#we have looked out the window together
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Playing Paranormal Investigators: Canine Edition and I really don't know how much effort I have to put in to convince Gamut that the ghost at the door is her cat brother, it is not that her cat brother fought the ghost off
#Nimblermortals Senf#we have looked out the window together#we have slowly opened the door to reveal the cat#we have shut the dog outside with the cat#but SHE knows to bark when she wants to come in and that if she keeps barking someone will come#and she will exercise that ability on behalf of her quieter brothers#so idk but I'd sure like to sleep through the night tonight#rather than be awoken to the spooky sound of fwippy fwippy fwippy fwip BOOWOOWOO
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literally the best part of this whole stupid book iwlove weird obsessed horndogs thee villain archetype of all time. he’s so silly. “we could’ve had a life together”, he says to his lesbian ex-neighbour who he’s just shot with a crossbow bolt meanwhile her girlfriend who he’s also just shot is half dead across the room. god i love it here he said me and the bad bitch im going to fumble
#WHAT A FUCKING FREAK IJBOL!!!!!!#MORE PSYCHOSEXUALLY OBSESSED WEIRDO VILLAINS PIXELBERRY I KNOW YOU HAVE IT IN U.#their villains are usually so cringe and one note at least this one is memorable#mind you this could have used more buildup. up until like chapter 19 he still had the benefit of the doubt#his ass was NOT beating the twist villain allegations but the fucking freak allegations were a whole separate beast#and he could be presumed innocent in those. like sure i guess these are just average fanatic werewolf hunter antics.#like EYE had my suspicions. him sending that frat bro to sexually harass mc was a fucking freak move#but like in general he was coming off as someone who was just a normal amount of concerned about a friend of theirs falling in w a cult#like girl why am i following my cringe fwb into the pool house to be all ‘babe this isnt u :(’#i dont CARE i wanna go engage with the twist antagonist who at this point my mc still thinks is kind of normal/their friend!!!#but alas that’s just pb for you. we WILL NOT stick a landing ever. they make all the new writers swear to never write a villain that makes#sense or is well foreshadowed. ONLY side characters who you would never suspect bc they have like 5 lines in the whole book.#like you’ll never be duffy veilofsecrets you’ll never recapture that magic.#anyway. markus choicesalpha the fucking weirdo cringefail stalker incel loser you could have been…kermit looking out rainy window dot png#maeve speaks#playchoices#choices#pixelberry#choices alpha#channing lowe#markus barnes#side note this whole thing probably has a Much different vibe with a male mc#but as it is it’s like ijbol. channing is cringe and emotionally unavailable but how could you POSSIBLY compare to a buff werewolf bitch#he is so completely not a contender that its comedic to me. you think WE could have had a LIFE TOGETHER?#even if my mc had never ever met channing SHE IS A LESBIAN!!!! SHES GAY DUDE STOP IT LOL#and with a female mc and male channing its like yeah whatever average incel number 10 billion. wow youre going to kill me bc some other guy#is hotter than you? eyeroll. at least channing canonically gives great head.
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not to brag about being good at my job but I’ve now developed two separate tools for debugging entirely on my own within my company entirely from scratch without help and A. it makes my job so much fucking easier and B. my boss is thinks im incredible just because im too lazy to want to write the same bits of code over and over just for debugging purposes
#unimportant thoughts#one i wrote 2-3 months ago#but i upgraded it this week to add in even more#and its just. perfect now.#given an id from any of the programs we built and run in our company#i instantaneously return everything about it#its name; what it does; what type of program it is; what server its run on; when it runs; where it connects; the parameters needed to#connect to wherever it connects; whether the program is currently turned on; the last 10 times the program ran; how many minutes each of#those runs took; how many files each of those runs created; whether those runs were successful; code snippets you can copy paste and run in#another window to look at the files created by each of those runs; the files created by the most recent run; thise file names; those file s#sizes; what types of files they are; whether theyre encrypted#how theyre encrypted#all of that and MORE#most of the information was already there but it took fucking 20 minutes to get all the information you needed#and you had to run a bunch of different snippets of code to get all the information and then put it all together#and now you can just fucking pop in the id of the program and .02 of a second later all the information is on your screen#AND IT MAKES MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER#so. so. so. much. easier.#and then this week I wrote another program so I can compare runtimes of two different runs of the same program together based on how we stor#runtime data in our database#csuse i was tired of going back and forth manually between to different runs to compare#so now i have a program that just takes the ids of two different runs and compares them#doesnt even matter if the checkpoints are different I programmed it to figure out the order automatically and plug in any missing holes#finds the differences in runtime automatically and flags the biggest differences#and I can even customize how much of a difference I care about or to hide things I don’t care about
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Don’t worry about those big fancy dates, the smart outfits, or the big expensive gifts. At the end of the day, the moments you look back at and remember with a smile are the days you stayed in your pyjamas whole day, cooked together and maybe accidentally burnt the food because you were dancing together to non-existent music, when you laughed so hard your stomachs hurt, and those little gifts that, to anyone else are nothing, but to the two of you are everything.
#literally#the things that have me falling asleep with a smile on my face are the moments we were close#not the moments we went shopping or went to dinner#I remember us fighting off a bunch of mosquitoes and laughing stupidly together#I remember falling asleep in each others arms#I remember when they reached out to me in their sleep and held me close#I remember kissing them and my lipgloss making their lips red#I remember laughing together and the most random things#I remember walking around in their slippers that are way too big for me#I remember one evening when the electricity was out we just sat cuddled up in front of the open window so we could look at the stars#wlw#wlw textpost#wlw concept#wlw concepts#wlw post#wlw blog#wlw pride#wlw mood#wlw sapphic#nblw#nblw blog#nblw pride#nblw textpost#sapphic#sapphic blog#sapphic pride#sapphic textpost#sapphic post#lesbian#lesbian post
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I always forget you've watched Doctor Who until you reblog a post about it
Gasp. It's one of my favourite shows! TARDIS is one of the few characters I've ever cosplayed as
#we had a tv themed event at school#i slapped some cardboard boxes together with duct tape and spray painted them blue#cut out windows to see from and covered them in light blue mesh (we didn't have white)#i can't share photos for internet anonymity reasons but it was beautiful#a very diy look#she's my favourite character in dw#anyway. i should reblog more doctor who stuff. we cannot allow this to keep happening
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lil hiatus away
#trump winning hit hard#harder than I thought because I didn’t think he’d win#we all met up the next day and had depression strolls#lots of vents and talks and anger#window shopped and actually shopped#looked at expensive guitars and little hamsters find fun in every place we go#we all made food with/for my niece and talked at my table for hours#played among us like old times till 1 am#got emotionally rejuvenated by the ocean#had plans with a friend that fell through so another time maybe or not idc anymore hahah she’s persistent though#I’m kinda over everything!#this 4:30 sunset always gets me bad for a while#on top of heavy world changes too like do that shit in summer#my dads friend Chris is visiting and that always makes me happy#I heard them cracking up watching South Park in his room last night was the cutest shit#reminded me of old times I miss living in Boston that whole era#wish we could have a redo#or even when he lived here with us after#maybe he'll move back this way someday#or go up that way since won’t ever be able to afford a house where I wanna live#or get out of the country all together#hiatus away was nice especially from Instagram and fb they're horrible places right now#unfollowing and unfriending everyone rn idc who u are#and honestly idky I still even have tumblr now I ask myself that a lot#more and more lately#have a good day#and take care of yourselves
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i am once again apologizing for my lack of activity/responsiveness
my childhood cat passed away a few days ago which has just been more stuff on top of everything else for me to deal with to stress me out and upset me
i'll try to get back to stuff. Eventually. as soon as i can</3
#mar.txt#still very much upset about losing him,but it's kind of faded for numbness now#still not holding up great though especially considering how sudden it was#he was all fine and healthy and then just suddenly started to rapidly go downhill and within like. two days he was gone#he was so weak. couldn't move almost at all,his meows were barely just meow-sounding exhales. the last two things he did were#getting my attention so i would come to him,then attempted to crawl onto my lap and despite me being less than a foot away he couldn't make#it. so i brought him onto my bed on my lap with me. and then at some point later after another sudden onset of diarrhea (which seemed to#take absolutely all of his remaining strength) and i'd brought him back to my bed after cleaning the poop off of him he got my attention to#move his head so he could look up at me. and that's how he passed. looking up at me.#despite everything,he was purring. so weak and faint i could hardly feel it,but. he was purring,maybe until the moment he finally passed.#he was obviously suffering. and we couldn't afford to get someone to put him down so we just did what we could for him.#i'm glad that,at least,he was happy in his final moments. he wanted to be with me and i'm glad i could give him that. i HAD needed to go out#that day but i opted to stay home because i was worried he'd pass while i was gone. sure enough if i had gone out he would have.#i'm glad i could give him the comfort and company he wanted in his final moments. i'm glad i made him happy enough in them to purr even#despite how weak he was. i'm glad he didn't pass alone and possibly in pain.#ive lost a lot of pets in my life. but amos? he's only like. three years younger than me? we practically grew up together. ive known him his#entire life. no amount of being told it hurts to lose a childhood pet will ever compare to the reality of it happening.#i buried him outside my window. so he's close to home.#vent post? i guess?
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#its so weird. i feel like march 5th went on for more than a day somehow. i guess that's just bc we were awake for just abt all of it#my dad wanted to start doing things immediately so he was calling and scheduling all day. we went to the funeral home we went to the store#and it was weird bc as we were moving around it was like wow we r a 4 person family now. this is it. and theres so much to do after a person#dies. or at least there is when they were loved so much and jesus christ my mom was one of the best ppl a LOT of ppl knew. she did so much#for so so many ppl. and with her childhood she had every reason to b a fuck up but no she was kind and selfless and amazing. her mother is#trying to bask in the attention of her death when its like: truely go fuck urself. her being such a good person has nothing to do with u. u#treated her appallingly. fuck off. and fucking everyone knows it. god. she is a product of her grandparents kindness. and it sounds like her#dad was amazing like her. but he tragically died in a car wreck when she was 3. she was in the car. no one in my mums family believes in a#god now. too many bad things happened to the shining gems in a collection of wild alcoholics. but its not all bad. my family's staying close#my dad is taking it hard bc this means hes alone now and my mum took care of so many things bc she was so smart and he feels so dumb. he#feels he didnt deserve her. hes working on giving more hugs now. and hes using us to anxiously talk things out the way he did with mom#which is good. i cant imagine if this happened when we werent 3 adults and he was windowed with 3 kids to raise himself. and its funny. were#saying things we never would have told her. we looked thru pictures of her and she was so so beautiful. a total smoke show. my parents were#a cute couple who produced cute kids. and my mom had trouble communicating and being affectionate tho we knew she loved us there was#distance. theres a pic of my dad pulling her close and shes being tippef towarf her while standing away and thats indicitive of their#relationship. they were 2 partners who lived together independently and that worked but its sad bc my mum couldnt b vulnerable in her#expression. ppl r being so kind tho. ill be in ohio now for like 2.5 more weeks as the funeral stuff shakes out. we have to have 2 bc she#grew up away from her and so many ppl loved her in both locations. she was a popular lady. its so weird to b here on pause. but i feel clear#in my head. i think this will change a lot of my outlook on life. its nice to focus on the person she was and not the horrible 12hrs where i#saw her half dead. i cant imagine how awful it was for my sisters and dad to see her downslide into death. she didnt expect this to b The#Fever that killed her but it did and now she'll never finish a million things. and the house is full of pill bottles and all her junk and#unopened amazon packages and a truck with the fuel left on empty. bc she was an absent minded goofball. ay. well miss her so much#unrelated
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Assorted Thoughts about the Greater Boston Season 4 finale
I'd assumed that Leon would 'move on' at the end of Season 5, the end of the podcast as a whole. But now we're going to have a whole season of the podcast without him. It's strange to imagine. There's never been a Greater Boston podcast without Leon Stamatis. There's never been a city of Red Line without Leon Stamatis. We began Season 1 confronting the gap that Leon left behind. We learned that he wasn't quite as gone as we might have thought, but there was still the loss, the grief, the consequences of his death. In an interesting narrative symmetry, at the beginning of Season 5 we'll have to confront him being more fully, completely gone. But I think we'll continue to see the ways in which his life and afterlife have rippled outwards.
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Immediately after Nica said Leon had brought people together "like a family", Louisa exclaimed that she needed to call Michael. I can't help wondering if it was Nica's comment that triggered that thought for Louisa. I'm emotional about Michael being family for Leon, Michael being family for Louisa, Michael being someone who was brought into Louisa's life by Leon…
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There were two moments of Nica and Dimitri sitting with Gemma in the middle of them holding the crystal ball. First, in the back of Lucia's car, when Nica reached out to touch the ball and Dimitri took her hand instead. Second, on the Ferris wheel as they prepared to say goodbye to Leon. Leon was in the middle between his two siblings - he is what divides them and he is what unites them. They held hands over him, finding awkward togetherness in the presence of their loss, stopping each from succumbing to that loss. Leon was in the middle between his two siblings, but he also wasn't; it was Gemma occupying that space for him.
On a related note, I can't help but wonder whether the Stamatis siblings had habitual positions when they'd sit in the back of a car together as children. I think that's a fairly common sibling thing, and it seems likely that it would appeal to the order-loving Leon. I can't decide if it makes me more emotional to imagine that they usually sat with Leon in the middle like that, or to imagine how they sat on that ferris wheel wasn't their typical childhood order.
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The lack of narration and the high number of monologues from a range of characters this episode meant that sometimes I wasn't initially sure whether a scene was an interview snippet from a real person or a monologue from a character. I think there's something significant in that blurring of reality and fiction, in real stories of loss mixed with the fictional. Those interviewees are a part of this story, or this story is a part of our world too.
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I loved Michael's mantra being spoken by the group, with each person taking one word. For Michael, that sequence of numbers was a way of asserting his own agency in spite of circumstances and his ideas about his nature. It was a way of saying 'my choices matter, even if I can't change the outcome'. And this moment showed how that idea can be upheld within through community and togetherness.
Michael spoke the word "Eight". And perhaps he wanted other people to take over, trusting that the people around him would complete his mantra, believing that they'd understand what he needed in that moment. Or perhaps he was intending to speak the mantra by himself until Louisa interrupted to support him. Either way there's a uniquely powerful kind of choice made against an indifferent world - the choice for people to stand against that world together. It's a contrast with Michael's often self-isolating tendencies for that mantra to become a shared thing.
#Greater Boston#Greater Boston podcast#I was going to make these into separate posts but I don't want to flood the tag or people's dashes#And I'll probably have more thoughts about this later#I listened to the last half hour of this episode on my way to work today#because I have not learned my lesson about being emotionally devastated by GB right before I need to do work#But anyway I mistimed it slightly so I had to take a bit of an extra walk around the block to experience the ending#Btw I thought about the Stamatis siblings maybe having habitual seats in the back of a car#because me and my brother have always sat on the same sides when we're in the back of a car together#For us it's the ghost of a sticker I had on the window of our family car when we were kids#That car is long gone but I still sit on the right in the back of a car#I imagine Leon might have been in the middle because Dimitri and Nica would want to look out of the window and would be more restless#And Leon was a generous big brother#Urgh the idea that he's properly past tense now 😭#greater boston spoilers#Greater Boston podcast spoilers#the empty man posteth
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I finished Dracula recently, and Mina says that (the young-looking) Dracula stalking a girl in London has very red lips, which reminds me that Jonathan said that the three vampire women have red lips. Jonathan had never described Dracula having red lips as far as I recall. Does this mean that their lips get red only if they've been feeding often? I guess that'd explain why the child-drinking women were young looking while Dracula was always old in Transylvania (minus the time Jonathan found him with (his?) blood and hit him with a shovel)? Sorry if the answers are obvious
He does have red lips all the way through though! This is what Jonathan puts down about him on the first night at the castle:
His face was a strong—a very strong—aquiline, with high bridge of the thin nose and peculiarly arched nostrils; with lofty domed forehead, and hair growing scantily round the temples but profusely elsewhere. His eyebrows were very massive, almost meeting over the nose, and with bushy hair that seemed to curl in its own profusion. The mouth, so far as I could see it under the heavy moustache, was fixed and rather cruel-looking, with peculiarly sharp white teeth; these protruded over the lips, whose remarkable ruddiness showed astonishing vitality in a man of his years. For the rest, his ears were pale, and at the tops extremely pointed; the chin was broad and strong, and the cheeks firm though thin. The general effect was one of extraordinary pallor.
This could mean he'd had a quick sip of a victim beforehand and maybe his lips paled out later and Jonathan didn't mention it, but I think it suggests that overall Dracula's kind of vampirism brings blood up to the lips for some reason. It's a similar situation when Lucy finally dies, with her normal unhealthy pallor suddenly turning rosy and 'lively' after death. It weirdly de-ghastly's people for some reason.
Alternatively, Dracula has a favorite lip lacquer applied (Artful Artery by Maybelline) and we just never saw that scene because Bramothy had to cut it. I guess we'll never know.
#honestly Dracula is one of a couple characters that audiences (including us Dracula Dailiers) kind of automatically redesign#Lucy gets full blonde or redhead despite her getting described as having sunny/shiny and then dark hair#Jack gets turned into a nerdy stringbean despite being described as having a strong jaw and a right hook powerful enough to stagger Renfiel#*Renfield#who also gets wildly varying designs despite being physically strong enough to tear out a window and wrestle Dracula for a minute#and Dracula isn't nearly as pointy as he make him out to be (bar the ears)#dude's got a lantern jaw to go with the rosy lips#I love all the variety of new looks we put together for the characters#but sometimes the original descriptions kind of get eaten by a pile of reduxes and redesigns#dracula#dracula daily
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My parents and I watched the season 3 finale of Star Wars: Rebels tonight and I can't believe my mom was the one who was like "WHY ARE THEY* ALL DYING?!" and I was the one being all, "don't worry I'm sure it will be fine." this is the most role reversal we have ever done.
(*to clarify I mean the rebels in general, the main cast was fine)
#star wars#star wars rebels#star wars rebels spoilers#what's really funny is that this season ended pretty much like 'the last jedi' did it with hardly anyone making it out#and them all crowded on the main iconic ship#and I HATED the last jedi#but like it just felt so much more HOPEFUL in rebels Idk man#also yeah I did make this post as a way to shamelessly react post in the tags#Idk even where to start#the first part of the finale was crazy man their leader literally CUT AN IMPERIAL SHIP IN HALF by ramming his command ship into it#like if you're gonna die doing a kamikaze run let it be by CUTTING ANOTHER SHIP IN HALF#and what the FUDGE is bendu WHAT was his deal even#kanan showing up yelling at him like merry with treebeard in the LOTR movies#'but you're a part of this world! aren't you?'#my mom was so mad at bendu for refusing to help akjghljasgdhfdgjags I'm over there like 'wait until they ACTUALLY ATTACK HIS PLANET'#and haha I was right#okay this is so silly but I'm so happy they didn't kill off agent callus that dude has really grown on me#he was doing his best thrawn's just insane with strategy#also THRAWN aklghfjaskgdls okay I LOVED his reaction to bendu being “?!?!? shoot it?!?!” *windows error noise*#man was foiled by his own underlings and angry force rafiki#HERA CALLING KANAN 'MY LOVE' OH MY WORD JUST *MARRY* EACH OTHER ALREADY YOU BASICALLY ALREADY ARE#'looks like the family's back together' STOP#the yavin base name drop#me through the entire space battle: do you know what we need right now? the battlestar galactica#just looked it up and apparently a star destroyer is actually not much bigger than a battlestar which is. FASCINATING to me#they'd be like the same class of ship#which tracks yeah#anyway#they did have a few ships get away so they did actually have a better success rate than in TLJ#but of course they had MANDALORIANS to help them out here so
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cannot stop thinking about yungi youth mv
#like what if i throw up#it's about the trauma and the tiredness and picking yourself back up and moving on it's about friendship and home#they lost sight of each other when they were so focused on themselves and their own shit#the shot of mingi in front of the mirrors where the center one is himself and the rest are yunho with his back towards him like !!!!!!!!!!!!#their old coping mechanisms not working#mingi used to use music to shut out the world so he could be alone but now it brings him back to yunho but yunho isn't THEREEEEE#yunho picked up his lore!brother's guitar bc it had been his dream before he died and he was grieving him but here he's smashing it on the-#-wrecked car the thing that took his brother away from him#and u can SEE yunho dancing in the burning house even in the 2 different sets u see flames through the windows#and mingi is watching the cabin burn alone until yunho walks into frame and we can breathe bc he's no longer trapping himself in that house#AND THE LOOK ON HIS FACE WHEN HE TURNS TO MINGIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII#IT'S LIKE. WE'RE BOTH HERE. WE MADE IT AND WE'RE STILL TOGETHER.#gonna puke. idk if anything i've said makes sense it's after midnight and my head is a jumble they just got me feeling a lot#it's about the loneliness it's about the grief it's about watching ur past in third person it's about returning to yourself in the present#mingi i love u forever and ever. his lyrics have always hit the hardest like he Gets me#god this is just such a fever era song so ofc i'm obsessed like the lyrics in that series just fuckin HIT#they talk abt how hard and lonely and scary and confusing and tiring it is growing up and i start thrashing and clawing at the walls#how wonderful to not only be alive at the same time as atz but to be the same age & have similar experiences so their music feels like a hug#like. i'm not alone huh#ANYWAY. did not come here with the intention of saying anything in the tags i was just gonna post that picture but alas#kara can talk
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had a weird moment today where i looked out the window and my sister's pet cat was staring at me through the glass
#it's a Little far for him to have walked but not you know#unheard of for cats to travel that much#(for context. no we do not live together.)#we're not actually talking tbh#idk what i did?? but apparently i am on the shitlist now#oh my heart bleeds#but yeah did not expect to look out the window and see him staring at me
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arasawa 'but are they You Know' can be so funny check this out. literally any scenario involving ichiban being nosy
#snap chats#in the funniest and most ironic way i can say it its like when someones kids really wants their parent to be happy for once#yk what i mean there's like two ways a kid meeting a stepparent can go Abject Horror and Joy#i dont have to say who the first one is. i will though masato wants to scream Why Is Everyone But Me Happy#no listen if you've been reading the essays being posted here the past week i don think ichiban hates jo#and on TOP of that i think ichi thinks jo would be happy if he and arakawa could have One Nice Night and ergo he wont be so MEAN#just no worrying about the clan ichi and everyone else has it covered you can totally rely on them <- no you cant#its like when your parents go on vacation and you comedically wreck the house by accident while theyre gone#but then you SOMEHOW get it all fixed up right before they get home. cat in the hat kind of bullshit#i just think they should have their brooklyn 99 moment. you know the one#'RESPECTFULLY captain you and the boss need alone time'#jo doesnt even get what hes trying to say until he looks at mitsu who looks about ready to jump out the window yk#like 'aniki PLEAAASE shut the fuck up you're gonna get us hit'#and its BECAUSE they arent together Like That that its especially like Put A Cork In It You're Insane#in the alternate timeline/scenario where jo Does like arakawa like that i think ichi should be annoying about it too#listen if arakawa is the only thing that prevents them from maiming each other then it'll be fine#ichiban please be the worst wingman imaginable while jo tells you to leave him alone#hes going to bottle his emotions and store it in his chest and it'll just sit and ferment there until he dies#like are we seeing the potential here. its awful i cant open any new canvases or word docs EW#maybe if i finished my fuckin SHIT..
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^ live footage of me rn
#friday chats#tw vent#not like a super terrible vent or anything i'm just. tired. and mad at myself.#so like a couple weeks ago i was given an assignment for my british lit class right?#to write a research essay based on one of the texts we've studied this unit. two weeks to do it. easy peasy. sure.#i figure that's plenty of time and leave it to work on my other homework (bc there's always other homework i'm an honors student)#oh wow lookie there it's due this weekend! great! so i start work on it#and then i can't find any research to bolster the question i'd formulated. it would have just been my own analysis#and we're required to have four sources. so that's that out the window.#the weekend passes and i'm officially in ''late assignment'' territory#and it's the last week before spring break so i'm swamped w/other work and midterm tests and everything#so yesterday my friend and i call to work on ours together (we always proofread each other's stuff/give each other pointers and whatnot)#and i'm just lost on what my essay should be about. any sort of question i could explore.#she has something of an idea for hers but not much. so neither of us get ours done#the assignment fully closes tonight#so we try again. i manage a half-hearted intro paragraph with zero direction and one source#and then i just hit a wall. the sources i'm looking at don't give me any new insights or ideas and i've got nothing#with two hours to the deadline. so i'm thoroughly fucked#i keep trying and just. yeah no not a thing. and if you notice the timestamp on this post it's past 12am#guess who didn't finish his essay 🙃#this is the fucking SECOND TIME THIS HAS HAPPENED. what the FUCK#fanTASTIC start to my spring break y'all. and the only way i can communicate the specific feeling i'm feeling is through a homestuck gif.#can i just sink into the earth. that'd be great#at least now that it's over i don't have to worry about it anymore. i mean there's the guilt obviously but i don't have to *worry*#God. my mom's gonna be pissed#if i follow this train of thought any further it's gonna fall down a spiral of responsibility and college and career stuff#and i don't want to deal with that right now#so i'm just gonna stop talking. and either go read an angsty fic and cry for catharsis or just go to sleep. we'll see#i hate getting all personal on the internet but i'd rather yell to the void than bottle it up so. here we are
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hoodie needs a haircut 😔
but he also vowed to have it long to remake like 50 different hair styles (they just look really cool alright mans gotta try something new) and then buzz it off and keep the severed hair (like he has done multiple times before yes hoodie has 4 hair bags around the home no theyre not for sale)
#the reason i started keeping hair because when i was child one day my mum was like you wanna cut it short like me? (bob cut) and i was like#alright im lazy washing so much of it and i got out of the emo tangled phase so lets try and then it was eco friendly so i kept havin it#below the ears— wait sidetracked come back so like the first time i chopped a bunch of length my mum was like how bout we keep it cuz it#looked cool like you had your hair so long and nice and i initially agreed cuz i was like oh i can sell it (ever the capitalist my 8 years#old self) only to find out afterwards that its really really bad to sell your hair like donating is fine but selling hair? thats really#unlucky and like bad omens and stuffs#and then after that i learnt about voodoo dolls - yep thats why i still keep my hair every time after that in case a wizard looked for#some voodoo making nope nope not risking it and then even when i grew out of the voodoo paranoia it was now the pandemic and we cut hair at#home and i was like i dont want to put it in the trash cuz how would i separate it it is recyclable or not idk so i kept them again and now#i have a chonk full of hair lil drawer under my bed together with shards of tempered glass i picked from a broken window(?) i found on the#streets by my house so if anyone got a nice ritual recipe incould try out with these ominous items i got drop it#personal#hoodin’t#<- ooc not /rp as a hoodie
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