#so I literally have to drug myself to get through the day

[spaceysiamese]

Thinking about this quote recently

[absinthemindedly]

//

[jadeactuallysucks]

Idc what people say I loved seeing him a terrorist. He’s exactly how I would’ve imagined someone outside of his perspective seeing him

Also doing research on Azrael Angel of Death I can’t tell if he’s supposed to be a fallen Angel or just an Angel but I don’t know religion that well

More stuff I wanna say

With all of you chosen defenders out there saying it was dark who killed mitsi, nahhh we need A train Chosen, I’m calling him over during valentines. Ruin some relationships. Including yours. How is it not a surprise he kills people?He’s quite literally made to be a weapon with all the powers and violent tendencies.

And he was absolutely at fault for making dark a terrorist too no complaint about it. Very hedonistic ideology in which the two of them could do whatever they wanted. In which the world was their sandbox. Up to interpretation

Obviously I view chosen, especially my version of him, different than others. Some of you sickos are treating him nicely!!!!

Low-key mitsi didn’t need to be in the story at all. Just tweak a bit, and also the box would’ve been a lot more callous, instead of agent and victim hating chosen for killing their fridged gf, I would’ve loved the more controversial morals of victim hurting chosen for whatever justification he wanted to come up with. And like there’s too much of a pattern with killing off characters for the sake of plot. I think dark is a good exception cause he was a rabid dog and needed to be put down sorry dark lovers also not sorry cry

I liked that ambiguity, I know most people like stuff spelled out for them with backstories but I like mysteries cause that’s how fanart and fics can be made. Some stuff does need to be explained like how victim escaped and founded rocketcorp which I get.

Oh yeah agent 😛😛😛😛 smash smash smash I see why victim is on the bisexual dance floor he’s amazing. And I don’t need merc backstories, I can just guess he recruited work buddies or just buddies

First part and terrorism parts my favourite scenes, can’t wait for Ava 12 to make or break my interest haha. The box will forever remain my favourite episode the glaze is real

Oh my god victim getting tortured during the first scene. By far the best part (except chosen and dark) in the episode. Kicking and giggling seeing him get revived after being unsaved. I feel like it kinda one ups Chosen’s trauma so I definitely hope that stupid shit gets it worse than victim. Honestly this is the stuff I want left out. I want to imagine the pain he went through rather than see it. Cause even after that he still forgives his tormentor like a dog crawling back to its owner

Uhhh also I have a big complaint about women (sorry women) I don’t like the stereotypes. I don’t need to know they’re a women by the colour pink or long hair. But this is me screaming at a wall cause I watch the same thing kids watch and the main audience is children. I need more characters like blue. Where you can’t tell if they’re a girl or not and you don’t need to care cause they’ll be taking performance enhancing drugs either way

These were all made in the moment so yk agree to disagree. I can’t get myself to hate the episode like how other people manage to do. I guess it’s just cause I stuck around for a year to see this. And I’m sticking around 3 MORE SEASONS BABY

Also like this is a good day for multi fandom me. Al of the stuff I watch is getting new stuff. Like omg Ava, then walten files, then interloper and digital circus and prolly more but I can’t count as you can tell I can only count to four

[alwaysobsessed777]

FADE INTO YOU - C.C.

words: 1056

warnings: none

summary: you and Caitlin being in love and finally having time to show it because it's her off season

After the long (extremely long) basketball season, it was time for Caitlin’s off-season. I couldn’t be more excited. The thoughts of spending my days with her, rather than the limited time we had together before. Her either rushing off to practice or flying away for a game, I, staying home to finish my schooling while starting my job. I already flew out to Indiana when she got drafted to The Fever, but I couldn’t go everywhere with her. As much as I wanted too, I had to stay home and watch her games sometimes rather than be there for her. But now, it was the time of year where not too much was going on. She’d still practice, I still had work and school, but we were never really too far apart.

My alarm went off, seven in the morning, for work. I turned it off, just laying back in bed, looking at the ceiling. I didn’t want to go, I needed to go, but did I really? I looked over at my sleeping girlfriend. Her mouth slightly open as she breathed quietly. I smiled; she was adorable. I leaned over, placing a soft kiss on her head. I whispered, “I love you.”

I go to get up, sitting at the edge of the bed, when someone holds onto my arm pulling me back. I look back at her, sleep evident in her face, her wavy hair everywhere, and a dumb smile on her face; Caitlin didn’t say anything, just tugged at my arm softly.

“I gotta get up for work, Cait,” I say, almost whining at the thought. She shakes her head, I laugh. “Sadly, yes, I do.”

“No, call in. You work so hard, give yourself a day to rest, baby,” The pet name slipping through her lips. It’s been a while since I’ve heard it, I immediately broke. She became worried, her eyes looking suddenly awake, “Hey, what’s wrong?”

“We…we just haven’t been able to have time to ourselves recently. It’s just…I don’t know…”

She moves close to me, pulling me to lay on top of her, “No, no tell me what you’re feeling. I’m here to listen, I’m here to help.”

I nuzzle my head into her neck, feeling the warmth radiate off her body, “I know...it’s just…I’ve missed us.” I mess with the fingers of her hand that weren’t running through my hair.

“I did to, y/n, I’ve missed you so much,” She paused, taking my chin in her hand, moving me to look up at her, “Take today off, we’ll go have some fun. That sound good?”

I nod, a smile finding its way to my lips, “More than good.” I pull myself away from her, her pouting. I laugh, “I have call in, can’ t just not show up.”

“Okay,” She drug out the word, I chuckled.

“I’ll be quick, I promise,” And quick I was, I needed this. I told them that I needed a day because of mental health. It wasn’t completely wrong, I needed this day to improve my mental state, but also to just hang out with the person I loved most. “Okay, okay, I called!” I ran back to the bed, excited for today. Caitlin just laughed.

“Babe, I’ve never seen you so happy,” Her smile rested on her face, sweet and loving. She got out of the bed to walk up to me, her hands falling to my waist. My arms snaked around her neck, almost without a thought behind the action. I smiled up at her, hers beaming bright. “I love you.”

My breath hitched at the words; I’ve never been so smitten for someone in my life. I felt like my every waken moment needed to be spent with her, and the last year hasn’t been that. “I love you too,” I blushed, the words leaving my mouth with a shyness to it.

She leaned down, placing a small kiss to my lips. I melted into it, my hands going into her dark hair, my body pressing against hers. She separates our lips, making me pout. “Stop being cute,” She teased, “We’ll literally stay in the room all day if we don’t stop.”

“There’s nothing wrong with that,” I mumble, her snickering. “I mean, there is nothing wrong with that. Imagine all the stuff we could do in here…” I paused, reading Caitlin’s face, “You know, like watch movies, eat snacks, scroll on our phones.” Caitlin blushed; I laughed. “And what were you thinking, pretty girl?”

She blushed even more, “Stoppp,” She whined out causing me to laugh. I shrug.

“Stop what, hmm?”

“You know exactly what I was thinking…and stop calling me pretty girl,” She hid her face, her hands leaving my hips. I chuckle.

“But it’s the truth, I call a pretty girl ‘pretty girl’. That’s how it works,” I lower my hands to her waist, traveling slowly before stopping there. She looks through her fingers, a small smile on her lips.

“God, I’ve missed you.”

“Me too, Caitlin.”

We stood there, our bodies touching, just taking in the moment. I couldn’t have been happier. This seemed like the most intimate moment we’ve had in a while. Before Cait’s legendary senior year college season, we had nothing but these moments. Going on little road trips just to be in the car for hours, talking, singing. The waking up early in the morning so we could just watch the sunrise through the windows of our apartment in Iowa. Or the late-night drives to a secluded field to stargaze. We did it all, we did it together. Now, we were drifting apart, or it felt like it. This morning says otherwise. I’m still deeply in love with the woman holding me, and I can feel the reciprocation.

“Hey,” she said, slightly pulling away. I hummed in response. “You wanna go get something to eat?” I smiled, placing a soft kiss on her cheek before untangling us.

“Why don’t we try to make something,” I walk towards the door, “You know we do have a kitchen. Like, I don’t think you ever step foot in there.”

She laughs, “I do too!” She pauses, “I go in there to get bottles of water out of the fridge.”

I laugh, “Shut up, come on, cutie.”

She rolled her eyes, following me into the kitchen.

A/N: i'm sorry...this has to be the cutest thing i've written. Like...come on

[thatbitchery]

See how I waited Until I (almost, days away) turned 25 to get a man? Very mature. Very developed frontal lobe. See how I made him wait for one and half years while keeping my options open and going out with other potentials instead of locking in on the first person to give me and capture my attention? Very only the best. See how I'm dating my type and not just some man? Very I'm my own priority. See how I'm dating a 6'1 absolute unit of a man with great facial harmony, fit and a clean 10/10 instead of running with Donald Trump just because? Very #womeninmalefields of me. Very Feminist of me. Very I care about my (potential) children and don't want them bullied. See how I'm actually dating someone I consider better than me, not just by financial resources but by everything that matters to me? Very Hypergamous. Very natural. See how I'm seeing a self made orphaned Millionaire and not some Old Money idiot with a controlling mom and some random dumb rules and legacy to keep? Very future Oriented. See how I first made my bag and while not as big as his in comparison but big enough that his bag is NOT the main focus of my selection process? So Yes i took it into consideration but I didn't rely on it? Very Independent of me. Very modern woman. See how I'm dating someone almost twice my age that has already done the drugs and Victoria Secret models and marriage and kids thing and is tired of all that and just wants peace now instead of a 30 year old Andrew Tate fanboy that wants to prove he's the MAN by snorting cocaine off some rando's ass and being disrespectful? Very Mindful. Very Smart. Very brainy. See how I didn't have to dark feminine Shera7 manipulate some man into liking me treat dating like some big deal change myself to be something some man would want like he's the prize or some dumb isht? See how I'm primarily in my masculine and still got a man that managed to pass through my rabid radical feminist misandrist ideologies and be someone I like? Very me centered. Very This Is My Life And You're Just In It of me. See how I dragged him to an STD test and blood check before even mushing lips? Very I care about myself of me. See how I let him know what I want all the way from Day one instead of trying to get by? See how I don't center anything around him, not even the dating life that literally involves him? See how I'm dating a man I actually like and respect and care for? See how I'm dating a man that has proven he wants me in all the ways that matter to me? Very Classy. Very Thatbitch. Very That Girl of me.

[fiddleyoumust]

Let’s talk about queerness and High School Frenemy. There’s a large portion of BL fandom that refuses to engage with the show, and while that rubs me the wrong way, I do understand it. If you only wish to consume queer media, it’s easy to dismiss HSF since it is not explicitly queer. It’s also a show that on a surface level, looks like classic queerbaiting. And before I get a bunch of HSF fans in the tags or comments, I am a huge fan of this show. It is possibly the best thing I’ve watched all year. But on a surface level, it is doing the literal definition of queerbaiting even if I personally do not think it is. 

As a person who is OLD and came of age in the 90s, I do want to talk about this show from a queer perspective. I grew up in a time when queer characters were not abundant. If they did show up in media, it was newsworthy. These characters were always support characters and seldom had love interests or explored what it was like to be queer. None of them looked like me or made me feel seen or represented. Heteronormativity was the standard, as it is today, but back then, a queer kid seldom encountered anything that made them question that heteronormativity. 

HSF, and Shin and Saint specifically, resonate with me more than most queer media I’ve consumed, and I’ve consumed a lot. The intense, obsessive love that Shin and Saint have for each other under the guise of friendship IS my story. For me, it was a wild girl named Jennifer, who I was attached to the hip with from 6th grade until our early twenties. I loved her. I was obsessed with her. I was probably in love with her, but it never occurred to me until years after we’d stopped speaking that what I felt for her was more than friendship. The heteronormative brainworms are real, and they infected me until my late 20s when I suddenly had a revelation about myself. 

Hindsight is 20/20. Suddenly, my obsession with Charlize Theron in Two Days In The Valley, Helen Hunt in Twister (1996), and Kate Winslet in Titanic made so much sense. My relationship with Jennifer was also at the forefront of my mind. Ah, I thought. That’s what that was.

HSF is a show about friendship, a show about community, a show about the ways adults fail their children, a show about class and poverty. It is also a show about unrealized queerness. The director, Fon, told that story purposefully through music, lighting, and dialogue, she told a story about two boys who can’t live without each other, but don’t have the knowledge, the vocabulary, or the self-awareness to understand what they are to each other.

In every choice Fon made, she dangled queerness without explicitly naming it. I would call it queerbaiting in any other media,  but for me, she made one other choice that I believe is purposeful and elevates this show into the queer category for me. She completely stripped the show of heteronormativity. There are no couples. None. We never see Chatjen’s parents. Any parents we do see are single - Ken’s father, Shin’s mother, Saint’s father, Cable’s mother.

In any other media, the male and female homeroom teachers with clashing teaching styles would  be an enemies-to-lovers side plot. Here, they grow into supportive co-workers and friends who become better versions of themselves to help the children in their class. In any other media, there would be talk of crushes among the teenagers. Here, we see them grapple with the pressures of academia, abusive or absentee parents, bullying, drugs, and the hopelessness of poverty. In fact, the only mention of sexuality or romance at all comes from Eve, a girl who befriends Airy, a girl from their rival school, and confesses that she had a crush on her when she was younger. Nothing comes of this revelation, even though we see Airy become curious and seek out Eve’s company prior to this revelation, and we see how pleased Airy is about Eve’s confession. But this is a show about unrealized queerness and even Eve and Airy, two girls who understand what they are feeling for one another, still can’t bring themselves to name it.

The lack of heterosexuality creates a void that is filled by Shin and Saint’s relationship. It’s purposeful, and Director Fon uses other friendships in the show to highlight the ways Shin and Saint are not the same. Knot, Nate, and Ken are extremely close friends. They, too, have a “no one left behind” friendship pact. They fight for each other and get hurt for each other and very obviously love each other. Chatjen and Shin’s friendship is also very deep. Chatjen considers Shin his best friend. He hero worships him a bit and sees him as his protector and savior. Yet, anyone watching can understand the ways the producers use music, lighting, costuming, and dialogue to elevate Shin and Saint’s relationship above all the other ones. 

High School Frenemy is queer. Shin and Saint are purposefully queer coded in a world devoid of heterosexuality. You are seeing what you are supposed to see, and it's a hill I’ll die on. If you were on the fence about this show, I can not recommend it enough. It’s great and will leave you feeling warm and happy and loved. If you only consume explicitly queer media, I still encourage you to watch it. Sometimes, our queerness eludes us. Sometimes it’s hidden under other words like “friendship” because we haven’t learned the right words for it yet. I enjoyed watching a show that reminded me of my youth and gave me a glimpse of the girl I used to be. She was still queer even if she didn't know it yet.

[covetyou]

the dark caress of someone else

part 1 ⋆ part 2 ⋆ part 3 ⋆ part 4 ⋆ part 5

ao3 ⋆ main masterlist ⋆ series masterlist

pairing: Joel Miller x f!reader x Tess Servopoulos rating: Explicit (18+ only!) chapter warnings: dub con, threesome (mff), oral (f and m receiving), bi reader, unprotected P in V, creampie, praise kink, spit kink, derogatory names (slut), drug reference, unspecified age gap, one singular queef (I'm not sorry), one face slap (with a dick)word count: 6.2k chapter summary: After a little white lie, you go to pick up your dads medication, only to be met by an angry Joel and a (not so) surprise visitor.

A/N: Thank you so much for all the love for this silly little series. I appreciate your amazing comments so much, and I don't quite know what to do with myself.

Piggy in the middle is fuckin difficult man. But I guess life imitates art and sometimes there do just be too many holes, hands and other body parts to keep track of. Also pls excuse me but I'm, like, really bi. And Anna Torv's Tess has my whole entire pussy heart.

this part is dedicated to 'The Sweaty Javi' and 'The Hillbilly Duck Hunter' (courtesy of the wonderful @morallyinept). thank you for your services. (pls drink responsibly)

also a shout out to slasher!joel's big ol' balls (spawned by @toxicanonymity) they've been on my mind literally all week and you would not believe the ball content I had to cut from this. only a smidgen of balls remain, but the balls are there in spirit. thanks for the ballspo bb.

follow @covetedfics and turn notifications on for updates on future work

song: someone new by Hozier dividers: @saradika

Your dad shook as he threw back his last pill, swallowing dry before chasing it down with a sip of water. He'd been making weak comments about needing to get more all week and you'd always stopped him. You didn't want him to go. You wanted to go.

You both knew that the pushback was all for show, but now a little white lie meant the show was over, for him at least.

"Joel doesn't want you coming to get your pills yourself anymore," you'd told him. It was a barefaced lie, but felt better than telling him the truth. How, exactly, do you tell your dad you're whoring yourself to his drug dealer?

You were fairly certain your dad knew what kind of man Joel Miller was. A Nice Man to some, maybe, but his reputation preceded him. He was known for helping out people when they got into tricky spots. Not all the time, of course, but when you had something he took a fancying to, he'd be more than willing to come to an agreement. Maybe your dad already knew what you were doing for him, for you. Maybe he noticed you had more ration cards these days, a spring in your step. You wondered if he cared, if he'd ever try to stop you.

You make your way to the nicer part of the QZ again the next day. You have a free shift and, despite your dad's protests that you should go spend it with friends, you find yourself climbing chipped steps to an empty hallway once more.

You had left the last time with the slick of oil between your cheeks, down your legs, between your thighs. It had taken days to wash off completely. You didn't mind one bit - whenever you moved the slick of it reminding you of him buried in you to the hilt, fucking you half to death in a way you'd never imagined. Embarrassment, shame, you shouldn't like this, melding together and melting away as he pummelled into you from behind. You'd practically rubbed yourself raw thinking about it, but it was never quite enough.

Uncontrollable excitement thrums through you as you approach his door. And, well, you should have known.

Each time you turn up to Joel Miller's door thinking you know what to expect, and each time you're wrong. Wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong. It seems this time is no different.

You hear it before you even get to the door. Raised voices - a man shouting, a girl crying. You hear muffled snippets of the argument - "fuckin' daddy" here, "you're an asshole" there. You don't want to leave, but the sound of it makes you nervous. The unexpected usually hit when you were already trapped inside Joel's apartment, not when you were waiting in the corridor for the door to open.

You decide to turn and leave, you can come back later or another day, your dad can wait. You can wait. But then the door is opening and a topless brunette is rushing out into the hallway, nearly knocking into you in the process. Tears are streaming down her face as she shoves her arms into her t-shirt, hurrying away muttering "asshole" under her breath.

You watch as she leaves, turning your head back to the open door only when you see movement out the corner of your eye.

You'd never seen him like this. White fury burned behind his eyes as he came to slam the door in the girl's wake. He sees you and halts, fingers gripping the wood so tight you think it might splinter.

"Where's your daddy," he snarls at you.

"At home, in bed. He needs-"

"I know what he fuckin' needs. Get in."

He stalks away from the door, leaving it wide open for you to enter. You follow him in. You'd been trapped in here with him before, but it never felt like this. The fear you had before was because of the unknown, the new - he was a strange man in a strange place. Now he was a man you somewhat knew and trusted, yet in this moment you feared him. You were suddenly keenly aware that he could hurt you, really actually hurt you, if he wanted to.

A cupboard door clanks shut, making you jump, then his imposing figure is stomping back over to you. Grabbing your hand, he wretches it open, pushes a pill packet into your palm, and closes it into a fist around the plastic.

"You can see yourself out," he growls before walking away from you, leaving you standing there, confused.

You frown as you look between the pills he'd just given you and him. "But -"

"But fuckin' what," he yells, turning on you. "I gave you what you want, now go."

You're a fucking idiot, poking the already angry bear, but you step forward anyway. "That's not what I want."

He scoffs at you, hands on hips, shaking his head in disbelief. You felt small just because of the size of him usually, but now he was making you feel small in other ways.

"Use me."

"Use you? You want me to use you?"

You shrug your shoulders. "That's what this is, right? You give me what I want, and I give you what you want." He'd said it himself last time, and now here you were using his own words against him.

"And you think using you is what I want?"

You look him straight in the eye, balls bigger than the universe and say, "Yes."

Angry feet drag him to you, toes stopping barely an inch away from your own. He stares down at you, challenging you to look away, but you crane your neck and keep your eyes locked with his.

When he brings one massive hand gently to your neck, holding your gaze, you try not to flinch. Joel notices, fiery gaze briefly softening, he doesn't want you to be scared of him, and allows the cradle of his hand to push against your throat. You feel your pulse thunder beneath his palm just before the pressure releases.

"You got one last hole I ain't tried yet," he murmurs, dragging the rough pad of his thumb up your jaw and across the swell of your bottom lip. You fight not to kiss it, to take it into your mouth and show him how useful you can be.

The hand drags down your body, fingertips pulling at the neckline of your shirt, before he reaches its hem. You think he's going to put a hand up it, feel your bare skin underneath. Instead he bunches the fabric taught against your chest in one fist, yanking you even closer to him, his fist keeping you from falling flush against his torso.

"Take this off," his breath whispers across your face.

Grip loosening on your shirt, you try not to stumble back as you pull your shirt over your head, cheeks heating when you briefly get it caught on your chin. You weren't wearing a bra today, but if he notices he doesn't react.

Fingers tug at your belt loops. "And these."

You unbutton your pants, pulling them down your legs and off your body, taking your shoes with them. You try not to think about if the other girl was this dressed when Joel decided to kick her out.

Joel kicks your clothes away from you, you watch them skid across the floor, pill packet clattering along with them, before turning back, the fire in his eyes back and all softness forgotten.

"On your fuckin' knees."

You thud to your knees and look up at him. He takes a step back, as if he suddenly doesn't trust himself to be close to you. The thought of him actually hurting you crosses your mind again - you wonder if that'd turn you on the same as the other things he does, the things he does to hurt but make you feel good too. Maybe it would. Maybe if he really wanted to you'd let him.

His eyes rake down your body, taking in your bare tits, nipples hardened under the chill of the room, down the swell of your stomach, across the meat of your thighs and to the dampness forming on the front of your panties.

"Want me to use you, huh?" he says, nostrils flaring as his hands flex beside him.

Your eyes flick to his crotch. You'd only been this close to him in your fantasies, but you find you're salivating just as much as you do in your dreams, aching to run your hands across him and really, finally, feel him.

As if reading your mind, his hand caresses across the front of his pants. Where there had been nothing but the soft shape of him before was a growing tent as he hardened before you. "You want this?"

You nod.

He threads a hand through your hair, scratching at your scalp and cradling your head in his palm. He forces your head back further, until you're looking directly up at him.

"You're gonna have to ask nicely for it, sweetheart."

"Please can I have it," you beg, sounding as needy as you feel. You've never needed anything more than you need this. You know he can see it in your face, in the way you lick your lips as you take him in.

He yanks his pants down in an instant, cock bouncing from their confines. He grabs it in his fist, large hand stroking gently up his length to tug at his tip as he grows. It looks huge in his hand, but you know it'd look so much bigger in yours.

You look up at him wide eyed as you watch him stroke himself. A few strokes and he's solid already. For all you've done with him, for how you've had him inside you, you've never seen it this close. Never seen how veins ripple under skin, foreskin moves back with the movement of his hand to reveal his flushed tip, slit beckoning you to taste.

"Please can I have your co- "

The hard length of him collides harshly with the side of your face. Your lips part in a gasp. You stop yourself from chasing it and engulfing it with your mouth. He hasn't said you could, and you're not stepping a toe out of line. He needs you to be good.

"You really want it?" he teases.

You nod frantically. You must look dumb, like one of those nodding dog ornaments from years ago - glassy eyed and head bobbing at just about anything.

"Kiss it." You do, hesitantly placing a gentle kiss to one side of his tip, then the other, before placing an even softer kiss to his slit. There's a thrill knowing you'd never kissed any part of him before, knowing that the first time you'd pressed your lips to him it was to his cock. If anyone ever found out maybe you'd be embarrassed, but here, in this room, all you wanted was more.

Swallowing heavily and lifting his shaft, he pulls your head closer to him. "Kiss 'em. They wanna feel good too, sweetheart."

You place more soft kisses across the delicate skin of his balls, pushing down the temptation to taste him. Your eyes never leave his face, and his never leave yours. He looks so horny he could smash you through a fucking wall, and you don't think you'd mind if he did.

You keep kissing until he pulls your head back. He's started gently stroking himself again, getting himself off as he watched you worship his balls.

"You wanna taste?"

"I wanna taste," you swallow, sinking down as you spread your knees wide to stop the temptation of rubbing your thighs together, desperate for relief he hasn't said you can have.

"Show me how much you want it."

You snap your jaw open for him, eager to taste more than the swipe of cum he'd spread over your lips weeks ago, as he fists his cock gently over your face. He's teasing you with it still when a whine catches in your throat.

Another tug to your hair tilts your head back, but your eyes strain down to look at the bead of cum that's about to drip from the tip of him. He leans over you, cock in hand and your head held in the other. You watch as he spits down into your mouth, saliva cooling as it falls from his mouth to yours, landing cold on your waiting tongue.

"Good girl. So desperate for it. Keep it open." He moves his dripping tip to your mouth before you can react, swiping it across your tongue, mixing his precum with your, and his, saliva.

You hear it before he does - the sound of a key jingling and a lock turning. It startles you, fright springing across your face as he frowns down at you. You keep your mouth open as the door swings open behind you, exposing your naked body to the hallway and whoever has just entered.

"You home, old man?" a familiar voice you can't place calls out, before the very same voice lets out a low whistle when it catches sight of you.

The door is kicked shut, and there's a thud on the table. Joel is still brandishing his cock as he stares daggers over your head at the intruder. Your fucking mouth is open.

"You mind? I'm busy," he says, wiping the tip of his cock over your tongue again. You salivate at the salty taste of him and try to swallow.

Light footsteps head toward where you kneel on the floor before Joel, knees spread, head up, eyes darting between his face and his grip on his cock.

"Well then, hello there pretty girl." You remember that voice.

Finally letting your eyes flick to the side, you see her. Tess. She seems to recognize you at the same time as you do, a smile pulling across her face as your mouth falls slack in shock.

She'd been your fathers dealer before you were handed off one day to a new one. Your dad hadn't given details on why, but you had a feeling you knew. She'd helped you once too, when a few too many sick days had meant too few cards to get by. That had been your first time on your knees for someone at the promise of pills, and at the time you thought it would be your last.

Joel watches as she approaches and looks down at you on your knees. His hand hasn't left his cock, and he's tugging on himself as he watches, another bead of precum you desperately want to lick collecting at his head. He moves his hand from its place in your hair and starts stroking his heavy balls with it as he watches you.

"How's your daddy?" she pouts in mock empathy before addressing Joel, laughing.

"Gotta say, didn't expect this when I handed 'em off to you. Told you the daughter's mouth was good, didn't I?"

"I wouldn't know, I was only just about to find out," he grits out. His hands are still slowly working over himself as he talks to her. You watch as his eyes roam up and down her body, then flick to you down at his feet. Your body heats as you watch him ogle her - you think it may be jealousy until your own eyes trail the same path down her body before resting back on Joel. What difference is there between jealousy and desire, really.

"The first time you get to mess with one, and I get to witness it? Lucky me," she grins as she watches Joel thread a hand back through your hair, drawing your attention back to him completely.

"S'not the first time," he whispers as he pulls you forward, nodding at you to open your mouth once more.

"Then what the fuck have you been doing with her?"

Joel rolls his eyes at her, instead opting to feed the head of his cock into your mouth.

Your mouth engulfs his tip, warm and wet, he sucks in a breath closing his eyes, grip tightening in your hair. You let your tongue swirl around him, feeling the ridge of his head and tasting the bitter sweet salt of his cum on his skin. Your fingers curl into the rough fabric of his pants, anchoring you to him as you bob your head over his tip, circling your tongue over every inch of it.

"Oh fuck, that's right," he moans. "That taste good?"

He looks down as you nod, your moan of confirmation around his cock pulling another groan from his chest as his eyes fall closed again.

"Fuck yeah, it does."

Tess had all but gone from your mind until you hear the tap of shoes on the floor, and feel as she crouches beside you. A soft hand comes to your face, stroking the hollow of your cheek as you suck more of Joel's cock into your mouth.

You feel soft lips press a kiss to that very same hollow, the feeling of being kissed making you sigh. His eyes snap open, he'd been so lost in the feeling of your mouth on him that he hadn't noticed Tess's approach either. Now he was looking down at two women at his feet, eyes burning holes into yours where they fluttered in your head.

She begins nuzzling your hair, your neck, placing soft kisses across your bare skin. You keep your focus on Joel, staring at him with the same intensity he stares at you. Soft hands start to roam up and down your body, squeezing your chest, pinching your nipples, dragging short nails across your stomach, her every move making you shudder.

"Can't say I ever imagined a sweet little thing like you doing this," she whispers into your ear. You can hear the sickly sweet smile in her voice.

You moan into Joel's cock as she touches you, taking yet more of him into your mouth. You want to touch it, hold the heft of it in your hand, but you never have before. You don't know if you're allowed. You inch your hand up his pants to his crotch, stroking the exposed skin at the base of him with your fingertips. The hand in your hair twitches, and you hear a strangled moan from above you.

"Fuuck."

Another shift of your hand and your hand wraps around his thick base, fingertips unable to meet even if you squeezed. Holding him steady, you can finally angle him down so you can draw more of his cock into your mouth. You flick your tongue along his tip again as you swallow around him with a moan.

"That's it. Show me how much you can take."

At the instruction, Tess knocks his hand away from your hair, bringing both of her own to hold either side of your head. She fucks your mouth up and down his length, Joel moaning deep as his hand finds yours on his pants and grips your fingers tightly.

You'd been longing to feel his lips on yours so much that you'd never considered what his hand might feel like on yours. It's the opposite of electric - the heavy heat of his rough hand grounding you, finally, as you take him in in full clarity.

"Shit that's good," he sighs as you're dragged along him by Tess's hands.

"You hear that? He thinks you're doing a good job," Tess says from beside you, pushing your head down to take more of him with a kiss to your cheek.

You start to gag as she pushes you down - it had been so long since you'd done this, and Joel's size wasn't exactly forgiving to the less experienced - but you carry on, moaning again when the welcome distraction of Tess's body pushes against yours.

"Nothin' but a cocksucking slut, huh?" Joel murmurs down to you almost affectionately, moving a stray hair from across your face. Yes you want to say, but it comes out a garbled mess as Tess laughs at you once again.

With another firm push of your head, your mouth slips down and takes Joel even further to the back of your throat. You cough and splutter, trying to push yourself back using your hand against Joel's thick thighs, but Tess holds you down with his cock buried in your throat. Joel's hand grips yours tighter still.

"Don't," he snarls. "If I wanted her chokin' on it I'd fuck her face."

"Maybe I want her to choke on it," Tess counters from beside you with another laugh, but she relents anyway.

You pull back with a gasp and take a gulp of air before kissing the tip of his cock. You don't want to let go of it for a minute. You lick long stripes up his length, collecting the strings of saliva you'd left behind, before encasing him in your mouth once more. If you were anywhere else you'd maybe feel shame at your need for him, and your need to please him, but the heat of their eyes burning into you does nothing but light a fire between your legs.

Tess sees it, moving a hand down from bobbing your head on Joel's cock, down your bare torso and cupping your clothed pussy. Her slender fingers feel so much more delicate compared to Joel's thick calloused ones as they rub over you, your moans muffled by the fullness of the cock in your mouth.

"She's so wet, Joel," you hear her say through Joel's groan and the blood rushing in your ears.

Your hips start to rock into Tess's hand of their own accord, aching to find more friction and finally get some relief. She yanks your panties to the side, using one of her fingers to trace the seam of you before gently tickling your clit. If she could only feel how damp you were before, she could definitely feel the drip of slick from your cunt now.

Slender fingers plunge into you, fucking your desperate hole with force as you work your mouth over Joel's cock. You're left empty for half a second before her fingers are back in you, more this time, stretching you further so suddenly that your legs widen to accommodate the pull of fingers inside you.

"All four fingers, good girl," Tess coos.

"Four?" grunts Joel. Tess nods, laughing, and Joel throws his head back with a groan.

"I bet we could fit a whole hand up here," she says with another kiss to your cheek.

You were naive before to think she wouldn't, couldn't, hurt you the way you thought Joel could. You were wrong, you realized now, as her fingers plunged into you, stretching wide, words taunting in your ear as she forced your head back and forth over Joel's cock.

Her fingers leave your cunt entirely, leaving you empty and gaping. She pulls you off of Joel, replacing his cock in your mouth with her glistening fingers. You clean your own slick from them, moaning at the tang of your own pussy mixing with the flavor of Joel still on your tongue. His eyes never leave you and his hand never gives up its grip on yours.

"You like the taste of pussy, don't you?" Tess whispers in your ear, pushing you back onto Joel.

"Mhm."

"I think we can do something about that," she murmurs. "Can't we Joel." You both look up at him from your knees. He growls, nodding stiffly.

You're being hauled to your feet and pushed to the couch before you know what's going on. The blood rushes to your head and the room spins when you're pushed roughly over the arm, watching as Tess unbuttons her pants and pulls them down her legs.

She lounges back on the other arm of the sofa, spreading her legs and beckoning you to come between them. You ignore the ache in your knees from the hard wood of the floorboards as you crawl over, settling between her soft thighs and looking up at her with parted mouth. You would do anything right now, desperate for any relief from anyone.

Joel has followed behind, watching your ass sway as you crawled to her. Your panties are still skewed to the side, and you know he's looking at the mess of arousal between your legs. Tess may have been the one with her fingers buried in you, but you hope he knows he's just as responsible for your glistening cunt.

"C'mon," he growls, landing a swat to your ass. "Lemme see you eat that pussy."

You stare at Tess's bare cunt, feeling needy in ways you can't even explain, and move to lower your head, eager to taste her again.

She grabs you by the hair before your mouth can touch her.

"No teasing now. You remember what I told you?" You nod. You remembered every fucking part - exactly how she liked to come undone. Sometimes you imagined her doing the same to you.

She pulls your face down toward her cunt, and you stick out your tongue, hungry to taste her. You lick her gently at first, small licks across the swelling of her clit and her flushed lips. You lick further down, parting her folds to taste at her entrance - for all her laughing and teasing, her pussy was as much of a traitor as yours when exposed like this. She was dripping.

Joel's rough hands pull your ass toward him, dragging your panties down to your knees, hobbling you. The couch dips and creaks behind you as he brings a foot up to better line up with your hole. The wetness of his cock slides through your slick folds once, twice, then notches the tip at your entrance before he pushes in in one, sheathing himself completely in the heat of your body. You moan and gasp around Tess's clit, never stopping the movement of your tongue.

"Not sure she can handle it," she half chuckles, half moans.

"She can," grits out Joel. "S'taken worse." He slides out and punches all the way back in again, the feeling of his hips snapping against your ass so much less overwhelming when his cock was in your pussy and not your ass. You try desperately to keep up the movements of your mouth, wanting to feel Tess come undone at your hands, but blocking out Joel entirely is impossible with the distracting pound of his cock into you.

Tess grabs more of your hair, pulling it away from your neck and giving him a better view of you and her cunt.

"Fuck yeah, sweetheart," he groans now that he can see more clearly. "Lick that pussy."

"Been a while since you had multiple girls over, huh?" Tess taunts, throwing her head back before Joel can reply.

He nods, pulling your hips back into his as he thrusts forward. "Too fuckin' long." He groans again, meaty hands gripping your ass cheeks hard and pulling you apart at the seams as he pounds into you.

You slip a finger into her wet heat, curling it upwards as you feel inside of her. She's as slick as you, and you wonder if she's ever taken Joel as you have. The thought makes you moan again, just as Joel picks up the pace of his thrusts, slamming into you so hard your mouth jerks over Tess's cunt.

You try to steady yourself, fluttering your tongue flutters over Tess's clit, circling and suckling it into your mouth. You ignore the sensation building inside you as Joel's balls smack against your neglected clit each time he buries himself in you. It's too many feelings, too many sensations all at once.

Joel's hips stutter as he slams his cock into you, chasing his own release, already so close after you'd had him in your mouth for so long. Even closer from watching Tess tease you with her fingers buried in your needy cunt, watching your tongue lathe over hers.

You hear a strangled "Fuck" before he slams his hips forward again, slick cock slipping deep inside you as he floods your pussy with warm, wet cum. You moan into Tess's clit as you feel yourself heat from the inside out.

"Shit. Shit," he sighs from behind you. You want to turn to look at the fucked out look on his face. You nearly do.

"Don't stop, almost there," pants Tess, almost begging you with your face still buried in her wet heat, lapping at her clit with a finger curled inside her. "Pretty girl, almost there," she croons, stroking your hair and rocking into your face.

Gentle circles on her clit turn firmer, more rapid, and the hand in your hair grips you tighter as you pull her release from her. She grinds against your face, pussy throbbing as you lick her pulsing clit through her orgasm.

That same hand yanks you back a moment later, too sensitive to continue, before she relaxes back into the couch with a sigh.

"She's good, Joel," she breathes, a hand idly stroking your hair. You hear Joel grunt in agreement from behind you, his hands still holding onto your ass, and your cheeks heat with the praise.

He moves away, pulling his cock from where it had softened inside you, watching as a small trickle of cum escapes to drip down to your neglected clit.

"Looks like you earned your meds today," Tess laughs, patting your cheek, before standing to pull her pants back on without another word to you.

Still on your hands and knees on the couch, you watch her approach Joel, kissing him on the side of the mouth as he stares, breathing deeply, at your ass. His cum is still dribbling out of you. You flip to sit back on your ass, trying to stop its escape making too much of a mess on his furniture.

She whispers something into his ear, moves to the door, looks at you with a smirk one last time before opening it and leaving.

The door snaps shut, and she's gone.

As soon as the door closes he's on you again, pushing you back down into the couch with a growl. The air is knocked out of you as your back thuds down and he hoists your legs back, folding you in two.

Holding you down and open, the wetness of his mouth engulfs your pussy, slurping your clit into his mouth.

He's devouring you, eagerly eating all of his cum out your hole and cleaning you of his creamy spend.

You moan and twitch beneath him, having spent the last fuck knows how long with your mouth full but the desperate need in your pussy neglected. You'd hoped he could fuck an orgasm out of you, but as soon as the pressure of his cock in you had gotten good, the slap of his balls against your clit hard enough to send a thrill through you, he'd stuttered to a stop, leaving you with an aching pussy and nothing to show for it.

A strong arm pins you down, keeping your legs back, feet in the air. Two of his thick fingers thrust into you, before he pulls them out, licking them clean, then he plunges three straight back in, stretching you more than Tess's four ever had and making you whine, high pitched and needy, for more.

You're so close, so near to falling over the edge, but his desperate licks are too desperate, not focussed enough on your oversensitive pussy, too frantic. You feel like you've been edged for hours, but your clit has barely been touched until now. It's been left starving, aching for attention.

"Joel!" you ground out desperately, looking between your thrown back legs where he feasts on you. His eyes catch you, catch the desperation, the need, and he slows down, honing in on your clit, lapping in steady circles, fingers pumping deeply.

Your toes curl, tears come to your eyes and your bottom lip quivers. You nod at him. He's found it. Exactly what you need, the exact spot. He's relentless now, his tongue moving over, and over, and over as his eyes lock with yours.

"Ohhhnnnnng."

"That's it," you feel him mumble into your clit. "Good girl."

And you're cascading over the edge, into a pit of white heat, different but similar to the one in his eyes when you first saw him today. You shudder and jerk, his tongue flicking over your sensitive bud drawing wave after wave out of you as your pussy spasms around his fingers, gripping them tight and tethering you down as you writhe.

You twitch with oversensitivity and Joel finally stops, tongue leaving your clit, lips pressing firmly to your mound instead as he breathes you in. Your body heaves and you sink further into the couch, stomach muscles finally letting you unfurl from where you'd chased your orgasm so desperately.

"Fuck," he groans so close you can feel his lips move on your skin. All you can do is nod weakly in response. "You okay?" You nod again, not trusting your voice and still not entirely sure you're conscious.

His thick fingers pull from you, leaving you empty, and his hands gently guide your legs down to rest on the couch. Blood is still pounding through your ears, but you hear and feel it... the air that Joel's fingers had pumped into you chooses that moment to escape in one humiliating gust.

Your face drops with embarrassment, and you hear Joel laugh from between your legs.

"Sign of a job done good," he laughs, kissing down onto your pussy, tongue gently swiping along your sensitive clit again. You try to wiggle away, letting out another rumble, fucking fuck, and immediately still as Joel laughs more.

"You done?" he says into your cunt, spreading you slightly to look at your spent hole then to you. "I think she's good." He kisses your clit once more and sits back, stretching his back out on the sofa with his arms behind his head.

You both sit there in silence, recovering your breath and coming back down to earth. Your knees knock together as your legs relax. You close your eyes, breathing deeply, and let the chill of the room cool your sweaty body and the heat of embarrassment from your cheeks.

Much sooner than you'd like, you feel Joel start to move.

"I ain't mad at you, y'know," he says softly as he tucks his cock back into his pants. "Was never mad at you. Just mad."

You knew that already, but hearing him say it still made you feel better. It made you feel like you'd done the right thing, that you hadn't pulled him into something he didn't want. You were justified, you were right. He wanted, needed, to use you as much as you needed to be used.

"You should get goin'," he moves to stand as he speaks, walking away from the couch and from you.

"But -"

He shuts you up with a single look. You sit up wordlessly, casting your eyes down. He was right - what exactly would you even be staying for, really, other than because some part of you wanted to.

You dress in silence, panties still around your knees pulled up, clothes thrown on haphazardly, pills stuffed into an empty pocket. Joel doesn't watch this time, instead he rifles through the box left by Tess. You never see into it, but you watch his profile shift and change as he reacts to what she left for him.

You move closer to the table, making way to leave his apartment without another word, when he's closing the box and speaking.

"I've had a vasectomy," he says pointing to your now covered crotch. "So, y'know... should be fine."

"Oh." You hadn't even thought about it. You didn't even care. "You... you could've done that in my mouth too. I wouldn't have minded."

"Your mouth was occupied," he smirks with a shrug. "Besides, if I wanted to, I would've."

He gestures for you to leave, so you do, Joel following you to the door as you go. You open it yourself, just as Tess had, and walk out. You don't have time to finish saying thank you before the door is shut behind you, leaving you alone in the corridor yet again. You make your way home in silence.

You dream that night of soft lips on your cheek, softer hands roaming your body. The softness morphs and distorts, growing larger and more ragged. Rough hands drag along you, and the scruff of a beard scratches your face as a kiss too delicate to be real comes impossibly close to your mouth.

You wake in a sweat, heat pulsing through your veins and your cunt throbbing between your legs.

You'd come in your sleep to nothing but desperate thoughts of a kiss you'd never had.

next part

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[harleehazbinfics]

Home is where my heart is.

Chapter 5: Happy Hotel Table of Contents | Profile

Word Count: 2032

“—so ladies and gentlemen, I’m opening the first of his kind! A hotel that rehabilitates sinners!”

I give an amused hum looking at the TV then commenting, “Well, isn’t that something, hun?”

“Indeed so. How about we introduce ourselves later, sweetheart?” he mentions somewhat mysteriously holding the small of my back.

“Wow, look at you, perking up all of a sudden,” I said looking at him surprised, but he just raises an eyebrow at me, I shrugged and continued, “Well, you know. You just seem so disinterested in these matters concerning others, especially angels before.”

He laughs and replies, “Well, over the years of toppling overlords, angels seem to be the most troublesome bunch for now. Not to say I’d lose to those pesky flies from heaven.”

I nodded my head finding reason in his explanation. “That’s fair enough. Though, things have changed since you’ve been gone, Al. Even I’m attending those annoying meetings for you,” I complained.

“I apologize, my dear,” he coddled, “I know how fussy you get when you go for long without me.”

I gasped dramatically hand over my chest, “Me? Fussy? Should I mention that you would literally drag down a person that was just talking to me?”

“Oh, please. He was very clearly trying to hit on you, and you’re too nice to even turn them down, sweetheart,” he rebuts rolling his eyes.

“I could’ve handled it myself,” I harrumphed cheekily turning my cheek at him.

“Of course you would have, my darling,” he dismisses me playfully.

I scrunched my face at him which he only responded with a pinch on my nose playfully with a genuine smile on his face. I turn to face some demons who were charging at us, no doubt some of Mammon’s goons who accepted the job for some drugs, I sighed and waved my hand over their figures and watched as water appears and jets them off to the side. Tightening my hands into a fist encasing them in water to drown in, leaving them there.

“See. Very powerful,” I told my husband gesturing at the drowning fools that stopped releasing water bubbles from their mouth.

“Seems like you’ve also been busy for these 7 years apart,” he mentions.

“I’d rather not talk about it,” I glared off the side annoyed.

We appeared on the hill where this hotel that the princess of hell advertised earlier. My heart clenched when I hear her trying to call her mom wondering if Abby did as much when I disappeared so suddenly. She goes inside without noticing us.

Al, being the gentleman he was, knocked on the door first.

“Hel—” slam “—oh” slam

“Pff, you scared the poor thing,” I laughed at him crossing my arms. He pinches my cheek then turns back to the door.

“May I speak now?”

“You may,” she elongates crossing her arms trying to be authoritative making me chuckle at how cute she was.

“Alastor! Pleasure to be meeting you, sweetheart! Quite the pleasure. This is my wife, Miledy,” he introduced the both of us while he walks right in through the door, and continues rapidly, “Excuse our sudden visit but we saw your fiasco at the picture show, and I just couldn’t resist! What a performance! My I haven’t been that entertained since the stock market crash of 1929! Hahaha! So many orphans...”

I raise my eyebrow at him, then realizing he really doesn’t care much for other people’s well-beings if it was our family. I’m pretty sure he misses Abigail to this day.

“Hi, I’m Miledy. Aren’t you the cutest?” I cooed pinching her cheek dotingly. She awkwardly laughs at my actions and waits for me to pull away from which I did, seeing how polite the daughter of hell is. “Sorry about him.”

“Stop. Right. There!” a spear pointed at Alastor making both Charlie and I’s eyes widen at the aggression. “I know your game. I’m not gonna let you hurt anyone here! You pompous, cheesy, talk show shit-lord!”

He laughs drily and moves the spear away, “Dear, I wanted to hurt anyone here... I would have done so already.”

They back away frightened at Alastor’s intimidation the room changing, symbols and shadows flickering in the room while his eyes turned into their infamous stare.

“No! I’m here because I wanted to help!” he exclaimed.

“Say what now?” “Huh?”

“Help!”

I let him do his theatrics while I moved around looking at pictures framed on the wall finding many paintings of the Morningstar family, some probably with their close friends, and many posters of Lilith’s shows.

“So, who’s fish breath over here?”

“I beg your pardon?” I turned to the voice and met eyes with a pink spider sinner adapting a very... voluminous form.

“What’s the deal between you and smiles over there?” he asked jabbing his thumb at Al’s direction.

I just smiled at him and said nothing while the little lady asks, “Wait, you’ve never heard of them before? You’ve been here longer than me.” He shrugs making her continue, “The Radio Demon, The Siren? Two of the most powerful being’s hell has ever seen?”

“Eh, not big on politics,” he gives up slumping back on the couch where I sat next to him, much to his comfort.

“Hmm, I’d like to know how the masses see us,” I mused placing my chin on my hand curiously.

She bites back a groan and explains, “Decades ago, Alastor manifested in Hell, seemingly overnight. He began to topple Overlords who have been dominant for centuries. He and the Siren always worked together, always one without the other. She had the voice that only second to Lilith herself. That kind of raw power had never been harnessed by a mortal soul before. Then, he broadcast their carnage all throughout Hell just so everyone could witness their ability. Sinners started calling him "The Radio Demon" (as lazy as that is). Many have speculated what unimaginable force enabled him to rival our world's most ancient and destructive evils. But one thing's for sure: They’re an unpredictable source of danger, a wicked spirit of mystery, and a violent monster of chaos, the likes of which we can't risk getting involved with unless we want to end up erased!”

“Interesting,” I commented with a grin grazing my eyes over at Alastor.

“You done? He looks like a strawberry pimp,” he laughs looking back the pair.

She huffs then crosses her arms and answers, “Well, I don’t trust him!”

“To be fair, do you trust any man? Any men? Men?” he chides then laughing making the woman glare at her while I just stared at the both of them, my head resting on both my hands now finding their exchange fun.

I appeared beside Al as he waited for Charlie to decide, “Why are you suddenly invested in the princess?”

He shrugs and gives me a lazy grin and answers, “Well, it seems like fun.”

“Rightt,” I drawled out not asking him further, he may be like this in public, but I know he doesn’t do anything unless it favors him.

“Okay, so, Al. You're sketchy as fuck and you clearly see what I'm trying to do here as a joke.” She pauses, “But, I don't. I think everyone deserves a chance to prove they can be better. So, I'm taking your offer to help. On the condition that there be no... tricks or voodoo strings attached.”

“So, it's a deal, then?” he offers holding out his hand to take as the room glowed green and wind blowing past us.

“Nope! No shaking! No deals! I... hmm... As princess of Hell and heir to the throne, I, uh, hereby order that you help with this hotel. For as long as you desire,” she orders politely as Alastor fixes up his hair, “Sound fair?”

“Hmm...  Fair enough!” He hums as he inspects the room.

 “Smile, my dear! You know you're never fully dressed without one!” he teases Vaggie wiggling his finger under her chin to annoy her. “So where is your hotel staff?”

“Uh, well-.”

“Ohohoho, you're going to need more than that,” he remarks walking towards the pink spider,  “And what can you do, my effeminate fellow?”

“I can suck your dick!” he offers enthusiastically.

“HAH! No,” Al denies immediately while I gave the spider a harsh glare, a few of my water demons popping out of the ground menacingly making him whimper.

“You know what? I changed my mind!” he states awkwardly trying to save his skin.

“Well, this just won't do!” Al yells summoning his staff, “I suppose I can cash in a few favors to liven things up.”

He conjures up a nice fireplace and lifts up a black blob with a big eye, dropping it to the ground.

“Hi, I'm Niffty! It's nice to meet you! It's been a while since I've made new friends!” he introduces, “Why're you all women? Are there any men here?!  I'm sorry, that's rude. Oooh, man! This place is filthy! It really needs a lady's touch! Which is weird because you're all ladies, no offense.  Oh, my gosh! This is awful!  Nope! Nope! Nope! Nope! Nope!”

When Nifty walks past me I give her a pet on the head with a smile which she enjoyed, as Husker arrives along with a casino table.

“Ah, Husker, my good friend! Glad you could make it!”

“Don't you "Husker" me, you son of a bitch! I was about to win the whole damn pot!” he yells and facepalms when the money disappears.

“Good to see you too!” he replies clearly enjoying annoying Husk.

“What the hell do you want with me this time...?” he sighs defeated.

“My friend, I am doing some charity work, so I took it upon myself to volunteer your services! I hope that's okay!”

“Are you shittin' me?!”

“Hmm... No, I don't think so!”

“You thought it'd be some kind of big fucking riot just to pull me out of nowhere?! You think I'm some kind of fucking clown?!”

“Maybe!”

“I ain't doing no fucking charity job.”

“Well, I figured you would be the perfect face to man the front desk of this fine establishment!” he says summoning a bar, “With your charming smile and welcoming energy, this job was made for you! Don't worry my friend. I can make this more welcoming! ...If you wish.”

Husk stares at the bottle of cheap booze that Al summoned for him and exclaims, “What? You think you can buy me with a wink and some cheap booze?! ...Well, you can!”

Vaggie starts yelling while gesturing at the bar, “Hey, hey! Hey, hey, hey! No! No bar, no alcohol! This is supposed to be a place that discourages sin! Not some kind of mouth…brothel…man cave!”

Angel lunges at her effectively cutting her of and yells “SHUT UP! SHUT! UP! We are keeping this!”

“So, whaddaya think?” Al asks Charlie.

“This is amazing!” she answers happily rubbing her cheeks.

“It's... okay,” vaggie answers less enthusiastically while her arms crossed.

“Hahaha! This is going to be very entertaining!” Al pulls the three of us in and starts his little parody of the song Charlie sang that we listened to earlier.

“Hah! Well, well, well. Look who it is harboring the striped freak! We meet yet again, Alastor!” Sir Pentious greets valiantly making me smile.

Alastor only responds with, “Do I know you?”

He visibly deflates like a balloon and retaliates, “Oh, yes you do! And this time, I have the element of- SURPRISE! Ahaha! I'm so evil!”

With the power in Alastor’s hand he immediately shuts down Sir Pentious’ little parade. Summoning a portal of his black tendrils and smashing the blimp into bits. We watched as it was broken apart and him being thrashed around, making me feel bad for the poor guy.

“...Well, I'm starved! Who wants some Jambalaya? My mother once showed me a wonderful recipe for Jambalaya. In fact, it nearly killed her! Hahaha! You could say the kick was right out of Hell! Ohoho, I'm on a roll! Yes, sir! This is the start of some real changes down here! The game is set! Now... Stay tuned…”

[peanutpinet]

Hello!! I planned to check on your page in hopes to read some old/new fics and I was so glad I came across your recent one!! Thank you for that. I have a request for the mafia fics you make which are just *chef's kiss*

- Could you have Mark x female reader (same age, or the fem a bit younger) where they are both in a higher status who train the recruits and some of them disrespect the girl?

Please take your time- I know writing consistently can be hard (this is actually my second request and I can't wait for what more you have to bring!) Also I love that your fics are angsty but more fluffy which is what makes them great!!

Respect - Mafia! Mark Lee x Trainee! Fem Reader

A/N: hellow anon, I'm so sorry it took me eons to write this fic and am sorry if it didn't live up to your expectation but I hope you still find it enjoyable. I'm sorry to my fellow nctzens that I haven't been posting as well. Life happened and there's so much going around that has overwhelmed me but I'm slowly trying to work my way through the requests. I promise I'm trying to get your requests written!!

Also, your author went into the Love and Deepspace rabbit hole and well, you can probably guess who's my bias (cough*Sylus*cough). I had a thought of making a Jeno (Sylus) fic but we'll see if it'll come through the light of day but for now, I hope you enjoy my first-ever Mark fic on this blog.

Disclaimer: This is also part of the NCT mafia world/fic that I've created. The NCT members portrayed in this fic are not how they are irl. This is a work of FICTION!

Feedback is greatly appreciated!

Warnings: Mark being a mess, chaotic dreamies, mentions of drug, illegal drug selling, stuck-up annoying kid, no blood (for once in an NCT mafia fic), no torture (another surprise). NOT PROOFREAD!

ENJOY!!

“Hey Melk, don’t forget that you have to take charge of today’s recruits” Haechan shouted at what he likes to call, the ‘leader’ of dream

“You do know that I have a lot going around (literally irl as well, praying for Mark)?” Mark replied, as he was finishing some of the paperwork regarding the events from last weekend’s incident

“How’s Jisung holding up?” Mark asked whereas Haechan sighed seeing his hyung always taking care of his younger members rather than resting and taking care of his own health. “He’s doing fine. He actually got together with the girl which I’m not that surprised considering that he would always steal glances at her whenever he spotted her”

“Yo? Really? I never knew that he was close with the other recruits other than Eunji but I’m happy for him” Mark replied, still not looking away from the amount of paperwork

“Okay. That’s it” Haechan groaned and immediately yanked the paperwork away from Mark who was now yelling at him to give it back. “Lee Donghyuck!! Give it back, I swear if you rip it and make me redo the paperwork…”

“Relax, who said that I’m going to do that” Haechan scoffed right as the door to Mark’s office opened and revealed Jeno, Jaemin, and Renjun

“Yo Hyung, you looked really….” Jaemin was about to comment when Mark looked up to his younger members who stopped whatever comment they had and instead pitied their leader. “Really tired. Go take a break from all the paperwork, hyung. Just because you’re the leader of dream, doesn’t mean that you should shoulder all the burden on your own” Jaemin continued, taking pity of their leader and grabbed all the paperwork and folders that were scattered all over the desk

“Guys, I’m really fine. It’s not like I’ve never done this before” Mark tried to reason and his members took all the paperwork out of his reach

“Sure you have but we would prefer that you take care of your health for once. I’m going to let Doyoung and Taeyong-hyung that you need a break. When was the last time you had a proper break? Even Haechan got it” Renjun argued, taking his phone out and called Doyoung

Sighing, Mark leaned back on his chair whilst closing his eyes. “Guys, I promise you that I’m not overworking myself, it’s just that I honestly have no idea what to do even if I get the day off”

“Yea, I know, hyung. It’s getting out of hand. No, we need Taeyong-hyung. Okay, okay. Got it, hyung” Renjun got off the phone and Haechan asked if it was Doyoung-hyung. “Is it Doyoung-hyung? What did he say? Do I get the day off as well?”

Slapping Haechan, Renjun shook his head in annoyance. “Like hell you get the day off. You took a whole week off last month if you’ve forgotten about it. Taeyong-hyung is on his way”

Right as Renjun finished, they all heard a knock on the door and Jeno went to open the door to reveal Taeyong who looked like he just got back from a meeting with the fancy suit that he was wearing but his tie was slightly loose.

“Ehem, hyung, you might have gotten something around on your neck” Chenle teased as Taeyong wiped his neck to see a smear lip stain and brushed it off and went towards Mark

“Mark…” Taeyong called out to his younger member who was also a fellow leader

Looking up at his older hyung, Taeyong could see the dark circles that were under his eyes. Mark’s hair was clearly messy and his skin tone looked ashy. Sighing, Taeyong sat across Mark with his desk separating the two leaders. “Mark, you need to rest. I’m sorry I didn’t realise it sooner but I’ll ask the others to handle the paperwork that you were handling and you can have till the weekend off”

Widening his eyes, Mark shot up from his seat and placed his hands on the desk. “B-but Hyung, I swear I’m okay. Plus, I honestly don’t know what to do with my free time anyway. I just feel that just sleeping around would make me feel guilty. I swear I’ll take it easy”

“See, hyung. We think he completely lost it at this point” Haechan teased only to have Mark get up and smack the younger member

“Haechan, Mark” Taeyong mentioned and the two stopped bickering. “Mark, if you feel that you’re slacking off by taking a few days off then why don’t you help teach some classes? It’s been a while since you last taught a class because of your busy schedules”

“Right, there are some new recruits we’ve been eyeing to be part of the new sub-unit” Mark mentioned

Taeyong then slid the tab across the desk towards Mark who took it and looked through the schedules and recruits that they were training. He also had a look at who was the teaching assistant and his eye was caught on a girl. She was a year younger than him and was recruited around the same time as the 00 liners.

“(y/n)” Mark thought to himself

Of course, how could he have forgotten the girl who was impressive enough to be part of the same batch along with Jeno and Jaemin. She was so impressive that she managed to get to a rank just below the official NCT members. She was also the one that helped save Mark back during their early days as recruits when they had to spy on some influential conglomerate who was secretly corrupting their company’s money and was also cheating on their wife and kids.

“Hello?! Earth to Melk? Mork? Mek?” Haechan called out several times before Mark finally snaps back to reality

“H-huh? Sorry. It really has been a while since I’ve trained some recruits or even get into field exercises” Mark mentioned

Taeyong shook his head, chuckling as he got up from his seat. “Well, it’s a good time to get back into it, don’t you think?”

Taeyong patted Mark’s back as he headed towards the door and was about to leave but he stopped and turned to Mark and the dreamies. “By the way, Haechan, you’re not going to get any leaves for the next 4 months because you took a two whole weeks off in the past 2 months. Oh and Mark, be sure to look out for (y/n) and say hello to her for me”

As Taeyong left, the entire dream group went off with one conversation about how Haechan managed to sneak 2 weeks off and the other was teasing Mark about (y/n).

Time Skip to Training Month

The entire month, NCT would always conduct field lessons where the members would be divided into several groups, teach the new recruits of the actual field work then bring some of the new recruits at the end of the month with them for actual field work at where they can go hands on to what the members typically do while also learn where their strong skills are.

Mark was assigned to teach about spying and decoding some of the most basic conversation that could be a potential clue. Going into the class, the entire classroom seemed to still be wild yet he tried to get them to sit back down.

“Class? Yo guys?” Mark called out yet no one seemed to notice him which reminded him a lot of NCT Dream

Sighing, Mark was about to slam something to the desk when (y/n) and other teaching assistants came in, startling the entire classroom. “Attention everyone!” (y/n) shouted, the entire classroom sat down and Mark himself was slightly startled

One of the recruits even accidentally threw an object that was in their hand but Mark caught it right before it hit (y/n)’s face. “Alright, class. Welcome to this month’s field study about stealth and spying. I’ll be your main teacher, Mark. You can Mark me in your memory”

“Mr Mark, are you new here?” one of the recruits asked and Mark chuckled. “No, why?”

“Because it seems that you’re mistaken. Everyone here excels in the class and we’re only here for the action. So when are we going to go out for the real deal” the recruits joked around and (y/n) along with some of the higher ranks were about to stop them but Mark raised his hand, stopping them

“The real deal?” Mark chuckled, standing in front of the desk, putting both his arms on the desk behind him. “Alright then. If you want the real deal then tell me who the imposter is in this room. There’s someone in this room that’s not a recruit”

Immediately the entire classroom was a ruckus. Each of them questioned one another because while they were all recruits, they were all from different batches.

“Umm, sir, this can go on for the whole day if you don’t stop it” (y/n) mentioned as Mark turned to see the girl that he admired growing up to become a well-established woman in the group

“Hello? Mark?” (y/n) snapped her fingers in front of the NCT Dream’s leader’s face which snapped him back to reality. “Right, sorry”

Mark then walked away from the desk and headed to one of the groups that was having a heated conversation and pulled one of the “recruits’” jacket. “Haechan, I told you to stop sneaking in like this. Wait until I tell Taeyong about this”

Haechan who chuckly opened the hood of his hoodie just smiled at the tired Mark and waved at (y/n). “Hi (y/n). It’s been a while hasn’t it?” Haechan stated, skipping towards (y/n) who smiled but shook her head in disbelief. “Should’ve known that it was you, Haechan”

The entire class was in shock that another NCT member was in the room and no one recognised him at all. “Relax, I was just curious about the class you were teaching. Gosh, I knew Taeyong made sure that everyone out there didn’t know our identities but our own recruits not knowing who’s who?” Haechan chuckled, shaking his head as he walked towards the desk in front of the classroom. “Damn, either we’ve become desperate and recruited some unskillful people or they’re too spoiled and entitled to the point that they practically forgot what they’ve been taught, and well, from previous experience, it would be the latter”

Haechan was practically livid as he eyed the recruits. He knew some from training them a while back and he remembered a specific recruit that was so full of himself and one time even mistook his girlfriend for some silly new recruit and even nearly bullied her.

Haechan slowly walked toward one of the recruits, his gaze darkened and despite being around the same height as the recruit, he was still an NCT member. His aura screamed intimidating as if he had done so many bad things which sent the entire class silent. “Wouldn’t you say so, Nicholas?”

“Lee Haechan, I think that’s enough” Mark’s voice echoed through the classroom; it wasn’t a shout but rather a statement. The entire class could only watch two NCT members interact in silence. No one dared to talk to each other until Mark walked towards Haechan, his hand was on the younger member’s shoulder. “Haechan” Mark yanked the younger member and made him turn. “I said enough”

The two NCT members had a stare-off right as the bell rang. Sighing, Mark told the students to be prepared for the next lesson because he was going to bring them for a mini field assessment. “Alright, dismiss everyone”

One by one the students left the classroom along with some of the higher recruits and right as (y/n) was about to leave, Mark decided to ask her a favour. “Hey (y/n), I know that I might be asking a lot but would you mind sending me the entire background information of the students and an overview of what they’ve learned?”

“Sure thing. Anything else that you might need?” (y/n) asked, tilting her head which made Mark stutter a bit. “N-no, that’s all. Thanks (y/n). I appreciate it”

“No worries. I’ll umm, get going and get the things you need ready” (y/n) mentioned and left the classroom to just Mark and Haechan

“Haechan, what were you even trying to do with spying on the class? I didn’t even get to teach anything and…” Mark was starting to complain but Haechan’s serious tone cut him off. “Hyung. You should know that while I’m a prankster at times, I don’t really play around when it comes to work, and let me tell you, that kid, Nicholas, and his gang. There’s something not right about them. They thought my girlfriend was some new recruit and were about to bully her had Jeno not come and stop them”

Hearing Haechan be serious and explain this made Mark let out another long sigh and mess his hair up. “And? You kept an eye on them, right? What did you find, Haechan?”

Haechan looked down, clenching his hands into a fist. “Nothing out of the ordinary just yet but I’m warning you, Hyng. He’s not someone we should leave unwatched” Haechan mentioned as he left Mark in the classroom to think about what just happened.

Over the next course of 3 weeks, Mark has been teaching and training the recruits alongside the higher rankings like (y/n). Occasionally, some of the other members would come around and visit Mark’s lessons and even help teach some of the recruits as well.

By the end of the month, Taeyong had assigned fieldwork for each of the members and the class they were teaching. Mark announced to his class that they were assigned to handle some illegal drug-selling group that was in a college.

“Alright class. There’s a yearly sorority party going at a special location. It’s typically different every year, and the tracing class has already traced their location. Your job is to infiltrate the party and find whoever is selling and retrieving those drugs. Don’t get caught, watch each others’ back. We’ll be close by just in case anything goes wrong. You’ll be separated amongst different teams to infiltrate each party since there are several going around in the town they were assigned to.

Mark watched as the recruits were divided and (y/n) was assigned to be the main leader for the group that had Nicholas which even though throughout the past few weeks, Mark didn’t notice anything, he couldn’t help but feel something not sit right with him that he decided to talk with (y/n) right before her team headed out.

“Hey” Mark called out to (y/n) who turned and looked at Mark. “Oh, Mark, hi. What is it? Is there something wrong?” (y/n) asked

“N-no. Well, just wanted to make sure that you’re alright” Mark mentioned, scratching the back of his neck, making (y/n) chuckle. “I’m okay, Mark. Don’t worry about it. It’s not like they’re in kindergarten where they need to be constantly watched” (y/n) mentioned, making Mark laugh as well

“I know, I know. But you know, they’re still kids. They haven’t gone to the field like we have. This is a good opportunity for them to be exposed and for us to see how serious they are. Also to see who is easily manipulated or not” Mark mentioned, making the hair on the back of (y/n)’s neck stand up

“I, I know, Mark. I know what you mean. Since the incident with Eunji against of the entitled group, it has been part of the program where before their supposed ‘graduation’, they would be sent to the field to deal with real-life problems” (y/n) replied and Mark knew the incident she was talking about

“I know that incident too. Just, be careful alright? If anything happens, just call us” Mark mentioned as (y/n) nodded and left along with the rest of the group for the recruits’ annual field mission

Mark’s POV

It was a little past 1 am and almost 6 hours since the group left yet there really hadn’t been any major updates regarding the issue and I’m starting to grow worry. “Yo Hyung, are you working overtime again?” I heard Renjun mention, coming into my office

“Not exactly overtime if I’m waiting until the class has all come back” I mentioned as Renjun shook his head whereas the rest of the dreamies came into my office

“Are you sure you’re just waiting for the class or waiting for (y/n)?” Haechan teased which made me throw the nearest object towards him

“There’s nothing wrong with being worried about a fellow comrade. It’s quite normal. Especially if you have a crush on the person” Jeno followed along with the teasing

The members kept me company for a while until Haechan received a notification from his laptop that the final team, the one (y/n) is supervising was finally done with their task and were heading their way back to the headquarters.

The dreamies and I went towards our HQ’s vehicle building. By the time we arrived, the cars that (y/n) and her team used were already back but instead of hearing some encouraging words or complains about coming back late or something, we heard some arguments between several people.

Your POV

“You seriously going to report us about what we did? I mean we’ve been training at this place for who knows how damn long it has been since we were all brought here. We’re always monitored whenever we leave the base and the one time we get to go out and explore without being monitored, of course, you had to be the responsible one and ruined it” Nicholas complained

Scoffing, I crossed my arms and looked at Nicholas with a sharp gaze, no one else dared to speak up. “Ruined it?! You were the one acting like a brat. It’s as if this place is a prison and you can’t get any social interaction at all. More like, you can’t pull anyone in here so you decided to try and drug that girl at the party”

Nicholas was about to bark back at me but we were all shocked at the next few words that echoed through the place and heavy boots getting closer.

“You tried to do what?!” we heard Mark shout and as I turned around, I saw Mark along with the other Dream members making their way towards us

Instinctively, I lightly bowed at them and explained what happened. “We found who was selling the drugs and traced them back to an old man who was working together with one of the kids. Of course, we’ve handled the situation. We confiscated the drugs and the kids who were selling them then…” before I continued, Mark stopped me and made his way towards Nicholas

“We know what happened (y/n). You gave us constant updates and we already know who was the one actually selling the drugs and all” Haechan explained

“But not about someone, amongst our soon-to-be fresh grads wanting to use those drugs for…” Jeno mentioned but Mark continued. “Personal reasons”

Everyone was silent, I didn’t even dare to say anything. Dream are considered to be the more laid-back group but when it comes to their job, they don’t play around. Especially when it involves illegal things and their reputation being at stake. Yet, this is the first time I’ve seen Mark actually be this intimidating as the leader of NCT Dream.

“Explain yourself” Mark stated, his eyes filled with annoyance was bored into Nicholas’ scared ones. “Or would you like to be intimidated by DoJaeJung?”

Dojaejung, another sub-unit of NCT with Doyoung, Jaehyun, and Jungwoo. Though these 3 older NCT members seemed chill, Jungwoo is able to make you rat yourself, twisting your own words. Doyoung’s judging eyes and sharp words are also able to make you cower in fear. Finally, Jaehyun. He might seem the quietest and the one who could care less about anything. But if it involves his members, something that is against the foundation that he along with NCT built, it’s safe to say that you’re better off digging your own grave before facing him.

“N-no Mark, it was just…” Nicholas stuttered. “That’s sir to you. You don’t get to call me by my first name. Not at this very moment”

“Y-yes sir. I was saying that we never meant to harm anyone. We also didn’t harm anyone. We were curious and well we’ve been here practically for a long time and we just wanted to have fun had she not act like such an entitled person and…”

Without a warning, Mark punched Nicholas to the ground, causing me to gasp and cover my mouth Haechan chuckled then both Jeno and Jaemin each grabbed Nicholas’ arm, forcing him to look up at Mark. “You don’t get to say that about her. She’s doing her job. If she hadn’t been there to stop you. Graduating from here should be the least of your worries at this point. Once the whole of NCT finds out what you and some of you tried to pull out there which let me tell you from experience” Mark chuckled, his gaze was sharp

“Taeyong always knows everything. If you think you can think ahead and try to cover up whatever evidence you have. Taeyong will already have backups on backups. Evidence after evidence. Witnesses ready. If I were you, I’d start practicing begging to be spared. Now go back to your dorms. We’ll talk more about your stunt and give you a proper teaching of respect”

A/N: thank you once again for requesting this fic, anon and I hope you and everyone enjoyed reading this fic! Also if anyone also plays love and deepspace, hit me up :3

[mallardducksaysquack]

Aaaaaaaand the multifandom captor poll results are in!!!

Let’s analyse them one by one before we head out to our designated basements ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

(obviously, major spoilers for Slow Damage, Sweet Pool, Togainu no Chi, Boyfriend to Death and Manakashi no Yuri wa Akaku Somaru as well as descriptions of extreme violence)

(if you are a minor and somehow came across this post, please do NOT proceed)

I recalculated the percentages after excluding the “see answers” votes. Enjoy the MS Excel conditional formatting I had learnt for all the jobs I didn’t get.

Here's the sorted ranking with recalculated percentages:

Let’s now go through the ranking from last to first place.

8. Yuuko (Manakashi no Yuri wa Akaku Somaru) - 0% (0 votes)

No one voted for Yuuko. Very good. FUCK YUUKO.

The snuff-to-necrophilia skullfucking scene might as well have been the vilest shit I have ever seen in my life. I literally had to look away from the screen while censoring this screenshot.

6/7. (tie) - Masami Toono (Slow Damage), Manami Kanzaki (Manakashi no Yuri wa Akaku Somaru) - 2.6% (3 votes)

While I didn’t end up voting for Toono, I actually seriously considered choosing him (alongside Madarame and Taku).

To the three people who did vote for him – you got the ugliest waifu. But hey! You now live in a villa! All of your orifices are safe! Congrats!

Barely anyone has played Manakashi, so I'm positively surprised to see that a couple of Manami enjoyers have showed up.

She might seem very sadistic, but in fact she’s just a pure maiden who will do anything and everything in the name of love. And no matter whether you’ll get choked to death or let her amputate all your limbs with an electric saw, you’ll always have the pleasure to marry her in the end, or at least have her start planning your wedding. Long live the bride and bride!

4/5. (tie) - Strade (Boyfriend to Death), Zenya Okinaga (Sweet Pool) - 8.6% (10 votes)

Looks like the Strade voters want the hammer AND the drill.

I couldn’t understand why anyone would vote for him considering such a low chance of survival until I saw @pesikoshka reblog the poll with a tag saying “strade because he would kill me fast lmao”. Seems like the fast imminent death was in fact an effective selling point!

Genuinely trying to figure out whether the ten of you are such hardcore Zenya simps or just haven’t played the other games. Getting fucked and forced to give birth in a basement until the end of my life does not seem very appealing to me, but I mean, you do you, I guess? ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

3. Kei Madarame (Slow Damage) - 14.7% (17 votes)

My personal choice – at least at the time of voting. Sure, he’ll beat the shit out of me, but at least he’ll also grant me relative freedom? I swear I did not vote for Madarame just because I’m so horny for him. This is not a waifu contest. I just like the idea of not spending the rest of my life in a basement.

@mahnati I saw your tags

and let me just say… “as it should have been”. But the nation has spoken, and we have to accept the verdict.

2. Shiki (Togainu no Chi) - 19% (20 votes)

Voting for him has never once crossed my mind. I think I must have been blinded by the fact that I don’t like him. I played TnC about 13 years ago, so my memory is very fuzzy, but I guess you were right about him being a relatively safe option?

1. Taku Murase (Slow Damage) - 44% (51 votes)

What a landslide victory! While I did not end up voting for Taku myself, I truly approve of your choice. After all, he is the literal only character on this list who doesn’t want to hurt you. He’s keeping you imprisoned for your own good. It’s just his lil silly way to protect you ;> It’s time for you to become a guinea pig for his drug research. Enjoy spending the rest of your days in Taku's basement, making sweet love while picking at each other's skin, so that the hallucinatory bugs crawling underneath it can emerge as beautiful butterflies.

That's all for today. Assembly dissolved.

Now go to your basement.

See you never ~ヾ(＾∇＾)

(unless you've voted for Madarame or Shiki - in this case we might bump into each other while roaming around some dilapidated squats and maybe pick a fight)

[thirdsaltyhunter]

Crawl Home to Her

Dean Winchester x Reader

Summary: Dean thinks back on the times he died but found his way home to kiss you

Warning: mentions of death and dying, drinking, talk of alcoholism, cursing, kissing, angst, Dean self hate, takes place in season 10 so spoilers.

A/N: This is inspired by Work Song by Hozier and written in Dean's POV with lyrics acting as Dean's thoughts, lyrics in italics. NOT PROOFREAD ALL MISTAKES ARE MY OWN

Dean's POV

I don't want to get out of bed. I couldn't have woken up more than three minutes ago, but I'm so tired. Though that's been a pretty consistent occurrence for most of my life. I'd have a hard time remembering the last time I woke up feeling rested, and to make it worse, these past few months- few years, have been grueling. Hell, in the past few months I inherited the Mark of Cain, died and came back as a demon; I don't know how much more I can take. I want this to be over, but it's not, it's never over. The Mark still on my arm is a reminder of that. I'm glad I have Y/N, I don't think I could go through all of this alone. She's still with me even after everything. She makes it all worth it.

Boys workin' on empty

Is that the kinda way to face the burning heat?

I just think about my baby

I'm so full of love I could barely eat

There's nothing sweeter than my baby

As if she could hear me thinking about her she emerged through our bedroom door with a smile that always seems to melt away my worries and two mugs of coffee in hand. That explains why she wasn't lying next to me when I woke up. I release the breath I've been unconsciously holding since waking to find her not beside me.

"Good morning my love" she says softly, handing me one of the mugs and sitting next to me on the bed.

"Mornin' sweetheart". She cups my face and kisses me, soft and sweet. I kiss her back, with a wanting for something I don't deserve.

I'd never want once front he cherry tree

'Cause my baby's sweet as can be.

She give me toothaches just from kissin' me

It's still hard believing that all this is real. I was supposed to be dead. I did die. Yet here I am, waking up another morning, another morning with her. I remember hearing her when I was fading from the stab wound. I heard her begging me to stay with her and it made me fight. Evidently I wasn't strong enough to win the initial struggle against death, but I made it out alive and came home to her. Despite how ugly the road back was.

When my time comes around

Lay me gently in the cold dark earth

No grave can hold my body down

I'll crawl home to her

I think back to before we were together, back to when I came back after getting dragged to Hell. I wanted to shut everyone out, even her, and bury myself in a new grave of alcohol and guilt. Sam and Bobby had tried to get me to open up, tried to get me to talk about the literal Hell I had been through, Y/N never did. She somehow always knew when to push and when I needed to be left alone. So many nights I stayed awake, unable to sleep through the waves of guilt. Guilt over what I did in Hell, what I put Sam, Y/N and Bobby through, guilt for leaving them. My mind was so loud these nights, I drank until I blacked out. It was after one of these nights that I had woken up with a killer hangover in the bedroom that she usually slept in at Bobby's. Incomplete glimpses from the night before flashed through my head. Remembering how Y/N had found me in my drunken stupor and hauled me up from my seat at the kitchen table. How she managed to get me up the stairs and into bed by herself is beyond me, but I've learned over the years of knowing her, to not underestimate what she's capable of.

Boys, when my baby found me

I was three days on a drunken sin

I woke with her walls around me

Nothin' in her room but an empty crib

And I was burnin' up a fever

I had drug myself out of bed and wandered downstairs, unconsciously searching for her. I found her curled up asleep on the worn out sofa in the library. A new wave of guilt washed over me. I hadn't even pulled my head out of my ass long enough to ask her how she was, and now she had gone out of her way, given up her bed, so I could be comfortable. I didn't deserve her. That's why I kept my feelings for her to myself for so many years. I moved past her to the kitchen quietly, as to not wake her. I wanted to have a pot of coffee ready for her when she woke up, it was the least I could do. I was going to bring her a cup but she heard me moving around in the kitchen before the pot was even done brewing.

"Hey" I saw her rubbing the sleep out of her eyes, her hair disheveled.

My heart swelled at how cute I thought she was when she was like this, though I would never tell her that. Not only because I thought it might ruin our friendship, but also because she would probably stab me for calling her cute.

"Hey" she responded, voice still thick with sleep.

"You want a cup of coffee? ", I asked as I poured a cup for her, already knowing what her answer would be.

"Please", she said with a tired smile.

That morning over coffee, I had told her some of what I went through in Hell, that I had broken and tortured souls. She listened, without judgment, without fear and without asking questions I didn't feel like answering at the moment. The fact the she didn't push me made me comfortable to tell her everything.

I didn't care much how long I live

But I swear I thought I dreamed her

She never asked me once about the wrong I did

And now almost 6 years later, I'm still doing the same thing. I put her through all that again. I made a stupid decision that got me dead, but I made it back, only to try and shut her out. But now that we're together, I know she's not going to let me do that and I'm too tired and I love her too much to fight her, even though everything in me is telling me to stay away from her. I don't know how she can even look at me, let alone still be with me. I tried to kill her and Sam when I was a demon and there's more terrible things I did that she doesn't even know about, though I'm pretty sure she knows and isn't telling me. After her and Sam cured me, I tried to keep her at arms distance, tried to tell her the list of reasons why she shouldn't want me anymore. How could anyone forgive me after everything I did. But she took me into her arms and kept telling me it wasn't really me, that her and Sam still love me and all that matters is that she has me back.

My baby never fret none

About what my hands and my body done

If the Lord dont forgive me

I'd still have my baby and my babe would have me

When I was kissing on my baby

She spent all of last night kissing away my pain. I want to take away her pain too. I set my coffee on the nightstand and reach over to take her cup too, setting it beside mine.

"What'cha doin'" she looked confused until I turned back, grabbing her and pulling her to lay with me.

"Fixing it", I whispered, knowing it wasn't an answer that made sense, but I was going to kiss her until it fixed her broken heart.

I moved to hover over her and just looked at her, holding her face in my hands. Even in the low light of the early morning, she's still breathtakingly gorgeous. She pulls me down to kiss her and I get the feeling she knows what I'm trying to do. I pour everything I'm feeling into kissing her, how sorry I am for leaving her, for all the heartache it caused her. I don't think I'll ever erase from my mind, the sound of her crying as I was dying. The memory has me blinking back tears. I turn to hide my face in her neck and trail kisses along her shoulder. Her arms wrap around my back and I can't help but melt into her, breathing in the scent of her perfume. The weight is off my shoulders for once, I can breathe easier, and nothing matters outside of us.

And she put her love down soft and sweet

In the low lamplight I was free

Heaven and Hell were words to me

When my time comes around

It's moments like these that make me fight so hard. Fight to be better, do better. Fight for her and fight to stay with her. I roll over onto my back, pulling her with me to lay her head on my chest.

"I promise that no matter what happens I'll alway find a way back to you". It was a promise I was making to myself as much as it was to her, and I intended to keep it.

Lay me gently in the cold dark earth

No grave can hold my body down

I'll crawl home to her

[whumpshaped]

whumpee being taken off of feel good bliss drugs after being rescued but having the potential to such severe withdrawals that the doctors literally prescribe the whumpee with the same drug, just lowering in dosage each time so their body doesn’t go into shock.

caretaker is responsible for administration and whumpee has to deal with the fact that caretaker has to watch them go into the same messed up headspace they were in whilst capture and is ashamed, embarrassed, and mortified

tw bad caretaker/caretaker turned whumper, dubcon drugging (syringe), betrayal, manipulation, gaslighting, addiction

Whumpee couldn’t help squirming when Caretaker walked up to them with the needle. “Do you think– do you think I could start doing it myself? The dosage is pretty low by now, isn’t it?”

Caretaker gave them a sad smile. “I’m sorry, the doctor said it has to be administered by someone else to avoid–”

“Me abusing it. Yeah. I get it.” They shifted again, hesitant to put their arm out. “I just… I wouldn’t do it, you know. And I know how to… to find the vein.”

“Whumpee, it’s okay. Nobody’s judging you.”

“I’m judging me. I hate that you have to see me like this. It’s messed up. It’s embarrassing.”

Caretaker sighed. “I’m sorry. But I don’t find it embarrassing at all, it’s… it’s just medicine, yeah? I’ve never once looked at you and thought– well, anything negative. I hate that you’re going through this, but I’m just happy to be able to help, y’know?”

“Yeah,” they muttered, finally extending an arm so Caretaker could stab them for the hundredth time. “I guess there’s no way around it.”

“This doesn’t change my opinion of you. At all. I love you a lot, and I want to keep you safe.”

Whumpee nodded mutely, watching anxiously as Caretaker took their hand in their own. They couldn’t shake the thought that the substance in the syringe looked… exactly the same as the first day. It looked the same, it wasn’t less, it never felt any different, and it made Whumpee feel like they weren’t making progress at all.

“Can I see the box later?” they asked while Caretaker sanitised the area.

“Hm?”

“The box the meds come in. I’m not asking you to show me the meds, just, just the box– so I know where I am in terms of dosage.”

“Oh, I always throw the box away,” they said with an apologetic look. “I keep them in a different box, so it’s not super easy to spot. Sorry.”

Whumpee swallowed. So there was no way for them to keep track of that either. Great. “It’s fine,” they mumbled.

“You shouldn’t rush it.” They pushed the needle inside, and Whumpee hissed in pain before the feel-good chemicals invaded their mind once again. They could’ve sworn they saw Caretaker smile at the whimper they let out. “It’s doctor’s orders, after all.”

[peanutbutterwrites]

desperation - part two

warnings: drug use, depression, trauma, angst, eluded sexual trauma summary: after the embarrassment that was your first true crush, you realize the truth of people's feelings. the bitch always wins after all. word count: 3.0 k -disclaimer- this is in no way representing people in real life, I respect enhypen as artists and simply wanted to use them in a story. all circumstances are fake.

part one

a/n - sorry this took literally forever. I know it's not super long nor is it the ending that the anon in my ask box asked for, but I just couldn't bring myself to write a happy ending for this one. it just didn't flow well with the characters I had developed and I really love angst for this one. I hope you guys still enjoy this highly anticipated part two and thank you so so much for the support!

THE DAYS FOLLOWING WERE UNEVENTFUL TO SAY THE LEAST. stagnation. that was the only word that could come close to the immobility you found yourself rotting in. phone left unanswered with dozens of text messages and missed calls. ironically, this was the most tangible evidence of attention you could ever remember receiving. you would have been over the moon under any other circumstances, but you had no place for joy in your numb mind.

the only positive that had come out of your horror story was the apparent courage you had gained against mina. though, that perceived courage of you finally ignoring her was better described as an all encompassing apathy you had gained against the world itself. the days and nights melted into each other and even giselle had learned to leave you alone. one person, however, had not.

“hey, what the hell you can’t be in the female dorm!” outcries could be heard from outside your room that you had finally taken full control of. a good thing to note for the future was if you let your side of the room get even more disgusting than giselle kept hers, she would leave in favor of studying in the common space or library. 

“whatever, like you’re gonna do anything.” the second voice rang with an ache of familiarity that had you hiding your head further into the covers. the door to your room swung open with protests coming from giselle before a scoff and multiple complaints of disgust rang through. “geeze, how you can live like this I don’t understand.” your comforter was violently tugged and was met with the first signs of life from you in a while, cries of gripe. “oh come on, this is pathetic.” with one large and final tug, the comforter came off with a sweep causing you to whither into yourself. your eyes were shut tight in attempt to block out the very sudden and very bright intrusion of the sunlight. “I’m serious girl, get yourself together.” you peeked your face out to make eye contact with a very irritated looking sunoo. 

“huh.” was the only sound that you could produce. you had known of course that that voice could only belong to one person, but the fact that he had come all the way here in person, for you, was still dawning. 

“really? huh bitch, what have you been doing?” sunoo said with a scoff. “I think we’re all good and then you don’t text back, or pick up my calls, just leaving us high and dry?” your eyes were wide and unblinking, still putting together than someone was genuinely worried for you. “well?” he crossed his arms and plopped down on the end of your bed, clearly waiting for a response. 

“I,” you began, wondering how you were going to explain what happened to sunoo without sounding insane, “I was tired.” you finally settled on, turning back onto your side. sunoo sighed, making his frustration with you apparent, but you still weren’t in the mood to care. 

“did something happen? you left really suddenly with only sunghoon that night.” you froze, the embarrassment of your behavior still fresh in your mind. but the embarrassment wasn’t what sunoo was focused on evidently. “OH MY GOSH,” he jumped abruptly, grabbing your shoulders and forcing you upright, “did he hurt you?” the genuine concern in his eyes that you were now forced to look at rocked you. it shocked you to your core and brought forward all the emotions you had been suppressing for an unknown amount of time at this point. to your endless mortification, tears flooded your vision and you clutched sunoo’s arms. “why didn’t you tell me?” you shook your head violently, not caring that you could suddenly see giselle’s presence from this position. you allowed sunoo to hold you and pet your hair, shushing you quietly as he patiently waited for you to finish. “goddamnit, you got me going soft on you now.” you couldn’t help but let out a pitiful laugh and attempt to clean your face of salty tears. “tell me whats going on, now.” you took a deep breath, attempting to explain out loud what had happened.

“it wasn’t sunghoon,” still reeling from sobbing, you had to take another breath, “it was ni-ki.” sunoo’s eyebrows shot up and he froze.

“really? look, I know he’s an asshole, but he’s really not the type to force himself on someone. I’d never doubt you, it just seems out of character.” sunoo explained carefully, as he took a piece of your hair and moved it away from your face.

“no, he didn’t force himself on me.” you explained with some difficulty what you had witnessed between him and mina that night. you had expected sunoo to be there for you instantly, but he was always surprising you after all.

“I’m gonna be honest with you right now,” he said coldly, and you paused uncomfortably, “that’s ridiculous.” your heart and rising hopes dropped immediately.

“you wouldn’t understand.” sunoo let out a boisterous laugh at that making you shrink back into yourself. 

“understand why you like to torture yourself? yeah that’s right, I don’t understand that.” 

“I can’t control who I like sunoo.”

“that’s a bullshit answer to all this.” you angrily snapped your head to quip a comeback, but the words died in your throat when no anger or harshness was present in sunoo’s appearance at all. “I mean seriously, look around. you’re a mess, your room’s a mess, I had to physically drag you out of bed. I mean come on, have you even been eating?” like a bucket of cold water, you were snapped out of all your fiery emotions. “that’s what I mean. sure I feel bad for you for liking that guy of all people, but the way you handle it is pathetic.” with your mind still moving slowly, most likely due to the lack of nourishment and sleep, sunoo only sighed and began working on your room. he picked up clothes, got laundry together, and even forced giselle to help him collect trash all while you sat on bed. eyes staring forward, unmoving, you allowed your mind to churn while sunoo went on and on with his motivational speech. “you know what, you’re getting out tonight.” your thoughts snapped back to sunoo and your eyes focused once again. you looked around, your room was clean. “just come hang out with us, you need to leave this room.” your eyes remained wandering as you took in the new condition of the dorm room, it hadn’t been this clean since move in day. 

“I’m not sure I have a choice.” with that sunoo gave you a sweet and smile and pushed you towards the shower, giving you the time you needed to wash up. it was soothing, taking a hot shower after disregarding that need for a while. it made you feel more human. your hair routine took time, but you did it meticulously for the first time in a while. sunoo watched as you applied your makeup and picked out your outfit silently, he offered words of encouragement and expressed his opinion on different outfits, but that was about it. “you ready?” all you could offer was a nod before you began to follow him, waving a quiet goodbye to giselle. 

“where are you going?” you had to admit her voice had a bit of a grip on you. you hadn’t spoken a word to her since the incident. it caused you to pause momentarily before sunoo gripped your arm gently. 

“nowhere.” she scoffed.

“what do you mean nowhere?” you took a deep breath before focussing your energy on sunoo’s support.

“it’s none of your business mina. I’m going out, with my friend.” out of the corner of your eye you saw sunoo smile affectionately with approval. mina looked shocked, she had yet to witness this side of you. but you didn’t give her any satisfaction of an apology or any more of your time. grabbing sunoo this time, you pulled him towards the door and signaled it was time to leave. once you had left the dorm completely, you were met with a tight warm hug from sunoo and a warmer feeling in your chest.

------------------------------ + -------------------------------

on the drive to the beach you were apparently going too, you and sunoo sat in silence. you were deep in thought about mina and your friendships in general. at the end of this whole mess, at least you knew you had a friend in sunoo. when you had arrived, there was already a sunset and a bonfire being started in the distance. you could make out the six figures of the other boys, meaning the whole friend group was already here.

“are you sure it’s okay to barge in like this?” sunoo scoffed.

“you aren’t barging in if you’re my friend.” you offered him a small smile and he gave you a pat on the head. making your way to the group, you wiped your sweaty palms on your t-shirt and gulped down the last bit of nervous bile. you could hear tumultuous laughter ringing throughout the beach and couldn’t help but smile when you could distinguish jake’s boyish laughter from the others. the only give away that something had occurred was the slight silence of some of the boys, but most of the excited reactions you got distracted from that. jake, of course, jumped up and tackled you with a large hug. 

“where have you been? you disappeared for a minute.” he said, jokingly while punching your shoulder. you laughed a little awkwardly, stating you just fell into a funk. they beckoned you into the circle and brought out beers and blankets. you ended up sitting curled up next to sunoo and jungwon, ni-ki going completely ignored. truthfully, you didn’t know how to handle him. so despite the daggers he was glaring at you, you remained eyes trained on all six other boys. you guys fell into a casual conversation with lots of laughter, save for ni-ki, still sending a stone cold glare your way. you shivered uncomfortably under his gaze, with sunoo noticing. 

“you cold?” you couldn’t think of a good alternative, so you nodded in agreeance. sunoo simply opened his blanket and helped scooch you into his lap. shaking away the initial uncomfortableness of the position, you relaxed into him and began to laugh with the other boys again. despite your comfort, ni-ki’s glare continued to to pierce you and make you shift in your seat.

“okay dude, just stop.” everyone went silent as sunoo suddenly interrupted. his voice was irritated and you tensed up immediately, never hearing this tone from sunoo before, even in your dorm room. he glared back at ni-ki and you knew the subject of his sudden outburst. 

“something wrong?” he responded with that cocky, deep voice. sunoo scoffed.

“just leave her alone, you got what you wanted didn’t you?” ni-ki took a deep breath out of his cigarette, and kept that cold face. the only sign of movement was his heel unconsciously bouncing on the sand. it unnerved you, but sunoo didn’t seem fazed. 

“i'm serious ni-ki, take your problems out on someone else.” he froze at that and instantly put out his cig. he dusted his pants off and stood up quickly, everyone else seemed rooted in place. 

“come on.” he said offering his hand to you, but you stayed still. he let out a frustrated huff and grabbed your wrist harshly, hauling you up and out of your seat. sunoo was quick to your aid, but ni-ki brushed him off pulling you farther down the beach and towards the water. the other boys seemed to jump up but were hesitant to do anything to actually stop ni-ki. as he dragged you down the beach, you stumbled behind him kicking up sand and scratching your feet on the occasional rock causing tears to spring to your eyes. finally fed up after minutes of him lugging you around, you yanked your arm out of his hand.

“okay what do you want? what did I ever do to you?” 

“what did you do to me?” he asked in a threatening voice. the scene reminded you of a lamb wandering into a wolfs den and had you retreating into yourself. “you exist. that’s enough. the way you walk and talk, like you constantly need validation, don’t you know how infuriating that is for everyone around you?” trying to back away from the harsh words, you moved to get away, but he grabbed both of your forearms and held you tightly in place. “no, you don’t get to ignore this and act like its another thing I’ve done to you. you may have sunoo fooled but I know you. you act like everything is everyone else's fault, when its yours. its your fault.” at this point tears were streaming down your face and hiccups were beginning to get caught in your throat. your biggest fears were being shouted at you and you couldn’t pretend like they didn’t exist. 

“why, are you doing this?” you managed to get out between hiccups and sobs. “why waste your energy?”

“see there it is!” he yelled exasperated. “till the very end you’re acting like this is my fault, its yours goddamnit! you make yourself such an easy target, grow up!” at this you completely broke down. sobs racking your body, your knees buckling causing you to fall into the sand and bring ni-ki down with you. snot ran down your nose and your breathing was completely uncontrollable. “hey, hey, hey. I’m sorry. look, it's okay.” his movements switched to frantic and tried to pull you into a hug despite your constant shoving. eventually, he overpowered your weak last bits of strength and wrapped you into his arms forcefully. pinning you to him, he rocked you back and forth and hushed you softly. petting your hair down, he mumbled apologies over and over.

“i’ll make it up to you okay.” your sobs turned into sniffles and you all you were left with was confusion. 

“ni-ki” you said softly to make him stop talking. “I just don’t understand, why are you doing this?” at this he froze and you felt his jaw tense up. 

“I’ll fuck you okay, will that make you stop?” you twisted in his arms and tried to look at his eyes, but he turned his head quickly and looked out towards the waves instead. “it’s how I know how to make things right okay, so don’t be mad at me. I’m sorry I took my anger out on you, okay?” 

“why are you angry?” he ignored you question and tensed his jaw up again instead of responding. “ni-ki, just help me understand.” his head snapped angrily towards you and you watched a flash of anger but also hurt pass through his eyes. 

“there’s no point. either fuck me and leave, or just leave.” speechless, you were moving before your brain could comprehend your emotions. shoving him off of you, you jumped up abruptly and walked away, leaving him sitting in the sand. you had finally realized, none of it actually mattered. you could be as sweet as possible and still no one would like you. you could try as hard as you wanted to make everyone happy, but in reality everyone, including you, hated you. as you made your way back to the group, tears were still wet on your face but anger and understanding solidified your decision. 

“hey, you okay?” sunoo was the first to ask, but you ignored in favor of grabbing your stuff and forcing his car keys into his hand.

“take me home now or I’m driving your car.” shocked, sunoo jumped to run after you as you stormed away and unlocked the car. jumping in, you turned to him.

“you know what, I’m tired of being fucking quiet. It’s better to just run my mouth like mina and be a bitch, at least people shut the fuck up then.” quietly, stunned, sunoo shifted the car into drive and peeled away from the curb. looking out into the almost completely snuffed out sun, your mind was made up. 

so what if you aren’t special, just act like it.

[starrywyatt]

chapter 8: on a mission to help my tragically single friend 

☆ never saw it comin'- a george clarkey story ☆

! THIS STORY READS BEST IN DARK MODE !

masterlist

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madison's pov:

i wake up the next day and can feel my head on a surface that is not as soft as my pillow normally is. i open my eyes and realise it's rested on someone's chest. what the fuck happened last night? i look up as high as my eyes allowed without moving head and i recognise the beard, oh my god it's george. thankfully, i can feel clothes on my body and it looks like he's fully clothed too so i hope i didn't drunkenly throw myself onto him.

i hate how my first reaction to this scenario is to smile to myself and i don't really want to move, so i just try to go back to sleep. a few minutes later, i can feel george stir underneath me and determine how i should play this. if he's not interested, then he's probably going to be really weirded out by this position but i have no recollection of the previous evening and how drunk he was. i decide to also slowly wake up as i didn't want to leave him uncomfortable for long. "morning" he says, slightly laughing, probably out of awkwardness. "good morning" i look up and laugh also, his arm was still firmly round my waist so i guess he's not too weirded out. "please don't be freaked out. you were like really drunk and scared you'd in quote 'choke and die' on your own sick, so i stayed with you" he explains, making both of us laugh. "oh no! i'm so sorry" i say, bringing my hands up to hide my face. "it's fine. you don't snore so could've been a worse sleeping arrangement" he says. "what time is it?' i ask and he has to stretch over to the bedside table to reach his phone, causing me to fall off his chest and the sudden lack of warmth from george makes me shiver slightly. "jesus, it's half 1!" he says, laughing slightly. "in the afternoon?" i ask, rubbing my eyes. "no, we slept for 20 hours, it's the next day" he says sarcastically. "no way!" i join in. "how are you feeling?" he asks, turning over to face me. "i can feel a headache pending" i say. "i did try to feed you paracetamol- wait that sounds wrong" he says, laughing nervously. "great, you brought me here and drugged me" i joke. "pretty much" he shrugs and thankfully i can tell he's joking. "well, thanks for looking after me. i really appreciate it, god knows where i'd be if you didn't" i laugh. "head first in the thames, you had no idea where you were heading" george says, making us both laugh.

we get up for the day and i get back changed into the outfit i arrived in yesterday whilst george used the bathroom to brush his teeth and then we swapped over. "can we both agree to say i slept on the floor to avoid the questioning?" george says before we exit into the kitchen. "agreed" i nod and we see abigail and chris cuddled on the sofa. "oh hello you two" abi smiles. "afternoon" chris jokes. "ha ha, funny joke" george rolls his eyes sarcastically. i walk over and dive onto the sofa next to abi, ruining their romantic moment. she hugs me, looking slightly disappointed i broke them up. "did you sleep with him?" she whispers in my ear, referring to george. "what the fuck, no" i whisper back. "i heard that" chris says at a normal level, causing confusion to george. "have you guys eaten?" george asks chris and abigail. "yeah mate, we had time to eat 2 meals before you guys woke up" chris says. "oh shut up, i literally had to carry you home like 3 weeks ago" george says, causing abi to turn to chris in joke disappointment. "he's lying!" chris says.

"madi, do you want something to eat?" george asks from the kitchen. "umm, i don't mind only if you're having" i turn round from the sofa and smile. "fuck we have like no food in" george says, rummaging through the cupboards. "no worries, i can run to the shop?" i say, feeling bad he was going out of his way for me. "um alright then, i can come with you?" he says and i agree. "why don't you two just go out for lunch? saves the hassle of cooking" abi suggests, smirking knowing exactly what she's doing. "yeah could do actually, could ask max and andrew if they're free?" george suggests and part of me does feel a little bit sad to not spend time with just him but it makes it a bit less awkward. "yeah, sounds great" i smile and he goes to his room to phone max.

"i know what you're doing!" i whisper and point to abigail and chris and they both just laugh. "i don't know what you're talking about!" abi shrugs. "it failed anyways" i say. "i know, bloody max and andrew" chris says. "to be honest, makes it a bit less awkward" i shrug. "you didn't look very awkward last night" abi raises her eyebrows and thankfully, george walks back into the room. "they're coming here in 20 minutes" he smiles. "great, i might just quickly put on some makeup, abi can i borrow some of yours?" she says yes and i go into chris' room to touch it up.

george's pov:

i suggested max and andrew come because i didn't want to make madi feel awkward because it's essentially a date if it's just us two? well, no we're just friends but ugh i don't know, i felt awkward.

madison reappears and we head down to meet max and andrew. i did knock on arthur's door to see if he wanted to come but he was too tired. we walk outside and max and andrew were waiting for us. "glad to see you're alive" andrew jokes, referring to madi's previous drunken state. "god, don't remind me" she puts her head in her hands and we all laugh. i suggest joe and the juice and everyone agrees. i notice madison flash a small smile to me and i reciprocate. i chose it as i know she likes it and i also wanted to faintly remind her of our encounter about a week ago.

madison's pov:

we make it to the cafe and george immediately heads to the toilet because he forgot to go before we left. "so, is this a double date? what's going on?" max asks, smiling widely. "what? no! i promise you guys, literally nothing is going on" i say. "do you know what? i actually do believe her. you know how bad george's rizz is" andrew says, looking to max. "i still don't believer her!" max laughs and thankfully george arrives back to the table. "we'll go order and then you guys go?" max suggests so we don't lose the table.

it was now just me and george. "how are you feeling?" george laughs, referring to the after effects of my drinking. "not too bad surprisingly. headache is definitely there, but so far no sickness" "do you remember anything after getting home?" he asks. "i don't even remember getting home!" i laugh. "oh dear, to be honest you were in a state" he laughs. "it's max and arthur's fault" i laugh. "yeah i'm a bit scared of how you're going to cope on tour with arthur, you two are going to be off the rails" he laughs and max and andrew arrive back at the table with their food, so we head to the counter. "what you getting?" i ask george. he tells me and i relay to the cashier before telling them my own. "pay when you're ready" they say and turn around to make our drinks. "i'll get it" george says. "no you won't" i say and we begin arguing back and forth as we both try to put our cards down and i snatch his out his hands and pay. "that's for last time and letting me sleep in your bed" i smirk, saying the last part quietly and he rolls his eyes in defeat. "thank you" he smiles. "you can carry the tray though" i smile and he just shakes his head, laughing but does it anyways.

we sit down and begin to eat, making general conversation. "so when does tour start? two weeks?" max asks. "just less than 2 weeks now" i say, pulling a nervous face. "excitinggg" andrew says. "need to get my sequin outfit ready" george says. "oh my god please!" i say and everyone laughs. "yeah, no way is that happening" george says. "ugh you're so boring" i roll my eyes.

we finish up eating and head back to george's flat. max and andrew had to head home for a meeting. "for fuck sake, did you not get me anything?" arthur sighs. "you sai-" george starts but arthur cuts him off, laughing "i'm joking." "are you ready for tour rehearsals tomorrow?" i ask arthur. "shit, is that tomorrow? i forgot it was the 26th today" i nod and can see the panic on arthur's face. "it's fine, at least you don't have to remember like 13 dance routines like i do" i sigh. "yeah, i'm not jealous" he laughs. "13? jesus" george sighs. "yeah mate, it's a full on show"

abi appears out of chris' room, they kiss goodbye causing the rest of us to audibly gag and then we head home as i need to get ready for rehearsals tomorrow and abi had an audition.

george's pov:

as i head to bed that evening, i scroll instagram and my algorithm still thinks madison is my only interest. however, one post catches my attention.

how did someone even get this photo? i didn't even notice it being taken. however, it was funny watching people speculate what was going on with me and madison because even we don't know but hopefully people realise we're just friends.

the next week is busy for all of us. madison and arthur are in full swing for tour rehearsals and i have been doing some filming with the sidemen for their channel and side plus. however, me, chris and abi decide we want to throw a surprise party for madison and arthur after their first london show to celebrate the tour starting.

i open instagram and the first post that pops up on my feed is from madison of her and arthur in rehearsals and it made me realise i have actually missed having both of them around.

abigail had been staying with chris this week to help us plan the party but also because madison wasn't home much and she felt lonely apparently. she walks into the kitchen, "oh george, are you going to the gym today?" she asks me. "yeah probably" i reply, washing up my plate. "omg, could you do me a massive favour, i left some stuff at the flat that i need for my audition tomorrow. madison should be there later, could you grab it off her and bring it back here?" she ask. "yeah, no problem" i smile, secretly happy it gives me an excuse to see madison. "does she know i'm coming?" i ask. "umm no, i can tell her?" she says. "no it's fine i'll text her" i say.

i get changed and run to the gym, before texting madison i'll be there in the next hour.

i finish my workout and head over to madi's. "hello i'm outside" i say on the phone. "coming down" she says and within a couple minutes, the door swings open. "hey" she says, smile as wide as always and pulls me in for a hug. "sorry i'm a bit sweaty" i laugh. we go upstairs, "how's rehearsals been?" i ask. "stressful, tiring, everything aches but it will be worth it" she laugh. "i can imagine, can't believe how quickly the tours come around" i say. "i know, 5 nights to go. i'm terrified" she says, turning to stir the saucepan that's on the hob. "i'm making dinner by the way if you want to stay? i doubt abi's coming back tonight so there'll be spare" she suggests and i would love to but i've not showered since the gym and become conscious that i probably don't smell too great. "i would but i'm probably not the nicest smelling company right now" i say. "you know i do own a shower?" she smiles. "i mean i guessed so" i laugh. "you can shower if you want? dinner will be like 20 minutes" she suggests. "i mean only if you're sure?" i say hesitantly. "yes, i'll be bored eating on my own. i'll grab a towel for you" she says and goes to her room to find it and returns with soft, clean towel.

she shows me how to use it and leaves me to shower. thankfully i keep spare clothes in my gym bag.

madison's pov:

truth is, i didn't want george to leave, i hadn't seen him much recently and my anxiety has been through the roof with tour coming up and other family issues and i knew he would be able to take my mind off things. it's also pretty boring without abigail.

"thanks for that, very good water pressure you have" george says jokingly. "thank you, i appreciate the feedback" i laugh. my god, he looked good with wet hair. madison, pick yourself up. "do you need a hand with anything?" he asked, standing near me. "no, i'm just about to plate up actually" i smile and he sits down waiting patiently, i place his plate down in front of him. "thank you very very much" he smiles. "no problem, arthur says you live off deliveroo so i thought you should get a home cooked meal" i say. "oh did he now? i don't think i've seen him cook since we moved in!" george laughs. "i can't lie we've been eating really bad at rehearsals. too many mc donalds have been consumed" i laugh.

we finish up eating and george insists on washing up, although it ends up causing more chaos as he knows where nothing goes in the cupboards. "no! over there" i say, pointing at the correct cupboard and we both laugh.

"umm, my youtube home page tells me you filmed a 100 vs 1 video recently" i say, teasing george. "oh god, yes maybe i did" he says, looking embarrassed. "do you want to watch it with me?" i laugh, jumping on the sofa, turning the tv on. "noo" george sighs, but sitting down anyways. "wait if i'm on your home page, you must be a fan" he tries to turn the embarrassment to me. "yeah, fan of calfreezy. it's on his channel" i shrug and george admits defeat. truth is, i've never watched a calfreezy video and have definitely watch a few if not all of george's videos. we sit next to each other and i can see george is tense and laughing nervously.

"hey guys, welcome back to my channel! today i'm on the mission to help my tragically single friend, george clarkey find love or at the least a shag, he really needs it" cal says, tapping his shoulder. "i do" george sighs. "tragically single is mean" i turn to george laughing. "i don't know if i'm going to be able to sit through this!" he says. "so george, i have to ask what your type is?" cal says. "well, ideally someone not in the industry and i guess my track record is blonde, short girls" he explains and i feel my heart sink, he basically just described the exact opposite of me. "this was filmed ages ago, i have forgotten what i said" he laughs but i'm still distracted by his last comment but i try play it off cool. "shall i go buy some box dye?" i point to the door, jokingly. and i have no idea where that joke came from. "what?" george laughs, missing the joke so i just say it doesn't matter.

we continue to watch george embarrass himself in front of tens of stunning girls. "oh no, this next part is so bad" he says, putting his head in his hands. "i think my phones broken, can you call it to check it works?" the girl asks. "sure" george says but goes to grab her phone, missing the whole joke. "nooo, i can't look" he says and buries his head in my shoulder and i continue laughing. i pat his head sarcastically comforting him. "that's actually so embarrassing. i want to die" he says, lifting his head up. "hmm i'd more suggest a 2 week vacation with no contact to anyone" i shrug. we finish the video and he ends up going on a date and picking the final girl, who is conveniently a blonde model and then i realise... omg it's erin. that's how they met! they go on the date and he's feeding her grapes and wine and to be honest, it's kind of a hard watch for me and we mostly sit in silence, thankfully the video ends soon after.

"have you spoke to erin since?" i ask and george turns to face me. "not really, i'm not interested anymore but i'm just trying to let her down gently" he shrugs. "why not? she's gorgeous and clearly your type. not famous, blonde" i list the qualities (that i don't have).

george's pov:

i didn't want to watch the video with madi because i knew how it ended, me with erin. and i also remembered the blonde and not famous comment i made. and to be honest, i wasn't lying but they cut out the part where i said i didn't really have a type, just that the last 2 girls i'd spoken to were blonde but i truly had no preference. and the non-famous comment i made was true but i feel like madison has shown me that maybe i wouldn't mind dating someone in a similar industry but i couldn't explain myself because then it makes my feelings obvious. "i mean yeah, but i don't really have a type. i don't know, she's a nice girl but something just felt wrong, it's more of a personal thing" i shrug. "i get it, i've become a lot more emotionally unavailable since thomas cheated" she shrugs and i have to use context clues to realise thomas is her ex. "yeah that must suck. i think my biggest issue is, i've given so much to the wrong people. like i trust people too easily and now i find it hard to trust at all" i say and then realise maybe i'm saying too much. "god that got deep, sorry" i laugh nervously. "no, it's fine it's nice to see a serious side of you" she smiles, readjusting her seated position and it somehow ends up being closer to me. "you'll know when the right person to trust comes around. that's why most of my boyfriends have been friends first because what do you mean you're jumping into a romantic relationship with someone you don't even know. scary. or you're going on hinge dates with people you've known for 24 hours" she jokes about my catfishing experience. "wow, that was aimed" i laugh. "if the shoes fit" she shrugs.

after a few moments of silence, madison turns to face me "do you trust me?" and i can see sincerity in her eyes but i can also tell she feels slightly awkward asking it. "yeah, definitely. i've never really told anyone what i just told you" i say, smiling. "well i appreciate your honesty" she says, smiling. "hug?" she asks. "ugh if i have to" i roll my eyes jokingly. she sits up slightly and basically sits in my lap and we hug tightly, neither of us seeming to let go. "i'm so lucky to have a friend like you" madison says before we pull away and i can see tears in her eyes. "are you okay?" i ask. "yeah, sorry i think the hormones, stress and lack of sleep all caught up with me" she laughs and i wipe a tear from her eyes and then panic that was too forward. "everything is going to be okay, i promise" i say looking in her eyes sincerely. and she just nods and i can see more tears threatening to fall from her eyes, so i hug her again. she grips me tightly and i never want her to let go.

[rreskk]

Hello mother of Trevor smut!

Do you write for Michael? And if so... I am in dire need of Micheal fucking reader in front of Trevor (reader is dating Trevor) and reader moans Michaels name so Uncle T gets mad.

Thank you!! -Anon

A good old angsty- drama AND smutty fanfic??? Yes!

Summary: His best-friend made you feel way better... And he hated it.

TW: -Smut -Drug use

Pairings: Fem!reader/ Michael Townley (slight /Trevor Philips as well)

Word count: 2226

Back in the North Yankton days, it wasn’t uncommon for the boys to share girls for good sex. You’ve seen it yourself when chilling in their motel rooms. While you and Trevor would share smokes and watch crappy movies through this static TV, Michael (or Brad) would have this prostitute in the background, fucking her pussy stupid. They’d take turns as well.

It was hard to get used to considering you’ve never seen people so open and shameless about their sex addictions. Even Trevor’s sex-drive was a complete shock to you after every night of sex, he’d wake up horny still. You were constantly bouncing on his dick whenever he wasn’t hiding from authorities or doing God knows what with Mikey and Brad.

However, this one night had changed everything.

Trevor had brought you along to this fairly cheap, shitty motel room. It was in the middle of nowhere. Literally.

“Bro, I’m telling you,” Brad was in a middle of an argument with Trevor, “I’m looking at this fucking map and there’s no booze store or strip-joint nearby.”

You were holding both yours and Trevor’s rucksacks as they continued to bicker heatedly. It was a normal thing.

Michael had sat down beside you with a tired expression. He ogled you for a moment before smiling. Your relationship with Mikey was sweet and close. He always looked out for you in such ways that made you feel… Important. Although you loved Trevor, he didn’t have that “boyfriend material” to him. Unlike Michael. He was pure “husband material” from the way he’d help clean all your clothes, protect you from Trevor’s occasional tantrums, drive you places, steal you period products (etc…)

“You’re a fuckin’ prick!” You heard your boyfriend cry as he’d storm over and snatch his bag from your arms. He hurried through it, pulling out a stash of cocaine and stomping to the small bathroom.

Sometimes… Just sometimes you looked at Michael and wished he was your boyfriend instead.

And sometimes… You think he knows that.

“Great, he’s in a bad mood – “ The bathroom door slammed shut, “… Again.” Mikey muttered.

“He’s a fucking asshole!” Brad attempted to correct Michael’s vocabulary.

“He’s not that bad.”

“Don’t lie to yourself, [y/n]. You deserve better.”

You sighed. Michael was right.

“I’d get myself a proper man, if I were you.” Remarked Brad who kept his concentration on the small map provided by the motel.

 “He is nicer when we are alone.” You tried to comfort yourself.

“Really?”

“Yeah. We cuddle, watch movies together… And, uh… We do other things as well – “

“Have sex, yeah. We know,” Mikey exhaled, “Trevor tells us everything.”

“He does?” You felt your heart ache a little bit. Your nights alone together, you thought it was romantic and sentimental. Now you’re realising that he sees as nothing but a stress relief.

“Yes. Is date nights really just blowjobs and handjobs?” He’d ask.

Being honest was painful. When you nodded, it was basically telling Mikey and Brad that Trevor ain’t worth shit.

“I don’t suppose you know if he actually… Loves me, right?”

Michael was hesitant but kept his composure.

“He does love you. He just struggles with expressing it,” He’d tried to explain, “He does think of you a lot, trust me. He knows he ain’t the model boyfriend, but he can’t help it.”

“Right.”

“He’s a bit loco, [y/n].” Brad whistled.

“Listen, [y/n]… I know it’s hard being around him. I mean, I’ve known the dickhead for years and he’s always been pretty manic.” Michael was sitting close to you at this point.

“Well, yeah, he’s literally snorting coke right no – “

“Brad, shut up!” Mikey groaned, his hand hesitantly touching your thigh as he returned his attention to you.

“He’s emotionally unstable.” You’d whisper.

“Very…”

Silence overcame you both. Your eyes drifted to his hand-placements, finding yourself happy when he fondled your legs and sit as close as he could. When making eye-contact, you both smiled warmly.

“I still can’t believe that lucky bastard managed to charm you.” He’d whisper before leaning close, sight fixating on your lips.

You had the temptation for a while, now it was within your reach. The risk… He was only in the other room filling himself with every drug imaginable. You hoped if he was to see this, he’d be too high to see or function.

Bradley noticed the increased tension of you both and sucked in his lips. He decided – last minute – to turn his back and “pretend” he wasn’t aware of what was going on (a cowardice action to avoid confrontation since… He didn’t want to be the target of any fury).

Then he heard shifting on the other bed and cringed. Trevor’s totally going to kill Michael.

You were lying under him as he leaned closer before your lips touched. Your hands touched his shaved head, clasping his jacket, feeling his jaw when you both grew very indulged throughout the kiss.

Michael would continuously peer over his shoulder before you both began stripping clothes. He was anxious as well, you could tell. You didn’t want this to disturb his performance so you guided his lips against your neck and begged him to carry on. He was quick to react and made love to every inch of your exposed skin until you were a hopeless mess. 

“You don’t want him to hear…” Mikey murmured in your ear, his hands removing your shirt and bra.

“Guys, c’mon… If you’re gonna fuck, I ain’t gonna stay around!” You heard Bradley murmur as he stumbled out of the motel room.

“Good riddance.” Michael’s voice rumbled against your neck, his tongue leaving trails of his saliva, reaching your collarbone and lower.

No matter how good it felt, each moan shook with guilt. He was only in the other room, you boyfriend, well… Unconfirmed boyfriend (thanks to his possessiveness), and now you were getting freaky with his best friend.

“Oh, fuck – “ You’d struggle when he kissed down your stomach.

Then a deep ruckus occurred in the bathroom, the sound of things being dropped and whatnot. It was followed by a deep, slurred voice (after the digestion of cocaine).

“Baaaabbeeee!” Trevor called from behind the closed door, “Where’s my fuckin’… Lighter? It ain’t in my fuckin’ bag!”

Mikey froze and gazed up at you. He mouthed something but you were too busy panicking.

“[y/n]? Answer me, baby! I want to have my weed!”

“I- I think… I think it’s, uh…”

“Argh, I found it! It was in my fuckin’ hand.” Shouted Trevor as Michael breathed out in relief and continued kissing your tummy pouch and hips.

His lips reached your pantie lines and your hand itched, grabbing the back of his head for support. He’d grunt in response before pulling down your panties and looking up, waiting for your signal.

“What if he…” Your words trailed off when you stared into his blue eyes. It instantly melts you.

“[y/n], it’ll be okay.”

And with that, you nodded and lifted up your hips for him to confiscate your panties. Michael smiled warmly. He threw it aside and hovered over your naked body. He skipped the usual foreplay you were used to with Trevor. It was weird not having him suck your boobs, leave huge marks on your neck, make out until your lips were swollen.

It was refreshing… Yet when he pulled your legs up to line himself with your wet cunt, it was just hard to miss that extra loving.

“Ah, yes!” Your thoughts about Trevor were washed away when Michael pushed into your pussy. He caressed your thighs when thrusting in and out, holding your legs over his shoulders.

“There we go…” His words were comforting and soft, the opposite of him.

“Oh, God… It’s so good, Mikey! – “

You both were unaware of the bathroom door opening. Facing the bed, Trevor’s high-state quickly crashed down. He held the blunt in his mouth and stared at Michael, who was making you moan louder than he’s ever heard.

The betrayal, jealousy. He was ENRAGED.

“Fuck, fuck!” Your whimpers combined with Mikey’s grunts sounded like nails on a chalkboard to Trevor.

The shock he felt made it hard to speak. He just stood there, weak. He let the blunt drop from his mouth as he watched his best friend fuck his girl. Trevor ogled the way your body shook when being fucked. He watched you stare up at Michael with nothing but pure lust and admiration. The jealousy quickened after your moans only increased in pitch.

“Mikey!”

Deciding to make his awareness known, Trevor stepped closer to the bed and make eye-contact with you. You gasped and held your breasts, as if that helped the situation.

“Uh, yeah… Oh, fuck – what? Huh?” Michael noticed your shocked expression before he peered over his shoulder and saw the murderous glare from his best buddy, “Shit, Trevor, bro! – “

“The fuckin’ fuck! Are you fuckin’ my girl, Mikey? What… [y/n]? What the fuck is this!” He’d outrageously shout, eyes burning with Hell.  

“Trevor,” You breathed as Mikey continued to thrust despite being caught, “Please, Trevo – Ah! Michael! Yes!” Then he found your G-spot, ruining your chance of an explanation by pathetically moaning his best friends name.

“Sorry, Trevor.” He’d pant through the cycle of hitting your G-spot until you were both on the edge of a good orgasm.

Even though he was completely furious and psychotic, whenever Trevor watched you moan, it was arousing. He held his tongue. He developed a boner, raging like his anger. He wanted to yell, he wanted to punch Mikey, but most of all, he wanted in. He tried to ignore this fantasy by screaming insults at you both.

“YOU ARE BOTH JUDAS!”

Yet it toned down after he couldn’t contain himself. Michael, using his thumb, rubbed your clit as he thrusted deeper and deeper into your pussy. He worked hard to see you so beautifully shaken.

“Mikey! Ah! Yes!” You’d moan unconsciously.

Trevor leaned against the wall, pulling out his erection and rubbing it raw. His glare remained fixated on you. He jacked off to you being fucked stupid dumb. He pleasured himself dry, wishing he was in Michael’s place. The jealousy. He was in anguish knowing that you were receiving the best sex of your life.

“I fuckin’ hate you both.” Trevor growled from the wall, his hand beating his cock until it was bruised and swollen.

“I’M GONNA CUM, MIKEY!”

“I fuckin’… hate you…” Your boyfriends voice turned into harsh whispers as he was intensely motivated on jacking off.

“[y/n]… [y/n]…” Michael breathed and jerked his hips into your, crying out your name. His penis shivered and soon enough, you gasped as you climaxed, cum caking his dick that was begging for disclosure.

“AH! YES!”

He fucked you through the orgasm before pulling out and touching his tip, encouraging his semen to squirt and paint your tummy. He squeezed his eyes shut and inhaled. The climax, for Michael, looked much needed since he stumbled onto his knees and placed a hand on your breast, struggling to breathe.

“Mmm.” Trevor huffed when witnessing the hot-mess. He clawed his cock, even though it was burning with brutality. He whispered your name and when he made eye-contact with your guilty face, his mood grew more hostile and his masturbation got increasingly heavy.

Michael quickly stood up and tucked away his length, deciding that he had tortured his buddy enough. He gave you knowing glance, a signal to maybe… Get dressed and leave the room to give him some space.

“I thought we were done with sharing her. She’s my girl, now.” Trevor grunted at Mikey, his hand suffocating his cock.

“She needed some real love.”

“Fuck you, Mikey. Fuck you. FUCK YOU!”

“Sharing is caring…” Was the last thing he could say before a lamp was thrown his way.

You took that sign and dressed yourself, following Michael’s lead out towards the door before he called your name.

“[y/n]… Don’t fuckin’ leave. We ain’t finished here.”

“Trevor, I’m sorry, I really am – “

“Save it. Just stay here. I ain’t gonna let that cunt touch your pussy again, you hear me?” He hissed.

“I am sorry though.”

“Oh, yeah. You looked it.”

“Trevor – “

“I don’t do forgiveness. You can’t even earn that shit from me. But I’ll get my way.” Words barely made it out clear as he was close to his orgasm as well, masturbating with pure stamina due to the high drugs in his system.

You sighed, shame making you feel sick.

“C’mere…” He’d order.

You hesitantly walked over before he came all into his hands, moaning your name in the process. He made you watch as his dick squirted semen against his shaky palms.

“Yeess…” His groans were low-key, almost sounding angry itself.

Then he wiped all that cum onto your face with a sick grin. He rubbed every inch until you were covered.

“There we go… I feel a tiny bit better…”

It was so warm and sticky. You held back the urge to shiver considering it was overstimulating. Trevor then caressed your bottom lip before he walked past you, his shoulder brushing against yours. He walked out of the motel room in silence and left you to think about what you have done, and what is about to happen next.

[intheholler]

Do you have any tips for being more comfortable using your natural accent in front of people? I was bullied for it as a kid and scrubbed my accent away through teenhood. As an adult, I feel like I still have to put on a neutral accent so people at work won't judge me. I told one of my old bosses that I was from Appalachia and he went on about how he'd seen do many documentaries on Appalachia and what good people we were, but also added that "Wow! I never would have known. You don't have an accent at all. You're so well-spoken!" and it felt bad. I think he had good intentions, but it made me feel like a zoo animal. I always see comments on other Appalachian folks' posts about their accents too, and there's always a handful of jerks who have to say something about their intelligence or make an incest or drug addict "joke".

It all hurts a lot and makes me self-conscious, but I don't want to be this way around my friends. Do you know how I can stop letting peoples' ignorance and classism get to me? Worrying about how I pronounce words or if I'm using region-specific slang all the time is so exhausting.

hi there <3 this is a topic near n dear to my heart because i spent so much of my life trying to avoid sounding appalachian, and the last few years of it desperate to sound so aggressively appalachian that yankees can't understand me, lmao.

that is all to say: this is gonna be long as usual.

first: class solidarity, family <3 this stuff really sucks.

what inspired me to push past the discomfort of using my natural accent after a lifetime of getting rid of it was actually along the lines of what you mentioned: people being shocked that i could be from appalachia, and be articulate at the same time. there are so many nasty, hurtful implications there.

i hate to say it, but there's no easy answer to this.

something in me just… snapped one day about ten years back. i started to look inward, and i discovered this overwhelming pride and passion and love for my home that i had denied myself my whole life, out of fear over how it made me look.

i started doing the self-work and digging deeper into that. it wasn't comfortable, but once i embraced appalachia, i wanted to defend her. the best way to do that for me was to be loud. my pride in where im from outweighed the rest.

maybe you should start there, too. look inward, break down your own subconscious biases about yourself and about our home. find out why you have been made to think this way.

work on loving the appalachian parts of yourself. GET. FUCKING. ANGRY. at those who poisoned your mind with this shit, and use that fury to work on dismantling the beliefs they imposed upon you.

because why shouldn't we talk like our mamas just because some asshole thinks its funny? why should we give up ties to our community and culture, just to be respected? why should every blessed conversation be emotionally and physically taxing just to make a classist more comfortable?

it isn't my shame to carry, and it isn't yours. it is their shame, and their self-work to do. it is not our responsibility to coddle their ignorance. that is on them.

now, when someone hears me talk, it causes a sort of dissonance that they then have to wrestle with. it shifts the discomfort and emotional labor away from me, and puts it on to them instead.

every time i speak proudly, they have to confront themselves and their biases, and how it harms someone that they respect--you.

and if they aren't the kind of person empathetic enough to do that, literally who gives a shit what someone like that thinks about you.

turn those 'jokes' they make about it right back on them:

why is drug addiction funny? why is incest and sexual assault of children funny? why are underfunded schools and a failure to give children across the nation a fair and equal education something to laugh about?

framing it in my mind that i was taking back control in conversations this way helped me speak more comfortably. it made me feel empowered.

i think of it like this: by speaking in my dialect and embodying positive and "unexpected" traits from the region (leftist politics, anti-racism, things like that), i reclaim my power. i use that power to slowly shift the opinions of appalachia with the people i interact with.

it was scary, and it's still scary. but by making a conscious decision every day to speak in our dialect and be courageous even when it's hard, we are reclaiming the parts of ourselves that they took from us. we are bettering the image of the region we love so dearly.

it is INCREDIBLY empowering now to settle into my accent. but it took a LOT of self-work, courage and self-respect to be able to do it.

it ain't easy. i do still struggle with it; i catch myself code switching all the time. i don't think you or me or any of us trying to reclaim our accents will ever fully escape the weight of the classism that dictated our manner of speaking for a huge chunk of our lives, unfortunately.

but if you do that difficult work, it is so, so liberating, family.

you can do it. talk to yourself when you're home alone. let the accent get comfortable again on your tongue. start there, then let that beautiful dialect out for the world to hear <3