#vergil has ptsd

[that-gay-guy-from-hell]

So I have been thinking about this for a while now and wanted to post this somewhere. A good majority of the DMC fandom sees Vergil as Autistic; which don't get me wrong, I love that H/C since I have the 'tism. However. I cannot ignore that a lot of PTSD "symptoms" overlap with Autism and/or other neurodivergent "conditions". It is 100% undeniable that Vergil (and Dante) would/do have PTSD. Just the fact that their house burnt down which split them apart and killed their remaining parent is probable cause for PTSD--not to mention the literal dozens of other things that have happened to/between the brothers (I mean think about the Nelo Angelo shit for fucksake like holy crap, there is no way he didn't get fucked up from that; which, in DMC 5, had literal bodies lmfaoo). So as much as I love the H/C; I can't see him being cannonly autistic (unlike, for example, Dante being canonly Aro/Ace). Vergil just seems like a guy with extreme PTSD that likes literature. I don't know, I just have been thinking about this for a while and wanted to rant/talk about this somewhere lmao I ALSO WANT TO MAKE THIS CLEAR: I HAVE NOT READ VISIONS OF V AND I AM SOLELY BASING MY INFO ON THE GAMES. I DON'T KNOW IF THAT HAS MORE STUFF THAT WOULD CORRESPOND TO HIM BEING AUTISTIC OR NOT. I'd love to hear other thoughts about this! Please be respectful though, I have issues with tone and just overall communicating (especially online) so please don't be an asshole. Thanks!

MASTER LIST FOR TUMBLR

[moistmailman]

*Uncle Dante is watching the kids while Nero and Kyrie are out*

Dante, trying to act stern: Okay, you kids better be behave or I’ll have to give Nero a call so he can give you guys a stern talking to.

All the kids: *laughs*

Dante, confused: That…wasn’t the response I was expecting. You guys aren’t scared of Nero?

One kid: No? Why should we? He’s soft on us!

Dante: What?! Nero?! Are we talking about the same Nero here? *pulls out his phone (which is cracked)* This guy?

One kid: Yeah. That Nero.

Dante, perplexed:…….

The one kid whose being good: If you want to scare them then call Kyrie.

*all the kids’ faces turn ghostly white*

Dante, even more confused: Wait what?! Kyrie’s the one who punishes you guys?! Really?! Ol’ sweet Kyrie?

One kid, nervously: S-she can b-be very scary when mad sometimes.

Dante:…..but she’s so sweet though.

One kid: Have you ever seen her angry before?

Dante: Well, no. I guess I haven’t. I just assumed it was because it was just impossible for the girl to get angry.

One kid: Well consider yourself lucky then.

*later*

Kyrie, smiling: Thank you again for watching them, Dante. We appreciate it.

Dante: No problem. Love those little ankle biters. Can I ask a question though?

Kyrie: Yeah?

Dante: Are you the one who actually has to punish the kids when they misbehave?

Kyrie, nodding: Yeah. Nero’s too much of a sweetie when it comes to the kids, so I have to occasionally be the bad cop to keep them in check.

Dante: Nero is too much of a sweetie? Are we talking about the same guy that found a way to turn the sharp end of his sword into a blunt weapon from sheer force alone?

Kyrie, smiling: Yeah. He has a soft spot for them. I think it’s because he was also a trouble-making orphan while growing up, so he has trouble getting mad at them.

Dante: Hmm, I guess that make sense. Must be hard to be big bad momma bear sometimes, huh?

Kyrie: Nah, I already turned a troubled-orphan good once, so I’m sure I can do it all over again.

Dante: One more question?

Kyrie: Yeah?

Dante: I remember when Vergil and I came back from hell. You met my brother, right?

Kyrie: Yep.

Dante: Well after that meeting, he walked out with the Yamato sticking out of his chest and I just assumed that was Nero’s doing…..it wasn’t Nero, wasn’t it?

Kyrie, smiling: That man ripped off my husband’s arm and gave him ptsd. I would’ve done more if Nero didn’t stop me.

Dante:…….I have so much more respect for you now.

[scarletmeer]

The reason Vergil is my favorite DMC character is because he’s a pathetic sopping wet cat of a man. He’s that bitch and men and women alike wish they had his swag. He’s a mass murderer. He is the storm that is approaching. His ptsd has ptsd. He has canonically fucked. He’s terminally maidenless. He ripped his own son’s arm off and left him to bleed out on the garage floor and may have to have a relationship with Nero in spite of that. The Yamato is cool as fuck. He probably spent a few years in a jar in Agnus’s basement. He dresses like an old man. He’s responsible twin-coded but has fucked up more and worse than Dante ever will. He’s babygirl.

Nero is a close second because he <3

[icycoldninja]

may i ask dante, vergil and nero with a radio demon gn!reader (like alastor from hazbin hotel) ^^

Sure! Even though I have no idea what a radio demon is, I did some research and hopefully I did this justice. Enjoy!

Sparda boys x Radio demon!Reader headcannons

¤ Dante ¤

-Thinks it's awesome that you can broadcast certain things to everyone like you're a literal radio. He wonders if you have a set of antenna somewhere on your body.

-If you can warp or create portals, he'll ask you to create a portal from wherever his hand is currently resting to the fridge, so he doesn't have to get up to grab a snack.

-Your immortality makes him worry that one day he'll die and leave you all alone.

-Your blood magic is a serious boon on the battlefield, considering you can take the blood of any demon and forcibly rip it out of their body, saving everyone a lot of time.

-Shadow magic is cool to him because now you can make a shadow puppet show whenever he wants one!

-All in all, Dante is very intrigued by your powers and would love to learn from you, if you're willing to part with a few secrets.

■ Vergil ■

-Your intelligence impresses Vergil. As smart and educated man himself, he'd love to match wits with you.

-Your Eldritch magic is a demonstration of true POWER, which Vergil admires. Rare, considering you're a demon.

-Your teleportation and portal creation is quite like his, meaning you have yet another thing in common.

-If you're musically gifted and are able to play an instrument like a guitar or the piano, Vergil will be ecstatic because now he has a jam partner.

-Any elemental powers you possess will be greatly appreciated on the battlefield--imagine being able to blast demons with lightning or burn things to a crisp in the blink of an eye.

-Your magical broadcasting ability is also intriguing and makes Vergil wonder if you can broadcast music straight from your brain. If so, could you broadcast his theme song so the entire world can hear it at 2 AM?

□ Nero □

-Nero, likes those who came before him, is intrigued by the very thing that makes you a radio demon: your radio broadcasting ability.

-Can you use it the way telepathy use their powers? Are there limits? If so, what are they? Could you use this power for combat purposes, such as distorting enemies' minds? If so, please accompany him on missions forever.

-Blood manipulation still kind of freaks him out (he has PTSD of his arm getting ripped off) but it's effective, and therefore deserving of his respect nonetheless.

-Your teleportation and/or portal making is convienent, but it unfortunately reminds him of his dear old dad.

-Honeslty, the very fact that he's dating a demon in the first place is mind boggling--he was literally trained to kill these things and now he's cuddling one of them?! Insane.

-Of course, all these thoughts get tossed out the window once you pop open a portal to the dessert aisle in the supermarket and pull out a whole-ass cake right in front of his eyes.

[dmbakura]

Tell me more about your neurodivergent Vergil headcanons? 👀 If you want to, I mean.

these are just my own views ofc but to me he feels very autistic, almost to a comical extent (i dont believe it was intentional on capcom's part at all but idk) and the portrayal of his trauma/ptsd is one of my absolute favourites in media. i think he's just so sensitively handled and with so much nuance, which is shocking for a high action series like this.

just, the fuckin... the fuckin concentration gauge. weaponized sensory disorder. he literally cant function and gets debuffed if he isn't exerting complete control over his actions/starts taking in unwanted stimuli. his playstyle rewards precision, repetition and patience. he just like me fr

his general social mannerisms and the way he carries the yamato, dare i say stimming with the yamato, feel very much to me like someone who NEEDS order- which is a good contrast to dante (who i see adhd hcs for which is also pog) and definitely part of why vergil gets so fucking pissed at him.

onto the V side of things, there's that special interest in poetry, again weaponizing a sensory comfort/hobby as a game mechanic which is just. SO fucking cool to me. he powers up by reading poetry. i also love his complete inconsistency with tactile sensations. in the VoV manga, V constantly gets covered head to toe in demon gunk without it bothering him, but when he goes to eat a burger he has no idea how to without getting sauce on his fingers, which he cannot STAND. griffon even calls him out on this and V says he doesn't know why but he just hates that feeling in particular. again, just like me fr

about his trauma... man just the entirety of dmc5 + VoV being about vergil's literal deconstruction and journey back to himself, reclaiming the entirety of his identity, even the parts he found undesirable, is just so powerful to me. it's more lowkey in dmc5 itself, but in VoV there are very clear moments of V experiencing flashbacks/panic attacks/etc and the manga takes a more direct approach with his mental state. it's handled really well and never feels like it infantilizes or demonizes him in any way

eugh this got long enough im cutting it off here lol

[jeff-the-box-boy]

Random sinner headcanons and stuff

This is not all my hcs, I have some for Vergil as well. This is probably most of the sinner hcs I have tho

Yi Sang

Enjoys fermented, rotten and spoiled foodstuffs

Kinda looks like a Victorian orphan (pale, thin, probably scrounges around on the floor for food)

Fibromyalgia, type 1 diabetes, nyctalopia, pica, depression, autism, depersonalization, sea sickness, motion sickness, nut allergy, pet spit allergy, (to be continued?)

Yi Sang and his multitude evil exes like Ramona Flowers (Dongrang, Dongbaek, Gubo)

Stupid sense of humor but he rarely laughs, mostly just smiles to himself when he makes a name pun or hears an accident innuendos

Doesn't like conflict, especially personal conflict with people he cares about

Faust

Autism, NPD, lactose intolerant, (to be continued possibly)

Has a special interest in trains, was much more prevalent in childhood (Still prevalent in adulthood, it's why everything seems kinda train themed despite them being on a bus)

Plus sized fat girl

Indulges in Yi Sang's stupid puns and stuff, sometimes making puns of her own with him

Don

ADHDtism, delusions of grandeur, probably schizophrenia or STPD, pet hair and spit allergy, (TBC)

Never gets bed head or knotty hair

Very strong arms

Fixated on the fixers part of the fixer fandom

Writes fixer fanfic

Ryoshu

Probably ASPD, (TBC)

Has favorites when it comes to the other sinners (Faust, Sinclair, and Hong Lu)

Was likely an artist for the ring in her past

Shibari enjoyer, mostly rigger but does not mind modeling

Meursault

Autism, SPD (schizoid), hypersexual, hyperthymesia, (TBC)

Studies the people around him and slightly changes how he acts around them to make conversation less of a hassle/go smoother (I have a few examples of this kinda happening in canon)

Keeps a mental list of things he likes and does not like about the other sinners:

How they treat him, things they say that stick out, reactions to things he does, random tidbits and pieces of backstories

Also has like an actual physical notebook but his memory is good enough, tends to be full of shockingly detailed and realistic sketches with very few notes

Collects scraps of newspapers, pictures, and documents he finds

May or may not have pocketed an old Gregor propaganda poster

Hong Lu

ADHDtism, pica, latex allergy, nut allergy, (TBC)

Vaguely multilingual (not fluent) and sometimes practices with the sinners, like speaking German with Sinclair and Gregor (he sounds very funny when he speaks german)

Emotionally intelligent

All of his questions are genuine, except sometimes he asks stupid questions specifically to annoy Heathcliff:

Sometimes he just wants to hear Heathcliff explain something even if he already knows about it

He also plays along with light jabs and insults Heathcliff does, falsely proving them correct (often making Heathcliff groan or very fuckimg confused)

Good with hair styling and decent with makeup, if the girls have sleepovers he's definitely invited to them

He eats lipstick and chapstick. He takes big fucking bites out of them. He likes mint flavored lip balm.

He often steals lipstick from Rodya seeing shes one of the few on the bus that uses it but he makes it up to her by buying her more expensive makeup or food

Heathcliff

Possible IED, inferiority complex, C-PTSD, lactose intolerant, (TBC)

Lower empathy for rich people; higher empathy for poor people

Like using nicknames, they come naturally to him

Defaults to things like "bloke" and "lass" but he does have a few sinner specific ones

Ishmael

OCD, cyclothymia, Insomnia, nut allergy, (TBC)

Distracts herself with busy work, shes always trying to do something

If she has nothing to do she often stims or fiddles around with stuff like her hair, her fingers, or bounces her leg and stuff

Doesn't like feeling useless or inadequate

Showers and cleans herself multiple times a day

"scrubbing the sea water/whale spit(?) off"

Rodya

HPD, possible BPD, dyslexia, gambling addict, binge eater, inferiority-superiority complex, lactose intolerant, (TBC)

Left handed but claims ambidexterity

"Wanna hear something to get your brain thinking?" Proceeds to say some stupid shit that seems like it could be philosophical but it's actually a big nothing burger (sometimes Yi Sang actually tries towards interpret her nonsense in an actual poetic way)

Tries her hardest to ignore and not face problems, especially her own

Sinclair

Severe anxiety, DPD, PTSD, dyscalculia, possible BPD, nut allergy, pollen allergy, (TBC)

He has many bad habits that have stuck with him since childhood/school

Biting his nails and cuticles up while stressed

Not drinking enough water (doesn't want to pee during class/a meeting)

Waits till the end of a briefing to ask questions or for help 

Wears his gloves to stop his nail biting 

He also just has really cold hands

He's bites the inside of his cheeks when he can't bite his nails

Internalized homophobia but like.. in a weird way. Like. Does gay things but, either feels bad abt it, like guilty, or tries to make not gay excuses for it. But like only for himself?

Projects self hatred and his trauma on his enemies, which makes it easier for him to attack them

When both him and Demian are asleep at the same time they can share dreams and interact with each other in them

Outis

Autism, possible PTSD, latex allergy, (TBC)

She's a kiss-ass towards Dante because she had to be a kiss-ass during the war in order to move up in position

Kinda glues herself to Dante's side, she explains things that don't need explained or says she's gonna protect them (Ishmael does it better) (Dante doesn't bother trying to get Outis to stop)

The oldest sinner (until proven not)

Looks down on many of the other sinners, she kinda ranks them in her head (waste of breath, fixable, I can work with this, decent, the manager)

Gregor

Autism, PTSD, survivor's guilt, immunocompromised, pollen allergy, latex allergy, other possible allergies,  seasonal depression, disassociation

Doesn't really know how to take a compliment since he doesn't usually get complimented 

TOUCH STARVED.

Has long antenna coming from his head along with the bug arm, also unfinished/underutilized/healed over wings that sometimes nub up under his back when he's stressed but don't break through his skin (like g corp Greg's wings)

Whenever he's in battle his eyes kind of glaze over and he disassociates, buggy bits kinda take over

Gregor doesn't like killing especially when it's not very necessary, makes him think of the war and his buddies 

Gregor also has watery eyes, this is not specifically during battle but just in general. Sometimes when he lays on his side the eye on that side starts to tear up and leak

During intense moments, little bits of exoskeleton and chitin harden on him; like a patch of shell on the side of his or his buggy shoulder extends up a bit

Actually prefers stale or slightly turned food since he got modified but he doesn't tell anyone cause he's embarrassed and kind of ashamed of it (based on book Gregor not liking fresh food and only eating rotten or bad food, but less intense)

Dante

Amnesia, latex allergy, some kind of chronic pain (arthritis possibly), (TBC)

Nonbinary they/them intersex clock with a pair of sick tits (Dante deserves boobs)

Actual like. Dark gray skin 

Usually a bit of a nervous loser but occasionally has bouts of confidence/competence/authority similar to how they were from before they lost their head

Also likes to keep themself busy with work similar to Ishmael (they are trying their hardest to be a really good manager despite being thrown into this role suddenly)

Communicates with people that aren't the sinners through writing, simple sign language (they're still learning), making a sinner translate, or tracing letters on people

Gets phantom pains all the time, especially is a sinner died an exceptionally painful death recently

Clock has feeling like a real head

Gets repairs and check ups for their internal mechanisms, the clock even more sensitive inside the clock. all the wires and gears and stuff feel strange

Gregor and Ryoshu sometimes take smoke breaks with each other or light each others cigarettes 

Meursault and Heathcliff sometimes "play dress up" or "cosplay" with Don, Heathcliff refuses to be anything that's not somewhat badass though (Meursault has worn a dress before. Meursault does not talk about this incident.)

Outis and Gregor have a mutual kind of respect, and disdain for each other. They respect each other as veterans. Outis is a bit disappointed in his deserting and not seeing the war till the end. Gregor is freaked out by her "at least I didn't die" mindset compared to his "why was I the one that had to live" mindset

Gregor empathizes greatly with Dante whenever he sees them being dehumanized because of their prosthetic. He actively tries to talk and befriend Dante to make sure they never feel lonely or worthless

Gregor and Yi Sang both have midnight cravings and they dig through the dining room trash can for stale food. One night they both ran into each other in the dark while making their way to the trash can, Gregor nearly exploded in embarrassment. They don't talk about it, or at least Gregor doesn't. Both of them think about it pretty often though, more often then they'd expect

[nero-onlooking-archive]

I'm a big fan of demon hybrids having animal traits in the sense they're technically demon traits but plenty demon designs are based off animals to some degree, and I'm a biology enthusiast. So here's some of mine:

-Neros demon arm in dmc 4 is a result of his body trying to protect him. Similar to scaring, because he got attacked by a demon and it's noted he thought it was infected his body's immune response to being expose to demon (germs? Fluid? Breaking of the skin in general?) Was to basically activate his DT form in that one area likely to stave off infection and or prevent future damage. Again like scarring in humans. My supporting evidence is in DMC 5 Neros demon arm has changed to look like his according DT trigger. This is not to say DT forms are basically trauma, but that as a bodies defensive measure is less stable and functional the younger you are. Bc most of your bodies resources are going towards growing and hormones.

- Dante eating pizza with like almost all toppings could reasonably be backed as being because be it just using his guns or taking a DT form it's gonna be quite physically taxing. Carbs provide energy, it woukd realistically burn a ton of energy to do things like shapeshift. (You could make a case of this applying a similar way to V where functionally being split in two (6 counting Gryphon nightmare shadow phantom) means vergil was already running on fumes and Urizen just got most of it hence he still needed the qliphoth fruit for power. But also why even when eating it afterwards Vergil is still basically on equal footing as Dante. It basically just got Vergil at a healthy...everything. and it may be why Griffon Shadow and Nightmare weren't merged back in as well (yes symbolism obv but lemme support it with this) because the fruit was like a extreme multivitamin griffon shadow and Nightmare would be akin to like overdosing on vitamins. (This is also why Neros arm is basically in a DT state in dmc 4 but otherwise his DT is like a shadow. It's a lot of energy so this is his bodies closest thing it can manage due to energy but i wouldnt rule out age too as Dante had no issue going full DT at 18) this may also be why Nero can have his DT arms out without transforming fully into a DT form but also may just be bc he's 1/3rd demon

- Urizens form having so many eyes is a result of him still getting some of vergils trauma bc ptsd shows up as hyper vigilance/more activity in the brain.

- Neros DT form in dmc 4 and 5 both has downward horns akin to vergils dmc 3 DT form but also they are wing like in a way that reminds me of Credos Angelo form (esp in the chest) and his chin spikes are like Dantes DT form in 5. I think this is like half formed by genetics half formed by experiences in a way bc of those details. this also explains despite being idential twins dantes and vergils DT forms are so different. (Dante will never say it but he wishes his wings were also an extra pair of hands this is because he could eat more slices of pizza at a time)

- yknow how in some ways horns make cooling off easier because it pulls an animals blood out of their body through said horns to be cooled and then go back in the body? Dante and Nero can use this to cool off but Vergils broken horns don't allow this.

- bc Nero has more of a reptile/raptor motif and Vergils is more on the fish side with fin mentions I interpret this as Neros scales are made of kertaine like hair and Vegils are made of Dentine like teeth.

-until Nero regret a human arm his DT formed arm shed. This normally doesn't happen for Dante and vergil but that's bc theyre not in their DT forms 24/7.

I ALSO THOUGHT THE SAME ABOUT NEROS ARM!!

I always thought that the reason why dante never got carpal tunnel from pulling the trigger of ebony n ivory sm is because his body would heal it before it got a chance. Vergil's horns could also be broken because his internal body temp is MUCH higher than his kin, and therefore that xtra heat in his hosts is still being vented despite how broken they are?? idk.

[maikamaki]

I definitely hate the male DMC fandom.

A bunch of bearded men who only played the game and listened to the songs, but when it comes to learning about the game's story and the characters' minds, they're idiots.

I know there's a part that's really good, but it's unbeatable to see them calling Vergil and Dante Chad who has no feelings or simply belittling the characters' stories themselves.

I argued with a guy about why Vergil SHOULD regret his actions and the idiot kept saying "Oh, but Vergil didn't do anything wrong, it was Urizen" AND WHO IS URIZEN, YOUR GRANDMOTHER?!?!?!!?!??!

Or when an idiot decided to say that White Diamond wouldn't scare Vergil.

IT DOESN'T EVEN SEEM LIKE HE HAS PTSD, DOES IT? OR DID AND 90988765421123345667898998643112345678909875469867845367547654675656545465467775777 OTHER DISORDERS THAT CAN BE ACQUIRED WHEN YOU GO THROUGH A TRAUMA AS BIG AS VERGIL'S!!!!! or Nero being called dead weight 8900998766453432q2122467 time, it makes me so angry that I want to get off the screen and kill the son of a bitch!!! Nero is only bothered by this because he has SELF-ESTEEM issues!!! SOMETHING THAT VERGIL ALSO HAS!!!! OR THE WEIRD TWINKFICATION OF V??????!!?!?!?? I ABSOLUTELY HATE V TWINK AND ALWAYS WILL

[sailorsenshishitposter]

Until it finds my dreams have disappeared

I've been debating about whether or not to post this for a while. Mostly because I use my tumblr to post dumb stuff or act as a distraction from stress. I'm getting kind of tired with people though. This isn't something exclusive to the Metal Gear franchise (far from it) but it's something I've noticed happening quite frequently. Metal Gear has many characters with horrible backgrounds that suffer from PTSD/CPTSD and many mental health issues. I can't help but notice that there's a trend in the younger crowd (isn't mgs exclusive) that whenever there's a heavily traumatized character (I've only seen it happen with male characters but I assume the opposite does happen) that they considere attractive, they will simp for them and post things unironically.

It's like they see someone who they think is attractive and start actually going "NO I CAN FIX THEM! THEY'RE JUST SAD LITTLE MEOW MEOWS". Like it's fine to make jokes but when you see posts that resemble those weird celebrity fan pages bordering on obsession I think it's time to take a step back. I get some people identify with characters which is fine but they'll completely ignore said characters actions and be like "sure they killed all those people but I'd totally let them cut me up if I had the chance to smash" when the person in question isn't even real. Or there will be a character that's traumatized so badly that they think that if you just cuddle a person like that and baby them then you can fix them. I guess I'm mostly just mad because I feel like usually these are young kids who still have a chance for a good life but they're very ignorant about how people affected by trauma can be.

It's not some cute, quirky thing. It changes your whole world and your beliefs, especially when it starts in childhood. You can technically put this for any character that meets the criteria but personally for me I would have to choose Monsoon from Metal Gear Rising. He grew up with no choice but to kill to survive and witnessed the Cambodian genocide along with working for the mafia and nearly dying from that. I don't really care if someone has a crush on a fictional character, personally that's none of my business. What I'm tired of is seeing frequent posts that range from "uwu my soft cinnamon roll baby" to all the graphic smut on here depicting tortue.

I can't speak for everyone but personally I find it demeaning when being coddled by others. Yes, I went through things but please don't treat me like a child. It feels insulting. I also have no problems with BDSM but I can only take seeing so many posts that basically allude to someone drawing a character about to be raped for their own personal enjoyment. It's especially bad when people make stuff of that for characters who have already been held hostage or enslaved (I'm looking at Vergil x Mundus shippers specifically).

Trauma is not something that you can help someone overcome. It consumes them and becomes your entire world regardless of how it came to be. In fact trauma is often passed down through genes. Though you may not have someone else's memories you will have the same reactions to traumatic situations that those before you did or your body will adapt to that kind of environment. Hypervigilance can be passed down through epigenic changes in DNA.

This is where things get personal for me. Though I've never met them, I know I come down from genocide survivors. I'm either third or fourth generation. I'm not exactly sure what they saw but from what I've read it was common to see various forms of torture. One method was to stick babies in the sand and then trample over their heads with horses... Based on the family I could find and knowing their location, they must have survived the death marches and I'm unsure if they were at the final killing fields or not. That's not even mentioning everything they had being taken away from them and seeing everyone they knew suffer horrible fates. To this day bone fragments will still rise from the ground, the bodies of the dead never having been put properly to rest.

I'm unable to travel there but if I could, I couldn't help but feel like I'm being swallowed by death. Why am I here but so many perished. Then on to my father. I don't know much about him and he passed away when I was a child. All I really know about his background was that he came from a wealthy family. It was common for his friends families to have guards outside their children's bedroom doors. We lived in a western country where it was "safe" (he wasnt originally from where I Iive) but I remember he wouldn't sleep at night and would seem like he was looking for something during the day. Sometimes he just stared like he was waiting for something to happen but nothing ever came. I don't want to say that he was an intentionally cruel person, just that I don't think he had the capabilities to act like a normal human being. I was raised with a mindset of being better than others. That is to say that I wasn't supposed to have weakness. It makes sense looking back. He survived having his body messed up and I was told he survived assisnation attemps (corruption is huge down there so it's not like police could do anything). Nothing was said after so I assumed he killed whoever was after him before they could kill him. Pretty much a kill or be killed mindset.

Growing up I realized he was hard on us not to hurt us but because he thought it would make things easier for us in the future. I know it must have been even worse for him if he thought that this was being kind. Anyway he passed away when I was a child and long story short but for whatever reason my family couldn't get in contact with us so I never received my inheritance but that's for the best. I don't know how well I would have handled it at nine if I knew there was a possibility of being kidnapped or killed for the money or because someone had a grudge against my father.

I guess I always knew I was different but his death really solidified that. I was used to having to be tougher but it seems like my older sister and mother couldn't handle it. They already cried one time when we couldn't see him (which was often) and once the news broke I just remember everyone sobbing and screaming in agony. I didn't feel anything though. I realize now that it was dissociation but no tears would fall and I understood what was happening but it felt like I couldn't emotionally process it. At some point I have no memories up until a certain point. Whenever I have some sort of traumatic situation happen I suffer from dissociative amnesia. I'm not sure for how long, I just know that there are large gaps in my memory.

Right before my memories vanished I can remember not wanting to exist anymore. The day after I was surrounded by all the sobbing and knew that I couldn't let myself die. If I did I would just be trying to escape from my pain and would place it on my family. So for the last two decades I haven't really had a dream or anything to look forward to. I've just had a goal of trying not to die. There are many more traumatic things that followed which I won't get into but I dislike telling people my life story since they just give me looks of pity or seem like they want to ask how I haven't killed myself yet.

Unfortunately the kill or be killed mindset has been passed on. While I've never harmed anyone, I have recovered memories involving someone I trusted keeping me against my will and unspeakable things happening many times. I've had frequent nightmares since then and didn't know that my situation wasn't normal. By the time I was a teenager I found out that I didnt have to live my life in fear and allow abuse to keep happening. I've decided since then that I'll do whatever I can should I be faced with a similar situation in the future. I can only fight back to stop such a thing from happening again. It will most likely never occur again but it still affects my life everyday. I can't go out in public without someone I trust and even then I still scan the whole area and look for an escape route. I shouldn't have to feel like everyone around me is a possible threat to my safety and freedom.

I don't think people realize just how calming the rain can actually be. Not just the light stuff but heavy rain. It acts as a soothing white noise that drowns out your thoughts and feeling it hit your body also distracts you. I won't say when since it could reveal my location but within the last few years I was outside during a very bad storm that had frequent wet microbursts. It destroyed all the trees in the area and I almost died but I felt oddly calm. It was one of the most beautiful things I have ever seen. There was so much wind and rain that it resembled blowing snow and there was so much water hitting the ground that it would form waves that would zoom so fast and then crash only to repeat the process over and over.

I guess what I'm trying to say is I'm annoyed by all the sexualization of people with mental health issues. With the way some people act towards characters that don't exist, it worries me how they could treat real people going through similar situations. And on the other hand please see trauma survivors as real people. Many of us had to survive on our own and you thinking someone being terrified is just a shy/cute trait that makes them adorable is infuriating. I can't tell you how much I hate the latter. I'm so sick of people thinking that I need someone to spoil me with affection and protect me to the point where I feel like I'm being treated as a baby. It just makes me feel more weak and pathetic.

[eponastory]

What are you doing today Story?

Having an awesome intellectual conversation about the trauma of a fictional character and my brain is eating that shit up!

Oh, well, that's just peachy.

Vergil is autistic with disassociation, and Dante has PTSD with ADHD. I will die on that hill.

[sonicasura]

I think the funniest crossover ever would be Pizza Tower and Devil May Cry. We got one anxious pizza joint owner, Peppino Spaghetti, who would pummel someone with his bare fists while going at Mach 4 like a maniac. Then there's the wahoo half devil pizza man, Dante Sparda, that hunts demons for a living and has major family drama.

Dante would be such a common visitor to this strange pizza joint for two reasons. One is the pizza is actually good. Two Peppino practically the most interesting person he has ever met. Dante is convinced that this man got demon heritage from seeing him beat the shit out of any demons who try wreck the joint.

Hell there is a gooey doppelganger he seen multiple times with an apparent appetite for demon meat, living pizza toppins who dance around and another chef that rides on a giant ass rat. Peppino meanwhile just glad Dante pays for his massive amount of food(thank Vergil whose tired of his little brother's tab lifestyle. He does the funds.) He still doesn't know how this guy with the big ass sword even found his shop.

I got even funnier yet wholesome crack thought in the form of Nero being adopted by Peppino. He magically disappears from the orphanage doors and instead pops up outside the diner. Peppino is fucking confused as he just finished closing up his new restaurant only to find a baby. (DMC and PT are separate worlds that can be accessed through particular areas.)

Cue instant panic since who the hell would leave a baby here?! He can't exactly leave the kid here as there is no place to take him anywhere. Thus the start of reluctant dad Peppino and Nero Ink Spaghetti with special guest uncle Gustavo!

It was definitely a struggle raising a baby alongside running a pizza joint but our anxious man manages to do it. Peppino is an absolute happy crier when it comes to Nero's big accomplishments. Especially making his first pizza by himself as he definitely teaches our quarter devil how to cook.

Although Peppino hates the Noise a lot more than him being a usual nuisance. He can handle the mean pranks when it's on him but his son? You can thank one notorious mishap with the Noise that awakened a 10 year old Nero's Devil Trigger.

The kid was absolutely a fucking wreck when it happen not because he have no clue on his heritage nor demons completely. It's how Peppino would react as the man who raised him like a son is a massive ball of PTSD from being a retired war veteran. The man definitely got spooked when his kid burst into flames.

Nero being able to change into some kind of devil wouldn't make Peppino reject him though. This was just another side that everyone would have to get used too but yeah. Peppino definitely hates the Noise with passion after this incident.

Nero's first adventure actually doesn't start in Devil May Cry 4 but instead Pizza Tower which takes place a year before it. Due to Pizzaface antics, father and son got separated for quite awhile. Taking on the various levels of each floor before finally reuniting at Fake Peppino's boss stage: Bruno's Pizza.

Nero stole a random sword on Floor 1 and a gun from Floor 2 as he doesn't has his official gear yet. (He steals that from SWORD while at Fortuna.) Pizza Tower could be considered a perfect playground to figure his own abilities than just Devil Trigger. That and final boss tag team as both were completely done with Pizzaface at that point.

Now things around the diner absolutely changed a bit afterwards. Fake Peppino, Peppy, moved in without warning although Nero wasn't that offput unlike his dad. He absolutely pulled the 'Clone = New Kid' card on Peppino as the Toppins were practically adopted too from how fond said man is with them. (Those little guys taunt whenever Peppino does too!)

Ending up on Fortuna can be considered a Hell Portal in the wrong place at the wrong time. Or it shows up inside Peppino's Diner which practically leads Peppino, Nero, Gustavo, Brick, and Pep to get dragged in devilish shenanigans. You can bet your ass everyone was so fucking befuddled by these newcomers.

Dante the most as he had a feeling who Nero is but not the strange man who piledrived a Balrog with sheer strength and speed. Did Peppino think the half devil is his son's relative? Absofuckinglutely. White hair, can go Devil Time(what he calls Devil Trigger) and the obviously cultish spiel about this 'Sons of Sparda' was enough.

He would've torn into Dante if the man didn't admit to being clueless. (Vergil nor his other halves are safe though. Even V is getting suplexed.) Peppino and Pep do rip Dante a new one when he decides to call Nero deadweight. You don't insult their son/older brother without an ass kicking.

Our Pizza Tower makeshift family get involved in Devil May Cry 5 when Nero didn't call them back for awhile. He had decided to work under Dante so he could get to understand his family heritage better. Nero still calls and visits when he can even bringing Kyrie along.

Peppino did cry upon finding out the two became a couple like the proud dad he is. Kyrie gets quite well with Pep and thinks the Toppins are adorable little fellows. Now I can't forget about Vergil.

You can bet your ass it was fucking awkward when he found out not only Nero is his son but considers this weirdass anxious man as his father. Peppino loathes Vergil to no end especially with the arm cutting to get Yamato. The older Sparda doesn't visit the diner for awhile since Pep would try to tear him apart since he's just as vengeful. Fake Peppino likes the taste of demon flesh btw.

It took some time before things could smooth over between both parties. Now if only Dante and Vergil behave than try to kill each other near his restaurant. Peppino's Diner practically has a two way portal between both worlds due to the Hell Portal in the restaurant incident. (It's in the basement behind a closed door.)

The Devil May Cry crew do visit frequently thanks to that. Mainly Dante since the pizza is not only good but cheaper too. If a demon tries to slip through than Peppino will beat the shit out of it. Also he probably got a Devil Arm shaped like a pizza cutter now that I think about it.

Then again, Peppino's Diner never be the same after a little baby with white hair showed up at the doors. What do you guys think? For now enjoy this little jam.

[that-gay-guy-from-hell]

Phantoms of the Past: Vergil x Male Reader

SUMMARY: Vergil has always had nightmares and night terrors for as long as he can remember; however, when he met you, those began to subside more and more. Over the years, he had begun to forget what it was like to wake up in a cold sweat and terrified; that is until a few months ago. Once more, his mind has been plagued by these agonizingly real dreams.

BEGINNING NOTES: HAH! YOU THOUGHT I WAS DONE WRITING SAD FLUFF WITH VERGIL; WELL THINK AGAIN (He really is my comfort character--I swear). There are 12,886 words in this… This beats my last one so now this is the longest chapter I’ve written--It’s like 23 pages in google docs lmao. ⚔️🛡️⚔️ ▪️I couldn’t find an exact answer to this so I will put this here: a grin refers to the lil’ smirky smile Vergil gives Dante in DMC5 while a smile is closer to like showing your teeth. I hope that helps clear things up a bit lmao ▫️I use an in-game combo term (DMC 5)--just a head’s up. ▪️When I reference triggering unless I say specifically “Sin Trigger” I am referring to Vergil’s regular trigger (the pre-DMC 5 form; however, I use the concept art for DMC5 as my visual reference… I know that’s kinda complicated. Just look at his fandom page and then the gallery; you’ll see the concept art for DMC5.) ▫️I’ve never personally had a concussion before so I did some online research; forgive me if it is a bad representation of having 🛡️⚔️🛡️ 💠Vergil x Male reader; I tried to write G/N but it got confusing, sorry. 🔹Pre-established relationship--married and living together. 💠Fluff… well more angst; I got kind of carried away. 🔹Minor accusations of physical abuse; THE KEYWORD IS ACCUSATIONS. (trigger warning) 💠Minor blood warning; from both of you. ⚔️🛡️⚔️ READER RELATED 🔹The reader uses: Beowulf and Revenant 🔹Reader is overly chill about things; I am a rather passive person so it ended up being that way with this story, sorry. 🔹It is mentioned that you are younger than Vergil--and closer to Nero’s age. 🔹Reader does throw up; only mentioned it isn’t like graphic or anything--still figured I should warn just in case. 🛡️⚔️🛡️ VERGIL RELATED 💠Vergil has PTSD-related nightmares/actions. 💠Self-harm? Vergil skins himself accidentally; so I am not sure if that is self-harm per se. Plus it’s only in one part so it’s not that big of a talking point. 🛡️⚔️🛡️ Slight spoiler, don't read if you don't want to have things spoiled: To add some explanation to Vergil’s bit where he swore and freaked out: I figure that when Vergil lost his autonomy for so long as Nelo Angelo, he ended up becoming hyper-aware of what he is doing at all times. So when he does something that he either can’t remember doing or didn’t want to do that it would send him into a panic; fearing that he is going to lose his freedom again.

==

INSPIRED BY: And when thy heart ceased to beat--By: Craig 

Please give this a read. It is what originally inspired me to write this, plus it is just a really good story and takes a pretty realistic look at what Vergil’s life could/would be like after everything that’s happened. 

==

     A cold wind swept through the arena as all movement stilled. 

     At the edges were the two remaining contenders; circling one another. One, a male human equipped with Beowulf, was out of breath and exhausted: the other, the olive-armored Nelo Angelo, had barely warmed up and diligently awaited the human's next move.

     Seeing how the man defeated the slew of lesser demons that Nelo had sent prior, he decided to take things into his own hands. The devilish swordsman was confident that he’d win this fight; even if this particular human has been more of a challenge than anticipated--as the pair has been going at it for nearly an hour now. 

     With gritted teeth, the man sprinted at Nelo, cracking the ground in their wake. He was going to try and grapple with the large knight. Right before he was able, Nelo swung his greatsword. The silver blade was suddenly halted as it hit the Beowulf gauntlets. Even though the man was unharmed, the momentum of the attack was enough to fling the human far across the field. 

     Using the claws of the gauntlets, the man shredded the arena’s floor and stopped himself. Nelo turned to face him and waited for the incompetent warrior to stand back up. Noticing that the knight stood still, the man began to grow frustrated; knowing that the devil was taunting him to try again. 

     With a pounding heart and exhaustion only worsening, the man stood up with a grunt. He rolled his shoulders, cracking them loudly, and took a deep breath. Once more he sprinted at Nelo. When the man was close enough, he decided to jump off one of the nearby walls. Springing himself above the Black Knight and performed Starfall. 

     Nelo dodged but wasn't quite fast enough and was nicked along one side; which only further irritated the Black Knight. The second the man's feet landed, Nelo kicked the underside of their knees--bringing them to a kneel.

     Not wasting any time, Nelo raised his sword to strike, only to be blocked once more by the Beowulf gauntlets. The pair locked in a bind; Nelo’s sword heavily pushing downwards onto the forearms of Beowulf, which were painfully held above the man’s head.

     No matter what way you put it, a devil's strength is insurmountable to a human’s, even if the human is wearing the armor of a former devil. Nelo knew this and drove his weapon harder into the demonic protection as it began to falter.

     Knowing it was only a matter of time before the gauntlets shattered, the man moved into a position where he could dig his feet into the ground. This allowed him to stand ever so slightly. Not having any better ideas, he used this small amount of space and attempted to jump. This, in turn, used the demonic energy of the boots to push the gauntlets up harder into the greatsword; allowing the man to stand up further. Without wasting any time, he jumped once more and noticed small cracks that began to spider on their forearm guards. However, he had enough room to break away from Nelo; making the knight slam his blade into the ground. 

     The man grumbled as they looked down at his gauntlets, seeing that they would shatter if hit by the sword again. 

     Nelo pulled his sword back up and huffed. Now it was his turn.

     Nelo sprinted at his opponent and lunged with the broadsword; catching the man off guard; as he only barely dodged the sharp edge, rolling into a stand. Before the man had a moment to think, Nelo attacked once more. A large sweeping motion from the broadsword hit the gauntlets and blue sparks flew off the sword from the impact; sending the human flying into a wall of the arena. 

     Standing back on his feet, the man looked at his forearms; Beowulf had fractured all the way through. Seeing Nelo begin to move in again, he quickly shed the broken armor and dodged. Using Beowulf’s boots, he jumped onto Nelo’s shoulders and used him as a surface to bounce off. 

     The devil turned to face the man and heard him say something unintelligible; and yet, something so familiar. Nelo ignored it with a small dismissive shake of his head and continued the fight. Once more he moved to attack. The man attempted to dodge in the same way again, not knowing what else to do. However, Nelo wasn’t created yesterday. He was quick enough to grab the man's leg in a flash. 

     Nelo used the human’s limb as a handle to swing the attached body into the ground. The floor cracked from the extreme force as the man's flesh made contact; followed by an ear-piercing scream and the sound of an unimaginable amount of breaking bones. 

     A strange feeling ghosted at the recesses of Nelo’s mind, a feeling of terror--a deep underlying urge to stop what he was doing. However, the knight had to finish what he started. The demonic swordsman grabbed the man by his neck; making him scream once more. 

     Despite their wounds, the human still attempted to fight. He grasped at Nelo’s face and horns, pulling on them; all the while, the man was saying something Nelo was still unable to understand. 

     It didn’t matter, the struggle was pointless.

     Like a hot knife through butter, Nelo plunged his broadsword through the man’s torso. Nelo felt the human’s body go limp and their hands released the tight grasp on his face. The dead man’s blood trickled down the silver blade and onto Nelo Angelo’s olive-armored fingers. Before the knight could enjoy his victory, he decided to get a better look at his opponent. 

     A loud clatter emanated from his sword as he dropped it and the fresh corpse. The Black Knight’s hands shook as he looked at the blood that was dripping from them, horrified at what he’d done.

     Vergil shot upwards with a loud terrified scream. 

     He frantically turned his head around to get his bearings. He was sitting at home, in bed, with you. Vergil’s heart was racing and his skin was clammy. With short panicked breaths, Vergil gripped his face tightly, unknowingly tearing at his skin with his claws, as he replayed everything in his mind. 

     “Vergil? Is everything alright?” a confused and very concerned voice called from the space beside him.

     The blue devil nearly jumped out of his skin upon hearing you speak. You sat upwards upon noticing his terrified state.

     “Hey,” you whispered and gently touched his bicep, making him flinch.

     Vergil turned his head to you and just stared. You noticed that his arms were partially triggered, his eyes were glowing dully, and there were small pin-prick-sized bleeding marks caused by his claws on his face. His stare was blank with his brow ever-so-slightly creased. He looked afraid… almost as if he were lost.  

     “Another nightmare?” you softly kneaded against his arm, hoping to bring him back from whatever terrified thoughts he was in, “It’s okay, Vergil. You’re safe. Nothing is going to hurt you.” 

     His stare moved down to your chest and he slowly reached outwards. Confused, you let go of his arm--allowing him to fully pivot to see you. Barely-there scaled charcoal-black fingers ghost down your midline. You noticed a slight tremble in his lips and his stare had softened a bit.

     Slowly you grabbed his arm, making sure he could see what you were doing (and to be cautious of his forearm’s blades), “I’m right here, Vergil. You’re safe and at home. Everything’s okay.”

     He opened his mouth but no words came out, just a weak crack of his voice. The both of you just sat for a few minutes; his palm resting firmly over your stomach while you rubbed his forearm. You continued to try and ground him back in reality with your words, hoping to keep things from escalating. 

     When Vergil’s trigger began to subside, he cleared his throat and spoke in a barely audible voice, “I didn’t…” his voice trailed off once more.

     “It’s okay Vergil,” you noticed his expression had shifted and he seemed to be more present, “You’re safe. I’m safe. We’re alright.”

     Vergil nodded slowly, his free hand moved to yours that you had on his forearm. You let go of him and watched as he removed his palm from your skin. He placed your hand in between both of his. With trembling fingers, Vergil ran his digits over your hand and arm while staring down at the interaction. 

     Another few minutes passed, Vergil’s trigger had fully subsided and a few stray tears fell from his eyes. It pained you to see him like this; to see him so scared and not know how to help him. A small pang of hurt tugged at your heart; you had a feeling that whatever the nightmare was, it involved you as (you presumed) most have. However, tonight was different; Vergil didn’t attack you.

     Over the past few months, Vergil’s nightmares and terrors had been getting steadily worse. Just two weeks ago he woke you up by almost dislocating your shoulder. A week ago? Vergil triggered in his sleep and gouged the crap out of your back--enough that you had to get new bedding because of bloodstains.

     Tonight, you finally managed to get him to sleep for the first time in a week and he had another agonizing nightmare. It was also the first time he had tried to speak to you afterwards; rather than sit in silence. 

     A stuttering breath caught your attention. You looked into Vergil’s eyes as he spoke, his voice still laced with a terror you’d never heard from him before, “I couldn’t… You...” the blue devil’s jaw quivered, not being able to bring himself to finish his thought.

     “You’re okay. I’m okay. Everything’s okay,” you moved to get closer to him, “I promise.”

     He pulled you into his lap and buried his face into your neck and continued to mumble, “I’m sorry,” over and over as he shook against you.

     You gently wrapped your arms around him and rubbed his back, “It’s not your fault, you don’t have to be sorry.”

     The two of you remained this way until you both fell asleep. Vergil, thankfully, did not have another nightmare; however, his sleep was far from restful.

==

     A ringing phone woke you from your sleep and you moved to grab it, only to be stopped by a strong set of arms. Vergil had wrapped himself entirely around you--legs and all.

     “Vergil,” you whispered, “I need to get up.”

     He grumbled in response and loosened his grip just enough for you to slip out of bed. You grabbed your phone and went to the bathroom. While in there, you saw that Dante had tried to call you and text you:

     “You coming in today?”

     “Hello?”

     “I am going to keep spamming you till you respond,” and that he did. 

     It looked like Dante had been doing this for the past 30 minutes. 

     After you finished up in the bathroom, you called Dante.

     It rang once before the red devil picked up, “Mornin’ beautiful.”

     You rolled your eyes as you made your way back to the bedroom, “Do not call me that; Vergil will kill you.”

     “Be one hell of a way to die--make sure to put it on my grave, yeah?”

     The both of you laughed, “So, what’s up? The shop finally burn down or something?”

     “Honestly… I don’t think the fires of Hell could burn this place down…” you could hear Dante’s chair creak as he leaned forwards, “You both forgot about that job this morning, huh?”

     Your face went pale, “What--”

     The younger twin laughed, “Verge and you had a contract for today. It’s nearly noon and you both are still at home?”

     “Son of a bitch!” you yelled, forgetting that Vergil was still sleeping, “We’ll be right there.”

     “See you soon,” you could practically hear Dante reveling in the fact Vergil messed up.

     “Mhm, yep,” with that, you hung up the phone.

     “Dante?” Vergil grumbled from the bed, making you jump slightly.

     The bed creaked as you sat on it, swinging one leg on it, “Yeah… We are late to work…”

     Vergil moved to set his head on your lap and sighed, “I will undoubtedly never hear the end of this mistake.”

     “Mhm,” you gently ran your fingers through his naturally down hair, “knowing Dante.”

     “Brillant,” Vergil looked up at you and had a strange pained look.

     “Something on your mind?” 

     His lips parted slightly as he took a hand and reached up to your face, not saying anything.

     You kissed his palm, “I’m right here, Vergil.”

     He closed his eyes and nodded with a sputtering exhale. This had also become a regular occurrence in the last few months; even before the terrors began. You had noticed that Vergil would often stare at you with this sad and distant look on his face. One night, he finally acknowledged that he did so and admitted why; that he was afraid you aren't real.

     After a few moments, Vergil removed his hand and sat upright. An air of remorse emanated from the twin as he whispered, “I did not harm you last night, did I?”

     You shook your head, “No,” you set a hand on his bicep, “You did talk to me a bit, though.”

     His brow furrowed as he tried to remember and looked over his shoulder at you.

     “You kept… apologizing, telling me that you didn’t know..? I won’t pry, but…” you locked eyes with the blue devil, “I am here if you ever want or need to talk about it, okay?”

     He turned to you, “Thank you for your offer… But I assure you that I am fine.”

     “Vergil,” you placed a hand on his and spoke softly, “You don’t have to be fine all the time; it’s okay to be upset, to have problems.”

     A weak grin was all he gave you in return, squeezing your hand tightly. 

     The eldest twin knew exactly what had set off this spiral of increasingly terrified thoughts; however, he was ashamed to admit it, even to you. 

==

     It had been a job just like any other; clear out demons here and destroy a nest there--a piece of cake really. However, the weather was far from amiable; being overcast and heavily raining.

     “Fuck me!” you growled as you violently yanked the Beowulf boot from the mud. 

    The demonic hardware is rather heavy, at least for your human legs, so it is not ideal for muddy rainy weather--often getting stuck. Vergil noticed your grumbling and scrunched-up expression from the corner of his eye as he stifled a laugh. 

     “Don’t even--” you insincerely growled at him, “I swear I will throw them at you.”

     Vergil smirked slightly and huffed a laugh through his nose, “Perhaps you’d prefer me to leave you here?”

     Playfully you shoved his shoulder, “You wouldn’t dare.”

     His eyes narrowed, "I wouldn't?"

     You raised a brow, "You'll sleep on the couch for a week if you do, mister,” your voice was heavily layered with sarcasm and playfulness.

     Without responding, Vergil grabbed you by your waist and hoisted you over one of his shoulders like a sack of potatoes.

     “Hey--!” you squirmed in his grasp.

     “Stop struggling,” his grip tightened as his fingers dug into your skin, “Or I will drop you.”

     With a shake of your head and a smile, you laughed, “What a romantic husband I have.”

     “Tch,” Vergil was scowling, but you knew it was disingenuous.

     The two of you walked like this for some time, enjoying the comfortable silence (which if you listened very closely, you could hear Vergil purring). A part of you had almost forgotten that the both of you were on a job; that is until Vergil yanked you from his shoulder and plopped you on your feet. 

     He placed a stiff hand on your shoulder, “Stay,” with that, Vergil dashed off behind you. 

     Confused, you turned around and watched Vergil zip around a group of miscellaneous demons. You lovingly wolf-whistled at the silver-haired hunter. 

     Similar to a peacock showing its feathers, Vergil did these solo fights to show off--to flirt with you. You knew that this was the case because he would always finish the fight with a fancy move; be it an over-the-top judgment cut or using his doppelgänger in a combo. Today he opted for the second type.

     You smirked widely as you watched Vergil return the Yamato to its scabbard and dismiss Doppel.

     Lovingly, you cooed at the devilish swordsman, “I love watching you work, you know that?”

     His face was emotionless, holding intense eye contact with you. His lips were slightly parted as he seemingly tried to come up with a response. 

     Under your breath, you laughed quietly and approached him, “my Dark Slayer,” you winked and gave him a large grin. 

     He closed his lips and looked down with a tiny smirk, a trace amount of bashfulness ghosted his features. As you got within reach of him, a loud noise made both of you snap to attention. The two of you moved closer together, back to back; as per typical routine. The source of the noise sprung from the nearby buildings. It was a group of four Scudo Angelos and two Proto Angelos. 

     Vergil’s lip twitched as he huffed in irritation. He would always take care of these two types in particular, alone. Right now, however, it is impossible to get you away to a safe distance without a high risk of hurting you. 

     “So, you got a plan?” you calmly asked over your shoulder to Vergil.

     With a small click of his tongue, Vergil spoke, “You take care of the Scudos; I will take the Protos.”

     “Sounds good,” you nodded and the two of you broke apart. 

     Using Beowulf, you made quick work of the smaller demons’ shields. The talon heels of the boots are always a great tool for crushing the demons’ thick skulls. It didn’t take long for you to have them all but bloodied remains beneath your heels. You turned to address Vergil, figuring that he had finished his fight alongside you; however, he was still in combat. 

     You raised a brow as you watched him take on both of the knights. Confusion pricked at the edges of your mind, it was unusual for Vergil to take longer than you. The closer you watched the more off he seemed; his movements were overly stiff and his technique was sloppy. Deciding to help him, you moved in on one of the Proto Angelos. It didn’t take long for the demon to notice you. It charged at you and, just as it swung its broadsword, you parried the attack using your gauntlets. Taking advantage of the small gap of time that it took for the demon to pull its blade upwards, you hit it square in the chest. 

     The Proto Angelo stumbled back a bit but was relatively unphased by the uncharged punch. Now circling each other, you waited for the demon to attack. Once it did, you jumped upwards and were able to perform Starfall upon the knight. Grinding your taloned heels into the flattened olive-armored demon, you did a fancy flip off of it; deciding to have some fun. Which was a major mistake. 

     You hadn’t noticed that the second Proto Angelo also had its attention on you as it had knocked Vergil into a far-off wall. Hearing movement, you spun around to defend yourself but it was too late. 

     A searing pain shot through you as the demon’s broadsword slashed horizontally along your torso. With a loud shout, your knees buckled a bit as you stumbled backwards. You placed your arm along the slash, feeling it with your fingers--as to not break eye contact with the demon. The wound was bleeding profusely and was much deeper than you anticipated. 

     “Shit,” you grimaced and noticed the first Proto Angelo stand up. Thinking quickly, you sprinted at the second one and jumped off its shoulders. With another loud shout in pain, you landed using a shoulder roll. Your head was spinning as you slowly moved to kneel with your back to the demons. 

     A bright blue flash caught your eye and you felt a gush of wind pass you by. Once you managed to stand, the pair of Proto Angelos had been desolated into nothing but specs of dust in the wind. Where the demons once stood was Vergil in his sin trigger. Instantly, he was in front of you, making you jump a little. 

     With a huff and a weak smile, you jested, “Kinda sad I missed that,” you winced a bit as you felt your gut twitch in pain.

     A large grey-scaled hand gently touched your wound. Despite the heavy distortion of his sinful voice, you could tell he was worried, “You are hurt?”

     You did your best to play it off as you set a hand atop his, “I’ll be fine; it’s just a scratch.”

     He huffed loudly and pulled his hand from your body, looking at his palm that was covered in your blood, “I am sending you home--”

     “What-!” you shook your head, “Vergil, you can’t be-”

     The blue devil snarled lightly, “This is not up for discussion,” he sighed with a shake of his head returning to his human form, “It is not worth the risk to keep you here.”

     With parted lips, you did your best to formulate a sentence despite your anger, “I’m not just going to leave you,” you shifted your jaw to the side, “We’re partners, remember?”

     “As if I could forget,” Vergil’s eyes met yours as he mumbled, “That is why I am doing this.”

==

     “Vergil?” your voice pulled him from his thoughts, “You okay? You’ve been zoned out for a few minutes.”

     “Forgive me,” he removed his hand from yours, “I was lost in thought.”

     You looked at him curiously.

     Vergil shifted to the other edge of the bed, “We should get ready,” with that Vergil left the room.

     You pursed your lips and sighed through your nose as you stood up; admittedly, you had hoped he might indulge you on what he was thinking about. 

     After a few minutes, Vergil returned to the room. You already had the majority of your gear on and were in the middle of tying your boots when the ringing of your cell phone caught your attention.

     Before you could answer it, Vergil snatched it off the bedside table, “What do you want, Dante? "

     Although you couldn’t hear the younger twin, you could tell that he was poking fun at Vergil for being late. 

     “Have you called only to pester? Or is there a reason for this conversation?” Vergil’s lip twitched as he huffed through his nose.

     A small smirk tugged at your lips at Vergil’s feigned irritation at his baby brother.

     “I see,” Vergil slowly looked over to you and eyed you up and down, “My partner and I will discuss it and let you know,” he turned his gaze from you, “Goodbye,” he hung up the phone and placed it gently down on the bedside table as it was before. 

     Vergil moved to the closet and grabbed a dress shirt, his jaw moving slowly around as he mindlessly buttoned the black fabric. Your boots hit the floor with a soft thud. Humming a soft tune as you moved to the dresser to grab Revenant off of it, sliding it into the horizontal holster on the small of your back. From the corner of your eye, you noticed Vergil standing behind you. 

     “Oops, shit-- sorry,” you shuffled out of the way.

     “Do not apologize, I am in no rush,” he opened one of the drawers and grabbed a pair of pants and his belt.

     A bright smile adorned your face as you resumed your humming. You grabbed your coat and his off the nearby wall hooks and walked over to him.

     Vergil had moved back to the closet and slid on one of his vests.

     “Allow me?”

     The blue devil turned to you, “I can button my own clothing.”

     “I thought you weren’t in a rush?” you teased gently.

     You handed Vergil his coat to hold and slowly began to button the slate-blue apparel. Out of the top of your vision, you could see that Vergil was staring down at you with a ghost of a smile tugging at his lips. 

     “So what did Dante want?” you reached over to the closet behind him and grabbed one of his ties.

     “He wanted to know if you wished to trade places with him for today.”

     “What’s that supposed to mean?” you made sure the tie was semi-loose--as he prefers--and tucked it beneath his vest.

     “That he would accompany me on the job and you would work with the women--taking Dante’s place."

     “Well,” you rested your hands on his shoulders and sighed quietly, “I guess that makes the most sense since we are so late today…”

     “Are you sure you are alright with it?” his eyes flicked to your hands then back to you, “I know you prefer to work with me,” he tossed his coat over on the bed and placed his hands on your waist.

     You laughed as you felt him pull you closer, “It’ll be fine, dear,” you leaned your head on his chest, “just promise me you’ll stay safe and keep in touch?”

     “Of course,” his voice was barely over a whisper as he kissed the top of your head, “Same goes for you.”

     “I will,” a grin spread across your face as you leaned back to look at him. Lovingly, Vergil pressed further into you and moved one of his hands to the side of your face, rubbing his thumb on your cheek. The two of you kissed gently. His other hand kneaded into your hips as you moved your hands down the front of his chest, grabbing his vest. 

     Gradually, you two split from the kiss. The blue devil stayed touching your forehead. You shivered slightly feeling his hot breath against your lips, wanting to taste more of him.

     “Perhaps we should save this for later?”

     “Just a little more… please?” you pouted slightly.

     The blue devil chuckled softly, “With a face like that,” he brushed his lips against yours, “how could I say no?”

     The two of you intertwined yourselves once more. He moved both his hands to your sides, slowly and strongly kneading down them. With kisses as sweet as molasses, he made sure to show you how much he relishes in your affections. One of your hands moved to his hair and slowly ran your fingers through slicked back pomaded locks. A small distant purring could be heard as he pulled you even tighter to his body. Vergil’s lips left yours and ran down your jawline and neck.

     “I love you,” you murmured, “so very much…”

     He removed his lips from your skin and looked you in the eyes; his way of expressing the same affection. Despite his silence, you knew he felt the same. 

     A ghost of a smile hinted at Vergil's face as he reluctantly let go of your body, returning to his regular volume, “We should get going; otherwise I may change my mind about saving things for later.”

     Your face turned a slight red at the flat-out way Vergil said that he wanted you. The blue devil had walked over to the bed and slid on his coat. He then grabbed Yamato from its resting place next to the bed and your phone.

     With your phone outstretched in his hand, he raised a brow at your expression, “Ready?”

     You shook the ever-encroaching ideas from your head as you meekly grabbed your phone, “Yeah.”

     “Good,” his hand was still outstretched, “Shall we?”

     A large smile decorated your face as you grabbed his hand, “Lead the way, dear.”

==

     The instant you left Nico’s van after work, you went inside to bathe. It had been another rainy day and you were not only coated in demon blood but also mud--lots of mud. You pulled off Beowulf before entering your shared home and set them on the rubber mat near the door; leaving them to clean later. 

     Slowly, you undressed as you made your way to the bathroom when you heard something odd.

     “--to do,” it was Vergil. You peered through the door of the bedroom. He was sitting on the edge of the bed facing away from you and was talking to himself, “Perhaps it would be best--” he stopped and turned his head slightly to the right. 

     You bit your lip and knocked gently, “Hey, sorry to intrude… Didn’t know you were home.”

     Vergil pushed up on his knees, standing to turn and face you, “Do not apologize, I wasn’t doing anything important…” he looked worn out.

     The door creaked as you fully opened it and stepped into the room, halfway undressed, “You look tired, babe.”

     The blue devil shook his head, “Dealing with my brother is exhausting.”

     “Well, then after I shower,” you set Revenant down on the dresser, “maybe we should take a nap together?” 

     “I-” Vergil’s expression hardened, “I don’t know if that is a good idea.”

     Your lips parted slightly as you looked with a soft crease of your brow, “I know it’s been rough but… you need some sleep, Vergil…”

     He looked as if he were going to say something, but moved his gaze to the floor and nodded in agreement. 

     “You don’t have to wait for me,” you moved back towards the door, “I’ll join you when I get back, okay?”

     The eldest twin nodded as he watched you leave the room.

     He had already removed most of his clothing, only having his pants and his, untucked, dress shirt on. Slowly, Vergil stood and went to get a more casual shirt; removing the rest of his work clothes. 

     Now dressed in a loose-fitting black tank top and navy boxer briefs, he moved back to the bed. Apprehensive didn’t even describe how he felt right now; no, the eldest son of Sparda was petrified over the thought of sleep. However, you were right, he was beyond beat and wanted nothing more than to rest. With a heavy sigh, he climbed into the bed and closed his eyes, praying for just a moment of pleasant sleep.

     You came back into the room about an hour later. With a warm smirk, you tip-toed around the room to avoid waking the sleeping devil. Once you re-dressed yourself, you turned back to look at Vergil when you noticed something was wrong. 

     His face was contorted into a rather violent grimace and, as per the night before, was partially triggered. Vergil was also breathing heavily and growling in his sleep. In his arms, he had taken one of the pillows--and some of the duvet--into a death grip, ripping them.

     Biting your lip in thought you sighed, “Shit…” although you knew that this could only end badly, you decided to wake him up from his nightmare.

     Cautiously, you moved to the edge of the bed and placed a hand on his shoulder, “Vergil..?”

     Nothing.

     Your gut twisted with fear as you shook him harder, “Vergil?”

     Still nothing.

     With a heavy sigh, you shook him harder, “Wake up…”

     Instantly, you were pinned to the floor by a set of charcoal-black scaled hands around your throat. You had never been scared of Vergil before but tonight? You were terrified. His face was somewhere between emotionless and furious. A loud rumbling growl emanated from the back of his throat as he continued to squeeze ever-tighter.

     “Verg-” your voice sputtered as you grabbed his arms, gasping for air. 

     Blood had begun to trickle down your palms as you accidentally sliced them on his forearm blades in your panic. Becoming steadily aware of your need for air, you grabbed at his face and neck; anything to get him off of you. 

     Tears sprung from your eyes as you felt his claws pierce the sides of your neck as his grip tightened even further. You knew that if he pressed down his thumbs, Vergil would stab right into your windpipe and kill you. 

     Lightheadedness began to sink in as you croaked out another beseeching plea to your lover, “Vergil--!”

     With nothing left to do, you clawed harder against him and roughly cut into his cheek with your nails. This seemingly pulled him from his delusion as his grip loosened.

     A new look replaced the hardened glare from before, a look of complete and utter horror. 

     Vergil’s voice trembled as he realized what was going on, “What--?”

     You took a loud deep breath and pulled his arms away from you and spoke as best you could with the growing pain in your throat, “Move,” you pushed against his body and did your best to speak normally, “please.”

     Without hesitation, Vergil removed himself completely and stood staring down at you. He looked at his, still-triggered, hands and saw your blood dripping from his claws. The blue devil’s blood ran cold. 

     “Vergil-” you groaned as you sat upwards, watching him bolt out of the room, “Wait-” with a strained grunt, you gradually stood upright and did your best to stabilize your wobbly legs.

     The blue devil slammed the bathroom door close, quickly locking it behind him. His hands had de-triggered and shook violently as he tried to wash the blood from his skin. He had turned the faucet as hot as possible and had begun to inadvertently scorch his skin. While he was brutalizing his own hands, he felt something drip down his jawline and to the tip of his chin. Vergil looked at himself in the fogged-up glass in front of him.

     Upon each side of his face and neck were dark smears of your blood from you pushing him away. Three large scratches decorated one of his cheeks and were slowly bleeding; now dripping off of his chin and to the sink below. Vergil took one of his hands and slowly ghosted over the markings on his face. A deep all-encompassing pit formed in his gut as he replayed the nightmare from just the night prior. The feeling of you desperately tearing at Nelo’s face, trying to escape him.  

     A tremble found its way to Vergil’s lips and body. Pressing as hard as he could, the eldest twin began to desperately scrub his blood-stained face with the sink's boiling water; grimacing from the feeling of peeling the top layers off of his flesh. You were the only person in the world he wouldn’t dare fight, wouldn’t dare harm; yet, only mere moments ago, he had his hands around your neck. A wicked thought echoed in his mind, how it would have only taken just a few more seconds or just a little more pressure for him to have killed the only person he has ever loved. Vergil bared his teeth as he let out a muffled whimper, tears forming at the edges of his eyes.

     The knob of the door jiggled, “Vergil?” the Dark Slayer flinched at the sound of your voice, even though it was soft and calm, “Vergil, are you okay?”

     He couldn’t come up with what to say in response, only whimpering again with a sad twitch of his lip. 

     Using an even softer tone, you set your head on the door, “Vergil… Let me in, please?”

     Despite his effort to come up with something, all he could muster was a loud voice crack as gripped the countertop.

     “Vergil,” you sighed quietly, “I want to see you. Please open the door,” an overwhelming amount of fear had consumed your mind; not for yourself, but over how Vergil might punish himself over this, “Please, Vergil…”

     “I-” he took a harsh breath trying to calm himself--and failing miserably, “What if I--” a crack began to form in the laminate countertop as his raw skinned fingers gripped harder and harder in growing frustration.

     “You won't; I promise.”

     After what seemed like an eternity, Vergil shut off the faucet and unlocked the door. You opened the door slowly and felt your heart sink at seeing your blue devil. 

     At the furthest point from the door, he was sitting on the floor, trembling heavily. Scalding red marks adorned his pale skin where he had been scrubbing and his fingers were no better. 

     “Vergil…” you approached him and saw his body stiffen, “Can I sit next to you?” 

     All he gave you was a small nod. Slowly, you moved next to him and sat beside him.

     Neither of you spoke for nearly a half hour. At one point, you managed to get a hold of one of his hands and intertwined your fingers; thumbing over the fading red marks. Internally, you were fighting the urge to hold him as close and as tight to you as possible.

     Vergil’s voice was nearly silent when he finally spoke, “I’m sorry.”

     “It’s okay--”

     “No,” he pulled his hand from yours and turned to stare at you, “No, it’s not okay,” with each word he got louder and held more frustration, “I could have--” he clenched his jaw as he scrunched his face, holding back his overwhelming storm of emotions, “I could have killed you!”

     “Vergil…” you decided to follow his idea and pivoted to face him fully, “I face death every day with work so it--”

     The blue devil snarled loudly, “I am not some mindless fucking demon,” he gripped his face with his hands, “I should be able to control myself!” tears began to slide down his face as he grimaced intensely, bearing his teeth in frustration.

     You were taken aback, you have never heard Vergil swear before, let alone sound so distraught, “I--” your lips pursed as you carefully chose your words, “I didn’t mean it like that, Vergil,” you gently set a hand on his knee, “I just meant that I’m used to that kind of thing, as morbid as that sounds.”

     A tremble reappeared through his lips, “You shouldn’t have to deal with that from me; it goes against everything I…” his mouth opened as if he were going to continue but no words came out.

     You were trying your hardest to stay calm despite wanting to join his crying upon seeing him this way. Tenderly, you thumbed over his leg, “When we got married,” you made sure to keep your voice slow and soft, “I signed up for whatever hardships may happen, to or from either of us--that we would figure things out together,” you noticed that Vergil’s stare had finally reconnected to yours, “no matter what the what happens."

     Vergil pursed his lips before taking a slow deep breath through his nose. His brow furrowed as he closed his eyes, slowly stopping his weeping, and removed his hands from his face. 

     A part of Vergil wanted to argue with you; to tell you that you're insane, delusional, that you shouldn't bear the punishment of his inner demons. The feeling of you grabbing his hands and holding them pulled him from his bitter thoughts. 

     Bringing one of his hands up to your lips, you kissed his knuckles, whispering against them, “I love you,” you brought the other hand up and repeated your action, “more than anything in the world, Vergil.”

     His grip tightened on your hands, “You are a fool," Vergil did his best to sound normal but only managed to give a small whispering whimper of a response. 

     “If loving you is foolish then I will happily play the court jester, my love,” a small smile tugged at your lips, hoping to make him feel a little better.

     After a brief moment of silence, Vergil released your hands and scooched closer to you, “May I see…” he meekly gestured at your neck.

     You nodded slightly and exposed your neck to the blue devil. The skin of your neck had already begun to darken and had small red petechiae marks. It was easy to tell that Vergil had used his hands on you because of the long slender lines of bruising; which ended in much darker spots where he had been pressing the hardest (except his thumbs). At the end of each dark spot were small needle-like marks that had dried blood on and around them. 

     Although you tried your best, you flinched at the feeling of his fingers ghosting your neckline. Vergil’s expression became increasingly distressed the longer he looked at you. Seeing this, you grabbed his other hand and held it tightly; hoping to provide some solace to him. 

     “It’s alright, Vergil, it’ll heal,” you whispered as he pulled his hand back from your neck.

     A small tremble found its way to his lips as he whispered back, “I am sorry.”

     “You do not have to apologize,” you grabbed his other hand and held it, “It is not your fault.”

     He paused for a moment before speaking, “We,” his voice cracked as he avoided your eyes, “We should get you cleaned up.”

     With a comforting grin and soft voice you thumbed over his fingers, “You sure you are okay to do that?”

     Vergil nodded, “I’ll be okay,” he pulled one of your hands to his lips and kissed it very gently.

==

     It wasn’t long before morning rolled around. Reluctantly, you had agreed to let Vergil stay in the living room for the night and you sleep in the bedroom, alone. 

     You woke up freezing as you had grown accustomed to the broiling body heat of your lover. With a loud groaning yawn, you swung your legs over the edge of the bed. As you walked to the bathroom, you felt a sudden sharp headache form. 

     Upon reaching the desired location, you noticed that the laminate countertop was cracked badly by Vergil gripping it.

     “Shit,” you grumbled.

     Your thoughts were cut off as you began feeling very off balance, leaning on the broken surface for support, before suddenly lurching forward into a kneel and throwing up in the toilet. During all your years of hunting, you knew what concussions felt like and this was definitely one of the worst ones you've ever had.

     “Fu-uck,” you sighed with a scowl slowly emerging on your features.

     Finishing up what you had originally gone in there to do--and making sure to brush and rinse the fuck out of your mouth--you left the room with a few painkillers in hand.

     The house was uncharacteristically silent as you wobbly meandered your way to the kitchen. Once at the sink, you poured yourself a glass of water and took the pills. With your hands resting on the edge of the sink, you slowly drank the rest of the water; doing your best to stay upright. The lukewarm water only helped to highlight the growing pain in your throat. 

     “Are you alright?” a voice called from your right.

     “Gah--!” you jumped slightly and dropped the cup in the sink--which was thankfully plastic. Then turned to see that it was Vergil, “You scared me, Vergil--" you took a deep breath trying to calm your heart, "I am fine, just a little sore is all.”

     His face softened as he cautiously pulled you into a close hug, “I’m sorry--is there anything I can do to help?”

     “This is exactly what I needed,” you leaned further into him and heard him purring quietly, “How are you doing, dear?”

     Vergil had a small smile as he whispered, “Much better now that I am with you.”

     The two of you held each other--swaying slightly--for what seemed like only mere seconds; when, in reality, it had been nearly a half hour. 

     Vergil nuzzled his cheek into the top of your head and spoke very quietly, “I hate to ruin the moment; however,” he pulled back from the hug enough to see you, “Dante requested us to come in early today.”

     You raised a brow, “Why?”

     “Morrison brought in a big contract; Dante requested that all of us be there for the briefing…” Vergil placed a hand on your face, not wanting to let you go.

     “Mmn, suppose I need to get ready,” you leaned into his palm and closed your eyes, and sighed, leaning out of the hug, “Best not to be late again."

==

      Both of you stood at the front door, debating on how you were getting to the DMC. Since you had a concussion, traveling with the Yamato was out of the question--last time you had traveled under the same circumstances, you almost threw up inside the portal and then proceeded to pass out once on the other side.

     “You sure you’re alright with this? I can just call an Uber or something,” you folded your arms and raised a brow.

      Vergil nodded, “I am fine with it; however if you aren’t then--”

     “No- no, it's fine just,” you tried not to laugh, “never thought 'flying via devil' would be something I’d do.”

     He grinned, “Perhaps we should travel this way more then.”

     “And here I thought you only used your trigger for emergencies,” you playfully teased.

     “This is an acceptable outlier,” Vergil laughed quietly. 

     With a bright flash of cornflower blue light, Vergil stood before you in his devil trigger.

     A warm smile adorned your face as you approached the black and blue devil, "I never knew the devil was so handsome,” your voice was laced with sarcasm as you placed a hand on his cheek.

     “Chivalry will get you nowhere, human, ” Vergil gently jested back, holding back a small laugh, “I will devour you whole.”

     “Oh no, whatever shall I do?” you dramatized your words; placing the back of your hand on your forehead and leaning back slightly, “Someone save me,” you did your best to stifle your laughter.

     He wrapped his wings around you and looked downwards at your expression, “No one will take you from me, pet. ”

     “I-” your lips were slightly agape as you tried to formulate a response--Vergil had never called you that before.

     However, he spoke before you could come up with anything, “What? Devil got your tongue?” he leaned in close, breath washing over your lips.

     “Mmn, no,” you moved your lips even closer to his, “I wish he did though.”

     Vergil cautiously connected with your lips. You moved your hands to the dark reddish-brown underside of the leathery appendages and slowly ran your fingers along the grooves. This elicited a moan from your blue devil and made him push himself against you harder. His fingers were trembling as he ghosted them along your sides, catching your attention.

     Breaking off the kiss but not moving away, you whispered against his lips, “You can touch me, Vergil. You won’t hurt me,” you used your hands to push his palms to your sides.

     His pupils dilated slightly, “Are you--”

     You cut him off with an aggressive kiss, placing your hand on his chest and kneading into him. Not wasting any more time, Vergil came back at you with an even more intense fervor. He pushed his tongue within the confines of your mouth. A muffled moan came from your lips as Vergil used his oral mastery inside your cavern; touching everything he could and playing with your tongue.

     After a minute or two, you both broke apart from the kiss. You smiled widely at him and placed a long sweet smooch on the tip of his nose; making him scrunch a bit in confusion. The two of you stood holding one another for a few minutes before you broke the serene silence. 

     “We should probably get going,” you sighed, “otherwise we won’t be making it to work…”

     The eldest son of Sparda sighed as well, “I suppose you are right…” he picked you up bridal style as you wrapped your arm around his shoulders, “Shall we?”

     You nodded as he opened the door. A sudden cold wind shot right through you as you leaned in closer to the hot-blooded devil. It was raining quite heavily so Vergil shifted you to face him completely; sheltering you the best he could from the elements, holding you underneath your thighs. With a small grunt from the devil, you two were off into the air.

==

     The flight wasn’t very long, you were at the DMC within a half hour; however, the rain had steadily gotten worse and made it a less-than-optimal flight. Vergil decided to land on the roof rather than risk being seen on the street and quickly ushered you indoors; fearing you would fall ill. 

     You took off your sopping wet coat and shook your head a bit, trying to dry off. Vergil had de-triggered and, because of how hot his devil trigger is, he was bone dry as he raised a brow at your “dog-like” actions.

     “What?” you looked up at him, giving him a curious smile.

     “Nothing,” he gave you a smirk in return.

     The two of you came downstairs, Vergil went first as you followed. Upon entering the foyer, you noticed that Vergil wasn’t kidding when Dante said “everyone”. Said red devil, Nero, Trish, Lady, and even Nico were inside the Devil May Cry; all chatting amongst themselves. 

     The younger twin noticed you both on the stairs and flashed a wide grin, “Glad you both could make it! Thought maybe you were going to sleep in-- Ah,” a small dagger from Vergil jabbed Dante in the arm.

     You pursed your lips and stifled your laughter, quietly speaking to Vergil, “Give me your coat? I’ll go hang it.”

     He stared at you from the corner of his eye for a moment before doing as you asked; delicately handing you the dark navy clothing. Vergil moved towards the bar counter to converse with Nero as everyone else resumed their conversations. With a small spring to your step, you waltzed over to the hooks near the front door and hung both your jackets. Pivoting on your heels, you went to move back into the room when you were stopped by Dante. 

     The red devil stood in front of you and used his forefinger and thumb to turn your head upwards; revealing the bruising on your neck. An aggressive furrow appeared on his brow as he frowned intensely.

     “Dante,” you whispered so that only he could hear you, “It’s not what you think--” his turquoise eyes locked with yours before he let go of your chin. It was too late.

     He turned around, “Alright,” Dante’s voice was between serious and pissed-off, a tone that was highly unlike the high-spirited brother, “What the fuck.”

     Vergil tilted his head ever-so-slightly and parted his lips in confusion, squinting at his twin.

     Dante made his way across the room, you followed him and tried to get him to stop, but were unable as he spoke even louder than before, “What is wrong with you?!”

     The blue devil’s face only became more confused as his eyes flicked between his brother and you.

     The red devil shoved Vergil, “Answer me, Vergil!”

     Fearing that the two would escalate into a larger fight, you grabbed one of Dante’s arms and tugged him away, straining your sore voice, “Dante you don’t understand-”

     Dante turned to you, “I think I know strangle marks when I see them,” his eyes went back to Vergil, “I'm tired of not saying anything.”

     With a slight sharpness, Vergil closed his eyes and scrunched his face, “What are you talking about?”

     “Don't play stupid,” Dante raised his voice even louder with a slight growl, “You think that I didn’t notice? Everyone here has noticed--fuck,” he flung his arm out, gesturing at nothing in particular, “even Morrison asked me about it!”

     “What does--”

     Dante's voice was unbearably loud as he yelled at his older brother, "You're fucking beating your husband, Vergil!” 

     The shop went silent. At this point, Nero had moved toward the couch the three ladies were sitting on, awaiting Vergil’s response.

     Your eyes widened at Dante and the absurd notion he had brought forth. Knowing Dante as you do, you had figured he was going to jab at Vergil for "being too rough in bed" or something stupid--not domestic abuse. With a slightly furrowed brow, you turned to the group next to you, then back to the brothers, and noticed Vergil’s pale stare. 

     Vergil huffed quietly through his nose as he looked downwards, pursing his lips in thought. After a moment, he looked back up at Dante with a cold glare, "Do you really think that lowly of me, Dante?"

     Dante cocked his head to the side, his voice still laced with a growl, "You know, after what you've done? Sorry, but I wouldn't put it past you."

     Vergil’s face was barren of any emotion--to everyone else besides you, that is. You’ve been in a relationship long enough with the stone-faced slayer that it was painfully obvious how much Dante’s accusation hurt him. Unable to think of what to say, he just stood there and glared at his twin. 

     "I ain't letting this go, Vergil. I'll stand here all fuckin--" a loud crack of thunder cut Dante off as the power went out in the shop.

     You weren't sure what happened, but the next thing you knew, you were on the floor and a sin-triggered Vergil was encompassing your surroundings. It was overwhelmingly hot as you felt his wings and arms tighten around you, pushing you further into his chest. The blue-grey devil shook wildly as a continuous thunderous growl emanated from deep within his chest. At any other point, it would have been a nice feeling; however, the loud sounds, sweltering heat, and the bright blue light from his chest made your headache turn from bad to agonizing. 

     Through the loud rumbling, you could vaguely make out Dante speaking; something about Vergil overreacting. Then you felt Vergil shift slightly and heard a loud yelp from the younger twin. There was a loud shuffling of hasty movement from the couch beside the two of you which made Vergil snarl even louder. 

     Lady could be heard telling Dante to “back off” of (presumably) Vergil. You then a loud creak of the garage door being opened and more shuffling feet. The last thing you heard from the rest of the crew was Nero saying something unintelligible and shutting the door. Leaving Vergil and you alone in the foyer. 

     This was the first time Vergil had done something like this and you were unsure how to calm him down; so you just slowly wriggled your hand free and kneaded into the bright blue lines of your lover’s chest, “Hey,” you whispered in hopes of catching his attention, “It’s alright, Vergil.”

     His growling quieted a bit, however, his grip tightened into an almost painfully tight vice.

     A small grunting groan left your lips as you spoke again, “Vergil, we are okay. I’m okay,” you heard his growling subside further, “It’s okay, darling. We are safe, inside the Devil May Cry,” you leaned your head into his chest and kneaded harder against him, “It was just thunder. It’s okay--we are okay.”

     You continued to intermittently tell the blue devil various forms of grounding statements as he slowly calmed down; loosening his grip and quieting his thundering growl. Although he doesn’t have to breathe when in this form, you heard soft whistling as he took small short breaths in through his sharpened teeth. His shaking had subsided as well; only moving with the reverberations of his small breaths. 

     A grin tugged at your lips as you heard a small distant start of a purr from your kneading, “It’s alright, my love. Nothing is going to harm us…”

     Finally, he pulled back from your body. He placed his palms flat on the floor next to you and kept his wings around you, just much looser now. His pupil-less luminescent eyes just stared at you, leaving you to assume he was looking over your body for any sign of injury. 

     Very carefully, you moved your hands to the sides of his face and gently thumbed over the leathery denim-colored skin, “Hey…”

     He leaned forward placing his forehead against yours and closed his eyes, showing you that he was coming back around. You placed a long tender kiss against his fangs and heard him purr louder. 

     As quiet as he could manage with his distorted voice, Vergil whispered to you, “Are you okay?”

     “I’m fine,” you smiled and gently jested, “head’s killin’ me though and the floors kinda cold” you laughed and moved your hands to the gap of skin between his shoulder pauldrons and neck, kneading with your fingers, “Are you alright, Vergil?”

     Vergil nodded slightly, “Yes,” feeling the soft touch of your fingers against him, he allowed himself to de-trigger; slowly switching to his regular trigger and then his human form. All the while, you continued to massage his shoulders and tried your best to ignore the throbbing in your skull; wanting nothing more than to rip your head off. 

     The blue devil’s breath was ragged and he avoided looking you in the eyes. When he went to sit upwards, you grabbed his forearms, gaining his attention, “Vergil,” your voice was barely audible.

     After waiting a moment, Vergil cocked his head slightly, “What is it?”

     “Could,” you pursed your lips with embarrassment, “Could you help me up?”

     Vergil nodded, “Of course.”

     The eldest twin stood up and then leaned forwards to help you upright. You stumbled into him as you felt nauseously lightheaded.

     Noticing this, Vergil held one of your arms, “Steady…”

     You used your other hand to grab his shoulder and did your best to adjust to standing. He looked over to the couch and then back to you; before slowly picking you up and setting you on the pleather surface. Not wanting him to leave you, you grabbed his tie and tugged it slightly. 

     “I will be right back,” he grabbed the hand from the tan fabric and kissed it gently; which surprised you because of his distaste for out-of-house affections. 

     It was then that you noticed how quiet the shop was and how dark it was; the power had gone out completely. A loud creak from the garage door made you scrunch your face in slight pain. Vergil stood in the doorway and said nothing before moving back to stand near Dante’s desk. 

     You noticed a large cut through Dante’s shirt and realized that Vergil had used his tail to defend you from the red twin. Thankfully, Dante could heal quickly otherwise it might have been a trip to the ER from how large the incision seemed to be.

     “So care to explain what the fuck that was?” Dante’s voice was loud, as normal; however, it felt like he was shouting right beside you.

     Vergil noticed your discomfort and addressed his brother, “Quiet, you are being much too loud,” he flicked his gaze to you, “and no; I don’t.”

     The younger twin’s face scrunched in irritation. Before he could speak, Lady cut him off by roughly slamming her hand atop his shoulder, “Maybe the two of you should go home for the day? Dante can text you the information later on.”

     “Are you sure?” Vergil raised a brow at the sudden personable suggestion, “Or would Dante rather yell more absurd accusations at me?”

     The red devil growled, forgetting to keep quiet, “You son of--”

     “Watch your tongue. Mother is right here,” he flicked his eyes to the photo on Dante’s desk.

     “I fuckin--”

     You scrunched your face harshly and hoarsely snapped, “Oh my g-god,” you groaned, “Vergil isn’t beating me and I have a fuckin major headache. I thank you for your concern Dante, but it is misplaced… so can you please just drop it?”

     The younger twin shook his head, “You expect me to--”

     “It is a result of my night terrors and we are dealing with it ourselves,” Vergil said curtly, despite not wanting to talk about it. Then turned to address Lady, “I think we will take you up on that suggestion and leave,” the blue devil moved to grab your coats from the wall “Keep us informed..?"

     No one responded as Vergil handed you your coat and you put it on as best you could while sitting. You wobbled a bit as you went to stand, but, a set of strong arms picked you up. A small blush found its way to your face as you realized Vergil was carrying you from underneath your thighs in front of everyone else.

     Nero was the only one to address either of you as you headed up to the stairs, “Fly safe; winds pretty bad out there.”

     Vergil nodded in thanks to his son as the two of you disappeared from view, heading to the roof. You nestled your face into the crook of Vergil’s neck, taking a deep calming breath. It didn’t take long for you to sleep--or rather pass out--in the blue devil’s arms and it stayed that way till you got home. 

==

     When you opened your eyes next, you were laying underneath the duvet of your shared bed. Slowly blinking awake, you mumbled, “Vergil?” and felt around to see if he was nearby. Nothing.

     A hissing groan left your lips as you sat up and looked at the alarm clock. It had been several hours since you left the shop. You stretched upwards and immediately regretted it.

     “Fuck,” you groaned as you grabbed your head with one hand, the headache from earlier surged back into existence. 

     In hopes to remedy this, you decided to try taking a hot bath. The moment you stood up, however, you fell forwards and just barely caught yourself with your forearms. A small laugh of disbelief escaped through your painful groan, it was really just not your day. 

     The sound of a familiar sharp voice calling your name pulled you from your thoughts. You slowly moved your head upwards and saw Vergil standing above you with a wide-eyed confused stare. He was wearing a space-blue sleeveless turtleneck with black yoga pants.

     Admittedly, you weren’t exactly in a normal headspace when you cooed at the blue devil, “Ooh! You’re even prettier at this angle, Vergil.”

     The blue devil crouched in front of you and rested his forearms on his legs, “I leave you for five minutes and you end up on the floor?”

     With parted lips and raised brows, you eyed him up and down, “Was my plan all along since, from here, I get a really good view of your--”

     Vergil put up a hand telling you to stop, pinching the bridge of his nose with a sigh, “Would you like help up?”

     “Nah,” you jested and rolled over to face the ceiling, “I like being stuck on the floor,” a sly smirk tugged at your lips as you tilted your head back, “especially when we’re--”

     “Enough,” Vergil sighed and moved to help you upright into a soft embrace. 

     You sighed and leaned into him, “You know I love you, right Vergil?”

     “Perhaps I should take you to the hospital, you are acting in a very concerning manner…” 

     “No way in hell am I going to the doctor,” you pulled back and had a small pout on your lips, “I just need you beside me and I feel much better…”

     “That seems rather counter-intuitive, don’t you think?” his voice had an outlying tinge of sadness as he looked down at you. 

     “Not in the slightest. In fact,” you moved your hands to his chest, “I already am starting to feel better in your arms.”

     He avoided your eyes and had a small sad frown. A deep sharp pang of sadness stabbed at your heart at seeing him look so dejected. 

     You used a hand to cup the cheek facing away from you and gently turned him back to face you, “Vergil, care to join me for a bath?” you knew that he was still beating himself up over things and wanted to distract him for a while.

     A soft huffed laugh came from his nose as he closed his eyes in slight confusion, “What..?”

     “Come on, you need a break… to relax,” you cocked your head to the side, “Please?” you gave him the best puppy dog eyes you could muster.

     Which seemed to do the trick as he sighed with a smirk “If that is what you want then I will accompany you.”

     You pulled his face down to yours and gave him a small peck on the cheek, “Thank you, Vergil.”

     Although the blue devil was hesitant to let you go, you eventually wander off with a very wobbly saunter. Slowly, you moved to the dresser and began to grab some clothing when you heard Vergil murmur, “I’ll go draw it up and I’ll be back for you; please try and stay upright,” then he left the room.

     Your headache had subsided for the most part and was just a dull throbbing now. However, you still wanted to lay with him for a while, knowing that he needed it as much as you did. A warm smile crept its way to your face as you moved toward the edge of the bed to sit until he came back. You decided to lean over to the side table and grab your phone, checking it for any messages. Surprisingly, Dante and Nero had texted you.

     The younger twin had sent a rather all-over-the-place paragraph explaining that he was sorry for the outburst in the shop and that he was just worried that something was going on. You sent Dante a text explaining that it was nice of him to worry but that, before he goes off, he needs to listen better.

     Nero was making sure that both of you were alright and that if either of you needed anything to let him know. 

     Before you were able to respond, Vergil walked back into the room, “Are you ready?” his voice was very quiet and meek; catching you off guard.

     “Yeah just gimme one second, just gotta send this…” Vergil looked at you with a slightly curious head tilt, you smiled at him, “Nero was just making sure everything was okay.”

     “I see,” Vergil gave a weak grin.

     “Nero’s worried about you,” you set the phone back down on the table and grabbed one of Vergil’s hands, “He’s a good kid, ya know? You’re one lucky dad.”

      With a small shake of his head, Vergil pulled you off the bed, “Need I remind you that he is technically your son, too?”

     You laughed and pursed your lips, “Sometimes I forget that part if I’m honest,” the two of you slowly made your way to the bathroom, “Especially since we are like the same age--you cougar,” with a playful wink you let go of Vergil’s hand to get undressed.

     Vergil’s face scrunched, “You make it sound as if I am too old for you.”

��    Playfully, you shoved his shoulder, “Bah- you don’t look a day over 30; besides,” you paused a moment as you watched Vergil remove his shirt, “I like older men~”

     “Those two statements contradict each other,” he noticed your gaze as he slid his pants off, “However, I appreciate the sentiment.”

     Once you both were fully stripped, Vergil helped you into the tub; fearing you would fall, “Hey, Vergil..?” he looked at you, “Can you sit in, like,” with pursed lips, you tried to figure out how to explain what you wanted, “in my lap? Like with your back to me?”

     “I-” he raised a brow and turned his lips to a thin line, “May I ask why?”

     A smile ghosted your face as you cooed, “I want to be able to play with your hair.”

     The blue devil was a little apprehensive at allowing such an action, but he did as you requested; positioning himself in front of you. His shoulders tensed up at the sudden feeling of vulnerability and being so exposed to you--even if the two of you have been together for a long time now. Noticing this, you gently wrapped your arms around his middle and leaned him back into you while you leaned back yourself; ending up in a semi-lying position. 

     Tenderly, you ran your fingers through his neatly slicked back locks, “You alright, Vergil?”

     With a small stuttering inhale, Vergil rested further against you, “Yes…”

     A faint purring came from the blue devil as he relaxed against your touch. The two of you just sat in the warm soapy water for nearly fifteen minutes, laying against each other. 

     Vergil shifted a bit to lay the side of his head on your chest before meekly whispering, “I love you,” typically, this would have made you ecstatic hearing him say such a thing; but there was an underlying sullen tone to the phrase. 

     You moved one of your hands to grab his while keeping up your ministrations through his hair, “I love you too, Vergil--more than anything.”

     “May I ask you something? And I want you to answer me honestly,” his eyes were glued to your fingers that were intertwined with his own.

     “Sure,” you removed your fingers from his hair and set that hand on his shoulder.

     “Are,” with each word his voice became quieter, “Are you afraid of me?”

     “No,” you answered without skipping a beat, “I will never be afraid of you, no matter what...”

     Another bout of silence fell as you felt him lean harder into you while taking slow deep breaths.

     “May--,” the Dark Slayer closed his eyes and spoke in a hushed voice, “May I confide in you for a moment?”

     “Of course, my love,” you leaned and kissed the top of his head attempting to reassure the man. 

     He sighed and turned further into your chest, hiding his face, “N-Nothing scares me more than causing you pain,” you felt his brow furrow, “These past few months, have been spurred on by a combination of that fear and,” he had a lump begin to form in his throat, “and my time spent under Mundus’s…” he swallowed audibly in an attempt to deter his emotions.

     You squeezed his hand tightly and you moved your other hand back to his hair, hoping to console him a bit. 

     Which worked, he took a shuddering breath and continued, “In my dreams--” he pursed his lips and unintentionally pushed himself as hard as he could into you, “I’m always back as- and I can’t,” he paused once more, realizing that this is much harder than he had anticipated, “control myself and I-I don’t know that it’s-- until it’s too late,” his voice cracked into silence as he gripped your hand in a vice hold. 

     That was enough for you to put together what he meant as your eyes widened. You whispered and moved your hand from his hair to his shoulder, holding him close, “Vergil…” you didn’t know what to do--how to help him.

     All you could think to do was to hold him close and comfort him as he cried into your chest. You knew that he had nightmares about his time of being enslaved to Mundus and the other atrocities that have happened to the poor blue devil. Throughout your time together, Vergil had told you about that time and has even sought comfort in you when he was upset. 

     A meek whisper pulled you from your thoughts, “I’m sorry,” he sighed heavily, “I know this is substandard behavior.”

     “Vergil,” you kneaded his bicep, “This is normal behavior, you don’t have to be strong all the time,” placing a soft kiss on the top of his head, you murmured, “You’re human--you have emotions; both good and bad.”

     “I feel as if I have disappointed you,” despite his sad tone, a light purring could be heard from him--indicating he was at least comfortable.

     “You could never disappoint me, Vergil--especially over something like this. Things take time to heal and even then they still leave scars; you aren’t to blame for what has happened, my love.”

     “I do not understand how after what I have done in my lifetime,” his voice cracked with a tinge of frustration as he sat upright. His front side was facing out of the tub toward the innards of the room,  leaving you to see his side profile, “Why you still believe me to be a good person…”

     “Vergil,” you moved to sit up as well, no longer resting your back on the tub, “I don’t believe that you are a good person; I know you are a good person,” you watched his adam’s apple bob up and down as he swallowed his emotions again, “I wouldn’t have married you if I didn’t.”

     A thin pained grin adorned his features as he turned his face from you; hiding the fact he had begun to cry once more.

     “People do bad things,” you shrugged your shoulders a bit in thought, “that doesn’t make them a bad person. Traumatic experiences make people do things that otherwise might not have.” you paused and thought for a moment, “Vergil, you have been punished ten-fold by everyone your entire life, even for things that you had no control over. Which is total shit. You deserve to be treated well and like a living breathing person. I know you are a good person because you have shown me that many times over; you are worthy of love, Vergil.”

     Vergil let out a loud shuttering exhale and turned his head to look at you with pursed lips. He wanted to say something, anything, but all he could muster was a small whimper of acknowledgment. 

     Moving to your knees, you spoke softly, “Is there anything that I can do to help you with these nightmares?”

     “I,” after a small pause in thought, he turned to come face to face with you and grabbed your hands in his, “Could you promise me something?”

     “Anything.”

     “If we get into any altercations with,” he avoided your eyes with an increasing embarrassment eating the edges of his mind, “Angelo-type demons, please, leave them to me; please..?”

     Your brow twitched in confusion as you cocked your head to the side; that’s when things clicked and you remembered what happened shortly before these terrors began, “Sure, if that is what brings you solace then I will,” you smiled, trying to make him feel a little better.

     “Thank you,” his eyes re-connected with yours and he gave a small smirk.

     The two of you sat for a brief moment before you pursed your lips and smiled semi-awkwardly, “I hate to ruin the moment, but could we get out of the water? I’m kinda cold…”

     Vergil straightened his posture and nodded, “Of course, wanderer,” he moved to get out of the water and held his hands out for yours.

     You grabbed them and wobbly got up, “Oh? I haven’t heard you use that in a long time.”

     A small huffed laugh came from the blue devil as he handed you a towel, “It was the first nickname I gave you. I thought it appropriate for the moment…”

     “It was wasn’t it?” you shook your head, “That feels like a lifetime ago…”

     “In a sense, it was quite literally,” he leaned over and drained the tub.

     With a small laugh and nod, you finished drying off. While the two of you got dressed, you couldn’t help but smile at the sight of your lover. 

     “Is something wrong?” Vergil noticed your stare.

     Pursing your lips you thought for a moment and decided to indulge in his love for Blake’s poems, “ 'Joy & Woe are woven fine,/A Clothing for the Soul divine;/Under every grief & pine,/Runs a joy with silken twine.' "

     An amused look adorned his face as he stood with parted lips thinking for a moment, “Auguries of Innocence?” the Dark Slayer cupped the side of your face, “We never did finish that poem; you’d always fall asleep.”

     “Not my fault you have such a soothing voice,” you placed your hands on his chest and leaned into his palm, “Want to try again?”

     He leaned against your forehead, “If it is alright with you, I think I’d rather sleep…”

     “Only if you stay beside me,” you looked into his icy eyes; enamored with the thousands of different blue-grey hues, “please..?”

     “Are you sure-- Mnm,” he was cut off by a sudden connection of your lips.

     It was a slow and passionate kiss as you poured all the love you could into that one moment. Once satisfied, you left the kiss and whispered against his lips, “I wouldn’t have it any other way, Vergil.”

     Without another word, he picked you up and took you into the bedroom. Carefully, he set you down and crawled into bed with you. A small lingering sense of dread crept in from the edges of his mind; however, those were pushed away when you laid atop his chest. You curled into him and he tangled his limbs with yours.

     As the two of you drifted off to sleep, Vergil had a very small content grin as he allowed himself to sleep; knowing that, at least for tonight, his terrors will be kept at bay. 

==

Ending Notes: Sorry that was lowkey all over the place, I just went with the flow of my brain. It kind of just ended up being a long fluff fic.  Also to add some explanation to Vergil’s bit where he swore and freaked out: I figure that when Vergil lost his autonomy for so long as Nelo Angelo, he ended up becoming hyper-aware of what he is doing at all times. So when he does something that he either can’t remember doing or didn’t want to do that it would send him into a panic; fearing that he is going to lose his freedom again. 🛡️⚔️🛡️ Poem quoted:      Auguries of Innocence: William Blake

==

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[haldenlith]

Two thoughts on reading the Unforseen Consequences loretab:

Big Yikes, Oh no.

... Really? Cayde's what he wishes he could change? Not the "I waged a genocidal campaign against my own people" part?

Anyway, further elaboration under cut:

On the first item, I'm going "OH NO!" because the last time Crow wished for something (unwittingly) with Riven around, shit went south extremely fast for him (and everyone around him), and the loretab's title does not help with that worry.

And before anyone goes, "but he was just talking to Mara" -- no honey, that wasn't Mara. The "O, brother mine" gave it away. Honestly, I'm almost surprised Crow doesn't have PTSD with that particular phrase, given that Riven has said it to him before when she was posing as Mara.

I've seen people lamenting how Mara and Crow interacted in the loretab, so that's what drove me to go give it a read, and at first I was like "ugh, Crow got cool with her awfully quick" (which I still feel) and "oh of course Mara only has regrets because her plans didn't go her way," BUT THEN they had to put in the "O [noun] mine", which is explicitly an ahamkara thing. Not gonna lie, I immediately went back up and reread stuff and went "OH SHIT" when I saw that Crow did indeed say the phrase "I wish."

As we all know, just about every ahamkara wish functions in a monkey paw fashion -- there is always either a cost to the wish, or a drawback, an "unforseen consequence", if you will. While I'm curious what that would be with regard to bringing Cayde back, I'm exceedingly worried about Crow now. Riven has twisted him up and broken him to pieces before. Hell, I think that's why she appeared here. She's the big cat that sees the canary she ate last time, and sadly that canary is still not wise to her tricks.

As an aside, if this is indeed the reason Cayde comes back in Final Shape, I will be a tiny smidge disappointed. I liked the idea of him being our Vergil, our guide through Hell, brought back by a last gasp of the Traveler or something. I just felt like that symbolism was more fitting.

Speaking of Cayde, the second note is where this gets a bit ranty. That point feels so hamfisted. I get that Crow would have regrets and shame about killing Cayde, especially since that's been why Guardians (and Amanda) treated him poorly. It's the "loudest" consequence of his actions as Uldren Sov. However, it's far from the worst thing he did. In fact, I think it's probably the most unremarkable item, in the grand scheme of things.

(Also, arguably, the Scorn were more responsible for Cayde's death -- the one guy is the one that killed Sundance, afterall, which is the entire reason Cayde got beat up and put in the situation to begin with.)

Uldren had a reign of fuckin' terror across the Reef before he even went into the Prison of Elders with his merry band of Barons. And then he continued it after breaking out, torching Mara's throne, putting many Corsairs to death, and causing a great deal of havoc. There's a reason Petra had an axe to grind with him, and it wasn't because he shot Cayde. It was because he betrayed his people to the absolute nth degree.

And what actually really gets my goat that the thing Crow would want to change being "not killing Cayde", is that we know how much he loved his people. He was severely not okay when he worked under the House of Kings raiding the Reef. It's mentioned how wracked with guilt he is over attacking Awoken. It took Riven posing as Mara and scrambling his grief (and Black Garden corruption) addled brain to make him okay with it. So it's just bizarre to me that as Crow, he'd sit back and look at all of that bullshit he committed and go "yeah killing Cayde was the line in the sand and the worst thing, yup yup."

Not to mention the whole "let me team up with the Scorn and kill everyone" thing was the actual first domino in the chain of shitty things he did in his downfall-arc, which led to killing Cayde, but okay, whatever...

Making it about Cayde feels super forced. Like sure, we The Player care most about Cayde, not about stuff that happened off-screen, but as far as the character that is Crow is concerned, I just feel like it doesn't fit him to pick that particular event (when forced to pick one thing). Granted, I feel like Crow would honestly not want to pick -- he'd want to fix everything, because he's a guilt-ridden sweetheart like that, but still.

[spardas-last-braincell]

(Vergil begun experiencing heavy boughs of gender dysphoria after somehow managing to survive into his teens while living on the streets. He never dwelled on the topic much growing up, too busy attempting to find Dante, snatch something eat or a place to sleep.

Not till puberty hit him like a stop sign and a few gross encounters by creepy strangers/predatory adults caused a spiral of self discovery. His body was different from how he felt or saw himself. Combined that with some PTSD and all the lovely things a teenager usually experiences. Vergil will admit he went off on the deep end after a particularly distressing encounter at 15.

Attempting to solve one of his many growing issues had been by giving himself top surgery. Or in blunt terms just gave a panicked hack job with Yamato. Of course the "procedure" did not stick the first, second or third attempt since Sparda blood has a habit of giving a great healing factor. Vergil kept self mutilating in his momentary trigger of Psychosis till he either exhausted himself or when the action finally- FINALLY stuck. Obviously there were no doctors who would preform such a surgery, nor did he have anything but Yamato and the hazardous clothes on his back as forms of payment. As a result there are some sensation issues, nasty scarring and occasional but rarely addressed chest aches.)

[icycoldninja]

Can u write the DMC men with a reader with haphephobia? It’s the fear of being touched or touching

The boys always initiate the physical touches but never the reader as she’s always reluctant to even return the gesture by awkwardly patting their back, patting their cheeks weakly and never seems to initiate kisses as it’s always one sided. This saddens them because they thought the reader doesn’t love them but that change when one night before they slip into sleep, she brushes their hair strand as she kisses their forehead

This is the only time she actually initiate some form of physical touches with them so one night, they pretend to go to sleep, waiting for her to do that again before asking her why

Turns out not only she’s painfully awkward and shy to the point the thought of initiating such things makes her feel embarrassed for herself, it’s also because in a large part of her childhood, her parents never initiate physical touches so that feeling feels incredibly foreign to her. It also stems from her low-self esteem; the fact that touches makes her feel overwhelmed and unpleasant because of sensory issues. It also does not help when she got jumped by devils all the time from the back, which can explain why the fastest way to get knocked out, is to suddenly hug her from behind, triggering her PTSD and anxiety

I most certainly can! Enjoy!

Sparda boys + V x Haphephobic!Reader headcannons

¤ Dante ¤

-Dante is a big hugger, so he's always trying to touch you in one way or another.

-You hardly ever reciprocating his efforts make him rather sad. Was he doing something wrong? Not doing enough, perhaps?

-He doesn't want to upset you by invading your personal space, but he needs kisses! Why won't you give him kisses?!

-He finds out that your reluctance isn't because of something he's doing, it's because of your past. Those little moments when you play with his hair while he's supposedly asleep mean the world to him now.

-He asks you why you do this eventually; your response turns out to be even darker than he thought. A lack of physical contact in your early years plus low self esteem was a bad combination. Time to fix that.

-He doesn't rush things, but Dante tries to incorporate some form of light contact into everything you do together, stopping if you start to panic. He wants to help you, but he knows to stop when you get overwhelmed.

■ Vergil ■

-Vergil has never been a very touchy person, so you being the same came as no surprise to him.

-Still, he does appreciate cuddles every now and then, and was sorely disappointed when you wouldn't initiate them.

-He decided not to bother you about it and just carried on with his life, when one day, when insomnia got ahold of him, he discovered you often played with his hair at night.

-This had to be the only time you ever touched him willingly. It made him feel all warm and fuzzy on the inside. He let you continue for a few weeks, blissfully ignorant to his secret observations, before finally asking why you hardly ever touched him save for when he was asleep.

-You were a bit taken aback when you learned he knew, but decided to reveal the truth anyway. You had issues with physical contact because you just weren't used to it, and you had several harrowing experiences with demons in the past, so you liked to keep your guard up.

-Vergil understood, and leaves you to your devices because he knows that someday you'll be comfortable enough to touch him on your own.

□ Nero □

-Nero doesn't get why you're so physically closed off, but he knows enough to not bother you.

-Maybe once in a while he'll give you a peck on the cheek or something like that, but not much else since he knows it bothers you.

-At some point, he awakens in the middle of the night, only to find you sweeping strands of hair away from his face. That's adorable, he thinks, as he falls back asleep.

-A little later, he decided to inquire about this apparent habit of yours since it's the only time you ever willingly touch him.

-You reply with a rather blunt statement explaining your haphephobia and where it comes from.

-Concerned for you and sympathetic to your pain, Nero wants you to let him know if you need anything, no matter how silly you might think it is. He won't force you to hug him or anything, always asks before he touches you, and makes sure to comfort you in ways that don't require touches.

● V ●

-V only tries to cuddle and hold you all the time because he wants to show his love for you.

-Your constant refusals make him sad, but if this is what you want, he won't stop you.

-He mopes about it a lot, but tries not to let it show whenever you're around. Griffon tries to cheer him up, but Griffon isn't you. Only you can help him.

-Accidentally waking up at night and discovering you gently pushing his hair away from his supposedly slumbering face made his night. It showed that there was hope after all--that you weren't going to physically isolate yourself forever.

-A few months ago, he decided to ask you why you behaved the way you did. Your response was heartbreakingly tragic, but it made V realize he was being a bit selfish.

-From then on, he no longer moped. You love him with all you are, that much has been proven; your reluctance to hold him is something personal, something you must deal with yourself. He can only guide you along that healing path.

[upon-blades-twilight]

: ̗̀➛ 𝗛𝗢𝗪 𝗗𝗢𝗘𝗦 𝗬𝗢𝗨𝗥 𝗠𝗨𝗦𝗘 𝗙𝗜𝗚𝗛𝗧?

BOLD what APPLIES ┊ Italicize what sometimes applies Adding: Blue for Vergil | Red for Red Vergil \ Ouro | Purple for both

fight honorably / fight dirty / prefer close-quarters / prefer range / chat during / go silent / low pain tolerance / high pain tolerance / attack in bursts / attack steadily / go for the kill / aim to disarm / fight defensively / bait an opponent’s first strike / strike first / provoked easily / provoke their opponent / tease / get visibly frustrated / shout while attacking / use strategy / focus on their battle / experience conflicting thoughts during battle / rush in recklessly / try to read their opponent before fighting / fight wildly / fight calmly apathetically / fight with anger / fight with excitement / fight because they have to / fight because they want to / fight without regard to wounds / run away when wounded / hide wounds / take a blow to protect another / prefer a blade / prefer a gun / prefer a bow / prefer a shield / prefer a spear naginata / prefer a personalized weapon / prefer magic or spells / prefer brawling / their greatest weakness is physical / their greatest weakness is mental / their greatest weakness is emotional / transform for battle / fight as they appear / rely on strength / rely on speed / use everything they have / hide their full potential / exhaust quickly / high stamina / doubt their strength / proceed with caution / behave arrogantly / brag after landing a hit / belittle their abilities / use psychological tactics / use brute strength / avoid civilians / strike down civilians / damage surroundings / avoid damaging surroundings / signature fighting style / making it up as they go / mastered skillset / learning their skillset / fancy footwork / sloppy footwork / messy fighter / elegant fighter / accept defeat / refuse defeat / beg for mercy / compliment their opponent / insult their opponent / use unnecessary movements ( flips, twirls ) / move efficiently / barely move / prefer to dodge / prefer to block / defend their blindside / has no blindside / use all available advantages / strictly use one main method / play around / hold back / fight ruthlessly / show mercy / wait for opponent to be ready / strike when opponent isn’t ready / fear death / fear pain / fear killing / has PTSD / avoid fighting / has lost a fight / has won a fight / has killed / refuses to kill / want to die standing / would succumb slowly

TAGGED BY @blxxditout TAGGING @free-hugs-from-dante @asriel-rose @hauntedreality and whoever may be interested! 💙