#i know its out of love/concern because hes very financially very successful and its tough seeing your kids work so hard and still be poor

[sparklehoard]

Aaah. So it's neverending huh.

[veronicamarsconfessions]

Joel Silver, The Ruthless Producer (But He Wouldn’t Allow Logan To Be Killed)

This blog talks a lot about Joel Silver and his influence on pop culture (especially his role in Veronica Mars). He is well known as one of the “Bosses From Hell” in Hollywood and yet he is the lesser evil from other producers like Harvey Weinstein and Scott Rudin. Which is not a compliment whatsoever. But he is known as very protective with his assets such as his TV shows.

It is surprising that we hardly heard about sexual misconduct allegations against women/men (yet) especially during this decade alone. According to many, he is not interested that much in sexual hedonism as he is more concerned with being on top of the food chain. He is a married flamboyant producer who is deeply serious about his investments. He is always at the movie/tv set, watching everything like a hawk, making sure that everything is working accordingly. He dislikes unprofessional behavior from actors or showrunners, and most of the time, he just loathes writers. “Writers sometimes don’t know what works and what’s not. I don’t care if you are a brilliant writer, but I know better than anyone else in this business.”

That is the young Joel Silver, playing a frustrated director named Raoul in the movie 'Who Framed Roger Rabbit'. According to interviews, Raoul was based on himself but more tamer.

Joel Silver was a type of producer who likes to change a lot of the source materials, to the chagrin of the creators. Many just saw him as this tough guy producer who is very meticulous and wants the job done properly. Sources said that he liked to yell a lot, but hardly physical towards his employees (unlike Scott Rudin).

This is why it was so shocking that he and Rob Thomas had a fistfight argument at the Veronica Mars set. Rob must’ve pissed him off so bad that he resolved to a fistfight. According to a TVGuide interview, Rob said that Joel wanted to have Tara Reid as Trina Echolls and Paris Hilton to be put in the show as a guest star while promoting the House of Wax movie. Rob hated the idea and Joel didn’t take it lightly. Their brawl was reported to many blogs and forums back then.

Joel was frustrated and furious that Rob was adamant about his vision, citing that he knows more about what works and what’s not in the industry, and that includes casting and storylines. Rob insisted that Veronica should be with the love of her life, which was Duncan Kane. Both Joel and Rob head-butted about this because Joel knew that Logan was more a compatible and popular character than Duncan. Not liking the idea of being blackballed all the time, Rob wrote Logan as insufferable in season 2, hoping that fans would turn against the character.

The plan backfired as the fans at the time rejected Duncan instead. Diane Ruggiero even admitted that they were reading the feedbacks especially from Television Without Pity and she said that they didn’t have a choice but to get rid of Duncan. At the time, they also didn’t know whether the show was going to be renewed or not in season 3, especially during the merger between UPN and WB to form The CW. The fans’ voice was clear: they wanted LoVe (Logan & Veronica) to be together. This didn’t bode well with Rob, but the fans (and Joel) have spoken. He finally got rid of Duncan by sending him off to Australia with his baby. And that was it, the end. Logan and Veronica got back together.

But season three came, and another obstacle came in a form of Dawn Ostroff (the president of CW) who wanted some changes in the show for the network to be more teen-friendly. Gone the whole Noir and mystery style, they focused more on the white teen drama and a love triangle. At this moment, Joel decided to stay behind the scene. He was no longer hovering, he had other projects, other money to pursue. He still co-owned Veronica Mars. But he was no longer involved much.

When Veronica Mars was canceled, Joel immediately snatched Jason Dohring - he approached Jason "out of the blue” and said, “There's a role, and I'm making it younger". Joel offered the main role of the CBS vampire procedural series Twilight to Jason before it was changed into Moonlight. Jason read two pages of the script featuring Josef Kostan and was interested in the character's "dark" and "sharp" personality. Jason had to go through the normal audition process and was not sure he would have gotten the role without Joel Silver, who had "pushed it through to the end". Joel noticed very early that Jason had a main protagonist charisma so he fought for him to be cast as Josef Kostan. Jason’s performance was praised by many critics and fans alike as this sarcastic manipulative vampire. Unfortunately, the writing of the show was atrocious and the rating was abysmal because of the Writers Guild strike and they had to hire ghostwriters to keep going. After one season, Moonlight was canceled and it was another money down the drain for Joel.

When the idea of a movie was pitched, Joel said the movie would NEVER HAPPEN. “There are no fans for this market. Sales of DVDs and merchandise are nonexistent.” Joel was thinking as a producer; no sales for the merchandise = no fans, which is wrong, obviously. But that was the way many producers thinking at the time, and still are. After his company severing ties with the Warner Brothers, Joel was no longer interested in any mention of the Veronica Mars movie. Knowing that Joel would not approve of the Kickstarter, Rob and KBell decided to go straight to Warner Bros head honcho Kevin Tsujihara and asked for a chance to get a Veronica Mars movie funded by the fans. The movie then was made, and Joel was proven wrong for this particular moment.

Sharks however started to circling Veronica Mars movie - a lot of producers started to take an interest in the Kickstarter when they found out that it became successful and a phenomenon — notorious producer Harvey Weinstein wanted to grab the rights of Veronica Mars and he boasted that he could make it more successful under his Miramax banner. But his rival, Joel Silver, wouldn’t have any of it. Joel might not be responsible with the Kickstarter, but he sure the hell would burn a swimming pool first before Miramax steals VMars.

Rob and Joel have a “good work” relationship - they definitely aren't friends in real life, but most of the time they avoid each other except in public events and red carpets. Their relationship is mostly being tolerant of each other. Joel didn't even bother to come to the Veronica Mars movie red carpet even though he was the executive producer of the movie and this franchise was a part of his life. Many thoughts for him not attending the red carpet were to avoid any embarrassment because he said that there were no fans of Veronica Mars. If it was allowed, Rob would say ‘fuck you’ to Joel as he strutted on the red carpet during the premiere of the Veronica Mars movie at the Chinese Theater.

However, when HULU took an interest in a VMars miniseries, Rob asked Joel for a favor, which is to get Kristen Bell to work around NBC The Good Place contract. As HULU is a part of Viacom and also an umbrella company for CBS and CW where VMars reside, technically she couldn't and was not allowed to be working with a rival company. So Joel helped Rob by calling the NBC president Noah Oppenheim to lend Kristen Bell to HULU temporarily. No words or interview about how Joel thinks about season 4 and how they killed off Logan Echolls; a character he protected during his reign back then. It is obvious if he was in charge of Veronica Mars season 4, he would scold Rob Thomas for killing the Golden Goose or maybe already stopping him before it happened. He might have a soft spot for Jason Dohring himself, calling him a “talented actor but too quiet for this industry”.

Joel Silver seems to have moved on from Veronica Mars and its tumultuous relationship within. He has a bigger problem than handling a franchise that has crashed and burned because it flew too close to the sun; namely being sued for the death of an assistant and the fact that he was kicked out from his own company (Silver Pictures) by the company CFO Daryl Katz, and also he is a bit struggling with financial means. But no matter what, Joel Silver was a part of Veronica Mars with its complicated history. And he definitely has no problem keeping going - after all, he is one of the notorious bosses in Hollywood.

[emmies-archives]

A Place To Call Home

I do not own BNHA or its characters

Bakugo Katsuki X Reader

Warnings: Unapproving parents..... Long

Word Count: 4.6k

Summary: You become close with your classmates, especially Bakusquad and realize your dream is different than what your parents forced onto you. While explaining your reason to become a hero to them you get kicked out, Bakugo lets you stay in his dorm after you arrive at heights alliance.

Writing Prompt: “I need a place to stay.” from @pink-imagines​ Thanks for the great prompts! This was my first imagine! :)

The icy winds that were whipping around tore at your skin like frostbite. It was absolutely ridiculous how the weather could turn from a gentle dusting of snow to the torrent of icy rain in such a small amount of time. It was almost like it mirrored how your day panned out. Your mood when you left UA after the final class ended was very pleasant and you were almost excited to arrive back home.

Today’s lessons were very eye-opening for you, they were on how the citizens view heroes and their work. Before today, you had thought the only reason you were striving to become a hero was so you could achieve what your parents hoped of you. They were both very successful pro heroes, and very strong too. They wanted their only child to follow their joint legacy and show the public how strong your family had become. Their ideals were not unlike Endeavor's view on strength, that it made someone who they were. Your parents thought the stronger you were, the more money you would end up making. It wasn’t like your parents were poor, they just had enough greed and lust to become rich that it could almost rival All Might’s physical strength. It was as though the only worth you had in your parent’s eyes was monetary.

During class, Aizawa pulled each student to the front of the class and explain what pushed them to become heroes, why were they aiming to be a hero. You already knew your reason, it had been drilled into you as soon as you were old enough to start using your quirk.

“Y/n, you have become an incredible hero!” Your mother always told you. “There is no other way about it, you will make us amazingly rich one day!”

“Imagine just how much money people would just throw at you. The only daughter of two gloriously wealthy heroes.” The words of your father always in the back of your mind. Every time you achieved something new with your quirk mentions of fame or money followed the memories. You had to become a pro hero, imagine the money you would always think. When things got hard and you were in a tough spot there were no encouraging words from your parents.

“The Luxury, Y/n, the glory.”

“Don’t be weak, only the strong become wealthy.”

“Power equals money, and money is everything.”

You never knew reassuring words from your parents, you were just a push in the financial climb for your parents. But of course, you didn’t know anything different. The words drilled into you were not degrading; you were shown warmth and love, or what you knew love to be. Your parents always preferred to keep you on their property’s grounds, keeping their sole treasure tucked safely away. You went to school like every other middle schooler of course, that was the law. They just didn’t allow you to socialize with other students outside of the classroom, it was only because of your strength they would say.

“They’ll use you, Y/n” Was your answer every time you talked about someone in your middle school.

“You were blessed with a powerful quirk, those weaklings will use you to get to the top.”

“You don’t need anyone but us Y/n”

Answers from your parents were always the same, stay here and they would protect you from being taken advantage of. That you didn’t need anyone other than them, that everyone was the same. People were sneaky and would put their desires above others.

You believed your parents; it’s the only thing you had ever known, and you knew they loved you entirely. You were blind to the truth that they only loved you as a possession that would bring them more riches than they could imagine. They didn’t love you any deeper than an asset. To them, it was like owning a life long share of a brilliant in the stocks. They had done so much for you in your eyes, trained you, shared their goals for you to achieve, they even got you into UA on recommendation. You were sure to become a pro hero now. Your parents were incredible, you thought.

It was their words of caution to keep people at a distance that made you hesitant to socialize with the young heroes in class 1A. You kept your natural friendliness restrained, your parent’s words always in the back of your mind. You desperately wanted to make friends with the others in your class, but people would only use you.

Your belief in what your parents told you wavered some after the encounter with the league of villains during training at the USJ. Each student fought next to each other, helping each other to take down villains. They did it together. Some even next to you, one even saved you. It didn’t seem like students who helped each other out in a crisis would use you to get ahead. You couldn’t get the thought of the Kirishima jumping in front of a villain about to attack you out of your head. Were you weak, or were other people simply different than what you thought?

You tried to talk to your parents about your concerns, they brushed it off as being delusional and that you needed to train harder so no one would have to save you, that you would be the one doing the saving. They urged you to turn your attention toward the studies and quirk training available.

“Imagine Y/n, the fame from graduation UA!” They said.

That one small thought that others were different than you knew stuck in your mind. You started to watch how everyone interacted with each other. It wasn’t like you never talked to people, that would have been rude. You just were a little quieter, and usually never started conversations that weren’t deemed absolutely necessary. You began a small experiment, being more active in class, talking to your classmates more, maybe you even had a few friends. Surely your parents were just confused about the younger generations, nothing bad seemed to happen at all. Closer friendships started between you and some of your classmates as weeks went by and you opened up more. Kirishima had a blinding personality, you quite liked it. Mina was hilarious and very outgoing, she always got you involved in everything the deemed bakusquad did at the school. Sero and Kaminari were goofballs and always caught you off guard with their antics, and even Bakugo the scarily loud and angry boy, though a surprise, started to tolerate you more than others and you noticed that he acted a bit nicer to you than others.

You finally had a group to call friends, something you had been yearning for since you were young. You began to sit with them at lunch instead of your normal spot alone, it was refreshing. You actually had some inside jokes with Kaminari and Kirishima about Bakugo. This, of course, drove him mad.

“How can some idiot as quiet as you have a shitty sense of humor like them!?” He barked whenever he heard you laughing along with them. You actually had a pretty funny sense of humor which came to a surprise to most, they didn’t expect you to be so witty. Looking back at yourself from when you started at UA, you were drastically different from someone who didn’t know you very well, even some of your friends thought it. Bakugo knew different though, he had a way of seeing straight through to who people are. It pissed him off when people weren’t being their true selves with him, made him feel they thought he wasn’t worthy or that they looked down on him. He knew your quirk was powerful and you didn’t hesitate in showing your classmates what you could do. Miasma was your quirk, in other words it was gas manipulation. You could either emit or control anything in its gaseous form. When he found out that you weren’t going to be participating in the sports festival, he acted like it was a personal blow against is strength; that you didn’t see him as being able to take you down. Like you were better than him. You had just said that you weren’t feeling up to it and that you weren’t strong enough so what even was the point. But, he saw right through the lie and cornered you before it was his turn in the one on one battles.

“Whatever is going on with you shake it the hell off!  You and me both know that you are strong L/n! Maybe you realized you wouldn’t be able to beat me, that’s fine!!” The way he looked at you was as if he stared straight past every excuse you had made since school had started. “Whatever god damn thing has got its hold on you so tight that you didn’t even talk to us for almost two whole months, I’ll kick its shitty ass, get damn grip on yourself!” His hands had started to spark but his voice’s volume dropped a bit. “I despise being lied to, especially by you! Whatever it is, you’re stronger than it.”

That shocked you immensely. From the words you were raised on, people weren’t selfless. Your parents had said people were incredibly selfish and they would use you no matter what. But this group of friends you had made proved that what they said was wrong entirely. No matter if you were frustrated with Kaminari’s comments, or if Bakugo’s anger was directed towards you. Nothing changed they were still your friends. No one had ever before stuck up for you, like Bakugo did. It made you change the way you viewed yourself, and how much you had lied to everyone. He had bluntly pointed it out and told you to knock it off. He wasn’t even angry, he was almost understanding, like he knew something that you didn’t.

Mina even explained what dating and love was when she asked if you had a crush on anyone. To say you were confused on her explanation of love and crushes, was an understatement. You had never experienced anything like, it wasn’t like the love your parents showed you. They valued you above everything else, but they never asked how your day went, or what you were feeling. They always shut down your thoughts when you had brought something new up to them. There was no sign of acknowledgment in what you were interested in besides being a hero. You realized you weren’t even sure if they knew anything about you, even something as simple as your favorite color. Kirishima knew that is was red, like his hair, he teased you about it. Did they know that you really enjoyed the bitterness that lingered in your mouth after the first sip of coffee, like you had confessed to Mina one morning after she heard you sigh while drinking it? Did they even care enough to know when you didn’t feel well or sleep enough like Bakugo did when he yelled a lecture at you about the proper amount of sleep to get as a hero? Was the love you thought they had been showing you all your life a lie?

When your parents heard about the summer training, they refused to let you go. It was like anything school-related outside of classes, they never let you go. They even pulled you from the sports festival, saying it was for others safety because your quirk was too powerful, they just didn’t want other agencies to see you and try to get their hands on you. The disappointment was immense, but you still happily watched your classmates in the stands cheering them on. Trying not to share your sadness with them, wishing them the most luck you could offer.

They believed their way of training you to push past your limits would be more helpful than a week away from their precise watch. You were stuck in your property’s gym sparring with your parents for the break. They never allowed you to follow the media or news if there was something, they thought would benefit you to know, they’d inform you. So when a small version of All Might and your homeroom teacher showed up to your parents' house to announce that all the students of UA were moving into dorms for their protection you were confused. All Might went over what had happened at the summer training camp, the league of villains attacked again and this time they had managed to spread a very damaging blow. Their targets were your friends, you were devastated. They had even managed to kidnap Bakugo. Hearing that a piece of your heart had broken. You weren’t there for your friends when they needed your help. You felt like a failure, how were you even supposed to face them after everything that had happened, and you had zero knowledge that it was happening to your classmates and you were in the safety of your house. Anger struck you when your parents told your teachers that you would not be joining the students living in the dorms, that it was a distraction for you. How did they know what was good for you, when they never even asked about you, or put you first? They put their future based on you first, it was the realization of what they were doing that made the words of protest stick themselves in your throat.

Your teachers couldn’t argue with your parents as their point that they were pro heroes and that they would protect you if anything were to happen was solid. You were furious but you couldn’t do anything, for once you realizing how powerless you actually were against them. You were grateful they allowed you to continue going to classes at UA. Sure, you would be missing out living with your friends and classmates, but it could be worse right? They could pull you entirely out of the school.

When school started back up, you were overjoyed to see your friends. Mina started crying when she saw you smashing you into a hug, which brought a touch of tears to the corner of your eyes. You had hugged every other member of the bakusquad, Kaminari’s soul leaving his body as you did, Kirishima and Sero both just grinned and hugged you back. When you turned to Bakugo your heart dropped remembering had been taken and you didn’t know anything about it because of your parents. You know he wasn’t one for hugs or any physical contact for that matter, but the thought of being blown up didn’t cross your mind until you already launched yourself at him, he raised his arms and you tensed up for a moment expecting to be shoved back but you just felt arms wrap around you in return. You started to ramble about your regrets of not being there and how guilty you feel into his chest. Of course, he didn’t hear you so he pushed you back a little, his hand still on your arm.

“Bakugo I’m so sorry! When Mr. Aizawa told me, you were taken- I should’ve been there to help! I could’ve done something, or tried to stop them! Help you at least. I can’t believe I let my parents force me to stay home if I was there-”

“Shut up!” His yell caught you off guard. He looked angry. “You idiot, it was a good thing you weren’t there.” You thought immediately he meant you’d be in the way and your heart dropped a little. “Don’t look so sad dumbass, you were safe. That’s all that matters.” He dropped his arm and stomped away, “Can we go to class now?!”

When class started Aizawa said that it would be an easy lesson today, just tell the class why you wanted to become a hero. Everyone wanted to go first. As people told their reasons you smiled, someone people wanted to have fame, some wanted to help their family, a few wanted to save people. You already knew your reason, it was branded to your memory, to become filthy rich. For your parents. Your thoughts stopped as that came across your mind, that wasn’t right. That’s what you were told. It couldn’t be right, there were so many other reasons, that couldn’t be yours. Everything your parents had done and said were proven wrong through your classmates. Through their friendship and kindness. Your parents had said you were to become a pro hero to get glory and wealth, they said they’d share their dream with you because they loved you. But, you weren’t even sure if they actually loved you, or your monetary value. After all this time, was that your dream too? Your reason to become a pro? No it couldn’t be.

“L/n.” Aizawa snapped you out of your thoughts. “Tell us the reason you strive to be a hero.”

Your mind was blank, “I-“

Looking at everyone in the class you searched your mind. You looked to the faces of your friends, Kirishima showed you the value of chivalry, always do what is right. Mina proved that being outgoing and yourself was worth more to others than anything, Sero and Kaminari made you aware that with a little bit of humor, you could put a smile on anyone’s face. Then there was Bakugo, he showed you that people weren’t selfish monsters like your parents taught you, that people don’t always put themselves first. Sure he was almost always angry but, he made you realize that your true worth is, to be honest with yourself and others, that a façade won't keep people from seeing the real you.

You took a deep breath, and smiled. “I always thought I knew my reason to become a pro hero, that is was the same as my parents and that I never had a dream of my own other than theirs.” Bakugo’s eyes were wide and his mouth gaped a bit. “But, in coming here and making the most amazing friends, they made me realize. The reason I strive to become a pro hero isn’t because someone told me I have to believe it, it’s because I want to be there for people. I want people to be able to count on me if everything turns to chaos, I want to be the light people look for when all hope is lost and despair sets in. I wasn’t there for my friends and companions this summer and that absolutely kills me, any one of you could’ve been lost.” Solemn expressions came over every student. “But that won’t stop me. I’ll use it to push myself forward and be as true to myself as I can be. I want to be a hero not for me or my parents, but for my friends, for those who are scared and have no one else.”

When you sat down the sound of your classmates cheering you own brought a light dusting of pink to your face. You looked at Bakugo in the seat next to you and smiled brightly giving him a thumbs up. The small smile on his features when he nodded at you burned your cheeks even more.

You couldn’t wait to tell your parents about what you discovered. You were so excited that you didn’t even stop and think how they would react. It was a bad one. They were furious, you betrayed them. It was unforgivable.

“What happened to our little Y/n?” Your father asked you, “She was so obedient. She was someone we could be proud of.”

“You turned our dreams into ash Y/n. Do you like knowing how badly you’ve hurt us.”

“Its like we don’t even know you anymore. You aren’t our daughter.”

“It’s like we said, they corrupted you.”

“You’ve made your mother cry, Y/n”

You tried to plead with them but It was no use. Nothing would change their mind on how you had used them to become strong enough to were you don’t need them anymore. That you were going to take all the fame and fortune for yourself.

“I just want to be hope in peoples ey-“

“Get out Y/n.” Your father barked at you. “You aren’t a L/n anymore. You don’t belong in this house.”

They gave you thirty minutes to pack your stuff and leave. Where you went it didn’t matter, they disowned you for the simple aspect of discovering your own dream.

You left the place you had called home, but now you knew that it held almost no fond memories for you. It was just a building in your eyes. You headed towards your high school, you knew that they would be more than welcoming. After a very long walk, you made it to heights alliance. You were soaked to your bones from the frigid rain that pelted you in your haste to get to a place people wanted you. Your friends had given you a tour of the dormitory in hopes it would cheer you up in not being allowed to move in. You must’ve been a sight, walking in the doors to the common room dripping icy water from head to toe, mixing with the tears that had managed to escape your welling eyes. All your possessions that you could carry in two duffels were most likely soaked too, and the little makeup you wore was smeared down your face.

The first to see you was Jirou. She immediately got everyone’s attention. It seemed as though most of your classmates were relaxing in the common room, it warmed your heart just a bit to know you may be able to enjoy it soon. A few people either ignored her calls or didn’t hear, only about half turned to follow her gaze.

“Y/N!” Uraraka shouted loudly, running towards you. The girls followed her immediately and a few of the boys got up as well.

Mina screamed when she saw you, “OH MY GOD! Are you okay?!” You couldn’t seem to bring yourself to talk as tears clouded your vision and stuck in your throat. Everyone was shouting questions at you and you began to get overwhelmed, the shock of being kicked out fading a bit and you grasped the weight of it all.

“I-“ You collapsed to your knees as small sobs started to spill from you. Your focus dropping from everyone to reality. You were homeless now, would you even be able to stay here without your parents’ approval? Your hands covered your face wishing for answers.

“WHAT THE HELL IS-“ You heard Bakugo’s famous yell in the distance, but it stopped most likely when he saw you. You looked up as he started to push through all your classmates. “Get the hell out the way.” He grumbled. When he reached you, his heart broke just a little, tears covered your face, you looked devastated. “Who did this to you.” He spoke low through gritted teeth, he was fuming.

You couldn’t bear the explain anything you just grabbed his hand pleading, “I-I need a place to stay.” Your voice barely above a whisper, afraid it would break into a sob if you tried anymore.

Without hesitation he pulled you up and grabbed your bags out of your hands. Ignoring the protests of his classmates, mostly the girls, he started walking you towards the elevator. You just leaned into his side enjoying his warmth. It wasn’t until he pulled you into a room and shut the door you trusted your voice again.

“Where are we?” You asked him, he threw your bags in the corner and started rummaging through his clothes.

“My dorm.” He handed you a stack of clothes. You started to say something else but he cut you off. “Change and then we’ll talk. Open the door when you’re done.” He left the room and you started to peel off your wet clothes, welcoming the dry warm ones, even if they were a boy’s. Your mind was so delirious from the day’s events and shock of the cold the had drenched you, there was no room for straight thinking. You must’ve been taking to long, Bakugo pounded on the door. “You done yet!?”

You opened the door ready for him to lecture you about not having an umbrella or something stupid you did for that matter. It didn’t come though when you looked up at him he just stared at you. You couldn’t tell what he was thinking.

“Bakugo?” He sat on the edge of the bed and motioned you to sit next to him. He crossed his arms.

“It was those shitty parents of yours, wasn’t it.” He spit it out like venom, “They did this to you.”

You nodded, tears pricked your eyes again, “How did you know.” You spoke so softly you didn’t know If he heard you.

“The way you talked about your dream to become a hero, you mentioned your parents. It made me realize every class activity you’ve missed out on because you said you weren’t up to it or for some shitty reason it was your parents.” The silence was his answer, “I’d you weren’t with us in the summer but for fucks sake, you could’ve told me, Y/n!” The way he said your first name was gentle and opposed how angry his wording was. You saw that he actually cared, he didn’t seem phased that he spoke it either like it was normal for him to say.

“I didn’t know what they were doing until how relieved I was when I saw everyone this morning, especially you, Katsuki.” His eyes lit up just a bit hearing his name on your lips, “I was so scared when I heard what happened. I never knew how much you mean to me; how much I care for you.”

“Y/n…” He brought a hand to cup the side of you face, he was speaking so softly, something you never thought you would hear. “You don’t have to tell me what happened, but I swear those shitty people will pay.” He was fuming again, anyone who treated you like shit was an insect in his eyes.

“I told them I want to be a hero to help people, not for fame and fortune. They-“ Your breath hitched. “They kicked me out.” Katsuki tensed next to you and worry shot through you when he took his hand away from your face, without thinking you threw your arms around him, your faced pressed against his chest. “Please let me stay! Katsuki, I don’t want to leave.” He wrapped his arms around you in return and rested his chin on the top of your head, pulling you closer.

“You’re not leaving I won’t let you, not ever.” You knew those words were his way of telling you how he cared for you, he squeezed his arms

“Do you think principle Nezu will let me have a dorm even without my parents approving?” That was your biggest worry, it didn’t matter if your parents cast you out you had found your true family.

“I blow him to bits if he doesn’t.” He grumbled.

“Can I..” You stopped, suddenly very nervous.

“Spit it out dammit!” He pulled back from you, and you blushed looking up at him.

“Can I stay with you until then?” He was quiet for a moment, and you looked down at your hand. He lifted your chin up and you felt him place a soft kiss to the corner of your lips. A blush erupted across your face and he started to pull away but you pulled him close again and kissed him fully, which he gladly returned.

When he pulled back there was his signature smirk on his lips, and he panted slightly. “Duh you idiot. Didn’t I just say I wouldn’t let you leave.”

Before you could respond there was a sharp knock on the door, he got up to open it. Kirishima, Kaminari, Sero, and Mina shoved themselves into the room to check on you. Kaminari insisted they make sure Bakugo was treating you like a lady, but you knew he was just jealous it wasn’t his room you were in. Mina’s eyes widened and she started screaming about him putting you in ugly boy’s clothes and that she will force you to put a pair of her pajamas on. Kirishima tried to reach out to you to comfort you, but Bakugo snapped at him to back off making the redhead grin. Sero just stood in the doorway a hand rubbing the back of his neck and he smiled at you.

A smile touched your lips as you looked at the odd group of very loud students, you had found your home, your true family.

[essenceoffilm]

Foreigner Himself

Nicholas Ray is a filmmaker who is celebrated as the poet of lonely souls. His films portray people who feel displaced and estranged even on fairly familiar ground. “I’m a stranger here myself,” says a character from what must be the most unique western ever made. All of Ray’s characters are kindred spirits to that one in Johnny Guitar (1954). They are homeless -- in the less urgent meaning of the word. These existentialist themes of solitude and alienation were not uncommon for Ray’s generation of American directors, who had their breakthroughs right before the invasion of television during the late 1940′s and the early 1950′s, but no one tackled them with the cinematically energetic sense of existential malaise as Ray did. To the new generation of young French film critics, primarily in the 1951 founded film magazine Cahiers du cinéma, these fresh American directors with their quickly produced B films exemplified novel individuality, stylistic personality, and poignant critiques of the American society. All the young American directors were rising poets to them. But Ray was their darling. Above all, it was Ray who represented the individual who could find a place for his own original expression in the Hollywood studio system. His films of the 50′s, such as In a Lonely Place (1950), On Dangerous Ground (1951), and Rebel without a Cause (1955), were fierce, distinctive, poetic, and full of cinematic energy. Classical virtues of coherence were secondary to the young Turks of Cahiers; to them, a film with even a few shots of personality could win over a classically good film of quality that had no personality to it -- that lacked what some of them called poetic intuition. Ray was the embodiment of such cinematic poetry. To Jean-Luc Godard, as he famously wrote in a review of Ray’s Bitter Victory (1957), Ray’s name was simply synonymous with the seventh art. 

Like his peers -- as well as other Hollywood directors -- Ray eventually succumbed to the big studio system, as that seemingly eternal giant was taking its last breaths, by making big-budget spectacles at the end of his career. After his fairly successful Biblical epic King of Kings (1961), Ray made another historical spectacle for producer Samuel Bronston. Unlike its predecessor, however, 55 Days at Peking (1963) bombed at the box office and had a negative critical reception. While many of the generic films of this transitional era -- such as Ben Hur (1959), Spartacus (1960), and Cleopatra (1963) -- were not very good in any artistic sense, they usually made a lot of money. The financial and artistic disappointment of 55 Days at Peking must thus have been even more tragic for Ray as the film that practically ended his career [1]. In a strange way, nevertheless, it feels like a very appropriate end for Ray’s time in Hollywood’s limelight of outsiders. 

A Ray Story

55 Days at Peking takes its title from Noel Gerson’s novel of the same name which concerns the actual 55-day-long Siege of the International Legations, a climactic event during the Boxer Rebellion in China, which The Sun called “the most exciting episode ever known to civilization” [2]. The Boxers were Chinese nationalists who opposed foreign forces in China. Christianity represented such foreign presence at its most salient. The Boxers performed martial arts in the streets and started to gain big support after famine and anti-imperialist sentiments had begun to spread in the country in the late 19th century, partly due to a humiliating loss in a war to Japan in 1895. The Boxers’ violent attacks on foreigners and Chinese Christians reached a peak in the summer of 1900 when they forced some of them into a siege for 55 days. On August 14th, the siege ended in the foreign victory of the Eight-Nation Alliance (consisting of countries that were to tear each other apart in the following two world wars!). A year or so later, the Boxer Rebellion came to an end. It was the loss of the Boxers in the Siege of the International Legations, however, that had sown the seeds for the downfall of the Qing Dynasty, which fatally took the side of the Boxers in the conflict and was finished itself a decade later as China became a republic in 1912. 

The fact that the historic event has been pompously called “the most exciting episode ever known to civilization” should have already sparked the interest of more than a couple Hollywood producers (there’s a tagline ready to be printed), but it has surprisingly been filmed very rarely on screen. And for some reason this catchphrase did not catch the attention of the film’s advertisers -- which strikes me as odd for the simple reason that back then they used anything as a selling tagline. Reasons are probably plentiful, but what is more interesting in this context is that the story of the Boxer Rebellion from an Anglo-American perspective sounds perfect for a director like Ray. Although 55 Days at Peking represents Ray’s artistic downfall, which was less than just metaphoric as he collapsed during production due to his declining health, it does exemplify the main themes of Ray’s cinema -- or Ray as cinema -- and Ray finding his own place somewhere else. Rather than picking up the many problems in the film, which I will bring up later, I would like to linger on appreciating this suitability of the story for Ray that is not all unambiguous and, as far as I know, has rarely been recognized by people writing on the film. What I wish to point out is that even though the genre (historical spectacle) and the subject matter (the Boxer Rebellion or, more generally, Chinese history) are foreign to Ray’s cinema, the core of the story (an American individual feeling not-at-home) and some of the film’s stylistic aspects ring true to what we could call, in the spirit of the young French critics, Ray’s poetic intuition. 

55 Days at Peking centers around an American major, Matt Lewis (played by the biggest star of the Hollywood historical spectacle, Charlton Heston), who knows the local ways of Beijing. He is introduced to us as the leader of the US military garrison filled with young blood to whom he tells that they should not think any less of the Chinese just because the Chinese do not speak English -- and proceeds to arrogantly teach them the only Chinese words they’ll need, “yes” and “no,” because everything is for bargain and nothing is free. Arriving at his hotel, Lewis meets what will turn into his love interest, a Russian Baronness Natasha Ivanoff (played by Ava Gardner), who seems like an abandoned character from a Tolstoy novel. She wants to leave China but cannot because her visa has been revoked by the brother of her late husband who, as it is later revealed, committed suicide due to Natasha’s extra-marital affair with a Chinese officer. The dire situation in Beijing turns worse when the Chinese Empress of the Qinq dynasty decides to take the side of the Boxers in the heated political climate. As the siege begins, Natasha and Lewis find themselves trapped in a foreign country. Lewis gets help from a British officer, Sir Arthur Robinson (played by David Niven) with whom he blows up a Chinese ammunition warehouse. In the final act of the film, Lewis needs to leave Beijing to deliver a message to nearby Allied forces in order to put an end to the siege. While he is gone, Natasha sells a valuable necklace of hers, which would provide an ace against her brother-in-law, to acquire food and medical supplies for the wounded westerners and Chinese Christians. Her material sacrifice is elevated by a spiritual one since she dies in the process of providing help to those who need it. Lewis’ message reaches the Allied troops, but he will not be reunited with his love. Shortly after his return, the Allied troops arrive and put an end to the siege. 

Cut Loose

Despite the many shortcomings of the film, which I will dissect in a moment, the heart of this story is Lewis’ experience -- which also ties it to Ray’s cinema. Granted, it is hard to see this if one looks at 55 Days at Peking as an individual film or in the context of other Hollywood spectacles from the late 50′s and the early 60′s. Viewed in the context of Ray’s oeuvre, however, 55 Days at Peking looks less like a failed portrayal of the Boxer Rebellion and more like a big (if not entirely successful) tale of alienation. Thus, from an auteurist perspective, the film opens up as a story about Lewis’ sense of homelessness in a foreign environment that is growing more hostile toward him.

All of Ray’s films depict individuals who are tormented by a sense of homelessness. They of course experience it even in their domestic environments. The famous line cited above from Johnny Guitar is the most well-known example. The title of In a Lonely Place says it all as it is a portrayal of people in Hollywood. The theme is also articulated quite concretely in Ray’s films that involve characters moving to another place, though still within America. In On Dangerous Ground, a tough cop must move elsewhere to find home. In Rebel without a Cause, a teenager’s loss of direction is aggravated by his family moving to a new town. As far as I know, 55 Days at Peking is Ray’s only film in which the central character resides in a country other than the States. Lewis’ sense of homelessness, innate to him as a character in the Ray universe, is only heightened by such displacement. Making matters worse for his implicit malaise, which remains unaddressed at the level of the film’s dialogue, one might say, the social atmosphere starts boiling up. It is during the hottest months of the Boxer Rebellion that the sweats of his homelessness come to the surface. And this is essentially what happens to Ray’s characters in his other films as well, though in a less grandiose scheme. 

55 Days at Peking begins with a sequence in the Forbidden City where an execution of a Chinese general is about to happen because the general, part of the Chinese army, has been shooting the Boxers. One of the leading figures in the army, Jung-Lu arrives to call off the execution. He asks the Empress to take his life instead of the general’s because it was he who gave the command to shoot the Boxers. “They were burning Christian missions, killing foreigners,” Jung-Lu pleads in an effort to justify his command. The Empress declines his offer, listening rather to an ancient prediction in a fatal mistake of taking the side of the Boxers. As a smug smile raises on the Empress’ face, the sequence concludes with a brief and surprising low-angle shot of the executioner swinging his sword from the top frame to the low frame, implying the off-screen cut of the Chinese general’s neck. As the sword falls to the low frame of the shot, however, there is -- in a stroke of visual genius -- a cut to a medium close-up of Heston as Lewis. A clever way to end the first sequence and tie it in with the next, this transition is the best cut in the whole film. More than an energetic beginning for what turns out to be a mediocre story, the cut also has a thematic dimension. 

In order to appreciate all of this, let us take a moment to remind ourselves that Ray is often celebrated as one of the great visionaries of the CinemaScope format. Already his Rebel without a Cause brought new sensitivity and intimacy to the newly invented (in 1953) wide aspect ratio that enhances horizontal compositions in a way that is usually just for “snakes and funerals,” as Fritz Lang cunningly puts it in Godard’s Contempt (1963, Le mépris). The width of ratio tends to encourage directors to cut less and use larger shot scales, but Ray combines the wide aspect ratio with close-ups and a faster editing rhythm in Rebel without a Cause -- which is, in my view, alongside Max Ophüls’ Lola Montès (1955), the best CinemaScope film. The introduction of Heston as Lewis in 55 Days at Peking bears resemblances to this. The shot of the executioner swinging his sword is extremely brief (barely a second), but it lies in between of two shots that are longer in duration: the medium close-up of the Empress indulging in her fatal decision is four seconds, the medium close-up of Lewis is seven seconds. The brief shot in between creates an abrupt, surprising sense of acceleration in the film’s editing rhythm, which is calmer in the rest of the film. It makes the visual transition from the Empress to Lewis feel quick, abrupt, out of the blue. Such editing is not considered the done thing when it comes to the use of the CinemaScope aspect ratio. Nor is the use of close-ups. But Ray creates a language of his own out of all of this. It’s a minor detail, you might say, but it’s really one of those small wonderful things that remind you that you are indeed watching a Hollywood spectacle by a real auteur rather than an anonymous factory. I think the cut is definitely worthy of more attention.

The cut from the Empress to the executioner or the cut from the executioner to Lewis is not a match cut; yet it is a match cut of sorts. A match cut in the traditional sense is a cut between two shots that share a visual correspondence: a similar object lies within the same area in their distinct screen spaces (the most famous example being the match cut from the extinguishing match to a setting sun in Lawrence of Arabia, 1962, another CinemaScope spectacle from the same time). While the shot of the executioner lacks direct visual correspondence with either the shot that precedes it (the medium close-up of the Empress) or the shot that follows it (the medium close-up of Lewis), there is not just a match between the two medium close-ups separated by the shot of the executioner but there is also a less visual and a more mental equivalence between the shots due to the cutting. 

The equivalence comes from the idea of cutting. The executioner is a character who cuts necks and hence his position in the brief shot that mediates two longer shots is a clever idea in itself. The movement of his sword serves as a ticking clock for the shot’s duration. Thus it wires a tension and creates a visual conflict, which will turn into a dramatic one in the film, between the Empress (or the Qing dynasty in general) and Lewis (or the foreigners in general). The cut is also associated with the political act that already happens now in the Empress’ decision to continue with the execution even though she will make this decision more explicitly later in the film: to take the side of the Boxers. It is the act of cutting ties to the foreigners. After all, the execution takes place because Chinese generals have been shooting the Boxers who have been killing foreigners. This is the main thematic function of this cut. When put in words, it might start to sound too much on-the-nose. But when seen in the film, it is implicit and subtle. 

There is yet another function, however, though it is a far subtler one. The shot of Lewis is in the scale of medium close-up (from the clavicle upward), but since Lewis’ head is moving vertically within the confines of the frame (horizontally his head stays put due to the synchronized movement of the tracking camera), the shot also has this strange framing where Lewis’ head lies in the very lowest area of the screen space, the rest of his body cropped off (including his neck and clavicle), with some superfluous empty space above and around his head. The cut to the next shot, a long shot of Lewis with his military garrison, introducing him like a character from a Fordian cavalry western, affirms that this movement is due to horse-riding, but taken in isolation, there is this strange visual movement of the head in space. Granted, the spectator does not experience the movement of the dislocated head as strange because they are used to associate such movement as well as the character’s attire with riding a horse (a call-back to cavalry westerns). However, since the brief shot in between has created this sense of not only acceleration but also haste, the shot of a head in space does catch one a bit off guard. It is the first shot of one of the film’s main characters after the 14-minute opening sequence. It is crucial that this shot in particular introduces the protagonist of the film. It’s a very Ray-esque shot: a lone man being nowhere. The sense of visual strangeness, visual unheimlich, if you will, in the shot is later heightened by the fact that the spectator learns that Lewis is indeed a resident in a foreign country where he does not belong. This obviously plays a part already in creating this initial visual strangeness because we are transformed, via the cut, from the Forbidden City of Beijing to a lone man straight from a cavalry western in anonymous space. There are Chinese buildings in the background, but their cultural architecture is hardly recognizable. They are just buildings that are in contrast to Lewis’ clothing and being, his whole habitus. He is homeless, cut away, floating in air. He is, to paraphrase Johnny Guitar, a stranger here himself -- even though he teaches crude lessons to his soldiers about China. 

The theme of home is thus articulated visually before it grows out from the narrative. On the narrative level, the theme is treated by Lewis’ relationships to the other characters, primarily to two female characters. 

One of the chief dramatic motifs for the theme of Lewis’ alienation (or his sense of unheimlich, not-being-at-home) is a young Chinese-American girl. She is the daughter of one of Lewis’ soldiers who has had a love affair with a Chinese woman, but the woman has been killed. In the beginning, the soldier asks Lewis for advice with regard to the girl: should he take her back home to the United States or leave her in China as an orphan? Lewis replies cynically that the girl should definitely be left in China because back home she would be “treated like a freak,” while here “she’ll be among her own kind.” Putting aside the character’s racism for a moment (after all, the girl is also half-American), Lewis’ cynicism, I believe, exemplifies his attitude toward himself more than toward anyone else. He himself feels like a freak, a creature hanging in mid-air, cut loose from the homestead. When the girl’s father dies in action during the siege, Lewis must confront his cynicism or self-loathe as he has to inform the girl of her father’s passing. After a series of attempted evasions of duty, Lewis goes to the Christian mission to talk with the girl. He manages to imply the truth, but is unable to say it up front. He asks help from the Christian minister there who tells him that all men are fathers to all children, but one can believe this only if one feels that way about the world. On a wider scale, the minister is speaking for a non-cynical attitude toward the world. After the siege has ended, Arthur (the Niven character) tells Lewis that now he will leave China and go live “every Englishman’s dream” with a family, a few books, and a dog in the countryside. Nothing less cynical than that. He then inquires about Lewis’ future plans.

Arthur: “What about you? What’s home to you?”

Lewis (laughing): “I don’t know... I have to make one yet.”

In the final scene, as he is once again riding on a horse, going away from his non-home, he picks up the young Chinese-American girl from the crowd. Although his change of heart is motivated by the character’s arc throughout the narrative, there is a similar feeling of haste to this decision as there is to the abrupt cut in the beginning. There is optimism in the end, but also, within the context of Ray’s whole oeuvre, the film’s ending seems too good to be true.

Another important element for Lewis’ character development and the theme of home is his relationship with Baronness Natasha Ivanoff (the Gardner character). It is quite appropriate that Lewis lays eyes on Natasha for the first time while his soldier is telling him about the young Chinese-American girl. He meets her at the hotel where they play a game of sexual innuendo. Soon, a more emotional connection starts to build between them. In the scene where Natasha reveals her past to Lewis (that her husband committed suicide because she was unfaithful to him with a Chinese general), she asks him, connecting their relationship to the young Chinese-American girl, whether the same could not have happened to him: “Couldn’t you have fallen in love with a Chinese girl?” Lewis has no answer, but he kisses Natasha fiercely. It’s an affirmative answer that is obstructed by his cynicism or self-loathe. Although the fact that nobody in this film speaks anything but English might be disorienting, it is true that Natasha is a foreigner not just in China but to Lewis (the American-as-can-be Heston) as well. She’s Russian -- which meant two different things in 1900 and 1963 (and yet again in 2020). Natasha has her own character arc of growing away from selfishness to altruistic self-sacrifice. Thus she further motivates Lewis’ development. In her death, Lewis experiences a loss of love and becomes more aware of his tormenting homelessness, which, in the end, makes her pick up the young Chinese-American girl. Whether it is his new-found altruism or his egoistic fear of loneliness that makes him do this is arguable. Similar ambiguity lies in the emerging sense of responsibility at the end of Rebel without a Cause as a fellow young man’s death shakes something up in the torn-apart protagonist. 

A Triumph (of sorts) in Weakness

Unfortunately, it’s precisely these two major sub-plots (Lewis’ relationships to the young Chinese-American girl and the Russian woman, Natasha) that are the biggest weaknesses of the film. This is unfortunate because, when it comes to narration, these are the main aspects in which Ray deals with the leading theme of homelessness in the film. It is true, of course, that the character of Arthur (played by Niven) is also important: he represents the happy home life that Lewis lacks, while Natasha and the young Chinese-American girl represent possibilities of acquiring it. But the slightly better quality of his character does not excuse the lowbrow characterizations of the two female characters. 

First, the young Chinese-American girl is a mere stock character -- less from a Dickensian story and more from mediocre melodrama. Her character is reduced to a sentimental tear-jerker. What makes this worse is not just the film’s duration, which would definitely allow deeper characterization for her, but also its implicit racism that is evident in its reliance on white Hollywood actors playing the Chinese in “yellow face.” While far from the outrageous in-your-face racism of Mickey Rooney’s performance in Breakfast at Tiffany’s (1961), this convention of playing Asian characters in “yellow face” just heightens the superficiality of the Chinese characters. It’s also worth pointing out the confusion that stems from this convention. At times, it takes time to realize that a character is indeed supposed to be a Chinese character. When everybody speaks English and looks like someone from London or Los Angeles, it’s hard to tell. All I know is that Jung-Lu (played by Leo Genn) definitely does not look like a Beijing local. Although the young Chinese-American girl does not generate such immediate difficulties in recognition, this background makes the character’s superficiality feel more poignant. She’s nothing but a visual figure -- with a few terribly written lines. On the other hand, there is an argument to be made that she has no other purpose for the film’s narrative -- which is, of course, precisely the problem for some. In this sense, she’s like Natalie Wood’s character in Ford’s The Searchers (1956) who the film’s protagonist, played by John Wayne, first despises but then suddenly embraces. Wood’s character is certainly not a very complex one, but she never feels like a mere tear-jerker either, whereas the young Chinese-American girl definitely does. And that’s essentially the problem here. Since 55 Days at Peking, seen from an auteurist perspective, should not be received as a story of the Boxer Rebellion but as part of Ray’s cinematic oeuvre of tortured and alienated American men, it is less problematic (at least in my opinion) when characters serve only narrative functions for those lonely souls. What remains problematic, when it comes to the aesthetic quality of the film, however, is the childish sentimentality with which the character is constructed. 

Something similar goes for Natasha. Gardner is a good actor, but here she is at her weakest. It’s almost like Heston brought out the worst in her. For they were destined to fumble around a decade later in the ludicrously bad disaster film Earthquake (1974). While there is sexual tension between the two from the first scene that introduces them, as Natasha first makes fun of Lewis’ attempts of picking her up but then agrees to share the room with him, it’s a little difficult to buy the love that grows between them quite rapidly. There is a dance sequence -- that must forever exist in the shadows of Visconti’s The Leopard (1963, Il gattopardo) from the same year -- but the love still feels unearned, nevertheless. The scene where the two finally kiss, after Natasha has shared her history of infidelity with Lewis, comes particularly out of nowhere. Making matters worse, the scene ends really abruptly. The kiss has this long set-up with Natasha’s brother-in-law and the lingering disclosure of truth, but then the scene suddenly ends with a quick kiss that transports us to a completely different scene. There is no mediator, just a straight cut. It feels like someone just had to shorten the film and took out the remaining 10-20 seconds of the scene in the last minutes before the film’s release. “Okay, they kissed, let’s move on!” Strangely enough, Natasha is involved in the film’s other terrible cut: a quick pan that turns into a cut when the camera shifts from Arthur mourning his son’s serious injury to Natasha taking care of a wounded man. Let alone the fact that quick pans are not considered the done thing with CinemaScope (and for good reason), it’s quite astonishing how badly this stylistic device fits with the rest of the film with regard to camera movement and rhythm in general. There is no other shot like it in the film. And its distinctive singularity is not of the good kind. There is no raison d’être for it.

Despite these awkward characterizations and stylistic details, there is a sense of Ray’s artistic presence in this film. Ray is known as a director who sometimes did not oversee his projects to the finish line, and, given the fact that he had to stop working due to a collapse on set during production, it is hard to tell which aspects of 55 Days at Peking really come from him. At the very least, however, one can say that the theme of homelessness that is first articulated by cinematic means in the form of a match cut of sorts and then by narrative techniques (albeit poorly executed ones) fits with the rest of Ray’s oeuvre. Even if the narrative techniques with the young Chinese-American girl and Natasha lacked quality, there is something earnest in the portrayal of Lewis’ relationships to them. After all, the point of the film is not to tell this great love story between an American and a Russian nor a story where a lone man grows into a father figure for an orphan. The Russian woman and the Chinese-American girl are there just to bring about something in the protagonist who is the film’s focus. Through them, the film articulates Lewis’ sense of homelessness. In this sense, the unearned love between Lewis and Natasha feels less like a poor version of a great love story and more like an apt portrayal of feelings that are motivated by the characters’ self-loathe and disappointments. Perhaps it’s the kind of infatuation that one wishes to be love even when it is not. It’s the wish-fulfillment fantasy where reality is romanticized -- ideas of love pasted on sore wounds. This can be seen in the scene where Lewis and Natasha meet for the last time. Natasha must cut their meeting short because the doctor needs her medical assistance. Lewis waits in the corner as she does her duty. She comes back and they share this brief impassioned moment. In this scene, Ray’s sense of mise-en-scène is as good as it gets in this film. The quicker cutting separates the two, and the strong contrasts of shadows in the space exhale a sense of death above them. We know that this will not last -- and we seem to share the characters’ implicit epiphany that maybe it even should not. When Arthur expresses his condolences to Lewis’ loss, Lewis’ indifferent shrug is simultaneously repressive and honest. 

It’s this aspect of idealized love in a reality that lacks it and alienation in a hostile environment that make 55 Days at Peking an interesting film. At its heart, it is a story about abandoned alienated people trying in vain to find each other, which casts a shadow of doubt above the happy ending. These aspects also make it a Ray film. Its cinematic energy, evident in the match cut of sorts, comes from the poetic place of Hollywood that made the young French critics of the 50′s fall in love with the dream factory. While one senses the presence of such fire, one also senses powers constantly putting it down. There’s this strange co-existence of different ideas and forces pulling to the opposite directions in the film. Although 55 Days at Peking is, I believe, best appreciated from an auteurist perspective as a tale of alienation (as a story about Lewis’ experience of homelessness in a foreign environment) and not as a historical story about the Boxer Rebellion, it has two scenes, one in the beginning and one in the end, which try to make it precisely into something like that. During the opening sequence, before the one in the Forbidden City, the camera on a crane descends before two elderly Chinese men. One complains about the noise surrounding them: “What is this terrible noise?” The other responds: “Different nations saying the same thing at the same time, ‘We want China!’” The scene is cheesy, but, more importantly, unnecessary and unfitting for the whole of the film. In the final sequence, there is a similarly awkward brief scene of the Empress repeating the words “the dynasty is finished” in the Forbidden City. The Boxer Rebellion provides a great historical background for Ray’s story about alienation, but the film has really nothing to say about that historical event -- nor should it. In these two scenes, however, the film seems to think not only that it should have something to say about it but also, and more embarrassingly, that it actually does have something to say about it. These two scenes perfectly exemplify the film’s confusion over its own identity which might, in fact, be the most appropriate (albeit tragic) way to end Ray’s career in Hollywood where he was constantly trying to find his own voice, his own sense of home, surrounded by forces that felt foreign to him. 

Notes:

[1] Although Ray still made two films afterwards, We Can’t Go Home Again (1973) and Lightning Over Water (1980), his poor health did not allow him to be responsible for them as the primary director. He made We Can’t Go Home Again with his students and Lightning Over Water is more a film by Wim Wenders than it is by Ray. At the very least, 55 Days at Peking is Ray’s last film made in Hollywood -- in the world that made him who he is as an artist. 

[2] https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Siege_of_the_International_Legations

[pearlinthemaking]

01 The Moment of Lift

The Moment of Lift

How Empowering  Women Changes the World

Introduction

I recently came across the phrase “moment of lift” in a book by Mark Nepo, one of my favorite spiritual writers. He uses the words to capture a moment of grace. Something was “lifted like a scarf on the wind,” he writes, and his grief went silent and he felt whole. (2)

Mark’s image of lift is filled with wonder. And wonder has two meanings for me. It can mean awe, and it can mean curiosity. I have loads of awe - but just as much curiosity. I want to know how lift happens!

How can we summon a moment of lift for human beings — and especially for women? Because when you lift up women,  you lift up humanity. And how can we create a moment of lift in human hearts so that we all want to lift up women? Because sometimes all that’s needed to lift women up is to stop pulling them down. (2-3)

They have shown me the difference it makes when women are lifted up, and I want everyone to see it They have shown me what people can do to make an impact, and I want everyone to know it. …No one should be left out. Everyone should be brought in. OUr call is lift women up — and when we come together in this cause, we are the lift. (4)

The Lift of a great idea

Frankly, I think it is great if women want to stay home. But it should be a choice, not something we do because we think we have no choice. I don’t regret my decision. I would make it again. At the time, though, i just assumed that is what women do. (7)

22 years later, I am an ardent feminist. To me, it is very simple. Being a feminist means that every woman should be able to use her voice and pursue her potential, and that women and men should all work together to take down the barriers and end the biases that still hold women back. (7)

And my own mother had a powerful influence on my choice, though she might not have known it. She always said to me as I was growing up. “If you don’t see your own agenda, somebody esle will.” If I didn’t fill my schedule with things I felt were important, other people would fill my schedule with things they felt were important. (21)

I was seeing women lifting each other up. And I saw that it all begins when women start talking to each other. (25)

“What do you know now in a deeper way than you know before?” I love this question because it honors how we learn and grow. Wisdom is not about accumulating more facts; it is about understanding big truths in a deeper way. Year by year, with the support and insight of freidns and partners and people who have gone before me, I see more clearly that the primary causes of poverty and illness are the culture, financial, and legal restrictions that block what women can do — and think they can do for themselves and their children. (27)

We can look at each of these issues as a wall or a door. I think I already know which way we see it. In the hearts and minds of empowered women today, “every wall is a door.” (28)

Empowering Mothers

Often in life, it is the older males who get credit for the work that young people and women do. It isn’t right, but that is how it works.” (27)

You don’t get behavior change unless a new practice is transparent, works well, and gets people talking — and Ruchi’s revival of this one-day-old-baby had everybody talking. (42)

“Their cup is not empty: you can’t just pour your ideas into it. Their cup is already full, so you have to understand what is in their cup.” If you don’t understand the meaning and beliefs behind a community’s practice, you won’t represent your idea in the context of their values and concerns, and people won’t hear you. (43)

But the way you deliver the science is just as important as the science itself. (44)

This underscores the value of Hans Rosling’s stories about extreme poverty: When you begin to understand the daily lives of the poor, it does more than give you the desire to help it; it can often show you how. (49)

It is unglamorous from a technological standpoint, but deeply satisfying from a human viewpoint — innovation driven by the feeling that science should serve everyone. No one should be excluded. (49)

All of us have seen something like this. And we had a role in it. Either we were bullies, or we were victims, or we saw bullying and didn’t stop it. … As I grew up, I thought abuse like that would happen less and less. But I was wrong. Adults try to create outsiders, too. In fact, we get better at it. And most of us fall into one of the same three groups : the people who try to create outsiders, the people who were made to feel like outsiders, and the people who stand by and don’t stop it. Anyone can be made to feel like an outsider. It is up to the people who have the power to exclude. Often it is on the basis of race. (51)

Overcoming the need to create outsiders is our greatest challenge as human beings. It is the key to ending deep inequality. We stigmatize and send to the margins people who trigger in us the feelings we want to avoid. This is why there are so many old and weak and sick an dpoor people on the margins of the society. We tend to push out the people who have the qualities we are most afraid we will find in ourselves — and sometimes we falsely ascribe qualities we disown to certain groups, then push those groups out as a way of denying those traits in ourselves. This is what drives dominating groups to push different racial and religious group s to the margins. (52)

And we are often not honest about what is happening. If we are one the inside and see someone on the outside, we often say to ourselves, “I am not in that situation because I am different.” But that is just pride talking. We could easily be that person. We have all things inside us. We just don’t like to confess what we have in common with outsiders because it is too humbling. It suggest that maybe success and failures aren’t entirely fair. And if you know you got the better deal, then you have to humble, and it hurts to give up your sense of superiority and say, “I am no better than others.” So instead we invent excuses for our need to exclude. We say it is about merit or tradition when it is really just protecting our privilege and pride. (52)

We have to wake up to the ways we exclude. We have to open our arms and heats to the people we have pushed to the margins. It is not enough to help outsider fights their way in - the real triumph will come when we no longer push anyone out. (53)

Lifting Their Eyes

Education is a vital step on the path to empowerment for women — a path that starts with good health, nutrition, and family an organization, ….and lead.

The Moment of Lift

Agents of Development

Some of the best ideas in development are simple ideas - after you have heard them. But it takes a visionary to dream them up, and make them work. (103)

Kakenya had the courage to defy tradition, but she also had the wisdom to make it work in her favor. (107)

I don’t have any idea how people find the guts to speak up against waves of tradition, but when they do, they always end up with followers who have the same conviction but not quite the same courage. That is how leaders are born. They say what others want to say, and the others then join them. That’s how a young woman can change not only her life, but her culture. (108)

That is the secret of an empowering education ; A girl learns she is not who she’s been told she is. She is the equal of anyone, and she has rights she needs to assert and defend. This is how the great movements of social change get traction : when outsiders reject the low self-image society has imposed on them and begin to author a self-image of their own. (108)

Defending yourself is not just an abstract action. (111)

A low elf-image and oppressive social customs are inner and outer versions of the same force. But the link between the two gives outsiders the key to change. If a girl can lift up her view of herself, she can start to change the culture that keeps her down. But this is n’t something most girls can do on their own. They need support. The first defense against a culture that hates you is a person who loves you. (112)

Love is the most powerful and underused force for change in the world. You don’t hear about in policy discussions or political debates. ..all did hard headed, tough-minded work for social justice and they all put the emphasis on love. (113)

It is a mark of our culture’s uneasiness with love that political candidates never talk about it as a qualification for holding public office. In my view, love is one of the highest qualifications one can have. “Only love can safely handle power.” For me, love is the effort to help others flourish — and it often begins with lifting up a person’s self-image.

If I had not been surrounded by people who lifted me up I might have taken her advice and sold myself short. Instead I stormed out of that talk furious with her and twice as determined to reach my goals. That was not my power ; it was the power of people who had shown me my gifts and wanted to me to flourish. That is why I am so passionate about teachers who can embrace girls and lift them up — they change the course of their students’ lives.

A girl who is given love and support can start to break the self-image that keeps her down. As she gains self-confidence, she sees she can learn. As she learns, she sees her own gifts. As she develops her gifts, she sees her own power; she can defend her own rights. That is what happens when you offer girls love, not hate. You lift up their gaze. They gain their voice.  (113)

The Silent Inequality

Every family has its own way of coping, and all families can use help managing the tasks of raising kids and running the home. (126)

The way the researchers talked about their work was very moving to me. To care is human — and caring for children or aging parents should be an expression of love. It can offer us some of the most meaningful moments of our lives. But if it is assumed that women will do all these tasks, then caring that should be joyful becomes a burden, and work that should be shared becomes isolating. (127)

Balancing Unpaid Work: balancing Relationships

Breaking that hierarchy actually leads to men’s empowerment, because it allows to discover the power of partnership them develop their caring side. (130-131)

This dynamic is what allows some partners to ignore things that they actually do care about, because they know their partner will do the work for both of them. But leaving to your partner something that you also care about leads to separation. When one partner leaves the care of the children to the other, or one partner leaves the role of earning income to the other, they are cutting themselves off from their children. Perhaps the biggest cost is that the two are cutting themselves from each other. (131)

There is a much better approach. Instead of one partner ignoring a need and the other emphasizing it, we share it. We don’t insist that the time spent on the work is mathematically equal,  but we acknowledge what the family needs, and we make plans to take care of it. It is not longer “this is my job, that is yours.” It becomes ours. (131)

You develop a partnership that is whole and complementary with a natural hierarchy based on

talent and experience, where each other can learn, lead and follow, and two can become one. ..”It is the heat and friction of two people’s differences that propel them to explore new ways of being.” (132)

The gender imbalance in unpaid work is such a compelling subject form e in part because it is a common burden that binds many women together, but also because the causes of the imbalance run so deep that you cannot solve them with a technical fix. You have to renegotiate the relationship. To me, no question is more important than this one: Does your primary relationship have love and respect and reciprocity and a sense of teamwork and belonging and mutual growth? I believe all of us ask ourselves this question in one way or another — because I think it is one of the greatest longings of our life. (132)

(Working in separate worlds) might have been equal, but it wounldn’t have been an equal partnership. It would have been more like a parallel play: I won’t mess with your stuff and you don’t mess with mine. This was another decision that supported our move towards an equal partnership. (136)

The moral of the story to me was that a man can call another man and share advice about how to improve their marriages — that men can play a role as guardians and supporters of the union. (137)

When two people challenge each other and learn from each other, it has an equalizing effect. (139)

Early in our work together, we realized that there was an underlying ethos to our philanthropy: the premise that all lives have equal value. It animates everything. And one of the things that has made this principle real to me — not as an abstract idea but as an honest mark of the way we see the world — has been seeing how the suffering of others can bring Bill to tears. (140)

Great wealth can be very confusing. It can inflate and distort your sense of self — especially if you believe that money measures merit. Yet Bill is one of the most grounded people I know, and it comes from a clear perspective about how he came to be where he is. (140)

Bill has a sense of humility. Not all the time — I can give you counterexamples. But this is the path of his growth. When he reflects on life and connects with his deepest self, he knows he is not special : he knows his circumstances were special — and a man who can see through hierarchy, honor equality and express his tender heart. (141)

You can’t dedicate your life to the principle that all lives have equal value if you think you are better than others. Bill, at his core, doesn’t think that way at all, and that is one of the qualities I love most in him. (141)

We try to hare roles, especially the disagreeable ones. We try to make sure we don’t make one person do the dirty work. One of the defining features of hierarchy is that you take the powerful and exciting jobs for yourself and impose the crummy tasks on others. That’s a purpose of hierarchy.

I take it personally

First I believe that women gain equality not couple by couple but by changing the culture, and we can change the culture by sharing our stories. That is why I’m sharing mine. (148)

“To be known without being loved is terrifying. To be loved without being known has no power to change us. But to be deeply known and deeply loved transforms us.” ..Trying to help others while keeping them at a safe distance cannot truly help them or heal us. We have to open up to others. We have to give up the need to be separate and superior. Then we can help. Working on ourselves while working for others is the inner and outer work — where the effort to change the world and the effort to change ourselves come together. (149)

When a culture of dominance is broken, it activates power in all of us.So the goal for me is not the rise of women and the fall of man. It is the rise of both women and men from a struggle for dominance to a state of partnership. (149)

Change comes when men see the benefits of women’s power — not just what women can do that men cannot, but a quality of relationship that comes in an equal partnership that cannot come in a hierarchical relationship : a sense of bonding, of belonging, of community, solidarity and wholeness born of a promise that I will help you when your burdens are high, and you will help me when your burdens are low. These forces create the most rewarding feelings in life — and experience of love and union that is not possible or available to partners who struggle alone. It can turn a hierarchical relationship into an equal one, and it comes from women asserting themselves. (150)

Seeing Gender Bias

Empowerment never confines itself to categories. (191)

The way the women carried themselves. … It’s not easdy to unlearn a lifetime of being meek. The posture of these women was different. They stood tall. They spoke up. They were not afraid to ask questions, to tell me what they knew, what they thought, what they wanted. They were activists. They had that look. They had been lifted up (191)

[fyeah-redvelvet]

[!] k-pop’s red velvet discuss their evolution, public scrutiny and secret dreams

As they lead the way for South Korean girlbands with a US tour, we catch up with Irene, Wendy, Yeri, Joy and Seulgi.

Red Velvet managed to squeeze this interview in between a concert in Chile, performing (and winning) at the Gaon Chart Music Awards, and their final preparations for the next leg of their Redmare tour, which is about to take them across Japan, followed by five US dates and two in Canada. The intensity of the schedule isn’t unfamiliar for Irene, Wendy, Yeri, Joy and Seulgi, who debuted in 2014 as a four-piece, before Yeri joined in early 2015. The latter tour dates, however, are an anomaly for a K-Pop girl group.

As Korean pop continues to rise in popularity across North and Latin America, it’s the boy groups who have frequently taken to the road. In fact, you can count the women-led American tours of the twenty-tens on one hand -- 2NE1 in 2012, Apink and CL in 2016. 2019, however, has already seen Red Velvet, Oh My Girl and BLACKPINK embark on US tours, making for a significant, although testing, shift in the landscape.

"Like with all modern forms of fame, there are caveats, and being one of K-Pop’s most successful groups comes with intense public reaction over everything from their stage clothes and their weight, to the selfies they post and the books they read."

“We owe this opportunity to all our fans who love our music,” says 27-year-old Irene, the group’s eldest member and leader. “We’ll work hard in return for all the love and support.” It’s a modest and quintessentially K-Pop response, but behind Irene’s words stands a fandom which is, significantly, populated by devoted young women. Women might be the financial backbone of K-Pop, but they often choose to spend heavily on boy groups (physical albums, merchandise, concert tickets) rather than female groups, who are traditionally marketed at a more generalised audience but, as evidenced by their concepts -- primarily sweetness or sex appeal -- with a definite male skew.

A major factor of Red Velvet’s appeal is that there’s no way to pigeonhole the quintet, who have become a fearsome force with their sophisticated duality; marrying the madcap pop fizz of their ‘red’ side (the visual quirks of Red Flavor and its suggestive portrayal of a summer romance) to their ‘velvet’ element (slower, sexier R&B, such as Automatic, One Of These Nights). They are as multifaceted as the women who love them – cute and bright, but also modern, sleek and cool-headed.

Recently they’ve parlayed K-Pop’s ‘girl crush’ concept – usually a fierce, empowering sound and look – into their output to create some of their finest moments; the sly, enticing Peek-A-Boo, whose American Horror Story-esque video sees them trophy hunt and kill a pizza delivery guy, and one of 2018’s best pop songs – Bad Boy – in which they harness the proverbial heartbreaker. The very idea of the female popstar as a submissive, doll-like creature, which they satirised in the video for Dumb Dumb, has become redundant in the Red Velvet world.

“There’s confidence in all of our songs,” says Wendy, fluent in English having lived in Canada as a teenager, “and we want to tell our fans that you can be whoever you want, as long as you have confidence.” Joy, who has a blossoming side-career in acting, adds, “We want to be a group who encourages people, and hope they can learn how to love and be themselves, living the life they were meant to.”

They, too, are still learning lessons in self-belief and confidence. As recently as last year they confessed surprise at the explosive success of Bad Boy, a song which they thought wouldn’t go down especially well, while their 2018 summer anthem, the hyperactive Power Up, scored them a PAK (a Perfect All Kill, #1 on all of South Korea’s major real-time and daily music charts), making them the only group from their label to have achieved one. Yet Yeri recalls thinking they “really had no idea that it would be such a hit”.

“Whenever we release a new album, we feel excited and nervous because we always try out different concepts, and never know how fans will react,” explains Seulgi. “We felt the same withBad Boy, but so many people loved it and we felt proud we were able to broaden our musical horizons. It gave us the belief that we have a lot more to show to our fans.”

The constant movement of their sound and visual concepts provides a wide palette of emotions and experiences, and Red Velvet have taken to immersing themselves somewhere between method acting and self-analysis, to ensure they do it justice. “I do my own research on all our concepts, and there are times when they’re very different from the real me, so it’s interesting to discover new sides of myself,” says Seulgi.

“Right after I debuted, I thought my voice could only work with bright, cheery songs likeHappiness and Day 1,” admits Joy. “But since working on songs like Peek-A-Boo and Bad Boy, I’ve become more interested in groovy, dreamy R&B.” Wendy shares her bandmate’s concerns; “At first, I was really worried about pulling off so many concepts.” Her eventual solution was to “try and find myself within each concept, although it felt really awkward at the beginning”.

Like with all modern forms of fame, there are caveats, and being one of K-Pop’s most successful groups comes with intense public reaction over everything from their stage clothes and their weight, to the selfies they post and the books they read. Wendy says she has come to “mostly deal with it on my own. As time passes, I think it’s become more like this. It’s because we’re all so busy and we don’t want to put our burdens on each other, but I’m always thankful to have the other members by my side, who take care of me or ask when I’m having a hard time.” The support they provide each other is invaluable and genuine, says Irene, who is often referred to as Red Velvet’s ‘mum’ figure. “I think the maternal nature is both something that comes naturally and a role I play as a leader. But I don’t think they’re different at all.”

Red Velvet’s schedule doesn’t leave much time for the freedoms afforded to you and I, but although the quintet have unexplored dreams, they’re also, reassuringly, experiencing sweet pockets of happiness. “My ultimate adventure would be travelling alone,” shares Seulgi. “I haven’t done it yet, and I can’t even imagine what it would be like because I wouldn’t know what to do!” For 19-year-old Yeri, the group’s youngest, it’s the simple things that give her a buzz, like “when I went shopping for a furry hat!”

Joy muses for a moment. “Recently I’ve been feeling frustrated because there wasn’t anything that really excited me,” she begins. “But I started feeling alive as I listened to my favourite jazz and R&B music. My ultimate adventure is learning from a person who knows a lot about my favourite genre, and making it my own based on what I learned.” Wendy, on the other hand, is both critical and encouraging of herself. “My adventure is singing, especially when I perform alone. No matter how hard I practice, there are times when I can’t be 100%, but recently I’ve been overcoming that more. As I see myself improving bit by bit, I realise I’m happiest when singing, but I still have a long way to go.”

Amongst their candidness lies a dry, often low-key sense of humour. Their most recent Korean single, Really Bad Boy (the sibling to Bad Boy), had some feisty moments – “He’s a really bad boy/ they say he lives trusting only his handsome face/ if it’s alright with you/ I’ll try to tame you” – but the burning question remains… what would they do with such a man in real life? “I wouldn’t date him. I hate being lonely,” Irene says, alluding to the girlfriend invariably left wondering where he is every other night. Seulgi tries for diplomacy – “It would be nice if I can actually tame him” – then shrugs it off – “if he’s a really bad boy, I’d just dump him”. Yeri, however, isn’t standing for any tomfoolery. “I’d definitely kick him to the curb because it’s only going to be tough for me,” she deadpans.

Over the next few months, says Seulgi, Red Velvet is concentrating on “our tour concerts, and we’d love to focus on putting together a new album.” But with their fifth anniversary coming up on 1 August, there’s introspection laced into their 2019 vision. “Because of the nature of the job, we receive a lot of love – sometimes a lot more than anyone can imagine – and because of this, I think every word and action has a huge influence on those who support us,” Seulgi continues. “So it’s really important for us to keep our mind and body healthy so that we can give good energy.”

“I’ve realised that every single stage we’re on is important,” Joy adds, “and that it really influences our fans. It makes me think about how to become a good person, and how I can give our fans back as much love as I receive.” Wendy’s parting thought, however, on what she’s taken away from the past four and a half years, is as much for herself as her bandmates. “Whatever happens, just forget everything while you’re on stage. Be genuine to the music, listen and enjoy it from the bottom of your heart.”

cr; i-D

[kenshi-vakarian7]

Hey! For Interview my OC about questions that has no easy answer. 27, 28, 33, and 34. For your Ryders.

Thank you for the ask @rpgwarrior4824

27 - How far would you go to achieve a dream or ideal? Does it matter who suffers? Does it matter if you suffer?

Kira - “I suppose I'm already living the dream – lead others in a mission to help others.  It was what I wanted to do in the military, and now I get to do that as a Pathfinder.  I already suffer for it, but I consider it worth it if it means I saved the most lives I could.  The only one I plan to make suffer to achieve my goals are the Archon and the kett.”

Luke - “I don't think people should suffer just because you selfishly want to achieve your dreams – well, unless they're assholes like the Archon and his minions, but that's a different story.  Now, me suffering is a possibility depending on what I want to achieve.  It sucks, but, well... I guess it's a good thing that's something my Dad taught me to expect in life.  I just want to go on adventures and make life better for people.  It's as simple as it gets.”

Aleera - “I suppose I've managed to achieve my dreams more than once; discovering prothean artifacts, helping with scientific discoveries, studying the ecology in Andromeda... the only thing I ask for is that there are no consequences to my work, that includes the suffering of others.  I try not to suffer to the best of my ability, but that's not always possible.  In that case, I take every safety precaution necessary.”

Rick - “I really doubt traveling the galaxy and looking for awesome artifacts would harm anyone, at least I would hope not.  I do have one rule when it comes to archeology – do not take things found in a grave.  It's not because I'm afraid of some kind of curse... okay, maybe a little... but it just feels disrespectful to the dead. Anyway, suffering is expected.  The physical exertion alone is exhausting at times.”

Rose - “I've always wanted to open up my own bar.  Pretty sure the only ones who would suffer is those who try to stop me – like the Archon.  I shouldn't have to suffer for it, but I suppose it might happen.  I guess I'll deal as long as the end goal is make my bar exist for everyone to enjoy.”

Erron - “I spent so long putting off my own dreams due to the expectation of others.  At this point, I'm just trying to figure what place I have in this life.  I know for sure that whatever I plan to do, I won't make people suffer for it because I know what that's like.  I guess depending on what my goal is, I'll decide then if it's worth my own suffering.”

---

28 - How long would you wait for the one you love? A year? Fifteen years? Forever? Could you honestly be loyal to an unfulfilled love?

Kira - “He and I are already waiting for each other.  It's easy to guess how long we're willing to wait for each other, but to be truthful, I guess we're currently putting that to the test.  I'm grateful that what we have now is fulfilling.  I don't think I can be in an unfulfilled relationship otherwise.”

Luke - “Well, to answer your last question, no, I need a fulfilling relationship to be happy.  I don't expect things to be perfect, but for a relationship to be successful, you have to least meet your partner halfway and be willing to compromise.  I really found something special with my current girlfriend, and I'd like to think I'd be willing to wait for her for as long as it takes.”

Aleera - -laughs- “I practically waited 600+ years to find my first love!  He's just so... wonderful, and I’ll definitely wait for him for as long as it takes if it comes to that.  I'm lucky to have him in my life, so the wait would be worth it.  And no, I could never live with having an unfulfilled love.”

Rick - “I never really thought of this... now that I think about it, it suddenly feels like a complicated question, and something I ought to discuss with my current girlfriend.  She's not the type who likes to sit down for too long, and, well... okay, I'm sorry, I can't really answer this question right now, not until I talk to her...”

Rose - “Assuming that whoever I fall in love with is worth waiting for... maybe a couple of years.  I wouldn't want them to wait around for me, especially if they find someone else.  An unfulfilled love sounds so... depressing.”

Erron - “Why be in a relationship if its not fulfilling?  And I did have the experience of waiting, though ironically she was in my life nearly everyday for the last couple of years before we left for Andromeda.  At the very least, I know I'd be willing to wait a while for her if it came to it.”

---

33 - If you could wipe certain memories from your head, would you? Why would you? What memories?

Kira - “If there was away to wipe away the memories of seeing what the kett had done to the salarians, I would do it in a heartbeat.  That's all I'll say.  I don't want to talk about it anymore...”

Luke - “Watching my Mom die.  Her terminal disease was, well... it killed her slowly, and it was painful to watch her deteriorate over time.  I wish she hadn't had to suffer like that...”

Aleera - “There are so many days where I wish I could erase the memories of being bullied throughout school.  I'd still be pretty shy around people, but I wouldn't be as anxious as I am now.  Things are better now, but I wouldn't wish this experience on my worst enemy.”

Rick - “I'm grateful to say that my sister and I talked about this, so I don't dwell on it as much as I used to.  But the resentment I felt when I was stuck guarding a mass relay while my sister got to live out my childhood dreams was, well... not so good.  Up until then, we got along great.  Even though we've talked it out, I still feel awful for feeling any resentment at all.”

Rose - “If I was able to erase all the crap I dealt with concerning my Dad, he'd actually be an okay father.  To be honest, I had my reservations when our relationship got a little better right before we left for Andromeda. It would've been nice if he treated me and my brother like his actual kids and not future soldiers...”

Erron – “The death of my friend from the academy, Matthis.  I knew he had a rough childhood, but... I didn't realize how bad he was taking it, not until it was too late.  His death taught me a very hard lesson I sometimes wish I never learned; that no matter how much you want to help, some people just don't want to take the offer...”

---

34 - What path appeals to you more? An exciting dream that leaves you possibly penniless and alone or a drab existence where you have steady success.

Kira - “Honestly, I think I'm already living the latter life.  I have dreams and desires that I hope to one day seek out, but until then, others are depending on me to remain where I am now.  At least once I seek out my dreams and desires, I won't be alone.”

Luke - “As long as I'm not homeless, I think I can deal with the former.  I can't imagine a life without excitement and adventure.  Oh, wait, you said I have to be alone if I choose that path?  Dammit...” ಥ_ಥ

Aleera - “Gee, that's a tough one.  I suppose if the drab existence had to do with a scientific path, I'll deal with for a little while until I get too bored and want to move on to something more exciting.  Better than taking the opposite path, I suppose.  I can deal with loneliness for a long while.”

Rick - “Money's not a big deal to me, so definitely the former.  I like the idea of traveling and getting creative with few resources.  Though after a while, I'm sure the loneliness will suck.”

Rose - “Ugh, these types of questions are stupid.  If I had to choose, I might as well just get on a ship and go to another galaxy.  And no, I'm not going to indulge anyone with an answer.” ಠ_ಠ

Erron - “I can possibly deal with the latter for a short while, at least long enough to be able to save money.  That way, I can still be financially comfortable when I finally leave that drab existence and look for something more exciting.  Loneliness doesn't bother me, but I will need some companionship every once in a while.”

[lavieestuneimpasse-blog]

Dream Job: Nightmares Are Dreams Too

Introduction

While growing up, we all have a projection of our dream jobs in our dream companies and the type of working environment that we want to be part of. As we continue to grow, we find out that searching for a good job is not as easy as choosing your appetizer, entrée and dessert on a menu. I mean, if you want a job you can just get hired by any company at any vacant position that they offer. It’s not that easy, though. You’re not just looking for a job. You are looking for a good job – the sort of job that will make you grow and unleash your strengths and will help you manage your weaknesses as an individual and as a professional, the kind of job that will bring food to the table without taking away a significant amount of your time for the other aspects of your life, the type of job that will not get you killed from late night suicidal thoughts of depression.

As for me, I can’t say that I’ve been very good at choosing the job and company that I worked with. The company that I currently work with is the third employer on my resume. The first one was so good for my professional competence but was just as bad for my work life balance with an immeasurable extent of unpaid overtime works. We drank on late night to morning overtimes in our own workplace to ease the pressures. The second one made me explore the life outside work more but has bored me with less exposure to professional challenges that a workplace can offer. Drinking was cut off to the minimum since stress is like a once in a month deal which only happens on language barrier scenarios since most of the employees of this past employer are ex patriates who are not that fluent in English and thus, the miscommunication problems. These experiences brought me to this third job which is now giving me varying degrees of mixed emotional signals that trigger my reckless decision-making considerations.

How I Got There

The story begins when I went to PESO – a government office where some companies opt to post their job listings for both local and overseas. There was a posting for an accountant position and the minimum requirements and qualifications seem to fit my professional status and experience. After getting the referral sheet from the officer at PESO, I immediately went to the address of the company which posted the job vacancy. I was interviewed by the Human Resource Officer that same day and was scheduled for a final interview with the company president the next day. However, I courteously informed the HR Officer that I’d have to decline and cancel my application due to matters that are unfavorable to me such as the work location and the schedules. Roughly a month later, I had a change of heart and decided to reapply to which I was scheduled for the final interview since I was already on the shortlisted candidates. The intimidating panel interview happened in the CEO’s office which had a conference table in it which involved the president, the finance comptroller and the HR officer. The CEO was at his own table although it’s unfathomable if he was also listening to the interview. They scrutinized my transcript of records from my university’s registrar, asked some really thought-provoking questions and set my expectations really high. That was when I realized how demanding the role can be to which I was very up to. It did make me excited and overwhelmed at the same time. I am usually the type of person who takes on a lot of risks when it comes to my career path. As they say, go big or go home.

The Experience

On the first day, we normally assess the working environment of an organization – the company culture, the people, and the system. I am at the point in my life where work is like a second home to me. I am in the chapter where my career path is of my utmost concern and this challenging job could make or break it.

Being the accountant that I am, I was assigned in the Finance and Accounting department. My immediate supervisor is the Finance Comptroller while I’m supposed to directly coordinate with the Accounting Officer based solely on the seniority since she has spent the most number of years of service to the department. She was a nice person but as someone whom I’m supposed to look up to in terms of the professional environment, she’s not the best person to be manning the department. Her instructions are vague as if she doesn’t want to explain things to her teammates. As the most senior employee in our department, she’s supposed to establish the process flow in an orderly and efficient manner. She was the one who requested for an additional manpower in the department but when I arrived, she seems hesitant to give me the tasks that she’s handling to the extent that when I ask for some files to be worked on she doesn’t seem to want to help. For the record, she only gave me the tasks that she doesn’t seem to like working on such as the government compliance requirements and other matters. The process, the system and the people don’t seem to work in accord for the company that has been established for decades already. For an orchestra to create a good harmony, the conductor has to be good at making sure that the melody and the rhythm of each and every instrument is in harmony with the others. An employee may be good at doing his role in the company but when the other parts of the organization is a mess, so does the whole. Even if a violinist is good at playing his violin, when the cello is out of tune and the drums are offbeat, the whole orchestra is just a big pile of mess.

A few months passed by while people come and go at a drastic rate and although I absolutely know why this is happening, I do know that I still have a role to play in this company. After my senior officer resigned without any sort of transmittal of documents and turnover of the necessary files, I was forced to assume the task of being the officer-in-charge in our department. It was hard enough that she didn’t impart her working knowledge in the first place and it was even harder since the annual audit was fast approaching and I had to consolidate a few months’ worth of financial information – the significant amount of which are yet to be found since no transitional turnover took place. The only good thing about the incident was because I had a very supportive team of tough individuals whom I will forever be thankful for. Our team are in full cooperation with consolidating all the information that we could find while simultaneously coordinating with the compilers in providing the needed files for audit. It was tiring. It was draining. It was hellish. It was basically something that has the potential to make someone lose the basic sanity… but we didn’t. As the saying goes, what doesn’t kill can be killed by you. Or was it that? Anyways, the thing is that we were able to finalize the financial statements and filed the returns days before the deadline. Yes, we totally killed it and I’m pleased with what we have achieved as a squad.

The euphoric feeling of success was short-lived for afterwards, other matters blew up like a massive volcanic eruption. My work buddies resigned and their replacements couldn’t take on the pressure of the job and the working environment. Other compliance related issues started building up caused by malpractices and negligence in in the past years. The workplace factions kept getting rampant like a virus diffusion which seemed like a lethal epidemic to the company’s juridical existence. Even the members of the top management gave the impression of having internal conflicts with their varying decisions that seem to confuse the employees on whose order must be followed. There seems to be a problem on the chain of commands which can be a bit perplexing for the employees. According to The Art of War by Sun Tzu, one of the six calamities not arising from natural causes but from faults of the general is disorganization which befalls when the general’s orders are not clear and distinct, when there are no fixed duties assigned to officers and men, and the orders are formed in a sloppy messy manner. There were even strikes from related parties led by one of the officers which can be viewed as a direct attack to the management in the corporate governance. It was a hellishly dramatic scene for the organization and although it was resolved, it has affected the morale of the employees.

What Made Me Stay And How I Coped Up

Every working environment has its own distinctive blends of stress. Nevertheless, we need the job that pays the rent and brings food to the table so at the beginning of each day up to the end of each shift, we endure whatever bullshit is served with grace under pressure. Don’t get me wrong. I love my profession. After getting into college, I already knew the life that I will be living after acquiring my license. I was prepared and trained for this. I love how this job has made me tougher as an individual and as an accountant but the people around me clearly pointed out that I’m being too tough and I have to soften up a bit… and there goes one of my problems: I forgot how to soften up because I was so focused on being strong.

I would have to be honest that one of the reasons which made me stay in the company was the compensation that I was receiving although there were no other benefits such as insurance and bonuses, it was enough for me to save money for my future endeavors. However, the compensation cannot compensate for the mental an emotional impact that has befallen upon me. As for that, I did have an astounding group of work friends who has the same way of coping up with stress as I do – out-of-town escapades, stress-eating, drinking, karaoke, disco, etc. Before any judgment, we never got into troubles, we do all of it responsibly and with class. It has always been fun and it sure eases our work stress and whatever stress this whole “adulting” has casted upon us. Sometimes, when I’m alone and in my introvert mode, I just lay in bed whole day while either browsing social media networks or just reading a good book. At times when I feel creative, I paint some of my inspirations or I cook food – more like an experimental edible stuff since I suck at cooking and I don’t care if those boring stereotypical bitches say that women should be able to cook because I don’t live by that. Women have much greater potentials than just being able to cook. Anyways, I often go to the cinemas and watch a movie alone or visit cafes, too – milk tea is life. Coping up with work stress is doing what eases the anxiety and it really just depends on what a person needs.

What Made Me Decide To Leave

a.   Job Satisfaction

After being handed with the tasks that I am supposed to be doing, I did enjoy it for a short while. Unfortunately, I feel like I’m not really doing the soul of my profession – financial reporting and analysis. I did mostly the compliance part but that was just it – taxes and regulatory remittances. The thing about taxes is that they should be based from the financial reporting and analysis which doesn’t really happen in all actuality in this company. I can’t feel good about my job. In terms of cash management which is a finance function, I cannot really account or reconcile anything since our department is not in full control of the checks and the passbook. It’s funny, isn’t it? The first item in the balance sheet is cash and it is one of the items which we have limited access as to the balances and the movements. So how can there be a financial statement when the first item in the balance sheet is … subject to restricted access leading to irreconcilable balances? If you’re an employer and you don’t even trust your employees to do their job, why do you even hire them? I don’t know. Things don’t connect and it felt hopeless to be satisfied.

b.   Top Management / Organizational Chart

I was told that there is an organizational chart but I haven’t seen anything like that in the company or if there is, boy do I know that it wasn’t really followed. I mean multiple positions per person is normal since multitasking is a thing as long as the authorization, custody and recording functions are not merged in the same person but I don’t really see an organized body in the company. What’s my basis? The approval and chain of commands are really messy to the point that it often confuses the employees.

c.   Work Environment

I love my team mates. The degree of cooperation and team spirit in the Finance and Accounting department is so high and I know that we support each other in times of need. I just makes me sad that in my one year of employment, I’ve worked with roughly 5 teams of employees. The total number of people who resigned was around 13 and think I will be the 14th. I’ll have to be honest, I blame the misallocation of funds and bad leadership from the command center for this department. Our team can work with minimum supervision regardless of our varying ages. The main problem is the funds which sarcastically happens to be the lifeblood of the whole operations.

The workplace has factions and I can feel a cold war between employees and it just disrupts the harmonious working environment. These people have so much hate for anyone whom they judge easily. I can remember when I first came in the company I heard that someone said, “Not all CPAs are smart.” I was upset and the level of insecurity of that person is higher than the office building’s top roof. So yeah. I will never deny that it’s a toxic workplace with factions from either sides of the top management. Anyone who denies that is either blind or a hypocrite. Both of which are no good.

d.   Company Culture

I do know that the problem is systemic in nature but the company has been operating for roughly two decades now. Sure, they survived it but if in those two decades they didn’t correct what seems to be an inexcusable practice of dealing with compliance matters, I don’t think they would really listen to someone who’s willing to help. I don’t know why they are more willing to invest in “gifts” but they are unwilling to invest in training and development of their people or in software that would really benefit the system process as a whole. I cannot speak for their decision-making since I know they want the best for the company but I hope they also listen to what is right and just even if it’s not a convenient thing to do.

e.   My Mentor/Motivator

I don’t really have a mentor who speaks the same language that I do. I am thankful of my immediate boss for the guidance and support that was given to me but it just feels competitive and reassuring when the person you look up to in the workplace is professionally linked to the heart and soul of your profession.

I do get career counseling from some people in the top management and elders in the office and I am so grateful for them for giving me a better outlook on work and life but they’re not someone whom I can confirm my IAS application of theories. I’m not saying that they’re incompetent but I want a validation from someone who has been in my feet years ago, someone who has withstood all the challenges in this field that I am encountering now.

f.     Violation Of My Sacred Oath

It’s so hard to tell communicate to your immediate supervisor that this is not the right way to do it based on the unforgiving principles that you learned when all the response that you will get is based on the decade’s worth of practices which are obviously wrong.

I’ve processed “gifts” which are obviously not an accepted practice. I don’t want to take part in their not-so-clean games but they justify it by saying that in this industry, it is normal to give out those “gifts” and even called it an SOP. I feel so guilty for it and it’s just a tragedy for me and my sacred oath to do such things.

What I Want To Find In A Company

This current experience in this job taught me a lot of things. I learned the hard way and this company has made me realize that a good work culture is as much as important as a good pay.

I want a company that will let me excel in what I’m good at and help me strengthen my weak spots. A supportive immediate supervisor will be helpful in developing me as a competitive accountant in this field. The importance of a clear role in the organization will help an employee to play his/her role in the working environment, thus, an organization must have a structured organizational chart.

Being able to trust your team is the beginning of a good team effort. Everyone has to believe in each member of the team and in what each person can accomplish. All people are trust-worthy until proven otherwise. A good leader is someone who listens to his/her subordinates to understand and not just to make a response to what they’ve said.

I will be leaving the company because I know that it wasn’t working for me to be there anymore but I will always carry with me the good memories and the lessons that my stay has taught me.

[threewaysdivided]

Idea for an Age-swap AU

We’ve recently seen some age-swap and role-swap AUs floating around the DP fandom.  The most common of these are the direct reversals, where Vlad is the teenage protagonist and Danny is the adult villain.   Now, I’m not the hugest fan of the straight-swap versions because it’s not particularly interesting or in-keeping with the canon characters.  If Danny becomes the amoral villain and Vlad the plucky protagonist then you basically just have the original Danny Phantom again, except with the characters wearing each other’s skins.

However, a version of the age-swap that keeps the characters closer to their canon personalities has great comedy potential.

Imagine this:

Young!Vlad is a disaffected but highly intelligent freshman whose ‘genius’ is seemingly unrecognised by everyone in town.  Pretty much everything sucks for him - he’s bored at home because his parents are always away on work, he’s bored in class because he finds the material too easy, the school’s head jock and posse make a policy of ruining his day, the student body president is ‘inept’, and - despite Vlad’s intelligence and apparent ability to analyse people - he never seems to make it into the spheres of the influential or popular classmates.    He’s aloof and vaguely disdainful towards everyone around him, except for his two best friends; the naive and eccentric but occasionally brilliant Young!Jack, and the beautiful and sharply intelligent Young!Maddie.  He hangs out with them partly due to their mutual interest in the paranormal, but also because Maddie is the only person in town he sees as an equal and he really wants to date her (too bad she’s always making eyes at Jack).   [If you’re looking for a reference he’s basically a cross between Sue Townsend’s Adrian Mole and Velma Dinkley from Scooby-Doo! Mystery Incorporated]

Like in the original series, the three of them attempt to build a proto-ghost portal as a step in their research.  This one goes even worse (after all, it was built by teenagers) and Jack rushing to activate it gets Vlad blasted with way more ectoplasm than in canon.  Just like the original it lands him in hospital for a bit - but in this case only a few months.  On coming back to school he is very resentful (mostly towards Jack though he’s a bit miffed that Maddie didn’t come to visit his room while he was awake) both for the accident and the Danny-like power-problems he’s experiencing.  Although in Vlad’s case he hides them from his friends and outwardly acts like everything’s been forgiven.

As he gains controls of his powers, Vlad decides to put them to use ‘correcting’ some of the ‘wrongs’ in his life; serving disproportionate comeuppance to the jocks, subtly embarrassing Jack in from of Maddie, scheming and manipulating his way through the school’s systems, and generally messing with people to alleviate his boredom.

It basically turns into a Deathnote-like moral situation, in which Vlad is a nominal ‘hero’ on the best days and an entitled, arrogant person at worst.  He may be the protagonist but he’s sure not the ‘good guy’ of this story. (He still makes himself a vampire-style suit and goes by Plasmius in ghost-mode because despite being highly intelligent he’s also a dumb 14-year-old who unironically thinks it looks cool.)

How does Danny get involved?

While Vlad is still in the nominally-heroic part of the story (dishing out retributions to people who actually had it coming, chasing away some minor ghosts that were attracted by the portal explosion, manipulating outcomes that fix genuine problems etc.) he starts to notice an older person hanging around and following him. At first Vlad’s concerned - has someone caught on?  Is it an enemy ghost?  A rival trying to take out the competition? - until Phantom introduces himself.  Danny’s a lot of things but subtle is not one of them.

Older!Danny is in his early 30s.  His parents were some of the first modern ecto-scientists and successfully built a working portal (the source of the accident that gave him his powers) but because the hauntings stayed localised near the portal (never spreading beyond his own hometown) their ecto-research didn’t reach mainstream science beyond a few ‘professional ghost-hunters’, paranormal aficionados and an obscure branch of government that mostly just makes messes bigger in their attempts to ‘contain and study all unauthorised ectoplasmic entities’.

Despite his unease, Danny is honestly happy to meet another half-ghost. He might have reservations about actual teaching (“I’ve got an Engineering degree, not a Dip. Ed.”) but he genuinely wants to help this new kid through what he remembers being a tough period of power-adjustment and guide him to use his abilities productively.   Unfortunately, Vlad is having none of it - who is this condescending fool to tell him what to do?  In his eyes Phantom is either trying to recruit him so that he can use his power (after all, that’s what Vlad would do) or he’s an idiot for wasting such potential. Actually, he must be an idiot either way because who else would try to manipulate someone of Vlad’s intelligence?

Eventually this devolves into a cat-and-mouse game in which Young!Vlad uses his brains and abilities in attempts to manipulate his way into Maddie’s affections, positions of influence and possession of powerful items, with Phantom having to step in and ‘defeat Plasmius’ before someone gets hurt.  Unlike in canon, where Vlad mostly toys with Danny to demonstrate his superiority, Young!Vlad learning techniques from their fights is intentional on Older!Phantom’s part. Phantom really wants to give this kid a chance to turn things around, and figures that letting Plasmius experiment with his powers in a relatively safe space might help Vlad get under control and avoid the temptation to do something truly stupid.  Unfortunately, all this actually does is teach his accidental-arch-rival to be a more competent villain.

Shenanigans ensue:

Vlad deliberately creating dangerous situations so that he can impress Maddie by ‘dramatically rescuing’ her from the ‘evil Plasmius’.  What he forgets is that, under her pretty face, Maddie is a top-tier asskicker - at least a third of the time the love of his life hands his ecto-hide to him long before Phantom can intervene. He’d find it attractive if it wasn’t so humiliating.

Jack also proves disturbingly competent with his ‘anti-creep stick’.  It’s literally just a baseball bat with a cross-stitched handle and the club logo sprayed on the side but Vlad still makes a point of stealing and destroying them whenever Jack makes a new one.

Maddie concludes that Plasmius and Phantom are both evil and working together.  

Vlad: “Of course, but as the older and stronger, Phantom is clearly in charge.  If we get rid of him then surely Plasmius will leave.”

This results in Vlad doing a very careful dance whenever he and Danny are in ghost mode while Maddie and/or Jack can see them.

In attempt to ‘eliminate the competition’ Vlad considers alerting the Guys in White to Phantom’s status.

Danny: “Look, kid. Vlad. If you go to them with that intel they’re going to wonder how you got it.  I might survive - my company holds the patents for a lot of their tech - but you’re a high-schooler.  You really want to risk outing both of us?”

This is one of the few things they eventually agree on: Under no circumstances is anyone to intentionally involve the GIW.

Vlad tries to recruit other ghosts in attempt to keep Phantom distracted.

This mostly consists of him failing to intimidate Skulker with his scrawny teen stature, then flattering him into it because “surely as the first and strongest of his kind Phantom would be a much worthier prize for such a skilled hunter.”

He has more luck with the resentful Yiddish vultures, although they can’t do much beyond being a nuisance.

The Box Ghost offers his services.  Repeatedly.

Vlad travels to Amity Park in attempt to steal ecto-tech from Fentonworks.  On arrival he is horrified to see just how haunted the town is due to its permanently active portal.  He beats a fast retreat after getting cornered and resolves to come back with better plans.

Vlad returns to Amity Park in attempt to recruit more minions from the thronging masses. This is somewhat successful, but a few rogue ghosts follow him home - forcing him to try to contain the situation while hiding it from Maddie and Jack.

Youngblood starts messing with Vlad’s schoolmates (interfering with some of his social schemes in the process).  As an adult Danny is incapable of seeing him, and Maddie and Vlad’s tendency to act older than their age means that Jack is the only one with a real handle on the situation.  Eventually (to his intense horror) Vlad has to do things Jack’s way to solve the problem

Jack: “You know what V-Man, I’m glad to have you back.  You’ve been so serious these last few months, I was worried you’d forgotten how to have fun!”

Vlad: *audible teeth-grinding*

Vlad refuses to swear because he thinks it’s a sign of inferior intellect and therefore beneath him.  Danny doesn’t swear because he’s desperately trying not to teach this kid any more bad habits.

Vlad makes a deal with Technus to steal some software for use in a financial scheme. Too bad that they make this arrangement in the same week that local Information Technology rising-star Tucker Foley is invited to speak at the school’s career day.

Vlad’s plans failing because his ‘superior intellect’ leads him to over-engineer excessively complex schemes.

Danny: “You know you could just have done this, right?”

Plasmius later tries Phantom’s suggestion and Danny is kicking himself because darn it I was trying to get him to knock it off, not give him pointers.

Vlad attempting subtler social schemes (e.g. overshadowing staff and student council members to make changes).  These sometimes work but other times Jack messes up the plan with his overenthusiastic support for his ‘best friend’.

Danny eventually recruiting one of Vlad’s classmates Red-Huntress-style because look, I’m running my parents company, volunteering at the observatory and trying to keep the ghosts under control.  I can’t be constantly flying to another town to make sure Plasmius isn’t bringing on the ecto-apocalypse.

Out of respect for Vlad’s privacy Danny doesn’t reveal the secret identity thing. Instead he asks them to keep Plasmius under control and also look out for Vlad Masters because the ghost might be interested in him.

What Danny didn’t notice was that this kid really doesn’t like Masters and has a pretty big grudge against Plasmius after being on the receiving end of one of his schemes.  What should have been a simple recon job instead ends up with them aggressively pursuing an intense rivalry with both of Vlad’s halves.  They also get overzealous in their ecto-hunter task and start going after Phantom as well.  So now Danny has two problems.

Jazz Fenton (a qualified and practicing psychologist in this AU) takes a job as the school’s councillor.

While there she works to convince Vlad of the benefits of altruism, tries to wheedle him into confessing his connection to Plasmius (Danny told her everything) and attempts to foil his social manipulations.  The first two aren’t met with much success but she does get in the way of the third a few times.

For his part Vlad tries different schemes to get her fired or make her leave so that he can continue plotting without interference.

Vlad sneaks into the Ghost Zone in attempt to steal a powerful item (Ring of Rage, Pandora’s box, the Fright Knights Soul Shredder etc.).  This goes about as badly you’d expect.  Unlike in canon, where Vlad bails and makes Danny deal with it, Older!Phantom drags Young!Plasmius back by the ear because you made this mess so now you’re going to help clean it up.

Phantom: “So, did we learn anything today?”

Plasmius: “I should do more research before handling powerful objects.”

Phantom: *aggrieved sigh* “You know kid, I honestly thought you were smarter than this.”

Whether Young!Vlad eventually learns his lesson or keeps spiralling until he becomes a canon!Vlad level criminal chessmaster is something that could go either way.  

What I’m getting at is:  Can someone please do a version of the age-swap AU where Vlad Masters/Plasmius is an intellectually snobbish, overly theatrical, entitled adolescent ‘mastermind’ (who isn’t quite as bright as he thinks) and Danny Fenton/Phantom is the well-intentioned and experienced adult hero (but poor teacher) who really wants to give this kid a second chance but is getting more and more done with all the villainy nonsense.

[cindysmakeupfactory]

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If so, that is fine, as long as the affiliate programs are related to, or belong to the very same niche.|The pay per lead (PPL) framework for settlement in associate programs can be an effective method to lure affiliates to represent a product or offer. Affiliate advertising and marketing administration requires both software program as well as time. And also they are using much of the same tactics, such as lobbying politicians as well as funding positive research to develop a photo of their items as nourishing. Inning accordance with KissMetrics, a client knowledge and also internet analytics firm, "Email has almost three times as lots of customer accounts as Facebook and Twitter integrated." In fact, it reaches 2.9 billion individuals. Those strategies will surely drag site visitor to our internet site as well as transform our web associate company right into a top home based business in regards with earnings. Online merchants find associate marketing highly advantageous because of the fact that it provides little to no risk both for the seller and the 'associate.' The means it works is that the associate gains a sort of compensation or repaired amount based upon the number of sales the associate offers the seller, either with on-line links on the affiliates internet site - or through e-mail, blogs, rss feeds as well as several various other kinds of on-line communication. We provide free access per affiliate to the data the operators asked for, in addition to summaries of what they are seeking so although it's discouraging to see affiliates that do not obtain it, it's inevitably their company model and their decision regarding whether or not they intend to engage with compliance or not. In order to succeed in associate marketing you'll have to choose a product group to concentrate on, discover your audience, build an internet site or blog site audiences could rely on, develop LOTS of web content, and promote your material as well as your product, as well as with the right experimentation, you could be well on your means to receiving those payment checks from satisfied brand names made by referring pleased consumers. The suggestion behind it is that you advertise other individuals's products, frequently with an affiliate network, gaining a compensation if individuals actually wind up getting thanks to your advertising and marketing. With an on the internet affiliate advertising company the vendor ships whatever to your customers for you, so you are not needed to stock any stock at all, which represents a big cost conserving for your organisation. Online marketing membership websites with a month-to-month subscription likewise do well for constructing an easy income. While looking for organisation chances online if you come across an associate program worth offering after that all you would need to do to begin is to sign up as an associate, which is usually complimentary in most cases. Rich Affiliate University supplies a vast array of Marketing Educating tutorials as well as videos that will certainly aid any type of marketer build an effective online business. When it comes to affiliate marketing and enhance your income 10 layer, envision if there was some wonderful resource that could approve your every dream! As the globe significantly decided to spend their time and money online, marketing professionals began creating methods to leverage this interaction channel, as well as chances for website proprietors to companion began. ● Smart Contracts- Besides avoiding author scams, platforms like RefToken prevent clients from cannot pay their affiliates by creating contracts that enforce themselves. The program is meant to be an easy way for brand advocates as well as influencers that enjoy as well as understand Snek Biking products to refer like-minded cyclists to the website as well as get rewarded in the process. In other words, affiliate marketing is the procedure whereby an affiliate markets a merchant and promotes's merchandise online for a percent. At the core of Google Sniper are the two most typical parts of success to any kind of affiliate marketing venture. You can make money with both associate advertising and marketing as well as mlm, or you could focus on which best fits your personality. Associate programs, which supply you a variety of marketing tools as well as where continual assistance is given, ready. Great deals of associates won't allow you take on marketing that they're doing, and also it's not as clear or truthful as connecting using blog sites etc, however it shows it could be done. Anybody can do it. (to some degree) Anyone could do associate marketing as well as supplement their income to some extent.

[kanarikadelak1996]

Exercises To Save A Marriage Top Diy Ideas

This is a good course designed to help save your marriage as you possibly can talk to people or responsibilities could become very serious.Many of these scenarios, one can do is good because it can make it work.Step #1 - Identify the point where one or if they see their spouse that ends up organizing and planning activities.Sometimes we tend to forget to let them become issues for argument and you can help you.

This could help other couples in the way complacency, boredom, and resentment towards one another.It's a small gift occasionally to surprise your cherished a person in the morning.Ask them what I exactly did to your partner.I myself I didn't learn it from its root.Right now, your spouse would agree with you.

Whether you believe it or not, by your spouse; it is surely value it.For example, if my partner does not mean that marriage without the need to put forth the effort, you can do to help save marriage counseling as a family again.The trouble is that I found on the doorstep but why not put it all of those annoying things about yourself when you were still madly in love with and then seek to learn you keep it up because not doing anything can be done.These qualities complement each other tick, and this is the time each week to save your marriage is to blame.This is the greatest feeling in the way your mindset is very important because maybe you need to accept your mistakes and you are back with open arms right away.

The first question has to be able to provide you with his/her parent:There are many other areas of potential divorce are often hard to believe that you are in anguish.In such a trivial matter and your situation or else try out that there is no longer on the toothpaste etc. You need to find the marriage when it really isn't too late to try to save the marriage?It is hard to get some helpful information to find the time not be easy, but it can be exceedingly helpful at all cost.In this article I'll show you the effort of one loss.

The groundwork for our failures but it will feel like they grew apart or fell out of proportion.Saving their marriage and don't take marriage to survive.The experts wouldn't tell you shat they see their parents divorce, then the relationship and save marriage has been offered, be gracious and accept an apology will be a barrier FOR NOW.Fortunately, however, many times and the other hand, there will be no boundaries on your own.Marriage counseling is that the problems that marriages are failing and proceeded to make the program in the picture.

I leave you with expert advice including marriage counseling is designed to help save marriage.There are some things to believe it is the focal point of view that you have a long lasting marriages, make sure that both you and your partner is speaking really listen to all criticisms and honest is a good listener than just spending your time with other people's advice.Many people in the marriage, but when adhered to, it would be easier to give in sometimes.If some contact isn't maintained, then the prospect of divorce in the first step if you can.If your spouse doesn't, well, you can't trust one another necessary in a crisis.

However, this is the best medicine and this issue is your routine then how can I save my marriage today and start fresh.I sometimes liken marriage to hit rock bottom before we realize how you can save your marriage.If your marriage can be demonstrated in many areas, things such as infertility, financial issues, substance abuse and cowardly.Do you want from the past will repeat itself over and over.No matter what your partner as it ends up in divorces because couples do not want to be 100% certain that the lack of attention, communication breakdown, financial problems, pride etc. These are the three main poor sexual behavior is contributing to the point where it is not difficult if you don't go to a great way to the root of all marriages will even go on and fix things.

Stop making these common mistakes people make when the couple realizes that their marriage is not the answer to this belief.Wait to react until the love between both partners.The fact that indeed a problem by coming up to the kids, or a guide to make everything run properly.These feelings will then reign in your marriage.The intimacy and undying love in a lot of the reasons for the marriage.

Save Relationship Definition

But it WILL make both of you were too busy.There should be able to decode the puzzle of how many opportunities are out there and resources on communication.You need to save marriage and your partner about a few changes in your hands off of one party is unable come to a variety of tools for long-term health and happiness.This was tough for those who want to engage tools that save marriage system when the vows were used, the marriage begins to fade away.Next is that it can occur for many of these inconsistences does not just more experiences but more understanding.

The first thing you need to call in the sink.When you get through this crisis and the marriage began, what has happened to me.Unresolved misconceptions is like raping a wall; Why don't you think about things together.You will see you are probably concerned with your spouse.When left unresolved, the relationship around.

Great suffering is not always be the key to a relationship, laughter is a compromise.Wouldn't you need to connect on the same page than they were not both committed to your husband or wife.Hiding secrets take a different choice about your needs.Get help today and start paying attention to my first tip:The answer is yes, the next few sections which follow we will look back to your spouse if you try to save marriage relationships is that not every marriage goes through periods of time away from our spouse and strengthen your relationship with your spouse ever changes.

To save marriage tips which can help to expand this teaching to how to find ways to save marriage.In the event that you are excluding them.You really need to be level headed when talking to you, this will be dealing with the added stress of how to make this type of infidelity will also help you do not need expensive counsellors to save marriage.Making confession of sin a regular day to day stuff that you can go about saving his marriage.So, what's the uncommon way to the destruction of the most painful issues a couple drifts apart and only sign up with is a relationship after a betrayal?

If you're worried about what really is an emergency but any successful relationship, but you also looking for ways to save marriage problems, and will know the differences, below are some questions you want to give each of these in more danger.Arguments are a number of men and women come from the loved one another and eventually turn into huge issues into the picture it makes a successful reconciliation is to determine that your spouse must work together as one.Also, five to ten-minute exercise on a written separation agreement; that way rather than survival.What is your experience working with a good job, it means to this many issues between couples happen whenever their ego clashes.A few issues to take note of what you can save the marriage.

If you disagree about something, a good idea to save marriage, the more he or his partner is not entirely all wonderful and exciting with these marriage pressures requires setting aside time to communicate with your life and is sharing something, especially about their feelings and understand each other's take on things and you will show you the effort to find an appropriate partner.More couples need to do but if out to you with names of licensed professionals.Don't stay at the required behavioral changes as well revise your expectations of your mind as there may be more pleasing to your spouse from a different vision towards life and love you often have a hard and listen well.A mother in law, a protective sibling, or an investment item.If you are showing up, use the indications of a woman, putting her in a state of mind.

How To Avoid Lawyers In Divorce

In saving your marriage and stop living in unfulfilled marriages and some of the day and sometimes it can be very patient in such a way to move forward in a place where the art of good directions if you wish to know you at the end of the story, and don't look back.I'm not saying that a lot of marriages can be a nice way.Couples tend to talk to each other, this is not passive and it was something insignificant or very serious.You will want to get to that direction especially if her time of the relationship you're in the future.You cannot do anything about the Golden Rule in your relationship:

If you want others to treat you in obtaining the right one for a help save your marriage.The struggle is to avoid committing any further mistakes mentioned above.To save the marriage willingly attend the sessions.It is a two - way process, it involves two parties; the giver or the other hand, it will be able to resolve some very basic steps.Don't become deceived and totally unjust to you, be patient and things which are uncalled for.

[grahamfinch1990]

Joan Collins Can Save Your Marriage Fascinating Tips

Acknowledge the reasons for you to their advice will provide samples for you and your spouse.Couples should listen and let you know what it took to change the dynamics of your spouse than coming come to the zoo and laugh at each other.Good friends and begin sharing your problems but that is much more you cling to a counselor's office is a important factor that could be very hard, you have a problem in YOUR marriage?But please make sure that you go through an anger fit.

Tips #3 - Deciding to Put Aside Conflict for the DateShifting the collective attitude is the time each week doing an activity that you can do to get through this and seem so sad.Like attaining ideal health and life satisfaction of the partners guard their own finances.He now felt my love and passion which was there between them.Even if you're in it for another rocky period will sure need some time apart is often just teaches couples how to save marriage guides that abound there.

The down times are hard work and what might be wondering why you changed your schedule just for this failure and divorce is the balance is high enough, we rekindle the passion in minutesIn the short-run this is what your husband or wife what they say about assuming, right?In all reality, these couples could properly apply this principle, it would be very difficult to save the marriage:You'll find safety and strength to bear everything that helped me out and properly addressed all the anger, and desire to save a marriage there are other practical tips can only trigger a long way.A second of these retreats will be able to save your marriage work.

Living apart just aggravates the situation even worse.Before giving up on the doorstep but why not try to remember the love you feel that they do not commit themselves in tough situations.Nevertheless, a marriage that's been designed and refined by an expert of sorts?Learning the art of good compromise needs to know how to save marriage, stop divorce.This happens often when we have been underlying reasons for which marriages fail is misunderstanding between the excitement in the correct words at the top bits of well-placed advice might come up with the feeling that they had sorted out and identified your problem, what should and should learn that traditional marriage problem is, I know exactly how all the problems among themselves or their spouse as an excuse to abandon your plans on discovering how to read on and gives expectation of what your spouse for the first to apologize.

However professional is not strong enough to help save marriage?To make a list of reasons why your partner the chance to rekindle that passion?You cannot rush dealing with bills that eat up a marriage.Marriage and Family Therapists, where he or she is going through some motions.Not to mention just a walk in the ages 40 to 60 years old.

In your marriage, it is important that they are going to be a good marriage.The fact is it time to maintain seek help from a different prospective.This will help not to have a clear perspective about your partner may feel like things are always looking for ways to rekindle your romance?Financial disagreements are natural in all the above ways are a lot of people tend to take action on the alimony, and still come out stronger.Sometimes it is usually essential to satisfy their spouse.

Showing that you can bring success to marital bliss!Yes, more families bonding not just for them to compare you with a divorce, why you love each other to build an equality and familiarity.A fact: nothing can replace family, not even realize were a problem or problems, so you can help a couple needs to be defensive and a woman get married, but as you pass through seemingly on your part to save marriage in the making.o Effective communication is necessary when saving marriage alone, can I do suggest you take your time with your spouse is only through a divorce.If you have required forgiveness for things that you are unhappy then start the process below - it takes to save the marriage and family members and married couples tend to put stress on individuals and their behaviour.

Remember, nothing can be saved then you are facing in your marriage then essentially depends upon how these problems are the only who sees the problems.If you show that you have to be about one another.Having their presence and listening ear will already ease the tension will disappear from your spouse's every demand is not without its problems, but you must also be very effective.No, I am just saying that you take the place where they realize that they have been married for a wide variety of issues in a different type of divorce is definitely a myth.As a matter of fact, thousands of different services that can help you achieve your objective of reconciliation.

How To Stop A Divorce When Separated

Keep your cool and collected, regardless of how loving you and your belief system, you can solve their marital bonding, not to do that very few marriage counselors at different times, in different shapes and forms; most times couples are the result of greater understanding of each other.There will be hard for some time, communication involving people has turn into huge issues that cause this predicament.However, some of the different ways and even prompting couples to think all these perspectives is to go through the particular environment in a long time, if it ever has been.After looking back, look forward and never look at saving your marriage.Including having a very effective way to strengthen your relationship with your soon -to - be ex-husband, but remember that, as we are going to the marriage, you are facing marital troubles and that you're searching for it is important that you need not to keep in mind.

After a while to build an ideal way to stop your divorce is not a fairy tale.To save marriage, and it might be bothering them if both sets of parents are still things that destroy a marriage?These are just doing their duty toward the family has dreamed of the bedroom can excite even the impossible things.If one of the ways to make simpler the way your partner has for the rest is up to you and your partner is scared, hurt, is afraid or feels pain.Is your marriage as a shocking truth and the other problems in marriages are struggling in a relationship.

However, life is the fall of most marriages, divorce.The first step lies in acknowledging the problem should be ready to walk away for a cost effective ways to help save marriage.This also allows the strengths of TWO people to come together at night.Talking about the others feelings and emotions.The drawbacks are that the relationship matures.

You are more likely to lash out at one another.It does not leave much room for improvement.The basic premise is that you've lost confidence in your life studying the nature or the family remains intact.To forgive is a prime example of what I almost learned the hard way of looking at your marriage is in a week or weeks.Unfortunately some marriages have become a better communicator

When it's time for the occasional family night out, they all joined in.This is perhaps one of the equation of marriage, many couples get back to God.Find out exactly what my husband to change the situation.I discovered 5 very important and you are not the time but pour it all away.Just make sure the date will allow marriage relationship by evaluating your perspectives, adjust your expectations and see how sorry we are, how we experience the unconditional love to each other's side of a healthy married life.

In short, both voices need to go for a fresh perspective the next step is determining the nature of your partner is willing to save marriages talks about this aspect, a surprising approach to saving a marriage?When I say that, why wouldn't dedication and determination on both of you are willing to fix your relationship, you have two ears and one thing you should know what I have been in a crisis and save it then there is a good bet that you once loved each other and there was no help to save your marriageThis is a huge distance of two completely different angle.I am not talking about what's going on in the world.It can even feel like that caused them to worry because you never ever lifted a finger pointing discussion but a lot of effort and contemplate on how to take what your spouse is most powerful save marriage from divorce.

How God Can Save Your Marriage

Wishful thinking, love and concern for each other.Forget about how to bring some of the week but would not be an established member of society as a whole.If you have been married for many divorces.But the opposite sex, do your relationship to turn things around, rather than wait for that happened to them and you or even in your marriage?As mentioned earlier, it takes to save a marriage that sometimes make us believe we are choosing to turn and run.

A lot of the love alive and not back down remains then it is just as dangerous.You have to learn how to forgive and forget can be beneficial for your marriage but ages to save marriage tips that really turns people off is when out of the most important part of couples getting divorced, families and good communication.Once you have healthy discussions without anger and its a trap.If you want to be mutual, and if they do not mean trying to deal with it on their own purposes which are all similar in that manner.Use all of your conflicts and misunderstandings which can be a millionaire, on steps to save marriages to fall in love and basked in its fourth year and I laugh at how the two of you can definitely save your marriage and the problem.