#why do I have to suddenly be reminded that I have one foot in the chronically ill pool
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mad & mad & mad & mad & mad & mad & mad &
#I hate how whenever I look forward to something fun I always think half-jokingly haha I wonder what one thing will go wrong because#there's always something#and then. every time. something goes wrong. and my brain is like yep we still have no precedent for things going the way we wish them to#and it makes a little note in some mental excel spreadsheet of a long line of things that went wrong when we wanted them to go right#and this is why I go to therapy lol#yeah it doesn't happen all the time yeah it's usually small things that don't really matter yeah I know things never work out ~perfectly~#but. but still.#I'm sure this is all fine and it won't be as big of a deal as I think...but I had been so looking forward to having a good day#and I did! I have two days off for fall break and my mum and I went to a bakery and had gâteau au yaourt and croissants#and we went to some bookstores and I got the iliad (belovedest) so it was a good day!! but why does it have to end in tears#why do I have to suddenly be reminded that I have one foot in the chronically ill pool#why do other people get to have their dreams come true seemingly so easily while I have to fight for everything#oh well. at least I'm home and don't have to worry about getting dinner. and we have ice cream. and I still have the iliad.#and I am still blessed.#it's *sighs* fine.#earl crow ramblings
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I WANNA BE YOUR ENDGAME – Chapter 08
🏒❤️ A Hockey Romance feat. modern!Sukuna
Pairing: HockeyPlayer!Sukuna x Reader (female) Genre: College AU, Hockey AU, fluff + smut Playlist: I wanna be your Endgame Word Count: 5k Warnings: 18+, smut, cigarettes, alcohol, hockey injuries. Fuckbuddies to lovers. Reader is a creative writing student. Sukuna is an ice hockey player + history student. This story will have approximately 12 chapters. Minors don't interact. Header by me. Divider @/benkeibear
MASTERLIST
You lie awake for hours. What happened between you and Sukuna during the private ice skating lesson? Didn't the whole thing in the hockey arena feel too romantic and too intimate for just fuckbuddies? Do friends with benefits really kiss each other like that?
You feel strangely smitten, almost shy, when you think about your evening with Sukuna. He was such a gentleman, making sure you didn't slip and fall on your ass, helping you exit the ice and make your way to the bench, where you could put on your shoes again. You left the arena, and Sukuna ruffled your hair and made a joking comment about how you had screeched when you set foot on the ice for the first time. And you playfully hit his biceps and told him to shut up. But your heart was racing, and your face felt too hot, and you are sure you giggled like some teenager with a big fat crush.
Sukuna walked you back to your dorm, and you teased each other the whole way. You asked Sukuna if he wanted to come in, and he agreed with his typical sexy smirk. You spent an hour in your bed, low groans and soft mewls and the rhythmical sound of your headboard banging against the wall filling your room.
And now, Sukuna is gone again, but your pillow still smells like him. And you stare at the ceiling, unable to get that kiss in the hockey arena out of your head. A kiss that felt too romantic, too tender.
You know your little private ice skating lesson wasn't a date, but why did it almost feel like one? If you are honest with yourself, the hour spent ice skating in Sukuna's arms felt nicer than any real date you had.
You wonder if Sukuna is lying awake, too? Does he ask himself the same questions you are asking yourself? You want to convince yourself he isn't aware of it. But there's a small voice in the back of your mind reminding you how good Sukuna is at analyzing things. You are sure he can see how close the two of you have become, too.
But does he care? Does he want more? Or is it just fun for him? You know Sukuna has that bad reputation that paints him as a fuckboy. But is he, though? The thing is that ever since the two of you started your little arrangement, Sukuna seems to only fuck one girl... and that girl is you. And then there are all those little things Yuuji says that sometimes sound like he is dropping hints about Sukuna possibly liking you as more than just a casual fuckbuddy.
"Oh shit."
You groan and pull your blanket over your face, hiding yourself even deeper in the comfort of your bed. The little hopeful spark and the butterflies in your stomach scare you. You know this feeling all too well, and you don't want it!
You told yourself you would get through college without the complications of romantic feelings. All love ever did was cause you heartbreak and pain. You swore off it after the disappointment that your ex-boyfriend was. You swore to yourself that you would just have fun when you go to college. Nothing serious. No relationship. No feelings. Just fun. And this fuckbuddies arrangement with Sukuna had seemed so perfect for what you wanted. But what now? What if you suddenly develop feelings for Sukuna?
You cannot let that happen. You have to fight it!
Get a fucking grip!
You see Sukuna the next day, and you manage to act normal around him, ignoring the fluttery feeling in your stomach when he smirks at you and lets his large hand slowly trail down your arm to steal your heavy stack of books out of your hands and carry it for you to your classic literature classroom. He makes a comment about you obviously being too weak to carry it on your own while giving you one of his devilish looks, and you roll your eyes and yank the books out of his arms even though Sukuna already carried them all the way to the classroom.
You agree to meet him for lunch, and by the time the two of you have finished your meals and bickered playfully over all kinds of things, you feel better. More in control again. You can do this. You can continue this fuckbuddies thing with Sukuna without making things awkward. Even if his boyish smirk and those pretty, maroon eyes and mouth-watering muscles make your pulse race. It's fine. Sukuna is your friend. Just that. Just a very hot guy-friend who fucks your brains out anytime you feel like it.
It's perfect the way it is. You wouldn't want to risk losing this.
Sukuna asks you to see him after hockey practice, and you spend an hour in his bed that evening, moaning into his pillow and laughing against his buff biceps afterward when he lies next to you and shows you a funny video on his phone.
You steal a drag from Sukuna's cigarette that he smokes by his window, and he grins at you and pulls you into a kiss with that sexy, teasing tongue flick at the end before he tells you to be a good girl and go home to study for your classic literature course so you can join him in the top-grades-getter-league.
It's Friday, and Nobara keeps bugging you about joining her for a night out at a popular club, claiming that you will get a bad case of FOMO if you don't come with her. You doubt her words, but you have to admit that maybe a girls' night with some dancing and some fancy drinks is exactly what you need to get your mind off a certain pink-haired hockey player, and so you laugh and tell her to help you pick an outfit.
Nobara was right about the club being amazing. You really have a lot of fun, sipping on some pastel-colored sweet cocktail and dancing and laughing with your dormmate, feeling as if this is the authentic college experience.
The club is a popular meeting spot for college students. You see so many familiar faces. And so, it should probably not come as a surprise when you see several hockey players. You try not to do it, but your gaze keeps wandering through the club, searching for one particular Tiger.
And you find him.
He is leaning casually against a pillar, laughing at something his brother is saying to him before Yuuji gets pulled onto the dancefloor by Todo. Sukuna stays where he is, lifting a bottle of some vodka mix drink to his lips and tilting his head back to gulp it down. His Adam's apple bops enticingly, making you involuntarily lick your lips.
You have stopped dancing, you realize. Too busy staring at Sukuna.
Damn, stop it!
You shake your head and laugh, grabbing Nobara's hand to spin her around, forcing yourself to get back into your little fun time with your friend. But even as you dance with her, your gaze keeps straying back to your fuckbuddy, who is still standing at the same spot.
Several hockey players gather around Sukuna, laughing, chatting, and drinking together. Tequila shots this time. It looks like the whole team is here tonight, maybe celebrating something. Sukuna hasn't spotted you yet, and you use that chance to let your eyes trail slowly over him.
He looks hot. He always does, of course. Tall, athletic, and handsome. The tight black t-shirt he is wearing shows off his well-defined muscles and sexy tattoos. The expression on his tattooed face is aloof and bored, making him probably look even more attractive to all the girls who are eyeing him. Sukuna is a challenge. The bad boy, who seems so hard to please. The tough guy who seems like he never smiles. But you have seen his smile and know how to get it out of him.
You are about to walk over to Sukuna to greet him, but you freeze up when you watch a pretty girl dance up to him, a seductive smile on her face. You feel your stomach clench anxiously. The girl gets on her tiptoes, a sugary smile on her beautiful face as she says something to Sukuna. Her hand sprawls over his pecs, her body leaning closer and closer to him.
But Sukuna shakes his head at her and plucks her hand off him with a cold sneer on his beautiful face. He points a long, tattooed finger at one of his teammates and steers the girl over to him.
And as fast as that strange feeling in your guts appeared, it is gone again, and instead, you catch yourself grinning from ear to ear.
And suddenly, that maroon gaze is on you. You draw in a sharp breath, staring back at Sukuna as the seconds tick by.
Sukuna's tattooed face lights up with a broad grin, and he pushes himself off the pillar he was leaning against. Your pulse is racing as you watch him walk over to you while Nobara is laughing. Sukuna stops in front of you, tall and sexy with that boyish smirk and looking so good in his tight black t-shirt and jeans.
"Hey, princess."
The words come out slightly slurred. You tilt your head to smile at him, noticing the somewhat unfocused look in his usually so sharp eyes. He is drunk, you realize. His grin turns into a lopsided smile, and somehow, it makes him look almost cute. Softer around the edges. He seemed so aloof a moment ago when he turned that girl down, but now he is all playful again when he reaches out to wrap his strong arms around your waist and pull you against him.
"Fuck, I'm glad you're here, too, princess. I was so fucking bored."
He jerks his chin at Nobara in a greeting, informing her with a smirk,
"I am stealing her for a while. Find someone else to dance with, Ginger. What about my brother? He is a good dancer. Get him before someone else does."
Nobara complains loudly, smacking Sukuna's biceps while telling him that hockey players suck in general and pink-haired ones in particular, but you can hear the smile in her voice, and she really half-walks, half-dances away from Sukuna and you, looking for another dance partner.
You chuckle softly as Sukuna pulls you to him, making you stumble into his firm body. You put your hands on Sukuna's abs to brace yourself, grinning up at him, your pulse fluttering at being so close to him. His body heat seeps through his shirt, and his firm abs move under your palms when he leans down to press a sloppy, wet kiss on your cheek,
"Come on, dance with me so Todo and the brat get off my dick and stop pestering me about dancing with them."
Sukuna pulls you with him to the middle of the dancefloor, where the rest of the hockey players are. You don't even have time to complain or feel embarrassed about your dancing skills because Sukuna's strong arms are wrapped so firmly around you that you can't really make any move on your own anyway. And the drinks you had make you tipsy enough to just go with it and laugh loudly as Sukuna grinds against you.
You find yourself relaxing, just having fun with Sukuna and his teammates, dancing dirty with Sukuna while singing along to the songs, and smiling when Sukuna grins at you. You wrap your hands around Sukuna's neck, letting him sway you from side to side, or press his tall, muscular body tightly against yours to grind against you slowly.
It seems only natural that the two of you kiss. Sloppy, drunk kisses that make you chuckle against Sukuna's lips, feeling a lot more intoxicated than you truly are. It feels exhilarating to dance and make out with him here in the middle of the club.
Sukuna's hands are all over you, running up and down your back and groping your ass. He slips his hands into the back pockets of your jeans and pulls you even closer to him, and you let your nails trail over his short undercut, smiling when it elicits a low growl from the back of Sukuna's throat.
He trails hot, wet kisses over your chin to your neck, and your breath hitches. It's new to be like this with Sukuna in public, but you can't deny how exciting it feels to have him all over you. Drunk Sukuna is clingy, you realize. He doesn't let you move away even a step. His large hands immediately squeeze your ass, pulling you to him again while his lips trail kisses over your neck and his sexy low voice murmurs in your ear,
"Need you, baby."
Your heart skips a beat. You know Sukuna is just drunk, and it means nothing, but you can't help but feel a fluttery tingle in your belly and chest at his words. You smile and grab Sukuna's chin, pulling him into another kiss to shut him up before he can say anything else that will make you spin out of control and that he might regret in the morning.
You weakly try to decline when Sukuna whispers in your ear that he wants you to go home with him. But he won't let go of you, clings to you, and kisses you all sweetly before he looks at you with a cute little pout that looks hilarious on his tattooed face. His voice is a bit thicker than usual, tongue heavy from the alcohol, making you wonder how many shots he had.
"Don't leave me alone, princess. Who knows what kind of trouble I will get into without my personal lucky charm by my side."
He keeps grinning at you and bugging you until you agree to leave with him, even if it is just to put him into bed. You let Sukuna put a muscular arm around your shoulders while his other arm pulls his twin brother to his side, and the three of you make your way outside while you hastily type a message to Nobara, telling her you are leaving with the twins.
You laugh when Sukuna throws his car keys to his brother, even in his drunk state, not forgetting about the beef he has with Yuuji over his beloved car,
"You drive, brat, but if you get even the tiniest scratch into my car, I will punch that stupid smile off your face."
You sit in the backseat with Sukuna while Yuuji drives. Or, more like, you lie in the backseat because Sukuna is on you the moment the car starts. You spend the whole drive with Sukuna lying half on top of you, kissing you deeply, with those intense deep tongue kisses that make you moan into his mouth and knead his firm ass through his tight jeans.
"So greedy, huh, princess? Don't worry, I'll fuck you until you scream my name." "Oh, shut up. You are drunk. I'll just tug you into bed and then leave." "Don't you dare leave me alone. I had some drinks, yeah, but I am perfectly fine. I can still fuck you better than any other could." He smirks at you with that challenging glint in his eyes, and your pussy throbs, your conviction wavering. Sukuna licks your neck slowly, teasingly, before he captures your lips in another deep kiss, successfully making you change your plans. Your hands slip under his shirt, caressing his hot, smooth skin, kneading his buff muscles, smiling when you hear him groan into the kiss. You go with Sukuna to his room and watch him take off his clothes, heart pounding in your chest as he turns around and beckons you over, his sexy muscles and tattoos unashamedly on display for you, and his gorgeous thick cock already half hard, waiting for you to stroke him to full hardness so you can have fun with him. Sukuna fucks you with sloppy, lazy strokes and those deep French kisses that make your pussy and your tummy flutter. You are gasping his name, wrapping your legs tightly around his narrow hips, mewling with every thrust, enjoying the drunk sex immensely. Sukuna fucks good, even when he had several drinks. The only thing that's different is that he is louder. And it's so sexy that it makes you clench around him, your eyes falling shut to bask in the sexy, loud moans falling from Sukuna's lips.
You really scream his name when you cum, and he moans yours when he follows you a few seconds later, hot thick cock throbbing inside you. Sukuna slumps on top of you afterward with a satisfied sigh, and you hum happily, caressing his neck and running your foot up and down his muscular calves and thighs.
You ask how late it is, but Sukuna doesn't answer.
"Sukuna?"
You push at Sukuna's broad shoulders only to hear a soft snore coming from him, realizing he fell asleep on top of you. You laugh and relax, letting a hand trail slowly up and down Sukuna's broad, muscular back, caressing him while he sleeps soundly on top of you.
Sukuna is heavy, but you let him sleep, grinning to yourself, feeling oddly happy, lying here under the hockey star. After a while, Sukuna rolls off you, mumbling softly in his sleep, but it's incoherent, and you can't make out any words. It makes you feel surprisingly soft for him.
You roll onto your side, too and press a soft kiss to Sukuna's tattooed shoulder, murmuring,
"Good night, Kuna. Sleep well."
You are about to get up to collect your clothes from Sukuna's bedroom floor to get dressed and then sneak out. But before you can get up, a large hand wraps around your arm, stopping you, pulling you back against Sukuna's warm, naked body.
"Stay."
Just a single word, mumbled in a hoarse, sleepy-sounding voice.
You tense up. Does Sukuna know what he is asking? He never before asked you to stay the night, and he also never stayed the whole night in your dorm. It feels like a line fuckbuddies shouldn't cross. On top of that, you don't think Sukuna is the type who lets someone sleep in his bed. You know he's already making a huge exception when it comes to you by taking you to his room and fucking you in his bed. Apparently, that's something Sukuna never did with his former hookups because he thought his room was none of their business. And now he wants you to sleep in his bed the whole night?
You know you are overthinking it, but you simply can't stop worrying that you are somehow taking advantage of Sukuna's drunk state. The sex wasn't the problem because your whole arrangement is based on having sex with each other. But this is something different. Sleeping in Sukuna's bed feels like a big fucking deal! If you sleep here, will he regret it in the morning? Will he be mad? You don't want to overstep a boundary.
"Sukuna..."
"Shhh, no talking. Just stay."
And as if he read your thoughts, he adds in that slightly slurred voice,
"I swear I won't regret it in the morning. Stay. I'll even make you breakfast."
You chuckle softly and close your mouth again, not trying to argue anymore, nor do you want to. You smile and snuggle back against Sukuna's tall, warm body, sighing when his strong arms tighten around you, and he buries his face in your neck, instantly starting to snore again, sounding so cute that it makes you grin from ear to ear. The bad boy star player all cuddly and tame.
Even after your night in Sukuna's bed and the morning after, when he made breakfast for you just like he promised, you tell yourself you can just stay friends with benefits with him.
Nobara tries to rile you up, teases you endlessly, and tries to get you to admit you have feelings for Sukuna. But you turn her down anytime, adamantly declaring you only want him as a friend. A friend who is very good in bed and who you can have sex with any time the two of you feel like it.
You think if you just say it often enough, it will be true. You will be able to convince yourself you have everything under control.
And then the accident happens.
You're in your usual spot in the stands, watching the hockey game, cheering and laughing. The mood in the arena is ecstatic because it looks like the Tigers overcame their loss two weeks ago.
You hold your breath in giddy anticipation as Sukuna steals the puck from a rival player and speeds across the ice, his gaze on the goal ahead. His playstyle is high-speed and brutal, as always. It's sexy to watch. Until two rival players throw themselves in Sukuna's way.
You gasp loudly as Sukuna crashes full speed into the two players. All three go down, slamming hard into the ice with a heavy thud and the loud clatter of their hockey sticks skittering across the ice.
You are on your feet before you even notice it, a hand pressed over your mouth, staring wide-eyed at the ice where Sukuna is lying in a pile with the players he crashed into. The whole arena is yelling in shock because their star player went down, but you only hear it as a far-away noise because the blood in your ears is rushing much too loudly as your heart races fearfully.
What is going on? Why is Sukuna not getting up? You see the other jersey with the Itadori name speeding towards the scene. Yuuji pulls one of the rival players off his brother while yelling something you can't hear. He instantly gets attacked by several other players, but Yuuji fights back angrily, punching them and pushing them away from Sukuna.
Sukuna, who is still lying facedown on the ice. He isn't moving. Panic threatens to drown you, and before you know what you're doing, you start running and pushing your way through the crowd. Nobara is yelling your name, but you don't stop to wait for her.
You feel sick to your stomach. Your heart is pounding fearfully in your chest as you stop in front of the plexiglass, pressing your hands against the cold glass. Your anxious breath fogs up the glass as you watch the whole team and the team medic rush to Sukuna, who is still knocked out.
Or worse.
Tears are gathering in your eyes, and you feel a sob finding its way out of your mouth.
Please let him be okay! Please let him be okay! I never even told him how much I like him!
That's when you see Sukuna make a slight movement, and you huff a shaky sigh of relief.
The team medic is saying something to him, and Sukuna nods softly. You press yourself anxiously against the plexiglass, watching as the doc carefully pulls Sukuna's helmet off.
Yuuji and Todo help lift Sukuna onto a stretcher under the anxious gazes of the whole arena, which is filled with fearful silence.
You are still pressed against the plexiglass, watching as they carry Sukuna off the ice. Sukuna's eyes meet your worried gaze as they carry him past you. He lifts his head slightly, looking at you with a dazed expression. A dreamy look crosses over his tattooed face, and to your surprise, he smiles at you even as his maroon eyes seem unfocused and caught in some daydream.
Sukuna smiles a dreamy little smile at you while his lips move. You can't hear what he says, but you think you can read his lips, and what they murmur is something like "angel".
You stare after him, stunned, even when the stretcher is already getting carried to the back of the arena, away from your gaze.
The game continues, but the Tigers are out of it. The shock of seeing their star player get knocked out seems to sit in their bones. The cheerful and excited mood in the arena has dimmed almost completely. You bite your nails nervously as you stand at the boards, watching the game but not really seeing anything, too lost in your thoughts and worrying about Sukuna.
He was so fast when he crashed into those two players, and he seemed so out of it when they carried him off the ice. You were relieved to see him conscious again, but the shock still makes a painful knot remain in your stomach.
You practically flee from the rink once the game is finally over. But you cannot even consider the idea of going back to your dorm. Nobara walks up to you, reaching out to pat your back.
"Hey, I'm sure he is alright. That thick head won't crack from a bit of ice."
You smile weakly at her, knowing this is her being nice and sympathetic, but you still tell her,
"I'll wait here. Maybe I can talk to Yuuji."
"Okay, you do that. Let me know if Kirby Boy is okay."
You loiter around the lobby, waiting impatiently for a sign of pink hair. When Yuuji finally walks toward you, you hurry over to him with a fearfully racing pulse.
"Is he okay?"
Yuuji smiles that sweet, reassuring sunshine smile at you and nods,
"Yeah. He scared me, too. But he just has a concussion."
"A concussion?"
You stare at Yuuji worriedly, but he laughs softly and rubs your arm,
"It's no big deal. I get one almost every season. Kuna will be fine, don't worry. He just needs to rest for a day, or our coach will kill him."
You huff, feeling like Yuuji is downplaying it, or maybe this is really the way the hockey guys are. But his reassurance makes you relax anyway.
Yuuji cocks his head,
"I'm heading to our dorm to get the car because they won't let Sukuna walk home. Do you want to come with me?"
You nod and quickly hurry after Sukuna's twin brother.
When you finally see Sukuna after his accident, you curse loudly.
He is sitting on an examination table in the first aid room in the back of the arena, in his sweatpants and Nikes and the black compression shirt he always wears under his hockey jersey. His pink hair is ruffled, and he still looks as dazed as when they carried him off the ice. A dark blue bruise is already forming around his right eye.
Your heart clenches at the sight, and you find yourself hurrying over to Sukuna and hugging him lightly before you can stop yourself.
"Oh god, are you okay?"
You pull away a bit to look at him with big, worried eyes while you caress his biceps gently, afraid to hurt him if you touch him more firmly. As if the big, broad hockey player is a fragile porcelain doll. But you can't think rationally at the moment. All you see is that Sukuna is injured, and it triggers something in you, making you feel all protective and worried over him. And scared. So scared to lose him.
But Sukuna laughs softly and smirks at you. It's a bit crooked and a bit slower than usual, but it manages to calm you down regardless. A large, tattooed hand comes up to rest on your back.
"I'm fine, princess."
But you see how Sukuna can't seem to focus his gaze on you and how he squints his eyes against the bright neon light in the small room. Even if Yuuji hadn't told you about Sukuna's concussion, you would have figured it out by now. He belongs in bed, in his dark room with the curtains closed and lots of rest.
Luckily, Yuuji is already by his brother's side, pulling him up.
"Come on, let's get you home."
You help Yuuji, the two of you taking Sukuna in your middle and leading him slowly to the car. He complains all the way about how he can walk on his own and that he doesn't want Yuuji to wreck his car. You roll your eyes, but at least Sukuna seems to be halfway okay if he can talk like that.
You sit with Sukuna in the back of the car again. Not making out this time, but instead holding his large hand in yours and watching him worriedly, checking if he is still okay.
Once you are in Sukuna's room, you help him take off his tight compression shirt and sweatpants before telling him to get into his bed. He is a good boy for once and does as you say, lying down and letting you pull his blanket over him.
Sukuna looks up at you with that same dazed smile he had in the arena when they carried him past you and he thought you were an angel. It's an expression that seems so foreign on his face that it instantly makes worry flare up in your chest again.
Your decision is made at that moment. You grab the hem of your sweater, pull it off, and slip out of your jeans, crawling into bed to join Sukuna under his blanket,
"I'm staying. I don't think you should be alone right now."
Sukuna laughs softly, but his muscular arm wraps around you immediately and pulls you against his side. You sigh and snuggle against Sukuna, placing a hand on his naked chest, feeling his warm skin and his heartbeat, which is strangely reassuring.
Sukuna's low voice sounds tired but nonetheless smug when he murmurs,
"You're really worried about me, huh, princess? That's so cute."
"You were knocked out. Of course, I am worried. If you had seen the expression on your face when they carried you off the ice, you would have been worried, too!"
"Shhh, it's okay, princess. I'm just teasing you."
Sukuna's large hand lands on yours, holding it in place right there on his chest, his thumb caressing the back of your hand as he adds in a low voice full of amusement,
"I should get injured more often. I quite like it when you get all scared for me and dote on me like that."
"Oh, stop it. You are such an idiot. And don't you dare get into trouble!"
But Sukuna just laughs that raspy low laugh as you add firmly,
"You should get some sleep now. The doc and your coach said you should rest."
"Yeah, yeah, I'm on it."
And Sukuna really drifts off to sleep just a few minutes later, his body and brain obviously exhausted and in dire need of rest. You, on the other hand, can't find sleep for a long time.
You lie awake in Sukuna's bed, your palm resting on his chest, fingers sprawled over his defined buff pecs, feeling his heartbeat and listening to his soft breathing. The earlier anxiety has left your body now that you know Sukuna will be okay. But something else is keeping your mind busy.
You fucked up. You have a big problem, you realize.
Because what Sukuna's little accident clearly showed you is that he means a lot more to you than you planned.
I AM SO WEAK FOR HIM!! 😭 Tipsy Sukuna made me smile so much while writing 😍 He is so clingy and cute. "Need you, baby." I would have MELTED!! Did you feel protective over injured Kuna, too? I wouldn't leave his side either 😭 Thank you so much for reading the new chapter! I am so glad that I finally had time to post it. I missed our fave hockey player so much. I hope you enjoyed the chapter! Comments and reblogs would be very sweet. In Chapter 09, we will see Reader accepting her feelings + there will be jealous!Reader and jealous!Sukuna. And we will finally also see Sukuna's POV ;)
#sukuna x reader#sukuna fluff#sukuna smut#sukuna#sukuna x you#jjk x reader#jjk smut#jjk x you#sukuna x y/n#jjk x y/n#ryomen sukuna#jjk fluff#{🏒❤️} hockey au
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The Monster under the Bed
MDNI, this is smut, 18+ only. Reader is AFAB, nongendered. CW: monsterfucking, cnc/dubcon, intox off of monster power, ovipositor, breeding via egg laying.
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Your mother had always told you tales of the Monster under the bed. Warned you to never let your leg dangle put from under the blankets, nor to dare and let a limb hang off the bed. Swore that the monster would draw you into its realm and keep you there forever.
Yet, in the late summer heat that hadn't let up in days, you weren't thinking about the monster under the bed as you layed flat on your stomach. You hadn't thought about that since you were a child. Instead, all you could think of was the intense need for relief from the oppressive humidity as you stuck your foot out from under the blankets.
Maybe if you had remembered your mother's tales, you would have been better prepared for the fact that a hand wrapped around your ankle a moment later. You lived alone, but strange things happened in the city. You had a moment of blinding panic before suddenly your whole body relaxed.
A cool, tingling sensation ran across your skin as claws circled your ankle. It was such a sweet relief that your brain stopped trying to process what was happening as you felt your body be slowly dragged down the bed until your legs hung off the edge completely. Your hips snuggly pressed into the mattress, a distant thought reminding you about the lack of clothing you had decided on for bed.
"What have we here?" Oh, that was a voice that sounded so nice. You had a feeling that if you were in a right state of mind that you would have found it akin to sandpaper, but presently it sounded like the crackle of a warm fire. Fire that seemed to melt your insides yet cool your skin. It left you in a state of bliss as you felt its long, thin fingers begin to roam over your skin.
It took its time as you sank into the touch. It felt so wonderful, leaving a pleasant hum in your blood. Each touch seemed to be patient, gentle, yet it was firm and tested for boundaries. "My, it has been some time since I had a human. Might I try you?"
Your eyes fluttered and you let out a soft groan into the mattress. It massaged into muscles you didn't know had an ache, and left you pliant under each passing touch. It may as well have turned you into a puddle for all the fight you had in you. "Yes," You managed to find the words as sank further into the bed.
There was a rumble of laughter that would have made you quake in fear if you had heard it before you felt its touch, but now? You just found yourself excited at the prospect of what it meant when it said that it wanted to try you.
"Such an eager toy," it commented, and the words made you want to preen. Though, your brain couldn't quite figure out why. Not that it cared to as two hands slowly pulled your legs apart, and another set of hands spread your cheeks.
From the way your face was resting on the mattress, you couldn't see behind you. No matter how badly you wanted to look, you couldn't find yourself able to. Not a single ounce of will power existed in your relaxed body. You had fully given in to this monster, and there wasn't much that you could do, even if you had wanted to.
Not when it slowly used it's long fingers to slip between your lips, before it found that point that had you letting out a muffled groan. It let out a noise of awe as it began to toy with you more. It seemed to be engulfed in your body as it drew its fingers over your clit time and time again. It seemed to like your pleasure, enjoyed the way that your body was putty in its hands.
The pleasure was mounting, and for a moment, you thought you'd climax then and there on its fingers. Except, it let out a little noise that seemed to be a click of the tongue. "Such a good toy, let's not have this end so soon."
Suddenly, you were aware that the monster had more of a form than just arms and hands. A third set of hands found your body. One settled between your shoulder blades and pinned you to the bed, while the other fisted in your hair and tugged your head to the side. It would have been painful, if you weren't so lost in the lust and found the pain to just add to the pleasure.
That, and you could feel the large chest of the beast as it hovered over your body. You felt so small and frail in comparison. Especially as its tongue ran along the edge of your exposed neck. "You want me to keep playing with you, don't you?"
A whimper left your throat and you nodded like your life depended on it. How could you want it to stop when you had never felt this good in your whole life. "Good. Then be a good toy for me," it hissed before it's teeth found your throat and dug in. Somehow, the pleasure mounted, but it did not peak. It kept building, growing, but it never hit that crescendo as the monster buried its teeth into your neck.
You burned in a way that had nothing to do with the heat. You rocked your hips back, and wordlessly pleaded for more. It shushed you and continued to explore your body. Your legs now held in place by its own, which left its other hands free to explore. To find more places to draw pleasure from your body. To knead and press and pull at your chest as you let out pathetic noises of desire.
It had you exactly where it wanted you. Pinned under its weight and a writhing mess of desire. It fed off that deep-seated need for more. Drank in your lust, and slowly let go of its hold on your throat. Yet, even as it continued to play with you, you couldn't finish.
"Hush. We're almost there. I want you nice and ready. Trust me, you want to be a good little toy, right?" There was nothing you wanted more than to be a good little toy. You wanted to please it so badly that you thought you might go insane. Or perhaps you already had since you were letting the monster from under your bed fuck you.
It slowly dipped a finger inside of you and marveled at the way your entire body trembled. The way you whined and moaned as it tested what made your pleasure spike most. A breath of laughter ran along your neck as it added a second finger, then quickly a third to keep your mind pleasantly clouded.
"There we go. Such a good pet for me. I think you'll quite enjoy this." Seeing as you had already enjoyed everything else, you nodded blindly into the bed. You were so close, so very close, and just wanted to find that point of release. You'd do anything to be allowed.
"Anything?"
Oh, you must have spoke aloud without even realizing. "Anything," You cried out.
"Perfect," without any further notice, it withdrew its fingers from within and left you feeling empty and gaping.
Before you could so much as register that you were empty, you felt the monster shift. Its chest pressed into your back and grabbed hold of your hips. It lifted them slightly so that you toes were all that could touch the floor. Then, you felt it.
It was certainly larger than the three fingers that had been inside you, possibly larger than anything you had ever taken. You gasped as it pressed closer, and somehow began to slip inside of you.
Your walls were pushed to a point you hadn't known was possible as you were forced to accommodate the monster as it buried itself inside of you. It didn't tear into you, just kept a slow, relentless pace until it seemed to be fully sheathed. Or at least, as fully sheathed as it could be considering the head was brushing against your cervix.
Except, instead of pulling out and thrusting back in, it kept pushing forward. There was a pulse of pain that mingled with the pleasure, and then, oh fuck. You were suddenly reminded that this was a monster that was fucking you as its head seemed to split into four points. Each one embedded itself into your cervix and began to pull back.
You were breathless and tears pooled in your eyes as you felt your cervix give way under the monster's strength. And with a sudden popping sensation, the monster sunk even further into you. It was fucking your womb, and that thought was already enough to have your mind spinning.
Of course, that wasn't enough for the monster. "Perfect. Such a perfect little toy for me. I had no idea I'd be so lucky as to find an incubator tonight." Your brain couldn't comprehend what that meant. Not as it began to paw at your body again. It stroked your clit, toyed with your chest, and kept thrusting in a way that lit your nerves on fire with desire.
You were so blissed out, you almost didn't feel it at first. The way that your body suddenly had to accommodate something wider. Something of a round shape that began to slide past your entrance and further inside. Something that set off a soft warning bell in the back of your mind.
"Wha-" you broke off in a whine as it pushed past your cervix and was dumped inside your womb. Pleasure exploded through your body and you shook with it as a second, then a third egg passed into you. Not that your mind could comprehend that those were eggs, not when your body was having such a high from your orgasm.
By the time the monster had pulled out, you were limp and trembling on the bed. Slick with sweat, but no longer feeling the humidity. Fingers ran through your hair and perhaps you shouldn't have leaned into the affectionate feeling touch.
"Such a pretty little toy. You'll do very nicely," your monster whispered before it yanked you off the bed and dragged you under. Into its realm just like your mother had warned.
#cnc free use#bd/sm breeding#breeding k1nk#rough cnc#monsterfucking nsft#monsterfucker#ovi kink#ovipositor#egg laying#egg breeding#dubc0n
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The Perfect Pet
cw: Hypnosis, Pet play
I was on my way home from work when I got the strangest text:
Tiff
Hey slut could you run by the laundromat and pick up my clothes? should be in the third machine from the door.
You
Uh sorry I think you have the wrong number
It was a pretty embarrassing thing to accidentally text a stranger, I couldn't help but think that whoever this had been meant for must be in a pretty quirky relationship. I reminded myself not to be so judgemental, then I got another text
Tiff
Whoops forgot to do the thing lol Slumber party time
“I’m a good girl, I’m a good slut” I muttered to myself, my body suddenly felt very heavy. My arms fell to my sides and my eyes fluttered for just a moment. Then everything felt normal again. I lifted the phone and quickly reread the text conversation
Tiff
Are you there, slut?
You
I’m here! Sorry about that Miss Tiffany, You want your laundry right? I can be there in fifteen minutes
Tiff
good slut no rush lol key is under the doormat
I hurried over to the laundromat anyway, it just felt so good to obey. And if I was a good enough girl, then maybe she’d even use my mouth today. I grabbed the clothes and made my way to Miss Tiffany’s apartment. Once inside I took a moment to reminisce…there had been a slumber party here a few weeks ago, my fourth one I think? It was hard to tell them apart. Then I quickly texted Miss Tiffany back.
You
Delivered! Do you want me to fold them and put them away?
Tiff
Sure lol if you wanna
I got to work, the rest of Miss Tiffany’s clothes were also unfolded and scattered around her room. So I cleaned up all of those too.
You
All done Miss Tiffany!
I waited a few seconds…then a few more…I bit my lip, anticipation building...until suddenly
Tiff
Good girl
I let out a soft moan and my legs felt weak. I basked in it for just a moment. Then I was already texting again
You
Is there anything else I can do for you Miss?
I felt a little disappointed when she replied:
Tiff
Na can’t think of anything, ur good
Feeling disheartened, I got ready to leave. Only for my phone to buzz again, sending my hopes soaring
Tiff
Actually, you gonna be busy for the next hour or so?
You
No Miss!
Tiff
Cool, why don’t you wait for me Just get comfy on the couch and press your button for me slut
You
Yes Miss!
I sat down, and raised my index finger in front of my face. I let my eyes focus on it, then I tapped myself on the-
…
…
…
…
*Tap*
I was lying down on the couch now. When I opened my eyes all I could see was Miss Tiffany’s beautiful pussy. My mouth fell open and she lowered herself onto me. She road my face while I did everything I could to pleasure her, after all if I did good enough she might-
“Good Girl”
My hips thrust into the air while I moaned into her, it was so much better hearing it out loud. She continued to pepper in ‘good girl’s' between her pants and gasps, and I got so fuzzy that all I could think about was the taste of her. Finally she was finished using my mouth. She got off me and slid me onto the floor, where I went to work dutifully massaging her feet. She stuck a toe in my mouth and I sucked it happily.
“That was great, you’re getting better at that slut. Such a good girl”
Her foot in my face stifled my moan, and she giggled at me. I noticed it was my phone she was scrolling through while I worked.
“Looks like you got a few other orders while you were out. But you’ve been a good slut today already, want me to tell them to get someone else?”
I shook my head as much as I could with her foot in my mouth
“Of course you don’t, such a good little slut”
She glanced back down at my phone and read to me
“Well, it looks like Mina wants you to do her homework, Alice wants her dick sucked, and Kelsey just sent a picture of a maid dress and told you to come over. You got a busy day ahead of you slut”
She pulled her foot out of my mouth and let me stand up, she handed my phone back to me with a smile, I went to put it in my pocket, then realized I wasn’t wearing any clothes. I quickly got dressed and made my plan. I could go see Alice first, then I should probably pick up Mina’s homework before going to Kelsey’s cause the maid thing was gonna take all day. It made me so happy knowing I was going to be such a good girl for them all.
--
I wasn’t sure what else to do, Mina’s homework was done, and I was all out of maid tasks. Kelsey was fast asleep, she had spent most of the day surprise groping me while I worked on cleaning her dorm room, and apparently that had really worn her out because she didn’t look like she was waking anytime soon. I had been hoping for one more ‘Good Girl’ to finish off the day, but it was fine. I was a good slut, I was happy just to be used. I got dressed and headed for home. Another task came in over my phone. But rather than eagerly accept I found myself texting that this slut was tired and done for the day. I received a ‘good girl’ in reply which left me dizzy. But during the walk home, I found the day's activities began to fade from my mind. I had gotten off work, hung out with some friends…and now I was going home. I was standing outside my front door when I got one last text.
Mistress
Hey there cutie :) Did you have fun today?
Another wrong number? In the same day? I texted back to clear up the misunderstanding.
You
Yes Mistress
I stared at my phone, and tried to figure out why I had just typed that, and also why this stranger was named ‘Mistress’ in my phone. But before I could even begin to feel confused there was another text
Mistress
That’s good to hear I’ve been keeping an eye on you, and I think I’ve decided to make you mine Doesn’t that sound lovely pet?
You
Yes Mistress
I stared dumbly at my own thumbs as they typed out and sent the message for a second time. I received one last text, then everything went fuzzy.
The next thing I knew, I was standing somewhere else. I was in front of a completely different door, with my arm raised as though I had just finished knocking. Before I could spend any more time figuring out where I was, the door opened and a dazzlingly beautiful woman was standing inside. She smiled at me, I recognized the smile.
“Perfect timing sweetie”
From behind her another girl walked out of the apartment. She had a vacant expression on her face, and didn’t even glance at me as she walked down the hallway towards the exit. The woman gestured for me to enter
“You’re up next, come on in”
I did and she shut the door behind me
"Honestly I decided I was going to keep you from the moment we first met, breaking you mind was just so much fun"
"Um...thank you"
I couldn't really understand what this lady was talking about, but before I could think about it more I was distracted by the sight of another young woman who was curled up in a pet bed in the corner of the room. She was naked aside from a leather collar around her neck. I stared at her wide eyed while the woman took a seat on the couch. She laughed when she saw me looking
“Jealous?”
I tore my eyes away, my face turning red. I looked at the woman. There was something so familiar about her but I couldn’t quite place it. She laughed at me
“You are just adorable all confused like this, take a seat”
She patted the couch next to her, and I obeyed. Good Girls obeyed…something was swimming up to the surface of my mind Good Girls obeyed…
“Mistress?”
I heard myself ask, it was like I was listening to myself from underwater. She smiled at me
“Why don’t we get you all comfy pet”
She took me by the shoulders and pulled me down, she adjusted me until I was lying on her lap looking up at her. Somehow she seemed even more gorgeous looking down on me like this. There was a voice in my head that was still confused, still wondering why all of this was happening. But that little voice got quieter and quieter as I stared into Mistress's eyes while she gently stroked my hair.
“So do you remember why I called you here?”
I was suddenly broken free from my stupor as I struggled to process the question.
“Uhh, I’m uh…I’m…uhh”
She giggled and placed a quieting finger over my lips
“You don’t need to worry about it pet, you don’t need to worry about anything anymore”
I sighed, that seemed so nice. She gave me another loving smile as I relaxed into her.
"Now pay attention pet, there's one last thing you have to learn about the button that turns off your brain. You know it can be pressed and you can be turned on and off, you know it can be held down and you can have new instructions installed. but did you know you can be reset completely?"
I just stared up at her, not fully comprehending
"It's true! I can just erase everything and start from scratch. and its going to feel so so good, you'll probably just cum the moment I do it. Then everything in your mind will be gone forever, doesn't that sound good pet?"
The words simply fell out of my mouth
"Yes Mistress"
"Good Girl, would you like to say goodbye?"
"...to who Mistress?"
"You silly"
She leaned down and kissed me on the forehead. My eyes rolled back and my mouth fell open as I gasped and moaned, pleasure I had never felt before wracked my body as my mind went blank.
…
“And now that everything in your mind is gone, I’m going to fill it back up. Your time as a slut did so good training you into my perfectly obedient little toy. But you aren’t a Slumber Party Slut anymore, you’re just Mine. You belong to me, and as far as you know, you always have. There is nothing else, there has never been anything else. You live here with me, and you do as you are told, because you are my perfect pet, my very good girl. All you need to know is that I am your everything. and Awake”
Mistress snapped her fingers and gently pushed the pet off her lap
“Pets don’t wear clothes”
Mistress said, and the pet started stripping while Mistress left the room. When the pet was naked she fell to her knees. without Mistress in the room there was nothing for the pet to do, nothing to even think. The moment Mistress returned, She consumed all of the pets attention. Looking for a sign, waiting for a signal. Mistress smiled at Her pet and approached, She was holding a collar in her hand. She put a finger under the pets chin and tilted her head up, then tightened the collar around the pets neck. Without a word She clipped a lead to the collar, turned around and walked away. The pet followed behind on her hands and knees, the pet enjoyed the pressure on her neck as Mistress gently pulled her.
“The leash is gonna stay on for a while, new pets are so very dependent, and I wouldn’t want you to wander too far”
She stopped in front of a computer desk, leaned down and clipped the other end of the leash to a hook set up beneath the desk. With another gentle tug She dragged the pet underneath, then pulled up a chair and sat down. Mistress rested her feet on the pet and went to work on something. The pet curled up and started getting comfortable in her new home…no…this had always been her home.
#hypnosis#hypnok1nk#brainwashing#mind control#hypnostory#last one of this little series#gonna move on to something else now#still hypno though obviously#Mommy if you're reading this I love you
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Hello back from the dead, and in my revival I think I may have found heaven because,
WHAT IS ALL OF THIS????? THEY’RE BEAUTIFUL (And give off black butler vibes but that’s for a later date…) Ahhh, they’re all dressed so regal, and dead! Their gray color palettes really feed off that vibe (Riddles card reminds me a bit of Ghost!Riddle, without all his experimental stitches and transparency).
May I offer up, Ghostly Butler!Twst x Reader, where you wander into a haunted manor, and before you know it the doors are locked behind you, with no way of escape, save for the several men who are bowed down at your feet, ready to serve your every need, except your escape. You’re sat all alone at the elongated dinner table, all of them patiently awaiting your next command, but you’re too horrified of them to even utter a word!
For the next week you’re essentially serenaded in praise and luxury care. Though it’s a bit suffocating with them doing everything for you… can’t even take a bath without one or two of them scrubbing your skin with the gentlest of touches. Even when they’re gone, you attempt to leave the haunted house with heavy caution, and suddenly all of them surround you, carefully pulling you away from your chance of exit as they chastise you, why are you leaving dear? They’re here to serve your every need, surely there’s no service like that waiting for you outside…
Surely there isn’t… There better not be.
You’re the reason they’ve awoken from their long long slumber, they must repay you for all you’ve done, through comfort, through luxury, through pleasure, through sorrow, they will serve you with all their heart. After all, the moment you stepped foot in this ghostly residence, the decision of giving all of themselves to you, was already decided.
(I need playful land to hurry up now, I need this event to come to eng servers ASAP!!)
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Simon Riley x Maid!Reader
based on this text post
Summary: Simon has a house cleaner come clean once a month. What happens when she goes on vacation, and you're her replacement?
warnings: sfw but theres tension 😋, will make an nsfw part two if you guys want it :), Simon being big and scary and offputting per usual, lots of internal dialogue
a/n: loved this concept, and since I actually worked a door to door cleaning job I thought this fit so well and needed to write it. hope u enjoy :)
You took a deep breath.
These were the steps you were to take in this job. You had no reason to feel unsafe or in danger of any sort. Yet, the thought of walking up and knocking on this door had your heart in your stomach.
Simon Riley Is what the work order had listed as the clients name. Ex Military. Large German Shepard named Riley. Liked his wooden floors cleaned with vinegar instead of the regular cleaning solution. Nothing too out of the ordinary.
Except for the entry instructions. The small box on the piece of paper that would normally hold a few finely printed words, things such as "Homeowner will be not be home, key is under welcome mat"
or "Homeowner will be home and located in office on second floor, door will be unlocked"
had big, bold font to start. Your manager had to go in and manually change that detail, and knowing her, that must mean this is serious.
The box reads-
"DO NOT ATTEMPT TO OPEN DOOR. HOMEOWNER IS EX MILITARY AND EXTREMELY STRICT. RING FRONT DOORBELL ONCE AND WAIT."
Yeah. Very normal and not at all gut-wrenching.
You keep taking deep breaths as you go through your routine. Read the work order thoroughly once more, try not to shit yourself, go and grab your equipment, and follow the instructions.
Easy. Just follow the routine.
Your equipment is as big and clunky as usual. With a vacuum on your back, a bucket full of microfiber towels, a backpack full of chemicals, and knee pads on both knees, you knew for sure you were a sight for sore eyes.
You're not quiet as you walk either, each step making every plastic piece of your puzzle clunk and scrape in a cacophony of reminders of why you were here. You thunk and bang your way up the front porch, eyes everywhere but the front door, still taking deep breaths as you try to just focus on your surroundings, taking note of the nice front garden and walkway as you pass.
You finally settle on the front porch, your arms dropping the bucket and preparing yourself for the big push to start this job.
One ring, you remind yourself. Then wait. Deep breath.
You look up to find the door bell, hand pulling up in a search for the button when you see him.
He must have heard you, you decide as he stands behind the screen door with his arms crossed.
Simon Riley is massive, standing what feels like a clean foot taller than you, big muscled arms bulging from his tight t-shirt. They're as big as your head, his thighs probably twice so. His face was pulled down in a heated gaze, though the bottom half of his face was covered by a black mask. He was scary as he stood there, his aura menacing and doing nothing to sooth your nerves.
Yeah, ex Military makes sense, Jesus christ.
"Ya pissed of my dog, allat noise." You jump, the deep british voice startling you as he begins chastising you. His face frowns down it you, his eyes angry. You're speachless, "Well? Talk."
You stammer as you realize you were just sitting and staring in awe, mind suddenly back on track and then derailing again as you have no idea what to say.
The routine, Jesus christ the routine what's the next step. You scramble for your binder, pulling it open to his work order page and looking up at him as you muster up the courage to speak.
"Um, are you, uh, Simon Riley, sir?" You ask, stuttering and staggering between every word.
He reaches foreword and opens the screen door, getting a good look at you first before he can respond.
"Hm. You the cleaning lady?" He questions, the hand not holding the door open now stuffed in the pocket of his pants.
"Mhm, yeah, im- uh. I'm from Housekeeping Heros, you have an appointment for, um-" you start rustling through more pages of the binder, desperate to find the information, needing to prove to yourself more then him you were in the right place.
"I know i 've an appointment," He holds out his hand and halts your movements. You relax, all the horrible conclusions you were drawing coming to an end. Though, as per usual, they were quickly replaced with new ones, his voice still short and snippy with you.
Deep breaths, girl, we can do this.
He points to your small pile of equipment. "Ya need 'elp?"
You shake your head no, suprised he'd offered. Though he just responds with a head shake, motioning to give it here with his hands. And you do, you don't even second guess it, handing him your bucket and backpack without a second word, something in you submitting to him without a care in the world.
He turns around and walks everything into the kitchen where he gently rests it on the table, softer then you were expecting. You follow him in, feeling like a stray with your legs tucked between your legs as you fet settled. He looks at you expectantly.
Not sure what he's looking for, you start explaining the cleaning process, using your binder as a reference and pointing to each section. He stands behind you, arms crossed again and chin tucked down as he nods along with your words.
He points to the vacuum on your back, "Not round Riley, ya 'ear me?" He scolds. You take note of the large German Shepard snorring lightly on the couch.
"And none o' this shite," He kicks at your knee pads, pointing to a mop he had in the corner. Thank God, cleaning on your knees always sucked, and why your bullshit company made you do it anyways was a marvel.
"Oh, thank you!" You chirped up. He seemed to scowl further when your voice pitched up, so you slink back in on yourself. Understood, point taken, sir.
You still were not feeling great, the pit in your stomach unrelenting as you organize your stuff.
He looms close by. You figured he would, not doubting the "extremely strict" next to "ex military" on your work order at all.
You start with the first step of your process, filling the bucket up in the sink and soaking your towels in the cleaning solution.
"Where's yer boss?" He grumbles from behind you, making you jump.
"Um, Nancy?" Bucket now full, you throw the towels into the warm water with a dash of solution.
"Eh, whatever her name is," He grumbles. How polite.
"Haha, um." You giggle akwardly, "she's with family right now, I think," you stutter, trying to speak loud enough that he could hear you clearly.
He just hmphs in response. As your towels soak in the water, you reach for your extendable feather duster and start wiping the top corners of the room.
"Whats yer name?" He grumbles. It shocks you when he says it. He couldn't seem to care less about the other workers name, but he was interested in yours?
You told him, quiet, "sir," peeping out after. He just hmms again, leaning in the doorway with his arms crossed as he watched you work.
It was nerve-wracking, having him over your shoulder. He hadn't said anything yet, but it felt like you could feel the complaints waiting to come. You just kept up the deep breathing, taking the clothes out of the water and dispersing them on the countertops throughout the house.
He had a very large home, no mcmansion that took up half the street, but a pretty place tucked in a nice down town area. Honestly, if the home and neighborhood wasn't so gorgeous, you probably would've turned around and told your supervisor to give the damn house to someone else.
But thankfully, or not, Simon seemed to harbor a certain comfort for his homes presentation. The indoors of his home reflected it as well, the house put together like it was being staged, every inch perfectly in place.
Maybe that's why it's not so surprising when the first complaint does manage to leave his lips in the form of a hiss as you go to open a cabinet door.
"Oi, what do you think yer doing?" He hisses, rushing over to grab your wrist and pull it from the knob. You gasp as he's suddenly in your space and touching you, flinching as he does.
"Um, I just gotta m-make sure the insides don't need to be wiped down, sir," your muscles shake as you speak— him actually coming over and grabbing had you a little shook up.
He waved his hand infront of your face, dismissing whatever you have to say, "None of that. Don't need'a open nothing that ain't yours." you just nod, taking your first breath once he's finally out of your space.
That would've been a very good thing to include in the work order, Nancy.
Well, at least that's a few less things to worry about cleaning, though you may have failed your task of not shitting your pants, because good lord. He's right back to his perch on the wall, observing you carefully now.
You get into your routine, floating room to room and doing each task per the work order. You slowly scrub the slight musky smoke smell that lingers throughout, instead replacing it with the smell of cinnamon and detergent.
He likes watching you work, but he knows he doesn't show it, not a flutter or twitch anywhere to be seen. He growls small, careful, watch it, leave it, keeping you on edge through every movement.
You do move much faster than your college though, much more gracefully. He notices your wandering eyes, lingering on the photos on the wall and the dates on his calender. He let's you get away with it, for now. Figured he'd picked on you enough, should probably just let you finish your work.
That is, until you approach the end of your routine. You'd been scrubbing and whipping and Simon snipping and snyding for almost an hour now, you'd made excellent time and you hope Simon knows that.
It's all you can think about, actually. Him and the way he has you doting on him, some broken part of you combined with the fear his giant stature instills has you easily folding to do whatever he says and respond to his every grunt. It has your mind a little clouded, even more so as you swing through every step of your routine with practiced care.
It was finally time for the last step of the routine, and you shivered out a breath as you unwrapped the vacuum. Simon had sank a little further away, now sitting at the kitchen table with his eyes glued to a newspaper, anxiety settling slightly without his prying eyes.
You get the cord untangled and laid out across the carpet, searching the perimeter of the room for an outlet. You couldn't see any in the open, and not wanting to risk pissing off Simon for moving furniture, you start to round the corner in your search.
Suddenly, you're against the wall, a giant hand against your sternum as the breath is knocked out of your lungs. His face is in yours, eyebrows furrowed and breath hot on your face as he spoke.
"Tha fuck ya think your doin'?" youre confused and breathless, small under him as he leers above.
"I dont- im-" "Been nothing but nice to ya since you clambered yer way up my damn porch, and I gave you one fuckin' rule." His voiced is raised at you now, chastising you in that brazen, gravely tone. "One! and what do you go and try to do?"
You're just confused, what had you done to elicit this response from him? You thought he was complacent and quiet at the table, what of his million little rules could you have broken?
That's when you see it. Her, you should say. Rylie, the big German Shepard he'd warned you to by no means vacuum around, was bundled up on the couch, inches from where you stand.
Fuck. how had you forgotten.
"Sir, i- I didn't realize, I didn't know she was there sir i-" You desperately try to make an excuse for yourself, but he's just shaking his head at you.
"Do ya think flutterin yer eyelashes a little is gonna make everything better?" He mocks you, his big blue eyes locked on you. You shake your head no, half of it to answer him, the other half just you shivering where you stand.
"No sir- I'm sorry sir I didnt- I forgot you told me and-"
He's clicking his tongue at you, a tsk tsk to put you to shame. To your suprise, each click when straight to your core, and suddenly the heat in the room is rising. Your body is flushed and your sure your face matches, if the way his eyes crinkle when he looks up at you says anything.
His hand doesn't leave your sternum, as he speaks, Inches from your face, "too good at this to be forgetting," he shakes his head, the praise a little shocking, and the soft, "too pretty," that follows it hammers the fact.
You breath is caught in your chest again as he leans into your ear, eyes wide and mouth clamped as he murmurs a deep.
"So how do you think I should go bout making sure you remember?"
#simon ghost riley#simon riley x reader#simon riley x you#simon ghost x reader#simon riley x housekeeper!reader#ghost#ghost cod#ghost x reader#ghost x you#cod fanfiction#ghost cod fanfic
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New Beginnings
Characters: Zayne/fem!reader
C/w: 1.4k! (Read at your own risk, meant for +18) mentions of breeding, married life, somewhat graphic descriptions of sex. Zayne wants to be a father although he doesn't admit it..he just wants to get you knocked up.
A/n: Finished writing this instead of my english essay because... There's also a Rafayel fanfic in the making so stay tuned for more <33
“Zayne? It’s 1am, you still haven’t come back to bed..” I said, leaning against the door frame as he sighed, typing away on his computer while passing a hand across his hair, trying to calm himself down.
“I know. I’m sorry, I’ll be there”
“That’s what you said an hour ago..you’re tiring and exhausting yourself to the point of death at this point” Zayne sighed, closing his laptop and getting up from his desk chair, walking towards me with a soft grin trying to comfort me.
“Are you satisfied now?” He asked, hugging my waist as we walked towards our shared bedroom. Ever since we got married, Zayne has gotten more work than usual piled up on his desk every time I go to visit him at work. It worries me that he’s overworking himself because of money, which hasn’t been an issue at all given he’s a doctor and works in a very respected hospital. But what other reason might it be? I laid in our shared bed, feeling myself drift away to sleep when suddenly, Zayne wrapped his arms around my waist.
“Mhm, thank you” I replied, snuggling up to him while caressing his soft dark strands of hair that fell on his face, smiling. He muttered something under his breath that I couldn’t quite grasp as Zayne kissed me goodnight. I couldn’t help but stay awake for a few minutes, looking at the city lights by the window and back at Zayne’s sleeping form beside me.
Woken up by the sound of something crashing from the kitchen, I got out of bed with a small yawn, walking down the corridor of our lovely home to see Zayne had a mess of pancake batter all over his “kiss the cook” apron while sighing in annoyance before turning towards me.
“There’s shards of glass on the floor..please, be careful” I nod, grabbing a broom from the closet room and coming back to see Zayne was picking up the broken pieces from the floor. I suddenly stepped in one while trying to hand him the broom which made him look at me with worry, I try not to cry as he can clearly see the tears pricking my eyes.
“I’m fine I swear..” Without a second thought, he quickly lifted me onto the kitchen counter, carefully yet skillfully removing the glass from my foot as Zayne chuckled.
“Having you like this, reminds me of our honeymoon. Remember when-” I stopped Zayne by placing a hand over his mouth, trying to not remember that day where he fucked me into oblivion in our hotel’s kitchen island, right before breakfeast too.
“Why must you always make me remember? It’s like you’re hinting at wanting kitchen sex right now..” A chuckle left his lips as Zayne’s body inched closer, his hands grabbing my waist gently, kissing my neck while whispering sweet words that had me falling into his desire.
“Because, shouldn’t being a husband imply taking care of his wife’s desires as their own? Is it too bad that I want to be greedy with you for a few moments?”His hands began to trail under my nightgown and towards my chest as he began to rub my nipples, making me whine while kissing him.
“Alright, fine. Just seeing you in this apron alone made me feel things, did you do it on purpose?” I asked half jokingly as Zayne kissed my shoulder before taking off my nightgown, leaving me naked on the counter while grinning ear to ear.
“Perhaps, although now I see what you’ve been meaning to hide all this time; you’re trying to rile me up, and it’s working” He then kissed me, taking his sweet time to stroke my clit, agonizingly slow, teasing me as I whined into his mouth. Zayne didn’t take this lightly and spread my legs apart in a second.
“And to think this wouldn’t have happened if you didn’t break the glass measuring vase today” I added, gazing over at Zayne who kneeled towards my pussy, blowing on it gently before sucking on it. I gasped as his tongue did wonders, had I really forgotten of that day, or was I too fucked out of my brains to remember? Possibly the latter. He suddenly grabbed my thighs, massaging them in a way that made my cunt drip with more arousal than before. Of course, I was impatient, so I grabbed Zayne’s hair, pulling him upwards as he got the message.
“Maybe it was fate or clumsiness on my behalf, at least we’re making something out of this.” He spoke, yet I was too focused on how quickly he was to take off his pants, making me wonder why the hell was he wearing work pants so early in the morning. Nonetheless, all my thoughts vanished out the window as soon as I saw his cock. It wasn’t less than average or more, slightly curved and girthy, the type that never wants to let go once he’s had a taste..that..is the man I married, and the man he will always be. The small but noticeable vein on the side made me drool as he stroked himself a few times before prodding at my entrance.
“Please, don’t make me wait longer, my love”
“I thought, you weren’t the type to beg for something, it seems there’s a first for everything after all” Pushing my hips to meet his cock, Zayne grabbed them harshly, not enough to leave a bruise but enough to put me in my place as he smiled. The moment he thrusted inside, I threw my head back at the overwhelming pleasure Zayne was giving me at the moment. My hand found Zayne’s shoulder as he continued to pound at my dripping pussy. He let out a sharp groan as he finally reached my g-spot, making me let out a breathy moan while speeding up.
“Is this what you- hah wanted all along? For me to breed you? Make you carry our child? Answer me.” Zayne’s voice dropped to that soft and warm yet firm tone I always loved. Without any doubt, I answered almost eagerly.
“Y-yes..! Oh fuck~!” I sobbed due to the stimulation he gave me, in a hazy rush, Zayne grabbed my thighs, thrusting sharply yet deeply, enough to make me crave more.
“You’d be such a good mom, look at you, all needy and willing for me. I can’t wait to expand our family with you” He said, panting afterwards as he unexpectedly came inside rather quickly than normal. Pulling his cock away from my puffy cunt almost regretting his decision not long before seeing his cum leak down with a faint smile on his face.
“Stay here, I’ll go grab a towel.'' I nod, smiling at his gentleness as he comes back to clean me up. Zayne’s lips met mine as a ‘thank you’ from my behalf for being so kind and sweet as always. We eventually got dressed once again as I looked at my husband through the mirror of our bedroom, walking downstairs as I stared at the kitchen momentarily.
“So..what are we going to do about breakfast?” I asked, causing him to laugh while he grabbed both the house and car keys as we exited the front door.
“I know of a brunch place that just opened up nearby, perhaps we could give it a try today”
Some weeks later, I started feeling sick and began vomiting sometimes during the morning. I had a feeling it was because I was pregnant, however, my husband wanted to run some tests for me in the clinic near the hospital he worked at, “just to be sure” his words not mine. At the end of the day, I returned home waiting for the results to come back as I heard the front door open. Zayne tried little to hide the smile on his face as he handed me the envelope from the clinic
“I don’t need to read the letter at this point with the way you’re smiling at me” I teased, opening it up to show that I was indeed 3 weeks pregnant with his child. Zayne hugged me briefly before kissing my lips ever so softly.
“I promise to be the best father for our child, thank you for allowing me to have the blessing to start a family the day we got married, I love you.” He spoke, tear-eyed as I hugged him back, crying happily onto his chest.
“I love you too..I’ll never regret marrying the man that treats me like a queen and makes sure I have everything I need.”
#love and deepspace#love and deepspace zayne#love and deepspace x reader#love and deepspace smut#love and deepspace fluff#zayne love and deepspace#zayne x reader#zayne x you#zayne smut#zayne
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Knight Aemond x Princess Reader The Hunt
Synopsis: The first days of having Ser Aemond as your sworn protector. Warnings: None (yet), Aemond being stubborn and in denial NEXT PART
“Princess,” Your knight greeted as you stepped out of your chambers to attend to the day’s engagements. You narrowed your eyes as you felt him walking a few paces behind you; it had been a week since he was assigned as your sworn protector, and for the past days that he had been by your side, you had only gotten a few phrases from him: “Princess,” “No,” and “Good morrow,” that was the extent of your conversations with him. It was quite frustrating if you were being honest.
“You don’t talk much, do you?” You asked as you walked with him down the halls, venturing toward the gardens to break your fast. “No, princess,” He replied curtly, making you sigh. Your old sworn protector was an elderly knight who once protected your mother, and with him came the warmth of familiarity. You had gotten used to chatting with him throughout the day, a sort of grandsire figure for you. Unfortunately, due to his age, your father granted him the option to retire, and now you were stuck with your new knight, who was practically just a brick wall with a sword.
You sat in the gardens, reading your book; Aemond stood behind you. You would occasionally hear the clink of his armor as he would shift his weight from one foot to the other. “Do you want some, Ser Aemond?” You asked, offering him the refreshments served before you. “No, princess,” came his reply once more. You nodded and pursed your lips; dreary days are certainly to come with him and his short replies.
Aemond observed as you sat leisurely in your seat, twirling your hair with your pampered hand as the other held a book. Aemond had never wanted this station. He became a knight not to watch over a spoiled and sheltered princess but rather to go into battle and find glory. It was a tragedy when your brother had chosen him as your sworn protector, impressed by his prowess during the kingdom’s last tourney.
“Brother!” Aemond was brought out of his reverie as he heard your voice laced with excitement. “You’re having a later start to the day,” Your brother mused and took a seat before you; you shrugged. “Good morrow, Ser Aemond,” Your brother greeted, “Good morrow, my prince,” Aemond greeted stoically. “How have you been finding your post? I hope my sister has not made it troublesome for you,” Your brother teased. He purposefully assigned Aemond as your knight because of his stern and rigid demeanor. You had grown quite unruly under the eyes of your past guard— able to escape him and go to god knows where; driving your father frantic about your whereabouts. “No, my prince,” Aemond replied; he had yet to encounter your true nature.
For the past week, your routine was quite simple: you would break your fast in the gardens, spend a few hours in the library, have luncheon with your mother, then go to your solarium to paint until the sun sets, and him escorting you to your family’s supper then eventually your chambers. It was quite mundane; even he could see how you had grown tired of your routine, but he supposed he should be grateful that you had not yet caused trouble.
Your brother hummed, and you rolled your eyes at him. “That reminds me; must I truly come tomorrow?” You asked; your brother furrowed his brows at your question. “To the hunt?” You nodded, “Of course! It’s my name day; you will not be so cruel and not attend your brother’s celebration.”
“But why must it be a hunt? You could have just thrown a ball,” You muttered, having despised the woods. “Do not tell me you’re still scared,” Your brother suddenly laughed, and Aemond’s interest piqued at his words. “I was chased by a wild boar! I could’ve died!” You exclaimed, greatly frowning at how amused your brother was. “You were only chased by a boar because you have escaped your guard! That is why you do not wander off into the woods in the dead of night!” Your brother laughed, recalling the moment a few years ago when everyone in camp was searching frantically for you in the dead of night, only for you to appear by the tree lines screaming, crying, and running away from a boar.
Your brother sighed as he saw a pout on your lips and offense in your eyes, “You’ll be just fine, sister, as long as you stay near Ser Aemond; he could ward off any boars that may come from you. They might seek revenge, we did have to slaughter their brother.” he teased as he stood, placing a chaste kiss on your temple before walking away.
When the following day came, Aemond heard you calling upon him inside your room. “Yes, princess?” He asked, “Could you call for a squire to fetch my trunks?” You asked, Aemond unable to control his frown as you stood by a pile of trunks almost as tall as you. He turned towards you, who had noticed his frown, and he quickly returned his expression to his ever-stoic face. “I wish to be comfortable,” you mumbled, sensing judgment from your knight. Aemond bowed, “As you wish, princess,” He stepped out and called for squires to carry the plethora of luggage you wished to bring for the two-day hunt.
When you arrived at the campgrounds, Aemond led out his arm to assist you in disembarking the wheelhouse. Cheers from the attendees rang out as your family came into view. Aemond watched with his keen eye for any threat; it would seem you attract most of the attention. Smiling and waving to the lords and ladies, it is known that you were well-loved by the realm, but Aemond could still not understand why. Aemond rolled his eye as you two passed a group of young lords who shamelessly vied for your attention, you offering them a sweet smile and even a wave. Aemond swore he saw one of them blushing like a maiden, pathetic.
When you entered the tent, Aemond stood outside at his post, trying not to let the harsh sun and the material of his armor get the best of him. It was unseasonably warm, and if Aemond were a lesser man, he would have succumbed to the heat. When the sun was at its peak, Aemond straightened his stance as he heard delicate footsteps exiting the tent. “Do you want some refreshments, Ser Aemond? The sun may be too scorching,” You offered and extended a chalice of wine you brought specifically for your knight. You did that regularly with your previous sworn protector, fearing the demands of their duty may bring them too much discomfort.
Aemond’s hold on the hilt of his sword tightened as he did not know the reason for your actions. You often did this. Offering him refreshments or suggesting that he must rest. He was starting to believe this was a tactic of yours, offering and baiting him with kindness in order for him to ignore whatever misbehaviors you shall do—trying to distract and beguile him for him to turn away from his duty.
“I am on the watch, Your Highness,” He said, a bit too bitterly and harshly. An odd wave of guilt overcame him as he saw your face fall and your hand that was offering him a chalice of wine staggering. “Oh, I— I apologize; I did not mean to bother you,” You said quietly and offered him a small, apologetic smile before returning inside the tent, your attempts to make good and somewhat befriend your knight failing.
Aemond gritted his jaw as his gaze followed you as you disappeared behind a curtain, a gnawing feeling of guilt consuming his insides as he dismissed your kindness that he was trying to sell to himself as a ploy. He was certain your actions were not at all genuine, but as he recalled the way your face fell and the tone of sincerity in your voice, he thought perhaps he was too rash in his judgments of you. However, he tried to defend his actions, labeling himself cautious as it was too easy to fall for your charms. He cannot leave himself defenseless in the hands of temptation.
#aemond fanfiction#house of the dragon#aemond one eye#aemond targaryen#aemond x reader#hotd aemond#aemond modern au#prince aemond#prince aemond x reader#prince aemond fic#prince aemond targaryen#prince aemond x you#hotd fandom#aemond targaryen smut#aemond smut#hotd smut#hotd fanfic#hotd fic#house of the dragon fanfic#aemond targaryen fanfiction#aemond targaryen x reader#knight x princess#aemond the kinslayer#ewan nation#hotd season 2
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seven minutes in hell (roman godfrey x reader)
WARNINGS: 18+, public sex(??), voyeurism, emotional extortion (Roman is such an ass omg), groping, foul language, smoking, angst, mentions of sex
summary: after you made out with Roman during a game of seven minutes in heaven, he insists that you owe him for not telling Letha about it-- how can someone so beautiful be so evil?
word count: 8,192 (yes I know lol)
PART 1, PART 2, PART 3, PART 4, PART 5, PART 6, PART 7, PART 8, PART 9, PART 10
a/n: after having my inbox flooded w sweethearts asking for a part two, here you go!! I do advise new readers to read the first one before this, because idk how much sense this is going to make without it lol, but enjoy!!<33
Paranoia. That was the only word that could describe the week that followed the party where Roman and I had kissed.
I had spent every waking moment wondering when Roman would show up to cash in his debt or prick me with a goddamn needle. His words lingered in my mind, haunting me; "Fine, I'll be nice. But you owe me," The reminder of those words sent a shiver down my spine, and I couldn't help but wonder how I could've been so stupid as to rope myself into something like this.
Roman knew I liked him. In fact, he knew it very well. I couldn't even mask my feelings with hatred anymore, and everything about that made me want to throw myself off a cliff-- that would probably be more merciful than whatever it was that I had in store.
After we had made out during seven minutes of heaven, I had to tell my best friend, Letha, that nothing had happened. If she found out that I had made out with her cousin, I doubt she'd want to have me hanging around any longer. And quite frankly, Letha was my favourite person in the whole world, so it was detrimental that she stayed close. She was like a ray of sunshine peeking out through heaps of stormy skies; there was no way in hell I'd lose her without a fight.
Which is why I needed to keep Roman in check, along with my body un-pierced by any incoming needles.
The first time I saw him after the party, was a few days later in the cafeteria at school. I had stopped in my tracks, completely turning to stone as I watched him with his friends. It was almost as though I was afraid he'd see me if I moved, and to my shock, that's exactly what happened-- as I shifted my weight from one foot to another, harshly gripping my tray of food, his eyes landed on me with a quickness that immediately threw me into a state of panic. I bolted with speed I didn't know I had, not stopping until I reached the other end of the school, panting.
The second time had been at the library. I had been looking for a specific book that was quite old, meaning I had to do a lot of searching-- the librarian had been of no help, of course. As I scoured the shelves of endless books, crouching down to get a look at the lower sections, I suddenly felt a pair of eyes on me from above.
I looked up to find Roman's green eyes staring at me from the other aisle; his height made it ridiculously easy to lean over, having no visual obstruction of my side of the shelf. Something about the smirk playing across his lips made me freeze up-- it felt like I was prey, about to be eaten whole. I let out a squeak of horror as I grabbed the first book I saw, not letting him get a word in before I dashed towards the exit without a second thought.
The third time was the absolute worst; I had been walking down the stairs with Letha, on our way to our shared history class, as we suddenly encountered Roman on his way up. I felt my heart beat against the books I now pressed tightly against my chest, holding my breath as he neared us with a conniving look on his face-- I was quite sure I had lost all the blood in mine.
As Roman and Letha had a conversation about some sort of family dinner later, I did my best to make myself as small as possible; I wondered whether I should slip away into the crowd or just throw myself down the stairs.
I was quite sure that it was clear to Roman why I was avoiding him, and I was even more sure that it also was amusing to him. It was rather obvious, with the way he obnoxiously eyed me up with a growing grin. "You okay?" he asked, nudging me. "You look spooked."
Asshole. Just the slightest touch was enough to make me flinch, and my words came out in a breathy mumble; "I'm fine,"
Roman nodded, exchanging a look with Letha. He grew taller when he took a step up, inching closer as he leaned over to check which books I had pressed up against my chest. His long, slender fingers reached forward to tug at one of the books to get a better look, and I would've missed the note he slipped down along the front of my history book if I had blinked. As Roman pulled away, dragging his fingers through his hair as though nothing had happened, I held my books as tight to my chest as I possibly could to not let the note slide down to the floor.
My heart was beating harder than ever as Roman made his way past me, his familiar cologne lingering in my system as Letha and I made it to class five minutes early. As she left to use the bathroom, I could finally put away my things, inhaling a shaky breath as I checked the note;
meet me behind school in an hour, or I tell Letha everything
I couldn't help the groan that escaped me, ripping the piece of paper to shreds. This was not going to end well.
。゚•┈୨♡୧┈• 。゚
Somehow, I had managed to pry myself away from Letha for long enough to make it in time for my meeting with Roman. I was tugging at the sleeves of my jumper, anxiously ripping at the fabric. Wondering whether I should've worn protective gear to shield myself from any needle-kinks he might impose on me, I trembled with fear-- I didn't want to see him.
Despite my wishes, Roman eventually came around the corner, a rather mischievous smirk spread across his soft, pink lips as he neared me. His hands were tucked into his pockets as he leaned against the wall next to me, his green eyes etching themselves into my skull. His usual cardigan was draped around his shoulders and over his white shirt, tied in the front, as he crossed his long legs in the classic Roman Godfrey stance. "I'm glad to see you came,"
"As if I had a choice," I mumbled, glancing at our surroundings, not wanting to be caught alone with him here. I had to do everything in my power not to look at the casual swoop of his hair, not wanting to think about how handsome he looked right now. "What do you want?"
Roman blinked twice, almost as though he had expected me to say something else. "Isn't it obvious?"
I was afraid my heart was pounding audibly in my chest. "No," My gaze darted down to my shoes, kicking away a nearby rock. "Can't we just forget any of it ever happened?"
"Well, that was sort of the draft of the original plan," Roman said, shrugging. "But you've clearly not been able to forget it, with the way you've been avoiding me for a week now... So it seems we have to resolve this, somehow."
Did this mean that I had only made things worse for myself? I wanted to hit my head against the wall and bleed out-- that would probably feel better than what I was feeling on the inside right now. "The actual kiss hasn't been on my mind much... Mostly just the needles,"
Roman let out a huff-- was it a laugh? "I'm not going to fucking poke you, could you calm down about that?"
"I can't be sure when it comes to you, Roman!--"
"So you haven't thought about it?" He cut me off, eyes sparkling with the need to know. "The kiss?"
If I'd had something to throw at him, I would've done so in a heartbeat. Why was he so keen on knowing that? "Not much,"
"Only at night?"
I couldn't even hold back my grimace, listening to him snickering like a proud toddler. "Definitely not," I grumbled, now kicking at another rock. "Why does it matter to you?"
Roman shrugged; "I don't think you understand how intriguing it was to find out you've liked me all this time," He watched as I continued to tug at the sleeve of my sweater, looking like a nervous wreck. The image before him made his grin widen. "You've been the biggest bitch ever, do you know that? I was dead sure you hated my guts until you begged me to fucking kiss you!"
"I didn't beg!" I exclaimed, protesting. "In your fucking dreams, Roman!"
He rolled his eyes, taking a step towards me. Feeling his presence inching closer, I stopped kicking the scattered rocks around me, looking up to meet his gaze.
Roman leaned down, matching himself on the level of my widening eyes. He studied me as I froze to my spot like an icicle, holding my breath to not get swept up in thoughts of how good he smelled and how soft his lips looked up close. "You're still running your mouth," he mumbled, and I felt his eyes fall on my lips as well. "I thought you might get a little nicer if I complied with your little kiss."
His way of thinking had me furrowing my brows, confused. Was that why he kissed me? A tiny piece of my heart broke, the hope I had buried deep in my gut dissolving. Why had I ever hoped that his reasons for kissing me the way he did had been different? "I'll be nice if you agree that I don't owe you anything anymore. It's been driving me nuts,"
With this, Roman broke out into a rather abrupt laugh; "Are you kidding? There's no way in hell I'd absolve you of that, anymore,"
The laugh felt so damning, I couldn't help but shudder. I was two seconds away from kicking him instead of the rocks. "What do you want, then?"
Roman straightened up, the look on his face giving away that he was debating what to choose. "It's probably not something as bad as you expected it to be," he said, nodding to himself as he no longer met my hard gaze. "I'd just like it if you told me why you like me."
What? I stared up at him in disbelief, lips parting in shock. Had I avoided him like the plague over a simple question? Sure, it wasn't the most comfortable one to answer, but my mind had already concluded that he would stick me with needles like a voodoo doll and leave me for dead on a road somewhere. "Uh... Could I ask why?"
"Nope,"
I nodded; "Okay...?" Clearing my throat, I pondered where to start. I hadn't actually thought about this question, and I had to scour my brain for the answer. "I don't know," I eventually mumbled. "I guess I just think you're handsome." Saying it out loud physically pained me, but I knew I had to get this over with.
Roman blinked twice, meeting my gaze with a rather empty look about him. "That's it?"
"I don't know? I think so," I shrugged, searching through my mind for more. "You're my type, I suppose. Tall, brown hair, green eyes... And unattainable. I guess that a part of me likes that you'll never like me back." Saying this out loud, however, was even worse. I hadn't thought about it like that up until this moment.
Roman seemed even more confused than I did. "So it was nothing that I did?"
Something told me he was searching for something more meaningful, but I had always known that my crush was superficial. "I don't think so..."
What followed would haunt me for days on end; Roman broke out into a rather maniacal laugh, running his hands through his hair in clear denial. "So it's just the same, then," he said in between hiccups of laughter. "It's not about me at all!"
I could only watch as he went into some sort of a mental storm, biting down on his lower lip to suppress the noise. "I don't think you quite understand how it is for no one to like you for you," Roman continued, now pacing back and forth as his trail of words sped up; "You've probably never had that problem, right? Guys probably like you because you're nice to them, I've seen that multiple times. Or that one guy that just hasn't left you alone since you sat together during assembly that one time-- what the fuck was his name?"
I held my breath; what on earth was I witnessing? "Roman, I think you're spiraling, let's just breathe--"
"Daniel, wasn't it?" Roman finally looked back at me, a cramped smile on display along his lips. "He definitely likes you for you, right? Not just because you're cute? That must be fucking nice."
I had never imagined that I would pity someone for only being liked for their looks. Somehow, I found myself wanting to comfort him, and I had to fight that instinct. "It would probably be easier for you to find something real if you weren't such a prick," I mumbled. "If you didn't tug people's hair, throw stuff at them, or stab them with needles?"
That seemed to be enough for Roman to take a step back from his weird state, his pacing coming to a halt. Something seemed to be dawning on him, a crushing realization that should've come about ten years ago, but instead of taking it like an adult, he retaliated; "Well, you're not exactly doing any better than me! You've liked me for God knows how long, and you've treated me like utter crap!"
"Because you did the same to me!" I said, feeling my voice raise with my emotions. "You've had no interest in me, along with all the bullshit you've pulled all year! Don't you think it would probably be easier for me to like you for who you are if you had been a pleasant person to be around?"
Groaning, Roman turned his back to me, ready to walk away. After taking a few steps, he turned on his heel, facing me once more. Fury was burning in his green, green eyes, fists balling up as he spoke; "This is not over. You tell anyone just a tiny fraction of this conversation, I'll tell Letha I fucked you raw,"
My jaw fell in complete and utter shock as he walked away, cursing myself to the heavens and beyond. How had I managed to make this an even bigger mess than it was before I came? As I went back to kicking rocks, trying to catch my breath, bits of the conversation suddenly came back to me; did he just say that I was cute? That he had seen me with Daniel during assembly, and that he had spotted me talking to my previous flings?
This only made everything furthermore confusing; it was obvious that he didn't like me, either. But what on earth was going on in that brain of his?
。゚•┈୨♡୧┈• 。゚
The next time I saw Roman was a few days later in the hallway during rush hour. I had spent several nights tossing and turning, trying to decrypt the conversation that continued to haunt me. The conclusion I arrived at, was that he might be lashing out with the needles and the childish behaviour because he didn't know how else to express interest.
But then again, that would mean that he was very interested in me. I was sure something was wrong with that conclusion, but I couldn't pinpoint any other possible theory at this moment. I also couldn't shake how upset he looked when he found out my crush was purely superficial; was his need to be seen for who he was so overpowering?
So when I finally flagged him down, Roman was in a rush, and this was rather unfortunate; my legs were much shorter than his, and I had to go into a jog to not lose sight of him. Eventually, I caught up to him, grabbing his wrist and tugging at the sleeve of his shirt to get his attention.
Roman seemed rather confused, glancing down at me with a wild look in his eyes which quickly died out when he saw who it was. "What are you doing?--"
"You smiled at me in class," I confessed, feeling my cheeks redden. "The sun was hitting your eyes in a way that made them extra green, and you smiled at me and handed me a pencil. That's when I knew I liked you." Slowly, I pried my fingers away from his wrist, letting out the breath I didn't know I had been holding. It felt like an enormous weight had lifted off my shoulders, like the anxiety that clung to me had been washed away in a calm stream of water in the mountains.
Why did I feel such strong a need to tell him my crush wasn't purely superficial? That it had stemmed from the simplest act of kindness? I couldn't quite put my finger on it. Did I pity him that much?
Roman's pupils expanded, and he stood as if glued to his spot. People kept passing us by, but it was as though all the surrounding sound died out. It was clear that his mind was racing, his brows drawing together in confusion-- or was it disgust? I couldn't be sure. Either way, my heart was thumping so hard in my chest that it hurt.
I cleared my throat; "Have... a nice day," Before he could answer or make fun of me, I turned on my heel and bolted down the hall, knowing my heart wouldn't be able to take it if he shut me down once more.
I couldn't take any more of this. Clutching my heart as I made it to my locker, I knew I had to get ready for class and that I didn't have time for the crushing feeling taking over my chest.
。゚•┈୨♡୧┈• 。゚
A big part of me had hoped that our last interaction would be the end of it all. That I wouldn't have to owe Roman anything anymore, that he wouldn't be threatening to tell Letha that we kissed or fucked or whatever-- I should've known that was an unattainable reality.
I was practically falling asleep at the end of a long day of school. Exhausted, I allowed myself to close my eyes as I leaned my head against my palm, elbow at my table, waiting for class to start. A worrying thought popped into my head as I realized that chemistry was the only class I shared with Roman, which meant that he would probably be showing any time soon.
With a yawn, I blinked several times, hoping to wake up as I sat back in my chair. I was about to do some stretches, but as I turned to my right, I let out a yelp, nearly falling off my seat.
And I would've fallen right down to the floor if Roman hadn't grabbed the edge of my chair, holding me back with one hand as though it was nothing. "Careful, there,"
That's exactly what he had said when we were in that damn closet playing seven minutes in heaven. I shivered, getting a severe case of deja vu as I looked back at him in disbelief. "When on earth did you show up?"
"Right around the time you nodded off," Roman's books were already on the table-- had I genuinely slept for a minute or two? How could I have missed this? He let go of my seat with a snicker, shaking his head; "You're quite the case, aren't you?"
I didn't like the sound of that. "What do you want? Why are you sitting here?"
"Could you relax?" Roman rolled his eyes, his mood worsening by the second. "Look around, Sherlock, there's nowhere else to sit."
It pained me to realize he was right. With a huff, I fought the urge to kick him under the table. As the teacher finally entered the classroom, excusing himself for being a few minutes late, I let out a sigh of relief; I hoped to avoid talking to Roman as much as possible from now on. After I had confessed to him and gotten nothing in return again, I was dead tired of seeing his gorgeous face-- it was physically painful, at this point.
As class started, I reached into my bag to find a pencil. A good minute passed by as I rummaged around, which eventually garnered Roman's attention; he immediately knew what I was looking for. He turned to me with a spare pencil which he had lying about on his table, holding it out in front of me.
Someone up there was definitely playing pranks on me-- I was sure of it now. With an embarrassed smile, I watched as the sun hit the green of his eyes, illuminating them further as I reached for the pencil. The tips of our fingers touched, just for a few seconds, but it felt like I had almost burned myself with how my nerves reacted to the nudge of his hand against mine.
Roman seemed to understand the irony of the situation, the corners of his mouth tugging upwards into a dizzying look of kindness.
There it was. The root of all my problems-- the simplest act of warmth along with the most beautiful smile I had ever seen. The bullshit that started it all.
I hummed to myself as I broke eye contact, crouching over my table to start taking notes, desperate to distract myself. Every fibre of my being felt like it was buzzing with electricity, unable to calm down.
It didn't take long before Roman shoved a small note onto my part of the table. I gave him a look before I opened it, sighing.
we need to talk. meet me by my car after school
Turning to Roman, I couldn't help but glare; this again? But his smirk melted me in more ways than one, and I knew that it could have consequences if I didn't go.
Fuck.
。゚•┈୨♡୧┈• 。゚
I waited until there were almost no cars in the parking lot in front of the school, hiding away in the library in the meantime. I didn't exactly want to be seen talking to him. As I finally walked out past the front entrance, I held my breath as I spotted Roman leaning against his red jaguar, typing away on his phone. I wondered who he was texting-- was it Brooke from the cheerleading team? No, it couldn't be; unless she still wanted to be with him after he pricked her with the legendary needle.
It didn't take long for Roman to put away his phone, watching me as I neared him. Something about the way his hair lay in waves over his forehead made him look like even more of a heartbreaker than he already was. "Long time no see, hm?"
I didn't even want to fake being entertained by that-- we both knew that we'd seen each other in class less than twenty minutes ago. "What do you want?"
Roman rolled his eyes; "Can't you at least act like you like me? We both know you do,"
Something about being called out like that didn't sit right with me, but I swallowed my curses. I had to be on his good side, after all, so that he wouldn't turn around and tell Letha what had happened between us. "Did you want me to come skipping down the stairs and run to you?" I asked, getting a good look at him. "Or maybe a blowjob before I bake you a pie?"
A humoured smirk spread across his lips, giving in to a chuckle. "You could at least start by standing a little closer?" Roman put his hands up in the air as though he was surrendering; "Look ma, no needles!"
I huffed, complying. I took a few steps forward, watching the last car leave in my peripheral view. It was definitely not a good idea to be alone with him like this-- I should've known better.
This didn't seem to be enough for Roman, who proceeded to tap the spot next to him on the hood of his car.
I groaned; "Roman, come on--"
In a swift motion, he hooked his fingers inside my front pockets, dragging me forward as I yelped. Roman grabbed my hips, forcing me down on the car with a soft thud. With wide eyes, I turned to him, watching his hands disappear back into his pockets.
"You're infuriating," Roman mumbled under his breath, fishing out a pack of cigarettes from his right pocket. He held it out in front of me; "Want one?"
Honestly, I had only smoked once. It had resulted in me coughing up what felt like half a lung. "No, thanks,"
He shrugged, lighting up a cigarette as he hummed. This little dance around why he had told me to come made me further nervous, once again reaching for the sleeve of my sweater, tugging at the seams that had come loose. The smell of nicotine infiltrated my nose, and I turned to him just in time to watch him exhale a few rings of smoke, eyes transfixed on them as they evaporated into thin air.
Finally, Roman spoke up; "I'm calling for a truce,"
What? My eyes widened, scanning him for lies. "... What's the catch?"
Roman turned to me, a slight smile splayed across his lips. "You know me too well," he said, chuckling as a light breeze passed us. "I want us to play a game, and then all is forgotten."
"Oh no," I blurted out. "What kind of game, Roman? Can't you take pity on me just once?--"
I immediately shut up as I felt his arm wrap around me, holding out his cigarette in front of my mouth between his fingers. I wasn't about to start fighting him in an empty parking lot, so I parted my lips, accepting the cigarette despite knowing I would cough up everything I had eaten for lunch if I inhaled properly.
Roman's face was suddenly very close to mine; "Ever heard of this game... Wait, what was it called? Seven minutes in hell?"
For fuck's sake. I watched as he laughed, amused by his joke. Still, my eyes darted down to his bouncing leg, watching as he gave away a sliver of nervousness. I reached for the cigarette, getting it out of my mouth; "Sounds about right," Balancing it between my fingers, holding it out in front of his mouth just as he had done to me, Roman hummed as he wrapped his lips around the cigarette, taking a puff.
Before Roman could take it back into his hand, I pulled the cigarette away from him, putting it back into my mouth. Something about sharing the cigarette was making a familiar ache between my legs throb, which in turn made me cross my legs. I didn't inhale the smoke into my lungs, keeping it in my mouth before breathing it out, knowing it was hard to differentiate between that and the real thing. "Where would we play?" I eventually said, glancing at him.
Now that we were sitting like this, Roman's arm around me, I realized we hadn't been this close since that party where we had kissed. Something about his embrace was comforting, despite me knowing that he was doing it to take the piss out of me. However, my steadfast belief in his reasons became shaky as I met his eyes, watching how unusually big his pupils were as he looked down at me, a certain calmness about him. "My car?"
I couldn't help but giggle as I handed him the cigarette, our fingers meeting in the exchange. "I'm not making out with you in your car,"
"Why not?"
"Every single cheerleader slut at this school has been in the back of that thing,"
Roman shrugged; "Not everyone. Eleven out of fifteen,"
"Ew, you're not making it any better!--"
"Fine!" he huffed, giving me a squeeze with the arm he had around me. Roman put out his cigarette by throwing it to the ground, giving it a proper stomp before he turned to me, a mischievous smirk on display. "No one has been in the front, though."
It was hard to say no when he looked at me like this; how was it possible for someone so conniving to be so beautiful? I had to look away from Roman-- it was getting impossible to breathe. Tugging at my sleeves once more, I realized I had ripped out a new seam. "Look, I have to say I'm a little confused... You're not even into me, so I don't get why you'd want to kiss me again," I let go of my sweater, realizing I would probably manage to rip it all apart if I didn't calm down. "It really is a power thing for you, isn't it?"
Roman hummed, rubbing my arm in a soothing manner as he stared out at the parking lot with a rather hollow look in his eyes. "Yeah... That's definitely what it is,"
I didn't have time to wonder why he didn't sound so convinced. As I dared to look at him again, I watched him lost in thought, pondering something. I took that as my cue to get out of playing his game; "Making out would probably be fun and all, but don't you think it is more beneficial for you if we maybe got to... I don't know, know each other?"
Confused, Roman's gaze darted back to me. "Why?"
"You seemed to be a little upset that I didn't like you because of you, remember?" I gave him a playful nudge, drawing forth a smile. "Instead of imposing your weird dominance kink or whatever it is on me, wouldn't you want to prove that there's more to you?"
This seemed to strike a chord with Roman, who slowly started to nod in approval. "That... doesn't sound so bad,"
I damn right hoped so-- I let out a shaky breath, relieved to not become the twelfth girl to end up in Roman's car.
。゚•┈୨♡୧┈• 。゚
I couldn't believe that I had managed to fix myself up with a date with the Roman Godfrey. He was practically known for never going out on dates with anyone, but here I was, running around my room trying to find something nice to wear.
However, there was one tiny hoop I had to get through-- Letha was on speaker phone as I rummaged through my drawers, and my heart was racing as I tried to avoid her questions."I still don't get why you can't hang out today!" Letha whined, clearly upset with me. "I thought you were going to help me pick out some shoes down at the sale!"
I grimaced, feeling like the biggest prick on the planet. "I'm sorry, Letha, I'm just not feeling too good..." With a heavy heart, I could hear her sulk on the other end as I finally found the perfect bag.
"I've barely seen you this week... You've been so jumpy, I just feel like you're avoiding me. Did I do something?"
No, no! I was about to protest until I heard a sound coming from my driveway; I made my way to my window, glancing down at Roman's red car, watching as he parked. Clearing my throat, I rushed to my phone; "Letha, I'm so fucking nauseous, I think I need to throw up... I'm so sorry, could I call you back later?"
I heard her sigh; "Get better soon, okay?--"
As Roman started honking outside, clearly impatient, I had to leave the call without even saying goodbye. Groaning, I gathered my stuff, making my way down the stairs and outside with hurried steps. "Stop that!" I said, trying to steady my breathing as I approached the car. "My parents are inside!"
"So what?" Roman's cocky smirk was on display as always, tapping his fingers against the steering wheel. "Whatever dumb fuck told you I'm a patient man, is a dumb fuck." Roman got out of his car to open my door on the other side. It was nice to see that he had a gentleman bone in him-- it gave me hope that this date wouldn't crash and burn.
And weirdly enough, it actually went quite well. I had been worried that he'd take me out shooting or whatever it was that he did in his free time, but Roman settled for something simple-- we were currently sat in my favourite café in the city, having the most normal conversation we'd ever had.
"You're kidding me?" Roman said, putting down his coffee with a look of shock on his face. "You've never seen The Godfather?"
I couldn't help but huff-- this was a solid reminder that he still was a guy at the end of the day. "I haven't gotten to it, I guess,"
"Well, you have to!" He ran his fingers through his styled hair, shaking his head in disapproval. Roman was wearing a different shirt today that I hadn't seen before, and I was getting the feeling that he had actually dressed up a bit despite how casual this date was. "What else haven't you seen?"
"Uh, I don't know?--"
"What else haven't you done, is probably a better question," Roman was grinning from ear to ear now, eyes sparkling in anticipation. "First kiss?"
"David Parker, eighth grade," I put down my milkshake with a smirk, happy to be sizing him up. "You?"
Roman seemed beyond amused; "Amanda Reiley, sixth," He leaned forward, placing his elbows on the table, intrigued that I wasn't backing down from his intrusive questions. "First time?"
I had to suppress a cough, feeling as though I was choking on air. There was no way in hell I'd tell him I hadn't had sex yet. "... Some guy I met on vacation last year in Greece, don't remember his name,"
"Really, now?" Roman hummed, leaning back against his chair. "Not buying it. You squirm like a virgin every time I look at you."
My breath caught in my throat-- "Pardon?"
It seemed that my reaction only amused him, but he still spared me by brushing over it. "My first time was with Denise Campbell, ninth grade. Was really sweet, actually,"
I tried to shake off the fact that Roman had been right in his deductions. The story of his first time was unexpected, and he had been quite young-- concerningly young. "Roman Godfrey and sweet don't usually go together, in my book. Did you light candles or something?" I took a sip of my milkshake, watching him break out into a smile.
"Honestly? I think she lit one," he said, a soft chuckle following.
I had forgotten how beautiful his laugh was. Flustered, I put away my milkshake, tucking a strand of hair behind my ear as I met his gorgeous, green eyes. There was a calmness about him now, something I had trouble getting used to. It was a big contrast to the way he had looked at me while we played seven minutes in heaven, or the way he had been looking at me the whole week I had avoided him. The usual feeling of unease that crept up my system whenever he was around was long gone-- it was almost as though we were friends.
Nervous about my next question, I started picking at my nails; "So where did it go wrong?"
"Pardon?"
I didn't meet his gaze anymore. "When did it become casual to you?"
"Sex?"
"Sex,"
Roman hummed, taking a rather long sip of coffee. I wondered whether I had gone too far with the question, but he didn't seem fazed. "Didn't get too far with being sweet, I suppose,"
This was definitely a chapter in Roman's life that I hadn't expected to hear about-- who had broken his heart? And why was it comforting to know that he'd had that experience? Something about it made him more human. "That's sad," I mumbled, forcing myself to leave my nails alone. "Sweet usually gets you quite far."
Something about that seemed to intrigue him; he moved to the edge of his chair, closer. "Don't you girls usually like the bad guys? That seems to work well, in my experience,"
I shrugged; "It can be fun for a week or two. Any longer than that, and your heart starts to tire,"
"Ah," was all Roman said, tapping his fingers against the table in an impatient manner. "Would you want to get ice cream? It's on me."
This conversation was starting to give me whiplash. "I'm sold," I eventually answered, shooting him a smile. It was nice to know that he wanted to continue the date despite my intrusive questions-- I couldn't lie; I was rather enjoying myself. And my ego was getting the biggest inflation it'd had in a while, remembering he didn't usually go out on dates at all.
About half an hour later, we were now walking down the street with our ice cream, once again debating why I hadn't watched The Godfather-- boys really love that movie, don't they? I took the liberty of looking up at him as he explained the plot to me in excessive detail, watching his hands flail around in excitement as he spoke, eyes round and green, and the way a single strand of hair lay in front of his eyes, straying from his stylings.
The man I had hated this whole year suddenly became a person to me. A person with interests, quirks, and feelings-- weirdly enough. Roman didn't come off as a spoiled brat right now, and I could barely remember a time when I would run away from him and his needles. Like this, I could imagine sweet moments with Roman, possibly even holding his hand as we walked down this street, doing normal stuff together.
In another lifetime, I would have really liked just doing laundry and taxes with you.
However, I was quickly yanked out of my daydreams when I spotted a familiar figure leaving the shoe store across the street. With a panicked yelp, I grabbed Roman, dragging him down the nearest alleyway as I felt my blood run cold.
Roman looked beyond confused; "What are you?--"
"Letha!"
His mouth formed an 'o', watching me press myself up against the wall. "She doesn't know?"
I shook my head, letting out a shaky breath. This was definitely not what I needed right now. If she found out I was here with Roman and that I had lied to her, I was sure she'd have my head. Why couldn't I just melt into the wall and become immaterial?
With ease and calm, Roman grabbed my finished ice cream, putting it down on the ground along with his own before nearing me. "We'll wait it out,"
What? "Thought you were ready to rat me out?" I leaned forward, glancing past the corner of the alley, making sure Letha hadn't seen us.
"Well..." Roman put his hand on my shoulder, guiding my back to the wall once more. "I know she'd kill you, and you can't die before watching The Godfather."
Had I not been preoccupied with being quiet, I would've groaned right in his cocky face. The hand he had on my shoulder burned against my skin, and I was getting flashbacks to our time in the closet at the party where we had kissed. "I've repaid my debt to you now, anyway," I mumbled, warily glancing past the edge of the corner where we were standing, watching Letha from afar.
Roman's hand on my shoulder quickly made its way into my hair, fingers twisting themselves into the nape of my neck, forcing me to face him. I let my breath escape me as my lips parted, watching him with big, wide eyes; what was happening? It was at this moment that I realized how close he was standing, how he was practically pressed up against me.
There was something sinister about the look on Roman's face-- it suddenly dawned on me that he was still the same person, even though he had buried this side of him for a few hours. He would always thrive when seeing someone in an anxious state, feel joy at any visible conflict or misery, and it dawned on me how bad of a situation this was when his next words came out in a dangerous whisper; "I could just call her over here, do you know that?" Roman's grip on my hair tightened, almost enough to make me wince. "You've made quite a mess of yourself, sneaking behind her back. I could ruin you in a second."
"You won't, though," Fucker.
Intrigued, Roman's green eyes sparkled; "And why are you so sure of that?"
My chest was heaving against him, hating every second, every minute of this encounter. When had he turned into such a sadist? Was it after Denise Campbell in ninth grade? I wanted to make sure I asked him that next time. "Because this gets you high," I hissed. "This feeling that you get from watching me get scared? You're addicted. You're a fucking junkie."
I felt Roman breathe out against my lips, leaning closer, eyes burning into mine. I could see the flickering flames in them, and I knew that I had set them alight-- I was quite literally playing with fire at this point. "Well, this is who I am," he said through gritted teeth. "Do you get it now?"
"Get what?"
"Why no one likes me," Now, the fire died out, turning into an unintelligible emotion swimming in the green of his eyes. I didn't need to be a specialist to understand that he was baring his coping mechanism for me to see. "Why no one ever will. And why you will go back to hating me once we're done here."
It felt as though I had finally finished a puzzle with five thousand pieces. This was it. Had Roman made himself so unlovable to protect his feelings? Were all his stupid quirks just means to scare away girls so that they would stop liking him? I couldn't help but pity him-- beneath his harsh exterior, I could sense who he was beneath all of it. In a flash of emotions, I reached out to touch his face with a wary, gentle touch.
Roman's eyes widened, confused, as I moved away the strand of hair that strayed from the rest.
"I know you said this wouldn't be easy," I said, voice soft. "Whatever would ensue between us. And I spent a lot of time thinking about that, actually, and I think the answer is that you just make it hard for yourself." Sighing, I let my hands rest against his shoulders, watching his every move and reaction. It was obvious that he was caught off guard. "I pity you, Roman. But I thank you for making me realize how much guts one must have to feel... Why are you so scared?"
Roman just stared at me, his breathing coming out in shallow breaths through his nose. He stood as if frozen to his spot, and his hand left my hair, falling to his side as his eyes never left mine. "I'm not scared," he eventually said.
"You're terrified,"
"No,"
"There's no point denying, it's really fucking obvious--"
"No, it isn't!" Roman snarled, grabbing my hands, and prying them off of him. "Maybe I just don't like you in that way, have you ever considered that?"
I shrugged; "I have. But it still doesn't change the fact that I can read the fear on your face like an open fucking book,"
Groaning, Roman let out an exasperated sigh. He let go of my hands, the fury apparent in his unsteady breathing. It was obvious that he had never confronted his issues head-on, and that he didn't like the process one bit. "You need to watch your mouth,"
"Or what?" It was as though my fear had escaped me, staring him down with challenge burning its way through my veins. "You're going to tell Letha we fucked or whatever? Go ahead, see what I care! Just know that I will be telling the whole school that your dick is smaller than my pinky if you do."
Roman's eye twitched as he let out a guttural growl, body tensing up as he balled his fists, one of them returning to my hair. It was clear that I had angered him; he grabbed a fistful, yanking my head upward with a force that made me wince, pulling me flush against him. It was at this moment that I felt something press up against my stomach-- my eyes widened with the realization that he was hard. "Do you still like me?" he asked, his breath tickling the underside of my nose.
When I refused to answer, Roman took my silence as a yes. "You're going to hurt yourself if you continue to,"
"Wasn't it you who proclaimed me a masochist?" I answered, a smirk forming on my lips. Something told me that I had him cornered.
And I was right-- it was Roman's turn to go silent, staring into my eyes as multiple emotions flashed before him. Standing like this with him was almost comforting; I had finally deciphered him. I knew that he had practically built himself a fortress of hate and fired the canons at any signs of intrusions. He was so desperately human right now-- it was making me dizzy. Or was that just his harsh grip on my hair?
"Roman?"
A hum.
"You can kiss me now if you want to,"
The hand in my hair loosened its grip, and I watched as Roman inhaled a long breath, no longer conflicted.
And so our lips came together in the alley, a rather hungry kiss ensuing. My hands went up into Roman's hair, letting out soft gasps against him as he wrapped his arms around me, pulling me closer to him with a burning need. I could taste the remnants of the chocolate flavoured ice-cream on his tongue, the sweetness mixing in with the roughness of our kiss. I wondered whether he could taste the vanilla on mine-- chocolate and vanilla were my favourite mix, anyway.
I knew there was a possibility of Letha spotting us if she walked our way, but it only made me more desperate for Roman. I had missed him dearly, the memories of our last kiss having haunted me through every hour of every day. There was no doubt in it now-- he wanted me too. It gave me such an immense rush, along with the satisfaction of feeling how hard he was against me, the throbbing of his cock continuing against my stomach as he pressed me further into the wall behind me. Something felt wrong about him being aroused after our fight, especially now that we were practically in public, but I knew I didn't want to push him away just yet.
I was completely breathless by the time Roman shifted, his thigh now pressing up against the apex of my own. Caught off guard, I whimpered as he grabbed my hips, moving my hips against him as the kiss deepened, growing further needy. I could feel it in my bones; not only did he want me, he needed me. This was just about the biggest high I had ever had. Roman Godfrey-- all mine in this moment.
The friction between my legs, feeling his cock continuously brush up against my stomach through our clothes, had me gripping his shoulder, disconnecting our kiss to catch my breath. My head rolled back against the wall behind me as I pondered how I had allowed this to happen, not used to pleasure caused by others.
Roman's fingers wrapped around my throat, holding me in place as we rocked against each other, lips hovering above one another before they came crashing together once more, unable to keep away. I let out a broken whimper, my hands flying back up into his hair, pulling him closer as pleasure coursed through my veins in a way I hadn't ever felt before. I couldn't quite put my finger on what this was, but I had never been this certain that I liked it.
I let out a broken moan as my head rolled back once more, which in turn had Roman connecting our lips, muffling any sounds. This was where I was reminded that we were in public, wondering if I had gone absolutely mad-- I blamed it all on him. His beautiful eyes, his strong arms, and his addicting, soft lips. As Roman continued to grind me up against his thigh, pulling away to watch my lips part and my body squirm in pleasure, I gazed up at the way the corners of his mouth turned up into his signature smirk. He knew exactly what he was doing-- messing with me like this, practically in public.
It took a lot of willpower for me to push him away, whimpering slightly at the loss of contact. "We-- We can't," I said, catching my breath.
Like this, I could see how disheveled Roman's hair was, how his lips looked swollen with kisses, and it made my stomach flip-- how was it possible for someone to be so beautiful, even when completely unraveled?
Roman shrugged, grinning from ear to ear. It was clear that he was scanning my look of arousal; "My car is right around the corner,"
"Okay...?"
Leaning forward, Roman captured my lips in a short kiss. "I can park it somewhere desolate," he said, nipping at my lower lip.
I couldn't help but shiver-- that sounded really fucking nice at the moment, but I knew I had to control myself. And I wasn't about to lose my virginity in a car? "Another time," I mumbled, struggling to catch my breath. Who would've known that arousal could cloud the mind like this?
Roman nodded, accepting my words as a promise. "I'll hold you to that,"
Oh no-- This again? Great.
Just great.
(a/n: here are the links to PART 1, PART 3, PART 4, PART 5, PART 6, PART 7, PART 8, PART 9, PART 10!<33 thank you for reading!!)
#roman godfrey#hemlock grove#roman godfrey x reader#x reader#bill skarsgård#fanfiction#oneshot#bill skarsgard#fanfic#smut#angst#toxic relationship#reader needs a good shaking fr#ugh roman why why why#finally getting to use my psychology skills to decrypt Roman hihi
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"It's quite adorable, really." The villain's index finger followed the brim of the glass in lazy circles. They let their gaze wander to the wine and then back at the hero.
And the hero couldn't help but stare. Stare and pray.
Their hands were icy.
"Your invitation, I mean. I didn't know you were interested in going on a date with me," the villain said. Their grin reached from ear to ear and the hero couldn't help but stare at the villain's delicate fingers around the wine glass.
"I wouldn't consider this a date."
"I would. Food's fantastic."
"...it is." The hero stared at their own plate. They had mostly shoved food from one place to another, barely being able to get anything down. It seemed like guilt needed them to starve to make up for their actions.
"You look a little down," the villain said. "Shouldn't we be celebrating? This will probably be the first and last time we are agreeing on something."
There wasn't going to be a first time.
The villain raised a glass and the hero only nodded, mirroring their enemy's action.
"To us," the villain said.
"Uhm...to us, yeah."
"To Gods amongst humans."
"Oh..." The hero didn't repeat that but they put on a fake smile they deemed to be very convincing. "Of course."
Without much further ado, the villain let their glass clink against the hero's. It was quite a pleasant sound.
As so many times this evening, the hero watched their enemy take a sip. They clenched their hands into fists but all their nervousness, their nausea and their anxiety was for nothing - the villain simply smiled and set their glass onto the table.
And the hero continued to sweat. They didn't know why fate was torturing them like this but they hoped, truly hoped it would pay off.
"You look very lovely, if I am allowed to say that."
"You're allowed to say whatever comes to mind," the hero said. The villain raised a lazy brow.
"Is that so?" They took another sip.
And the hero didn't quite understand. They had put enough poison into the villain's drink to kill an elephant.
"Of course. I've always respected you for your honesty."
The villain smiled lovingly.
"I'm afraid I can't say the same thing about you," the villain said. The hero swallowed. They could feel cold sweat run down their back. "You've always been a little liar. No matter how heroic."
"I never...I wouldn't..."
"This wine, for example." The villain raised the glass and the hero was ready to drop dead on the spot. They knew. They knew about it. They were going to kill the hero right here. With everyone else in the restaurant. "You told me this is the best they have but...darling, it's really not that good."
The hero let out a nervous laugh.
"Oh, did I say that? I...I'm not really an expert when it comes to quality. I just...eh, I just drink whatever, honestly. And I liked this one the last time I was here, so I thought you might like it? Maybe?"
"That's very considerate of you." The villain tilted their head as if the hero was an adorable animal they didn't know if they should pet. "But you chose something else to drink?"
"I wanted to try something else. I like, you know, experimenting."
"Oh? Cheers, then."
Once again, they let their glasses bang against each other and before the hero could say anything, their enemy downed the drink.
Had the hero messed up somewhere?
"That reminds me..." the villain said. "Cheers is skål in Swedish. Isn't that funny? That's exactly the same word for bowl."
"Oh, I didn't know that," the hero said. They tried to smile but it was increasingly more difficult not to worry about being cut into pieces right here at the table.
Suddenly, the hero could feel the villain's foot on their bare shin, teasing them as if they were two lovers under the table.
"Do you know why?"
"...no."
"I heard somewhere that vikings used to serve their drinks in bowls," the villain said. They smiled sweetly. "And when their bowl banged against the other's, their drinks would mix. They did that to make sure the other wasn't poisoning them. It would be quite bad to have some of that poison in your own drink, wouldn't it?"
Holy shit.
"I..."
"But that's just a silly story I've been told. Dunno if it's actually true." The villain shrugged and leaned back in their seat. However, that didn't mean their teasing under the table was less significant. In fact, it felt a little too scandalous.
"I think I have to use the restroom," the hero mumbled. Their heartbeat was completely out of this world. They knew their heart was going to jump out of their throat any second now. "I'm sorry, I'll be back in just a second..."
The hero stood up, nearly knocking over the table.
"Wait, darling. Come here first." The hero did but they didn't expect the villain to grab their jaw and pull them down to their eye level gently. They turned the hero's head in their hand as if the hero's head was some kind of toy until they could whisper into the hero's ear. "Remember not to use any poisons I am immune to next time. But like I said. It's quite adorable. I enjoy your company."
They pressed a soft kiss to the hero's cheek.
The hero could barely walk to the restroom.
#yes yes I will be back to requests dont worry#writing snippet#heroxvillain prompt#heroxvillain snippet#heroes and villains#hero#villain#hero x villain#heroxvillain#poison
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The way you say my name
Feyd Rautha Harkonnen x female!Reader
Its pure smut and since its about Feyd, there are some warnings: he is not so gentle. There is desire on both sides and it ends up getting in the praise kink/forced orgasm territory.
Summary: Your planet has brought magic into the galaxy - a source of new spice- and upended the political status quo. You are the sole heiress of your house and the emperor decided that the best way to protect your family's survival is to betroth you to the most enigmatic but violent fighter in the known universe: Na Baron Feyd Rautha Harkonnen, dangerously seductive and very intrigued by you …
2.203 words
one shot ( for now)
_________
Your whole body was tense, filled with anticipation and nervousness. You noticed your fingers were unconsciously playing with your belt again, and with effort you made yourself refrain from doing so. It was not your first time in the Emperor's court, nor was it your first state reception. Still, it was the first time you had set foot on Kaitain since the new spice was discovered on your planet. Something that had been considered impossible for millennia and that would shake the existing power structures in the Landsraat and the entire known universe. From an insignificant house on a planet beyond Orion, blessed with centuries of stability because of it, your family has been catapulted into a position of a central political player. Your fate, albeit a small piece of a power play against the backdrop the these developments. "Our task is greater than ourselves. Our fears, smaller." The mantra that helped you hold a steady course. You relax your shoulders and notice how your back straightens.
At that moment, a festively dressed servant entered the room to announce Baron Vladimir Harkonnen and his nephews arrival. Even though you had been prepared for this encounter, the sight was a shock to her. At the first glance he is less imposing then Rabban, who moved into the room like a mountain of muscle and leather uniform. But there is a slow and steady menace in the way he carries himself. His demeanor, both elegant and commanding, reminded you of a marble statue brought to life; his skin almost seemed to illuminate the room, a contrast stark against the dim flicker of torches.
If he had eyebrows, he would certainly have raised one a little crookedly by now. But as it was, his ice-blue eyes suddenly started at you, and you sensed a hardness in his entire demeanor that you weren't used to at home and whose traces you might have felt in her upbringing with Bene Gesserit, but which had always been wrapped in a velvet glove. But power, violence and strength were clear to see in this man. The reason why the Emperor wants to make him your husband - the only one who can apparently guarantee the safety of your planet. He was not used to having to hide his true character. And that is exactly what you would make his downfall.
The formalities dragged on endlessly, time seems to slow down under his gaze. He cannot comprehend you, the strangeness of your features, the luxuriant curls of your hair falling over your shoulders in an elegant half updo, the waves of burgundy silk of your cloak adorning your shoulders, your dress of the same silk and lace - how can anyone appear so vulnerable and exposed? Especially one who holds the key to the most coveted of secrets - a new spice, as powerful as the one exported from Arrakis, but with fewer dangers, Fremen rebellions and more sustainable methods of harvesting. Only this thin fabric separates you from him, something his knife could shred in seconds. He notices that your eyes have left his and are now focused on his hand, gripping the blade at his waist so tightly that his knuckles turn white. He unclenches his hand and offers it to you, bowing slightly.
"My lady, would you allow me to escort you?"
You place your hand on his and he almost jerks back, surprised by its warmth.
"A mere twist of nature, I tend to forget how shocking it must be to someone not from my home. Our temperature has evolved to be slightly higher than the average, so that when the temperature drops at night, we never fall below a certain threshold".
He listens to you as you walk down the hall towards the banquet room, taking in your voice, the slight swish of your gown on the floor, the click of the delicate gold chains around your neck disappearing into the modest cut of your dress.
His thoughts oscillate between genuine intrigue with you and your planet, both of which he will soon call his, and a burning desire to test your seemingly obvious fragility, to see how many times he can take you before you beg for mercy, how many bites into your skin will make you whimper, how many slaps on your ass will bring you to your knees regretting whatever misdeed you may have done. You can see his hunger, thinly veiled by manners, and you are sure that he is not accusing you in front of everyone for being in the Emperor's house and not on Giedi Prime. He seems so lost in thought that you have to repeat your question.
"Are you all right, Na Baron? Is something wrong? My conversational skills must be truly dull to bore you so".
He seems to come back to the present, his eyes resting on yours again, the colour of pure blue, like a deep frozen mountain lake. You look down, and just as he finds his voice, the Emperor rises to end the banquet.
"Then I shall bid you good night. If you wish, join me in the botanical garden tomorrow before noon. Perhaps my conversation skills will have improved by then".
He nods and stands to pull out your chair, taking the opportunity to let his fingers slide down your spine through your dress as he moves the chair to the side. He will join you tomorrow alright.
_____
The sun flickers through the canopy of trees above you, leaving a mosaic of shadows on the small, flat cobblestones of the path. You have your hair in a braid that sits like a halo around your head, your arms bare in the sun, dressed in a light linen top and form-fitting trousers that allow for more movement as you tend to the plants. The small patch in front of you is half empty, with small plants dug up. Their purple roots are gnarled and wobbly, while the vines are the darkest shade of green. A tiny bead of sweat clings to your eyebrow, and you pull off your glove to remove it.
"Is this how my intended likes to spend her time?" His voice behind you, rough and deep. You are startled and drop the glove. He picks it up and holds it out to you, looking straight into your eyes again.
"Thank you. Sometimes I do," you give him an open smile and take the glove back from him, he holds it for a second longer than necessary, seemingly puzzled by your open expression once again. "These plants are from my home, the Emperor tries his best to cultivate them here, but we cannot figure out why they do not develop as they should," you look up at him, his gaze still unmoved from your face.
"Am I boring you again, Na Baron?"
"Not at all," his tongue moves over his lush lips, brushing his cupid's bow.
"Well then, these tiny plants are one of the main factors in the production of the new spice. Their sap is..." You take a small knife from the box beside you and just as you cut into one of the roots, your hand slips and a red streak of blood appears on your left hand. In an instant, a small trail of red drips down your palm and onto the light stones at your feet.
His eye darkens as he grabs your post, ignoring the plant in the flower bed, and brings the injured hand to his lips. A shower passes through you, his tongue brushing your skin, electrifying.
"You should be more careful, my lady."
His voice almost a growl, his soft and plush lips sucking lightly at your skin, leaving a red mark around them.
"Yes, I should, Feyd," you are not sure if calling him by his name was a familiarity you allowed yourself too soon, but his reaction proves you wrong. His arms are wrapped around your waist, his face inches from yours. You feel your breath mix, his scent sweet and musky around you.
"Say my name again" There is no politeness to hide his hunger now.
"Feyd..." An almost unbearable exhalation is all you can manage. And with that, he closes the gap between you and descends on your lips, devouring you. His kiss tastes slightly metallic as you taste your blood on his lips, his tongue touching your teeth, demanding entry. You give in, melting into his ministrations, your hands unable to stay still, reaching for his neck, nails digging into the porcelain skin, he almost Monas into the kiss, his hands clawing at your bottom, gripping the flesh in an iron grip. You make a small sound that seems to be all he has been waiting for. Leaving your swollen lips, his attack continues in your jaw and neck, leaving small marks. You feel his arrousal pressing against you and your right hand lets go of his throat and slides over the leather in a rhythmic motion. Before you can think how you can take so much, his size is obvious even fully clothed, he grabs the knife from before and cuts open your top, not bothering with the buttons, leaving your chest exposed to him. His mouth travels to your nipples, his tongue dancing around them before his mouth closes on them and his other hands pinch the other hard. You moan, the pain delicious and unexpected, making you arch even more towards him. He unties the rest of your clothes, leaving you bare to him. A drop of your wetness makes its way from your core along your inner thigh as you melt in his arms. His hand wanders deeper along your hipbones and thighs and as he catches the drop his predatory smile becomes a grin.
„My lady seems to be enjoying herself... Kneel down".
You obey, the hard floor hurting your knees almost immediately. He pulls his swollen cock out of his trousers and strokes the head along your lips. You open your mouth and begin to lick his shaft with broad strokes, sucking the tip in and letting it fall from your mouth with a wet plop. He watches your every move and pushes a lock of hair that has come loose from your braid out of your face.
"Yes, that's a good girl, keep going."
Spurred on by the praise, you redouble your efforts, disregarding the discomfort of kneeling on the pavement and look up at him to find him completely mesmerised. He cannot believe how willingly you give yourself to him, without reservation. He feels as if he has found something sacred, something so precious and wild that he cannot imagine ever getting enough of it. He steadies your neck and finds his own rhythm, fucking your throat hard, the gurgling sound coming from you like music to his ears, you are struggling for air but he is relentless, filling you with his cum until you swallow every last drop. Your eyes almost in tears, you try to catch your breath, but Feyd has other plans as he helps you to your feet and lays you down on the patch of fresh earth. He spreads your legs and caresses your core. The pain seems to dissolve into a sea of pleasure, leaving you disoriented and greedy, your hands pressing the back of his head into your cunt. He moans in approval, sending more delicious vibrations through your cleat and as his tongue fins you entrance, you lose yourself in the orgasm, chanting his name with more earnestness than any prayer that was ever to leave your lips.
He looks up at you and just when you think you are going to get a break from his ministrations, he pauses only to strip, his leather overalls falling to the floor and revealing his muscles. He grasps your hips and you spread your legs even wider, giving him an unobstructed view of you and your pulsating cunt.
"So ready to take me, my lady, so ready for my cock to fill you," he smiles, aligning himself with your entrance and thrusting in at once. His cock, thick and throbbing, disappears inside you as you continue to chant his name. He rams into you with abandon, his head touching your wall as his hands wander from your hips to your breasts, kneading them, whipping you into the frenzy of the second high, spasming even harder around his cock.
"I think you can come again for me, my Na Baroness," he whispers in your ear as he lowers himself over you, one hand loving your breasts to study himself on the floor, the fingers of the other circling your clit. You moan, overstimulated and hot, writhing under his touch.
"I know you can do it," he continues, not slowing down, and he is right as you cum again, this time sending him over the edge, his movements becoming ragged as his seed fills you. As your both breathing calms, you look into his eyes again and you know he is a goner, lost to the magic of your touch and how your desires dance together.
#feyd rautha#feyd rautha imagine#dune part ii#feyd x reader#feyd smut#feyd x you#dune movie#arranged marriage#shameless smut#feyd oneshot#feyd rautha harkonnen#house harkonnen#dune part 2#feyd rautha x reader#fem reader#reader insert#x reader#x female reader#praise k!nk
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Sorry
Leah Williamson x Reader
Summary: The aftermath of the World Cup
The celebrations were crazy.
The champagne, the shots, the drunken phone calls to your mother.
It all came to a close as you got back on a plane and flew home to London. You were riding the high all through the flight but you lost it all as soon as you stepped foot on English soil.
Your World Cup medal suddenly felt heavy in your bag as you slipped into the house. It was still quiet out, the moon still high in the sky.
Leah was a lump in the bed, still awake. You could tell even though it was stupid o'clock in the morning and she usually slept like a log.
You knew Leah like the back of your hand and you knew when she was feigning sleep.
You also knew not to push, flipping open your phone and sending a quick text to Codi assuring her that you made it home safely.
A similar one appeared from her a few minutes later and you got to work slipping into your pyjamas.
You hadn't said anything to Leah.
She didn't say anything to you.
You slipped into bed next to her. Usually, you would throw your arm over her waist and pull her closer but just like you knew not to talk, you knew not to touch as well.
Sleep came easier to you than it did to Leah. The late-night flight combined with Codi chattering in your ear the whole time had you exhausted and you fell into a slumber very quickly.
You didn't know what to expect when you padded downstairs the next day.
Leah's spot in the bed was empty and cold. You could hear the coffee machine whirring in the kitchen and stood to go meet your fate.
"Hi, amor," You said, lingering in the doorway.
"Hi." Leah didn't turn around to look at you, staring out the window into the garden.
Her hands trembled around her mug, raising it to her lips and sipping.
The tension was palpable. It was thick and heavy like wading through a bog.
It was silent for a beat and then-
The most awful noise ripped from Leah's mouth and you flinched. She turned to look at you, tears falling from her face as you looked at each other.
"Amor...I'm sor-"
"Don't apologise," Leah choked out," Just...don't apologise. You've nothing to apologise for. You won the World Cup, don't say sorry about that."
"Amor..." You reached for her, wary in case she rejected you but she didn't.
Her head rested on your shoulder as she sobbed and you gently rubbed her back, letting Leah curl up in your strong arms while she cried.
"Don't apologise," She said again," Don't you dare. It was the best moment of your life. Don't let me ruin it."
You apologised anyway. "I'm sorry it had to be against England."
Leah hadn't played in the tournament, not with her acl tear but she had been in the crowd for the final. She had watched as Spain outclassed England at every turn.
She watched the fluidity between you and your teammates, reminded just why Arsenal had headhunted you straight from Barcelona. You would have never realised that you had been playing away from your childhood club for years at this point.
It was annoying to watch. Leah was proud of her country, she loved being the captain but...
"You won the World Cup," She choked out," And I love you and I'm proud of you and happy but..."
"I know," You said," I know, Leah. I get it. It's okay, amor. Let it out. Let it all out."
You stood there with her for nearly fifteen minutes, rocking her back and forth in your kitchen as her coffee mug was left forgotten on the counter.
"I'm sorry," Leah said as she wiped away her tears, stepping back from you with a little awkward laugh," I had a plan last night. You were going to come home and I was going to reward you with awesome sex."
That surprised a laugh out of you.
"Somehow, I think that would have freaked me out more then you just ignoring me."
"Shut up," She said with an eye roll, recapturing her mug," We have great celebratory sex. We do it all the time!"
You laughed again. "I think you're lucky preseason doesn't start up again until next week. I've got a gold medal in my bag that I really want to see you in."
"Just the medal?"
You nodded. "Just the medal."
#woso x reader#leah williamson x reader#leah williamson#woso community#woso fanfics#woso imagine#woso
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vienna waits for you
Description: A messy divorce with his college sweetheart sends Harvey catapulting into a bed of madness. He meets her years later, and the worst part is: they still love each other.
Pairing: harvey specter/singer!reader
A/N: i am obsessed with suits as of the moment, and i will be posting a lot about harvey specter regardless of his small fanbase. i have no idea if representing an ex-spouse is legal, but i saw jessica do it for her ex-husband so...by law of suits?
Harvey Specter does not have a positive outlook on love. His mom cheated on his dad, and subsequently his views on love were hinged on that heartbreak. Everyone around him knew that there was a great wall in the middle of Harvey and personal connections. He struggled to make friends - or in Donna's words, he is alone, has always been alone.
"What are you talking about?" Louis raised an eyebrow, a foot inside of Harvey's office. His eyes methodically darting back and forth between the two men. "Harvey was talking about his college sweetheart. She added him on Facebook." Mike lied.
Louis chuckles nervously, aware of Harvey's past.
It hasn't been that long ago, Harvey was still married to you during his early associate days. "She added you on Facebook?" Louis repeated the last words, his eyebrows were merged together. I don't mean to impose, but if Harvey's getting back with his ex-wife... Louis thought, and Harvey's jaw clenches.
He casts Mike a glance.
"If she added you on Facebook, then why didn't she add me?" Louis bites his bottom lips, Y/N likes me. I thought we were friends, Louis takes a deep breath. "Maybe it was a fake account, Louis." Harvey glares at him, his blue eyes piercing daggers deep into the other man's soul. Why couldn't have Mike thought of something clever-er?
There were three women that he could name at the top of his head, Scottie, Zoe, and that one waitress girl. "Oh, because for a second there I thought that..." Louis smiles bitterly. "Get out." Harvey rolls his eyes, mumbling something about closing the door on his way out. Louis quickly fades from view.
"What was that about?" Mike's eyebrows merged together. "None of your business," the older man replies curtly. Harvey didn't embrace the past with all of his heart. There were a million things that he could have done differently. He could be living a different life right now, had he made the right choice, but he didn't.
He has never experienced real love, but he was close, once.
"I get it," Mike sighs, aware that it wasn't smart to ask his 'mentor' personal questions. "I need those files by tomorrow." Harvey huffs, dismissing the associate. Way to ruin the day, Mike, Harvey thinks.
But it wasn't really Mike's fault.
(HARVEY SPECTER. 1ST YEAR AT HARVARD)
When you fall in love, everything happens in slow motion. As I'm watching this girl get off her motorcycle, everything happens in slow motion. She removes her helmet, and her hair is free - suddenly swaying with the strength of the wind, and when her face is free of her flowing hair - I see her face.
She's the most beautiful woman I've ever seen.
"Harvey Specter, right? I'm sorry for being late but I was the one that they tasked to tour you around the place. Courtesy of Jessica." She smiles at me, her helmet sitting snugly on her hip. "You don't have to," I found myself mumbling and she shakes her head.
"I insist." She smiles at me. I think I can hear a love song play in the background. Harvard of my dreams, woman of my dreams. "Harvey Specter," I introduce myself. She mumbles her name, and shakes my hand willingly. "I'm from the school of Arts. I hope that you'll be able to attend my song event next Tuesday. I'm inviting you." She says promptly, her tone reminding me of Jessica.
School of arts? Pfft, she must come from real money.
"Invite me? But we've only just met. Shouldn't you invite me to dinner before coaxing me into your bed?" I raise an eyebrow. She laughs at my joke, I don't even know if that joke was funny in the first place - but I know that it made her laugh. "It's a song, Mr. Specter. I'm not asking for your soul." Her eyebrows relaxed, and we walk inside the building - the warmth of the heater entering my body.
"- plus, I made a bet with this girl in class that I'll be able to get more guests than her." She winked as we entered our first classroom. "Give me a good reason, and I'll bring all of my friends." I chuckled.
(CURRENT DAY)
"It is always a pleasure to see you," Jessica smiles.
"I wish that I was here under different circumstances." You take a deep breath. These past few weeks have been a blur. "A million artists have been accused of plagiarism, but songwriting is a grey area. Pearson Hardman will fix this problem. I promise." She promises.
Jessica has never let you down.
"We'll have to prove to them that your song was written before they published theirs, which is easy because you keep all our song lyrics in a clear-book." Jessica remembers, versed in all the times that you rambled about your songs in her office, but a sigh escapes your mouth. "Proving that to them is the trickiest part." You confess.
"I lost my book. I don't know if I left it with Harvey - if it's stacked in between his bookshelves, or god knows where it is." A bitter chuckle escapes your mouth as you sink deeper into the seats.
"I could've gone to any B list law-firm if this was an easy battle but I'm willing to spend money on Pearson Hardman because I can't afford to lose." You articulated with a forced smile. Being accused of plagiarism was a stain on your reputation. Pearson Hardman needs to protect your honor.
"Jessica," Harvey's voice breaks you away from your thoughts. Suddenly, the office became smaller, and the twenty-feet distance between the both of you wasn't enough to contain your anger.
"Harvey will handle your case, he is our best lawyer." Jessica compliments. "No," you resist without apprehension. "- what I need from you isn't trivial. I really can't afford to lose." You breath. If this was Jessica's way of entertaining herself, then she needs to find another person to play with. "We should all be professional here," Harvey breaks his silence.
He sits down on the couch parallel you.
He has always kept to himself, even resisted from showing you the vulnerable parts of him in fear that you'd leave. In the end, you weren't the one that left - he was the one who filed for divorce.
How do you talk to an ex-husband without yelling profanities at each other? When the last time you saw each other was in the middle of a court room, unable to look each other in the eye. It would be better to leave things unsaid, but given the circumstance - given the fact that he was staring at you right in the eye - it was impossible.
"I am being sued for plagiarism. I know that you don't care about the truth, so I'll make this simple: losing is not an option." you emphasized, wording it in a way that would leave no questions.
Jessica hands him the files.
"I don't plan on losing," Harvey mumbles while skimming through the files. "- you were smart to come here."
3:00 P.M
The sight of him in his three-piece suit, his gelled hair, and his fresh cologne scent sent you reeling back into the past. How long has it been since you've seen his shadow? Even longer since you've last spoken without your lawyers acting as a medium.
Stars shine and burn, and your star crashed into extinction.
You continued staring at him as he read through your files (all magnificently compiled thanks to your years of proofreading his case files which did not happen if anyone from the D.A asks.) "How long are you going to stare at me?" He asks in a cold tone, it has been an hour since the both of you left Jessica's office. Opting to meet in his office instead, lest you fall asleep in Jessica's comfy fibers.
"You really are miserable without me," you spoke out loud. "What the hell are you talking about?" His eyebrows merged together. "You still don't know how to tie your necktie properly," your lips burrow into your lower lips, watching a fraction of a flaw in his tie.
To any untrained eye, his necktie was polished and flawless - but you know that when he does his necktie, his thumb is a little tight and the entire fabric is tighter around the middle. The back part of his necktie moves slightly to the right, but he fixes that by tucking it in.
"I'm sorry but some of us don't have the time to study little things," his tone comes out colder than he anticipated. There was a time where Harvey was just this little thing in between your palms - if the you refused to move to the mountains, then he moves the mountains to you, that was until the fallout.
"It is because of the little things that we live," you replied in your usual artsy way, one that sends a corporate man like him careening. "- I know that you hate me." You began but he interrupts you with a stare. "I don't hate you," his voice is gentler this time.
"Regardless, I hope that you understand how much this case means to me." You look at him with your puppy-eyes, begging for justice. "I graduated from Harvard, top of my class in a course that people don't take seriously. I make art, not just soulless marketable music, but art that actually has meaning, and to be accused of plagiarism offends me. It really does." You explained your side.
And it doesn't take a genius to realize that he believes you.
"I listened to your song," Harvey replies.
"I didn't see you listening to it." You mumbled.
"You went to the bathroom and I listened in the interim," he lies. He still has your vinyl albums on his vinyl shelf, but no one knows that. "The songs are similar." He pointed out. "Songs sound similar all the time," you snap but only because you know that you've never copied a damn thing in your entire life.
"You told Jessica that you wrote this song during our... do you have any proof of that?" He inquires, following his usual procedure of investigating his client. "No, but I wrote that song after our fight. If that means something." You chuckled bitterly.
(THE BEGINNING OF THE END)
The white blanket covered your body, providing warmth against the coldness of your shared apartment with Harvey. "Good morning, beautiful." He presses a kiss to your shoulder. "Good morning," you replied with a lazy smile, still taken aback by the beauty of his stare.
When you are thrown back into reality, that sinking feeling returns and permeates in the bottom of your chest. "This isn't going to make me forget about that thing with Cameron Dennis," you sharply reminded him.
"This is why I didn't tell you in the first place." He frowns, a bad start to the day. "- you were against me when I was in the grey. I am in the black now and I don't know what you want me to do." He argues.
It wasn't as easy as you narrated it, there were nuances to the problem. Cameron Dennis wasn't going to let him go that easily, when Harvey had the evidence to implicate him in a crime. He'd want to settle a score, and a man like Cameron Dennis was unpredictable, regardless of his moral code. "Leave," your answer was simple.
"- there is still a place for you with Jessica. But if you think that covering up for Cameron, this one time makes you exempt from all the other crimes that he's about to do in the future. You're wrong. Don't wait until it comes to bite you in the ass," you pleaded.
Greater than him have failed against corruption. You didn't want to see him become another clog in the machine, if he was in the black a foot inside of the room - then what shade would he be a year being inside of the room? "If your eyes are open, there's no reason to close them." You continued to persuade.
"It's not that easy." He repeats himself, and for a man of his stature - it really isn't easy. All he had to defend himself was you and Jessica. "I know that it isn't, but instead of involving yourself it would be better to leave before the tides become stronger." You advised, but judging by the look in his eyes - he wasn't listening to you.
5:00 PM
"Their estate replied, they're willing to settle on 40%." Harvey informed you, aware that it was the best deal that he could get out of this scenario. You didn't have a single evidence in your hands, none but your words and the stories attached to it. He believes you, but it would never uphold in court. "I want to settle on 0%." You insisted.
It is bold, but not even half of what Harvey settles on a daily basis. "They wanted 100 and I got it down to 40, unless you come up with an alibi or concrete evidence. I firmly advice you to accept their offer." Harvey tries to convince you, his tone mirroring yours all those years ago. "For Christ's sake," you mumbled - it was a losing game.
You couldn't let anyone take credit over your song.
This song means something to you.
It means something to your life.
"I hate you Harvey," you suddenly let out.
After all these years you still hold that divorce against him. It wasn't your fault in the first place, he allowed himself to be consumed by that corruption in Cameron Dennis' office. He blamed you for every little problem that he encountered, he pushed you away, told you that he never cared about you - even though that wasn't the truth. Not even close to the truth, because he was afraid.
Afraid that you'd cheat on him. Afraid that you'd leave him, he left first. So he'd be the winner.
"What is this really about?" He tried to keep his distance. "You can't even win this damn case." You insulted him, your words still able to cut through his thick walls. "- you defend capitalists. You're a clog in the machine, and you can't even defend an innocent woman." You were aware that your anger was misplaced, but he was the one standing in front of you - the object of your ire.
"You still can't let it go," his voice was a distant whisper. "- this world isn't a walk in the park. I told you that during the divorce, and I still mean it." He says the word 'divorce' with no reluctance, whereas he was avoiding that word a few hours ago. "You changed. I can't even recognize you," you chuckled mockingly. "What happened to the man who had a moral code?" You ask.
"You've been gone for a long time." He made an observation. "And we don't know each other that well. You were always away, building your career. Leaving me." He voices out his anger for the first time in decades. His jaw clenches again, but his eyes - oh you could tell from his eyes that he was heartbroken.
"So the divorce was my fault?" You queried.
"We barely spoke to each other. You didn't return my calls, you pushed me out, you made me think that there was someone else." He points a finger at you, raising his voice by an octave. "I was scared that if I answered you, then we'd fight. So I ignored you because ignoring you was better than losing you!" You yell.
The last years of your marriage was hell. Every little thing that unnerved you of each other was brought out, used in arguments - and the very swords that you promised to defend each other with, was used to stab each other in the back.
"You gave me the divorce papers, I told you that we could fix our marriage and you ignored me too. I'm not the villain that you're making me out to be, Harvey." You take a deep breath, regaining your composure and walking out of his office.
(A DAY AFTER THE DIVORCE PAPERS WERE GIVEN)
I take a deep breath.
In and out, like she always told me to do.
How long has it been since we've last spoken to each other? The only time that I was able to hear the sound of her voice was when the judge spoke to her and she requested for half of my properties. I should hate her for doing that but I don't.
"Harvey, I'm sorry for that plea with the judge. I don't know how to get your attention without suing you. We both made mistakes, but that isn't a good enough reason to let go. Let's fix us. I love you, and please call me back." The voicemail ends and I take the phone off my ear. I love you, three words that I have never said to her before.
I can see her sitting on the corner spot of the cafe - the cafe where we had our first date because the steakhouse that I booked mysteriously got shot down, and she insisted on having coffee for dinner. I can see her wearing the red dress that she wore on her song recital - the first time that I was able to hear her perfect voice.
I want to enter the room, but I can't.
I reach for my phone, dialing her familiar number.
It rings a few times, and I see her fish for her phone inside the bag.
"Hello?" I hear her voice on the other line. "Harvey, are you coming?" She asks, but I'm already here - without the courage to walk through the doors. "Harvey," she says my voice in a firm tone.
I open my mouth to speak but no voice comes out. I'm scared, and what if she'll leave me in the future? I should leave before she falls out of love with me, before she realizes that I'm not worth the sweat. "- for christ's sake. If you're here to laugh at me." Her voice becomes frustrated, and I see her stand up.
She hangs up.
"I love you too," but she was unable to hear me.
10:00pm
Harvey takes a swig of his beer, making his way to an apartment that he hasn't been in for a long time. This used to be your shared apartment with him, and he got ownership of it in the settlement. He opens the door with the keys in his pocket (keys that he's always kept in his pockets just in case he needed to return).
The apartment didn't smell like you anymore, it smelled like dust. The pristine white couch was now a muddied version of grey, and all the portraits you had together were covered with a thick layer of dust. He takes a deep breath, sitting down on the floor beside the vinyl shelf.
He took all of his vinyls and placed them in his office, but yours were still there. The Yeah Yeah Yeahs, Don McLean and Coldplay, your favorite artists - and he hasn't listened to them in a while. He doesn't understand how your marriage with him took a sharp turn - he valued your love, held it close to his heart, but in the end it slept away from his hands, carried on and never looked back.
He opens the dusty vinyl box and plugs in the song.
The song that you were being sued for, and the song that he has only listened to once because he couldn't bear listening to your voice.
Slow down you crazy child, you're so ambitious for a juvenile. But if you're so smart, tell me why are you still so afraid? Where's the fire what's the hurry about? You better cool it off before you burn it out.
He opens one of the albums in the shelf. Elvis Presley's That's The Way It Is, which the both of you voted as the best Elvis album of all time, the soundtrack of your love story with him.
You're gonna kick off before you even get halfway through? When will you realize, Vienna waits for you.
The song continues playing in the background, and to his surprise a paper napkin was folded in the middle of the album, creating an indent that he hasn't noticed before. He reaches for the paper napkin, afraid that it would disintegrate with his touch. He unfolds it gently and to his surprise, the lyrics to the song that you were being sued for: Vienna, was written there.
To my husband, please remember that I'll be here waiting for you.
12:00 AM
He knocks on your apartment door, and you groggily open the door for him. "What the hell are you doing here?" Your eyebrows merged together, surprised by his sudden appearance. "I can win the case," he says with certainty - but already knew that. Harvey Specter is the best lawyer in NYC.
"You don't like losing. I get it." Your voice had hidden meaning.
Your eyes only softened once you realized that he was holding a laminated paper napkin in his right hand. "You found it," you take a deep breath, which probably also means that he was able to read the note that you wrote. "I went to our old apartment and it was-"
"In Elvis' album," you finished his sentence. "I didn't expect you to still have that apartment. I expected you to sell it the moment that it was given to you," it was your turn to make an observation.
"I'm sorry for hurting you." He made it very clear that he regretted the divorce, but should a relationship be founded on regret?
"It's in the past. We both have moved on." You partly lied.
"I was there in the cafe when you called me, and I wanted to talk to you but I was scared." He admitted, finally able to voice out his thoughts after all these years of keeping it in. "I was scared to tell you the truth because everyone who has loved me, has left me." He repeated, and suddenly a great weight was placed on your back.
"I think about you everyday," you confess.
Your hands in his necktie, pulling him closer towards your body. "What if we hurt each other worse?" It was your turn to voice your concern, eyes mirroring his - your fears were tangible. "Let's try again. I'd rather live knowing that we tried again, than live knowing that we could have but didn't." Harvey begs.
You answer him with a kiss to the lips.
A/N: will do a pt 2 fluff 🙏🏻 idk if people still watch suits but i love this show and i live breathe it.
#harvey specter x reader#harvey specter fanfics#harvey specter x you#suits fanfic#harvey specter#suits#harvey specter fanfic#harvey specter imagine#harvey specter smut#x reader
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do you have any headcanons with soft yandere hawks?
Obsessed? No, Baby, this is Love
FEATURING Keigo 'Hawks' Takami i x Reader
SUMMARY He's not crazy and he means well, that's all! OR yandere hawks headcannons
CONTENT WARNINGS Hawks being overprotective, stalker tendencies, obsessions, and stuff like that!
AUTHORS NOTE I love making headcannons! They're pretty stress free and it's nice to take a break once and a while from plotting and writing and instead just being able to yap. Thanks for the request anon! <3
Constantly checking in
Hawks texts you more than a grandma on Facebook. It starts with a simple “Hey, how’s your day going?” but quickly spirals into 57 messages asking if you’re eating, sleeping, and possibly getting your required dose of love for the day. “I know you're fine, but just wanted to check—are you still breathing? Have you drank enough water, or should I remind you again?” You almost feel like you’re his pet, except, you know, way cuter.
He’ll “protect” you (a.k.a. hover over you)
His wings? They’re not just for flying, no. They’re like a personal shield that always shows up at the worst possible moments. You’ll be minding your business, and suddenly, there’s Hawks, hovering two inches behind you like a warm, feathery cloud. “Just here to keep an eye on you,” he says. And you’re like, Can I breathe though?
Who doesn't love surpise gifts?! (that double as surveillance devices)
Hawks loves to surprise you with thoughtful little trinkets, but they always come with just a touch of paranoia. “I saw this keychain and thought it’d be cute for you!” Sure, it’s cute… until you notice the tiny GPS tracker hidden inside it. “It’s for your safety,” he says with a wink. Right, Hawks. We all know it’s just in case someone tries to get too close to you. How sweet… and creepy.
Oh! Funny running into you here! :D
You think you’ve got your life together, doing errands, living your best independent life, but oh wait—here’s Hawks, just happening to be at the same café as you. “What a coincidence! I was just nearby!” Uh-huh, right. And I’m just shocked you also happened to bring coffee for both of us. It’s fine, though—he’s just making sure you’re not plotting to run off into the sunset with someone who doesn’t know your coffee order by heart.
He hides his jealousy so well! (can you hear his eye twitching?)
You ever see someone try to hide a full-on mental breakdown with a forced smile? Yeah, that’s Hawks when anyone looks at you for more than a second. Someone says “hi” to you at the grocery store? Expect a dramatic, almost cinematic shift in his vibe. His wing stiffens, the smile freezes, and you can practically hear the internal scream. “Oh, hey, did you want to buy something from their cart? I’m sure they don’t mind…” Sure, Hawks. Totally not possessive.
He's so sweet!... why is it almost scary?
At first, you think it’s sweet when Hawks remembers that you prefer a certain type of tea. Then you realize he’s tracking everything. “Remember when you said you liked that red dress from last summer? I got you a matching scarf!” And you're just standing there like, “Thanks? Are you trying to get me to fall in love with you or just lock me down forever?” His answer? “Both. But mostly the first one.”
Overprotective in the most (un)subtle way!
If you ever think you're going out for a “normal” night, you’re so wrong. “You don’t have to go out tonight, do you? It’s really cold out, and I’d hate for you to catch a cold.” Translation: “I’d prefer if you just stayed here and let me watch over you like a hawk (pun intended).” You try to resist, but then he hits you with the puppy eyes, and suddenly, you’re canceling plans to stay in and binge-watch Netflix with him… because clearly, you’re too important to be out in the world without him.
He's obsessed in love with the little things!
Hawks is obsessed with every single part of you, even the things you don’t notice. He’ll bring up the exact way you tap your foot when you’re anxious or how you always hum that one song when you’re about to do something important. “I thought you’d like these earrings because you always wear that shade of blue.” He’s scarily good at remembering everything. And you’d be a little worried if you weren’t so flattered by the fact that this man can’t get enough of you.
Bottom line? Hawks is like the perfect mix of sweet and “don’t you dare leave me alone for more than five minutes” obsession. But hey, at least you don’t have to worry about losing your keys, right? Because he’s got a tracker on everything—including your heart.
TAGLIST
@surielstea
#boku no hero academia#my hero academia#dee's asks#my hero academy fanfiction#my hero acedamia#kohei horikoshi#hawks x you#keigo takami#takami keigo#hawks bnha#bnha hawks#mha hawks#hawks#hawks x reader#mha takami keigo#bnha keigo#keigo x reader#mha keigo takami#keigo takami x reader
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<- part one | part three -> | series masterlist
chapter summary: The week of the bet begins with a bang.
the song: Bodybag by chloe moriondo
also for your listening pleasure: Hungry Like the Wolf by Duran Duran / The Girl is Mine by Michael Jackson & Paul McCartney / I Can't Go For That by Daryl Hall & John Oates
4,024 words | please see masterlist for gen warnings / underage alcohol consumption & mentions / slut shaming from idiot/asshole teens | my blog is 18+
A house on Cornwallis Street - the past
The beat from the drums in the Duran Duran song playing throbbed, the speakers physically pulsing as you passed them. Your heels stuck to the kitchen tiles as you entered the room that had been your sanctuary for the past hour. Once the beer had been moved to the living room and the chip bowls thoroughly destroyed, the sticky vodka bottles and punch that looked like something died in it weren’t visited as frequently as they had been at the start of the night.
So it was there, forearms pressed to the edge of the sink as you lifted a foot and rolled your ankle, then the next, with a soft and maybe too sensual sigh of relief, that Steve Harrington finally caught you alone.
“New shoes?”
You spun, forgetting the teeny tiny sticks beneath your heels didn’t really care for quick movements or aiding in the process of balancing.
He caught your forearm, fingers curled around your wrist as you settled. Like he was reminded he wasn’t supposed to like you, he dropped it, fingers running through the darkening hair he was keeping longer now instead as you lied.
“No.”
Steve squinted at you, taking a sip out of red cup, mumbling into the plastic with a snort, “Sure.”
Your arms crossed, now acutely aware of the fact that the entire outfit you’d been in all night was much more revealing than anything you’d worn around him before. Eyes focused on the denim cut off a little too high on your thighs and the sliver of skin between the top of the mini skirt and your borrowed pink top as you accused, “What are you doing here?”
Steve took a step closer, white Adidas kicking a forgotten red solo cup as he did.
“Funny,” he clicked his tongue to the roof of his mouth, “Was just about to ask you the same thing.”
As you glanced up, you couldn’t help but notice the dark blue of his polo was starting to get tight around his shoulders and biceps.
Couldn’t help but look at his eyes that were unwavering in their gaze on you. Which all only made your skin hot, made you need to look away and pretend you were looking for something on the counter littered in trash.
“Where else would I be, Harrington?”
Steve was right behind you as he hummed, “Anywhere else. Literally, anywhere but a house party.”
“What’s that supposed to mean?” You spun with the biting accusation, the little black heels now your arch nemesis as they wobbled beneath unsteady ankles again. Steve caught your waist that time, bodies closer together as you fell back against the counter.
He didn’t let go, his finger resting just above the denim, right against your skin.
“It means,” he swallowed, exhaling a shaky breath as he leaned in and explained, voice taking on a tone that seemed like he was quoting something. Or someone. “That I thought you were better than stale beer and shitty conversation with idiots.”
A flash of an argument with your friend Robin in the hallway ghosted across your memory, making your lips part, but only a small noise escaped them.
The movement and sound had Steve’s eyes glancing down, his adams apple bobbing. It had him squeeze at your hip involuntarily, had you wondering if it was possible for skin to spontaneously catch on fire.
“I love beer,” you finally managed to sputter out while wondering if he always had those two freckles on his cheek and if he did, why could you suddenly not look away from them as they lifted with his smirk.
“Yeah?” He offered his cup out to you, “Have at it, honey.”
Maybe it was the challenge in his eyes. Or that word, honey, that made you do it - made you aware of how close you were to the boy you’d always hated and how he wasn’t the one you came with.
You took the cup and kept eye contact as the rim met your lips, kept it while the bitter liquid washed over your tongue. You kept it still, as you wondered if it was the color of his eyes or the alcohol that had your stomach warm and fizzing with something abnormal.
“For the record,” you whispered after your fingers swiped at your lips, “I do hate shitty conversation with idiots. I came in here for a drink for my boyfriend.”
Steve blinked, like he hadn’t heard anything you’d said since you took the cup from him and that wonderful pride swelled in your chest with the thought that you’d successfully gotten the ball back to your side of the court.
You cocked your head and blinked innocent eyes up at him, “Brenden Peterson? Junior? I think you’re on the basketball team with him…or well…” you winced, “You’re on the bench of the team he plays for…”
Steve’s hand dropped from your waist as boisterous calls came from the other room, shouting about spin the bottle. Tina’s voice carried over the music that dulled to something quieter, Michael Jackson and Paul McCartney singing about loving the same girl. Your name called in her shrill squeal, asking if you were playing.
“Absolutely!” You yelled, still too close to Steve, “I love spin the bottle!”
You were sure it was the beer on your tongue that made the words slip over it, then out of cherry glossed lips so easily.
Not the way Steve Harrington was looking at you. That had nothing to do with it.
Nothing at all.
Steve finally made a noise, scoffing as you shimmied out from his spot keeping you against the counter, wandering closer to the rowdy boys cheering at your agreeability to the suggested game.
His jaw pulsed as you sipped out of the solo cup and made eye contact with him over the rim. He hated that something deep in his biology or wherever it came from had him suddenly panicked he’d pop a boner when your tongue darted out to catch amber liquid and foam from a pouted bottom lip.
He hated that he followed you into that room.
That he sat across from you in that circle.
He hated what happened next.
You were looking around the room, eyebrows furrowed together as a girl named Carol patted the carpet next to her and told you to sit. Brendan wasn’t in the room and as you looked around the circle, you caught Steve looking right at you with a challenge in his eyes not unsimilar to the one you just had in the kitchen.
So you leaned forward and yelled, “Me first!”
The circle ooh’ed, Steve looked anywhere but your chest as you crawled to the center and your fingers spun the green bottle.
You were settled on your knees, blinking down at the slowing bottle and silently screaming for it to keep spinning, keep spinning, keep…
Carol yelled out an “Oh La La!” and boys snickered as the green bottle finally stopped right between Steve Harrington and Tommy H.
“I-I just spin again, right?” You went to do so, panicking as Tina laughed from somewhere on your right.
“Nope! Gotta kiss both boys!”
“But I-“
“Oh, come on!” Carol moaned, snickering, “It’s just a kiss! Or two!”
You hesitated, hating the way Tommy grinned at you and Steve continued to stare at the carpet.
“Wait,” someone in the circle laughed, “You’ve kissed a guy before, right?”
Another person whispered, “Dude, that’s Brendan’s latest conquest. The one who…in the back of his…”
Your vision got a little blurry, the room suddenly too warm.
“Come on, I don’t bite,” Tommy shrugged, lifting his eyebrows up and smirking. “Unless you want me to.”
Steve’s fingers clenched into fists on his knees, he finally looked up at you and whispered, “You don’t have to-“
His words were cut off as you grabbed Tommy’s collar and pulled him towards you. Lips colliding in a kiss that made the circle cheer, wet lips and tongue and you pulled away with a gasp. Grabbing at Steve who looked shocked but his hand landed on your waist as your noses bumped.
You took a deep breath, your eyelids started to flutter closed when you heard, “What do we have here?”
Brendan stood to the side of the circle, a tilted head of mussed blond hair. He laughed as he gestured to the circle, “Wow, you really will just do whatever guys ask you to, huh?”
Looking around the circle, everyone snickered into drinks or looked at you then Brendan, waiting for more of the show.
“I-“
“You what?” Brendan interrupted, eliciting more laughs and your eyes started to burn, cheeks too hot when Brendan nodded at Steve and scoffed,
“Enjoy my sloppy seconds.”
A tear rolled down your cheek and when Tommy started to laugh, “Oh no, she’s cry-“
Steve elbowed him and whispered your name.
You shoved at him and stood, ready to bolt, when you saw the girl standing just behind Brendan with the purple mark blossoming on her neck.
Your jaw clenched as you took a step, then another, Brendan too focused on laughing at you with his buddies to care until he was doused in beer.
The music stopped, the circle fell silent, and Brendan blinked through foam, swiping at his eyes as he growled, “What the fu-“
“Enjoy continuing to fail freshman level biology, getting kicked off the basketball team, and going absolutely fucking nowhere in your life, Brendan.”
You threw the crumpled red solo cup at his face as you tried to leave the room with some ounce of grace on the stupid heels you couldn’t wait to never see again.
The slam of the front door behind you rattled the framed photos inside as much as the sob in your lungs did to your breath. Your fingers pressed to your lips as you blinked back the hot tears that wanted to pour out of you.
“Hey,” a quiet voice from your left called, “You okay?”
A boy was leaning on his elbows in the grass, curly brown hair that was a little too long catching in the breeze, a lit cigarette dangling between his lips. He looked familiar, like you’d seen him in the back of the band room or somewhere in the first few months at Hawkins High.
He looked you over and shook his head with a grimace, “Yeah, no, that’s not an okay face.”
“I’m fi-fine,” you managed to hiccup out.
“Well, fine,” he groaned like a person much older than the boy he was as he stood, “I’m Eddie. Nice to meet you.”
A laugh left you, despite the tears still trailing down your cheeks. You swiped at them and told him your actual name.
Eddie nodded and twisted the toe of a black boot into the cigarette now on the ground. “Still nice to meet you, but far less cool and interesting of a name than ‘Fine’ if you ask me.”
“It was nice to meet you too, Eddie,” you waved a little, hugged your arms around yourself and started down the driveway, only stopping to kick off your black heels and leave them in the grass. As you began again, now barefoot, his voice carried on the early autumn breeze.
“Hey, Fine!”
He grinned when you turned, and he held up his hands in surrender as he spoke. “Tell me to fuck off, but whatever just happened inside is not worth your time or energy, but you know what is?”
You sighed, and waved your hand towards him, “I suppose you’re gonna tell me yourself?”
He beamed and held a hand to his chest covered in some sort of skull and snake design, “Well, that probably remains to be seen. I do have a whole presentation on the value of having a Munson for a friend, but, nah, I was gonna say cherry pie.”
That laugh left you again, and Eddie only smiled wider at the sound, a dimple poking out on his cheek.
You looked at him, then the house behind him, then down at the heels in the grass.
“Can we stop and get me new shoes?”
“Can we…?” Eddie looked at you incredulously, “Sweetheart, I wouldn’t think of bringing you to get cherry pie without sneakers on your feet.”
He waved to a van a few cars down the street, bowing, “Your chariot awaits, ma’lady.”
By the time Steve got outside, bruised and bloody knuckles hung limply at his sides as he watched a van round the corner of his street, then disappear.
A house on Cornwallis Street - the present
His fingers press the top of the alarm clock at precisely five fifty-nine am on Monday morning, the red glow of clock telling him he’s up too early yet again.
He doesn’t drive Robin to school anymore, he doesn’t have to be at work till nine thirty, but he’s kind of used to his routine now.
And it’s not like he was sleeping anyways.
His old Hawkins High swim team t-shirt slips over his head as he sighs, hands rubbing and slapping at his cheeks as he thinks about how he hasn’t really slept all weekend. He’s lacing his sneakers up as he thinks about how he definitely didn’t sleep on Friday.
Not after he let you inside, and you smiled at him like that. After he yelled about how this wasn’t a fair bet and how Eddie upped the stakes to three hundred dollars then, the ‘arch nemesis’ clause as he put it.
He holds his ankle in the driveway, pulling his leg up and stretching it, then the other, glaring at the red sign on the front lawn in the hazy morning sun beginning to rise. He starts down the sidewalk, but sees the house on the corner and decides that after an entire weekend of revisiting memory lane, he doesn’t need to physically go down the literal lane of his past mistakes and regrets.
His feet thump on the ground in time with the Duran Duran song playing in his walkman.
Family Video - the present
Daryl Hall and John Oates voices abruptly stop when you slam the stop button on your walkman due to the sight in front of you.
Your feet straddle the baby blue bike, docs pressed to the pavement as you glare at the maroon car idling in the parking lot.
He has his head leaned back against the head rest, eyes closed. His arms are crossed over the green vest while Tears for Fears plays out the open window quietly.
Pulling your headphones down around your neck, you slam your hand on the hood of his car and Steve jumps in his seat, blinking profusely and swiping at his eyes before he glares at you.
“What are you doing here?” You accuse, fingers gripping your handlebars.
Steve rolls his eyes then his window up. He yanks his keys from the ignition, the sudden loss of the vehicles noises making the cicadas and frogs in the pond across the street louder.
He gets out and squints at you as he slams the door.
“Cute helmet.”
You quickly snap it off, cheeks warming as you shove your bike lock into a wheel and glare at him from your new crouched position.
“Again,” you snap the lock closed, “Why are you here?”
Steve sighs, leaning against the storefront’s window. “We open at ten, do we not?”
“We,” you laughed, sticking your key into the front door with the shake of your head, “Don’t do anything. You work in the afternoon all week. With Robin. I’m alone in the mornings until we-“
“Find a replacement for Tracy. Yeah,” Steve bites the inside of his cheek, pointing his finger like he’s just remembered something, “Keith said something about that. But, well, I volunteered for extra shifts, to help out while we’re short staffed for summer.”
You pull the key from the lock and narrow your eyes. “You what?”
Steve smiles at you, freckles on his cheek lifting as he shows off perfect teeth. “What can I say, I’m just a nice guy.”
You actually yell out a, “Ha!” with your head thrown back as you open the front door, not caring to hold it open for him.
“You…you…” you stomp towards the back room as you search for the right words, “Slimy, sneaky…”
“Sexy?” Steve provides, following you.
“No.” You spin with the word, not expecting him to be so close behind you.
He stops just as abruptly as you, face mere centimeters from yours, both of you having the cover of the slow to buzz on overhead lights to steal breaths and find your composure once more.
Steve sighs, walking past you towards the wall where time cards are kept. “Listen, if it’s actually that terrible to work with me, I can call Keith again. But I really would appreciate the extra shifts.”
You hang your helmet on a hook and push your own card into the machine, skepticism evident in your voice as you ask, “You need the extra shifts?”
Steve faces your profile, and you feel his gaze lingering on your cheek as he whispers, “Well, yeah. I’m about to be out three hundred dollars in a week.”
Turning to face him, you finally take in his appearance. The sincere look in his eyes is almost overshadowed by the circles under them, the frown of his pink lips almost forgotten due to the stubble surrounding them that’s not normally there.
Your silence seems to mean something to him though, because the frown becomes a smirk, and his head tilts as he asks, “Or am I not?”
“Not what?”
His smirk becomes a full smile, “Not gonna be out three hundred bucks. See something you like, babe?”
And just like that, it’s gone.
Your eyes roll as your shoulder bumps his on the way to the coffee pot.
“In your dreams, Harrington.”
He watches you press start on the coffee, sitting on top of the break rooms table with crossed arms over a plain blue t-shirt.
“Bet you’d like that.”
You fiddle with the cream you’ve pulled out of the fridge, the clipboard of tasks Keith left for the week. “What’s that supposed to mean?” You ask, keeping your tone bored, willing the minutes of this day to go by faster.
Steve’s voice is quieter, and closer to you as he says, “If I dreamt about you.”
Spinning at his words, cream canister in one hand, coffee mug in the other almost colliding with his chest. You blink at him as he continues, “Bet you’d like it even more if I told you what we did in those dreams.”
Your back hits the counter, not realizing Steve took a step closer as he spoke and there was nowhere for you to avoid how good he smelled or how what he was saying was making you sure there was something wrong with your stomach. Nowhere to avoid the eyes that look at you unashamed, and you could swear dare to seem hopeful.
Until he’s grinning, like he knows exactly what he’s doing.
And doesn’t he?
Steve taps the counter behind you twice with two of his fingers and hums.
“On second thought, maybe you should take my afternoon shifts. Looks like I’m not the one who’s gonna be needing the extra cash after all.”
He leaves, whistling a song you can’t quite place, but it itches at your skin, demanding to be felt like the burn of his words left on your cheeks.
You shake your head, and fix your coffee. This is not happening. Despite Robin and Eddie vouching for the new and improved Harrington, you will never, ever, believe it.
You will never let him win.
Especially after the first morning shift with him.
When the store opens at ten, there are three cars in the lot already, families stocking up on weekly rentals. Kids are in and out, shouting about candy and horror movie marathons. Steve and you are both behind the counter for most of the shift dealing with returns and large purchases, arms bumping too many times to count. It’s when his hands land on your hips as you threaten to topple over with the stack of tapes you were desperate to get out on the shelves in the lull, that you both notice you’re finally alone again for the first time in four hours.
Steve’s breath hits your neck, making you even warmer with a murmured, “You’re welcome,” when you gasp out a thanks. He drops his hands quickly and squints up at the ceiling, then out the front doors.
The sky has turned darker, gray and gloomy, and you wouldn’t be surprised if a typical summer thunderstorm was rolling in.
Steve leans against the counter, the back of his hand swiping through his hair as the other fiddles with the TV remote. He turns off The Breakfast Club, switching to a cable station. You keep your back to him as he’s surely staring at the news anchor’s chest that most men in Hawkins want to suffocate in, until he mutters, “Knew it.”
“That Lucy Lebrock’s boobs were fake?” You mumble, stacking tapes.
Steve snorts out a laugh and then he gasps, standing up straighter, “Holy shit. Are they really?”
“Honestly, Harrington, look at them.” You spin and gesture to the TV and whisper, “Oh, fuck.”
“I know,” Steve nods, biting the inside of his lip as he glances out the store windows again.
Lucy points to a map showing a massive storm inching closer to Hawkins, red banner announcing a tornado watch for surrounding areas.
Steve and you continue to watch, leaning against the counter next to each other in silence as Lucy tells everyone about tornado safety.
“I cannot believe they’re not real. You’re right. I really am an idiot.” Steve’s whisper finally breaks the silence.
You snort, covering your mouth with your hand, hiding your laugh but your eyes sparkle when he looks at you.
And then a loud clap of thunder booms overhead, like the universe itself is warning you of what’s happening, of the danger just around the corner.
Then the power goes out.
It all happens quickly after that, and yet, each moment lingers, like it’s making sure you’re committing it all to memory.
There’s a moment where you grab Steve’s arm and he grabs your hip.
One where you both jump a part, shouting sorry too loud.
There’s another, that threatens to steal your breath when Steve holds his vest over your head as you squint through rain streaming down your face as you lock the front door, the ‘Sorry we’re closed’ sign swinging behind the glass erratically as you inhale cedar and mint.
Then one, that grabs something inside of your chest and squeezes, when you start towards your bike and Steve slips his fingers between yours and tugs, shouting over the rain, “Don’t be stupid!”
There’s several filled with the splashes of your feet in puddles as he tugs you towards the BMW’s passenger side, unlocking it and racing around the hood himself.
One that’s silent, save for rain pelting the metal roof, and both of your heavy breaths fogging up the glass.
Then the sirens start going off, Steve’s fingers shake as he starts the car, swiping water from his eyes with the other.
“My…my apartment. It’s on the other side of…”
Steve shakes his head, backing out carefully as the wipers work faster than what seems possible, and yet they do nothing to aid in his ability to see out the windshield.
“Honey, you’re crazy if you think I’m taking you anywhere other than my house that has a full basement and an emergency storm kit Robin made me make with her last summer.”
Honey.
The word lingers, swooshed away with the sound of the wipers and the Duran Duran song that scratches the itch that lingered all morning spilling out of the car’s speakers. It disappears with the spin of tires on the wet pavement as they take you to Cornwallis Street.
Tag List - thanks for your endless patience and excitement for this and sorry for the delay in posting today 💛
@ash5monster01 @madaboutjoe @foreverinwanderlust @the-fairy-anon @scarletwitchgf
@curlsincriminology @siriuslysmoking @redbarn1995 @starry--sarah @starksbabie
@taccobelle @angst-lasagna @blckburd @crownofdecit @torntaltos
@sanniegirl1214 @yourmommilf
#superbly subpar's writing#BICFTF#steve harrington#steve harrington x reader#steve harrington x you#steve harrington x y/n#steve harrington series#steve harrington fic#cw alchohol mention#cw alcohol
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of course it’s real - jude bellingham x reader.
quick sum: what happens when he suddenly shows up on your doorstep? could be a leap of reconciliation or something completely different?
wc: 3.5k | masterlist | jude’s masterlist
➡️ part one: is this real?
psa 🗣️: this is part two to the long-awaited is this real fic! this a +18 post, so minors dni as it contains fingering, and unprotected sex 🔞. just a small bit of smut since someone requested in the fic! hope you enjoy 🤍 once again, contains mature content for 18+!
“Hi… Uh- sure come in,” you stammered, your heart beating out your chest quickly. It came as a shock to you that he was standing there, after weeks and months of not seeing him. Why was he here? Did he come to ask for something back? Jude felt the same way, pulse rate quicker than before he knocked on your brown door, before seeing you dressed up fancy. He was followed by Duke, who quickly came into Jude’s embrace, kissing Jude’s cheek, and wagging his tail.
“You know you can’t be here right?” you ask, crossing your arms against your chest. “Who says that?” Jude retorts, standing back up and fiddling with his pants. “Well, you just finished with your club, now going into the International break. Shouldn’t you be at camp instead of here?” you question, walking to retrieve your bag and shoes.
“Going somewhere?” Jude said, a protective maybe jealous tone undermining the tone from before. He was curious, maybe small taken at back because of how stunning you looked. It reminded him when the two of you were together and went out on date nights. Holding hands, sharing kisses, hugs, and nights of passionate sex. The memory of him gifting you a necklace with his initial to you popping into his head.
All he could come up with now is either you going on a date or attending an important event. “Yeah, I was invited to an art show so I'm headed there with friends for the evening,” you offer a small smile, to which Jude cheered on the inside. So you couldn't be dating again, or have moved on right? “My friend Giovan is waiting Jude… I don’t want it to seem like I'm kicking you out but I have somewhere to be.”
Giovan? Who the fuck was that? Jude thought. “I wanted to talk to you about us.”
“What do you mean? We ended a while ago…” you reply, not failing to notice Jude wincing at your words. A small frown on his face, brows drawn in and him biting the inside of his cheek. “Please… I just want you to hear me out. We can go on from there… I really miss you ba- Y/n…”
You felt your heart tighten and beat faster. A pang of hurt and betrayal took over you, and all you wanted was to now stay in as old memories resurfaced of your healing stage. Refusing to go out, the routine you built, constantly blaming yourself for not being enough, you weren't trusting Jude’s words anymore.
“Uh-” you shook your head and laughed trying to hold back tears. If you would have heard this the day you broke up or even a couple of days after, you would have gladly accepted him back. Maybe you could've been in Spain with him, going on walks with Duke, taking care of his injuries, being the girlfriend he wanted. But this was reality, and as much as it hurt, you wanted to protect yourself from another heartbreak.
“I don’t know Jude. I don’t know what you want me to say,” you said nervously, shifting your weight from one foot to another. Tell me that you miss me too, tell me that you still love me the way I love you, tell me there's still a chance for us, tell me you’re still mine, was what Jude wanted to say, but once again he was left without words.
“I have to go-”
“What if I come with you? I promise I won't pull anything. But please, we can talk there, hang out, like old times,” he proposed the idea. “What, like pretending to be the couple we were? What if I don’t want to hear what you have to say? What if you are lying again?” you say finally, having built up the courage and patience to spit out how you felt. While it felt relieving, you didn’t want to hurt the man you still love.
“I think you're trying to avoid confrontation Y/n. I know you. Plus, you still wouldn’t be wearing my necklace if it didn't mean anything,” he walked over, his index finger connecting with the charm, watching how he had an effect on you. Your breathing rapidly increased, watching how your chest pumped in and out trying to control it. Fuck, was all you thought, he caught you.
You look up and see how his brown iris gaze into you, a dingle of hope plastered on them. His lashes reached his top eyelid, and then touched his cheek as he blinked. Unbeknownst to the two of you, but your bodies were closely together now, one move from the two of you, and you would be pressed up. You cleared your throat and backed away, playing with the charm as you spoke, “This is such a bad idea…”
“But why does it feel so right? So real,” Jude said, shrugging his shoulders. This could end badly, maybe you running out of the showcase in tears or cause a scene and embarrass yourself in front of your coworkers. But maybe it could be the opposite, who knows, only faith undermining the situation. “Please. I wouldn't be here if it didn't mean anything,” he begged again, to which you sighed and finally accepted.
“I have a suit in my luggage, give me a couple of minutes to change and fix my hair and we can head out okay?” Jude said, but you were afraid to speak, only muttering a quick ‘okay’. Jude was like a drug, an addictive one, and as much as you wanted to let go, it was becoming difficult. It didn't seem real. It couldn't be real, right? But when you saw him come out now dressed, you knew there was no way to deny your true feelings.
The Uber driver played slow and relaxed music, you leaned against the car window, your hand propped up to hold your head as you watched out. Jude being freakishly tall struggled with his legs, finally just spreading them apart and watching as you looked out. He wanted to reach over and pull you into him, kiss your head down to your neck, whisper words of encouragement, and hold you like he once did. But he couldn’t not knowing if you were willing to let him do so.
When the two of you walk into the exhibit, a photographer takes a couple of photos, asking you to pose and embrace each other. As awkward as it may have been, Jude didn't let the opportunity of his hand coming around your waist and pulling you into a protective matter go to waste. His touch ignited a fire in you, a familiar sense of butterflies invading your tummy as his thumb drew circles over the material.
You couldn't help but wrap your hand around his bicep, feeling the prominent muscles he built over the months as you walked inside the venue. He was huge compared to a while back. You smiled and guided him to your friends, to which you embraced and talked to. Giovan hugged you tight, too close for Jude’s liking, which made him clench his fist and jaw at the sight. But oh boy was he wrong.
“And who is this handsome lad? Don’t tell me this is your man or I'll be upset Y/n,” Giovan said in a flirtatious tone, fluttering his eyelashes and extending his hand, to which Jude shook. A tint of blush and redness spread across his cheeks, making you smirk and giggle. “Not my man, just an old friend who has come down to visit me,” you intervene, standing aside to where Jude silently begged with his eyes.
“Alright now Gio, settle down, don't scare him off now,” you joke, to which your friend just rolls his eyes and smiles. “Of course not! I'll see the two of you around, maybe you can buy me a drink,” he hinted to Jude who just nodded shyly. You look away laughing to which Jude embarrassed chuckles, “It's not funny.”
But the playful mood turned awkward again as you roamed the exhibit of paintings, photography and sculptures. You came across a painting of white swans who looked over at the sunset, cuddled into their embraces, far away and disclosed to where the exhibit was held. It was minimal lighting and no other people.
It reminded you of when Jude broke things off, leaving for Spain, and then again when he caught you moving out. You close your eyes and shake away the memory, but Jude sees. “Are you okay?”
“Why are you here Jude?” you ask again, you’re tired of the constant confused signals and feelings for him. For once you want him to be straight on how he feels about you, instead of continuing this cycle of unsureness.
“I’m here for you… to fix us…” Jude says you let out a laugh of disbelief. You find the strength to look him in the eyes as he talks. “There is no us anymore Jude, you broke that off.”
“That’s why I'm here. I want to fix us and earn you back. If it's not you then it's no one. I'm really hoping you can forgive me, for what I did and the pain I cost you. I never meant for all this to happen, I thought I knew what I wanted but I was so so wrong Y/n. You shaped me into who I am today, and I'll forever be thankful for that. You made me into the person I am and without you, I'm so lost,” Jude pleads, his eyes glossy as he reaches for your hands.
“I was stupid to let you go, to lose all the trust you built for me. I’ll admit it, I was only thinking of myself instead of you when I broke it off, but I was scared of losing you. It's true I didn't know what I wanted but I do now. You being so distant from me right now is breaking my heart because I feel like I lost you. Did I lose you, baby?” he continued, your eyes brimming with tears at his soft tone when asking his question.
What if it was too late? What if you couldn't love him or be enough like you expected? What if there was no point in trying again if it meant the same outcome? Were you seriously going to risk everything for a guy who proved in the past they didn't think of anyone but themselves?
Your silence was killing Jude. Maybe he did hurt you, and he could never recover from that if that was the case. This whole time being apart, from the day at the park to you moving your stuff out, to now, the distance was becoming a long and heavy weight on his shoulders. To not know how you felt, to not hear your voice, to hold you close afraid of letting go always popped into his head. Spending his nights unable to sleep, or even go out.
“You really hurt me… I never expected you to suddenly give up on us, especially when we were doing so good? We were happy, at least I was. I was not only watching you succeed, but I was watching my favourite person in the world, stay with me at my side, promising me that nothing would come between us. If you had those feelings why didn’t you ever say anything? Why couldn't you just talk to me, like I always said?” you finally break your silence, a tear dropping from your cheek.
“It's hurting me that you're here. It hurt me when the only person in the world I ever trusted suddenly wanted to let go. It hurt me back when I moved out, knowing it was probably the last time I would see you. It hurts to be reminded of you, and remember the good times we had because I knew they would never come back. But most of all, it hurts me to see you sad and upset,” you sob, turning away from his teary eyes not being able to take the pain.
You felt his arms hug you, his embrace warm and comforting, and as you found yourself leaning into it, you could hear his rapid heartbeat like yours. Feel the pain slowly disappear from your veins and finally gain control. The nights of constant terrors and crying, on a stream swimming away when he breathed into you. You felt at home. The butterflies and intimate contact now swarming your chest and tummy once again.
“If I knew how to take your pain away, I would do it. To see you hurting because of me, is hard. But I want you to know I’ve matured, that I'm willing to do anything it takes to have you back and call you mine. It's not because it feels like it's something I have to do, or live up to, it's because I truly am nothing without you,” he held your cheek in his larger palm, his other arm securely on your waist wrapped around.
“I'm not myself, my friends and family have noticed. If your presence isn't next to mine, it's like I'm running on my head overthinking, I'm just lost.”
“Jude-”
“I love you. I've never stopped, and I don't think I ever will…” and there he said, the three words he once confessed to you before, repeated again. The three words that mean so much more than his confession, the words you've been longing to hear but are so afraid of because it will forever mean more than a simple “I want you back’ or “I miss you.” You gasped, taking a gulp of nothing because this was real.
“Is this real?” you asked, pointing at the two of you, watching as Jude’s face softened even more. A small frown on his lips and brows relaxed, the wrinkle on his eyes as he blinked hard appearing. “Yes.”
“I'm saying is everything you're telling me now real? No bullshit. No more lies. No unsureness. Is this real, Jude?” A feeling of hope filled his chest, replacing the torture he felt before. “This is more than real. You’re the realest thing that I've ever experienced, and I want it to be like that, forever.”
“Forever?” you ask again, your brow raising as confirmation to which he let out a small laugh, “Yes. Forever. If we do this again, you're not leaving my side, and I'm not leaving yours. Forever.”
“Then what the hell are we waiting for? Kiss me Jude.”
He gave you one more look to confirm things but you quickly got on your tippy toes and smashed your lips against his. Jude pushed you up against the wall, hands roaming down to your hips where he gripped them tightly. His tongue brushed against your bottom lip tasting the familiar cherry taste he loved so deeply. Your hands moved all around his chest, finally gripping the back of his neck, drawing a small moan when he bit your lip.
He kissed you again, lips never separating from you as he picked you up and once again caged on the wall. Your legs come around his torso, your core throbbing and rubbing against his upper abs. “Jude we can’t… not here. They will hear us…” you whimper when he kisses the inner corners of your mouth, and then down to your jaw. “Then you’ll have to be quiet. You can do that, be a good girl for me and be quiet.”
Your chin slightly trembled as he continued to kiss all the way down to your collarbone, inhaling your scent. Marking you as his, and leaving a purple mark on the hot skin. All you could do was move your hips around and try to feel the friction to get rid of the sensitivity you felt, but it was hard when Jude kept pulling back. “Is that what you want? For me to touch you?” he groaned, voice huskier and deep as he pulled you into a messy kiss.
There was no way you could go back and let people see you like this. But you couldn't care, all you could care about was the way Jude set you down and dragged his fingertips from your calves to your inner thighs.His nails tickling and drawing shaped as he kissed and marked your boob once more.
His trail felt hot, he was teasing you, your legs squirmed around to find his touch. And when you finally grew enough of his games, you grabbed his wrist, and placed it exactly where you wanted him. “Here Jude. I want you to touch me here, please,” you whispered in his ear, biting the skin and pressing a small kiss. Jude ran his hand on top of your clothed core, noticing the wet material behind it.
“Once I make you cum, you're all mine. Do you understand?”
“I’ve always been yours,” and with that he dragged his fingers against your wet folds, rubbing a circle on your clit, making you let out a gasp. “That’s right baby. You've always been mine pretty girl,” he smiled against your lips, kissing your top lip. His fingers teased your entrance, groaning at how wet you were, causing you to clench your legs around his hand and look away. “Open your legs baby… Let me touch you just how you like.”
He kissed your cheek, and used his free hand to bring your face back to his gently. “Focus on me baby,” he pecked your jaw, “Focus on my touch,” Jude placed another kiss on your cheek, “Focus on my fingers,” he kissed your shoulder as his fingers finally drew inside of you, “Focus on my lips,” without hesitation you kissed him to hide the loud moan that would've left your mouth.
His fingers were completely coated with your arousal, easily sinking them deeper as he drew them in and out. Your body shuddered, back arching against the wall as his fingers drew and now your clit were all being touched. You felt starved, completely vulnerable at his sake.
“It feels s-s-so good, Jude,” you whined, your head thrown back as you kept a tight grip on his white blouse. “I know, but I can feel it, you’re almost there for me. So tight, always tight,” he moaned, his cock becoming harder than before. He heard your pants, small whines as you kept grinding on his hand, the cold tingle he felt down his spine as you shivered against him.
Jude picked up the pace, sighing with pleasure when you felt his bulge, and almost shamingly came. “S-s-shit baby.”
He nibbled on your neck to quiet down the noises the two of you were making, leaving wet kisses all over your tainted skin, feeling your lips quivering in pleasure as he finally made you reach your high. You cried out, and sucked in a sharp breath when he hit that certain spot, the one he always found, either with his fingers or cock.
“All mine.”
Jude quickly untucked his belt, and took his hard cock out the tightness off his boxers, grunting at the cold air in the room. “Can you still be quiet for me? One more, just one more for me…” he kissed you and quickly picked you up again, holding you strongly so you wouldn't fall, but he couldn't help himself but pin you hands above your head.
“If it becomes too much tell me,” Jude said, dragging the tip along your wet fold before finally sinking into you. Your back was completely pinned against the wall, sliding up and down as he began to thrust into you slowly but rough. He moved mindlessly, drawing out sounds from the two of you as he thrusted into you deeper. Your name fell out his lips, causing you to squeeze your legs around him, also your wet folds around his cock at the same time.
You felt like heaven, and Jude was sure he would be cumming quickly. The two of you were close, so close that in a few more thrust the two of you would be moaning in relief. He let go of your pinned wrists, his two hands now on your hips as he slowly drew in and out, harder and deeper. “God, you feel so good. Doing so good for me… God I love you,” he kissed you, your hand resting on the back of his head returning the kiss.
He continued to breathlessly move inside you, his forehead on your shoulder to reduce the sounds of his moans and groans. The art frames on the wall banging due the pace of his thrust, but he couldn't care. But when you continued to clench around him, Jude continuing the pace he was doing, your bodies trembled in pleasure, having Jude prep his hand in the wall so the two of you wouldnt fall. You could feel it, the way you pulsed around his cock, the ropes of cum he continued to spurt into you.
“I love you,” he kissed his initial and then lips, now that were slightly swollen after making out for a while. You brushed the hairs on his temple that were messy back into place, smiling like an idiot as he remained still inside you.
“I love you too Jude.”
➡️tags: @xjval 🤍
#jude bellingham#jude bellingham x reader#jude bellingham imagine#jude bellingham smut#jude bellingham imagines#jude bellingham one shot#jude bellingham blurb#jude bellingham fic#judebellingham#jude bellingham angst#football smut#football one shot#football fanfic#footballer#football x reader#football x y/n
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