#we are. on the way home. sigh.
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((Wishing every [non-GMT+0] a very [time of day]
#ooc post.#readmore.#it's just my home screen world clock thingy. i have New York set bc it's what the average other time zone in my dash was-#- back when i was rping before.#i can't remember how i found it out before it mightve been like an ip address thingy. like. you could tell who was looking at your blog?#i don't remember but out of the people i asked aswell it was an average of -5#would love a way to find people in similar time zones to you. there probably is but. effort to look lol#i have Pup and K they're both in the UK but they're not on tumblr much/at all#.vat file#/rant off#we are. on the way home. sigh.
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A while ago I received a beautiful painting of Eishi in the mail from @kitsoa!! I've been meaning to post pictures of it but I so rarely have physical objects I wanted a proper photoshoot to do it justice <3
When I first saw this I was absolutely blown away by the colors. These magenta-maroon hues aren't ones I associate with urban cityscapes at all and yet it's beautiful and dreamlike. There are a lot of poignant moments of loneliness in this series and this piece really captures that feeling, in my opinion. I almost feel like crying when I look at it sometimes. Kitsoa just has a way with color I can never hope of coming close to; I often look at her artworks and think, "Ah, her brain's just wired in a fundamentally different way from mine." (NOT a lamentation btw-- I consider it a blessing that we are put on this earth to show each other pictures of that which the other could not conceive of)
I have it up on my wall with sticky tack (didn't want to put tape on the front in case it got damaged when I inevitably have to move away) and I look at it all the time. I love it so much!! Thank you!!
#birdmen#karasuma eishi#not mine#LOLLL perceptive members of the health committee may notice that these are the same flowers as the ones from my kaish*n merch shoot#and you may be thinking to yourself. wow. the colors of the flowers match this piece WAY more than the kaish*n stuff.#and well. you know. I actually DIDN'T bring this with me to the flower shop because. you know.#my merch gets damaged... whateverburger. I have more of it at home.#if THIS got damaged though I think I would go directly to hell do not pass go do not collect $200. so she didn't know about it at all#she just looked at my stuff and went 'ohhh what a shame we don't have blue flowers right now...'#(points at the bottom half of the book cover) we do have some orange-pink-yellow ones though#like the roses here or the [those other flowers. idk what they are lol.]#and I was like hmmmmmmm perfectttt actuallyyyyy#she even threw in an extra rose bc I told her I was going to take photos tomorrow#and she was worried the rose would have opened too much by the time I did it... sighing dreamily.#its crazy bc like. I kind of get it now kiriko.#and like in chorus too he has flowers in his apartment#but like I get it now. it's kind of great. to have flowers I mean. LOL
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listen i TRY to be normal about shows but i can't help but begin to write a half-analysis on human passion and how it drives people to community and isolation through the lens of characters who are barely mentioned in the show at all and the view they have of their major character siblings
#is this post about hinata or oikawa i wonder....#default about kageyama though because HIM AND MIWA. HIM AND MIWA HIM AND MIWA#i will NEVER shut up about (mostly tragic) sibling relationships#obligatory kuji brothers mention#i dont WANT to say the todorokis but i will because theyre relevant (thinking about that one panel in the manga of iida and shoto.....#<— .. talking about tensei and touya.. kill me already you guys)#i think exploring the story of haikyuu and everything beyond the main timeline and even the timeskip through natus lens would be SO#interesting#and we never see oikawas older sister like even ONCE in either the anime/manga but i still need to explore it#countless stories about kageyama going home after the whole middle school almost slap debacle and how that went for him#but ive yet to see one of oikawa that really delves into it?? <—could be a failure on my part tho#if anyone HAS a fic like that SEND IT TO ME THE LINK SEND THE LINK PLSPLSPLSPLS#i almost forgot to add the kyan siblings into this#okay honestly.. thinking abt it makes me realize that reki and oikawa actually share a similar view point about their passion#between their respective views of langa and kageyama (though totally different outcomes and details about said feelings)#which makes me ponder about how/what koyomi would see/think about reki during the whole thing#the same way i wonder abt oikawas older sister#do i even mention aya and her older sister?? do i dare???????#haikyuu#haikyuu!!#hinata natsu#hinata shoyo#oikawa tooru#no tag for his sister. major dramatic sigh#kageyama miwa#sarazanmai#toi kuji#chikai kuji#sk8 the infinity#koyomi kyan
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Mission: to get an anniversary gift for dear mr nube
Way to accomplish mission: look for the most horrendous piece of decor out there
#ok he'll also have regular cute gift#but this man is known for his questionable decor taste#that actually sends me in fits of laughter everytime we walk by an antique shop#so i guess i'll have to vover my eyes and buy something really ugly aksjjakxjahgkañdnjq#he's been insisting on getting a duck pop corn maker#now that sounds cute but i promise you it's not#the duck popcorn maker is an ancient horrible thing that doesn't even make popcorn the right way#the duck has a blue hat tho i think that's whay appeals to him#unfortunately wasn't able to find it online but i found an equally questionable alternative#he has already promised to steal for himself a couple of disturbing chinese statues my aunt has at her place to set next to the couch#like in guarding position#and let me tell you those statues are the stuff of nightmares#but i already now deep down that one day those horrid things will be at home#*sighs*#i do love the silly man sm tho#OH BOY TAG RANT#personal nube
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Shoutout to the MDZS donghua for giving Wangxian their secluded home in the middle of nowhere, with a donkey and two bunnies. You dropped this, king 👑
#Some reordering of events at the end but i found them mostly okay?#It wasn't until i looked up the last episode of the untamed that i realized we lost the section in guanyin temple where wwx gets-#A guqin string around the throat. But tbf that was for novel's confession scene#The core reveal is after guanyin and jc takes it so poorly he goes into seclusion? Oof.#Lxc on the other hand looks better than expected. Even though huaisang had him kill jgy the same way#huaisang is outed as competent now lmao#Lwj actually told wwx the name of the song. Sigh. I had forgotten the untamed blueballed me on that#And they off they go into the sunset to their??? Home??? In the middle of nowhere with a donkey and a plot to farm??? Holy shit 👑#They split the drunk scene in two and then when lwj is sleeping it off post-guanyin lxc walks in and goes-#''do you wanna know how he got those scars?'' actually insane decision#But they get mostly the novel ending with a moment with a-yuan and THEN. into their HOUSE. With a DONKEY#Mf really gave lwj the reins and said ''now we're only missing a little one'' before a-yuan showed up#And right after a flashback of him and his parents with a donkey. Wow...#Donghua team really said ''two men a little one and a donkey. Can i make it ANY more obvious?'' and then gave them a HOUSE...........#I'll be going insane about this for the next two days don't mind me#Mdzs#Twilit posts
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i love trigun stampede as an adaptation and i always do my best to engage with it as its own piece of art vs. as a reflection of trigun maximum (bc imo that's setting it up for failure!!!) But it always baffles me when people try to act like stuff like vash or wolfwood's new designs aren't explicit changes to their characterisation haha
#rora rants#twitter giving me heartburn today sorry about this#i don't feel a need to tag this with character tags i just need to shout into the void#but just came off a tweet where someone screencapped a bunch of manga shots of vash with his hair down to say that#his design in stampede isn't a 'new design'#except that a he has an undercut now that he didnt in trimax but also b like#vash gelling/spiking up his hair is an intentional character detail. and we know he uses product bc water makes his hair deflate in the#emilio the puppetmaster arc#so what does this tell us. vash spends hours every morning working out and then dressing up. there's an intentionality#we see him don the red coat and the spiked hair every time he decides to step back into being vash the stampede#at the beginning of trimax after the home arc at the end of the manga#vash styles his hair that way as a conscious choice probably because he takes pride in his appearance and thats how he chooses to look#so to have him wear the red coat and have his hair down is fine and i wouldnt try and criticise studio orange for it#but it IS a characterisation change#and i just think trying to argue that it's not is really... silly. it's silly#do i think he looks better with the spiked hair yes#do i prefer what that says about his characterisation also yes#i prefer vash's writing in trimax pretty much a thousand percent#but there's no love lost for tristamp vash either#i just augh sighs#i understand loving trigun stampede and not wanting to see it criticised but at least be logical about it hahahha
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One of the topic choices for a big final essay I have to write by Monday is comparing how Alexandra Kollontai and Frantz Fanon depict the role of women in revolution and I’m like yayyyy nobody will escape my criticism yayyy!!!
#a dying colonialism is a hugely important work but ofc you’ll be reading it and going ‘okay but how did the women FEEL about that’#designation of private vs public is def going to be. hugely important here#in terms of where women are allowed and expected to exist#like you have kollontai writing as if private life has been completely abolished#the home itself abolished#worker homogeneity and the duty to the state translating as a complete dissolution of the private sphere#whereas fanon is concerned w maintaining aspects of algerian culture that limit or narrow women’s public visibility#the juggling of preserving the home and private life as the natural realm of women with socialist revolution#it’s really interesting.#either way women aren’t really granted a described interiority#w kollontai it’s bc the private dimension of the self has ceased to exist#w fanon it’s bc that interiority is deemed something inappropriate to make visible#*sigh*#maybe we just let the women talk#and not the ones literally born to the bourgeois class *cough cough*#edit: I think fanon does grant some interiority but it’s conspicuously only ever granted in the context of the revolution#he positions the algerian woman’s body as THEY setting for the revolution and describes the anxieties and grim determination associated w#this#while simultaneously affirming the idea that algerian women have no choice in this#that they are *required* to meet impossible standards specifically as revolutionary action#he grants them the dimension of martyr but presents no alternative path#his criticisms of the violence of colonialism on algerian women’s bodies are ofc all poignant and precisely deconstructed#but still there’s no reality where algerian women don’t have to suffer#it’s so. meaty. rlly love digging into it.
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ggghhghgh as much as i love having so many friends now i would Love to not be the only one who ever thinks about group plans for more than 2 minutes
#on monday i tell everyone that 7:00 on friday would be the best time for Sonic Movie. everyone agrees with me that 7 is good and works#one of these people works at the movie theater we are going to and regularly reserves seats for us & get us in for free via employee perks#it is never communicated to me that they have not done this until 11am on friday#when i say that 7:00 won't work anymore because there aren't any seats left and they say they didn't know seats weren't reserved#i was not told that i was expected to buy tickets & seats for everyone. all i did was pick a showtime#i do not work at the theater#how would i have reserved the seats#i don't mind spending $60 on FOUR movie tickets as a christmas gift (ignore the eye twitching sfx) but just TELL ME THAT FIRST!!!!!!#TELL ME THAT /BEFORE/ I HAVE TO SWITCH IT TO 8:00 INSTEAD AND RACE EVERYBODY ELSE IN THE WORLD BUYING TICKETS TODAY#not even joking i almost could've gotten 7:30 tickets but then the last seats for that time got taken in the 10 mins it took to call my mom#BEFORE NOON. ALL OF THIS IS BEFORE NOOON#sigh. i have really been getting to know the hell that is living in a rural area when all of your friends live in suburbs#guys. i cannot simply do things on a whim on a weekday. you are making me ask my parents to drive me 30 minutes out both ways after work#(bc ofc they're all too pussy to drive me home bc i have a dirt road & I'm Too Far Away)#i say this with nothing but love in my heart but ohhhhhh suburbians. they truly do not know anything#yes this would all be way easier for everyone if i could drive but its kinda hard to practice when youre only home for like 3 months a year#and half of that time is usually spent recovering from burnout. but whatever my point is THESE PEOPLE ARE KILLING ME !!!!!!!!!!!!
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Suit's fun I just wish NWH let us more time to appreciate it.
#green goblin#he shows up in the night we dont see nothing and the instant light comes up he IMMEDIATLY takes off the goggles and hood *sighs*#no way home#spider-man#here's hoping next time we see a goblin green or otherwise#the makers will be like “oh we actually *can* add textiles and colors and such”
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*going thru a page i know will piss me off* man that pisses me off
#.vent#never look at subreddit r/petfree worst mistake of my life#look im not like. ohhh id kill a person to save a cat or anything righr#i love animals. there are many benefits to having a little guy in your home if you know how to take care of it#but man. im just gonna say like. if you hate animals like of ANY kind and cant tolerate pets thats my red flag alright#i understand like you dont have to get a fucking pet you not having a pet is fine and dandy and yippie we live different lives#but man it feels like people who are like Mmmm I Dont Like Pets I Dont Like Animals act like theyre sooo fuckin superior for. what.#complaining that cat and dog poopie is gross? calling animals useless unironically? wishing death upon pitbulls specifically?#i dunno. it rubs me the wrong way and i hope i dont meet anyone and find out later they hate animals. sigh!
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#art#my art#my ocs#beeleth tag#on another note no matter who ends up winning im scared about how trump will react to the results#im worried that my mother and my brother and i will be targeted way more often just because we arent white and my mother is an immigrant#my mother has received vague threats at work lately from her coworkers and it’s scary#im kind of glad i stay at home all the time but even then im still not safe#sigh#i just hope that if anything bad actually does happen we will be safe
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loveee when a character is crushed under the weight of someone elses expectations for them love when a character dedicates their entire life to something they never even wanted for themself love when the only reason a character keeps going is because theyre Supposed to and bc theyre supposed to make another person happy/proud. YES !!! CLAPPING !!! YES !!!!!!!!
#this isnt rly related to any character in particular i just thought abt this and it made me scream.#flirting at a bar Damn girl you look like youre trapped in a life you built to please someone else. and then i kneel down and pull out a 💍#sry i ran out of space for the full word ring. also why when i type 💍 Ohh theyre hiding it. bc now the emoji is 💍 Oh they changed it again#pox on their home..originally it was 🔐 sughested emoji#but then the second time it was 😭.... very anti marriage. well ig maybe the sob could be like OMG... YES!!!!! I WILL MARRY YOU!!!!!!#ngl getting proposed to is such a big fear of mine like. i dont think id ever be able to propose to someone so id have to be proposed to i#suppose but it makes me quite nervous not bc im like ohh nooo dont propose i just rly worry ill react the wrong way and theyll change their#mind. like its a very high emotion moment so ik i would be supposed to be emotional And i would be but idk if id do it in the right way . y#idk. what if my autism looms and i end up just being like 😐 on accident. fuckkk. what if i say somethinf dumb. like i try to be like YES !#but instead im like YEP! god. can you imagine. id have to just bury myself at that point. so embarassing. or like what if i get excited and#flap my hands but it was supposed to be more of a like. joyful crying type of thing... or what if im supposed to just be shocked and like .#Oh my god ....#and am I supposed to run at them and sweep them into a hug or do they do thst to me. UGH. ITS SO STRESSFUL. i suppose ill just remain alone#forever so I never have to confront any difficult situations ever again . Joke .#idk it just makes me nervous. but i suppose hopefully the person proposing to me will love me . that would be nice so hopefully they wont#mind if i dont respond the right way . and they wont be upset with me bc they love me eversomuch. a girl can dream i suppose... my head lik#is pounding sry. i need to sleep probably.. stayed up too late again -_- 8am -_- and im sposed to do laundry today But i dont want to . and#since im gonna fall asleep i fear it shant happen. UGHHH#wtvr. idk what my ideal proposal would be likeee. i don't want to be blindsided ig#i like surprises but Obviously im too worried abt like. my immediate reaction#+ i think its important to talk abt marriage Before proposing just so everybodys like#on the same page and such. Obvs... but ya. i dont think id want a super public proposal like. id like it to be somewhere nice with maybs#significance to our relationship and such. and its fine if theres like Some passersby but id hate for it 2 be like. somewhere crowded. or i#a restaurant or something#Altho if it was in a restaurant maybe we could get free food..#but maybe that can be just fake proposals later on. and our real proposal can be somewhere else. YIPPEEE. me and my imaginary future spouse#who is To be honest rather bare minimum#normal girl will be like Wistful sigh maybe my future spouse will even love me and wont scream at me and will like to listen to me speak 😍#but anywyas. my beddybye time. SURPRISE GN POST#woahhthis got off topic i forgot what the original post was this always happens. i do love characters like that
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had quite the night drive earlier this evening.
#just me rambling again#web weaving#(?)#uh. one of my friends who is out of town for college was visiting and i got to see him and our friends and the only core member of that#group of people missing was my ex girlfriend who you may also know of as my wonderful wife#who has I assume been very busy with their own life things but has also barely and very sparsely had any hint of communication with any of#us within the past few months which I've been realizing very recently sort of hurts my feelings because we used to be so close and#they had been saying that they would be constantly making sure we still were in each other's lives. but then very quickly have#seemingly dropped off the face of the earth#anyways. I was driving aforementioned friend who is in town back home (family home not college obv) and when i was finally going back#towards my house afterwards my Google maps finally lead me to an area that i was more familiar with driving and i got to an#intersection and it was telling me to take a right to go home but i knew that i knew the way perfectly from that intersection to my#ex girlfriend / best friend / wifes familys house from all of the times I've gone that direction through the past years and so#i turned off my directions and i took a left towards their house#not super sure why but my brain and body just knew it was something i needed to do and so i went and drove down their street and cried#a lot the whole time and then drove myself home from their house once again following a super familiar path#and idk im still feeling very emotional about it. the fact that halloween by noah kahan was the first song to play on Spotify#after i made that left turn im sure didnt help (knowing that i miss them so much and am going to be leaving this area myself#soon enough here and there's been an open offer for a while now that they are welcome to follow and live with me once they get their degree#(and also um. halloween is next week lol)#idk i just havent felt the full force of how badly i miss having them in my life until tonight. when i was around this person i could feel#our souls singing in harmony. i genuinely cannot describe the feelings of our relationship in words i feel like only vaguely abstract art#could communicate the connection that was forged between us and the level of understanding and knowing#something not dissimilar to looking into the sun directly or trying to describe a vivid color to someone who is completely blind#something about the way the entire universe breathes in unison and everything around us are all pieces of the same stars#sigh#i miss my wife tails i miss her a lot /ref
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mad & mad & mad & mad & mad & mad & mad &
#I hate how whenever I look forward to something fun I always think half-jokingly haha I wonder what one thing will go wrong because#there's always something#and then. every time. something goes wrong. and my brain is like yep we still have no precedent for things going the way we wish them to#and it makes a little note in some mental excel spreadsheet of a long line of things that went wrong when we wanted them to go right#and this is why I go to therapy lol#yeah it doesn't happen all the time yeah it's usually small things that don't really matter yeah I know things never work out ~perfectly~#but. but still.#I'm sure this is all fine and it won't be as big of a deal as I think...but I had been so looking forward to having a good day#and I did! I have two days off for fall break and my mum and I went to a bakery and had gâteau au yaourt and croissants#and we went to some bookstores and I got the iliad (belovedest) so it was a good day!! but why does it have to end in tears#why do I have to suddenly be reminded that I have one foot in the chronically ill pool#why do other people get to have their dreams come true seemingly so easily while I have to fight for everything#oh well. at least I'm home and don't have to worry about getting dinner. and we have ice cream. and I still have the iliad.#and I am still blessed.#it's *sighs* fine.#earl crow ramblings
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havent talked to my parents in a week bc of [waves hand at previous vent posting] and now theyre both texting me can i please just be left aloneeeee. I simply do not want speak about any of That to anyone least of all them<3
#j.txt#i normally talk to my mom like every couple days bc i dont have many outlets irl and yet i am a chronic yapper#but as we see the sword cuts both ways doesnt it [deep sigh]#i know i need to talk to them eventually if only to keep them from panicking and doing smth wellmeaning but horrible for me#but i do Not want to♡ im not dealing with trying to get them to even recognize my identity again that was a 3 strikes out game#and unfortunately for everyone involved we're well past 3 strikes at this point. call it everybody go home and leave me in solitude please!#anyways.
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"philo students are a plague upon the land" yes see this is the problem. LOVE studying philosophy so so much but unfortunately, 90% of my fellow students,,, (not u 💜)
no yeah this is 100% the mood if i never have to talk to a dude who so much as utters the words "devil's advocate" again in my life it will be too soon 😶
#answered asks#mona rambels#softest-punk#throwback to the time where i had to go all the way up to the faculty board because in a paper i'd illustrated how kant's theories were lik#inherently racist because according to him only white european-ish people were capable of reason#and my tutor kept failing me for it and demanded i change it. and i refused. and i would have failed the entire module but i'm too stubborn#and like i did get my grade in the end but in a very 'well it's an opinion to have'#i think about this often. sigh#but yea i do love it SO much as a subject. thankfully ''we have books at home honey'' works perfectly fine#also!! thank you <3
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