#we can win these people back. though you dont have to forgive them

[whereispearlescentmoon]

Pearl Wild Life Session 6 Live Reaction

Title has me scared, thumbnail has me hyped. Murder camel?? But also Loss??? | | |I

|| | |_

Yay trap day!

Ooo our only choices are Gem and Lizzie!

Meeting time! We have a six person team that’s literally crazy. Grandpa and Ghost are here.

Not them being liars in chat lol “This is crazy!” “no way” “YOU GUYS DONT HAVE THIS?” “that was scary for a second” the power of having so many people is you can just lie.

PEARL STOP GOING PLACES ALONE! THIS IS HOW WE DIE PEARL!

Hi Billy! Hi cows!

Bluetooth redstone!

BILLY NO!

GUARDIAN AND PIGLINS AND PILLAGERS??

Billy is a donkey now??

New camel duo!!

OG CAMEL DUO YAY!

“How much do you hate me today Gem?” “A lot!” We may be on a camel but the divorce is still on!

“You know why though? I’ve reasons today. I have reason. I’ve reflected. Do you remember last session when you couldn’t remember, you thought you put your eye into the portal! Do you remember that?” “Ohhh but we weren’t even there for you putting the eyeball into that!” “Did you even look me in the face during our murder camel happenings?” “Yeah we had such a good time! It was so much fun!” “Do you remember what my face looked like?” “Oh. I forgot about your skin.” “Are you guys bonding?” “No, not bonding at all Impulse. This is so sad” “Okay and then other than that!” “It’s okay she’s gonna talk about it Impulse.” “You 2v1’d me! I’m still holding a grudge about that! And you know about holding grudges across seasons!” “Let’s put this straight! I didn’t 2v1 you. I let Scar kill you, I watched.” “No, I remember specifically you hitting me once!” “Just once! Just one little wack!” “It was not a regen based season!” “I sat the dogs down, Gem. You had so many hearts, you were gonna live!” “Once was enough!” “You were fine, you see look at that! We’re thriving!” You’re both right and both wrong. The best kind of argument.

“I’m just saying, I’ll forgive you if you actually 1v1v1v whatever me and not 2v1.” “It seems kinda like we’re trying to kill each other at that point. Seems kinda against the point, no? Right?” “Yeah, we have to die Pearl, that’s the game.” “Seems like there’s only resolution after the game, right?” “We can die six times, we don’t have to die.” “I CANT DIE SIX TIMES? I can die twice!” “You can die once.” “Okay, 1v1 me right now Gem.” “Okay!” “You were too all into that.” “Well. It’s high stakes for you. We’ve PvPed on Hermitcraft, it’s about 50/50 who wins who loses.” “Yeah but I’m yellow.” You two are going to drive me insane. SHES OFFERING YOU A SOLUTION PEARL PLEASE I KNOW ITS HIGH STAKES BUT THE DRAMA WOULD BE DELISH EITHER WAY!

Oh no what happens if Billy becomes hostile. Do we have to kill him?

Lizzie sacrificed herself to Jimmy! Gem is the last dark green…

Impulse and Pearl trapping together! And failing!

“You don’t need Impulse! You’re capable!” “Clearly not!” Seems like you weren’t there for her 27 fails against Lizzie last session lol.

“Two hunks on the hump” martyn why

“Puppy! Awwwww”

All that argument about the cows was for nothing…. We made enemies with Gem and Joel for nothing…

A positive shiny duo interaction? In my wild life? (Ignore that she called Gem a rat and tried to kill her it’s fine) AND THEY GOT ON A CAMEL AFTER!

Tango on the camel! A new murder buddy! Hi Skizzy! Can’t wait to watch other povs and see her camel scooting across the ground lol.

SKIZZ GOT THE GEM KILL YAY! Pearl didn’t aww

THERES A WARDEN WHY DOES THIS KEEP HAPPENING IN THIS SERIES!

Oh it’s Tango, Pearl and Etho! That’s the perfect trio to encounter a warden! The decked out winner, Queen, and game master lol

Oh great they name tagged it so he can never leave. Beautiful.

Pearl’s immunity to warden fear is real and true. I do not believe Grian even a little bit. No one should get near the warden lol.

SKIZZ RUN SKIZZ RUN SKIZZ WHY YOU JUST GOT BACK TO GREEN

Skizz, Scott and Pearl slowly tridenting a warden to death is so funny. PEARL DO NOT GET CLOSER PEARL!

Oh she got the totem! Yay!! I should have believed Grian!

A creeper claims another kill. Oh BigB with a creeper! He doesn’t get a life cause Skizz was light green tho.

Ah! A pit trap on the creeper farm! And a trap on the wheat! This whole base is rigged to kill and that’s wonderful.

Scar died to a Vex? Ironic. And Etho to a Skellyboy!

Ooo Skizz on red!

PEARL WHY DO YOU WANT TO START A RAID??

“Pearl and I are off to cause chaos!” Welcome to the summary of Impulse and Pearl’s wild life season. Aw the raid isn’t working :( NEVER MIND ITS WORKING NOW SCRAM

Jimmy was killed by bloop?

“You know I want you to win the series!” AWW SHE GAVE HIM HER TOTEM! THEY ARE BESTIES! I LOVE THEM!

Skizz is gone! Aw! Jimmy is officially the highest rank he’s ever been btw.

It’s a birthday cake! Yay!

Since when was Lizzie on red? Hello?

Pearl failing to kill… again. She’s so washed up (affectionate)

Trip cancelled! Trip cancelled! That editing was hilarious with the music stopping.

Pearl you will not be able to successfully trap Gem. I think we have to give up at some point. (This is a joke)

“Pearl, Scar wants me to kill you and I said no way” “Why would he want to kill me? I haven’t done anything to him.” “He said you want out of the series, so, and I said no that’s a lie.” Nosey Neighbors crumbs.

Calling a lie a “porky” is the most Aussie thing I’ve ever heard.

Omg she stole Gem’s camel. There’s some symbolism there I guess.

Yay Bdubs ally! I dub thee, Gonzo.

I liked the wild card this episode! Very fun, especially cause of how much of the season has been squabbling about cows lol. Who cares, the cows are dead!

[siphonophoresupernumerary]

You gots to have the patience to teach, walk people through things. It looks like a LOT of people did not understand the full ramifications of their vote, and they need someone to explain it to them. A lot of conservatives are conservative because they don't feel like they are welcome amongst the left, and while they weren't so conservative before, they became more conservative later as they spent more time away from people they thought rejected them. And to be fair a lot of them are complex people with bad beliefs and not enough experience in cultural diversity to play ball with communists and anarchists, but so long as they feel welcomed or at least tolerated they will find their spots, some will become anti-fascist and allies and some will become left leaning centrists. And that is ok. Massive action hardly ever happens, it requires everyone to be on the same page and it worries me how everyone is forgetting that you only KNOW the things that you HEAR, and there's so much conflicting information to hear! And everyone gets caught up in how they feel and what they've heard before and what they've heard before creates ideological momentum in what they will believe next. No one is immune to this effect.

In high school I was a homophobic fascist who hardly knew any better and couldn't grasp how these beliefs, when acted on by others I helped put into power, would effect the world and those around me. But I was also a self described communist. I recognized the power and unity of fascism and the mutualistic power and unity of communism. I still had a lot to learn about myself and political ideologies. Coming out of high school I was a sexist too depressed to be a fascist(other people get depressed into fascism, I'm probably weird) socialist-communist who has started to put together theories on small mutualistic communities being fairly stable governmental structures, but my depression told me that there would be a constant backslide into power grabbing and pain and war.

Had I not been friends with my partner (something my ex was against) I would have wandered amidst whatever ideologies came my way over the internet and at the pulpit at church and on the radio(which was always NPR thanks to my parents). My parents gave me a liberal christian upbringing, an oddity among christian culture, but I was able to deviate from that all on my own, to good and bad places. My partner who was already gay and trans and poly and not Christian, who had built up trust over the dark days of quarantine and was not afraid to correct me gently enough to not hurt my feelings (though she will claim he was mean about it) led me by the hand farther left than my parents.

There is a world where instead of the nonbinary mostly pan transwoman who is proud of her weirdness, I am a man full of hate from high school that never healed, a strict judge, a nationalist with a penchant for authoritarianism. I could have strayed into racism, transphobia, ableism, as it was I struggled to let go of my eugenics ideas until I understood that the slippery slope can taint any belief. Being able to gene edit your children leading to Gattaca (1997) or the eugenics wars in Star Trek. The socialist Soviet Union failing because it was an authoritarian nationalist state with a growing oligarchy rather than communism simply not working. No governance works off paper for too long, even anarchy will eventually create a government on it's own.

What helped me most was a firm belief that no one deserves to die, and no one deserves to suffer, and no one gets to chose to kill or inflict pain on others. Christians believe in Loving Thy Neighbor, but they also believe in hard work and earning their way into earthly prosperity and heaven after they die. Some suffering is ok, it's just god testing us. What you need to do is impress upon them the importance of loving thy neighbor. It is second only to "Loving the Lord Thy God". A lot of christians won't be moved by this, and that is ok, conserve your patience and energy to apply it where it is needed most. You cannot be mean if you want them to join you, and I know they can be so so annoying, but the constant sniping and yelling only serves to solidify factions, which is what the rights leadership wants. They want us to divide and fight between eachother. It is up to us to be kind, but also take no shit. Some values you will not be able to change, but if you can make them feel more comfortable with us than them then they'll get closer to us and see things our way.

The issue with conservatives is that their leadership is lying to them, about so much. Their system of beliefs is so much about faith in unreachable authority figures, and their leaders know this and manipulate it. And now we see illegal immigrants who voted for Trump getting reported by their Trump voting neighbors and deported. The economy is genuinely in a bad spot but to them it's so much more dramatic and they're promised fixes if they just have faith and keep voting red. At the ground floor, christians are generally Nice, though not necessarily Kind, and that is welcoming for a lot of people who are looking for community, safety, and direction.

The issue with liberals (and by that I mean literally anyone left of center) is that they love to nitpick and talk and argue. They're Kind but not Nice and that drives people away. Plus they tend to reject any bandaids because it's not the perfect size bandage for any given wounds, and so things don't get done in a hurry and no one is happy with what you actually end up with. Also the aforementioned fractioning of factions helps induce this inability to compromise with eachother, and the people on the right who create their rhetoric draw acceptable lines in unique places depending on who they are and who they appeal to, creating so many levels of acceptable variations. Then when that rhetoric meets the leftist shores it feels disjointed and impossible to appease, and that's true of the most staunch supporters. In reality most people have their own unique nuances and lines that they've made, and they can be reached.

There IS racism and sexism and homophobia and transphobia and antisemitism and more in both groups. You would be surprised to see how little in some conservative spots, though on the whole the left has more of a handle on it, though again, they're Kind but not Nice and that gets them into trouble and fractioning with themselves.

My mother's side of the family lives in the poorest county in the state, directly on the bible belt, mormon for generations even, some of them went west with the pioneers. That land has been in the family since it was colonized, and I'm told it was purchased from the indigenous people who lived there, though whether it was a fair deal I have no way to know. Most everyone there is a republican and Trump supporter to boot. But my family has been a pillar of liberalism in spite of it all around them. Generations back a great great great (or so) grandmother wrote a feminist essay about how she ought to be treated the same as men, women were always a huge influence in the family, it was the wife who had the family move back from out west, they are educated, almost all women in the family on recent generations were and are teachers of one form or other. They hold such beliefs as "military bad actually" "Universal Basic Income is really good and also The Future" and "illegal immigrants are literally our neighbors. Be nice to them they're normal people". They vote blue, and they try to have civil conversations with their red neighbors, they don't always get queer stuff but they were fine that I have a trans boy partner, and have attended pride events.

City leftists love to hate on rural folk, and honestly they have earned the ire, but so many of them are ignorant, stuck in the rut of Fox News feeding them stories of terrorist immigrants and litterpans in schools. They care a lot about economy because they're poor. From what I hear from city folk complaining about things they've heard about country folk, it appears to me to be influencers wearing the trappings of poor working class country folk while they have spotless or neatky cluttered kitchens and time to wear makeup all the time. My family has lived next to a burned up husk of a house for around 15 years. I don't remember the last time they had a clean house and I was around shortly after it was built. Drugs run rampant in the country, anything to distract from your own poverty and give you some feeling of control until it tears families apart.

You HAVE to be kind, you HAVE to be patient. If you don't have the energy then just ignore them. Stick up for yourself, and be willing to give them time to change on their own too. A mind isn't usually changed in just one day, especially when its a long held belief that has been unchallenged, or refined in the fires of seeing weirdos on the other side and being told what they think and why by people who don't have their best interests at heart or are cynics who call themselves realists. Be firm, but also open minded, sometimes they'll agree with you in a really annoying way, show that you do care about them and their feelings, but don't roll over and let them walk all over you. If they won't listen then they won't listen, you have done what you can.

Good luck out there

[blommp717]

https://www.tumblr.com/blommp717/755407309435502592/thoughts-on-this

so like i understand that there is no ‘doing’. and that when i think of it, that is the experience itself but forgive me for still being method focused, why does this seemingly physical experience still persist? what changes did you make where it got to a point where you no longer ‘do’ things. i still don’t understand how my seeming physical appearance will shifts with what my awareness is on if i still have to think about things that i have to do in the ‘future’ while also being aware of my ‘desired’ life where those future things aren’t happening.

like i become aware of that desired life and i’m like well then it’s real and i feel good but then i also am aware of things i have to do in my current life.

I see, I apologize in advance for the long reply but here I go.

This feels like a journey, though a pretend journey, a journey nonetheless. I’m going to be honest. Even for me, it can feel helpless on random things, just today I had what I’m sure people would consider an incredible success story.

(I’m only explaining so I can give you some context if you don’t want to read just go past the giant story)

These past few days I’ve had this one situation that’s been absolutely gutting me and triggering me, like when I tell you, it looked and felt like the entire world was working against me. Like every single thing was perfectly placed JUST to get a reaction out of me, like it was just waiting and pushing until I’d give up. Now how did I deal with it? All I kept in mind was everything only had the option to work in my favor, I would throw in some personal affirmations of the situation I wanted and how the outcome was to be, but in the end it was about what I chose to be aware of. Throughout the entire day, if I chose to focus on what the 3D was telling me I think I’d be depressed 😭😭. Like it looked like new information about how it WASNT gonna work out for me kept coming.

But no, the only thing that mattered was where my focus was, and yes, I felt the famous pit in my stomach that I’m sure we all feel, I felt my body burn every time I thought about what I didn’t like, but it still didn’t matter because I got what I wanted and actually even better. What kept me still was knowing there is no way that what I perceive isn’t me, wether I like it or not, it doesn’t matter because it’s still me, recognize it and move on, recognize it as yourself, stop letting it hold something over you, BECAUSE IT IS YOU.

It does feel like “doing” in these situations, and I quickly remind myself of all the things I’ve experienced by simply being aware of them, it helps me push back in place. But I think it’s the most important In experiences that feel like they hold something over us to remember that, everything is temporary, in the same way I can waste my time thinking over and over about something I don’t like, feel awful about it and keep experiencing it, I can be aware of what I want, feel awful about it and experience what I want. I have two options but in one of them, I’m thinking about what I want, seems like a win to me.

Remember also, whatever you’ve experienced, is gone and died the moment it left your immediate perceived physical space. YOU DONT HAVE TO THINK ABOUT IT AGAIN 😭😭. Idk why I used to do this so much and I think it’s because we feel an obligation in a way to keep what we see as more important but omg, if awareness of the only reality it’s realizing that this apparent 3D replica, relies on you. Something triggering that happened? Okay cool, don’t resists it, recognize it’s you, if you want you can recall what you’ve been focusing on recently and what could have brought this to your awareness in this moment, and move to your new POV. Stop staying so hard stuck in a story you don’t even like!!! I ALSO did this so much! Nothing continues, I know it might seem that way but a nothing KEEPS GOING, something you don’t like? K it’s just one instance, whatever you choose to stack on top of that “negative” experience, becomes the, in a way, continuation. Everything is an entirely different experience, this life that we as god have made, this illusion we’ve made, is meant to be lived out so of course it feels fluid and natural as if in a forward motion, but it’s all just moments of right now, when you think about a memory, you don’t teleport to the past because it’s not a place you can go, it’s all now, even the future, it’s not somewhere you can walk to, it’s thought about in the now. I’m starting to ramble a bit but I hope this helped you. Just remember everything is about awareness, which is actually all you are and which is everything, so, be god, stop pretending to be human.

[andreabandrea]

i really love post-game headcanons where frisk refers to flowey, either jokingly or seriously, as their best friend. their dynamic is so interesting to me, like. flowey feels like anyone who sees him and knows his secret will only want to have asriel back, but frisk never knew asriel. on the other hand, they know flowey - and flowey is the only other one who knows what it's like to save and reset.

and that gives frisk a connection that they don't have with the rest of their friends and family. even though in the true pacifist ending, things are all fine and dandy now, there could very easily still be trauma of like - every monster trying to and succeeding in killing them (except papyrus, who just beats them near unconscious and throws them in a shed). and if they did any neutral routes, they might have killed also, and nobody knows about it or remembers it except them. even despite killing and being killed, just the trauma of resetting and being forgotten and starting over several times could weigh on a person - granted, frisk is a very determined person, but still.

i think the concept that frisk doesnt want to change flowey, but instead meet him where he is, would be intriguing to flowey - and in some circumstances, i could see that being enough to convince him to come to the surface - and this has always been more interesting to me than "saving asriel"-type endings. some things can't be taken back. trauma can't be erased - but you can still move forward with your loved ones by your side.

i think frisk and flowey would help each other heal. frisk initially tried to run away from the surface for a reason, and maybe not a good reason - asriel implies maybe they were trying to end their life by climbing a mountain nobody returns from. flowey has a whole load of trauma that i surely don't need to elaborate on - but i will anyway.

a lot of flowey mischaracterizations stem from the reader taking his words at face value. in new home in the no mercy run, flowey expresses that he's emotionless and nothing but a heartless killer. a lot of fics tend to write flowey as nothing but a perfect calculating killing machine because the readers believe him. but his actions tell a different story; flowey loses his patience with the whole "i'm here to teach you about love" act if you dodge his bullets three times - it's childish, in a way, because he is a child and he's mad that he's not winning at this game. flowey clearly expresses sadness, anger, and in the no mercy route just a bit after new home - fear. (the way i've written it in the past is that he's constantly disassociating from himself and the world by portraying his death and trauma as part of a game, and the way he deals with emotions is filtered through this ptsd-like view, but i dont want to act like i'm the best flowey writer in the world or anything, i've also made a lot of mistakes).

regardless, flowey is, at the end of the day, also a child like frisk. he wants to seem scary to them, and in the no mercy run, he's trying to sound cool and appeal to "chara" - that's why he acts the way he does. it's like a child trying to scare another child or act tough for a beloved sibling.

flowey has also done terrible things to frisk; they're not exempt from the list of monsters that tried to and succeeded in killing them. and although i think all the other monsters can and would be helpful and healing toward frisk and flowey, there's something valuable about a bond like - "we went through this together." if frisk can forgive someone like asgore who succeeded in killing 6 humans, killed them a handful of times, and also made them kill him, i think frisk can forgive flowey.

this comes down more to headcanon, but i think the way that frisk and flowey would interact in this post-game scenario is that, like. flowey would never admit weakness directly. he would feign disinterest in the surface and its denizens, but only because he's afraid. afraid that people wouldn't want him around. afraid because he doesn't know what happens next and if he deserves to see it. afraid of what he could do. but if he, soulless that he is, ever did try to do anything harmful, frisk is the one person who could easily stop him. (not that they would have to - flowey only killed out of boredom, not out of a real enjoyment of it; with so much to do on the surface, and no reset as a failsafe, i can't imagine flowey starting to kill again).

i think frisk would be able to read between the lines about when flowey is hurt and upset and try to comfort him without making him feel weak. we see frisk's kindness and mercy scare and upset flowey once (post-photoshop flowey fight), but those aren't normal circumstances - flowey hadn't grown as much then as he has by the end of the true pacifist route. i think, with time, flowey could come to accept he deserves to exist as he is and accept kindness, and show it in his own way

without the ability to reset (barring the true reset), anything that happens from now on is permanent. flowey in the game relies heavily on his knowledge of past resets; without that, he's forced to admit (albeit if only to himself) that he's not as smart and powerful as he likes to claim. it's a scary new world, and the future isn't written, but i think flowey would be willing to face it again with frisk - someone he always wished he had as a friend.

[zorosnavigator]

My to do (one day i swear) fics masterlist (forgive the messy summaries and useless commentary i literally made this two weeks after seeing the movie and didnt touch it until today lol )

1 Titanic AU for this one im still thinking abt the general plot (edit 28/01: i have the plot but i have to write it lol)

2 Coryo has his grandma and cousin 'captured', it has some consequences on his psyche and thoughts... ( he believes them dead--> during the scene after the games with Highbottom implies they might be dead the little shit) and is directly (like literally forced, hes not allowed to see his family) sent in District 12....

3 (in this one they're technically older than in canon), before the war they meet many times (from 10 to 15/16y), then the war happens: they meet again during these events, (the Covey didnt partake in the war in the novel, but im still deciding though if Lucy Gray'll choose a 'side' to help or not...edit 28/01: she will pick a side hehe and not its Coryo's) ...(...maybe , after, the angst during the war, then the 13 win and they meet at opposite side of the line...and then forced to be together due to the new 'Games'.?????..bruh i have so many tropes and AU mixed in this one)

4 okay, so this is a Star Wars AU...(not Anidala i swear...they just...dont fit them i think) so idk if you watched Rogue One, but it'll be loosely inspired by this movie...

5 College/University AU, where Coryo is forced (literally, he is blackmailed by professor Highbottom) to tutor Lucy Gray otherwise he (C. Highbottom) wont valid his stage/work (or smt like that idk precisely yet since i dont know a damn thing abt American or British university ) - and he choose Lucy Gray especially for him bc he knows Coryo'll be pissed abt it and wont succed (well, he thinks he knows Coryo wont succeed, but little did he know...) so Coryo not exactly happy abt having to tutor this...girl. (pretty snobby abt it too)...their start is very...rocky...(i have written their meeting scene (well, the official meeting) already )

6 (edit 28/01: this one is very shitty i hesitated to let it on this post but here take what my snowbaird brainrot managed to imagine lol) ...due to the fragile 'peace' between districts and Capitol after the war, the new government decided to send children/teens/adult to differents district or Capitol (a sort of 'exchange'.... well and also 'you start doing suspicious things, we have your people in 'hostage' kind of thing) and for them to live in it (for a limited amount of time), and if they succeed without raising any problems, they can come back 'home' (little did kid Coryo know he will end up loving district 12....not right away of course, right now hes rather angry, disgusted by 12 and a condescending little shit... )

7 (edit 28/01: i wrote a more insightful plot for this, i'll add it tomorrow) Lucy Gray, killed in the forest wake up to the day of her reaping.

8 another modern AU (sorry if u dont like that) inspired by Mamma mia (i fully blame the whole movie album) with, of course some twist and changes...(edit 28/01: it can works my brain said so to me)

9 WHELP. ANOTHER MODERN AU. so. i wont detail everything here (its the first fic idea i had and i did work a little more on it ) but, Coryo after 3/4 years in the military (forced by his mom but theres more to it of course also,/ not thinking abt real military accuracy now) come back to see his friend Sejanus - yeah, he really is friend (reluctant) Sejanus in this,(Sejanus, who due to some events- his father death???- created with his mom a scholarship for students who live in less priviligied areas of the town/or country??? still thinking abt it ) . So. Coryo come back just to see his only (with Clementia of course) friend doing buddy buddy with Lucy Gray. Lets say hes not happy....

10 Im sure others already thought of this one, but if Highbottom was more of a close 'mentor/fatherly' figure to him after the war??? ( not only, but also manipulating Coryo to his own ends)

12 And Actors AU because well, they're both performers in their own right and Actor/actress + (fake dating maybe??) + a past still haunting them + lowkey despise you = perfect angst.

[majoringinsarcasm]

Oh I’m gonna fucking cry. That really was the last story she read to them before leaving

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO FUCK NOT TAI NOT SAD DAD SHIIIIIIT

She’s lying this isn’t an Oz mission. Does she leave her emblem behind on each mission is that the promise. She leaves it with the girls and picks it back up when she comes back that’s the promise is this a routine. I’m gonna throw up

OH MY FUCKING GOOOOOOOOOOOOD ROSEBIRD USER IS GONNA FUCKING DIE RAVEN RAVEN KNEW

IM. speechless this is everything

I’m gonna THROW UP

IM LITRRWLLT I’m shaking what the fuck

Is. Is he gonna die. Are they. Are they really gonna kill him is the saving a sacrifice I’m gonna

WHAT THE FUUUUUUUCK CAL IS GONNA SHIT HOLY FUCK

Please now iM THE ONE WHO CANT DO THIS PLEASE

STOOOOOOOOP IM CRYING

SHUT UP SHIT UP SHIT UP SHUT THE FUCK UP ATOP STOP

RED LIKE ROSES PART THREE IS THAT YOU MY BELOVED IS THAT YOU WHAT WEVE BEEN WAITING FOR MY DEAR

IM STILL WORRIED ABOUT JAUNE IF HE FIES I WILL NOT BE OK EVER AGAIN

TUBY FIDNT FIE BC SHE DRANK THE TEA WE STILL DONT KNOW IF ALYX BEVAME ANYTHING AFTER THE CAR KILLED HER IF HE FIES WILL HE STAY. DESD FOR REAL

The fact that she’s smiling as she grabs crescent rose. It’s so hard to save people it’s So hard to fight a battle you think you can’t win it’s so hard to believe you aren’t the cause for misery. But Ruby MADE that weapon. That is part of her bc she put her love into making it all on her own. The burden will always feel heavy. She’s not strong enough to do it alone but she’s not alone. She’s strong enough to carry herself though. She’s Enough and she ALWAYS HAS BEEN EVEN WHEN SHE FAILED I CANT SEE IM CRYING SO MCJJ

Y’all don’t understand how. Fuck dude. Ruby is my favorite character after Penny like Penny is S+++ and Ruby is right after her. This volume has meant so much to me and to not only see her SMILING IN A FIGHT I don’t think we’ve seen her GRIN like that in a deadly fight that’s usually Yang. To see her be so confident with HER weapon. You can come back to yourself. You can forgive yourself. You can have all the support in the world but supporting yourself is so hard and she thought she lost it she thought she had to be someone else in order to be better. But she didn’t. All she needed was actual time to grieve. To breathe. To be alone with herself to GIVE HERSELF MORE CREDIT TO LOVE HERSELF AS SHE IS SHE NEEDED TO LOVE RUBY ROSE AND JUST

I took my glasses off bc I just the tears

You ARE enough. Just as you are. We grow and change with time. We make mistakes. We WILL fail. But we are enough even in failure bc there is always another chance to do better. To be better FOR OURSELVES

LMAO FJDKDBDJDNDJFNDJDJNDJDJDJD NEO???!!?

So I’m pausing right here to say something I know people won’t like and I’m NOT trying to justify anything. But I’m going to say this: You can regret hurting someone very badly. You can regret hurting someone who you sincerely wanted to hurt. This won’t earn forgiveness. This won’t earn sympathy. Regret is a feeling you carry On Your Own. It won’t erase past actions. It won’t dictate how others see you in the future. It won’t make those you hurt forgive or even care about your sad backstory. But you can FEEL regret. Regret is not something you have to earn. It’s just a feeling you have. What you do with that regret is ALSO on you and if nobody ever forgives you then feeling regret doesn’t mean they should.

But Neo is allowed to feel regret. It doesn’t change what she did or how people will feel about her. It wasn’t written to make people feel BAD for her. It’s just showing she is capable of regret. Doesn’t erase the gleeful murders. Doesn’t erase what she did to Ruby. It’s just a Feeling.

No motherfucking way. Oh my god Cal must be convulsing holy shit bricks no WAY

This episode is W for everyone so FAR BUT IM STILL SCARED FOR JAUNE

BABY BABY BABY BABY

CUT THE CAMWRAS IM GONNA XEH AGAIN

THEY HAVE A LITTLE CAPE

THE HEART RARELY FORGETS

Sorry I was crying so much about Somewhat I forgot the actual lore of the show lemme pay attention

The brothers CAME FROM THE TREE

Damn thank you Blacksmith for giving us the stopping Salem from ending the world or whatever she actually wants to do cheat code

THIS WILL BE THE DAY I HEAR YOU

MY BOY MY BABY BOY THERE HE IS THERES MY SPECIAL LITTLE GUY

Ok so it’s kinda like Narnia it seems. The trip happened for all of them but maybe once they leave they will pop out with not a lot of time passed?

NO IM NOT READY FOR THIS TO BE OVWR NOOOO

Fuck me man

I am forever changed I truly think something healed today

[ckhanson81]

Best Of X(twitter) from ck(so far) CURRENT POLITICS 2024 [contra-dumb F*CKS]

The American Military and Intelligence protect Americans and our associated freedoms. They protect us so we all can live in a great country/world...without them...who the heck knows what.

any republican or anyone else who says our military and intelligence are "fools" or any other stupid term HAVE NOT been to war -not seen Anything like that so don't F*CKING Slander good heros when you wouldn't do sh*t and DONT KNOW SH*T About it! I don't know war either...

but I don't slander and call our military and intelligence fools and ingrates and feckless and worthless and *he/they/smarmy republicans do/does this because of abuse- and abuse from his father he hates the military and intelligence because of daddy

see this article on hurting/slandering our military/intelligence:

[https://www.msnbc.com/rachel-maddow-show/maddowblog/trump-trashes-us-military-leaders-dumbest-people-rcna120789]

h- he/republicans tolerate military and intelligence when they do HIS/their bidding- but oh, otherwise F*CK THEM AND so F*CK YOU Republicans- not all but the ones who do/ think this way- F*CK OFF

It is not enough for conservatives to win elections. If we are going to rescue the country from the grip of the radical Left, we need both a governing agenda and the right people in place, ready to carry this agenda out on day one of the next conservative administration.

(the above is from: [ https://www.project2025.org/about/about-project-2025/] 

*not all Democrats are "RADICAL LEFT" some are independents, some are capitalists, some are moderates, some are libertarians, some are this/some are that- the republicans that "do this/say this" make BLANKET GENERALIZATIONS- remind you of any other terrorist groups- ASSESS INDIVIDUAL BY INDIVIDUAL ALWAYS!

additional folks:

The Biden administration has failed us time and time again. Our country needs Republican leadership now more than ever. from this: [ https://gopconvention2024.com] *which times exactly Republicans- have the Dems failed ? which F*CKING TIMES YOU LIARS!

The Biden Admin has for example: a) saved us from the pandemic b) given forgiveness for student debt and loans for students c) brought manufacturing jobs/postions back to America en masse d) made America wonderful via improvement via construction in terms of transportation - see this : infrastructure: [ https://www.whitehouse.gov/build/]

this has only to do with me now:

I believe in Heaven and Hell- I believe planet life is a "testing area" of sorts? there are many Job(s) the tested one from the Bible- I'm not sure though- I believe that Buddha and Jesus Christ would have been good/great pals if they met/if they had met- and I believe they were respectful/are respectful- sincere- beautiful- kind-hearted- gentle-polite- this is my additional opinion- it has only to do with my belief set. I believe to believe in Jesus and Buddha (if you follow them/if I) then we behave sincerely as they would.

Heaven Bless America! life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness for all citizens and hopefully the World(s).

[spatio-rift]

mar... can u catch me up on inazuma lore because i dont know very much about endou *smiling brightly*

hi lab yes of course im no expert on endou tbh but i will try my best!!

as far as inazuma characters go endou doesnt have too much going on but i think its a good thing for him. hes THE protagonist, raimons captain who sets the whole thing into motion. hes also the grandson of a very famous, legendary soccer player and coach who was the goalkeeper for the national team at some point and after retiring coached another legendary-to-be team which the series is named after (though these guys were middle schoolers)(and also never won any competitions... it was kageyamas fault he made them have a bus accident and stuff (he was also a middle schooler)). but his grandpa passed away before he was born (kageyama again, around ambiguously the same age..."ambiguously" because i can never tell if it was from the bus accident or some other incident. but shits crazy) so he never really knew him, and thats kind of why he picks up soccer: its the one connection he has to his dead grandpa. (though his mom is really against it at first because she thinks its what killed her dad)

now of course he doesnt play only to feel close to him he genuinely develops an intense passion &love for the game (while staying hilariously oblivious about everything going on in the soccer world. he doesnt know any famous players or anything). the first part of ina11 is about how he wants to bring his ragtag soccer team to the top by winning this one famous middle school soccer competition its pretty simple. i feel like its kind of refreshing in a way that his motivations are fully about his passion of the game despite the crazy plot with kageyama, while still feeling like a part of the whole thing since kageyama "murdered" his grandpa (hes not actually dead but we dont know this until much later) and bc of his intense grudge against him he wants to crush endou and raimon specifically so fucking bad. but it never really becomes about stopping kageyama for endou which is nice to me. he just really loves ball

endous not the brightest guy around, but his pure, free love of the game and very genuine & trusting disposition inspire everyone to rally behind him and root for him. i think the way he trusts and believes in people is definitely one of his strong points and being given that sort of support or a second chance like this really helped/saved a handful of characters in the series. hes just a guy you can help but yearn to be friends with or play ball genuinely with :) (but while his tendency to give people a second chance or trust suspicious people as long as they love soccer might make him look like an airhead its important to note that he still has limits and there are still things he considers unforgivable. i think that makes him feel more real and also seeing him get angry about certain things makes his trust in and ability to forgive other characters hit that much harder instead of being mere words)

now coming back to his grandpa. a huge part of his character imo is following in his grandpas footsteps, kind of inheriting his legacy by learning all the moves his grandpa came up with, training the way he did, etc... and quickly after the first game/season were asked the question of whether its good for him to continue just imitating his grandpa. what is..........interesting though, is that the 2nd and 3rd game kind of both deal with it... but in completely different ways?

ie2 proposes pretty early on that being a goalie isnt the only path open to endou. that just because his grandfather was a goalkeeper doesnt mean that endou has to be as well. and then later we meet tachimukai, a cute little first year whos a big fan of endou and even switched from midfielder to goalkeeper to imitate him. the thing is, as we are soon explicitly told, tachimukai has a LOT more natural talent as a goalkeeper than endou does, and he masters his grandpas ultimate move like its nothing. he was born to play this position basically, which eventually leads to tachimukai being asked to play gk for raimon instead of endou. and endou has very mixed feelings about this, because while hes genuinely happy for tachimukai, he cant say that hes delighted about leaving the position that connected him to his grandpa (and he also practiced that ultimate move on his own in secret at night, even though tachimukai already had it so the team had no use for a second player to master it). but at the same time, hes grown close enough to his team and as a player that he doesnt need to play the same position as his grandpa to feel connected to him like hes still got their shared love of soccer. ok this is getting long but basically i love this because endou ends up growing a lot and setting off on his own unique path and it also leaves a significant role for tachimukai to play (who otherwise never gets to do anything since there cant be two goalies in one match, and endou is the protag).

and it couldve continued to be explored in the next game since instead of going back to a school vs school type thing, where endou and tachimukai wouldve faced each other as goalkeepers on opposite sides, its a world tournament so just like ie2, players from all over japan coming together as one team representing the country. but.... ie3 completely abandons that idea and instead benches tachimukai forever, because endou is back as a goalie and the way to deal with that issue of only following in his grandpas footsteps instead gets turned into a "endou needs to come up with his own special move" thing. and i mean the way its written isnt bad or anything but i certainly like it a lot less than what ie2 had going on that involved tachimukai!!!!

errmm i might have gone a little off topic there and also its getting really long and i dont really have much more to say. my memory of s3/ie3 is pretty fuzzy atp cuz its been a while so i cant say much about what kind of character development he gets cuz i didnt really pay attention (its the kidou disease). but he does meet his grandpa again. erm ok thats enough i hope this was informative enough !!! hes a sweet lad

[wrestlezon]

aew dynamite 11/30/22 liveblog containment zone

lets go

moxley in the ring promo

oh starting off with mox. thats great his intro will buy me enough time to get a snack from the kitchen moxley is such a tough guy :) love it HANGMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! OH I MISSED HIM… VIOLENCE!!! man hangman reappearing… makes me wonder about adam cole though, narratively… i guess the elite are busy with their death triangle battle marathon until, like, what? january? and they cant do an undisputed vs elite trios so cleanly with bobby fish gone. hm. guess we'll just have to wait and see…

bryan danielson vs dax hardwood

ftr bald ooo nice slide facekick!! willow versus anna jay later?? whoa dynamite diamond ring battle royale!! hmm, if ethan page is in it, they could probably have him win that and then both ricky and ethan can end up fighting mjf wow theyre just crowdfighting now. front row getting a hell of a show all this wrestling. theyre all tuckered out reversal reversal! danielson wins with the chokeout

lmao dax's no-handshake fakeout…

backstage with ricky starks

ricky!! whoa?? ricky ALSO in the dynamite diamond ring battle royale??? thats a lot. hes goin for mjf 100%!

backstage cameras with hangman-- and moxley

ooooo theyre FIGHTING my friend trying to find moxley vacation angles. maybe hangman will injure him (personally i dont think hangman has it in him. even if moxley hurt him super bad)

backstage interview with….. jas vs bcc

renee trying to get this interview back under control wheeler looks cool. ok i love JAS for being evil cartoon characters (unfortunately i wish theyd lose more) toss a hat to the man whoa weird cut claudio teleported right the fuck outta there lmao wtf LMAO "you wear suspenders AND A BELT" YUTA IS SO RIGHT ooohhh yuta vs garcia at final battle for the ROH belt?

jamoa soe vs ar fox

ok that was a typo but im keeping it. jamoa double belted up on a wednesday evening ok i went to get a soda. forgive me but i came back just in time to see samoa joe do my favorite wrestling move: Literally Just Walking Out Of The Way i love commentary during the PIP LMFAO theyre just like :| dead silence. taz is taking a drink and excalibur is talking offmic to staff. "SAMOA JOE…! thats all i got." tony schiavone lmaooooo taz: "he loves violence. he loves to hurt people. and its fun! and you get paid for it, its great!" so good lmao i am enjoying this match. i think ar fox is cool and samoa joe is very tough joe doing my favorite move again joe wins! joe! joe! joe! joe!

lmao joe is the KING OF TV. and its true! he has the tnt belt and the roh tv belt wardlow appearing on the big screen. wardlow's world look wardlow is cool and all but ehh…

powerhouse hobbs serious cinematic promo

whoa… serious guy alert

taz analyzing hook combat segment (in sepia)

i was confused for a second before i recognized what was going on here

regal in the ring

what the. whats going on there, in the ring regal introducing our guy MJF… nice pinstripe suit throwing gum at people again! lmao. mjf regal hug oh my god. those arent pinstripes. its "BETTER THAN YOU" written over and over maxwell. i see that you got owned by the firm. youre kind of a weak bitch. do you want my help? :) met behind closed doors. tell us about what youre gonna do with the firm he respects them. game recognizes game lmaooo like youre so above effort mr. now i have abs gonna upgrade the belt, max? lmao? what are you planning??? bu… burberry belt… it looks so cringe… calling out eddie? EDDIE??? PLEASEEEEEEE… EDDIE VS MJF… what? calling out bryan danielson??? no go back to calling out eddie why are we in this bullying danielson era saying that he is going to be aew champ until 2024 is kind of a tall claim but honestly since he loves playing off that cm punk playbook i can see it happening. he is threatening us. with SUCH a bad time is he. going to hit regal he did that was quick! he killed him… goodbye regal… bryan rushing out. sorry but regal deserved that kinda low energy but sure we come back from a commercial break for more regal send off this bit is so weird and low energy for real

AND RIGHT INTO RICKY STARKS' THEME LOL??

ricky starks vs ari davari

ey- oh hold up the firm are here lmao i havent been watching dark lately because my friends have been busy, but hasnt matt hardy been doing a "cringe on purpose" thing to spite the firm? i wanna catch up.. cool squash match with ricky man ethan page's shirt is so cool looking... im jealous

backstage with britt baker (and co)

still bitter about saraya i see...

willow nightingale vs anna jay

willow!!!! excalibur stop dropping the lore for other storylines during the willow match. im trying to pay attention speaking of not paying attention: willow's boots are so sparkily choking and violence! where is willow's smile... where is her optimism... she is getting beaten up by evil anna jay!!! punching out tay melo! good. get her outta here nooo dont get pinned by anna jay yaaaay willow won WHOA... RUBY??? RUBY!! GREEN

video recap about the house of black

house of black! theyre back! now what. OH! THE FACTORY-

backstage interview with qt marshall and orange cassidy

lmaoosjgogjjdlskfjl qt: i wanted this interview because we keep getting interrupted! anyway, i want a match for your ti-- orange: ok sure you got it qt: wh... ok but its no ordinary match, its a lumberj- orange: sure ok. bye qt: everyone keeps interru-- tony schiavone: WELL THERE YOU HAVE IT THAT WAS QUICK

jade in the ring!

birthday celebration? whoa jade is being mean to her buddies... are they gonna turn on her... her outfit? insane btw. incredible jade is so cool. lmao bury lil bow wow wait why are they legit having a bow wow feud on tv... huh... hmmm...

friday announcements!

qt vs orange! swerve in our glory talking! cole karter vs darby! jay lethal vs private party

THE ACCLAIMED!! backstage

lmfao the drill sergeant bit this is so good. i love the acclaimed caster is so tall...

the elite vs death triangle

wow they really do just have wayward son as their theme now. wow!! oof the lights were mistimed there lol just hold and roll with it oh wow!! the elite charged them on the ramp i was just thinking about how people were going to be mad that the death triangle were "keeping the trios titles warm for the elite until they get unsuspended" but this best of 4 series i guess is a pretty good apology for that being the sentiment has the match even started yet. so much ramp combat oof i hope kenny's ass is ok he looks pretty hurt about it that leapfrog slam did look pretty cool though unfortunately. but he did grab his cheek real fast after so that was a legit ouch i think (i am not a wrestlemove expert however) oh NOW the match has started. big chop penta fighting off the entire elite himself LMAO MATT JACKSON FLOATING INTO FRAME TO ACCIDENTALLY TAKE OUT THE REF WITH A KICKDIVE that looked so funny whoa rey fenix is really mad about hammers WHOAAAAA PUSHING FENIX??? GASP oh my gosh are the lucha bros gonna break up by the end of this series. over hammers this match is so cool. these guys are great at wrestling and creative about wrestling everyone is just kicking everyone in the head this match headkicks galore someone is whistling. i have the impulse to whistle back i am succumbing to the impulse. whistle whistle ♪ that was a REALLY LOUD CHOP man. between pac and kenny there are so many muscles in the ring right now. rey fenix with the spins!! oh no hes getting caught! oh the counter though! the counter counter! the flips! penta with the save! the tope that went off camera lol omg penta just running up the corner are they doing to 3-0 the elite or will the elite take a game? how tense are they going to make this to have a 3 win streak and then another 3 win streak would be pretty wild oh!!! the elite won

[sick-ada]

OKAY SO HERE'S THE OVERVIEW:

marie and callie swap, classic. marie still wins the final fest but she's the one who gets kidnapped and hypnoshaded

flora and bola swap. for those who i havent brainrotted about these guys at, flora is my agent 4 and bola is his roomie/squadmate/platonic bestie/whatever who's unassociated with the NSS. the swap in this context means that bola becomes agent 4 and flora is unassociated with the NSS

(flora on the left, bola on the right)

in my normal canon, flora goes along with marie bc he's hard of hearing so he literally doesn't hear her "rescue my cousin from the octarians" explanation, but he's willing to go with the flow when someone hands him a military-grade weapon

bola, on the other hand, is a lot less compliant. callie actually seeks them out, since her approach is to recruit the scariest person she can find rather than recruit the first person she finds.

bola is also less willing to "go with the flow." they dont agree out of the goodness of their heart, they make a deal: they'll help callie with this if callie agrees to help them out after (their goal being to fuck with squidforce as much as physically possible)

also in my canon marie and callie are field agents while agent 3 stays at the back and gives commands, so callie and bola go through the kettles as a two-person team

while bola is an octoling, they're not an octarian, and they react very badly when callie is like "man you sure must be glad you deserted these guys they suck"

cue callie having to beg bola to come back when they storm off for like 4 days

over the course of the campaign, they have to learn to work together and cooperate and shit, and callie is kinda forced to examine the biases she inherited from capn cuttlefish because she's working with an octoling and they're nothing like she expected

this continues post-campaign where bola cashes in their side of the deal and gets callie to help cause problems for squidforce. this means even more self-reflection for callie since now she's hanging with the Leftovers Squad (bola, flora, CB-808 and bubbles (my agent 8s)) and they're so different from what she's used to

especially since CB and bubbles are actually octarian, now that i think abt it. huh. oh and also cause theyre close with marina

meanwhile, marie is feeling abandoned/betrayed, since from her POV callie has ditched her for a group of people that marie absolutely does Not get along with or fit in with

marie does not get along with bola at all. i love bola but God they're such a bitch. callie gets along with them because she was forced to get along with them by circumstance and has spent a lot of time with them, marie has not and so marie feels like she's been abandoned for someone who hates her guts

bola doesnt even hate her they just dont care. they hate agent three though. fuck that guy

the distance between callie and marie grows and grows until the breaking point; when CB and bubbles get all their mem cakes back and are like "hey why did you cause a famine" and callie is like "we did What" and they all confront three who reveals they knew that their actions in splat1 caused a famine but didn't tell either of the others

callie quits the NSS along with bola (the eights were never really in it to begin with, since they met cuttlefish + 3 after pearl and marina in the metro) but marie, who feels like she's already lost callie and not wanting to lose anymore family, refuses to quit

callie can't really forgive that because holy shit we caused a famine how can you just ignore that so then they sort of become estranged! this is usually the bit where pops yells at me /silly

the squid sisters disband, and callie makes a new moniker! "odd1out" cause it's a combination of agent 1 and the leftovers

im so insane about this

do people wanna know abt the odd1out au

[9tzuyu]

four months.

note: hiiiii! just trying to get into the groove again. i dont know what this is. the original prompt is below, however it did not turn out that way?¿ its kind of a mess, but fluffy i suppose. i hope you enjoy :>.

using my own experience so don’t think i hate poor people because i am those people </3

(also chapter 4 of children of tragedy will be out soon, i promise. ive just had awful writers block.)

+ thank you moli for proofreading so i dont have to. i love you.

warnings: none?

prompt: * reader used to be poor and stuff and w/n is like “you know you don’t have to get the cheapest things” and R covers it up and says “oh this is the brand i like, but w/n discovers hidden receipts and asks why they have a bunch of useless receipt and R is like “i was just tracking how much we spend....”

🏷 @natasha-danvers @midnight-lestrange @whatiziz @kermy48 @mycosmicparadise @peggycarter-steverogers @blackxwidowsxwife (lmk if you want off the tag list because ik i dont post as regularly as other writers, so im just going with people who have told me they want to be on my tag list in the past)

and lastly, for my baby @nermalina. its not really your genre per se [ i have a smut fic that i’ll dt you on ;)] however, accept this as a form of love.

it wasn’t so much that you were homeless and out on the streets, but you weren’t necessarily well off either. working as a waitress only got you far enough to pay your monthly rent and gas. somehow you managed to squeeze in a list of groceries.

every penny counted, you didn’t have room for mishaps or sick days. thats why you kept your budget small and a stash full of receipts on the kitchen bar.

natasha didn’t know about any of this though. you were sure she’d have you by the neck if she found out how long you’d been keeping your secret.

the redhead was generous, and no matter how many times you offered to pay for something she would never even dream of letting you. natasha insisted on it, and you were powerless to stop her.

it wasn’t until you tagged along with her on a trip to the grocery store when things began to unravel. she only needed a few things, nothing important.

but nat was quick to pick up on the fact that you continuously flipped every little thing you picked up to look at the price tag.

“here, it’s the cheapest one i could find.” you said, smiling as you handed her a cardboard box of pasta. natasha hummed, “you know you don’t have to get me the cheapest thing on the shelf.”

you bit your lip, eyes suddenly looking back at the shelf of different pasta boxes. “i know... it’s just- it’s my favorite brand.” natasha automatically knew you were lying by the way you began chewing on the inside of your lip.

she narrowed her eyes. “no it’s not.”

“huh?”

“you got this brand because it was the cheapest. you know i can afford more, which leads me to believe you do this out of habit.”

you shuffled uncomfortably under her gaze. “no, i just really like that brand.”

the sudden realization that she had never been to your place struck her.

“y/n?”

“yeah?”

“why don’t we go back to your apartment after this? we can just relax, watch a movie, do whatever you want.”

a mix of guilt and shame flooded your body. but damned if you didn’t still give it a try.

“my apartment’s a mess right now, you don’t want to see that.” you tried, offering a small, dry laugh in hopes of getting her off your back.

“you’re a terrible liar.”

“i’m not-”

“i picked you up from the park today, just like every other day. i’ve not once picked you up from your own apartment, so what are you hiding?”

when you didn’t give an answer, she tossed the cheapest box of pasta in her cart and walked away. you groaned as you watched natasha leave before catching up to her.

“okay, okay, we can go back to my apartment. just don’t judge me, alright?”

she smiled softly, “it wouldn’t even cross my mind.”

soon enough you began helping your girlfriend load her car with bags full of miscellaneous items. nothing needed to be refrigerated, so if natasha wanted to, she could stay at your apartment all day.

your leg bounced in the car as you gave her directions. but soon enough, after what felt like the longest fifteen minutes of your life, natasha pulled into a parking space right outside your door.

you silently cursed yourself for not renting a spot upstairs. at least then it would’ve prolonged the situation just a little bit longer.

natasha watched as you fumbled with your keys, your hands visibly shaking.

“fuck.” you mumbled after hearing the clank of metal hit the ground. you bent down to pick them up but natasha beat you to it.

“which key?” her voice was soft.

“the yellow one.”

the door swung open and you motioned for natasha to go before you.

it wasn’t bad, really. apart from the chipped brown walls, the lingering smell of cigarette smoke (you hated your neighbors for that), the broken windows, lack of space and furniture that was as good as the floor.

natasha noticed the windows first, a sense of protectiveness overpowering her. she didn’t like that you weren’t safe.

you went to offer her a water bottle, but she wasn’t paying attention. instead, she noticed the lack of food in your fridge, frowning when you tried to cover it up.

another few minutes of her silence went by and you couldn’t take it anymore.

“look, i know you’re rich. i know you like to have luxury brands and that you don’t have to worry about whether or not someone will break in and steal what little you have left. but that doesn’t give you any right to judge me. i’m sorry i don’t live up to your expectations.”

natasha licked her lips and leaned her back against the kitchen counter.

“how long have you lived like this?”

her question caught you off guard, but you managed to find an answer.

“i’ve always lived like this, nat.”

she nodded solemnly before abruptly turning around to look at what was inside your cabinets.

“what are you do-”

“you have no food.”

you sighed, “well yeah, i can’t really afford it.”

“and the receipts?”

natasha was met with a shrug. “have to keep track of everything somehow.”

she stared at you a minute longer before finding the exact words she wanted to say.

“i would never judge you, or anyone for that matter, on their living situation. i know people don’t always have a say in what or why things happen.” she paused. “but i don’t like knowing you go to sleep every night with broken windows practically inviting anyone to come in and intrude. i don’t like knowing all you have to eat is bread, canned fruit and grilled cheese sandwiches.”

you listened to her ramble on, still nervous about the fact that this was new to her.

“so come live with me.”

“natasha-”

“come live with me.”

you immediately shook your head. “no, no, no. nat don’t even-”

“i’m serious. you won't win this argument, y/n. let me take care of you. i don't mind picking you up and dragging you out of here myself if that’s what it takes.”

a sigh left your lips as you folded your arms across your chest. “natasha, i can’t have you do that. i’m okay, i promise.”

the redhead raised her eyebrow. “how many times have you gone to bed hungry? or let your car run on fumes for as long as you could? and how many times have you gone to work sick because you can’t afford to miss one single day?”

when natasha was met with no reply she moved closer to you, wrapping her arms around your waist, pulling you into her embrace.

“i know it’s only been four months but i don’t think i could ever forgive myself if something happened to you and i didn’t do enough to stop it.”

she kissed the side of your head, “let me take care of you.”

[ravysu]

Sannin headcanons and thoughts

The last thing I would like to post for the sannin week. It is still 24.04 here! :D @sannin-central

This is long. Spoiler alert. Mostly Orochimaru, some Tsunade, a little of Jiraiya (because his story is pretty clear and spoken and idk what I can add). Also I recommend to read this meta about Orochimaru, it has influenced me a lot and has some good points. Sorry for any posible grammar mistakes. Also I really should put here a lot of references to the manga or anime but it was something that was piling up for a year and I'm soooooooo lazy. After all, those are just headcanons. Also: Im not excusing Oro's bad stuff here, Im trying to understand the reasons.

Ive already posted some hcs, here, here and here.

1. First if all, the chronology pic of sannin lifetime based on the info i found on naruto wiki and also some statements about wars from this post. It was tough considering what a mess naruto’s chronology is.

2. Sannin story shows what it cost to be a legend. They're like Team 7 but more realistic. Tsunade literally carried the war but left with nothing and developed a ptsd and have problems to just live on. Also anger control issues. I think she can be pretty bossy and stubborn which is not always nice. Jiraiya is the hero of the day but also very idealistic and can ignore some important details in the real word whether its the fight (he always injured during flashbacks maybe because each time he took too much to handle and on the one hand it's heroistic but on the other is a mistake that can lead your team to situations like in that Iwa cave) or your friends issues (I bet he saw what's going on but thought it's fine until Oro actually got red handed and left). He lives in his world and may have problems to get out to see it through someone else's shoes. As for Orochimaru, it seems like he was a normal guy for 20+ years (I mean, he didn't do crazy criminal shit and had something good in him and it was stated somewhere that it was his teammates influence. It is obvious they considered him as a friend, I don't thinks it was for nothing) but we mostly know his darkest side. Despite being a moster he is a human that have empathy and some ordinary human traits (man just decorates every bit of an environment he is in lol).

3. Tsunade was the leader of team Hiruzen.

4. Tsunade sometimes hit Jiraiya for some stupid things he did or said but never touches Orochimaru even if he did something same. Jiraiya complained about it once and almost got another hit.

5. Jiraiya had problematic parents that didn't care about him much and a lot of time he was wandering in the streets.

6. Judging by the look of Oro bangs and hair, he sometimes cut it off. A stress relief huh? And the fact that he doesn't do it now in Boruto..

7. It was shown that Tsunade and Orochimaru was acknowledged before they become a team. Maybe they did just before, or maybe some longer time before. I prefer the second option and hc that they met because both had no real friends - Orochimaru seemed weird and scary for everyone and Tsunade was Senju so everyone wanted to hang out with her but didn't really care. They weren't seen as what they were - people put the labels on them. But they didn't care about each other's labels and actually saw each other in true lights.

8. Tsunade knew it was an accident and it's not right but still she blamed Orochimaru for Nawaki's death for some time. It was something that seriously damaged their friendship and the team. Orochimaru was mad but also guilty, after all, he was responsible at least as a shinobi since Nawaki was under his watch. So he started to act cold and emotionless and was trying to distance himself from his teammates.

9. Jiraiya was in Ame while Dan died.

10. The whole his orphans mission was a bit irresponsible tbh. They already fought Hanzo and as he stated the conflict between Konoha and Ame is going to an end with Konoha's win. It's weird to stay here for three years in the middle of the war while there were other lands to fight. He left his teammates for some idea. Maybe that caused another crack in their team friendship.

11. If Tsunade would have find a way to live on with her trauma and follow the will of fire and stuff it would affect Orochimaru as well just as her grief affected him. It's like he would get an example that you can live on with this pain. So death isn't above human capability and we are not just the slaves of mortality (sounds stupid but i dont know how else to describe sorry). But as we know what he actually saw is that it broke her crucially to the point she couldnt be herself again. And so the death is above everything.

12. Oro wasn’t just acting as a cold pragmatic bitch in that cave but also tried to save Tsunade. Jiraiya knew it and that’s why he showed this sign to him like "I see what youre doing here" and that stunned Oro because he would prefer to look rather like a cold pragmatic bitch hehe

13. Just a thought. People in the village probably treated Oro as a foreigner or just wouldnt accept him because he looked so differently and had a weird attitude. That's why he sometimes didn't feel that Konoha is his home. After the wars where people were treated as means and tools, even the children, he himself developed this view on people - he dehumanized them and used as the means to his goals, just as his village did. Funny thing some people were straightly dehumanizing him too like Ibiki thought that he was a demon (tho he was a child). And he probably weren't the only one. Anyways the point is that it's logical that Orochimaru don't care about anybody but some few people, he's the product of his era. He's like Naruto that would chose the hatred way. But naruto had some good and understanding people around him and.. Orochimaru had them too, but match how Iruka treated Naruto and this Hiruzen's "I sAw tHe mAliCe in This cHiLd fRoM tHe BegGinNinG". And oro didn't even have a big ass evil fox in him. sry i hate hiruzen

ANYWAYS the moral of the story is not "go criminal if they hurt you" but always treat people like people. Waving my hand to Kant.

14. The reason why Orochimaru didn't pick some good morals to stick with through the hard times no matter what (like, idk, Jiraiya or Naruto) is because 1) I think he is/was pretty depending on people around him 2) the war fucked him and his friends up too much (Nawaki incident + Tsunade) 3) twisted addictions (though I don't think he's that sadistic, we never saw him torturing randoms just for fun, it was always some science experimental shit. He tends to get fun out of cruelty only when it's personal) that maybe developed as a way to sublimate anger and sadness caused by his parents loss (that's what they share with sasuke - unlicke naruto, they knew their parents and it's other kind of pain. Sasuke developed a revenge issue and Orochimaru - cruelty pleasure which... is kinda the same but less epic and more occasional lol).

15. Speaking of that, Orochimaru cared for Sasuke because he saw himself in him.

16. Oro hold grudges against Hiruzen for not choosing him to be Hokage not only because he was ambitious and/or egoistic, but also because Hiruzen was some kind of a father figure for him and his approval was important tho i doubt he was aware of that. He also probably could tell that Hiruzen was suspicios about him when he was a child and that led to many conflicts and was hurting as well.

17. Tsunade knew things weren't pretty with Orochimaru after the wars but she never expected them to be this bad. During the week that she was given in her arc she thought not only about how much she wants to see Nawaki and Dan again despite how wrong would it be but also was trying to bury all the good memories she had left of Orochimaru so it would be easier to kill him.

18. She poisoned Jiraiya exactly because she knew he would not let her do it. Jiraiya was always hesitant to kill and inclined to forgiveness, while Tsunade, as mentioned by Orochimaru, could be merciless (so much so that he was not surprised when Kabuto suggested that she wanted to use Jira for Edo Tensei).

19. That was one of her traits that scared Jiraiya and fascinated Orochimaru.

20. Remember how Oro grabbed Jiraiya's neck when the latter was trying to cover with hair jutsu? On the snake, in Tsnade's arc. Orochimaru could have easily kill Jiraiya by pulling the sword out of the mouth (arteries are right there) but he didn't. As well as he could kill Tsunade when she was still shaking - just aim for the neck or the heart. Instead, he just injured her lung and kicked her which is not a big deal for the kind of shinoby like her at all.. Also he helped Anko not accidentally kill herself but it would be way much profitable to let her do it. "Orochimaru has no feelings".

21. The reason he suddenly wanted to kill Tsunade instead of forcing her to heal his arms as it was planned (which is weird since it will not going to get him heals and he kinda said that he wouldn't want to kill her just minutes ago) is that not only she refused to help him (he thought he could work it out) but she also prefered the village over him (from his point of view). Out if everyone she was the closest to being able to understand him since the village caused her painful losses too but nevertheless she agreed to be on it's side.

22. He wasn't fighting her back in the end partly because he thought he deserved that. Somewhere deep inside hahah.

23. Tsunade got a fear to develop deep bonds so they probably weren't very close with Shizune (also the way she knocked her down in this hotel.. oh).

24. Orochimaru will be here when she'll die.

25. Orochimaru's eng dub to Tsunade: "I often wondered what it would be like to ring that pretty neck yours". No comments.

26. Orochimaru is either bi/pan or ace. Anything or nothing lmao

27. Hiruzen knew about at least some of the Oro’s illegal experiments and was okay just as he was okay with the Foundation all the time. Because it’s useful. Then he has discovered he went too far OR he knew everything and oro just became too inconvenient because of his methods. The way Orochimaru tells Sasuke about reasons they are well treated as the criminals is based on in his experience with Hiruzen.

28. As you may know the lyrics in Orochimaru’s music theme goes “don’t talk with the silence of the heart”. It was taken from one Indian song that also had lines like “don’t question life too much”, ”pain arose somewhere in the chest”, “don’t speak to the wounds of the heart”. Though I’m not sure 100% because I was translating it with some hindi dictionary with like zero knowledge of hindi

29. I like to think that this “silence of the heart” theme and the fact that he called his village a hidden sound village are somehow connected. The hidden sound is the possible explanation of all things waiting to be listened to but the truth is silent and you know it deep in your heart and it bothers you. The world is silent just like the life is meaningless but people can only hear. *Sigh* anyways

30. Orochimaru’s journey is the one about accepting death. When he saw Karin released her chains while was trying to get to Sasuke he understood that the death is a part of human’s strength.

Can’t wait to feel that everything I wrote is wrong or not enough or stupid and obvious lol. Anyways, it’s something that I wanted to share until I move to some other fandom.

[gemstone-roses]

did you know you used to be my hero

Sam Wilson x Reader

Summary: you have a terrible relationship with your father, if you can even call it a relationship, after a visit from your sister at the tower, you request to be alone for the rest of the day.

Trigger Warning: this will contain mentions of parental abuse, yelling, manipulation, swearing, smoking, drinking, angst. Fluff at the end.

I went back and forth on posting this pls be kind🥺

Note: marvel tags are open if anyone wants to be on them send me an ask!

Tags: @whoreforsamwilson @samwilsons-pillowpecs

You come out of school, little legs running towards your fathers outstretched arms he scoops you up into a big hug and you snuggle into him.

"Daddy you promised me we could watch the football together"

"and ill keep it, dont you worry, you gotta promise not to fall asleep though" your father teased, you smiled at him, excited to spend the night with him, popcorn shared between the two of you.

He did this thing whenever his team scored, he'd pick you up and spin you around the room laughing, and you'd be dizzy but it was your most favourite thing in the world.

Another memory washes over you as you sit with your knees up in the windowsill of your bedroom. Tears rolling down your face

You think to yourself, how is it possible? That the person who used to be your favourite person in the whole wide world was now the source of so much pain for you.

You think back to your conversation with your sister, about how she'd spent the week with your father's side of the family, relishing in the good times she had.

You want to ask

It's on the tip of your tongue, it's burning you

You know the answer

But you can't help have a little flicker of hope anyway

"did anyone, did anyone ask about me?"

Your sister gives you the same pathetic look as the last time, your heart drops and you don't quiet know why.

"dad did mention he wants to meet with you over coffee though"

Your mind races, and your suddenly overcome with anger.

He disowned you as a teenager, throwing you out on the street, and doesn't even have the decency to reach out himself.

Your startled by a knock at your door, you didn't shut it all the way.

"Y/n?" Sam calls softly

You wipe your tears, turning to him.

"yeah" you sniffed

"I just, I wanted to see if everything was okay?, you seemed quite upset when you brushed past me earlier"

You didn't even notice you'd walk past him.

"I'm sorry Sam I-

"y/n" he perches on the other side of the windowsill

"what is it honey"? His face is pure concern for you and you wonder what the hell you did to deserve such a friend as Sam Wilson.

"My dad, he, uh, he wants to meet up, and, I've not thought about having to do this and it's, it's complicated" you sighed

Sam reached out and placed his hand on your knee, he gave it a squeeze and moved closer.

"Y/n honey, talk to me" he encouraged

Your resolve wavered at his words

The tears you'd been holding back from him spilled out.

"damn it, Sam" you cursed as the tears fell

"my sister says I should forgive him, that it's the past and I was such a terrible teenager and he tried his best-

"Y/n" he whispered

"she's right though, I was an awful teenager, smoking, drinking, staying out late with questionable people-

"how old were you?" Sam probed softly

"He started off just being mean-yelling, telling me it was my fault my parents marrige fell apart, and refusing to talk to me for days and days if I slightly annoyed him, I was twelve" you looked down at the window sill, chest heaving.

You took a deep breath before meeting Sam's gaze.

"It wasn't until I was an adult, that I realised, how horrible he really was"

"C'mere love" Sam opened his arms for you and you shuffled into them.

He held you tight, tighter than you'd ever been held before.

"You didn't deserve that y/n, you realise that?"

"but what if-

"No!, listen to me, you, we're a child, you absolutely did not deserve what he did, you deserved love and affection and everything a twelve year old kid desires and I'm so sorry you didn't get to experience that" he started

"I, -

"Sam I used to love him. So much, and, I just, we had such good memories at one point and now I just think back and I'm filled with a mix of anger and pain and sadness and it just hurts sam-

"Where did you used to go? With your father? Sam questioned

"The zoo, the fair, we went to the circus once that was pretty cool and there was this really cool-

"get dressed" Sam cut you off

"wha-why?"

" we, are going to go and make you some new memories, some that you can look back on fondly, and with pure joy, and we are gonna go and have the best day, and I'll call my sister and she can bring the boys and have you seen Steve after a bag of candy floss? He's like a five year old"

"bu-

"No, get your ass up y/n, go and get ready and ill wait here, c'mon, ill win you one of them ridiculously giant teddy's" he was already pulling out his phone to call Sarah.

You pushed up from the window

"do you promise?" you sniffled.

"You know what, I'll win you two" he winked.

"fine, but someone's gotta keep Clint away from the candy floss, he's worse than Steve! " you shouted. A small smile spreading across your face at the thought.

[saltwatersweetner]

My Strange Addiction

Eren x Reader

You and Eren are never on the same page but what you both can agree on isn’t for the faint of heart

CW: Threats/acts of violence, verbal abuse, mild degradation, praise kink, mild voyarism

You were shaking.

You weren’t exactly sure what it was from. Was it anger? Shock? It didn’t matter because either way it was quickly leading to irritation and something...darker.

You didn’t mean to be like this. So short tempered and volatile. To your credit you weren’t always like this either but when it came to him it was like a switch was flipped.

He was everything.

The sun the moon the air in your lungs the pavement under your shoes. He was every extraordinary and devastating thing the universe had to offer. He leant so much to you—And he knew this—so who was she?

He knew you were here—had seen you enter the party. You knew the weight of his eyes on you like you knew the curves and edges of your own palms.

It wasn’t Mikasa, or anyone you knew he was friends with. Her intentions were clearly less than friendly, her hands playing in his hair and a dopey smile on her mouth. You watch them for a bit—undecided if you were gonna interrupt or not when green clashes with (e/c). It all clicked in your mind at that moment.

You stop shaking.

He wanted you to make a scene.

Straightening your body you lean against the wall behind you with a smirk. You weren’t moving an inch until he came to you. You thought he learned to stop trying to test you at this point but apparently he needed more training.

When your eyes clash again you let your carefully crafted public mask slip down—only slightly—giving him a much needed view of the madness swimming inside you. He was on thin ice and that seemed to give him a much needed reality check because he walks towards you immediately.

It was almost funny to watch a 6 foot tall man almost shrink in on himself as he kept his eyes locked fiercely to the ground. Sipping the rest of the cheap alcohol down you raise your brows at him “What?”

“Im ready to go home please.” The voice he was using was soft, unlike his natural loud speaking voice, he was trying to bide his time by appealing to your more forgiving nature.

Too bad he already crossed the line.

You hum “Oh you’re ready to go home?”

Erens nod is just as soft as his voice. He was playing the role of a good boy rather well and you almost wanted to give him mercy—but, he wouldn’t learn if you did that.

Reaching out you force his chin up so you’d make eye contact. A shiver runs down his spine once he realized the hidden promises of violence dancing in them “Thats not how you ask.”

You watch his adams apple bob up and down as he forces himself to not shake “Can I go home please?”

You don’t answer verbally simply grabbing his wrist and pulling him through the sea of people. You don’t say a word to him until you’re in your car speeding down the desolate roads

“Are you fucking stupid?” Your voice is like a bullet.

The silence had slowly been killing him if the way he’d been fidgeting in his seat were anything to go by.

“And you were being so fucking good lately, only to fuck it up like you always do.”

“Im still good.” He sounds almost offended with the implications of him no longer being good.

Eren liked being good it got him things but being bad—pissing you off to the point of no return? Got him more.

“You’re a useless fucking brat.”

You glance over to see him pouting, a conflicted look on his face. He wasn’t sure what he wanted you to say exactly. You would prefer his need to seek praise and affection would win out on his need to be a brat but of course Eren never took the painless route ever.

“I don’t see the big deal we didn’t even do anything you’re just overreacting.”

Overreacting?

The thin cord that was holding the darkness back snaps.

Slamming your foot on the break you move the car into park and turn to face Eren very slowly. His hands we’re braced on the dash having not expected you to hit the breaks in such a manner. Before he could react you had the front of his shirt clutched tight in your hand pulling him inches from your face.

You weren’t sure what look you had on your face but it had him squirming in your grasp “I will slaughter her and make you watch do you want to test me tonight Eren?”

His pupils were blown wide and he was breathing like he just ran a marathon. And still that stupid smile was on his lips.

“Do it.”

You almost can’t help but backhand him. The gasp he lets out is almost erotic and the blissed out look he gives you in turn is truly rewarding.

“Touch me—please?”

You watch blood drip down his mouth, your hit having split his lip. Rubbing the area with your thumb you suddenly press down on it with your nail making him gasp in pain “Hm I don’t think so.”

“M’good I’ll be so good I promise please please.” He was stuck between a state of panic and arousal.

He wanted to be punished so bad he yearned for it but considering his recent behavior that would only fuel him so the best punishment was no punishment at all really. He’d drive himself mad with all the things he thought you’d do and you’d give him nothing in return.

Letting go of his lip you turn back in your seat and push the car back into drive, ignoring the whines of the boy next to you. You needed a moment to think about what you were gonna do about that girl. You couldn’t hurt her—yet. All fingers would immediately point to you and—

Your hand shoots out stopping him from pulling his zipper down. Pressing a finger against his bulge you raise your eyebrows in amusement.

“Oh impatient? Thats not very good Eren I though you said you’re gonna be good?” Sliding your fingers down you gently palm him through his pants.

Eren was shaking his whole body alive from a single touch in the place he wanted it most. Breathing labored he stare at you from beneath his lashes “I am—I promise I can be so good.”

Humming you move your middle and ring fingers in gentle circles barely putting down the pressure he craved “oh really? Show me.”

Eren eagerly ruts against your palm, eager to please, eager to show you just how good he could be and you loved it. You loved when he behaved and did as he was told—he was so pretty and perfect that way. It meant you didn’t have to hurt his pretty little body but you knew him and you knew that when you damaged him—when you bruised his pretty skin, was when he liked you the most.

Eren tips over the edge without ceremony.

He pants like a bitch in heat obviously expecting praise but you offer him none. There was no reward for bad behavior and so you remove your hand.

“I—I was good right?”

Shrugging you turn the radio on letting whatever tired radio host’s voice fill the heavy silence “I dont know Eren, were you?”

“You...you have to tell me I was good.”

Raising your eyebrows you laugh, you know its a cruel sound with the way he sinks in his seat upon not receiving praise “I dont have to do anything...we’ll be home in 10 minutes.”

[liquidstar]

something the latest chapter of kaguya-sama made me realize is just how much better all of the characters are doing in their lives now because of their friendships with each other, and i just think thats so sweet.

kaguya herself used to be absolutely miserable and never smile, but then chika made her be her friend and miyuki made her join the student council and over time she became so much more open and happy, you really see just how important all her friends are to her when she’s afraid that she might lose all the pictures of them she’s taken, they absolutely melted this former ice queen’s heart. through the series she gets more and more warm and acts more like a typical happy girl. the ending song for the second season also makes it really obvious that she sees her friends as her happy place, an escape from her terrible home life, she really does love them so much. in the latest chapter she makes it so clear that her friendship with chika is just as important to her as her relationship with miyuki, and that the only reason she didn’t tell her was that she was afraid chika would be mad that she has a new special person in her life, but because chika loves her friend so much she’s nothing but happy to see her finally have more special people in her life too.

and miyuki of course has gotten a lot better when it comes to accepting his flaws and not seeing himself as a failure, he only ever initially drops this facade around chika who becomes sort of like, a mom friend to him, and since a lot of his issues stem from his mom abandoning him its really important for him to see that not everyone will. and later on its much more directly addressed between him and kaguya he becomes much more able to be happy with who he is and not push himself so much or be afraid that people will leave him for not being perfect. not to mention his friendship with ishigami who he actually confides a lot of his issues in, despite the fact that he gets his relationship advice from manga, but the scene of them laying down under the tree and just talking, while very funny, is still a really sweet moment. his relationship with kei is also very big, because thats his sister, but he also sort of fills the role their mother usually would have for her. and though she’s annoyed by it, its really important for her because its implied that when she was with her mom she wasnt exactly treated well, she ran away to be with her father and brother for a reason, and kaguya was the one that actually gave her the strength to do so so it all comes back full circle. 

but chika has her own issues too, she seems like a very simple character, a typical genki girl. but she was a musical prodigy as a child, winning award after award. and yet she was so unhappy with that very ridged life, she had no freedom and all she did was practice. you can see it in her eyes in the flashbacks, despite the praise and trophies her eyes were were so dead and she was so different from the happy carefree chika we know. but then kaguya sort of became the straw that broke the camel’s back that forced her to quit, and it wasnt really out of kindness at first, but their friendship ultimately is what made her become the chika we know, the one who loves to laugh and play, its like she’s making up for lost time and finally getting to be a kid with all her friends. she is very much the gifted child who lost her childhood because of it, but she’s so much happier now. not to mention her friendship with the table-top board game club! its not given as much focus but you can really see her thrive in something she’s truly passionate in now, she loves making games and playing them with her friends!

ishigami’s whole thing can be pretty heavy, its played off as a joke at first but he legitimately is explicitly suicidal, but hes able to get better with the power of friendship. miyuki was very literally portrayed as a light coming into his life when he first enters his room to save him from his isolation. even before that though, miko also helped him, even if he didnt realize it, she was the one that advocated for him not to be held back a year which prompted the student council to look into his case and help him too. he has to get over a lot of his anxieties, at first he’s even afraid of kaguya, but he warms up to her over time too and they develop a pretty sweet relationship with her as his sort of tutor. and very critically, he joins the cheer squad. he actually put himself out there and made “normie” friends and it turns out it wasnt so scary after all. and his crush on tsubame is so important, because she rejects him, but they stay friends. he never once feels like she owes him anything or “friendzoned” him, even if it hurt to be rejected he wanted to be friends. she was really afraid of losing her friend that she loves so much, those feelings of platonic love arent in any way seen as lesser. and she helps him in the end by making sure the school knows that hes actually a nice guy and that means the world to him. theyre still friends and that relationship is important to both of them.

similarly though, ishigami also helped miko before they were even friends without her realizing it. he saw how much she was struggling with the constant bullying and decided to leave her a note to tell her that it gets better, and it was an incredibly important thing that stuck with her for a long time. their entire relationship is defined as “two people who secretly help each other” because theyre both hold such high personal morals that they dont expect good deeds to have to be pointed out or repaid. and then when she ran in the election, miyuki helped her get over her stage fright so people wouldn’t make fun of her anymore, and because he’s such a nice guy he even offered her a seat in the student council where she’d make a bunch of new friends, and despite going through sort of a rough patch she’s still ultimately far more confident than she’s ever been and she’s absolutely ready to become the president next year now, finally achieving her goal. and her relationship with miyuki becomes very sweet as they develop their relationship in the “senpai-kun and kohai-chan” chapters where they just bond as friends, often through her weird emo poetry but he supports her despite being terrified of it. 

hayasaka is one of the most loaded characters in the series despite not being in the student council. the arc that focuses around her is even titled “ai hayasaka’s friends” because they’re what help her out of her situation. since she was a child she was used as a pawn by the shinomiya family, not unlike kaguya herself, and she considers kaguya to be like her precious little sister. but she’s also been manipulated into betraying kaguya by becoming a spy for her abusive family. and the amount of guilt she feels over it is so painful to watch, but she’s too afraid to do anything about it. when kaguya finally finds out, she’s not instantly forgiven, but for the first time in kaguya’s life she wants to forgive someone who betrayed her, and they talk it out, and they can finally become proper friends just like they always both dreamed of. her friendship with miyuki is interesting too, because they have a clash of ideals about not letting your “true self” be seen by people, because they wont love you anymore, and despite miyuki arguing against it, it very much is an idelogy he shared at the time. but when she finally does show her true self she’s loved, and in the valentines chapter she confesses to him, not out of love, but out of friendship. she asks him to be her friend, and her circle of friends just grows from there with all her facaudes dropped.

all of their arcs just play into the greater overall theme of the series, which just comes down to honesty and vulnerability with the people youre close to, the series may be a romance but it places such important emphasis on all its characters relationships and how they can make each other better, its so nice. theyre just friends and they care each other. 

[silvermahogany]

Talking about a few songs I associate with my favourite aonoex characters bc i enjoy shoving my music taste in people's faces and analysing the shit out of nothing <3

Recent chapter spoiler warning lessgo, also mentions of suicide tw

THE MAIN MANS HIMSELF

Still feel - Half•Alive

"I am not a slave, so pick me from the dark and pull me from the grave"

In my mind, this is his themesong without a doubt. Its reached the point where wherever i hear it it makes me really happy because I associate it with him so strongly :,D might just be because I found it while getting back into the fandom when Ren was kinda transitioning to my favourite so they came up together but either way, absolute banger. The bit at the end when everything drops and the lead singer belts his heart out, I always love to picture Ren doing the same in the illuminati uniform with Yamatanka building around him and I've never wanted to learn how to animate more in my life cause my GOD he's so cool.

My favourite song for my favourite character <3

Preach - Saint Motel

"Oh im down on my knees, mercy"

Its so happy and bouncy?? And the vibes are immaculate?? Matches well with the themes of religion as well, this one definitely shows his flirty loverboy side more, it gives the impression of some lovestruck idiot stumbling over himself every time his crush does anything and honestly, sounds like something he'd do. Good song makes me go :))))

Your Love (Deja Vu) - Glass Animals

"You eat us up, you live like you're on camera"

I feel like this one captures his spy side a little more than the others. The lower notes in the main verses give a secretive feel, like he's halfway through a mission and trying trying stay silent. But it's also flirty in a more smooth way than wholesome crushes like the rest. The lead singer has such a gorgeous voice too i'll praise glass animals until the day i die 🥺🥺 God tier song god tier vibe 1000000/10

Do It All The Time - IDKHOWBUTTHEYFOUNDME

"Now we're so young but we're probably gonna die, it's so fun we're so good at selling lies"

Now THIS is a song for a spy working for a secret deadly organisation, all about world domination and having a great time doing it. Renzou is a free spirit and loves the freedom of his job, and this song really captures that for me. He knows he's in danger, but he's living his best life and he's having a great time doing it baybeeee B)))

Sweet Talk - Saint Motel

"You could yell 'piss off won't you stay away!' And still be sweet talk to my ears"

Ren is a persistent little shit when it comes comes crushes and this song shows it, a song about a guy who's so infatuated he doesn't care if he's hated or laughed at, he just loves hearing their voice. I see this as a bit of a yukishima anthem tbh, I feel like in the early stages of their relationship it would be pretty one sided with Shima trying to win him over and Yukio shutting him down so this matches that pretty well :>

Cant go five minutes without talking about them can i-

Honourable mentions-

Talk too much - COIN - very flirty and cheesy considered it as his themesong for a while

Toxic - Britney Spears - self explanatory :)

Razzmatazz - IDKHBTFM - everything they make shows his spy side imo, good for daydreaming

Van horn - Saint Motel -honestly anything by Saint Motel or Half•Alive reminds me of him, great bands :D

YUKIO MY BELOVED

Yukio was weirdly a lot harder for me to find songs for. For Renzou i have a giant playlist I add to over time, supreme comfort playlist egegegeheh, but Yukio's is a lot shorter for some reason. I guess his vibe is a little difficult to get down but a while scrolling through my main playlist and I think I have a decent few that at least match his character development and plotline.

Stressed Out - Twenty one Pilots

"Out of student loans and treehouse homes we all would take the latter"

Pretty self explanatory really, mans was forced to grow up and mature way faster than he shouldve had to, having a high stress job by the age of 13 studying for two meister all while studying to be a normal doctor as well. Not much of a surprise he has so many mental issues by the beginning of the story. I dont listen to much TOP but the few songs I know seem to fit Yukio pretty nicely :)

Oh Klahoma - Jack Stauber

"Those aren't meant to bend, no those arent meant to bend"

Another song based on depression, but with a much quieter feel, much lower energy. I feel like this one more links to his tendencies of delf destruction, and how alone he feels as he faces his battle. Like he's singing into the void hoping for something to reply, but nothing will. Man :(

The Fall - Half•Alive

"I'd jump off and into your arms but i cant trust the fall"

I feel like this one highlight his story to Rin in a really realistic way. Yukio has a good heart, he's kind and wants to love his brother and open up to him he wants to get better. But he's so deep in his pit of depression and conflicting feelings over his brother that he can't bring himself to, he sees no way out. God I wanna write an analysis on his character so bAD-

Baby Hotline - Jack Stauber

"Numb, I've been burning with haste and I'm realising now it's a terrible waste"

We just keep getting darker huh, didn't pick very pleasant tunes for this boy did I. A bouncy, happy song about a girl calling a suicide hotline, lovely. But i feel like it describes his mental state pretty well, outside he seems ok. Sure Rin picks up that somethings off, but once Yukio assures him he doesnt really persist above asking him a couple times. But below the facade he's really reaching his breaking point, and I love how this song contrasts those two tones in a scarily natural way. Absolute banger

Fireflies - Gorillaz

"And if you say goodbye too many times, the sentinels will find me and switch me off this time"

One of my absolute favourite Gorillaz songs by far. The melody is so gorgeous, melancholic in the best kind of way. For Yukio I feel like it signifies how trapped he feels as Satan's son, he's hit his lowest point and he doesnt know how to start moving back up. But the song also has a hopeful feel to it, as if even though he feels lost, he will get better. In the recent chapters we see a moment of reconciliation between Yukio and the people around him, with Suguro forgiving him and tye two brothers finally getting a chance to to things out. Before everything went to shit lmaoo. But with that i really hope that after all the fighting is done, Yukio will finally get the chance to see how bad things have gotten, and reach out to get better. And this song shows that for me :D

Honourable mentions!!

Creature - Half•Alive - the first song I ever added to his playlist, there for sentimentality tbh

Cane shuga - Glass Animals - the plonky noises make the happy chemical go buckwild, not sure why it reminds me of him it just kinda does really

I Earn My Life - Lemon Demon - mans is overworked give him a break :( ngl i don't associate it with him much but i wanted to edge a lemon demon song in somewhere-

Dead inside - Younger Hunger - whenever I hear this I always imagine a really cool animation of him and it always plays out the same way and MAN I wanna animate so baDD

Absolute wordvomit woohoo, hypervocused on this instead if doing the assignment due this evening I'm a fantastic student. This was kinda fun tho!!! I might do other characters at somepoint, these guys are my favourites but i have a bunch of playlists for other characters like Amaimon and Shura, recommendations are welcome too!!