#wannabe charlotte

[skyblueartt]

Whatre my hobbies? Why, drawing Charlie and Elizabeth from Fnaf lore if they got to grow up saying quotes from the show Smiling Friends, of course!

Idk why I like making Charlie a grunge 90s teen. Why not!

[sharkinaberet]

The new season of the traitors uk is fucking banging. Charlotte's baffling fake Welsh accent, the least subtle traitor acting I've ever seen from two of our trio of wannabe girlbosses, Linda eyeballing Claudia and the camera at every opportunity, Armani's sister immediately being suspicious because her vibes are off, Minah's very thinly veiled exasperation in the turret, gay veteran Leanne pretending to be a nail technician for no discernable reason, Elen being so bad at the challenge they thought she was sabotaging it, handsome doctor Kas who is definitely too smart for his own good, Freddie's inexplicable cutaway shower scene, Keith slagging off his wife's cooking on national TV then writing "Nather" on his slate and getting instantly murdered, this is literally peak television. In Claudia we trust.

[theresattrpgforthat]

Hello Mint!

I discovered roleplaying through Lancer, and it made me love tactics with a little emergent behavior (with the occasional surprise super silly combo), the sort we also have in some tactical puzzle games like into the breach or tactical breach wizards. Do you know some tactical RPGs with combat that can almost feel like puzzles at times

THEME: Combat with Puzzles.

Hello friend! I think I have some solid recommendations here, but don't sleep on what I've already written about! You can check out some other recommendation posts at the bottom of this.

Celestial Bodies, by Charlotte Laskowski @binarystargames.

Adrift Among the Bodies of the Dead

For a generation after the calamity, the infinite dark between the stars felt cramped, crowded by refugees on ships meant for fewer people and shorter trips.  In the second generation, those who survived in their home-ships now cannibalized the metal skeletons of the less fortunate ships.  The third generation did not just expand their ships; they expanded their mecha and their operations. They fled to farther stars — populations in space stations and on surfaces booming as quickly as lives were lost in petty disputes.  The fourth generation discovered the Titans. No probe had yet reached these dead gods whose frozen bodies spanned hundreds of miles across. You are the fifth generation.

Celestial Bodies uses an inventory system that feels similar to Mausritter; you have to fit your weapons and other gear inside a grid in order to carry everything. Your “puzzle’ involves constructing your mech to work effectively in battle according to the strategy you prefer. You’re also tracking resources gained and resources used; it seems like you have to keep fighting in order to get access to the things that keep you going.

Ultraviolence Radiation, by KintaroTPC.

Ultraviolence Radiation (UVR) is an experiment in action.

Deflect bullets with a knife! Grab a guy and use him as a weapon against another guy! Take a smoke break in the middle of a hail of gunfire! Get your revenge and look cool doing it.

Featuring 100 enemies with unique Intros, Attacks and special things they do when they die! 28 Abilities to make the action hero you want to play! A rule set which takes inspiration from Beat-Em-Up arcade games and applied them to the Tabletop genre.

In Ultraviolence Radiation, one person is a player, while everyone else at the table plays the baddies. The fighter can’t use moves that draw from the same stat back-to-back; a limitation that points towards having to think carefully about what you’re going to do. There are also moves that have cooldown limitations; you can’t spam the same move, but rather have to time everything to make sure you still have access to good options. Additionally, the fighter has access to passive moves, which have no cooldown, and in some cases, might be consistently in effect. They also have interrupt moves, which can be used outside of your turn. This gives you a fairly complex list of options to choose from, which I think is an integral piece to a good combat game.

Mutation, by OneFootWall Games.

The World as we know it has changed. Two centuries from now a comet strikes Earth. This hunk of interstellar rock was an attack by some Klendathu wannabes. “Goddamn bugs whacked us, Johnny.”

It wasn’t really a comet or meteor, or even an asteroid. It was a seed bomb for terraforming sent by some alien species. This thing detonated a mile up over the Florida Keys and scattered radiation, some kind of bio-gel, and spores around the globe. It wiped out 80% of life on the surface. And we never even got to see the damn aliens…

The world was a little weird and quiet after that. But like Dr Ian Malcom in Jurassic Park says, “Life, uh, finds a way.”

A 3d6 system with a reasonable amount of crunch, distance matters in Mutation, and turns have an action economy. This plus the attacks, talents, psychic powers, skills, and gear which all constitute your character mean that you have a number of different distinct tools that can be used to overcome obstacles, especially in combat. Your character also has the opportunity to inflict and also take different conditions; having different ways to affect and damage your opponent feels like another layer of tactical precision to me.

There is a free quickstart if you want to take a peek behind the curtain before you buy.

Thrones and Threads, by OpalBreeze Games.

Throughout the land, warlords hire mercenary champions to try and dethrone one another. Once hired, these champions don cloth adornments embroidered with threads of vibrant colours that signify their allegiance. Endowed with formidable power, champions are tasked with cutting through enemy lines and destroying fortified strongholds until no obstacles remain between their forces and the enemy throne.

Thrones and Threads is a role-playing battle arena based on Songs and Sagas, product of Fari RPGs, developed and authored by René-Pier Deshaies-Gélinas.

This game comes with 5 pregenerated characters and feels very much like an arena battle; combat is front and centre. Each character has a special move that makes them unique, and many of their traits are determined by different sizes of dice. Because each character has flavoured ways of using their stats, if you are inventive in how you describe your characters’ actions, you’ll likely be able to play to your strengths.

Strike Force Omega, by potatocubed.

It is the far future. Humanity spreads across the galaxy. Led by a council of corporate interests, the Imperial Core reaps the benefits of plunder and exploitation on an unimaginable scale, teeming trillions of human beings kept docile by mass media and the never-ending war against every other sentient species humanity has encountered.

You were a soldier in that war. Not one of the grunts, given basic training and a gun and shoved towards the enemy, although you might have started there. No, you were part of Strike Force Omega. Omega, because you ended things. Given the best training and equipment, remade by your corporate masters into a terrifying god of war, and expected to achieve the impossible on a regular basis. Which you did.

Until you got out.

But war has found you, even here. Not all the threats in the corp newsrooms are overstated.

The people of these worlds are frightened, but they will defend their homes against the oncoming tides – and they will fail and they will die. Even in their millions they cannot win.

Unless…

War is what you were made for, after all. You’ve killed and destroyed for far worse causes than this, so why not take up arms one more time and maybe try to claw back a little part of your soul?

LUMEN is generally a great system for strategic combat, all about creating combos that make you feel powerful and effective. Strike Force Omega is a setting that allows you to play with both magic and technology, and it includes 6 sample campaigns, one for each enemy faction written for the setting. Since the lore and world-building is built in, your characters already have a strong reason for fighting, something that sometimes I struggle to put together in Lancer.

demon blade ultimate, by Peach Garden Games.

Take up your Demon Blade and do battle against the oppression of the imperial army, put an end to the shaded cities, and bring the people of the undercity back to the sunlight.

Demon Blade Ultimate uses the Arts Grid, a character creation and power system pioneered in the legendary Horse Girl Infinity by Jordan Cuddlefish. Choose powers from the grid, unleash powerful summoning magic, and know that nothing is truly beyond your reach.

The grid system in Demon Blade involves choosing three powers on a grid. The spaces between the thing you want to do and the thing you are good at determines the difficulty of an action. Advancement allows you to increase your strengths, making you more powerful as you play.

This game takes a lot from shounen battle anime, so expect narratives about striving to improve yourself until you can vanquish the evil that threatens your people.

Other Recommendations:

Loot, by Gila RPGs.

My Dragoon Recommendation Post.

Fantasy With Tools Recommendation Post

Weapons & Weapon Customization Recommendation Post

Spatial Puzzle Recommendations

Combat Recommendations

If you like what I do and want to leave a tip, you can always stop by my Ko-Fi page.

[goldenamaranthe-blog]

Band AU: Hazbin Hotel

Because there's always a band AU.

-666 News Broadcast Theme Plays through the dive bar cafe from the small, flickering TV in the corner-

Katie Killjoy: Breaking News in the Pop industry today! Our sunshine and rainbows, Mandy Moore wannabe, and Princess of Hell, Charlotte Morningstar, has come out with a new music video to help promote a brand new album that appears to have been conjured up seemingly overnight.

Angel: Hey, Vagina! (Elbows Vaggie) Ain't that your girl crush from the open band night down at Husk's Casino two months ago?

Vaggie: (chokes on her coffee) What?! Turn it up, Jackass!

Angel: (steals the remote from across the bartop and turns up the TV)

Tom Trench: And, boy howdy, this makeover is on par with most Disney child stars diving off the deep end!

Katie Killjoy: (spears a pen through Tom's hand) No one gives a shit Tom.

Tom Trench: MY HAND!!!

Katie Killjoy: Spectators and fans of our usually diabetically sweet princess feel that this sudden shift is caused by her breakup with Seviathan Von Eldritch just last month, ending the royal arranged engagement, after he mentioned how she refused to "put out" before marriage in an interview with Hell's High Class Weekly.

Vaggie: (bristles) The douchebag....

Katie Killjoy: Let's watch as our lovely princess makes her breakdown public.

-Screen shifts to Charlie holding a mic in one hand while picking a guitar in another, wearing 2000's Avril Lavigne glam rock attire (hot pink, baggy cargo pants, black leather studded belt, rainbow converse, black leather wrist bands, grey tank top with two black goats faced just the right way so their curved horns make a heart and tied together with a rainbow knot, and a black and red stripped tie) Razzle and Dazzle are playing drums and bass-

Charlie: Don't you know that IIIIIIIII- (flips off the camera and sticks out her tongue while mouthing "Fuck you, Seviathan" as the song reaches its climax) I don't give a daaaaaaaamn about you!!! I won't give it up, not for you!!! I'm not gonna cry about some stupid guy. A guy who thinks he's all that!

Vaggie: Whoa! (Big smiles like when Adam got stabbed) Get it, Charlie!

Katie Killjoy: (as the screen returns to normal) Other songs on the album include "Behind These Crimson Eyes", "The Dick Who Blocked His Own Shot", "Smack a Bitch", "Since U Been Gone", and the gay community's rabid favorite "Dear Vaggie"-

Angel: (sucking down his third popsicle for breakfast) What now?

Vaggie: WHAT?!?!?!?!

Katie Killjoy: -The obviously plagiarized parody of "Cool for the Summer" by Demi Lovato has unsubtle lesbian and bisexual overtones that specifically mentions Vaggie "the Steel Vagina". The lead singer and guitarist of the Power/Grunge Metal band, Fallen Angels

Angel: (wheezes as he laughs breathlessly and falls off his stool)

Vaggie: (steaming) Angel!!! ¡Eres un chupapollas, hijo de puta! Why would you tell the news that was my name?!

Angel: (ugly walrus gasps and giggles) Because it's better than I ever dreamed!!!!

Katie Killjoy: Fans of both artists are absolutely frothing at the mouth to see what Vaggie's response will be.

Tom Trench: Frothing at the mouth and other orifices, if you catch my drift. (Gets a pen slammed into his balls) GaaAhaHaaaaHaha!

Katie Killjoy: More on this story tonight at eleven.

Vaggie:

Angel: Soooooo~ Whatcha wanna doooooo~?

Vaggie: We're going to Tune Town, getting a copy of that album-

Angel: Ooooooooh-hohohoooooh~ I can visit dat nice glory hole they got there.

Vaggie: -THEN!!! We are going back to the apartment and making a response single.

Angel: Do you know what you even want to put in it?

Vaggie: (slipping on her jacket) I'll figure it out after listening to the album!

[sknnyvanilla]

The Chic Diet by kit olsen

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Diets

The Baby Food Diet

Ohmigod, tell me more, right? Enter: the Baby Food Diet.

You don't have to chew anything since the blender did that for you. Portion control won't be an issue either since all of the stores carry single-servings with really low calorie counts. And, like, I guess that babies need clean and well-rounded food or something because, like, all of the ingredients are things that you've heard before and are actually good for you. It's like a juice fast, but with a little more substance and a little less lawnmower drippings. But, like, waaay more affordable, so you can use all of the money that you save on some flavored Pedialyte, which is really just like a zero-calorie coconut water.

Plus, thanks to all of the crazy and demanding yoga mommies decked out in Lululemon with their obscenely expensive strollers, Whole Foods has really upped their game in the baby food aisle. There's seriously a flavour for whatever type of mood that you might be in so don't even worry about the lack of variety. It's like chic girl heaven. Make sure you get there early though, so you won't have to fight with the colicky toddler in the Missoni Bugaboo over the last "zucchini banana & amaranth."

Ella's Kitchen and Plum Organics are good for your basic blends of fruits and vegetables, but I swear that the marketing team at Earth's Best was targeting chic/orthorexic adults when naming their product lines. "Antioxidant Blends?" "Super Fruits?" "Gourmet Meals and Seasonal Harvest?" Um, yea, okay. Like 6 month olds care about that kind of shit.

So, apparently, Tracy Anderson (bless her heart) suggests that one should consume 14 jars per day. Um, no. It's not like we're headed into famine or something. A couple of jars or pouches should suffice and, even then, you should be watching your carb intake. That means NO all-fruit blends, you fat fuck. Make sure to pick vegetable-heavy varieties, though those can be sugarific also. I mean, even "spinach + apple + rutabagas" has 8 grams of carbs after adjusting for fibre. Ugh. Who knew that babies were such sugar whores? It's just, like, really unfair for all of the other customers who are trying to watch their figures.

Take a good look at Abbey Lee Kershaw and Hedi Slimane. See their jutting cheekbones and bulging eyeballs? Yours can totally be like that too, so long as you're willing to adhere to the uber cutesy diet that these two effortlessly chic Skeletors have been known to follow.

Now, everyone that knows that digestion isn't very glamorous. The act of mastication is, in itself, so very vulgar, and then that nasty bolus of caloric horror settles into your distended stomach, stirring up a whirlwind of has and discomfort as it waits for hours to be broken down. After that harrowing process, a trillion fat globules get sent directly to your upper arms and inner thighs. And then, well, you know... something really un-chic happens in le toilette.

But what if you could bypass all of that unpleasantry and just follow a really adorable diet that consists of only a few hundred calories a day? And, like, your stomach will stay flat since it's not filled with festering kale and noxious fumes.

The Air Diet

Every wannabe Carrie Bradshaw (or Charlotte York if you're really annoying) yearns to achieve maximal chicness with minimal effort. And nobody can do posh like the French, right? Even their diets ooze superior elegance that we ugly Americans could only aspire to attain.

Like, take the Air Diet, or L'Air Fooding as French Grazia dubbed it. God, even the name is so chic, I DIE. So anyway, you basically pretend to eat whatever the hell you want, without actually allowing it touch your lips. Naysayers and physicians will be like, "Ohmigod, that's called anorexia!", but, um, no. Anorexia is what my roommate, Sydney, has, and she won't even go near food without having a twitching episode. This is, like, a lot healthier psychologically.

I mean, I totally get it. Everyone knows that enjoying food is an experience and this diet allows you to immerse yourself in the whole process until the actual eating part. But you still get to order your meal, pay for it, cut it up, smell the aromas, and Instagram pictures of your drool-worthy plate. You just don't absorb all of the calories and fat associated with ingesting the actual food. It's like you're a chic French diet mime who traded eating for the right to talk. Ooh, maybe you can buy a really cute. A.P.C. striped shirt to go with your performance. So authentic.

It's not like you don't eat at all, either. You still get to binge on all of the la soupe a l'eau (translation: chic soup with an uber pretentious name) that you want. Oh, you want to know what's in it> Um, I had the recipe right here. Hold on. Oh, here it is. Boiled water and sea salt. Hm. But sea salt has, like, a lot of minerals in it, right? How nutritious.

So, yea. It seems like the majority of my friends have been on this diet for a really long time. Like even before that issue came out. What trendsetters. I mean, it's a great way for cutting calories, you know? As a bonus, it's not even restrictive! Like, you can help yourself to all of the fancily named soup and air that you want. And, like, a variety of air at that. Just stroll through the perfume section at Barney's or traipse through Le Labo when you're feeling bored with the plain, bourgeoisie oxygen around you. And if you're feeling especially ravenous (um, binge eating disorder, anyone?) you can practice some yoga breathing. It's like dietary meditation. Kay, now Ocean Breath, everyone.

The Paleo Diet

While cavemen might not have been very fashion-forward, they apparently knew how to be skinny motherfuckers. The Museum of Natural History really needs to slim down the mannequins in the exhibit to reflect this don't you think? So inaccurate. Anyway, this hunter-gatherer-centric diet is very simple in that it has one rule- only eat shit that Betty Flinstone would have prepared.

For those of you who are unfamiliar with history, this means that Kettle Chips and peanut butter are no-goes. Anything processed, such as Lean Cuisines, or foods that require relatively modern technology to produce, such as grains, are not allowed. Neither are dairy products, refined sugars, legumes, potatoes, processed oils or alcohol. Yup, even alcohol. No, they did not have "Stone Age" vodka or sugar-free "Bedrock" Red Bull back then. Yes, I am positive.

Anyway, you're basically allowed to have wild seafood, organic eggs, grass-fed game, vegetables, fruits and some nuts. The idea behind this style of eating is that humans, as a species, have not greatly evolved since the era of our cave dwelling ancestors. That is, our digestive systems are largely genetically similar to those of dinosaurs and are still not fully adapted to the vast changes in diet that have occurred since the dawn of the agricultural age. Simply put, we're not that great at digesting the majority of the shit foods that line supermarket shelves today. Yes, even the shelves at Whole Foods.

By following the palaeolithic diet, however, we would be providing our bodies with ideal foods to which our digestive systems are genetically adapted, When we are better able to process and absorb nutrients from these easily digested foods, we would be more capable of achieving optimal health.

But who really cares about primal strength and surly shit like that? Not me or any of my friends, despite the fact that everyone I know has "gone Paleo." What we love about this diet is the amount of control and restriction that it provides the user. You can basically reject most foods so long as you can come up with some inane reason as to why. "I'm only channeling cavewomen who lived in the Northern Hemisphere, and I don't think those were native to that region," you can say with a dismissive sniff as you swat away a platter of seasonal stone fruit. Um, apricots have a lot of carbs, didn't you know?

Plus, the diet itself is just really trendy. It's like the new Dukan Diet, which was originally the new Atkins, which was basically the new Cabbage Soup Diet. You'll probably be consuming the same meals that you normally are, but can now affix the hip label of "Paleo" to your dietary habits. But don't do that shit where you put goat's milk butter in your coffee or inhale bushels of avocados in one sitting- no=carb calories are still calories, after all.

The Ridiculously Low Carb Diet

In the world of the chic, all of the inhabitants are consumed with keeping their carb intakes as close to zero as humanly possible. Throw any generic food product at a chic girl and she can spit back its estimated carbohydrate content in mere seconds. And, as if she were a neurologist treating childhood epilepsy, she knows the ins and outs of the ketogenic diet like the back of her Rodin Crema slathered hand.

Though she may have no idea what mitosis is, or how photosynthesis works, ant legitimate chic girl could pass a PhD-level Nutrition exam with flying colours. "In order to get into a state of ketosis, you need to deplete the glycogen stores in your liver and muscles before even tapping into your fat energy sources. To do that, you have to keep your net carbohydrate intake below 25 grams a day," she will prattle off expertly, though she may not even have the faintest idea what she is actually talking about.

Basically, she knows that the lower your carbohydrate intake, the more fat you will end up burning. Thus, being the borderline-psychotic overachiever that she is, she will set an upper limit of approximately 5 grams of net carbohydrates per day for herself.

Plus, carbs are totes unnecessary. No one has ever looked cute while gorging on a slice of pizza or inhaling a burrito. But nibbling on a piece of asparagus or noshing on a sliver of pecorino is just adorbs. They're like low glycaemic pieces de resistance that compliment your Zac Posen cocktail dress. Bread used to be the official food of peasants, just so you know.

"I only eat foods that are green or white," were the first words that my soon-to be-future roommate, Lauren, ever muttered to me. No mention of her name, age or hometown- nothing. That's how seriously a true chic girl take her carbohydrate consumption- it defines who she is.

"What do you mean?" I had asked innocently like a clueless martian. Mind you, I still wore leggings and thought Greek Yogurt parfaits were healthy at the time. (I know, I know- don't judge me.)

Lauren, bless her heart, had then taken me under her wing, expertly gu8iding me into my current status of perpetual ketosis. We basically subsist on kale, spinach, avocado, egg whites, cheese, white fish and chicken breasts. And what can I say? I'm obsessed. The far just melted off like butter (which is totally allowed, by the way.) Like, I never want to belong to any other metabolic state of mind. It's just so simple, and everyone's doing it. I mean, just saunter into a Fashion Week after party and it'll reek of Chanel Chance and ketones. So chic.

So you can go the high fat route a la Atkins, or limit your fat consumption in the way of Dukan practitioners. Either way, you'll lose the flab and be super taut. But you can never go wrong with the Green and White Diet, the secret weapon of fashionistas in the know. And, while trends may come and go, there is one combination that will always be in style- ketosis breath and look of death. #Chic

The Strategic Starvation Diet

"You just don't eat for, like 18 hours a day," the chic girl will explain when concerned friends inquire about her new stringent diet du jour. "But you totally get to have balanced meals for the other 6! It was on the news. They tested it on mice and they, like, totally lived longer. Ew."

Intermittent fasting is like a godsend for the chic. Apparently, it's actually really healthy and has a bunch of scientific studies published to back it up. Not that the chic girl will ever read them, of course. But if positive results actually exist, then there's actually something to validate her cray.

I mean, what kind of diet condones extended periods of starvation? It's as if this way of eating was made up specifically with the chic bitches in mind. Not to mention that i's supposedly uber effective! Like, in clinical trials, researchers found that overweight participants how utilized intermittent fasting lost way more fat than those who ate the same meals spread throughout the day. I knew that whole "6 mini meals a day" adage was total bullshit!

Of course, the chic girl is just an extreme case of human, so she'll narrow her eating window to 2 hours or so. Some deranged bitches may even aim for 20 minutes! Talk about efficiency.

There's an even wackier version of this method that's been named the "Bulletproof Diet," whatever that means. Basically, you drink black coffee with butter or coconut oil stirred in so that you don't get hungry while in your fasted state. Um, that sounds like a lot of unnecessary calories. And chic girls don't get plagued with hunger- we like to refer to it as "getting of track.: Lile, seriously? Drinking butter> That's not even real fasting. People have no willpower nowadays.

Supporters of this way of eating suggest that people snack on healthy foods during their feeding periods, like bananas and apples. Um, bananas are super starchy. And apples? Did you know that apples don't actually have much nutritional value> The only real benefit that comes form apples is from pectin, which will help to regulate digestion. but since chic girls already consume astronomical amounts of fibre, they won't be receiving many benefits from munching on apples. They can totally get their Vitamin C from elsewhere. Ohmigod, you're learning, like, so much from me. This might as well be a textbook!

I suggest that you nibble on a piece of cheese or some veggies during your allotted eating time. That way, you can totally maximize ketosis and burn as much fat as fucking possible. I mean, Emily Blunt's character in The Devil Wears Prada totally knew what she was doing. She was just way ahead of her time. Like, don't you want to be one stomach fu away from sample size too?

The Raw Food Diet

This one's for the extremists, of which there are many in the upper echelons of the chic. Basically, you stick to a diet of uncooked veggies all day long, with the occasional piece of fruit thrown in. As expected, these bitches are skinny as fuck and look great in just about anything. They also absorb, like, maximal nutrients and have beautiful skin and hair. Plus, they get to lecture and judge others all day long about the importance of enzymes and whatnot. These skinny twigs can also consume bushels of allowed foods and still keep their daily calorie counts in the hundreds. Totes ideal, if you can stomach it, I mean. But have you ever tried raw broccoli or mushrooms? Ew.

If you've lost all sensory input from your taste buds, as can happen when on frightening amount of amphetamines, this is the perfect lifestyle for you. You can be like a super svelte panda bear and nosh on stalks of celery or fistfuls of curly kale all day. You'll lose heaps of weight and will have a spotless digestive tract, I'm sure. Just be proactive about taking, like, 15 Beano with each meal. Gas isn't cute, even if it's being caused by adorable produce like grape tomatoes and baby carrots.

Some people will get all technical and allow themselves to have sashimi, but staunch raw foodists will shake their heads at this practice. I don't see what's wrong with it, especially since sushi is, like, so yum. Anyway, soaked nuts and sprouted seeds are allowed, but make sure to watch how much you eat. They're still packed with calories and, this, aren't totally conducive to rapid fat obliteration.

People on the raw food diet love to chirp about mental clarity and feelings of euphoria, but I think that they're just really happy because they can slip into Gareth Pugh leather leggings without putting up a struggle. I highly doubt that weeping into bowls of raw radicchio and consuming bland vegetables dressed in the salt of my tears would make me feel vibrant and more alive. I mean, I would be completely ecstatic about sticking to a strict diet of copper pennies and shards of glass if it, too, left me with a 3-inch thigh cap. But to each her own, I suppose.

It's also well known that a lot of working models are technically raw foodies since they basically just consume cauliflower smoothies and piles of wilted spinach. No wonder they always look so sad. But have you seen their hip bones? Um, yea.

So I totally just ordered a raw organic vegan Kale Dulse Salad and a cold-pressed coffee from Seamless. They better fucking hurry before all the nutrients break down. Ooh, do you think calories can break down over time too? Let's hope so. Enzymes, here I come!

The One Food Diet

Basically, anyone who lacks even a smidgen of self-control should consider this dietary tactic. It allows no leeway for excuses or exceptions so long as you follow just one simple rule: consume only one type of food.

When you define vague dietary rules, such as allowing low-carb or liquid items, you'll find that the hungry fatass within will convince herself that certain foods fit the guidelines. I mean, butterscotch pot de creme is technically liquid, right? And an entire stick of butter covered in guacamole is totes low-carb. Inhaling, like, three bowls of blood orange sorbet doesn't constitute cheating on a raw food diet, either...

Stop. Just stop. You obvi have issues with following rules, oh voracious one. Technicalities are just fancy excuses for the dietarily inept, and one shouldn't be allowed to make risky, body composition-altering decisions when starving and delirious. So do as the OCD-inflicted waifs do and pick one food with which to thoroughly familiarize yourself to the point of disgust for the next two weeks.

You won't have to waste time obsessing over meal planning or calculating nutritional contents. It's basically like putting your diet on auto-pilot ass you graze on your one allowed food in a fat-shedding haze. Honestly, yo can pick whatever you want, since you'll likely get sick of it as time goes on. Like, did you know that Uma Thurman once went on an ice cream diet? She lost 25 pounds over a six-week period. On ice cream. ON ICE CREAM.

Now, I don't suggest that you pick the congealed, sweetened mucus of dairy cows as your food of choice, as that' s just, like, not really a good starting point. Pick something like tomatoes, or green apples, or avocados, Bananas and grapes work also, but do keep in mind that they are quite high in sugar. My personal choices are either eggs or grapefruit with Splenda. Whatever you choose, make sure to stick with it. That's all there is to it.

Some proponents believe that partaking in the consumption of only one type of food allows your body to become more efficient at digesting and metabolizing it, but I'm not sure. I mean, I guess it makes sense. But who really gives a fuck about all of that health-boosting mumbo jumbo? The real reason that this diet is so attractive and effective is because it helps to teach you a lesson in discipline and restraint. By sticking to this diet for just a short while, you'll see that you're more than capable of controlling yourself when it comes to impulsive food-related decisions.

It's like dietary therapy, but without having to visit an overpriced psychiatrist who just nods along and asks you obvious questions about how you feel about that time you ate a lobster roll. Um, I feel like shit, okay? You didn't need to remind me. That's why I'm allowing myself zucchini slices for the next month, duh.

The Two Cup Diet

Did you know that your stomach is only the size of your fist? So why are you stuffing it until you can't breathe? Um, I don't care if you're a firm believer in Volumetrics- that method only works if you're feasting on organic iceberg lettuce and sparkling water.

Now, getting a bariatric surgery done costs roughly $30,000. Trust me, I went to go get an estimate. The doctor was actually really rude and scoffed at me during the consultation, which I really took offense to. He was all, "Um, you know that this is for, like, clinically obese people, right?" So I was like, "Er, yea. It's called preventative medicine, natch." And then he, like, totally rolled his eyes at me and said in a condescending tone, "You obvi don't qualify for the procedure, especially since your BMI totes falls into the underweight category. Sorrz." I'm not an expert in medical law or anything, but I think that's called discrimination. Horrible bedside manner, not to mention illegal, no? I really need to call my dad's attorney about this.

Anyway, my friend, Melissa, found a totally cheap alternative to getting your stomach stapled until it's the size of a walnut. She learned it from a group of 14 year old Latvian models that she shared a room with during Milan Fashion Week. You basically take two tiny Dixie cups and fill them with whatever food you might please, though preferably of the low-calorie, low-carb and low-fat variety. Then you can enjoy your mini feast without worrying about portion control. It takes the stomach roughly four hours to empty, so you can set an alarm on your iPhone for four hour intervals to remind you of when you're allowed to have another two cups. Um, genius, right? And who said that teenaged models needed to stay in school to have good heads on their shoulders?

Don't abuse this system by using the red plastic cups of beer pong infamy, though. You're not an obese retired frat boy living it up in Murray Hill. By Dixie cups, I'm referring to the uber cutesy 3 oz. waxed paper ones that are meant for gargling in the bathroom. If you want to take it to the next level, you can also use tiny utensils, like oyster forks, to slow down your consumption and increase satiety. There w as this one girl that I interned with who carried around a tiny Tiffany & Co. silver baby spoon with her everywhere. Totally crazy, yet totally chic. Did I mention that she weighed, like, 85 pounds?

So who cares if you look like an unhinged betch for scarfing down tiny bites of wild mushroom fricassee from a mouthwash-delivery vessel using a toddler's fork? You'll be laughing all the way past the antiseptic-scented waiting room of a really rude weight loss surgeon's shabbily decorated Upper East Side clinic while your critics slowly begin to qualify for Lap-band installation. Um, who said that preventative medicine had to cost a year's worth of college tu8ition? People with no self-control, obvi.

The HCG Diet

Only a batshit cray person would willingly stab herself repeatedly while wincing and bellowing in pain, right? Um, yes, but that mentally unstable waif wielding the 25 gauge needle sure is tiny. Enter the HCG Diet, a regimen in which one is required to inject oneself with a variety of vitamins and hormones while subsisting on a maximum of 500 calories per day. HCG, or Human Chorionic Gonadotrophin, is basically a hormone produced by pregnant women soo after conception for... I don't know. The guy who came up with the idea to implement it in a weight loss regimen said that it suppresses your appetite and helps with fat loss, or whatever. Anyway its use as a weight loss agent is, like, really frowned upon by the FDA, which everyone knows must mean that it totally works. Like, remember ephedra? And phentermine? Uh, yea.

It's really easy. You basically follow an ultra low-calorie, low-carbohydrate, low fat, high-protein diet (uh, don't we regardless?) and give yourself daily injections of Vitamin B-12 and HCG in your hips and thighs, respectively. A physician or medical professional has to hand then over, so expect to pay a pretty penny (or 60 thousand) for a three-week program. If you're feeling super ambitious, you can also drag the whole thing our for six weeks!

Everyone will be like, "Er, of course you're losing weight. You're only eating 500 calories each day!" Ohmigod, really? Thanks for the news flash. I totally didn't know that. Um, of course anyone will lose weight on a 500-calorie diet, you observant twats. But who (other than an anorexic ballerina) actually has the discipline to stick to those numbers? Uh, a really chic girl who just blew one week's pay on dietary heroin, that's who.

So even if HCG isn't actually clinically proven to assist with fat loss or appetite suppression, who really cares? Even if you had spent hundreds of dollars on sterile syringes filled with Flinstones vitamins diluted in Diet Sprite, you would still have an obligation to stick to the accompanying regimen. I';s called financial responsibility, people!

But, oh Chic One, how come we can't just use the homeopathic drops that they sell on Amazon? I don't want to hurt myself, you say. I really don't like needles, you cry out. Um, in case you haven't been paying attention, there's a concept called "No Pain, A Lotta Gain." And it's just, like, totes legit? I mean, just because you rub to botulism toxin all over your skin doesn't mean that you're going to do skit about your crow's feet or laugh lines. You're just going to have a really dirty face. But inject some Botox all up in those crevices? Um, hello Bruce Jenner!

Besides, didn't you know that "homeopathic" is just Latin for "faker than a Canal Street Kurakami Multicolore Monogram Speedy 25?" Ew.

The Cabbage Soup Diet

"I lost, like, 10 pounds in 3 days," the chic girl will announce with widened eyes to all of her entranced comrades. "I didn't even know that I had that much to lose!"

Going on the cabbage soup diet is akin to complaining about having to fly home for the holidays or binge drinking over Memorial Day Weekend- it's just ingrained in American culture. Eating disordered betches of yore have passed this timeless diet on from generation to generation and, as unglamorous as it may be, it still prevails as a magic bullet of sorts to this day. So when you need to get skinny stat, show a little patriotic spirit and boil up a giant vat of cabbage and under-seasoned water. Your tummy won't thank you, but your thigh gap sure will.

You can binge if you'd like, but I'm sure you won't want to. The soup isn't particularly enthralling to the taste buds, but the parboiled vegetables will help to satisfy the vacuous pit that is your empty stomach. And, even if you stuff yourself senseless with the tasteless broth, you'll still probably only consume a couple of hundred calories a day. Just don't try to stand up too quickly, or you might just faint from chic overload!

Some variations of the diet allow other foods, such as bananas and meat, but you really shouldn't stray from tradition. Like, what would your ancestors say? They would likely shake their pin curls in disappointment.

The basic recipe calls for cabbage (duh), celery, mushrooms, tomatoes, peppers, onions, carrots, pre-made bullion cubes and your seasonings of choice. Sounds super yum, right? Um, this is when you're supposed to nod and be like, "Ohmigod, delish."

Anyway, I wouldn't bother adding onions or carrots since they're uber starchy. I just don't want you to get kicked out of ketosis, you know? Come to think of it, throw those tomatoes out too. That bouillon just seems totes unnecessary also. Okay, so our soup will basically consist of mineral water and cabbage, I suppose. But now we're, like, totally doing the One Food Diet, too. And Paleo! And, like, this is uber vegan-friendly. Gawd, talk about multi-tasking.

The "I can't see it!" Diet

If you're a fixture on the fashion industry's party circuit, you are well aware of the au courant set's penchant for microscopic portions of distinguishingly decadent food, I mean, what exactly is the purpose of serving miniature cupcakes? Is this a test? Like, what's with the tiny sandwiches and cheeseburgers? Is the bread just there to keep your fingers clean? And someone please explain to me the obsession with canapes and fried puffs. All I see are fat and carbs sharing real estate on a tray smothered in grease and shame. It's actually really confusing yet insulting yet intriguing yet tempting yet cute yet revolting, all at the same time.

Am I supposed to eat it? I think I am. I mean, these kind caterers have already done all of the hard work and cut everything into tiny, guilt-free smidgens. And how terrible could everything be when the portion sizes are so adorable? That grilled truffle oil-infused gruyere sandwich can't be so bad for me, right? It's only, like, half the size of my Amex card. And that microscopic scone? It's the size of a quarter! Having one doesn't make me irresponsible.

Wait a minute. Ohmigod, are people watching? Do I look poor and desperate? How come no one else is eating? Should I not be eating either? I think I just saw that blogger pop a tiny piece of fried macaroni and cheese into his mouth. Or did he? I repeat, is this a test?

There is a reason that all of the offering at such glamorous parties are bite-sized enigmas of congealed cheese and bacon grease. They're your cheat treats! Enjoying a few tiny morsels of forbidden food is totes acceptable, so long as you don't carry around a plate laden with them. As a reward for all of the other 364 days a year that you deny yourself of such scrumptious evils, you are allowed this one window of glorious opportunity to indulge in two or, daresay, three pieces of wanton abandon.

Oh, but the fashion crowd is a clever one. While each itty-bitty hors d'ouevre might seem relatively innocuous, it is still a miniature recreation of something that you would never be caught dead eating in front of Anna Wintour. Thus, you must wolf it down as surreptitiously as possible while still keeping your composure. And in that is where the genius lies.

After committing such a deplorable act as inhaling a mini brownie in three seconds flat while crouched down behind a crowd of fashion photographers, you are overcome with remorse and shame. What has come of you? Have you no self-control? It wasn't even worth it! That's it- no more food for the rest of the night! Then you will ration out a mini green juice for the rest of the evening in hopes that it will at least help to dilute your transgressions.

Do you see what just happened? You got your junk food fix, yet your calorie count for the day will be kept low by the guilt that overwhelms you. If you're lucky, the remorse will spill over into the next day. Maybe even the rest pf the week! D you know what just happened? It's called psychology.

The I'm-fucking-rich-and-glamourous Diet

For the impossibly chic girl, it's raining oysters, sashimi and tartare every night, with a guarantee of accompanying champagne showers. She loves to order seafood towers for the table and is obsessed with rhubarb mignonette. "I'm basically on a raw food diet, as you know," she will explain to her friends as she persuades them into doing a $300 caviar tasting. "Just a really fancy one."

Or is black & blue filet mignon considered raw? Whatever. The chic girl loves her steak, especially if it's of the Kobe Wagyu variety. She'll do lobster or butterfish or even sea bream, but forgoes salmon because it's "so 2011." "I only do lox when I have Eggs Norwegian at Balthazar," she will say with a sniff as she pursues limited menus with disdain. "And I'm talking about Paris Balthazar, not the one on Spring."

She is like a culinary hipster in the sense that she basically shuns anything that wouldn't be available to the general public at Food Emporium. Um, farro risotto? With fucking kale? You better back away slowly before she scratches your face in frustration. How dare you offer her that. She doesn't do proletarian foods; didn't you know?

Basically, she will turn up her perfectly rhinoplasty job at the foods of mere mortals, rolling her eyes if someone suggests going out for pizza and snarling in disgust at the mention of gourmet burgers. "I tried a cheeseburger for the first time whilst on holiday in London last year," she will say as she lets out a harrowing sigh. "It was the worst experience of my entire life."

"Cava is not champagne!" she will vehemently cry out, snatching the menu away from the basic bitch who had the audacity to suggest it in her presence. "And oysters from New Jersey? Get the fuck out of my face."

This emaciated diva loves herself a good tasting menu, even if it consists of, like, 18 courses. But haven't you noticed how all of the nicer restaurants, like Per Se and Daniel, are basically just never-ending parades of microscopic low-carb morsels? Obvi the people in the kitchen get the picture! And as for dessert, this lavish betch never partakes- she's just so full, you know?

So be it foie grais brulee, organic rabbit rillettes or diver scallop carpaccio, this extravagant girl knows how to execute the zero-carb diet in style. And while other chic ladies around town may have to sacrifice pricey food in favour of fashion, this is never an issue for this rich bitch (or, perhaps, her sugar daddy). For the girl on the FRaG Diet, compromise is never an option.

[ohblimeygeorge]

So I’m probably gonna get stick for this but something about a lot of the wags being invited for the Charlotte Tilbury f1 Academy event just rubs me the wrong way. Like F1 Academy is meant to be (and doing a good job) at highlighting women in motorsport and Susie’s doing an incredible job at it all, but the wags being invited to an event just for freebies and to ‘promote’ F1 Academy just seems all kinds of wrong.

For one, (and take this as the bitchy comment it is) none of them are these famous influencers they seem to think they are 🤷🏼‍♀️ so they don’t really have the audience to promote anything to bc their audience is basically full of fan girls of the drivers who most likely already know about F1 Academy and what it’s all about. Plus none of them are actually promoting it they’re just posting their pics with their make up and pr goodies and tagging. That’s not really promoting. I’d be more convinced if they had at least videos of them chatting to the drivers, answering questions to prove they’ve actually watched races, etc. Correct me if I’m wrong but I’ve not seen any of them really showing proper support for it beforehand but suddenly they’re all fans lol? Also I find it interesting that there are 2 girlfriends on the grid who are actual female athletes - Lily Muni He and Tiffany Cromwell. But neither of them are involved in the event nor the pic of the wags on the track today, when they are both there too. These 2 are the perfect way to help bring in more female fans/females in motorsports or just sports in general. They have audiences of their own, not just their bf’s fans and actually know how to engage in enticing new people in - they’ve pushed themselves through in their indvidual mainly male dominated sports. I would’ve loved to have seen them interact with the drivers and get involved! (I’m aware it very much could be them deciding not to but when the only 2 athletes aren’t involved and the other wags are.. Mm it looks strange to me). Having just wannabe influencers who are already from very privileged backgrounds be the faces of this latest promotion is just pure stupidity if I’m honest. Not one little girl is gonna look at that and think ‘yeah I’m gonna work really hard and get into motorsports!’ All they’ll see is flashy lifestyles and easy money. And let’s be clear, I’m not here to purely hate on them it’s just so disappointing tbh. The money spent on the pr freebies for the wags could’ve been used to spend it on the current F1 Academy drivers or the up and coming young girls not wannabe influencers who will keep it on their ig stories for 24 hours then never speak of it again bc they’ve got their picture showing their ‘support’ there now. Idk really it all just gives me a massive ick and tbh I might as well just say it bc I’m digging myself a hole here anyway lol but none of these women seem genuine at all.

I just wanna see more real hard work and determination and actual role models for the younger generation of girls not the glitz and glamour this latest wave of wags/F1 in general has brought.

[the-owl-tree]

Tell me about your non fandom ocs

i've mentioned them twice but my supervillain gals are always rotating in my brain. i'm horrendous at drawing action, superhero gear, and clothes in general so i don't draw them as much as i'd like to (though i am trying to improve on those fronts) but that doesn't stop me from imagining a shit ton of lore for them

okay quick summary for everyone: Charlotte and Ridley are wannabe villains attempting to become big name villains in their city. They live in a society where superpowers exist and becoming a hero (and a villain) is an actual occupation! They are also all furries because animals rule thank you. I am trying to develop this to reflect my own tastes because at the moment, it does resemble sci-fi furry worm and i'd like to make it its own thing.

now. get lore dumped (and i guess a guide to make your own furry hero/villain in this world?).

Powers

As mentioned, powers are a normal thing in this world! While not entirely common, it's not a rare or surprising occurrence to have multiple powered up folks within one city. In fact, the setting of this story and where the main cast lives is considered the superpower capitol of the world due in part to it homing the League of United Heroes (or LOUH for short. working on the name, these are not my strong suit lol).

Powers can manifest in different ways with the most common to least common being:

Inherited biologically (it's not uncommon for superhero/supervillain familial lines to dominate the scenes thanks to this)

Manifested due to an intense emotional reaction, usually through a traumatic event (surprise surprise, villains outnumber the heroes for a reason)

Manifest later in age (Uncommon)

Just "appear" (incredibly rare, research still hasn't figured out why this happens)

Powers can also be further classified on how they interact with the world, with oftentimes power being divided between the ability to create ("Inherents") versus those who need preexisting material to use their powers ("Dependants"). Charlotte (Villain name: Spellbrewer) is the latter, her magic requires she use ingredients to create her trademark brews. Ridley (Villain name: Copycat) is also classified as the latter, though there is some debate if it's correct, as her power relies on her ability to copy an outsider superhero's power in order to use it. The slang for this is akin to talking about your belly button lol "are you an innie or an outie?"

This is further divided as you go, with Inherents having classifications such as:

"Espers" - those with powers that either enhance or discombobulate both the user and victim's mental states.

"still need a catchy name for this one but Physically Enhanced" - any powers that fall under physical enhancements such as super speed, super strength, etc.

"Matter Manipulation" - Another catch all term for those who can manipulate various elements such as rock, fire, etc.

Individuals with multiple powers do exist, but they're mostly common in those from a lineage of powers, especially if both parents are powered individuals themselves. It is incredibly rare for an individual without that genetic link to manifest multiple powers (but not impossible!).

There's more and some are more difficult to classify than others (Mercenary Whiplash (real name unknown) is a weasel with a unique luck based power, where he is somehow able to manipulate outcomes of battles to his favor).

Powers are mandatory to register, though that doesn't mean they're always easy to keep track of. Lots of powered individuals slip under the cracks and manage to keep out of the system.

Those that are registered are assigned a "risk" rating (a 1-10 scale from minimal risk to highly dangerous) and those that aren't heroes or villains are often assigned a caretaker to check in on them weekly, monthly, or yearly depending on their risk rating. This system is not good, it is a well known secret that this dynamic has lead to unequal relationships between caregiver and the individual they're assigned to with one of the main cast, a raven with a risk rating of 10, murdering their own "caregiver" (the story in particular centres around an abusive relationship and i want to tweak the details before i go too much into it).

Occupations

It isn't mandatory to be a hero or a villain if you have powers, lots of individuals are able to maintain normal work lives whilst having supernatural abilities. Capuchin monkey performer "Viridian" is known for her ability to shatter brick with a powerful scream, but still manages a successful career as a singer (with regular check ins from LOUH, it helps she has some connections to it as well). Juno, a giant cowbird reporter from a popular tabloid, also manages her very contagious powers through the use of gloves and a medical mask (and the fact that her power is unregistered but shush that's a secret).

Difficult for some? Yes. Impossible? Not at all.

But onto the meat of the story: the heroes and the villains. These are occupations you can go into, with different types and different ways to play the game. The "mainstream" heroes and villains are akin to wrestlers and heels, celebrities doing public performances to win public clout, maintain social order, and so on. Some villains are actually contracted by LOUH to "be defeated" to introduce new heroes. Of course, some heroes and villains are completely rogue.

Villains and heroes are rated on a 1-10 danger scale with 1-4 being the "beginner/mediocre" stage where it's alright to let the villains escape for the sake of more publicity/action, consider it the "not a threat, more of a nuisance" area; 5-7 is where heroes have to use their heads to decide whether or not to arrest or let them slip and where villains can get away with doing a little more damage; 8-10 is the danger zone, villains are to be arrested and/or killed if necessary. High risk, high reward.

It's also not mandatory for heroes and villains to have powers! There are a few individuals with no powers that have managed to make it in the business. Difficult, but not impossible!

Heroes

Heroes can work independently, as a registered team, or as "for-hire" muscle. However, most of them are registered with LOUH who assign them a team, a city, a ranking, and equipment. While not mandatory, most heroes tend to find their footing with LOUH first before going independent.

Not to say they can't be successful while independent. Caroline "Cotton" Ackerman (Codename: Hellhound) is an independent hero who's often contracted by LOUH to take down rank 8-10 supervillains who's powers often counter LOUH's top heroes. Caroline was responsible for taking down the infamous plant based villain Oleander, a sheep with a nasty habit of killing civilians in her mass destruction. Their rivalry and dynamic is wildly considered to be the most iconic and their fights would often kick up a whirlwind of media attention. Definitely hated each other, yep, definitely did not have the most insane sexual tension out there no sirree it was a very professional rivalry. they never made out in a closet idk what you're talking about.

Whilst registering with a broader hero group can help boost your chances of success, independent work has its perks! More freedom to control your image, less rules applied when working, and so on.

Independent hero teams also exist and are widely more successful than individuals. However, they're more prone to falling apart due to personal drama and stressors of hero life. Think of it as the group that start a band in high school, some of them are gonna make it but, uh...most of them won't and a lot of them will just be smaller less well known groups with moderate success.

The second most common method is registering with an organization. Most of these are smaller hero agencies that usually specialize in creating certain types of heroes. It's generally fairly easy to find an agency that matches the type of hero you want to be, whether it be one that's more of a celebrity, a charity worker, first responder, etc. etc. These organizations can vary on fees, with more prestigious ones costing more.

Of course, the biggest and most common is LOUH, in which all agencies share their data with in order to help it. While smaller agencies will pretty much take anyone, LOUH is more exclusive and often relies on scouting and applications. Potential LOUH official heroes have to take an entrance exam, a physical, do a background check, and on and on and on.

But the perks are worth it if you get in, LOUH does everything to produce the top heroes. They are the only agency with rank 8-10 heroes for a reason (and if you ignore that these rank 10 heroes are the children of other high ranking LOUH rank 10 heroes then it only seems super impressive). fun fact: charlotte's ex who she's definitely over and totally not pining for anymore is a rank 8 hero. not that charlotte cares or anything., she's definitely not mad about failing the entrance exams and then getting dumped no sirree.

Crime fighters aren't the only occupation for a hero, of course. Hero can describe "performers", a rank of hero that fights with villain heels in public performances to help boost morale. There are those enlisted to help fight natural disasters. Heroes with healing abilities are also big names! It isn't just beating up baddies, lots of alternatives with hero work!

Villains

The ones everyone likes to read about lol villains immensely overwhelm the heroes in terms of numbers. However, while heroes have a pretty robust support system to avoid burnout, villains commonly drop out of the line of work within months or even weeks. It's exhausting being hated, getting your ass kicked, or just failing. A lot.

But that doesn't mean there aren't those who stay in the game. Money, power, fame are all driving motivations for a lot of the villains within the city, especially the main duo. Charlotte's in it for fame and tabloids in this universe are more than happy to run stories about charismatic villains. Ridley's just in it for the money (and there is a lot to be made in this line of work).

Fun fact! These two are a rank 4 superhero team and have the additional classification as a "training wheels" opponent. Ridley's copycat abilities get stronger and more refined the more she copies an individual's powers, so it's in LOUH's best interest to constantly rotate teams to fight them whenever they act. However, since the two, at the beginning of the story, don't actually pose much of a threat, they send in newer teams to practice fighting against them. Charlotte does not know this, she just thinks they're so good that LOUH doesn't have the heroes to keep up.

There are no official villain agencies (LOUH squashed them pretty early on), but networks and alliances are still alive and well. "Crime families" and smaller teams of villains do exist, but are much less organized than the heroes. Like heroes, villain families exist and tend to stick with one another (Kyanna, the aforementioned sheep villain was originally part of one but was used as a scapegoat for a heist gone wrong).

Uuuuhhh let's see what else haven't I mentioned....."heels" are pseudo-villains that are more performers than actual villains, they're usually to help boost morale and public image of heroes by purposefully losing in scripted battles. Shops for villains exist but you gotta know where to look, very much under the table sort of deal. Edna, a kitty cat, runs a bookshop that doubles as a shop for villain materials and whatnot.

High on the danger scale, the more likely you'll be taken down and sent to prison rather than let go. Uuuh oh, villain celebrities do exist! People eat it up, but it really does depend on charisma, appearance, and just how marketable you are. Yes, it's incredibly fucked and causes a lot of discourse around the efforts of treating a villain like a celebrity (this is actually part of Juno's story!).

Neutral Parties

You don't always have to pick a side! Like the aforementioned Caroline, lots of superpowered individuals are actually on a "for-hire" basis for both supervillains and heroes. Whiplash, who actually lives with Edna in its bookstore, is a for-hire mercenary that often fights alongside heroes and villains. Edna as well also assists both sides, as long as they have the right amount of cash.

While it runs the risk of drawing in negative attention from LOUH, it also opens up a wider array of customers. You win some, you lose some. It's all about evaluating risk and reward.

-

uuuuhh i think that's about all of the top of my head? thanks for letting me ramble! not necessarily about my oc's but i did add tidbits of them throughout this massive lore dump lol thank you for asking this was fun <3 i might go back and add more drawings for funsies, i need to do more with these guys

[neokandis-hardcore-art]

Charlotte the wannabe witch for my new comic!

Shop ⛤ Commissions ⛤ Ko-Fi

[rorirevolutions]

World Building Pt. 3: Archetypes

So one of the big problems I have with some of these shows is how Black and White everything is. You're either a Hero or Villain, but the world isn’t like that its full of different archetypes, from Anti-Heroes to Mercenaries. Here is my little analysis of some characters that don't fit the standard:

Max Thunderman is one of the easiest to make sense of, for a majority of the time he is shown as a wannabe Supervillain but in the last season he suddenly switches to full on Superhero which I believe is unrealistic. Overall Max fits the Sympathetic Anti-Villain archetype (The sympathetic anti-villain is a character that the readers feel sorry for, and if some of their actions weren’t so villainous, the readers might even root for them. The character’s backstory is key here, as it must garner sympathy from the reader and tug on the heartstrings. It must reveal that the anti-villain is acting the way they do due to past circumstances outside of their control and because they don’t see any other options open to them.) An Anti-villain does good things for not great reasons and thats truly what Max does for a majority of the show. Him going full hero makes no sense, neither does him becoming a anti-hero(someone who does bad things for good reasons). He never truly has a reason for a change of heart, only a reason to tone down the bad a little.

However, with Henry Hart we see a genuine slide in his behavior over the course of Seasons 4-5. We watch him become uncomfortable in his role as not only a sidekick but also as a hero and getting in more fights with Captain Man. After he moves to Dystopia its very clear his role is not that of a hero and is now more so an Anti-hero or Mercenary. In fact he shows the same traits as a Classical Anti-Hero Archetype(A traditional hero is confident and intelligent, with few flaws and weaknesses. Therefore, the classical anti-hero is the opposite and is plagued by self-doubt and a lack of confidence. Readers enjoy the complexity that comes with a layered character who is flawed and conflicted. Traditionally, the story arc will follow the classical anti-hero conquering their fears and coming to terms with themselves and their faults to fight and conquer whatever is threatening them.) Its shown especially when he, Charlotte, & Jasper first come to Dystopia they do some good for a little bit until they face actual villains who are serious & terrifying, unlike the cartoonish villains they faced in Swellview. When they messed with the wrong people, Henry had a bounty put on him and he ditched town without saying anything. He ghosted Charlotte & Jasper who were worried out of their minds that he got killed. After that Henry, probably not wanting to move back to Swellview, chooses to stay in Dystopia. He doesn't have a superhero costume or codename thats shown and he doesn’t try to hide his face. He is also more willing to do non-heroic things such as the last time he came to Swellview he had Ray help him on a paid job to kidnap a literal child! He robbed a bank just to pay for a gift for his gf who told him she didn't want it. Anytime we see him in Danger Force he's doing something kinda sketchy.

The Bionic’s are an entirely different story from the others because unlike the others they don’t really have any choice in what they do. They were created to be Super Soldiers and even though they try to escape that, they still end up as soldiers. They are sent on missions by higher ranking forces to do tasks. When they have tried to break off and live as normal civilians they are penalized physically and emotionally, and have been forced to return. The missions they go on are morally ambiguous and they don’t seem to care too much as long as the mission is completed. Even the whole thing with the bionic uprising in S4, Sebastian believed that the Davenports destroyed his creator and stages a coup to avenge him. While it is the most motivation to do something other than take orders, that has been shown so far. The soldiers that follow Sebastian still take his orders, showing it to be more of a shifting of ranks instead of actual freedom. It's often stated that a true hero appears when they step up in a time of crisis to help. Soldiers can absolutely be considered heroes but the bionics aren’t Superheroes. Good comes as a byproduct of their missions it is not usually the initial goal. It only kinda changes for Bree and Chase when they are paired up with the MM crew in EF.

Overall while they tried to show this message in the shows I personally don't think it was done well and am hoping to change that. As always I welcome critiques and ideas <3

The little summaries of the different archetypes are from: https://jerichowriters.com/anti-hero-vs-villain-a-complete-guide/

[auseyre]

Pride Month: Noah's Arc -2005

Little primer because I feel like it's probably not that well known.

Noah's Arc was the black QAF, the gay Living Single/Sex and the City/Girlfriends. Short-lived but notable and groundbreaking for focusing on black, queer men. For me, the characters were more mature in some ways than the multiple series it mimicked -the show was less about growing up and more about finding your way as a grown-up. And also about hot bodies.

This is Noah - the Carrie. Noah is a wannabe screenwriter (because as we all know, writing is *that* job.)

This is Alex -The Charlotte. (The cutie getting brushed off is Alex's longtime/long-suffering boyfriend). Alex is an HIV/Aids educator, which is awesome because the show gets to direct focus on something that has been and remains a major problem in the black community.

This is Ricky -The Samantha. Ricky has a little bit of an unrequited thing for Noah. And later hooks up with Wilson Cruz(lucky man).

This is Chance -The Miranda. Chance is a professor whose first and strongest love is and will always be academics. Which is a problem with his newly domestic life.

They are Noah's ARC(get it, look, I love puns and whatever this counts as okay). And this...this is Noah's Big.

On the one hand, it's definitely hilarious watching Wade protest how straight he is when stuff like this happens.

On the other hand, he's an African American, macho, man's man having a bi-awakening as an adult and the show doesn't flinch away from what that means.

There are two seasons and a movie that gives everyone a happy ending.

[chaosnojutsu]

good morning!! I see your backstory ask post and I would love to hear more about the bridgerton AU or extraordinary love!! Whatever you want to say about them. they are faves of mine!! ❤️ thank youuuuuuu

You get both as I try to decide if I can swing something for Shikatema month and prep for Nejiten month! Perfect timing, I actually just re-read these two last night looking for inspiration!

ask about the backstory for one of my fics!

send shivers down my spines: I wrote all the Nejiten story and separately wrote all of Lady Whistledown as one cohesive letter, and then decided where I wanted to place each of her gossipy interjections. That was neat to explore as a writing device because I had room to expand upon the world and add a little more flavor (like detailing Naruhina’s relationship and my obligatory background Shikatema mention) without feeling like I had to do it all from Tenten’s POV, which would have detracted from the core of this story: Tenten being horny for Neji.

Another fun part of writing this was casting what role each character would play! Coding Neji as Simon was easy — deciding to split Daphne between Tenten and Hinata then seemed natural; the premise of having sex in the library comes from Daphne and Simon, but it felt disingenuous to her character for Tenten to be the diamond of the season. My personal favorite analog is Tsunade and Queen Charlotte, which also felt like a duh decision given their roles in society, but I liked the nod to Tenten wanting to impress Tsunade.

I solemnly swear to never refer to Tenten’s junk as “nethers” again lmao. I usually can’t stand that one, but it felt appropriate for the piece. And I can’t talk about this fic without bringing up the dom Neji agenda! Who’s going to tell the head of the house he can’t give head anywhere he wants in his house?? Definitely not Tenten, and apparently not any of their house staff. I’ve spent some time considering what a dom Neji might look like since your initial comment on the fic, so he might make a stronger appearance in another work — yay and thanks for putting the bug in my ear!

extraordinary love: “Temari knows damn well why a stupid social construct like her nonexistent virginity matters. Back in the day of arranged marriages, the whole thing was more of a business deal. The wannabe groom would have to pay more to his bride’s family in exchange for her hand in marriage if she was pure. Virgin brides from influential families were high dollar items. Temari’s family is influential enough. But now that the matter of virginity is off the table… this barter is looking more like the Sand seeking retribution against the Leaf than tit for tat. If her marriage is blessed, they’ll probably stipulate Shikamaru move to Suna instead of the opposite, which is not what Temari and Shikamaru decided on. In the most drastic worst case scenario, like Kankuro said, their engagement (or the knowledge that said engagement has been consummated on a number of occasions) might be seen as an act of war. They’ll stick Shikamaru’s stupid, handsome face in a bingo book with shoot to kill orders.”

This premise is the heartbeat of the story. What does it look like when your personal values don’t align with those of everyone else around you? How do we respond when well-intended people stick their nose in our business and give an opinion we never asked for? Combined with fan theories/headcanons that Shikadai was a pre-wedding pregnancy — and that’s an interesting concept to me, especially considering what that might have looked like for Temari and Shikamaru if they were still long distance or abruptly decided not to be (and the parallel to Mirai and Kurenai and Asuma, of course, which I didn’t hit in this story because Temari wasn’t actually pregnant) — everything fell into place.

Making the call to write from Temari’s POV was exciting but scary because she’s so Particular, you know? But this story needed to come from her because of what it is, and it’s about Temari’s agency: she gets to decide who she marries, and whose baby she has, and she gets to decide when those things happen. And then I got to actually write her being in love (which I’m eager to try again), and I love the energy of Temari being like “Look how impressive my fiancé is! I made a good choice! I’m trying really hard to make you approve of him!” and Shikamaru being like “Yeah, what she said!” Because Shikamaru understands that as far as Suna’s customs and culture go, he doesn’t have a dog in that race, he IS Temari’s underdog in the race.

I’m honestly proud of this fic because I know I just made it sound really serious in terms of themes etc., but it ultimately is a comedy, and anyone who has ever done comedy can speak to how difficult of a skill it is to learn and hone. One of the things that makes comedy work well is that the characters have to take everything seriously and respond sincerely, now matter how ridiculous or grandiose their circumstances or responses may be. Temari even says from the beginning of this story that she knows she has the Kazekage on her side, but she panics a little because of her circumstances and takes matters into her own hands, and she doesn’t relinquish that control until shenanigans have ensued and Gaara finally reminds his sister that his support of her was never in question. (I’m not sure how I feel about my iterations of Gaara and Kankuro individually or overall, but I do like their scenes with Temari as siblings and their consistency.)

Side note: the reception of this story gave me the confidence to write chapter 15 of Reliance the way it panned out!

(also, I’m late, what’s new, lesbian nejiten is coming i promise)

[jackjackal]

Unpopular Opinion...

I don't hate it...but I'm not a huge fan of H2O season 3 (I might even write my own rewrite like I'm doing for HoA)...but here's why:

Bella is GREAT...but she's absolutely no Emma (and she's not supposed to be...I know!) All I'm saying is that her character is a little on the Alex from Totally Spies level (which again is not a bad thing!!) BUT Alex 100% got overshadowed by Clover and Sam...and I think that Bella's the same way in H2O. Rikki and Cleo are just a little bit more interesting character-wise (just in my opinion). Which means Bella is a lot like Sirena in the Mako Mermaids Netflix spinoff...she can sing BEAUTIFULLY, but other than the singing...she really just follows Will around the whole season like a lost little puppy (as does Sirena to David) and she doesn't do much of standing up for herself (at least in episodes 1 - 15). Even her power is kinda a reflection of her character...it's like slime...something that's cool and fun to play with, but eventually you get bored with it. What I mean by this is that she 100% was brought on board for looks (even Bella stans have to admit she has WAY more scenes in fancy dresses and bikini tops than Emma, Cleo, or Rikki) and because of this it muddied the whole theme of the show a bit by going against EVERYTHING H2O stood for (female independence and power...power not from the ability to turn heads or from their mermaid abilities, but from their own strength of character and intelligence, emotional or otherwise). In the end, Bella just does not meet the standards to replace Emma (and I don't think she was meant to...but still). Her character is just not as dynamic...and I think that's one of the things that makes me not rewatch or like S3 as much as S1-2.

They changed ALOT. I said it to one of my friends earlier...S3 is like that episode in S2 when Ash takes over and changes the cafe. It's just too much too soon. The JuiceNet becomes Rikki's, Bella replaces Emma, Will's there (we'll get to him later), Sophie's there (Neo-Charlotte who's less of a good villain), Sam's there, all of them are older by a noticable amount and Zane has a haircut like a 70-year-old, Mako's going insane with creepy tentacle creature thing, and the whole freaking theme song changes to be more fast-paced and "hip" with a lot of what sounds like to me to be autotune. Now I realize change is good and everything...but it really just makes me sad to watch the whole thing. ESPECIALLY when Lewis leaves (I think my heart was crushed and spat on). He was being all cute and romantic in this season with Cleo too :'( BUT, overall I liked a lot of the changes (Bella, as I mentioned was fine just maybe not as good as Emma was, Drummer!Lewis my heart, and I enjoyed the family antics with Sam...so I really didn't mind her being in it, it was cute that Don fell in love <3 ) Summary of this point: I don't like change and Emma was not my fav character but she was MY character (the most like me). When she left...it kinda made me think of things...like am I replaceable?? Anyways...moving on...

Will. Pretty much enough said with that. He's arrogant, too obessed with power and mermaids, and way too mean to Bella. He treats her like dirt most of the season and makes me wonder like...is Will the real villain of S3??? Also they make his character out to be like he's a merman just without the powers (with the whole free diving arc)...and it's honestly kinda like he's a Byron wannabe but also a weird Frankenhybrid of Dr. Denman, Zane, Zac (from Mako Mermaids), Erik (from Mako Mermaids), and idk now I'm just listing people. His character is just kinda strange to me because first of all where the other guys have their faults, they're also sensitive and romantic at times. Will is not. He's just kinda annoying. I even like Nate more than him lol (cause at least his character isn't two-faced like Will's...he's always been NateTM). Anyways...Will and Sophie are like the evil but not evil? dynamic disaster duo of S3. They're both just kinda not fun to watch...which brings me to Sophie.

Sophie. Again, enough said. She's a Charlotte wannabe with all her red hair, snooping problems, and obession with Will (which is kinda a little weird...but not unlike Charlotte's obession with Lewis...except they weren't brother and sister...yikes). She also presses my buttons, which, good job show writers. But it just makes it a little like this has happened before. What's new? Also makes the season a little less rewatchable.

I'm really just ranting at small details now, so I'll get to my last and ultimately largest point. Season 3 lost the magic for me. When I was rewatching for the zillionth time...I noticed this rather huge change. Seasons 1 and 2 I was MESMORIZED. The water, the ocean, the pleasing details of Emma, Cleo, and Rikki having the white, purple, and red motifs throughout, the details of small little scenes like how in the episode with Rikki's father she held a CHIPPED mug and her father held a non-chipped one like she felt her image was broken/imperfect based on their lack of money and less impressive house while the dad could care less and was honestly proud of it (wooooah, okay sorry about that, but like that scene made me sooooo happy as a writer like UGGH...writers/directors made gold with that scene). Anyways, details like this were just not there in S3 (well vitrually not there...there were some like when Sophie wore Rikki's color red to impress Zane)...almost like the whole message changed from being about struggles of being a teenager and growing up to yay mermaids!! And let's focus more on the image/humor of the show as opposed to teaching us important morals. It just...kinda lost it for me. It just was not nearly as magical as S1-2 and I'm not talking actual magic. I'm talking vibes and inner magic...and all that shiz.

Overall...I give S3 a 3.5/5 ⭐️s Decent if you want more of a H2O fanfic experience but just NOT as good as the OG mermaid trio and OG guys (Lewis, Zane, and Ash...Byron you were great too, but not as good as Ash).

Which brings me to Ash...okay, okay jk! I'm not gonna steal more of your life than I already have. But just know that if I get around to my S3 rewrite idea (which I already have the plot decided and everything) then you'll be seeing a lot more of him! Woot! Thanks for reading and putting up with me. Feel free to chat with me anytime your feelings on H2O season 3 or any topic really! I love chating with fellow obsessees!💖🧜‍♀️

[saytrrose]

Do you feel comfortable telling us what happened at your parents' house?

Sure! But be prepared for a long ramble.

My stepmom is a really conservative transphobic narcissist.

My housing plan this year is a tiny room freshman dorm and had a bed, closet and desk. I share it with my bestfriend, Kayla.

My housing plan NEXT year has been decided, I am going to move into a 4 room apartment style dorm, where we all have our own rooms, 2 people each share a bathroom, and we even have a living/kitchen area. I’m very excited!!!

I broke the news to my parents, and said that Kayla and I would share a bathroom on one half of the dorm, and our friends Micheal and Brayden would share the other side.

She expressed concern over two “girls” being with two “guys” and I told her it would be fine because both Brayden and Micheal are gay men, and are engaged to eachother too. To which when she heard this she was “oh okay.”

But then she brought up the possibility of the housing office not allowing us to be co-ed, girls and boys sharing a apartment style dorm together and I had Micheal’s permission to tell my mother that he was a transman, meaning he is afab, to ease her nerves. I explained that the housing office obviously did not care as long as we all knew eachother and agreed on it.

She then proceeded to rant on how gender is so confusing, and for 2 days straight refused to use Micheal’s name, instead referring to him as “the girl who wants to be a boy.”

I told her that it’s not complicated at all, and she asked me “So are they gay or straight?” And I told them they are gay men, which I had already told you prior. She then asked me “well has the wannabe boy had any surgeries?” And that’s when I started to genuinely get pissed off.

I said “First, that’s an inappropriate question to ask. What would you do if a random person kept inquiring on your genitals? It’d be an issue wouldn’t it?” To which she then interrupted me, saying “Oh so they don’t. Yeah I thought so. So they are straight until they get surgery.”

I told her that we are in COLLEGE and that’s a lot of money, time and healing to take into account and Micheal is infact on hormones and looks his gender, acts his gender, sounds like his gender, and so on. I then decided to de-stress, and promptly left the whole house to go on a walk which apparently to her, was very inconsiderate and rude.

On top of all that, she consistently helicopters over me, anytime I touch my phone she’s “what are you doing.” “Who are you texting.” “What are you texting them.” “Why are you doing that on your phone.”

One time I went to my room for a singular hour to go through some of the things I packed and got at the thrift store, just deciding what to leave home and take with me you know, nothing big. I walked out once dinner was done, and she loves to use a bitchy voice and say “look who came out of their room.” “Look who’s alive and decided to join us.” And when I try to say I was literally gone for a fucking hour she accuses me of being too “antisocial.”

Also, we have 5 dogs at our house. Almost all are abused. They live in kennels constantly unless they are ushered outside to potty. There is Jax, poor old man is 14 and has prostate cancer. He has severe arthritis as well and struggles to walk. There is Shepherd, he has one big tumor on his spine and about 5 itty bitty ones around it too- but all non-cancerous. Past his hip bones he is hairless due to skin irritation and scratching/biting. Then there is Mac, the golden lovely child of the house who is the only one not in a kennel ever, roams the house, only one allowed on furniture and more. There is Charlotte, a hurricane Harvey rescue who is a gorgeous and pretty cocker spaniel/poodle. She’s pure black for the exception of white paws and a white heart on her chest. She’s super sweet but gets screamed at everyday for whining in the kennel but good news!! My friend Kayla is in the process of adopting her to help get her out of the house and into a better home. Then there is Pickles, my poor baby that my stepmom hates the most. Just yesterday she was scolded for curling up next to me which was apparently “possessive behavior” so she took her shoe off and beat her in in face 4 times until she was whining and barking- and then got yelled at for getting defensive and snapping once at her.

It’s horrible.

Did I mention all of this is in the span of 24 hours?

More that happened, my stepmom asking me to constantly check the mail to see if my VA check has come in. It comes the first week of each month- sure, but calm down I don’t need to check 3 times a day. Also she only cares so much because my stepmom is blind, is jealous everyone else is putting an effort into their lives and is desperate for some ounce of control and wants us to give her money for her smoking addiction.

Also my check didn’t come in LOL but that’s alright, my awesome sister said she’ll swing but next weekend and snatch it up for me.

It’s just exhausting. Thats just ONE day there- I can’t imagine what summer is going to be like. My sister gave me the idea to get a job like my stepmom wants, but get it here in my college town so I don’t have to be home. Which is genius!! Pickles stays with me, safe and not getting abused. (She’s so scared of everything when she’s home, and it’s so hard to try to help her heal from ptsd when it’s recurring- ik if I do this it will be best for her.) AND I don’t have to be there which fucks with my own mental health.

Also, stepmom isn’t trying to get my money. That’s nice too.

Sorry guys this is more so a vent now, but hey if you read this far than thanks for listening 😭

[glittercakes]

Have you imagined Millie (Dorothea's daughter) being saved by Captain Bolt for the first time ever when she is cornered by a persistent and unwanted suitor at a cruise party?

(Context for other people: Dorothea is the kind and generous aunt of Claude and Charlotte (making Millie their cousin) and Captain Bolt is Pirate!Ash in the Sparkle AU)

Yeah! Captain Bolt may be a huge Casanova Wannabe, but even he knows how to not take his flirting too far! Shame that one of Claude’s friends did not get the memo and started harassing Millie. Captain Bolt witnesses Brent (the jerk in question) cornering her and immediately challenges him to a duel, but he is not willing so he makes the wise decision to back off. Millie is super grateful to him and is also swooning ever so slightly…

[count-alucard-tepes]

how do you imagine the OP hotties react to a s/o being built like elastic girl from the incredibles movie and has her powers/devil fruit? 👀I imagine Kaido having flashbacks with Luffy and a crises every time s/o uses their devil fruit 😭😭😭💀💀💀

Cringes because if it reminds him of a certain wannabe pirate king:

Akainu🌋

Sir Crocodile 🐊

Doflamingo Donquixote 🦩

Benn Beckman 🔫

Kaido🐉

King 👑

Dragon D Monkey 🐉🐒

Oven Charlotte 🍞

Buggy🤡

Eustass Kidd🤘🎸

Gecko Moria🦇

Gild Tesoro⚜️🏅

Rob Lucci🐆

Is just glad his S/O got them cakes🍑:

Kizaru ✨

Ryokugyu 🌱

Fujitora 🐅

Katakuri Charlotte 🍡

Killer🔪

Queen👑

Izou🔫🔫

Marco the Phoenix 🦅

Rosinantè Donquixote aka Cora-San💕

Who’s Who ❤️‍🔥👹

Iceburg💜

[saintmeghanmarkle]

Pathetic attempt at being "royal" - MM copying Charlottes dress highlights "connection" between the real royals and the wannabe Tragedy Tourists Daily Mail writes. by u/GreatGossip

Pathetic attempt at being "royal" - MM copying Charlotte´s dress highlights "connection" between the real royals and the wannabe Tragedy Tourists, Daily Mail writes. https://ift.tt/s5ZmfEP is a new low - because the copycats in Grifter Gardens try to imitate Charlotte there is a connection? Really? It is mainly an article about the dress designer, and as she rightly says "'Being able to purchase an item worn by a member of the Royal Family for one's own child must feel like being part of history in some small way,' she continued.".So anybody with a cloting item similar to the PPOW´s has "a royal connection"?"When Prince Harry and Meghan Markle released their Christmas card featuring a photo of their daughter Princess Lilibet, royal watchers couldn't help but notice a striking detail - her dress closely resembled one previously worn by her cousin, Princess Charlotte.For the Easter Sunday church service in 2022, Charlotte donned a blue and white floral Rachel Riley dress with a Peter Pan collar and hand smocking.The similarity sparked discussions about style and influence, highlighting the connection between the Sussexes and the Wales family, despite reported tensions." post link: https://ift.tt/7wE8gds author: GreatGossip submitted: January 23, 2025 at 10:11AM via SaintMeghanMarkle on Reddit disclaimer: all views + opinions expressed by the author of this post, as well as any comments and reblogs, are solely the author's own; they do not necessarily reflect the views of the administrator of this Tumblr blog. For entertainment only.