#also ajr live fucks severely

[gibbearish]

am finally back home and can say without a doubt that i am just fundamentally not built for long distance travel however the train was much nicer than planes

[justanotheradhdian]

First and foremost. I'm not an expert.

But I have been living with severe ADHD so I'll share some thoughts.

Tl;Dr Be gentle with yourself and give your brain a break when you get stuck.

LR

In my experience when I'm stuck staring at walls and tasks and completely unable to do them and Hobbies. I overstimulated myself somehow. Like. When I'm experiencing what you're describing it's a Go back to bed and either doomscroll or put on something in the background for noise (pmseymour, doshdoshington, Bettina levy, spiffing Brit) and try again to exist later/tomorrow.

And most importantly I have to tell myself that "today just isn't it. If I keep trying to force it, it'll never be it. I have to take it easy, And NOT yell at myself over it."

I'm going through a period where I'm having this kind of low day pretty frequently myself. But I've found that giving myself that out and just. Letting my brain do that shut down thing for a day or two or even 3 if it's been a really long overstimulation thing. Helps massively.

Also avoid the word Should in regards to feelings and such. (I should be able to function, I should be fine. Etc.) It kinda mentally beats on the brain and further drains the executive functioning thing.

Also don't fully rule out the coping stuff you've already tried. As I've heard it put, the strategies do work. But our brains are different. They won't work out of the box, so you have to adapt them in your own way to get them to work.

Also check out the app Dubbii,

It's a free body doubling app by a neurodivergent couple.

They have videos which will do the work alongside you and walk you through it, and nudges that have helped me so far.

Most importantly be gentle with yourself, and your brain. It's trying its best, but sometimes the house is on fire and there's no alarm and the walls are melting too. You're genuinely trying to make life work. And it's hard. The tools are the wrong size, or you have to use two or more of them at once. You never have enough hands, the pressure gets intense and it feels like nothing will ever work.

But you'll find something.

Everyone's brain is a jam sandwich. When you squeeze a jam sandwich. The jam spills out the sides. The spill is the symptoms.

Society puts enough pressure on us

Take the pressure off somehow, and the symptoms become more manageable.

Random addition number 4267: Adding music or some kind of gamifying thing also helps with chore stuff. Music therapy is a whole thing that exists.

You can do this.

Some songs I recommend just cause (varying genres and in no particular order)

(song title - artist)

Talking to myself - watsky

Symptom of being human - shinedown

Take control of your own life - Sven Karlsson, Easton

Sunrise - our last night

Color your night - lotus juice

Break through it all - Sega sound team, Tomoya Ohtani, Kellin Quin

Good fucking music - Solence

Actually a lot of Solence tbh. Phoenix is great, fuck the bad vibes dead tomorrow all good.

Battling my demons - jeris Johnson and boi what

Still Dancing - Or3o

Anthem for the underdog - 12 stones

What is my life - jacksepticeye, the Gregory brothers

Patience - Bad Suns

2112 - team astro

Electrified - Autumn Kings

Record player - Ajr and Daisy the Great

Rise and fall - adventure club, Krewella

Ten seconds in the saddle - Chris Ledoux

If you want/need to talk more just drop me a message or something! Hope this helps.

Ok how to do shit. Like, start doing tasks and keep doing them. I don't want neurotypical advice, it doesn't work, planners don't work, exercising is a task by itself, etc. It's not a social media issue, I'm just starring at a fucking wall. And then even if I manage to start doing something, there's ~80% chance that I'll abandon it during the first 10 minutes. Includes everything, hobbies, eating, low effort tasks (like watching a show) etc. Did anyone have the same/similar issue and got better? Genuinely, if anyone has any advice, please share.

Again, no planners, no exercise, no ask other people for help, no put out distractions, no change environment (all of that didn't work/is not possible for me) and it includes not only starting but keeping doing the thing. Please please please I'll take anything

[clockout-comic]

Please give us new folk a rundown on your OCs here >:D

CRACKS KNUCKLES

you just said the magic words bestie get fuckin ready

OKAY SO...

the setup for mrawdrs is that the four main characters all work at the same company (named MRaWDR: Magical Runoff and Waste Disposal Regulations, because the founder is about as original with naming things as i am LMAO) working as a field service team, the same way a crime scene cleanup or hazmat crew would work, but way more magical

first is addie dunbar, the security/medic (still working on her certification on that last one tho)

shes a unicorn, a trans lesbian, and has NO INTERESTING BACKSTORY AT ALL HAHA WHY WOULD YOU EVEN ASSUME THAT... here have some random facts so you stop thinking about it

her favorite author is jane austen, shes a huge classic lit nerd and listens to audiobooks constantly

her sharp teefies are veneers that were an absolute goddamn NIGHTMARE to get put in, because unicorn magic is healing-based and they just kept fucking popping off

shes actually SUPER fucking powerful as far as unicorns go, but being able to refine and direct her magic in a useful way is Very Very Dangerous to do on her own, and theres no unicorns around to help guide her

none that she would want to learn from anyways

hehehahehhahehaheheha

her great-great-great grandmother is brooklyn supreme

her voice claim is hozier, because take me to church is an extremely addie song

her job on the team is to act as a living battery for elmira to use to supercharge her runes, do (VERY MINOR) healing if one of them gets hurt, and to take care of any violent flora/fauna/sentient goo that may show up on a job. support tank!

up next is the teams technician, jones nolastname

a human engineering magic specialist, ball of anxiety, and Ultimate Nice Guy (genuine), they maintain and reconfigure all the equipment that the team uses on all of their jobs

yes thats their real last name. they fucked up the application for name change and never corrected it because they were too socially anxious

theyre a DDR master and will hog the machine at their local arcade for 12+ hours if you let them

theyre also a huuuuuuuge anime/manga/video game enthusiast. were it not for my infinite mercy as their god, they would be addicted to genshin impact

theyre actually the only native resident of the city that everyone lives in, called The Island of Steve (the name changes pretty often lol), everyone else moved from different states or countries

they grew up in the foster system, and were bullied so heavily by their foster siblings for being autistic and having a severe stutter/other speech impediments that they became mute. when they were younger it was by choice, but now as an adult their vocal cords have completely atrophied and theres no chance of recovering their ability to speak

BUT. sign is taught as a second language in all schools by law, so its a little easier on them to adapt

as such, they dont have a voice claim, but the song i most associate with their character is Worlds Smallest Violin by AJR. sometimes i think about paying someone to translate it into asl so i can make an accurate animatic of them "singing" it

third is elmira quickroot, the charms specialist and recordskeeper

fucking ultimate weirdgirl, i love her to death and i want to rattle her around like a maraca. she's a faerie, very british, and yes she does dress like that in her daily life. this is not a faerie thing shes just fuckin weird. her job on the team is to record absolutely everything that happens to the letter (for legal and billing reasons), and doing more intricate charm/rune work (which is essentially like magical computer coding)

elmira has perfect memory! much more intense and detailed than the eidetic memory or hyperthymesia that humans can have, literally every second of every day has been perfectly branded into her memory since the day she pupated into an adult. she doesnt know why, this isnt a normal faerie thing either, and her coping mechanisms for escaping the constant recall are.. not good, to say the least

shes a HUUUUUGE textiles nerd, she makes all of her own clothing on as minute a level as she can manage- by which i mean she weaves her own fabric, spins her own yarn, makes her own patterns, and on and on and on. dont get me wrong, she can and will raid the local Fantasy Michaels or Joann Fabrics for any supplies she can get, but the girl is kind of bugfuck nuts and on bad days she'll get really deep into it

her home country is a cut off faerie-only kingdom in the UK called The Realm, made from the ruins of an old castle built by giants waaaaaaaay back in the day, i need to do concept art of it because its genuinely beautiful

her voice claim issss. complicated. the closest human equivalent is florence welsh but pitched up, but in reality it would sound way less human. the way i usually describe it is if someone sang a sentence backwards into a microphone and then reversed the audio. i might do a demo of what i mean at some point lol, but thats pretty common for faeries

she stole her name from the city in new york and her gender from a random barista

the boobs are implants lol

her wings are based off of a blue morpho dragonfly

and finally... the man of the hour, your grandpa and mine, ultimate babygirl.... TOUFOR!!!

(THUNDEROUS APPLAUSE)

toufor is the customer relations guy, he goes out and does surveys on non-emergency jobs and coordinates with the clients to make sure they get all the right services they need. he is the most well adjusted motherfucker in canon and hes a corpse

(okay thats a lie theres someone who very nearly ties with him, but thats a sentient pair of pants who sounds exactly like sonic the hedgehog. his name is frankie we love him.)

toufor is a ghoul, the only one that has ever existed or ever will exist because hes a ~walking human rights violation~

i wrote out a whole list for toufor and then my computer restarted and deleted all of it so im gonna crawl in a hole for a while. aaaaaaaaaaaa

OKAY

toufor is a huuuuge music nerd, his record/CD collection is valued in the hundreds of thousands of dollars and he listens to everything in it regularly

the only guy in the world who says his music taste is everything and really means it

he has achondroplasia, but is shorter than the average height for people w the same condition. that plus the general constantly rotting a little faster than your body can replenish its cells thing means that he has a lot of health issues

BUT. he has a whole platoon of specialists that have dedicated their careers to keeping him healthy and with a good quality of life. its my city and doctors can be good if i want them to be. their work and the treatments he goes through are inspired pretty heavily by the Lenin Lab, which i recommend you check out this video by Ask a Mortician to learn more about it!!

this body isnt his original, and the elaboration on what happened and how his Whole Deal works is an entirely different post on its own. it will involve diagrams

i have an au that i write with my bestie where some of the characters in mrawdrs work at a strip club, and toufor comes in to do nothing but eat chicken wings for the entire night and then tip $500 to every dancer. they all love him dearly and this vibe extends into the core canon storyline

he cannot perform any kind of magic! due to the way his soul-body situation works, he has no way to access the magic inside of his body, or the stuff that exists in the environment ambiently. going along with that, any magic performed on HIM takes much more "juice" to actually take effect and takes MUCH longer to do so. he isnt a complete dead zone (HAAAAAAAAAA) but his... tolerance? is much higher.

his voice claim is corpse husband. i shant elaborate.

aaaaaaand thats the main bitches. theres also a fuckin LOT of side characters, sexy irredeemable antagonists, and background characters ive put a ridiculous amount of thought into, who all deserve their own posts in time... this is a threat

thank u for the opportunity to gush about my babbies <3

[dachshund-games]

okie what are some song recs you have for us? List as many as you want (pls explain why they are so amazing too!!!)

Oh babe you have unlocked something you probably shouldn't have buckle the fuck up

Pictures in my head from the Muppet movie- Out of all the songs on here this is probably the one I relate to the most. My insecurities tend to target my relationships with my friends, so when I feel really bad about maybe ending a friendship I listen to this (Also the amount of times I've imagined animatics to this song is unhealthy)

A Pearl by Mitski- I want to scream this song from the top of a mountain that is all

Dead man's party by Oingo Boingo- Honestly this song is just a bop

Passing Through by Kaden MacKay- Sometimes it's easy for me to feel like I'm just watching my life as a movie and not living it the way I should. I also go through phases where nothing feels real and I feel really disconnected from my body and this song helps me rationalize that feeling and help me overcome it

Best Friend by Rex Orange County- I can apply the lyrics of this song to events of my life and every time I listen to it I either jam out in my room for hours or lay on the floor and cry. There is no in-between

Talia from Ride the Cyclone- This song is so lovely. I've never seen the musical, but in this song he's talking about how much he loves his online girlfriend. He's also Ukrainian and some of the lyrics are in Ukrainian! It also goes from a soft love song to disco to soft love song

The Uranium Suite from Ride the Cyclone- The ending of this song is one you belt while standing on a cliff. The lyrics are good and sets up the show well. 10/10

Adventure is out there by AJR- Prefacing this by saying that AJR holds a special place in my heart. My best friend introduced me to their music and they were also the first concert I ever went to. This song speaks to me in a way I can't describe and it's just fun to listen to

Navy Skies by Egg- This song makes me feel capable of loving someone. The soft music and sweet lyrics combine to make a song that makes my insides feel like maple syrup

Time Alive by KC Katalbas- This makes me feel like I'm driving along a road beside a beach with my hair blowing in the wind. I've cried to it several times

Death of a bachelor by Panic! At the disco- This is so good and it was also my top song of 2021 :/

Lotta true crime by Penelope Scott- My bestie and I both went through a true crime phase at the same time and she introduced me to this song. I'm still a true crime fan but I'm not as fanatic about it as I used to me, but this song reminds me of her

Karma by AJR- The ending of this song makes me cry because I can relate to it and holy shit it hits me right in the insecurities

Lay all your love on me from Mamma Mia!- THIS SONG IS A FUCKING BANGER AND IF YOU DISAGREE I WILL BECOME A VERY VIOLENT INDIVIDUAL!!!!!!!

505 by Arctic Monkeys- Sometimes I just sit on my bed and listen to this song and when I do that is the only time I feel like a whole human being, not just a consciousness in a body

Introduction to the snow by Miracle Musical- This is one of the saddest yet most beautiful songs I have ever listened to. It makes me feel emotions I didn't know I had and has gotten me through some pretty rough times. Just.... *cries*

Lavender by Penelope Scott- The only way I can describe this song is "Spinning downwards very fast" and honestly it slaps

The campfire song from The lightning thief musical- This song helped me get through the worst chapter of my life because I could relate to it so much. I can also sing it from memory

[clumsyclifford]

i won’t forget you (but i may forget your name)

this is unforgivably stupid and entirely the fault of @reveriesofawriter​ who pointed out that because duke’s name was originally luke, if calum hadn’t changed his name, luke would’ve had to have been known as human luke. i have no explanation other than that. this is a gen fic i didn’t proofread it at all and all you need to know is that duke’s name is never changed to duke. the name luke is in this fic an obscene amount of times

i’m also so fucking sorry for giving this an actual title i really was just going to call it human luke but then i remembered this lyric from i’m ready by ajr so instead it’s being called that 

WITHOUT FURTHER ADO: the human luke fic aka five times someone called luke human luke and one time he did it to himself

read it here on ao3

-

“What’s his name?” Luke asks.

Calum smirks. “Luke.”

“What?”

“His name.”

“Yeah, that’s what I asked you for, dipshit.”

“And I’m telling you, dipshit, his name is Luke.”

Luke stares through the phone screen. “No it’s not.”

“It is.”

“But you’re going to change it, right? You’re not going to keep a dog named Luke when you already have a best friend named Luke?”

“Quick to assume you’re my best friend,” Calum says airily. “Not very fair to Michael, I’ve known him longer.”

“You’re going to rename the dog, right?” Luke repeats emphatically. 

Calum scrunches up his face. “But he looks like a Luke, Luke! It’s the perfect name for him.”

“We are in a band together!” Luke says, feeling vaguely hysterical and also kind of like this is some kind of fever dream, or possibly nightmare. “You see me every single day! You can’t just have a dog named Luke! You could rename him so easily!”

“But it’s about the vibes,” Calum says.

“Change the dog’s name, bro.”

“No, bro. The dog is Luke. You’ll just have to be Human Luke.”

“Absolutely the fuck not,” Luke says. “Under no circumstances are you calling me Human Luke. I was here first. The dog can be Dog Luke.”

“He’s already used to the name Luke, though,” Calum says, glancing off-screen at something. His features immediately soften, and he shifts for a moment, then sets his phone down. Luke frowns. When Calum’s face returns, it’s accompanied by a dog’s face.

Luke hates the dog on instinct, but he has to admit this soon-to-be-renamed Luke is super cute. His tiny snout takes up most of the screen, white with a black streak that climbs up onto his black head. He has a little beard, or whatever, tan fluff under his little cheeks and chin. Luke forces himself not to awww. This dog is causing problems.

“I’m already used to the name Luke,” Luke says, ignoring the way Calum is cooing over Dog Luke and kissing his adorable face.

“Yes, but it’s much easier to make you understand that you’re Human Luke than to make him have to learn a whole new name. Look at this face, Luke.” Calum brings the camera closer to Dog Luke’s snout. The dog’s deep black eyes stare innocently into it. “Just look at him. You wouldn’t deny this face his name, would you?”

“Easily,” Luke grumbles. “Easily I would. I am not being Human Luke.”

Calum gives him a look of sympathy. “Sorry, mate.”

Luke is not being Human Luke.

-

“So I went over to Calum’s house,” Ashton explains, “and Luke was just sat in the kitchen, and I was like, when the hell did you get a tiny dog?”

Everyone laughs, except Luke, who had momentarily zoned out only to be pulled back in by being mentioned by name. And they’re not even talking about him.

“Not Human Luke,” Calum adds, giggling. “My dog, Luke.”

“That must get confusing,” Elvis Duran says. “Having a dog named Luke and also a bandmate.”

“Yeah, you would think, wouldn’t you?” Luke puts in, shooting a glare to Calum, who’s decidedly ignoring him. “You would think maybe if you were in a band with a bloke called Luke you wouldn’t get a dog with the same name?”

Elvis chuckles, although Luke really hadn’t been joking. “So how do you guys tell them apart?” he asks, which is kind of rude. It’s not like Luke and Dog Luke look alike. “Or do you guys just say Luke and go with whichever one answers first?”

“Oh, we call Human Luke, well, Human Luke,” Ashton says, grinning at Luke’s put out expression. “He’s not a fan.”

“I maintain that I was here first!” Luke insists, as the entire studio breaks into laughs.

“Human Luke seems like it would work,” Elvis agrees. 

“Don’t get any ideas,” Luke says warningly. He says it like he’s joking so that he doesn’t get in trouble, but Elvis is grinning. “Yeah, the boys have begun their efforts to force me out of the band by bullying, but I won’t go down easy.”

“I don’t know,” Michael says thoughtfully. “He really doesn’t like being called Human Luke.”

“I’m the original Luke!”

Nobody will stop laughing long enough to let Luke defend himself any longer, and the interview moves on. 

-

Calum posts a picture of Luke and Dog Luke on Instagram. Luke gets no warning, hadn’t even known about the existence of the photo. It’s a really cute picture, a candid taken from earlier in the week, when Luke had come over to Calum’s place and they’d had a swim together. The photo shows Luke cradling Dog Luke, standing waist-deep in the pool, nose buried in Dog Luke’s neck. 

The caption reads: Luke and Human Luke, my two best friends <3 #cake.

Luke is going to kill Calum.

“You can’t just call me Human Luke!” Luke says when they’re in the studio later in the day. Calum smirks and says nothing.

“Move on,” Michael calls from the other end of the table, where he and Ashton have been plotting, heads together. “You’re already Human Luke. You can’t escape it. You may as well own it.”

“Never,” Luke says. “I’ll fight this until my dying day. And you,” he jabs a finger at Calum, “are the worst friend ever.”

“I called you my best friend!” Calum protests.

“If I was your best friend, you’d have changed your fucking dog’s name.”

“Think of it like this,” Calum says, placatingly. Luke already senses he won’t like what Calum is about to say. “You’re called Luke, and you’re cute. And he’s cute, so it makes sense to call him Luke.”

“But he,” Luke points out, forcefully, “is a dog.”

Calum shakes his head, like Luke’s entirely missing the point. From the other end of the table, Michael snorts. “Can you take the compliment, please? I’m making the best of a bad situation.”

“You’re living for this,” Luke accuses. “You fucking love this. You all love calling me Human Luke. Sadists, all of you. I’m getting a new band.”

“Good luck finding anyone else who will put up with you as much as we do,” Michael says. “We’ve been in the studio for an hour and all you’ll talk about is being called Human Luke.”

“Maybe you should write a song about it,” Ashton suggests. “Get your frustrations out.”

“Or you could just accept it,” Calum offers, slinging an arm over Luke’s shoulders. “It gives you character. Luke wishes he could have as much character as Human Luke has.”

“Worst friend on the planet,” Luke repeats.

-

Ashton FaceTimes while Luke is making dinner with Jack — not his decision, but Jack’s, determined that Luke learn to make at least something for himself, never mind that he can make scrambled eggs just fine, kind of, thank you very much — but they’ve just put the lasagna in the oven, so Luke picks up.

“Hey, hey, hey!” Ashton says, beaming. When Jack appears beside Luke, Ashton adds, “Jack, man, what’s up!”

“Just teaching this guy to cook,” Jack says good-naturedly. Luke passes his phone off to Jack so they can chat. “How are you, man? It’s been a minute.”

“I’m good,” Ashton says, grinning wide. “I’m good, yeah. Spent some time today with Luke and Calum, tried to get some writing done but Luke wouldn’t stop, like, trying to climb onto the couch and walking all over the pages and stuff. Eventually we just gave up and played with him.”

Jack’s face goes through several stages of confusion. “Uh, what?”

“Oh, obviously not Human Luke,” Ashton says, and Luke glances at Jack and sees sheer glee building itself on his face. “Calum’s dog, Luke.”

“Calum got a dog,” Jack repeats, a slow smile stretching the corners of his mouth out, “and named it Luke, and now my brother is Human Luke?”

“The dog was already called Luke,” Luke grumbles. “And don’t get any fucking ideas, you arse. If you call me Human Luke even once I will put all of your worst secrets on the internet.” He glares at Ashton. “See what you’ve done?”

Ashton doesn’t look even slightly regretful. “I can’t believe you don’t know about Luke,” he says to Jack. “He’s basically the only thing on Calum’s Instagram these days.”

“I don’t go on Instagram a lot,” Jack says. “You really call Luke Human Luke?”

“Enough of this!” Luke says loudly, wrenching his phone out of Jack’s hands. “I’m going to go catch up with Ashton, and you can call me when you need me to, like, whatever you need from me.”

“Have a good catch-up,” Jack bids him, smirking, as Luke leaves the kitchen. “Human Luke.”

“Twitter’s just begging to know about you bringing your teddy bear to uni!”

“Twitter doesn’t give a shit about me!” Jack calls back. “Tell them I’m only calling you Human Luke from now on!”

Ashton laughs. Luke gives him a piercing glare.

“You’re a shithead,” he declares. “You’re all shitheads. I need new friends. And a new family.”

“But you love us so much,” Ashton says, giggling. “You’re the only Human Luke I’ve got, buddy.”

“I will seriously hang up on you.”

Luke’s phone buzzes. He briefly swipes down from the top to read a text from Ben:

Ben Hemmings: YOUR BAND CALLS YOU HUMAN LUKE???????????

For fuck’s sake.

-

When Alex texts Luke asking if any of his band wants to grab a coffee this weekend, Luke is quick to accept. It’s been too long since he’s seen Alex, and they’re intersecting one weekend in L.A., so Luke sends out the invite to his bandmates.

On Saturday afternoon, Luke and Michael wander into a coffee shop somewhere in the mysteriously secluded part of downtown Los Angeles, eyes searching until they land on Alex and Jack.

“What’s going on?” Alex says, grinning and getting to his feet. He pulls Michael into a hug first, and then Luke. Jack does the same. “Feels like it’s been forever.”

“Well, you’ve been busy with Last Young Renegade, haven’t you?” Michael says as they all sit. “And we’ve got Youngblood coming out.”

“Yeah, suspiciously close release date you guys chose, there,” Jack says, narrowing his eyes playfully at Michael. “We know you’re, like, a million times more successful than us, but did you need to show us up like that?”

“Yeah,” Michael says. “We did, yeah.” He turns to Luke. “Wanna get us drinks?”

Luke stands. “What do you want?”

“Iced caramel coffee,” Michael says. “Honestly, Luke, you should know my coffee order by now, This is terrible for our image. We’re supposed to live in each other’s pockets.”

“Fuck you,” Luke argues. “It changes, like, every month.”

“Or maybe you’re just a terrible friend.”

Luke rolls his eyes and Alex and Jack chuckle, and he ambles over to the register to order for himself and Michael. 

When he returns to the table, Michael’s mid-story. Luke slides back into his seat and passes Michael’s drink to him, and Michael takes it without breaking in his narrative. “So Calum is wasted, and Luke — Human Luke, I mean — is basically passed out, almost, and I’m just trying to get Calum’s fucking door open. This bitch,” he jerks his chin at Luke, “is heavy.”

“I’m just tall!”

“I basically had to feel Calum up to get the key out of his pocket,” Michael says gravely. “But we got inside. And then Luke wouldn’t stop making noise, of course, because he was so excited to see us after we’d been out for hours. You wouldn’t think such a small dog could make such a racket, but there you are.”

“Oh, Luke!” Alex says excitedly, and Luke thinks, for a second, that Alex means him, but of course he doesn’t. Nobody does, these days. “I keep seeing him on Calum’s Instagram. He’s so fucking cute.”

“Absolutely adorable,” Michael agrees. 

“Did you just call Luke Human Luke?” Jack asks. Luke buries his face in his hands.

“Don’t even start,” he mutters. “They won’t stop.”

“That’s kinda hilarious,” Jack says. “Imagine if I got a dog and just called it Alex.”

“I wouldn’t blame you,” Alex says. “Alex is the best name ever.”

“Actually, if I was going to name it after anyone in the band, it’d be Alex, probably,” Jack concedes. “Zack’s kinda, like, too human. And Rian’s name is spelled weird, so obviously it couldn’t be that.”

“You have my blessing,” Alex tells him. “In fact, I dare you.”

“This isn’t a joke,” Luke says stubbornly. He takes a drink from his own iced coffee. “I’m being made into a mockery. I’m a serious musician.”

“So is Lil Dicky,” Jack points out, “and he’s called Lil Dicky. Like, on purpose. You could do way worse than Human Luke.”

“Human Luke would actually be a pretty sick rap name,” Alex says, laughing.

“It’s a futile effort, guys,” Michael says. “He’s dead set on being pissed off about it.”

“I’m the original Luke,” Luke says despondently. He’s said that so many times in the past couple of month he’s beginning to feel like a broken record. “I came first!”

“Aw, don’t worry,” Alex says, reaching over the table to pat Luke’s cheeks reassuringly. “You’ll always be plain old Luke to me.”

“Not me,” Jack says, smirking. “I’m calling you Human Luke now, for sure.”

“I’ll delete your number,” Luke threatens.

“You will not.”

Luke won’t — he’s not about to delete Jack Barakat’s number — but he sure wishes he could, just to make a statement.

-

Dog Luke is super cute. There’s no way around it.

It’s just, okay, his snout. It’s his snout! And his tiny paws, and his floppy little ears, and his soulful eyes. And, he can smile. He’s a dog who can smile, okay, how could you not find him just absolutely precious? Luke would challenge anyone to look at Dog Luke for five seconds and not fall immediately in love.

He and Calum are playing Fifa, but Calum’s just gone to the bathroom when Dog Luke stretches out. He’d been curled up, snoozing on the floor. Now he shakes himself out and pushes himself onto his hind legs, front paws on the couch, gazing at Luke.

Luke huffs. “Only ‘til Cal gets back.” He picks Dog Luke up and hugs him close to his chest. Dog Luke nuzzles his nose into Luke’s neck. Luke smiles despite himself. He actually loves this dog, whatever bitterness he might spread around. It’s impossible not to.

“Alright, let’s have a little chat, you and I,”  Luke decides, laying down and cuddling Dog Luke up in his arms. “I don’t hate you, you know. I just hate your owner. Calum’s a shithead. You’re alright. It’s not your fault you’re called Luke.”

Dog Luke squirms in Luke’s arms, and Luke drops a kiss on the top of his head. This seems to satisfy him, enough to stop him moving. “I bet it gets confusing for you, though, having me here?” Luke hums, scratching mindlessly behind Dog Luke’s ears. “That’s why I have to be Human Luke, because that doesn’t sound like Luke. You’re Luke. When we’re in the same room, anyway. I forgive you for that. Can’t teach an old dog new tricks. Or a new name. Or anything new, really.”

Dog Luke just sneezes. 

“Well, it’s nice to meet you, Luke,” Luke says. “I’m Human Luke. I’ll go by Human Luke for you.”

“About fucking time!” Calum crows, and Luke, startled, jolts upright. Dog Luke loses his balance and Luke only just manages to catch him from falling off the couch. 

“What the fuck, Calum, a little fucking warning,” Luke says, heart still pounding from the shock. “Jesus Christ.”

“You just called yourself Human Luke!” Calum says triumphantly, crossing to the couch and taking Dog Luke in his arms. “Hi, cutie. Did Human Luke finally accept his name?”

“That was conditional,” Luke feels it necessary to add. “I just don’t want to confuse the dog.”

“Oh, absolutely.” Calum grins. “You’re so full of shit, Luke. Human Luke.”

“I wasn’t talking to you! That was for the dog!”

“You were talking to Luke,” Calum sing-songs, “and you agreed to be called Human Luke, and I won’t ever forget about it, and am going to absolutely tell that story next time we get asked about Luke in an interview.”

“I hate you,” Luke announces loudly. “I hate you, I hate you, you’re the worst friend ever and I hate you —”

Calum just hands Dog Luke back to Luke, and Luke can’t very well be scathing while he’s holding about fifteen pounds of pure sweetness.

“You’re perfect,” Luke informs Dog Luke. “I forgive you. I will never forgive Calum, but that’s something that you and I are going to have to move past if we’re going to be friends.”

Calum laughs. 

[trustyourgutblog]

The One Where Sarah Goes Sober

Hi guys! Sarah here. This is my first official solo post on the blog. Given that it was my week to post and also the week I hit 90 days alcohol-free, I figured I’d write about that! 

Also, this title is definitely supposed to be a “Friends” reference. I’m currently attempting to convince Cassie that this should be our thing and I’m only half kidding. 

Last Summer, I read an intriguing Instagram post. It's pretty hippie-dippie, so stick with me through this part. @rawforhealth posted on Instagram a picture of a bubbly glass of some sort of alcohol with a caption on alcohol's spiritual effects - to sum up her post, here is the excerpt that really hit me: "In the words of writer and health enthusiast, #JasonChristoff – ‘In alchemy, alcohol is used to extract the soul essence of an entity. Hence its use in extracting essences for essential oils, and the sterilization of medical instruments. By consuming alcohol into the body, it in effect extracts the very essence of the soul, allowing the body to be more susceptible to neighboring entities most of which are of low frequencies (why do you think we call certain alcoholic beverages “SPIRITS?”). That is why people who consume excessive amounts of alcohol often blackout, not remembering what happened. This happens when the good soul (we were sent here with) leaves because the living conditions are too polluted and too traumatic to tolerate. The good soul jettisons the body, staying connected to a tether, and a dark entity takes the body for a joy ride around the block, often in a hedonistic and self-serving illogical rampage. Our bodies are cars for spirits. If one leaves, another can take the car for a ride. Essentially when someone goes dark after drinking alcohol or polluting themselves in many other ways, their body often becomes possessed by another entity.’”

I read it approximately 2 months after turning 21 and a little over a year since I'd gotten a fake ID that I used without restraint, to say the least. I've never had a drinking problem. Truly. I justified my drinking easily. I was a grown adult. I'd been paying my own rent for years, so clearly that justified some wine in the bathtub. Hell, maybe the whole bottle in the bathtub. My job is stressful. I work in social work. The end of hard days is often met with co-workers exclaiming "you deserve a drink tonight!" I was in college, this is what I was supposed to be doing. I was frustrated when I would go out to eat and they didn't have a full bar. Turning 21 was the permission slip I needed to order alcohol everywhere we went. Reading this Instagram post was the first time the idea of stopping drinking occurred to me. I quickly fell back on the excuse that I didn’t have a problem and forced the idea out of my head.

Sometime later, I stopped being able to handle my alcohol. Completely. I'd been off medications for several months, and to this day I wonder if the tolerances I'd built up while on anti-depressants (WHY was I drinking while on anti-depressants. Why, why, why former Sarah??) didn't quite translate. Even after a glass of wine, I would wake up incredibly anxious. Friends always teased me for "looking at a glass of wine and getting drunk”, my tolerance was so low. But this was terrible. I would wake up so anxious I'd cancel plans. Every night I drank ended in extreme nausea. But yet, I continued.

Around this time, a LOT of people entered my life who were abstaining from drinking. Some from a place of addiction, some from a place of mental health care, some from a place of physical health care, some from a place of spiritual care. I knew this was the Universe sending me a sign (or multiple signs - over and over). But I pushed it away, terrified of giving up this societal norm - the social lubricant that relaxed my anxious brain. I drank on first dates to ease my nerves, I drank to cope, I drank to celebrate, I drank when it was girl's night, I drank at the movies, I drank, I drank, I drank. Not inherently excessively, but too much for me.

Then I started yoga teacher training. During one of our first required readings, a Brené Brown book, she spoke of numbing. Of all the ways we as humans numb. She cited an example as simple as a man at work who could not stay off of social media - to the point he got fired. We as humans can numb so many ways - there are the commonly known ones: drugs, sex, alcohol, self-harm. There are the more socially acceptable ones: exercise, eating, social media, etc. As Brené Brown so wisely explains, “We cannot selectively numb emotions, when we numb the painful emotions, we also numb the positive emotions.”

Well, fuck.

As someone who spends A LOT of money and time managing my anxiety as naturally as possible, why was I still choosing alcohol? Why was I choosing numbing over feeling? Why was I preaching movement, vulnerability, stepping into the light, paying a lot of money, energy, and time to become a yoga teacher only to go home and numb with something that quite literally poisons my body? So I toyed with the idea of sobriety. I mentioned it to a few friends. I told myself I'd drink in moderation. Then shit went down in my life and I drank. I went to a wedding, got anxious and a little sad, and drank.

Here's a pretty important thing about me: I need accountability and no grey areas. I was never going to stop drinking by jokingly muttering the idea to my best friend in the middle of TJMaxx and then half-laughing it off. I was never going to stop drinking if I allowed myself any leeway.

So I continued toying. Then, last minute, in the bathroom of a wedding, at least three double vodka crans in, I texted our lead teacher for yoga teacher training. I changed my heart song to "Weak" by AJR. Then, I told my entire YTT cohort that I was not going to drink. And I haven't. For 90 days as of today - September 26th, 2019.

I struggle to talk about this. It's very very very important to me that I never make sobriety seem like a flippant or easy thing. I recognize and am grateful for the fact that I never had a "rock bottom" or was addicted. Going sober was a long decision, but ultimately, an easy one for me. I don’t know that I will never drink again. But I do know that going cold turkey was absolutely what I personally needed and that I am now better able to evaluate my true motives for drinking if I do decide to in the future. And let me be clear: I don’t think that everyone needs to be sober. I do think that as a society, we accept alcohol as such the norm and it’s important to recognize motivations, making saying “no�� acceptable, and be honest with ourselves.

[spellstcned]

                                                BLACK MAGIC

hallelujah panic! at the disco // 11 minutes yungblud ft. halsey // 100 bad days ajr // chemicals dean lewis // i’m like a lawyer with the way i’m always trying to get you off fall out boy // kill this love blackpink // wow. post malone // candy machine gun kelly // tell me i’m a wreck every avenue // the haunting set it off // lavender bones stand atlantic // tough luck felicity // bike scene taking back sunday // a favor house atlantic coheed and cambria // at your funeral saves the day // freaky tory lanez // sicko mode travis scott // youngblood five seconds of summer // golden god machine gun kelly // fuqboi hey violet // perfect one direction // a little less sixteen candles, a little more touch me fall out boy

the west witches are a very well known name in the supernatural community, as the blood line has been around for centuries, and their magic is said to come from the ‘original witch’ herself. however, it’s important to keep in mind that no one actually knows if that’s true or not. what is true, is the fact that remi definitely knows his shit. 

speaking of knowing his shit, the boy is highly educated when it comes to anything supernatural. he’s spent hours reading up on the world, educating himself on the different kinds of gods and monsters that are out there. he, also, wears reading glasses, btw.

despite being kicked out of his home at an early age, he does have a collection of magical artifacts. some belonged to his mother, which he straight up stole, and others he’s collected along the way. all of them are however, very valuable, and it’s a wonder he hadn’t hocked the fucking things yet. for whatever reason he keeps them, and no one really knows if its because he’s sentiment, greedy, or just stupid. 

remi speaks several different languages, as well as knows sign language. 

because of the time he and May spent living on the streets together, he has several scars. his mouth tends to get him in trouble, and while the boy can scrap just fine..no one wins every fight they get in. so, he’s also got a shit ton of interesting stories to go with them. 

he manipulated his way into his position as a resident, and he knows that this was a big risk to take, so he’s always just a touch defensive when questioned about the in depth hows, and why’s of his status in the town. 

he can play several instruments, as well as sing pretty well. usually, on a good night you can find him breaking out the acoustic guitar and doing a little fucking around. 

Remi has a very, VERY British accent. This is something that surprises a lot of people, and when he’s drunk it gets worse. Sometimes, only the people closest to him can understand what the fuck he’s actually saying , but that’s usually when he’s at peak white boy wasted status. 

CONNECTIONS:

Fourth of July: This is a past connection. Someone in his life that defines the whole “one that got away” thing.  If you’re looking for a little reference, fourth of july by fall out boy is a very good place to start. Essentially, they met and had time to connect at some point, but either he dipped out because things got a little too close for comfort, or he started to fall or them (which is entirely possible tbh), OR your muse was the one who left him (who would blame them, really). 

Backspace: This connection is someone who unravels the mystery of how he had weaseled his way into becoming a resident, and uses it to their advantage. Not only do they spend a good amount of time bribing him with it, as a taste of his own medicine, but they also eventually get bored or fed up with the entire thing and turn him in. He gets knocked back down to rescue, has to find himself a sponsor with the quickness - and swallow his pride while he does. 

For you, I will: While Remi has a bit of a problem being able to take care of himself, let alone anyone else, there is always someone, or something that can change that. This connection is the opposite of the above one, in the sense that it’s a rescue he meets and gets close to. Close enough to take the chance on becoming a sponsor, this could be to save them because they can’t find a sponsor on their own and are at risk of being kicked out - or this can be simply someone he wants to be with. Whatever, we can discuss the shits. 

Oh, Its you...again:  This connection is in relation to Remi’s past, where he and his cousin were part of a cult. Said cult ended up killing said cousin, so clearly they are a stand up group of people. But, either way I think someone from cult could be a little fun...the ones that survived, at least. That being said, you’d get a two for one with @pallor-m0rtis and I. 

Last but not least, like this and I will slide up in your personal space for some plotting or hurl a starter at you.

[thegreatwhiteferret]

87 Random Questions

I was tagged by @edwardtheloser because JJ just wants the world to burn. 💖💖💖

1. Where do you live? I currently live in Delaware...yeah, the tiny ass state everyone forgets about.

2. One cool item you own? I’m trying to think of something really deep and meaningful...I have a Texas charm with golden star on it that I wear with a cross on a chain around my neck and never take off. 

3. Moon or stars? The stars (High key one of the things I miss most about Texas)!

4. Places you’d like to travel to? Either to London or to Disney...both are related to Peter Pan for reasons.

5. Favorite song? I cannot possibly pick just one song...music is everything. Praying by Kesha has me all sorts of in the feels right now.

6. Do you have any fears? I am afraid of so many things. I am afraid of the dark, germs, going into anaphylaxis, letting people down, not being good enough...I should stop now, right?

7. Do you feel different than you did last year? I mean I guess. The past year has been really bad for me, but I’ve just recently started feeling really hopeful about the future.

8. What is your race? I am white as white can be. I’m 75% Canadian (25-British, 25-Irish, and 25-French with a bit of Native American mixed in) and then 25% mystery that is most likely German or Dutch. 

9. Pet peeves? People being assholes when they disagree with something and people smacking when they eat. (These two just stuck out, there are more, I’m petty as hell)

10. Any siblings? I have 3 sisters.

11. Are you a gamer? Only if The Sims and Dream Daddy count. Hand eye coordination is not there.

12. Sexual orientation? Pansexual Princess 

13. Does a broken mirror mean bad luck? I don’t know, but I will steer the fuck clear!

14. What do you feel is your mental age? Depends on the day. Sometimes I feel like I’m sixteen some days I feel like I’m forty. There is no consistency. 

15. How old were you when you started dating? My family was super strict, so no dating officially until after I went to college.

16. Where do you do most of your online shopping? Forever21 and Amazon.

17. Favorite animal? Bears

18. What’s one film from the 2000s that you like? Psssssh, so many. School of Rock and Mean Girls were my shit though.

19. What’s your favorite scary movie? IT. I am a scaredy cat, so the fact that I love this movie so much is amazing.

20. Fun fact about yourself? I convinced my 5th grade teacher that I had elaborately schemed to get rid of my baby sister when I was only three years old to avoid actually having to write a serious paper. I won a damn award for my story too.

21. Shoe size? 9.5 or a 10 in Women's. 

22. Which fictional character(s) do you relate to the most? Junie B. Jones. She’s a real hero of mine. (JK, Stanley Uris and I are one in the same).

23. Where do you see yourself living in ten years? Philly, Boston, or Chicago. I need some excitement in my life.

24. Ever wore clothes that were just wayyy too tight? I mean I wore a corset around just for the hell of it the either night so....

25. What’s on your mind? How many stories I have in my queue to write and the fact that I am not doing that right now...whoops.

26. Are you religious? I’d still identify as Christian, but I have a lot of questions. I also don’t believe in pushing your religion on people, that’s an asshole move.

27. How tall are you? 5’8″

28. Favorite band? HOW DO YOU EXPECT ME TO PICK ONE??? Jesus, I’m going to see AJR in a few weeks so let me give them a shoutout.

29. Do you remember 2009? Yes. It sucked.

30. Cats or dogs? DOGS! You can fight me on this one @edwardtheloser they are freaking flawless and amazing.

31. Fruit or vegetables? Por que no los dos??

32. Do you want to get married? Yes. That would be nice.

33. Do you want children? I DO. So so bad. It’s a problem.

34. Flamingos or peacocks? Meh. Birds. (Only difference between me and Stan tbh)

35. What superpower do you wish you had? Telekinesis or Shapeshifting.

36. Are you a germ freak? Yes. I have severe food allergies and I break out when I touch the allergens, so I kind of have to be. Also, people are gross.

37. Did swearing baby, ghost car, or ghost caught on tape scare you as a kid? I don’t know what any of these are...

38. Do you prefer sweet or salty? Por que no los dos?

39. Tea or coffee? Give me all of the non carbonated caffeine.

40. Are you superstitious? Yes. I knock on wood. I won’t walk under ladders or on cracks in the sidewalk. I do counting things as coping mechanisms. I’m so bad.

41. Do you like stripes? Sure, but plaid is better.

42. Favorite shows as a kid? The Big Comfy Couch, Rugrats, The Wiggles, Doug, Arthur, Zoom...I liked TV a lot.

43. Favorite shows growing up? Lizzie McGuire, Boy Meets World, That’s So Raven, Sabrina the Teenage Witch...again, I liked TV a lot.

44. Favorite musical? I LOVE MUSICALS. Hamilton, Hairspray, High School Musical, Rocky Horror, Annie. All of them. RENT is my absolute favorite though, I bawled my eyes out when I saw it live.

45. Favorite movie? Inglorious Basterds, IT, and Goonies.

46. Birthday? October 1st.

47. Are you a grammar Nazi? Yes. It kills me not to correct people.

48. Ever gotten drunk? Hahahahaha. Yes.

49. Do you have a carrier bag? I switch between a small backpack, a big satchel bag and a small hot pink cross body purse. As long as my epi pen and wipes fit, I’m good.

50. What would you do if you were the opposite gender for a day? Some very NSFW things...I’m not sorry.

51. If you were the opposite gender what would you change your name to? Oliver, Ollie for short.

52. What song is stuck in your head? The Kids Aren’t Alright by The Offspring

53. Celebrity crush? Hilary Knight, Taron Egerton, Chris Evans, Hayley Williams, Joe Keery...so many. I love all the people.

54. If you could live in a non-English speaking country, where would it be? Sweden

55. Are you a good dancer? I try...

56. Have any allergies? Gluten and Dairy. Deathly allergic and people think it’s just a diet fad smh...

57. Any bad habits? Procrastinating and shoving my feelings down.

58. Ever broke a bone? Yes. My mom broke my leg when I was three, we fell down the stairs and if she hadn’t pushed me behind her and landed on my leg I would have gone head first into a brick wall. My mommy saved my life. 💖

59. Are you a city or country person? Both. I like the feel of the country with the convenience of the city.

60. Do you like your home country? United States of Go Fuck Yourself

61. Sunflowers or daisies? Sunflowers 

62. Tulips or roses? Tulips, they remind me of living in the Netherlands as a kid.

63. Oak or maple? Maple. I’m Canadian, eh.

64. Disney or Nickelodeon? BOTH! I WILL NOT CHOOSE!

65. WYR be obese or anorexic? I’m in recovery for both anorexia and bulimia and have been since I was twelve years old, body dysmorphia since I was seven because I’ve been overweight my entire life, and this question can go fuck itself. Jesus fucking Christ. Those are serious issues not choices. Fuck.

66. WYR be over 6 feet or under 5 feet? Under 5 feet, I hate being tall.

67. Rubies or sapphires? Sapphires

68. Are you stubborn? I am so stubborn that it hurts.

69. Have you been in scouts/Girl Scouts? Yes! And I loved it.

70. What type of music do you listen to? Everything. I love music.

71. Favorite vine? Uhmmmm...I was never into vines...sorry.

72. Beaches or castles? Castles. Real life Disney Princess y’all!

73. Pick the closest book to you, and write the line you opened to:

"I mean, a superhero. My heart almost squeezes to a stop. Blue loves superheroes.” -Simon vs. The Homo Sapiens Agenda

74. Anyone in the same room as you right now? Yup. My mama and the dogs. Pip is sleeping on my lap.

75. Which is worse; throwing up or diarrhea? I mean I don’t love either...

76. Butterflies or lady bugs? I don’t like bugs...butterflies qualify as well. 

77. Do you say “K” when you’re not mad? I never do this, because I am so cautious of how others will feel from it. You can’t take back hurt feelings.

78. How do you react when purposely scare you? I usually have some form of anxiety attack. My sister has made me cry and panic just from making me watch a YouTube video...I’m easy to scare guys.

79. Most overrated celebrity? Every Kardashian except for Khloe, I love her.

80. Do you have a globe in your room? No, I have a print of the world, but that would be so cool!

81. Do you have a dream catcher in your room? No, this would also be cool.

82. What do you see when you look out your window? Well it’s nighttime now so darkness.

83. Have you been on an airplane? Yes, I’ve been flying since I was a month old.

84. Do you believe in aliens? Yes. It’s stupid to think that we are alone in the universe.

85. Do you believe in ghosts? Absolutely. I don’t fuck with spirits, all respect.

86. Do you believe in God? I believe in a higher power, and I do still have faith in the Christian God, but I do have so many questions.

87. Do you believe in yourself? I’m working on it, y’all. That’s all I can say.

I am tagging randomly because I don’t know who has done this yet... @billbenbev @its-reddie-bitch @not-reddie @theriodiaries @demianhill @dannybriereisaliferuiner @thebroadstreetdarling @milagric and whoever else would like to do this, consider yourselves tagged! 💖💖💖💖💖

[sunsetsgod]

solar system, mars, saturn, neptune

solar system: driving force behind your good deeds? uh i think i just do it. because you know, if you can make someone or something’s life a bit better even for a short time, then that’s good enough. i mean i’m sure sometimes i have ulterior motives but usually it’s just… make someone else happy and help them and try and keep them as happy as you can which isn’t always easy but sometimes knowing that someone’s trying and is willing to try makes all the difference. i just want people to be happy and that in no way really needs to be associated with me. i’m pretty sure i’m that background character that you have a conversation with at like 1-2 AM and they help you, like, realize your purpose, or keep your will to live, or give you the means to escape from a bad situation, or something like that, and then you never see them again. and honestly? i’m totally fine with that. i’m just glad i was able to help.

mars: do you believe in life on other planets? hell yeah i do it’s totally out there and some prominent life forms include the iron aliens, their cousins the jewel aliens, the dark matter monsters [who killed off the other metal aliens, the assholes], and whatever probably lives under the ice on that one moon of saturn. [enceladus? titan?]

saturn: favourite song? so this is weird because mars, saturn, and neptune are all sleeping at last songs and good ones too. whatever. i don’t really have a favorite song because there are so many factors that go into that and yeah. but some that are deffo up there are: ‘west coast’ or ‘slowly’ by coconut records, ‘rainbow connection’ by i’m not sure, but sleeping at last does a cover, so, ‘midnight on the interstate’ by trampled by turtles, ‘january wedding,’ ‘the perfect space,’ ‘talk on indolence,’ or ‘famous flower of manhattan’ by the avett brothers, ‘winter sound’ or ‘organs’ by of monsters and men, ‘turning out’ by ajr, ‘ribs’ or ‘green light’ by lorde, ‘i’ll follow you into the dark’ by death cab for cutie, ‘falling slowly’ from the Once soundtrack, ‘suburbia’ by troye sivan, the list goes on and on and on and tbh, those are just some of my recently played.

neptune: favourite music genre? whoo boy. well i have some that is like folk-bluegrass-indie and then there’s alternative and then there’s french pop [thanks seb] and then there’s the random rock-type stuff and then oooh composers and soundtracks and general semi-pop-alternative kinda things and then the chill more acoustic stuff which is also maybe alternative so i think generally it’s alternative but more like alternative via several sub-genres that are all over the place and it’s confusing and fucking weird and yeah

[patrocool]

Do all the questions :)

1) Put your iTunes on shuffle. Give me the first 6 songs that pop up.You're Welcome- MoanaSpacebridge- STARFORCESeize the Day- NewsiesImmigrants (We Get the Job Done)- K'naanEverything I Know- In the HeightsMore Than Survive- Be More Chill2) If you could meet anyone on this earth, who would it be?Hnnn, like in person? Nass3) Grab the book nearest to you, turn to page 23, give me line 17.“I really need to teach you French enough to explain that properly.”4) What do you think about most?Musicals, probably. Sorry, y'all.5) Ever had a poem or song written about you?Ha, as if6) Do you have any strange phobias?Elevators and firepoles.7) What's your religion?Atheist I guess? I'm.8) If you are outside, what are you most likely doing?Probably going inside.9) Simple but extremely complex. Favorite band?Ahhhhhhhhhhh, probably AJR?10) What was the last lie you told?Shit, idk11) Do you believe in karma?Kind of12) What does your URL mean?Its a pun. Patroclus, my favorite Greek hero, but instead of "clus" its "cool".13) What is your greatest weakness; your greatest strength?Hmmmm, musicals are my weakness, but also my strength.14) Who is your celebrity crush?:( im aromantic15) How do you vent your anger?Bottle it up:)16) Do you have a collection of anything?Yes17) Are you happy with the person you've become?Lmaooooo hell no18) What's a sound you hate; sound you love?Hate: screams of childrenLove: the silence after the children stop screaming19) What's your biggest "what if"?What if I hadnt absorbed my twin in the womb?20) Do you believe in ghosts? How about aliens?Yes and yes21) Stick your right arm out; what do you touch first? Do the same with your left arm.Couch. More couch.22) Smell the air. What do you smell?My dogs are wet:/23) What's the worst place you have ever been to?Nebraska/Iowa24) Most attractive singer/s of your opposite gender?Hnnn, idk, Kara Lindsey is pretty, those girls who played the girl newsies are pretty too, I cant remember their names25) To you, what is the meaning of life?4226) Do you drive? If so, have you ever crashed?Yes, no27) What was the last movie you saw?I just saw Coco on Wednesday and it was amazing!!!28) What's the worst injury you've ever had?I had to get 6 stitches in my knee after falling down a hill.29) Do you have any obsessions right now?Newsies.30) Ever had a rumor spread about you?The girls soccer team in middle school hated me and would constantly bully and exclude me bc they all said I was a lesbian.31) Do you tend to hold grudges against people who have done you wrong?Yes.32) What is your astrological sign?Cancer33) What's the last thing you purchased?Popcorn at the movies.34) Love or lust?:/ im aro ace35) In a relationship?See above36) How many relationships have you had?Idk37) What is your secret weapon to get someone to like you?I dont have a secret weapon. I just hope.38) Where is your best friend?I have several best friends39) What were you doing last night at 12 AM?Watching Brooklyn 9940) Are you the kind of friend you would want to have as a friend?Idk, I think so? I'd probably annoy myself.41) You are walking down the street on your way to work. There is a dog drowning in the canal on the side of the street. Your boss has told you if you are late one more time you get fired. What do you do?Fuck the job, I'm saving the dog42) You are at the doctor’s office and she has just informed you that you have approximately one month to live. a) Do you tell anyone/everyone you are going to die? b) What do you do with your remaining days? c) Would you be afraid?A) I would tell all the people that matter bc they deserve to know, b) whatever I have the money to do, c) yes and no43) What's a song that always makes you happy when you hear it?Sober Up - AJR44) In your opinion, what makes a great relationship?Idk, communication?45) How can I win your heart?:(46) Can insanity bring on more creativity?Yeah47) What is the single best decision you have made in your life so far?Idk, probably going to my current school48) What would you want to be written on your tombstone?"The body ain't here, bitch"49) Give me the first thing that comes to mind when you hear the word "heart."Blood50) Basic question; what's your favorite color/colors?Blue and red51) What is your current desktop picture?I dont have a computer52) If you could press a button and make anyone in the world instantaneously explode, who would it be?The grown up annoying orange, of course.53) What would be a question you'd be afraid to tell the truth on?Idk man54) You accidentally eat some radioactive vegetables. They were good, and what's even cooler is that they endow you with the super-power of your choice! What is that power?Unlimited wealth! Of be able to help so many fucking people55) You can re-live any point of time in your life. The time-span can only be a half-hour, though. What half-hour of your past would you like to experience again?Idk:/56) You can erase any horrible experience from your past. What will it be?I'd make sure my dad's new wife never fucking touched my sister. 57) You have the opportunity to sleep with the music-celebrity of your choice. Who would it be?I'm ace58) You just got a free plane ticket to anywhere. You have to depart right now. Where are you gonna go?To Nass!!59) Ever been on a plane?Yes60) Give me your top 5 hottest celebrities.Uh idk, anyone on the newsies cast I guess?

[iceripperthethird]

I guess tag time?

Rules: Respond the 92 questions and tag 25 persons. I wasn’t actually tagged, but I’m pretending I was 

Last

1.Drink: Half Dr Pepper half Cherry Pepsi

2.Phone call: Pocket dial from an ex doesn’t count, so facetime with a long distance friend that kept getting disconnected

3.Text: “Because it’s stuck in my head, but that’s kinda my fault cuz I keep listening to the same song over and over and over and over and over again”

4.Song listened to: Three-Thirty by AJR

5.Time you cried: About three hours ago

Have you ever:

6. Dated someone twice: Hell naw. Don’t know think I’d ever take any of them back tbh

7. Been cheated on: Nope.

8. Kissed someone and regretted it: Um... no. Not that I can think of.

9. Lost someone special: Lots of times.... 

10. Been depressed: Yeah.... but I’m trying

11. Gotten drunk and thrown up: Nope. Just got spacey as fuck after a shot and half a cosmo and a screwdriver

List 3 fav. colors:

12. Purple

13. Blue

14. Idk, black I guess

In the last year have you:

15. made new friends: Probably

16. fallen in love: I’ve loved but I don’t think I’ve been In Love

17. laughed until you cried: Tons of times :D

18. found out someone was talking about you: Unfortunately

19. met someone who’s changed you: I don’t know...??

20. found out who your true friends are: Yep.

21. kissed someone on your Facebook list: Uhhh... *checks friends list* No.

22. how many Facebook friends do you know in real life: All of them except one, who happens to be a mutual

23. do you have any pets: Unfortunately, no :(

24. do you want to change your name: Nah

25. what did you do for your last birthday: Did a shot with the fam and went to the bar with my (then) boyfriend, then spent the night at his house afterword

26. what time did you wake up: 6:45am because fuck my life, that’s why

27. what were you doing at midnight last night: Growing frustrated with the aforementioned long distance friend’s wifi because our facetime kept getting disconnected

28. name something you cannot wait for: I don’t know, something amazing, I guess...

29. when was the last time you saw your mother: We’re literally sitting in the same room right now? 

30. what is one thing you would change about your life: I wish I didn’t have to deal with depression and anxiety as much

31. what are you listening to right now: Sober Up by AJR (my favorite song right now)

32. have you ever talked to a person named Tom: Yep. My godmother’s ex husband’s uncle (or cousin or family friend or something) brings his poker chips and dice to family gatherings and everyone chips in a dollar and we play Left Right Center and whoever wins gets the money. It gets really intense sometimes, and there was one time we crowded 20 people around the dining room table. 

33. Something that is getting on your nerves: I don’t know... Kind of everything, really

34. Most visited website: Tumblr, youtube, and facebook

35. funniest memory: That one time @piper-rory and I got into shenanigans in English class. We got away with so much shit that we shouldn’t have, and to this day I have no idea how.

36. memory from school: “Big S-curve,” “THE BEAT OF THE MUSIC COMES FROM My LOINS,” and basically anything else that came from band class. Also “Slutty olive oil,” “clear as a diamond at Tiffany’s” and “Carbonated piss” from Environmental Science

37. memories you want to make: I want to go on Hobbit-style adventures and have fun and make friends and I want to go to Disney World and I want to go to the Indiana Dunes again and I want to go on a road trip 

38. natural hair color: Too light to be brown but too dark to be blonde, with too much red to actually decide one way or the other

39. long or short hair: Long, but not long enough. When it’s sopping wet and being pulled as straight as it can get, it’s down to the bottom of my rib cage, but I’m growing it out in hopes that I can get it down to my hips.

40. do you have a crush on someone: Ahhh... residual love from a fresh breakup, and beyond that... I mean, there’s a cute guy that I’m friends with, but at this exact moment, that’s it.

41. what do you like about yourself: I have good curves and awesome legs and sometimes I say stuff that makes sense 

42. piercings: Just my earlobes, but sometimes I like wearing ear cuffs 

43. blood type: Fuck if I know 

44. nickname: I don’t really have one, but my D&D character’s name is Mnemosyne (nim-AH-zen-ee) 

45. relationship status: Freshly single and more bothered by it that I like to admit.

46. zodiac sign: By the traditional star chart, Libra. Mathematically correct, Virgo. Chinese, rat. Native American, raven. 

47. pronouns: She/her. Cuz I’m boring.

48. favourite tv show: Avatar: The Last Airbender. 

49. tattoos: No, thank you.

50. left or right handed: Left

First:

51. Surgery: It’s not something I like to talk about, so if you want to know about it, feel free to send me an ask (but please not anon because, well... I’m still self conscious about it even though it was like... 10 or 11 years ago)

52. Piercing: As previously stated, just my earlobes.

53. Best Friend: Don’t really have one at the moment, but if I had to pick, I’d say either the D&D group or MiniMads

54. Sport: Marching band and show choir all throughout high school, track in 6th and 7th grade

55. Vacation: My grandparents owned a lake house in Michigan that we went to all the time when I was growing up

56. Pair of trainers: Black high top Converse, black low top knock off Converse, black slide on fuzzums, black knee high boots. Basically all of my shoes are fucking black.

57. Favourite snack: Ice cream.

58. Drink you hate: Mountain Dew is fucking disgusting

59. I’m about to: Probably go to bed tbh 

60. I’m listening to: Basically anything and everything you can find on this youtube channel here because I love this band to death they are my absolute favorite

61. Waiting for: I don’t know... something amazing, I guess. 

62. Wanting: A trip to Disney World

63. Get married: I don’t know, tbh.

64. Career: Something that won’t make me miserable.

Your type:

65. hugs or kisses: Cuddles and kisses both

66. lips or eyes: Eyes, but soft kissable lips are nice too

67. Shorter or Taller: Taller than me

68. Older or Younger: Either, as long as it’s a reasonable age difference either way

69. Romantic or Spontaneous: Spontaneous romantic.

70. Nice arms or nice stomach: As long as they’re able to give good hugs, I don’t think I really care

71. Sensitive or Loud: Sensitive and able to communicate

72. Hook-up or relationship: Hookups are fun until you get attached, but relationships are stressful when you’re not good at them. So... relationship

73. Trouble maker or hesitant: Hesitant at first but as soon as you cross me, I can and will make your life hell.

Have you ever:

74. Kissed a Stranger: No. And I don’t plan to.

75. Drank hard liquor: All I had on my 21st birthday was vodka. 

76. Lost glasses/contacts:  No???? That shit’s expensive, why the fuck wouldn’t I keep track of it????

77. Turned someone down: Yes. Quite a few times.

78. Had sex on first date: HELL NO

79. Broken someone’s heart: Yeah, but they broke mine first, so they had it coming.

80. Had your heart broken: Several times.

81. Been arrested: No. I might be reckless, but I’m not that crazy. 

82. Cried when someone died: Everyone does???

83. Fallen for a friend: Yeah.... and then he switched schools and told me it wouldn’t work between us and dated one of my best friends who went to the same school as me and then when they broke up he ended up with another girl that I haven’t met in person but we’re mutuals and I think they’re still together but either way I don’t really care because I just want him to be happy.

Do you believe in:

84. Yourself: Most days, yeah

85. Miracles: I haven’t really thought about it, but my chronically single long distance friend managed to get laid, so I guess that counts as a miracle?

86. Love at first sight: No. It is statistically improbable.

87. Santa Claus: Yeah, it’s a town in Indiana. All joking aside though, I believe Santa Claus is the spirit of Christmas. It’s the holiday cheer and spreading joy and the little adrenaline rush of giving presents. It’s the sparkle of Christmas lights reflecting off tinsel and it’s trees in the front window. Santa Claus isn’t a person, but everyone has a bit of Santa Claus in them

88. Kiss on first date: My (now ex) boyfriend and I made out for 4 and a half ours after our first date. 

89. Angels: Yeah, but they’re really complicated

90. Current best friends name: @doctordetectivewinchester @vengeance-is-sworn @a-girl-in-a-place and MiniMads

91. eye color: Green

92. fav movie: Wonder Woman, Howl’s Moving Castle, Castle in the Sky, basically anything Studio Ghibli, and anything Disney.

I hereby tag everyone who’s already been tagged in this post, as well as @vampireapologist cuz all I know about her is that she’s eaten poison ivy and somehow lived to tell the tale. And you know, anyone else who’s actually read this far. 

[clumsyclifford]

"come fucking talk to me" is the type of energy I respond best to <3. YES ofc I love AJR, if the fandom for them was more active/ existed at all, you best believe I would have dived in as wholeheartedly as I have for 5sos. I genuinely love The Click so much, it's kind of concerning. Their lyrics are just... something else, really. Like the way they feel so... normal? everyday? but still sound so good? TALENT! However, if I do have to make a criticism, it'd be that I can't STAND the phrase (1/?)

"no grass today", like I know I've said that it's one of my favorite songs of theirs, and IT IS, but I just do NOT like that phrase. They had their drive-in concert yesterday and I wanted to go SO badly, but Philly's just too far :(. And, continuing yesterday's conversation, OBVIOUSLY I wasn't reading Drarry or dramione who do you think I am?? most of the hp fic I read is marauder-centric (bc sirius/remus is the only ship I actually care about from hp) so this one was like following them (2/?)

throughout their years at hogwarts. it's actually 500k, not 400, and not :) completed :) yet :))), but it's so detailed and well-executed. it's called "the lost generation" by Jennbob on ao3, and while I can't, in good conscience, recommend starting a 500k uncompleted fic, it's just SO. GOOD. like, if it was published as a prequel series I wouldn't bat an eye. And NO, def not a snape apologist, sorry to your mom but that's just a no. Thankfully, I did pass out for thirteen hours (3/??)

a little while after sending that ask, so things are back to normal. reading back over that ask, I am also a bit confused as to what was happening, but I guess what most people are like when they're drunk is me with several days of not sleeping. anyways, how are you? how was your day? what's happening w ur college reopening? mine has the first two weeks online and I have a five hour chem block first thing on Monday so hate that. I always feel bad sending long asks I'm sorryyy, xoxo, arbor day

LEGEND i wouldve sent asks to you but you do not have anon on so i had to summon you to me instead <3

MATE let’s literally kick off an ajr fandom you be president ill be vp god i love ajr so hard you fucking NAILED it like......best way i can say it is that their lyrics feel like reading someone’s diary. or possibly someone’s mind. like it really feels like listening to somebody monologue but in such an interesting way like the stuff they make music about and the stuff they talk about it’s just such unflinching sincerity i am in love with it literally three-thirty hits me so hard every lyric of that song is a new punch to the teeth and dont even get me started on turning out

that is fair i dont mind it because to me it just kinda blends into the whole song as like a chant but you’re right it’s kinda weird on its own i respect that opinion. have to agree tho that song slaps like you wanna hit that’s your choice, but please enjoy the show !!! :))) thanks ajr i respect u and ONLY u

god yeah i kinda wish i couldve gone to that also though ive just been holding out on all the quarantine pseudo-concert stuff and am waiting patiently for Real Concerts to start back up again saving my money for the Real Experience like i cant even imagine the power of seeing ajr live. my sister’s boyfriend is visiting this week and he’s a HUGE ajr fan (he got my sister into them, who subsequently got me into them) and he got these vip tickets to neotheater tour that let him play dodgeball with ajr backstage like HOW WICKED IS THAT wish that were me i really do

FIVE HUNDRED THOUSAND WORDS jesus holy fucking hell that is far too many and it’s INCOMPLETE?????? christ almighty okay i respect the hell outta you for reading that i could never. i could NEVER. and yes ok you may stay this blog is a snape apologist-free zone 

i am very relieved to hear that you slept that is good to know thank god you really needed it. i am alright!! im cross w my dad right now which he either doesn’t know or is pretending not to know but he’s also just gone to bed and i’m sure by tomorrow i’ll have forgotten that i’m trying to be mad at him so. that’s all that’s up w me to be honest i have a maybe-interview at starbucks tomorrow we’ll see

FIVE HOUR CHEM BLOCK jesus CHRIST i am so sorry. even if you like chem that is far too much chem. my college is reopened but my state has a travel advisory over it so i can’t go back until they lift it so im staying home taking all my classes online in the meantime which all my classes except for one are online ANYWAY so it’s not a huge deal but i really really miss my roommate and i am sad that she will have to be living alone until they lift the travel restrictions (if they ever do, which. no idea) so..........yeah i am not vibing super hard tbh