#venting here is my favorite way of coping

[cyberluvzu]

Toby angst (kind of)

.・。.・゜✭・

Toby has extreme attachment issues. I'm talking will not leave you alone at all and to a certain extent it maybe (definitely) is unhealthy.

He'd be like this to his friends and partner. With his friends it's more of an "I don't want to share my favorite people" kind of feeling and he gets jealous quickly. If he's not too upset about it and is on the lower scale of the jealousy meter then he'd probably feel upset and try to forget about it after a while so he no longer feels that way. He'd might also slip in a sassy remark or just pure shade at the person or people his friend is hanging out with.

With his partner it's different, more obsessive and overprotective. He doesn't want you to leave him, he needs you with him. You don't respond to a text? He's completely freaking out and wondering if you're ignoring him or if you're losing feelings. He'd completely flip the fuck out but not express it to you in an angry way because he doesn't want you to feel bad. Of course something will slip out and he'd somehow blab or accidentally make a snide comment. It gets especially bad if you're hanging out with friends and not paying attention to him at all. He instantly goes to "am I not good enough" and "do I need to do more for them?".

He feels unwanted to an extent. He feels like you'd rather be with them instead of him and it makes him violently upset. However he can't quite put it into words so he just sits there and wallows in the mix of overwhelming sadness, anxiety, and anger. He doesn't want to tell you how he feels because when he does share his emotions he feels embarrassed to a certain extent, partly because of how horribly he was treated as a child, and partly because he has trouble communicating his feelings.

He can't quite put it into words, of course he wants you and loves you dearly, but he feels hurt and irrational. He wants you and only you, but he also wants to push you and everyone he knows away so he can sit and stay in this sad state of mind. He craves you and your comfort but refuses to ask for it.

｡･:*:･ﾟ★,｡･:*:･ﾟ☆

A/N: Sorry for not posting, life has been FUCKING ME SIDEWAYS. Also this was like lwk a vent post because I am going THROUGH IT RN and feel like crap. I will probably be here more because writing helps me cope :)

[bumblebee-be]

ignore 🫶

[veloriium]

its so nerve-wracking when u cant get ur anger out in the only way you know how bc now wtf am i gonna do? face my emotions? fuck

[navillee]

HIII i really love your writing and i really want to request you this ^^ seeing your recent post about dawnbreaker zayne made me think that...i would love to see some dawnbreaker zayne and mc angst from you 🫣

Since English isn't my first language, I'm delighted to read that. Dawnbraker Zayne angst here we go!

I miss her. That was Zayne's conclusion as he walked by the empty streets, where no soul could be seem. How can he miss someone he has never met before? The old and almost destroyed Linkon tourist's guide kept on his hands as he wandered on a ghost city, by the time forgotten, hoping he could savor glimpses of someone who wasn't there anymore. To hunt memories, so he can repeat to himself that, at least, in another life, he was happy;

The dreams started when he was a way younger. He thought it was just his brain's way to cope with his burden, but when the same pattern repeated itself over and over again throughout the years, Zayne knew there couldn't exist such coincidence. So he became obsessed.

He searched on every data about his other self. How life was before, when the pre stage wanderers weren't such a treat to society as now. The hospital, the hunter's association, the establishments he used to visit, and most importantly of all: you;

He thought he wasn't envious of his doctor version at first. Dawnbraker was able to deal with the lack of family since he never had one or even friends and a healthy life structure in general. But you. Oh, you. The girl in the dreams with the bright personality and warm tone of voice. Dawnbraker felt envious for the first time when that voice called his name. He knew it wasn't his name, and it hurt;

He bought your favorite candies and put them at his half empty apartment. He even bought flowers in an illusionary attempt to bring you closer, in hopes you would show up. But you didn't exist in his world. It comforted him to do it, though. It was his ritual before he went to sleep. If he kept you alive in his mind during the day, you would grace him in his dreams;

It was so fucking unfair. The way he kept a diary of his dreams at the bed table besides his bed to engrave every detail of you was fucking unfair;

He even did portraits of you — the drawing ability he discovered his doctor version also had — because he got terrified, thinking that all of sudden the dreams could come to an permanently end, and he would never be able to see you again;

From that desperation came the avaricious felling of rights upon his other self. He wanted as much time with you as he could get. Dawnbraker's dreams had become his drug;

It was like day and night had switched positions. Dawnbraker Zayne was performing during the day, surviving every second of it. He started to kill the humans before they could turn into wanderers like they were just numbers. It wasn't real after all. No, it was just a bad nightmare that he would wake up from, in Linkon, embraced in your loving arms and sweet voice. He rejected his life, believing that was his right to possess Doctor Zayne's one;

He needed his fix. He needed desperately every night. When he didn't get it, he became reckless, killing to vent his anger, killing in revenge at the universe for giving him this miserable existence. He killed almost for joy;

When two weeks passed by without any dreams, he went a step further into his addiction. One pill. Just one to make dawnbraker Zayne sleep properly and get to his other self. He swallowed it, taking two sips of water. His head hurted, and his hands trambled. But it was functional. Dawnbraker fell into a deep slumber;

It worked amazingly. The pill helped to keep his staying with you more vivid. Even though he couldn't feel physically what Zayne felt, he could see your face clearly now. It wasn't a blury dream. You were so perfect, every detail, walking on the rain together, the sound of the droplets of rain hitting the umbrella mixing with your laugh. Zayne wanted to cry. Would you notice his tears in the rain? You both were soaked, you and him apparently stopped by the convenience store to buy an umbrella;

You were holding some shopping bags and a bouquet of flowers, the same flower he has bought back in his world. He felt glad you received them in this universe. Dawnbraker felt guilty. Has Doctor Zayne noticed the flowers on the counter while he stayed in his world?

After that wonderful dream, Dawnbreaker faced his fall. It started with one pill that turned into two in only a spare of weeks, then three. He killed half human beings, then he drugged himself to the life he could save those people. To where he has a perfect life, when he was looked to as a person, not a feared shadow living in the corner;

He remembered to left hints on his apartment to the other Zayne from that night on. Flowers, movie tickets from the movies released back then, some not too revealing notes... some revealing ones;

One day, he arrived at his apartment with an injury on his arm. He had seen so much blood that day, spilled so much blood. His blood and innocent's too. Dawnbraker felt an excruciating pain. He felt totally abandoned in the universe;

In order to forget the pain consuming him, he swallowed all the remaining pills left on the bottle. He didn't have much time, so he send a message to the only number he had registered on his phone since that little boy accident, and also placed one item on his bedside table as he always did, so his other self would capture what he wanted Zayne to do, and he slept;

Dawnbraker found himself in the corridor to your apartment, his heart pounding on his chest like he wanted desperately to live. He stumbled at the open door's frame, rushing into your living room, finding you there, safe and sound, his pretty girl, as always. Dawnbraker wanted to cry again, and this time, he let himself;

"Zayne? What happened? Is everything okay?" You came rushing to him, and this time, he couldn't hide the surprise. On this dream, he was able to feel your touch;

He crumbled on his own weight, falling on his knees in front of you, his eyes sparkly with crystal clear tears washing over his face, pupils stagnated on you. As you brushed his tears off, he placed both his hands on top of yours, nuzzling his face against your warmth, felling you for the first time;

"Hard day at work?" You asked, and he sobbed, hands trembling as he tried to stop the tears. So you hugged him. With any word needed, you just stayed with him, the man's big frame hidden in your neck crook, warm tears running down your skin as you keep a tender scratch on his hair's scalp;

"S'okay Zayne, I'm here for you. I'll always be here for you." She coped his face with both hands, touching both foreheads together, and kept caressing her thumbs on his face. "I love you. And there's nothing in this universe able to change that."

Doctor Zayne woke up at the infamous, almost empty apartment, almost screaming in pain. What had happened? Why was he there? His head was spinning, he was sweating, and as soon as he raised his head to check on himself, he was also bleeding. The bedsheets were soaked in blood;

Zayne tried to get out of bed to serch for medical supplies in order to staunch the bleeding. But he failed when he computed the actual condition of his counterparts arm: it wasn't human anymore;

Then, Doctor Zayne remembered the uncountable notes left to him by himself from that sick reality: "Wanderers. Infectious danger." Then he understood. It was his worst nightmare, the last one;

He made a colossal effort to try to get off bed. There's need to be a solution, a way out to save himself from that destiny. Then, he stumbled his hand on a little item left on the side bed table. He groaned in pain on the process to bring the object closer to his sight;

It was a little box. His last item was a set of rings. Engagement ones;

Dawnbraker Zayne opened his eyes, meeting your tender gaze, too flabbergasted to even speak. His body just leaned, seeking more of your warmth. You understood him and his cowardice, so you simply leaned the remaining amount of millimeters between both lips, kissing him again and again and again. "No need to worry. I'm gonna take care of you today, okay?" You said, making tears run down his eyes. "You...promise?" Dawnbraker asked, his throat aching for trying to hold his happy tears;

"Off course I promise! I'll always take care of you, Zayne." She smiled again. After a terrible life, Dawnbreaker felt loved. He pulled you for a last kiss. "Thank you. I'll always love you, no matter when or where. Remember that."

Blurred by tears, Dawnbreaker's vision faded away from that reality into nothing. But while he took the last look at you, all passionate and feelings love, he couldn't be envious anymore, because he was once, loved by his dream girl, he was at least once, truly happy. Dawnbreaker finally could fell peace;

Delirious by the pain, the last thing Doctor Zayne could hear was someone kicking the front door, presenting themselves as police. Before his bedroom door was broken entirely down, he placed the ring box near his chest, clenching his grip around it;

Doctor Zayne opened his eyes again to meet yours. The pain had vanished, and he returned to his world. As you kissed all over his face, he smiled, hugging you tightly as tears ran down his face. That was his last nightmare as Dawnbreaker, and Doctor Zayne would make sure to fulfill his last wish;

Just then, one day, Zayne would also give his last breath beside the woman he loved dearly.

E N D

[ghostymarni]

didn’t want to grief post on this thread, so just venting here for my own piece of mind

digital holonet entry 112824 0714hours

I’ve been on and off coping as grief does, but after seeing that post about not thinking too long about crosshair just reminded me how much I’ve kinda been avoiding drawing him.

I know I recently had a similar conversation with Lupe about this. He will always be favorite overall, but my vision for cross has artistically changed so many times because I think deep down it’s a grief truth for me that I’m struggling with. I have so many crosshair drawings I never posted because they’re just SAD. I didn’t want to turn this to a depression blog so I refrained from posting or deleted those from here.

My husband passed this summer more suddenly than I’d like to think about. He was watching season 3 without me because I was too busy with work at the time. But rewatching it after he passed had me instant hone in on crosshair + connecting the loss of my husband with the loss of tech; which gave a different part in my grief acceptance + a secondary obsession with the brilliant minded clone. It’s a reminder to hold onto everything we created and did, + to always keep thinking about him.

Crosshair returning with his brothers + not having tech there feels twice as suffering knowing what their last interaction was like. And an even deeper personal meaning knowing I see my husband in everything. In our life around us, in how I choose things, how I respond to things. (Which we see + are reminded of that tech is apart of everyone he ever met)

Self regret that we didn’t have time to have a proper last moment. It just ended. Just because you choose to accept they knew you loved them, + vise versa, doesn’t make it easier than you’ll never have them around anymore.

Which with grief, digs the vibro-blade a little deeper because you never know when your last interaction with someone is.

watching how each of them take the notion of what tech would do, picking up where he would take over. I would imagine it would catch crosshair off guard, hearing tinkering to certain data pad beeps, only to look up + see Echo fixing something, or Omega typing away. Because I literally do this with sounds I associate with my late husband.

That feeling never goes away for a loved one. His brother, his batch twin. But omega is a huge part of that healing. And she has been a huge part in mine connecting her with my kid who isn’t giving up on me + needs me. Simple intended motions go such a long way. And the scene were they’re meditating hits hard for me.

Even more so when I’m constantly shaking out my own hand to keep it under control. It’s never easy when it hits, but every scene of cross trying to get his tremors under control, is something I do more often than I care to admit. I just have to keep going.

Not seeing tech with omega, is like realizing I won’t ever see my husband with our son growing up. He’s young, + it feels more unfair. And that hurts. Crosshair is such a dynamic clone + his guilt + hurt reaches out to many people in so many different ways. Which is why I can’t think too long about him either, but he will always be my favorite overall because I see him as me.

From grief, trauma, hand tremors, loss. (if I’m being honest, I’m pretty decent at shooting actual long range rifles) there’s so much to crosshair I personally relate to, and not just his attitude haha!

Crosshair didn’t see his brother fall, but he watched another brother die in his place. An older brother that taught him a lesson he didn’t realize he needed to know until it was too late. We confirmed that from his retaliation of shooting an imperial officer, + when they returned to the deserted base; he instantly moves to set up the memorial buckets as Mayday did. A reminder of the fallen, a reminder that they existed + lived.

A lesson I have to remind myself everyday.

So what I guess I’m also trying to convey, while I see myself as crosshair, despite the grief, the false fight some days, I’ve never felt so alone than having my soulmate gone. Going from a life of fun, banter, + life for granted, to solitude and what feels like isolation.

the clone community really gave me a second chance. At me. At reconnecting with myself, my art, my humor + wit. The friendships I’ve made + are continue to make really are giving me a new fight and a new reason to just keep going.

I never share for sympathy, I don’t want to be put in a “do not interact zone”. That’s the opposite of what I need or want. I just wear my heart on my sleeve + find comfort in just being honest about struggles + how we strive to move on.

as our boy hardcase (+ echo) quote, what I try to embrace:

“LIVE TO FIGHT ANOTHER DAY”

[gyarustarrr]

LORE LORE LORE!!!🗣️🗣️🗣️ (This is super long and my English is horrible for a native speaker so bear w me)

ILL BE REAL I DIDNT PUT MUCH THOUGHT INTO A REASONABLE BACK STORY but bcuz shes a self insert i had to make a mention for my bestie who can EASILY be in the pressure universe fr <3

Pre-lockdown: I think itd be unique that if Sebastian was used to give humans gills then Phanny can be used to find immortality cuz who doesnt love when a corrupt corporate entity tries to find the cure for death, happens all the time lol. I say for the important parts shes fused with an immortal jellyfish, my favorite jelly which im extreme jelly of 😼😼😼😼, and i would say that its possible that she could live forever IN THEORY with the dna of that jelly but that would have to be tested lmaooo.

I believe because shes also able bodied (mostly) she would be given similar jobs as Sebastian so shes not depressed, rotting, or lashing out. Not sure if they'd work together but she's observant and being a psychologist, she def psychoanalyzing the hell outta everybody in the facility out of boredom. She seems happy but ofc its a coping mech to make the best out of the absolute horrors around her, still emotional unstable and freaks tf out frequently. Once Sebastian frees everybody, she's free to roam and sees what Sebastian is doing. She asks to assist him in his goal but she only plays a part once Seb handles BIDNESS on land during lockdown. Post lockdown she scavenges for data and whatever here and there but shes mostly left alone or out of most of his operation, yk,,,working with Mr Lopee and all. She really tries to get close with Sebastian (despite emphasizing hes a married man, YEAH SURE BUDDY YOU'RE LIKE 32, WHATEVER MAKES U FEEL BETTER💀) and being the drama fiend i am, i think having a "moment of weakness" would lead to their complex semi romantic possibly toxic dynamic.

Fight: And as i did my research its highly debatable if Sebastian is telling pAInter the truth about getting them both out. Phanny would believe this without question cuz if he can make a plan and has all these skills and resources, he should be able to take everyone (this also includes other peoples inserts and ocs who are experiments because it makes the setting more lively and interesting). I even thought of a cool ass line my homie thought was cold asf for argument dialogue between Phanny and Seb about taking everyone back up to the surface.

Just to summarize: Phanny mentions how noble Seb is after making progress with his escape plan, assuming that he'll take at least as many people as possible including Phanny. Sebastian at this point is already trying to push her away post weakness moment and he know damn well he's just doing this for himself and never accounted to leave w/ a whole damn facility of sentient experiments. He just wanna see his mom again and hes already working in private with Mr Lopee i mean this is a one man escape plan. This ofc shatters Phanny cuz from what hes saying, nobody and he mean NOBODY is getting out of here with him. Hes not a savior and hes not responsible for people he dont even know or fuck with like tf?? And Phannys like OKAY? Nobody's asking you to be JESUS but can you at least be Moses?? Free us so we can all get justice! Explain why you can't take a handful and come back once u take this damn company down?? What about your promise to pAInter? To ME.

Ofc it ends in a big brawl, think Mark getting his shit rocked by his own dad (Omniman from invincible) and they just have this heartbreaking dialogue and they split ways.

Post fight + breakdown: After this, Phanny is basically losing it. I even have a vision for this if it was actually in game and she was an actual character with weight to the gameplay. Like crying and wailing in the vents and pipes, shit breaking, Phanny not being seen for a majority of the game until shes physically stopping u from going through doors and rushing the player. Not to kill them, she loves the expendables and protects them but if she really has to if it means Sebastian can get out/she gets to see another day then...

Plus i drew what that would look like in my last post where shes just standing in the dark in the corner blocking the door. Even if shes not blocking the door she's obviously going through something and can't be interacted with, she just follows the player with her eyes and breathes heavily. If its not that then shes crying by the the water and interacting with her gets the player a DEVIOUS side eye or no response.

Pre-breakdown + if she were actually in the game: I can't really explain why she would help the expendables WITHOUT knowing removing the crystal will indirectly end their lives, i actually havent evaluated that yet but shes friendly to expendables, takes free trade in exchange for shiny objects, and can be seen hanging out with or talking to Sebastian, or passing by in the water/halls. She's capable of killing the player entirely by accident due to her tentacles hanging from the ceiling which she chills in and dying to her makes her scream or apologize (before Sebastian says something snarky) since shes strictly against killing and never willing.

Announcing ur presence helps her know shes in the way. Typical interactive npc shenanigans. Maybe even saving expendables from certain attacks but these are rare interactions in the game. She's overall friendly and if she were real, she'd prolly be a fandom fave (ofc not on Sebastian's level, LETS BE HUMBLE YALL😭) because shes so polite and her tragedy comes near the end where the player isnt even aware of how she became hostile in just a few hours of the run. Her story would hardly happen in game and itd be one of those things a creator would have to mention outside of their game for fans to know abt yk?

Its typical for creators to just drop the craziest lore ever about a character but they're purposefully vague or literally like oh yeah time constraints so we scrapped it lol.

ALRIGHTY CLASS, ANY QUESTIONS? (typing this on my phone was so crazy guys ik its a lot but trust me its DECENT lore </3

[mylovesstuffs]

OT13 and their Adaptive (healthy) coping mechanism

A/N: People have different ways of coping, so it’s not possible to include every single mechanism here. Instead, I’ve focused on the ones I feel are their most effective ways to cope

This is my personal opinion and perspective. It may not accurately reflect their real-life personalities or behaviors.

Seungcheol

Coping Mechanism: Talking it out with close friends or members

As the leader, he carries a lot of responsibility. When stressed, he may lean on his trusted members e.g. Jeonghan, seeking advice or simply venting his thoughts. And when he needs some time to himself, a quiet moment of reflection is his go-to.

Jeonghan

Coping Mechanism: Strategic breaks and indulgence

Jeonghan is probably the type to handle stress with a balance of strategy and self-care. He knows the importance of taking breaks, so you’ll often catch him sneaking a snack or taking a quick nap to recharge. It’s his way of re-energizing, mentally and physically.

Joshua

Coping Mechanism: Music and solitude

Joshua may use music as a way to process emotions—either by just listening to his favorite songs, music helps him process emotions and regain his peace or playing the guitar. His calm and introspective nature suggests if he’s feeling really stressed, he also enjoys having some quiet time to himself just to gather his thoughts and reset. It’s his little moment to breathe and reflect, away from everything else. Sunday morning rain is falling~

Jun

Coping Mechanism: Isolation and reflection

Jun tends to keep to himself when things get tough. He’s an introvert at heart, and sometimes, all he needs is a bit of solitude to process his feelings. He’s probably not the type to seek distraction or company when stressed; he prefers to reflect quietly, letting his mind sort things out. It’s his way of finding clarity.

Hoshi

Coping Mechanism: Being around people and creating positivity, dancing or high-energy activities

Hoshi likely copes by dancing, as it’s not only his passion but also a physical outlet for stress. He might also turn to humor and being around others to keep his spirits high. He is energetic and tends to lift others with his positivity. When he’s stressed, he might rely on the support of others, turning to his members for emotional support. He could also channel his energy into creating something fun or silly, whether through cracking jokes or accusing mingyu of being the mafia (sorry). He often seems to cope by staying busy and not letting the negative stuff linger too long.

Wonwoo

Coping Mechanism: Self-reflection, gaming and quiet time

Wonwoo probably escapes into games to detach from stress and recalibrate. He is introspective and tends to keep a lot to himself. When stressed, he likely seeks solitude to reflect and process his feelings. He might retreat to a quiet space to sort through his emotions in a calm, non-confrontational manner. He’s a thinker, and this quiet time helps him process and gain a clearer understanding of himself. These activities allow him to immerse himself in a different world and regain his mental balance.

Woozi

Coping Mechanism: Composing music or working alone

Have you seen his works? (Ofc you did, otherwise why are you even here?) He's a true artist at heart. He might channel his stress into creating music, using work as both an escape and an outlet. It’s a way for him to work through everything, to put his thoughts and emotions into something tangible. And like the others, he could also prefer being alone to reflect and find clarity.

Dokyeom

Coping Mechanism: Laughter and connection with others

My love is a ray of sunshine, and when he’s feeling stressed, he probably often turns to his friends or members for a good laugh. His optimism helps him keep things in perspective, and with a little help from the people around him, he can find the silver lining in any situation. Whether it's joking around or just enjoying each other's company, it’s his way of lifting himself back up.

Mingyu

Coping Mechanism: Physical activity or distraction through work like cooking or cleaning

I think Mingyu’s the type to stay busy when stress hits. Whether it’s cooking, exercising, or just tidying up, it gives him a sense of control and accomplishment. Being productive helps him stay grounded, and when he’s not working on something, he might focus on something creative, like photography, to distract himself and keep his mind from overthinking. He also leans on his friends to keep his spirits high—laughter and good company are never far away, which allows him to take his mind off stressors.

Minghao

Coping Mechanism: Art and meditation

Minghao is all about balance and mindfulness. When stress creeps in, he turns to painting, meditation or other calming activities. His introspective and artistic nature suggests he values mindfulness and creative expression as ways to cope.

Seungkwan

Coping Mechanism: Reaching out for emotional support

As someone in tune with his emotions, Seungkwan likely talks things out with those he trusts. Humor and watching comforting shows might also be his go-to ways to lift his mood. His emotional awareness makes him great at processing his feelings, and he uses humor as a tool to help him through tough times.

Vernon

Coping Mechanism: Music or zoning out with a movie

Vernon is often found with his headphones in, either listening to music or creating his own. Music is his way of escaping, and it helps him process whatever’s going on in his head. When he’s feeling overwhelmed he might also enjoy immersing himself in movies or other media as a form of escapism.

Dino

Coping Mechanism: Seeking comfort from his members or focusing on dancing

As the youngest, Dino may struggle with balancing his responsibilities. When stressed, he might turn to his older members for comfort or reassurance. He could also focus on dancing as a way to release built-up tension. His love for dance allows him to express his emotions physically, helping him regain control when things feel overwhelming.

[lets-try-some-writing]

I've been meaning to write up something like this for a while, but I didn't have the confidence to do so for fear of sounding selfish and or ungrateful. So before I begin, let me say this now. I appreciate every single one of you lovely people who have taken the time to read, like, reblog, or comment on my work. It has been a joy to see my efforts appreciated and I adore the fact that my work has given others such inspiration and entertainment.

Now with that said, I will be taking a step back from Tumblr for the time being.

I will still pop by and reblog things and perhaps write things over the weekends if I feel like it, but beyond that I intend to try and hang back for a while. I will post things that I've been working on and keep updating my favorite AUs as I feel the motivation, but I won't be involving myself with requests as much. The reason why I am doing this is partially because my life is about to get rather hectic, but also because I've found myself feeling underappreciated here. I love to write, but writing has become both a coping mechanism and my work all at once. I want to make something that will inspire and let me know that it has inspired. I spend all day studying and writing helps me calm down after a long day. It's a comfort, one that I felt like sharing the bounty of.

But after being here for almost... two years now? I suppose I am just a tad upset. I put an extraordinary amount of effort and time into my work, and I hate to see the things I put so much passion and love into get glanced over and ignored. Writing has consumed me in a way, and as much as I love it, unless I am going to earn something from my efforts here, I am finding it hard to keep going. The things I really want to write more for are not seen, and my notes show that things I found very little joy writing are the things that get the most interaction. This isn't to say that I am not grateful for those of you that have looked over what I make, but I feel as though I am screaming into the void most days I post here. My work dies in its cradle because Tumblr itself doesn't seem to promote reblogging fanfiction.

I get more interaction with one chapter over on Ao3 than I do over here for over twenty posts. I find more fulfillment with one well meaning comment there because at least I know that my work will be saved and it will be found by others one day. Here though? Things vanish into the ether as quickly as they came into being. So yeah, this is my little vent post. I am going to take a little break and step back as much as I feel the need to. The desire to please isn't healthy for me.

Thank you for reading this, please stay safe and hydrated. My inspiration be with you in your craft.

[spiderclangen]

which is your fave cat in the clan? and what are their thoughts and feelings on everything? what is a small spoiler you could possibly share about them? =)

My favorite cat in SpiderClan is Dropletpaw!

I draw her to relax sometimes, thing is i may not have mentionned it on tumblr yet but im only ever 1 moon ahead of you guys, so i dont actually know whats going to happen to these cats much!

Well i can tell you shes not dying next moon, but otherwise i dont need to tell you anything more since youll find out soon when its all finished anyway! I only allow myself to play the next moon once most of the previous moon is finished, that way i keep motivated to draw them, because if i already knew how it ended id just not be invested enough. Here are Dropletpaws thoughts about everyone else thus far!

Riftstar is slightly jealous of her, i've interpreted this as him being jealous of her height (shes a maine coon mix) While Olivepaw & Lilykit dislike her a bit, Im assuming its because shes been very rude and snappy on moon 6 (heres ur spoiler) Dropletpaw is clanborn, Oddly insightful & recently gained the Lover of stories skill, which is interesting, i cant recall when it happened so im kinda confused at where that came from.

Anyway i love dropletpaw because she is the most traumatised of the clan, having been taken away from her family as they were infected with redcough, she was pretty much depressed for a whole moon. Sure Squirrelkit asked her how she was feeling at the time, but i think he mightve rushed her to get better so they could play together. Then she even let him vent to her about his, frankly, very less important issues, and now i fear she doesnt know how to cope properly. I hope she gets better, but theres not much I can do, all im able to do is watch the story unfold.

[bloodmoon24]

Hello. Hope I am not a bother to you by ANY means whatsoever, but I just came here to vent about some vivzie stuff that is just so bothersome to me that I need to let it out. Just a heads-up for that the main trigger warning in this topic is about misogyny and sexual abuse/assault/rape.

I've been a Vivziepop fan as long as I can remember--I loved her webcomic Zoophobia along with her other works that I've always been familiar with. She was my favorite artist and she has always been an inspiration for me.

However, when it came to being one of her many beloved fans, you can't IMAGINE on what I had to witness in terms of the sheer amount of hatred that has been spat at Vivienne. Especially when it came down to her releasing Helluva Boss and Hazbin Hotel--and the amount of things "critics"/antis say about her is just downright insane and unreal.

During these past few weeks, after someone had leaked s2 of HH, all of the antis and critics watched it and began to ridicule Vivzie, saying that they lost hope and it has lost redeeming qualities of the show; including being so straight up hating her to the point that it feels like I was reading a blog of a person who was sexist to women publically. It honestly blows my mind completely that this is how people treat creators and their shows SO disrespectfully that it is just straight up hate. Not to mention the takes these antis have about Vivzie that is SUPER stupid.

Mind you, Vivziepop is a bisexual Latin-American woman--while I, myself, am a nonbinary (AFAB) mixed PoC fan. And the way antis are like "Hellaverse is racist/sexist/lgbtq-phobic!!" makes me SO made cuz they are erasing the fact that it was MADE by a woman who is a part of the queer community who is WoC. So saying that Hellaverse is an oppressive/prejudice show is WAAAAAY out of proportion.

Also, I still remember how after "Masquerade" was shown along with Stolas being revealed he is a victim of spousal/domestic abuse, a lot of people (and by people I mean antis/critics) were all hating on Angel Dust and Stolas and saying that Vivzie fetishicizes rape/abuse. But for Angel Dust, it was because he's "not an actual victim of SA" because he's a sex worker and because he's hypersexual along with other things; while people defend Stella (the abuser) and say Stolas deserves his abuse because he cheated on Stella. And I cannot tell you how much I had to force myself as to NOT throw up by this statement.

I am a victim of SA because of an ex-girlfriend and also my cousin's boyfriend forced himself on me; my dad divorced my ""mom"" because she would constantly beat him and verbally scream at him--a related mention, too, that my younger siblings are the results of my "egg donor" forcing herself on my dad (I love my siblings VERY much--and I only think of them as JUST my siblings and not by-products of rape). My best friend, Aaron, was assaulted by an older boy in a psychiatrict hospital. And I know other friends of mine who are hypersexual due to various reasons--with one of them being from sexual trauma.

It sickens me a lot that ppl can SAY stuff like that--when, a while back, Vivziepop LITERALLY stated she was a victim of abuse in a tweet of hers. And after the fourth episode of HH, Sam Haft (the guy who created our favorite music) also revealed, too, he is a victim. Many people, victims of assualt/rape, cope with their trauma in many ways--but it boggles me how others of SA will hate on other SA victims because of the way they cope differently than others. We all have different stories and different ways to comfort ourselves.

On a related topic, too, but it also just frustrates me that when Vivzie takes on the topic of abuse, its apparently "romanticizing" and "fetishicizing" when its LITERALLY not and she took this topic seriously. Also, as a reminder, but Family Guy did the same topic on this, too, but it was half-assed and victim-blamed. In the episode "Screams of Silence: The Story of Brenda Q.", it was about Quagmire finding out his sister was being abused by her boyfriend--however, when the main cast came to confront about how Jeff (the abusive boyfriend) was beating her, they said that it was HER fault she was getting abused. But did this episode receive backlash? Only little. But this honestly JUST says a lot about how treat creators--female and male. If Vivziepop was a dude, it would've been different.

Not to mention, too, that when I was seeing a bunch of hate to Helluva Boss, they were all blaming Vivziepop. Just Vivziepop, Vivziepop, Vivziepop EVERYWHERE. But what about Brandon Rogers, a gay PoC man who LITERALLY wrote Helluva Boss AND created Stolas, does HE receive hate?? Nope, just Vivzie. Its just misogyny--when a man does edgy jokes (and saying language that contains LOTS of cursing/swearing) its cool and funny, but when a woman does it she's being uncool and unfunny.

Whoof. Sorry about giving you a wall of text, I REALLY needed to let this out due to all of the hate I was seeing about Vivziepop after the season 2 leak. And feel free to add your two cents into this.

I’ve been getting a lot of rants in my askbox, don’t worry. And I agree with you 100%, and it’s fucking ridiculous on how society acts like this

[tonkatsubowl]

comfort.

dan heng x reader sfw themes. english isn’t my first language, so please don’t mind the grammatical errors. (っ◞‸◟ c)

⪩ you had a bad day. you just want some comfort.

TERM DIRECTORY ◖y/n: your name ◖e/c: eye color ◖h/c: hair color

everyone has bad days. everyone has different ways to cope with these terrible days that had the potential to bring your mood down. and you had your own ways, too.

sometimes you would be silent. sometimes you didn't have the energy to even cry. sometimes you feel like you're just numb to these sort of things. sometimes you just sit there, letting it hit you, and you tell yourself to go with the flow.

...but there are days where you can't take it, and you just want to be held. you just want to be reassured and told that everything would be okay.

and he did exactly that.

he knew from the look in your eyes when you came back to the astral express, that you weren't okay. he didn't even ask you why, and he knew that asking you a question would make you break down. or piss you off. or sadden you even more.

...instead, he took you by the hand, and brought you into a loving embrace.

"welcome home." he whispered into your ear, brushing away the hair that was in the way of your beautiful e/c eyes. "i'll make you some tea. go sit in my room if you'd like."

you didn't even respond. you were emotionally distraught, and did what he practically offered.

you went into his room, unable to cry. unable to feel anything but your heart killing itself from the pain that took place from whatever had happened. you entered his room, took off your shoes, and went straight to the futon he slept upon. you laid there, curled up, unsure how to process things. unsure how to accept things. but you were ultimately grateful of the reassurance and support that dan heng was giving you.

when he entered, you were immediately hit with the smell of warm bread and tea...whatever it may be, it was probably your favorite.

he sat by your side, placing the tray of your favorite foods on the side. he won't force you to drink or eat. he'll simply be here, silent, letting you weep or vent to him about your day...about whatever had happened.

you aren't obligated to speak to him, but if you ever do, he will always listen to you.

and if you were to cry, he would hold onto you, letting you sob into his chest. he would provide tissues, and let you cry and cry until you fell asleep or until you felt better.

and once you felt better, he made sure that you noticed the tray of assorted food that was provided to you. and if you didn't want it, that's okay.

it was there for you if you ever wanted it.

[sammylbir]

Rewriting Sonia Nevermind

Heya, last time we talked about, rewriting Akane Owari. I think my friend really liked the concept I made and because you seemed to like it too, it's time to rewrite my least favorite DR2 girl.

That being, Sonia Nevermind.

I am not a huge fan of her. She barely has any depth, barely much focus or even an own character arc. She is just a nice girl, who happens to be a princess and a funny foreigner. Well, I think we can do so much more with her, so here are some ideas, to improve her. Feel free to disagree with me.

Personality:

Okay so personality wise, I would keep her friendly nature. But I would also at the same time make her a tad more creepy and her love with serial killers, the occult and dark topics more pronounced. She would talk about it a lot more and a few times, giggles excited when she talks about such topics. This may make her seem like that she is loving serial killers and is romanticizing them, which causes her classmates to be a bit wary off her. In reality, she doesn't condone those crimes of course and she is simply fascinated and passionate about those dark topics. Why she has that fascination to begin with, will be explained later.

Appearance:

I would change Sonia's outfit slightly. She will wear a dark hoodie, one with some white symbols along a pair of blue jeans. Her nails would be painted pink and her face would look as pretty, as in canon. Her hair is a bit more braided from behind, given her a regal appearance. Now, why am I giving Sonia such a strange look? Well, like in canon, Sonia wants to be seen as a normal student by the others and therefore, she is wearing more casual clothing in order to seem more natural and to fit in with the rest. She is not a tomboy by any means and simply wears a hoodie, because its comfortable and because she is not that much of a fan of showing skin. Also, I think the dark clothing contrasts great with her golden blonde hair, so there's that.

Backstory:

Now, as I mentioned in the Personality Subsection, there's a reason Sonia is obsessed with serial killers and that has something to do, with her past. See, when Sonia was younger, she had a sister. One that was supposed to be the one next in line and become the future queen of Nosovelic. However, on the day that she was going to get crowned, (Sonia was 13 at the time), her sister was assassinated by a known serial killer in Nosovelic. This event traumatized Sonia of course and she began to study serial killers and their patterns, in order to partially learn from their methods, to possibly find the killer of her sister one day and also to cope with the loss of her sister. Gundham and her bonded because of their shared interests and they confide each other, thanks to their shared past too.

However, thanks to researching so many killers, Sonia began to develop some dark urges, like light sadism and a somewhat petty nature. She is aware of that of course, but she is trying her best to contain those negative aspects of course. Her light sadism only comes out, when Kazuichi begins to stalk her and she belittles him subtly out of annoyance and as a way, to vent out her darker aspects. Even though Sonia is still holding back and doesn't want to seriously hurt Kazuichi. I can imagine Sonia eventually opening up to Kazuichi and outright telling him, how his behavior creeps her out and Kazuichi will eventually realize it too and then tries to stop stalking her. I do see potential of them becoming somewhat good friends in the future though.

A few notes about Nosovelic in this rewritten version of mine:

-It's located between Montenegro and Albania

-It's a Parliamentary Monarchy and after Sonia's fall into despair, she stages a coup and turns it into an absolute monarchy.

-The main language is Nosovelician, a mix of German, Dutch and Albanian.

-Military knowledge and education is mandatory, because Nosovelic had been invaded countless times during its tenure.

-It was not part of the Eastern Bloc and remained neutral, throughout the cold war.

-Its closest economic partners are Germany, Bulgaria and Albania.

-The country itself has some LGBT right issues, something Sonia wants to fix.

Additional Notes regarding Sonia:

-She practices martial arts and military training. Sometimes during practice, she comes and teaches the other soldier trainees. Her rank is General.

-Her Japanese has a bit of an east European accent. She speaks European languages, like German, Dutch, French, Swedish, Norwegian, Bulgarian, Romanian and Ukrainian more fluid though.

-Apart from researching about serial killers, she also reads tons of political and economical books.

-The only subject Sonia struggled with in school, was Biology and Math.

And that's it! I hope ya liked my rewrite ideas for Sonia and if ya enjoy it, feel free to leave a like and re-post it. Until next time!

[gojos-thot-patrol]

Some good old fluff! How would the JJK men comfort a sad s/o and vise versa? 🫂 HCs please and thanks!

ooo, I love this!!! We all need some fluff in our life, lets do this!

Now Presenting...

Starring Satoru Gojo, Suguru Geto, Kento Nanami, and Ryomen Sukuna

Satoru Gojo

Gojo’s method of trying to comfort you is trying to make you laugh. 

Gojo is the “Run from you emotions and never ever ever confront that shit” and while he would never push that on to you, it’s how he knows how to cope

He’d hold you close while making soft jokes just to try and make you smile

Hopefully if you’re with Gojo you have a sense of humor, even a dark one, so hopefully it doesn’t hurt your feelings more.

If it does, he P A N I C S but internally to not stress you out more. Outwardly he softly apologizes and shuts the hell up

Which is honestly probably what you need as well

He brings you tea for sure

Tea is warm and safe and comforting, and here: Put it inside you, it helps

He’s doing his best, ok?

Making him feel better is a little more straightforward. 

Make him laugh, make him giggle, joke around with him anything. 

When Gojo is sad, the last thing he wants to do is think about it. That can be saved for late at night when he can't sleep. For now, he just wants to take his mind off of it. 

So just make him laugh. It won’t be hard honestly. 

Sit with him and distract him, he’ll feel better eventually. 

Your proximity to him ensures that.

Suguru Geto

His comfort is quiet. It’s him holding you while you cry into him, assuring you it will all be ok.

It’s gentle forehead kisses and back rubbing while you cuddle on the bed

He wraps the two of you in your favorite blanket and turning on your comfort medias. 

He’s willing to cancel the day and just stay with you and be there for you when you’re upset, honestly

He’s dedicating all of his time and love into you while you're emotionally recovering

And when he’s upset he honestly just wants the same thing.

He wants you to rest your head on his chest and tell him how much you love him.

He needs to know you're going to be there for him, no matter what and unconditionally. 

Geto is in an almost constant emotional pain, and he’s extremely good at hiding it. 

So when it gets to the point that it’s visible you know it’s bad. It’s soul crushing.

And a part of him hates the fact that all it takes is a hug from you to soothe that pain, just a little.

A part of him is relieved that he has you to remove some of this immense emotional burden off of him.

But 100% of him is positive that he needs you, more than he needs air. 

So just hug him for a little bit when he’s sad, yea?

Kento Nanami

He does the guy thing where he tries to find solutions

Even if you don’t want solutions.

He copes with his own sadness by trying to solve the problem, so logically that would help others, right?

But, if you communicate with him that you don’t want solutions you just want to vent, he will shut up and listen. 

But, ya gotta communicate that first. 

He’d probably make you your favorite warm meal while you talk as well, that way you have another form of comfort when you finished venting.

He makes that as well as your favorite hot drink

When he’s upset, he wants to talk about it.

He wants you to sit with him and come up with ways to try and solve the situation. Just talking with you helps really

He finds your voice rather soothing

And if there really is no way possible to fix it, he wants a distraction. 

Talk to him about the weather, what shows you like, how your day has been.

He doesn't want to waste energy on what he can’t fix. 

He'd rather pour that energy into you.

Ryomen Sukuna

AH SHIT, HERE WE GO AGAIN

I struggle so hard anytime yall want Sukuna to get all cute and fluffy because he Does. Not. Function. Like That!

Sukuna doesn’t do comfort. When he sees you cry he gets annoyed. 

He tells you to stop, like full stop my guy lmaooo

He’s like throwing toilet paper rolls at you like “Tears! Ahh! Dry them, Dry them!”

….Buuuuuutttt It wouldn’t be my Sukuna if he didn’t have a soft spot.

Sukuna is avoiding you, yes. But, you do find small comforts around the house. Ones that he surely left you. 

Little candies or even flowers.

And eventually, late at night, he does come around to hold you while you drift into sleep. 

Not for you though, not at all. All of this is for him…somehow. Just trust me, ok!

When he’s upset, if you were smart you’d steer clear of him.

But you’re in love with Sukuna, so how smart could you be?

That was a self burn btw.

Comforting Sukuna is honestly just being domestic with him. 

DO NOT acknowledge the fact he’s in pain. That's calling him out for being vulnerable and that will not end well. 

But, do make him some tea and talk to him about your day. Ask him to sit with you while you tend to the flowers, or walk the grounds with you. Cuddle into his side while “forcing” him to watch something on tv.

Those are the little things he needs. Despite what Ryomen says, he’s completely and utterly in love with you, you being alive is testament to that. So when he’s upset, all he wants to do is be near you. 

Ryomen is constantly paranoid that you don't actually have feelings for him. For all intents and purposes, you shouldn’t. So, when he gets even a little bit of confirmation that you actually do love him too, that’s all he needs to feel even a little bit better.

[marabarl-and-marlbara]

hello mara, recently i read your post named 'i am not a person of integrity', and i have been thinking about it for the past few days. it was beautiful and changed me to my core in a very positive way

i hope you are having a good day mara

do you have any manga recommendations lately?

hey anonymous -- i appreciate that; i have mixed feelings about the article in question, because 1) i am proud of the writing and having actually finished it, instead of being another one of those projects i start and drop, & 2) i:m not necessarily proud of the circumstances that prompted me writing it, and how it is 'tainted' from being written out of a bitterness;

i:d often thought about writing a retrospective for it, mostly just covering the following:

a. after i finished writing that article all of the weird related neuroses i had felt unwound and like i finally permitted myself to grow; i:d used to have these weird freaked-out 'episodes' of crying and panicking over the memories, and for what-ever reason that all stopped after i finally directly addressed the memory instead of doing a bunch of weak little tip-toeing and self-coping;

b. in the aftermath, and after 'wilderness' i had to learn to be more alone, and comfortable being alone, and comfortable dealing with pains and discomforts alone--and alone here would include not using the internet or 'venting'--and doing this changed a lot of my assessment over self and self-behavior; i think how i wrote and shared myself obsessively both hurt myself and people i ought to have loved more, all borne out of this intense fear of trusting myself to a quiet that i:d been terrified of;

c. in responses from other people, i sometimes worry people mistake the point was to be unapologetically perverted as though wallowing in muck and mistaking that muck for self leads to some assumed healing--there is probably merit in having shame and humility over some personal matters; mostly (and what i think helped me 'move on') was the issue of needing to address uncomfortable thoughts that burrowed inside myself and i had constructed convenient lattices around to support a status that was rotten. sometimes i worry, too, that this was interpreted as needing to be overly penitent--but the most important issue, i think, is that ability to finally confront something internal that you are terrified of confronting; those types of thoughts that, when they bubble up, your brain starts desperately trying to push-down and construct excuses and narratives for until it disperses into your body in a soft-forgetting till it inflames and bubbles back up again like some carrion odor.

d. i:d thought about deleting it a handful of times, due to the bitter root, but it keeps being left up; but: the phylactery part--after those weird neuroses started to die down and (in wilderness) i realized i had tied a bunch of my identity to visual novels and art and writing i found a greater peace in just giving up on all of those aspirations. i am not really an artist, or a writer, and may-be i don:t really care about visual novels whatsoever; there was something really freeing about that.

i haven:t really read manga this year at all, but i:ll recommend eden: it's an endless world! because it:s what i would want to read if i wanted to read manga--if you:re willing to be spoiled, you might like this video of the final few pages being synched up to a song it references, it:s one of my favorite videos (go ahead! spoil yourself!)

take care; natsunokumo is a manga i like, too, not completely translated last time i checked, though

[multiplicity-positivity]

Dormancy: Coping with the temporary loss of a headmate

So we have a post on how to help a headmate post-dormancy, and we thought it was about time to write a post on helping yourself when one of your headmates goes dormant.

What is dormancy?

Dormancy is when a headmate or alter becomes temporarily inactive or seemingly disappears from their system for a length of time. This is a relatively common experience that affects systems of many different backgrounds and origins.

Why do headmates go dormant?

Headmates may go dormant for a wide variety of reasons, including, but not limited to:

- the system feeling overwhelmed

- a scary or traumatic life event

- their presence being no longer needed in their system

- the system being too overcrowded

- the system functioning through cycles of different headmate groups

- and many more! There is no clear-cut set of reasons for a headmate going dormant.

Will my dormant headmate ever come back?

Chances are, yes! Headmates and alters don’t die in systems, and if a headmate goes dormant there is a huge chance that they will return one day. It may take weeks, months, years, or even decades for a headmate to be awakened from dormancy. Even if it’s been many years since a particular headmate went dormant, that in no way means they’ll never be coming back!

Can I force my headmate out of dormancy?

For some systems, it is possible to contact a dormant headmate or even pull them out of dormancy before that headmate is ready. However, if your system does not already have a pre-established member capable of contacting dormant headmates, it’s probably for the best to not fret over forcibly removing them from dormancy. Rather, it’s best to have patience and accept that, while it may be a long time before you see your dormant headmate again, being dormant does not mean they’re lost forever.

I miss my dormant headmate! How can I cope with the loss?

It’s totally understandable to be hurt, confused, frustrated, anxious, or distraught when a headmate becomes dormant, especially if it was a member you are close to. We’ve found that the best way to handle coping with the loss of a headmate to dormancy is through trusting your feelings and allowing yourself to grieve.

Here are some things you can try to help you and your system properly mourn the (most likely temporary) loss of your headmate:

1) Remember there are no wrong feelings

There’s nothing wrong with missing your headmate! There’s nothing wrong with feeling angry that they left, or worried that you may never see them again. What matters more than our feelings is how we choose to act on them. You can’t control your feelings, but you can try to control how you react to them. So try to treat yourself and your system with kindness, patience, and understanding, in spite of feeling upset or overwhelmed! Don’t

2) Journal

Keeping a journal can allow you and your headmates to vent, process your emotions, and grieve in a safe environment. You can write out how you feel, reminisce about times spent with your dormant headmate, or anything that helps you and your system in the face of this loss. Your journal can be just for you, or it can be for any headmate who wishes to write in it! Journalling can be so useful for those who are grieving or going through difficult times, and this includes those who are missing a dormant headmate!

3) Keep their memory alive

Just because your headmate is dormant doesn’t mean you’re doomed to forget about them. You can create a shrine or memorial in your living space or even in your system’s headspace (if you have one) in order to honor your dormant headmate. You can keep pictures of them and hold onto their projects, personal items, or things they were interested in. You can create a playlist of songs that they loved or that remind you of them. You can do things like engage in their favorite activity or make a food they love in order to feel close to them. You can spend time with your headmates sharing your favorite stories and fond memories of your dormant headmate. Collaborate with your system to find ways of keeping your dormant headmate’s memory alive, and leaving a space for them if and when they do return to your system!

4) Seek support

If your system is still struggling after regularly journalling, attempting to process your emotions, and memorializing your dormant headmate, it may be time to seek outside support. Of course, if another member of your system feels equipped to support those who are struggling, y’all should feel welcome to support and care for each other however you can! However, if everyone in your system is having difficulties dealing with your headmate’s dormancy, it may be time to seek some outside help.

This is where friends, loved ones, therapists, and other people who your system trusts come in! If you’re out about your system to anyone in your life, and trust them to be understanding and treat you and your headmates with kindness, it may be a good idea to reach out to them and let them know what’s going on. Sometimes just talking about your troubles with someone who cares can be incredibly cathartic and beneficial!

Hopefully, these suggestions can help bring your system closure while understanding that, while your dormant headmates aren’t gone forever, it’s okay to miss them and to grieve their absence in your lives!

My headmate has returned from dormancy! How can I help them readjust to life?

We actually already wrote a post on how to help headmates post-dormancy! You can check it out below - there might be some repeat information in both of these posts!

If you made it this far, thank you so much for reading! Feel free to reach out if you have any further questions or comments regarding dormancy. The post linked above ^ has some links to outside articles and resources on dormancy which may be useful! We hope this helps those who are struggling with the loss of a headmate due to dormancy.

Please try to take care of yourselves, and have a great day!

(Image ID:) A pale orange userbox with a cluster of multicolored flowers for the userbox image. The border and text are both dark orange, and the text reads “all plurals can interact with this post!” (End ID.)

[vivika-ka]

I hate to be the person complaining about fanfics, but reading Leopika fics can be a bit difficult when you kin Kurapika more so than the other characters lol.

I feel like there’s barely any emphasis on the fact that he’s grappling with the literal genocide of his people. It’s not one person or some members of his family, it’s literally everyone. Everyone and everything he’s ever known, completely gone yet simultaneously haunting him as parts of them can’t be laid to rest properly (the eyes) and sold as some exotic commodity, completely dehumanizing their bodies even in death--I also wager it is part of their culture to be buried "whole."

He’s carrying that guilt and the fear it’ll happen again to the people he loves and who love him. He’s carrying the legacy of every Kurta clan member on his shoulders. He’s grappling with the disappearance of their culture, sans himself attempting to keep it alive amidst revenge and a quest that may very well kill him. He doesn't want to do the things he's done, but rather views it as a necessity to achieve his goal (to catch a monster, you become one, essentially).*

If this was One Piece, I’d somewhat understand the vitriol in majority of the fics—how frustrating it is that Kura doesn’t open up to his friends, since One Piece begs the characters to trust their friends wholeheartedly (thinking about Nico Robin and Trafalgar Law in relation to Kurapika). But Hunter x Hunter is entirely different in its approach to trauma and interpersonal relationships in general.

I know it doesn’t excuse how Kurapika’s coping mechanisms affect the people who love him; if anything I appreciate how fic writers explore the pain of watching someone you love trying to fight alone and fighting in self-destructive ways. This aforementioned aspect in fics is not what I'm usually picky of, but more so how his trauma is constantly overlooked or underplayed.

The comparison to Gon is something I also don't mind in terms of how hard-headed and self-centered they can be when it comes to their goals (tunnel vision). However, it is not a 1-1 comparison. It always goes back to the fact Kurapika is carrying a genocide on his back vs. Gon carrying the loss of one person. Above everything else, grief is absolutely valid. But I do think there's such a thing as someone grappling with a person's death vs. an entire society and subsequently their culture.

(Much is similar when it comes to aforementioned OP characters, especially Trafalgar Law, when their loss is often compared to other characters but it doesn't quite amount to the same level psychologically and physically. For example, his loss to Blackbeard is often compared to the Strawhats losing to Kuma, when it is entirely different given the context of both characters and crews' backstories and world connections).

Killing the Phantom Troupe is one thing I don't necessarily mind when other characters urge him to let go, since killing them won't bring his clan back. What vexes me boils down to the mission of laying his clan to rest being treated as something easy to give up, I feel like it loses sentimentality. Especially when the fics, and occasionally metas, usually entail every single character shitting on Kurapika for essentially not giving that up.

If there’s any character who hates Kurapika with a passion, is Kurapika. No other character needs to do that for him because he does it plenty for himself, given both his survivor’s guilt and the guilt of hurting the people he cares for.

Anyway, I rarely complain publicly like this, nor do I like to. Following etiquette, I don’t keep reading the stories that aren't for me, and choose to work on my personal WIPs, of course. This is a vent, if anything. It’s just hard when the fandom at large seem to mischaracterize the your favorite blorbo 😅

*Disclaimer. I wouldn't even bother putting this here if I didn't see people arguing Kurapika is willfully enabling the upper class' oppression just because he works for rich folk, plus claiming he himself subscribes to capitalist and oligarchical ideologies compared to Leorio, when that's not true at all lmaooo. Kurapika came from a clan that has deep connection to nature, they were far removed from society at large and lived through deep communal relationships and "trade," they used what was available to them; I wouldn't be surprised if there was little to no monetary system in place. His notion of what is honorable and what isn't has nothing to do with capitalism, it boiled down to doing what is right at the cost of yourself, that's why he is literally sacrificing himself to avenge his clan. Him disagreeing with Leorio on reasons why to become a hunter and having to work for the Nostrade are not AT ALL congruent with agreeing to a capitalist and oligarchical view, what are you people on?