that I do anything you tell me to and I would “ he smiled harder voice sure of himself“ because I like following you and making you happy “
he scratched his neck face flashing a deep red “ then — then I said that you cover up your bossine— ok i’m sorry “
his face made up into a pout as he slumped “ really I didn’t know I thought it was nice I heard the team saying it in the back rooms and I though— “
“ FUCKING IDIOT “
“ LEV WHAT THE FUCK “
“ HOLY SHIT LEGS ARE YOU SERIOUS “
levs face dropped as he turned to kenma “ legs seriously ? “
kenma shrugging as he continued to play his hand held game “ eh well everyone else was saying something and you annoy me so — I present legs “
he sighed as he turned back only to see your eyes holding nothing but garbage fires In them as you stared at the group of guys huddled together
“ speak “ everyone whimpered as you stared them down “ explain to me why my boyfriend is telling me I need makeup to cover my pimple ”
kuroos uncomfortable laugh left him quickly as he looked away from the both of you rocking back and forth in his shows “ well um y/n “ he coughed “ you see we were — we’re guys y/n we were making jokes and you see lev doesn’t understand “
“ well I do so explain “
he jumped “ we thought— “
“ not quick enough you sweaty catboy“
“ god ok he came to us wanting to know how to compliment you he said he didn’t want to say anything dumb and —so that made us realize we can really make him do anything cause he’s so clueless—thought if we could get lev to say some dumb shit—trust me we didn’t go that far “ he said pointing to lev who was picking up the balls you’d dropped on the floor chasing after one that rolled away
“ then you’d break up with him and I guess at least one of us would have a chance — well except kenma he says he has princess peach as his wife —wait who the fu—I actually don’t know who that is ken is that an online girlfriend “
he furrowed his brows actually puzzled by his earlier words “ I don’t know why it seemed so normal to me at the time “
he shook his head “ but lev is so fucking stupid that he said everything fucking wrong — we literally just told him what we personally like about you —gave him some corny pickup lines but he said everything wrong like even the phrase about your makeup we were saying how you don’t wear any or when you do it’s not obvious because your natural beauty just radiates through it— then the next thing we talked about is how strong and just how you take directive I guess — and we — we thought it was hot “
“ then where did he get the stuff he said from “ your voice went high now you were confused he couldn’t have made that stuff up
“ y/n he’s just fucking stupid where do you think “ he rolled his eyes “ he made it up because he didn’t understand “
levs eyes widened as he had stopped paying attention to the situation taking place hours ago “ uh I cannot confirm or deny that statement but I will say you are very very beautiful my love “
your heart warmed as the team groaned your body moving into his as you kissed him softly “ did I do something wrong ? “
“ no lev your ok “
“ ok I never want you to feel bad or like y’know how kenma feels I always feel like he’s so angry “ your boyfriend shivered as he locked eyes with kenma who was ready to pounce on him claws showed as he gripped his game harshly “ see —- so angry “
“ not angry lev just “ you looked at him seriously “ babe you have to pay attention to what you say you may say something really really wrong to me one day and then — “
“ and then you’ll tell me what I did wrong while we cuddle and drink hot chocolate“
you smiled squeezing him harder “ no — then i’ll break your kneecaps so you’ll never be able to play volley again and i’ll dye your hair black in your sleep so people will think you look like a tall dirty mop “
he shook before he led you out of the door the team watching as you left leaving all of them to curse silently about their failed plan “ he’s the stupidest guy on the team and he — he got that “
“ bet he doesn’t even know what he’s doing when he’s tapping it “
kuroo laughed “ yeah right like he even gets that far — they probably gotta explain how to continue a kiss without him focusing and staring straight into their eyes — he’s probably learning how to ‘multitask’ right now as we speak—lucky idiot “
the doors to the gym slammed open roughly a few minutes later as you held levs hand tightly behind the door “ HEY ASSHOLES “
everyone tuned to you in fear for themselves and the tall male behind you who you dragged like a mom in a store his eyes stuck on the lollipop that stuck out from his mouth “ guys y/n found me a lollipop—she stuffed it in my mouth when I told her the joke you guys told me to “
“ w-what joke “
“ the one where I called the sex line and said that I requested them because I heard good reviews “
the teams heads all dropped knowing they’d never said anything of the sort or even along the line he’d messed up their original words yet again and put not only himself but them in danger
“ if you guys ever try to taint my boyfriend with your dumb fucking words again I swear I will end you all —kenma i’ll buy every copy of the new game that you want that’s coming out — literally blow all my money so you can’t ever play the stupid game until im ready to allow you to “ his mouth going up in an o as he still had his attention on his game hands only tightening a bit at the threat his body moving behind kuroo for safety
“ kuroos chemistry lab will become a garbage chute for my lunch trays “ kuroos body slumping as he draped himself over kenma only to get pushed off and fall on the floor in pain your mouth moving to tell everyone else on the team what would happen if they didn’t respect your boyfriend and treat him like the nice , caring guy he was
Until finally you flashed a smile and walked off leaving the team in disarray as they couldn’t figure out if you just grew that much hotter or if they were having heat flash from the pissed off emotions they felt when lev turned around and winked at them while he ran his hand down your shoulder to land at your lower back as he followed you out
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You know, I commend Sebastian Stan, Benedict Cumberbatch, Brie Larson and Elizabeth Olsen for speaking up when something Marvel does doesn’t feel right to them or is frustrating to them. Marvel and its fandom has become like a cult of positivity – forced positivity, you CANNOT say anything non-positive without being labeled a hater. I think it took some guts on their part to say something even slightly suggestive of being less than 100% positive and I’m actually really proud of them. They’re not afraid to express themselves and speak up, even just what little they said. It matters to me, a lot. If they’re able to say just that much to the public, that makes me feel like “Yes!! This shit ain’t right and it’s not just me!!” You know what I mean!
I do and they definitely are brave, it can't be easy to speak up about it. The part I hate the most is that the same articles that share their quotes about how uncomfortable they felt during filming have the journalists praising Marvel and Disney, it's almost as if they're saying "we're sharing these quotes but we love the mouse, don't blacklist us!".
They claim it's funny that the actors don't know who they're talking to when delivering their lines, they make jokes about the actors not getting full scripts or talk about Marvel's quirky attitude during filming and how 'success' will make studios behave that way (uh Marvel is the only one that does it so... nope).
Then some actors who will not be coming back to Marvel ever again are free to speak up their minds and what they say is glorious:
Salma Hayek during promo for Eternals (x): "It freaked me out and I hated it and I was angry about it. They didn't want me to keep the script. I'd make my notes and they'd take it away. They give you another one, but they take the old one. I like to keep my stuff. You say "Oh my God, what if I go to jail?" I couldn't write my notes there. That's my whole process. They would take away the script and I was offended."
And like you mention, even the actors who are still working for them talk about it:
Elizabeth Olsen: "This time, they actually decided not to give us scripts. They gave me my pages, then they explained other things that are happening." (x)
Sebastian Stan didn’t even know that Bucky Barnes was one of the characters who was snapped away. He was just told to “fall,” and he had to ask both of the Russo brothers before either of them gave him an answer.
Brie Larson: “I had no idea what I was shooting, what the movie was. I didn’t know if anybody else was in a scene with me. I didn’t know anything. And it’s not until you show up that you get your pages for the day. But you only get your part. So it was like a scene that was completely black redacted, and then just my one line.” (x)
And the directors too!
"RDJ was probably the only one to actually read the entire script," Joe Russo told Rotten Tomatoes, adding: "I think Benedict [Cumberbatch] got the script that included his scenes only. Maybe [Chris] Evans might have read the script." (x)
“Tom Holland gets his lines and that’s it," Joe Russo revealed at an Endgame event. "He doesn’t even know who he’s acting opposite of. We’ll just, we use like very vague terms to describe to him what is happening in the scene, because he has a very difficult time keeping his mouth shut.” (x)
So it's not like we're making these things up, they're telling the stories themselves. But of course any criticism directed at Marvel has them playing the victim, just look at the bad reviews for Eternals. Victoria Alonso claimed they were related to the inclusivity and representation in the movie, as in the only reason the critics were saying it wasn't a good film was because they hated queer rep. That's quite literally playing the victim: I liked the movie but it's in no way a perfect one, but these people want a damn pat in the back for showing one queer relationship in 14 years!
So a Marvel producer says this and of course the fans feel entitled to hate on anyone who didn't like Eternals, I read so many posts in here that claimed whoever didn't like it was a racist or a homophobe...
And that takes me to that forced positivity you mention, there are fanboys of the MCU and Disney who quite simply do not tolerate any criticism about their movies and shows, that every time a director says anything negative about Marvel they go feral and feel personally attacked (!), that boycott actors who have spoken against Marvel's working method... it's crazy.
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madametrashbin · 3 years ago
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Blissful Relief
Modern Day life is stressful (no one can tell me otherwise), and as someone who will practically deflate upon suddenly having nothing to do and nothing important going on in the future (because being isekai'd means all regular world plans for life are cancelled), I will not hesitate to sleep like the dead because I'm not on a tight schedule now.
(Two posts in a Day?? What have I become?!)
A.K.A, I make an excuse to write a Lazy Nocturnal God!Darling who will abuse the cult pampering system... because that is what I would do without hesitation when I’m free from Modern Day duties that eat away at my health and sanity bit by bit with every hour I spend working like a mindless zombie from dawn to dusk, juggling home life that is filled with bothersome troubles that never change.
I’m also a night owl, caused by both insomnia and because it is the quietest hour that I cannot help but want to relish in since my life is filled with so much loud noise it gives me daily migraines... but of course, habits are formed from repetition and I will always wake up at 4-6am like a dumbass thus suffer the consequences the next morning.
Uhh... and I guess there might be OOC stuff?? Characterization who? Also Self-Indulgent again?? Super Self-Indulgent??? Letmeenjoysleepingandbeinganocturnalcreatureplease--
Morning tends to consist of Zhongli coming into your room, leaving the tray of breakfast he prepared on the coffee table near the sofa in your room before he walks over to kneel beside the bed where you're happily dozing off on, a hand moving to gently rest on the small of your back to rub small circles with his thumb. He’s softly smiling the whole time, looking at you with such adoration and fondness with how relaxed you were. As much as he wants to let you sleep in, he knows what would happen if a mortal body doesn’t move that much on a daily basis.
He'll try get you to wake up without being too loud, and if you ask for affection (kisses in particular, because I’m an affection and touch starved bastard), he will give it to you without hesitation and pepper your face in adoring kisses before carrying you off to the sofa so you could eat. He will feed you himself if you’re still too sluggish.
Will also put you in his lap if you’re nodding off, mostly to prevent you from hurting yourself (and because he enjoys the close proximity, if you allow it).
On rare occasions, Childe will be the one to wake you up in the morning instead whenever Zhongli is busy, letting you snuggle in bed a while longer if you want a few extra minutes before smothering you in his affections as he whisks you off from bed to get ready for the day and drop you off in the kitchen where breakfast is waiting on the table.
He will feed you himself if you're still drowsy, looking at you while cooing as though you are the most precious little thing this world has ever given life to (and to be fair, you are the most precious person to him with his family).
Will give you more cheek kisses if you’re still half-asleep, or in-between spoonfuls as a way to let you know you’re doing great... and because why not. It’s a rare moment to have, since Zhongli does hog a lot of your time.
Noon/Afternoon usually has Venti to keep watch over you if you ever choose to nap somewhere random around the teapot outdoors, or somewhere out in the wilds of Teyvat where the weather is just right and the surroundings are generally quiet. If you were outside of the teapot, you’d also have either Kaeya, Xiao or Kazuha to accompany the two of you depending on where you are for extra protection (per Zhongli’s safety precaution).
Venti will hum a song, and maybe strum a calming tune while you nap, happily basking in the gentle breeze and warm sunlight as the day goes by in a very peaceful and quiet manner. If lunch time comes around, he’ll try to wake you up as gently as possible, but finds it difficult to disturb you when you look so comfortable and peaceful right now. (And usually, this has you missing out on lunch if Zhongli is too busy to check up on you. Don't worry though, he'll make sure the packed lunch is empty before the old man drops by and that you did eat something.)
Kaeya will take the chance to cuddle with you, usually keeping you between his legs while you're using his chest as a pillow as your head is tucked in the crook of his neck. He's going to keep a loose hold on you, arms wrapped around your waist while occasionally shifting in case you're uncomfortable. He's smiling the whole time because you're so cute when you sleep like this. (Will occasionally give you kisses on the crown of your head if you don't mind it. Man wants to spoil you with so much love if you allow him to.)
Xiao is 100% attentive to all things in the surrounding, wanting to keep you safe from all potential dangers and will not relax while you're in such a vulnerable state. He will, however, melt when you sleepily call for his name while lazily reaching for him in such a lazy, but cute manner. Just like that, he's right by your side, asking for whatever you need. He's still on guard, but whatever you need, he will be there to provide... kisses and snuggles included, even if he’s struggling to be open about it. 
Kazuha would be smiling serenely, occasionally brushing the hair off your face if it gets in the way of giving you proper sleep. He would take care of problems that may arise before it reaches you, and if you ever have trouble trying to be comfortable, he’ll let you lay your head on his lap while he gently pets your head in such a soothing manner that the nap turns into full on sleep... his legs might go numb, but he just couldn’t wake you up when you looked so peaceful sleeping right there.
Sayu will always accompany you when you’re in Inazuma, mostly because she could find an excuse to sleep with you around when you are getting ready to nap. She’ll be quick to defend you though, because if you get hurt, she’ll lose that excuse and she’ll struggle to find peace to sleep for a while without having people tailing after her.
Dusk/Evening you’re decently awake (or rather, barely awake), Zhongli’s not letting you sleep anymore until later into the night. Ei would keep you company, the time when it’s not so busy for her as things settle down and allow her to spend time with you. She’s honestly just internally squealing when you end up holding onto her hand or sleeve if you’re too groggy to walk by yourself and properly guide your own feet.
Sometimes the Kamisato Clan would be the ones to accompany you, per Ei/Raiden Shogun’s orders. Ayaka used to be on-guard (because how did someone who was barely standing on their own two feet turn the Raiden Shogun into some excitable puppy??) when she first met you, but she got over it after realizing you’re not a bad person after spending enough time with you to see it.
Thoma sometimes coddles you, knowing well enough that you were just tired from the stress of the daily life you used to have when you told him once during a day when he was left to take care of you... He does his best to make sure you were enjoying yourself in the city, keeping a watchful eye in case you’d trip on your own feet.
On rare occasions when even the Kamisato Clan is busy, Kujou Sara would be the one to care for you... as foreign as it was in the beginning, because you’re so idle and pretty sluggish most of the time, but she grew to find these times relaxing. Of course, she is ever watchful for all problems, and when you were awake enough, would be helpful with your foreknowledge if you do remember everything well enough.
When Night falls upon Teyvat, you are fully awake, if only for a while until you grow exhausted again. In these moments, they would all try to spend time with you and gain more of your attention... but aside from that, you would often take strolls on Watatsumi Island, if only because you do sincerely enjoy the scenery the island had during the night... but other times, you would either take a stroll at Starsnatch Cliff or Qingce Village.
Kokomi would be with you, walking alongside you while she admires the sight of your relaxed, fully awake expressions that mostly appears at night. She would keep each of these moments to her heart, knowing that if her God loved Watatsumi as it is, then all her efforts into protecting it was worth it... plus, there was something nice just knowing a God like you enjoying the natural sight of her home while taking a nightly stroll.
Gorou trails behind you like a puppy, basking in the attention you give him and will always be ready to defend you. When you talk, he is absolutely silent, wanting to hear your voice in its more clearer form. He will not be happy if someone interrupts you, definitely will snarl at them if you don’t keep him in check... but aside from that, he will stick close to your side while you’re at Watatsumi Island as your guard with Kokomi.
Diluc will be by your side during the night when you’re in Mondstadt, always looking away when your gaze is directed towards him but otherwise would observe you closely... since he often sees you when you weren’t fully awake. He enjoys seeing this side of you more, and while he does find your sleepy self to be adorable, he likes knowing that you’re aware of everything... It gives him a peace of mind when you do acknowledge his efforts.
Midnight rings clear into the night, the clarity of your mind would return into its sleepy state. You would return back to the Teapot and get ready for bed, tucked in comfortably by one of your acolytes before you slumber until morning rises once more and repeat your day... Sometimes, if you’ve relaxed enough, you might be fully awake for the whole day.
Of course, that is a rare moment that might not always happen, but if you were truly awake for a whole day, none of your acolytes are going to miss this chance and might fight to have your full attention if you don’t give them the satisfactory amount, unless you put your foot down and make sure they behave. 
Aside from that, your cult will always be there for you, ready to take care of you and give you all the affection you want.
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