#i laugh but its been destroying me for 3 months now

[veloriium]

its so nerve-wracking when u cant get ur anger out in the only way you know how bc now wtf am i gonna do? face my emotions? fuck

[angelicqsa]

.ೃ࿐ 𝗌𝗎𝗆𝗆𝖾𝗋𝗍𝗂𝗆𝖾 𝗌𝖺𝖽𝗇𝖾𝗌𝗌

𝙥𝙖𝙞𝙧𝙞𝙣𝙜 | 𝖻𝖾𝗅𝗅𝖺𝗆𝗒 𝗑 𝗋𝖾𝖺𝖽𝖾𝗋

𝙨𝙪𝙢𝙢𝙖𝙧𝙮 | 𝗌𝖾𝗍 𝗂𝗇 𝗌𝖾𝖺𝗌𝗈𝗇 3, 𝖡𝖾𝗅𝗅𝖺𝗆𝗒 𝗁𝖺𝗌 𝖻𝖾𝖾𝗇 𝖼𝗁𝗈𝗈𝗌𝗂𝗇𝗀 𝖯𝗂𝗄𝖾 𝖺𝗇𝖽 𝗁𝗂𝗌 𝗅𝗈𝗒𝖺𝗅𝗍𝗒 𝗍𝗈𝗐𝖺𝗋𝖽𝗌 𝗁𝗂𝗆 𝗈𝗏𝖾𝗋 𝗋𝖾𝖺𝖽𝖾𝗋 𝖺𝗇𝖽 𝗍𝗁𝖾 𝗋𝖾𝖺𝖽𝖾𝗋 𝖺𝗅𝗌𝗈 𝖽𝗈𝖾𝗌𝗇’𝗍 𝗅𝗂𝗄𝖾 𝗐𝗁𝖺𝗍 𝖡𝖾𝗅𝗅𝖺𝗆𝗒 𝗂𝗌 𝖽𝗈𝗂𝗇𝗀 𝖺𝗇𝖽 𝖽𝖾𝖼𝗂𝖽𝖾𝗌 𝗍𝗈 𝖼𝗈𝗇𝖿𝗋𝗈𝗇𝗍 𝗁𝗂𝗆.

𝙬𝙖𝙧𝙣𝙞𝙣𝙜𝙨 | 𝖺𝗇𝗀𝗌𝗍 𝗐𝗂𝗍𝗁 𝗌𝗆𝗎𝗍, 𝖻𝗈𝖽𝗒 𝗐𝗈𝗋𝗌𝗁𝗂𝗉, 𝖺𝗅𝖼𝗈𝗁𝗈𝗅 𝖺𝖽𝖽𝗂𝖼𝗍𝗂𝗈𝗇

𝙣𝙤𝙩𝙚𝙨 | 𝖥𝗂𝗋𝗌𝗍 𝗍𝗂𝗆𝖾 𝗐𝗋𝗂𝗍𝗂𝗇𝗀 𝗈𝗇 𝗍𝗎𝗆𝖻𝗅𝗋 𝗀𝗎𝗒𝗌𝗌𝗌!

.·:*¨༺ ༻¨*:·.

“ɪᴛ ᴡᴀꜱ ᴀ ᴍɪꜱᴛᴀᴋᴇ”, ʏᴏᴜ ꜱᴀɪᴅ. ʙᴜᴛ ᴛʜᴇ ᴄʀᴜᴇʟ ᴛʜɪɴɢ ᴡᴀꜱ, ɪᴛ ꜰᴇʟᴛ ʟɪᴋᴇ ᴛʜᴇ ᴍɪꜱᴛᴀᴋᴇ ᴡᴀꜱ ᴍɪɴᴇ, ꜰᴏʀ ᴛʀᴜꜱᴛɪɴɢ ʏᴏᴜ.” – ᴅᴀᴠɪᴅ ʟᴇᴠɪᴛʜᴀɴ

────────────˚🦢・₊✧⋆⭒˚｡⋆────────────

Being with bellamy was everything to me. You two were a perfect picture couple, ever since yall met; on the dropship the first day the 100 came down, you and Bellamy had chemistry. Despite you not liking his 'whatever the hell we want' motto you decide to give him a chance, and to let him in your heart. Since then its been nothing but pure bliss and a strong feeling of content. He'd always hold you and whisper sweet nothings and treat you like someone. And for once in your life you felt like you was important to someone, and you felt like you had meaning in life which is something you had never felt before. But now, its as if a summertime sadness has hit.

When Pike and Bellamy had been having these hush conversations he started acting a little off and the soft love touches were soon replaced with intense stares. It was as if a switch had flipped in him, a battle with dark vs light and the dark took over the light inside him. He walks out of the bathroom into your shared room and you ask, "Is everything okay Bellamy? You're acting a little off. You can talk to me you know?" You whisper as he climbs into bed and just stares at me as if i said nothing.

With a gruff sound he responds in a monotone way, "I'm fine. Just some stuff with Pike and Kane." he turns his back towards me before you could even respond he turns off his lamp on his side of the bed. Feeling disappointment wash through me, you turn off my lamp and let out a sigh then turn your back on him and lay there, with him consuming your last thoughts for the night.

That was about a week ago and since then, Pike has became the chancellor with Bellamy's help, Bellamy keeps distancing himself farther and farther away from you it's a contrast to how just a few weeks ago you two were a perfect couple, laughing together, secretly running off, fixing the cars together and just overall enjoying each others company. Everything has changed.

You finish up my work in the library, fixing books and collecting books that were once borrowed. You walk to the bar spotting Jasper, "Hey Jasper. How you holdin' up?" You ask curiously as you pull up a seat next to him. you were secretly hoping he wouldn't blame me for Maya's death for the 15th time in the past month which of course you felt somewhat guilty about, but you're aware that it wasn't you who killed her, and the ones responsible held an immense amount of guilt, not only for her, but for all the victims.

"Hey.." Jasper says drunkenly, while nodding off. He had bags under his eyes as if he never sleeps, which could be possibles considering the grief he was feeling. His grief and his drinking go hand in hand, everytime you see Jasper he's either drunk or on his way to being drunk. It was sad seeing your friend destroy himself.

"How are you tod-" You quickly get cut off to Lincoln being dragged out of medical by one of Pike's goons while angrily cursing at them in Trigedasleng.

"What the fuck is going on!?" You rush over to the scene while looking at Lincoln getting dragged away and you spot Bellamy standing next to Pike without a care in the world that Lincoln; one of his friends, was getting dragged out.

You rush over to Bellamy, anger quickly filling my veins you grab his wrist and mutter to Pike "Can you excuse us for a moment?" you don't even give him a chance to respond before dragging Bellamy to our room.

He looks confused when you first started dragging him, "Hey! what's wrong!" You ignore him.

He tries again and says, "Why are you angrily dragging me like i did something wrong?" Again. Silence.

He sighs angrily and says, "Now you're ignoring me!?" You simply roll your eyes, still angry and stay silent.

"Im so confused! What did i do!?"

The last sentence was shouted as soon as you hit the door and you soon as you shut the door the anger in you swells, the anger that has been continuously increasing these past few weeks that you ultimately end up ejecting at Bellamy with full force.

"Are you fucking serious right now Bellamy!? 'What did i do', 'What did i do wrong?' You fucking know what you did wrong!," Bellamy looks at you in surprise at the burst of anger you just threw at him and tries to interject,

"Is this about Lincoln? I really coul-" You hold your hand up as a sign for him to stop talking and also yell,

"Im not fucking finished talking Bellamy! Im gonna talk and you're gonna fucking listen! I've been feeling like shit for these past few weeks! You've been cold towards me. You've been putting Pike and your loyalty before your loyalty to your friends whos been with you when we were dropped on this planet to die! I-.. I don't know who you are anymore Bellamy, it truly hurts to say that." You feel a pool form in your eyes as you explode, your emotions feel all over the place and you can almost see how this is gonna end. And the 'end' that formed in your mind wasn't a happy ending.

Bellamy looks at you, his eyes soft, opposite to the rough and intense eyes you'd been getting these past few weeks. Bellamy opens his mouth then quickly closes it processing what you had said.

He whispers, scared that an increase of volume might get his heart broken. "Im sorry, i- i didnt mean to make you feel like that. I had no idea you felt like that."

The tears fall down your face as if youre a window on a rainy day, you look down deep in thought and prepare for the answer you might get for this next question. "Do you love me anymore Bellamy?" You say as your voice cracks. You're too afraid to look at his expression, but suddenly you feel his fingers on your chin forcing you to look up at him. He looks broken, he also had tears in his eyes.

"You think i don't love you...? How- How could you think that? I live my life for you. Anywhere you go i go. You've became a big part of my life and showed me what being truly loved is like. I love you always and forever, and i promise ill do everything to make you feel the love i feel for you." He says while crying in guilt for making her ever feel that way. How could he make her feel like that? This girl is the love of his life. The person he wanted to spend all his years with and build a family with.

"I love you Bellamy. So so much." you smile while connecting my forehead with his. "We'll get through this together." you kiss him passionately, all the anger already gone and replaced with love and happiness. See this is the boy you fell in love with.

You two passionately kiss and the kiss progressively gets deeper and more needy. He back away first, breathlessly he says, "Can i show you how much i love you? Baby let me worship you."

You nod your head and kiss him again before he picks you up and you yelp in surprise. "Maybe a warning next time" You giggle as he places you on the bed and starts to move his hands around your body making sure to touch everywhere.

Your body tingles as you feel his hands all over you. He towers over you and kisses you slowly before moving to your neck and making sweet love spots.

'Mmm Bell..' You mutter as he licks and sucks, those mutters eventually turn into moans.

"You gotta keep it down baby. Can you do that for me?" He asks as he pauses from sucking your neck. You nod and he proceeds.

You feel the warmth on your neck suddenly disappear and then you feel your pants being slid off slowly and look down to see Bellamy making eye contact while playing with your panties.

"You're so gorgeous.. how'd i get so lucky?" He says. He then rises up and removes your shirt, exposing your bra. He ends up taking that off and looking at your boobs as if he's seen a million dollars. He starts sucking on one of your nipples while kneading the other one in his hand. You whimper at the blissful sensations while making eye contact with him which just increases the nectar coming out your pussy.

He kisses the nipple he had just been sucking on and moves on to the next one making you bite your lip in pleasure whining at the good sensation.

He then moves to the valley of your breast and starts making open mouthed kisses down to the part where your panties were. He mumbles "These shouldnt be on" and rips them off.

"Hey! i liked those!" You say gasping as you feel the air on your vagina.

"Theres plenty more baby." He says while looking at you with a smirk. He then licks a long strip from your clit down to my entrance. "You're getting my fingers and my tongue today ok baby?" He says while breathing hard out his nose. You love how he still was somewhat dominant even when its supposed to be soft and him worshipping your body you still love the sense of dominance he brings.

"Yes baby thats ok." You whimper out while looking at him with anticipation. He attacks your clit first, circling your clit slowly before sucking which he repeats for a minute. He then places open mouthed kisses on your vagina as he did when he was working on your chest.

You moan at the sensations feeling it deep inside your core almost close to coming. But you didn't want to come that quick and have the night be over with already. You arch your back into his tongue while he licks and suck as if you vagina was a lollipop. You felt close and felt pure bliss ignoring the words he had once muttered earlier 'you gotta keep it down baby' well being cautious of your volume was long gone as soon as his tongue made contact with your clit.

He sucks on your clit which brings you closer to the edge. "F-fuck Bell.. im-im close!" You struggle to say, lost in the sensations and tingles your body was feeling. One last lick did the trick for you and you cum all over his tongue. He smirks and groans as he feels your hot cum. He swallows it before coming back up to kiss you, and when you kiss him you taste yourself all over his lips and tongue.

"Your moans sound amazing, i want more out of you.." He says softly before going back down and sticking a finger inside of you making you moan loudly as you arch your back with your lips parted and your eyes magically shut as he pumps in and out of you. You moan loudly calling out his name as if he was a god.

And that was how you night ended. Feeling worshiped and cared about by the man you love most. But everyone else the next day had heard you being worshiped and you calling our Bellamy's name. An embarrassment but with a good outcome.

𝙨𝙪𝙢𝙢𝙚𝙧𝙩𝙞𝙢𝙚 𝙨𝙖𝙙𝙣𝙚𝙨𝙨 🤍

ִֶָ𓂃 ࣪˖ ִֶָ🐇་༘࿐яєqυєѕт!

─────────⋆˚࿔ 𝐚𝐧𝐠𝐞𝐥𝐢𝐜𝐪𝐬𝐚𝜗𝜚˚⋆─────────

[temilyrights]

43) “god you’re so emotionally constipated.” for Emily x Reader please.

history smothers us

emily prentiss x gn!reader

summary: years of unspoken words and misconceptions threaten to destroy what remains of a once close relationship. you couldn't imagine your life without emily. now you look at her and feel every part of the ocean that destroyed you both. featuring prompt "god you're so emotionally consitpated" from my prompt list.

word count: 2.3k

warnings: angst with a happy ending. mention of blood. no use of y/n. set in season 12. unit chief prentiss.

a/n: thank you so much for the request <3 sorry it took me a while I struggled to find the right idea. I imagine this wasn't what you had in mind but I do hope you enjoy it anyway. also side note: i've deleted my taglist, i'm restarting because it was years old so if anyone would like be re-tagged or anyone new would like to be added pls lmk!

The police lights flash in the midnight sky. Agents and local police spread across the farmhouse. And you, sitting in the back of an ambulance, blood dripping down the side of your head, the beginnings of a headache making itself known.  

The bright torch shining in your eyes makes you wince, but the EMT clears you of a concussion and hands you pain meds to swallow. You drag your hand through your hair, a frustrated sigh leaving your lips. 

The unsub had come out of nowhere and whacked you over the head with a metal pole, and he probably would’ve done a lot more if it wasn’t for Tara being two steps behind you. 

Honestly, you were fine. A little banged up, with a nasty bruise already forming, but the blood had been wiped away and it was almost like it had never happened.

Well, apart from the very angry Unit Chief Prentiss stalking towards you. 

You wish this was an unfamiliar sight, but god she’d been back months now and you don’t think her smile had been pointed in your direction once. 

“What were you thinking?” She scolds, voice sharp and eyes narrowed. You don’t miss the shaking of her hands as she holds them tightly on her hips or the rising flush of her cheeks, both she would blame on the cold but you knew they were born out of concern, not that she’d ever admit it. Not anymore.

“I’m sorry I didn’t realise the FBI now required its agents to have the abilities to see through walls.” You roll your eyes, the half-joke an attempt to fix her glare, but you know even as the words pass your lips it’s futile. Your shoulders slump, already tired for the fight ahead,  “He came out of nowhere, Prentiss.” 

Her lips purse, “They require you to be able to clear a room. It seems you might need a refresher course. Maybe until you can be trusted and I deem you requalified it’s best you stay back in quantico.” 

“What?” You ask incredulously. Of all the dumb things- “Let me get this straight, you’re benching me over nothing? Tara was through that door seconds later. I wasn’t defying your orders. You have no reason to do this!”

“I want you to redo your basic training so I know you can be trusted in the field.” She demands, stoic, serious, and so far away from the soft woman you used to be able to reach out to. 

You laugh, but the noise is sad and wild. You shake your head in disbelief, watching the woman in front of you that years ago used to be the person you were closest to in the world. Now you stare at her and feel every part of the ocean that destroyed you both. “God, you’re so emotionally constipated.” 

“Excuse me?” 

You push yourself off the end of the ambulance, bringing yourself to your full height and meeting her gaze. You knew the day she accepted the unit chief position this wouldn’t end well, there was too much history, too much the two of you had left unsaid, hurt and anger smothering any possible relationship left. 

“Let’s not pretend this has anything to do with my performance.” You begin,

words low enough that if she didn’t listen the words threatened to disappear with the wind, “It’s because I got hurt and you’d rather damage my career and ruin the tatters of our relationship than admit that me getting hurt scared you.” 

Emily steps backwards, face stricken. Her hands fall from her hips, her mouth opening and closing as she struggles for words. 

You decide there’s nothing left she can say. You excuse yourself and grab a lift with Luke, happy to leave the crime scene and your boss behind. After everyone’s finished at the farmhouse and packed up at the police station it’s nearing two am and everyone is ordered back to the hotel to catch a few hours of sleep before the flight in the morning. 

Your feet are dragging by the time you make it to your room. The meds have done their job though and your headache had faded away, but nothing but sleep was going to help your heavy and aching bones. You wave a tired goodbye to Tara, who unlike Emily had no issues checking in and making sure you were okay, and then retreat to your room. 

You slump into the chair at the desk, telling yourself you’ll find the energy to get ready for bed in one minute. But so thankful to finally be off your feet. Your reprieve lasts only minutes before a knock sounds at your door. A withered sigh leaves your lips and you consider ignoring it but still find yourself pushing yourself upright and making your way back to the door. 

When you open it, you wish you’d listened to your thoughts. 

“Hi?” You say hesitantly, staring into the tired face of Emily Prentiss. There’s no anger, her shoulders are almost slumped, defeated maybe? You look away, too scared to analyse further. 

“Can I come in?” 

You open the door further allowing her entrance. She smiles, tight lipped at you, nodding her thanks. You close the door and wait for her to speak, pondering how in the hell you both got to awkward silences and forced tight lipped smiles when years ago you two could share looks across the room and know what the other was thinking, spent hours talking and laughing together, how you had built a life and never thought there would be a day that she wasn’t in it with you. 

“We can’t go on like this.” She starts eyes meeting yours before flickering away, “Things between us have not been right since I returned and I think maybe we should clear the air. I want to be the Unit Chief, I want to be back here at Quantico but that only works if we can be a team.” 

You scoff. It slips from your mouth, uncontrolled and harsh. Emily’s gaze snaps to yours, her surprise at the sound clear. You shake your head, “What is there to say?” Where would we even begin?

“I-” She chokes, blinking as the emotions claw at her throat. “I’m sorry for hurting you.”

Your brows draw in confusion as you shake your head, “What are you talking about?”

“After everything that happened with Doyle-”

Your eyes bulge, “You think I'm still upset about that? God, do you think I’m a monster? You survived. You lived. That’s all that matters.” 

Tears pool in her eyes, but she blinks them away, her gaze shifting to the wall as her fingers pick at a hangnail. She looks back at you, still picking, gaze more open and lost than you’ve seen in a long time. “Then why? I hurt you. I can see it in the way you can barely stand to be around me, like it hurts you to even be in my presence.” 

You blow out a breath, eyes moving around the room before they land back on her and then away again. “It’s not your fault.” You breathe, emotions lodged in your throat and heart beating wildly against your chest as you try and force the words out. “You didn’t hurt me, I hurt myself. There was never going to be a life I led that you weren’t right with me, you know?” You laugh, wet and broken. 

Emily’s mouth falls open, her eyes emotional pits that you don’t dare hold. 

“And then you left for London and I couldn’t exactly be upset because I had no say in what you did with your life. We were just friends. I knew it’s what you needed and I don’t resent you for that. I just…” You take a breath, “I was so angry at myself for missing you, for thinking that I could be someone you would stay for.”

And there it was. The truth. Because at the end of the day, you’ve always just wanted to be enough for the woman in front of you. For her to see you as more than just your friend. To one day have your feelings returned. 

She’d left and you’d both been busy and you’d deliberately tried to separate yourself as well, drawing back from the painful reminder that you weren’t enough. And since her return, all those emotions have been resurfacing, however much you tried to keep them buried. Because falling out of love with Emily Prentiss was just not something you were capable of, and you’ve spent years trying too. 

Emily approaches you, the space between you closing ever so slightly. Your gaze sticks to the ground, scared to see the easy to read emotions across her face. She takes a breath, the sound muffled by the beating of your heart.

“After I came back from Paris, I used to find myself looking at you and knowing I couldn’t be that woman you remembered, the one you sought for. I wanted to. Desperately.” Her voice hitches, and then lowers to a hoarse whisper, “I wanted to be the woman you fell for.” 

Your eyes finally rise, against your will. Tears make their way in delicate paths down her cheeks, she looks every bit as lost as you feel. The only thing stopping you from falling apart is the fear that if you let go you may never recover. 

“I didn’t need you to be anyone. I just wanted you to be yourself. I wanted you to trust me.” You respond gently.

She shakes her head, “No, everyone was looking for that version of me that I couldn’t grasp onto.”

“Emily,” You sigh painfully. Her face crumples, eyes squeezing shut at the sound of her name from your lips. It’s been so long, you know. “You were healing from a trauma. I’ve always wanted the authentic you, whatever that includes. Why would that suddenly change?” 

She nods, a deep frown on her face as she accepts your words. Then a wet laugh, as she wipes away her tears. “I’ve missed you. Every day. I hate being in the same room as you and it being awkward. I used to be able to look at you and know what you’re thinking. I want that back.” 

A small smile curves your lips, “Me too, more than anything.” 

“Yeah?” She questions. Her teeth run across her lip, as she dares to hope. “You think we could get back there?” 

Your heart hammers. “I just need you to be really clear here. What exactly are we getting back to?” 

She steps forward, finally close enough to touch. Her hand hesitantly reaches out and touches yours, her cold fingers intertwining with your warm ones. Your body remembers her touch, relaxes and leans into it automatically. You eat it hungrily, tracking the movement before your eyes rise to meet hers and find soft, open eyes watching you. “I want to make you fall in love with me again.”

Your breath catches in your throat, tears pooling in your eyes as your hand shakes in hers.

“And this time, I promise, I’ll be there to catch you.” 

“We might have a slight problem with that plan.” You laugh, trying your hardest not to sob.

She frowns, nose wrinkling in the way you adore. “What’s that?” 

“It’s pretty difficult to re-fall in love when I never stopped loving you in the first place.” You huff, and Emily laughs, rich and free and bright. Her face joyful and happy, and with the wide bright smile you’ve waited months to feel pointed in your direction. God the sight makes your head spin.

“Is that so?” She asks, hand moving up to cup your cheek, eyes full of love and pointed at you. 

You can only nod, dizzy from her attention and the emotions coursing through your body. 

When her lips find yours it feels like finally coming home. Soft and delicate, both too scared to push too hard, exploring slowing even as her hand holds your cheek and yours fists in her shirt. You’ve waited years for this, and if you get more of these than it will be worth it. Everything is worth it for the feeling of Emily in your arms. 

When she pulls away, it’s too soon. You follow her mouth and she concedes and gives you a couple more slow kisses before she stops herself, resting her forehead against yours.

“I just want to say sorry for earlier.” She whispers into the safe space you’ve built. “You were right, I was scared when you got hurt. Dave’s already kicked my ass for my response, you won’t receive any disciplinary action.”

You nod slightly, her forehead moving against yours, “Thank you.” 

“It won’t happen again.” She promises, sealing the words with a kiss to your lips. 

“I know.” You kiss her again, but this time you break out into a yawn midway through. Your momentarily forgotten exhaustion, making itself known. 

She melts against you, caressing your cheek. “Oh, you need to sleep. We can talk more tomorrow. I’m taking you out for dinner.” 

You bite your lip to hide the smile threatening to take over your face, “A date?” 

She chuckles, rolling her eyes. “Yes, a date. But only if you sleep first.” 

“Your wish is my command.” You can’t stop the grin from taking over your face anymore. You press a peck to her lips and lead her back towards the door. “I’ll see you tomorrow.” 

“Tomorrow.” She agrees, eyes fluttering over your face as if she’s committing every aspect to memory. “Sleep well.” 

“You too.” 

She presses one last kiss to your lips before she opens the door and makes her exit. You close the door quietly behind her, sinking back into it and allowing the giggle to finally escape your mouth.

What the fuck had just happened. 

Emily Prentiss kissed you. 

Emily Prentiss has feelings for you. 

You weren’t alone.

You bite your lip and push off the door, finally ready to get ready for bed and praying come morning that this would still be your reality.

taglist: @aburman03

[vaguesxrrow]

hii! i was wondering if i could request a Dean Winchester x reader with an established relationship, and i had this prompt in my head [could possibly be used as future inspo's for you fics too if you'd like :>]

basically, the relationship between them is pretty new, like only a month or two new, and reader has claustrophobia, but never told him or Sam.

and for a case, they have to go into an elevator, which is fine, and reader seems to do a good job at pretending it doesnt freak them out that they're in a convined space (elevator is pretty tiny, even for elevator standarts)

but then it suddenly stays still, and gets stuck bc of electrical issues.

so now they're stuck in an elevator for who knows how long, and reader tries their best to stay calm, but Dean knows better and now that the elevator is staying still he notices the microexpressions, the panic, the fear.

and its just super fluffy with him helping reader deal with it untill the elevator is back on track

thanks! and have a great day!

i lovee all your requests sm, especially bc they challenge me to write new things <33 i rlly like how this turned out so i hope u do to !

dean winchester / claustrophobic!reader

a/n: i have no personal experience with claustrophobia but i researched it as much as i could. however sorry if it still sounds unrealistic !

cws: panic attacks, claustrophobia

wc: 785

tags: gender neutral reader, hurt/comfort, fluff, humour

"can we even fit in there?" dean asked dubiously, clearly unimpressed at the elevator that stood before you. "i mean, this has gotta be a health hazard, man, cause what is this?" he banged the doors as he stepped inside.

"it's fine, dean, stop being dramatic." you rolled your eyes, trying to fight the wave of panic (or was that vomit?) rising up inside you.

not letting yourself think about it any further, you stepped in after dean. at first, you thought it was just your claustrophobia whispering how this elevator looked like a death trap. but then your (wonderful, by the way) boyfriend dean had pointed it out himself, and wasn't that just awesome?

you weren't irritated at him, but at the situation itself. you and dean had only been dating for a month, and definitely hadn't reached the 'divulge your deepest fears and secrets to each other' stage.

you could tell dean about your claustrophobia now, but what else was there to do? the stairs in this building had been destroyed by the vampires you knew nested on the top floor.

in conclusion, the elevator was the only way.

determined, you punched the button to the 17th floor. this was fine.

dean prattled on about the job. something about 4 vampires, killing 3 residents until the others had to evacuate...

suddenly, the elevator groaned to a stop, on the 10th floor. you hit the buttons again. god, it had been going so well.

"what happened?" you asked. the lights began to flicker. "is there a ghost here, too?"

both of you scanned the area as best as you could, having to shuffle around awkwardly to look at the whole area.

"nah," dean finally said. "probably just electrical issues."

you sighed. "it's gonna be humiliating calling sam to rescue us."

"tell me about it." dean rolled his eyes, even as he dialed his brother's number. "yeah, sammy, [name] and i got into a bit of a situation... no, dumbass, we're not dying-"

you forced a laugh at the boy's banter, even as the walls seemed to be closing in on you. breathe in and out, you chanted internally.

"-if you could just come get us..." dean glanced at you, pausing in surprise for a second. "hey, sammy, i gotta go, just get here as quick as you can, would ya?" he hung up, tucking his phone back into his pocket. you were too focused on keeping your emotions in check to notice dean had become alerted to your subtle panic, and was now giving you his full attention.

"you okay, [name]?" he asked.

you forced a teasing grin. "fine, just wishing i had some fresh air to get away from your stink."

"that's a smooth evasion if i've ever heard one, but it ain't gonna work on me, hot stuff." he wiped away a miniscule bead of sweat from your forehead. "literally."

you closed your eyes. he had clocked you - no point in keeping up the act now, even if it was embarrassing.

"can i touch you?"

you nodded. he put an arm around your shoulder, his other hand lightly grasping yours. he guided it to his chest where his heart was. "you feel my heartbeat?"

you murmured an affirmation.

"alright, it quickened a bit there, but that's the effect you have on me." he winked. "how fast is it? does it match the.. what was it, bpm, of any song?"

you shook your head at him in confusion. "what?"

"answer the question, [name]." he rolled his eyes, flushing slightly.

you furrowed your brow as you thought. "wanted dead or alive, bon jovi?"

he smirked. "awh, that's awesome. now you get to bear witness to my rendition of it."

that alone was so unexpected it startled a laugh out of you. "excuse me?"

he began swaying, jostling you in the process. "you heard me. i'm a cowboy, on a steel horse i riiide." he spun around, although it was more of an awkward twirl. "i'm wantedddd..." he held out both hands to you, tugging you close when you took them. "dead or aliiiveeee!"

you snorted loudly at his attempt to hold the last note, and yelped in surprise when the elevator lurched back into movement. dean's hug tightened, steadying you.

"i must be one hell of a singer if that was all it took to get the elevator sorted," he remarked, looking hilariously proud of himself.

"that's one way to put it." your previous panic and embarrassment had dissipated, leaving only gratitude for your boyfriend. "thanks."

he kissed you briefly. "no problem. but can you imagine the look on sammy's face when he gets here and we don't need help anymore? ha, imagine that!"

[ourfleur]

「Who Do You Belong To?」 [Johnny Cage x Fem Reader]

Summary: Being in a relationship with someone like Johnny Cage isn’t easy, especially when they have the same reputation he does, always so much attention always on you and your relationship. But maybe you can use that to your advantage, make them all know who this A-lister belongs to.

Tags: nsfw (basically just porn with a tiny plot lmao), semi public sex, au, dom&sub, switch reader, switch johnny, jealousy, possession, pet names (mostly baby)

An: hiii so this is my first time not only writing smut but also posting anything i write lol, i hope its not shit.. i pretty much only wrote this because i had this idea and no one had written anything like it so i wrote it myself.. anywaysss enjoy :3

follow my ao3

3 months. It had been only 3 months since you started dating the “infamous” Johnny Cage. 3 months and yet you were already more famous than 99% of the population would ever be.

You were still getting used to the fame, the constant cameras flashing in your face and the constant attention. You knew so many women would kill to be where you are, in the arms of Johnny, knowing that didn’t make life any easier. Constantly, new drama would stir up, rumours about you or your boyfriend breaking up or cheating on each other. But that… that was bearable. What wasn’t bearable was Johnny's co-star on his new movie. She wasn’t shy about wanting him and when the rumours started circulating of him ditching you for her she laughed it off and played stupid. “Oh really?”, she laughed, “I cannot confirm nor deny anything, it’s up to the fans imaginations.” That bitch made you livid.

This was supposed to be a relaxing day but you spent all of your time on Johnny's yacht reading the nasty and idiotic comments from the media. It was also extremely hard to relax considering the paparazzi was so close by, it seemed no matter where you went you could not escape them. But that revelation gave you an idea.

Getting up off the lawn chair you were lounging on, you pranced your way over to your boyfriend, who was occupied with writing his own movie. Taking the notebook out of his hands as you got on top of him. He was surprised at first but then smirked, eyeing the way your little body looked in that tiny bikini.

“Johnnyyyyy…” You whined while looking at him through half lidded eyes. Slowly, you grinded yourself on his clothed dick. “I need you right now.” You smiled, seeing the way his face contorted as you moved yourself across his lap. You leaned down to whisper in his ear, “I need everyone to understand who you belong to, so do me a favour and fuck me where they all can see.” You felt him hardening underneath you at your words. “Fuck, whatever you say baby.”

You leaned into each other, mouths crashing together in an aggressive kiss. Continuing to grind on each other while making out, only breaking to release some particularly intense whimpers. His large hands running all over your tiny body. Moving your hands down his chiselled abs, you reached the prize. Palming him through his shorts, which elicited the prettiest moans from his mouth.

Finally, you took his cock out, glistening with precum. You ran your delicate hand up and down his shaft, fingers tracing his pretty little veins and squeezing with just the right amount of pressure. You raised yourself up, letting him pull your bottoms to the side. You aligned yourself with him and slowly sunk down, making you both moan. You looked out across the water, seeing the many cameras, all focused on you and him. You began moving, listening as he moaned out your name. The way his thick cock stretched you always took you over the edge. You grinded your pretty pussy on him, over and over, not even paying attention to the poor mess of a man beneath you, only staring out at the cameras. Making sure they caught every glimpse of the way you could so easily destroy this big-shot A lister.

“No one else can make you feel this way, right baby?” You purred. “Yes.. fuckkkkk baby yes only you.” You could feel him twitch inside of you while he spoke, he was close. You frowned, “Well that cunt you work with seems to think she owns you.” You pulled yourself off of him, watching him groan with annoyance, his orgasm being denied. “What the fuck? I was close.” Cursing out your name. “Well it’s no fun if we just sit here…” You said, getting off him and leading him to the edge of the boat, your body facing the paparazzi across the water. You bent down in front of him, putting on a show as you pulled down your bikini bottoms. As you did he felt his mouth go dry at the sight of your cunt. You turned back around and moved towards him, arms reaching to grab his hair, suddenly shoving him down on his knees. “Be a good boy and eat me out while your adoring fans watch, maybe then I will let you have what you want.” Your sultry tone doing indescribable things to him.

He started by slowly nibbling and biting at your thighs, hands wrapping around them with ease. You groaned, “Don’t tease me Johnny.” Eyes staring daggers down at him. “Whatever you say…” And with that, he dove right in. His tongue flicking and circling around your clit in ways that could only be described as heavenly. Your hands dug into his hair, shoving his face closer to your aching core. He then moved his mouth down, lapping like a dog at your slick, his nose lightly grazing over your clit, leaving so much more to be desired. Your moans were getting so loud at this point you wouldn't be surprised if everyone on the beach could hear you. “Fuck Johnny, I’m close, you’re doing so good… You look so good on your knees.” Your brain turning to mush as you babble random praises, your orgasm steadily approaching.

And when it hit you were a mess. Moaning out curses and his name, legs turning to jelly. The only thing to stop you from collapsing was his hands, which were glued to your hips. After you finally regained the ability to stand on your own Johnny stood up. Licking the left behind slick on his lips with his tongue. You were about to bark another command at him before he interrupted you. “Agh fuck this. I can't take this anymore.” You were about to question him before he grabbed you, turning you around so he can bend you over on the edge of the boat. He leaned down to whisper in your ear. “Im fucking tired of this, it’s my turn to ruin you, sound good baby?” His voice sent chills down your spine. You nodded, looking at him out of the corner of your eye. He leaned back and soon you felt his cock between your thighs, gliding along your folds. Then, suddenly, the feeling was gone. You turned back to face johnny only to see him walking towards his chair. He grabbed his phone and then winked at you. “For safekeeping yknow?” He finally was back behind you, stroking himself a bit before finally easing himself into you. He groaned your name, taking you fully. You could hardly contain your whimpers when he started moving.

“You look so good on camera, fuck, you should star in one of my films.” He laughed, now moving at a pace all too slow. “I’ll only star in it if I get to fuck you in it.” You responded, releasing a breath that was somewhere between a laugh and a moan. He took his free hand and moved it to your clit, rough fingers circling it at an insane pace. The combination of him pounding into you and hitting that special spot inside if you and him rubbing your clit had you seeing stars. With the way you were moaning and the way your cunt was tightening around his cock he could tell you were close. “You’re so beautiful when you’re whining around my cock.” He chuckled. “F-fuck.. Johnny please I'm so close.” You stuttered out. Suddenly he grabbed you by your hair, pulling you back into his chest. He held the phone out in front of the 2 of you while beginning a relentless pace. “Smile for the camera while you come undone babe. This is your glamour shot.” You could barely focus on what he was saying due to the pleasure that was shooting through your body. He moved his hand from your hair to your neck and squeezed a little. “I said smile.” His tone was stern and that was the last straw. The knot in your stomach snapped and you came, making sure to look into the camera and smile, per his request. Your moans were near pornographic as you shook from your orgasm, falling back onto the edge of the yacht. He pulled out of you and you couldn’t help notice, he still hadn’t cummed. You turned around and glanced down to his still-hard cock and then to his face.

“You gonna come over here and fix this or what?” He questioned, smirking while he spoke. “I guess it’s only fair… you have been so good to me today Johnny.” You turned, falling to your knees. Now eye level with his length. You moved your hands to it, gently stroking your boyfriends dick, trying to see what reactions and noises you could get to come out of his pretty face. You brought your mouth to his tip, doing short kitten licks to his slit. You moved your tongue all over his cock, licking and tenderly tracing every vein with your tongue. “Come on.. don’t punish me more than you already have..” He begged, looking down at you with those puppy dog eyes you just couldn’t resist. “Grab your phone Johnny, let’s see if that whore will understand who you belong to after this.” He was taken aback by your request but nonetheless complied. The moment he started recording you were ready to put on the performance of a lifetime.

Never taking your eyes off the camera, you stuffed his cock into your mouth. Johnny quietly whimpered at the feeling of you taking him in his mouth but before he could savour it, you pulled his dick out of your mouth with a ‘pop’. “Don’t try and quiet those moans Johnny, I need to make sure everyone knows that you’re mine.” He nodded and you eased your mouth back onto him. Johnny had never seen something more beautiful than you choking on his cock. The way your mouth worked had him sure he was in heaven. His breathing sped up and he grabbed your hair. “Fuck i’m so close, let me fuck this pretty face.” You nodded and he gripped your hair tighter. He was so rough, whimpering and crying out with pleasure while shoving his dick as far down your throat as he could. His thrusts started to become sloppy and before you knew it he was painting your throat white and releasing the hottest groans and praises. He pulled his cock out of your mouth and bent down to inspect his work. “You are so gorgeous, I can never get enough of seeing your little mouth filled with my cum.” He smiled, ending the video and throwing his phone to the side while you swallowed.

Safe to say that the internet was going wild for a few months after the paparazzi released those pictures… and safe to say that his stupid co-star didn’t do shit like that again.

[bg-brainrot]

Hugs for a Vampire (Astarion x GN!Reader) - Chapter 9: Before Reaching Baldur's Gate

Chapter 9: Before Reaching Baldur's Gate

Each chapter can be read as a standalone hug.

Pairing: Astarion x GN!Reader (Rogue!Tav)

Genre: Fluffy, Filling in Canon

Rating: Teen

Tags: Gender-Neutral Pronouns, POV Second Person, Act 2, Canon-typical violence, consent, cw: alcohol

WC: 1.7k words, 9/18 chapters

Summary: Set during that one rest between Act 2 and Act 3 -- they talk about consent a bit, establishing their hug-boundaries.

Ao3 | [Hug8][Hug10] | Hugs for a Vampire Masterlist

Tonight you’ve set up camp in a fortress, just one sleep away from your final destination: Baldur’s Gate. You’ve never been so anxious, so excited, felt so many different emotions, just from staring at the city you call home.

It’s been a difficult journey, one that your companions have felt just as deeply as you have. So when you see the city illuminated in the distance, you know it’s a welcome sight for you all– a true victory, one that not even the Absolute can take from you.

As their de facto leader, you know this is a time for the group to celebrate its win. And you just know that the view from the battlements is better than anything you can get from your tents down here. “Hey!” you call out to your group. A few perk up from their nightly routines, several start to walk over. “Who wants to climb that tower over there? I bet you we can see all of Baldur’s Gate from up there.”

It doesn’t take long before the entire party is clamoring up the ladder to reach the heights above you. Not even Gale, who’s making the entire climb through groans and cries about his bad knees, would miss this view.

You’re the first to reach the top, leading the pack up and climbing with practiced efficiency. As soon as you raise your head, your breath catches. It’s beautiful, you think to yourself. And it truly is, lit up like the beacon of hope you know it to be. Home.

As you walk to the edge of the tower, you can hear your companions filing in behind you. “There it is! Even after a decade, it’s lovely as ever!” Karlach extols enthusiastically.

“I’ve only been away for seven years, but my heart is no less elated,” Wyll responds, his eye crinkling in excitement.

“I’ve only been away for a few months, and I don’t understand how adventurers do this for years,” Astarion grumbles. “You both must have backs made of steel to sleep on the ground this often.” He easily takes his place next to you, arms-crossed, shoulder nudging yours ever so slightly as he stops. You nudge back a bit, but continue to stare out into the slumbering city, listening to your companions banter.

Karlach laughs a bit bitterly before saying, “Didn’t have much of a choice. Though I will say that you hardly notice what you’re sleeping on when you’re busy destroying demons.”

“Well, I still notice while destroying cultists,” the vampire responds, voice tinged with annoyance. Then to you he asks, “And what are you so enchanted by?” He leans into you more, and your body ends up at an awkward angle.

“We're so close," you say, simply, allowing yourself to rest on the crenellation next to you for balance. As it so often happens with him, you’re reminded of a cat demanding attention. “Aren’t you looking forward to it?”

He scoffs, lightly jostling you as he does so. “Of course I am, Cazador won’t know what’s coming for him.”

You grin at that, recalling your earlier conversations with Astarion, who was so worried that fighting Cazador would be impossible. Your group has faced the impossible now, facing a mad vampire lord seemed right within your grasp. “Damn right,” you say, finally turning to look at him, only to find his face incredibly close, eyes staring at you intently. “What’s the matter?”

Astarion looks back at the rest of your group, conversing amongst themselves, pointing out buildings in the cityscape, otherwise wholly preoccupied. Satisfied, he turns back to you and pouts. “Darling, would it kill you to hug me every once in a while?”

You startle, what is he talking about? Thinking back, you’re certain you hug him quite a bit, more than once in a while. You say as much, “Love, is your head alright? I swear I gave you a hug just yesterday.”

He continues to lean into you, but keeps his arms firmly crossed. “Yes, of course you hug me back,” he starts, tone explanatory. “But you barely ever hug me first. I can only think of one such instance and, while I much appreciated it, I would appreciate more.”

His words ring true, you realize. You’re not sure how much of it is a choice that you’ve consciously made or if it’s born of your underlying worry. It hasn’t been long since you entered this new phase in your relationship, and the past couple of weeks have been a lot of trial and error to get to a place of some comfort and understanding. As such, you know exactly why you’ve been careful, consciously or not. “I don’t want to touch you if you’re not ready for it,” you say, tilting your head toward his, whispering your words away from the rest of the group.

The vampire freezes a moment, his eyebrows knitting into a look of concern. “While I appreciate the sentiment, darling, a hug isn’t exactly carnal.”

You give him a flat look. “Of course it isn’t,” you respond back. “But it’s still… intimate. You should be allowed to decide when that happens. If you hug me, I know you want it to happen.”

Astarion finally uncrosses his arms, only to rub at his temple in exasperation. “Ugh, you’re being disgustingly considerate,” he says, closing his eyes. “It’s times like this that I wonder how we’ve even gotten this far.”

“Hey!” you exclaim in indignation. Lowering your voice again, you continue, “You know you’re the only one I’m this considerate to. I even told Gale we don’t have time for his little shopping trip.”

The vampire opens his eyes and shoots you a wry smile. “Ah, the very epitome of an unflinching leader. Besides, we both know you’ll give in to him anyway.”

“I will not,” you say, without much conviction.

“Regardless,” he says, holding up a hand. “I appreciate your kindness, but I am not a porcelain doll– as much as I may look it.” Astarion tilts his head up, as if to catch the starlight in his silver hair.

Pursing your mouth, you consider his words. Have I been too careful? “I… know that. I’m sorry, love. I’ll work on that, alright?”

“I know how you could start,” his eyes twinkle at you expectantly. 

“With a hug?”

“Yes, gods, just hug me already.”

Some part of you still worries, still hesitates, but in the light of Astarion’s pleading expression they melt away a bit. Facing the silhouette of the city you both call home, you wrap an arm around him and pull him into your side. “Like this?” you turn to ask him, noses almost touching.

“Mmm, it shall do,” he answers softly, leaning into your hug, touching his nose to yours for a moment before looking out at the city. “What a romantic scene we've stumbled into. I can see why bards write about it.”

You hum in agreement, tilting your head to touch his. “Maybe if we save this gods forsaken city a few bards will pick up our tale.”

“In that case,” he starts, finally wrapping his own arm around you, squeezing you to him. “We’d best make it memorable.”

You stand in each others’ arms for a while, occasionally pointing at the city as you spot places you’d like to share with each other. You’re not sure how long you spend staring out at Baldur’s Gate together before your companions jolt you back to reality.

“Oi! Lovebirds!” You both turn in unison without hesitation to the source of the interruption, Karlach. Her and the rest of the group have gathered back at the ladder.

It’s Shadowheart that responds, “It’s getting a bit chilly up here. What do you say we pop open a bottle of wine and celebrate our return home?”

“As long as it’s not firewine,” you reply, shuddering at the idea of drinking any more of that swill. Pulling Astarion by the torso, you start to move toward the group.

He tugs you back gently, ignoring your questioning eyes to call to the group, “We’ll be down in a bit, not done here quite yet.”

“Suit yourselves! But take too long and I will drink all the good shit!” Karlach says, laughing as she heads down the ladder. The rest follow right behind her, their words and footsteps fading on the night’s breeze.

Once they’ve left, you look back at your lover, eyebrow raised. “And what aren’t we done with yet?”

“Our hug, obviously,” he says, waving his free hand at you. “Or did you really think a paltry one-armed hug would satisfy a man of such appetites?”

You only take a second to process his words before gladly diving into him with both of your arms. You wrap Astarion in an all-encompassing embrace, a vice-grip full of love and warmth. “Better?” you ask, turning your head to the crook of his neck.

“Much,” he sighs into your hair, reciprocating the hug with no hesitation. A moment passes in a silent buzz of happiness, before he speaks again. “I don’t know how to say this without sounding ridiculous,” he begins. “But here, in your arms, it almost feels like I’ve already made it back home.”

Your heart thumps in your chest, but you’ve gotten better at surviving his sincere compliments. “You’re right, I should hug you more often.”

“I knew you would see reason,” he laughs. “And if you're ever worried about hugging me, you're quite welcome to ask. Now, since you always ask so nicely, would you allow me to kiss you?”

Lifting your head from his shoulder, you nod. “Yes, please.”

Astarion smiles at you, an unfiltered joy shining in his eyes. His cool fingers cup your chin as he pulls your face toward his. Your eyes close as your lips meet his in a slow, tender kiss. With the city as your backdrop and this lovely man in your arms, the world feels more focused, your purpose clearer. Baldur’s Gate awaits you, and you’ve never been so eager to answer its call.

[wangxianficfinder]

Fic Finder

Jan 25th

~*~

1. I'm begging to know if you have this fic. Years back, I read a fic where Wei Ying is exiled from the Lan clan and in the process becomes mute kind of (?) by choice. Years-ish later the Lan clan would beg him back to teach the juniors dark arts, and after something he would comply. It's a lot of Lan Zhan trying to apologize and Wei Ying not taking it afterwards, but I do believe it has a good ending. Do you perhaps know what this fic is? I've been trying to dig out the name for a month or so now. @sunshines-child

FOUND? Wei Ying's Destroyed Heart by Belladonna01234 (Wattpad)

~*~

2. hi!!! im looking for a genderbend fic( i think ?) where wwx is set to marry jin guangyao (theyre each others beards) and lwj is the florist, or maybe the other way around. i didnt read it, i only remember those specific things bc of the tags and the summary, but most definitely one of them is the florist at the other's wedding, and they meet and such is life. thank you so much!!!

FOUND! Widow's Weeds by travelingneuritis (E, 18k, wangxian, Modern Cultivation, Gardens & Gardening, Wedding Planning, wedding thwartin, grich people are terrible, Light-Hearted, Smut, Gender Changes, Getting Together, offscreen deaths played for laughs, this is meant to be silly don't worry about it, Scheming, Plotting, wwx and jgy are accidentally-on-purpose bearding each other but i keep it PG, wwx running laps around the entire jin sect)

~*~

3. Hello! I am looking for a fic which I am 90% sure is a WWX/LWJ fic, but there is a 10% chance it might be Keith/Shiro from Voltron (oops, ehe, if so please disregard this ask!). It is a modern au where WWX looks like a rough guy, maybe from a motorcycle gang, and LWJ is a lovely put together businessman. The office where LWJ works begins to notice their boss (LWJ) meeting with tattooed WWX and they think WWX might be up to no good! But WWX is actually a cop or fireman, and he just looks a bit like a road rat. They eat pastries together on their lunch break. Does this ring a bell? I have been looking for ages! Thank you!!!

3 is definitely a Voltron fic if the other blades of Marmora are Keith's fellow cops.

~*~

4. Hi! For fic finder, there is a fic that i only read the summary and a snippet of the story. I didnt read that fic at first because it is not something i usually read, but now its haunting me. Its ice skating au. I think there are "madam yu bashing" In the tag (im not sure). And the snippet i read is NHS beat up WC in secluded place in revenge for WWX. There are no CCTV and NHS said to WC that no one will believe him that NHS beat him up. I know its short, but i really dont know the story. Thank you!

FOUND! enough, for me by doodlebutt (T, 1k, Modern AU) which takes place during chapter 7 of All the shine of a thousand spotlights (M, 60k, WangXian, Modern AU, figure skating, Hurt/Comfort, Mutual Pining, Angst with a Happy Ending, Major Character Injury, Recovery, Getting Together, background relationships - chengqing; xuanli; xiyao, Background Pregnancy, the mortifying ordeal of Talking About Your Feelings, sexually tense pair skating, There Was Only One Bed)

~*~

5. WWX and LZ are flabbergasted to see the other alive: WWX was burning paper money at LZ’s funeral as LZ died protecting him and LZ was attending WWX’s funeral as LZ failed to protect WWX during a nighthunt. The universe did some weird shit that merged the two timelines so now they’re both alive and with each other. I can’t find it anywhere @selena10180

~*~

6. There was this fic, i don't remember, wwx was single and pregnant and his family (i think jiangs or wen? ) was with him? If u could find this fic and more like it?

FOUND? All I Want by Selenay (E, 47k, WangXian, Modern AU, No Powers, Mpreg, Post Holiday Romance, Consequences, Reunions, Idiots in Love, Teacher WWX, Rating earned in later chapters, Handwavey Biology)

FOUND? Nothing but your heart by airinshaw (E, 21k, WangXian, Modern AU, A/B/O Dynamics, Implied Mpreg, First Time, Getting Together, Angst and Drama, Angst with a Happy Ending, Anal Sex, Whump, Breeding Kink) could also be this

~*~

7. hi!! im looking for an unfinished (as of when i read it at least!!) accidental baby acquisition fic where wwx drops a baby (lsz i believe!) off at lwjs door in the middle of the night and disappears — i know thats vague but i dont remember a lot of details? it was a lot of introspection and confusion on lwjs part, kind of OH SHIT i have to look after this baby now n wwx is vanished n idk whats going on. n to my memory in the next chapter or so wwx comes back and is still rlly weird n mysterious n frustrating abt the babys origins n theres wx vibes but lwj is real confused. sorry i dont have more detail but i really hope i can find it!!!

~*~

8. Hi! :D I really hope you can help me find this fic! I have been looking for weeks! it's driving me nuts!

I remember that WWX doesn't die and LXC help him live hidden in CR using the identity of a Lan that has died, WWX is taking care of LWJ/is LWJ's servant, there is a scene where they are in Lanling (I think) and WWX has befriended some of the servants there, him and one? of them are talking about WWX's feelings for LWJ/if LWJ love WWX/or something like that, and then LWJ is there, I'm pretty sure they go somewhere else and confess to e/o

FOUND! Unbreakable Heaven, Luminous Earth by carolyncaves (M, 96k, wangxian, Canon Divergence, Secret Identity, almost to the point of uncomfortable identity theft, Sharing a Bed, Literal Sleeping Together, Mutual Pining, Getting Together, Suicidal Thoughts, that's for WWX after Nightless City and is not pervasive throughout the fic, Blood and Injury, Hurt/Comfort, Caretaking, Sexual Content, Domestic Fluff, Angst with a Happy Ending, Power Imbalance, mainly between WWX and JGY in an entirely nonsexual manner, this isn't really a kid fic but the kids are there, as are some yunmeng sibling feelings, JYL lives, Not Everyone Dies AU, some COVID parallels, this is not a quarantine fic, but thematically WWX deals w things like face-covering for safety and loss of control, also assume all canon warnings, this AU is gentler than canon but isn't a complete fix-it)

~*~

9. Hi hi! Thanks for your wonderful recommendations always! I’m looking for a wangxian fic where WWX has a breakdown in the lotus pier courtyard and the vibes are like “I’ve tried so hard for so long and for what; I can’t anymore; I’m so alone” and the Jiangs are like “… oh shit” and then treat him better after that and help him bear the burdens. (I can’t remember if WWX is a dragon also?) @vi-sky

#9 while the suggestion is great I don’t think this is the fix I was looking for. I don’t think the Jiangs find out about anything until WWX has the breakdown in the courtyard, and I think he kept it to himself for awhile as opposed to his breakdown being chapter 1 in the recommended.

NOT FOUND! 🧡 (Un)Hidden truth by Sarah_R (M, 198k, WIP, WangXian, Suicide attempt, Time Travel, Hurt/comfort, Angst, Self-Harm)

~*~

10. Hello! I can't remember much details but I think lan zhan lands on an unfamiliar planet, there he meet wei ying. Wei ying appearance is different, his body i think is color pink? or blue or like galaxy (눈▽눈) I 'm not really sure but he is not human , also wei ying is shy at first and then warm up eventually. Wahh thank you in advance!

~*~

11. Hello! For fic finder: I am trying to find a fic I read recently (within the last 6 months or so) where Wei Wuxian cultivates a resentful energy core but it was held outside his body in the Yin Tiger Tally. Lan Wangji doesn’t know that, so he convinces Wei Wuxian to give up the Tiger Tally as a gesture of peace. Everyone gathers around to watch and are horrified when as Wei Wuxian crushes the Tiger Tally in his hand and the Tally crumbles to dust, Wei Wuxian keels over in terrible agony at losing his core a second time. I think Wangji rushes over to help but Wen Qing pushes him away. It wasn't Decay by antebunny (although that is a good fic!!). Any thoughts? Thank you!

~*~

12. hi I just remembered a fic in modern verse where Wei Ying boarded a flight that disappeared mid air and landed after 10+ yrs and Lan Zhan comes to pick up from the airport once he gets the news. I can't seem to find it can you please help and thanks for your efforts its bought me across many amazing fanfics

FOUND! 看客散去唯你我不忘 | the world forgets but i still remember you by prettyxianxian (T, 11k, wangxian, Modern, Flashbacks, POV Multiple, Angst with a Happy Ending, Hurt/Comfort, Everyone Lives AU, Insecurities à la WWX, manifest au, JC & WWX Reconciliation, Good Parent YZY, Good Parent JFM)

~*~

13. Hello!! I'm looking for a fic that I was sure i had reblogged but now I can't find it anywhere 😔 It was on tumblr not ao3. LWJ is sex-cursed and he has to be touched by the person he loves. It was during the burial mound days and WWX is isolated from the cultivation world, and also LWJ refuses to ask him for help for that, he'drather die. LXC finds out and takes an unconscious LWJ to the burial mounds and gives him a day to tell WWX on his own or LXC will do it, and LWJ only agrees because he intends to run away before WWX finds out why he's there @kokobabee

FOUND! Tumblr Fic by @jingyismom

~*~

14. Hello! I badly need help. I've been looking for this fic. I think it was like 5+1 or something where other people learn that Sizhui is Hanguangjun's son and that one time that Wei Wuxian did. I remember some of the 5+1 was a scene with a vendor, another scene with Ouyang-zongzhu in a nighthunt and I'm not sure if Jiang Wanyin was also one of them. But yeah, I've tried all keywords I could think of but I just can't find it. I hope you can help me. Thank you so much for all your efforts.

~*~

15. Hello I am looking for a fic where the world agrees to not kill Wei Ying if he marries and dual cultivates with someone and it's LWJ @calamityisalve

~*~

16. I am looking for a fic where wangxian invite the cultivation world to their wedding but wei wuxian and Lan shizui get badly hurt during the hunt before the wedding. The wedding is postponed and I think it had a scene where they fell down a waterfall? Please find it for me🙏

~*~

17. Hiiii!!!! I’m looking for a Twitter thread fic about a Warprize Lwj ABO Au where he became a consort to wen zhuliu? I think it was him, anyway, he gave birth a-yuan but a-yuan was actually Wwx son. I remember there was quote retweeted art of the thread fic where Wwx was standing over a-yuan’s cradle.

If you actually manage to find it a million thanks!!! @silent-taco

FOUND? Twitter thread by @cerbykerby, art by @hellinglaozu

FOUND? 🔒 Poison series by Cy_an_Blue, NiceElsa (E, 30k, wangxian, Gods & Goddesses, God WWX, God LY, A/B/O, Alpha WWX, Omega LY, Pre-Relationship wangxian, Implied/Referenced Forced Marriage, Implied/Referenced Bottom LWJ, Omega LWJ, Alpha LXC, Married WangXian with kids, Dark, War Prize LWJ, Forced Pregnancy, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Not by WangXian, Adultery, Cheating, Threats of Violence, Threats of Child Abuse/Murder, Implied/Referenced Domestic Violence, Angst with a Happy Ending, Canon-Typical Violence, Canon-Typical Gore, Smut, Mpreg, Pregnancy, Pregnant Sex, Mating Cycles/In Heat, Endgame Wangxian, Post Mpreg, post pregnancy, Protective LQR, Gūsū Lán Elders Bashing)

~*~

18. Hello! I hope you can help me find this one, because I’m not having much luck; Wei Ying agrees to do what the sects want in exchange for the Lan sect taking in the Wen. He is basically imprisoned in the Unclean Realm and can’t practice demonic cultivation, and over time Nie Huaisand and Nie Mingjue start to warm up to him.

I think the one scene I remember most is a scene where Lan Huan asks Wei Ying if he can play for Nie Mingjue but Wei Ying says he can’t and admits that he has no golden core after making Lan Huan promise to keep it a secret. Hope this helps?

FOUND? Always walked a very thin line by tucuxi (T, 22k, WangXian, NHS & WWX, JYL & WWX, Depression, Anxiety Attacks, Canon Divergence, Everyone Lives/Nobody Dies, Self-Worth Issues, Slow Burn, Oblivious WWX, Golden Core Reveal, WWX Has No Golden Core, Chronic Pain, Chronic Illness)

~*~

19. 你好! I've been looking for a fic with mute wei ying? (mute by choice, I believe). I cannot remember much, but I do remember that Wei Ying is exiled by the Gusu Lan clan, led by Lan Zhan himself. He's later called back to teach the juniors lessons on Demonic cultivation, where they found out after many years of choosing not to talk, he's kind of lost his voice. I don't know if you could find this fic, but it's been plaguing my brain for awhile now.

~*~

20. Hi! Searching for a fic where omegaxian is the assistant physician of Wen Qing and then Emperor (not sure if emperor or just a prince) Alphaji want him immediately as his consort. Wen qing and other people protested and told alphaji that omegaxian is not available because he is only a physician.

I remember it being a threadfic in X (twitter)

Thank you so much

~*~

[pinkscaped]

wait omg myah please please PLEASE tell us more abt myrah’s career after allume (and maybe during too 🤭) i js NEED to hear more abt her !

MYRAH YAMAZAKI is a Japanese K-pop idol and global icon based in South Korea. She made her initial debut in the rotational girl group ALLUME in 2005 as the group's leader and lead vocalist until her generation's graduation in 2010. Myrah is often credited for making ALLUME as popular as they are, achieving international stardom during this time for her strong attitude and natural star quality. Her run in Allume would be dubbed "Myrah and Friends" by fans due her popularity often overshadowing her groupmates.

Myrah would immediately begin a solo career after her 2010 graduation, destroying both the Korean charts and Japanese charts with the mini album HAUTE TOPIC. HAUTE TOPIC would break records for having all four tracks debut in the Top 10 on Melon. Moonlight, Chase Me, Starlight, and Kitty Kat would all break into the top ten and remain there for a solid five months. Myrah's solo career would be proflic and global, debuting in Japan shortly after her Korean solo debut where she would destroy the charts there as well. She would be the highest-performing Flowerbank soloist ever until the acquisition of Baebi's contract in 2023.

Myrah is still a high profile celebrity, starring in a handful of blockbuster films, critically acclaimed dramas, and becoming the face of many luxury brands through out the years. She is also the head of the creative board in Flowerbank Entertainment, owning an impressive amount of stocks in the company. She has been the host of the radio show AllTalkMe for over ten years now, keeping her and Allume relevant over the years.

ﾞ . ✩ . ' ۫           INFORMATION!

STAGE NAME :: MYRAH

BIRTH NAME :: Myrah Yamazaki

Birthday :: December 1st 1987

Zodiac :: Sagittarius 

Birthplace :: California

Hometown :: Osaka, Japan

Ethnicity :: Japanese

Nationality :: American-Japanese

Faceclaim :: Devon Aoki

Height :: 175 cm || 5′9

ﾞ . ✩ . ' ۫           VIRAL MOMENTS!

"I don't think people realize we haven't actually had sex...I wish but we're acting, guys." One of her first viral moments as an actress was in 2016 during the press tour for A Man and a Woman with her co-star Gong Yoo. Myrah and Gong Yoo would go on to have a public relationship that would often have them going viral for their cute and funny moments. To fans' dismay, the pair would split in late 2020.

When she snatched Sooah's mic from her during a concert, singing her lines and high notes. "My mic wasn't working. It's not like she sings much anyways," Myrah would go on to say in an interview, fueling the fire of rumors about the two having a feud during their time in Allume. After this, Sooah would noticeably clutch her microphone whenever Myrah would walk by her.

"How could I not like her? I've never spoken to her. I love 2ne1. Shut up." Myrah would shut down rumors of her and CL of 2ne1 having beef, telling a fan to shut up when they spoke negatively of her. Shot in glorious 2009 iPhone quality, the video would make its round around the internet. A week later, Myrah would post a selfie with CL on her blog with the caption "My bestiiiiii~ ^-^ <3" and the two are still close to this day.

She put her hand up in Gdragon's face when he attempted to sing to her at the 2013 MAMA Awards. It was a lighthearted interaction, Myrah laughing the whole time, but the internet took it differently and deemed her "a rude bitch" and VIPS would begin to harass her. This would have very little effect on Myrah as she would go on to post a couple of photos of her with T.O.P and Gdragon in the studio with the caption: "I lovvveee rappers!! (*^^*)♡"

"She's a bitch! A hot one though!" Myrah would shout out her car window when she was escorted out of a club by Flowerbank CEO Kim Iseul. Myrah was a bit of a club-goer post-Allume, often having to be picked up by friends or, on rare occasions, her CEO. When asked by paparazzi about her thoughts on Iseul having to pick her up, prompting her to say her now most iconic line.

[desswright29]

The Golden Stairs

Pairing: Shuri X Reader

Word Count: 6.3k

Contains: Fluff (hella fluffy), Some angst, and Smut, romantic proposal 🥰, Shuri is in looove!

A/n: I wrote and deleted this several times over the past month. This story stomped me in my chest, grabbed me by my hair and banged my head against the wall! But I wrote it cause I love y’all.

Please enjoy! 😄

Y/n pov

My heart rate increased as I sat in the car releasing short and quick puffs of air to control my erratic breathing. Palms sweaty and limbs shaking, I glanced into the side mirror to see if my eyes had deceived me. They had not. There she stood in all of her regality, stuck in the center of the sidewalk, hands intertwined infront of her body as she stared into space. She rocked a low cut now, making her look attractively mature; and the black and white suit did her all the more justice. Even with all of that, she looked lost. I pulled my eyes from the mirror as they began to burn from the tears threatening to fall. Why was she here? Why today of all days, would she show up! Ofcourse she would, It was classic Shuri to show up and shift my atmosphere on what was supposed to be the happiest day of my life. No! It is indeed the happiest day of my life! I won’t allow her to get inside of my head. I get a handle on my breathing, remembering how Shuri destroyed me. Destroyed us! I’ve moved on and I’m receiving the love I deserve. So, fuck her! 

“Baby.” A soft baritone called from the drivers side of the car, releasing me from my mental torment. A tear involuntarily escaped my eye as I turned to look at my new husband, plastering on the best smile I could muster. “You ok? What’s going on Peaches?” The concern etched onto his face while he comfortingly gripped my hand, caused a slight ache in my chest. He was always so good to me, so patient. How dare I still care for Shuri. “Of course! I’m just overwhelmed my love. This has been such a beautiful day. I can’t believe we’re married now! We made it Mike!” I laugh wiping away the tears that fell for her, trying to lighten the mood as I attempted to push the thoughts of her away. Don’t mistake my shock for unhappiness with my situation. Michael has been nothing short of amazing from the moment he began to pursue me. He consistently handled my heart with care, and gave me grace from the side effects of the trauma my relationship with Shuri had caused. He loved me whole, and never left room for doubt. Still, seeing Shuri after so long, brought long forgotten emotions back to the forefront. Now, I can’t help but think about how this should’ve been us.

—————————————————————————

 3 years Ago

  No matter how often you’d been granted access into Wakanda, your mind could never quite comprehend the magnitude of its beauty. Your eyes were bright with wonder as you watched the towering buildings of Capital City twinkle in the night sky. They whisked by as you were driven through the city streets in the Royal Rolls Royce. To think that this country was a testament to the inconceivable intellect of your woman always baffled you. The thought of her belonging to you made you swell with pride. 

It had been two years and 5 months since she’d placed her heart on her sleeve for you in the parking lot of a club. Likely one of her lowest moments, but she’d put her pride aside to fight for you. Baring her soul, making promises of placing the world at your feet. Fittingly, you were skeptical after all that had transpired. So you made her work for your time and effort. Putting pressure on her that could build warriors. Every grand gesture was met with push back, every slick word, met with skepticism and rebuttal. If she was going to have you, It was going to be pure and honest. All of the requisite steps to protecting your heart had been taken. You kept it up until you eventually broke her.

After months of her pouring her all into the extended apology, you both lie side by side on a plush blanket; one completely disconnected from the other. A navy gradient was the backdrop for a full moon; the night sky so clear you could almost see every crater. You both stared up into a blanket of star’s, as the vodka clear lake shimmered, luminescent in the moons glow. A picnic basket filled with all of your favorites seperated the two of you, along with flowers Shuri had hand picked herself. Fairy lights hung from the trees surrounding you, rose petals spread sporadically across the blanket while four lanterns illuminated each corner. 

Another perfectly planed date was coming to an end. Shuri made sure to cross every T and dot every I, and still you showed minimal interest. Hardly engaging in conversation, Nitpicking the food and quite frankly you seemed bothered to be around her. Quiet. The crickets chirped, and the water was still. Staggered breathing, and a sniffle caught your attention; and you turn to look at Shuri just in time to catch the moonlight highlight the lone tear falling down her cheek into her ear. Jaw clenching and trembling as she swallowed, trying to hold back a sob. God! She even made crying look glorious. 

“What are we doing?” Her voice trembled and broke, betraying her strong front. She didn’t make a move to look in your direction. “Well, I’m just waiting on you to take me ho-“ Shuri cut you off, sitting up abruptly. “Stop! Stop it y/n!” Her voice raised in a desperate plea. “I c-can’t keep doing this.” Her hands shot up to her uniformed curls, pushing them back from her forehead in a frenzy, as though she couldn’t stand the feel of them against her skin. Her anxiety in the moment causing sensory issues. “I understand I hurt you, but you said you’d give me a fair chance, baby y-you don’t seem to want this. Ndiyakuthanda, ngako konke endinako (I love you, with all I have). Giving so much of myself and watching you not want it. Is killing me.” 

“Shuri-“

“Wait.” She released a shaky breath “I’m giving it my all uthando (love), It would tear me to peices to watch you walk away, but I’m doing the work. I need to know will it ever be enough.” Now sitting up, you stared out at the water, tears running down your cheeks. “This.. this is all so perfect Shuri. This date and every other one you put effort into. All of the gifts were well thought out. Nothing gaudy or over the top. You’ve been perfection. What I’m saying is, I see your effort, I see the changes in you, I’ve appreciated and enjoyed every single moment we’ve spent together. But, I’m so scared Shuri. So afraid of the love I have for you. It’s all consuming. I look into those eyes Shuri and I want to melt into you. I want to let go of the fear and breathe you in, bask in this feeling of being loved carefully, and protectively. But every single fucking time  there’s this feeling of impending doom.” You look straight into her eyes, wanting to make your next point exceedingly clear. “I can’t allow you to believe that it would ever be ok for you to treat me the way you did before. If you want me, I want it to be only me Shuri. Don’t play games with my heart.” Shuri’s head began to shake fervently side to side. 

“I wish I’d never been so careless with your heart intombi eswiti (sweet girl). It took some time to recognize my mistakes. To see past my own selfishness, but I would give up everything if it meant I could finally call you mine officially. I’d give the air from my lungs for that honor. Only if it’s what you want too. I could allow you to walk away right now, if that is what would make you happy. However, I’d always be waiting for you. You placed the love back into my heart and then you took it as your own. I belong to you. So, I’m begging you y/n. Be with me. I want the chance to cherish you as my woman. I want to take my time with your heart. Continue learning to give you the love I know that you want and deserve from me. My ego has long been placed aside sthandwa. I love you y/n.” 

You’d pulled your legs into your chest, hugging your shins, and sobbing into your knees. Shuri moved in front of you, sitting legs spreading excepting you inbetween them, she grabbed both sides of your face, pulling your head up to face her. Both of your eyes were swollen and red, wet and dry tears coating your faces. “I love you, I love you, I love you” She repeated, you could hear her heart pour from her voice as she stared into your deep brown irises. You finally break falling into her arms. She held you in her arms,  pressing your head against her chest. She rocked you like a baby as she continued to reassure you. Kissing your forehead, speaking words of affirmation as you cried together. That night you would officially become hers. Mind, Body, and Soul.

————————————————————————

It’d been two years to the day, and Shuri had kept her word; becoming all you could have asked for and things you could have never imagined. With you by her side she’d become the most noted ruler of Wakanda. Yes, Ofcourse with the worlds obsession with attractiveness, the whispers around the world began from Shuri’s first live press conference in America. It was said that Wakanda had the most beautiful, androgynous Queen anyone had ever seen; who had a swagger that could bring any man or woman to their knees. But then, Shuri consistently began breaking through ceilings of limitations people placed upon her. 

Politicians saw her and expected some young suave, conceited, scientist that however intelligent, was unfit to rule.  It was an easy and popular consensus. However, She was not only intelligent, she was the smatest person in the world, She spoke with the power and authority of Romanda, She was strong, compassionate, and open minded as T’challa had been, But cross her or her people and she could easily summon her inner N’jadaka. Anyone who had ever doubted her felt regret every moment of her reign as Queen. She OOZED power. But she had a weakness.

You quickly rose to fame. Becoming a Queen in your own right, having a work ethic like no one had ever seen. Being a genius level engineer had worked in your favor in the industry. Not only were you surpassing all other artist in lyricism and vocal ability; Your shows were a site to behold. You and Shuri created the most elaborate sets, and people lined up for miles to witness your greatness. People had tried to account your success with your connection to the Queen, until it became apparent that your talent was undeniable. Your life with Shuri was what dreams where made of. Wakanda loved and excepted you as though you were their own. You created peace for Shuri, creating a calm joy in her that she never believed she would have again. She was grounded by you. The sound of your voice, your innocent smile, hell just the mention of your name brought an uncontainable smile to her face. Your relationship with Shuri became the embodiment of what love should be. 

The car coming to a stop jarred you out of your thoughts. As your driver exited the car, you reach for your purse pulling out your compact mirror to check your make up. It was perfection, courtesy of Shuri. You’d flown into Wakanda this morning after celebrating the last show of your 6 month tour with your crew. She hadn’t been able to make the show which wasn’t a rare occurrence for either of you with both of your demanding schedules, but you both always made it up to one another. This time you were pretty sure that Shuri was planning something unecessarily extravagant for your anniversary so you were a bit more understanding than usual. You had been correct. As soon as you’d landed you were greeted with staff whisking you off to a day of pampering. Nakia, and Aneka accompanied you. 

There was brunch, massages, mani’s and pedi’s and you decided to get your natural hair in a wash and go. You’d come back home hoping to finally see Shuri but were met with a beautiful nude gown that was covered in Swarovski crystals and had a split traveling all the way up your thigh to the hip.  There was a full glam squad waiting on you and you were told you’d be meeting Shuri at a recently opened restaurant in the inner city. As always Shuri had gone above and beyond! You shut your mirror placing it back into your bag and adjust your dress.

The door to the car was opened and you gracefully place your heeled foot onto the pavement below you to exit the car. An unexpected gasp came from your throat as you take in your surroundings. In front of you was the most magnificent grand staircase that appeared to be made of solid gold and vibranium. Various cultural symbols from Wakanda were carved into them. At the bottom of the stairs, Two men in traditional Wakandan garb from the golden tribe waited with single white roses with golden stems. 

The driver offered you his arm, and you took it still wide eyed, at the beautifully unique staircase. You met the two men at the bottom of the stairs. The driver released you and stepped back with a slight nod, signaling the men to take over, as he walked away. The men handed you the roses. “Good evening, Ms. Y/l/n” They both say. One offered you his arm while the other stepped behind holding your small train. As you stepped forward onto the first stair, the symbols on the stairs glowed white revealing the symbols were placed strategically, ultimately creating a large portrait of 2 Queens face to face. Violins began to swell, as a holographic wall appears infront of you. 

If I Ain’t Got you. Written by Shuri Udaku  

Appeared on the wall in front of you as you continued up the steps. It disappeared only to be replaced with a photo of you and Shuri. You immediately giggle at the memory. It was the first official picture taken of you both as a couple. Courtesy of Nakia. You’d spent all night christening your new relationship, and she thought it’d be funny to snap a picture of your irritated faces as she burst in on your “honeymoon” the next morning. You and Shuri’s face both mirrored irritatation, as you sat snuggled into her lap with a blanket covering you both. Various pictures continued to scroll into the night sky with each step you took. Your heart rate was slowly increasing as piano now began to accompany the violins as you ascended the stairs. 

At the height of the stairs, your breath catches in your throat and your eyes glass over. “No way this is happening” A large fountain spreads across the massive courtyard of a white and gold building, water jutted out like geysers on both sides of a glass pathway through the center of the pool. The walkway illuminated by lighting, different shades of white and purple, which happened to be yours and Shuri’s favorite color. As breathtaking as the sight was, it paled in comparison to the view of your friends and family surrounding the marble courtyard. Seated on either side of the pool there was a full orchestra, and lines of people waiting for you with white roses with golden stems. Your eyes brimmed with tears. 

A voice rang out, causing you to look ahead that’s when you finally noticed Alicia freaking Keys sitting at a piano in the front of the fountain. The lyrics of the song appeared above her like subtitles as she sang. Your friends and family began to walk up to you each handing you a rose smiling from ear to ear. Giving little comments like “You’re so beautiful” or “Get it girl”. Some were already in tears. 

Some people live for the fortune

Some people live just for the fame

Some people live for the power, yeah

Some people live just to play the game

Some people think

That the physical things

Define what's within

And I've been there before

That life's a bore

So full of the superficial

Listening to the lyrics your girlfriend wrote, your heart swelled. You almost stopped paying attention to the people handing you flowers, until at the end of the lines of people you see your mother and your sister practically beaming at you. As soon as you see them you let out a soft sob slightly bending at the waist. Your sister ran up to you. Grabbing you into a hug. She pulled tissues from her bag and gently dabbed your eyes. “You look so beautiful sister, don’t mess up your beautiful make up before she see’s you.” She says with a tear escaping her own eye. Your mother reached you both, face beaming with pride as she grabbed your hand squeezing. “Mommy! Dani! H-how?” 

“She’s been planning this since you went on tour. Well she got us involved at that point, but something tells me she’s been planning this day from the moment you said yes to being her girlfriend.” Your mother stated gesturing in amazement at the everything Shuri had put together. Her and your sister share an amused chuckle. “How did everyone get here? I was just with my crew before I got on my flight.” You were amazed and confused. “She sent jets Ofcourse” Your sister rolled her eyes and laughed at how casually she was able to say that. Shuri had sent 15 jets to locations only disclosed to the people you held closest to your heart. That would be family, best friends, and your main crew from work that was always with you. She’d made sure they were greeted by her and comfortably housed for their stay. The things your love was capable of. “Come on” She said grabbing your arm as your mother grabbed the other. “Pay attention” She says, as they walk you to the edge of the fountain to continue watching Alicia perform with the orchestra and pictures of you and Shuri continue to appear. 

Some people search for a fountain

Promises forever young

Some people need three dozen roses

And that's the only way to prove you love them

Hand me the world on a silver platter

And what good would it be

With no one to share, with no one who truly cares for me

Some people want it all

But I don't want nothing at all

If it ain't you, baby

If I ain't got you, baby

Some people want diamond rings

Some just want everything

But everything means nothing

If I ain't got you, you, you

Your head lay on your mothers shoulder as your sister continuously dabs at your eyes, and checks your makeup. The doors to the building opened and twelve Dora file out six heading right and six heading left in single file lines. Once they get in position they faced center. And then there she was. Shuri. Okoye to the left of her and Nakia to the right of her. Your eyes immediately connect with hers as the music began to swell. Shuri began walking towards the other end of the path as the Dora threw their arms across their chest in salute as she walked past. She was stunning in a simple black suit tailored to perfection with a diamond harness, and her heeled boots. You loved when Shuri wore heels. Your sister squeezed your arm, and you lifted your head to look at her, she took your flowers, and they both looked at you eyes watering smiles setting their faces aglow. “Go on, baby. Go get your woman.” Your mother says. You smile, turning seeing that Shuri was standing at the end of the pathway waiting for you. You take a deep breath, and step onto the glass as Shuri does the same. Swallowing, you walk toward the love of your life, your gorgeous gown flowing behind you, as water shot into the sky beside you with each step you both took. 

If I ain't got you with me, baby, oh, ooh

Said nothing in this whole wide world don't mean a thing

If I ain't got you with me, baby

You now stood face to face with Shuri. Your body shaking with anticipation. Nerves getting the best of you already. Her eyes were glassed over already holding back tears. She let out a deep calming breath grabbing both of your hands.

“Molo mntu omhle (Hello Beautiful)” Her voice echoed throughout the area so that everyone could hear. You offer her a soft smile as you let out a wet exhale. Her eyes sparkled as she looked down into your eyes. “I’m sure you’ve gathered what is happening by now.” She smiles, and giggles were heard around the yard. “ I was inside the building kind of panicking, because I wanted to do this from the heart.” She let go of one of your hands placing her right hand over her heart. “So I didn’t write anything and my mind was going blank in there because I’m nervous as hell!” More laughter erupted as you let out a chuckle. She grabs your hand again. 

“I knew though, that once I was in your presence, everything I needed to say would come rushing at me. You’ve always had that effect on me. In my position I have to always be strong, logical, unemotional. But with you I’m just Shuri. To everyone else I’m The Black Panther, and to you I’m just Kitty.” She shakes her head at everyone’s laughter. “I can’t believe I said that outloud. When I met you, I was searching for something, little did I know it was someone. The girl of my dreams. The one who would unapologetically give all of her love to me. You stood beside me as a friend, and I knew that I could always depend on you, that anything life threw at me you’d be there beside me. You’ve been my strength when I wanted to give in. I could spend a lifetime showing you how special you are to me. You made it easy for me in the loneliest times of my life. I knew the moment I saw you dance I wanted to marry you. Cause damn.” 

She bit her lip grinning and nodding to herself. You softly hit her arm. “Move it along perv.” You say as laughter filled the area. “But really, everything about you seemed so familiar to me. The feel of your hands, the way you felt in my arms. If I could go back in time, I’d tell you thank you. Let you know your as beautiful now as you were then. Hold your hands just like I’m doing now. The same hands I’ll hold in front of a minister, the same hands that’ll carry my son and his sister. I’d thank you for the first kiss in three weeks, for when we make love in six weeks. For the ring you’d wear proudly 3 years from then. For when you say I do in fall and for those beautiful children of ours. I know it would sound strange because we would have just met. But I’d be thanking you in advance.” There wasn’t a dry eye in the room. At this point you were trying not to hyperventilate. 

Shuri with her own tears streaming down her face, licked her lips and let out a puff of air before continuing “We’ve been through so much intombi yam (my girl) we’ve laughed, like when you had that show in Georgia and as we left the arena someone in traffic was playing “wipe me down” and you climbed on the roof of our moving car just in time to yell” Everybody in the crowd yells it out as Shuri says it “B.O.O.S.I.E  B.A.D.A.Z.Z THATS ME!” The crowd was roaring as you did a little twerk as they sang. Shuri threw her head back laughing. Everyone had saw that video, it went viral and was on every news station across the world. “You pissed Okoye off that day. But that’s what I love about you. You’re fearless and nobody makes me laugh like you. We’ve cried. In the beginning I didn’t go about us in the best way. And I’ll spend the rest of our lives making that up to you, if you’ll have me.” She got down on one knee, and you let out choked sobs. “As Queen and Black Panther. I kneel to no one. But today and forever after I kneel to you humbly. Y/f/n will you do me the honor of being my lifetime partner, my wife, my Queen.” She pulled out a box opening it to reveal one large oval diamond with a vibranium band with clustered diamonds. You were absolutely speechless. All you could manage was a breathless “yes” as you nodded.

Shuri smiled big sliding the ring onto your finger before standing and scooping you into her arms, holding you by your waist as you grabbed her face placing kisses all over before finally connecting your lips as she spun you in circles. Fireworks started to go off as you heard “ Happily Ever After” by Case began to play in the back ground. That was one of your favorite songs. You pull back looking into her eyes. “I’m so in love with you”

“I hope so fiancé.” she says as she finally placed you on your feet. As soon as she placed you on your feet your mom and your sister rushed you. “Let me see the ring!!“ your sister yells. You proudly hold out your hand as you guys scream and jump around together “OH MY GOD that is beautiful sister! You did your big one with this one sis! Big Panther not the lil one!” She said turning towards Shuri and hugging her. Shuri stepped back and popped her lapel “Well you know” You all share a laugh as your mom pops your sisters arm.  “Danielle act like you got some sense!” Your mom says as she hugs you. “I’m so happy for you y/n. You seem to be in wonderful hands.” She turns to Shuri giving her a hug. “Thank you for loving my daughter the way you do. I’m so happy to welcome you as my bonus daughter. You’ve got plenty of family now, so visit as often as you can.” Shuri teared up a bit more going in for another hug with your mother. “Of course we will. You won’t be able to get rid of me” 

Nakia, Okoye, Aneka, and Ayo all come up and embrace you giving you congrats and gawking at the ring. Nakia pulls you to the side, holding your hand as Shuri and M’Baku teased one another. “Thank you y/n for loving her the way you do.” You gave a soft smile. “I don’t have a regret in the world Nakia.” She steps up and engulfs you in a long embrace. 

————————————————————————

The rest of the night was filled with drinking, laughter, music, dancing, pictures and congratulations. You and Shuri had finally entered the sanctity of your second home. Both of you heading straight toward the bedroom upon entering your home. Entering the bedroom you’re surprised once again to see that Shuri had had it decorated for the night while you both were out. Candles lit up the room, with rose petals and balloons. There was a large assortment of fruit with whipped cream, honey, and chocolate sauce lined across the top of the tray, and a bottle of champagne with two glasses, sitting at the center of the bed.  “Baby I can’t cry anymore tonight. I’m going to turn into a puddle.” You’d already started crying. She walked up to you pressing her body against yours, placing a soft kiss to your lips “Nwabela usuku lwakho owaqala ngalo iqabane” (happy anniversary fiancé). 

“Happy Anniversary sweet lady” You bite your lip as Shuri bit hers smiling and blushing. She began helping you out of your dress and you both collapsed onto the bed.  Shuri sat up straight on the headboard as you straddled her lap nuzzling your head into her neck, nothing but your panties on, as she absentmindedly massaged your back.

“Shuri”

“Hm”

“You’re beautiful. Everything about you.” You sit up looking into her eyes. “You never cease to amaze me, and I am so proud of you and how far you’ve come my love. How far we’ve come together. Today was beautiful. I couldn’t have dreamed of a proposal more perfect. You caught me completely off guard. I’m so thankful that I get to call you mine for the rest of our lives baby. You have my heart forever.” Shuri with tears in her eyes closed the distance kissing you with a slow passion. Gently, she laid you onto your back as the kiss became hungrier, hands roaming your body with intention. Every touch meant to cause pleasure. “I’m going to give you my all tonight.” Is all she said before she pulled away from you completely. She removed her harness and her suit jacket and you weren’t surprised to see there was nothing underneath. But all the same your core leaked with want and your mouth began to water. 

Shuri hovered over your body, bottom lip trapped between her teeth as she lowered herself onto you maneuvering her head to settle into the crook of your neck. She inhaled deeply taking in your scent, slowly she began licking the area where your neck and jaw connect. She lapped at it like a cat three times before giving it a hard pulsing suck. Drawing out a long moan from your throat. She pulled back and stared deep into your eyes. You looked up at her; your juicy lips slightly ajar, want written all over your face. That’s when you witnessed it. Her usual deep dark brown irises, turned green. Pupils turning vertical,  like slits as her inner feline came out to play. You gasped. Heart rate increasing in excitement. This was new.

Suddenly, you hear a ‘KHOOOAAA’ sound and a cool sensation hitting your nipples. You gasp looking down to see Shuri applying whipped cream to your breast. You’d been so distracted by her eyes that you’d totally missed her reach for the can. “Baby w-what are you doing?” “Making a sundae.” she says with a wink as she placed down the cool whip and grabs the honey.  She takes the bowl of honey and the honey dipper from the tray. Using the honey dipper she placed honey over top of the whipped cream. And then with a sly smile made a trail all the way down your body. You looked at her as you bit down on your lip. “Baby I’m gonna be all sticky”

“Kulungile (it’s ok). I want to get sticky and wet tonight” She winked, and you let out a moan. 

“You like that huh, my dirty dirty girl” Shuri grabbed a half of a peach from the tray placing whipped cream and honey on top of it as well. 

“Shuri what are you doing?” She looked over at you and tsked twice. 

“Patience is a virtue my dear.” In seconds she’s back over top of you with the peach placed on your lips. “Open for me.” You opened your mouth like a good girl. As she places the peach inside. “Have a snack, while I have my meal” You bite into the peach as Shuri starts on your breast still holding the peach to your mouth. You moan looking down at her as she cleaned up the pretty mess she made all over your body. You take the peach from her hand so that she could concentrate on her meal. “Fuuck Shuri” you whisper. She looks up at you mouth messy with whipped cream and honey. Her cheeks sucked in as she gives your nipple a hard suck and releases it with a pop, getting rid of the last bit of cream. “Haaaa” you moan out. “That must be one delicious peach.” Smirking at her you take another messy bite of the peach. It’s juices running down your chin. Cream coating the corners of your mouth. Staring right into her hungry eyes you give each side of your mouth a lick. 

Shuri comes up only for a moment to suck the juice from your chin and bottom lip, before continuing her path down your body. Making it down to your lace panties she took them between her teeth and with a low growl she gave one hard yank pulling them from your body. Sitting up with your black lace panties trapped between her teeth, mouth shiny from honey and traces of whipped cream. She looked sexily rabbid and you wished you could take a picture and hang it on your bedroom wall. Turning her head to the side, not taking her eyes off of you, she opened her mouth allowing the panties to drop out of her mouth. You felt your slick pool out into the crack of your ass. 

“Mmm. Panther I need you please! Please fuck this pussy Queen Panther!” 

“As you wish.” Shuri immediately lowered herself to your pussy, spreading your lips apart, she used the tip of her tongue to lick directly through the center of your pussy. Her head tilted to the side eyes closed as she enjoyed your taste. Moving her head up and down she went from your clit to your hole, arms wrapped under your legs holding you wide open.  “Damnit! Eat that shit! Queen! More please More!”

She smirked in your pussy. Then she began to concentrate on your clit taking into her mouth giving it pulsating sucks before she started to suck and release. Building pressure at the tip of your clit. She released one of your legs placing her fingers at your entrance. “Kaninzi? (More)” Before you could answer her fingers entered you. Her other hand still wrapped around your thigh reached over to your pussy pushing back the skin above your clit giving her full access as she continued her pulsating sucks, while simultaneously massaging circles into the area above your clit, leaving no area of your pussy unsatisfied. “F-FUCK! W-what are you doing to me! W-what I-is Aaah.” 

Shuri nodded her head “Mhmm” You were thrashing as Shuri easily held your legs opened, one with her forearm as she pumped, her arm wrapped around the other. As the tip of your clit began to pulse. Shuri pulled back. “Whatever you feel sthandwa let it go for me. Soak my face”.  With that she placed her tongue underneath your clit and closed her mouth around it. She moved her tongue in and out of her mouth as she sucked. Your mouth fell open, but no sounds came out as your eyes rolled back into your head. Your body began to convulse and she then began to shake her head from side to side as a fountain of liquid poured from your womanhood.

————————————————————————

When you opened your eyes. You were confused. You were still in bed but had been cleaned up and placed under a new cozy comforter. You were facing Shuri’s side of the bed. But she wasn’t there. It didn’t take long  to figure out where she was once you felt a light breeze. Both doors to the balcony where open and Shuri sat on her knees infront of them. Just as you were about to get up to walk toward her, her voice echoed through the room

“Bast, I know I don’t talk to you as often as I should. But, I wanted to properly thank you. I was so lost when y/n came into my life. And I know I’ve been careless with her. That is unmistakable. I was young and confused. I wanted to feel anything. I don’t understand everything about what you did. However, I am eternally greatful for you sending her to soften the blow. For giving me a love that stands through any and everything.” Her voice caught in her throat as she choked back tears. As she stretched her arms to her sides. “With open arms, I promise to give her my all, every part of me, because I know she is my destiny.” She let go of a sob. “I finally know. I’m so glad. I thank you Bast for showing me the one, I am no longer searching, She’s so perfect, Bast. Please don’t take her from me. Please.” She ended in a whispering plea as she let the dam break. Covering your mouth as tears poured from your eyes. You let her have her moment with Bast.

————————————————————————

Present

It was 2:14 am, and you sat on the edge of the hotel bed next to your sleeping husband. You were crying for her. The memory taking a hold of your heart. Sliding down the side of the bed with your face buried in your hands. You grabbed your phone from the nightstand and took it into the bathroom. Your palms were sweaty as you searched for a number. You found what you were looking for and your thumb hovered over the contact until you got a serge of bravery and hit the call button. The phone rang three times before you got an answer. 

Nakia: Y/n?

“Where can I find her?”

Taglist: @imjusthere2readbruv,@6-noir,@oceean,@sleepynggafr,@blacksapphhicmaddonna,@bbbbbbrilliantly

A/n: If you’re a fan of the Shame series you have more than likely realized that this is Part 6 to the series. If you’re not. Welcome. I hope you enjoyed! Part 7 will be out soon and it will be the FINAL CHAPTER!

[dazed--xx]

Let Me In

Member: Kim Taehyung x afab reader

Word count: 1.5k

T/W: Horror, obsession, haunting?, mentions of death, gore, cliffhanger, dead corpse x living reader, NONCON kiss, bodily harm, stalking, madness, lack of control over one's own body, begging, threats, the haunting hour, harassment, etc

A/N: this was supposed to be Day one of Spooktober...Im was so like excited for this and I hope you guys enjoy it I figured since I won't be writing anything new I wanted to post something already done before I got into my slump hope this made some of yalls day seeing an update sorry it's not SKZ OR SVT but I was gonna do all 3 groups for spooktober and Tae just so happened to be the first name on the wheel of names

*Ping*

Y/n jumped out of her skin at the sound. Her hand trembling as she reached for her phone that sat on the ground next to her. Her breathing is heavy as she flips the device over. The name she had been dreading sits there smiling menacingly back at her. Ignoring his text she quickly swipes the notification away without reading it. Her head falls forward as her hands cup over her ears. No...It's not possible...she told herself.

*Ping*

*Ping*

*Ping*

Her phone continued to come alive with his texts. Her legs lift so her knees sit against her chest, pressing her back into the corner of the room. Her studio apartment was sunken in utter darkness as the air grew heavier and heavier. More notifications continue to somehow ping on her muted phone. "S-Stop..." She pleaded as she squeezed her eyes shut tight.

How could this be happening? Her body began to rock as she felt tears stream down her cheeks. The flurry of text messages continues their assault on her phone. Every ping caused another crack in her sanity. "He's dead...." she begins to repeat to herself as she continues to hold onto her ears to avoid every impossible text coming through her phone. "Kim Taehyung is dead...."

*Ping*

"Leave me alone!" She wails as she picks up the device and sends it careening across her dainty studio apartment. The phone slams harshly against the adjacent wall before tumbling to the ground onto its screen. She sat in silence for what felt like hours, her shaky breath the only thing she could hear as she leaned back against the wall. Her head fell back as she felt a chuckle form in the back of her throat it grew to a full laugh. This isn't possible...Kim Taehyung died last year, and the police told her this fact themselves. It had to be her lack of sleep ruining all logic in her brain. It had been a month since she had last slept properly.....she couldn't tell what was real anymore.

The sound of an unfamiliar ringtone pulls her out of her thoughts, and her eyes widen as her head snaps up. Her eyes were wide as she felt her body growing lighter and lighter. Her heart sank as she felt herself get onto all fours and slowly crawl toward the device. Her body almost felt as if it wasn't her own as she found the device now in her hand. Her body trembled as she felt her tears cascading down her cheeks. Her screen stared back at her with a spiderweb crack along the top left corner of her phone extending down toward the center of her phone. It was utterly destroyed yet, that name continued to call. The screen looked perfectly fine....

The green answer button called out to her, as her curiosity was peaked. She felt herself grow more and more drawn toward the answer button, in a trance she answered the call. As she went to speak, she found nothing coming out of her mouth. Her body sat frozen her mouth hung open in fear. A deep menacing chuckle responds on the other end of the line. "I missed you, Y/N..." A voice that sounded like Taehyung teased on the other end of the call, but there was something...off about his voice, it was as if he was gurgling.

Y/N's blood ran cold as she urged her body to hang up the call but her hands wouldn't budge. No...Please...stop...She pleaded as she stared across the room at the digital clock, 3:18 am. Taehyung's voice began to laugh mischievously. "You've never begged me before...." He teases. "I want to know what it's like to hear you scream....you'll do that for me right, Y/N?"

Go away....She urged as she fought against herself. Go away... it's not real, wake up! Wake Up! Her heart raced as she struggled to continue to hold herself up. "Shhh, get out of your head....I'll be there soon, you'll feel better, I promise" He soothed. Y/N felt her breath get trapped in her throat as she felt a wave of nausea takes over. The smell of decaying meat begins to waft through the air. Closing her eyes Y/N begins to recite the lord's prayer to herself. Our Father, Hallowed be thy name. Thy kingdom come "Ha Ha Ha, That won't work..." Taehyung antagonizes, and Y/N feels her mouth salivating as the stench grows stronger and stronger. A loud bang on her window, makes her body jump.

Slowly turning her head to face the window on her right. A decaying hand sits on her window, and she feels the contents of her stomach rise to her mouth. As the body of the hand begins to come into view, she vomits violently. "No..." she whimpers, as she's met with something, that looks like Kim Taehyung. His eye holes were sunken in, almost like two darkened abysses and his skin looked paler than he normally did. Across his throat sat a large gash, that went through the center of his neck. Her blood ran cold as he smiled at her menacingly. This isn't real....She thinks to herself.

"Let me in....." He calls in that gurgled menacing voice.

Y/N stood frozen as she stared at him in horror, This can't be real... she shakes her head and the smile on his lips falls. "Open up...." He states in a threatening tone. As he leaned into the window with that sinister smile on his lips, his tongue drags across his bottom lip and his face seemed to gain more and more vitality. She struggled against herself as she felt the need to open the window growing stronger and stronger. "No..G-Go away..." Y/N stammers fearfully. Taehyung's smile falls and the decayed face returns as he pulls his head back slightly, placing both hands on the window before slamming his head into the window harshly. Only then did Y/N realize how large the gash in his throat truly was as muscle and bone became exposed the second time he pulled his head back.

Her head grows heavier and heavier as he continues to slam his head into the window. A chill settles in the room as she feels herself growing dizzy. Her legs struggle as she tries to make her way toward the door as she hears the sound of cracking glass. The smell of rotting meat filled her nostrils as if she were in a butcher's discard pile. She felt her legs give out beneath her as her vision grew blurry. No.. she willed as she tried to crawl toward the door. You have to get out of here...

The sound of breaking glass makes her stomach drop as she sees the door growing closer and closer, reaching for her handle she feels a rough yet squishy hand encase her ankle dragging her back. A screech is released from her throat as she hears a deep chuckle erupt from the pit of his stomach. Taehyung flips her over onto her back as he leans over her, the gash in his throat dripping a brown congealed clot onto her cheek. The rotten meat smell now penetrates her pores, and almost tasting the stench she holds her breath. Taehyung frowns at her actions as he straddles her waist, his decayed hand grips her chin as he leans into her face. His face changed once again and she was greeted by a more lively visage of him. "L-Let me go....p-please" She pleads weakly.

"You know I can't do that.....It's been so long," He states with that gurgled voice. "I finally have you...why would I give you back?" He chuckles as he lifts his hand and a drawer opens from her kitchen, a butcher's knife flies from the drawer and into his hand. Her eyes widen as tears stream down her cheeks. "N-No please, T-Taehyung please...." She pleads to deaf ears and Taehyung lifts the knife to her cheek running the blade along her face sensually "I missed you, Y/N. I won't let you go again...Did you miss me too? You did right?" He questions in a trance, his eyes are crazed as he stares down at her. "You probably felt lonely without me...were you mad I didn't know how to find you? I'm sorry my love...I left you alone because I couldn't find you...I know you wanted me to find you, to prove my love by finding you if you hid well enough..." He states madly as he brings the knife to her throat, Y/N struggles to catch her breath as she tries to shove him off of her. "Don't worry, it won't hurt too badly if I do it this way.." He places the tip of the knife to her throat. He leans in pressing his lips to hers, she feels bile rise into her mouth as a sour putrid taste fills her mouth. She coughs as he pulls away with a smirk.

"I won't let you be alone again. You'll like it where we're going"

[shadowqueenjude]

Lucien finally loses it and does something bat shit crazy part 3

“Only a Vanserra could outsmart a Vanserra.”

Lucien starts to execute his evil plan! *me cackling* Lucien stood before the shadowsinger and pretended not to notice the slight intertwining of Elain’s scent with him. Lucien knew the male hadn’t touched Elain intimately in any way, but he knew the bathole was crushing on her. From what he could see, it wasn’t entirely one-sided. Did the dumbasses really think he was so oblivious? He had earned the fox's reputation for a reason.

He resisted the urge to grind Azriel’s teeth to dust. Now was not the time to pick a fight. Even as the mating bond chanted, Now is very much the time for a fight. Crush him. Melt his bones. Destroy him for daring to lay a hand on your mate. He tried to take what is yours. Kill him. Make him suffer.

Shut up bond, he said silently. I have higher ambitions than the dog. I’ll topple the whole operation.

“Things have gotten worse since your magnanimous High Lord decided to kick a downed male. I’m trying to keep things more or less operational, but… the place is extremely vulnerable. Tamlin spends half his time as a beast these days. At this rate, the human lands will put up a better fight than him.” Lucien’s mouth tightened at the state of his home. It hurt-badly. “The human lands are great. Jurian and Vassa have done an incredible job corralling everyone. No sign of the other queens. But Briallyn is surely planning something; Eris visited, and I’m almost certain she is behind the disappearance of his troops. She has some kind of dark magic on her side, though I’m uncertain of its nature. Koschei’s threat looms nearer as well. I suspect Vassa only has a few months before he comes for her.” Lucien would find a way to save her. He wasn’t about to lose anybody else, much less to a loser lake monster.

Azriel nodded seriously, eyes intensely focused on his every word. Lucien might have found it unnerving if circumstances hadn’t taught him to survive and adapt. He didn’t like it though.

He still cringed when he remembered the insanely awkward flight where Azriel had been forced to carry him. He had been surprised that Azriel could even carry him; Azriel was strong, but Lucien was bulkier. And taller. Azriel was all lean muscle. He supposed it must be something in that Illyrian diet, for his strength hadn’t wavered even for a moment. Even as they had determinedly avoided each other’s eyes.

His flight with Cassian had only been slightly less awkward. Cassian was bigger than Lucien; he was obviously the muscle of the group. It hadn’t been difficult to figure out the dynamic between the members of the IC. Cassian and Mor clearly had something ages ago, but Azriel was into Mor which forced Cassian to act as the middleman. Which was ironic to Lucien because as far as he could tell, Cassian was terrible at all things diplomatic. Lucien despised his family, but he still laughed his ass off at the thought of Eris going face-to-face with this guy. Eris would absolutely cream Cassian and spread his ego on his breakfast and eat it along with a fine glass of faerie wine. Beron would bury him and keep his bat wings as a souvenir. Only a Vanserra could outsmart a Vanserra. Even if Lucien had rejected his heritage, that statement still held true.

“Is that all?” Azriel asked quietly. Lucien brought his focus back to the present. “Yes. How is…she?”

He knew the shadowsinger would know exactly who he meant.

“She is alright,” Azriel said quietly. “She spends most of her time gardening or baking with Nuala and Cerridwen.”

Lucien took a deep breath and nodded. Even if she wouldn’t let him check on her, he had to know that she was ok. Physically and mentally. He wished she would deign to have a true conversation with him, but for now, knowing she was doing well was enough.

Azriel disappeared into the shadows. Lucien took another deep breath. Now to implement his plan.

“Come in,” came a cool female voice.

Lucien walked into the apartment of Nesta Archeron. By the Cauldron, this place was a dump. Seeing this place made Lucien want to take a long, hot shower and buy new clothes untainted by the stink of this flat. But he managed not to cringe at the smell and followed Nesta to the tiny kitchen. Lucien couldn’t blame Nesta for opting to live in the slums as opposed to the finery of the palaces Rhysand owned. He, too, couldn’t bear to accept the charity from them. He was a male of pride and honor, and it seemed as if Nesta was the same. He supposed he may have misjudged the eldest Archeron sister. To be honest, his impression of her was mainly based off of what others had told him, and his own irritation that she kept shoving him away from Elain. But fine, he could understand why she had been so overprotective. He was some Fae guy, and she had grown up on stories spreading how horrible they were.

“We also dance with the spirits under the full moon and snatch human babes from their cradles to replace them with changelings—”

Lucien remembered he had said that to Feyre the first time they met. That felt so long ago.

“What do you want,” Nesta said flatly. The scent of her arousal was intertwined with the scent of an unknown male. She was in a long white shirt that certainly didn’t belong to her.

Lucien smiled in spite of himself. “If I said you, would you kick me out?”

Nesta just glared at him. The look in her eyes reminded him so much of…

“I don’t know why Feyre hates you. You’re so much alike.”

Nesta scowled. “Don’t talk about her.”

Lucien put his hands up. “Ok. No sisterly talk. Pinky promise.”

Nesta glared a moment longer, then sighed. “What brought you to the slums to talk to your friend’s bitchy sister?”

“I don’t think you’re bitchy.”

Nesta scoffed. “Then you’re delusional.”

“I just think you’re hurting. You were thrown into the Cauldron. You may have hated him, but it can’t have been easy to watch your father die in front of your eyes.” Lucien’s eyes teared up. “I know it was unbearable when my Jesminda died before me, and I was helpless to stop it. I’ve never forgotten the moment when I heard her heart stop beating.”

He rarely spoke of that moment. It was unbearable, even now, to speak of it. But Nesta was one of the few people who would be able to understand his pain.

Nesta paused. Then said, “I can’t take baths, because it makes me feel like I’m drowning in that Cauldron again. I use buckets and wipes instead. The crackling of logs…it’s unbearable. It sounds like my father’s neck snapping.”

Lucien’s heart cracked for the icy Archeron sister. She acted cold and aloof, but Lucien had a feeling she felt a lot more than she let on. Perhaps moreso than normal people. That’s why she constructed icy walls as a defense mechanism.

Lucien hesitantly offered a hug. Nesta didn’t protest; rather, she jumped into his arms and started crying silently into his chest. He gently rubbed circles into her back. “I’m sorry,” he said quietly. Sadly.

Nesta pulled away after a long moment. “That’s the first time,” she whispered, “I’ve felt anything since the war.”

Lucien didn’t know what to say, so he simply stared at her. After what seemed like ages, Nesta cleared her throat and said, “Why are you really here?”

Lucien started. Right. He came here to do something. “I may have a solution to one of your problems: the mating bond.”

Nesta started. “What mating bond?”

Lucien smiled grimly. “The one between you and Cassian.”

[small-sinclair]

But I Love Ya

Again, @bluecoolr’s gave me this idea based off this gut killing comic and this one too. I think it’s neat and is sad but it’s nice :3

This is a gift to @fluffy-little-demon and @ahmnom.

Tw: past trauma, mention of physical abuse, mentioned of self-harm, mention of emotional abuse

This story takes place two years into the killings.

Hope y'all enjoy!

It's been two years, 3 months, 12 days since Trudy died, but Bo still felt her looking at him front his bedroom doorway, her eyes unforgiving and solid. He felt her gazing at him as if he was the mistake she made, an unsolved wax structure that needed to be washed out and burned, destroyed to nothing but liquid heat to be used later for something better and different.

Deep down, Bo wanted her eyes to go away, to un-feel the nails over his skin like claws over a rock, sharpening and ready to kill. He wanted nothing more than to diver under his covers and hide from his mother's gaze, but even under the covers Bo wasn't safe. He excepted that he wouldn't be sleeping tonight, and he's okay with it? Is he really?

Bo turned to his side and turned on the lamp on his nightstand. He sits up and wiped the sweat from his face. The heatwave will never lift until he's down with his mother's work. She told him that she'll allow him to sleep peacefully once it's all completed. It's been two years of killing, fighting, destroying, and creating. The amount of blood on his hands could drown a single person if they didn't know how to swim. He squeezed his eyes shut and rubbed his wrist. The scars itch so bad that he wants to run a knife over them just to stop the stings and aches of the past. Maybe that'll help him sleep?

It's not your fault, I supposed, that I can't love you, his mother's voice echoed through his head. It's just hard to love you, and I've tried everything that I could.

"I love you, Mama," BO whispers to himself as he ran his fingers over the fabric of the bed, feeling the sheets and its weight. "I truly do love ya."

You're wasting my time and your father's time, Beauregard! His mother laughed like she did the first time he told her he loved her and his father. Now, git! The more interesting twin is about to do his piano residal. Don't want you to fuss or nothin' when guest are here. Take Lester to your room and wait until it's over!

The memory ended with a slap across the face and Lester crying when it happened. his mother never cared for Lester, and it hurts Bo sometimes when he's reminded with the lack of baby pictures of Lester.

On the nightstand, he takes the picture of him and his brothers against the lamp and held it between his fingers. It was taken on his Polaroid by a friend. All of them were smiling as the twins stood either side of their little brother, who was grinning ear-to-ear with a college diploma in hand from the state college. He was the only one of the brothers to get some type of higher education. Even though his little brother never showed it, he was pretty fucking smart when it came to geology and environment. he works for the state picking up and recording roadkill--

Why didn't you or Vincent go? Why didn't Vincent try?

His mother hated that Lester proved her wrong with getting a degree, and she hated it more when he cut her out of his life. Bo didn't blame her, but he knew that he couldn't do that. He wasn't strong enough to do that until she died, until the day he killed her himself. Hands around her throat, chocking out the life he never wanted. He didn't want to hear her voice or see her eyes. He didn't want to feel her hand slapping across his face or tying him down as his father beats him with a leather belt or a twitch. He didn't want to hear her breath or say anything to him...

So does he still owe her everything? Why does he do this for her? Destroy people and lives just to make her dream come true? Maybe it was the catholic inside him to honor thy parents and wishes, but he didn't want to admit it. If he did, he would end up losing to her and she would win again. Come to think of it, his knees did hurt from begging his mother to love him, to hold him, to make him feel like he belong to a world where sin is the truth and blessings are a lie.

"But I love you," he murmurs to himself as lowered the photo on the bed. "I've always loved ya."

He rested his head in his hands and closed his eyes. he allowed his mothers nails rack over his skin and cut him open like a fish. He let the past pains of hits and tears go after him, over and over again until he was nothing. It's what he deserves, right? He was to take the pain or his twin would get the brunt of it. Poor Vincent. He'll never truly know what an iron hot pan felt against his back. Still to this day, he doesn't tell Vincent how his back go so burned and scared. How could he?

He takes a deep breath in, tasting the dust and honeydew of the south, and let out a long, hallowed breath filled with sadness and skill. When he looks up, all he could see was himself looking back at him, and the shadow of his mother standing in his other half. He'll always be the other half of someone, his brother, his mother, father-- he'll never be whole until he finishes what his mother started.

If he was more like Vincent, looked like and creative like him, would his mother love him the same?

I can only love one child, Bo. Sadly, you'll never know love.

The ciggarette burns on the back of his shoulders ached and screamed to let open. As much as he would love to take his knife and carved out his mother's blood, what would he be lift with? His father? Vincent and Lester? Everything he does is for his family. When will he be able to do something for himself for a change?

He just wanted to be free from her claw-like nails. He wanted to be gone from her gaze from above, but how could he when she's laying in a casket down the road? Why couldn't he bury her and take his brothers somewhere else where they could breath and be free? Why could he do that?

Becasue he's stuck here. He will never be forgiven until his brothers are, too. They've done nothing wrong--

It's becasue you are a Sinclair, boy, his father answered, his stomach aching from an unseen punch. We have the word 'sin' in the first part! You are born in to it and you will die to it! Now, get on those fucking knees and beg!

He placed the picture to the side and laid back down, hands folded over his chest. "But I love ya, Mama," he whispers again. "I love ya and Pa and my brothers."

That's nice and all, but who would love you back? It's not me, I'll tell you that for free!

He wanted to turn out the lights and sleep, but the heat of the marsh and the sins on his skin will never allow him to rest. He will never allow himself to rest until his mother's job is finish. If he can't be forgiven, then he'll work hard enough to make sure Vincent and Lester are! He will not have his brothers fall down with him, he can't allow that!

Do you think your brothers love you, Bo? Ha! they only love you because you are their brother! Shape up and help me Lester! He won't sit still, so help me get him in your old chair--

he shot out of bed as he heard the straps tying onto his skin like cold chains. Bo held his chest, controlling his breathing, as he looked at his empty bed. It's only him and the night, the darkness of the room filling his thoughts as the demons came out to play. The painful memory of his little brother being restrained and taped to his bed--

Lester. Have to make sure Lester isn't held down. He can't be held down! He never would allow it! Bo will set this world on fire if he ever saw Lester tied down again.

He takes his green plaid and puts it on as he heads out of his room. He wonders down the hall past his mother's bedroom and stops at the end, standing in front of Lester's closed door. Gently, he nudges the door open and tip-toes in. His baby brother was curled up in his blankets in his Scooby-Doo boxers and cuddling a pillow-shaped ladybug. He was breathing softly, his chest calm as it rises and falls without a care.

Silently, he crept over to his brother's bed and kneels next to him. Gingerly, his fingers wrap around Lester's wrist and pulled forward. Relief washed over him like a waterfall when he found that he wasn't restrained or tied. Only light scars of the past showed. Goodness, his thoughts were getting to the best of him tonight. He leaned down and kissed his brother's wrist before standing up. At least his baby brother is safe--

"...Bo?" A tired voice escaped as he stood next to the door. "Bo, 's 'at ya?" Lester asked, sitting up, rubbing his eyes tiredly. "Wha' are ya doin'?" He yawned as sleepiness started to take over.

Bo looked back at his brother and shook his head. "Nothin'. Go back ta' sleep, Lessy."

"Had a nightmare?" He asked, his eyes going into focus. "'S okay if ya did." He scoots over and patted the empty side. "Wanan sleep wit' me?"

Bo's brows lifted in sadness. He felt like he was a child again. Back when they were kids, Bo and Vincent always went to Lester if they had a bad dream. For some reason, he was good at keeping the demons and monsters at bay and gone until the sun came up.

Bo bit his bottom lip nervously. "If ya don't mind."

"Never had, Bo," Lester answered, laying back down, patting the bed next to him. "Com' an' sleep."

Bo came back to his brother's side and laid in the bed. Like he did before, he pulled his brother close to his chest and closed his eyes. He does love his brothers, and his brothers love him.

But his mama never will.

"Love ya," Lester murmurs, cuddling into his brother's side.

Bo doesn't say it back, but he wishes he could.

[ninja-knox-ur-sox-off]

Monkie Kid

season 4

episode 1

knox reaction

HECK

L- help that’s so funny i just started typing this and my youngest bro came up to me and went “shouldn’t you be watching monkie kid?” THE TIMING WAS IMPECCABLE I’M ON THE FLOORBG;SAKMF;AWLEF

ANYWAY HE’S RIGHT I SHOULD BE

I HAVE BEEN SITTING HERE SINCE EIGHT THIRTY AND IT’S ONE NOW AND EVERY TIME I THOUGHT ABOUT WATCHING I’D GET SO HYPE IT FELT LIKE I WAS GONNA IMPLODE BUT HECK IT HECK IT WE BALL, LETS ROLL I’M READY TO SCREAM AND CRY AND SOB AND WHAT THE HECK AM I GETTING IN FOR-

man i love this show this is insane

ALRIGHT

guys I haven’t even opened the file pls it’s just sitting there i’m cryiNGBG;ALAWFIAMWF

OKAY

OKAY I CAN DO THIS

(ajr bang song music) HERE WE G O

opened the file. I have accepted there’s no way i’m going to be normal about any of this

can i just say tho i’m impressed how quickly we got the english episodes season 3 was waiting months and avoiding spoilers was like walking through a minefield- wdym no i’m not stalling

HECK OKAY STARTING HERE WE GO

i have closed discord no longer distracted

OH GODS I PRESSED PLAY I;MGNSDF;LKMAFAWGBA;IOWMF

THEMESONG WTHEME SONG I’M GOINT GBDFBSALKFMA;OWIABG;IWEMF;AMF

so

I have

seen the theme that was shared last month but

oh man i am

i am still not normal

I

GUYS ITS GBSDFB;AWKMEFFL

CAN I PLS JUST

THE BEGINNING?? PLS??? THE GOING THROUGH VICTORIES THEY’VE HAD, THE LBD ONE I’M BGSDF;MAWOIEFMAF

AND NOW EVERYONE’S GOT THEIR JTTW COUNTERPARTS/PAST LIVES BEHIND THEM AND I AM MENTALLY ILL WHY IS EVERYTHING THIS SHOW DOES SO FREAKING PRETTY PLS I’M GBSDFLK;MA;GOINWFAMF AAAAAAAAAAAAAA

sorry going through it frame by frame we’ll be here a while I try and make it quick

I love how Zhu Bajie is holding a kitchen knife sir still cooks 10/10, hecking desert for Tang with ruins and HMBGSLDKFMAWEF SANDY, SANDY MY ABSOLUTE BELOVED, ALL THE SKELTONS IN THE BACKGROUND WITH HIM AND THE WILD RED HAIR DESIGN FOR SHA WUJING GIVES ME LIFE, MEI WITH THE DRAGON PALACE BEHIND HER I’M IN TEARS, AND THEN WE GET TO THE MONKEYS, AND THE SCROLL WINDING AROUND IN THE BACKGROUND I SWEAR IF THIS IS TIME TRAVEL, OR DELVING INTO SWK’S MEMORIES, OR GOING INTO THE BOOK I’M FLIPPING TABLES I HAVE SO MANY GUESSES AND I’M SURE NONE OF THEM ARE RIGHT SWK AND MAC HELLO DISASTER MONKEYS YOUR’E BEAUTIFUL HIS HAT HIS HAT I’M GONNA CRYGBLSAE;KFMAWEF

as you can see I am perfectly normal about this show LEGO Monkie Kid

lion fella looking at swk, hi you can tell the lion dude is a fave the way he’s drawn no fr literally just in the theme song he is so shaped, i’m sure he’s great but SWK BELOVED WITH HIS MONKEYS |;A;/ PLS THE SWORN BROTHERS ALL LAUGHING AND MESSING AND SWK LOOKING PASSED OUT ON THE TABLE PLS I’MGBNSDFLKAMWEO DBK’S SMILE FACING OFF AGAINST THE HELPGNDFL WITH NEZHA THERE AND AAAAAAAAAAAA MAC THERE AND AAAAAAAA

we’re cool we’re normal, i remember someone saying this was supposed to be like a filler season not so plot heavy or something, i call cap this is gonna emotionally destroy me i can already feel it

MK GETS LI’LL MECH IT LOOKS LIKE IT TELAPORTED THERE THAT MIGHT JUST BE FOR THE THEME SONG BUT THAT WOULD BE AWESOME IF HE LEARNS HOW TO DO THAT HELLO??

new outfits new outfits new outfits NEW OUTFITS NEW FITS NEW FITS NEW FITS

TANG GETTING A HAND OF HIS BUBBLE SPELL, PIGSY HYPE PIGSY HYPE PIGSY STANS WHERE WE AT, NAH I LOVE THIS DUDE SM, FATHER OF THE YEAR only Sandy could  smile that brightly standing on a pile of bones and skulls i swear MY MANS WEARING HALF A SHIRT PLS BGS;LFKMAW;EOFIM

so hear me out, theory moment, all this dark looking fools with blue eyes, i swear they look like ink, ink from a book perhaps? maybe i book they get thrown into HECK IF I KNOW I’M JUST SO HYPED I SWEAR I’M SHAKING THEY HAVE THEIR WEAPONS HBGBSDF;AMWOEIMF SCREAAAMSSS fighting evil ink clones of their past lives? MK FACING OFF AGAINST MONKEY OFC I JUST AM SO FREAKING EXCITED I CANTBGL;SDFMAOI;EWFMASLKFAWOIEMKDSF

the jttw crew looks so freaking dope i love them

gosh this show’s animation is just FLYING BARK YOU HAVE MY ENTIRE SOUL NOTHING BUT MAD RESPECT AND GRATEFULNESS FOR MAKING THIS HIGH QUALITY OF ANIMATION

okay okay theme song over, i managed to have that only take up like… less space than ses 3 I’M DOING GOOD SEE GSDBFA;LKFMEWOFIAMFKLAF

okay actual episode time I’m gonna cry when i hear any of them i’mgbkl;fma;owef

oh ohhh hello hellloooooo hello mysterious swooshy beginning hiiii

OH OH

IS THIS

THIS LOOKS LIKE THE UNDERWORLD

HELLO??

ALL THE LITTLE FLOATY LIGHTS IS THIS THE UNDERWORLD??? DEATH?? HI? ????

i’m normal i’m normal i’m normal i’m normal i’m normal i’m normal i’m normal

that’s a dope fit dude, i’m biased towards sick hoods tho i will say, looks like he has like an arrow on the back of his hand whats that i feel like i’m being presumptious assigning this dude as he- OH COME ON THAT’S SO DOPE THAT’S SUCH A COOL HEBGSFLKMAIOWEJFIAMFMMF HELLO ROOM FULL OF SPINNY THINGS IS THAT THE DEATH NAME BOOK\???? AAAAA

i’m jumping ahead might not be the underworld at all i could be wrong AAAAAAASCREAMSNGBSLK;DFMAWEF

SIR THE VIOLENCE OF THAT SPIN LIKE, THE HECKING FORCE OF SOMETHING LOOKING SO EASY AND IT SHAKES THE WHOLE FLOOR IS SOMETHING ALRIGHT I’M BGDS;LFMA;OEWF

AAAAA

AAAAAAAAAAA

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

STIMMING STIMMING CHILLS I CAN’T TYPE I’M TOO BUSY STIMMINGBGFSDL;JFMA;WE SCREAMSNBSGSDKFLM SCREAMSBGSKMDFLM HELGGBBSKAMW;EF AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAQAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

nice transition i love this show i’m in pieces GLOWY LETTERS ITS THEY ITS THEM WHAT DOES THIS MEEEAAAANNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN

DOUBLE SNAKE

oh we have old lego people now hello gents NAH BUT THEIR BACKGROUND CHARACTER DESIGN IS ALWAYS SO FIRE

the trio of grandma’s my beloveds

PLS I CAN’T BEILEVE HOW DISGRUNTLED THIS ONE PERSON LOOKS AT BEING THROWN INTO THE AIR BGSLKF;MAWEMIF

have

kay

so so

so sooo so hey hi hello hi there i

i am smiling

so big rn sir

the grandmas mk MK

MK

MY BOY

MY LAD

MY MAN

IT HE

I ADORE

YOU DON’T UNDERSTAND ITS HE

So i really love this funky monkie man, i adore him, he is serotonin, he is everything, he is so wonderful

OKAY AND THE SNAKES EXPRESSION IS SO FUNNY PLS, JUST *SWEATS* MASSIVE STAFF MY LAD IS DOING SO WELL I’MGBSDALKFMAWE

VOICE I

I NEED TO PRESS PLAY AGAIN I WANT TO HEAR HIM I WANTBG;LSDFMAWE I LOVE THIS FREAKING SHOW SOMEBDOY SEDATE ME BGDS;LFKMA;WEF

POWERFUL

HE IS BUT A LAD

HE IS T H E  LAD

“GOOD MORNING LADIES”

PLS

PLS

PLS

PLS

PLS

YOU DON’T UNDERSTAND PLSBGB;SDFMA;OWIEFMAWENASNGWIEMFKSMF

HIS SMILE

HISBGSLKFMAWE

GOOD MORNIGN MK

WHAT A SWEETIE

PLS

ADOPTED GRANDMAS THANK YOU

MISS LADIES GM

I’M

I’M GOING TO START SOBBING I SWEAR HE IS EVERYHTINGBFMAOIAWJE;FAGBAEFMASF

POWERFUL LAD

HE IS NOTHING BUT VIBINGBSDF;LKAMWE

SELFIE

PLS HE’S TAKING SELFIES WITH THE GRANDMAS I’M BGSLFKM;AWE

THE BLEP

PLS

PLS HE’S SO WONDERFUL I AM NORMAL ABOUT THIS CHARACTER I SWEAR

JIN AND YIN

THE LADS

nice caps mates y’all stylin this season 10/10

OH THEIR SNAKE NICE

HELPGNSLFKMWE HAS THE STAFF

STILL TAKES THE VEHICLE

WHOAH

WHAT THE

SEARPENT SHEARS

FANCY

OH THEY’RE SO FANCY TODAY

THOSE ARE MASSIVE

PLS

MMEEEEEEEEEEEEEEIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII

MA’AM OF MY HEART

FIRE OF MY HEART

GIRL OF MY WORLD

WHAT WORDS BELVOED

BELOVED

SHE’S STYLIN IN A SHIP

PLS

PLS IT’S ALWAYS BREAKING DOWN

HER LAUGH

HER LAUGH IS EVERYHTINGSKFLSDMF

:O

PRETTY NEW ROBE

OHH HELLO? HOW’D THEY GET HIS RING???

WHERE’D YOU GET ALL THESSENL;GMAWEF-

w wait

wait did they get them from monkey kings place? because if so that’d be really funnybGLKAMWEF

OKAY NAH THO THE “that we’ve SOMEHOW managed to steal” LIKE THEY DON’T KNOW HOW THEY DID IT EITHER I KNOW IT’S WRITING BUT ITS STILL SO FUNNY PLS BGS;LKFMWEA;IOFM

JUST THROWING THINGS

NOT EVEN USING THEM AS WEAPONS

JUST TOSSING THINGS

HELPGNSDLKFMWE

ESPLOSION

MEIIII

EMJIGNSFLKWEM

AAAAAAAAAAAA

CAN

I’M SO HYPE

PLS

LAD GETS A PERSONAL MECH

I’M GONNA CRY

LOOK HOW GOOD HE IS

nNICE CATCH MONKEY MAN

CAUGHT

SNATCHED

NOTHING DOING

EASY MEAL

RIP

BUGGAR

PLS

TEAM ATTACK

I’M GONNA CRY

YOU DID NOT NEED TO DESTROY THAT WHOLE BUIDLIGN PLS BGSLFMKAWE

AWAAA AAA PLLSSSS

THE CITY BEING HAPPY ABOUT HIM I’M

YES

DARN RIGHT

WONDER HOW LONG THAT’LL LAST I’M SORRYGBSF;KMAWEFMAS

SO MANY GRANNIES IN THIS SEASON AND I APPROVE

nice landing mates bG;ALKWEFM

COME ON THEIR SO SILLY AND EPIC I LOVE THEM SM MEI AND MK THE DUO EVER

g

get

pls its so easy

get BRICKEDBGSLKWEMF

GET BRIKED GET IT CAUSE

BRICK

ON HEAD

pls don’t kill me i’m doing my bestbG;LWAMERF;OAWEF

little groUP HUG

THE TIME FOR HUGS IS OVERGHLSKF

OH??

THEIR MANAGER????

THEIR MANAGER?????????

MK WERE U GONNA KILL THOSE SUCEKRS??

HELPGNSLFKMAWEF

IS THAT THEIR MOM OR AUNT OR SOMETHING??

DANG

AWAAA PLS

“i wasn’t ACTUALLY gonna slice and dice em i just thought we looked cool and edgy” actually your honour i adore him and he’s never done anything wrong in his life and he should get all of the hugs and money and everything in the world

MEI MY BELOVED

TAKING SELFIES

PLS

PLS THAT’S SO FUNNYGBSDFLKAWMEF

mans ready for edgy, i’m ready mei i can feel it its my emo goth girl phase

THEY HAVE PILES FOR DIFFERENT THREAT LEVELSGNSLDKFM PLS

;-;

my lad

my lad is so trauma

pls

he’s so traumatized

pls he needs therapy

I love him i’m so concernedbG;LKAWEF

SIR

SIR PLS

SHE’S CONCERENED

JUNK IN TRUNK

.

*looks at my bricked joke*

I

I can’t even judge him i do the same thing plsBGL;AKMEF

am

am i an Mk kinniebG;LKEWF;ONAWEIOFMWE IGNORE THAT MOVING ON WBK PROBABLYGBSL;FKMWAEF

IS HE OKAY?????

SIR????

ARE YOU ALRIGHT????

I DON’T THINK YOU ARE ALRIGHT

PIGSY

HELPGNBSLF;KMAWE

HELP I’M

PLS

PLS I’M GONANGBSADLKFMAW;EOF HEGBKLSFMEMFK WBGBS;LKDFA;WEIMF

WHEEZINGNSFKLMSDF

OH GODS WE’RE HALF DONE I’MBGBSDFLKAEW

PLS IT’S PIGSY

HE’S NOT EVEN PRETENDING TO DILVIER NOODLES ANYMROE

I’M NGONGDSLFAMOI;WEFMAFKH;GOIAWFEJE

STILL USES THE VEHICLE THO

i am

so in love with everything about this show pls

my concern for mk grows ARE YOU OKAY GOING BY YORUSELF?? ISSUES WITH THE MONKEY ?? ARE YOU OKAY?? TRUAMA AT THE MOUNTAIN?>? DEISAGREEMENTS WITH MONKEY KING STILL?? ARE THINGS AWKARD??? I’M SO CURIOUS PLS BGSLKFMAWEF PLS PLSGBSDLKFMWE

PLS DON’T STILL BE MAD AT HIIIMMMMMMMM

HE’S DOING HIS BEST MK PLS I’LL ONLY ACCEPT THIS OUTOCME IF THIS WHOLE SEASON IS JUST EXPLORING MONKEY KINGS TRUAMA ADN THEY ALL GO “OH TAHT’S WHY HE’S LIKE THIS” OKAY OKAY MOVING ON I’M PROBABLY WRONG I JUST LOVE THEM SO MUCHGBSDFLKAEW

i have

to pause this

every time

i hear one of their voices

every time

W WONDERFULGBDSFLKAMWE

I

MONKEY

MONKEY

IT HE

ITS HIM

IT IS THE MONKEY EVER

THE ONE AND ONLY

THE ABSOLUTE BEST MONKEY OF ALL TIME

THE MOMST TRUAMA

SIR HAS SO MUCH JUNK PLSBGSL;FM

I

I am so normal you guys I’m so normal about hearing Monkey King Mei Pigsy and Mk’s voices i’m so normal bG;LAWMEF;EWAMF

aALL THE LITTLE MONKEYSNGLKSFE

HELPGNDSLFKMAWEF

NEZHA’S GONNA FLIP WHEN HE HEARS I HAVE THISBGS;LKFMAWEAKGM NOT GONNA RETURN IT? I MEAN FINDERS KEEPERS RIGHT-

OH HE STYLIN

MATE HE STYLIN MONKEY KING IN CAPES BRUH THERE AIN’T NO OTHER

I’M

PLS

PLS

HE’S SO

PLS

ITS THE MONKEY GUYS WHAT ELSE DO I SAY

ITS HIM

WHEN IW AS YOUR AGEBGLD;FMA;WEFOIMAWEF

I’M

PLS

HE’S SO

HE IS

SO

SO

YES

I’M

I’M SO NORMAL I LOVE HIM

SIR SEEMS A BIT DETATCHED STILL OH YEAH SAVING PEOPLE YES THAT IS A THING YOU ALSO DO I REMEMBER PEOPELGBSLF;MAKWEF AND GIVING HIM PRAISE YES, PRAISE THE LAD TELL HIM HOW GOOD HE’S DOING DESERVED PLS I’MGBSDF;LKMAWE

SWINGING YOUR BIG OL TAIL AROUND TO GET WHAT YOU WANTED-

he is

so important to me you guys I have such brainrot over this monkey pls bGLKAMWEFAF

I WAS GOING TO SAY MAKING REGRETABLE LIFE CHOICES BUT BGS;LKFMA;WEFAG;WOAIEMFAWEF

I

y you

kinda already done

more for this world that i ever

;-;

pls

i’m

|;-;/

|;A;/

monk e y

OH MK PLS WDYM

OH

OH WE

WE PLAYING THE BLAME GAME ARE WE

OH THEY’RE BOTH SO TRUAMATIZED AND MENTALLY ILL

THEY BOTH NEED THERAPY SO BAD

MONKEY KING BLAMING YOURSELF FOR IT ISNT’ GONNA HELP MK STOP BLAMING HIMSELF PLS MONKEY SEE MONKEY DO THEY WOULD HAVE FOUND WHAT THEY NEEDED ANYWAY PLS, MK IF YOU HADN’T SHOWN UP THEY WOULD HAVE GOTTEN THE STAFF STRAIGHT AWAY, LBD CLEARLY ALREADY HAD THE KEY THE MAYOR HAD IT, AND COME ON COME OOOONNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN MK PLS YOU GOTTA JUMP THROUGH SOME SERIOUS HOOPS TO SELF BLAME FOR THIS

i mean his teacher’s p good at doing that too it seems but BGLA;KMEF;OAWEF SHAKES THEM BOTH

YOU HECKING MENTALLY ILL MONKEYS

i adore them hanging out they mean everything to me I’m adoring how chill this starts out i feel like i’m about to be hit by a train of some kind bGLK;MAWEF

“come on bud you gotta learn to let that suff go” AND RISK LOOKING LIKE HE’S IRRESPONCIBLE AND DOESN’T CARE AT ALL LIKE YOU??? THIS IS A CHALLANGE SORRY I’M THINKING ABOUT MONKEY KINGS TRUAMA AND HOW BEING ALOOF AND LIKE HE DOESNT’ CARE HSA GOTTA BE THE ONLY WAY HE CAN LIVE WITH ALL THE STUFF THAT HE DID AND THE STUFF THAT WAS DONE TO HIM OKAY I’M NORMAL I’M NORMAL

BELIEVE ME I WASN’T ALWAYS THE EASIESTMKML

WHAT

BUT YOUR’E SO CUTE AND CHEEKY

PLS

PLS

MONKEYGBSDLFK;AW;OEFMAGH;IAOWENBG;OIWAEMF

“i know right??” PLS

PLS SIR

UR HONOUR I WILL NOW ONLY EVER DESCRIBE MONKEY KING AS CUTE AND CHEEKY /J /J /J

THE POINT IS

oh hi

hello

nah tho that’s

actually p decent advice ngl

<— number one rule is “leave it better than you found it” in dealing with everything

STILL GOTTA RECOVER FROM THE MESSUPS THO MONKEY KING

I CAN SEE WHY HE’S BEING LIGHT ABOUT IT-IS THAT THE MONA LISA BGS;JDLAKFMNA;WGB;OIAWEM;AWOEG;OIWEFGGBIO;MEF

MK HAVING TROUBLE

I’M GONNA CRY

IT WON’T

OH

OH

OH THAT FACE

OH NO THAT FACE HE MADE

PLS

MONKEY KING SIR

SUN WUKONG

MAN

OH MAAAAAN

THAT FACE

SERIOUSLY THIS DUDE

MAKES SUCH

SPICIFIC FACES WHEN MK ISN’T LOOKING

WHERE ITS JUST

SO MOURNFUL

AND UNDERSTANDING LIKE FEELS THAT

FLYING BARK YOU ABSOLUTE MAD LADS YOUR EXPRESSIONS WILL BE THE DEATH OF ME

FOREVERS A LONG TIME BUD

TRUST ME

I AM

MENTALLY UNWELL YOU GUYS

I AM SO VERY MENTALLY UNWELL

man cleaning up together ;-;

WELP

.

THAT’S AWKWARD

FIRST OFF CALLED IT, CALLED IT THAT THEY’D FIND SOMETHIGN WHILE CLEANING HIS PLACE I SO CALLED IT I WAS SO RIGHT

gosh that was some PANIK from mr. the king

OH MAN IT WAS SO CHILL FOR A HOT SECOND

SCREAMSGNSLDKMAWEF

OH I’M

GOTTA BREATH HANG ON I’M NOT CHILL I’M LSOING IT

YOU DID A THING

HIDING BEHIND MONKEY KING PLS

OH BOY

OH BOYYYYYYYYY

SO HANG ON

WHAT IS THISBGSL;DKFMAWE

AAAAA

WAHT IS AGHSJFLKAWEFN;GANLE;AWFKEKMLAAA

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

AAAAAAAAAAAAAA

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

SCREAMS

MONKKEY KING SNATCHING HIM GETTING HIM OUT O FTHE WAY AT THE SPEED OF SOUND

OKAY OKAY

SO INK CREATURES

FROM BOOK I WAS RIGHT

SWK WHYAAAAAAAAAAAA

SCREAMINGBNFLAMWEF

AAAAAAA

GOING THROUGH

WHAT

HOLY

WHAT THE CRAP IS

HAPPEN

OH MY GODS

OH MUY GODS WHAS I WRIGBSDLGN;WAELNMWAKEMRFWEMAIEWMGAAA

AAAAAAA

THING ABOTU IT BEING A BOKGHNSG

I’M NOT NORMAL I’M LOSING IT GUYS

ITS

ITS A BOOK OF TRUAMA I SWEAR

LISTEN TO THAT I’M LSOING IT

EVERYBODY YELLING AT HIM LBD LAUGHING WUKONG IS FROZEN ITS THE SAME CLIP FROM WHEN MEI WAS YELLING AT HIM TRUAMA MONKE TRUAMA MONKEY OH OH THIS SEASON IS GOING TO KILL ME I’M GOINT TO DIE I’M GOING TO PERSIH THISBGSLKMA;GH;OIWFMAWEOIFHA;AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA]

TRIPITAKA VOICE SHUT THE FREKAKNDFKLWE UPPPPPP NOOOOAAAAAAAAAAAA

SCREAMS THE BABY MONKEYS NOOOOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

MK READY TO FIGHT

NOOOOO

THE

NOOOOOOOO

BBY MONKEYS

OH MAN

first of

bird guy

fire looking

that animation ??

that composition?? hot dang buddy flying bark is off the rails

secondly

SCREAMS

ITS LITERALLY A BOOK OF SWK’S WORST MOMENTS IT LOOKS LIKE, WAS I RGHT WAS I RIGHT WAS I RIGHT THERE’S NO WAY THERE’S NO WAY IW ASBGNLSAFKMAW HE’S GONNA GET PULLED IN ISN’T HE

MONKEY KINGS GONNA GET PULLED IN I SWEAR IF HE GETS PULLED IN

I’M LSOING IT I’M LOSING IT SCREAMING

SWK VS HIS TURAMA

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

TEY

I’M

HOLY CRAP

HOLY WAHT THE FBGDFNKSMA;AWOEGB;OAIWEFMKMSDFKMSDF

HE GOT FREAKINGB

I’LL FIGURE OUT AND ITS CRYING

HE’S CRYINGLKFDMSF

I AM NEVER OKAY EVER A DAY IN MY LIFE I HATE IT WHEN I’M RIGH AND HE SEALED THEM IN HE SEALED HIM

OH MY FREAKINGN TRUAMA

FREE TRUAMA

FREE TRUAMA FOR EVERYBODY

.

.

.

.

inhales

I am mentally unwell

fake composed

hello good evening

I WAS FREAKING RIGHT ABOUT THE SCROLL I’M GOING TO FREAKING IMPLODE RIGHT THS SECONDHGNLKSAMDF AAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAASAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

SCREAMSING

FLIPPING TABLES

RUNNING AROUND

THROWING CHAIRS

RUNNING OUTSIDE

THROWING MYSELF IN THE SNOW

LOSING IT

I AM LOSING IT

I AM SBGLS;KMSBG;OWAIEMNGABGA;OWEIFNA;OEWIBHG;OAIWG;B;OUINFAOIWEBGUIONMG;OIAWEMF;AWGO;IUFN;OIDRQWEJOIJG;OAIERWJF;BG;OWAEIJFOIJEF;LMF;OERGH;OLFMAO;WEIJF;OERGJ;OERHGOA;WEIMFOWGHEWAIOMFERWOGHWAEFJOEWAIMFORIJAG;WOIR

okay so that was

sure something

that was

SURE SOMETHING

THAT SURE WAS SOMETHING HUH

THAT SURE WAS

SOMETHING

WHAT DO I DO WITH MYSELF AFTER THAT

HEKCING

SCREAMS

SWK JUST

THAT WAS A GOODBYE

THAT WAS HIMSAYING GOODBYE

SIR REALLY WENT

WELP

THINGS CAN’T LAST

NICE KNOWING YOU

STUFF ALWAYS CATCHES UP

DO WHAT YOU GOTTA BYEEE

FR THIS DUDE

READY TO DIE

READY TO SEAL HIMSELF INSIDE

WAHT LOOKS LIKE HIS NIGHTMARES AND ALL HIS WORST MISTAKES FOREVER HUH

FR HUH HIM AND HIS MONKEYS JUST GONE

AND THERE ENDS THE LEGEND OF THE MONKEY KING SUN WUKONG GREAT SAGE EQUAL TO HEAVEN

FREAKNBGBGBSLKF;MAWEO;IFAGB;OIAWEFM;WOIAN;SAFMLSKDFDSF

AND I HAVE TO WAIT FOR MORRREEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

Y’all mk is so freaking traumatized the Lad needs therapy asap he just got out of a traumatizing experience and he just watched his mentor get engulfed in freaky ink and THAT

THAT

“some monsters can never change”

“you make a couple of mistakes in your life and no one ever lets you live it down”

“you’ve done more for this world that i ever have”

YOU FREAKING KIDDING ME

HIS FACE

WHEN THAT INK STUFF IS GETTING HIM

HIS FACE THE WHOLE TIME

SO IN THE THEME SONG

HE IS FIGHTING MONKEY KING

HE IS SO IN THE THEME SONG

SO

YOUUUUU

YOU HEKCING

MONKIE CREW DIRECTIORS PEOPEL I LOVE YOU I WANT TO THROW HANDS I’M SCREAMIGNFBGFNAKWEFMAGN;OAIWEMF

THAT

oh yeah so

this season is

probably going to destroy me more than 3 did. 4 is probably going to be my favourite i’m calling it now, we’re dealing with monkey kings past trauma and depending on how its handled this will easily become my favourite welp here we go i’m ready to die bring it the heck on perishment here i come

ahem yes uh

thank you for coming to knox reacts today… uh we will be back with… more reactions when I get… more eps… in english i

i

all that dialogue that came out of the ink guys come on

THE MACAQUE SCREAM?????????????

THE LOOK ON WUKONGS FACE???

THE LBD LAUGH????????????

I AM

HOLY CRAPGBSESHGBWABG;WA4IEUONAEWFM

“Monkey! No violence.”

“NO!”

I’M SCREAMING

THE STREAK OF INK ON MK’S HAND FROM REACHING FOR THE MONKEYS

excuse me i need to go scream into a pillow nice having you here godspeed if you read all the way you’re as insane as i am i’m gonna go perish now or i’ll be keysmashing here all day have a good one SCREAMSBGS;LMAW;OGBWAEF

we get to see mk still having truama and trouble from the previous season you guys MONKEY KING’S PAST POPPING UP IN A MORE EMOTIONAL WAY AND YOU CAN SEE IT DANCING ON HIM PUSING HIM INTO THE GROUND MY GOOD SIR THIS IS LITERALLY EVERYTHING I COULD EVER WHAT I

[araminthe]

Saturday, 10th of August / Samedi 10 août 2024

────୨ৎ────

Sleep: still bad, from 4am to 12am

Health: Ate healthy food, very very little sugar. But I was busy so I couldn't eat when I wanted, I was so hungry (thanks cousin for giving me a meal at 11pm)

Work / Focus: only 30mins today, revised for my driving license before being interrupted by people

Today's description: Had peace and took care of my own matters until 4pm. Had to eat with family and the guests. Then my family is going to a store so I go with them. I buy a puzzle of a 1000 pieces there. I'm so excited for the puzzle.

I also buy a notebook but why does it smell so damn bad. It smells so bad, I threw some deodorant and perfume on it but the good smell was canceled by the bad smell. It smells this bad. Dammit.

Then, I spend some time at home, too much family is at home (includes the guests) so I can't work.

Then, 9pm, my sister is going away, so I go out to say goodbye, then take a walk outside my neighborhood with my cousin who lives a minute away.

Night comes quickly and we're still outside talking (we're right in front of our houses si it's safe).

Then to keep talking, I go to her home, and she says let's go eat, so we eat in the kitchen while talking, (it's my second actual meal of the day, thanks for feeding me (╥﹏╥) )

At midnight my bro comes to walk me home, even though we live a few minutes away, we never know, better be safe (that's a typical women's life, the world can be scary sometimes).

He also just got back from spending the night at my other cousin's place.

Then we just talk to one another and laugh until 1am.

I go to my room and my 12y old sis is still awake.

I wanted to journal for just a bit but then it's 3am and I just finished the journal I had been using for 5 months.

So now its 3:35 and I'll go to sleep very quickly.

(I swear I want to sleep early, but why am I always so busy until very late. I definitely need to make some changes 😭)

At least I don't overuse my phone, I improved on that and I can focus on my work when I want to, so it's a big positive point

(I only use it to talk with friends and write on Tumblr, I stopped scrolling, thus stopped destroying my brain, I feel my brain capacities coming back, but for that to definitely work, I need to sleep correctly)

I also eat healthily and do not overeat.

I guess I can't change eveything at once, it will have to be one thing at a time.

So next is, making more time for work through the day and improving my sleeping habits

Anyway, good night, sleep well and on time (don't take my example)

Bisou bisou, peace and love for y'all.

[sequinsmile-x]

Oizys - Part 2

Part 1

He never brought it up unless she did, small details emerging every now and again, usually after nightmares she would have once let him believe were about a cold floor in Boston, not the lumpy ground of the woods in Utah more than half a lifetime ago.

-x-

Hi friends!

This was only ever supposed to be a one shot, but I had an idea for a follow up and in classic Vic fashion it would not leave me alone so here we are. You definitely need to read part 1 for this to make sense!

I would like to dedicate this to @sapphoe-sun, who allows me to torment her with fics like this at my will. I'd apologise, but we both know I absolutely would not mean it <3

-x-

Words: 4.5k

Warnings: Troubled teen industry, implied/referenced abuse (nothing different to what would be mentioned in canon), trauma/PTSD

Read over on Ao3, or below the cut

Emily smiles as she gets out of the car, something in her chest easing as she walks towards Jess’s front door, excitement at seeing her children for the first time in a few days flooding through her system. Whilst she didn’t work for the BAU anymore, a decision she and Aaron had made a few months ago, she still helped out with cases when the team needed her. They’d spent the last few days in Ohio, the distance between her and her children feeling like she was on a different continent not just a couple of states away, and she was excited to be home. 

Around rounds the car and places his arm around her shoulders. He drops a kiss on the top of her head as they step onto Jess’s porch and Emily rings the doorbell. 

“I was thinking we should go to the zoo this weekend?” He says, and Emily tilts her head to look at him, “Vi loves the polar bear, Jack loves the lions. It’s one of the few places we can keep them both entertained.” 

Emily chuckles and nods, “That sounds like a good idea,” she says, the thought of an uninterrupted day with her family making warmth buzz in her veins, “We may have to carry Vi away from the polar bear though, she thinks he’s her best friend.” 

He laughs but any further conversation is cut off as Jess’s front door opens and he watches as something close to surprise flashes across his ex-sister-in-laws face, causing concern to spark in his stomach. 

“Oh, hi,” Jess says, leaning against the doorframe, smiling as she looks at Emily, “If you’re here for the kids they aren’t here,” she says, and both of their smiles slip from their faces, “Your mom came to get them a couple of hours ago, she said she wanted to take them for dinner and she’d let you know.” 

Any relief Emily had felt as they approached the house was now gone, her chest tighter by the second, “No,” she says, disconnecting herself from Aaron as she digs through her purse for her phone, her stomach twisting when she sees she has no new notifications, no texts or missed calls, “She didn’t call.” 

Anxiety spreads through her veins like wildfire, destroying everything in its wake as her brain fills with worse-case scenarios that she knows are ridiculous but she can’t shake off, all of them finding places to hide in her lungs making it impossible for her to take a deep breath. She hated her mother having the kids by herself even when it was a planned thing, every minute an eternity until she saw her children again, but this was worse. The thought that she had no idea where they were enough to make her choke. She sees flashes of the wilderness as she blinks, a familiar chill she’d never been able to shake crawling up her spine, its hand wrapping around her throat. 

She’s brought back to the moment by Aaron’s palm on her lower back, his warmth reaching her even through the material of her shirt, and she snaps out of it. She fixes a smile on her face, one she hopes the other woman can’t see through and clears her throat. Despite her panic, she knows Jess has no idea, that she doesn’t know the depth of Emily’s issues with her mother, and all she would have seen was a grandmother fresh back from an assignment in Europe who wanted to spend time with her grandchildren. 

“She must have just forgotten, We all know how Vi and Jack can talk anyone's ear off,” she says, grateful that by some miracle her voice doesn’t shake. She looks up at Aaron, “We should just go to my mother’s they are probably there by now.”

She turns and walks away without saying goodbye to Jess, something Aaron covers up with a comment she barely hears about how it had been a long few days and that she was tired before he says goodbye for the both of them. Emily is already in the car, her seatbelt fastened and her thumbnail in between her teeth, when Aaron opens the driver's door and climbs in next to her. 

The tension in the car is palpable, the air thick with everything she wants to scream but can’t. It had been eight months since the case that had made her accidentally admit her deepest secret to him and the team, a shared experience with an unsub that had briefly knocked down one of the walls she’d built when she was young. Aaron had been nothing but understanding since then. He agreed to not to her mother about it despite the fact Emily could so clearly see that he wanted to protect her from something that happened years before they had even met. He never brought it up unless she did, small details emerging every now and again, usually after nightmares she would have once let him believe were about a cold floor in Boston, not the lumpy ground of the woods in Utah more than half a lifetime ago. She wishes she’d told him years ago. That she’d set free the part of herself she’d locked up so tightly long before she had, his comfort and his warmth the balm she should have known she needed. 

She can feel his gaze burning into the left side of her face as she purposely stares forward, sure that if she looked at him she’d burst into tears.

“Em-”

“Can we just go?” She asks, cutting him off, her voice harsher than she means it to be. She sighs and places her hand on his knee, squeezing tightly in a silent apology, “Please?” 

There’s a beat of silence and for a moment she worries he’s going to argue with her, but then she hears the click of the key in the ignition followed by the start of the engine. He links one hand with hers and she holds on tightly, needing the connection she still wasn’t entirely sure how to ask for even after all this time. Affection he always seemed to know she needed before she did, always waiting at the sidelines ready to hand it out without being prompted. 

They drive to her mother’s in silence, the only sound the repeated attempts of Emily trying to call her, the phone going to voicemail each time before she hung up without leaving a message before trying again. 

Aaron holds her hand the entire way.

___

“Where the fuck are they?” Emily asks, her arms tight over her chest as they stand in her mother’s driveway after being told by her housekeeper that she wasn’t home yet and that the kids hadn’t been over at all.

“Have you tried calling her again?” Aaron asks, doing everything he can to keep calm himself despite his own anxiety rising. He needed to stay level-headed, something that Emily usually did herself, but the kids were, and always had been, her Achilles heel. The chink in her armour that made a woman who had faced death without blinking the nervous wreck in front of him. 

“I haven’t fucking stopped trying, Aaron,” she shouts, her jaw tight as she grinds her teeth, “How does she not know that she can’t just take them somewhere? Who the fuck does she think she is just disappearing with them?” 

Aaron knows that there isn’t an answer to that, and that whilst there was likely an explanation for all of this, no matter how flimsy, which Elizabeth would deem as a reason. He doesn’t say it though as he watches his wife pace back and forth in front of the house she had once lived in, her nerves shot as she tortures herself with scenarios he knows he won’t be able to talk her out of. The only thing that would calm her down would be seeing Jack and Violet.

He’s about to risk his career by abusing all of the systems he has access to, his phone in his hand to call Penelope to ask her to put out an APB on Elizabeth, when he hears the familiar churn of the front gate. He turns at the same time as Emily and the relief he feels is palpable when he watches Elizabeth’s car pull into the driveway. 

Emily swears she doesn’t have control of her body as she walks towards the car, her legs shaking underneath her as her mother’s driver gets out of the car and opens the back door, lifting Jack out and onto the ground. She takes a breath so deep that it hurts, catching on every rib as she sucks it in when she sees Elizabeth climb out of the car, Violet already in her arms from where she’d removed her from the car seat. She turns away for a moment so the kids can’t see her, and she tries to catch her breath as she wipes her cheeks, pushing away tears of relief that had escaped past her lashline. 

“Mom, Dad!”

She blows out a breath before she turns back to face them as Jack calls for them and she smiles widely, wearing it like a mask, as she crouches down as he runs over. She wraps her arms tightly around him and kisses the side of his head, the smell of his shampoo calming her down.

“Hi honey,” she says, pulling back to look at him, “I missed you.” 

“I missed you too,” he replies, squeezing her once more before he untangles himself from her to hug Aaron. Emily briefly watches the two of them together, before she’s distracted by her daughter. 

“Mama!”

She looks over at her two-year-old and beams, purposely ignoring her mother as she takes Violet from her and pulls her into her arms.

“Hi sweet girl, Mama missed you,” she says, placing repeated kisses against her little girl’s dark hair, “Mama missed you so much.” 

“Grandma took us for pizza,” Jack says, his voice full of excitement, and Emily looks at her mother, her eyes cold whilst neither of her children are looking at her.

“That was nice of her,” Emily says carefully, her eyes locked with Elizabeth’s as she makes her feelings clear despite her choice of words.

“It’s been a while since I’ve seen them so I thought I’d surprise them,” Elizabeth says, and Emily has to suppress a bitter chuckle, creating a lump in her chest that hurts, and she shakes her head. 

“It was a surprise for everyone,” Emily mutters, and Aaron steps closer to her, his hand on her back as he takes Violet from her, kissing the toddler's forehead as he says hello and settles her on the ground simultaneously. 

“Jack,” he says, turning to look at his son, “Take your sister and get in the car,” he pulls his phone out of his pocket, “You can play music on here or watch some of those videos she likes on YouTube if you want.” 

Jack looks back and forth between them, his eyes flicking from Emily and Elizabeth who were in a silent standoff, and Aaron who was still looking at him, and he nods. He reaches out for Violet's hand and starts to lead her to the car. 

“Come on Lettie,” he says, using the nickname only he used for his little sister, “That means the grown-ups have to talk.” 

Violet, mercifully unaware of the awkwardness her brother had picked up on, follows gladly, always happy to be wherever Jack was. The three adults wait until they hear the car door open and then close again, the silence that follows the slam of the door loud and uncomfortable. 

“Where the hell were you?” Emily asks, her anger barely restrained now the anxiety was gone and she knew her children were safe, “You can’t just take them somewhere without telling us.” 

Elizabeth sighs, “I told Jessica where we were going.” 

“I am their mother,” Emily grits out, her hands tight around her arms as she crosses them over her chest, her nails digging in through her shirt, “You need to tell me where they are. Via a phone call, or a text at least.” 

“Emily, you’re being dramatic-”

“I tried to call you,” she says, cutting Elizabeth off, “Dozens of times. Why didn’t you answer your fucking phone?”

If Elizabeth wants to reprimand her for her language she doesn’t, instead she sighs, shaking her head at what she clearly still thinks are dramatics from her daughter. 

“You know what I’m like with my phone, and I thought we’d be here before you.” 

Emily laughs bitterly, well aware of Aaron standing just behind her, “That’s not good enough.” 

Elizabeth crosses her arms over her chest, defensive in a way Emily doesn’t think she deserves to be, “You’re acting like you don’t trust me with them.” 

Emily scoffs, “That’s because I don’t,” she seethes through her teeth, keeping as quiet as she can despite her fury because she knows Jack and Violet are in the car and that no matter how loudly Jack played music on Aaron’s phone, they’d still be able to hear them, “I don’t trust you with them.”

Elizabeth visibly deflates, her arms dropping to her sides, and it only stokes the fire in Emily’s belly. Her mother’s surprise an accelerant to her anger, because the fact she was shocked, that she couldn’t think of one reason why Emily wouldn’t trust her, hurts more than she cares to admit even to herself. 

Anger had always been easier than acknowledging how much power her mother still had over her even now. 

“Emily-”

“Why would I trust you?” She cuts her mother off before she can say anything, not interested in hearing any of it, “I was taken from this house in the middle of the night when I was 16 years old,” she says, pointing at the place she had never quite been able to call home, “I woke up terrified to two men standing at the end of my bed and I thought ‘if I can get Mom’s attention this will be ok,’” she hates how her voice cracks, and she hears Aaron take another step closer to her, “But then I saw you standing at the door, watching it happen.” 

It hangs between them for a moment, the weeks that neither of them had ever spoken about, and she watches as Elizabeth looks past her, her eyes clearly fixed on Aaron, before she looks back at Emily. 

“That was for your own good,” Elizabeth replies carefully, “You were out of control.”

“I was a child. And don’t for one second pretend it was done for anything other than protecting your reputation.” 

If those weeks in the woods had taught Emily anything, it was that she had made the right call not telling her mother that she was pregnant the year before. She knew that her ability to make her own choices would have been pulled out from under her and she would have been sent away. Forced to live in hiding under a shelter built by shame and her mother’s disappointment until she returned 9 months later without a baby, doomed to live as if nothing had happened. 

She hoped that if, god forbid, something similar happened to Violet in the future she would come straight to her. That her daughter would know she was a safe space and always would be, and that she’d hold her hand through it all no matter what her decision would be. 

“Emily,” Elizabeth says, as if speaking to a child, “Why don’t we go inside and talk?” 

“Why?” She asks, “So the neighbours don’t hear? So no one else finds out you send your kid to a behavioural camp when all she wanted was for you to love her,” she says, purposely making her voice louder towards the end of the sentence. “I slept outside for weeks in a crappy tent full of holes and a sleeping bag that was probably older than I was,” she says, wiping a tear away furiously from her cheek, her knuckle rough against her skin, “We were barely allowed to eat. What did I do that deserved that?” 

Elizabeth doesn’t flinch and Emily hates that she can’t tell if thats because she already knew or because she was just so good at never showing how she really felt. She wants to see a reaction across her mother’s face. She wants to see horror, or sadness or guilt. Anything other than the same expression that had always made her want to scream. 

“You were drinking, partying, getting up to all sorts with who knows-”

“I was a teenage girl,” she says, chuckling humourlessly, “It doesn’t take being a profiler to know that all I wanted was your fucking attention,” she feels the fight drain from her and turns to look at Aaron, almost colliding with his chest he was so close now, “Let’s go home.” 

“Emily, you can’t just walk away,” Elizabeth calls after her. 

“Yes I can,” she replies, not even looking back, “I’m done.” 

“You are not a child-”

“Do you want to know what I thought when I didn’t know where you and the kids were?” Emily asks sharply, turning to look at her mother and taking a step back towards her. She waits until Elizabeth nods, and she shakes her head, “I thought you’d taken them somewhere like that.”

This time, horror does sweep over Elizabeth’s face, and jealousy that makes Emily feel guilty swoops through her belly. 

“Emily,” Elizabeth says, shaking her head, “I would never do that to them.” 

She feels something snap inside of her, any control she had over her emotions is gone in an instant. Everything she’d thought ever since those long weeks in the Utah wilderness coming out as she shouts at her mother. 

“Then why did you do it to me?” 

Her words echo around them, the accusation wrapped up as a question rippling outwards in a way Emily isn’t sure will ever stop. She finally tears her gaze away from Elizabeth’s and briefly looks at Aaron before she walks away, the car door opening and shutting quickly. 

Aaron looks up at his mother-in-law and has to remember every promise he has ever made to his wife to stop himself from saying something. He’d stayed silent throughout the argument, well aware that as much as he wanted to intervene Emily did not need him to protect her. She needed him to love her, to comfort her, and that is exactly what he intended to do. 

He stares at Elizabeth, his eyes stern as he stands in place a beat too long before he turns in silence to walk the short distance to the car. When he climbs in Emily is just settling back into her seat after clipping Violet into her car seat in the back and the only sound is a song playing on his phone that was still in Jack’s hand. He starts the car, and drives away, the gate still open from when Elizabeth and the kids had arrived. 

Emily reaches out for his hand and he takes it, squeezing her fingers together in a silent promise that everything would be ok.

___

It’s bedtime before they have a moment alone. 

If he hadn’t known Emily as long as he had, or hadn’t seen her ability to keep up appearances so many times first-hand, he would have been taken aback at how normal she had acted all evening. The switch between baring her scars to her mother outside the house where it had all begun, to helping their kids with homework and bath time with a smile on her face when they could home, was almost jarring. She laughed with Jack as he tried to teach her how to play one of his video games, the little boy unaware that Emily was already very good at it, but acting as if she wasn’t for a moment of mother-son bonding. She paced back and forth in Violet’s bedroom, the toddler half asleep against her shoulder as she demanded another lullaby, her mother’s singing voice one of the few things that could get her to sleep ever since she was a newborn.

He’d always been impressed with his wife’s ability to compartmentalise, even back when she was just a member of his team, but tonight it made him sad. His awareness of where it came from, that it was one of the things she shared with her mother, the woman who had let her down so spectacularly, a kick to the gut. 

They are both sat up in their bed, the door slightly ajar for when Violet inevitably joined them in the night, and their backs against the headboard before Emily says anything. 

“I don’t…I don’t know how to fix this,” she says, her focus on her hands as she rubbed cream into them, something she insisted on doing every evening, “I don’t know if I want to fix this.” 

He turns to look at her, his eyes lingering on her side profile, every bit as breathtaking as she was the day they met and more. She sometimes lamented getting older, her nose scrunched up as she looked at herself critically in the mirror. He thought, and made a point of telling her, that she had never looked more beautiful. Every change to her body, every laugh line on her face, a reminder of the life they shared together. 

He wondered if she hated getting older, if she rubbed cream into her hands that supposedly slowed down ageing, because there was part of her that worried she’d turn into her mother. Something he knows simply isn’t possible. 

“It’s not up to you,” he says, reaching out and tucking her hair behind her ear, smiling softly when she turns to look at him, “I think the ball is firmly in her court, sweetheart.” 

She nods, humming softly before she leans into his side. She sighs as she wraps his arm around her shoulders, his comfort enveloping her in the way she needed it to. 

“She’ll never apologise,” she muses, reaching out for one of his hands, half smiling when she doesn’t miss how he grimaces at the feel of her slippery skin but holds on to her anyway, “Even if she realises what she did was wrong she won’t…and I guess I have to find a way to be ok with that if I want to continue to have a relationship with her.” 

He wants to tell her that they never have to speak to her mother again if she doesn’t want to, but he knows it won’t achieve anything tonight. 

“Well,” he says, hooking his finger under her chin and making her look at him, “you don’t have to  be ok with it tonight. Or even tomorrow,” he leans in and stamps a kiss against her lips, “Or the day after that.”

She chuckles softly, and kisses him once more before pulling away, “Or the day after that?” 

“We can take this at whatever pace you want,” he assures her, “We’ll figure out what you want to do and go from there.” 

She smiles at him, her eyes shining with tears she doesn’t want to shed and she rests her forehead against his for a moment, “I love you.” 

“I love you too,” he says, cupping the back of her head, “Now we should try and get some sleep, we’ll have a little monster in our bed in the early hours of the morning demanding your attention.” 

She chuckles but lightly slaps his chest as they lay down, “Don’t call our daughter a little monster,” she says, and his only response is to pull her into his arms. She curls around his side, seeking out the warmth she would have once thought didn’t exist as she settles down, her head on his shoulder, “The kids love her.” 

He sighs and runs his hand up and down her back, his fingers catching on the notches of her spine, “I know they do,” he says, kissing the top of her head, “And I know whatever you end up deciding will be the right thing.”

She scoffs, unsure how he could be so sure when she felt so adrift, his love for her the liferaft she was desperately clinging onto. “How do you know that?” 

“Because you love them, and you’re the best mom on the planet,” he says, holding her impossibly closer when the praise makes her tense in his arms just like it always did, “You always put them first.” 

She hides her smile into his t-shirt, her eyes closed as she tries to hold off tears. It’s all she’d ever wanted - to be the mother she had craved when she was a kid herself, and she liked to think that’s exactly what she was. She was the one both Jack and Violet sought out when they were sick or upset, just like their father did, and she was the one they both came to when they needed help. She hoped that would continue, that it would change from helping them with homework or opening up a new toy to helping with problems with friends at school and their first love and heartbreak. She always wanted to be the first person they called, that they’d know she would always be there ready and waiting. 

“Let's get some sleep,” she whispers, already being lulled into relaxation by her husband’s hand dragging up and down her back as the exhaustion of the day finally takes over. 

“Love you, sweetheart,” he says, his lips against the top of her head as she gets heavier against him. 

“You too,” she mumbles, her words slurring together. 

He’s still awake, keeping a vigil over Emily, her soft snores filling the room, when Violet sneaks in several hours later, her eyes bleary and her hair a mess as she drags her toy polar bear behind her. If the toddler realises he’s awake she doesn’t acknowledge him, instead walking around the bed and climbing onto it, crawling to her mother’s side. She’s barely laid a hand on her, her tiny fists grasping at her mother’s t-shirt when Emily stirs, turning to face Violet with her eyes half open. 

“Hi Vi,” she mumbles as the little girl lays down next to her, curling up in her mother’s already waiting embrace.

“Mama,” the toddler mutters, already mostly asleep again now she was in Emily’s arms. 

Aaron watches the whole thing with amusement as his wife starts snoring again and he's not sure she was ever fully awake. He settles onto his side and wraps his arms around the two of them, finally allowing himself to drift off to sleep, safe in the knowledge that whatever happened next, they’d all be ok because they had each other. 

-x-

Tag list:

@ssa-sparks, @lukeclvez, @lyds102, @glockleveledatyourcrotch, @hotchnissenthusiast, @danadeservesadrink, @ssamorganhotchner, @emilyprentissisgod, @notagentprentiss, @freesiasandfics, @emilyshotchniss, @thecharmingart, @paulitalblond, @hancydrewfan, @camille093, @whitecrossgirl, @moonlight-2-6, @rawr-jess, @florenceremingtonthethird, @jareauswife, @ms-black-a, @beebeelank, @aubreyprc, @zipzapboingg, @psychopath-at-heart, @criminalmindsgonewrong, @fionaloover, @kinqslcys, @prentissinred, @ccmattis-22, @denvivale317, @thrindis, @hotchsguccitie, @cmfouatslota77, @alexblakegf, @aliensaurusrex, @prentissxhotch, @emobabeyy, @victoiregranger, @stormyweatherth, @wanderingdreamer009, @ssablackbird, @luhwithah, @lex13cm, @prentiss-theorem, @dont-emily-me, @mrs-ssa-hotch, @jocyycreation, @itsmytimetoodream, @hotchnissgroupie, @controversialpooh, @capsshinyshield, @canuck-eh

Join my tag list here!

[kath-artic]

blahh

very glad I went up to see my friend for his birthday yesterday, it was just weird. 3 of the people I was most looking forward to seeing couldn't make it and the other friends I had at the party had ridden in w the friend that I had that major falling out with. and I had fully intended on standing my ground and being mature about it all and talking with everyone as if it was all water under the bridge, but the moment I saw her I just couldn't do it. I got so worried that if I were to even so much as acknowledge her it'd turn into something nasty and then the person that would be hurt most would be my friend who was hosting. and I know that that anxiety wasn't true to life because as bad as I've seen her get, I know she respects our friend enough to not do something like that and as much as I no longer feel I can trust her enough to be any sort of friend of hers, I still don't like how my knee jerk reaction is to undersell her like that. especially whenever I'd talk with another one of our friends and I'd laugh and I'd just imagine "god she must be sitting there thinking I'm so fake, that I'm putting on such a show of friendship to these people but she's seen 'the real me,'" like regardless of what she was thinking it feels gross to assume that someone is thinking cruel thoughts about you. its not fair to anybody involved. but it did have me on a bit of a spiral where I was just thinking "oh I cant talk freely with my friends right now. anything I say will be diminished and warped" and so on. and the only person making me feel that way realistically is myself. despite everything that she said to me, I can't sit here and act like shes some big villain that's destroyed my relationship with my friends. idk, there's more I can be doing.

to my own credit though, it is frustrating to have been so excited about getting back into dating after years of not seeing anyone only to have your very casual relationship blown up into this whole ultimatum. my relationship with the last person I was seeing was never that serious, in fact the question of whether or not it should be more serious only entered my mind once I'd started spiraling after being cut off from my friends and that was shortly before I broke things off with him. but to be told that me going on a date was somehow me making my friend into a second choice, to be told that i'd only known him for a few months so I was acting ridiculous for being so serious about him when I wasn't that serious about him at all, and then to have another friend that was hardly involved in all that turn around and call that experience wasteful... idk. I probably could take more accountability for the things I do passively, but I just cant get over the fact that I didn't really do anything and now people look at me as if I'm a teenager going through a phase all because one person decided to treat my casual relationship as if it was anything more than that, as if I expected it to last forever and that because it ended I'm somehow a fool. I've never told most of my friends my side of any of it because I don't wanna turn anyone against anyone, that's never been the point, but I cant help but feel as though I'm the only one that's been doing that. and now I'm in a real relationship and I feel like I cant tell my friends about it because they'll just think I'm "going through one of my phases." and it hurts so much because they're all so important to me and I want to be able to share my happiness with them but this happiness is too important to me for me to put it somewhere where others may not appreciate it. idk. and its had me suppressing an entirely different spiral all day about justifying this happiness. about trying to perfectly construct a future where no one can tell me I was wrong for being happy. and its that kind of thinking that gets me acting crazy and I cannot allow it to affect what I've got going on right now. its too important to me.

i think the answer is I've just gotta have a small get together with them where we can all catch up without the chaos of a party full of extended family and extended friend groups where everyone's attention is being pulled 50 different ways. because it makes me kinda sad that matt's been telling everyone under the sun about me and I don't really have anyone to tell about him (at least of people I see in person). and now that I've expressed that I can also say that's bullshit, I just have to hang out with my film friends because I can tell them anything (only concern would be my one friend in the film dept who had a crush on me and who I was considering going out with and then decided we would prob be better off as friends)