#we are. on the way home. sigh.
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((Wishing every [non-GMT+0] a very [time of day]
#ooc post.#readmore.#it's just my home screen world clock thingy. i have New York set bc it's what the average other time zone in my dash was-#- back when i was rping before.#i can't remember how i found it out before it mightve been like an ip address thingy. like. you could tell who was looking at your blog?#i don't remember but out of the people i asked aswell it was an average of -5#would love a way to find people in similar time zones to you. there probably is but. effort to look lol#i have Pup and K they're both in the UK but they're not on tumblr much/at all#.vat file#/rant off#we are. on the way home. sigh.
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A while ago I received a beautiful painting of Eishi in the mail from @kitsoa!! I've been meaning to post pictures of it but I so rarely have physical objects I wanted a proper photoshoot to do it justice <3
When I first saw this I was absolutely blown away by the colors. These magenta-maroon hues aren't ones I associate with urban cityscapes at all and yet it's beautiful and dreamlike. There are a lot of poignant moments of loneliness in this series and this piece really captures that feeling, in my opinion. I almost feel like crying when I look at it sometimes. Kitsoa just has a way with color I can never hope of coming close to; I often look at her artworks and think, "Ah, her brain's just wired in a fundamentally different way from mine." (NOT a lamentation btw-- I consider it a blessing that we are put on this earth to show each other pictures of that which the other could not conceive of)
I have it up on my wall with sticky tack (didn't want to put tape on the front in case it got damaged when I inevitably have to move away) and I look at it all the time. I love it so much!! Thank you!!
#birdmen#karasuma eishi#not mine#LOLLL perceptive members of the health committee may notice that these are the same flowers as the ones from my kaish*n merch shoot#and you may be thinking to yourself. wow. the colors of the flowers match this piece WAY more than the kaish*n stuff.#and well. you know. I actually DIDN'T bring this with me to the flower shop because. you know.#my merch gets damaged... whateverburger. I have more of it at home.#if THIS got damaged though I think I would go directly to hell do not pass go do not collect $200. so she didn't know about it at all#she just looked at my stuff and went 'ohhh what a shame we don't have blue flowers right now...'#(points at the bottom half of the book cover) we do have some orange-pink-yellow ones though#like the roses here or the [those other flowers. idk what they are lol.]#and I was like hmmmmmmm perfectttt actuallyyyyy#she even threw in an extra rose bc I told her I was going to take photos tomorrow#and she was worried the rose would have opened too much by the time I did it... sighing dreamily.#its crazy bc like. I kind of get it now kiriko.#and like in chorus too he has flowers in his apartment#but like I get it now. it's kind of great. to have flowers I mean. LOL
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wheres that one post that's like im gonna stop by the pharmacy and pick up a greatsword to behead myself with. i need it (the post but mostly the greatsword)
#l + ratio + allergy (we don't know what's causing it) + it's forever going to be unsafe for me to get tattoos (so i shouldn't do that ever)#+ i have to see like five more doctors about the eye procedure i want and even then the result will most likely be just 'no'#i'm on my way home from the doctor's appointment & like. what if i just get off the train and walk into the river at this point#nearly started crying at the doctors office also. that was just great#personal blah#sighs. i HATE it here. everything about this fuckass body is wrong in the most irrelevant ways and yet they stack just. IMPRESSIVELY bad
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Mission: to get an anniversary gift for dear mr nube
Way to accomplish mission: look for the most horrendous piece of decor out there
#ok he'll also have regular cute gift#but this man is known for his questionable decor taste#that actually sends me in fits of laughter everytime we walk by an antique shop#so i guess i'll have to vover my eyes and buy something really ugly aksjjakxjahgkañdnjq#he's been insisting on getting a duck pop corn maker#now that sounds cute but i promise you it's not#the duck popcorn maker is an ancient horrible thing that doesn't even make popcorn the right way#the duck has a blue hat tho i think that's whay appeals to him#unfortunately wasn't able to find it online but i found an equally questionable alternative#he has already promised to steal for himself a couple of disturbing chinese statues my aunt has at her place to set next to the couch#like in guarding position#and let me tell you those statues are the stuff of nightmares#but i already now deep down that one day those horrid things will be at home#*sighs*#i do love the silly man sm tho#OH BOY TAG RANT#personal nube
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Shoutout to the MDZS donghua for giving Wangxian their secluded home in the middle of nowhere, with a donkey and two bunnies. You dropped this, king 👑
#Some reordering of events at the end but i found them mostly okay?#It wasn't until i looked up the last episode of the untamed that i realized we lost the section in guanyin temple where wwx gets-#A guqin string around the throat. But tbf that was for novel's confession scene#The core reveal is after guanyin and jc takes it so poorly he goes into seclusion? Oof.#Lxc on the other hand looks better than expected. Even though huaisang had him kill jgy the same way#huaisang is outed as competent now lmao#Lwj actually told wwx the name of the song. Sigh. I had forgotten the untamed blueballed me on that#And they off they go into the sunset to their??? Home??? In the middle of nowhere with a donkey and a plot to farm??? Holy shit 👑#They split the drunk scene in two and then when lwj is sleeping it off post-guanyin lxc walks in and goes-#''do you wanna know how he got those scars?'' actually insane decision#But they get mostly the novel ending with a moment with a-yuan and THEN. into their HOUSE. With a DONKEY#Mf really gave lwj the reins and said ''now we're only missing a little one'' before a-yuan showed up#And right after a flashback of him and his parents with a donkey. Wow...#Donghua team really said ''two men a little one and a donkey. Can i make it ANY more obvious?'' and then gave them a HOUSE...........#I'll be going insane about this for the next two days don't mind me#Mdzs#Twilit posts
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why is the world such a negative place? why is society at large so focused on only what's bad? with the way things are now i have to tell my boyfriend i get the "reverse ick" whenever he does something that makes me fall in love with him all over again
#the concept of ''the ick'' has ruined the way many young people approach romantic relationships forever. debate me#anyway#this post is brought to you by when we had breakfast this morning and he spilled his entire glass of trashy instant coffee sugar slop#all over the table#and he just sighed and brought out a straw from a kitchen drawer and then started sucking his coffee back up from the table#schlurrrrrpppp#sigh. my heart eyes grew so enormous i had to take a picture of him. he's so dreamy#same way when we were doing a thing at a mall yesterday and he walked thru a café and when i meet him by the other side...#he's drinking a pepsi. and i smile and giggle and twirl my hair but i don't say anything but i fall in love w him again#the way you grabbed that abandoned nearly finished pepsi bottle off a dirty table and started chugging was so sexy king 😍😍❤️💞💞💕💖💖💞💕#reminds me of the first night we met❤️and he walked me home. and as we were talking he just bent down and grabbed an abandoned tonic bottle#off the ground. we were passing under a bridge and he just grabbed a thrown away soda bottle and chugged it all. there under that bridge#sigh....#reverse ick movement ✊️💕#pickapost
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i love trigun stampede as an adaptation and i always do my best to engage with it as its own piece of art vs. as a reflection of trigun maximum (bc imo that's setting it up for failure!!!) But it always baffles me when people try to act like stuff like vash or wolfwood's new designs aren't explicit changes to their characterisation haha
#rora rants#twitter giving me heartburn today sorry about this#i don't feel a need to tag this with character tags i just need to shout into the void#but just came off a tweet where someone screencapped a bunch of manga shots of vash with his hair down to say that#his design in stampede isn't a 'new design'#except that a he has an undercut now that he didnt in trimax but also b like#vash gelling/spiking up his hair is an intentional character detail. and we know he uses product bc water makes his hair deflate in the#emilio the puppetmaster arc#so what does this tell us. vash spends hours every morning working out and then dressing up. there's an intentionality#we see him don the red coat and the spiked hair every time he decides to step back into being vash the stampede#at the beginning of trimax after the home arc at the end of the manga#vash styles his hair that way as a conscious choice probably because he takes pride in his appearance and thats how he chooses to look#so to have him wear the red coat and have his hair down is fine and i wouldnt try and criticise studio orange for it#but it IS a characterisation change#and i just think trying to argue that it's not is really... silly. it's silly#do i think he looks better with the spiked hair yes#do i prefer what that says about his characterisation also yes#i prefer vash's writing in trimax pretty much a thousand percent#but there's no love lost for tristamp vash either#i just augh sighs#i understand loving trigun stampede and not wanting to see it criticised but at least be logical about it hahahha
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Ok looked at all the vampire f/f books listed on sappfic.com or whatever and. Thats not a lot comparatively and also I had an idea! Who wants to read the one scene i already wrote for it
#please cant we... cant we just have .... my idea written by someone else and better than i could do it by one million times#i want. to go to bed i guess#sigh.#wont anybody please make vampires actual ceo assholes hello.#that dhampir academy thing came closest first book was pretty homoerotic#read that decades ago (not quite)#my stuff#blagh ignore me i am so so so tired#and i didnt do anything for most of the day i hate this#its actually a series book one is about a zombie apocalypse in europe due to a new bioweapon and a student is on her way home from uni her#train gets bombed she attempts to go home but the zombies get her she is a zombie for a while but wakes up one day#still hungry...but lucid. her senses sharpened and herself more capable of anything. she hears a little girl trapped in a basement and gets#her out. and while travelling back to her hometown keeps her safe. then almost gets killed eating dead people for sustenance gorges on blood#but yhe girl sees her. then she comes across a guy she helps they protect each other and the kid. she keeps moving and moving just hoping#her family might be ok. the guy and her fall in love. theres no news no information why hasnt anyone come to help them how far has it spread#anyway they have sex she infects him he dies. shes mad with grief her family are dead (they arrive). the u.s. army comes in and#and seemingly offer aid but they find out shes undead / immortal they put her through experiments for 20 years (patient zero tests) the girl#is called elise and grows up in the u.s. shes the first sired vampire (she was introduced to the mutated virus at a young enough age and#gradually) and manages to disappear before she follows the fate of her lost adoptive big sister. then the first immortality treatments#come out. but only the richest families can afford them and its somehow carried in the living body. strange rituals. blood becomes something#you can sell at an ok. price. you can become immortal but only through more obvious indentured servitude. TAKES DEEP BREATH#ENTER jess and haley two normal u.s. teenagers no good families in a crumbling education system whose teacher is managing to hold on to#life by his teeth by paying his students for blood because blood banks are now all in hands of oligarchal immortal families and hes been#banned#getting infected generally means death only those families have the medical resources to make it go right#DEEP BREATH.#anyway#personal#and more - jess and haley become blood workers - sell blood for money. very dangerous catering to either criminals or elites or desperates#jess does get infected haley nealy kills herself getting the money to pump her full of drugs so she might survive. jess nearly kills haley a
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babysitting our kid cousins and watching them play house with barbie dolls is... very telling for their personal lives...
#sweetheart... why is the mommy barbie saying such undermining things to the daughter barbie...#sighs stressfully. i wish the adults of this family were... kinder??#its exhausting being around these people. the sheer volume of toxic masculinity forced on the ''boys'' to get into sports?#its all women in the kitchen. girls in the rec room (they get ignored or ushered out of the way in the living room)#we had to come early to prep food that we aren't even eating really? its all situated in the living room?#arugh.. its all so annoying. [gestures at our relatives] i literally don't respect any of you people#can't wait to go home#i think we're vaguely nervous? but too sick and tired of our relatives to actually be fully worried hjlgjk thanks jaded#sigh...
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Bought a stupid suit thing. Disgustang.
#speculation nation#i got it on sale but it was still kinda expensive. ughhhh#hates every part of that. it's so stiff and uncomfortable and unnatural feeling.#but business professional is the recommended attire... so to that i went...#felt bad staying so close to close but the employees were nice about it at least. and i still got out b4 they closed (barely)#i wanted to go shopping earlier today. in between class and orchestra. but allegedly attendance is required in the lab.#so i went. didnt really feel like attendance was taken. but i still went.#still gotta finish prepping my resume but i dont think itll take Too long... i got a template to follow#from my web coding class actually. bc we just happen to have a resume building assignment this week.#so by working on my resume im working on the lab!! yay!!!#except im not doing the lab resume rn. just the normal resume. the template is still helpful tho.#also need to do a bit of research into the companies that are there and the interview style thingie#GOD this is going to be a whole hassle. i dont wanna wrinkle my stupid suit so i shouldnt stuff it in a bag.#and i dont wanna BIKE in the stupid suit. so im thinking of driving up to campus. forking over the money for guest parking#do the stupid career fair then drive back home to change and then go back up to campus on bus or bike in time for bowling#hopefully. we hope. nonzero chance of having to miss bowling and web coding classes tho. depending on how long i spend at this thing.#ultimately career bullshit is more important than one day of bowling so like. whatever.#but i still want a reward for sucking it up and going to the stupid career fair anyways. even tho i Really dont want to.#im already planning on skipping my first class. he made it sound like it would be fine + expected. so we can go to the career fair.#and that opens up a good amount of time so. doing that. and then hoping i can make it to bowling class...#it's funny to imagine if i didnt have time to go back home to change. me showing up to bowling in a suit.#im not doing that tho. this shit was too expensive to risk it doing physical activity.#BLARGH i am so supremely grumpy going to this thing. i dont want to. at all. i hate all this Professional Attire bullshit.#but i need to... and i already went thru the hassle of getting the damn suit... might as well just go.#i will simply pout and grumble the whole way. until tomorrow where it'll be full social smiles and whatever the fuck.#need to get enough sleep to make talking easier. no time for any fun stuff tonight.#need to find my damn. razor. bc i need to shave my little mustache thing probably. for 'professionalism'. ugh.#kicking and screaming this whole way. man i dont think i even own an ironing board. gonna have to hang the shit up and hope for the best#longest sigh imaginable... i just wanna write....... or play video games...... wahhhh#at least itll be over tomorrow. but then i will have to do presentation stuff for thursday. ughhhhhh
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ggghhghgh as much as i love having so many friends now i would Love to not be the only one who ever thinks about group plans for more than 2 minutes
#on monday i tell everyone that 7:00 on friday would be the best time for Sonic Movie. everyone agrees with me that 7 is good and works#one of these people works at the movie theater we are going to and regularly reserves seats for us & get us in for free via employee perks#it is never communicated to me that they have not done this until 11am on friday#when i say that 7:00 won't work anymore because there aren't any seats left and they say they didn't know seats weren't reserved#i was not told that i was expected to buy tickets & seats for everyone. all i did was pick a showtime#i do not work at the theater#how would i have reserved the seats#i don't mind spending $60 on FOUR movie tickets as a christmas gift (ignore the eye twitching sfx) but just TELL ME THAT FIRST!!!!!!#TELL ME THAT /BEFORE/ I HAVE TO SWITCH IT TO 8:00 INSTEAD AND RACE EVERYBODY ELSE IN THE WORLD BUYING TICKETS TODAY#not even joking i almost could've gotten 7:30 tickets but then the last seats for that time got taken in the 10 mins it took to call my mom#BEFORE NOON. ALL OF THIS IS BEFORE NOOON#sigh. i have really been getting to know the hell that is living in a rural area when all of your friends live in suburbs#guys. i cannot simply do things on a whim on a weekday. you are making me ask my parents to drive me 30 minutes out both ways after work#(bc ofc they're all too pussy to drive me home bc i have a dirt road & I'm Too Far Away)#i say this with nothing but love in my heart but ohhhhhh suburbians. they truly do not know anything#yes this would all be way easier for everyone if i could drive but its kinda hard to practice when youre only home for like 3 months a year#and half of that time is usually spent recovering from burnout. but whatever my point is THESE PEOPLE ARE KILLING ME !!!!!!!!!!!!
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Suit's fun I just wish NWH let us more time to appreciate it.
#green goblin#he shows up in the night we dont see nothing and the instant light comes up he IMMEDIATLY takes off the goggles and hood *sighs*#no way home#spider-man#here's hoping next time we see a goblin green or otherwise#the makers will be like “oh we actually *can* add textiles and colors and such”
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*going thru a page i know will piss me off* man that pisses me off
#.vent#never look at subreddit r/petfree worst mistake of my life#look im not like. ohhh id kill a person to save a cat or anything righr#i love animals. there are many benefits to having a little guy in your home if you know how to take care of it#but man. im just gonna say like. if you hate animals like of ANY kind and cant tolerate pets thats my red flag alright#i understand like you dont have to get a fucking pet you not having a pet is fine and dandy and yippie we live different lives#but man it feels like people who are like Mmmm I Dont Like Pets I Dont Like Animals act like theyre sooo fuckin superior for. what.#complaining that cat and dog poopie is gross? calling animals useless unironically? wishing death upon pitbulls specifically?#i dunno. it rubs me the wrong way and i hope i dont meet anyone and find out later they hate animals. sigh!
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#art#my art#my ocs#beeleth tag#on another note no matter who ends up winning im scared about how trump will react to the results#im worried that my mother and my brother and i will be targeted way more often just because we arent white and my mother is an immigrant#my mother has received vague threats at work lately from her coworkers and it’s scary#im kind of glad i stay at home all the time but even then im still not safe#sigh#i just hope that if anything bad actually does happen we will be safe
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loveee when a character is crushed under the weight of someone elses expectations for them love when a character dedicates their entire life to something they never even wanted for themself love when the only reason a character keeps going is because theyre Supposed to and bc theyre supposed to make another person happy/proud. YES !!! CLAPPING !!! YES !!!!!!!!
#this isnt rly related to any character in particular i just thought abt this and it made me scream.#flirting at a bar Damn girl you look like youre trapped in a life you built to please someone else. and then i kneel down and pull out a 💍#sry i ran out of space for the full word ring. also why when i type 💍 Ohh theyre hiding it. bc now the emoji is 💍 Oh they changed it again#pox on their home..originally it was 🔐 sughested emoji#but then the second time it was 😭.... very anti marriage. well ig maybe the sob could be like OMG... YES!!!!! I WILL MARRY YOU!!!!!!#ngl getting proposed to is such a big fear of mine like. i dont think id ever be able to propose to someone so id have to be proposed to i#suppose but it makes me quite nervous not bc im like ohh nooo dont propose i just rly worry ill react the wrong way and theyll change their#mind. like its a very high emotion moment so ik i would be supposed to be emotional And i would be but idk if id do it in the right way . y#idk. what if my autism looms and i end up just being like 😐 on accident. fuckkk. what if i say somethinf dumb. like i try to be like YES !#but instead im like YEP! god. can you imagine. id have to just bury myself at that point. so embarassing. or like what if i get excited and#flap my hands but it was supposed to be more of a like. joyful crying type of thing... or what if im supposed to just be shocked and like .#Oh my god ....#and am I supposed to run at them and sweep them into a hug or do they do thst to me. UGH. ITS SO STRESSFUL. i suppose ill just remain alone#forever so I never have to confront any difficult situations ever again . Joke .#idk it just makes me nervous. but i suppose hopefully the person proposing to me will love me . that would be nice so hopefully they wont#mind if i dont respond the right way . and they wont be upset with me bc they love me eversomuch. a girl can dream i suppose... my head lik#is pounding sry. i need to sleep probably.. stayed up too late again -_- 8am -_- and im sposed to do laundry today But i dont want to . and#since im gonna fall asleep i fear it shant happen. UGHHH#wtvr. idk what my ideal proposal would be likeee. i don't want to be blindsided ig#i like surprises but Obviously im too worried abt like. my immediate reaction#+ i think its important to talk abt marriage Before proposing just so everybodys like#on the same page and such. Obvs... but ya. i dont think id want a super public proposal like. id like it to be somewhere nice with maybs#significance to our relationship and such. and its fine if theres like Some passersby but id hate for it 2 be like. somewhere crowded. or i#a restaurant or something#Altho if it was in a restaurant maybe we could get free food..#but maybe that can be just fake proposals later on. and our real proposal can be somewhere else. YIPPEEE. me and my imaginary future spouse#who is To be honest rather bare minimum#normal girl will be like Wistful sigh maybe my future spouse will even love me and wont scream at me and will like to listen to me speak 😍#but anywyas. my beddybye time. SURPRISE GN POST#woahhthis got off topic i forgot what the original post was this always happens. i do love characters like that
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mad & mad & mad & mad & mad & mad & mad &
#I hate how whenever I look forward to something fun I always think half-jokingly haha I wonder what one thing will go wrong because#there's always something#and then. every time. something goes wrong. and my brain is like yep we still have no precedent for things going the way we wish them to#and it makes a little note in some mental excel spreadsheet of a long line of things that went wrong when we wanted them to go right#and this is why I go to therapy lol#yeah it doesn't happen all the time yeah it's usually small things that don't really matter yeah I know things never work out ~perfectly~#but. but still.#I'm sure this is all fine and it won't be as big of a deal as I think...but I had been so looking forward to having a good day#and I did! I have two days off for fall break and my mum and I went to a bakery and had gâteau au yaourt and croissants#and we went to some bookstores and I got the iliad (belovedest) so it was a good day!! but why does it have to end in tears#why do I have to suddenly be reminded that I have one foot in the chronically ill pool#why do other people get to have their dreams come true seemingly so easily while I have to fight for everything#oh well. at least I'm home and don't have to worry about getting dinner. and we have ice cream. and I still have the iliad.#and I am still blessed.#it's *sighs* fine.#earl crow ramblings
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