#AND THE ACTUAL FUNNY PART IS I CAN STILL ELABORATE MORE ON THIS LMAO

[a-star-that-burns-brightly]

I'm not gonna lie, it doesn't really make a lot of sense to me when people say that Eden being the culprit doesn't make sense from a narrative/story perspective, or that they "don't see her killing someone" I mean to-each-their-own obviously, but like, at the same time...the entire theme of this chapter is that not everything is as it seems. Your preconceived notions of the people around you based on the parts of themself they present to you are bound to be contradicted by an action they take, or a side of themselves that's kept hidden away. This theme was set up in the first episode of Chapter 2 with J's secret, which I elaborate more on in this post, where she is revealed to have a completely different identity that nobody in the cast was aware of, and that identity of hers is met with spectacle and admiration when J's life is really nothing to admire. Another thing that sets up this narrative is also just the secrets motive in general. From a meta standpoint, I think the secrets motive is meant to challenge us the audience and the preconceived notions we have about these characters, what we believe they are capable of doing to others, to themselves, and in general who they are as people. I remember back when the episodes were still being released seeing paragraphs of defenses in comment sections in regards to David, how he wasn't a manipulator because of this that and the third, how he was only trying to help and that he couldn't had been malicious in his intention. And I can attest to that, because I was one of those people lmao. And as we know now, David did end up being the one with the manipulator secret and showing a much more ugly side of himself that many didn't take kindly to, because it contradicted what we knew about who he was, or more accurately, what we wanted to believe he was. And I use David as an example here, because this pattern can be seen with multiple characters throughout the chapter. Arei, who up until this point had been portrayed as nothing more than a mean, merciless bully, had her past and true-feelings spilled out on full display, leading to her allowing herself the chance to become a better person. This is almost the exact opposite of what happened to Nico, who was portrayed as a timid, defenseless individual constantly catching the brunt of Ace's assault, only to show that they are a much more nefarious person than you would first assume, more than willing to tie a wire around Ace's neck if pushed to their boiling point. And the funny thing about these two examples is that even after these sides of their characters were revealed to us, people still allowed their established notions of the characters to overrule it. People theorized that Arei was lying, or just putting on another manipulative show again. People theorized that actually Nico was just trying to take the wire off of Ace's neck, that Ace actually killed himself and was just pinning it on Nico, or that Hu was somehow responsible and that she was manipulating Nico into doing it, or was just straight-up the one who tried to kill Ace. And there's nothing wrong with any of these theories in the moment, even though I'd say with present information that all of them have been de-confirmed. The reason I'm mentioning them is that it goes to show that if you have a certain view of a character that you have become attached to, and something comes along and contradicts that view, your brain searches for ways to justify the previous view you had. Even in the case of Arei and Nico where, to be fair, the previous perspective wasn't entirely wrong, people still feel strange when they see something that contradicts it.

All of this brings us to David, who as I mentioned previously, was continuously defended in the weeks before CH2-11 dropped because people didn't want to believe he was as manipulative as a lot of the fandom made him out to be. And then CH2-11 actually dropped, and possibly the most unsavory side of David was revealed to us in full display. And despite the fact that the legitimacy of how much of David's true colors is being shown is still a big question mark to this day, and the fact that this side of himself gets approximately seventeen minutes of screen-time, a lot of people were incredibly quick, and I mean quick, to immediately dismiss it as bad writing. Instead of actually thinking for a moment about why this writing decision would be made, they wrote off David as a one-dimensional bad guy to the point of even calling him a cartoon villain. It's hard to believe now considering how much effort the community has put into the past year to dissect every aspect of this blueberry-haired motherfucker, but there were people who were genuinely pissed when CH2-11 dropped. "Hey, this is all well and good but uh...I thought this post was about Eden? Why are you bringing up all these other characters?" Well I'm glad you asked, voice that I made up in my head to transition cleanly to my next point. The thing that all three of these characters, Arei Nico and David have in common, is that they all serve to challenge what we know about these characters and introduce a side of them that goes against our current knowledge, and it's up to us as an audience to either accept this as part of who they are as a person, or deny it in favor of the narrative we've grown comfortable with. And I really do think that is an intentional part of the story being told within Chapter 2, especially when characters like Hu also exemplify these tendencies in how she defends David and tries to see the good within him, deflecting away from the uncomfortable truth that he is not all he presents himself to be. All that glitters is not gold, not everyone is as they appear to be. Which brings us, finally, to Eden Tobisa. And how a lot of the arguments against the theory that she is the one who killed Arei greatly confuse me, and why I think a lot of it falls along this line of thinking.

I see quite a few people implying that the idea of Eden being the CH2 culprit is inherently, as a concept, bad writing, how it doesn't fit with her character, and other things along those lines. It's actually very similar arguments that I saw used to deny the idea that David was manipulative. But I do not see this to be the case. In fact, I think out of everyone currently alive in the cast, Eden being the culprit is what would fit the best with the narrative and story that has been established. This chapter, as I've mentioned previously, has challenged our perspectives of these characters and what we know about them, emphasizing that what we see of them might not be the full-picture of who they are as people. So quite frankly, why wouldn't the culprit be the most positive, seemingly hopeful girl in the entire killing game cracking under it's pressure and resorting to murder? An aspect of Eden's character that I think goes overlooked quite often is that, though she is not by any means naive and her optimism is genuine, her positivity can definitely seep into toxic positivity on more than one occasion. Specifically when applying it towards herself.

(x) Teruko: You seem quite chipper this morning, even though you were distraught last night. Eden: ...Yeah, I know. I'm really sorry about yesterday. Eden: I was in a new, scary situation, and I let myself get too upset. But that was a mistake, I'm not going to let myself be weak like that anymore. Eden: I'll do my best to encourage everyone from now on!

(x) Levi: I suppose I could say the same for you, can't I? Today you're just as cheerful as you've ever been. Eden: I'm glad you think so. I'm wearing my brave face, see? Eden: Everyone is probably going to be sad for a while. For their sake, and for mine, I'll put on a happy smile!

(x) Eden: [Sniff] Whit: There, there. Pat pat. Do you want to sit down somewhere else? Eden: ....... Eden: I'm fine! I just... needed a second to deal with it. Eden: I'm super ready to investigate! I'll do whatever I can to help find Arei's killer.

I want you to pay attention to the third scene I linked especially, because I think it re-contextualizes the other two scenes mentioned. I hope this does not need to be spoonfed, but just to be clear: I am not at all saying that Eden's positivity is fake or fabricated, I think her optimism is a very real aspect of her. That being said, despite her believing that the best way to make it through this killing game is to express grief and rely on others and how she does acknowledge the severity of the situation on multiple occasions, she has never really allowed herself to grieve her current situation. She refers to her very reasonable response to the death game as a weakness, and she outright admits to Levi that she is putting on a brave face for herself and the others. And in the third clip, it's not even being hidden from the audience anymore, especially with how the line is voiced. It's like Eden's VA was specifically instructed to sound as if she were forcing a smile. What this all means, to me anyway, is that there is a lot of stress, fear, and sadness bubbling under Eden's skin that she's purposefully keeping hidden, for herself but especially for the others. That doesn't mean she is good at it, mind you, as Eden at the end of the day is still someone who's feelings are practically sewn into her sleeve, but she is trying. And it's clear it is having an impact on her. Couple that with the fact that Eden very clearly wants to escape really fucking badly, if her constant attempts to find a solution to end the killing game are anything to go by. Especially in Chapter 2. (credit to @/venus-is-thinking for pointing this out in their post)

(x) Eden: So uh... I've been spending a lot of time investigating around, looking for a potential exit

(x) Veronika: You know, Eden once thought of an interesting plan to end the killing game. Based on everything we know, it could theoretically work.

(x) Hu: Eden and I have a continuous alibi from 7 PM to 10 PM. It has become a bit of a tradition for the two of us to clean up after dinner together Hu: And after we were done, we talked for quite some time, brainstorming ways to deal with the motive.

Eden has been more obsessed than anyone else over the prospect of ending, dealing with, or escaping the death game. (just as a side note cause it goes outside the scope of this post, this is also why it doesn't make sense when I see people say that Eden doesn't have a motive to kill, because...she does? Fuck if anything she is probably the person who currently wants to escape this death game the most. I understand if that doesn't sound like a satisfying motive to you, but she does have a motive.) Also couple all of this with the constant arguing of the rest of the cast, and her literally witnessing Nico try to kill Ace in front of her eyes, all the while she is trying to put on a positive smile for everyone else and herself. I really do not see why it is so unbelievable that she would break and try to commit murder. And really, I do think it's primarily because of how the fandom as a whole views Eden, which is why I spent a large majority of this post talking about the themes of Chapter 2 and how they interact with how the audience sees the characters. Another theme that has been explored in this chapter is the idea of a Good Person. Specifically, what makes someone a good person, and the desire to become one. And how is this theme introduced into the chapter?

(x) Levi: Perhaps I messed up yesterday. But I want to move on. I want to keep trying to be a 'good person,' like you, Eden.

Through the existence of Eden. With every other character in the DRDT cast, there is at least one attribute about them or action they take, that would reasonably warrant them being disliked, or seen as not the best person. Even other characters serve a similar role in the narrative, like Whit and Hu, have things about them that could result in this opinion. Like Whit's insensitivity and uncaring behavior towards the dead, and Hu using other people to make herself feel useful. But Eden is viewed, both within the story and outside it, as an undeniable good person. There's a reason why you basically never see a genuine Eden hater in a wild because...well, what is there to dislike her for? She's kind, she's caring, she's helpful, and she tries her best for everyone around her. In the midst of a story where the characters are constantly being pushed to the brink and fucking up, Eden has done literally nothing wrong. She has been a victim of circumstance or other people victimizing her. And the one time she is antagonized in the story it's by a character who, up until a few minutes after, we have basically only seen as a mean bully. Eden has done nothing wrong. Eden is the picture-perfect presentation of a good person. But I think by the end of Chapter, as a climax to both of the themes that permeate it's narrative

That will no longer be the truth.

[mikodrawnnarratives]

TW BLOOD

(bit ltr on)

TW REFERENCED CHARACTER DEATH

@naffeclipse

Part 1 | Part 2 | This is Part 3 | Extra

Gonna add some after comic shenanigans because I have thought of a LOT

It'll be linked as Extra

likely will be comprised of memes with maybe some serious

Long post under the cut!

And rambling right after like. a lot. jkfdjklsd

It’S DONE

Well besides the extras and memes I’ll include in another part that. I don’t know when I’ll finish. But stay tuned I’m gonna go ham. I can't wait to share the memes especially loll

Fair warning my rambling here gets a little all over the place so if I repeat myself. Sorry lol. 

If I knew how to include a second read more I would

anyway , I think I've made this comic lighter towards the end of this comic (both on purpose with the backgrounds and story lol) but this ending I hope is a combination of bittersweet and hopeful. Y/n gets to have a new family and connection to humanity that I think would be beneficial. 

How they’d take finding out Y/n is a VAMPIRE is it’s own can of worms that you can decide for yourself how would go down. Best outcome is that Y/n continues to watch over the generations influenced by Vanessa and her family during their immortality. 

Gregory and Cassie still haven’t been introduced in the Naff’s Cryptid Sightings universe by the time I post this, so if/when they are their characterization most likely will be different. And ggy likely won’t be placed in the au. Which is completely understandable! Tho an alternative path following canon fnaf more with 3 star fam, ggy n such is a concept I LOVE in the Cryptid Sightings world! I’ll go into it more ltr

Greg and Cass already have cryptid parents but now they get Uncle Eclipse and Uncle/Aunt/Pibling/Auncle/Etc Y/n. And Y/n gets to have one more purpose in protecting these ppl they will grow to care a lot about that knew Vanessa when Y/n couldn’t connect with her. Lots of sharing stories abt Vanessa occurs.

I’ll joke abt this in the extras & memes part but I think It would be so funny if Y/n can one moment be depressed and then Eclipse mentions Cass & Greg and they’re like “RIGHT I NEED TO PLAN HOW IM GONNA SPOIL THEM FOR THEIR BIRTHDAY” or “I LOST TO GREGORY LAST TIME IT WON’T HAPPEN AGAIN” or “I NEED TO CHECK UP ON THEM AND MAKE SURE THEY’RE ACTUALLY RESTING AFTER THEY FOUGHT THAT CRYPTID”

Eclipse is simultaneously grateful they have a new source of motivation, they haven’t seen you like this in a while, and he doesn’t dislike Gregory or Cassie. BUT since Cassie and Gregory are still Cryptid Hunters, it isn’t IDEAL lmao

On to elaborating on the comic: I love 3 star fam (by extension cassie) and Vanessa had growth offscreen so now her dying wish to y/n is like:

Nessie: hey. Make sure my kids (that aren't kids anymore) don't die ok cool cool

Sure Greg and Cass have Freddy and Roxy but between:

Demonic cryptids that have no experience being a human NOR a cryptid hunter human at that 

Vs

Friend that might just be there still since if these cryptids could have humanity there's a chance my friend sending me memes that are so in character with their personality is ALSO still human despite being vampire and maybe ness & them could reconcile and Greg and Cass could finally meet the only person ness would have considered family and-

Nessie never would have considered y/n still having their humanity if it weren't for Freddy and by extension Roxy 

And btw Ness would not have given her phone to y/n if she wasn't sure that y/n wouldn't hurt Greg and Cass.

She. Didn't expect y/n to go the extra mile and meet them in person. The phone would give y/n their contact information and all the photos of memories they missed out on

Y/n cries when they unlock ness's phone and Nessie still hadn't changed her password

The video she made that y/n sees at the end is when she was first entertaining the idea of y/n possibly still having their humanity, but still wasn’t sure. It was a video that she only ever planned on y/n seeing if she either died and/or she was sure y/n was still human in some regard. She wanted to leave y/n with something in that scenario.

Vanessa here meeting Vanessa in Cryptid Sightings and Lost episode canon would certainly be something. Vanessas from canon Cryptid Sightings would just. Not know how Vanessa got over it and neither does Ness here know

Also, there are some details for this canon divergence au that are completely settled to me and other details I don't have a solid idea for. Like, I'm not SET on how Nessie and Greg would meet, ness and Cass, if it would be at the same time, who would be doing the glitchtrapping.  Prob becuz some of those are still unclear in canon canon FNAF and others I'm just indecisive

I'll leave it a little loose, up in the air

Also the possession being done by the same cryptid wouldn’t be possible with Cryptid sighting’s universe rules so. I’m not gonna bother figuring out those details for this comic. 

But I do love the idea of Nessie growing closer to Greg and Cass and at least Ness and Greg sharing a bond over dealing with Glitchtrap

Speaking of glitchtrapped GGY in cryptid au-

The wizards FAVORITE now being in same universe as demonic cryptids that would absolutely want to slaughter Glitchtrap for possessing a KID? Making him kill multiple people, including a kid his age? Tasty. Scrumptious. I want to make a separate post just thinking Abt how canon crew for cryptid sightings might react to GGY, especially Cryptid Sun & Moon/Eclipse. I'll save most of that rambling for that potential post since there's so much angst potential. 

While im here, I’ll ask. Naff, how would Eclipse react to a child, possessed by a demonic cryptid, having killed other children? Or. Is that a spoiler since these characters could be introduced in a reunion work and whether Cassie gets possessed to mirror canon fnaf is still up in the air? 👀

@/puhpandas can be blamed for my brain rot of the GGY story and dr rabbit stuffs and the potential it could bring.

Tho I don't expect to see GGY in any continuations of cryptid sightings lol I don't know how that would work when cryptid sightings already has laid down rules for possession in that universe and Glitchtrap is already gone. I'll happily see what Gregory and Freddy are like when they (hopefully) appear in future continuations of cryptid sightings

But since this is canon divergence I can indulge in three star fam real quick

To follow canon canon FNAF (or at least the fanon built off of the scrapped security breach canon as well as what stayed in sb), Vanessa would be saved by Gregory and Freddy, I'm undecided if Cassie would join in sooner or later. Nessie would regardless have to stomach being around kids that remind her of her trauma since she can't just fully IGNORE them. Gregory would have no one since I love the angst of the theory he killed his loving family as GGY 

So. Nessie would probably know that and it would make the situation hard.

Vanessa would grow a bond with Gregory and Freddy at some point, Gregory has a head start  due to. Y'know. Glitchtrap. Hard to not have some sort of connection to the kid that went through what you did too.

Anyway, Vanessa here would be saved by Gregory and Freddy to match up with canon. Or at least, the fanon I subscribe to for security breach since canon was lack luster and scrapped all the good ideas for Vanessa last minute.

Nessie and Gregory would have the shared experience of dealing with Glitchtrap trauma and Cassie gets roped, just like canon, with the whole Mimic situation. Then Nessie has two kids that she can't fully ignore but also can't stomach COMPLETELY being there for. Fun.

But since I adore 3 star fam too much, Vanessa is able to grow attached to Gregory like a big sister eventually (i adore big sis nessie dkljssfkld look at @/boringa55binch 's stuff you'll get ITTT)

When I'd imagine Cassie would be introduced, I bet Nessie would have a harder time with her around since what we've seen of Cassie in canon is only of her getting fooled. I bet Nessie would have a harder time around her for that reason.

But it's not like she COULD leave them completely alone since she's the one with the most cryptid hunting experience. And if these kids are SO INSISTENT about getting into trouble, fine. She owes them after all

I've been undecided if Cassie would be apart of the gang when Nessie is saved so that's up in the air for what ppls like most

Time skip is about 20-30 years ltr I've determined so, Ness did die when she was relatively young. (The circumstances of how she died are a plot device yes i will admit shush it isn’t terribly important sorry jklfdsjksfd)

I'm not the greatest at drawing aged characters so there you have it, Cassie and Gregory are in their late twenties early thirties.

Nessie knows it is a gamble to ask Y/n this favor. But, she's a worried big sis, being around Roxy and Freddy I bet would have softened her heart to the general idea of cryptids not being bad, and y/n doesn't seem to be bad atm. It could be a ghost that'll haunt watch over them, or Nessie's best friend can continue to be long distance buds with Nessie's new family.

And if Y/n was truly gone and all that remained was the vampire tendencies, by this point she has trust Gregory, Cassie, Freddy, and Roxy can keep each other safe. If it was truly a mistake to give y/n her trust.

So, that's why y/n hypes themself up and visits the graveyard when Gregory is there. And it did take a lot out of them but y'know I like the idea of y/n getting close with the gang.

It does make the next cryptid reunion a little weird.

Y/n & Eclipse: YOU DIDN'T MENTION VANESSA WAS A PART OF THE CREW NOW??

Freddy & Roxy: YOU NEVER TOLD US ABOUT VANESSA

Like, imagine both describing Vanessa in previous reunions, and NOW they're finding out it was the same person.

Vampire reveal set aside for later, this is y/n's newest reason to LIVE (mentioned earlier im gonna indulge on details down here)

They can't die yet! They still have memes to send to these kids! Jokes to tell! Series to make them binge with Y/n over a call! This is the gosh darn happiest Eclipse has seen them in decades!!

Flipping between seeing Gregory and Cassie as their nephew and niece and competing with Freddy and Roxy over the title of parent. Regardless of age. (they joke but Y/n never actually competes for the title, they are much too anxious of doing something wrong. Plus, Roxy and Freddy would be pretty tough to beat)

I also think it would be hilarious if Y/n sent out Eclipse with a chancla when Gregory does a Human Hero Complex goof up that painfully reminds y/n of their Human Hero Complex goof ups. He isn't allowed to make the same mistakes without consequence. And y/n WILL stay back in the bushes with goggles to SEE IT HAPPEN. Eclipse ain't worried abt y/n's mental state when they're too invested with their Nephew and Niece.

Gregory: We are adults.

Y/n: Yeah but you're also stupid humans who don't know when to quit.

Eclipse does get a chuckle they're now complaining so much abt human's having these stupid hero/martyr complexes when they were a human not so long ago themself lol

and

didn't mention before but

Y/n and Vanessa compared to Cassie and Gregory parallels that would could be explored.

ANYWAY (get an “anyway” tracker for this post 💀)

Cryptid Sightings doesn't have Cassie or Gregory in their cast of characters yet so (i think I mentioned this earlier but still), this could age. As of writing this, no reunion fic has been published. Might make a note of that if I release this after the fact. But still. Indulge with me in the hyjinks. I haven’t even begun on Freddy being a dad to y/n and possible Roxy dynamic with y/n lolll.

This au of an au of an au still has lots of angst to be explored like. Oh yeah, Gregory was controlled by Glitchtrap too and has a fuck ton of ptsd SINCE HE WAS TWELVE

Fun discussion for later at thanksgiving over zoom. One that Greg is just like: Can we get back to video games pls. now.

The bombshell that will be Y/n revealed to be a Vampire is still up in the air like I said earlier. But, y'know, it might go better this time.

Y/n hopes for that. Hopes. Funny, you haven't smiled this much in a while.

Vanessa's death hurts. Both of them were too young for their fates. It hurt especially when they were saying goodbye for the very last time. Nessie's death was coming and Y/n knew that, but at the same time. Y/n can focus on caring about people Nessie cared about. People Nessie trusted them to care for.

I like the idea of Y/n continuing to watch over and keep in contact with the people Nessie has impacted in some way. Nessie to Gregory and Cassie to whoever they inspire and have become their successors. And they got so much more they are looking forward to now. Knowing humans and sticking around them even digitally has its risks but I think it could be pretty grounding. They have even more dates to look forward to aside from halloween. Which, will be fun to celebrate with Gregory and Cassie fam.

They can't wait to do some more living.

[mydarlingbat]

BATMAN #1 1940 REVIEW.

Alright i want to elaborate on Batman #1 1940. This issue is great. I enjoy the first part of the comic. It was really, really good. Batman heard the Joker was murdering people and the Joker even announces he's going to murder certain people, but Batman informs to Dick Grayson that the time isn't ripe? Like what are you even talking about? And then he waits even longer, however he decides to show up when brute Nelson decides to set the Joker up and kill him, and then all of a sudden Batman's ready to come into action. He saves the Joker from getting shot, and then the Joker knocks him off the bridge into the water. He makes it out alive, and proceeds to say 'I finally found a foe who gives a good fight' in so many words. Are you kidding me??? I mean Batman was obsessed with the Joker from the beginning, and the Joker kidnaps robin. He ties him to a chair, in addition to that Batman shows up to knock the Joker out, and then he fights with him some more. The Joker keep shouting for Batman to die, and then the Joker slips off the building not too long after. guess what? Batman saves him again. Let's not forget he says 'you're to valuable to lose 'I mean what? You just met him Bruce. The rating is 7 out of 10

Now the other short story in Batman #1 is about professor strange. The beginning is pretty funny. The part when Hugo strange says to get the warden body so he can use it as a shield. I was laughing so hard, but I'm not going to go into too much detail about this part, but Hugo strange create monsters to terrorize the city obviously. The monsters throws cars around the city. They tried to harm innocent civilians. Batman then decides it's time to stop Hugo strange, although he doesn't see the two giant hands ready to catch him. Lmao. I still don't understand how he couldn't see them, so now he's trapped. Hugo strange explains how he created the serum, and how human glands growth or something help with that. He then injects it in Batman's arm. Batman throws Hugo strange off a building. Batman causes the Giants to kill each other, and then he makes a cure in one minute. Like really though??? Then Batman kill the last two Giants. Yep! you heard that right. He hung one, and knock the other off the building. Lol The rating is a 5 out of 10

The other short story of this issue Is about Robin handling a case alone without Batman. lemme tell you it's pretty boring. Catwoman is thief who stole the necklace and other shiny things she adores.. She eventually flirts with Batman. Then she asks him to be her partner. Look it's soooooooo boring. I actually think Catwoman being reveal actually makes it interesting. This rating is a 3 out of 10

The other short story of Batman #1 is about the Joker again. The Joker escapes prison with the two hidden fake teeth in his mouth. He unscrews them from out of his mouth. I'm as confused as you are about this... Plus it has a chemical in them too, which can cause an explosion. Oh my god that's so stupid though, but anyways the Joker escapes prison by blowing it up, and he start murdering people once again. Now theses cops in this issue are so dumb. I mean the Joker get through everytime, and they convince the people who the Joker threatens to murder, that they'll be okay. No one's getting through here. Like why are you lying? Batman arrives to stop the Joker, but the Joker wounds up dying at the end. I do love how Batman said he'd love to stick his hands around the Joker's lily neck. The rating of this short story is 6 out of 10

[seaofreverie]

Sparkstember Day 19: Lil' Beethoven (Ride 'Em Cowboy)

First of all, let this very important fact be known: the love I have for all three albums in the Lil' Beethoven trilogy cannot be overstated. I think I can safely call them my favourite pieces of art ever made. You know, when you look forward to something and it not only lives up to all your expectations but it's also just SO SO much more? Something about this neoclassical / dada / deconstruction of pop music / whatever-you-should-even-call-it approach is absolutely PERFECTLY suited for my tastes, and I didn't even know I was looking for something EXACTLY like this until I found it.

I think the circumstances of my first hearing of this album are pretty funny and something I got pretty lucky with actually (I often think about this with Sparks in general, as much as I wish I've known about them sooner I also do feel like they appeared in my life when I needed that the most. But anyway.) I was very eagerly looking forward to hearing it and finally seeing for myself what the genius of this album is all about. But I insisted that I can only do it through a physical format because yesss, let's make it even more *special*! The moment I've been waiting for! So yeah let's gooo, I need to wait until my CD arrives in the mail (that was one of the longest weeks of my life). And then I started to wonder, well, maybe I actually won't like it that much. To hype myself up to this extent and then be severly dissapointed - would have sucked!

Well, I was NOT dissapointed. Instead I was perplexed, confused, but also very intrigued and quite, ok not just quite, *completely* amazed already. That was the initial reaction and I think it's a rare but very beautiful moment when this happens - no need to *fully* grasp it right away, but enough to be all like "oh that was SOMETHING. I need more." As I said after that first listen (and I actually have my whole LIVE reaction to hearing LB written down lmao, that's how much of a big deal this was for me), I felt like it actually has to grow on me a bit still, gradually but surely with each next listen, rather than the 1st listen being THE prime listening experience. And that was very true! But it wasn't even gradual, it was very fast, seriously. And something very important that stood out to me right away too were the melodies - something about them, and that continues into HYL and ECOTD too. It's this classic feeling of: this always existed, or at least it feels like I've known it for years already. And as I listen more and become more familiar with them the magic still grows.

It's of course no coincidence to me that an album that relies so much on extreme levels of repetition is so addicting, even hypnotising. And once upon a time I thought that I couldn't like something that's too repetitive and therefore could be considered monotonous or "predictable". But nothing is predictable about LB actually. (Besides... ok, I'll get to that one bit later). But yeah, it's good for the brain. And it's been said before by others but this music definitely has this certain neurodivergent appeal thanks to all this, and, well, I love that aspect of it so much and I definitely relate to it on some level that goes even deeper than just song topics and instrumentation choices. It's in the structure and the fundaments of it all too.

I legally can't finish this without a dedicated paragraph to the 2004 Live In Stockholm performance because HOLY SHIT. Feeling so lucky again that all three of these albums got this treatment and we have recordings of these half-concert-half-performance-art pieces that we can now marvel at. I will say that like, a pretty big part of the sum of the appeal that LB has as an album is stored in this show and its visual and narrative elaboration on its themes. And also it's just so fun to watch! Sometimes I thought about how this might be an even better introduction to LB / this era of Sparks / Sparks in general than the actual album but well, never had a chance to test that and you know. Maybe shouldn't recommend Sparks with one of the most leftfield things there is to be found from them. Either way, very good, very important, felt like experiencing the power of LB for the first time all over again.

So now, please hear my exact reasonings for why I so deeply love (almost) every single one of these songs......

The Rhythm Thief

NO song made such a big impression on me the first time I heard it as this. I might have gotten more used to it after all this time but man, The Rhythm Thief, you will always be the realest one to me. This is what made me look forward to the whole album so much and convinced me that it would be like nothing else I've heard before. And that turned out to be so very beautifully true!

How Do I Get To Carnegie Hall?

I could listen to this one a hundred times in a row over and over and not get sick of it one bit. That's it, idk what else to add, beautiful and ethereal in every way

What Are All These Bands So Angry About?

Mostly I just want to direct everyone's attention to the bridge section, at the 2:26-2:52 time mark, which as far as I can say is the most heavenly piece of music ever made. Feeling like that Winnie The Pooh soul leaving his body gif each time I hear this

I Married Myself

Aromantic anthem, to me. Not that much to say actually but it's just, a very sweet and pretty song even when it might be taken as just this sort of ironic piece, I think it's this situation where a song can be taken more or less literally and it doesn't lose anything, rather the sincerity takes on a new sort of meaning? Because yes, maybe this hyperbolic situation (marrying yourself) COULD be the solution to the heartbreak of failed relationships. Ever thought about that??? Ok, stopping right here and leaving my I Married Myself analysis for another day

Ride 'Em Cowboy

My mind is blank on this one suddenly. But it's so good believe me. I love it a lot. It just has this LB spirit that makes it very addicting to listen to

My Baby's Taking Me Home

This was sort of the first Sparks song I've ever heard, or maybe that I quote-unquote purposefully listened to, and I think that's pretty important considering that it was the moment that ultimately lead to... all this. This song has always been incredibly beautiful and powerful to me, but lately it just makes me emotional to an extent that makes it hard to listen to most of the time. I WOULD sell all my material possessions for even one chance to experience this song live by the way

Your Call Is Very Important To Us. Please Hold

Earns soooo much as a live version, but even without that I think it's genius in the same way as The Rhythm Thief, and maybe the most disquieting piece here overall... If we ignore the next one maybe

Ugly Guys With Beautiful Girls

Sitting there hearing the intro of this song all like "huh, this is so chill and calm... too calm..." and then being hit with, well, everything that's going on in this song afterwards was truly THE MOMENT back in the day (and re: the predictability thing. idk though, it's not like, really an issue). Later on I decided that this sort of narrative nature of the song makes it have less replayability value than the rest (???) but I abandoned that opinion soon enough, thank god. I love it how long it took me to realize that this song and the ending of MBTMH are the only times when drums appear on this entire album (I mean no, I'm not very proud of that fact actually, as the self-proclaimed biggest LB fan in my area. And The Rhythm Thief literally saying "say goodbye to the beat"... come on man). So yes, sometimes less is more! I adore this song now it's such a treat I would gladly terrorize my neighbours with it

Suburban Homeboy

Ok, I'm sorry Suburban Homeboy fans but this is the only song here that I'm not a HUGE fan of. I still think it's brilliant and an incredibly fitting ending for the whole thing - the mood whiplash is amazing as this is the only "vaguely happy sounding" song on here, per my words from months back. And what's better than yelling WE ARE THE SUBURBAN HOMEBOYS! (I'm actually awaiting today's Sparks karaoke rating reveal very impatiently lol the reveal happened before I posted this and I'm very happy about it)

One more actually, a quick word on Wunderbar because it gave us two things that we might have not been able to do without: 1) this whole album actually (the fact that LB exists because of Wunderbar giving the Maels the idea to continue meddling with this style. Up there as one of my fav pieces of Sparks trivia) 2) anddddd the 21×21 performance of it of course

[atoriv-art]

asks :)

guess who let them pile up for months (meeeeeeee)

tysm!!! i share a similar view wrt his hair :) i think it's a very fun way to interpret it given he's one of (/the?) only characters to ever go through a change like that! especially given his snake transformations i think it's completely plausible that he found himself mirroring the guy too much and wanted to distance himself from that lol

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thank youuuu it's one of my favorite things to draw honestly :) especially with the uchihas where their eyes are such an integral part of their character design hehe

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:D the positive reception to them honestly makes me really happy given they're a relatively obscure pairing hahahaha thank you!

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thank you so muuuch 🥺 my biggest goal with my art is capturing like, emotional snapshots of the little guys i like and i'm glad it comes through!! :]

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it's a fair question! i might elaborate more someday but atm the basic premise is that it's likely it'd be like a pragmatic deal between them? sasuke needs a source of strength and obito is both very powerful and a sharingan user, and obito has reason to look out for sasuke because of itachi hovering over his shoulder + if he trains sasuke correctly he can have a powerful ally on his side... which is i think?? the reason why obito let sasuke hang out with him for so long in canon but it went nowhere looooool

i find orochimaru's integration and then sudden exit from the plot to be a little bit messy so i like to think of ways of streamlining the process and just having sasuke be with the "main" naruto antagonists from an earlier date :0c with the rest of the kids still being with him as i am very fond of both karin and suigetsu ahahaha

i also find the idea of sasuke being in closer proximity to itachi during the timeskip (while still distant ofc) to be fun, like him being akatsuki-adjacent while itachi is also there brings fun scenarios to think about! + the fact itachi really doesn't like obito, so there's an added layer of 👀 as he hates that obito is the one training him but he can't really do anything abt it without showing his hand lol

and, the rest of the akatsuki interacting with a bunch of kids on a "friendly" level is a funny concept lmao

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grouping these together since i assume it was the same person ^^

kks headcanons: hmm i'm actually not sure! i think a lot about kakashi but im blanking on specific headcanons i have :P

top 5s: without much thought to ordering them i'd sayyy

characters: obito, kakashi, itachi, sasuke, and gaara or neji depending on my mood

pairings: sasuneji, sasugaa, kakaobi, itadei and kisaobi or sasusui

what got you into naruto: mostly being really curious about kakashi 😅 he seemed like the type of character i really would like so we watched a few episodes "for fun" just to meet him and then. you know.

thoughts on kakagai: i love kakagai i think it's super cute :)

do you like sasuke x naruto: people keep asking me this KSDJSKJD i'm ambivalent about the pairing, i can see why people like it but it's not for me

would you ever draw naruto (the character): possibly! just no real guarantee since i tend to focus on a small group of characters is all

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🥺 thank you so much!!! sorry about the 25 minutes hahahaha

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thank you so much!! if it helps any i struggle a lot with traditional art hahaha :P

i haven't ever drawn the rest of team 7 atm, no! if i ever do i'll definitely post it as it seems a lot of people are curious about them hahahah

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😭 tysm!!!!

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:D! i'm a firm believer that sasuke is one of the most sun-adjacent characters i've ever seen but alas he is cursed to be misunderstood because he's an emo boy 😔

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:] i'm glad!!! he's very fun to draw hehehe

[driedupeyeballs]

OH MY GOD???? I already love them sm

I literally edited a new profile for them for this cuz the old one was outdated BUT YEAH IDK IF THIS WAS AN INVITE TO INFODUMP ABT MY JAMIAZU FANKID BUT IM USING IT AS ONE

Btw I can only wish to achieve your level of snake knowledge I thought my reptile hyperfixation went deep but yours is deeper I wanna know your ways

But that isn’t relavent YEAH HERES MY JAMIAZU FANKID HI TUMBLR *lets them out like you would a spider under a cup*

So I have a shit ton of Twst fankids btw! They kinda swim around in my brain but only a few ppl I know have gotten the info dumps lmao

Skye was the first one I made I think (actually it might’ve been Rico (florid) but eh oh well who’s counting)

But yes this is Skye Ashengrotto!

They’re my older Jamiazu kid, I do have two. The younger one is my octo boy Akram :) he’s funny I wanna pinch his cheeks but he’s not the point here

So Skye! It feels weird publically infodumping abt my OCs like wtf am I even supposed to put here

They’re a half mer, which do work a lil different than normal mers in my lore. Half mers can transform without a potion but it’s still a long and generally painful process, esp going from mer to human. I kind of switch between calling them a snake mer and a naga but there’s lore there- Nagas exist in my lore outside of sea snake mers, there are also fully terrestrial Nagas. So the terrestrial nagas wouldn’t be considered snake mers but the sea snake nagas would be a type of mer while also still being a naga ITS CONFUSING DONT ASK (actually do. Ask everything so I can roll more of my fankids out like marbles)

Skye was created by a spell, I haven’t quite worked the details out 😔 but Jamil is part gorgon in my lore which is why they have the hair snakes which isn’t a typical naga trait. And to elaborate on the hair snakes: they are alive, the one w the bigger stripes is Flora and the smaller stripes is Jett. Skye can communicate w them telepathically and their eyes glow which is kinda neat. They’re kind of Skye’s version of floatsam and jetsam (unless u count Rico (florid) and Lilac (treyjade) which is like their ver of the twins- IDK ITS COMPLICATED)

idk what else to put here so LETS THROW SOME FHARACTER DYNAMICS YEAH and also mentioning some of my other fankids! They all have profiles (except my Malleus kid I’m sorry Aihan I can’t think of a design for you) but I’m probably gonna save those for another post-

So jamiazu in my lore live in the Shaftlands in a beachfront place and also live pretty close to Treyjade, however Florid live in the Queendom. The octatrio and their spouses is a close group so they’re essentially a big family. My treyjade kids are Maren (older) and Lilac, then my Florid kids are Rico (older) and the twins Mary and Eliza.

Skye saw Lilac more as a kid cuz they lived so close together but also saw Rico a lot when flrd would visit or they’d go to visit them. Rico is an agent of chaos and Lilac is Skye’s 2nd in command so their dynamic on a surface level is pretty similar to the octatrio, but there’s still a lot of differences once u get into the meat of it. Tho Lilac and Rico are Skye’s best friends and basically like siblings to them.

Outside of jamiazu Skye is particularly close with Jade, they share a love of tea :) he’s their cool but also slightly unsettling uncle

THEN THERES SHENZI- Shenzi is my younger kaliruggie kid and I am not gonna get into her here bcuz she rlly needs her own post w all her trauma but good lord these two do not like each other. Shenzi’s really nice but she’s not quite as nice as Kalim so after about 5 months of trying and failing to befriend Skye in their freshman year she just gave up and now their relationship is nothing but hostile (which was not helped when Shenzi and lilac started dating)

Speaking of that tho- so my idikei kids :) Ember (named after the pokemon attack) is the older one and he’s basically that “Jock idia can’t hurt you he’s not real Jock idia:” thing as a person he has the Fire hair n shit but he plays basketball and is heavily extroverted but no one gives a shit abt Ember this is NOT ABT HIM this is abt his sister! Her name is Zelda because you know Idia would name his daughter Zelda- she got all of Idia’s social anxiety lmao. She’s extremely shy and there’s a total of like 4 people in the school she can actually talk to without melting into a small stain on the floor. She’s an Skye are both in board games club and sometime in early freshman year she falls on her ass and knocks over a bunch of stuff which Skye happens to witness and cue the most awkward interaction known to man bcuz Skye can’t talk to pretty girls and Zelda can’t talk to ANYONE but they end up walking to the mirror hall together afterwards which becomes a routine. Except they’re both awkward as fuck take like almost two fucking years to get together bcuz neither of them are gonna do anything abt it BUT THEYRE VERY CUTE!! I love them

Also my ashengrotto siblings are very wholesome I need to write some stuff w them- Akram is a little shit and he loves pissing Skye off but at the end of the day he admires them and Skye loves their brother a lot :)

Anyway good lord I’ve yapped too much okay OH YEAH Skye has a Russian blue cat named Mariana who they just fucking found on the side of the road and thought it was a mouse so for like 2 years Azul thought Skye was gonna eat the cat

OK HERES RHE ACTUAL PROFILE these aren’t as chaotic as the other ones all the other ones are more meme than profile ALSO RHEIR UNIQUE MAGIC DOESNR HAVE A NAME AT THE MOMENT IF ANHONE HAS AN IDEA FOR ONE PLS SHARE I HABE NO THOUGHTS

(If you recognize my art style from instagram no you don’t also THEY DO HABE EYES I JUST DONT DRAW THEM CUZ MY STYLES WEIRD)

But yeah I love them I hope they explode (affectionate)

[cloudbells]

some of your posts actually got me thinking about these questions! i'm very curious how people feel about this sort of stuff, since my own fandom opinions are relatively mild and it got me wondering how other people's experiences compare...

so how about #'s 2 (for stony), #9 and #27 (other than frostshield??😉)

Thank you for the ask (and for creating the game)! Lol, I'm glad me and my inability to keep an opinion to myself was a part of the inspo <3 And sorry for the long wait!!!

2) What's your biggest stony pet peeve?

BIGGEST? Oh man, I'm not sure...Teenification of Tony Stark. He's written so...infantile and emotionally weak (I love vulnerability, but my word choice of him being written as weak is my gripe) in many Stony fics. It genuinely gets on my last nerve. He's damn near 40 in AV1. And he only gets older. And sure, maybe there's some arrested development there, but he isn't a damn child. He knows this. And actually conducts himself well enough in canon (in a way that matches his issues) but it's the fanon portrayal I don't like.

WAIT...I think I have something that's popular for the ship itself. Not very fan of the lengths that misunderstandings go for Steve and Tony...Like, I understand they aren't great at communication, but sometimes it gets to the point where I'm like, "It's passed dense and shot straight into pure asshole territory". I know a lot of people write like this because of CACW, but hot take, I don't think CW was so much of a communication or misunderstandings problem. I'll elaborate on this in a separate post, maybe. But the way misunderstandings are drawn out with seemingly no reason gets on my nerves, but it really depends. I can love misunderstandings, but it can't be something that's contrived for drama's sake.

Oh! Another one is in AUs where Steve was still Captain America, and Tony is still Iron Man, and Howard was still lovesick after Steve died and Tony knew all about Steve as a child....and then the AU has Steve undercover or something and Tony doesn't recognize Steve's face. LOL. This sounds specific, but this exact set up has happened enough to where it bothers me. Like, it's kind of funny though, how annoyed I get over it lmao.

9) What's something that bugs you in fanfiction that you encounter often but isn't necessarily a dealbreaker for you as a reader?

I have a lot of not-dealbreakers. Primarily because if I were to strictly stick to my vision of every possible portrayal, I'd have like 3 fics to read. I'm picky in theory, not so much in practice because I'm also extremely greedy. I'll give one each for Stucky and Stony.

Stucky: That Steve crashed the Valkyrie because he was so sad about Bucky dying. I talk a little about how much I generally dislike this trope here. I think it's a huge disservice to this character, I will never take it seriously, and I will never write it. But, it's not a dealbreaker as long as it's not repeatedly more than....let's say 3 times in a fic. Looking back, I already gave this answer, so an additional one - Bucky being community dick and then getting upset that Steve doesn't realize that Bucky wants him and the tone of the fic also supporting that Bucky has a right to be mad lol. It's a weirdly common narrative point in a lot of fics and I just don't care for it. It's actually one of the reasons I tend to stay away from pre-CATFA fics. This trope also happens in Stony too, now that I'm thinking about it. What's up with that?

Stony: I (unsurprisingly) have a few to choose from, but I'll say - when it's written like Steve was horrifically out of line or the aggressor in AV1. It's super common (from throwaway lines to paragraphs about how Steve was an asshole) and there is a fine line that this has to walk for me not to dip. Usually, it's a couple of line about it, which I can ignore.

27) What's something that you think [insert fandom/pairing] doesn't have nearly enough of that you're starving for?

I have an embarrassing amount of rare pairs that I ship and I've been itching for a chance to let them out (/ = romantic or sexual, & = platonic).

Steve & Wanda. Oh my goodness, I am absolutely starving for more fics that show their growing bond from AOU to CACW. I would eat it up. Even in AUs, honestly. I said in another ask that I dislike kidfics, but guess what I'm outlining right now involving kid!Wanda...I just think there is something to explore there with Steve's care towards Wanda in canon. I feel like he understands her, to an extent, and anything he doesn't understand, he tries to sympathize with. He reaches out to her and that's so, so important to me. Because I adore Wanda. So much.

Rumlow/Steve. I want to clarify, not so much as a romance pairing (though I have read a couple like that), but more so as a one-sided creepfest on Rumlow's end. Something about him feeling an erotized violence/hatred towards Steve is so delicious to me. In my mind, it's not even love/hate - it's obsession. Maybe even coupled with a childhood admiration morphing into a disturbed/twisted fixation on Steve. I think this Rumlow likes to see Steve hurt. I also think he hates to be kept away from him. He's not deluded enough to think that Steve loves him back, he in fact, probably loves how much Steve hates him after the Hydra reveal. Yum.

Carol & Steve. Nothing much to say here, but I'm sure it's not too surprising. Captain Marvel is my 2nd most-watched MCU movie after CATFA. And I think their stories and journeys and experiences are so, so amazingly similar that I cannot resist the temptation of wanting them to be in every scene together. The squeal I let out when she first met Steve probably broke a few records.

Can I get a little more obscure? I have Steve-ships with characters who aren't in the MCU. Here's a speedrun, no elaboration:

Din Djarin (The Mandalorian)/Steve Rogers

Kushina (Naruto) & Steve Rogers

Sesshomaru (Inuyasha) /Steve Rogers

Ginko (Mushishi) & Steve Rogers

Epsilon (Pluto) & Steve Rogers

Kurenai/Steve/Asuma (Naruto).

Izaya Orihara (Durarara) & Steve....or Izaya/Steve...Izaya would hate him so much haha.

[stupendousfoxthing]

To your last anon, I always thought that hybe would have loved to monetize on tk's huge clout together if that didn't posit a risk( they are a corporation it's all about clout and money) i know people think differently as in them being shown together wouldn't have been risky but if they were the official company ship the ppl who like them as a couple would have been the triple than they are now, that means more people paying attention to them in that context, more ppl who wants to find something more, just like jikookers do, the difference? Jikookers won't find anything ever bc there's nothing to find, they are friends and bandmates, so them being the official company ship is as safe as it can be, tk's case is not the same.

Now it's funny bc the moment the tae//nnie bs started I told my friend that we probably could except a bit more of tk content coming from the company and I wasn't disappointed lmao, this is my view: thanks to that rouse Tae is seen by the world as a straight man who was/is (many locals dont even know about the break up news)in a relationship with a female idol and that also takes off legitimacy from the ppl who noticed stuff about him and his bandmate, it's just shippers delusions, even many ppl who suspected tk left the wagon after that.

So yeah I think hybe can afford to slightly show them more and monetize (and that also includes aiming to not lose much of the many different demographics that "consume" the BTS members during their absence and shippers are part of the this) that compared to before and still in a very controlled way, there is a bit of a risk mitigation with this companies' pushed rumor which is of course still not enough and hence the still controlled bc the risk is still present and as you said we have to take into account tk themselves, their priority is protecting what's important to them too, if you see the most content from the company we have seen of them together lately is just them being close (which they always were);and supporting each other, nothing super big or elaborated, not them putting on a show or being put on a show or anything, the only reason is noteworthy and has jikookers crying is bc years ago even that was something that wasn't shown (eg burn the stage etc).

I have a lot more opinions on the company's way of moving but I'm keeping it short 🫶

There are so many interesting layers to the way the company deals with Taekook, and to how the fandom perceives and feels about them. Where a lot of Taekookers think they've been too extreme in underselling or undermining their bond in official content, I don't think it's been quite as bad as most do. They still get featured quite a bit, I mean BV and In the Soop have shown us some classic Taekook moments. And they did start out capitalizing on that, the Bon Voyage cuddle was teased in promo images and then eventually included in bonus content. That moment making it into official content still blows my mind. I think it's a pretty intimate moment, I've gone over the clip so many times and believe there are kisses exchanged. It's wild. But 2016 is where the most noticeable shift happened. At the same time, I have also felt they do a little too much at times with the editing and it results in some weirdness, and that because heteronormativity covers for _a lot_ they could probably get away with showing more. That bias is so strong and engrained in everyone. But you make a great point about there being an added inherent risk for something that would need to be hidden, even if it's something most people would brush off. Like I've said before, I'm not a fan of the company for many reasons but if what they're doing is what they actually think is the best way of protecting them it's easily understandable. I appreciate you sharing your thoughts, sorry it took so long for me to get to answering this.

[sugarschnaps]

Leland HCs, because he died in Chapter Four

My heart has been broken by fanfiction countless times with Leland dying omg. (You know who you are) Anyways so I decided to write some Leland Golden boy McKinney HCs!!! They're mostly for my comfort and my inexplicable thoughts. Went from Leland hater to Leland brainrot real fast. Thank you, fanfiction authors! You're a gift to the planet <3 Not used to writing for characters that aren't my ocs, and these are purely my own comfort hcs, so hopefully you guys don't mind my little contribution to the fandom. I might post other hcs if people want? idk Side note: These are also kind of somewhere between "soft boyfriend" and "part time group dad" energy, interpret these how you want. :D

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He's not big on slushies originally. Probably not a big fan of cold things generally with a few exceptions of course, but he can't resist seeing you so excited to try the new flavour and wanting to drag him along. (At the time, probably blue raspberry. It came out in '74!) And of course, he'll go with you. You manage to persuade him to try it. He winds up enjoying them quite a lot. Blue raspberry is his favourite from then on, though you can never quite tell if it's the flavour that he likes or the fact that you introduced it to him.

He doesn't like hot custard. Can't explain that one, it's just a thought, honestly. But he'd rather die than eat hot custard, he just doesn't like it lmao

He absolutely has a thing for you wearing his shirts or if he has a jacket on, his jacket at the time. Especially when it's colder out, and he knows he can help you warm up. He protects his friends from literal cannibals in game, so why not from the elements too? And to build on this, I also HC he doesn't really like leather jackets because of his arms. They're always tight for his shoulders. But he still wears them sometimes for style points, you know what I'm saying? (When I say "a thing" here it means his heart is swelling and he can't stop smiling. Proud dad, maybe happy boyfriend, I dunno I'm just here for happy and alive boy Leland)

He gives the best hugs out of the whole group, for sure. He's always warm to the touch, even in winter, it's like he's literally got a built in heater or something. Plus, look at him. He is literally built for hugs. Wrestle hugs? Are those a thing? They are now I said so He'd definitely have anyone he cuddles with feel safe when he holds them. (He also prefers to be hugged around the waist than higher up his body.)

If you ever go out to watch a movie with him, you're absolutely leaving there laughing. Leland is a master of comedic timing and stupid comments. He'll find a way to spin any movie to be a comedy. Horror, Romance, anything. He'll make a terrible joke, and it'll be funny. Maybe less because of the actual comedic value, more in how he delivers his jokes, or how he ends up laughing halfway through them and ends up laughing also. His laugh is infectious.

Leland gives me dad joke energy. I will not elaborate.

He is literally just such a ray of sunshine. He's a bit dim-witted at times (it's ok bb me too <3) but he makes up for it in how pure he generally is. He's a good shoulder to cry on, especially while hugging him (literally speaking as well as emotional things- sorry, I'll shut up about his arms now). He might not be 100% certain how to comfort you most of the time, but he's trying his best.

One thing I can conform for an absolute certain is that he has the most banging record collection anybody has ever known. Man has brilliant taste in music. Queen, ABBA, that whole vibe is his favourite to listen to. He has a collection of vinyls he tells nobody about. You're probably the first to know, likely from him knowing the words to things like Killer Queen especially.

His favourite song, however, is definitely Hooked on a Feeling. It's just... I can't explain it. He'd dad dance to this, for sure. He's just a little silly goofy boy <3333

If you're the type of person that sees fluffy and/or soft hair and immediately wants to braid a bit of it, he will gladly let you do so. He'll probably have to lean down for it to be more comfortable for you. He doesn't care if you're a bit messy or not used to braiding hair properly, he'll happily keep it in for a day at least. He has the SOFTEST hair anybody has ever known, he's just a very fluffy boy and I love him.

In the winter, if you forget to bring gloves or whatnot, he'll hold your hands to warm them up. Referring back to the little portable heater energy thingy we've got going for him. Also, doesn't matter who you are his hands are always bigger than yours even if it's very slightly.

He gives me golden retriever energy he's so baby That's it that's the post, love y'all, thank you for coming to my Ted Talk <3

[futurequibblerjournalist]

Idk if youd be super into it but Id really like to hear about why you don't like wilhelm. :0 idkidk your thoughts on every1 are just so interesting to me n I like the thought you put in them idk

I can't get over how I'm like "I don't like this guy I made up evil thoughts about him in my head and not the fun kind" and now all my anons are like "wanna tell us about him???" vjnfjbngjb

I'll go into depth a little more because your asks is very nice but idk if I'll ever reveal the depths of why I hate this shitty little lad

So! Idk if I've just been on some weird sides of fandom but I generally see him portrayed as like,, some pseudo twink whose only purpose is comedic banter on the sidelines of other ships or being Edmund "daddy dom" Avery Junior's bitch (in case you can't tell from how I phrased that I don't like that portrayal of Avery either vjfnbjgnb) and I don't like that!! I also just,, do not fuck with the whole "oh no he wasn't a death eater because he wanted to he was forced into it he's actually innocent!!" and I've seen some of that with Wilhelm too.

I think this dude is just,, a genuinely shitty person. Getting the basics out of the way homeboy is a blood supremacist and a death eater. Not a great start when it comes to being a good person. I've already delved briefly into his relationship with Aurora here but I'll elaborate. I think he's an entitled shitbag (this entitlement is also what makes me think homeboy does not know that no means no and you can kinda let that brainwave take you wherever you want but really I will not elaborate more on this part (he's also got a particular taste in women that I've alluded to in my moodboards but once again I'm not gonna bring it up any more than that)). He thinks he's smarter than everyone else, that he can manipulate everyone into thinking he's someone better than who he really is (and he can) and the fact that he's aware enough of this to keep doing it so successfully is just,, he knows he's not a good person and still, he pretends to be one to get what he wants. Classic wolf in sheep's clothing!!! He's maintained a friendship for years simply because he thinks it's funny to laugh behind Aurora's back like what kind of person does that??

I can also provide a bit of context for my portrayal of Wilhelm I guess lol. I'm not the one who came up with the name Wilhelm for him obviously but since we canonically only know his last name someone had to. Wilhelm is of Germanic origin and thus I've decided that he's Austrian lol. Wilkes shares his last name with the main antagonist from I think it's Stephen King's Misery?? Don't quote me on that lmao. Anyway, the character's main trait in that book is that they're like,, relentlessly cruel so in my portrayal of Wilkes I definitely took inspiration from his namesake. He originally attended Durmstrang where he was close with Rowle and Dolohov (especially the latter) though he was expelled in his third year and due to connections he was able to attend Hogwarts instead where he was sorted into Slytherin. He spent his time at Durmstrang tormenting not only but probably, in particular, Igor Karkarov (who I think had an exchange year to Hogwarts in his seventh year where Wilhelm continued to bully him while playing completely innocent to anyone else)

I think Wilhelm is a fairly tall, muscular young man, with such a pale complexion and blonde hair that he looks like he never sees sunlight. He's got multi-coloured eyes, one light brown and the other blue, very fluffy hair (sheep's clothing) and a charming smile with prominent fangs (wolf) and exposed gums. He looks far too cunty for a man who's as homophobic as he is

I'm glad you enjoy my character rambles jvnfjbngjb I'd be more than happy to ramble about someone else lol

[lloydfrontera]

i can also see suho writing at least a few "what if the count and his wife never died and Javier kept his family" aus. Just for self-indulgent reasons lmao. Maybe even some "Lloyd still dies but everyone else lives" or "what if Javier's birth family (basically ocs) never died and he got to still go on adventures" lol.

oh. oh that's. that's kinda sad :(

but like if we ignore the massive self-projection and wish fulfillment going on, i think that would actually be a pretty popular genre of fic in the hypothetical "the knight of blood and iron" fandom (i'm just gonna write tkbi now btw i'm tired ajkshdk). like we know in the webcomic that when the author killed off sillurian people were really incensed because it seemed like javier was really Going Through It at that point. and we all know nothing makes fandom more motivated than feeling like their favorite characters are being mistreated aksjhdjksa

and while it's also said that part of the appeal of tkbi is that javier is a very sad and lonely protagonist i have to imagine there's at least a good part of the fandom who wishes to see him get some comfort to offset all the hurt he goes through. so i think there's probably a healthy and thriving fix-it and hurt/comfort community that dedicates itself to write some nice fluffy fics (while also inflicting all new kinds of pain upon him but shhhh it's all good it's normal nothing to see here-)

maybe suho would gravitate more towards the fix-it fics end of the spectrum, instead of the hurt/comfort ones. he'd write these very elaborate aus that explore "what if"s and "for a want of a nail" plots that vary in their degrees of fluffiness but that are almost always about avoiding the early tragedies in javier's life. (eg 'what if javier met count cremo when he was younger', 'what if javier had an imaginary elf friend as a child except it isn't imaginary', 'what if it had been the baroness that rescued javier as a child', 'what if lloyd hadn't been an useless drunk', etc etc)

his habitual readers are always amazed by how detailed his aus can get and how much world building he does and explores, they especially like the ripple effect all of his fics have, how the smallest actions can have many consequences down the line, even if they do think he focuses too much on the beginning of the book when he could explore the latter chapters more. he never does romance and always writes family and friendly relationships and only includes the romantic leads as friends too. but overall his fics are pretty popular within that side of the fandom.

some people do think he has a bit of dislike towards lloyd frontera's character, which showed especially in his 'lloyd frontera dies in the beginning of the book and everything is better because of it' fic but he's otherwise pretty good at hiding it so it's not too much of a flaw. plus, lloyd is a bit of human trash overall :/

his 'the baron and baroness never died and thank's to javier's heroics they were saved from debt' fic is his most popular work but the 'javier's bio family never died' one is a close second. his 'the family still lost the estate but no one died and they all went on adventures' isn't quite as popular but it has a steady following.

there's one that almost doesn't get attention but that everyone that does read it agrees is probably his best one and it's a one shot, 15k, character study, memories, flashbacks, major injuries, implied major character death, open/ambiguous ending, bittersweet ending fic, with a summary that just says "javier is tired. he wants to go home. he can hear them. everyone is waiting for him" and leaves everyone who reads it both in tears and also half wondering if they should ask the author if they need them to pay for a couple therapy sessions (please he needs them so badly)

dang it i got carried away again jkashdksa but yeah! i do love the idea of fanfic writer kim suho i think it's very funny. and also him being a fix it fic writer means he already got a little bit of practice before being isekai'd lmaooo

[anxiousanteaterr]

Neat headcanon about the Novakids deciding their own brand! I love hearing others headcanons for starbound. Also i hadn't thought about it but that probably is Noble's actual brand isnt it... I thought it was a pair of fancy Novakid sunglasses over his actual brand.

ITS FUNNY YOU SAY THAT bc i did have an additional headcanon that there's (typically metal) plates Novakid can hook onto their brands and its purely decorational. LOTS to consider with the reasonings for this.

I also am sitting on headcanons that, since Novakid lore states that they're so scattered across the universe and thus probably don't keep in touch (or even know about other Novakid), there MUST be civilizations of them out there where the brands they came up with are placed on other parts of the body. Like halos, horns, rings, bracelets, maybe even just thin strips of metal elaborately placed all over their bodies like 3D tattoos. They can't ALL convinently be on their face.

If they do, that implies that either they are born with the innate knowledge of how to make the brands (which would explain how they rapidly accelerate into metal-working ages but then stall out), or they just Happen to Always Come Up with This. (This is ofc going under the assumption that they arent born with the brands, which I go by lmao).

Looking back at their og concepts, Novakid also have cores, which most likely are located in their heads since their protokid forms are (presumably) the core + the brand. And since the brands help them keep their forms, they're probably always located on or around the head for the sake of being close to their core. BUT, Again, in the game itself, you can play as a brandless Novakid, which could obvs just mean "oh this one just didnt develop one. u know how nature goes".

BUT, I think its infinitely more fun to have the brands be a signature form of: "we as a society and an evolving people have found a way to make life easier for us + extend our lifespan." It adds SO MUCH MORE of a flexible, social aspect to them.

Going back to Noble, I'm actually bouncing back and forth on whether or not I think his brand is natural or not. Like, I absolutely think he WOULD get a coverplate bc he's just THAT married to his job, but I also get that vibe that this is him inside and out. He radiates an energetic sense of a purer form of justice, and I feel like he has just been like that ever since he was a wee bab. And maybe just clung to the Peacekeepers bc it was the nearest thing he could find that matched what he was after.

He rebuilt the Peacekeepers from literal scraps because he understood and abided to the underlying message of keeping people safe and knowing that even the smallest efforts to beat back all the fear and evil in this vast universe is still something, and its always worth the fight. Could go either way, but I'm leaning more toward that's just his actual brand.

[long-suffering-little-spoon]

Kathy & Stella Solve a Murder! 02/08/2023

I was fortunate enough to see Kathy & Stella Solve a Murder! at the Underbelly as part of Edinburgh Fringe. I love love love this show; it was charming and hilarious and engaging it and had some really creative and clever technical aspects that I think are worth noting!!

The Underbelly is a theatre underneath a big upside-down inflatable purple cow and somehow we got lost looking for it lmfao. The theatre itself is very cool. It's pretty compact and the stage is just the floor with tiered seating surrounding it; it's very immersive!!

I really don't want to spoil this show because it's actually amazing. Go see it if you can!! After Fringe it'll be in (I think) Manchester and Bristol and I can't recommend it enough. But the basic plot is two girls from Hull have a true crime podcast and then their favourite true crime author gets murdered. Mystery solving ensues!!

CHARACTERS: The titular characters have a great dynamic. Kathy and Stella have some really cute and fun songs and exchanges and the actors bounce off each other really well. Their arcs and conflict weren't anything groundbreaking but I'm a sucker for that cliché (I don't want to spoil it tho). Also they had a very elaborate handshake: instantly a win for me, it's one of my favourite tropes. The other actors also did great!!

COMEDY: This show is fking hilarious. There are many funny one-liners but there are two running gags I remember the most. I don't want to spoil either of them, but one revolves around one actor playing about four different characters across the show - it had me in tears by the end.

COSTUME DESIGN: I loved the costumes! Kathy and Stella's outfits both differed quite a bit from the ones in the posters but were both still cute. The secondary cast all had different coloured jumpsuits which they kept on throughout the whole show and then changed their accessories to indicate different characters. There were some particularly speedy quick changes which I thought were pretty impressive.

LIGHTING AND SET DESIGN: The lighting up on the back wall was various neon lights designed to look like the red strings of a corkboard!! Their default colour was red but they changed depending on the scene. Also there are various scenes and songs in which characters have phones and laptops and these props have LED lights in them that changed colour, so often the lighting was done by the actors themselves!! I thought it was very creative. The set design was also clever. The two pianos were hidden behind/built into the desks that Kathy and Stella had and I just thought it was neat.

MUSIC AND BAND: The songs were all very catchy and had some witty and funny lyrics. I liked how jazzy the pianos were :). There were two keyboards, a guitar and a drumkit and all the musicians did excellent. Also at one point Stella accidentally knocked over the guitarist's music stand during the opening number and had to stealthily fix it lmao.

STORY: It had plenty of twists and turns and I was on the edge of my seat. My sister didn't actually even see the final twist coming lol. It was an engaging mystery with some fun subplots and dramas sprinkled throughout.

Also all the choreography was fun but in particular I'd like to appreciate the wheely chair choreography. I love all choreo that incorporates wheely chairs I feel all musicals should do this more.

The merch was an absolute bargain. The shirt and the tote bag are really high quality but combined were less expensive than one program at Newsies.

Bronte Barbe was so so lovely and she said she thought my Katherine art was adorable. I hope she likes it. Meeting her was really special and I wish I told her how much of an inspiration she's been to me. I actually bumped into her and a few other cast members before the show started but they seemed in a rush so I didn't say anything lol. One of them gave me a big smile tho!!

I'd give Kathy & Stella Solve a Murder! a 9/10. It was INCREDIBLE and I could not stop smiling the entire duration of the show. I really hope it can get a wider tour or a transfer somewhere or something cos I'd love to see it again!!

I'm going back up to Edinburgh Fringe in a week or two to see my brother perform as part of Free Fringe (and I might get to see a non-binary ex-nun stand-up comedian), will give you more updates and reviews then!!

[chanstopher]

9 YEAR OLD DREAMY WAS IN LOVE WITH GRAYSON??? i actually almost choked on air reading that because when i was 8-10 i had a phat crush on robin/dick from young justice season 1; this is so funny skdjfhj i think there's been a variety of fandoms i've been in but the dc + marvel ones were the longest. i also loved littlest petshop, gen rex, ben 10 etc. but my iron man craze was literally the worst. can you believe that i had all 44 iron mans (the designs) memorized by name when i was 12? it's absolutely mindblowing thinking of that for me, i can barely remember my friends' names now djdjfkfj also hiii hope you are having a lovely day today ❣️ the flamin' hot cheeto look was a really fun one, if i'm being honest and yes! changbin looks so nice with light hair... my favourite binnie remains go-saeng era bin though, the ash blue/grey hair and slight mullet suited him a lot! i personally love natural hair on everyone but my preferred hair colour has always been a deep purple, like the one minho had a while back! whenever any of my biases get the grape hair is when i think they look the prettiest⏤my favourite gem is amethyst and that shade reminds me of the geode a lot, especially once it starts fading towards the pastels, it's like it's fading from the crystals to the chalcedony :D others i love are silver/lychee hair, blueberry hair, peach hair etc. hehe oh you're so cute :c i am more of a person whose love language is acts of service + gift giving so i often end up remembering the most absolutely trivial things concerning my friends, which has extended to my biases jfkjkgjd a few things i associate with them is: the stars (cliche but i once heard someone say to another person that their freckles were like specks of stardust & constellations in the night sky somewhere and that stuck with me for felix once i saw him after that!), guitars, berries, bandaids, skateboards, cooking/baking, cats, trace chain necklaces, sweaters, garlic (LOL) and little envelopes! soem of these are things i've seen them with and the others are like. this will sounds so weird but what i smell/taste/feel/picture when i think of them? it only happens with a few people though and the funniest thing is my ult isn't one of them KLDJDSJ but yeah jeongin is the one with which it does happen! what's your favourite food? and what is some fun activity you'd like to try out with chan if you had the chance to? - 🌨

hi my love! sorry im always so swamped during the weekends im like brain dead lmao

omg young justice was SO good the fact that it got cancelled was such a crushing part of my childhood, it was so perfect but just cause girls liked it they trashed it :( i fully support u memorizing all of iron mans suits, i always go into fandoms like that lmao if i really like something i was to be an encyclopedia of knowledge on it. i used to be that way about lord of the rings but a lot of that info has absolutely leaked out of my brain since i was a kid so now it just pops up randomly and im like how do i know this still???

purple is ALWAYS such a good color, its so sad to me that chris had purple hair for liek a week because its always SUCH a pretty color and i agree it was ESPECIALLY amazing on minho for maniac era, it really suited him! i do wish minho got to have more hairstyles, i feel like he either gets a coconut or coconut but you can see his forehead lol and i think he could pull off anything so i always wonder why they dont really do anything else most of the time.

omg i love remembering little insignificant facts about ppl, i always find that those are the things that make people feel so loved. the amount of times ive gotten something or mentioned something to my best friend that i know she likes it always surprises her cause she doesnt even remember telling me the fact, but im like its about you so it was important to me to remember. I also love gift giving for that reason, cause im not someone to do something super big or elaborate, but i'll get a couple tiny things that i know mean something to someone or that really remind me of them and it always feels nice, like im sharing a piece of how i see them with them.

my favorite food is easily tacos lol i love tacos so much that my best friend has a taco tattoo for me! and i like all kinds of tacos from the garbage taco bell ones to really good authentic street tacos, just something about them i find really comforting I don't know lol but yeah theyre definitely my favorite.

oh god this is massively cheesy but if i could literally do anything with chris it would to be to drive to the middle of nowhere and go stargazing. like just forget everything else and just tell each other stories about the constellations with nothing else around to bother us. i think that would be the most ideal thing to me.

[m1ckeyb3rry]

Uncle snuffy and cousin Lorenzo >>>> but YAY glad you’re enjoying writing we all know that means you’re cooking o7 Very curious to see your take on kiyora I bet it’ll mirror the next epinagi ch (which is kinda soon I think??)

No same I think it was just out in there for comedic effect…? Not to actually be taken like he was groping them because I mean he specializes in muscle growth and body strengthening…..like he kinda needs to know like the composition of their bodies and their builds so he can create a plan catered to their development…?? Like yeah if anything Reo and chigiri just looked shocked LMAO I sometimes find his personality a little overbearing (him holding a grudge against Isagi is funny but also ridiculous at the same time) but I’ve never taken that first moment of him assessing the boys in a creepy way….

Ok no because wait a Reo Isagi team up?? I even seen some of their little duo interactions but imagine them duoing in soccer plays lowk they would probably do so well?? I also kinda loved their little interactions give us more?? Where Reo isn’t hating Isagi ofc but NAGI HIORI TEAM UP I’m adding this to the manifestation list….i know their stage actors for the recent stage play posted pictures together in character of them gaming together LMAO I would love to see them as a duo both in a soccer setting and in gaming someday…would go hard fr…NAGI AND KAISER OR NOA LMAOO I think this all just proves that pairing nagi and Reo with other people really helps bring out some of their personalities and sides of them we don’t see when they’re together…

OOOO yes I think that’s a good estimate…not super star 20+ but definitely a few…I agree I can’t see him getting absolutely 0 LOL

Waittt I lowk did not think of all of these parallels between Rin and Nagi?? Shit your so right LMAO I esp love the lazy vs hardworking genius difference and their differing soccer motives…Nagi losing motivation after he beats Isagi but we see rin working his ass off to crush sae….Im laughing Rin aggressively roasting players and Nagi passive aggressively roasting players…I wanna see those interactions with Nagi and hiori and others if Rin ever de-emos LMAOO that lowk reminds me of Hiori being the only one to help him up after Shidou busted up his nose I always laugh because wdym Reo and Bachira are standing right next to him just watching

OOOOOOOH IM EXCITED also based off the info I gathered kiyora doesn’t seem as aggressive in some interactions as I’d originally thought! He definitely still is feisty but when he’s talking about his interests I guess or isn’t provoked it’s kinda cute LMAO either way Kiyora tidbits even if it doesn’t do much for the fic (I’m sure you’re probably spot on anyways LOL) It’s kinda sorta long so I’ll leave a separate ask for it (my formatting skills are also kinda shit so if something doesn’t make sense lmk)

ALL GOOD go touch that grass!! LMAO dw about needing to respond all that fast as long as you aren’t dying that’s all that matters o7 On busy days I’ll usually only check tumblr after I’m settled anyways too so I might also be slow sometimes

PAUSE NAGI KIJA??? Wait a minute….ive def seen that art but didn’t connect the dots you’re so right??? With all the yotd we’ve been talking about lately maybe we’ll manifest a reboot into existence

- Karasu anon

AHHHH i hope it’s good!! i’ll elaborate more on your ask w the kiyora notes but i think for the most part i got him pretty well?? he’s a little more aggressive/violent in my version but it’s also an au where it makes sense for him to be like that + the reader doesn’t rlly know him that well so i think (hope?? 😟) it’s okay 😰

HAHA no you’re so real he’s honestly very ridiculous to me but he also kinda serves cunt i just feel like he would be so funny to talk to plus i kinda love him and yukimiya as a duo…handsome tall muscular soccer player model adopting handsome tall muscular soccer player model is so 🤩 also the parallel of chris being obsessed w physical perfection vs yukimiya’s struggles w his body (specifically his eyes) like wow…idk crazy potential there for a really cool fic maybe that’ll be part of yuki’s chapter in the oaeu?? since i don’t really have any other ideas for him yet 🤔 we will see i suppose 😭 and agreed it just felt silly goofy random to me i didn’t even realize other people took it seriously 😰

NO BECAUSE AN ISAGI REO TEAM UP WOULD BE CRAZY GOOD isagi’s adaptability + reo’s ability to copy literally anyone would mesh soooo well together because no matter the situation reo can come up with some ability to get out of it and then isagi can adapt to whatever reo throws at him so it forces both of them to think on their feet (reo also has meta vision and he’s physically peak so he can def keep up w isagi unlike kurona in bm vs ubers) and react to what’s going on as it happens…plus i think reo being forced to get along w isagi on field would be mega development for him (they were so cute in the shibuya chapter when reo asks him and bachira if they want to do karaoke they def have bestie potential) honestly the more i think abt it the more i’m like MISSED OPPORTUNITY 😩 plus it would make nagi and isagi’s rivalry more unpredictable because now nagi has to figure out how to match the reosagi combo (and maybe that’s what awakens hiori?? like damn if THIS loser can put in effort then maybe i should too) and like a hiori nagi combo would also be sooo fun 😭 THE THOUGHT KAISER AND NAGI IS GENUINELY CRACKING ME UP kaiser’s like “you’re a baby chick 😒” thinking he rlly cooked w that one and nagi is just like “L + ratio + ugly ass haircut + blue washes you out + your mom” (the last one hits kaiser hard even though nagi doesn’t even mean it like that fr) meanwhile nagi w noel noa is just like “ok coach what do we do isagi is beating us” and noel noa is like “bruh idk figure it out” and then nagi just pulls off one of his insane unrealistic goals which draws a little 🙂 out of noel noa LMAOAOAO and you cannot tell me that chris prince wouldn’t LOVE isagi if he was his coach…like this kid is so dedicated to breaking down his body and becoming the best version of himself to play soccer that’s exactly chris’s brand!!

LMAOO reo sensed rin’s insanity very early on he was staying five feet away i have to respect it…no because rin and nagi give such mean girl energy like they would be that duo that constantly side eyes each other when other people are talking tbh 😭 hiori’s the only nice one between the three of them but then he goes all super sadist and somehow ends up worse?? because w rin and nagi at least you’re expecting it so it’s not that deep but when sweetheart hiori starts spitting insults at you it’s like damn what did i do 😰

HAHA my tumblr schedule is so awk and also if i’m trying to finish a fic i hold off on asks so i don’t get distracted hehe (i was working on the kiyora req hence the long wait time) but hoping to post that soon and then i’ll be back to my speedy self i think!!

NO BECAUSE IT’S UNCANNY HELLO??? i was like WTF…but in a good way 😜 like close enough welcome back kija whitedragon 🤩 no because karasu as hak nagi as kija reo as jaeha bachira as zeno hiori as shinah…walk w me here…LMAOAOAOA omg if there’s a yotd reboot that’s all i’ll post abt for literal weeks like i’ll actually pass away

[rosyspectraldoll]

Hi, I know nobody is watching or really caring, but I had to put this somewhere and I don't have the energy to be a chuunibyou about it right now... so yeah.

My name is Rose Euphemia P[redacted]. Or rather, my true name, since I never got the chance to be able to legally change it to this... I do wish I could though. Yes, my middle name is a Code Geass reference, and it's very, very, very important to me. My deadname, although legal, is irrelevant. And it's just a chuuni naming convention thing, because I am and was always a cis woman.

I'm not planning to be around much longer. But the chuuni-posts that I write do have some spiritual truth to them. What parts, I don't care to elaborate because I find them too personal to me to divulge... but I miss the past life I had within the stars of Cassiopeia. A lot. Whether you think I'm delusional before, during, or after my attempt to flatline myself on the worm moon is also irrelevant, I'll be doing it anyways. I just wanted to be able to live with my soulmate. He means everything to me, he's my only happiness. I worked my hardest to be able to bridge this long distance gap between us that we both are in so much pain about and have been in pain about for four years now, roughly... but the harder I tried and the more I struggled and persevered and fought my hardest, the more I realized that I did everything right and would have always still failed with all the cards stacked against me and my success to make any sort of secure living like they are in North America and have been for decades... even with me and my soulmate sharing half the bills each.

It would have been this way for anyone, but I also just couldn't handle the burnout that comes with being ASD diagnosed in this allistic hell-world and trying to find a job at all, then keep it when any entry level job was always going to chew me up and spit me out in a very unforgiving fashion.

I have dreams of owning my own business, but unfortunately, I'm a weeb whose dreams, ever since I was a child after having watched my gateway anime, Tengen Toppa Gurren Laggan, was to have an animation studio of my very own. Animation is startlingly expensive of a profession on the industry level, so starting an animation studio in this state of affairs in the world would be suicide without licensing connections or an established industry connection... You know, all those anime industry connections that exist locally in North America lmao. It's funny... My actual older brother introduced me to Gurren Lagann as a younger kid. A probably way too young for Gurren Lagann third grader introduced to Gurren Lagann and anime as a whole by my literal Big Bro. He's also kind of Kamina-esque irl, good with ideas, bad with commitment, but is a hype-man and wild older brother if nothing else. I should have been an amazing success story of beating all odds irl anime style in the name of my passion, and damn did I try. I researched everything I could about the industry, practiced animation, watched so much of my favorite shonen stuff because it was just my favorite type of anime, always was, learned how to direct something from a creative director's standpoint, and I did actually make connections in like, Sakuga Foundry on discord and on Twitter (@RosePalaceTTKE) if you really want to count my earnest efforts and persistence but barely even meager returns as anything worth noting. At least the guys in Sakuga Foundry would recognize my "GOOD MORNING MINNA-SAN!!!!!" greeting habit from a mile away, so I know somebody besides my love would mourn me. At least I was noticed, even while I failed.

I was born in the wrong time to pursue my dreams. I accept that now. But I also know that I can do one last ditch effort: rely on the fact that I very much know that I am not my body, just a soul in a body, and that I have the right to discard this mortal body whenever I wish. I'll be able to hold my soulmate for the rest of his mortal days as a ghost, and distance won't be a problem anymore since I won't be temporally locked anymore. I won't suffer failed dreams after I gave it my all and got nothing in return, not even any closer to co-owning that same anime studio with my soulmate and the love of my life. I call him Bby-kun as a nickname irl because I feel safe to be my cringe self around him. His arms are the safest place in the world, they're home to me. And a life without him at my side every morning... I can't see why that's worth living through.

I'm sorry I couldn't be your Simon, big bro. But if we're going with Gainax lineage references... I guess I'm about to be like David Martinez. That's something. I mean hey, extra points for failing to finally be able to save any money to pay for half bills with my soulmate and having "I Really Want To Stay At Your House" hit... WAY too deep for me. Especially since I could tell you so, SO much about the Gainax lineage, from the pre-history as Daicon Film to Gainax from their Wings of Honneamise era to their grand finale with Gurren Lagann all the way up to Studio Trigger, aka Neo Gainax... I looked up to that story of six nobody nerds making anime in their garage with the wrong tools for painting cels in the 80's eventually becoming titans of anime history, and I had the persistence to see it through if only the world were just a little bit kinder on me to provide me with a decent world where I had a chance of success if I just persisted on with my hard work like I was doing... if only, I guess. I'm picking the Worm Moon to do it because the Gurren Lagann movies are finally getting an English Dub after all this time and I wouldn't be caught dead without seeing that. After that, February has my Bby-kun's birthday in it and I want him to be as happy as possible, even from a distance. After that it's March, and picking a full moon to end things on is only poetic, I feel. I mean, you have that "Full Moon = Metaphor for Suicide" Gainax thing going back all the way to Neon Genesis ShitVangelion to current day with Cyberpunk:Edgerunners... At least I didn't pussy out of life before giving it everything I had. Well, whatever now. I'm glad I wrote this somewhere.

Most of my entries will be Chuunibyo until that final day, I might as well go out with style while looking cool and edgy about it, I guess.

To the dreams of those who have fallen and the hopes of those who will follow,

-R.E.P.