#wait can you? idk uk law

[rearranging-deck-chairs]

those thoughts i had abt zephyr and the wanting to live vs wanting to stop fighting and saying "my name is" and your beloved going "i'll tell them your name if you die" got me so bad they overrode my aversion to the idea of marriage and this happened:

[enqmind]

There's something I keep seeing in TF141 CoD fic that I find somewhat perplexing.

'He'll take you down to the courthouse in the morning ❤️'

>.>

<.<

No he won't.

Maybe the fic or thot is set in America, or some other such nation, but the fact is that you just can't get married on a single day's notice in the UK. It's a bare minimum of twenty nine days between giving notice and ceremony.

(The only exception to this being if you can prove that you think someone is about to die.)

So, even if it isn't set here, the thought of a day's notice wedding likely wouldn't occur to any of them (except maybe in Vegas, idk). Maybe they don't know what the minimum is, but it likely wouldn't occur to them that they could do it that fast.

Additionally, the standard place for a non-church wedding ceremony isn't the courthouse, it's the registry office. Which he'd probably refer to it as before catching himself in a non-UK setting.

I don't actually know the (likely) fifty seperate sets of laws on this in the US, but I can tell you what the laws are here.

And, as far as I can tell, if the two people live in the same district and there are no immigration concerns, then one of them should be able to give notice. (If they live in different districts, they have to seperately inform both. If there is an immigration concern, it's more complicated still and likely will involve them both.)

(Also, looks like you need to live in a district for only seven days before you count as 'living there'.)

(I'm mostly not sure because I'm a spinster.)

What I do know for sure is that once the twenty nine days are over and the paperwork is all done (it can take longer), you must wed within a year of giving notice.

So there's two dark fic ideas built on UK law for you:

Your CoD man of choice having to keep the reader around for twenty nine days before dragging her to the registry office.

Your CoD man of choice moving to reader's district, waiting for seven days, giving notice, waiting twenty nine days and only then making his move via an unprotected one night stand or what have you.

Ooh, ooh, and I just thought of a third option.

3. Your CoD man of choice using his military occupation and connections to pretend to be mortally wounded to force a quicker notice period before making a ~+*miraculous*+~ recovery after the ceremony. (But I wouldn't count on that being less than a few days at the least.)

(IDK, the military might get special privileges, but I am not putting in the effort to find out what they are.)

That's just what things are like here. Sadly, this also applies to Gretna Green, so no Vegas style weddings in His Majesty's realm T-T.

[snalsupremacy]

2023 events

2022 events list

Again, these are not all of the events, just the ones i happen to come across with

- All of Sherlock Holmes is now officially public domain - Lil Nas X back at it again with... THE WIGGLES?! - Noah Schnapp, who plays Will Byers in Stranger Things, comes out as gay - US gov can't vote for a speaker of the house - McCarthy wins speaker of the house after 15 votes - Bolsonaro supporters storm the Congress and vandalize the whole place, are arrested on location -golden globes n stuff -JOJO LEAK JOJO LEAK ITS A BOY ITS A BOY -Lisa Marie Presley, daughter of Elvis Presley, dies at 54 -M3gan is a gay icon pass it on -AO3 down, 40 injured 15 dead -New FOB album - Velma show unsurprisingly sucks - Pink Sause on wallmart -Paramore back & new album coming soon - UK blocks scottish law that helped trans people and this might lead to their independence (pls) -TUMBRL ADDED POLLS! TUMBRL ADDED POLLS!! - #team snail worm deserved to lose the centopéia or however you say in english winning was RIGGED AND I CAN PROVE IT - Pete Wentz leaked Brendon Urie’s oncoming baby which leads him to breaking up Panic! At The Disco. Finally. - Holy fucking bingle! Trans Bi Lesbian It/She pronouns swiss hacker just leacked the US no-fly list, and plot twist, its very racist, what?! :3 - Justin Roiland is fired from Rick and Morty for being a bad person - Cecil from welcome to nightvale defeats Reigen in the Tumbrl Sexyman rematch pools! Idk who he is i just voted him bc i dont want reigen to win. -CECILSWEEP IS EVERYWHERE THE FINALS ARE SANS VS CECIL WHO WILL WIN - CECIL PALMER WITH THE STEEL CHAIR BEATS SANS TO PULP AT THE BACK OF PAPA JOHN'S!!! -The last of Us everywhere, seems to be a good game adaptation! glad to see more of those!

-Toby Fox scores the very first interview with creator of Yume Nikki, kikiyama with 9 yes or no questions and 1 "free response" question asking what they would get at a Denny's -FNAF movie officially starts filming - Marceline wins tumbrl woman - Just vote for vanilla extract and waive boys, just vote for vanila extract and wave - 7.8 earthquake hits Turkey and Syria, thausands of casualities - Spotted chinese (?) spy baloons (?) in America - Now theres a Tumbrl vanilla extract bottle, awesome - Hogwarts Legacy release discourse follows - Tear of the kingdom trailer out this is the most emotion link has shown in canon in 36 years - Youtube channel schaffrillas productions gets involved in car accident, Christopher Schaffer and Patrick Phyrillas pronounced dead on site while James Phyrillas in critical condition - Italian manwhore summer (Sanremo) - Netflix creating something thats gonna ruin password sharing people and everyone is mad - Brianna Ghey, 16 yo trans teenager, is stabbed to the death at a park -THE JOJOLANDS! AMAZING! MINDBLOWING! LIFE CHANGING! NEVER THE SAME! 10/10! -Succession will end in S4 -NEW MAGNAPINNA SQUID FOOTAGE HUNTING??

-New gen of TMNT (Mutant Mayhem)!! -Minesota lagislature makes trans health care (wait for it) LEGAL! - New mario movie trialer the babygirlification of Luigi continues -Willow project approved ‘_’ - More anti trans legislation. whats the news - Esc songs dropped the guy w the green top is already tumbrl’s top 1 jenn should have won etc etc -Gerard Way presenting in full office lady style. Tbh im just more impressed he did a show in tights. - Jojolands #2 out! Hot dog guy has a name now and Rohan canonically transcend the multiverse! - Taylor Swift eras tour congrats swifties - ICC issues arrest warrant to Vladmir Putin for war crimes -Trump to be arrested -Arab Cartoon Network hacked (Update: hacking was fake) - Tik Tok banned on government phones after spying accusations -New FOB album - The ladies from RWBY just kissed! mazal tov! - Justin Roiland case dropped - Kid in brazil attacks school teacher with knife - School shooting in US - Resident Evil 4 remake - Dobi dies in a glue trap -Trump got indicated, idk what that means but seems bad for trump which is good

-10 year anniversary of the Mishapocalypse - Ofc all your fave properties do an April fool’s special,, most notably Toby Fox’s “accidental foam pic” and Sonic The Hedgehog free murder mystery game that looks gorgeous?? they take the trophy this year -Kasane Teto gets her official voicebank for her 15th anniversary -wait... the DSMP is over..? it ended..? for real..?? WOOOOOHOOOOOOOOOOOLLLLLL!!1!!11!!!!!11 - Dalai Lama [redacted] [redacted] [redacted] - Harry Potter HBO series... just what we needed ‘_’ - Misha Collins reveals Warner Brothers wanted him to stay out as bisexual after that one off joke last year - Out of touch thursday on 4/20 we did it boys - We DOUBLE DID IT BOYS! Elon Musk’s rocket explodes because he forgot to build a flame diverter?? Or did he not build one on purpose? Anyway no one was inside THANKFULLY - Movie markplier is working on is revealed to be..IRON LUNG?! - Elon Musk takes out all the unpaid blue check marks expecting the celebrity accounts to pay for them, instead #blocktheblue movements started in which you block all users with blue check mark, Musk then responds to this by awarding random popular users with check marks -Tucker Carlson fired, ill b real, I have no idea who he is -Don Lemon also fired, again, idk who he is - Ray Toro and Gerard Way on fnaf movie soundtrack?!? -Disney sues Florida governor Ron Desantis, woag.. I cant believe im saying this but it’ll be easier to make the governor leave than the rat theme park

-JASON DERULO JUST FELL OFF THE STARS AT THE MET GALA! 😱😱😱 - WGA on strike! -And may Eurovision posting begin! Im rooting for finland what ab y’all - Tony Hawk and chocolate guy collab?!?!?!?! -ABSOLUTELY BULLSHIT EUROVISION RESULTS KAARIJA IS THE REAL WINNER SWEDEN BE DAMNED -FNAF trailer drop -Barbie Movie trailer drop -IDubz apologises for content cop, better late than never ig -Succession finale - I saw that execution clip from generation loss cuz it cant be thaaat fucked up right? haha.... im traumatized -Seth Everman announces he will leave the internet in 200ish days -Ted lasso ends, and so, pride month begins.... -Hank Green got cancer

-Happy pride month guys! - Jojo musical adaption of Phantom Blood confirmed - Russian occupiers in Ukraine blew up the Kakhovka Hydroelectric Power Station -Across the spiderverse takes the internet by storm AS IT SHOULD - Fires in canada kinda spreads the smoke like all around and its all a gray haze over there -Kaarija and Bojan concert together doing a shit job at beating ther allegations happy pride month kings -Hank Green is bisexual, likes Brennan Lee Muligan, and found that out because of wreck it ralph cosplays i can’t believe this is real -Redit blackout? 196? im very confused, but the redditors are here and tumbrl are welcoming them WAY better than we did twitter users which i find fitting lol -Adrien and Marinette from miraculous lb finally kissed omg its been like 8 years?? insane -The Idol sucks - Shit submarine w 5 people goes missing and the more we find out the more inevitable it felt       • Oceangate...gate brings awareness to migrant ships who drown and kill hundrents of migrants       • Iron Lung game sell suddenly spikes       •Submarine found, it imploded, all passengers dead - Joes Biden (US president)'s son committed tax fraud -Mark Zuch and Elon Musk are going to fight?? -Military coup in Russia (failed) -Miranda sings revolutionizing the YouTuber apology genre by apologizing for groomer allegations via ukulele - wtf is a grimace shake - Happy pride month! US overruled law prohibiting homophobic discrimination based on religion!

-Nimona is out! I haven’t watched it yet but the reception is great! (Edit: watched it, its good) -Superman finally got his long deserved sailor moon style transformation. good for him. -AO3 down, 500 dead 756 injured (Update: AO3 is down due to DDOS attack, which is when a group overwhelms the website with requests. This seems to be made by a group who claims to be doing it for homophobic reasons tho they likely have uterior reasons) -SAG-AFRA joins WGA strike - Universal prunes trees outside their building to try and prevent WAG/SAG-AFRA picket line. However, these trees are city property and "tree law" (heavy fine for destroying gov owned nature) might be called into action - Happy Barbenheimer tho all who celebrate - MITSKI ALBUM ANNOUNCEMENT?! - Fnaf DLC smth smth eclipse - Elon Musk tries to change twitter to X ? - Good Omens season 2 finale so tragically good it re animated OFMD SPN and Hanibal into trending page

- Tik tok parody of every 90's euro disco song goes viral - New James Webb telesc ope picture shows a giant ? in space. poetry. - Forest fires in Hawaii destroying homes -Anti semetic hate crime against USP teacher in Amazonas - Tik tok tried to create their Goncharov (Zepotha) and it turns out to be a plot to promote a musician's new song - Planet of the bass music vide out!! - Trump might actually get arrested, mugshot and all - Who thought it was a good idea to make the actor portraying Bernstein in the new biopic wear a PROSTHETIC NOSE?? - India first country to land on south pole of the moon! - Someone tracked down spanish spn’s rogue translator, who claims he did not add that in, meaning in some version of spn destiel was canon - Riverdale ends with all of them in a polycule. Which honestly is the best possible ending - TRUMP MUGSHOT TRUMP MUGSHOT

-That mole do be interesting -Castiel 15th birthday WAIT 15?? A DECADE AND A HALF?? - Ladybug and Chatnoir are emo now. Like, literally. - WGA strike succesfully ends -The Pokemonx Miku collab is everything actually - WGA stricke officially ends wed 27/9 12:01 AM, the deal is finalized and the writer’s guild got most of what they wanted! yay uniuns!

- Israel-Palestine conflict breaks into full on war with many casualities on both sides -NOOOOOO BAKUGO IS ALIVE PUT HIM BACK IN THE GRAVE!! KILL HIM AGAIN!!

- Spock wins the AO3 polls unsuprisingly - youtuber SSSniperwolf doxxes youtuber JacksFilms -Merlin twitter account is active...why? -Mathew Perry, Friends actor and advocate for alcoholism and drug abuse issues dies at age 54

-Happy 3 anniversary to Nov 5th -THANK G-D ATTACK ON TITAN IS OVER ITS FINALLY OVER FUCKK YES FINALLY -NOOOOO LIVE ACTION ZELDA CONFIMRED WHYYYY - Actor strike is over =D - GTA 5 anounced - SHREK 5???? - Omegle shut downs for ever - Zack and Cody’s restaurant reservation is today - Dream and the voice actor of Gumball beefed and tbh it was hilarious - Russia declares LGBT groups extremists organizations - Henry Kissinger, american politician, dies at 100 - SONIC 3 DATE REVEAL YEAHHH

-Hbomber guy DESTROYS James Somerton and Internet Historian’s career with his new video on plagiarism - TODD IN THE SHADOWS COMES BACK WITH THE STEEL CHAIR IN JAMES SOMERTON!! - BG3 Game Awards Sweep including GOTY

[gracekiins]

Wait are you a law graduate actually? Im business law major myself who loves to draw lowk idk why but I always had this stupid assumption that students can’t have hobbies anymore 😭😭

hello anon,

hope you’re good and are having a fantastic time completing your degree!

i APOLOGISE for taking eons to answer this. if you’re still interested in my response, see below.

That’s right, I read Law in the UK and graduated a few years back. It’s been a while.

I think responsibility and having a hobby is good. I think it’s wonderful to be able to dedicate yourself to a good interest alongside a rigorous subject like Law (not to say other disciplines aren’t demanding, but in terms of general attitudes towards certain degrees, I’d say, anecdotally and objectively, this one’s up there). I always enjoyed how different law and drawing are.

Whenever I see a beautiful thing, I’m struck with admiration. That’s my heart speaking.

Not everyone might have the luxury of maintaining a hobby alongside commitments, but we do have 24 hours in a day, and you can do whatever you want in that time. That freedom of time comes with a lot of conundrums in itself. If I wanted to make room for something in my life, I usually had to trade in something else for it. Usually that’s time. I didn’t maintain the study-hobby streak per se quite so well as a student because I was working 25+ hours a week across two part-time jobs, and I also had other imminent responsibilities.

Cultivate your hobby. Make time for it. Involves a conscious effort, sure, but a lot of rewarding things do. I mean, what else are you going to do when you retire? Work? Haha. Hopefully you won’t study/work all your life. Especially if you want to retire early, you probably want to do something good and that you enjoy. The goal, I think, is to eventually have time to do the things you want to do if you didn’t have to work.

Do you mind if I leave this excerpt from C.S. Lewis's Learning in War-Time, with you? A paragraph which, in recalling, invokes in me a sense of awe, similar to what I mentioned earlier, and encompasses how I feel about having good interests whilst tying that with commitments:

“They wanted knowledge and beauty now, and would not wait for the suitable moment that never came… Men are different. They propound mathematical theorems in beleaguered cities, conduct metaphysical arguments in condemned cells, make jokes on the scaffold, discuss the last new poem while advancing to the walls of Quebec, and comb their hair at Thermopylae. This is not panache; it is our nature.”

Tangentially to the topic, but if you don’t mind entertaining just one more platitude from me, can I suggest some volunteer work? Not to add to your CV. But as a reminder that there’s a real life to the one inside the screen. Go to food banks. Remind yourself there’s more to life than studies/whatever consumes your time; there’s family, and people. So you don't end up viewing humanity in the abstract.

Maybe you got a little bit more than you bargained for with this Ask, but I hope my reply didn’t come across as overly lofty or ambitious. If you managed to read it all, nice, and if not, *insouciantly shrugs* (ha - jk!).

If something doesn’t make sense, feel free to reach out.

Stay frosty, and remember ���

Hope you have a good rest of the week.

Thanks,

[what-if-nct]

(cw // mentions of sh in case anyone is triggered)

hii it’s christmas where i live meaning it’s probably not christmas for you (unless you waited hours to finally reply back) but i just wanna say merry christmas and thank you for being there with me during my hard and mentally draining days. it’s so hard being on social media without bumping into negativity such as real life news, people debating about bare minimum things such as rights for body autonomy, gay rights, etc, and especially for my case, being shunned by a community of people i thought were friends simply for talking about jonghyun on my posts that solely rely on users to create posts in order for the app to work.

while i wish i don’t want to be super negative all the time, this was exactly how i felt this year. i felt violated, stripped from my pride and tormented — yet i’m expected to be happy all the time and put up a brave face all the time.

the truth is, i hated turning 18 because i couldn’t bare the responsibility of being considered an adult at the face of the law, when i had my childhood partially taken away from me. nobody was there during my mental breakdowns. just because it wasn’t 2022 anymore, doesn’t mean i didn’t face cyber bullying and faced targeted harassment simply for talking about my bias just like any other kpop fan, and people liked to downplay it by telling me to “keep it to myself.” i didn’t get to do my dream course at my new college due to my grade, and i felt so fucking shit because i’ve done everything in my willpower just to get the same score 3 years in a row, nobody took my mental breakdown seriously. i was sexually harassed and taken advantaged of by several men, because they did not respect my boundaries, used me as my drunken self, and tried to contact me via twitter acting like a kpop fan from london in the comments, when he was a 25 year old man who only saw me for my body. i was overwhelmed with the way the job centre was treating me and making me feel worse for simply asking a question to prevent email spams by sending me to a centre that could help me get to know the basics of using technology. i had a job, but got scammed for 2 weeks worth of work and i never got paid. i lost £500 which i rightfully worked my ass for, even almost passing out due to walking upstairs and having my feet ache over the constant standing for 8 hours for 3 days a week. i never got to go to france and meet my cousins. it’s sucks because i was planning this since summer and i’ll never be able to go since my parents took the only savings i had to go to africa for a month due to how expensive plane tickets are. i even got fucking pregnant and not to mention, my mum started to act weird around me… and just the way i was treated after turning into an adult… i don’t really wanna go there.

i know it has been a long year, but idk if it’s gonna change at all or if it’s gonna get worse. i just wanted to have a peace of mind for once. that’s literally my wish for 2024. i just want to be free, to have amazing friends, having a normal life, just like everyone else so i don’t have to always compare myself to people on snapchat who show off their day or shout out their friends for their birthdays. i wish i could get rid of my anxiety symptoms, because now notifications, messages (especially pending ones) and anything that shows a number next to an icon would get me really fucking nervous that it would be a harassing message. i just don’t want guys to take advantage of me, i just want a loyal and sweet first boyfriend/girlfriend that is genuinely there and physically as well as emotionally. i just feel like i’m missing out on life just because some stupid systemic ableism in the uk where i was forced to learn at home and be in a special needs class, which can explain why i’m socially awkward and don’t know how to be a normal friend.

basically saying… i just want to be happy. (i’m so sorry for the vent i didn’t expect it to be this long loooool)

Merry Christmas!! there's about 10 minutes till Christmas for me. I am so sorry that this past year has been so hard on you. And its horrible that you had to endure all of that I can't even imagine how hard it's been for you. You deserve so much better than what you've received. You deserve respect, care, love, understanding and you deserve happiness and it breaks my heart you've been treated like this by so many people. I just send you the biggest hug and I'm proud of you, I know life has been hard but I'm proud of you for continuing. And I can't promise when, but things will get better and one day before you know it you will have the happiness you want and deserve and I will always be here to listen and talk to you.

[mccarthymolly]

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[wellthatwasaletdown]

To me all that is a little strange because where I'm from lawsuits will get to you through the post but in the US the person who's job it is to serve you has to hand the envelope to you. //

i’m not 100% sure, but i think this is because people can claim that they never received the court documents if they’re sent through mail which would be an issue. with a process server, there’s a physical witness that can confirm or deny if someone is lying about having not received any papers.

on a second note, i thought about her being in the uk as a major issue in why it was so difficult to serve her. idk the laws but would it be possible for her to be served while she is out of the country the case was supposed to take place in? she was served as soon as she got to the usa, so i don’t think jason had i’ll intentions considering he was on a different continent and it’s the process servers in charge of serving. she was traveling between coachella and london so cinemacon serving must’ve been the easiest and there were hundreds of witnesses so it was a clean serving. idk why she would open the envelope onstage in the middle of a presentation instead of waiting until she was finished. i know for a fact it was her team that announced it was custody papers in the envelope because only her and jason would know what she was given. she probably did that to make herself the victim when she’s not the only person to be served in public or at work (people have been served at ongoing funerals, Ciara on stage during a concert, during business meetings at offices, etc,. she’s not special lol).

This was all discussed when it happened. A person can be served internationally if the claimant pays the cost of hacing it done. Olivia was dodging the process server.

[rosemarytales]

like

you kill him on the battlefield and that's almost fair. It was reasonable at the time and honourable and he knew it could happen. But.

your army hits him so violently, so many times, even after his death that 527 years later people look at him and can tell his brains were spilling out and that his helm was probably bashed into his head

if that's not enough, you strip him of all his clothes, put him on horseback and carry him around like a trophy, all while spearing him in the butt (signs still visible on his pelvis bone. 527 years later).

you expose his dead body (clothed? Idk) in the square of Leicester so everyone can make sure he's dead, then proceed not to give him a burial (some local friars had to tend to it, probably illegally because there were stories circulating about his body being thrown into the river. The friars couldn't even dig a proper hole so he spent 527 years with his head propped up. The friary and tomb were then forgotten and covered by a car park).

you go on to shit on his reputation, delete almost all documents pertaining to his reign, threaten historians into talking shit about him, possibly murder his two nephews, definitely murder the whole rest of his family (including his two children), and just make sure no one can say anything good about him for years. but yeah, sure, marry his niece so "the houses are reunited"

the Tudors were long gone by the time he was found again and given a proper burial (finally), but somehow they still found a way to ruin that, too. There is a law in the UK that says that any human remain that is discovered is reburied in the closest consecrated land: fair enough. The closest consecrated land was the Leicester cathedral: fair enough, it existed already and Richard might have even prayed there. But wait: they gave him an anglican service. Hm, who started the Anglican church? Oh. Right. The son of the man who had him brutally slaughtered and who shamed his body publicly. How could I forget. So even half a millennia after his death he was denied a Catholic burial, despite being a notoriously pious man (one of the few things we have left of him is a Book of Hours, annotated similarly to his mum by Richard himself) and instead gave him an anglican rite just to belittle him even further.

And to this day, for people to know who you're talking about, you have to say "the king who might have murdered his nephews" or "the one who has a Shakespeare play about how much he sucks".

sometimes I'll just think about how history and the tudors treated Richard III and my blood pressure will reach an all time high

[finelinevogue]

h and y/n are like cuddled on the sofa having deep convos and they’re like massaging eachother?? super duper fluffy please!!🌷🍰

okay for some reason this is both sad and fluffy, and idk how we got here

warnings: touches on sensitive topics in the current news

May 24th 2022

The BBC News was playing in the background and the clock struck 10 PM.

You and Harry were snuggled down deep on the couch, Harry spooning you from behind. One of his arms was helping keep his head up to peer over your body, whilst his other draped casually around your waist. You were both facing the TV, but neither of you were actually watching it.

Brixton ONO had finished a couple of hours before and you couldn’t be more proud of him and what he’s achieved. The rest of the band had gone out in London to celebrate, along with crew and some members of management, but Harry decided to come home with you instead.

He would always come home to you.

“The news is so sad at the moment.” You pointed out after watching the headlines.

“It’s because the world is so fucked up at the moment. It’s just, we don’t see it daily because we live on our little familiar bubble.”

“I just struggle to live every day freely when those people are suffering in Ukraine and there’s school shootings to innocent children. Then the cost of living crisis in the UK. It’s all just so fucked, H, and it makes me terrified to bring this one into the world.” You took his hand and rubbed it over your still flat belly.

You were only a few weeks into your pregnancy so there’d be no bump for a while. Harry couldn’t wait for it to start showing though. So much so he would make you wear the tightest top he could find and judge whether there was any difference in bump from the day before. You kept reminding him that it was just your extra belly pouch. He loved on it all the same though.

“I would hope that our love for this little one would be enough to keep them safe and healthy.” Harry answered, calming you down by kissing along your neck.

“You’re going to be such a good dad, H.”

“Yeah? And you’ll be an even better mum. In fact, y’already are. Keeping them all safe and warm.” Harry squeezed your belly a little tighter, as is he were giving the baby a hug.

“H, it’s a literally just a blob right now.” You laughed.

“A blob that I love.” He laughed back, kissing your cheek because he couldn’t quite reach your lips.

“Okay, off topic, but that reminds me. Have you seen all that shit with the abortion laws in America?” You felt Harry’s arm tighten around your stomach.

“Yeah. It makes me feel so sick that men in high powers think they can just take away womens rights, as if they’ve ever owned a uterus before.” Harry shook his head.

“And if we’re raped it still doesn’t constitute an excuse for an abortion? I mean what kind of sick and medieval law is that?” You exclaimed, feeling yourself get riled up over this issue.

You turned so you were now laying on your back instead of your front and turned your head to face Harry, who was looking at you with awe. His hand stayed placed on your stomach and your hands went and sat on-top of his.

“I know, baby. It’s fucked, I’m sorry.”

“Harry, it’s not you who should be apologising. I mean of course I, we, have a voice in this, but we shouldn’t be louder than the people who actually have been through these situations. Their stories need to be heard and they are the ones that deserve apologies.”

“You’re right. Do you know anything that we can do?” Harry asked, always wanting to be the first one to join the rally.

“Spread awareness on the media. Sign petitions and call up local offices. Voices need to be heard, so make everything as public as possible.” You explained and Harry nodded his head in agreement.

“I could donate to some women’s rights visitors too.”

“We both can.” You raised your hand to cup his cheek, because you wanted to remind him that it were a team and you’d face all of this together. “Sorry, by the way.”

Harry’s eyebrows furrowed and he slid his hand underneath your t-shirt so he could softly rub the skin there. “What for?”

“For you having to lay here and listen to me rant about sad issues, when you could be out with your friends celebrating your success.”

Harry chuckled, leaning down to kiss your lips softly. It had been ten minutes too long since you’d last tasted his lips and you couldn’t help but moan at how good he still tasted. He was so perfect and his plump lips fit perfectly between yours.

“You could never be sorry for that, baby, because I would rather be here, with you, than out there, with them. I celebrate my success by spending time with you and getting to be happy. Seeing that smile on your face is success enough.” He kissed your lips again and you let it last a little longer this time.

“You’re the best, ever.” You smiled up at him.

“And I thought that was you?”

[demisexualnathanvuornos]

RULES: It’s time to love yourselves! Choose your up to 10 favorite works you created in the past year (fics, art, edits, etc.) and link them below to reflect on the amazing things you brought into the world in 2020. Tag as many writers/artists/etc. as you want (fan or original) so we can spread the love and link each other to awesome works.

Got tagged by a couple of people/saw a mutual do it

Multitudes of (A)bsence / Monimuotoiset puutteet

https://archiveofourown.org/works/24717583/chapters/59745241

This is my one and only original work. It's a short poem with an English and Finnish versions, about being aroace, demigender and atheist.

I was inspired to write it when I was reading Jenna Clare's poetry book, she's ace and Finnish American, so I decided to get her book because I am also two of those things. It's a beautiful book but at one point it talked of god in a way that it really hit, all the things I'm lacking.

I Never Really Let You Go

https://archiveofourown.org/works/28260108

Just before Xmas, me and Grey-Haven (not on tumblr anymore) where talking about Lucas Bryant I guess and I lamented how impossible being able to watch Playing House (2006) has been. She, being in the UK, was able to purchase it on youtube and we watched it through some microsoft thing.

It was super funny and Lucas was absolutely perfect. So perfect that I wanted to write fic even after only one watch. I've since ordered both the book the movie was based on and a region free dvd from Australia, both of which I am still waiting for but should get them quite soon.

Also, this fic was more popular than I expected, I have lots of fics that struggle to reach 10 hits and this one has almost 40. Tagging the female lead maybe helped? Idk

Drabbles on Touch

I managed to write 9 chapters for Drabbles on Touch which I think is pretty good :

31. Dance (3x12 Reunion) (2020-03-30)

32. Fur (2020-08-14)

33. 1x8 PDA with Jess 1 (at the station) (2020-09-06)

34. 1x8 Almost sex with Jess (2020-11-02)

35. 1x8 PDA with Jess 2 (goodbye) (2020-09-07)

36. 1x8 Audrey's Cheek kiss (2020-09-12)

37. He Should Have Known (1x9) (2020-09-26)

38. Hands (1x9/1x10) (2020-11-01)

39. Accidental Touches (1x12 Resurfacing) (2020-10-04)

https://archiveofourown.org/works/11000235/chapters/24503604

It's Only Touch (All He Has Left)

I wrote an extra chapter for this that actually touches on a lot of the ideas I had about the fic but didn't end up including when I first wrote this.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/13596324/chapters/58917880

What a Waste of a Good Boner (4x7 AU)

Some fun little Nathan/Audrey smut fic I thought should exist.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/24738766?view_full_work=true

Next up are a couple of fun multi-chapter fics I'm delighted that I managed to write and finish within 2020:

East Haven Seadogs vs West Haven Cutters

https://archiveofourown.org/works/23750812/chapters/57042253

4 chapters of various stories about this silly little small town little league baseball rivalry. First Nathan pov in 2x4, then Audrey learns to appreciate baseball through Lexie and then James Wuornos' first game with his little sister in attendance and finally, I hit the 2020 pandemic, includes Nathan's childhood memories, including James Garrick and Duke.

Heir to the Herald

https://archiveofourown.org/works/22099819/chapters/52743043

I started 2020 by properly reading The Colorado Kid. I was really taken with Stephanie McCann and rereading the pilot script inspired me to write a combination of all 3. Post canon, someone needs to run the Herald and Stephanie is perfect for the job.

Christmas Party in July

https://archiveofourown.org/works/27899377/chapters/68318356

I know there were some prompts about this in July bcus Haven's 10 year anniversary but I wasn't inspired to read or write about this then. Because I don't even like this episode much. But rewatching it on its anniversary, I did find myself inspired to write about the aftermath of the party. Heavy still-one-sided Nathan/Audrey.

And then I thought about that calm bit in s5a and how that was probably in July. And the Paige is not as different from Audrey as one might think. It was fun to write these as almost advent thingies.

----

Moving on from fic, I absolutely loved Lucas' Country at Heart movie and especially the song, A Life in a Love, that he performs. I couldn't help but notice how well some lyrics with Haven, so I did graphic for all the lyrics. It's in many parts and I still think I might do Jennifer/Duke graphic for the last chorus, but that's not happening too soon. But I'm very happy with these and that I managed to do the Audrey pov before the year ended.

https://demisexualnathanvuornos.tumblr.com/tagged/a-life-in-a-love

Ever since it was established that Nathan was a Pet Shop Boy fan, I wanted to do a graphic about it. I even researched ages ago that in 1983/4 West End Girls would be the most likely song he had heard from them and it mentions 'Finland station', so it was perfect. But I then never really started to properly work on it and then I almost forgot it. Until I made those ALiaL graphic and I managed to finish these ones two. Needed to do it in two parts because it works better that way.

https://demisexualnathanvuornos.tumblr.com/tagged/pet-shop-boys

All in all, 2020 wasn't too bad a year for me, creatively. I could give special shoutouts to my Duke Sterling fic (now with a wip sequal), and fics for Lucas' two earlier Xmas movies, Merry In-Laws and A Very Merry Daughter of the Bride. Links available upon request or I might add them myself later.

[deadandphilgames]

Idk I think Phil would propose but they've been together so long they would probably talk about it first/Dan would have to hint at it which might take away some of the romance lol. Phil seems very go with the flow and neither of the Lester boys seemed rushed on that front- I think Martyn and Cornelia have been together for just as long as dnp (maybe?not sure). Also the whole 'an unhappy marriage is just a bit of paper' comment, which may be true but how Dan reacted makes me think he's more into the idea. Strange because Phil's the one who has my parents had a happy marriage vibes.

Of course I could be way off and Phil's had a ring he got last year in Japan hidden in his sock drawer and has just been waiting for Dan to finish his book before proposing, which is currently my preferred head canon lol.

as someone who has never been in a long term relationship, i dont think my view on proposal is the most experienced, but thats not gonna stop me from sharing it :) i dont think discussing marriage/proposals before the offical thing takes away from the romance, honestly i think its somewhat necessary since marriage is a big life choice to make, and you want to be on the same page. I think that the actual proposal itself should never come as a surprise, but the when and where can be. also idk phil/dans personal preference on marriage, perhaps they never want to (i think laws in the UK are similar for de facto couples and married couples so it wouldnt have a difference) 

i think phil would try to pull some grand romantic gesture and itd go wrong but that would just make it more endearing. As for Japan 2.0 ... i feel like if there has been a proposal, then it definitely would've happened then

[in-tua-deep]

Umbrella academy hogwarts au? I feel like 5 would be a slytherin. Would he be in a younger year than everyone else, kinda like in your pride and prejudice AU?

HMMM i think if i was ever to go for a real hogwarts au and not just gently dumping all the characters into the hp world for a laugh (they make it so easy with five’s mystery jump at the end of s1 lmao) then it would have to start from like. the very beginning and together. as Actual Kids.

(p&p au is a bit different bc it’s a no-powers-period-drama type au)

we’re not going to explain why hogwarts is getting some american kids bc i don’t have the brainpower rn to think of why. maybe reginald trained them in the US in this au and then moved them to the UK in the months preceding their debut for whatever reason which officially makes them a Hogwarts Problem now idk

lemme put this under a read more

so instead you have Five at like, ten-and-three-quarters years old. They’re scheduled to debut in front of the entire world very soon. Five has bruises on his skin and anger in his heart, even as young as he is.

(He’s not the worst off. Klaus has screaming nightmares and bags under his eyes so dark he looks like a raccoon. Ben hasn’t spoken a word in two weeks after his last special training session with their dad. Diego’s arm is in a cast where sparring with Luther went wrong a week or so ago.)

And Five is the curious child, the challenging child. He’s a constant buzz of need to know, have to know, have to move move move and part of that is knowing everything that’s going on in the house. With his power to jump, he knows all the good spying spots. He knows which rooms are above the others, knows which vents have sound that carry, knows the spots he can prop himself in and see but not be seen.

So when there’s someone knocking on the front door, Five sneaks into one such spot and looks - because no one knocks on their door, ever. Reginald’s door is never knocked upon by girl scouts or friendly neighbors or salesmen. It’s like, a rule. So he’s curious who it is, and he crouches down to watch and to listen.

Grace is the one who answers the door (Pogo tends to keep out of sight of guests, when he can) and offers the severe looking woman a dazzling smile. Five thinks she’ll be turned away, but Grace nods and gestures her inside and tells her to wait right there as she fetches Mr. Hargreeves - 

His dad comes, looking just as severe as the woman does and twice as intimidating. And then the woman opens her mouth to speak and - 

Magic?

Them?

A boarding school?

And Five doesn’t really think they’re magic. Yeah, unexplained things happen around them all the time (Klaus’s lightbulbs were constantly being replaced when he bolted out of a nightmare screaming and they blew or shattered or whatever) but that’s just part of their powers, right?

But a boarding school. That’s promising. Even if they aren’t magic or whatever, even if this school is for insane people - anything is better than here. And it’s not foster care, right? If it’s a school then there’s no issue of them being split up, being torn apart. They’re a family, and Five has been trying desperately to think of a plan to get them out since he was seven-and-a-half

Of course, Reginald says no. Denies everything. Refuses to acknowledge the woman and sends her out.

And Five has about three seconds for his quicksilver mind to run back over the conversation, to pick up on the woman’s bristling and comments about control and community and you can’t hide magic forever and -

Five jumps, in a flash of blue, and pops out in front of the woman outside. She startles with wide eyes. “What on earth - ”

“What happens if a magical child wants to attend but their non-magical guardians do not.” Five asks the woman, hands clenched into fists by his sides.

The woman stares at him for a long time, “It would depend on the circumstances - ”

That’s a bullshit answer if Five’s ever heard one, and he cuts her off. “If a magical child needs to be trained, could they achieve that going around a guardian? What are the laws concerning education?”

The woman looks over her shoulder, back towards the manor. She looks bemused that this tiny slip of a child is confronting her like this outside of the knowledge of his parents.

Five grits his teeth, because this is a low risk high reward situation. If the woman leaves - whatever, no skin off his back or however that saying goes. If she can get them out and going to this fancy boarding school so that they’re only within Reginald’s sphere of influence during the break times - well. 

Five has a hunch, and plays it without mercy.

“He’s not our biological father. He bought us. We have - we do things no else can do. Magic? He wants us to be superheroes. He’s got something planned, to show us off to the whole world. Us and our powers.”

If the woman’s face had gotten tight at the beginning of Five’s words, it’s aghast at the end of it. So Five is correct - if magic was real, then Five should have already heard about it. If it is and he hasn’t, that means that the magic people are exceptionally good at keeping secrets. 

Which means Reginald and his planned publicity works in Five’s favor. 

“I’ll see what can be done.” The woman says grimly.

But there’s something Five needs confirmation of, because it’s important. “If one of us goes, we all go.” He tells the woman, feet planted shoulder width apart and hands curled into fists with the thumbs on the outside. Ready for a fight. “We stay together.”

(Vanya doesn’t have powers, like the rest of them. But Five will be damned before he leaves her behind in this house by herself, not when Reginald hardly cares if she lives or dies.)

The woman blinks, waves her hand like that was never the problem. “There are seven children at this address, yes? If that’s all of you, you all have places at Hogwarts.”

Five, who was geared up to defend his position and smuggle Vanya with him in a suitcase if necessary, melts back. “There are seven of us.” Five says, cautious and careful, “But - yes. There are seven of us.”

(He almost tells her that Vanya isn’t magic, but if they think she is then he’s not going to try and persuade them otherwise. He’ll figure something out for later, when they realize she’s ordinary. He’ll find a way to fake magical powers for her or something.)

“I’ll be back.” The woman tells him, looking serious. Then she raises a stick in the air (what?) and something happens and she just - warps in place and vanishes. It makes Five jump back, startled.

What was that? That wasn’t - that wasn’t jumping. Not the way he does it. But - she vanished? There’s no blue light but it looks so much like what he does that he can’t help but doubt. Are there variations of his power? Are there lots of people who can jump?

Suddenly this whole ‘magic school’ thing is looking more like something exciting to look forward to instead of just a convenient escape route.

Five hovers for a few seconds, before jumping himself. It wouldn’t do to be found lurking outside of the manor when he isn’t supposed to be permitted outside at all, after all. 

He waits with baited breath until a week later he wakes up to yelling and scrambles for the door. He can see his other siblings coming out as well in the pajamas, all of them exchanging looks and agreeing as one to creep quietly to figure out what’s going on.

What’s going on isn’t quiet at all. There’s a dozen men and women downstairs, including the woman that Five spoke to the week before. They all looks very official, and they all have sticks like the woman did. Does. 

Reginald looks furious.

They’re all crouched in Five’s spot, the good one where if you stay still no one would notice you between the banisters but you get an unobstructed view. The key is if you stay still. One of them moves, or makes a noise, or whatever and one of the people’s eyes snap up to look directly at them.

They all freeze.

“You might as well come down here, children.” One woman says, looking distinctly unimpressed. “This involves you, after all.”

They look to Reginald, but he says nothing. He doesn’t even look at them at all, though they can see the muscle in his jaw tightening. 

The travel carefully down the stairs, single file, in order. Klaus and Ben hold hands as they go down, and Five looks back frequently to make sure that everyone is present, including Vanya. 

“I’m afraid,” The woman from the week before speaks up in her Scottish brogue, “That is has come to our attention that… your guardian can no longer provide you with the necessary education you require by law.”

She keeps going, explaining to them about magic. Five can see Vanya at the end of their little like, getting more and more pale by the second. Five heard most of this speech the day before, so it’s easy for him to duck out of their little line and bump Klaus and Ben over so that he can stand by her side.

He takes her hand in his, not caring about how Luther and Allison are shooting him looks. He squeezes tightly and, after a second, she squeezes back.

They’re in language classes with Grace together, so it’s easy to him to tap against her hand.

n-o g-o w-o u

Not going without you. Vanya is still pale, but she squeezes Five’s hand and stops looking like she’s going to pass out on the floor. 

“As such,” The woman is continuing, “You will be attending Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. You will be staying with me until the start of the term, during which time we will sort out permanent living arrangements.”

“We’re not coming back?” Luther demands loudly, looking frightened. Five would almost feel bad if he didn’t remember the fact that Luther was still recovering from a concussion from private training that he still would talk about. “But - what about dad?”

“Your father is not equipped to deal with magical children.” The woman tells them, actually quite diplomatically. Five can read between the lines though to where she’s actually saying this man is an abusive fuck who shouldn’t have been permitted to care for a cactus let alone seven entire human beings.

“We stay together?” Five pipes up, staring holes into the strangers in his house. “No matter what, we stay together, right?”

The woman inclines her head, “We will do our utmost to ensure it, Mr. - ”

She pauses for him to fill in his name, and he can feel the panicked look Luther is shooting him. He’s the worst one to ask for his name, because he gave up his chance for a name so Vanya could have one.

Luther is shaking his head, trying to get Five’s attention to signal him to not answer, but Five lifts his chin up high. He is not ashamed as he puts the final nail in Reginald’s coffin.

“Number Five. I’m Number Five.”

The expressions on every adults face are priceless and drive home just how not ordinary that is. Just how terrible it is to have a number instead of a name. Five doesn’t understand it - he likes his name, thank you - but that doesn’t mean he’s not willing to use it as a weapon to put another knife in Reginald’s back.

And that’s how, against some of their protests (mainly Luther, who protests leaving Reginald, and Diego, who protests leaving Grace) all of the kids end up in the house of “Professor McGonagall” who at this point is just. resigned to these kids being weird as fuck

(to be valid she first met Five apparently apparating with a) 0 training and b) without even a wand what the fuck)

They’re all just. Really confused? They all report for breakfast bright and early and McGonagall hasn’t even had her morning coffee yet and she’s just kind of like “yeah you kids do whatever, settle in and all that. we’ll go to diagon alley and pick up school supplies and all that later”

and it is bizarre. The kids stick close to one another, watch all the weird magic shit going down with careful eyes, and then they get their wands. Five almost has a fit because what if they find out Vanya isn’t magical and he’s about two seconds away from using his own shiny new wand (that had let out a bright blue light reminiscent of the one that came with his powers) when Vanya picks one up and waves it and manages to blast through three shelves.

The wand maker looks absolutely delighted at this destruction of the shop and all of them gape at Vanya because they were not expecting her to be magical. And clearly Vanya wasn’t expecting to be magical either, because she’s pale and shocked as the wand maker plucks the destructive wand from her hand and pops another one in.

All seven of them walk out with their brand new wands, and Vanya and Five hold hands tightly. Half in relief and half in alarm.

When they talk later, hushed whispers camped out in freshly transfigured beds, they come to the conclusion that some witches and wizards just need the stick to do things and that the rest of the Umbrella Academy is kind of weird. (McGonagall lectured Five at length about apparating and not doing it while he made various faces)

The kids survive until term starts and Professor McGonagall takes the to a train station and drops them off and tells them that she’ll see them at the school. They take up an entire compartment by themselves and talk at length about what magic school is going to be like.

Luther is still withdrawn and sullen over being taken away from Reginald, Diego is still sad about Grace, Allison has her head held high and is determined to make a good impression and finally meet some new people outside of her siblings, and Klaus is loud but in the way that means he’s anxious, Ben is speaking again but is still far too quiet, Five has read all of their schoolbooks already and is practically vibrating in place with the need to know everything and Vanya - 

Vanya is off her meds. She didn’t want Professor McGonagall to decide she was broken or not good enough or anything because she was on anxiety medication. Any mishaps within the McGonagall house have so far been chalked up to accidental magic (and some of it actually had been). This is important for later.

They change into their robes (just another uniform) and disembark and get to Hogwarts and stand in the Great Hall and listen to the Sorting Hat sing and then - it’s their turn to be sorted.

Luther is all Gryffindor bullheaded stubbornness and an insistence on what he thinks is right, proud and strong. Allison is Slytherin ambition and drive to her bones, clawing her way to the top and making sure she will stay there. Diego is Gryffindor impatience and need to prove himself, doing what is right even if it is outside the law. Klaus is Slytherin cunning and resourcefulness, sneaking out and getting what he needed under the nose of a tyrant (though since leaving the house, drugs have been noticeably absent from his possessions). Ben is Ravenclaw knowledge and hiding behind books, quiet words and hungry eyes. Vanya is Ravenclaw hard work and well gained knowledge, passion for her difficult art and determination to be good at something.

Five gets up there, and the Sorting Hat hums. 

Five is made of loyalty that could weather an apocalypse. He is a boy who had a power perfect for running away and keeping away, but who stayed because he couldn’t bear to leave his siblings. Five is a child who, every time he got knocked down, he got back up again. Five is a child who has hard work pressed into the marrow of his bones, who never gives up and never gives in.

Five is driven by knowledge and a need to know. His hunger consumes him, always pushing at boundaries that perhaps would be safer for his health to leave untouched. Always testing and twisting and seeking more. He is bright and smart and one of his very first words was why. 

Five is cunning and careful, twisting words and bending rules and scraping everything he can from a bad situation. He is the boy who had a split second to think, who jumped outside and confronted a stranger and went off of a hunch and won it all. The boy who had so few resources to work with, but twisted and pulled at them until they were enough. If getting his entire family out of Reginald’s house intact was not the very definition of ambitious, then nothing is.

Hufflepuff. Ravenclaw. Slytherin.

Choose your own adventure, choose your fighter.

Five would probably prefer Ravenclaw, in a house with two of his favorite siblings. Perhaps he would choose Slytherin, because Klaus is fragile and he doubts Allison will protect him and Five has always been protective of his family. 

(Klaus is stronger than the family thinks, away from the mausoleum and the memories. He’ll have Slytherin house wrapped around his finger before they know what hit them, will eventually fall in love with a Hufflepuff transfer student named Dave, will eventually be happy.)

Maybe Five is alone in Hufflepuff, a house too kind and too soft for the sort of jagged edges he has. But maybe that’s what he needs. Maybe he doesn’t need a house to sharpen his claws against, to sharpen his words or his mind. Maybe he needs somewhere safe, where people take his hand and show him how to tickle the pear to get into the kitchens and teach him how to play exploding snap and who look the other way when he sneaks out to visit his siblings at night.

(Whatever they can do outside of their wand waving, they discover, it isn’t magic. Or at least, not what the magical world seems to consider magic. They figure this out because apparently Hogwarts is warded against apparating within the grounds.

This doesn’t seem to stop Five.)

There’s so much that needs to be done. The wizarding world is still rebuilding. It’s 2000, scarcely three years after everything went down. 

Vanya’s “magic” seems to act up and no one can figure out why (even the family doesn’t realize it’s because she has non-magical powers like the rest of them. how could they? their entire lives Vanya had been ordinary.)

(when the revelation comes, Allison remembers her orders, remembers a small quiet room she was brought and told to say terrible things. They all weather the storm of Vanya’s fury together, magical shield summoned in a technique probably too advanced for their age but Ben is a natural until they finally managed to stun her. 

later, they all sit together in the hufflepuff common room, curled up on the sofas with mugs of hot chocolate stolen from the kitchens, regardless of if any of them are even in the house. at the very least Five has a talent for wriggling his way into areas he isn’t supposed to be in. they drink the hot chocolate, and contemplate their lives living with a man who would order something like that. 

they are grateful, even luther, of the turn their lives had taken. it would have been so very easy for McGonagall to walk away, to trust that they would be homeschooled or sent abroad or whatever. they are free, and they are thankful)

there is, of course, still the issue of what to do with the seven magical children once their first year comes to an end. they could stay with professor mcgonagall again, perhaps. despite being generally no nonsense, she’s always had a soft spot for the troublemakers (and the Hargreeves, despite best efforts, fall soundly into that category)

maybe they end up staying with some empty nesters. Molly and Arthur Weasely have no children left staying at home since Ginny moved out, and they’re used to dealing with large numbers of magical children. Diego would thrive under Mrs. Weasley’s attention even as he would feel guilty for loving anyone but Grace. 

maybe McGonagall calls in a favor, maybe she contacts her old students. She knows a boy who was an orphan himself, who knows what it means to be too skinny and too wary and to not want to go home at the summers. An orphan boy with wealth enough to take care of seven orphans with no problems, who would be glad to take on several wards if it was a favor to his old professor. 

(Harry Potter is only 20, but the war aged him. Aged all of his generation, really. There are lots of orphans in the wizarding world, and he is one of them.)

or maybe their arrangements are something else entirely.

The important thing though, is that despite everything they stay together. They might not have the Academy anymore, they might not belong to Reginald, but they are family and they stick by one another.

They protect one another, through means both magical and not.

(If you think Diego is giving up his knives, you are very incorrect about that.)

[carolinemckay]

✦ MEGAN FOX, CIS WOMAN, SHE/HER ✦ CAROLINE MCKAY the THIRTY-FOUR year old has been in Manchester for TWELVE YEARS. The LAWYER is said to be WITTY but also SHORT-TEMPERED but I guess we’ll find out for ourselves.

general

full name: caroline amelia mckay

age: thirty-four

date of birth: april 9th, 1986

hometown: london, uk

sexuality: heterosexual

current residence: manchester, uk

appearance

hair color: dark-brown

eye color: blue

height: 5'7”

biography

caroline mckay was beautiful. that’s what people had said about the woman her entire life. that she was beautiful, never that she was intelligent or kind or gracious, but that she was beautiful.

born to an upper middle class family, her mother the doting housewife to her father, a financial broker, the earliest memories caroline has of her childhood are in dressing rooms, her mother spraying her down with far too much hairspray, and the bright flashes of spotlights a queue to smile wider. she’d done pageants for as long as she knew, some days it felt like all she knew. but caroline had always been so much more than that.

throughout her childhood and teen years, she was rung throughout the competitive pageant circuit, everyone assuming it had been what she wanted to do. and maybe it had been, for a short time, but in between dress fittings and rehearsals, caroline had her head in the books, a surprise to anyone who saw it.

but having a practical job hadn’t been in the cards for care, who was homeschooled until she graduated, pageants becoming her full time job. she remembered arguing with her parents in her early teens, as silly as it was, that she wanted to be something beyond just beautiful. they turned their nose at it, acting as if caroline had purposely wasted all their money that had been put into her ‘future.’ she hadn’t wanted to hurt her parents, so she stuck around, smiling for the judges and telling everyone what they wanted to hear. she’d gotten awful good at that too, reading people, knowing just what they wanted her to say. it became a second nature to her, even if it wasn’t quite the same as lying. perhaps the only time she felt herself telling the truth was when she was on stage, ironic as it is. 

at age 21, it finally happened. it had been what everyone was waiting for, caroline had been crowned miss england, chosen to go onto compete in the miss world competition. everyone in her life was ecstatic for her, everyone except her, of course. maybe it was the reality that had set in, the reality that if she went on, this would become her life. she’d remain a pageant girl, known for that and nothing else. but there were no good words to say, no words that would explain that caroline wanted out, while keeping everyone else happy. 

caroline couldn’t have been more relieved to lose the miss world competition. even if she had placed in the top 15, there was something about the event, seeing the tears stream down her mother’s eyes that gave her the guts to tell her that she was leaving it all behind, london included.

when caroline returned home following the show, she packed her bags and moved to manchester, enrolling herself into university, going on to later get her law degree, using the money she’d earned from placing. naturally, she got a few looks here and there, but caroline was more than determined to show that she was far more than just a pretty girl

headcanons

very headstrong, does not like to be told what to do. hates compliments about her appearance, despite being programmed to always look nice. 

has an older brother!! he plays for manchester united, though the two have never been very close considering how busy caroline was growing up ( wanted connection )

definitely has a weird relationship with her parents. they get along, but under the surface you can tell that there’s a lot of tension and caroline has a bit of resentment towards them for dictating her life for so long

definition of the “smart than she looks” trope. always has to be right. always has to win. 

kind of at the point of her life where she wants a family, but at the same time there’s so much built up childhood trauma she never dealt with <3 so she got some dogs instead but anyways

is nice, like don’t get me wrong, but has a lot of walls up. caroline unintentionally just has to be perfect at all times because that’s literally all she knows how to be. so sometimes she comes off as??? idk??? detached?? she doesn’t mean it though i promise dkfghdfk

as for wanted connections, caroline is brand new now so i’m open to literally anything

[renaer-is-allegedly-hot]

actual session 8 notes

• I made a mistake

○ Mistake as in I came in late oops

• Anyways

• They're talking abt hair

• For sneak attack you roll 2d6 just a friendly reminder to yourself

○ oH IT TELLS U IN DNDBEYOND HOW MUCH FOR SNEAK ATTACK OKAY

• Now they're talking abt pranking ppl in the rides

• Now they're talking abt disneyland problems

• Now they're talking abt rollercoasters

• Jacob's fish ate each other

• Ok dnd time

○ "no worries" re: me being late s u r e ok nvm it's not depression time

• Passive perception checks and then we do smth idk

• Last session(s)

○ Downtime and then breakfast was bombed

○ Found out the attack was deliberate

○ Went to the one fancy villa house and got into a few fights

○ A nimblewright ?? Was responsible for the attack ig

○ We dipped and it's rainy

• The city is engulfed in thiccccc fog

○ Walking back to mirt's house

§ Lillian got prankt

• Lillian's sister has a guinea pig

○ Its name is buttercup

○ "buttercup dumpy tho" - jacob, 2020

• We're talking abt china's laws wrt eating dogs

• We're in the fog going to mirt's

○ Mirt's house is in sea ward, we're in north ward (a ward away)

○ If we just walk it's a half mile away

○ But there r streets so like a mile walk

○ Visibility is bad bc spring fog

○ Disadvantage on perception checks, visibility reduced to 30 ft

○ We're walking we get there

• Cel knocks

○ No one answers the door

○ Adam is making an investigation check

§ Does a short tour of the front, nothing out of the ordinary

§ Door is locked

§ Looking into the house there's an occasional candle burning by itself

□ Adam uses thaumaturgy to rapidly change the color of the lights inside to see if he can get anyone's attention

® Lights change color, nothing happens

§ Maybe we'll break in but cel will try the pebble on a window thing first

□ Throws, door opens and floon lets us in

□ Mans just got up

® We're a lil wet

□ It's abt 5am

• Short rest? There's no medium rest

○ I want cake I might make cupcakes after this bc I need cake sugar

§ I'll make cake after this and watch criminal minds bc it had me scream

○ We're taking shifts for keeping watch sleeping in mirt's living room w windows facing out onto the street

○ We're taking a long rest

• When cel is on watch she's just watching the door and windows

• Eventually renaer and floon get up n operate on a normal schedule

• Cut straight to wake up

○ Once we're all up it's raining

○ Hi jacob's dad isn't his name frederic ? Oh god I could b v wrong but I'm p sure bc when marguerite named the squirrel someone was like it's jacob's dad

§ "usually what I say should be cut off" - frederic, 2020

§ Aw bye jacob's dad

§ Jacob sounds exactly like his dad

□ Tb to the one time we were playing split the room on jackbox w my cousins and my dad and the choice was trading ur average newborn for an uber smart one or not and all of the cousins and myself said don't trade and mY DAD SAID TRADE

• It's pouring

• Mirt doesn't seem to b here but we can talk to renaer and floon

○ Gonna talk to them abt the mansion n ppl / things at the mansion

○ Oh a nimblewright is the one thing

§ Oops I accidentally googled it and turns out they're employed as bodyguards / assassins / spies

○ "renAer . Do u recognize this symbol"

§ He is indeed familiar w the crest

§ "well to me this looks like the house of grahlund (idk) ?? Or smth"

§ The houses of waterdeep

§ We're suss abt the book

□ We don't see any other black pages tho

§ Adam says the gnome was unfortunately barbecued

□ "trying to deliver the stone of galore" to us probs

□ Y would he deliver it to us

□ "bc mirt is relatively well known ,, this house is probs well watched"

□ The stone of galore v sought after by noble families apparenTly

□ The house ppl r embezzling that's y they want the rock

□ Had their robot blast our door for it

□ But now city watch probably has it

□ Theo remembers the one elven lady having seen someone run off

□ The zents want it, the nobles want it, the citywatch want it

○ So is the plan to go find a zent ??? Or what we'd learn if we went to the robot's location

§ I don't remember any frickin robot I'm just trying to pick up on context clues

§ Oh right grinda in mistshore ? 

§ We're gonna go find grinda

□ It's like around 4 in the afternoon

□ Sun not shining too brightly

□ Renaer not coming

® Ur leaving groot w renaer this time

□ Neither is floon, mirt mentioned he had to go do some business elsewhere

® Adam is currently suspicious of mirt

□ We need a ride

® We all dish out 3 copper for a taxi

® Dom dabbed and no one cares

○ Can u drop a message to the guy ?? Somehow ?? Somewhere ?? Just like ,, keep him in the loop ???? Ur confused

• Ok we pay

○ Adam is playing the uke

§ We're in the cab 

§ Imagine it's raining aggressively

§ A dwarf guild member picks us up

§ Ugh I want cake

§ Could I bake while playing hm

§ Cab driver has a rigging of sorts set up

§ I have to pee too

§ Any interesting looking ppl in the cab w us ?

○ A gnome w a fedora looking p drenched, dragonborn woman half sleeping kinda elderly, human man

§ Adam slaps the gnome, you stare at the gnome, gnome looks at adam and adam runs an insight check adam rolls 23, gnome tries to look surprised but looks like he's overacting

§ "there's not a lot of big ideas here"

§ "well that's obvious enough"

§ Gnome picks up on stare

§ You get the paper you flip it, you roll for insight gets 22

□ Takes the bait, looks at the paper; eventually human gets off

□ We're getting close to outskirts of dock ward, road is mud

□ At some point the gnome tries to start conversation

□ "say what's that you've got there"

□ "well I only saw him at the carnival that shows up every fall"

® Common in the autumn but not nowadays

® Would have to wait another summer

□ "are you a nimblewright fanatic sir"

® "all I'm saying is I like springtime rain as much as the next guy but when the wind season comes in it's kinda unusual"

® Gnome's name is elbridge

◊ Adam rolls for insight

} 25

} Looks like he's used to saying that name but it might not be his name

® "say I have some business to attend to so driver u can keep the tip just don't tell the guild" dwarf nods and slows the horses down, gnome gets off and dips

• Adam wants him to blow a nose

• "did he leave any little hairs" - marguerite, 2020

○ Cab driver shouts and says no stabbing on the cart

• We're in the dock ward, cart stops and dwarf leans over and makes us get out

○ Shakes his head and says we shouldn't go to mistborne

○ "is there any instruction you can give us for how to 'get there get there' because you're not 'taking us taking us'" - adam, 2020

• Aerana's leading

○ Dom sends a map

○ We're not standing on the muddy running water streets but on wooden planking

○ You have your dagger at hand

○ Beached ships but ppl living inside them probably

○ U can see there r some ppl peeking out of various doorways + shifty characters milling abt

○ Cel and adam r holding hands

○ Adam is sweating a lot but cel still holds it

○ At some point a dragonborn that looks like a sailor or smth w lots of battlewounds n tattoos looks p savage w dull brown color to scales, stands in front of u without saying anything

○ Ur like a lil shorter than humans and dragonborn r much taller

§ "I have business in mistborne what are you doing in my way"

§ Not so many city types

§ Adam mumbles smth under his breath

□ Asks adam what kind of business

□ "we're looking for grinda"

® Tries to appear jovial

® Says ah yes she lives here

® Dragon therapy

◊ He takes and puts to temple 

◊ U pay him 3 gold

◊ Grinda garloff

} Strange woman w a shed at the end of the dock

} Take a left here and follow the sounds of the waves

} Throws out a fourth

– Has many visitors w strange visitors

◊ Cel says she likes his tattoos

} "yes these r when I was sailing around the isle of chault"

• We follow his directions and eventually get to d1, we see ppl trying to set a fire

○ Walk down the dock towards d2, door to north of d2 has small assemblage of ppl

○ Can see up to 60 ft away some odd looking ppl

§ Four thugs bearing weapons; three humans w a dwarf barking instructions, attempting to break down the door to d2

§ Might b grinda's house but we really don't know

§ Adam spruces up the one fire of the dock workers

□ Cel lets go of adam's hand

□ They don't notice adam did it

• Adam tries to hear what the dwarf is saying bc it's rainy and doesn't hear anything

○ Lots of shifty ppl around

○ Some of them r watching the scene and also us

○ We approach the audience

§ Adam nudges the friendliest looking person

§ We all go up onto the elevated ship

§ Immediately ppl look at us suss

□ Confrontational almost and eventually a half-elf woman asks us if we're here to watch them string up grinda

® Cel makes persuasion check

® Isn't there another door ?

® Adam goes to cushiest looking person and asks y they're after grinda

◊ Old grizzled halfling answers adam and says grinda took smth she wasn't supposed to have

◊ "we're here to make sure that grinda doesn't escape unharmed"

◊ "we're pretty tough as well" adam says

◊ More ppl come over closer to us

◊ Adam asking how much it would be to outbuy

◊ "that depends on how much you're asking oh wrinkly one"

◊ Halfling confers w fellows

◊ Halfling appears to be a ringleader

} Says 15 dragons

– 19 for insight

w Confident guy, lived a tough life

w Ppl put their trust in him

w Halfling says 15 is bargain price

w Unsuccessful try to push the price down you all cough up 3 dragons

– They start distributing dragons

w Not used to containing excitement

○ After distributing money asks if we have a bone to pick with the xants

§ Adam's gonna play them a song and plays it so hard it casts shatter on the dock the thugs are standing on

□ Constitution saving throws for everything

® Two of the bandits and the dwarf fail their saving throws, other two succeed

® Tl;dr the dock - two of them r shocked so hard they're either dead or unconscious

® Dwarf Is particularly affected

® Dock they're standing on collapses

® Door blasted off inwards

◊ "that's a little trick I learned at bard school"

◊ Ppl on the boat have moved away

® Humans and dwarves screaming

◊ 3 left

} We're not killing them just going into the house

} Go to the side entrance

– V small room w all bare necessary fixtures

– Strange safes n intricate bolted locks

– Hanging talismans from the roof

– Nvm went too fast

w Aerana jumps and runs into a wall but you run into a cabinet

w 3 damage

w Human woman looks unconscious

w Adam casts healing word

w Resuscitates her

w Has mismatched eyes, one yellow other dark green

w V gray hair

w Doesn't look particularly old just has gray hair

w Startles when she wakes up trying to assess our intentions

w Adam tries to convince her the thugs outside tried to blow up her door

w 18 for deception

w Lie works

w "who are you people?"

® Theo asks if she knows anything abt this *pulls out paper*

◊ Affirms we're not w the xants

◊ "I appreciate what you did my name's grinda"

◊ Doesn't look used to talking to this many ppl at once

◊ Stands up and busies herself w putting the room back in order

◊ Looks like she had been barricading the door w stuff before everything was knocked over

◊ "you're telling me you just happened across this place and drove off some xants for some odd purpose"

◊ "actually we were looking for you" - theo

◊ Were told she might have smth to do w the paper

◊ "all the homies hate xanathar" - adam, 2020

} "I've had my dealings w the xanathar before…" admits she was in over her head

} Looking at the paper "so this nimblewright was instructed to drop off an artifact I was supposed to hold for the xanathars

} She got greedy bc she's a treasure-seeker

} The artifact is worth a lot

} "it's just what we do lady" - adam, 2020

} Adam is gonna charm her

– Adam tries to flex "what exactly what was the dangerous item that put a poor, poor, well-facially featured woman like you in danger" what is this jacob

w 17 persuasion

– Her expression changes a little

– It's the stone

w "I was attempting to attune with it but I was unable to in time"

w She put it in a hide hole

w Adam offers to trade hidey-hole locations

w She has a rat familiar and instructed it to take the stone to the city of the dead

w "can you tell the rat to bring it back"

• The city of the dead: mass cemetery where ppl of waterdeep bury their dead within city limits

○ Almost like its own ward

○ In the garlock? Garlof? family mausoleum

○ Adam gets her to pull out some of the items she's collected; some resistance

§ She comes back w a brass ring

□ Once one is attuned to it you are rendered invisible

□ "hold on to that for me hun and I'll come back"

○ Aerana is aware there are guards posted at night but it's a vast open space

• To the cemetery we will go

• Summary

○ Successfully dispatched the thugs

○ Gradually learning more abt the alleged horde of dragons

[mars-the-4th-planet]

Jukebox gets drafted into the longest, bloodiest, most desperate war in American history.

Isaac Munger from the Isaac Munger show network and Ko™ were back from the library. "Trolli! You would not believe what happened!"

Trolli the troll wiped his cheeto hands off on Kos shirt and got up. "Oh, did you see your letter? Sorry, I made it a little orange." He said.

"Trolli, no I just washed her shirt... And no thats not it at all... What is that?"

He opened the letter while Ko chased Trolli around trying to slap him for dirtying her shirt again. "Huh... A letter of draft? But why- oh right, I am 18 now... Darn... But what war?"

The War on Christmas

"this has to be a joke." He said. But it did seem to have official documentation and was signed by General Eisenhower III of the Californian State Militia Enterprise.

"I guess we will have to go down to the military base down the road in a few minutes. Ko, are you coming?"

Ko sat down, tired if trying to catch the weasely Trolli. "Why would I come? I didnt get drafted. Im a girl, box idk if you NOTICED. I guess anime girls can get drafted but I am clearly 3D. Go ask Sakura if she got a letter."

"Sakura? Trolli?"

"No Master."

"Nah br0 I marked myself down as a girl too. What are they gonna do, check? Hahaha. By claiming I am a girl they think im trans and trans people are banned from the military so I cannot get drafted!"

"No Master."

"Dammit, thats how the law works... Wait. I thought I only had one person in this house who called me Master. Which is frankly one too many."

Eji slithered down the stairwell and snuggled up to the box.

"Are you drafted too Eji?"

"No, I am a resident of the UK here on a servitude visa. I cannot get drafted or join the military."

"A servitude visa... Oh my god..." Isaac face-palmed. "Eji you are making this weird."

Eji just grinned. "Where are you going master?"

"Oh I got drafted into the war on Christmas..." Isaac said glumly.

The grin disappeared. "No!! Tell them it was a mistake!"

"Sorry Eji, the Californian State makes no mistakes. You know this."

"Noooooooooo!" Eji cried out clutching Isaac's leg. "I cannot lose you!"

"Ko tell him he is being ridiculous. Ko?"

Ko was clutching Isaac's other leg.

Jukebox sighed. "Fine. I will kiss you goodbye first."

"Yay!"

"Not you Eji."

"Aww..."

After kissing his business partner and girlfriend, both of which were the same person, he headed out in his father's military uniform and a sack on a stick full of his belongings. He had a picture of Ko in his pocket as well.

-Later that day-

Isaac was lined up with two dozen other boys in military uniforms. They had varying degrees of clearly not wanting to be there, except one named Todd Ichabod who seemed gleeful.

The Sergeant was an elderly woman named Callispo Marximillian. She was wielding a cane made of untreated iron and it clanked when she walked around the cement floor. The lights overhead were hot and buzzed with unfeeling anger. One flickered with each clank of the cane.

"Listen up butter boys. We have seen way too many Happy Holiday cups in this blessed state. Liberals spreading their anti-christmas nonsense are everywhere, but they are strongest here in California. We must take back the holiday season no matter the cost, for the dignity of the West! We will bring back the spirit of Christmas stronger than ever before!"

"While I like Christmas myself ma'am, is a military operation really necessary? I mean, we arent being forced to not celebrate Christmas they are just trying to be inclusive by saying happy holidays..." Isaac pointed out, a bit nervous.

"Shut the fuck up private munger. All of you, I will not tolerate this kind of behavior. Now here is the protocol: Tomorrow we will go to Starbucks after Starbucks, and store after store, and spread Christmas cheer all across the town. Say merry Christmas to all of em and make em say it back. Got it?"

"Yes ma'am!" they all said in unison.

"It is actually SIR, boys. I am a woman, but all Sergeants are to be called Sir. I am not your mother, I am not your teacher, or your wife. I am your military commander and you will address me appropriately. Got it?"

"Yes sir!" they all said in unison.

Callispo had one last thing to say "Now remember, if any of em give you trouble you are permitted to use aggressive force. You have belts on, and if that fails you may put em in a headlock till the say Merry Christmas with a smile!" She grinned.

"But Sir... Wouldnt a headlock put pressure on their throat? Which makes it difficult for people to talk and say 'merry Christmas' like this all seems a little..."

Callispo pressed her cane tip against Isaac's chest. "A little what, private? A little AWESOME? Because it is not. It is a lot awesome. We are doing gods work young man, and I do not want to hear another whiny hippy peep about it. Now go take showers yall, you all smell like kicked ass. Except private munger, who smells like a prissy princess who takes bubble baths. Are you a prissy princess boy?!" the other draftees giggled.

"No sir." Isaac said, irritated.

"Louder!"

"NO SIR!!" He shouted as loud as he could.

"Good. Now go clean up, eat, and watch a God's not Dead and a Christmas movie. We got a busy day tomorrow!"

-Meanwhile back home-

Eji paced back and forth, openly distressed. "Ko, do you know what box means to me?! He is the only reason I am still alive... He is the only reason I WANT to still be alive... The world is a hell hole and he is the angel stuck in it."

"Eji please calm down." Ko said. "I know him. He will come marching back like he always does. Remember the trip to Arizona? If he can survive that, he can survive the war on Christmas."

The brit sighed. "I should volentarily signed up... Pretended to be an American... Then I could go protect him... Ohh he is too innocent for war. This could destroy him in more ways than one, oh god.."

Trolli continued eating cheetos and watched them fret. "Guys, I am sure your lover boy will come home. I mean, what could happen, a 5'2 Starbucks employee wastes him? Hah! No."

"You fools keep it down. I am trying to record."

"Spookbox!" Sakura gasped, jumping seemingly out of nowhere. "What are you doing here?!"

"I will be using Isaac's channel while he is away. It is going to be a spooky Christmas. AND I will be reviewing good western cartoons not that anime trash. Oh hey Sakura remember that skit where you killed me? I think it is time I repayed the favor."

"H-Huh? But-"

Spookbox grabbed Sakura and brought her into the recording room while she struggled. "Nooooo! Dont kill meeeeee!"

The others tried to help her but seemed to bang against the black edge of the screen. He had blocked them out.

"Poor Sakura..." Said ko, looking extremely concerned.

"War hurts those at home too." Said Eji, quite astutely. He was pretty smart when not being completely thirsty.

"My Saki... No..." Trolli for once looked genuinely upset like he might cry. "We used to troll Isaac so much together... I will always remember her bathroom prank... What a clever girl... Why cant real girls be that funny and awesome."

"Hey!"

"I did not mean you Ko. Jk yeah I did!" He once again ran around the room with Ko chasing him angrily, trying to find some humor in the situation despite there being none.

"Trolli deals with loss by trolling? Figures..." Eji said. He sighed and sat down on the floor, leaning against the wall. "How will I deal with loss, if Isaac does not return?"

~~to be continued~~

[brightlytae]

I'm sorry your elections got you down :( I don't live in the UK (live in US which I can say isn't much to be proud of right now either), but I sympathize with it. I know things can suck when the future looks so bad, though things can always change, right? I don't know much about UK politics, so Idk how it works over there. -Prancer

Thank you so much. It’s sad because yesterday I felt so much hope that things were going to get better y’know? Like maybe finally people will see the damage of the last ten years and want a change? And so many of the young voters, voted in the same way as me, and it really seemed positive.

To wake up to this news is definitely worrying.

This election was a big deal bc of Brexit, a lot of our failing industries etc but there’s a conservative majority (our right wing party) now in parliament which means that for the next five years (apparently its five years due to some new law) the conservatives can pretty much do whatever they like. So change after the five years, maybe, but for now we are sort of stuck with this.

And it seems Brexit was the big reason why so many peoples voted this way, but like? We as a country are a whole lot more than Brexit? Like there’s so many aspects of government that needs to be managed and right now It’s sort of nerve wrecking because I don’t really feel like I can trust the conservative gov with things like our national health service etc. Plus they’re a party for the rich and it just seems like so many people will be worse off now that the government will basically ignore them.

Our prime minister too, has said such sexist, racist and homophobic things. He’s lied, made excuses and just overall shown time and time again that he shouldn’t be leading our country...and yet here we are.

Sorry to ramble, I don’t mean to bog you down with UK politics. But thanks again for reaching out! I’m going to try and spend the day not thinking about it and do the things I enjoy to get my head away from the fears of uncertainty!

And I promise I’ll reply to your other message! I’m just waiting to use my laptop so I can send you the links for the fics I’ll Rec you! I haven’t had a chance to get on there yet 😅