#we are. on the way home. sigh.
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((Wishing every [non-GMT+0] a very [time of day]
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#ooc post.#readmore.#it's just my home screen world clock thingy. i have New York set bc it's what the average other time zone in my dash was-#- back when i was rping before.#i can't remember how i found it out before it mightve been like an ip address thingy. like. you could tell who was looking at your blog?#i don't remember but out of the people i asked aswell it was an average of -5#would love a way to find people in similar time zones to you. there probably is but. effort to look lol#i have Pup and K they're both in the UK but they're not on tumblr much/at all#.vat file#/rant off#we are. on the way home. sigh.
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A while ago I received a beautiful painting of Eishi in the mail from @kitsoa!! I've been meaning to post pictures of it but I so rarely have physical objects I wanted a proper photoshoot to do it justice <3
When I first saw this I was absolutely blown away by the colors. These magenta-maroon hues aren't ones I associate with urban cityscapes at all and yet it's beautiful and dreamlike. There are a lot of poignant moments of loneliness in this series and this piece really captures that feeling, in my opinion. I almost feel like crying when I look at it sometimes. Kitsoa just has a way with color I can never hope of coming close to; I often look at her artworks and think, "Ah, her brain's just wired in a fundamentally different way from mine." (NOT a lamentation btw-- I consider it a blessing that we are put on this earth to show each other pictures of that which the other could not conceive of)
I have it up on my wall with sticky tack (didn't want to put tape on the front in case it got damaged when I inevitably have to move away) and I look at it all the time. I love it so much!! Thank you!!
#birdmen#karasuma eishi#not mine#LOLLL perceptive members of the health committee may notice that these are the same flowers as the ones from my kaish*n merch shoot#and you may be thinking to yourself. wow. the colors of the flowers match this piece WAY more than the kaish*n stuff.#and well. you know. I actually DIDN'T bring this with me to the flower shop because. you know.#my merch gets damaged... whateverburger. I have more of it at home.#if THIS got damaged though I think I would go directly to hell do not pass go do not collect $200. so she didn't know about it at all#she just looked at my stuff and went 'ohhh what a shame we don't have blue flowers right now...'#(points at the bottom half of the book cover) we do have some orange-pink-yellow ones though#like the roses here or the [those other flowers. idk what they are lol.]#and I was like hmmmmmmm perfectttt actuallyyyyy#she even threw in an extra rose bc I told her I was going to take photos tomorrow#and she was worried the rose would have opened too much by the time I did it... sighing dreamily.#its crazy bc like. I kind of get it now kiriko.#and like in chorus too he has flowers in his apartment#but like I get it now. it's kind of great. to have flowers I mean. LOL
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listen i TRY to be normal about shows but i can't help but begin to write a half-analysis on human passion and how it drives people to community and isolation through the lens of characters who are barely mentioned in the show at all and the view they have of their major character siblings
#is this post about hinata or oikawa i wonder....#default about kageyama though because HIM AND MIWA. HIM AND MIWA HIM AND MIWA#i will NEVER shut up about (mostly tragic) sibling relationships#obligatory kuji brothers mention#i dont WANT to say the todorokis but i will because theyre relevant (thinking about that one panel in the manga of iida and shoto.....#<— .. talking about tensei and touya.. kill me already you guys)#i think exploring the story of haikyuu and everything beyond the main timeline and even the timeskip through natus lens would be SO#interesting#and we never see oikawas older sister like even ONCE in either the anime/manga but i still need to explore it#countless stories about kageyama going home after the whole middle school almost slap debacle and how that went for him#but ive yet to see one of oikawa that really delves into it?? <—could be a failure on my part tho#if anyone HAS a fic like that SEND IT TO ME THE LINK SEND THE LINK PLSPLSPLSPLS#i almost forgot to add the kyan siblings into this#okay honestly.. thinking abt it makes me realize that reki and oikawa actually share a similar view point about their passion#between their respective views of langa and kageyama (though totally different outcomes and details about said feelings)#which makes me ponder about how/what koyomi would see/think about reki during the whole thing#the same way i wonder abt oikawas older sister#do i even mention aya and her older sister?? do i dare???????#haikyuu#haikyuu!!#hinata natsu#hinata shoyo#oikawa tooru#no tag for his sister. major dramatic sigh#kageyama miwa#sarazanmai#toi kuji#chikai kuji#sk8 the infinity#koyomi kyan
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had quite the night drive earlier this evening.
#just me rambling again#web weaving#(?)#uh. one of my friends who is out of town for college was visiting and i got to see him and our friends and the only core member of that#group of people missing was my ex girlfriend who you may also know of as my wonderful wife#who has I assume been very busy with their own life things but has also barely and very sparsely had any hint of communication with any of#us within the past few months which I've been realizing very recently sort of hurts my feelings because we used to be so close and#they had been saying that they would be constantly making sure we still were in each other's lives. but then very quickly have#seemingly dropped off the face of the earth#anyways. I was driving aforementioned friend who is in town back home (family home not college obv) and when i was finally going back#towards my house afterwards my Google maps finally lead me to an area that i was more familiar with driving and i got to an#intersection and it was telling me to take a right to go home but i knew that i knew the way perfectly from that intersection to my#ex girlfriend / best friend / wifes familys house from all of the times I've gone that direction through the past years and so#i turned off my directions and i took a left towards their house#not super sure why but my brain and body just knew it was something i needed to do and so i went and drove down their street and cried#a lot the whole time and then drove myself home from their house once again following a super familiar path#and idk im still feeling very emotional about it. the fact that halloween by noah kahan was the first song to play on Spotify#after i made that left turn im sure didnt help (knowing that i miss them so much and am going to be leaving this area myself#soon enough here and there's been an open offer for a while now that they are welcome to follow and live with me once they get their degree#(and also um. halloween is next week lol)#idk i just havent felt the full force of how badly i miss having them in my life until tonight. when i was around this person i could feel#our souls singing in harmony. i genuinely cannot describe the feelings of our relationship in words i feel like only vaguely abstract art#could communicate the connection that was forged between us and the level of understanding and knowing#something not dissimilar to looking into the sun directly or trying to describe a vivid color to someone who is completely blind#something about the way the entire universe breathes in unison and everything around us are all pieces of the same stars#sigh#i miss my wife tails i miss her a lot /ref
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Mission: to get an anniversary gift for dear mr nube
Way to accomplish mission: look for the most horrendous piece of decor out there
#ok he'll also have regular cute gift#but this man is known for his questionable decor taste#that actually sends me in fits of laughter everytime we walk by an antique shop#so i guess i'll have to vover my eyes and buy something really ugly aksjjakxjahgkañdnjq#he's been insisting on getting a duck pop corn maker#now that sounds cute but i promise you it's not#the duck popcorn maker is an ancient horrible thing that doesn't even make popcorn the right way#the duck has a blue hat tho i think that's whay appeals to him#unfortunately wasn't able to find it online but i found an equally questionable alternative#he has already promised to steal for himself a couple of disturbing chinese statues my aunt has at her place to set next to the couch#like in guarding position#and let me tell you those statues are the stuff of nightmares#but i already now deep down that one day those horrid things will be at home#*sighs*#i do love the silly man sm tho#OH BOY TAG RANT#personal nube
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Shoutout to the MDZS donghua for giving Wangxian their secluded home in the middle of nowhere, with a donkey and two bunnies. You dropped this, king 👑
#Some reordering of events at the end but i found them mostly okay?#It wasn't until i looked up the last episode of the untamed that i realized we lost the section in guanyin temple where wwx gets-#A guqin string around the throat. But tbf that was for novel's confession scene#The core reveal is after guanyin and jc takes it so poorly he goes into seclusion? Oof.#Lxc on the other hand looks better than expected. Even though huaisang had him kill jgy the same way#huaisang is outed as competent now lmao#Lwj actually told wwx the name of the song. Sigh. I had forgotten the untamed blueballed me on that#And they off they go into the sunset to their??? Home??? In the middle of nowhere with a donkey and a plot to farm??? Holy shit 👑#They split the drunk scene in two and then when lwj is sleeping it off post-guanyin lxc walks in and goes-#''do you wanna know how he got those scars?'' actually insane decision#But they get mostly the novel ending with a moment with a-yuan and THEN. into their HOUSE. With a DONKEY#Mf really gave lwj the reins and said ''now we're only missing a little one'' before a-yuan showed up#And right after a flashback of him and his parents with a donkey. Wow...#Donghua team really said ''two men a little one and a donkey. Can i make it ANY more obvious?'' and then gave them a HOUSE...........#I'll be going insane about this for the next two days don't mind me#Mdzs#Twilit posts
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why is the world such a negative place? why is society at large so focused on only what's bad? with the way things are now i have to tell my boyfriend i get the "reverse ick" whenever he does something that makes me fall in love with him all over again
#the concept of ''the ick'' has ruined the way many young people approach romantic relationships forever. debate me#anyway#this post is brought to you by when we had breakfast this morning and he spilled his entire glass of trashy instant coffee sugar slop#all over the table#and he just sighed and brought out a straw from a kitchen drawer and then started sucking his coffee back up from the table#schlurrrrrpppp#sigh. my heart eyes grew so enormous i had to take a picture of him. he's so dreamy#same way when we were doing a thing at a mall yesterday and he walked thru a café and when i meet him by the other side...#he's drinking a pepsi. and i smile and giggle and twirl my hair but i don't say anything but i fall in love w him again#the way you grabbed that abandoned nearly finished pepsi bottle off a dirty table and started chugging was so sexy king 😍😍❤️💞💞💕💖💖💞💕#reminds me of the first night we met❤️and he walked me home. and as we were talking he just bent down and grabbed an abandoned tonic bottle#off the ground. we were passing under a bridge and he just grabbed a thrown away soda bottle and chugged it all. there under that bridge#sigh....#reverse ick movement ✊️💕#pickapost
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i love trigun stampede as an adaptation and i always do my best to engage with it as its own piece of art vs. as a reflection of trigun maximum (bc imo that's setting it up for failure!!!) But it always baffles me when people try to act like stuff like vash or wolfwood's new designs aren't explicit changes to their characterisation haha
#rora rants#twitter giving me heartburn today sorry about this#i don't feel a need to tag this with character tags i just need to shout into the void#but just came off a tweet where someone screencapped a bunch of manga shots of vash with his hair down to say that#his design in stampede isn't a 'new design'#except that a he has an undercut now that he didnt in trimax but also b like#vash gelling/spiking up his hair is an intentional character detail. and we know he uses product bc water makes his hair deflate in the#emilio the puppetmaster arc#so what does this tell us. vash spends hours every morning working out and then dressing up. there's an intentionality#we see him don the red coat and the spiked hair every time he decides to step back into being vash the stampede#at the beginning of trimax after the home arc at the end of the manga#vash styles his hair that way as a conscious choice probably because he takes pride in his appearance and thats how he chooses to look#so to have him wear the red coat and have his hair down is fine and i wouldnt try and criticise studio orange for it#but it IS a characterisation change#and i just think trying to argue that it's not is really... silly. it's silly#do i think he looks better with the spiked hair yes#do i prefer what that says about his characterisation also yes#i prefer vash's writing in trimax pretty much a thousand percent#but there's no love lost for tristamp vash either#i just augh sighs#i understand loving trigun stampede and not wanting to see it criticised but at least be logical about it hahahha
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babysitting our kid cousins and watching them play house with barbie dolls is... very telling for their personal lives...
#sweetheart... why is the mommy barbie saying such undermining things to the daughter barbie...#sighs stressfully. i wish the adults of this family were... kinder??#its exhausting being around these people. the sheer volume of toxic masculinity forced on the ''boys'' to get into sports?#its all women in the kitchen. girls in the rec room (they get ignored or ushered out of the way in the living room)#we had to come early to prep food that we aren't even eating really? its all situated in the living room?#arugh.. its all so annoying. [gestures at our relatives] i literally don't respect any of you people#can't wait to go home#i think we're vaguely nervous? but too sick and tired of our relatives to actually be fully worried hjlgjk thanks jaded#sigh...
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One of the topic choices for a big final essay I have to write by Monday is comparing how Alexandra Kollontai and Frantz Fanon depict the role of women in revolution and I’m like yayyyy nobody will escape my criticism yayyy!!!
#a dying colonialism is a hugely important work but ofc you’ll be reading it and going ‘okay but how did the women FEEL about that’#designation of private vs public is def going to be. hugely important here#in terms of where women are allowed and expected to exist#like you have kollontai writing as if private life has been completely abolished#the home itself abolished#worker homogeneity and the duty to the state translating as a complete dissolution of the private sphere#whereas fanon is concerned w maintaining aspects of algerian culture that limit or narrow women’s public visibility#the juggling of preserving the home and private life as the natural realm of women with socialist revolution#it’s really interesting.#either way women aren’t really granted a described interiority#w kollontai it’s bc the private dimension of the self has ceased to exist#w fanon it’s bc that interiority is deemed something inappropriate to make visible#*sigh*#maybe we just let the women talk#and not the ones literally born to the bourgeois class *cough cough*#edit: I think fanon does grant some interiority but it’s conspicuously only ever granted in the context of the revolution#he positions the algerian woman’s body as THEY setting for the revolution and describes the anxieties and grim determination associated w#this#while simultaneously affirming the idea that algerian women have no choice in this#that they are *required* to meet impossible standards specifically as revolutionary action#he grants them the dimension of martyr but presents no alternative path#his criticisms of the violence of colonialism on algerian women’s bodies are ofc all poignant and precisely deconstructed#but still there’s no reality where algerian women don’t have to suffer#it’s so. meaty. rlly love digging into it.
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Bought a stupid suit thing. Disgustang.
#speculation nation#i got it on sale but it was still kinda expensive. ughhhh#hates every part of that. it's so stiff and uncomfortable and unnatural feeling.#but business professional is the recommended attire... so to that i went...#felt bad staying so close to close but the employees were nice about it at least. and i still got out b4 they closed (barely)#i wanted to go shopping earlier today. in between class and orchestra. but allegedly attendance is required in the lab.#so i went. didnt really feel like attendance was taken. but i still went.#still gotta finish prepping my resume but i dont think itll take Too long... i got a template to follow#from my web coding class actually. bc we just happen to have a resume building assignment this week.#so by working on my resume im working on the lab!! yay!!!#except im not doing the lab resume rn. just the normal resume. the template is still helpful tho.#also need to do a bit of research into the companies that are there and the interview style thingie#GOD this is going to be a whole hassle. i dont wanna wrinkle my stupid suit so i shouldnt stuff it in a bag.#and i dont wanna BIKE in the stupid suit. so im thinking of driving up to campus. forking over the money for guest parking#do the stupid career fair then drive back home to change and then go back up to campus on bus or bike in time for bowling#hopefully. we hope. nonzero chance of having to miss bowling and web coding classes tho. depending on how long i spend at this thing.#ultimately career bullshit is more important than one day of bowling so like. whatever.#but i still want a reward for sucking it up and going to the stupid career fair anyways. even tho i Really dont want to.#im already planning on skipping my first class. he made it sound like it would be fine + expected. so we can go to the career fair.#and that opens up a good amount of time so. doing that. and then hoping i can make it to bowling class...#it's funny to imagine if i didnt have time to go back home to change. me showing up to bowling in a suit.#im not doing that tho. this shit was too expensive to risk it doing physical activity.#BLARGH i am so supremely grumpy going to this thing. i dont want to. at all. i hate all this Professional Attire bullshit.#but i need to... and i already went thru the hassle of getting the damn suit... might as well just go.#i will simply pout and grumble the whole way. until tomorrow where it'll be full social smiles and whatever the fuck.#need to get enough sleep to make talking easier. no time for any fun stuff tonight.#need to find my damn. razor. bc i need to shave my little mustache thing probably. for 'professionalism'. ugh.#kicking and screaming this whole way. man i dont think i even own an ironing board. gonna have to hang the shit up and hope for the best#longest sigh imaginable... i just wanna write....... or play video games...... wahhhh#at least itll be over tomorrow. but then i will have to do presentation stuff for thursday. ughhhhhh
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can all of you shut up for literally five fucking seconds please
#mars.txt#my bad days have started to snowball into bad weeks which are projected to become bad months and frankly all of you are making it worse#<- me being dramatic this is not true only a select amount of you are making it worse#who is you i dont know i dont follow people i think are annoying unless im physically forced to but sometimes annoying people appear on my#phone against my will and im forced to be the bigger person and not suicide bait#speakign of which im bringing that back singlehandedly we do not tell others to kill themselves often enough#think about it maybe if you really put your mind to it they actually will#depending on who yohre targetinf its probably a net positive#no money but the only way i can feel peace is to have a live tracker of every fsmily member ive ever had in my life constantly in front of#me like in a clockwork orange but instead of the horrors its just physical proof o ehere they are#at all times#what was a lifelong looming fear that gave me such bad anxiety i would be sent home from school in literally second grade has only been fed#like fire and all i do is worry and all ive done is worry for literally years and why am i constantly holding my breath and why does every#phone call from an unknown number make my stomach hurt and why am i realizing now that its always been this way#looking through my dad's old documents and finding cards upon cards upon cards and there were so amny words but the only one i see in my#dreams is just alien over and over again alien alien alien and then i look outside and i wonder if the mothership might come for him and#take him away and now alien spacecraft are hovering everywhere we go and everywhere he goes and it feels like im the only one who like cares#like this crushing weight on my chest and i look at my friends and my collegues and im like How are you breathing?How can you breathe#until i get to see my grandma and suddenly im letting out a sigh of relief thats been building since i was in second grade#anyways. sorry#just shut up though
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ggghhghgh as much as i love having so many friends now i would Love to not be the only one who ever thinks about group plans for more than 2 minutes
#on monday i tell everyone that 7:00 on friday would be the best time for Sonic Movie. everyone agrees with me that 7 is good and works#one of these people works at the movie theater we are going to and regularly reserves seats for us & get us in for free via employee perks#it is never communicated to me that they have not done this until 11am on friday#when i say that 7:00 won't work anymore because there aren't any seats left and they say they didn't know seats weren't reserved#i was not told that i was expected to buy tickets & seats for everyone. all i did was pick a showtime#i do not work at the theater#how would i have reserved the seats#i don't mind spending $60 on FOUR movie tickets as a christmas gift (ignore the eye twitching sfx) but just TELL ME THAT FIRST!!!!!!#TELL ME THAT /BEFORE/ I HAVE TO SWITCH IT TO 8:00 INSTEAD AND RACE EVERYBODY ELSE IN THE WORLD BUYING TICKETS TODAY#not even joking i almost could've gotten 7:30 tickets but then the last seats for that time got taken in the 10 mins it took to call my mom#BEFORE NOON. ALL OF THIS IS BEFORE NOOON#sigh. i have really been getting to know the hell that is living in a rural area when all of your friends live in suburbs#guys. i cannot simply do things on a whim on a weekday. you are making me ask my parents to drive me 30 minutes out both ways after work#(bc ofc they're all too pussy to drive me home bc i have a dirt road & I'm Too Far Away)#i say this with nothing but love in my heart but ohhhhhh suburbians. they truly do not know anything#yes this would all be way easier for everyone if i could drive but its kinda hard to practice when youre only home for like 3 months a year#and half of that time is usually spent recovering from burnout. but whatever my point is THESE PEOPLE ARE KILLING ME !!!!!!!!!!!!
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Suit's fun I just wish NWH let us more time to appreciate it.
#green goblin#he shows up in the night we dont see nothing and the instant light comes up he IMMEDIATLY takes off the goggles and hood *sighs*#no way home#spider-man#here's hoping next time we see a goblin green or otherwise#the makers will be like “oh we actually *can* add textiles and colors and such”
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*going thru a page i know will piss me off* man that pisses me off
#.vent#never look at subreddit r/petfree worst mistake of my life#look im not like. ohhh id kill a person to save a cat or anything righr#i love animals. there are many benefits to having a little guy in your home if you know how to take care of it#but man. im just gonna say like. if you hate animals like of ANY kind and cant tolerate pets thats my red flag alright#i understand like you dont have to get a fucking pet you not having a pet is fine and dandy and yippie we live different lives#but man it feels like people who are like Mmmm I Dont Like Pets I Dont Like Animals act like theyre sooo fuckin superior for. what.#complaining that cat and dog poopie is gross? calling animals useless unironically? wishing death upon pitbulls specifically?#i dunno. it rubs me the wrong way and i hope i dont meet anyone and find out later they hate animals. sigh!
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#art#my art#my ocs#beeleth tag#on another note no matter who ends up winning im scared about how trump will react to the results#im worried that my mother and my brother and i will be targeted way more often just because we arent white and my mother is an immigrant#my mother has received vague threats at work lately from her coworkers and it’s scary#im kind of glad i stay at home all the time but even then im still not safe#sigh#i just hope that if anything bad actually does happen we will be safe
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