#it was bugging me for a while and I needed to get it off my chest

[lizardho]

Before I knew I was bisexual I was just insanely dramatic and weird around guys I liked. I had a crush on this guy in my ward - he was older than me, he played bagpipes and had a cheerful dog and an old Volkswagen bus that he worked on all the time. He also had nice scruff and unnaturally attractive hands and a good sense of humor, so I was like FULLY smitten.

I talked about him a lot and about how he was just so dang COOL, dang it, because he was so frickin’ cool. And I really liked him. I thought he was funny and smart and interesting and cool and fascinating and a bunch of other weird feelings I barely had the attention span to think about (I think my ADHD may have prevented me from coming out for a while tbh).

One day, I’m like 14-15, his dad is called to be my Sunday School teacher. His dad is this ex-military hardass with a chip on his shoulder for absolutely no reason and unattainable standards for his children. He spent most of Sunday School talking shit about his eldest boy and how he was rebellious and didn’t listen to him and how that was going to make him a bad adult and a bad son forever. How his son was too lazy and unmotivated to be successful because he didn’t listen to his advice on how to read the scriptures. He complained about how our generation was too weak to do things right and that our generation would surely be the one that brought the world’s downfall because of our laziness and sin.

And like, first of all, that guy can already go fuck himself for that. To clarify, that’s already stupid. BUT. He was talking about the man I had uncomfortable dreams about at least once a month. I couldn’t stand it. I’d get so mad I’d go home shaking sometimes because how fucking DARE he insult his hardworking stunning son by calling him lazy? For not reading the Bible the way his dad wants? When he’s already spending his time learning bagpipes? And fixing cars? And being cool? And cute? Who the fuck even cares if he uses the footnotes in the Book of Mormon? Who gives a rotten rat’s ass if he doesn’t use the scripture study manual his dad uses? He’s so cool he doesn’t even need it? So fuck off?

And eventually I got fucking Sick Of It and decided to mutiny. And by mutiny, I mean skip class. I’d just not go. And after a bit, adults started noticing and bugging me about it. At first, this was put off by small talk and excuses, but as my absence from Sunday School became more well-known, my excuses began to be rejected.

“Oh, Lizard, why aren’t you in class?” Uhm idk because my Sunday School teacher is mean to his kid and that makes me so mad wtf do you want from me? 🫠🤔

“Where’s your class, I’ll go with you!” Oh no ty I’d rather peel my own eyes than have my taste in men critiqued tyty 🩷

“Lizard, you should go to class, I’m sure they miss you!” And I miss the innocent days where my stomach didn’t hurt when a cool boy I knew was being belittled but unfortunately for us both those days are LONG gone and all that’s left is a budding psychosexual clusterfuck that will render me almost fully incapable of functioning for the better part of a decade so Bye Bye, sister Smith 🙂‍↕️

It had gotten to the point that ward leadership was involved. I was being approached by members of the Young Men’s presidency and the Bishopric to try and make me to back to class. They were telling me God had told them to find me and instruct me on my rebelliousness. This is where I implemented my secret weapon - women. Mormons are weird as hell about a lot of things, but especially about women. And I was GREAT with women. So to combat the leadership’s attention, I started helping women.

Our ward had a lot of new moms with babies who were, as babies tend to be, fussy. But for Mormon women the church is often their only social outlet, so they try to power through as long as they can even if it means enduring the exhausting ordeal of taking care of a fussy baby at church.

For what it’s worth, I have a lot of sway with babies. I got baby street cred. Me and babies have a rapport. I have always known this. I have always loved this. And in this crucial gay time in my faggot life my baby mind powers came in clutch - Every time I saw a member of the bishopric getting close, or a young men’s leader giving me side-eye, I’d start walking slowly towards class, passing by relief society. I’d wait until a mom’s baby had gotten too fussy and needed to leave the room, and I’d swoop in like a knight. “Oh, don’t you worry sister, I’ll bounce him a bit. You go back and hang out with your friends in class. You deserve a break.”

If it was a diaper change or something they’d tell me no. But if it was just some good old-fashioned baby fusses, I mean, they’d be moved almost to tears. They just got their social time back AND a free babysitter who is renowned as the Baby Whisperer. And because I was holding a baby as a favor for someone else, I of course could not reasonably be bothered to return to class.

So just like that, I was out of everyone’s sights. This went on for about a month before the straw that broke the camel’s back, which was that without my class participation the classes were quiet and awkward. I’d often take the brunt of Sunday school lectures by answering questions impulsively and over explaining myself enough that the clock could run out without anyone needing to do or say much. My absence meant everyone else was getting hit with the full unpleasantness of this guy’s bullshit. And so slowly, one-by-one, I had a group of about 8 kids on baby-holding duty. These new moms were so overjoyed, they and their husbands were both so actively in our corner that now chastising us was untenable. Now we had bargaining power. So the Bishopric approached us, confused beyond confused and uncomfortable beyond uncomfortable, and said,

“What’s it gonna take to get you back to class?”

The POWER I possessed in that moment was addictive. By being kind to the women of the ward and ignoring the Mormon de facto Rule of Law of following rules en-masse so the rule breakers feel left out, there were now so many people breaking ranks that we had effectively enacted a church boy labor strike. And they crumbled so fast it was almost like we had swayed God himself to our cause.

“I want brother assholedad gone. He sucks at teaching.”

I didn’t even have to say it. One of my rebels said it for me. I just nodded sagely and said “Yes, his class is not edifying. It’s better to not go and hold babies.”

And just like that, with a snap of my limp-wristed, Christ-wounding, bottom-brained fingers my faggot will was enacted. God’s revelation that brother shitdad was his chosen Sunday school teacher flipped on a dime. Suddenly brother shitdad was asked to be an usher and the fun dad of another one of my crushes was called in to teach us. I still stayed to hold babies a lot, but the rest of the class returned and all was well again.

Although I didn’t recognize it then, I think that was a formative moment for me in a lot of ways. I learned that being really persistently annoying will get me what I want from authority eventually. I learned that God’s will can be swayed by going in strike. I learned that ignoring men’s made up authority forces them to level with you as a person. I learned that caring for women, especially vulnerable women, can make a whole world happier. I learned that letting women rest can help them feel more love for the things that matter in their life. I learned that social bonds make everyone stronger and happier. And I learned that loving others in a gay way can change the world.

Be gayer. Read Terry Pratchett. I love y’all 💕

[slut4thebroken]

Blue

��─ ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──

Pairing | Neil Lewis x reader

Summary | It’s way too easy to find a lab coat lying around, walk the halls of a doctor’s office unnoticed, and read the charts posted outside the rooms to pick a patient (victim).

Warnings | Smut, dubcon, technically non con, deepthroating, filthy oral (duh), throat pie, face fucking, blue balls, used the word ‘balls’ way too many times lol.

Words | 1.2 k

Notes | Based a lil bit on this that I saw the other day lol. Idk what this is tbh but enjoy it you horny bastards.

Ao3 link | <3

Masterlist

“Mr. Lewis?” You asked, peeking in through the door, pleased to find a decently attractive man sitting in a hospital gown on the exam chair. 

“Yeah— yes.” He cleared his throat, blushing a little at his flustered response. “Neil.” You pushed the door open the rest of the way, then closed it behind you, smiling at him. 

“Nice to meet you, Neil. I’ll be checking you out today. What seems to be wrong?”

“I’ve been having some stomach issues. I don’t know, it might just be a bug or something.” 

“I see… Can you lay back for me please?” You walked over and opened some drawers until you found a spare stethoscope, then put it on, pressing it to his lower stomach and nodding a little before moving it somewhere else. “Hm…” You said with a frown. 

“What?” He asked, sounding slightly panicked. 

“I think I know what’s wrong, but I need to do a more thorough examination to be sure. May I lift the gown?” His eyes widened slightly, but he nodded so you lifted the bottom of the gown. “I need you to remove the rest of your clothes.”

“Why?” He choked out. 

“I suspect you may have epididymal hypertension. It’s quite serious, but very treatable.” His eyes widened even more and you could tell that he was getting nervous, but he still pushed his underwear down, then took them off his legs while you placed the stethoscope back in the drawer. “Thank you, Neil. This examination should be painless, though you might feel slight discomfort.” 

Without gloves, you lifted his flaccid cock so it was resting on his stomach, then you cupped his balls, making his breath hitch. Neil was looking anywhere but at you as you fondled and gently squeezed his balls, performing your “examination.”

“It’s as I feared.” You sighed, still cupping them. “I’m sure you’ve noticed the discomfort in your abdomen spreading to your testes. Thankfully, the treatment for this is quick and relatively simple.” With your free hand, you suddenly grasped his cock and started pumping it slowly. 

“W-What the hell are you doing?” He choked out, hips instinctively flinching up toward your hand. 

“Mr. Lewis, if you go any longer without ejaculating, the pain could spread to more parts of your body and become irreversible.” You said sternly, not faltering in your ministrations on his cock and balls. 

“Ejaculating?” He echoed in disbelief. “But I- I just… this morning.” He was struggling to speak as his cock fattened up in your hand. 

“For some men, they can last longer between sessions. But for others, like yourself, they need to release sperm multiple times a day or they risk it building up to an unsafe amount.” You explained, picking up the pace on his cock. 

“Because of the severity of your condition, a simple extraction with just my hands won’t suffice.” That was all you said before diving down and throating his cock all in one go. 

“Fuck!” His hips bucked wildly, so you used your hand that was previously on his cock to hold him down and limit his movement. “T-This… doesn’t seem- professional.” He managed to choke out, barely able to speak as he writhed on the exam table. You bobbed up and down on his length quickly, drooling and gagging on his cock as it kept getting fatter and harder in your mouth. He threw his head back with a groan, his hands tightly gripping the edges of the chair.  

You moaned around his cock, then suddenly pulled off, spitting on it obscenely before diving down to give his balls some attention. His cock twitched on his stomach as you licked, sucked, and kissed all over, making a slobbery mess of saliva. When he started whining and squirming, you grabbed his cock to resume stroking it while you lavished his aching balls. 

“Holy shit,” he said through a breath, his back arching off the chair. 

“They’re so swollen…” You mumbled against him, then your tone turned more stern as you chastised him, “You can’t let it get this bad, Neil.”

“I- I’m sorry.” He mewled, the words trailing off into another moan. 

“You should be. This kind of thing can be very dangerous.” He whined loudly when you pulled away from his balls, still stroking his cock. “If you don’t drain your balls at least twice a day from now on, your condition will continue to get worse, do you understand?” 

“Yes.” He choked out, his eyes rolling back in his head. 

“Do you need to come now?”

“Oh god- please.” He sobbed, his hips bucking and squirming relentlessly under your touch. 

“Give me every last drop or we’ll have to do the treatment again.” Neil nodded dumbly in response. You leaned down to start sucking his cock again, your hand moving back to his balls that were starting to draw up into his body as he got closer to his orgasm. You practically sucked the life out of him with the way you were rapidly going up and down on his cock, taking it in your throat, choking and gagging on it, spit dribbling down to his balls. 

“F-Fuck… I’m so close.” He whined, starting to thrust his hips up in time with your movements, meeting you halfway. You let him do it, using one hand to brace yourself on his thigh while the other played with his balls. 

“Every drop.” You reminded him, barely pulling away enough to get the words out. He was panting heavily, grunting and moaning, his cock twitching in your mouth, and his balls tightening up, preparing to unload. 

“…Coming-” was all he could get out before his hips violently bucked up into your mouth. He let out a loud moan, his balls pulsing in your hand as they pumped out ropes of come through his cock and down your throat. You moaned around him, not stopping until you completely drained him dry. 

When you finally pulled back, both of you were breathing heavily. Neil kept his eyes closed as he recovered while you did another physical examination of his balls, making him whine because of how sensitive he was. 

“They feel less swollen already.” You smiled. “How do they feel?”  

“Good.” He murmured, still come drunk. 

“That’s good. Remember, Neil, at least twice a day.” He nodded and you pulled the gown back into place, then cleared your throat and wiped away the remaining spit from your lips and chin. “I’ll send a nurse in to give you your visit summary.” 

“M’kay.” He mumbled sleepily, smiling a tiny bit. “Thanks.” 

“Of course. I’m glad I could help.” You opened the door quietly and peaked out, then quickly left the room and closed the door behind you, making your way to the bathroom. Once inside, you took off the lab coat you had found earlier and stuffed it in the trash can. 

Neil was definitely your favorite so far. Either he was too dumb to realize something was off about his “doctor” or he was just so starved for female attention that he didn’t care. Either way, you loved that he barely put up a fight or asked any questions, and you felt more than satisfied for today after “treating” him.

[banana-can-do-art]

It is my life’s purpose to convert everyone in my immediate vicinity to whatever piece of media is currently rotting out my brain lol. This also often includes people who have absolutely no interest but you cannot stop me from rambling dang it!!! I have too many thoughts!!!

I actually need the RSA kids to overblot while Vil is in the background just saying “slay,” with the hand motion and everything lol. Actually I think I’d be really funny if Neige overblotted in Vil’s presence and Vil was just like see he’s a mess too yeeeeeeesss. Although I think that while Niege does have a stage persona, he is a genuinely nice person. I’ve seen people be like well actually Neige is secretly evil!!! But that would completely go against Vil’s entire character arc! Vil hates Neige because he represents how he is never good enough, and because since they are both child actors in that extremely messed up industry, they have both had competitiveness drilled into them and so Vil despised Neige, bug Neige had never actually done anything to him. There is no logical reason to hate him because Niege has never been anything but kind to Vil. That said, it doesn’t mean we couldn’t get a cool overblot out of him if we do RSA overblots because he has a whole tragic backstory and is likely doing the Kalim move of everything is fine actually and is stuck in the same extremely toxic industry that Vil is. Actually when I played through Vil’s overblot in book five I was a little disappointed that they didn’t directly talk about how bad the child acting industry is and how it affected Vil, and instead they focused more on the type casting. Which there’s definitely still subtext in there about it and I think that plays a really big role in Vil’s character even if they refuse to explicitly say it, but still I was hoping they would acknowledge it a bit more beyond subtext. Although, this is Disney, they’re very guilty in that department, so that might be why.

Yeah maybe they did think the Lion Ming nostalgia would carry it over, but the other dorms were based off of great movies with iconic villains too but they didn’t have one to one copies of the villain’s backstory from the movie. So idk.

Yes I love how the people in the dorms will get so upset with their housewardens but if someone from another dorm says something they get so mad lol. Like how Ortho is constantly telling Idia to go outside and touch grass, but in book five when the other kids are talking about Idia being weird he’s like STOP TALKING ABOUT MY BROTHER!!!!!!

Omg now I’m just imagining the characters trauma dumping to an actual camera, and Yuu just has an archive of videos of all of the students having mental breakdowns.

Guys, I love the heartslabyul dream arc and I understand they probably did the order for plot reasons so they could have certain characters in some dreams and not in others but like… THE CHARACTERS NAMES ARE 1234 AND YOU DID THE DREAM ORDER AS 2413!!! WHAT?!?! On that note actually, why is Trey named Trey and Cater named Cater? Because rank in the dorm wise we have 1 and 2 as the freshmen and then you would think that the normal junior would be 3 and then the vice housewarden would be 4 but noooo the normal junior is 4 and the vice housewarden is 3. How does this make any sense? This puts the power order at 1243! I’m not saying Cater should have been vice, I’m saying Trey and Cater should have swapped names. Like I’m sorry, your characters names are 1234 and you couldn’t even do us the basic courtesy of ordering them properly?!?! Am I the only one bamboozled by this? (I saw opportunity to use the word bamboozled, I took opportunity to use the word bamboozled. Now I have used the word bamboozled even more times you see.) idk maybe it’s supposed to be weird because it’s Alice in Wonderland or something but come on!!!

[md-reblogs-and-textposts]

Ranting about the mischaracterization of N

Tw for: Self-harm, violence+death, and much more.

So, N is supposed to have a more "Golden Retriever" type of character, it's made pretty obvious throughout the episodes. With this type of character, however, comes the mischaracterization and babying from the fandom that kinda bugs me.

Yes, N is very happy and light-hearted a lot of the time, and does have Golden Retriever characteristics. That's what a lot of the fandom (including me) loves about him, but that's not what I plan to rant about today. I'll go more in-depth at a later time about that part.

This will go into a part that a lot (not all) of the fandom doesn't exactly mention, and it adds a lot more depth into his character. Each claim will have evidence from the episodes, as well as some stuff I guessed just from context.

N is very serious and protective when it comes to V in the pilot episode, even going so far as to genuinely try to kill Uzi to protect V. Despite having his memory reformatted, he clearly still cares very deeply for V, showing he'd very clearly kill someone for those he cares about, but only if he knows they pose a genuine threat. He has displayed this behavior when protecting Uzi, too.

Quote: "I'm sorry. I really enjoyed our time together, but I can't have you shooting V with that thing." (Pilot episode, shortly after N breaks into the bunker.)

Evidence: N cutting Cyn/Tessa's head off when Cyn was pretending to be Tessa, literally all of episode 8, etc.

N has shown to have awareness of horrible things he may have caused, and while a lot of the fandom knows this is a given, I've seen some posts saying the opposite.

Quote: "I was the PILOT?! That's awesome-! (I crashed and ruined everything...)" (Episode 2, when Uzi shows the pilot hat to N, while in the pod.)

N shows very avoidant tendencies towards anything he may not know about, but on the other hand, he'll look into things if it may be a danger to others, or himself.

Avoidant:

Quote: "I actively avoid unpacking how that works." (Episode 2, when Uzi, Thad, and N go to investigate the disappearances in the bunker.)

Investigative: N shooting up at the ceiling in episode 2, revealing Cyn's weird Eldrich form and/or J's spooky lookin horror broken form that Cyn speaks through temporarily while repairing J.

No evidence/Context clues+my thoughts:

N was literally rebuilt and reprogrammed to kill others, and this is still a large part of him. Back in the mansion, he would definitely have been disturbed by the thought, though. He was made to serve, not kill.

TW: Self harm+harmful thoughts

N displays behavior that is common in people with mental illness (specifically depression) in episode 7. Everything has clearly affected him, and he hasn't been able to cope well with it.

Evidence: N starts to cut his arm off (yes, I know it was to get out of the rubble, but there were other intentions added onto it), specifically while saying "I deserve this". Not "I have to do this" "I need to get out" No. He specifically said "I deserve this".

There's more but I'm tired. Feel free to comment, I'll add it to this post later on!

[ohblimeygeorge]

So I’m probably gonna get stick for this but something about a lot of the wags being invited for the Charlotte Tilbury f1 Academy event just rubs me the wrong way. Like F1 Academy is meant to be (and doing a good job) at highlighting women in motorsport and Susie’s doing an incredible job at it all, but the wags being invited to an event just for freebies and to ‘promote’ F1 Academy just seems all kinds of wrong.

For one, (and take this as the bitchy comment it is) none of them are these famous influencers they seem to think they are 🤷🏼‍♀️ so they don’t really have the audience to promote anything to bc their audience is basically full of fan girls of the drivers who most likely already know about F1 Academy and what it’s all about. Plus none of them are actually promoting it they’re just posting their pics with their make up and pr goodies and tagging. That’s not really promoting. I’d be more convinced if they had at least videos of them chatting to the drivers, answering questions to prove they’ve actually watched races, etc. Correct me if I’m wrong but I’ve not seen any of them really showing proper support for it beforehand but suddenly they’re all fans lol? Also I find it interesting that there are 2 girlfriends on the grid who are actual female athletes - Lily Muni He and Tiffany Cromwell. But neither of them are involved in the event nor the pic of the wags on the track today, when they are both there too. These 2 are the perfect way to help bring in more female fans/females in motorsports or just sports in general. They have audiences of their own, not just their bf’s fans and actually know how to engage in enticing new people in - they’ve pushed themselves through in their indvidual mainly male dominated sports. I would’ve loved to have seen them interact with the drivers and get involved! (I’m aware it very much could be them deciding not to but when the only 2 athletes aren’t involved and the other wags are.. Mm it looks strange to me). Having just wannabe influencers who are already from very privileged backgrounds be the faces of this latest promotion is just pure stupidity if I’m honest. Not one little girl is gonna look at that and think ‘yeah I’m gonna work really hard and get into motorsports!’ All they’ll see is flashy lifestyles and easy money. And let’s be clear, I’m not here to purely hate on them it’s just so disappointing tbh. The money spent on the pr freebies for the wags could’ve been used to spend it on the current F1 Academy drivers or the up and coming young girls not wannabe influencers who will keep it on their ig stories for 24 hours then never speak of it again bc they’ve got their picture showing their ‘support’ there now. Idk really it all just gives me a massive ick and tbh I might as well just say it bc I’m digging myself a hole here anyway lol but none of these women seem genuine at all.

I just wanna see more real hard work and determination and actual role models for the younger generation of girls not the glitz and glamour this latest wave of wags/F1 in general has brought.

[moonchild-in-blue]

I just want everyone to know that in the span of 3 days, I have made 3 loads of laundry, and have a 4th already sorted and ready to go (which includes towels / blankets / bedding). I still need to fold them and put them away BUT the important part is done 🥹

[hana-bobo-finch]

what a precious little guy. i hope nothing bad ever happens to him

[sparklehoard]

Aaah. So it's neverending huh.

[im2tired4usernames]

Me: I need some time for myself I need some time to decompress after constant work and high stress and responsibility you guys dump on me with no time for me to think or be by myself to rest and focus on my hobbies since I can't get that from you guys ever during the week I'm taking a day I WOULD get paid and go to my actual for real paying job so I can just rest so I hopefully stop daydreaming about killing myself.

My family: OK BUT WHAT IF THIS LIL "EXTRA FREE TIME WAS MORE UNPAID LABOR FOR THE FAMILY HUH WHAT IF WE JUST TAKE THAT TIME N USE IT TO DUMP MORE WORK ON YOU AND THEN MAKE YOU FEEL GUILTY FOR WANTING FIVE SECONDS WITH OUT A CHILD SCREAMING IN YOUR FACE OR A SOAPY DISH RAG N YOUR HAND WHAT IF WE DO WHAT THE LORD IS CALLED US AND DO SOMETHING PRODUCTIVE WITH OUR LIVES WE CANT GET IT DONE BY OURSELVES WE NEED YOU TO TAKE ON THE WORKLOAD OF THREE PEOPLE AND DO IT WITH A SERVANT'S HEART AND A SMILE ON YOUR FACE!

me: do I look forward to dying so I can get some actual rest?

[coridallasmultipass]

It took me, ugh, MONTHS (2), to get to cleaning the two shrimp tanks I have... I had IRL issues going on that would have made it extremely difficult to do a water change especially while injured, and I just had to keep putting it off. It's just shrimp, so it wasn't like, the worst situation, especially since I have established plants and the tanks are a couple years old. There was just a lot of algae build-up on the glass, and, well... Let me just say it was not contributing to my mental health and well-being while the tanks were in that state.

I tested the water before I started cleaning and the parameters were fine (like, I could have left the tanks even longer if I would be okay with selling my soul to the Algae Collective), and the plants and shrimp look fine, too (I mean, I've obviously been keeping an eye on the tanks bc I sit right next to them). Actually, I'd wager to say that the plants are looking really great (the lilies haven't died off [yet? This is the longest period of time I've seen them stay... foliage... fol... foliated? Idk.] and the cryptocoryne in the 10gal is fucking huge and needs to be rearranged, just not right now). That fucking algae was a motherfucker to get off the 10gal (it's a plastic tank and I think that makes the algae grip harder than the glass 5gal).

[Also, fyi, depending on the tank's needs and stability, recommended water changes are a small one every week or every other week. My parameters don't seem to do anything dramatic, so I usually aim for a 20-30% water change every third week (just depends on how much vacuuming needs to be done and how cooperative the shrimp are with moving aside). So 2 months is still a lot. I still did the normal 30% ish amount, since doing more will risk the shrimp's well-being if there's a sudden change in everything, and my water parameters indicated a change was unnecessary - but I don't test for more than the minimum freshwater tests, so there could be a buildup of some mineral I'm not testing for, which is why the change IS actually necessary regardless of what my test kit says - because these tanks were evaporating a lot in summer, it condenses the minerals added with each water addition, even tho I usually top up with R.O. water.]

My back is fucking killing me lol. It has been killing me since spring when it 'went out' for the first time, and I'm not getting any relief, it sucks. But this had to be done.

The 5gal is looking pretty cloudy still, since the filter was super gunked up and I accidentally spilled gunk back in, so I may need to retest the 5gal parameters tomorrow just to make sure I don't have to do another water change, but it'll probably be fine, right? Shrimp love mulm and detritus. I did give both tanks a big ole algae tab for their trouble, tho. (I need a fuckening dish for the big tank. I really wanna clean off that white quartz rock again, but being white means it's an algae magnet, and it's just gonna go green again after a month or two.)

Anyway, shrimp tax:

I lov thees widdle oange bebies.

Wish I could take better pictures rn, but I am. Like. Dying. My recommendation: never live in an A-frame style room if you have the option. The wall above my tanks is slanted, and NOT fun for my back to bend underneath the wall for maintenance. (My only flat wall in the room is for my TV/PC.) Also, treat your back nicely, in general. I unfortunately have not had the option to treat my back nicely since spring (fall now), because 'when it rains it pours,' and heavy shit that needs to be moved will not move itself. Once I get a few more things in my room in order, I will hopefully be done with the IRL chaos, bc I have Halloween socks to knit, and I'm not putting that off for another year. (I'm still mad that I couldn't make the ones I planned last year. And I found more Halloween yarn I forgot I bought, so I'm gonna try to make multiple socks.) And I just really need to fucking chill and knit and stop having panic attacks and meltdowns.

[tiddie-taylor]

People complain about sadness being fat and sad and joy being thin and happy. but if you switched it around people would probably complain that Joy is the stereotype that all fat people are jolly, like???

[sensitivegoblin]

I need to watch Hazbin Hotel with a dom who will go thru the 5 stages of greif with me😭

[akqrus]

Some Adrien anti commented on my post and invalidated Adrien's experience with emotional abuse... I hope u choke on shit 🥺🫶🏼

[badolmen]

“Hey! Where the hell have you been? I know you said work has been busy in the group chat but…” She trailed off, her playful and teasing expression shattered when she saw my face.

And that was the last straw, I guess, as I unceremoniously burst into tears on the sidewalk outside of the cafe. Clara held me in her arms as I sobbed, with Mac and Liz helping to herd us into some quiet corner and order our drinks.

A few sips into an industrially made double espresso with mint syrup and I was feeling human again. As human as I could be given the circumstances. Clara helped settle down the quills that ruffled my hair, carding her fingers through the tangles left from sleepless nights.

“What happened?” Mac was the one that finally asked, his voice soft as he slid a bagel over to me. After all this time he still remembered how I once insisted on exchanges for information.

“They came back. They’re home.” My voice still felt raw, echoing in my skull as I worked to keep my tongue in human language. When Clara and Liz exchanged a confused look, I continued. “My family’s home. My mom, my brother, two sisters.” I swallowed another mouthful of too-hot coffee. It didn’t burn as much as I wanted it to.

“What?” Mac’s voice cracked, a rough cough returning him to his smoother register. “What the hell? I thought - I knew you still talked to them but like, what the actual hell?”

“It’s complicated.” I dropped my head, holding it in my hands. “I’m just - it’s overwhelming.”

“The good kind or the bad kind?”

“Clare, is there ever a good kind of overwhelming?”

“You know what I mean - like,” she turned to me as she continued, “are you happy they’re home?”

Was I?

“I’m not…mad that they’re home.”

“But...?”

“I can’t keep this up.” I dropped my voice to a whisper. “But I can’t just - just kick them out on the street either.”

“You don’t have to - isn’t it, like, a sin for your folk to overstay their welcome? I thought manners were super strict over there.”

“I don’t think they can go back.” I shot Mac a nervous glance. “Have you been able to get in contact with anyone beyond the veil lately?” There was a flicker of anxiety in his eyes as he shrugged.

“No. I - I just thought the veil was too thick this time of year.” He glanced around the cafe, voice dropping an octave. “Have you tried calling your dad?”

My laugh was bitter but barely lasted a breath. I hadn’t thought to try a summons. To be fair, I hadn’t been thinking much beyond the ever present threat of my brother burning down the house in his sleep or my sister adding rat poison instead of fish pellets to the aquarium.

“It’s just been - it’s been a lot. I don’t think he could help, even if he wanted to.” As powerful as an archfae was, even his power was bound to his realm.

And mom hadn’t mentioned him at all since she came home. Which didn’t seem like a good sign.

The silence that lapsed over the table was comfortable, lattes cooling and tea steeping bitter. Anxiety crept into my bones. Had I over shared? Gods, they probably had their own bullshit family problems they were dealing with and I was being an asshole and a whiny bitch for making it all about me -

“Oh fuck off.” Liz threw a balled up napkin at me, hitting me straight in the face. I was so stressed and overtaxed I forgot my warding runes at home. Damn psychics. “What did all of you do when I was in the hospital dying ‘cause my immune system shit the bed and my feeding tube was blocked?”

“We…took turns taking care of your cat and visited you when we could.” I furrowed my brow, confused. “What does that have to do with - ”

“Mac, what did they do for you when you broke both legs, while shifted on a full moon two states away, and animal control caught you?” Across the table, Mac’s eyes sparked with an understanding I couldn’t grasp yet.

“You drove like hell, charmed three different cops, and let me sleep in the back of your car even though I shed and you hate vacuuming.” His toothy smirk tossed the question to Clara, who took my hand under the table and squeezed it gently.

“You’ve always been there for me. Even after my folks kicked me out, even before they knew. You’ve always been here for us.” She wrapped a heavy arm over my shoulders, and I let myself sigh into her embrace. “Let us be here for you. Alright?”

It wasn’t like they were going to give me much of a choice.

“What was it you told me when we were building that chicken coop? ‘Lift with your legs and for fuck’s sake don’t carry it alone if it feels too heavy.’”

“Yeah, well that’s because you threw your back out. Twice, you dumb dog.” There were still tears in my voice, but I felt better as I looked around my friends with a contented sigh. Mac feigning offense, Liz offering exaggerated comfort from her chair, and Clara’s warm, human hand in mine.

The burden was heavy, but many hands made light work.

Edit: Donate to Palestinians in Gaza

All of your siblings, papart from you, have attended a prestigious wizarding school. Now, after all these years, they’re back in your “regular” world… and don’t even know how an oven works.

[camvrin]

yall my fuckin voice hurts I HATE DOROTHYS VOICE DIRECTION

[plainclothesdisaster]

DPxDC Mechanical Engineer Danny

Danny caught the attention of Batman while studying at Gotham University for his alternative energy projects. He’s hired right out of college to work on the Watchtower.

He shows absolutely no tell of his abilities till there’s a dire situation- Flash’s electric discharge messes with one of his projects in progress and the whole base would have lost air pressure if he hadn’t done a quick fix using telekinesis and ice.

Of course Batman notices.

Batman assumes the worst- he suspects Danny’s a rogue of some kind, someone who has infiltrated the Justice League with an ulterior motive. But he can’t just fire Danny now- he’s the only one who knows how the new Watchtower energy source works. Plus, he’s not letting Danny go anywhere until he’s figured out his true motives.

Cue Batman subtly testing Danny- tossing things at him to trigger inhuman fast reflexes, having him lift too-heavy machinery, setting up convenient opportunities to steal or snoop or otherwise be up to no good. Danny does take advantage but only once, to use a computer terminal with unlocked clearance. He didn’t plant any bugs that Barman could find, and he otherwise kept up his powerless civilian act perfectly.

Still, Batman’s not satisfied. He brings an infrasonic sound emitter to Danny’s lab one day, and that, of all things, is what gets Danny to break.

“I know what you’re doing,” Danny admits with a sigh, finally. “If you’re really that suspicious of me, I can leave, but I kinda like my job so I’d prefer not to. The benefits are insane compared to what’s standard.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“Sure. yeah. How about you turn off the freaking noise generator and we can talk?”

“Hm.” Batman obliges, and he takes the stool next to Danny at his gesture.

“Number one, I’m not a meta. Despite all the data and conclusions you’ve probably drawn otherwise. Number two, I’m on your side. I’m here to work on the base, that’s it. I follow your rules to the letter.”

“The-“

“The classified files I looked at? Yeah that was the one exception. You already know what I looked at, I’m sure, but maybe you haven’t figured out why. It goes back to point one- I may not be a meta, but I am something that organization, the GIW, cares about. I looked at your files on them to sus out your relations. Seeing as I don’t particularly love being the victim to twelve degrees of human rights violations if I can avoid it.”

“Hm.” The Ghost Intelligence Ward was one of many government agencies that the Justice League hadn’t worked closely with. But they also hadn’t been flagged for Justice League investigation. Danny’s comments made him doubt that call.

“Any other questions?”

“If you’re not a meta, what are you?”

“I’m an engineer. A pretty decent one. And I’d really, really like it to stay that way.”

Batman considers, and ultimately lets him stay. He likes Danny (everyone likes Danny), and it would be a massive pain in the ass to replace him. He really is a good engineer.

It’s only much later that his faith in Danny is repaid in spades.

Batman finds Danny on the Watchtower command bridge. Alarms are blaring, the station has been knocked out of orbit, out the window there’s shrapnel floating everywhere as a space battle rages around them.

On the station it’s chaos. Technicians run around, shouts from the med bay, sparks from the walls.

Batman and Danny stand at the main controls, watching the battle outside, stoic, unmoving.

Wonder Woman’s harried voice crackles through on coms: “We need backup.”

“There is no more backup.” Batman replies, while looking pointedly at Danny.

“What?”

Batman doesn’t move.

“What.”

“The impact from Darkseid’s initial attack should have sent this station on a terminal trajectory toward the planet.”

“Well. We aren’t currently plummeting to our deaths, so turns out it didn’t do that.”

“You did something.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“You’re lying.”

“Maybe Superman nudged us back on course in all the chaos.”

“I’ve been watching the trackers. No one else with the capability has come near the station.”

“Can’t you just be grateful we got lucky?”

Sounds of peril screech over the coms. Danny’s face scrunches.

“Luck had nothing to do with it. As it is now, we are going to lose this fight.”

“Isn’t there anyone else you can call?”

“I’m asking you. You can help, can’t you?”

The glare-off lasts a long moment more before Danny breaks.

“Fuck. Fuckity fuck.” Danny runs his hands through his hair. “Shit. You don’t know what you’re asking.”

“I’m asking you to save this and countless other worlds from a genocide. I’m also asking you to save my friends.”

Danny looks at him, hard, weary, and with a kind of deep resolve that feels far too ancient to be on the face of a supposed twenty-something.

“Fine. Fine. Okay.” He steps back and transforms. If Batman is surprised when he shakes off his human appearance like an old coat, he doesn’t show it. But what’s undeniable is the being in Danny’s place has the unmistakable presence of power.

“No one else can know.” His voice echoes in a way that’s sonically impossible, both sounding closer and further away than he should be.

He pulls a gear-shaped medallion seemingly out of thin air and puts it over his head in one motion.

“If I get in trouble for this, I’m blaming you.”

He vanishes. Outside, the shape of the battle changes instantly. The stars seem to glow brighter as the arms of the galaxy flash with the colors of the aurora. Then it’s like the void of space itself comes alive. It moves the spaceships back like they’re toys, plucking them from one side of the field to the other. It finds Darkseid at the heart of the chaos and massive arms of nothingness and darkness wrap around him. He’s screaming as it swallows him whole.

His armies scatter. The battle turns. The JL deal with the stragglers, but the air of relief is palpable.

Danny reappears next to Batman, once again donning his grease-stained coveralls. Arms folded.

“Happy?”

It took all of five minutes. Less, probably. Batman tamps down a thousand questions.

“Thank you.”

“I’m gonna need two weeks off minimum.” Danny snaps. “One to deal with the bureaucratic nightmare you’ve just caused me, and another to recover from the headache.”

Batman blanks. “Granted.”

Danny sighs. “And I’m not fixing the station until I’m back. It won’t fall out of the sky as is. Make up whatever excuse you want.”

“Done.” He considers. “I would prefer to tell them the truth. That you saved us.”

Danny glares. “I’m not supposed to save you. I made a pact not to use my power to influence the mortal realm.”

“A pact with who?”

Danny rolls his eyes. “The embodiment of Time. The concept of Justice. Among others.” He smirks at Batman’s confusion.

“And what, exactly, does that make you?”

He stands, framed by the space window, haloed by the stars. “I’ll give you three guesses.”

Batman frowns.

“Look. I like you guys. I like working on your base. I like supporting the work you do. But you can not go factoring me in to any of your plans or contingencies. This was a one time thing.

“So to answer your question again: I’m an engineer.”