#vell says things

[bevsdee]

tng + textposts

[stupidphototricks]

Nobody's doing it like Otto Chriek. He's a vampire who has sworn off drinking b-word. He likes hanging out in cellars and hanging from chandeliers. Photography is his passion, and his passion is painful and comes with a high risk of discorporation. He experiments with dark light and philosophizes about the nature of time. He figures out how to create photo plates with hardly any effort. He invents the three-color printing process. He designs a method to auto-reanimate himself. He lays down his life for the team (but then picks it up again*).

*(yes this is a joke from the book, all credit to Sir Terry)

William caught Sacharissa's gaze. Her look said it all: We've hired him. Have we got the heart to fire him now? And don't make fun of his accent unless your Uberwaldean is really good, okay? -- Terry Pratchett, The Truth

"Vell?" he said sternly. "Vot you all looking at? It is just a normal reaction, zat is all. I am vorking on it. Light in all itz forms is mine passion. Light is my canvas, shadows are my brush." "But strong light hurts you!" said Sacharissa. "It hurts vampires!" "Yes. It iss a bit of a bugger, but zere you go." -- Terry Pratchett, The Truth

William vaguely remembered something someone had once said: the only thing more dangerous than a vampire crazed with blood lust was a vampire crazed with anything else. All the meticulous single-mindedness that went into finding young women who slept with their bedroom door open got channeled into some other interest, with merciless and painstaking efficiency. -- Terry Pratchett, The Truth

"Good mornink," said Otto. "Do not movink, please, you are making a good pattern of light and shade." -- Terry Pratchett, The Truth

"I cannot promise an absolutely vunderful job first cat out of zer bag, off course." -- Terry Pratchett, The Truth

"Bodrozvachski zhaltziet! …oh, sorry, Miss Sacharissa! Zere has been a minor pothole on zer road to progress…" -- Terry Pratchett, The Truth

"Zer philosopher Heidehollen tells us zat the universe is just a cold soup of time, all time mixed up together, and vot we call zer passage of time is merely qvantum fluctuations in zer fabric of space-time." -- Terry Pratchett, The Truth

(Sounds kind of like a big ball of wibbly-wobbly timey-wimey stuff...)

"It [dark light] is a light without time. Vot it illuminates, you see . . . is not necessarily now." -- Terry Pratchett, The Truth

"You vanted color, I gif you color," said Otto sulkily. "You never said qvick." -- Terry Pratchett, The Truth

A couple of bits that are more spoilerish under the cut:

That thing where Otto screams and (sometimes) turns to ash when he takes a picture is particularly funny if you imagine it from the point of view of the unwitting photographic subject, in this case Cheery Littlebottom:

"Ah, a vonderful framing effect!" said Otto, who'd been on the other side of the door. Click! William shut his eyes. WHOOMPH. "Ohhbuggerrrrr . . ." This time William caught the little piece of paper before it hit the ground. The dwarf stood open-mouthed. Then she closed her mouth. Then she opened it again to say: "What the hell just happened?" "I suppose you could call it a sort of industrial injury," said William. -- Terry Pratchett, The Truth

And the scene where Otto goes up against William's father is just a thing of beauty.

"Ve have people like you back home," he said. "Zey are the ones that tell the mob vot to do. I come here to Ankh-Morpork, zey tell me things are different, but really it is alvays the same. Always zere are damn people like you! And now, vot shall I do with you?" [...] "You think I bite him? Shall I bite you, Mister Lordship? Vell, maybe not, because Villiam here thinks I am a good person." He pulled Lord de Worde close, so their faces were a few inches apart. "Now, maybe I have to ask myself, how good am I? Or maybe I just have to ask myself… am I better zan you?" He hesitated for a second or two, and then in a sudden movement jerked the man towards him. With great delicacy, he planted a kiss on Lord de Worde's forehead. Then he put the trembling man back down on the floor and patted him on the head. -- Terry Pratchett, The Truth

[arachnixe]

Small Minded

They say there are powers—unfathomable and unnamed—buried deep within the earth. Boons and banes and spirits and seductions call to the ambitious, but I've never known of someone actually finding one until now.

What does one say to a dark sorceress on the cusp of her victory?

My knight, so loyal and brave, wheezes and gasps for breath within his broken armor. Our roguish friend, normally so quick witted and talkative, lies silent and unmoving in a pool of blood. I don't have the strength left to heal either of them.

"Let it sink in, Princess. I've won."

She has. I bow my head in defeat.

"The Godsblood is mine."

It hovers within her reach, an unshaped carmine gem formed of the crystallized blood of whatever forgotten god was buried here. The sickly sweet scent of its power, like rotting fruit, fills the air.

"With it, I shall wield ultimate power."

Yes, the power to remake the world according to her whim, to raise mountains from the sea or to sink cities into the abyss at her pleasure, perhaps even to rewrite the laws of space and time if she desires.

"At last, I will depose your father and rule all of Rutennia in his place!"

I jerk my head upright and stare at her in disbelief. "What?"

The sorceress Velle grins like an idiot. "You heard me, Princess. Your whole kingdom will be mine."

My face must betray my feelings, judging by the way her confidence falters at my reaction. "You've claimed a power like this, and all you can think to do with it is take over this kingdom?"

"Your father—"

"Yes. I know." I wave off her explanation, disinterested. "He didn't see your worth, you wanted to show us all, I get it, but if all you wanted to do was rule Rutennia, you could have just courted me and then poisoned my father!" I scrub at my face in frustration and suppress a scream. "What small-minded ambitions!"

That throws her off balance. "Small minded? I won! I'm getting everything I want!"

"And what you want," I retort, "is a single grain of sand on a beach." I ball my hands into fists and stalk toward her, outraged that my friends died for so little. "You are a cat who stole a siege engine to catch the mouse that once eluded you. You wouldn't even know what to do with the kingdom once you had it."

Velle barks an indignant laugh. "As if the king does!" She casts a hand toward me, magically halting my approach. "No, he has others handle all the administrative duties so he can simply bask in the worship of his subjects!"

"And when the people don't worship you?" I ask through gritted teeth, "because trade with Melland and Istow has completely halted without their kings' cousin sitting our throne?"

"I'LL MAKE THEM!" She makes a tugging motion in the air, yanking me forward to shout the words in my face. "With the Godsblood I can make my subjects dance like puppets at my command! They will all kneel before my throne."

This close to the gem, the scent fills my senses. It leaves me feeling lightheaded, giddy, almost delirious, even. It draws an inappropriate giggle out of me before I can retort. "Build a doll out of cloth and sticks. Make it kneel. Put worshipful words in its mouth. It will mean just as much. Personally, I got tired of playing with dolls at age eight."

Her face reddens. "You think you can trick me into giving up my goals? You think you can convince me this power is worthless?"

"Worthless?" I cackle. "The power of a dead god, worthless? No, only the things you imagine doing with it are worthless. You want to know what you should do with all that power? I'll tell you."

She leans forward, obviously curious.

"Istow's ports give it mastery of the sea and trade we need," I explain, as if to a child, "but we don't need them if we bring the sea to us. Flood their plains, drown their whole nation if you'd like, but take that bargaining chip away."

Some dim, distant part of me says I shouldn't give her ideas, but every inhale of the intoxicating aroma of Godsblood fills my mind with visions of what that power can do. Why can't she see it as clearly as I do?

"Melland," I continue, "is weak but well defended by the terrain. Pull the mountains down onto their capital, swallow their impregnable fortress in a new chasm, and their resources become ours."

Velle's eyes light up with understanding. "Yes, yes, you're right!"

No, no, no, even I'm still thinking too small. Like a petty warlord with a mere weapon. But this is no weapon, it's the power of a god. I take a deep breath and focus. I need to be thinking like a god.

"No, why set our sights on conquering our neighbors," I muse aloud, "when there's a whole world out there to reshape? We don't need what they have. It's not a zero sum game anymore."

Judging by her face, I've lost Velle again, but I don't care. My thoughts race. With every breath I take, my vision crystallizes.

She doesn't need to understand. I don't speak for her to hear; I speak because I must. "A perfect world, answering only to me. Every river, every pebble, the mountains and the seas, the very stars in the sky, all mine…"

"No." The sorceress shakes her head and tightens her grip on the magical restraints holding me in place. "The Godsblood is mine. I found it. I got here first. You lost."

She sounds so petulant, so small. Velle doesn't understand power, not really. She's merely a spurned court magician who deluded herself into thinking she was more, not someone with the will to rule.

And this is no inert stone. The heart's blood of a god demands to be wielded. It demands the will to wield it.

It was mine the moment I decided it was mine.

Without transition, the stone is already in my hand. A twitch of a thought tears Velle's restraints to pieces, no more than a cobweb caught on a boot.

She's screaming, shouting something, flinging spells my way, but my attention falls instead upon the crumpled figures of my dear companions.

With a thought, I am no longer next to her. I stand beside my knight, seeing him inside and out. His body is a trifle to mend, and like wiping dust from a windowsill, I smooth away the injuries. With little effort, I scan the thoughts within his mind, and… oh, what useful secrets lurking within! Many ways to control this one if he chooses to resist me.

My thief is dead. I refuse to abide that for the only one I recall who could consistently make me laugh, and a god deserves a jester even more than a king, right? All it takes is a touch to reignite the spark of life and bid the soul return to its body; funny, I always imagined resurrection to be a more difficult process.

Last of all, my sorceress. I don't need to read her thoughts to recognize her profound denial of the reality of this situation. She flings chaotic bolts of fire and lightning and ice at me, howling threats and curses that mean very little.

If I want her as my high priestess, I should impress her more.

We stand in the middle of a great empty ribcage, and yes, I think a god-bone crown would suit me. Brittle ribs bend like supple grasses, shrink and weave themselves into an ornate crown to rest on my head. I crush the Godsblood gem in my fist and direct the shards to implant themselves in pleasing patterns within the bone.

Velle ceases her assault. I watch her delusions melt away upon witnessing me destroy the gem. The light of understanding dawns within her mind that my power is entirely mine, never to be stolen. A god-bone collar snakes around her neck as gently as a princess's gloved hand, and I can taste her complete surrender.

The whole world also aches for my touch, but it will have to wait just a little longer for my design to perfect it. There are many more boons and banes buried within this graveyard world, and I'll need every last one if I wish to extend my reach beyond even the stars.

And my first three worshippers still need training.

[autumn-hiraeth]

love, love, love..

pairing: adam warlock x guardian!reader

just fluff

a/n: writing one shots isn't my strong point, but I'm trying due to the lack of Adam's fics... hope you enjoy it!

I need more Adam's fics!! :(

“ Adam's masterlist”

All your friends knew that there was something going on between you and the Golden perfect boy. Everyone seemed to notice, except for you and Adam.

So the guardians, Cosmo and Phyla Vell's main idea, had come up with a plan so that you and Adam could be together, 'cause all your friends were tired of seeing you two flirt so painfully and come to nothing.

" He follows you like a lost puppy Y/n" Nebula pointed out, although it wasn't a secret that since you saved Adam the golden boy didn't leave your side.

"It's just 'cause he is scared, he'll learn to do things without me around" you reasoned and your friend mocked.

"You two sleep in the same room"

" It was only once!" you quickly said, your cheeks turning red as you remembered the time Adam had accidentally fallen asleep with you, you two used to do some reading and listen to music every night. No one would have known about the little slip between you and Adam if only Drax hadn't seen it and he had told everyone.

"I'm just trying to say that it's okay to feel love for him Y/n... you two are... cute together" you opened your mouth to reply, but Nebula added "if Quill were here, he'd say there's an unspoken thing between you and Adam"

.

.

"So you and Y/n, huh?" it was Kraglin's turn.

Adam looked at his friend when he mentioned your name. "We've seen how you look at her and turn into an idiot when you're with her" That one had been Drax.

The golden boy blushed in embarrassment, he had never had the intention of looking at you for a long time, but he liked doing it, he liked being with you and that's why he had pretended to have fallen asleep the other night, he liked being hugged by you and longed for another night with you.

"Y/n is the most beautiful creature, I'd be a fool not to feel that way about her, right?" Kraglin nodded enthusiastically, apparently it wouldn't be that hard to let Adam know that he was in love with you because he already knew it.

"Then why don't you tell her?" Kraglin asked and Adam sighed.

"I wanna tell her but I don't know how"

Drax patted his shoulder "maybe I can help you, silly man in love"

.

.

"Y/n..." Adam spoke, stopping your reading; both were in your room, specific place? your bed; you were holding Adam while you both read, but neither of you was really paying attention to the story of Achilles and Patroclus.

You couldn't stop thinking about what Nebula had told you.

"I need to tell you something" he freed himself from your arms over his body and looked at you, face to face. Drax had told him that he had to be direct with his words and actions.

"I'm in love with you" he confessed, expecting the worst even though Kraglin had told him nothing bad would happen.

You looked at him for a few seconds before finally speaking "I love you too, Adam" you muttered and Adam smiled, his heart was pounding and he felt so happy that his feelings were reciprocated. He loved being loved for you.

After that Adam wasted no time in following Drax's advice; the golden boy pushed you against the bed with determination, his body on yours made you feel safe and warm, then Adam cupped your cheeks and kissed you awkwardly making you gasp from his actions and his tongue on your mouth.

.

.

" finally they are together, happy?" Rocket said and Phyla Vell and Cosmo nodded happily " fine, now let's leave the lovebirds alone "

[papil0nglegs]

One small step at a time! 🛸

Tf2 x Juno!reader

A/n: This one’s for all my overwatch babes <33 ik this idea is rlly niche but this was so fun to write I’m so proud of this. Most of these can be interpreted as platonic but read however you’d like, enjoy ✨

Warnings: Scottish people, Drinking, Passing out drunk

Vocab: (p/f) - Parental Figure

Engineer

He has such a father daughter relationship with you

When you first landed on earth he was extremely fascinated by the technology your (p/f) discovered to get to mars, especially your anti-gravity boots

“So these things are just makin’ you float around?”

“Yeah! I’m not really used to earths gravity so my (p/f) sent me off with overboots!.. how do you guys get anything done while stuck on the ground?”

“We just make do with what we can, sugar”

His fav activity with you? Lounging. Doesn’t look like much but his rancho relaxer + you using your jetpack to ‘sit’? Soo cute

You guys would just be chilling in his workshop after doing whatever task it was you were doing <3

“You want a beer, Buttercup?”

“No thank you! I’m not really fond of drinks with alcohol since all we could drink at mars was juice and water”

“shoot, glad I’m not you”

He’s definitely one of the mercs who warmed up to you the fastest, he’s just chill like that.

Medic

Pls don’t tell him your from mars, weird shit is gonna happen

He’s going to treat you like one of his test subjects, at first it starts tame with general check ups but it escalated pretty fast.

When doing his uber surgery on you he decided to explore more things

“..how long was I out, Dr. Ludwig?”

“Oh not long!! Just two.. days”

“What? You said it would only take about 20 minutes!!”

“Vell yes I did say that my Martian friend, however I must say curiosity got the best of me! I simply had to know more about your anatomy”

“Uhm,, ok”

Yeah you’re so scared of him now lol

But of course you two do need to work together to try healing your teammates

He loves it when you heal him, it’s always a pleasant surprise since he never expects to get healed, like ever

“Here! I can help you!!”

“Oo, so vats how it feels..”

Spy

Yeah he doesn’t think your good for the team

Sure it was interesting to meet someone who was born and raised in a completely different planet, however your inexperience with earth was enough for him to neglect you

Once you visited his smoke room to find abundance of books, you being new to earth were excited to see all the knowledge they carried

“Wow! Can I borrow this one? I’d like to learn more about earth and its continents!!”

“Go ahead, I never made use of that thing anyways”

It always catches him off guard how little knowledge you have about earth, especially since your were chosen to go on the mission to earth

Once you randomly found a globe somewhere in the break room and got so fascinated by it

“Earths colors are beautiful, I’d really like to go the that purple one!”

“Y/n, Russia is not purple. And you don’t want to visit there, it is full of trash people.”

“Oh..I see”

He doesn’t guide you to earth like the rest of the mercs, he wants to really straighten your back and push you to your limit

“Would a croissant go well with your meal good sir?”

“Excuse me?”

“You seem like you are from the Western Europeans my (p/f) brought back to mars!! Au revoir madam, please enjoy your tea”

Tbh that moment made his heart melt by just a little bit. Hey, he’s not a monster he can have heartfelt moments.. sometimes

Sniper

You are so fascinated by him, literally just him

For the most part it’s because of his job title ‘assassin’, you’ve never heard of such a job back home.

“Is it true you earn currency to kill specific people?”

“Why of course Sheila, who else would do it?”

“Well, on mars we kinda just let them live even if we don’t like them.. that’s a thing here right??”

You love going on roadtrips with him so he can show you around, just to see get a feel of that New Mexican dirt

You two have a relation where he misses his parents despite always arguing with them, and you miss your (p/f) because you two now live on completely different planets.

On those trips you tend to enjoy chilling in the back of his trailer. You can’t stand spending another second on an uncomfortable leather seat!! So you roam around a lot in what he basically considered his home.

“How was it back there? ‘eard sum ruckus out in the front.”

“Oh right! I am trying to get use to earths gravity so I tried cleaning up here a bit, I hope you don’t mind!!”

He almost cried, you reminded him of his ‘mum’

Whenever you’re curious about any animal you always go to him, we all know Australia a place with weird animals so

“Mr. Mundee, is this spider deadly?”

“I’m not sure, you should probably check in with doc tho. Your face lookin pretty swelled there mate..”

“Oh thank the stars! I was sure this was a lion..”

You passed out from the poison.

It’s good tho, sniper carried you to Medics room like the big brother he is 🧡

Demo-man

YOURE SO SCARED OF HIM

MORE THAN MEDIC

Not only is he obsessed with the drink that you’ve literally never heard of until you arrived in earth, but the way he acts makes it seem like crack

You have so many questions, they almost never get answered because he’s either too drunk or he’ll pass out with medic dragging him out the room

“Is it true that your stomach now declines any normal drinks?”

“Ayouhhh it’s just beerdelicois burp”

“..is he going to be alright?”

“Oh no worries my Martian friend, this happens all the time.. although I can never tell if he’ll live or not”

When on the battlefield he’s always screaming and creaming, sometimes it scares you so much to the point where you ask your fellow teammates to help you

“MR. CONAGHER, I THINK DEMO IS TRYING TO ATTACK ME!!”

“Darlin’, I thinks he’s just tryna get some healing..”

“But why is it yelling.. ☹️”

Now you’re scared of Scottish people, and convinced they probably eat their youth

Soldier

He def plays a father role like engineer, but way less charm and warmth to him

He’s like a dad at a soccer game, he’ll cheer you on but aggressively, to the point where it seems like he’s booing you

In the lobby he’d always do his soldier talk, and it never fails to make you do you best

“NOW, WILL YOU HAND THAT TEAMS ASS AND FEED IT TO HIM, OR AM I GOING TO HAVE TO DRAG YOURS BACK TO MARS TO YOUR MOMMA?”

“No sir!! I’ll feed it to them!”

“THATS RIGHT MAGGOT”

Soldier is always hard on you, sometimes he calls you a ‘space commie’ just for jokes, although his tone definitely sets you off

When you unleashed your orbital ray he started screaming about ‘the commies getting to us’, you had to reassure him several times that it was something you had full control of

Scout

This guy was ecstatic when he found out his new teammate was going to be from space, scout is really into comics (even tho he can’t read) so his imagination went wild when Ms Pauling announced that he’d be fighting alongside what he considered an alien

Once you arrived he was in awe, he thinks you’re the coolest person on the team solely because you’re from another planet.

But he did quickly recognize that you weren’t use to like, anything on earth.

He handed you a cold can of Bonk just for you to look at him confused

“What do I do with this?”

“You drink it?”

“..um I don’t think you’re supposed to drink ‘atomic punch’, that sounds like it hurts 0-0”

He had to teach you how to drink stuff that wasn’t in an aluminum bag, you didn’t take a liking to it but you got used to it

Scout offered you to sleep on the top bunk because he wanted to be nice and all, huge mistake.

The next morning you completely forgot you were on a different planet, so you rolled and fell 9 feet from the bed to the floor.

“Jesus y/n!! what the hell happened?”

“I think I.. fell? Falling feels weird..”

Gets so hype when you two are on the same team, he’s so ready to clock the enemy team with orbital ray

“Scout! My orbital ray is ready!! ^^”

“Whooo! Let’s go then E.T what are we waitin’ for??”

For the most part he’s the one who shows you everything you need to know about earth, baseball is his favorite thing to teach cuz obviously

When you joined him to watch a baseball match you were so excited yet so lost

“What happens if they win? Is this a war?”

“No? Toots it’s just a game”

“Hm, intresting.. then I must try this ‘game’ too!”

[axelthegreat101]

Mediscout??? There’s like nothing on it it’s such a rare pair pleaseee

Ooh, foxy grandpa and the annoying Boston Boy. (I’m sorry, I had to)

Medic X Scout Head cannons

This ship is.. interesting, to say the least

Medic finds Scout pretty annoying at first, often kicking him out of the Med Bay when he gets fed up with his constant talking

But over time he becomes to find it endearing, letting him ramble while he works on his experiments

I think that Scout would be heavily in denial when he realises he likes Medic, trying to avoid him at all costs; he’s died more often in battle because he ran out of Health Packs and didn’t want to call Medic

Medic eventually confronts him about it, which leads Scout into confessing right then and there

When they actually become a thing, it’s a bit awkward at first

They both have zero relationship experience whatsoever, so half the time neither knows what the heck to do

Medic still lets Scout go on his rants while he works, although now they sit closer together than they used to, Scout often touching his leg to Medics

Scout also likes to kiss Medics cheeks randomly, running past him in battle and pausing to hook one arm around his neck and pulling him in for a quick kiss before dashing off, often shouting something like “Love ya!” over his shoulder, leaving the German blushing and smiling at the sweet action

He often gets back at him by sneaking up on him and kissing the nape of his neck, making Scout jump slightly and making his face flush red

”Ay, c’mon Doc, y’know that ain’t fair.” “Vell, maybe I wouldn’t have to do this if you didn’t kiss me in battle~” “Oh God..”

Whew, this was really fun to write. Hope you guys (and others) enjoy it

[avengerphobic]

marvel really does miss out on doing the funniest thing and doing a fathers day comic tbh. I want a fathers day comic but its just marvels really fucked up dads. A reprint of that comic that logan kills akihiro, Ultron monologues about how he is his own father since hes walking around in Hank's corpse, Kristoff sending Dr Doom a happy fathers day text and doom texts him back that he no longer considers him a son, Nathaniel Richards contemplates being not a piece of shit and tell Reed he's got a brother (kristoff) but decides against it because fuck them both, Scott Lang spends a whole issue spying on Cassie as ant sized this one is only a little fucked up, Bruce decides to hang out with Lyra and neither of them like it, Mar-Vell comes back to life and hangs out with Genis-vell, Phyla vell, and Teddy and he says smth homophobic and theyre all like 😬

[ehlihr]

Move In Day!

comic for class

Transcript under cut.

Page 1 Nod: Vell, does it make sense to you? Foley: … Like… Sorta? Nod: Ech! You useless, pathetic little freak- Foley: Hey! Nod: Fay-rouuuuuuuz! Foley: Ugh, not Fayrouz. Fayrouz: Yuh-huh. Nod: Get in here! Foley is beink useless to me. Fayrouz: Yo-kay.

Page 2 Fayrouz: Classic Foley. Foley: Rude! Fayrouz: So- What’s the deal? Nod: Sigh! Foley: So dramatic. Nod: So… there vas this voman- Fayrouz: Hot. Go on. Foley: Oh moons, not this again.

Page 3 Nod: I was on the subway, going southbound. And as I stepped onto the platform- I felt the hair on the back of my neck rise. And I fucked up, I think- I made eye-contact.

Page 3 Nod: I was on the subway, going southbound. And as I stepped onto the platform- I felt the hair on the back of my neck rise. And I fucked up, I think- I made eye-contact.

Page 4 Fayrouz: Ooooh. Foley: Yikes. Fayrouz: Yeesh. Foley: I mean- that’s like the golden rule- Fayrouz: Woof, I mean… making eye contact? Jeez… Nod: I know. Fayrouz: Like, who knows what she was. Nod: I know. Foley: Smells like fairy to me. Fayrouz: Oh, that was totally a fairy. Nod: I know. Foley: Classic fairy. Fayrouz: The last thing we need in this house is fairy shit. Nod: I know. Foley: Was she even hot. Nod: Yes. Nod: Vell, it’s not like I told her my name, you clowns. Also, ve vere goink opposite directions, so- *KNOCK KNOCK* Nod: Oh fuck Foley: Oh you really fucked it, Nod. Fayrouz: You literally jinxed it- that’s fairy shit.

Page 5: Fayrouz: I could hex her. Foley: I could eat her? Nod: Both of you stop. I’ll go and get the door. Vatever. Foley: Hate that idea. Nod: God, shut up, Foley.

Page 6: ???: Hello!!! Foley: Oh fuck! Fayrouz: Oh, she knows we can’t say no- Nod: Vell… at least ve have a spare room.

[dekusleftsock]

“You should know more than anyone what a soul can do when they take charge of their own fate”—an analysis/accumulation of how Alastor views choice, redemption, and most importantly, Heaven

This quote I feel has gone… surprisingly unnoticed fandom wise. Hell, I haven’t even seen shippers address it. The reason? It destroys any and all ideas that Alastor doesn’t believe in redemption.

Now, why do I say this? We don’t know how Adam got into heaven in the first place, that is true, however we DO HAVE the context of the biblical story of Adam and Eve.

The story never tells us where they go. The Bible never outright says whether they fell because of the ultimate sin of temptation, nor does it say they repented themselves in their living life. However, because in Hazbin we have the context that Adam is both a winner and the leader of the angelic army, PROVES to me that in some way some how, Adam repented for his crime and the ultimate sin.

Adam, the person who literally made the worst sin in all of creation with the biggest impact, is in heaven. Not only that, but he’s the leader of the Angelic army, he has control. He has influence. He has power.

Fundamentally, repenting in the afterlife and in the living life work the same. They both take steps in betterment, and you can and should be forgiven for crimes that were committed. Because betterment isn’t just some selfish choice to make yourself happy, it’s for everyone. When you improve yourself, the people around you tend to be happier. Regardless of how heaven feels about it, or how YOU feel about it, improvement of any kind helps the world go round.

Alastor isn’t stupid, he isn’t naive, he isn’t even power hungry. He’s intelligent, he can put two and two together. If a winner who made the ultimate sin was somehow able to repent, anyone can. And that is dangerous information.

He sings about how he refuses to be altruistic, how he refuses to care. Not because he never BELIEVED in redemption, oh no, he does. He knows it’s possible, everyone can change—cut from the same fabric, a winner can just as much fall as a sinner can rise.

No, the reason Alastor hates this altruistic behavior or genuine care for others, is that it challenges the belief that he is unfeeling, inhuman. That he can rip himself from his very fundamentals.

Alastor is prideful. Aside from the serial killer aspect, it’s probably why he’s in hell in the first place. There’s a reason he parallels Lucifer so much, a reason his narrative foil is vox. Both of these men suffer from their abilities to look past their own power and reach, to the point one of them is the ruler of the pride ring.

And this prideful problem is what keeps him from accepting change—he has to be special, he has to be different, he has to be the performer, he has to be in control. Why wouldn’t a man so obsessed with control over his status and the people around him NOT BELIEVE in redemption? That’s so unbelievably far from that concept. It’s the polar opposite even.

Alastor is actively choosing not to redeem himself. It’s honestly the main flaw in Charlie’s plan to begin with—the average sinner is far more likely to choose redemption because they have been put in a place of genuine suffering; however, overlords are unique in the ways that overindulgence actively empowers them. They are choosing to bad things, not because of happenstance or even trauma. It’s why characters like Valentino are so easily dislikable, even though other characters or other sinners have or are actively doing as bad or worse things than him. (I trust the fandom on here understands that liking a character vs liking their actions are different and that it makes sense for people to genuinely like Valentino 🙏🙏- signed by someone who isn’t necessarily a Val fan just someone who enjoys his interest and what he brings to the table antagonist wise)

Val, Vox, and Vell all choose to do bad things. They are one of the few sinners within hell who HAVE the choice to make others happier/make themself better without Charlie’s involvement, which is why they ARE such good antagonists. It challenges Charlie’s beliefs in whether every sinner can or should be redeemed, and for that reason alone I find them an interesting concept.

Getting back to Alastor specifically, however, he chooses to carry himself as someone who cares most about the entertainment of himself and the general population. He is untouchable, sadistic, unfeeling, uncaring, and most importantly, he is irredeemable. Charlie cannot and should not touch him with a twelve foot stick of empathy if she wishes to keep her dream alive. <- this is how I think he wants himself to be perceived

This was my thought process of him—at least up until the finale—he doesn’t want anyone to know what’s going on underneath that smile; there’s this post that was made on an Alastor ask blog a while ago, I’ll link it here, but I think it speaks to such an important part of Alastor and his character.

"The clothes I wear—to finally loop back to your original question, terribly sorry for the digression!—they serve two purposes. One, they consistently identify me, like a uniform. Two, they keep your damn eyes off everything but my smile."

It’s an amazing monologue and is apart of a very funny fic based off of the ask blog, which I’ll link here, but I think it articulated something about Alastor that, up until the point where I’d read that fic, had felt unexplainable.

Alastor’s smile has never been “forced” upon by anything. And if it is, well I guess I’ll eat my words and complain about how very uncreative it is, but this is his choice and his alone. Just as Alastor is choosing not to redeem himself, he is also choosing to smile, day in and day out, when he’s stressed out of his mind or having a good ol’ meltdown. It’s not that he physically can’t do so, but that a mental key is unable to be pushed into a misshapen lock.

Alastor, is a performer. At heart he’s a radio host. Why would a radio host have to smile? Why, you can hear it in his voice of course! It promotes a feeling. Studies upon studies have been done about how acting like an emotion you WANT to have can bring you closer to that emotion. Like, say, smiling while performing a radio broadcast after staying up all night killing people can help you stay chipper and professional!

And, as Alastor explains, a smile to him is a tool. The first thing you notice about someone at any given moment is their face.

But, I made a specific bit of wording earlier. I said my perspective was that he is someone who wants to be perceived as irredeemable.

But, given how he chose to reveal that aspect of himself with Charlie, I almost feel unsure now.

Obviously Alastor was never an angel. Viv is so obvious about it visually with vaggie and possibly carmilla, that atp I think I could point out anyone who came along and looked vaguely angelic and be right. He wasn’t. Unclipping his wings meant something like, trying to take control back. Everyone perceived this “thing” he’s describing, as a who.

Who has control over Alastor, who has him on a leash, who makes Alastor feel genuine, unable to hide, overwhelming fear. And this could still be a who.

But it could also be a what. Or a place. Or a noun. Unclipping his wings may even mean… going to heaven.

Do I think he wants to do this the fair and just way? No. No he doesn’t. He’s fucking Alastor. Whenever we think about him being empathetic, I will remind us that he is still Alastor who has killed thousands. He should redeem himself, he should want to, he should try, but he’s not doing that. Not yet.

So, to get back to our boy Adam and Alastor’s little monologue to him, it’s clear to me that Alastor believes anyone can take charge. God, angels, demons, Lucifer, they don’t have power. Not really. Because when it comes down to it, your soul and what you do with it is still yours. That’s power. It’s why I used that monologue and explained my perspective on his smile, just as much as he chooses his fate, chooses his words, chooses his smile—having a choice and control over oneself is power.

“What a soul can do when they take charge of their own fate.” Taking charge of one’s fate is what Alastor perceives to be true power. He tries to enact this through his fight with Adam, yet fails spectacularly when he lacks the true nuance to having control over one’s soul—care. Love. Fighting for something or someone else.

Everyone else in this fight wins a major battle in some way—Angel saves one of the egg boys/protects the hotel(I’m including husker in this example), Charlie saves her dad, Vaggie saves Charlie, Sir pentious by all accounts still wins in the end against Adam because he becomes a winner after fighting for Cherri, so on and so forth—the only one fighting for no one or nothing here is Alastor. Funny how, in the one fight in sir pentious’ life where he fights for someone else or something else, he gets his cake and eats it too. He becomes a winner. Adam still dies. He doesn’t win but he does.

Alastor is choosing to not redeem himself, to not care, because he doesn’t have to as an overlord—but if he wants to prove himself, if he wants control, if he wants to take charge of his fate… he has to let himself. He has to choose to care about something outside of himself. Being in denial that your plan may be inherently altruistic and that you only care to the extent that you have to, isn’t fighting for something.

And this is Adam’s problem too! He’s long since stopped fighting for any real purpose than getting hard on beating people who can’t fight back, and this is WHY he loses! He isn’t fighting for anyone! He isn’t even fighting to protect the institution of heaven. This is why someone like Sera is dangerous, she cares about something outside of being an authority over a place. She cares about Emily.

And I have to say, I’m rooting for Alastor. Regardless of how selfish his plan may be, I’m still rooting for him—because for him to do what he wants done, he has to better himself.

I think remembering the context that Hazbin is inherently about choosing to stand back up after being kicked down, is so so important. It’s about choosing to love yourself, choosing to care, choosing to improve. And I love that Viv is making her message about how no one can be better without choosing to do so. You can’t make someone fix themself, you can’t make someone care, you can’t make someone love themself.

And I know this is a thing said often times to put people with mental health issues down, but it does have some merit to it. You can’t get better unless you try. Nothing will make you, that has been and always will be, your choice.

[candy616]

Please make anything sweet for makarov, I really love him

Uh… I'm so sorry it took me so long! But guys… I really can't do sweet things for Makarov 😭 I can do memes or something general but not this. I'm sorry! 😭 Love you all anyways. For the last time, okay? Makarov loves you. 🖤

Vladimir Makarov confesses to you 🖤 (AI ASMR)

Transcript:

You here again? Vat? You like me? But I'm dangerous. You like my darkness, huh? Vell, my darling, zis iz very stupid of you. I can hurt you. Badly. But I von't. You are something else, you know zat? I don't like anyone, I don't trust anyone, only myself. But you… You are somehow… Special. I like you. I might even… But zat's enough. You should go now. Vat? You von't go until I say it? Huh. Very vell… Я тебя люблю.

*I love you.

[confused-rat]

I legitimately think we shouldn’t take Lily’s opinion on lgbt erasure seriously when this is the same woman who enjoys the mcu when the mcu is filled with lgbt erasure. The gotg movies removed three notable queer characters. (Phyla-vell, moondragon, angela) and aged one down to a five year old to avoid addressing the characters lesbian identity, (phyla) Same with wandavision (aswell as the racist whitewashing) and also dr strange, (again, america chavez aged down to 10 to avoid the fact in the comics she’s a lesbian ADULT)

Lily bitches and complains how korra Sami or catradora “erased” older lgbt rep but is silent on all the lgbt erasure in the mcu movies. (But that would require lily to actually read comics )

Agreed.

Lily is so unfairly mean to LGBT+ positive cartoons. It’s weird. She vehemently beats down creators who genuinely try to make nice things that can connect to people of all ages, then turns right around and praises shows like Family Guy. Family Guy.

Lily is just a hypocrite who wants to make up reasons to justify her dislike of popular shows, and refuses to acknowledge how what she says could be applied to the stuff she does actually like.

[bevsdee]

[hoardlikegoldenirises]

Part 2 of 2! A costume refsheet/partial re-design of sorts for @thrakaboom ! Lots of fun to work on, and I like how it turned out personally 😊 Thanks again for the comm 🌠

Here are some close-ups under the cut:

Going for a kind of Greco-Roman face (and hair) here... also went for brown eyes, predictably lol — and white eyelashes cause he dyes his hair blonde.

and of course the alternate colored version it's all lots of glowy blue-whites and deep starry midnights.

Was suggested to do some texture contrast for this, so I went for very high contrast with the latex finish on the black, and a softer more matte fabric texture for the red parts.

The 8 pointed star here came into being somewhat naturally as I was fiddling with shapes and cutouts, and I think it turned out nicely. Adds some fun visual interest without being as flashy as the gold star on the front imo.

glow, naturally. I used a glitter brush for the stars w/ some color overlays and then just added some white starbursts here and there. if I'd had to draw all that by hand I would have died.

The nega-bands here are loosely inspired by Maria Wolf's variant cover for Genis-Vell: Captain Marvel, though I was also, as the note says, thinking about mokume-gane (a woodgrain patterned laminated metal) a little bit, though this is not that so much as presumably etched or engraved.

Instead of trying to just draw what Wolf drew, I was thinking about swirls and the context of like, galaxies and stuff, and other various matrices (like woodgrain lol).

butt

You know I can never resist a good shoe. These are loosely based on things like racing shoes, mostly in the sole, though some of the diagonal shape was inspired by some larger, bulkier actual Boots.

Recurring V-shapes 👌

(here is a link to the other part of the comm btw: link)

[gravitytrips]

Part one: Sand

Scout stretched and yawned, standing outside of the base. He knew for sure that after his morning run, he’d be able to take on the day. After breathing in the fresh morning air for a moment, Scout set off around the base.  As Scout ran, he mentally prepped himself for the match. He wouldn’t mess up this time. He wouldn’t make this match a loss. He would make his team proud. Half way around the base, Scout felt a sharp pain in his leg. For a split second he thought it was just his muscles acting up from the run, then a familiar sensation of fog filling his brain sent him into a panic.  Had he missed an appointment again? Surely not. Not after what Medic had done last time. That left only one other scenario, then.

Scout opened his mouth to scream, but a large hand clamped around his mouth.

Scout kicked and fought, but was quickly growing weaker. Strong arms wrapped around Scout’s body, preventing him from falling or getting away.

With the darkness quickly enveloping Scout’s field of view, all the boy could do was let out a frightened whimper.

The first thing Scout felt was the feeling of the soft sheets Medic always used on his infirmary beds. Then, he became aware of the cloth-lined iron clamped around his ankles and wrists. Once he recognized that feeling, he knew he was in real danger.

His Medic only ever used leather restraints.

Scout still didn’t open his eyes when he heard voices nearby. Perhaps he could fool them into thinking he was still unconscious. The boy focused on his breathing, slowing it down. After a few minutes, the steady breaths and the nearby beeping of a heart monitor lulled Scout back into sleep.

When Scout awoke again, it was to the sound of snapping and worried voices.

“Oi, RED. Can you hear us?” The first voice says. Australian accent.

“He seems to be vhaking up. Hold his head up, I’m going to give him some vhater.”

Who was that? It almost sounded like Medic, but something was off with his voice. His accent was just a little less strong and his tone a little too soft.

Scout could feel his head being propped up. Presumably by the BLU Sniper. It was in that moment that Scout realized just how dry his throat and mouth were.

Scout felt the cool edge of a metal cup touch his lips. As much as he wanted to protest the liquid sloshing around inside, he was too thirsty.

Scout’s lips parted and the water slid into his mouth. In a terrifying moment, Scout forgot how to swallow and choked on the water. The cup was immediately pulled away and Scout was leaned forward. 

After coughing for a few moments, Scout settled and was laid back down. Only then did Scout open his eyes.

“Theeere he is.” The distinctly Australian accent said.

Scout couldn’t help but stare. Before him stood the BLU Medic and Sniper. Their faces were…wrong. They should be looking at him with scorn, but only worry and a bit of pity filled their eyes. This was all so wrong. The BLU team was not supposed to be kind to him. He had been killed by them far too many times.

“Easy, easy. Calm down. Ve aren’t going to hurt you.” The Medic said in an attempt to calm Scout down.

“Well…we were….” The Sniper whispered.

Medic smacked the Sniper on the back of the head when the he said that.

“Yes, ve VERE, but vhen we saw all those scars on you…”

“We figured it would be best to see just how much your team would be willing to give up to get you back.” The Sniper said coolly.

“I’m a…hostage…?” Scout asked in a small voice.

“Vell, yes. Ve vill keep you here until your team either pays to get you back or decides you aren’t worth it.” The Medic answered. He sounded awfully nonchalant about this.

Scout looked down at the metal clamps on his wrists and ankles. He was restless. He wanted to get up and move about. He felt far too vulnerable like this. 

Scout shifted uncomfortably. Just as he was about to open his mouth and ask if he could walk around a bit, the Medic spoke up again.

“Ve vill come up with a vay for you to move about without risking our safety soon. Just lay back down for now. Relax. You’ll be all right.”

The Medic’s voice was soft and reassuring as he spoke. It was a very odd thing to hear.

Scout was silent after that, simply looking around the room. It was much cleaner in here than it was in the RED infirmary. No birds flying around. No blood on the floors and walls. Sterile. 

Scout glanced at the operating table on the other side of the room and couldn’t help but wonder if he would be tortured there. That’s what happened to hostages, right? They were tortured? Scout was definitely not looking forward to finding out. Not after all the things he’d seen his Medic do to people. 

He closed his eyes again, seeking the soft comfort of sleep again. A voice interrupted his sleepy pursuit.

“No, no, no. You have slept far too long as it is. It is too dangerous for you to go back to sleep now.” 

Scout groaned. He was tired.

“What? Why?” Scout felt himself ask before he realized what he was saying.

“The sedative I dosed you vith should have only lasted three hours. You slept for NINE.” The BLU Medic said, his voice slightly irritated. 

Scout decided to stay quiet about the fact that he had woken up before and just gone back to sleep. He didn’t want to anger the enemy Medic any farther.

Scout simply laid in bed for hours afterward, not moving. Not speaking. Occasionally the Medic would bring him water or ask him if he wanted anything. Every time, he only answered with a simple “no”.

RED had definitely noticed Scout’s absence during breakfast and throughout the day. It was clear that Scout wasn’t there, whining and groaning. Always complaining or talking about something. 

Then, it became worrisome when Scout didn’t appear at any point of the day. They checked his room. They checked all the places he liked to hide. They even went into the desert to see if he had gotten lost.

As they were returning, Sniper spotted something in the porch.

There was a note, written on a scrap of paper, lying on the worn boards.

Sniper read the note. Several agonizing seconds went by before the note fell from his hands.

The others scrambled to get a look at what it said.

Upon the scrap of paper were seven words, each clear and beautifully written in the distinct handwriting of the BLU Spy.

 “How much are you willing to give?”

@aerowolf

@callme-adam-iguess

@paranoidginger

[binkywinky]

i still don't understand how carol caused the Kree to collapse like they did. how does destroying their AI cause all of that?

Hmm, I guess it's not explained as clearly in the movies, but I'll try to explain based on what I know of its role in the comics.

The Supreme Intelligence is an AI, yes, but it's more pervasive than something like Jarvis. It was the ruler of the Kree civilization, it was their government, and it was their religion.

It dictated everything from what "role" an individual had in Kree society to literal population control. For example, the Kree have DNA samples from several dead high profile Kree members and use that DNA to create children from them. It's how Mar-Vell has so many damn kids in the comics despite never meeting them - they were born in a lab using Mar-Vell's DNA sample.

Giving people specific roles allows them to control every aspect of Kree life. Everyone from who is a scientist to who is a warrior to who is a sanitation worker is specified by the Supreme Intelligence. And everyone is taught to follow the laws as created by the Supreme Intelligence in order to ensure the best possible outcome for the Kree Empire's survival.

The Kree also worshipped the Supreme Intelligence like a god. It's essentially the religion of the Kree, and they are indoctrinated from birth to believe they are the most superior race in the universe and are destined to rule everywhere and control everyone, by any means necessary. That's what led them to war time and time again, such as with the Skrulls.

So imagine then when Carol comes in and fucking destroys this thing. It's not just a power vacuum that's created - it's chaos. When you live in a society where every single aspect of your life is controlled, what the hell is gonna happen when the very thing controlling you just disappears?

On the surface, it looks like you have freedom, which is what Carol thought. But the Supreme Intelligence cultivated a fascist, imperialistic civilization with such an intense dogma that there's no way it's just gonna disappear because the Supreme Intelligence blew up one day. And while the Supreme Intelligence was insane, it kept order. Without it, you're left with extremists that have advanced armies, like Ronan and Dar-Benn, who will use their skills to carry out that doctrine by any means necessary. And of course they have different approaches and each see themself as The One to bring their people glory, so what happens then? You get all these people trying to fill that vacuum, and there's no longer any order. None of them have the ability to reach and control everyone like the Supreme Intelligence did, and that allows for factions to form and dissent and conflict to fester.

So then who is enforcing the laws? Who is controlling the population? Who is making sure the society maintains an equilibrium that keeps the empire in a position to sustain for years to come? No one. All these conflicting interests lead to a civil war, and that's how you run out of food. That's how you get poor air quality. That's how the sun starts dying (based on the assumption that the sun is artificial because a sun isn't gonna die in 30 years unless it was already dying). They used up all their resources fighting amongst themselves, and by the time they stopped, it was too late to reverse the more extensive damage.

So, yeah... that's how Carol's actions led to the collapse of the Kree Empire. Personally, I'd say indirectly because they did it to themselves, but her taking out the Supreme Intelligence absolutely was the catalyst.

[synnthamonsugar]

HOW DID HE TURN INTO THE ORB I know so little about him other than the fact that he was with Eris in the hellmouth and he was like the hive version of osiris?????

After Eriana-3's partner Wei died in the Great Disaster, she & Eris sought out Toland, (1) (2) who'd been exiled from the Last City for his study of the Hive and interest in the Darkness. (3)

He claims to have directly communicated with the Darkness (1), and seems to have understood the Darkness as a hierarchical system before this was common knowledge (2).

Allegedly warned the Vanguard of the hive threat before the Great Disaster, (1) and seems to have joined the Crota raid with the intent of killing the prince. (2)(3) Though he was also interested in studying the song of the Deathsinger (4), it's unclear whether that was the motivating factor in joining.

While Toland was a subject of suspicion for his arcane knowledge, the fireteam seems to have gotten along for the most part. (1)

What happened in the Hellmouth isn't clear. Vell died early into the raid, the remaining team got split up, Omar and Sai died sometime afterward, leaving Eriana, Toland and Eris the last alive. At some point, Toland reached Ir Yut, heard the Deathsong, and was dis-incorporated from his physical form, becoming a spirit on the ascendant plane. (1)(2)

Eris used Toland's journal for guidance while she was stranded in the Hellmouth, (1) and seems to have warmed up to him with time. (2)(3)(4) For his part, the feeling looks to be mutual, encouraging Eris when Oryx arrived in Sol; (5) Eris writes back, sometimes. (6)

Before the arrival of Oryx in Sol, Eris and Mara seemed to have used Toland's sublimation into the Ascendant Plane as a proof-of-concept for Mara's un-death at Oryx's sword. (1) During Mara's time in the Ascendant Plane, she met Toland. (2)

When the Guardian first encountered Oryx's forces on Phobos, Toland seemingly guided them through the Taken base, and later the Dreadnaught. He provided the Guardian information they needed to face off against Oryx (1)(2), encouraged them to pick up his mantle, and became upset when they refused to. (3)

Later, he provided guidance into the Dreaming City when the Guardian penetrated its ascendant boundaries, and is a common sight in Eleusinia. He's suspicious of Mara and Savathun both, but only has good things to say about Eris and the rest of his old fireteam, and seems to genuinely want to teach the Guardian.

Nowadays he seems to split his time between the Dreaming City and Moon. (I recommend checking out voice line compilations from ascendant challenges, shattered throne, and moon patrols.)

For further reading: The Dark Below, Taken King, Forsaken, and Shadowkeep.

There's also a bunch of meta in my tag if you're curious about the theorycrafting/headcanon side of things.