#we do so with our eyes open
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*holds up megaphone* BICORN CHAPTERRRRRR!
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Protecting MK with a costlmk
#I will take my SWK and Mei parallel crumbs thank you#Like. Getting attacked by the curse and throwing yourself in front of MK (to which there are consequences) and then getting separated#Using your power to protect the people you care about indeed#So they both do it for MK but MK does it for Wukong in 4x13#And then what's the consequence? Going into Monkey Form#AND THEN. And then#If EAMK proves true and MK had a fucked up past life#We can then apply Azure's speech to MK: ''After all MK has put you through...''#Let me have this.#My ''MK killed the pilgrims'' agenda continues#Damn originally I was going to go on a ''protecting MK at a cost'' rant for why the exchange theme will ruin our lives#But I really got side tracked there#Anyways: MK's one life against the world#lmk#lego monkie kid#lmk parallels#lmk SWK#lmk Mei#lmk theme: exchange#opening my third eye tonight#to protect the ones I care about
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we should all be unbearable ab art and what it means 2 us
#it feels so goofy saying smt like >this is legitimately the most important thing in my life that has kept me tethered and happy#when inonly draw fanart once a month butlike . what do u wnt me to do.LIE ??? right …. right ..#like im so happy that i decided to draw that first time#and so happy i kept with it and so happy to have years of my life to show for it . countless sketchbooks or files or half finished paintings#and so happy and hopeful to think of how it will change w me as i get older#the one constant in my life .. ^__^#the one thing i can always look towards and know with absolute certainty that its what i want for myself#so happy to know its been a part of our lives and cultures since the moment we opened our eyes
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It is my duty, my obligation, my compulsion, and my hunger, to be so absolutely and exotically Myself that the course of the world would sooner warp and contort than obstruct my passing among the clockwork of creation.
#my stuff#everyone is a vessel for their personal god. this i am ordered to pass on in unspoken tongue#we are not here to show a single path#for it is fractal and beyond the sight of our eyes#but i have begged and so we can at least illuminate your surroundings#god is what you make it and you may use whatever tools you like#we are on our own but you do not have to be alone.#listen with your eyes and hear with your tongue and the shape of the divine will coil in your throat#phantasmal and carnal it is of you yet outside you and is yours to expel or consume#do you hunger for the taste of your god#will you know satisfaction to devour it#will you tear the meat of your cells apart to grant it a home in the marrow of your brain#or will you spit it out to float foetal and exposed beyond you in hateful exile#a wretched twist of divinity unloved by its believer#we are together. the hunger remains. and so i open my jaws#i am a rotting mortal man concealing something odd. i am the meat upon the bone. the hunger of the god.
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Jack Marsh (2005), Friendship Otherwise - Toward a Levinasian Description of Personal Friendship
#saw carnation lily lily rose by john singer seargent irl today. it was basically at my doorstep all along idk why i never went to see it#it was placed at a corner in the gallery. me and my friend sat down and sketched the paintings of beautiful naked people quite badly. paper#provided by tate britain. she told me about how she couldnt look her boyfriend in the face after a harrowing film about war. when i say the#interview was informal i mean the person who was supposed to be my boss told me let me get you a cider and then he said after#50 years of life he knows people are inherently good and it only takes a little bit of kindness to save this world. he said he tricked#his wife into keeping the baby and then he said he quit his job at a US bank to help people find meaning and in it#he would have liked to find meaning. instead he started climbing with his friends. he said he chews his cigarettes because its a habit from#when he had to hide things from people. the entire time i felt uncomfortable and incredibly enlightened. this is my friends mentor. she has#his pattern of pauses and expletive and penchant for ends-justify-means attitude. i do think im not very clever#but maybe one day i will love you enough to make up for it. i wrote code i dont understand staring at the final error i thought about how#we both thought of how when we're too old to remember the voices of our friends we would like to stand in the pathway of the LHC beam pipe#cut it open and eat light in the freezing cold vacuum (kills you long before radiation will) the invisible puncture wound unfolding dna#back to the start larger than you ever were. you go to heaven once youve been to hell. my friend is in my bed#practicing calculations of eigenvectors by hand and she is uninterested in a visual proof you are uninterested in incompetence#we catch a train this is your kind of burden you tragic hero wincing at that word you only do this because you have to. im the only one#who can. i am a coward in this for the fucking poetry. the visual proofs. the pretty numbers. an architect who was horrible at maths wanted#to be a philosopher and accidentally ended up neck in deep in 70th Error On Visual Studio Code i want to kiss your eyes before we say#goodbye we both know there is no love in the way there should be. I still have your dress in my wardrobe. i hope you make art.#you think im alright head-wise i think you fucking hate me i think ill never be so clever you want me to tell you my idea?#if you wanted more of this world i would have liked to kiss you harder. we cant both be like this. im sorry i cant be with you the whole wa#the love is gone if you have to ask it. his breath catches his eyes feel stiff it is -1.9 kelvin he is near the beam pipe i miss holding#his hand i miss her singing voice i miss his hair and i found the antonym of pain thank you for carrying me home.
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Omg I just remembered eighth grade english class bro the MAZE RUNNER WAS SO BADD 😭😭😭😭
(This a redraw , original drawing was from eigth grade LMFAO)
#the maze runner characters were all girls to me idc….#i loved minho bro omg#u cant hate minho#the maze runner sucked so bad but I loved it like I loved shitting on it and minho i loved minho bro#maze runner#the maze runner#minho#thomas#newt#cassketti art#we all had that one piece of media that was so bad that it made our young selves like media literate and like actually critically think#maze runner was my first media that I hated so much I started to understand how to analyze writing#like I knew the basics of writing before but like maze runner opened my eyes fr#im sorry maze runner fans 😭😭😭#dont listen to him thomas ur rocking that choppy microbangs look keep doing u (lies)#ur barbers probably already dead anyways OO implied spoilers sorry
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lmaoooo maffhew wanting the knot immediately and having to wait for sasha to catch up with that is so deeply funny like. this omega is not subtle and you’re not a stupid alpha babe! can only imagine what benny has to say to maffhew about it once he catches on and stops banging his head against a wall
idiots to lovers is always great but especially when its two people who would be hitched with 10 kids by now if they stopped being dumb for a single second like its that easy and yet...
to me they very much fall around the same time (infatuation at first scent if you will) just that sasha takes some time to get there not because he's dumb (okay he's a little dumb) but in the sense that its like "this person is very interested in me, i can see and recognise that but theres so much cognitive dissonance in my brain right now between knowing that intrinsically and finding that hard to believe so i unintentionally play dumb because obviously i'm reading too much into things it cant be me they're interested in haha that'd crazy but they're being awfully touchy and flirty with me wow"
but also it takes two to tango and we have to acknowledge that and this is when i would love to bring up the ways in which this man decides is the best way to go about that because he is a catholic school girlie... there's so much hilarity to be had here especially because his flirting is very uh how you say... a little ass backwards if you will especially considering dynamics
"I make it a point to keep the door closed when we're alone in a room together! That's basically a clear invitation that I'm down to fuck!!! Im basically asking to be ragdolled on his knot!!!"
and Benny just pinches the bridge of his nose like "I don't know how to explain to you in a way you'll understand that not everyone went to Catholic school."
But saying that Sasha does side-eye the door knob heavily when Maffhew goes over to close it the first time and he starts sweating like he just got dragged into a game of 7 Minutes in Heaven he did not sign up for and he's 13 again and oh god he got paired with a really cute girl, and he hasn't even had his first real kiss yet and-
And then absolutely nothing happens because Maffhew is just waiting with a polite expectant smile (because his work here is done, he did the heavy lifting know it's Sasha's turn) and this is when Sasha's dynamic classes training kicks in and he basically scolds himself for even assuming in the first place because this is clearly a show of trust (correct) not an invitation for extra circular activities (incorrect buzzer noise) and it basically becomes "This Omega really trusts me, I'm honoured especially as Pack Leader that I'm able to be so accepted into such a private space with the inherent knowledge that I will not encroach their boundaries whatsoever because consent is verbal, this is not in any way an invitation to take advantage of them this is deep platonic trust I will guard with my life :]"
and if you listen closely you can hear the lovely sounds of Maffhew bashing his head into a wall about how much of a gentleman Sasha is but also COME ONNNNNN... you know... once Maffhew realises what's happening which (looks at my watch) is not due for another few months really
Battle of wills: unstoppable force (maffhews catholic school understanding of dynamic interactions) vs immovable object (overseas alpha cotillion classes)
And if you think it's an Oh! An overseas dynamic thing! It's not. The Euros are watching the horrible car crash in front of them and doing absolutely nothing about it because it's none of their business, but they will stare at it... maybe judge it a bit but definitely are observing from the tall grass.
and I'm also not saying that luosty lundy forsy and bobby have a current running bet of how long it'll take for maffhew to break sasha in but i'm also not not saying that... luosty goaded lundy in the midst of a gossip session ("It has to be 3 months, right?) forsy happened to be around so lundy turned to him for advice ("7 months.") and maybeeee bobby overheard from all the way over from his stall and puts in his two cents for what it's worth ("6. Captain nice but not that nice. Very impatient." "So 3!" "No. Impatience makes him double the time, and wait longer. 6 months.") (lundy finally settles on a good 5 months because he's indecisive)
And Sasha does eventually pick up everything maffhew is throwing down... eventually... and when he does it becomes more so I want to court this omega the way they deserve I will take this slow and romance them sweetly :) *smash cut to maffhew caterwauling like a cat in heat*
but also once again its not like maffhew is helping sasha in any way this is idiot4idiot and benny would like to enjoy the car crash with the euros but unfortunately that's his soulmate, thats his bestie, his littermate from birth who has been weaned on the same teat as they climbed over each other to get to it, the first girl you kissed in your childhood bedroom because somehow you started play fighting on the bed because she was like i could totally pin you down easy and then she does and you always noticed how beautiful she was but shes even more gorgeous when she's pinning your wrists to your hannnah montana duvet you promised yourself youd changed out before she came over but you forget and well she teased you about it and you cant help but giggle about how perfect this all is and it seems that the natural conclusion to this is to taste the strawberry lipgloss of her lips because whats a kiss between besties huh its tacky and sticky and it tastes like summer and just other apt metaphors to put here about the inherent -isms of their relationship that i nearly cant put to words properly other than girls having fun (they are fucking)
and well anyways benny is watching and he has a lot of things to say about how its been proceeding so far
"You should really use your words."
"I am!"
"Right because smelling like a fucking perfume shop in the middle of October is using your words."
"This usually works with most Alphas okay!"
"Sasha isn't most Alphas."
"Tell me about it." Matthew grouses before he peeks over to Sam, looking up from beneath his eyelashes—the exact way he knows both endears him to Sam but also absolutely miffs him all the same, "Worked on you, didn't it?"
"Oh, is that what we're doing right now? We're calling getting a lapful of a preening O in preheat in the middle of a roadie a normal way to go about these things."
"It worked didn't it?" Matthew reiterates.
"It would work better if you use—"
"Okay! Alright!! I get it!!!" He does not.
like benny here is unfortunately an active listening participant in the going ons of the fuckery if not because hes involved by proxy because of maffhew because who else will hold his hair back as he calls him a dumb bitch you know
#ask#i dont think we nearly take enough advantage of maffhew going to a catholic prepatory school#my friend who went to catholic schooling his whole life until highschool (where we met) dropped the bombshell of the door thing on me#to which i went you have to be fucking with me that cant be real and then i was like well i guess its good we're both boys then-#and then he goes oh my mom knows im queer the rule applies to boys too#and i just nervously looked over to the door knob like well uh maybe we should open the door? i dont want your mom to be mad-#and he was like oh shes convinced we've been fucking since we met so this is allowed youre the only boy she lets do this (the door thing)#a couple of years later when he moved out i found out friends weren't allowed over if he was alone in the house but i was the only exceptio#and i felt like the equivalent of a roving tomcat who keeps wandering into the gardens and got the neighbours cat daisy pregnant#i dont think i could ever look that woman in the eye after all that#this is all to say catholic schooling does things to you man#anyways i do have to reiterate every kitty is fucking each other on a normal basis and in an abo au it gets even worse#making our whorehouse a whorehome#ive always said this but flirting with a virgo is like flirting with a brickwall#actually thatd be an insult to the brickwall because at least the brickwall would give you something to work with#the humble virgo looks you in the eyes before they crush your ego with a single word and youre like thank you mistress may i have another#i feel for maffhew i really do#theres just so many funny ways this just goes terribly wrong because both maffhew and sasha are inherently messy people#matthew and sasha on a team outing sat next to each other in a booth and matthew gets a little tipsy and starts rubbing his cheek#on sashas shoulder and sasha is just looking over to benny like please. help. and benny just snorts and blatantly ignores#him as he continues to sip on his beer and sasha just turns to ekky and silently pleads with his eyes. PLEASE. HELP.#ekky huffs and looks away very much not thrilled about being involved in any form whatsoever and hes not gonna change his mind about this#*5 minutes later* and ekky finds himself switching spots with sasha with a cuddly maffhew on his arm and he's a little disgruntled about it#but its very hard to stay upset when maffhew keeps mumbling about how nice he smells and keeps trying to scent him#all over like he has any right to lay a claim when hes been in the pack for such a short time#and yeah okay maybe he preens a little bit at the compliment like just a little#and maybe he does like being treated like a glorified scratching post but matthew doesnt need to know that (matthew knows that)#well anyways
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Holy mother fucking shit…. I don’t even know what to say. I was just doing my weekly stalking of of pro Palestine and local jvp Instagram accounts (cuz I like to know ahead of time if they are gonna do something stupid out in public so I could stay away from that area) and these ass hats (and they are ass hats with the shit they pull and say) are mourning the loss of the fucker AKA Sinwar (May he burn in hell) and wow they made a huge slide show explaining how “he was a good and loving man who would never do anything bad…” bitch please- don’t even go there. He was a monster. No ifs or buts. Y’all did you forget that he was a the leader of Hamas (a fucking terrorist group)??? Thank you for coming to my tedtalk- I’m just gonna go… holy shit some people really are….
Oh and these are the same groups that are currently throwing a fit after someone got caught (and currently facing a fine(?)) for spray painting statues on campus. They are full on throwing a fit cuz the guy “was doing nothing wrong he was only telling the truth that the college is supporting those blood thirsty Je- I mean Zionist”. They are also just going full off unmasked about their hatred towards Jews (well those who aren’t the “good Jews”)… I really just want to move out of this city
#jumblr#antisemitism#i don’t even know what to think anymore#but what the actual fuck#anti zionism = antisemitism#fuck hamas#some of y’all really need to wake up#I’m talking to you:#jvp#pro palestine#anti zionist#groups#please just wake up and open your eyes#none of us wanted this war#we just want our people to be freed#bring them home now#free palestine from hamas#but to do that Hamas needs to be taken down#y’all say that you want to free Palestine#but most of y’all support Hamas who has control over Gaza#so do you really want to free Palestine#or do you really just hate Jews and Israel#and using this was as an excuse to be raging antisemitic ass hats#i said what i said
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I am vending at a gaming/anime/fandom convention in Nov. and I have to create a bunch of sticker designs for the event!! I need to make sure I can order them in time T-T
I'm trying to do a play on "God's Favorite" for BG3; the gold color on Shar's will be gold foil hot stamped and the white on Selune's will all be silver foil hot stamped. I'm trying to think of others to do? I'm thinking of Vlaakith and maybe Mizora and Raphel?
I am doing a bunch of Sanrio characters in metal logos, I have Cinnamoroll, Keroppi, and Pochacco on my to-do list. They'll all have a glitter finish on top when they are printed!
Been busy with these so haven't done much sims. (ʃᵕ̩̩ ᵕ̩̩)
#Non Sims#my eyes and ears are open if you#have suggestions!#I have a bunch of BG3 designs I want to do#trying to let myself make the stuff I like#and phase out the stuff I made to get my business#off the ground#oh and lil story time#while everyone was (and is) getting to know each other in our newsroom#one of the reporters asked what i do in my free time#my go to is like a like to design i run a little shop#and of course she was like omg show me#and i told her no i didnt really want it was little embarrassing#and she kept asking and was being pretty pushy so I#swallowed my pride and was like sure#showed her and the way she became do disinterested so fast#I was like#um why did you push me until I showed you#and then turned your nose up at it a little#idk the switch up was crazy#and i dont sell anything wild really#i told her it for things like anime/fandom events#but yeah IDK in my mind i was like this is why I don't show people#my etsy if i dont know them#but it pays my bills so people can be judgy if they'd like#and i enjoy it and doing events#but i already stand out in that news room as is#being the alty graphic designer with a bunch#of type-a personality reporters#even if we make a good team
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of all the times for my dog to get an eye infection it's over the public holiday.. will he be ok waiting a few days 😭😭😭😭
#😔😔😔😔 i dont think it quite constitutes an emergency yet#but ideally he would see the vet asap orz.#and our preferred vet has gone appointment only so who knows when thatll be#same dog with the thyroid problem btw#he was supposed to go in about 10 days from now anyway to see how hes faring#with the meds. but this cant really wait 😭😭😭😭#hopefully we can do the check in when we drop by for his eyes#he is very quickly racking up bills for the vet and i assume this trend will continue as he ages#its just the one eye and theres like slightly yellow/green/grey mucus-like gunk coming out#so im thinking he might have scratched it or injured it somehow#theres just no telling how bad x_x#sometimes it seems ok like hes got both eyes open but others hes kind of squinting with it and the sclera is quite red#eyelid etc looks dark and slightly swollen and i think its affecting his appetite u_u#once in a while he paws at his face#only really started friday i think
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[REDACTED]: You're writing down an awful lot there. Counselor: Just my observations. Does this evaluation make you...anxious?
washed hands interview my beloved
#rvb#red vs blue#agent washington#aiden price#the counselor#this is kinda boring ngl but ehhhhhhhh i put way too much effort into this to NOT post it shsgdjs#idk if its readable anymore bc i had to halve the size of this but i filled out his dogtags lol#those thick bands on his arm are tattoos btw.#and yes my wash has heterochromia bc he deserves it#i did actually color this but i HATED it so. wash had a black eye and sutures across his cheek bc i imagined this interview happening like#right after he beat the crap out of his co. for comparison wash walks away w sutures and a black eye vs his co's broken jaw cracked ribs an#dislocated shoulder. a 'you should see the other guy' moment shsgdhsj#I like to imagine that post court martial instead of throwing him in jail they essentially grounded him and he was barred from going on#missions and he was stuck doing grunt work#they were going to throw his butt in jail but all of his squad mates went to bat for him and the higher ups were like#'omg this guy is way too liked by pretty much everyone if we put him in jail we might have a bigger problem on our hands.'#ANYWAY click or open in a new tab for full quality lol
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I think a lot of people don't support punitive justice on a governmental level (good), but they don't understand why punitive justice is overarchingly a bad thing, so they still operate with the idea that it's still the Best Option, but only when they can wield it.
Of course, there is a difference between a government having access to punitive justice and individuals or a small community having access to it, but the mindset is still strikingly similar. I've seen it time and time again where one's desire to destroy after even a small slight outweighs anything else, and that's alarming, actually. Yes, it's understandable, but I still don't think it is a healthy impulse or knee-jerk reaction for every minor affront.
#politics#i'm sure i talked about this before but it still strikes me as important#how exactly will everybody be helped by using the absolute extremes of 'justice'?#and because people only know punitive extreme forms of 'justice' that seems to be the only frame of reference they have...#...so when somebody proposes other methods of justice it is seen not unlike abuse or assault apologia or something extreme...#...because the nuance isn't there to recognize levels of severity in an action where punitive justice isn't going to work#and i'd argue that people are generally more invested in the perpetrator/s of abuse rather than the victims/survivors left in their wake#so people frame the discussion as Protecting Victims as a Class but really#ARE you helping us? and if so - what are you doing beyond going After Our Abuser/s?#people think it helps us to Go After The Abuser/s. much less do they think about *us* as people and what we need i think.#maybe its selfish of me but i know my abuser will never face any repercussions beyond people judging them slightly for what they did to me..#...so me personally i would rather people take their fury with my abuser (in my real life) and maybe invest it in myself and others...#...maybe hell will be waiting with open arms for them when they die. but i'm still going through hell because of them so i feel it's even#maybe i've just ~given up~ but i want to help people rather than immediately going After People#not everything CAN be solved with an eye for an eye. not everything SHOULD.
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Tag drop: Jingliu
#tag drop#jingliu. [ and so i wield my blade to the very end. until the “stars” have been cut down from the sky. this oath: i will never forsake. ]#jingliu: ic. [ trapped in childhood nightmares; she tore off a spread of black silk from the edge of her skirt and covered her eyes. ]#jingliu: inquiries. [ ice waves as sharp as knives spreading like transient flowers in the air. freezing all and everyone they contact. ]#jingliu: countenance. [ when you live to be a thousand years. each day is carrying the weight of a mountain through an interminable maze. ]#jingliu: introspection. [ why do you wield a sword? / this is like asking a poet why they wrote poems. this is the only way for me. ]#jingliu: meta. [ this sword in my hand... naught but a needle compared with the heavenly bodies. how can i use it to cut open a star? ]#jingliu: little notes. [ this is the first time she understands “wanting to live”. before now; she was simply someone ready to die. ]#jingliu: wishes. [ unsheathing this sword without merit is to blaspheme the divine will of the reignbow arbiter; and invite calamity. ]#jingliu: etc. [ to the xianzhou; i am but an abandoned pawn: a wandering swordmaster. ]#jingliu: the sword. [ if a day comes that the quivers run empty; and starskiffs crash who will protect you and i then; or the xianzhou? ]#jingliu: florephemeral sword. [ a sword: 3 feet; 7 inches in length. weighing nothing. and it glowed as if a sliver of moonlight. ]#jingliu: shattered sword. [ a sword: 5 feet in length. weighing 3000 catties. unyielding: mirroring the defiance; hubris of its creator. ]#jingliu: cangchang. [ when devoured; we had to face the truth that our lives were but a grain of sand in the river of time. ]#jingliu: hcq. [ their faces still linger before my eyes like a bygone dream. yet dream will eventually fade. like clouds from the sky. ]#jingliu: memories. [ given the choice between staring at the abyss with a troubled mind and marching blindly: i choose the latter. ]#jingliu: jing yuan. [ in an endless night; there is nothing closer than the bright moon. always hanging in the sky. ]#jingliu: imbibitor lunae. [ even after your rebirth. your techniques haven't changed. / when i move it's like… / … like you never forgot. ]#jingliu: baiheng. [ the things that we said and did together have all been shrouded in a layer of mist. a mist i cannot see through. ]#jingliu: yingxing. [ some are born with unparalleled foresight; intelligence; but make the ill-advised choices at destiny's crossroads. ]#jingliu: blade. [ that broken sword... you don't want to let go of the past. do you; blade? ]#jingliu: yanqing. [ that move was a token of my appreciation; young man. we were fated to meet this day and in days to come. ]#jingliu: v. youth. [ you can use this to vanquish those that took everything from us. ]#jingliu: v. sword champion. [ she knows it all. swords are a part of her body: the intake and release of her breath as she walks. ]#jingliu: v. traitor. [ and i will suffer my eternal punishment. that is the only way to keep the memory of the pain from fading away. ]
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there was a buffalo that was about to die soon but we were not allowed to tell it to the owner
#and the owner was a farmer whose livelihood depends on the animal#he was so sweet#when you meet with people from village who've travelled long enough for their animals just to get treated#you can see the hope in their wet eyes#this buffalo alone must've cost 1.5 lakh#and the economic gain from is milk is far beyond to sustain livelihood of farmers and their families#but they don't accept that their everything won't survive anymore#and we saw those poor animals#bitch with a tumor she kept whimpering#and a chihuahua who was so weak and helpless we couldn't even collect enough blood for cbc#ive been to clinic few times before this but none of the cases were this bad#also there was this rich lady with her toy breed dog who barely didn't eat for like two days and she got done all the scans and tests done#in moments like this it truly hits the condition of farmers in our country#fucking pathetic#i know its so much easier to open a clinic in metro city for dogs and cats where pets from rich families would come and youncan just do your#little oohs and awws#and no one wants to touch a cow or buffalo or goat because they don't fit in your cute aesthetic animals of what makes you a vet#but i keep thinking about the eyes of those owners as well as their livestock
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i hate when stories start establishing our protagonist has lost their parents as a distinguishing characteristic. as if loss made them special and that's why all the exciting protagonist stuff is about to happen to them. like losing your parents suddenly makes you grow fairy wings. when in reality grief makes you feel the exact opposite of 'special'. it just feels like you have fused with boring sad adult life. like if you were dressed in the same pattern as the ugly wallpaper and couldn't be distinguished from the background of life. anyways. in my "what do you even know about grief" era.
#it's like a reality check#where's that andrew garfield poem about his mother's loss making him feel as if he suddenly were living in a crueler version of life#is like that#like your eyes just got open#but if instead of purposefully and diabolically cruel it just felt#casually and unavoidably boring and sad and like you'll never be happy and this is all there is#it's just the nihilism talking but#you notice the parental loss as a Protagonist trait#as if it were a weird thing so impossible that it explains why the protagonists are magical or something#as if it were enough of a thing to separate our human character from the plane of conceivable reality for a normal person#when in reality it's just not#it's not weird#it's not a rare thing s#it's not unusual enough to be considered inconceivable#it's just sad and unfortunate and unlucky but#it happens to a lot of people#why do we treat it as if it were rare
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Might have made a friend due to the huge ass bloodborne embroidery on the back of my jacket, today truly is a win for little old me <3
#was just giving classroom keys over to a guy and he noticed the big 'our eyes are yet to open' on me#and we started talking#he invited me to play fallout ttrpg with them on Tuesdays#so that's fun#he's also in translation and interpreting but with Hungarian-English-German language combo#I'm on Hungarian-Russian-English#so we don't have any seminars in common#oh how luck plays a hand in getting me new friends!#he's the very first person who recognised the embroidery even though I've been wearing it for years#on an unrelated note#I am sooooo tired#I haven't had time to draw in 6 weeks#and when I did have one free afternoon I straight up just couldn't draw I was so exhausted and wound up#I need to get fully fluent in Russian by the end of this year or else I will combust#but idk how to do that other than by consuming copious amounts of fanfic and novels in it and rewatching arcane w/ Russian dub 648213 times#I'm on a C1 level I just make a shitton of mistakes and my active vocabulary is at most half the size of my passive one#and that was life updates by me!!! I miss being here and I miss bloodborne aaaaa#I hope you guys are doing well <3#posts from yahar'gul
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