#or go up that way since won’t ever be able to afford a house where I wanna live

[mer-se]

lil hiatus away

[kkcauseway]

Truths

Joel miller x younger f!reader

Summary I You babysitting Sarah is the norm. When you do so tonight it's so Joel can finally let his hair down and go drinking with Tommy- he's waited eleven months for it after all. You're already expecting a very drunk Joel to return home, and you're exactly right, but what you don't expect is the drunken confession that comes with it... Chapter warnings/content I age gap. Drunk Joel Miller, Joel being good at feelings for once because alcohol helps. Drunken confessions of love. Joel complimenting reader. So much flufffffffff gahhh! No outbreak, no use of y/n. A/N I Another of many cute drabbles that my brain decided to conjure up. I really hope you enjoy Joel being a sappy, in touch with his feelings guy when drunk.

Main materlist

You’ve baby sat for Joel since precious Sarah came into this world. As much as you know Joel would love to be a stay-at-home dad he can’t afford to be and so after taking two weeks off he looked for help and there you were. You’ve lived opposite Joel for years, he’s ten years your senior and has always helped your mom with the odd jobs that have needed doing round the house. This is your way to give back. More than happy to help him.

When he asked you last week if you minded watching her so he could have a couple beers with Tommy of course you said yes, who would you be to deny the man of that. You’ve been telling him for months that he deserves a night off. He’s the most selfless person on the planet he deserves to let his hair down and have a few hours off from parenting. His job is demanding and as much as Sarah is the best-behaved baby she’s still hard work.

He's waited a whole eleven months to go out, finally feeling ready enough to leave her on an evening and go let himself get jolly with his brother. You told him to get as drunk as he wanted, that you’d stay in the spare room, so Sarah had someone close at hand that was able if needed in the night. He was so appreciative of that.

With Joel and Sarah everything is so easy, you love helping out, getting to watch Sarah grow into the little girl she is becoming. Watching Joel be the best dad to her.

It’s around twelve that Joel makes it back, you had just stared to turn everything off and lock everything ready to go to bed when you hear the taxi outside.

“I’m backkk” he sings as he enters the house dropping his keys when he goes to lock the door from the inside.

You meet him at the door as he struggles to pick them up. “Here I’ll get them, go sit down” you laugh stroking a hand along his arm as he smiles up at you.

“Okay, thanks for always being so wonderful to me n’my f’mly.”

You can’t help but laugh at the way he slurs his words.

With the door locked and porch light now off you walk back to the lounge and find him slumped on the loveseat.

“Good night?” you question to his drunk sleepy frame.

“Such a good night, darlin’ thank you. I honestly can’t thank you enough for allowin’ me t’go. How’s my angel doin’ she get to sleep okay?”

“Out like a light, she had a bath then I read her a book and she’s had some warm milk. She fell asleep on my chest and didn’t even wake when I picked her up to put her to bed. Plus she hasn’t woke up since, I’ve been in to check on her twice she’s absolutely dead to the world, talking in her sleep and all, wonder where she gets that from” you jest.

He rolls his eyes with a scoff “one time, that was one fuckin’ time you heard me say some shit in my sleep when I was nappin’ and I ain’t never lived it down.”

“No, and you won’t ever, I mean your daughter can’t even talk properly yet and she’s fucking trying to string sentences together when she’s fast asleep, I say there’s no hope… she’s gonna be just like her daddy. Just like she is in every other damn way.”

“Well fuckin’ good luck t’her, why would anyone wana take after me.”

“Excuse me Joel Miller but we will have none of this negative talk thank you very much, I happen to think you’re amazing! And I can’t help but admire the way you are with Sarah. Honestly, I hope she does grow up to be just like you that will be so much fun!”

“You’re so beautiful, got such a way with words and know exactly how to make people feel better. You’re one in a million. Me and Sarah are more than just lucky to have you around. Thank you” he then bends to take off his boots.

You feel more than lucky to have them around too. You’re your happiest when you’re in their company. Spending time with them. Going on outings with them. If Tommy and Joel wana take Sarah out somewhere they always ask you to tag along especially now Tommy brings Maria. Maybe people think that Joel and you are in a relationship, that Sarah is yours. She definitely looks like she could be with her blonde hair and blue eyes that match your own. “Well I’m lucky to have you two too.” You reply with a big smile.

He chuckles as he struggles with his laces, and you watch the way his calloused fingers can’t get a grip on the knots, so you move to take them off for him as he looks up at you “you two too, that’s a tongue twister, you two too, you two too”

“You’re so stupid sometimes Joel Miller” you chuckle as you untie the laces.

“M’not” he pouts.

“You are, but I wouldn’t change you” you giggle having now taken off his boots and are moving them to their rightful place.

He laughs again as you make your way back to come and sit next to him. “ahhh, I like you darlin’” he sings letting his head fall back.

“Well I like you too, guess you ain’t too bad are yah” you giggle.

“No I-” he sighs sitting back up to look at you “I mean I really really like you; I want you to be mine.”

Did he really just say that?

“Wh- sorry what?”

“I want you t’be mine, forever”

“Joel you’re drunk” you chuckle.

“Yes, but I want you, I always want you every damn minute of every day. I can’t fuckin’ fault you baby you’re absolutely amazin’ at everythin’ you do, treat my daughter like she’s your own. Man I wana fuckin’ worship the ground you walk on for the rest of my life; I just can’t get over how amazin’ you are. And I’ve fallen in love with you.”

Fuck. Is this really happening?

“Joel” you stutter, “I don’t, I really don’t know what to say. I just, this is a lot” you move away from him slightly so you’re able to look him in the eye.

“I know you don’t believe me but s’true.” He mumbles as he leans toward you.

“Joel what are you doin?”

“Can I kiss you?”

“What?”

You’re surprised more so than anything that he’s actually asking permission. He’s pissed but still being a gentleman. That’s more than you’ve ever experienced before, but that’s how Joel has always been. Going above and beyond for the girls who mean so much to him in life. He respects women the way they should be respected.

“I wana kiss you so bad.”

“I don’t know if that’s a good idea Joel.”

“Please lemme kiss you, v’wanted to for so long. Just been too much of a pussy t’ever ask you.”

He leans forward more losing his balance, so you place your hands to his chest to push him back up “Woah, okay big guy listen, I’ll stay over tonight as planned just in case you or Sarah need me, but nothing’s happening, I’ll let it happen if you still feel the same way in the morning, okay? Now go to bed you need to start sleeping this off.”

As much as you want to believe what he’s saying you don’t know how much is the whiskey talking and the last thing you want is to embarrass yourself OR him.

He pouts but nods before standing from his seat and walking to the stairs staggering as he treks up. “I’ve already put you a glass of water on your bed side table, drink it please” you add.

He turns back to smile at you as you move to place his shoes by the front door. “Such a good girl” he utters as he staggers his way up.

It sends tingles through your whole body. ‘Such a good girl’ replays in your mind over and over as you find yourself eventually in bed falling asleep too.

—

When he wakes up, he wakes to the smell of coffee and that hasn’t happened in a long ass time. Plus he’s got a banging headache, but his heart is also going one hundred miles an hour.

That’s when it dawns on him- shit he told you the truth. He had a lot to drink, enough to make a fool of himself but not enough to forget and yeah, he did mean exactly what he said to you, and he will tell you that. He sits up in bed familiarising himself with his surroundings, the room still spinning slightly, he looks to his bedside table and finds the glass of water he downed last night refilled and some painkillers there waiting for him.

He smiles knowing that means you’ve snook your way into his room during the night to ensure he’s looked after. He quickly takes the tablets and downs the whole glass completely parched from last night’s shenanigans. His body shakes slightly but not from the effects of the alcohol, he’s nervous to face you.

After eventually dressing himself, he walks down the stairs watching you sat at the table feeding Sarah her porridge. Neither of them have noticed him and so he stands and watches for a minute before interrupting the bonding moment.

“Is that yummy?”

She shrieks in reply "yah!"

“Mmm yeah it looks sooo yummy, you’re such a pretty girl huh you want some more?”

“Mo!”

“Yeah, some more good girl you’re so smart!” You praise as you place another spoonful into her mouth. She’s always been quick at everything she’s already walking and she’s saying some words. She’s the smartest little girl and you’re so proud of her.

“She gets that from me.” He adds startling you. You jump in your seat.

“Jesus, you made me jump” you chuckle.

Sarah giggles at the sight of you jumping.

“Dada!” She calls.

“Hey babygirl, is that nice?”

She nods smacking her porridge covered chops together.

“How you feeling?” You quiz observing the way he squints at the light.

After pouring himself a coffee he comes to seat himself in the chair next to you. “Like absolute utter s. h. i. t”

“I bet, you were pretty out of it, said some crazy stuff last night.”

“I did?”

“You don’t remember?”

Of course he does but he likes this game “enlighten me.”

“Oh no, I wouldn’t want to embarrass you, you said some things, there was this one point where I actually kinda started to believe you, but I knew it was all the drink talking. I won’t embarrass you by bringing it back up.”

“Darlin.” It comes out almost like a stern warning, shutting up your rambling instantly.

“Yeah?” You reply softly.

“I know exactly what I said last night.”

“Oh, you do?” You drop Sarah’s spoon into the bowl as you stare at him.

“Yes, I do, and I meant everythin’ that I said. Absolutely every word.”

“Seriously?”

“M’deadly serious, I wouldn’t joke about somethin’ as important as this.”

You smile, “well that’s really good to know” and then you turn back to his daughter giving her another mouthful when she squeaks in annoyance of having to wait.

He sits on the seat next to you and admires your connection with his daughter. The way she reacts to you and just how natural you are with her. Your motherly instincts kick in instantly with Sarah and she’s not even blood. He’s been mesmerised by the way you handle Sarah since she’s been born, even back when Sarah’s mom was still around.

“Oh messy girl!” You coo when she puts her hand into her bowl and splashes it around.

“I got a plan” he grumbles as he places a hand to the small of your back sending goosebumps up and down your body.

“What’s that?” You quiz not taking your eyes off Sarah as you give her another mouthful.

“You and me Friday night, m’gonna take you out. I’ll get Tommy t’watch Sarah.”

You gasp at the feeling of him rubbing your back with so much care and in the fact that he’s going out of his way to take you out.

“We’ll go to that Italian you love. What do y’think?”

You turn to look at him with a smile. “I’d love that so much. Thank you, Joel.”

“My pleasure girl, just wana treat you the way you deserve and prove to you I want this and will always be in it one hundred percent as long as that’s what you want too.”

“It’s what I want.” You reply without hesitation, and he chuckles.

“Good.” He leans in placing a kiss at your temple and you close your eyes to savour the feeling of his lips on your skin for a few seconds before he pulls back away. When he does you both stare at Sarah who is looking back at you both with the biggest grin on her face. Showing off her few teeth.

You could get used to this being your life day in day out. You’ve already wished it were for months. And it seems it might actually happen now Joel has been truthful, you’ve hoped this would happen for a long time, have loved Joel for much longer than you care to admit, but it seems he’s felt the same and like you had just been too afraid to say something.

Bring on Friday night.

[peninkwrites]

Ok I’m having crazy thoughts about bird hybrids people have probably already discussed this CW for non-consensual body modification and mutilation but like. So, the idea that the bird hybrids have clipped wings to keep them on the island. Let’s say they arrived with clipped wings, and how that happened is missing from their memory like other stuff is. Flight feathers do grow back. For small birds it can take like 6 weeks? I think? Since these are yknow, people sized birds, let’s say it takes a year.

One year on the island, first it’s Jaiden. Cucurucho tells Jaiden it’s important because if they were to try to fly off the island they’d drown. It’s a matter of safety, see? And Jaiden trusts him, so she voluntarily goes to the federation hospital and allows them to clip her wings again. She trusts him. She doesn’t know why she feels sick, or afraid, because Cucurucho said it was the right thing and he’s her friend, right?

Let’s say with the more pesky bird hybrids, for Quackity and Baghera, they are drugged and taken and wake up with feathers already clipped away. Quackity is used to gaps in his memory by now, but he hates that he can see the visible change left behind, he knows what they did to him even if he can’t remember it. It’s not like he can remember a time where he could fly anyway. Baghera finds all this familiar in a way she can just barely name if not remember. At least they didn’t rip them out. That thought doesn’t stop her panic, blinding terror at something already done to her, all she can do is find somewhere to breakdown, wondering if as a child she hid like this as well.

Phil they save for last. Older, his wings bigger, it takes longer for his feathers to return, so they can afford to wait. Let’s say this is long since he got out of the birdcage. But he sees what happens to the others, and he knows they’re coming for him. It would’ve been far less cruel if they clipped all of the wings at once, no anticipation, no dread, no looks of pity from those already hurt knowing what’s coming for him. Phil doesn’t think he can stop the federation. But he’s going to make sure it’s not easy for them. He doesn’t want the kids there, he wants them out of harms way and he doesn’t want them to see this, so he leaves them with Bad. He doesn’t explain why, and then he gets ready. He could barricade himself in the safe room under the house, but he knows he’ll have to leave eventually and part of him fears the federation can get inside and he doesn’t want to be proven wrong, he wants to pretend the kids can still be safe somewhere, so instead he arms himself. He doesn’t ask for help, not because he doesn’t think they would, Etoiles, Fit, Forever, plenty of others, but he knows they won’t be able to save him. And he doesn’t want the indignity of all that struggle, friends by his side, to end with the same result. He cannot sleep, he’s convinced if he falls asleep he’ll wake up with it already done, so he doesn’t sleep, knowing every hour awake makes him weaker. He wonders if they’re waiting for him to get weak, he wonders if he can last long enough he’ll be able to fly when they finally shoot him down. He doesn’t know if there’s even a point in fighting back, he doubts it, but he’s going to do it anyway. What else can he do?

And don’t even get me started on the idea of declawing with Cellbit and Niki. Like. It’s mutilating part of their fingers. It’s permanent. Can you imagine the pain and resentment of your friends terrified to lose parts of themselves, but knowing at least theirs will grow back? Knowing even if they ever get off this godforsaken island they’ll never be the same? The federation can disarm the others, of course they have to make sure they can fully disarm Cellbit and Niki too (do we have any more cat people?? I might be behind but horrors for them too). Imagine for cellbit it’s a condition of joining the federation, one he didn’t know about. By the time niki arrives the federation is ready. She wakes up later than the others and she wakes up wrong.

Fuck.

[zoyalannister]

Gracetopher week 2024

Day 6: Grief

@gracetopher-week

Read on Ao3

I interpreted it in a very wide sense, meaning another sport!AU where no one dies, but after an injury Grace must say goodbye to her tennis career. 1216 words

Her husband was with her when she left the hospital, but his presence didn’t reassure Grace like it normally would have done.

Grace still needed a crutch to walk, and Christopher offered his arm to help her, but what hurt her most wasn’t her knee when she accidentally put her foot down, or her pride for needing assistance at every step. 

It was what the doctors had told her, which still stung like a punch in the gut. 

You’re never going to play tennis anymore.

She was just twenty-five, but the last seven years had been wonderful for her career. She’d started taking part in minor tournaments, and a few months ago, she’d started qualifying for the semi-finals of the most important slams.

Last year, she’d won two of them.

Now, she would never go on a pitch anymore.

The thought always reduced her to a crying mess. 

Before her injury, she’d signed with sponsors for the next ten years; now, they had all abandoned her, since she could no longer meet their requirements. Thankfully, she’d married Christopher last year, or she would have never been able to afford the wedding without the sponsors’ money. 

“Do you want to talk?” Christopher asked her after he’d helped enter their car.

Grace ignored the pain shooting through her knee and up her leg and shook her head. “No.”

Christopher said nothing. He knew that pushing her to talk would only be counterproductive, so he just walked to the driver’s seat and turned on the engine. 

For the whole ride, Grace couldn’t stop thinking about her lost career and mulling over the things she’d lost.

Her sport, a good part of her identity, her glory, her promise to herself to finally win Wimbledon next year, money…

When they stopped in the driveway of their luxurious house, Grace felt a wave of panic and anxiety raising in her chest.

“Are you feeling sick?”

She met her husband’s worried expression. Despite all her negative feelings, she was grateful to have someone worrying over her.

Grace knew she could share her concerns with him, so she blurted out, “I’m thinking about how we are going to pay the mortgage now that my career is over.”

Christopher grabbed her face in his hands. The contact with her husband’s body and his violet eyes staring at her calmed her down, as they always did.

“Don’t worry about it right now, we have enough savings for a few months. The important thing is that you are getting better and will soon recover. We will think about money when it’s time to think about money.”

Grace nodded and let him kiss her, but it took all her willpower to stop herself from taking her phone and checking her bank account. She let her husband help her walk towards their house, where she knew Kit’s family was waiting for them.

She loved the Lightwoods and Ari more than she’d ever loved Tatiana and considered them her real family, but she was in no mood of meeting anyone. 

She didn’t want to see the pity look in their faces when she announced to them that she would never go back to playing tennis, that she’d lost everything she’d ever worked for. 

Grace wasn’t ready to tell herself that her career had been like a hay fire, bright but incredibly short, let alone saying it out loud.

“I want to go to the back garden,” she blurted out.

Christopher looked at her for a moment, but he understood. 

He always did.

“You will find something else,” he murmured as he guided her. 

Grace glared at him. She would like to say that it was just her physical pain making her act that way, but in truth, his words irked her. 

“Not now,” he said in reply to her expression. “But… I’m sure you’ll find another thing besides tennis and get back on your feet.”

“Is this a joke?”

Christopher blushed. “No, sorry for the bad wording. I just think this injury won’t be the end of you.”

Grace stayed silent, despite she was already regretting her snappy reply. 

He helped her walk towards the back garden, where there was a little tennis court where they played with the family on Sundays.

Grace sat on an armchair on the side of the pitch, while Christopher disappeared into their house. She felt a vague sense of guilt at the idea of leaving him the responsibility of explaining her condition to his family, but she knew that she would fall apart if she had to do it herself.

She took her phone from her handbag and texted Christopher to bring her a gin tonic.

Isn’t it going to interfere with your medicines?

Christopher’s carefulness always made her feel cherished, but right now, she only felt a bolt of annoyance. He was right, of course, but she hated hearing it when she just needed to forget all her sorrows for a few hours.

Get me a coke then.

Grace regretted her own brisk tone as soon as she’d sent the message and immediately added, Please.

Christopher didn’t reply, but arrived ten minutes later with a glass of coke and a beer for himself. 

“I’m sorry for how I’ve been acting since we left the hospital,” she said when he sat next to her. “This is a bad situation, and I shouldn’t lash my frustrations out at you.”

He took her hand and kissed it. “I forgive you. I understand that you’re having a terrible time, but we’ll get through it together.”

Grace wondered, not for the first time, what she had possibly done in her life to deserve such a wonderful husband.

“I wish I shared your same optimism,” she breathed out. 

Whatever Christopher was going to reply, he was stopped by the arrival of Alex, his thirteen years old brother, in t-shirt, shorts and holding a racquet.

Christopher glanced at her before addressing his brother. “Alex, it’s not the time—”

“No, let him play,” Grace interrupted him. “Looking at him playing will distract me.”

“Are you sure?”

The fact he was worried about her being hurt even more by watching tennis reminded her why she loved him. 

“Yes,” she reassured him, then warned Alex, “If you send the ball to the neighbors’ garden, you’ll go talk to her yourself.”

“Yes. Thanks, Grace,” Alex said, and launched himself into a solo match.

Curiously, watching him didn’t turn off Grace’s brain. On the contrary: it set it on fire. 

She was so focused watching Alex’s moves that she barely noticed Christopher going back inside to get some snacks. Grace took a mental note of everything she saw, and after ten minutes, she yelled to attract Alex’s attention. When he looked at her, she told him, “Your posture is all over the place, you have to keep your back straighter and bend your knees more. Your swing should be more natural.”

Alex stared at her for a second, then did what she’d told him, and she could see the results immediately.

“Wow, thanks Grace! That was very helpful!”

Grace smiled, and not only for Alex’s progress. 

Christopher was right: her life wasn’t over just because she couldn’t play anymore. She could still go back to the court, but not as a player.

As a coach.

[mintiicinnamonii]

stayed gone: a forest town oneshot

Slash walked through the elaborate mansion, chandeliers glistening in the moonlight as the villa’s temperature dropped whenever they walked through the halls. Their red eyes glowed with a constant icy hatred for the world as their boots clicked on the marble, red hair flowing behind them like a ribbon to a dancer. 2 guards were standing in front of an elaborate door, where loud, raspy laughter was heard frim the other side. Slash casually walked through, remaining undetected. Being a demon had its perks. 

The bedroom was amess, with wrappers and old discarded clothing (of which / could have never been able to afford in her alive days…) A show played on the wide-screen television that cost the same as 3 houses, and on the couch is just who Slash was looking for. “Oh Eric, you must be back with my— W-WAIT A MINUTE!” Lou Jitsu- no, Hamato Yoshi looked over to Slash, who was standing scarily straight near the door. “You aren’t Eric.” The action star blinked, rubbing his eyes. “Ya think old man?” Slash said, pulling a cigarette out of nowhere and smoking, the fog that came out when you exhaled in cold weather rising up instead of smoke. “Oh. It’s you.”

Slash crossed their arms, staring at Lou icily. “Drop the disguise already you coward. Did you really think tou could escape your destiny as a Hamato? Not anymore, you hear? (redacted for spolier reasons) won. They destroyed Seclouth. So you better quit your horseplay, Splinter. Fulfill your destiny.” Lou Jitsu couldn’t even comprehend what happened before his facade faded in a swirl of icy ninpo. Not as just Lou Jitsu the movie star, no, that had disappeared the second Slash walked in; but as Hamato Yoshi the human. Splinter narrowed his beady rat eyes. 

“I run the Hamato Clan now, so let me be clear; they hurt your kids.” Splinter blinked, as if he didn’t believe what he just heard. “I am not joking; this is serious. We have to tear those pests LIMB FROM LIMB. Get them back in line like the weaklings they are.” Slash spat, balling their transparent and scarred hands into fists. Half of their face was contorted in anger while the other side was paralyzed and motionless, as a result of the gruesome way they’d died. “We have to make sure they have no hope left in their miserable lives, tell them that the Hamato Clan will never lose.” Splinter didn’t seem convinced, so Slash stepped closer, wintery fog from the cigar blowing in the rat’s face. As the rat coughed, Slash tossed their cigarette in the trash. “A simple reminder that while you’re here filming action movies and going to banquets, all your children, especially Leo,” Slash said, growing angrier. “Are trying so hard to redeem all of these people who already blew their shot. So if you want this paradise, then you better get the hell up and pay the price for your actions.”

And then Splinter laughed. Raucous, wheezing laughter. “Back over there, I’d rather not. We made a deal, yokai spawn. You get to take revenge on the gang that killed you, and I get to be Lou Jitsu again.” He said, standing up. “The idea of going back up there is unappealing and foolish. Do you really think you can threaten me? I’m the one alive here.” Slash gritted their teeth. “You won’t be if you don’t..” Splinter cut them off. “I’ll go back to my show now, kid. You’re distracting me.” He sat back down, making a ‘shoo’ gesture. Slash’s eye twitched. “What?” 

“May I remind you, I’m a celebrity. No matter if you lead this clan, or made a deal with me, I am more powerful than you will ever be. You aren’t even a full Hamato. You’re half yokai, a Draxum at that.” Splinter said ‘Draxum’ with some sort of snobbish disdain. Slash’s blood boiled, room dropping a solid 4 more degrees as Splinter shivered. Slash stormed up to him, looking as if their entire physique went sharp as ice. “Oh, I’m sorry, your highness, since when was being a cheap action star a higher rank than a Baroness?” Slash inhaled sharply, room returning back to normal temperature as they walked away from the dangerous distance she was from Splinter’s face. “But go ahead. Fine! I’ll do this the Draxum way.” Slash coldly walked out, boots clicking on the tile as she once again going under the guar’s radar as Splinter sat down and resumed his cartoon. 

“A Draxum, huh? I’ll show you how us Draxums really get things done.”

(link to fic if yall want: https://archiveofourown.org/works/49123036)

[cfs-crohns-colitis-warrior]

Fuck DWP and the benefits system. It’s so ducked up. Can’t have more than £6000 in savings or my benefits start to go down, so how am I ever supposed to save for anything? This includes having an ISA where the money can only be used to buy a house or for retirement.

I mean, I get they can only do so much and stuff, but the way everything is laid out is just so fucked up. It takes forever to even get benefits and a lot of people who need the give up trying to get them because it’s so damn difficult and there’s so many hoops to jump through.

I want to start my own business to try and earn a little so I don’t have to completely rely on benefits, but apparently the business account amount also counts towards my savings, which is ridiculous to me because it’s not my money, it’s the companies money. Sure, I own the company, but the money in that business account would purely be for reinvesting in the business, for buying more stock and materials. If the money were to be transferred to my personal account then it’d be mine, cause it’d be my wages, not that it would even be much. I just think it’s stupid.

Then there’s the fact that when I’m able to move in with my boyfriend, I don’t get treated as a separate person. It won’t be my savings only that affect my benefits, it’ll be our savings so I probably won’t get anything at all, which is insane because I can’t expect my boyfriend to pay for absolutely everything, all by himself. I need to be able to split the bills, especially since the majority of power used will be used by me since I’m always home. I need to be able to help pay for the food we eat and for my own stuff like my toiletries and any kind of entertainment I use to get me through the day so I’m not mindlessly staring out the window depressed all day because I can’t work. I can understand they want to take your partners earnings into account, but I should still be treated as an individual person. Sure, if I were to move in with a millionaire, done give me benefits, because as much as I’d like to be able to pay my own way with stuff it would be ridiculous to claim benefits while being with someone rich who can afford to pay for everything, even if you should be able to pull your own weight, which you would be doing if you were able to work properly. Unfortunately my boyfriend is not a millionaire (though I wouldn’t change a thing, I love him to pieces), and therefore will not be able to pay for everything all by himself. If I don’t get any benefits and I struggle running my own business, either in terms of sales or I’m terms of energy to keep it running in order to make anything to sell, then I’m stuck with nothing coming in and having to rely solely on my boyfriend, and that’s so unfair.

We need to be able to save for a house so we can live together. We need to be able to have savings in case anything goes wrong, like the boiler breaks or we have to pay for something in an emergency. We need to be able to pay for food, to pay the bills, to pay for the car for getting around, to pay for insurance etc. There’s so much stuff you have to pay for, and to have two people relying on one income that is only suitable for one person isn’t right.

Sorry, rant over, I just had to complain somewhere. Money is stressing me out and I’m worrying about the future and how we’ll manage everything. I want to enjoy the now but I’m just so stressed about the future and trying to plan things out it’s just not going that way at the moment. Fingers crossed my health improves and I can either get a normal job again or I can have enough energy to make my business a success and actually earn decent money to contribute to everything we want to pay for in the future.

Wishing everyone well and hoping things improve for everyone asap, especially for people struggling with their health, money, any struggles they’re currently facing tbh. I wish the world were a better place.

[sanguinifex]

Why you should McFucking Vote Democrat, because Biden is a bureaucratic genius

Ok so like. Bureaucracy is where the fiddly bits of how laws actually work happens. It’s anonymous, unthanked, very hard-working people in cubicles and terrible polo shirts who have to use the worst software ever invented. They’re the ones making and using the spreadsheets for “do you qualify for XYZ or not.”

Biden knows the House Republicans won’t let him pass any new laws worth jack, so his solution is to fine-tune the bureaucracy and its application of existing laws. It’s freaking genius. While a Republican president could technically reverse these reforms, in practice they mostly won’t, because it’s boring procedural spreadsheet stuff and not big flashy new laws banning things. The Republicans aren’t even going to notice half the things he’s fixing.

It is, I reiterate, absolutely genius. Biden’s DHHS has requested that cannabis be downscheduled to the level of prescription cough syrup, he’s stopped disability discrimination in organ transplant decisions and custody decisions, he’s reinstated VA benefits for people were discharged from the military for being queer (which means so much less medical bills for them, and access to prescription drugs including HIV meds), he’s the first president to join a picket line, his FTC appointee is suing Amazon for being a monopoly, union-busting is now punishable by being forced to recognize the union, as VP he was heavily involved in the Affordable Care Act, better known as Obamacare…and that’s just what I can remember off the top of my head while completely exhausted. For those worried about his age, he’s obviously still smart as a tack based on his bureaucratic strategies, and if something were to happen to him, Harris is similarly competent and similarly well-versed in bureaucracy, and she’d make similar policy decisions if in office.

Like, Biden is implementing very similar reforms to what I’ve always wanted, and in pretty much the exact same ways I’d do them. It’s to where I’d vote for him in a primary now. It’s all very well to say “Medicare for All,” but then how do you implement it? And I think Biden is the kind of person who’d have a real answer to that, and more importantly, know exactly who to call on to work out the bits that aren’t his area of expertise, such as “how many computers, servers, and new hires would CMS need to accommodate a quadrupling of beneficiaries?” Or to write the changes to tax code (such as eliminating the income cap on Medicare taxes) to fund said influx.

Compare and contrast Trump’s absolute debacle of his pet border wall. Or his muslim ban. Or covid. Like, the only good thing that came out of his presidency was the increase of the standard deduction for personal income tax, and then that later inadvertently screwed over people working from home during the pandemic because they couldn’t deduct the new home office supplies like desks and office chairs that they had to buy.

Also compare and contrast how quickly 2021-2023 have passed by, compared to how 2017-2020 seemed to drag on forever. I know that, even with Russia’s invasion of Ukraine threatening to turn into WW3, I’ve had distinctly less fear of nuclear escalation during Biden’s presidency than during the Orange Turd’s.

Finally, consider what Biden will be able to do once he doesn’t have to worry about getting elected again. Yes, healthcare reform. Employers currently pay the largest share of health insurance costs for people under 65, and those costs have been going up, largely due to insurers’ and for-profit providers’ price-gouging. Said employers are increasingly upset about these costs, to the point that they would likely be willing to opt for single-payer if the state or federal taxes to support it were, say, 80 or 90% of what they’re currently paying in insurance premiums—which would probably be the case, that or less, since CMS would negotiate lower costs, probably no more than 200% of regular Medicare rates. I can tell you for sure that Aetna is paying hospitals 5 times that, and that extra cost is reflected in premiums and (for self-funded plans) in claims, which employers have to pay.

Will the combined lobbying forces of industry giants like Walmart, Amazon, Boeing, Sitel, AT&T, etc. outweigh the opposing lobbying forces of UHC/ OptumRx, Aetna, Blue Cross, CVS, Walgreens, the legion third party administrators, and for-profit medical groups?

Well, we won’t find out unless you vote Democrat next November! Because Biden is a genuinely progressive and competent president and I’d like to keep him, and no one with a single sane braincell wants the other guy. The other guy will probably get us into WW3 and turn it nuclear. Please register to vote, and then actually vote.

[kim-poce]

11: No God In Town: Lie

On Patreon (two weeks earlier release)

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Humans are liars.

They lie since young, it’s natural and quite incomprehensible. I didn’t know lie; it’s not within my instinct and with the followers… Well, it took me a very long time to find out lying is possible, and even longer to learn how to do it, once that the followers knew my inhuman expressions by heart, they knew me better than I knew myself, they seem to be born with lies in them, but to this day I’m still not completely familiar with lie.

The cubs are lying. It causes me a strange feeling, I knew they were hiding something from me, they aren’t really good at pretending otherwise, and lying shouldn’t be that different. It feels different though, the first feels right, the second feels like betraying. Betrayal? Of what trust? I really shouldn’t have allowed them to stay. I really should just tell them to go back to the changed town, where rude and loud guards are looking for them while cursing. It was safer to just order them out, but I won’t, will I?

“Good morning, Biggie,” the cursing cub greeted with a nod as I left my room, “the others are looking for herbs nearby, since it has been raining a lot lately they want to hoard some up. I’ll be cooking today.”

“Good morning,” I said. “You cooking is a first.”

“Yeah, I don’t usually get indoor tasks,” she shrugged. I wonder if this has something to do with the wound on her leg that she has been hiding for a couple days already, “Danny says that I should know how to cook well in case I find myself alone. I can’t disagree with that, so here I am.”

“Make sense,” I nodded. The times changed but human needs didn’t. “It’s important to learn how to feed yourself.”

I could feel the traces that people were there not long ago. One trail led to the cursing cub in the kitchen. She was used to the fire tool now, and was putting a pot of water on the oven. The second trail led to the back door, the flower cub probably had gone there first thing in the morning. Two trails went out the front door, the boys most likely left together.

It was the fifth trail that caught my attention, though. It was weaker, going out the back door, the human that left it behind was gone for one hour maybe. Four cubs, five trails; this will be troublesome.

“Did you bring someone else here?” I asked, laying down the only attempt to talk it out that I was willing to take.

The cursing cub paused for a second and said “Of course not, that’s not our house.”

I nodded. She was lying, I hoped she wouldn’t but if they wanted me to know the truth they wouldn’t have hidden it in the first place. I don’t blame them for lying; they are humans, it’s just their nature, so I’m sure they will understand when I doubt all of their words in the future.

The other cubs came back, and we had breakfast; fruits and soup. I don’t know the breakfast culture in this town, but I wonder if soup this early is common or not. No. I don’t wonder anything, because I don't want to have any ties with humans, they can eat whatever for all I know.

The cubs didn’t leave; they stopped going down the town for over a week now. They must be using my cabin to hide from the guards. I wonder how long it’ll take for the guards to lose interest in them, it’s not like they are at war; they can afford to let things go.

The next morning all the cubs were inside when I left my room, the trails all over the place, and another one, almost vanishing, trail is again leading to the back door. I didn’t ask anything, and just ignored it all day, even during the sewing lessons with everyone.

On the fourth day in a way I decided to interfere, I could just force the memories about this strange person so hard on the cubs that they would not be humanly able not to talk about it, but it would be mean, that’s an extreme way that I won’t ever try with any of them.  I could put them to sleep and follow the trail, though, and so I did.

There was a weak physical trail leading to the forest behind the cabin. I would guess it’s an animal trail if I didn’t know, both the invisible and the visible trail were hard to follow, it wasn’t like this was meant to be followed, and in the forest human and other animals’ trail are all over, it’s easy to follow the wrong lead.

After sixteen minutes and a half I found him. It was a young boy, younger than the cubs I’m housing. White skin, uncommon in this country and even more in this town, long straight black hair, I don’t recognize him from the cubs I met in the town either. He leaped in surprise when I stopped erasing my presence, but froze right after, shaking and looking up at me with his light blue eyes and kneeling. There was a floating golden circle around his neck, invisible to any human eye but so clear to one of me. A Blessing.

A follower. I froze at the realization. The cubs are bringing a follower home.

—

@extemporary-username, @the-magpiesystem, @nexfox-art, @kathea, @wolfeyedwitch, @blu-jay-2779, @rose-pinkie, @latenightcupsofcoffee

[icequeen1371]

I talked to my mom at 5 o’clock last night at the hospital to see how he was doing. And to let her know that her other spawn was on his way to be with her for a few days. Then I called her at 8:30 because I know that’s when she gets home from visiting hours. She mentioned nothing of it. She mentioned having a glass of wine with her other spawn. Then I get a phone call this morning, and she asked me, “just calling to see how you guys are handling the news” she didn’t even remember she had told me yet. Her short-term memory is bad enough, but when she stressed out or upset tired it’s really bad. She totally forgot, telling me last night that he passed away. Didn’t even say anything. Like that’s kind of a big piece of information even though you have short-term memory loss. You know what I mean? I’ve kind of been walking around in days all day. We were literally going down to see him tomorrow and visit because we knew maybe there was a chance. What if he had another stroke and passed away. We didn’t know that things were that dire. And I really hope that his daughter didn’t know how bad it was he didn’t tell us. I’ll never forgive her for that. The first thing that my youngest said was, “I didn’t get a chance to say goodbye. Those two were like to be in the pot ever since she was born. She hasn’t seen him since November. Ashley, I think it might be October or September. he couldn’t drive anymore with his dementia, he was not having very many good days where mom could bring him in without him, having an episode and us seeing it. She’s been dealing with a lot the past two years. All on her own. No one care, no family members, knowing how bad it was, nothing. I don’t know how she did it. Because the house was left in his sons. I’m not sure how long they’ll let her stay in the house before they tell her they want to put her up for sale. Not that she can afford to say they’re on her own regardless. Then with me on disability, I’ll get cut from disability if she moves in with me. And because I’m disabled, I wouldn’t be able to really care for her anyway. I don’t have the means or the vehicle or the physical ability. If anything happens God forbid. She doesn’t want to live with her other spawn eight hours away because she wants to be close to me. And she doesn’t want to move to Newfoundland because that’s really too far away. Although, I think it would be great. However, None of her family has even mentioned anything about it. No one has offered. Can you believe that shit? They assume she’ll be fine or being in a home or something. Meanwhile, they won’t accept her home because she’s physically in fantastic shape. It’s just shorter memory issues. That’s it. She can’t afford to be home anyway. She doesn’t have the money neither I. So I’m not sure what’s gonna happen for now we’re just trying to figure out how to get through the upcoming view at the end of the week or this weekend. And then I’m gonna have to put some kind of plan in order so she doesn’t feel so alone in the weeks afterwards. Ppl say those are the hardest. I wish I could ff to July or August. That’s 5 family members in 4 years. It’s been a lot.

[thelistingteammiami]

Why You May Want To Seriously Consider a Newly Built Home

Why You May Want To Seriously Consider a Newly Built Home

Are you putting off your plans to sell because you’re worried you won’t be able to find a home you like when you move? If so, it may be time to consider a newly built home and the benefits that come with one. Here’s why.

Near-Record Percentage of New Home Inventory

Newly built homes are becoming an increasingly significant part of today’s housing inventory. According to the most recent report from the National Association of Home Builders (NAHB):

“Newly built homes available for sale accounted for 31% of total homes available for sale in November, compared to an approximate 12% historical average.”

That means the percentage of the total homes available to buy that are newly built is well over two times higher than the norm. And even more new homes are on the way.

Recent data from the Census shows there’s been an uptick in both housing starts (where builders break ground on more new homes) and housing completions (homes where construction just wrapped).

And while some people may worry builders are building too many homes, that isn’t a concern – if anything, the recent increase is really good news. As Lawrence Yun, Chief Economist at the National Association of Realtors (NAR), explains:

“Even more home building will be needed with the housing shortage persisting in most markets . . . Another 30% rise in home construction can easily be absorbed in the marketplace . . .”

How This Helps You 

Since the supply of existing homes for sale is still low right now, the increase of new-home construction can be a game changer because it gives you more options for your search.

Picture yourself in a home that’s new from the ground up: new appliances, fresh paint, fewer maintenance needs because everything is new, and so much more. Doesn’t that sound nice?

And it may be more within reach than you ever imagined. In addition, some builders are offering things like mortgage rate buy-downs for homebuyers right now. This can help offset today’s affordability challenges while also getting you into your dream home. In a recent article, Patrick Duffy, Senior Real Estate Economist at U.S. News, explains:

“Builders have been using mortgage interest rate buydowns for many years as a sales incentive whenever interest rates are relatively high, . . .Today more builders are offering rate buydowns for the entirety of the loan, allowing buyers to finance more home for the same payment amount.”

Just remember, the process of buying from a builder is different from buying from a home seller, so it’s important to partner with a trusted real estate agent who knows the local market. They’ll be your go-to resource for coordinating with the builder, reviewing contracts, and more.

Bottom Line

If you’re trying to sell so you can make a move but you’re having a hard time finding a home you like, let’s connect. That way you have a local expert to help you explore all of your options, including the newly built homes in our area.

[28northgroup]

Why You May Want To Seriously Consider a Newly Built Home

Are you putting off your plans to sell because you’re worried you won’t be able to find a home you like when you move? If so, it may be time to consider a newly built home and the benefits that come with one. Here’s why.

Near-Record Percentage of New Home Inventory

Newly built homes are becoming an increasingly significant part of today’s housing inventory. According to the most recent report from the National Association of Home Builders (NAHB):

“Newly built homes available for sale accounted for 31% of total homes available for sale in November, compared to an approximate 12% historical average.”

That means the percentage of the total homes available to buy that are newly built is well over two times higher than the norm. And even more new homes are on the way.

Recent data from the Census shows there’s been an uptick in both housing starts (where builders break ground on more new homes) and housing completions (homes where construction just wrapped).

And while some people may worry builders are building too many homes, that isn’t a concern – if anything, the recent increase is really good news. As Lawrence Yun, Chief Economist at the National Association of Realtors (NAR), explains:

“Even more home building will be needed with the housing shortage persisting in most markets . . . Another 30% rise in home construction can easily be absorbed in the marketplace . . .”

How This Helps You 

Since the supply of existing homes for sale is still low right now, the increase of new-home construction can be a game changer because it gives you more options for your search.

Picture yourself in a home that’s new from the ground up: new appliances, fresh paint, fewer maintenance needs because everything is new, and so much more. Doesn’t that sound nice?

And it may be more within reach than you ever imagined. In addition, some builders are offering things like mortgage rate buy-downs for homebuyers right now. This can help offset today’s affordability challenges while also getting you into your dream home. In a recent article, Patrick Duffy, Senior Real Estate Economist at U.S. News, explains:

“Builders have been using mortgage interest rate buydowns for many years as a sales incentive whenever interest rates are relatively high, . . .Today more builders are offering rate buydowns for the entirety of the loan, allowing buyers to finance more home for the same payment amount.”

Just remember, the process of buying from a builder is different from buying from a home seller, so it’s important to partner with a trusted real estate advisor who knows the local market. They’ll be your go-to resource for coordinating with the builder, reviewing contracts, and more.

Bottom Line

If you’re trying to sell so you can make a move but you’re having a hard time finding a home you like, connect with a local real estate advisor to explore all of your options, including the newly built homes in our area.

[revengeoftheblogger]

No Hard Feelings was good. Definitely better than Licorice Pizza (if we’re comparing age-gap “relationship” movies.)

I liked so much about it but then I just hate the idea that she has to leave the place she’s lived her whole life to…move forward in life, etc. Not that that’s not what some people need, and maybe exactly what that character needed, but to act like her central problem was living where she was born? Montauk is extremely coveted real estate as was made super obvious in the movie. So she leaves one gorgeous place on the water to….go to another unaffordable place on the water? How is CA supposed to be better for her than Long Island? If I had a house in Montauk I would never leave. It’s fucking incredible. (ignoring my preference for the east coast and hatred, in general, of the idea of living in CA (well, LA mostly, but most of CA is not for me)).

I just really enjoyed so much of the movie but everyone acting like having roots where you grew up is a bad thing? Just fucking bothered me so much.

Maybe there’s nothing for her there anymore and she needs to go somewhere exciting and new. But the focus on “you’re never going to leave/get out of here” vs. “you’re suffocating here,” etc. If the focus was more on her needing to move on rather than just leaving Long Island…… idk.

It’s hard for me to articulate. But something about the framing/focus of it or….just maybe the belief people have that you have to leave where you grow up not to be a failure. Are people born in NYC or LA expected to move somewhere else? Probably not as much, right?

Her selling a property that’s idk…worth millions? to her shitty friend was supposed to be sweet I think… she saves the house, a local family lives there (why don’t they have to leave in order for their life to have meaning? Because they’re having a baby and that means they’re good enough? Hitting the right milestones?).

I really liked her friendship with the kid. They were really good for each other and really brought out the best in one another (until his character also jumped on the “living where you grew up makes you a loser” train….)

I feel like it’s a fundamental society issue. But also like. I think her character needed to see the world, sure. Get out more…. But what. She’s going to travel and then if she ever wanted to come back home she can’t now because she won’t be able to afford a home there anymore. And then unlike her shitty friends she’ll have to move to Florida or some other shithole. (Florida itself is fine…just a lot of bad people….)

Idk. So many “modern” mentalities just fuck me up. I hate that the further you are from your hometown and family the more “successful” you are.

How many people, once it’s too late, regret being so far away from their families and seeing them once or twice a year at best? Realizing…wow I missed all of that time with the people most important to me. (This obviously does not apply to people who want/need distance from family since they’re shitty, abusive, etc.)

Idk. If that’s what the character needed, specifically, I feel like they didn’t show it to me that way. It felt too general. If that makes sense.

[wanderingsoul]

money and love

i recently saw a podcast clip talking about how we often feel the same about money as we do relationships. if we’re in a scarcity mindset, its most likely affecting these two areas of our lives in similar ways. 

my first reaction was to balk at the comparison, knowing that money stresses me out beyond belief and feeling that i’ve “hacked” relationships at this point and they don’t really cause me a lot of anxiety anymore. mostly due to an extreme amount of self-evaluation and need to have everything packed away neatly, but i digress. 

ever since i was young, i felt money was something that i always craved but never had enough of. my family grew up poor, and so there was no room for extras or fancy things. my mom says i was cursed with expensive taste, and i actually agree with her. i am drawn to designer clothes and shoes, expensive events and hobbies and really a luxury lifestyle. i started working when i was 13 years old, and from the get-go, i never got into the practice of saving. anything that i made babysitting would be spent at the mall or online within a few weeks or months. my parents would force me to donate money to our church, or a charity every month but that was the only time the money i made was not mine to use entirely. once the pattern was created, it has stayed fairly consistent over the past 10 years, with increasing paychecks, and increasing spending. i’ve paid almost every bill ive had early, and was able to save enough to buy a few cars, and a house, so you would think i would have some sense of security in that. or security in my job, where i make more than the median household income in america. but somehow its never enough. every check is spent paying off student loans and my credit card debt, which is from the last check where i spent more than i made. and i am fully stuck in the cycle. it feels like for years now, at least 1-2 years, that has been my life. bi-weekly stress of paying off bills and loans, and over-drafting my account several times a year. you would think at some point, i would start saying no, learn some impulse control and stop buying things. and some months i do, but most months i don’t. so lets look at the mindset i have when it comes to money, which is “it comes and goes easily”. i say this often mostly joking but truly do feel this way. i am able to make much more than i ever though possible, and am able to afford things and experiences i never thought possible. i hardly every say no to things regardless of the cost because i know i will be able to manage it. i still manage to pay my credit cards off every month so in my mind i am fine. i still stress every single paycheck, every month about money, but also am having the most fun of my life. 

when it comes to relationships, i can see some sort of patterns in my early experiences. i really did not have any notable relationships until college, and felt that attention was not something that i got very often. i had been single for a very long time, and did’t care to compete to date someone like most everyone else did. so when i did attach, i would become a bit obsessive. i would think about them all the time, want to spend every waking moment with them, and for the first notable partners, they did not feel the same. but as i’ve matured and expanded my dating pool, i have come to realize that i am the commodity. i am the prize and i can put in fairly minimal effort to get the attention i want. however, the attention that i get is never from someone that i see as an equal, or someone i would consider as a serious partner; it often comes from lonely guys looking for a good time. my mindset is a bit more protective of myself when it comes to dating, i am not going to invest my time in something i know won’t lead to where i want, and when i do invest time into someone, its at my pace, on my timeline, when works for me. i do not chase love, and i truly believe what is meant for me will be for me. 

after looking at both areas of my life, i realize that i do have some sort of trust in the universe that i will be taken care of, and i will be able to do achieve all my dreams. but for some reason, that peace doesn’t carry over as easily into money as it does in relationships, even though the stability i have in money is arguably much more than in relationships. i think with money i feel out of control and irresponsible, whereas in relationships i almost always feel in control. i would like to shift my thinking about money away from the scarcity mindset into one of abundance. 

[lunerabo]

To shorten: become valuable. In this hypothetical situation you have humans to worry about more than zombies, as zombies would operate without the mental restraints put in place to keep the body from accidentally killing itself with its own strength, thus making one able to do a lot of damage in a short amount of time, but destroy itself very quickly (a lot like rabies) whereas humans are extremely clever and 9/10 times find ways to have their cake and eat it too.

So, in the interest of not being murdered by a desperate thief who wants your pound of dog meat so they can feed themselves for the next week, you need to establish trade. Money is now worthless, but skills are not.

Become proficient in hunting before the actual apocalypse; chances are, it won’t happen all at once. You would see something like this beginning to bubble up long before shit hits the fan. Depending on whether or not the virus spreads to animals, this could be a very difficult path to choose, but a necessary one nonetheless. You’ll need basic medical/veterinary equipment as well if it does, because if you kill an animal, you need to be able to test for the virus to avoid giving someone bad meat. Not to mention, hunts can be very dangerous already even without a zombie virus on the loose, so you need to be prepared for injury. Meat will be scarce since this isn’t a job anybody will want to do, so there will be no reason to kill you and every reason to establish trade with you.

If you’re no good at hunting, make sure you’re good at building. Whether you create weapons, shelters, or transportation, everybody will be looking for someone who can do the heavy lifting like that. If you can supply that, you’ll get no shortage of people giving you resources in exchange for your skills. People, being people, will inevitably divide and begin warring amongst themselves, but if you remain extremely independent and help anybody who offers you enough payment without ever actually taking sides, you’re not likely to be harmed because they can’t afford to lose someone with your skills. Thus, you can profit off of everybody, maybe even hire personal protection against thieves.

You can also make things like soap and lip balm from natural resources and it isn’t at all hard to do, but no one seems to know how to do it for some reason. It never gets mentioned in media, but things like these are the small luxuries we would notice missing right away. In a situation like this where people are without, you pull a chapstick out of your pocket, everybody and their mother is going to want to get their hands on it.

Since cities are where the zombies will be, everyone will be fleeing to the countryside to get a small patch of dirt for themselves that the zombies are too far away to visit. However, very few people will choose land that’s difficult to get around in, which is why you should. Start hiking and rock climbing, so that you’re already well practiced in navigating treacherous terrain without injuring yourself, and build your house there. You’ll get fewer thieves since the path to your home is too risky, and should any zombies actually wander out that far, scrambling up sharp cliffs and steep mountainsides is a job that requires the attention to detail and carefulness of a human mind. You should still, however, set traps just to be safe. Well placed game traps and homemade land mines should get anything that manages to get through, and have some kind of alarm system for thieves that are smart enough to avoid all of it.

Point is, zombies are ironically the least of your problems in a zombie apocalypse scenario. Worry about people.

The way you can tell I’m a man is that if you have an hour to kill you can ask me about my zombie apocalypse survival plan that I’ve been carefully putting together and revising since I was 8

[justxright]

Hi! I really love your writing and I was hoping could I possibly have Akaza and Douma (poly if that’s alright) x reader where she purposely tries to make them jealous please? (NSFW of Sfw I’ll leave it up to you) Feel free to change anything you want from this 😀

No because this is giving toxic vibes, but I’m living for it. I would be toxic enough to do this too ngl. <3 NSFW at the bottom! Enjoy enjoy

Akaza x Reader x Douma // “Purpose Jealousy”

Purposely making Akaza and Douma jealous was such a dangerous game to play. When they’d get jealous, it was always a non-stop battle for your attention and an all out war between the two demons. You knew it was wrong, but at the same time you loved the thrill.

It was your birthday and you had Douma who treated you like an princess. Everything you ever asked for, you got. Anytime you were with Douma you were always wearing fine clothing with the most expensive piece of jewelry as your centerpiece. It constantly pissed Akaza off that Douma could always afford the nicer things.

And you used all that to your advantage. “Awe, Douma this is beautiful! I’ve never had anything like this in my life! How do you manage to get me all the things I could ever want?~”

Douma patted your head as he put a brand new crystal flower pin in your hair. “Ah it’s easy my darling! Don’t worry about it! I just demand that you have the finest things in life!”

Akaza clenched his teeth together as the heat of jealousy began to creep up into his stomach and up into his throat. The only thing Akaza held out for you were flowers. Flowers that he grew himself. Oh, how he waited so long for them to grow, checking on them every night and imagining how happy you would be to receive them.

Except how could he out gift Douma’s? He was furious and jealous. “I uh… I grew them myself. I hope you like them Y/n…” Akaza awkwardly rubbed his neck and his face grew red with embarrassment. Douma snickered quietly and half hid his face behind his folding fan. “Pathetic…”

Before Akaza could swing at Douma, you gladly took in the flowers and brought him into your embrace. “Oh I love them Akaza! It’s the thought that counts! Really they’re beautiful, thank you so much!” A nervous sweat rolled down your head while you nervously laughed. You loved to see each of them get jealous, but sometimes you feared that one day you won’t be able to stop the fighting. That’ll force Muzan to step in, and you definitely didn’t want that to happen.

However, it was your fault and all according to your plan. You told Douma everything you wanted for your birthday, and said nothing about it to Akaza. That way he’d have no clue what you wanted. “Hey Akaza, it’s alright! Y/n is right! It is the thought that counts. They’re lovely Akaza, well done tending to flowers.”

Akaza glared back at Douma who had the biggest smirk on his face. “Like you don’t have your own fucking garden…”

He was definitely going to get back at Douma, and “get into it” with you later. He knew your little jealous games, and he had finally had the final straw.

❀•° NSFW below! °•❀

Douma walked around the temple alone, wondering were you and Akaza had gone after dinner. He just blinked and the two of you were gone. Now he was stuck walking around his own temple looking for you two. “Y/n? Y/n darling where are you?…” Douma called out and had reached the furthest part of his temple where the small bath house was.

He wondered if you had gone to bathe yourself with Akaza and made his way inside the bath house. There was no way that he would let Akaza hog you all for himself. It just wasn’t fair and they swore they would share you evenly.

As he made his way inside, he immediately heard the sound of your voice. Well, more like the sound of you moaning. His heart dropped and his stomach turned. Douma’s face began to turn red while he speed walked towards you and whatever room you were hiding in.

Jealousy was hard for Douma to come by since he didn’t fully understand the emotion, but once he got a grip of what it felt like he hated the feeling. Especially when you would purposely make him feel that way.

He made his way into one of the rooms, and stumbled across a horrific sight. Your back facing towards him while Akaza roughly adjusted your hips up and down onto his cock as he sat down leaning against the tub.

Douma felt like throwing up but what he mainly felt was jealously. How could you ever have sex without him when you promised you’d love them equally? Akaza on the other hand had a smug look on his face while staring right at Douma. Oh how the tables have turned.

He forced you down on him faster while another moan escaped your lips, all while you pretended to still be unaware of Douma’s presence. A few more strokes and you were cumming and screaming for Akaza. You desperately began to ride him faster until Akaza creampied you for the third time, all in front of Douma.

Akaza patted your back softly and you turned around to look back at Douma with Akaza’s cock still inside you. “Oh Douma? How’d you find us?” You asked innocently and out of breath.

Douma didn’t know wether or not he wanted to slap you or fuck you. He decided to go with the second option since Akaza was right there, and because he wanted to show him how to really fuck you.

“Aw what’s the matter?” Akaza looked up with a smirk plastered across his face. He had never felt so satisfied.

Douma proceeded to unbuckle his belt with a determined look on his face. “Pathetic. Let me show you how it���s really done…”

You might have screwed up here.

[astaroth1357]

How Often They Worry about MC…

For those who don’t know, I have a little dog named Charlie and she is a large portion of my world. There's no need to be alarmed, my dog is fine, but there are days where I hold her and all I can think about is how much I worry about her health down the line… I suppose we often do that for the people we love, particularly the ones who may not last as long as we will. Take that as inspiration if you'd like.

Lucifer 

Near constantly. 

If you tracked his blood pressure on a grid, you'd see it start to continuously rise about when he decided they were worth having in his life.

Lucifer is the eldest sibling to a whole crew of brothers so he's no stranger to worry. He worried about his brothers when they were young, he worried about them after the Fall, and he still worries about them now (even if he's less open about it).

But a part of him knows that his brothers can handle their own, at least to varying degrees. The MC, though? He's far less sure…

They've proven rather resilient, but also headstrong and reckless. Neither of which are good things to be in a place this dangerous...

If Lucifer isn't careful, he can catch himself staring at a wall or window just wondering where they are and if they're doing alright… If he called them every time he had a passing worry, their inbox would be full by the end each week.

He holds himself back because he doesn't have the time to constantly protect them, but that doesn't stop him from sending a text once or twice a day. They better respond or he'll start (secretly) panicking.

Mammon

He forgets their mortality from time to time, but every time he remembers it hits like a ton of bricks…

Mammon is a pretty "in-the-moment" person. He doesn't spend a lot of time dwelling on the future, but whenever he does the thought of losing MC always comes back to him again and again.

Like. It's gotta happen eventually, right? They're human, humans die, hell they don't even live that long to start with!

The MC can always tell when Mammon's getting worried because he'll get uncharacteristically quiet and pace around or hover by them…

Every little injury or strenuous task will suddenly seem like too much to him as well. 

If they need to carry some boxes, he'll carry them all.

If they have to jog to class, he's carrying them. 

If they so much as get a papercut, he'll have a heart attack.

It's not very hard to get Mammon out of these funks - he really does want them to reassure him that they're okay - but he's never going to get fully over it…

Not until he can steal whatever top secret immortality formula Solomon must have used anyway… He'll get it off that bastard eventually.

Leviathan

Thinks about it so often he has to actively try not to just to get any peace…

He dodges his fears for MC like a protagonist dodges lasting consequences. Every time he feels one creeping up, he's always got a distraction waiting…

"Hey where's MC at? I hope they didn't fall into the riv-OH HEY CHECK OUT THIS NEW GAME!!"

"What are they doing over there…? That looks hard, what if they bre-WAIT DIDN'T MY FAVORITE VOICE ACTOR JUST RELEASE A NEW PODCAST???"

"What if the MC dies tomorrow and they leave me all alo-DEVIL FIGHT 200! YOU CAN'T BEAT DEVIL FIGHT 200, LET’S BREAK MY HIGH SCORE!!"

Cut him some slack, his psyche cannot handle the idea of losing them on top of everything else he grapples with every day.

If, on the rare occasion, he does let himself fall down that rabbit hole he becomes extra clingy and practically begs MC not to leave his room… like ever. He'd bubble wrap them if he could.

Anytime they get really hurt or really sick he refuses to leave their side even if it means he has to awkwardly sit on the floor. He just needs to be able to glance at them every so often to be sure they're alive… Still breathing?? Phew…

Satan

He worries, preps, rationalizes, then worries again…

For Satan, knowledge is power and every scrap of information he can learn about MC is more power he can use to keep them safe and healthy.

Yes, he will want their medical history. Yes, he's going to need a list of prescriptions. Family members too. And no, you do not get a choice.

He'll read up on as many things as he can - pawn medical journals off of witches and get magical alternatives from Solomon.

The cycle usually goes: 

1. He's lying awake at night because he just heard about some terrible bacteria that makes human's skin peel off or something.

2. He does all the research he can on this bacteria, its treatment options, best prevention methods, etc.

3. Gets right about to break out the rubber booties for MC to wear around, then realizes they have a very slim chance of catching said bacteria since it's only native to incredibly remote parts of Indonesia.

4. Feels instant relief that MC will probably not catch flesh-eating bacteria and can finally sleep again…

5. Hears of some other human medical horror from Solomon and starts to worry…

It's a vicious cycle indeed… But at least he's getting a lot of medical training. Soon enough he'll be the Devildom's version of a human vet (which I guess is just a doctor, come to think of it. 🤔)

Asmodeus 

Lives so "here-and-now" that he doesn't remember often, but when he does it's always heartbreaking…

Asmo usually tries to worry about things as little as possible. It’s bad for the skin, you know? But when the MC is involved, all of that goes out the window.

Like how a delicate blossom eventually wilts in the snow, the MC is bound to leave them in time… Usually there's supposed to be something beautiful in that kind of tragedy, but perhaps he's just too close to them to find any romance in it.

The thought of their death gives him breakouts and anytime they get hurt or sick he's the first brother to offer them comfort. Every time.

Because he doesn't feel like he's as physically strong as he brothers, he tries to make up for it by minding their health in other ways. Anything to keep his MC strong and beautiful as always!

If Asmo is in a worrying mood, then he may also compensate by trying to take the MC out to a party or some fun event. Why sit around worrying by himself when he could be making memories with them now, right?

Beelzebub

It comes in waves, mostly at night.

When your thoughts throughout the day are mostly, "I wish I wasn't so hungry," it doesn't afford you a lot of time to think about much else.

In a way, it's a good thing since he experiences a lot less stress. But those worries are still there and they mostly plague his dreams…

Beel doesn’t feel hungry when he's sleeping, so a lot of his fears will make themselves known overnight. An injured or dying MC is often in his rotation of nightmares though, of course, he'd rather it not be…

After having one of these dreams, his first instinct is to always make sure the MC is okay. If they're with him, he'll hug them and check their heartbeat. If they're somewhere else, he'll go to them or shoot a text.

He has woken up without realizing his nightmare was all a dream though, and usually it's up to Belphie or MC themselves to console him while he cries… It's so heartbreaking, sweet boy just puts a lot of pressure on himself to be sure they're safe…

When he worries, it's like they're the most beautiful and expensive China set in a room full of bulls and hammers. If he could tape them to his side, he probably would. He gets scared for them that much…

Belphegor 

More scared about it than anyone else in the House.

Despite his calm demeanor, Belphie is truly afraid of losing his loved ones beneath the surface… He's already lost one of his most dear siblings before, going through that again may just break him.

Unfortunately, he's also felt just how fragile the MC is firsthand... He's not even the strongest of his brothers, yet he was able to snuff them out so easily… Who's to say someone else won't try?

Like Beel, MC's death is a recurring nightmare for him but he can usually shake off his dreams fairly well, if not change them mid-sleep. More scary is when something is actually wrong with them or they're not feeling well.

Belphie always sets his inner laziness aside for the MC when he can. If they get sick, he'll usually be right along with his family to take care of them - even if he has to skip school to do so (not that he cares about class anyway).

When he's worrying about them, he tries to play it off at first, but soon enough they'll notice him acting overly concerned and losing sleep… Best to calm him down before he starts getting cranky.