#was thinking how they probably will have a hard time living up to my expectations
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yaniluvs · 2 days ago
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lingering touches and stolen kisses 日 ── ot8 [hyung line] skz ; how is pda with your boyfriend?
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click to be directed to the maknae-line version !!
𓍯 hyung-line idol!skz ʚଓ fem!reader :( 𝒾 )0.7k ── ༯ HEADCANONS, tooth rotting fluff, kisses, hugs, established relationship, req. by anon . ⸝⸝𓂃 LiBRARY. /ᐠ.ꞈ.ᐟ\ྀིྀི
yani's note ˖˙ ᰋ and she makes a comeback !! i'm sorry for the sudden infamous inactive era AGAIN, the past two weeks were well.. very busy and i wasn't in the right headspace at all, but i'm better now! i was also binge reading the powerless trilogy so.. maybe expect some fics about it too? thank y'all for 430 followers <3 and thanks to anon for the request, hope you like it! comments, requests, asks, likes and reblogs are always appreciated ! comment/ask if you want to be added to my mastertag ! happy reading <3
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chris ୨୧ he is definitely the type who does not give two shits. he will kiss you whenever he wishes to; at the recording studio, when 3racha and maybe even rest of his members are recording for the coming album; in breaks; during practice when you come visit him, or when you’re at his shared dorm with jeongin. this man will not hesitate once to pull you onto his lap, and pressing light, feather kisses to your lips, cheeks, nose, forehead, with soft pats on your head or middle. however it’s hard to miss how adorable he looks when crimson rises up his cheeks, ears and neck, grin widening as deep chuckles leave his mouth- followed by a glare, because seungmin probably calls you two grandparents or just him, an old man. he will get shy and flustered when his members tease him — but that won’t stop him from fulfilling his wishes, after some giggling !! he needs to have his arm around you, or fingers lacing yours or his on your thigh, at all times. a simple act that helps him ground, knowing you’re there with him. and of course, he will keep a limit to the pda, not wanting to cringe out or distract his members — or get himself carried away with you.
minho ୨୧ this man is definitely a ruthless tease. you're around him and the members, he's leaning in close, your noses touching. the next thing you know, he flicks your nose with that stupid grin on his face, sprinting away to continue practicing or whatever it was that he was doing. but the teasing ends soon, as he just can't help but be beside you all the time. have his hand on your lower back, hips (living up to the butthunter title), or even holding your hands if you're lucky. he will fold but pretend to act nonchalant when you give him a peck on the cheek- or lips.
changbin ୨୧ okay hmo. he loves loves LOVES back hugs. it doesn’t matter if he’s on the giving or receiving end. he just loves them. also forehead kisses and cuddling even if it’s brief !!!!!!!!!!!!!! he is down bad for physical affection, definitely. having you on his lap, or his arms around your waist, and caressing your skin. pecks on the lips for sure. he won’t mind the others but he will get shy but a little when the members tease him or hyunjin feigns hurt of his wife leaving him; only for you to fluster your boyfriend more after another kiss. a big baby, always wanting to be close to you. (dying rn)
hyunjin ୨୧ he is such a romantic guy. when it comes to pda, i think he's definitely very touchy. in a good way; he might be back-hugging you, resting his chin on your head or shoulder, or leaving a ghost of a kiss at the back of your neck, under your hairline. probably also likes if your fingers are intertwined too, with him kissing your knuckles. he will not leave your side, at all !!!!!!!!! you're like his personal lucky charm. maybe during a break from practice, he'll be showing you the new choreo and maybe even teaching it to you so you to try it.. but i bet the two of you will get carried away, and will either be making out very intimately or start ballroom-dancing while giggling like elementary kids. he really loves you and will show it every minute !!
hyunjin ୨୧ he is such a romantic guy. when it comes to pda, i think he's definitely very touchy. in a good way; he might be back-hugging you, resting his chin on your head or shoulder, or leaving a ghost of a kiss at the back of your neck, under your hairline. probably also likes if your fingers are intertwined too, with him kissing your knuckles. he will not leave your side, at all !!!!!!!!! you're like his personal lucky charm. maybe during a break from practice, he'll be showing you the new choreo and maybe even teaching it to you so you to try it.. but i bet the two of you will get carried away, and will either be making out very intimately or start ballroom-dancing while giggling like elementary kids. he really loves you and will show it every minute !!
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mastertag ୨୧ @cosmicalily
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babybearnation · 2 days ago
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privacy sign on the door
⎇f1 drivers x gn!reader ; your relationship is about to be leaked (reactions) ⎇contains: alex albon, arthur leclerc, charles leclerc, dino beganovic, george russell, zhou guanyu, kimi antonelli, lance stroll, lando norris, liam lawson, logan sargeant, max verstappen, mick schumacher, ollie bearman, oscar piastri, paul aron, pierre gasly, yuki tsunoda ⎇author's note: fics for friends :D if you enjoyed this long ass fic, maybe considering supporting me over on my kofi. ⎇content warnings: suggestive (alex, liam, oscar), mentions of hate (charles, liam, pierre), arguments (kimi, yuki), mentions of logan's shitty time in f1 (logan) ⎇word count: 2.2k
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alex albon:
he's angry in a way he rarely ever is. why can't people just leave you and him alone for once in their lives? when you share the many, many tweets gossiping about the pair of you, he's just so angry. he doesn't care about the publicity - it's part of the job - but you're just trying to live your life and it's not fair that people keep invading your privacy.
when you suggest exposing your relationship, gaining the upper hand on the media and giving a big fuck you to everyone trying to forcibly invade your privacy, alex is hesitant. are you sure you wanna do that? when you say yes and that you're positive in your decision, he finally agrees and you two post a cute lil cuddling pic which is received (mostly) fondly by the many.
y'all fuck straight after tho :D
arthur leclerc:
he wasn't expecting there to be so much media attention when it came to him and his relationship. sure, he's charles' brother and ferrari's development driver, but did people really care that much about him and his love life? well, clearly so, if all the rumours flying about are anything to go by.
when you ask if he wants to go public, he finds himself torn. on the one hand, he'd get to spend all his time with you without having to be sneaky. on the other hand, it'd be a lot of media attention for you. he ultimately leaves the decision in your hands, so when you say you want to, arthur posts a really cute photo of you two together before putting his phone on DND and spending all night with you.
the media storm he wakes up to the next day is surprisingly kind.
charles leclerc:
he's tired. so fucking tired. the media is so obsessed with who he's dating and who's he seeing and this and that and the status of his love life and honestly, he probably saw the gossip stuff before you did, prompting him to bring it up when you ask him what's wrong. you can't help but chuckle fondly at him and his exasperation.
your offer to go public has him stalling, eyes wide and cheeks flushing. it's adorable but you worry you've pushed him too far so you start stammering apologies that he silences with a soft kiss. he asks if you're sure that you want to go public - all too aware of the kind of hate you may receive - but when you affirm that you do, he's immediately pulling you into a kiss and posting a pic of it to his story.
everyone teases him for such a bold hard launch lol.
dino beganovic:
dino's a massive softie so he's been basically soft launching you this entire time. when the rumours start to swirl about the mysterious person in his life being you, the two of you laugh about it, making jokes about how long it had taken for people to realise the truth.
eventually, things get more serious as you shyly, sleepily ask him if he wants to go fully public. he hums and thinks it over before saying he wouldn't mind, but it's ultimately your choice. when you say yes, you want to go public, he picks the very best photo of you (just you) and shares it to his social media, a teasing comment or two referencing the rumours in his captions.
social media goes a little bit wild about it, tbh.
george russell:
media king. knows how to subtly deflect all the questions about you and him and your (potential) relationship together in a way that makes all his astute fans frustrated but unable to really get the concrete answers that they want because he just has such a way with words.
when you tease him about his responses, showing his fans thoughts on the matter, he smirks and suggests maybe going public and you laugh and agree and before long, there's a whole post on his instagram about you that makes literally everyone fawn over him because how is he so sweet!?
f1 couple goals, tbh.
zhou guanyu:
he's pretty private so when the rumours start to swirl about your relationship, he's blaming himself. he never wanted to thrust you into the spotlight without your consent, and now he feels like he's done exactly that. you, meanwhile, had already accepted this as a potential outcome of dating him.
so when you share that you're comfortable letting the world know - that you love him too much to care what anyone on social media has to say - he falls for you all over again, agreeing to post a simple, soft, faceless photo of you two together, tagging your account on the post and making everyone go crazy.
he doesn't regret it at all.
kimi antonelli:
as much as he tries to pretend he's super confident and not at all bothered by the rumours surrounding you two, he's actually very upset and annoyed by all the media attention his love life is getting. he can handle all the attention about his f1 career but his love life? nope. that's a step too far.
when you suggest maybe going public to shut most of the rumours down and let everyone have what they want, he gets angry. why would you ever sacrifice your privacy for him? which of course, makes you angry and you two end up having a very stupid argument that eventually ends in you and him agreeing to go public.
literally no one is shocked at the truth lol.
lance stroll:
he's one more awfully worded article away from paying every damn motorsports news page to shut the fuck up about the pair of you. why did they even care so much about who he was dating? he gets so upset about it that it nearly scares you, not used to such riotous fury from him.
the only thing you can think of is going public, taking the decision from their hands before they can expose you two. lance thinks it over in amidst a billion kisses before deciding its your call. hours later, you two are watching movies together and ignoring the many responses you are getting to your relationship announcement.
lance continues to stay off of social media, though.
lando norris:
lando is used to this. not a single day has gone by throughout his entire f1 career where someone hasn't questioned him and his love life and who he's dating and who his exes are. it's infuriating, sure, but in that way where its bone deep. it's just a part of him now.
you, however, are refusing to let him stew in silent anger about this and you tell him you want to go public. end the speculation and the theorising. go public and be fucking happier for it. it takes a while to convince him but eventually he agrees and instantly, he realises you were right. he feels lighter and happier now that you two are public.
and now, he can get a good luck kiss from you before every race without worrying about being caught!
liam lawson:
there's so much media attention on him right now that he knew his relationship status would become a topic of interest soon enough. so, when it does, he's almost relaxed about it. unless you're expressing great distress and concern, he's really not bothered about the rumours.
but when you express that you're not distressed and are instead much more interested in giving the fans what they want - hopefully turning some of the negative watchers away from him as well - he's gleeful. pictures and instagram stories are being posted almost instantly and sure enough, it's enough of a distraction for the haters.
you get thanked for that later on..
logan sargeant:
he just wants to delete his existence from the universe. pretend he never existed. seriously. he's so tired of the media constantly barging into his life and now they're trynna get you involved too? like, come on... he's just a dude trynna survive in the world of motorsports. you are his literal saving grace. he doesn't want that taken from him as well.
when you offer to take it public, beat out the paparazzi and the gossip blogs and finally give him control over what he does for once, he says yes, posting a picture that dalton had taken of the two of you giggling and laughing together, practically collapsed against each other.
literally everyone is just glad to see him so happy.
max verstappen:
this man is a 4x wdc. he's used to the media. he's used to the prying questions and poking and prodding paparazzi. he's used to it. is he really fucking upset that you've been dragged into this? of course. but you've comforted him multiple times that you knew what you were getting into, and you'd embraced it ages ago.
when he asks if you wanna go public - as blunt as only max can be - he's not at all shocked that you say yes. you two love each other, you want a future forever together, why wouldn't you say yes? so he shares you with the world and he doesn't look back in regret.
just your typical iconic max behaviour, tbh.
mick schumacher:
mick cannot escape the media and it sucks. of course, there's a legacy attached to his surname, but he's his own person and you don't share his surname, so why are you being dragged by the media? when you tell him that people are spreading rumours about you two being together, he gets a bit shy.
"we could tell people?" mick shyly suggests and you agree. why wouldn't you? you're serious about him, he's serious about you and it doesn't make sense to hide it. so he posts a really cute photo of you two together and the internet kinda goes crazy about it.
suddenly, he finds media is not that difficult to handle!
ollie bearman:
why him? poor baby bear just wants to curl up in a ball and sleep forever when he discovers that people are starting to suspect you and him are together. like please, just leave the sleepy bear alone :(. you can't help but tease him for how cute he is throughout his entire mini breakdown though.
but really, you wouldn't mind going public. that makes him perk up, eyes wide and sparkly. "you wouldn't?" "of course not." well that settles that. ollie's posting about you within the very same hour, his favourite photo of you and him together being the main image, with some of his self-taken photos of you being visible in the same post.
the caption? "my fave." nothing more, nothing less.
oscar piastri:
he's trying to remain calm, and outwardly, it seems like nothing is wrong. but internally, a storm is brewing. you can tell something's wrong and when you ask him, he angrily vents about people invading his, and more importantly, your privacy. he's so passionate and defensive, you can't help but find it charming.
you calm him down before suggesting going public. "we control the narrative, yeah?" he sees the wisdom in what you're saying and lets you pick out the pictures for him to post. he posts them with a simple red heart emoji for a caption (your account is tagged, of course). the entire f1 fandom seemingly explodes, but you two don't care.
after all, oscar still has some pent up emotions to deal with ;)
paul aron:
the rumours that he could be in a relationship with someone seemed to have lit a fire under everyone's asses and now everyone was scouring the internet for hints and clues as to who paul was dating. it seemed like everyone had forgotten about his alpine news. great.
you, ever the comforting presence in his life, soon shakily confessed that maybe... maybe you two should go public about it. end all the theorising and speculation and let it be a source of excitement for a week or so before diverting people back to the news of paul in f1. he agrees and before long, there's an announcement made.
paul kisses you in thanks because he's positive no words can reflect his gratitude.
pierre gasly:
he's honestly not sure how to feel. like... he's pretty used to the media attention, therefore it doesn't really bother him when people start talking about him again. but you're involved this time and he doesn't want you to get hurt or attacked because of your relationship with him.
when he finds you reading through speculative tweets one day, he decides to broach the subject. what he isn't expecting is for you to shove your phone into his face, a drafted instagram post exposing your relationship lit up on the screen. "whaddya think?" he laughs and posts it for you.
he's just a chill dude who's in love tbh.
yuki tsunoda:
another private one, yuki is very determined to ignore the rumours until they go away and leave the pair of you alone. can't he just kiss his partner in peace and quiet? why did the media always have to be involved? you end up having to feed him food and give him kisses to calm him down.
when you try and suggest going public, he reacts negatively, starting an argument between the two of you. it reaches almost catastrophic levels before he realises that, actually, going public isn't that bad of an idea. you two end up agreeing on that before a new, smaller, less serious argument forms on what picture you should post.
it takes a while, but eventually you two go public and yuki falls asleep happily in your arms.
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corseque · 7 months ago
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It’s crazy to think more than several people know what happens to Solas at this very moment
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icewindandboringhorror · 3 months ago
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I occasionally wish to reach out to old friends/acquaintances I haven't spoken to since high school/some other even earlier time in my life, but I have SOOO little social energy even for required tasks (like making dr phone calls or etc), I never have any leftover for extra ones, and it would be very odd to message someone I haven't spoken to in like 5 years out of the blue but then take 4 entire months to respond back lol.. My natural curiosity with nostalgia/collecting details of the past/etc. (literally if I were born a little earlier I would definitely do scrapbooking or something lol) is very strong, but, alas, not strong enough to beat out the Social Issues Demons apparently
#facebook always does that 'here's a post from this day 8 years ago' thing. and I see old comments interacting#with people and it's so like.. OOOOO~~ where are they now?? what's going on? how much have they changed as people?#how much are they the same? this is fascinating. i should contact them!!' but then it's like... take that to it's logical conclusion though#you would contact them and then IF they even responded it would take you 80 years to respond and then they would#think there was something wrong or that you were trying to be insulting or something. To contact anyone I need to include an 85 page#disclaimer of all of my social issues & mental illness things. 'If i take 3 weeks to reply I promise it has nothing to do with u' etc lol#THIS is why more people need to be into phone calls/voice calls/some form of audio real time communication/etc.#I think one of the main things that's hard about messaging through text for me is it's so unscheduled and open ended#(plus it takes forever if you're talking about anything in detail and gets very long very quickly)#because like you can send a message and then just get a reply whenever. and then you're expected to reply back whenever#so it's like you never know when the response will come or when a new obligation to reply can come up? so it's like this sudden thing with#no outline?? if that makes sense. whereas a phone call is very like 'hello let's schedule a call from 10am - 2pm on thursday'. And you know#EXACTLY when the interaction will start and EXACTLY when it will end and you can plan around it in your schedule easily.#I have the reverse thing of a lot of people (how people don't pick up phone calls/hate calls/only text)#I would literally talk on the phone with a stranger. I would have a discord voice chat with someone I barely know.#if someone I hardly even remember from elementary school asked to have a voice call with me out of nowhere I would do it.#but if a stranger MESSAGED me?? or someone I barely know sent me a TEXT or something?? I will never reply probably#It's just too vague and weird. and you can't read voice tone over text. and the interaction could last forever with no clear end#point and etc. etc. But a call is like. set. established. clear boundaries. you can read the flow of conversation better. rapport. etc. etc#I get that I guess people feel more anonymous or distanced over text?? but you can have fake phone numbers on the computer. or do like disc#rd calls. or zoom without a camera or etc. etc. Also the distance that's present in text is BAD distance because it just means that tone is#not conveyed properly and you will never truly get a sense of the person's conversational vibe or mannerisms or how well you really click.#ANYWAY ghgjh...... I'm so so so interested in concepts of like.. How did that one kid I used to talk to in elementary school#but then they moved away in 5th grade - how did they end up? what are they doing now?? etc. etc. Like despite the severe social anhedonia#and general lack of connection with others I'm just really fascinated in like.. idk. the human development of it all and like#the concept of how we're actually a million different people through the course of our lives ever evolving in different iterations and etc.#PLUS again. i love nostalgia. sometimes old peple you know might remember a shared memory or can tell you about something you forgot#or etc. like it's SUCH A COOL THING in CONCEPT but I am too socially inept generally speaking lol. which people I still talk to today are#familiar with my 'phone call once every few months' communication style. but strangers would just be like... wtf. And I don't blame them#Sure I literally cannot change the physical health + brain issues i have - but also I know enough to not put others through that lol
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autisticlee · 6 months ago
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sometimes people who struggle like to make jokes or find positives about their condition that causes them to struggle so they can escape the constant negative and struggle. sometimes autistic people will say things like "the 'tism" or use the "autism creature" or say their autism helped them have a *positive trait* to feel better about their struggles. because living your life only focusing on the struggles and negatives is depressing and makes it hard to want to live, even if those struggle take up 100% of your life and you can't actually escape them. sometimes any little seemingly positive thing can help a lot.
but there's so many other autistic people that hate when we do that and call it "reducing autism to a cute trendy thing" and say it takes away from *their* struggles and is bad and shouldn't be used. maybe *you* want to only focus on your struggles, but some people can't live in constant negative and need some positive or to find ways to make their condition more positive so they can feel better about living with their struggles. life is hard. I take anything I can get.
I cant get jobs. I can't make and keep friends. I can't get help and support for doing "normal" things so sometimes I go weeks without being able to shower and without eating more than a bowl of cereal a day. most times can't even do things I like. struggle to communicate. have meltdowns. i'll never be able to live independently. I struggle a lot. but instead of sitting here always depressed and having no motivation to live, i'd rather try to joke about "my 'tism is acting up again" when i'm struggling (just an example. don't think I ever actually used the 'tism thing but i saw others use it) or say "i'm just being a creature" when I need to stay in my dark room because everything is too much and I personally find it cute to be a little creature meant in a positive way. i'm not actually downplaying mine or anyone else's struggles. I still acknowledge them and that silly jokes dont make them go away. i'm not trying to be trendy. i'm not doing any of the things people say we do by making silly little jokes. i'm using the silly little jokes to convince myself life can be a little more than pointless, painful garbage all the time.
(continue in tags)
#dont know why continuing in tags but here is more#sometimes we need to ask “why” and not just get mad about how we feel personally. because other people feel differently#yes im guilty of only thinking my feelings and situation and how it relates too and forgetting other peoples. i also need to learn#and everyone's feelings should be valid. just because something might “hurt” you it might be important for someone else#everyones feelings are valid. but we cant protect everyones feeling. so idk the solution#but stopping someone from having a small positive among a sea of nevgative seems a little mean to me#youre not being empathetic to their side. and i can turn it around and be not empathetic to your side and say stop being upset#and get over it and let people have fun. but i wont. i hear you. but at the same time maybe hear us too.#not everyone wants to live only negatively. youre allowed to but dont expect others to.#and yes i GET IT these things can make the allistics and neurotypicals be even worse towards us. but what do we do?#throw out any positivity we can find and grovel in our struggles because the allistics wont take us seriously?#DO THEY TAKE US SERIOUSLY WITHOUT THOSE SILLY TRENDY THINGS? NO! THEY NEVER HAVE#like i said i dont know the solution and everything still be used against us by those people anyway so might as well have fun?#if we focus on struggles they baby us and dont let us do things and block us from living life#if we focus on positive they dismiss our struggles and try to make us do what we cant and dont help us#we cant win! so its not “the 'tism” or whatever other things people made up that cause them to act this way#they already act that way and wont stop unless we figure out how to teach them! but i dont know how! im just a useless little creature#this is probably controversial and someone will get because i dont agree with their perspective despite respecting it#someome will comment to lecture me even though i get it. i do. but two things can exist at the same time!! idk what to tell you!#autistic#autism#actually autistic#lee rambles#words are hard so dont know if i worded it well or not. probably not#also why take away fun things because another group used it for bad? make them stop the bad not stop the good!#i also might be missing more context. i think is about tiktok using these for bad. tiktok is just bad in general and i refuse to use it#why tiktok dictate and ruin our lives now in general? tiktok is really bad 😂 but that another conversation#no one yell at me and say i dismiss struggles of struggling autistics. maybe you dismiss me needing negative thing to have positive?#not in mood for negative response. will probably cry fhhddhsjdjdjkd#today is real struggle day but if i be little creature i feel better
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bibleofficial · 2 months ago
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where is my fat husband
#stream#i’m lonely !!!! i want a man !!!!!!#me: where’s my man#me at the same time: not leaving the house nor dating apps & also is having a mental breakdown everyday while self medicating#also i’m 90% sure my meds are starting to fail again ALSKALKSLAKSLAKLSAKLSMAKSKK#ANYWAY#i didn’t even go to gay bars when i was allowed to drink like 😭😭😭#it’s all a bunch of straight people#there’s no point#like i constantly here old queens going ‘young gays don’t do xyz’ or ‘don’t know how to xyz’ like ok girl its because that shit died like#idk probably before the pandemic truly it was dying but the pandemic was the nail in the coffin like girl …….. i turned 21 a month into#lockdowns like#ok so i did stuff illegally & went to other shit but it still was straight bars 90% of the time there’s like 6 gay bars in houston total 😭😭😭#like idk what they expect like if … those venues aren’t there & are increasingly AGAINST doing the goofy tings …. how would the YOUNG KNOW#like at this point idk i truly think that it’s kinda on the elders at this point ALSKALSKLAKSAKSLAN like yea they’re boomers at the end of#the day so like i’m not saying that they didn’t have it hard they did they did ok but. get over it ? ALSKALSKALKSLAKSLA like alright … but#i’m saying this as someone who knows the history & bullshit like ok yea everyone needs to understand what it’s like to have your community#die before ur eyes but at the same time. there’s no community now ? ALSKALSKALKSLAKSLAKSLLA like girl …#girl …….#yall HAD a community but now all that shit is gone & none of us young ppl have any funds to make that 😭😭😭#like girl i have 12$ in my bank account i dream of being able to rent a flat at some point like a ONE BEDROOM u know W A LIVING ROOM & yall#own rentals so like this is UP TO YALL …..#like ur the problem ? 😭😭😭😭😭#@gays for trump & loghouse republicans i’m looking at YALL#a lot of these mfs are liberal too - pro invasion of iraq democrat back the blue bootlickin NIMBA faggots 😭😭😭💔#anyway that’s just me bitching#i’ve been so fucking IRRITABLE today
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medicinemane · 8 months ago
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#I get tired of people trying to explain what lens I should view the world through; what way I could think that would make everything better#forgive me but I don't care; I do what I do and I do what I can and you don't see the work I do under the hood#I don't want advice on self validation or whatever; I want... I want someone to hold a mirror up so I can actually see myself#by which I mean I want input on how I'm doing; if it's good enough; if it's worth anything; if anything I make is good#everyone things I'm nice; everyone has always thought I'm nice#but given nice leaves me profoundly isolated I don't think I care#not to mention in my opinion what nice in this instance means is that I'm capable of listening#it's mostly that I have manners rather than some quality about me#I'm well behaved and polite and can listen; and that's perceived as nice or even sweet#and it's not like I'm offended by people seeing me that way; but maybe you can get why... I can't do anything with that information#but if I'm doing enough... if I provide any value to the world... I might have heard that less times in my life than years I've lived#that's where I'm totally blind#people don't tend to offer any input; and also people don't tend to let me know what they're thinking#and I in fact am not a mind reader; I can often accurately infer things; but no of that means a thing till it's confirmed#and... well... hopefully no one reads the stupid shit I say and especially not the tags so this is safe and hidden#but truthfully people just like to hear that stuff they're doing is wanted and matters#and I do not#I don't know... gotta go do more cleaning cause I need to#and I have no idea if... I've got a reason for fighting so hard to clean; but I get very little input so... I expect... well...#and thankfully I don't think they read my tags so I can say this#but I really expect they won't take me up on my offer to come out here and get away from their parents; so there will be no pay off#not that I blame them in the slightest... it's just the only possible pay off for this cleaning would be helping someone I like out#and a scrap of company#but then again... in many ways anyone coming out to live with me is the worst thing they could probably do#sorry... I have a rather bleak outlook on many things surrounding myself purely cause of what I infer from the past#there is never pay off; only more shit I need to get done#I will never be loved; I will never be wanted; I will always just kinda be an afterthought that's occasionally worth venting to#no one will ever be particularly interested in anything I'm interested while I'll chase their interests or at least try to#certainly let them talk about them when they want#...though I take that over my normal total isolation... better to at least be permitted to follow in someone's shadow than have nothing
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phagodyke · 6 months ago
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was gonna say smth else but this turned into a vent sorry everyone just ignore. typical weekend post on this blog u know how it is here we go👍
#wild ik so many ppl getting married meanwhile im over here struggling to convince myself my friends even care abt me or want me around#pathetic to admit but i cant even fantasise abt someone loving me bc im too insecure n emotionally unstable#my mind just shoots the idea down like whoa. unrealistic. ur incapable of expressing or receiving affection in any way that matters#no matter how badly u want to... and even if someone did well u wouldnt believe them most of the time#gotta get out of the fucking labyrinth first i couldnt inflict this shit on anyone i cared abt#but it makes me so desperately sad sometimes i dont know how im ever going to get out of this ive been trying for years and years#and im a little better at it snd i dont feel like this all of the time i know it just comes around and itll pass again#but im tired of being in so much emotional pain so frequently. and shouldering it so alone. theres such a disconnect between myself and#others and i dont know how to bridge that i don't know how to stop feeling so isolated and unwanted !!!!!! im trying so hard#it doesnt even bother me w relative strangers in my life like i dont get insecure at all around them i like meeting new ppl#bc theres like. no expectations i guess. like ik they dont care abt me personally and idk them well enough to do that either#and its fun but it doesnt satisfy needs that i have like i need to feel close + connected to ppl i need to care abt them + feel cared for#but as soon as i do start to care abt ppl it gets all tangled and i end up getting rly badly hurt over and over. thru no fault but my own#bc im constantly alienating myself and bc i struggle so much w shit like physical affection which is frustratingly rly critical for me!!!!#it wouldnt fucking matter if i didnt like or want affection ik some ppl are fine without i wish it worked like that for me#but nope instead i have to be constantly messed up over my complete fucking inability to express myself in any form#and ik it makes everyone around me so uncomfortable so it just becomes self reinforcing and eventually they drift and leave me behind#and i just do that over and over and over and every time ill tell myself ill do better ill try harder and itll get easier and someone will#and it happens again and right now im at the stage where the abandonment fear is starting to kick in which is awful n paralysing#and usually a precursor to actually being abandoned ehich is always my own fault bc i start behaving so erratically out of fear or defense#its self fulfilling and im trying. im trying so hard not to let it overwhelm me again and not to start acting out and freaking ppl out#and im coping with it okay i think but just hurts me a lot its all internal my rejection sensitivity is gradually ticking up and up#and argh!!!!!!!!! and some days im okay and some days its like this and i dont know what todo when its like this im so tired and in pain#its not even that bad today tbf. once im done typing this to get it out ill be able to do smth else and distract mysrlf for a bit#and then calling friends later too so exposure therapy innit. but itll be fun and i love them but i will probably also feel very bad after#or even possibly during but thats okay ill still manage fine im not going to let it interfere i dont want it controlling my fucking life#i am going to have a nice time and be okay despite it all. even if i do have to fucking battle this every day forever#and even if it stops me living my life to the extent i want and feeling as ok as i want i just have to come to terms with and be ok w it#and im not going to be!!! a fucking asshole abt it!!! i dont want to hurt anyone else thats the most important thing no matter how i feel#thr rest is all secondary and ik i cant help a few little bumps here and there but trying hardest to keep it separate its not negotiable
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gibbearish · 8 months ago
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am finally back home and can say without a doubt that i am just fundamentally not built for long distance travel however the train was much nicer than planes
#that being said. pressurized cabins drive me insane a little bit#and also it gives you pretty intense sea legs for a While#like. the ones from the first trip hadnt gone away by the return one. so. might be stuck with that for a few days#we shall see#also ajr live fucks severely#the albums were already incredible but that was a goddamn religious experience#like. idk the way i think abt it is theyre more djs than a regular band esp w their performance showing the making of way less sad#like their music is very electronic‚ theyre making mixes of their own sound effects more than singing in one go#so like. the vocals were a teeensy bit rough at times#notably times it has taken me Literally Hundreds Of Hours Practice to be able to consistently sing along with#and times ive found its literally physically impossible to like. no matter what#idc how big your lungs are‚ there is no human on earth who can do that final run of karma in one breath#much less to An Entire Stadium After An Hour Of Jumping And Dancing And Singing Loud As Fuck#so like i dont blame them for that‚ you dont go to live shows expecting it to be 100% perfect anyways jwbdjsbfksb#the trumpet however. well she was certainly playing sometimes. and was very enthusiastic about her flares.#however. in most of their songs they use midi trumpets to my ear at least#meaning she was likely an addition specifically for live performances and in my personal band kid opinion#prooobably was not in any of the like. higher tier bands? idk just. a lot of the mistakes she was making were hitting as stuff that got#taught out of us the instant we joined any band beyond regular concert#so i would guess she was probably just like. a friend who happened to play trumpet in high school or maybe even just middle school#and they knew that the trumpet parts in their pieces were big and distinct enough that like they /had/ to get a live player#and just kinda. didnt anticipate the audition -> performance gap#like. her tone was really fried the whole time like she was playing as hard as possible#which. she was mic'd. have the sound guy turn her up.#the way they did it made it sound like she was using a mute but not. like she only got the bad parts of a mute from it yknow#her tempo and timing were. bad. theres no nice way to put that one it just Was Bad‚ like the trumpet runs in ajr songs arent. complicated#like. quite literally if you handed me the sheet music right now i would have it down perfect in a week at absolute most#and better than that player on sightread. like. we did so many sightreading drills.#like ill share my band kid creds if anyone cares but i need to emphasize this isnt me being braggy like. they genuinely just arent hard#fuck im out of tags. w/e i think only like one of yall also listens to them anyways so i can leave it there
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itsalwaysdark · 27 days ago
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having a midlife crisis atm i think i might start reading [redacted] this is rly scary for me keep me in your thoughts
#i dont know yet. i might not#its been tempting me lately ............ which is weird bc ive never much been interested in the genre like at all its just been sticking i#my head like fungus lately. We will see i suppose#im blaming like 8 of my oomfies for this#rly not that big a deal if i do ig its not like a bad thing im just confused as to why ive recently become interested in it. it was like i#saw one post and its not like the first post ive even seen abt it i see them always but i saw one and then i went in the tags for ages and#i just have been thinking abt it non-stop....#i havent like spoiled myself for anything idt ive been like passively spoiled for years bc its hard to avoid. i cant elaborate anymore.....#IDK im just confused bc like i said ive never much cared for [genre] aside from like ... [well known example of movie in genre]...... and i#have like known abt it my whole life obviously im just very confused. this post isnt vague enough its probably quite obvious#yep thats right im reading. um. fahrenheit 451. joke#that was assigned reading once i think its the first assigned reading ever where i didnt read it but that was bc it was like. it was so#weird how that teacher did the assignments bc they didnt Hand out the books they just like . expected ppl to read them on their free time ?#like none of us received the books sometimes on google classrooms theyd post A chapter of the graphic novel version#and the assignments were all rly unclear and like. Idk maybe i was stupid but i remember talking abt it with my friends back then and nobod#knew what was going on At all#and it wasnt like. they didnt post every chapter on google classroom itd be like. an excerpt from chapter 13 and then chapter 5 and then on#page from 24 and then wed go in and the questions were abt chapter 8 like. it was rly confusing#all those chapters or we r made up idr. ots all quite fuzzy#but yeah. so despite being assigned it kn class and i think passing i genuinely know absolutely nothing abt f451 aside from i used to get i#mixed up w 1984 alllll the time and i still do a bit. but 1984 is the one with bigbrother and f451 is um. bookburning ... i assume#sry i sound rly stupid . im not trying to diminish them or anything i just dk#also when i say midlife crisis yes i know typically 19 is not considered the middle of your life and it prolly isnt for me lol. but im#saying midlife 1 as a joke 2 it could be like Amid life which could be like any point during my life it could be if i turned 70 and had a#crisis itd still be mid life#and rly if you consider it as like. life is everything between birth and death then its all in the middle of tour life bc the middle is jus#thing in between those 2 things ok#sry ive always found it mildly annoying and also quarter life crisis sounds stupid and my ass is not living to#76 are you kiddingggg. 50s at the latest most likely#<- not planning anything or like not wanting to grow old i just have exclusive info others dont have (cant talk abt it LOL) abt that stuff
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ame-to-ame · 4 months ago
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Rereading ayaka is in love with Hiroko senpai!!! Last time I read it I don't think it was finished/I didn't finish it but ack. Now I also want to be in love 😭😭😭
#i want to say i want to be someone like ayaka but in reality im probably more like hiroko#i used to be someone like ayaka. i was really tunnel visioned and i didn't consider much aside from the person i was interested in#but it's been years now and there's a lot more to consider and it's. hard and im even more scared now.#i think there's someone who im currently talking with who's trying to figure out if im into women or not and if im available or not#but it's that sort of thing where there's just. a lot in my shoulders and a lot to consider. i want a relationship eventually but.#there's just so much to consider right now. in the past i thought that as long as i could make my partner happy a rx is just btwn 2 of us#but when i did actually get into a serious long term relationship i realized that most people. do expect getting to have in laws.#people for the most part want to be loved proudly and not have to hide it. and i do too. but at the same time. i just. there's so much on me#i almost came out to my dad the other day while trying to console him. but maybe that news would just be the last straw for him. idk.#i just can't really afford to have my life be shaken up much more right now when i just rebuilt some stability.#especially when my parents are having a midlife crisis and both of them are leaning on me. my health worsening also stressed them out too.#i really thought I'd be braver and have less to worry about the older i got and the more independent i became but. ig not.#in my teens i told myself once i reached adulthood I'd be free to be myself and pursue happiness. in my 20s i tell myself after med school.#maybe once I'm finally out of med school and etc I'll have the opportunity to live my life. or maybe by then there will be another reason.#it's a real concern. i mean. sure I've never wanted kids I've always been ace and I've always liked women but. the societal pressure.#to other queer people the gaydar goes off easily but to the cishet audience i've mostly. been able to go unnoticed.#and when you're younger not having a bf or ppl you're interested in and being focused on your studies is a thing your parents are proud of#but as i get older. it's just been harder. i don't know how much longer i have before i have to conform or have the cat out of the bag.#i don't even get it sometimes. i really don't. the expectation of family and marriage is wanting happiness for your child right? but somehow#idk. idk. i really don't know. sometimes maintaining an image. might be more important than your child's feelings.#and i really can't be certain that between ego and saving face compared to me that. I'll come out on top. i really don't know.#idk. idk. i know there are ppl interested in dating me. but idk. i really need some time to process things through.#sometimes i ask myself how i would feel abt it and i really can't figure out how i feel at all.#it's ok to date someone u don't love ig. i mean. I've done it before. you can make yourself like someone after a while. but idk if i.#idk i just. i think im just really scared. and I'll need at least another month or so before anything is back on the table.#it's honestly just me running away from having to deal with sorting out thoughts and feelings 👍👍👍 which i eventually will have to face ig#but if i do fall in love ik i have it in me to sort those things out quickly i think. if im not too scared to let myself fall.#ig i just have to get more used to ppl being interested in me again ack 😭 it's easy to ignore it when dating someone but. now.#and it was fine in the summer bc i wasn't really around too many ppl my age. but. ugh. unfortunately. i do have. a face and a personality.#delete later
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moments-divins · 4 months ago
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☠️ creaky-freak Follow
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i get d/newlyturned can be useful but why are there vamps asking the stupidest questions like how to bite….. even humans know that u just open your mouth and close it on something… not that difficult.
⚰️ draculabitme Follow
I’m so tired of this new generation of vampires. Back when i was turned, if you didn’t know how to hunt, you starved. These fucking babybats with their bloodbags and willing victims are defanging the name of vampires.
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🧛🏻 garlicker Follow
why are these vamps asking deaddit anyway, shouldn’t they be learning these things from their sire???
🦇 batty-betty Follow
hey, biting correctly can be tricky to master! and some vampires don’t have a relationship with their sire where they feel comfortable asking for advice. when i was turned, my sire was my former master and it took awhile to feel like i could talk to her freely. plus, most fledglings are abandoned by their sires these days. i think it’s great that these babybats have a place to figure these things out.
🧛🏻‍♂️ snacula Follow
op left out the full screamshot anyway
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he’s having trouble sucking enough blood from the wound, which is something most fledglings struggle with tbh.
tip to all the babybats: if you feel you’re not getting enough blood you probably aren’t sucking hard enough. you gotta really work at it. it takes time to build up the muscles to drain someone within minutes. and if you really want to puncture an artery go right ahead, just prepare for things to get messy haha (and don’t expect your victim to live through it)
and here is a site made specifically for newly turned vampires, it’s got all you need to know as a fledgling
🪦 f34st-of-bl00d Follow
reblogging for that last bit, i struggled with sucking when i was a fledgling and i had no sire to tell me why.
another tip: bite the chest when starting out. you can move on to the neck once you’ve gotten a hang of that. and i wouldn’t recommend the wrist or thigh as a convenient bite
🧛‍♂️ fresh-blood Follow
saving this post for later
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wonderthor · 6 months ago
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your neighbor sukuna who lives in one of the apartments upstairs may be a rough and dangerous man, but he’s funny and nice to you, so you become friends anyway. you even develop a little crush on him, and when he calls you little pet names like sweetheart and doll, you start to think he might like you too. one night you decide to go out for drinks, and as he drinks more he lets out more about his past and you learn he is a little more dangerous than you thought. he talks about how he broke into people’s houses at night all the time to steal their things and when he finally did get caught and locked up, he had probably broke into over 200 people’s houses by then.
“that’s crazy, but you wouldn’t get that lucky with me though”
he sets his beer down, raising his eyebrow at you in question.
“what do you mean?”
“i mean that im a very light sleeper, always have been. and there’s no way you couldn’t break into my apartment without me knowing it.”
he picks his beer back up and takes a swig before looking back at you with a smirk.
“you sure about that?”
you confidentially smirk back at him.
“oh absolutely. i get woken up if the wind blows a little too hard against the window. i even woke up that one time i had a mouse in my apartment and i could hear it scurrying across the floor. i would definitely hear you open my door and walk around.”
sukuna taps his fingers against the bar counter with his head in his hands and his eyes still on you, thinking.
“how about we make a bet.”
“a bet? on what?”
“if i can get into your locked apartment and into your bedroom without waking you up, i win. if i do, you win.”
“and what do i get when i win?”
sukuna chuckles at that, almost like a villain’s laugh.
“i wouldn’t worry too much about that.”
you roll your eyes at him.
“oh please, you sound way to confident in your impossible chance at winning.”
he laughs at you again.
“i am. there’s a reason i was able to break in so many people’s houses while they were still in there without getting caught. it’s kind of my specialty.”
you take another sip of your drink and lean back.
“your specialty, huh? and you still haven’t mentioned what we get if we win.”
“what do you want?”
his tone caught you off guard for a second, getting deeper and more serious without you expecting it.
“u-um, i don’t know. you can pick.”
he smiles at you again, a devious smile this time as he leans in closer to you.
“if i win, i get to do whatever i want to you. if you win, you get to do whatever you want to me.”
time stops for a minute and you don’t realize that you’re just staring at him until after several seconds.
“what do you m-mean by that?”
he leans back to hold his beer and his playful demeanor is back.
“well according to you, you won’t have to worry about that, right?”
a couple of days went by and you were still on edge. you mentally slept with your eyes open and even kept your bedroom door cracked, just in case you really couldn’t hear him come in. even though you knew it was just a bet and a silly little game, you couldn’t stop your heart from pounding against your chest. maybe because you still didn’t really know what he said meant. and there was also the eerie feeling that you were essentially waiting for him to break into your apartment, like a real robber. like the robber he used to be. and even though you knew he wasn’t dangerous to you and wouldn’t hurt you, you were still admittedly a little scared. you truly didn’t know what to expect.
it had been a couple of weeks now and you were sure sukuna was fucking with you. whenever you saw him in passing, he was his normal playful and flirty self, and mentioning nothing of the bet. you were starting to think he was kidding, just making that up to scare you and mess with you. or you also thought he could have just forgotten, since he was drinking a little and couldn’t have forgotten all about it.
but little did you know that you were playing right into his hands. he was waiting on you to lose your edge, to slowly get comfortable enough again to slip into deep and dream-filled sleeps. that’s why you didn’t expect it, why you didn’t expect to lose.
when you woke up one night, you felt your heart fall out of your body and your eyes almost jump from their sockets. there he was, in your apartment, in your bedroom, on your bed, leaning over you on his hands and knees. when he saw that you were awake and too stunned to speak, he smirked and leaned in closer to you until his face was just inches from yours.
“guess i win, sweetheart.”
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celestiamour · 5 months ago
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‧₊˚✧ ❛[ it's a gift (you keep those) ]❜
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ft. logan howlett x f! reader — xmen, marvel
╰₊✧ giving him a plushie that reminded you of him┊1k words
setting: deadpool & wolverine (2024) worst! logan contains: fluff, crushes, probably ooc but he’s so cute & wade is hard to write for, written for dp&w logan so idk if he got gifts in xmen, i forgot about laura, they are in touch and have a wonderful father-daughter relationship, i’m so sorry, edited
➤ author's note: i have so many thoughts but too incompetent to write
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logan’s never sure who will appear when he opens the door as wade’s quite the extrovert, either vanessa or one of his many other friends whom he’s now become somewhat acquainted with, but he certainly wasn’t expecting to meet the familiar eyes of the cute neighbor who lived a few doors down. he nervously scratched the back of his head, suddenly becoming aware of his shabby appearance, “uh, are you looking for wade?”
“no, i was actually looking for you!” god, your smile is so bright, it’s blinding. he normally hates perfume of any sort as it’s so overpowering to his heightened senses, but the one that you wore smelled so lovely like always. is that a new shade of lip gloss you’re wearing? it really suits you. (why on earth is he noticing all of these details out of the blue? he needs to snap out of whatever spell you put on him after being introduced when he first showed up and only interacting in passing since then).
“looking for me?” he repeated, in disbelief, trying his best not to allow his surprise to slip into his voice. considering he isn’t from this dimension and not the most agreeable person to be around, he had no friends of his own yet and hasn’t been visited by anyone since he got here. a beat of panic struck him, thinking that he was in trouble for something and you came to complain. he really couldn’t think of any other reason you were here for him even though you were so cheerful.
you were carrying some shopping bags with you, dropping them on the ground before reaching into one and pulling out a large fuzzy plushie of a gray cat hidden under layers of glittery tissue paper, “i saw this cutie when i went shopping with my friends and thought it looked like you!” you held it out for him to take, looking so proud of the stuffed animal.
he hesitated for a second before accepting it, trying to take in the fact that you were reminded of him in your day-to-day life. it made his heart flutter, and he found himself dumbfounded by the feeling. he was frequently teased by his roomate about his little “crush” on you, claiming that it was oh so obvious and that the sooner he accepted it, the better, but he never realized until now how pathetic he was when it came to you. was the wolverine really getting butterflies like a fucking schoolgirl in his old-ass age? thank god no one was home right now to bully him about it, he would never hear the end of it.
“it does not look like me,” he scoffed playfully after a quick examination.
“no, it definitely does! it’s a big, grumpy kitty—” you took a step closer to hold it with him, pointing at all the similarities you observed, although it was clear you were exaggerating for laughs. “see the little frowny face and ears? it could be your identical twin separated from birth! willy mentioned that you act like a cat most of the time, and i think it fits perfectly!”
the smile he didn’t realize was plastered on his face faltered at the last piece of information, grateful that you didn’t notice. that idiot has been talking about him to you? he might as well forget about any chance of getting with you, because knowing how he yaps without a filter and loves to play matchmaker, you probably think he’s a freak of some sort. “only good things, i hope…”
you giggled, the sweetest sound he ever heard. “of course, he’s really fond of you… well, maybe a bit too fond, but you already know about that!” you opened your mouth to continue the conversation or say something else, but your phone started ringing and you excused yourself, looking a little shy as you grabbed up your bags. “i’ll talk to you later!” you sounded so excited about the prospect of it before leaving, your voice and footsteps becoming fainter as you walked back to your place.
“wait, you didn’t take back the cat—”
“it’s a gift! you keep those!”
“oh… right…”
he lingered for a moment, unable to say much in response since you left in such a rush. when was the last time someone gave him a present? staring at this brand new item, he still couldn’t see the resemblance in any way, but knowing that it was a gift from you gave him a rare feeling of happiness which returned every time he looked at it from then on among his few possessions. 
“oh my goodness, what is this adorable thing?!” wade exclaimed when he saw it sitting on the couch where logan slept, picking it up to gawk at before tossing it up in the air and catching it before it hit the floor. “ooh, let me guess, it’s a gift from her, isn’t it?” 
the mutant groaned at his mocking tone. “put it down before you ruin it with your grubby hands,” he commanded, snatching it from his grasp (rough enough to make his point clear, but carefully enough not to tear it apart). his roommate didn’t even bother pretending to be offended like he usually would as he was simply overjoyed that his “ship” was coming true. “it doesn’t mean anything, don’t make it weird.”
“it doesn’t mean anything?! how can you say that when it’s going to be the first gift you give to your first child together—”
“first what??”
“nevermind, what are you gonna name it?”
“i have to name it?”
“have you never owned a stuffed animal before? you have to name it! how heartbroken is she going to be when she asks what you named it and you say that you haven’t done that?! she’s gonna think that you don’t value her gifts!” you would think the world was going to end if he didn’t do so if you heard the way he was speaking.
“fine, i’ll name it…” he looked deeply into the toy’s soulless eyes, noting how soft the outer material was against his calloused hand, “... fluffy…”
“that’s such a shitty name—”
“shut the fuck up, it’s been decided.”
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scared-lantern · 14 days ago
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I'm getting my practice in drawing skulls with cotl drawings lol!! overall this was really fun and took like 11 hrs ish
probably expect more cotl bc it has me in a chokehold- it's great, though, bc ots helping me overcome this strange inability I have to make art for things om passionate abt?? idk I usually chicken out when drawing for games I like but so far haven't with cotl so progress!!! :D
(ramble warning bc the only thing that stops me yapping are word limits :] )
I started then restarted this drawing bc this pose was just rlly perfect but I'm quite happy with how this came out! I tried to find as many excuses to put bells on the lamb as possible- I kinda feel like bc they aren't very sneaky in the game, might as well make them be as shiny and loud when walking as possible :D also I just rlly like shading gold, and red - the cape was so funny had some iddues wirh the face - had redid ot a few times and settled with that one- it's alright I can live with it, I was initially worried?? abt the hair since I'm not used to drawing more textured hair types- something I absolutely need to study but I think it didn't end up terrible, albeit bc I added so much glow to it u cab really see any rendering, woops 🫣🫣🫣 the candles were a lat min addition as it looked too empty and boring - they were hard and a bit of a slog to draw eughh also, somehow, I managed to forget the red crown!!! for 10!!! hours!!! literally how finally sparkles everywhere bc reasons
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prael · 4 months ago
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Cleaning Service
Kinktember Day 2: Maid Play
Aespa Karina x male reader smut
words: 4,000 Kinktember Masterlist
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"Hey, babe?" You poke your head from the door of your home office. "What's with all the noise?"
Karina is hooking her head around the corner at the end of the hallway and calls back to you, "Noise? Oh, whoops! I was just sweeping the floor and dropped the brush. Sorry, sir."
"Sir?" you question under your breath as she disappears around the corner. "Whatever..." You retreat into the office once again, plopping down onto the comfy computer chair. You turn your focus back to the work documents in front of you. This lasts for all of two minutes before you hear a loud thumping noise once again from somewhere in the apartment.
You leave your chair, cross the room, and open the door, poking your head out in confusion once more. "Karina?" There is no reply. The hallway is quiet. The doors to the bedroom, bathroom, and kitchen are all closed. You take a step into the hall and you're greeted by the loud scraping of furniture on the floor from the living and dining room at the far end.
You advance towards the corner in apprehension, calling out again, "Karina? What's going on?"
She is half over the dining table and looking over her shoulder. "I'm still cleaning, sir. Sorry if I'm loud. I have been told that I'm too loud with everything I do." There's a lilt in her voice on those last words. Between that and her choice of dress, it is hard not to have your mind in the gutter.
"What the hell are you wearing?" You probably intended to ask that in your own head but you couldn't help but blurt it out. In reality, it's very clear what she is wearing, the better question would have been why is she wearing it, but it's too late for that.
"Sir, this is standard dress for a maid. I am the maid you hired after all. I'm here to give your big, long... hallway a long, hard, deep clean, right after I finish here in the dining room."
At this point, you haven't made eye contact for a single second of the conversation, too drawn to how her skirt is so short that not only can you see her panties, but you can see the bare skin of her lower back above them as she bends. Your gaze wanders down the backs of her tasty thighs and the gap between them.
Karina speaks again after a soft laugh at how you seem to be stunned, "Perhaps you would like to watch me work? Make sure that I don't miss a spot and get into all these... tight spaces?"
"Karina... I have work. I have to finish this paperwork..." you respond half-heartedly.
"Okay sir, if you don't want to watch, I can just keep working on my own." As you lean back on the wall by the corner, thinking, she bends forward, so that her ass rises into the air. "I promise not to make too much noise."
Working is a fool's errand, every time you hear something outside your office, you're reminded of what Karina is up to—of her ridiculous outfit. You want to watch her. There isn't enough blood in your brain for you to think clearly. And then the door opens. Brush in hand, Karina steps into the office and bends over to run the bristles across the floor in long sweeping strokes. It is impossible not to notice the slight sway in her hips.
You look away, turn, and focus back on your work. For a brief second, anyway. Her long and slightly wavy black hair hangs in front of her shoulder as she bends over to sweep, between the locks, the white low-cut lace frills of her outfit struggle to contain her chest. It's fitted so tight that they spill over, each sweep of her arms threatening to push them free.
You can't help it anymore. You steer into the skid and fuel the roleplay. "I expect every inch of this place swept, cleaned, and shined. Do you hear me?"
"Yes, sir, the place has to be clean, really clean. I am here to serve you to the best of my abilities."
"Clean this desk," you instruct simply, returning to your computer screen with a smug smirk, as though you are oblivious to the real intent of your words. You aren't really oblivious to it—you're relishing it. She is likely doing the same thing, of course. This is her plan. Her choice of outfit—from the black and white dress down to the choker on her neck has an intention behind it, and there's no point pretending that she isn't trying to seduce you.
She steps over next to you, duster in hand, and with exaggeratedly graceful gestures she dusts down the desk you work at. She reaches over you, to the far side, instead of walking around, this way she can push her chest right into your face. In between writing lines in an email, you check out the cleavage just inches from you. You breathe a gentle warm sigh right onto her.
Karina whines, softly, in your ear, and then speaks, "Oh master... It looks like there's some dirt I have to clean right"—Karina reaches down below the desk to grasp your trousers, over your bulge—"here. I know just what it needs. A nice spit-shine."
"I did hire you to clean everything," you smile. Karina settles down to her knees on the floor and then crawls under your desk. You spread your legs a little more to let her inside and roll your chair forward ever so slightly. You type your email; there are so many to work through, after all.
Her hands explore over your trousers until she is firmly clasping at you, massaging through your pants. "It's so dirty down here," Karina puts a feigned whine into her voice. "I'm going to have to get in there and really make it nice and clean, master."
Karina tugs at the zipper of your trousers and pulls it down, next she has your boxer shorts tugged down as well. She cradles you in her right hand, toying, feeling it grow harder in the palm of her hand. For some time, she playfully toys and strokes, squeezing and palming and groping all over. This is heaven.
"This is a really big job, sir, I do hope it's worth a nice, big tip. The maid likes to be rewarded well." You hear and feel the giggle against your inner thigh before she runs her wet, slick tongue all the way from the base of your length right up to the head. She spits onto it and collects it with her stroking hand, creating a smooth and slippery glide.
She uses her other hand to massage your balls, cupping and stroking them. She seems to work you over for so long without making a change and it has you wondering if she intends to use just her hand all the way. Her fingertips play over your sensitive cock, teasing, working you into a fever. Your fingertips brush the keyboard, working away while your cock is worked over, a display of inhuman self-control.
"Are you going to be a good maid and clean it for me, or just play with it all day?" Your hand wanders to the top of her head to rub her.
"Sorry master, I have been known to enjoy my job a little too much at times. Don't worry, I will have your dick all cleaned and polished right away." Karina doesn't waste another second, before her mouth engulfs you, sinking down onto you, wet and soft and slippery, hotter than even the warmth of her hands had been, her lips gliding down on you and wrapping snugly.
Your fingers tap wildly over the keyboard. She runs her lips and tongue all along your shaft as she moves down and then up. Every movement causes your toes to curl, and your body to arch forward in your seat. The movements cause your hands to slow over the keyboard. "Good girl."
Karina grabs and caresses your thigh in silent appreciation. It tickles more than anything, making you writhe ever so slightly, but that just sends you deeper into the warmth and wetness. It is absolute bliss, the smooth, warm feeling enveloping your entire shaft.
Her hands kneed your upper thighs as she pushes her head down all the way, before coming up to gasp for air, catching her breath, and then descending back onto you with eagerness. In a moment like this, you can feel every little thing she shoes with her mouth. She plays her tongue over your tip and you grip the keyboard as if you plan to twist it in half. You stare straight ahead blankly, knowing that if you were to look down, you would be a lost cause.
That tongue swirls and twists around the head, a feat that cannot go unacknowledged. You reach down with one hand and tangle up in her soft, silken black hair and push her harder. It's all the direction she needs as she brings the full heat and pressure of her mouth down into your lap, bobbing up and down rapidly. She is drooling all over you. Your fingers are gently caressing her as her tongue draws all sorts of sensations over your flesh.
At last, the task is done and you hit enter and fire off your email. Just in time to grip the arm of your chair. " Fuck..." you exhale under your breath. Karina hums happily as your cock hits the back of her throat, sending ripples through you, driving you ever closer. Harder she sucks, desperate to suck you clean. Your mouth goes dry, and a violent shiver courses through your body, toes and fingers tingling. "I'm going to..." you exhale as a shiver rushes over you, eyes widening, pleasure mounting, peaking.
You tremble. Then, your eyes shut and you squeeze into a fistful of hair. You let out a low, long growl and thrust your hips forward, grunting. You cum, right down the back of Karina's throat, and she works you the entire time, sucking down every drop of you into herself. This is ecstasy. You could float right up away through the roof and into the sky at any minute.
Karina bobs her head for a short time, the intense sensitivity is almost unbearable, every second, every stroke is an overload to your system, but she won't give in into you have released every drop. Finally, she pulls her mouth away. Your whole body sags in relief as Karina leans her face against your thigh. "I trust my work has satisfied?" she whispers, and all you can do is nod. "Then I should continue my other tasks."
Karina crawls out from under your desk, and as she stands, she wipes around her mouth with her fingers. Her lip gloss is smeared at the sides of her lips, her cheeks reddened and her hair messy, but she still gives you the most beautiful smile. She stands straight and neatens her dress. 
"Where was I... Ah, yes, I should dust the shelves. Sir." You roughly pull up your trousers and underwear and watch as Karina retrieves her duster and sets about her work. You look back at your screen but she's still there in the periphery, standing on her tiptoes as she dusts, the hem of her little dress not even half-covering her perky ass. "Don't let me distract you, sir, work hard. Really, really hard."
What else were you meant to do? You watch Karina as she dances around, dusting in a way that doesn't even clean anything. Everything else has become unimportant, apart from the curves of her body moving in front of you. You could sit there all day, watching her, and, well, that's probably just what Karina wants. She has effectively just said don't try to do any work, sit there and think about fucking me instead.
A few emails later she's still there, leaning to reach the lower shelves, arching her back and showing you everything. Your commitment wanes by the second, just staring, thinking and wanting, it's like torture. "How can I focus while you're just there? In front of me?" You ask her directly at last, leaving your chair, walking past and watching her over her shoulder, pressing a kiss onto the side of her neck.
"What's wrong, sir? Have I done something wrong? Please don't fire me, I'll do anything." You stand directly behind her, nose in her neck, your hands resting on her hips, before sliding down and cupping her round ass. Karina fakes a stammer in her voice, "Sir, that's... that's..."
She doesn't resist. Your hands slip between her legs and stroke her underwear. You can feel how wet she is by just grazing over her. "I didn't hire you to be pretty, slutty and wet, you know? I hired you to work."
Karina pushes back into you, grinding against your fingers, wanting more than a tease. "Sir, I thought those were the only reasons you hired me."
You grip the band of her panties, before tugging them down her thighs. Karina grips the bookshelf, pushing her ass out towards you. "You really want to earn a tip?"
"Yes sir, a big, hard, throbbing, long tip..." Karina purrs, squirming against you, trying to get some stimulation where she needs it most, pushing her wet slit back towards you.
You plant one firm palm between her shoulder blades, using a hard force to pin her against the bookcase. Your fingertips travel down between her legs and you slip one inside her, causing her to inhale sharply through clenched teeth.
You follow this with another. They slide right in with a groan. You whisper in her ear, "How can a maid clean when she is so dirty? Look at the mess you are dripping down your leg." You say that with a tinge of aggression even if you're really happy about it. "It's going to get on my floor. The very floor you should be keeping clean."
"I can mop it all up. I'm so sorry." Her voice is an irresistible plea as you massage her soaked insides. "You can even make a mess of me if you want, then I will clean it all up. You will think I'm the very best maid."
"Want to be a good maid?" You spit onto the floor by her foot. "Get down there and clean that up. Quick." Karina immediately descends and begins licking your saliva off the floor.
You lower to your own knees, right behind her, and push your trousers down again, pulling your hardened, still-wet, cock free once more. Karina's licks are frantic—even if there's nothing left on the floor, you order her to continue until it's spotless while you take hold of her hips in a firm, dominant grasp.
You guide her body as needed as you press yourself against her pussy, running your stiffened cock over her flesh. "You clean that floor well and I'll give you a very... very big tip."
"Yes sir," is a repeated series of eager replies punctuated by soft groans, as you grind your shaft against her, lubing yourself up with her sticky juices. She shudders in your grasp and quivers every time the tip of your cock brushes across her clit.
Her attention falters with each one, causing her tongue to get slower. "Keep... Cleaning. You're not done yet." You hold your cock right at her entrance, and she pushes back, a subtle attempt to get you in her, she gets as much as the first inch before you pull back out.
Karina cries out at the teasing, "Nooo, please, put it inside me, sir." She glances back at you, and there's a glaze over those hazel eyes. Desperation.
"Keep licking," you tease Karina, pushing the head of your cock into her and out, never quite fucking her but driving her crazy. "Show me how clean you can get my floor. Then I'll fuck you... Hard... You want that, don't you?"
"Yes," she pants and shivers, unable to even formulate more of a sentence.
You reach up for the back of her dress, the black fabric held together by a white string, which you easily pull free. You keep pulling and it all unwinds from her, exposing her beautiful pale skin down to her lower back. Her breathing speeds as the reality sets in, you're taking control, pulling off her clothing, baring her. You grab the dress, yanking it down her body, and she doesn't even wear a bra so those heavy tits hang freely.
You return a palm to her upper back, pinning her to the floor. You readjust your position behind her.
Now she is near-nude, pressed flush against the cold and wet floor, and you're leaning over her. You steady your grasp back on her waist, taking her firmly. "What do you want?"
"I want payment for my services, sir, in the form of a big, hot load in my slutty, little pussy," Karina moans. She feels vulnerable now, underneath you as you lean over her back.
You begin to press inside her, feeling all of that clinging wetness, hearing her little noises. Slowly at first, before increasing your intensity, driving inside of her all the way. As you do, you speak over her, "Paid in sex? Paid in cum? And where will it go after we're done?"
"I'll keep it inside me, sir, so there's no mess. You can even dump it all inside my ass, and then I will make sure it all stays there." Karina quivers under you, her back is so slender and delicate, smooth as silk. You run your fingers across her spine and see her skin ripple and her butt rise slightly upwards in response.
"Think I might just do that then..." You begin to build up a rhythm inside her, picking up momentum. She seems so delicate and weak under you, everything Karina usually is not. She's whimpering already, a sign of how desperately horny she is, how she wants to be yours. You grip the soft flesh of her ass and then give a slap with your palm, leaving a red mark.
"Thank you, sir." There's a sincere sense of submission in Karina, which you drink up. She enjoys this change of pace just as much as you do.
You slip a thumb between her cheeks and run it up and down her crack. You prod her hole, eliciting another high-pitched whine from her lips and her insides tighten around you which feels fucking amazing. You gather more of the sticky juices leaking down from her pussy, moistening your thumb further and begin pressing your finger more firmly into her, inching the first knuckle up inside her ass.
With each press inside, a squeal leaves her lips, though her words beg for more, "Give me more, sir, don't stop, it's so good... Thank you!"
Karina is reacting like crazy, it is unlike her to be this sensitive, in the moment, she doesn't allow anyone to control her, but this is everything to her now. You push deeper into her, and deeper, and with a little more resistance, all the way inside. Now you're pressed to the hilt, all the way inside Karina's pussy, and thumb-deep inside her ass at the same moment, drawing more delicious, delicate noises from her, turning your beautiful domineering woman into a helpless mess of blissful whimpers.
Keeping your length inside her, you work your thumb with a twist and a push and you let your spit spill onto her hole, slicking it and making the movement smoother. You use your spare hand to brush over the cheeks and grope. Karina trembles violently, moaning, pushing herself backwards on your digit. She loves having you deep inside her like this, both holes stuffed.
There are so many things that you could say, so many taunts, so many vulgar things, but to bask in the revelry of Karina being a messy submissive girl is to not even need to say them, her expressions, noises, reactions and the pure depravity of it are more than enough for you. This is it.
This is it.
You pull from her cunt and cock back your thumb, ready to replace it with all the pumped-up eagerness of a man possessed, and then you spread her wide. Little to stop you as you slide forward, plunging into the warm and snug grip of her ass. She cries out in response to your breach, making those cute, sexy noises all over again, as you slowly slide into her, gritting your own teeth and groaning as you bury yourself completely within the grip of Karina's asshole, every bit as intense and delightful as you knew it would be.
"God you've got the best ass," you say with a growl. "Fit to take everything I have."
Karina could say anything, sarcastic or clever, or maybe something born out of depravity, but she can barely summon up anything more than an approving murmur. The kind of sound a girl makes when her mind isn't here anymore, focused on a single, wonderful feeling—being stuffed and stretched out.
Your hands caress the supple skin of Karina's ass as you begin to withdraw, holding the soft flesh between your fingers and taking handfuls of her.
Karina clutches, clawing at the floor, but says nothing, letting the sensations take her away, overwhelmed. Just her moans and the deep gasping breath through her nose as you roll your hips into her, grinding and stroking over her and causing her to go so rigid and tense. Her eyes roll back as you lose yourself within her.
A rhythm forms and you're barrelling towards giving her the mess she wants inside her ass. She strains to say, "Fuck my ass. Fuck it. Fuck it and then fill it. Want you so deep. Want all that cum."
Your fingernails dig in, gouging red scratches on her pale ass cheeks as you squeeze her tighter. Karina's hole grows snugger and hotter by the second as if the warmth and depth were begging for what Karina had voiced—an ass full of cum. You certainly want that, and the faster and rougher your hips work the closer it is. "Love filling all your tight holes."
"Do it, cum," Karina moans.
Hard and fast it arrives, the need that you can't prevent. You erupt within her. Violent spasms accompany your filling of her ass, of what must be the most satisfying, taboo orgasm of your life (so far). She takes it all so beautifully, moaning and squealing as she fills up.
No mess. None at all. "So full," she whines. No mess but the one in her.
You lean down, head at her shoulder as you catch your breath, and she cranes her head to nuzzle against you, reaching up to touch your cheek and make eye contact with you through heavy-lidded, satisfied eyes. In that gaze, she doesn't have a smirk or any sort of mischief, just a pleased look of joy, appreciation, and perhaps even a desire for more. You'd be lying to yourself if you didn't say you shared the feeling.
You leave her there, slumped onto the floor, ass in the air. Her little maid outfit is barely even affixed to her body anymore, crumpled and hanging around her midsection. The skin of her ass still bears the marks of your nails. She remains where you have left her. Karina's face and breasts smudge and push against the floor with each breath she takes. The room smells of sex, her, the two of you.
"Clean yourself up. Clean my office up," you instruct her while buckling yourself back up before heading for the door.
Karina coughs once, then admits, "I don't know if I can manage that. Maybe we need a real maid."
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