#we move on so fast these days
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Face-off
YOONGIIIIII!!!! (doing my best JK imitation)
More about Yoongi next but right now...
I can't get Face-Off, off my mind. Jimin reinforced to us that this album was about things he was feeling and going through so naturally that colored how I interpreted the lyrics and tone of the songs on my first listen. This is what I wrote back on March 25 about it:
Maybe he once trusted himself but in this time and place in which he finds himself, he questions what is he doing? and second guessing himself. Day in and day out, the days are all the same nothingness. Hiding his feelings, faking it, pretending it was all ok. It’s all cool. It’ll be all right. He has said many times he looks back at that time and thinks he could have done more for the fans. Being hard on himself. ... Face-Off feels like it could have been a purging song when he wrote it. A little primal, you know… just scream, get it out. Painful but cathartic.
After several weeks now, after being exposed to even more promotional content and interviews and everyone else's take on the songs and album, I can't get the multiple layers of interpretation out of my head.
In one of his interviews, he said the carnival music at the beginning of Face-Off was just something he thought would be interesting. But you could also think of it as the beginning of his self-awareness... his sudden epiphany of his situation and mocking himself as a clown when he was living like a fool.
I originally felt all of the lyrics of the song were directed at himself, he was talking about betraying himself, but was it really friends or people he trusted who betrayed him?
However you want to think about the source of the betrayal, he realizes he had been a fool to trust, the song conveys an overwhelming humiliating feeling of betrayal. He was angry and hurt. And he lashed out.
We know Jimin is a deeply feeling person, so how do you escape the deep anxiety of humiliation, anger and shame? How does he erase the thought that he was too blind to see someone taking advantage of him?
He turned to drinking? He didn't want to be sober. Kill the emotions. Similar to the lyric in Like Crazy: "emotions on ice."
It seems like there was a specific day that was the climax of this betrayal... "a beautiful night" where he finds himself or maybe in other words, reaches a turning point where he can control all the turmoil, feels relief.
"Even though you test me...even though you kill me... even if you stab me more" are highly vicious and violent expressions. A determination to survive no matter how much it hurts. Could be talking to himself, his inner demons, or could be speaking about these people who betrayed him... or could be talking about haters in general.
Whatever this deeply emotional event was for him... that he wrote a song about ... I believe it impacted him in a way that significantly shapes who he is now.
The more I dwell on the lyrics, the more I think about how awful that moment in time must have been for him.
All that being said, multiple interpretations of this song live in my head simultaneously as I listen to it. For me, there is no black and white to what the song means. The meanings and interpretations flow back and forth. He created a great song with strongly emotional lyrics and I'm very proud of him.
#jimin face#jimin face-off#just needed to say a few more words about face-off#we move on so fast these days#i need to marinate in FACE for a while longer#but YOONGI OMFG!#did i mention yet i'm going to see yoongi?
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#sherlock#it might be the cough medicine but I'm really feeling the bbc sherlock wedding episode today#a good feeling ₍՞◌′ᵕ‵ू◌₎♡#like finding an old block of cheese in the back of the fridge you forgot about and its gotten super hard and chewy#i currently have half a block of gouda curating in the vegetable cupboard#waiting#how are you doing friends!! C:#I'm good! I still have the cough but I also got a new scarf#I'm still thinking about buying window colors as well but I am waiting if that is also just because of the cough medicine#I can't believe it's already been a year since I have moved! last year I was doing everything here for the first time#and now everything is happening for a second time! that year was both very long and also happened very fast#our floor in the “office” my father wanted to install still is not completly done but he threw up last time he tried#he did not threw up because of the floor but because every time he does a home renovation project he drinks 3 liters of Cherry Coca Cola#we are trying to not make him drink 3 liters of Cherry Coca Cola but he doesn't want anyone else to finish the floor I think so we just do#not mention the hole in the floor#have a nice autumn day friends!! I hope you're doing well! ( ´͈ ◡ `͈ )#♥
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the difference between these two 🥺 both??
funny story though. my roommate is still taking food but my memory is so bad when it comes to things i don’t eat myself (adhd)
when i talk to friends and family about the situation the first thing they ask is, “are you sure you’re not sleep eating?” which is adorable. they wanna believe, even if for a second, that maybe i’m not truly at fault for making myself into such a cow 🥺 i get it bc im getting very fat even with the thievery but at the same time. im literally being gaslit
#by my roommate#every time j bring smthn up she’s like ‘oh??? that’s crazy??? wow’#snd she’s a bad liar but i’m such a pushover bc#i have had the fridge so filled with food i look like such a pig i can’t blame her#it’s FINE#but how cute. i wanna start sleep eating 🥺#funnel me in my sleep? make me confused as to how i’m gaining so fast?#i wanna ask someone why i’m having such a hard time moving around when im not eating a lot more#cuddle up to me n change the subject if i bring up how fast we ran out of heavy cream this time#<3#talk#ask#does this count for that tag?#what if my feeder gaslit me. in a cute sexy oh u cow kind of way#i swear the funnel moves after each night and i wake so full but obviously im just forgetting where we put it each day#it’s getting hard to fit through the doorway#obviously i’ve just been lazier than normal. no way im getting that fat#we knew i’d have mobility problems but so early on? i just need to get out#it’s not because he’s started to pump more calories into me anyway he can
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Kaeya had always been an efficient and hard-working individual (he had to be to support Diluc in the background as his brother rose thru the ranks after all).
He has so much free time because he completes all his work way ahead of schedule. And if he still has enough time, he adds more to the workload in secret.
And once all of that was done and over with, he makes time for everyone. He has to. He feels as if every moment has to be given to someone else.
No one knows how he does it. No one has to know.
Every mission has a dozen strategies in line, and every battle plan is made with efficiency in mind. His perfect record will not be tarnished. He can't risk it (even if it baffles others that he would willingly activate a ruin guard just to prevent a failed mission. Jean disagrees with his methods, but Kaeya can say that the results say otherwise)
He needs to be quick.
Efficient.
Perfect.
And so he comes and goes like the wind.
Kaeya values time because he knew every second counted. He can't just stand there as if he were frozen. Time could run out in an instant.
Kaeya had only been late once his entire life.
He'd rather he never be late ever again.
It took one day of being of being imperfect for everything to fall apart. On that tragic day...had he gotten there on time... then maybe...
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" Come on, let's get moving, traveler. We're not frozen in place after all. " Kaeya teasingly says. He stiffles a giggle at the traveler's exhasperated sigh.
"Yeah yeah, we've heard enough of you calling us a slacker. Can't you be a bit more patient?" Paimon whines at him.
Kaeya snorts, but acquiesces, hiding the shaking of his hands at the thought of being idle.
He imagines hearing a clock ticking.
Kaeya knows that that is his own problem. He tries his hardest to relax as he waits for the traveler to finish whatever they're making on the alchemy table because, seriously, it is supposed to be a relaxing day. There's nothing major going on, and his schedule is once again empty as intended. What's the hurry?
Kaeya taps his foot on the ground as he waits. He wishes he could take his own damn advice when he tells others to relax.
#kaeyachi randoms#kaeya#kaeya alberich#this is actually shorter than it originally was can yall believe?#kaeya with anxiety truther there i said it#kaeya cant stand being IDLE#get it? get it?#you see that is a play of words in reference to when he is stood idle on our screens. he is one of the more verbally impatient characters#and we also see it reflected on his actions both in fighting and at work. he has a speed boost bonus and if he isnt teleporting he is#actually moving so fast that he seems like it. this is what i also concluded that results him in large amounts of free time that only amber#seemed to be hardpressed about. the people of mondstadt find him reliable and approachable despite the lax attitude and frequent nights at#angels share. we also had lore tidbits before of kaeya straight up saying he finished all his work and jean saying that he also did the#backlogged ones. It is actually insane that we hear him relaxing frequently and i bet its not because of the lack of horses COZ LOOK AT HOW#BUSY THE OTHER CAPTAINS ARE. Also id like to think that he is a toned down noelle and that is why jean told him to watch over her training#give us noelle and kaeya interactions pls i kinda need it tbh#to all those that reached this far into the notes i actually have more to say so get ready#if it wasnt clear the only day he was late was when crepus died. everything fell apart for him that day so i can see some obsessive need to#just keep running around and doing things as efficient as possible. I also think that he found the knights slow and inefficient in several#occasions and he is willing to put them in the line of fire just to get their hearts pumping with adrenaline (and fear lol). idk kaeya is#just so anxiety-coded. impatience-core. Mr. dont waste my time type of guy. and also wow look i found a way to make his idles become angst#silly me ehe#oh youre still here? how about i tell you that kaeya-efficiency-alberich probably knows where everyone is at any time of the day?#can we honestly please give him more free time i need more of him tbh#fun reminder that bro is working around 3-4 jobs casually lmao#i also just realized that the notes is a whole nother post on its own#AND THE ACTUAL FUNNY PART IS I CAN STILL ELABORATE MORE ON THIS LMAO#wait let me add this one tiny idea too but he thinks time is so valuable. bro lost 2 dads and lost time with his bro + he significantly#lessened his time at dawn winery for quite some time. i can see why he is extroverted now.
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#my little brother is engaged :/#don’t know if any of you remember me posting about the whole situation like 8 months ago but i feel soo weird#and sad because i want to b happy for him but he’s six yrs older than her and she’s 19..#or i guess twenty now maybe whatever i feel so aggh. and he moved to a different country so i just feel like i’m never gonna see him again#like i knew this was coming they’re both super religious so i was like yeah they’re going to want to get married and have kids fast but.#it just feels crazy. i know that’s selfish but i have such a bad gut feeling about it that i can’t shake#but i can’t do anything about it so. idk. i just feel so lonely when things like this happen because i don't have anyone outside of the#family bubble to talk to about it. and obviously everyone else is like super happy for them. and it's not that i don't like her! i just#don't really? know her? at all which feels weird because we are a very close sibling group and i feel like i know & get on with my other#siblings' partners. i think it's partly like i just don't ever hang around people who are under twenty so she feels really young to me#which isn't her fault obviously but. do feel kind of scared for her getting married at twenty so she can start having babies.... idk idk#and obviously on top of that it's my younger brother so it does feel a little salt in the wound that he's moving on with his life and i am#counting it a win these days if i don't want to kms every three minutes#god it just sucks lol and i can't talk about it 2 anyone so i am venting here
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2022 I had my life in jersey ripped out from under me and I have spent every day since trying to get back. It’s been an uphill battle every step of the way.
But today.
Today I am back home ❤️
#certified jersey post#we made it back to Eden#(garden state -> garden of Eden)#moving day#my truck with all of my shit still isn’t here tho so I’ve been on the bedroom carpet setting up wifi#and now am sitting on the countertop eating fast food#mama drift was right to put toilet paper and soap and towels in my car and not the truck cuz THAT would’ve sucked lmao#anyway that aside it’s been smooth and hopefully#the unpacking will go fast!
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The pain, the despair, the unmitigated agony of seeing one of your fave fanfic writers move onto another fandom, seemingly never to return.
#stinks to see how many rrr fans have dipped out#on the one hand: I totally get it cuz it’s a single movie and maintaining unlimited enthusiasm for it indefinitely#is an unreasonable expectation#BUT ON THE OTHER HAND!#I’m autistic and actually can maintain unlimited enthusiasm for something pretty much for life lmfao so I can’t relate#I also just feel sad to see how fandom culture moves so much quicker now#cuz there’s a constant never-ending deluge of ‘content’ assailing us from all sides#at all times#so it’s very easy to just burn through something and move onto the next thing#like fast food#not to get snooty about it but it does just feel like another symptom of the ever-increasing SPEED of consumption culture#and the shortening of attention spans that coincide with that#idk at the end of the day I’m just weird for forming lifelong attachments to films & shows#that I rewatch over and over again forever instead of getting into new stuff#so I secretly wish everyone in my fave fandoms could be like me and we could exist in a non-commercial state of suspended time forever#I can dream
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THIS WHOLE SCENE SLAUGHTERED ME *WHEEZING* Ankou is such an instigator, but he is so funny with it LMAOOOOOOOO. i love Adolphe but honestlyyy Ankou was EATING HIM UP in the beginning 😭 he got a few licks back but that was some devious devastation Ankou did
#he really made eye contact with adolphe and decided to drag him by his hair 😭#i am soooo looking forward to the rest of this story omg 😂#also i thought yves moved pretty fast in his route but nah the crown goes to Adolphe! chapter 1 and we already acknowledged that things are#different between us now and we're both vibing with honestly. and thats not even mentioning the clear as day confession of wanting to grow#old together#I'm about to start chapter 2 now. i wonder how ankou is gonna come through with the steel chair and even out the playing field 🤔bc adolphe#already has like a 7 year advantage with his relationship to us#god I'm so glad i got this game#1242.txt#1242 plays snv#shuuen no virche#shuuen no virche spoilers#virche evermore spoilers
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opening the group chat for the first time today and there's like 200 new messages because everyone's Going Through It today it seems but one of my friends dropped 'I'm separating from [terrible boyfriend she's been living with for like eight years] for real this time, I just moved a bunch of stuff to my parents' and I'm losing my mind because y'all the subject changed almost immediately HEY HI EVERYBODY ELSE SHUT THE FUCK UP I WANNA HEAR ABOUT THAT???
#'I moved my stuff and my dog' can't leave the pup behind! 'I had to last winter and it was a big reason I wound up going back' HELLO--#was he holding your fucking dog over your head. I will kill the man?????#I DIDN'T KNOW SHE'S TRIED TO LEAVE HIM BEFORE??#I'm-- so-- okay listen. admittedly I am of course simply nosy. of course I am.#but also I have never liked david Ever. justin and I were LITERALLY talking DAYS ago about Worrying About Her being stuck with him#because she moved TO CALIFORNIA with him and he was being a piece of shit then and she had NOBODY out there#and now they're in denver and like. it's his house it's his money etc etc it's a really... logistically difficult situation#but at least she's made some friends in denver and convinced her parents to move out there so she's not COMPLETELY unsupported#like she was in CA#my point is: I'm nosey but I'm also INVESTED. I fucking hate this guy darling I've wanted you to leave him this entire goddamn time#she's talked *a little* about problems with him before but also we've been around him before and he's just generally awful#and it's. like. I'm so so so fucking glad you're moving in with your parents but also. genuinely are you OKAY--#MAN AND ALSO. EVEN IF IT WASN'T 'I HATE THIS GUY AND I'M WORRIED ABOUT WHAT THE BREAKING POINT WAS--'#THIS IS A SERIOUS LONGTERM RELATIONSHIP? IT ENDING IS A BIG DEAL REGARDLESS?? WHY DID WE CHANGE THE SUBJECT SO FAST HELLO#.... actually I've identified the source of my Wanting More Details#which is: hey babe are you in a phase of this where hearing about how much he fucking sucks shit would be upsetting or affirming.#because I wanna tell you how fucking happy I am that you're leaving him. because he's a piece of shit and you deserve better than that.#ARE YOU IN AN EMOTIONAL SPACE TO HEAR ABOUT HOW I AM SCOOPING YOU INTO MY ARMS LIKE THE CAT SAMURAI MEME.#AND THREATENING THIS MAN WITH A SWORD. BECAUSE HE'S TERRIBLE. CAN I GET A VIBE CHECK THERE. SHOULD I WAIT--
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first female loz director and the gerudo seem to be written fine enough? wow... there ain't no way I thought we were in the worst timeline after totk
Yeah got through the main quest with the gerudo, it wasn't painful! It wasn't even bad! Still got them outfits but for the most part it was like oh cool!
I would say a lot of that oh cool is from the fact they didn't do a lot to even fuck it up to begin with, I'm gonna be real with yall this game is NOT worth $60USD
Edit: lemme say one thing, you know when people were being like damn totk story wasn't dark or mature at all why was this compared to Majora's mask again? And then all the zeldatwt people came out and said zelda is just a kid series domt expect good writing uH
This one feels like a kid's game. That ain't to say it's terrible I would say, hell I'm not far in it if I get something crazy that's like OH FUCK I'll reblog this post and say something but uh.....game for babies I'm gonna be shocked if anyone struggles with any puzzles cuz you CAN CHEESE THEM EASY ITS 🫢🤭
EDIT EDIT: I SWEAR IM NOT EVEN TRYING TO BE A DOWNER..... @ezlo-x HAS BEEN THERE THE WHOLE TIME IVE BEEN PLAYING....THEY KNOW I HAVENT BEEN A PARTY POOPER.....
#its......seems quick#the sidequests are very boring tbh#like this game should of been 45-50 max not 60#its cute i like it so far but oh my god the optimization and game design could of been way better#and after botw/totk like....how do i put this#its like nintendo heard hey we need a LITTLE bit of rail roading and then#😬#basically...example#for a main quest i have to go to 2 places to get people#i went to the 2nd place first and it......didnt update the side quest even though she should of gone to the meeting place#thTs apart of the quest but no i had to go to the 1st guy no matter what#and its like.....hey botw not totk would do that#most GAMES in general now wouldnt do something like that#also yall gonna hate the fact there is no organization or favorites tool for the echoes#game is fun so far but uH#i got through the first dungeon FAST FAST like this is not a return to form#minish cap dungeons i dont think were that fast and theyre simple#also anyone that says this dorsnt have mechanics from the wilds games yes it does#tri has an ability thats JUST ultra hand#oh and its not good in this game#yall gonna fucking hate it#unless somehow a pirated version doesnt allow you to rotate the fucking item or move it in a way that goes behind me#without me locking off and then back on again after repostioning myself#im worried its a feature and not an anti piracy measure#me and GC are gonna finish this up this week but dang i havent even done the whole first part of the main quest#if i had this on the switch i could see how fast i could play through the game WHILE talking to people and having fun and exploring#also oh my god the zora side quest very cute but when eveeyone knows how the game goes ill make one complaint in the tags one day#funny thing its not story....ITS GAMEPLAY#yhe story in the game is fine and i say that cuz its....very simple#HELL A LOT OF NPCS DONT GOT NAMES THAT ARE VISIBLE
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Thinking about this quote recently
#nitw#night in the woods#nitw screenshot#nitw mae#the screenshot looks so chaotic lmao#it’s dialogue that moves on without you hitting a button so like#had to get it fast#been thinking about this not necessarily in the context of sleep but like#I hurt my wrist yesterday and they both hurt today and I’m having to take ibuprofen to get through the day#and I can’t just take a day off bc I need money#so I literally have to drug myself to get through the day#bc I can’t afford not to#we live in a hellscape#anyway!#if you read the tags no you didn’t <3
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Just saw this comment on a story posted a month ago.
*cries in Eddie Munson Solo Series no one wanted to read, interact with or request for*
No shade to the person that commented this on their own fic if you recognize it. It's not their fault. I'm not mad at them. More crying in the tags.
#and no I didn't tag the solo series like I normally would because it's not about THAT. It's not about trying to get people to read it#It was just really ouchie to see the same concept I wrote 2 years ago get triple the notes in ONE MONTH.#and double the notes of my solo series masterlist in general in one month vs 2 years of my stories sitting there rotting#Then I see people saying they need more solo Eddie and I'm just here like my dudes I begged for requests. BEGGED. But bc I wasn't#/have never been a popular writer people don't want it from ME. It's like omg we want THIS but not like that. Not from you.#Can't help but let it get you down when nothing has changed in 2 years. It's not like I worked my way up and have the interaction now#that every other blog I used to commiserate with back in the day is getting currently. Fandom isn't a competition but it's not fair either#and I really struggle with that a lot of the time#Also yes I will concede I should be happy with the notes on the solo series because they are the highest of all the work on my page but#they're still nothing compared to what some people have just hours after posting a new story.#I saw someone complaining the other day that there are less new stories in the fandom than ever 1. That's simply not true. 2. Even if it wa#can you blame writers for giving up when readers are checking the same popular blogs over again or reading the same 5 tropes the same#2 pairings over and over. The same series? Over and over. Ignoring everything else and then complaining that their faves don't post enough?#That the popular writer with the incredible series (that rightfully deserves interaction) hasn't posted a new dad!eddie or rockstar!eddie#drabble in ages meanwhile there are writes out there pouring their souls into dad!eddie and no one reads it. There is so much rockstar Eddi#smut out there that it could sustain a brand new reader for an entire year before they needed a new fic#Idk man. I'm just feeling so defeated. I write for fun now. But there was a point in time where I desperately tried to build a platform by#offering requests and writing a lot of things I would not otherwise write to try and gain traction on my page and every time I see another#food fucking fic get hundreds of notes I get so sad that I wrote that stupid Melon fic because I had people in my life that told me#they would be excited to read it and for what? One of them still talks to me. The others moved on so fast. Most didn't even reblog it.#Some of them have since written their own food fucking fics that got triple the notes of my OG. Again. No shade to them. I don't own the#concept. It's just disheartening and fucking sad above all else. How hard I tried to get people to LIKE me and my stories. 😂#Just sad hours in general tonight my guys. Going to go and pour the bad feelings into Aftermath and then maybe make a bad life choice and#pour all my savings into an ipad#YES I KNOW first world problems. I know. That's why I try not to talk about it bc it seems so petty considering the state of the world#But you can't help what gets you down#EMMs Journal#EMM's Journal
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the first colored sketch of zero i made ⁉️
#mega man x#mmx zero#mmx#megaman#zero#i think this was from may? anyway i am never finishing it so its getting sent out now as is#my interest in mm was always present my whole life but properly kicked off in very late march and has been going strong since#which for me pretty much means its a forever series now as i tend to move on fast and if smth can make it past my 30 day brain trial#we are linked for life#the empty chasm which is his chest here bc i forgot the ventilation system or whatever that little AC unit between his orbicals is#>mine_>art
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its always a good time when theres a color in the toilet u only ate like 3hr ago or ???????? cant remember last time and that color is red
#either my watermelon was poison (very possible the superstore smelled like a whole salmonella outbreak it was horrid)#or im losing chunks of flesh#or im.forgetting the last time we had tomatos but it had to be at least 3 days ago#like it was CHONKS not blood so theres that#but i am mystified at how my digestive tract apparently moved that watermelon so fast
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#sometimes I will think about this quote I read once that said ‘Shakespeare wrote better than he could write. Michael Angelo painted#better than he could paint’ and the point was just. the art as something almost speaking through the artist#especially at certain points#and I feel that way about Taylor#I don’t know how to explain it but sometimes I hear her songs so differently than at other times#like sometimes. (this is going to sound insane) sometimes they sound too fast to me#like. it’s TOO efficient.#in terms of structure#because she is BRUTALLY efficient almost#and sometimes (sorry I keep using the word sometimes) I just want to reach out my hand and like. rest it over the song#and tell it to breathe. and at other times I can FEEL the song slot into place and I can feel the depths reached and I can feel the stars#align into place as she taps into the greater truth#like the first time I heard loml#and burst into tears#or when I listened to it again when I was on a drive in the mountains with Nina and I just started sobbing at the end#it doesn’t hit for me every single time (though every time it’s a good song)#is what I’m trying to say#and I think it’s because Taylor’s talent is the most restless spirit I’ve ever seen. she’s like a beanstalk growing right in front of me#and so as wonderful as she is she is never as wonderful as she WILL be#and I hate that attitude generally (so much) of being like ‘she’s just getting started that’s the crazy’#but the truest comments about Taylor ALWAYS say that#and it’s always struck me as true!!!! and that is why every album is better than the last and to an extent makes her previous work#look small in hindsight.#I keep being so struck by tortured poets and the way it has synthesized the personal and the storytelling#into a new blend we have NEVER seen before. the muses are present but theY ARE NOT PRESENT IN THE SAME WAY#they do ! not ! matter ! the way they used to#in her art she is getting farther away from what we call diaristic songwriting and she is moving deeper into the world of art#and as she does it you can FEEL (or at least I can feel or at least I think I can feel) the lightning and thunder (so to speak) gathering#in her heart and in her mind and in her journey and she is going to EXPLODE one of these days
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the fact i can stay up for over 24 hrs while already running on less than 10 hrs of sleep before that and still have yet to be a normal about of tired is both surprising and FUCKING ANNOYING
#god someone sedate me#like i dont wanna go to sleep bc i dont feel tired and i cant begin to go to sleep unless i feel tired otherwise i wont sleep as fast#my eyes feel heavy but not in a sleepy way idk. i can feel my brain detereorating as we speak BUT I CANT BRING MYSELF TO FUCKING SLEEP#if i get temporary insomnia because of fKN JAYVIK??? idk what i'll do but i will be shocked either way#which yes thats part of the reason ive been staying up all week its to browse the jayvik tag n lose track of time#but also i tried to go to sleep yesterday bc i was tired and i woke up like 4 hours later and couldnt sleep again so thats annoying#even when i try i cant do it HAHA but yeah i think ive been awake for over 24hrs which makes abt <10hrs combined for like 3 days#also ive saw some shadows move so thats how that is going rn HAHA#so im doing great and my mental health is at an all time high🫠👍🏻#i'll take a melatonin gummy and see how that works out i guess. at least i dont work tomorrow lmao (or i guess today now technically)
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