#eriana-3

[synnthamonsugar]

First Crota Fireteam Beach AU (Pt. I) for @d2artevents Solar Embrace Vol. 5!

Summer fun in the Lunar Sea of Rains with Eris, Toland, Eriana, Omar, Vell, Wei and Sai ... but beware the Hellmouth, a mysterious marine sinkhole in which monsters are rumored to dwell!

[imonthemoonitsmadeofcheese]

The Enucleation of Eris Morn

A Festival of the Lost collaboration with @hiseumingo through @d2artevents

Link to Ao3 if you prefer to read it there

There are queer things told in the deep space cold      By the ones who venture far I seen horrible blights and gruesome sights      Too dark for planet or star But none are as bad, or as horribly sad      To make even a Deathsinger moan As when hope got squished, and ol’ Three-Eyes wished      On her Ahamkara bone

Wei Ning was a Titan, and always fightin'      Everyone loved her laugh If bad stuff needed killing she was always willing      To fight on Earth's behalf She volunteered when the call went out      To clear the Moon of Hive The Great Disaster's what they called that after      Very few got out alive

Now Eriana-3, was an Exo, you see      A Praxic Warlock, too She loved Wei Ning more than anything      So when Crota killed Wei, she knew There'd be nothing here that'd ever come near      To what she'd lost and, well, The only thing left was to get revenge      And march straight into hell

Ol' Three-Eyes was once Two-Eyes      And was a Hunter at that time She and Wei were tight, and when they took Wei's Light      The Hive had crossed a line So when Eriana-3 said come with me      First in line was Eris Morn They made a pact, and just like that      The First Crota Fireteam was born

They needed a way for Crota's death to stay      Or he'd just get back up from his throne Wei Ning bein' snuffed was proof enough      They couldn't use brute force alone His brains might've been scattered but Toland the Shattered      Said he knew a way "I think he's a jerk, but it just might work"      Was all Eriana had to say

So they gathered three more to kick down the door      And finish what Wei Ning began They snuck on the Moon's surface with terrible purpose      Intent to enact their plan They didn't know as they went down below      Giving one last look at the skies That no one among them would ever again      See the stars with their own eyes

Vell Tarlowe was the first to go      Got overrun by Thralls The horrid crunch as his bones got munched      Echoed through those hellish halls Sai Mota laughed as she breathed her last      While Omnigul watched her die The wormrot infested her, then it digested her      And that was the end of Sai

Eriana's doom was a snappy tune      By a Deathsinger named Ir Yut As it turns out that musical shout      Was power absolute A power so strong came out from her song      Eriana's Light couldn't outshine Toland betrayed her, and when Ir Yut had flayed her      He was willingly next in line

Toland's secret goal was to rip out his own soul      And in death become redefined He sold them all out to that Deathsinger's shout      And it blasted his fractured mind It's incredibly tragic that his love of Hive magic      Corrupted his brain with its call But he got what he wanted and now the Moon's Haunted      By Toland the sparkle ball

Now, he wasn't the first, but by far the worst      Was the fate of the Hunter Omar A Hive Wizard caught him, then gleefully taught him      That death ain't the worst thing by far She enjoyed how he squealed, every time that she peeled      Another small piece of his Light Eris Morn cried, at the time, still two-eyed      Unable to save him that night

Six had gone in with a good plan to win      'Till hope from them all was torn Five had found death and the only one left      Was the Hunter Eris Morn She knew she was stuck, but she wouldn't give up      And her ghost encouraged her sweetly Yet, each time she rested the Hive manifested      She couldn't escape them completely

They hid best they could but her ghost understood      That the Hive were attracted to Light And that little ghost loved Eris Morn most      And acted upon that insight So as Eris cried at her ghost's suicide      She was hid by the shadows around her And try as they might there was no more Light      To track, so the Hive never found her

Lost in the dark, without her ghost's spark      Eris Morn was abandoned in hell She wouldn't give in, and let the Hive win      But the way out, she couldn't tell She fought and she hid and somehow, she lived      For a hundred years all alone She had one option left, and it wasn't the best:      An ahamkara bone

She made her bargain in that bleak garden      Of chitin and sickness unkind The bone took its price, and it wasn't nice:      Eris learned the way out, but was blind Now what would she do? And as if on cue      A Hive Acolyte found her location No ammo, one knife, but she still clung to life      And fought with sheer desperation

Without her sight, it was quite the fight      But in the end Eris struck true And as the Hive died Eris realized,      Perhaps three eyes could replace two With a snick and a chop, her eyeballs went plop      With her own knife she dug a new hole With a bit of Hive voodoo and a lot of bad juju      She soon achieved her goal

Running on pure spite in that endless night      Eris Morn was purpose driven With her wits and her grit, she crawled out of that pit      But the Hive would not be forgiven As she saw the stars rise with her Acolyte eyes      Her need for vengeance burned bright And so Eris Morn, became Bane of the Swarm      And to this day continues to fight

There are queer things told in the deep space cold      By the ones who venture far I seen horrible blights and gruesome sights      Too dark for planet or star But none are as bad, or as horribly sad      To make even a Deathsinger moan As when hope got squished, and ol’ Three-Eyes wished      On her Ahamkara bone

[ice-6caydesqueen]

Did it for Star Wars ladies and my swtor ocs now for destiny ladies!!!!!

People might not know who three of them are but I love these women old and new :3

[flowers-of-io]

when do ghosts have nightmares

“I entered the Hellmouth with a sense of fateful inevitability. We would all die, or worse. I knew this to be true. Woefully unprepared was what we were. I stand by that. But it doesn’t mean I didn’t respect them. I did then, and I always will.” – Toland, the Shattered

Even in his formless form, Toland is not spared the torment of phantoms.

Read on Ao3

[bbyfacedx]

first crota fireteam headcanons!

putting this below a cut because it’s ungodly long. i have so many thoughts about them and pre-hellmouth eris i just let the delusions take over.

Eris Morn

Initially very outgoing, optimistic and talkative, typical Hunter sense of humor, curiosity, snd adventurousness, with a touch of that Warlock-y bookishness

Short, about 5’5, and a little chubby, physically in her late 20’s-early 30’s, brown curly hair with bangs, generally very neat and well-kept appearance with a preference for comfy sweaters/long skirts

Competitive and surprisingly intelligent for a Hunter, very nimble and quick in combat, Arc Blade Dancer

Friendly and even a little promiscuous, disastrously non-monogamous bisexual heartbreaker, catches feelings fast and easy

Close relationship with Brya, who acts like a cross between a nagging Russian babushka and the one girl in the friend group who takes closet organization a little too seriously.

Became progressively more mature throughout the Ahamkara Hunt/Great Disaster, during which she was the oblivious third-wheel to Eriana and Wei Ning

Changed drastically after Wei Ning’s death, becoming more reserved but still optimistic and hopeful

Her #1 motivation for the attack on Crota was to help Eriana find peace and heal from Wei Ning’s death; absolutely had strange and undefined feelings for Eriana

Vell Tarlowe

Courageous and noble, a prime example of the “knightly” Titan. Focused on honor and ethics, doing the right thing and never leaving anyone behind

Handsome and boyishly charming, about 6’2 and fit but not incredibly bulky, sun-tanned with beachy blonde hair and blue eyes; think Captain America meets Ken from the Barbie movie.

Multi-subclass with a preference toward Void; more of a lover than a fighter. Will always prioritize getting civilians and teammates out safely over taking out enemies when possible

Probably the second oldest after Toland, has had a long-running patrol in the EDZ villages helping transport civilians through enemy territory

Saved Eris and Brya from being crushed under debris after a Fallen attack, then recruited her for his patrol team; he has a strong fondness for her that remained even after Eris went her own way

Has an extremely sensitive side and cares deeply for other people, especially children; highly empathetic and would give you the shirt off his back if you asked, selfless to a fault

Treats Razor almost like a little brother; he’s Vell’s #1 hype man and encourager of his occasional reckless ideas

Metalwork is his “peace of mind” hobby, enjoys the repetitive process of making chainmail and other small jewelry crafts, especially for his close friends and partners

Immediately hit it off with Omar upon introduction; the extrovert friend who handles social situations Omar is too awkward for

His death in the Hellmouth was 100% pure self-sacrifice; he’d volunteered to guard the rear, didn’t draw any attention to himself or cry for help to prevent the others from getting hurt trying to save him

Died at peace knowing he’d at least helped his team get to their destination safely

Sai Mota

Shy, quiet, and very introverted, unassuming and easily overlooked. She initially gravitated toward Eris’ outgoing nature

Very petite, about 5’3, extremely thin and flexible, of Asian descent, straight dark hair, dark eyes, and freckles!

Knife girl, has at least 6 on her person at all times, stealthy assassin-style fighter, Bade Barrage and throwing knife enthusiast

Carves beads/charms and makes jewelry in her free time, sometimes sells it for a little extra Glimmer

Has a tendency to be easily convinced or persuaded, typically relies on others for guidance and decision-making, very go with the flow and adaptable

Despite being quiet, Sai is unstoppable if you get her fired up about something she’s passionate about. Will lecture you if you talk down on yourself in her presence

Was just as optimistic about the attack on Crota as Eris, if not more, very quick to befriend Vell, Omar, and even Toland

Lost it a little bit after Vell’s death. She knew their mission was doomed and accepted that if he hadn’t survived, she probably wouldn’t make it out either, wanted her death to be meaningful

After they failed to kill the Hand of Crota, she ran in the opposite direction of Eriana to allow her escape, allowed Yuka to keep reviving her so many times as a diversion to keep Omnigul distracted even though it was a waste of her Light

Toland was 100% right about her; she desperately craved her team’s respect, especially from Eris

Omar Agah

Mega-nerd, detail oriented, and painfully socially awkward. Could not navigate his way out of a social situation to save his life.

Tall, around 6’0, very broad and bulky build, not fat persay but definitely a big guy. Dark-skinned Afro-Latino with long locs and brown eyes, says he’s 31 because that’s a Good Number.

OCD as hell and extremely picky/particular/paranoid about everything. Chronic skin-picker, rest in pieces to his upper arms, lips, and fingers, he has tons of scarring and picks so much his ghost can barely keep up with it

Some of his obsessions include: 2 and 4 are unlucky numbers, asymmetry is bad luck, if he doesn’t give his little talismans to people in his life they’ll die horrifically and it’s his fault.

Multi-subclass Hunter. Will obsess over what works best for each specific mission/objective. The most flawless and meticulous builds and weapon-ability combos

His ghost, Karsys, is relatively quiet and uninvolved with Omar, more of a strong and silent protector when necessary

Met Eris when she saved him from certain final death in a lost sector. She stumbled across him by chance, but Omar took it as a sign that she’s Good Luck

Any time he has a risky mission coming up, he’ll pop up at Eris’ door with treats and little gifts and spend the night chatting with her like she’s some Goddess of Fortune

Full faith in the Crota raid because Eris Is There

Absolutely HATES Toland’s vibes. Everything about him screams misfortune and Omar can’t stand it

Gave every one of his team mates their own little talisman before the raid just for that extra good-luck boost; held onto Eris’ though she declined it

Sai and Vell’s deaths pretty much shattered his entire world view. He made sure everything was perfect, that they were wearing his gifts, and they still died.

Felt like he deserved the torture of losing his ghost and having his Light torn away piece by piece because he failed to protect his team. Ouch!

When Eris saw him in his final moments, he urged her to leave him behind and press on, confident that she’d make it to the end even if he’d damned the rest of their team

Obviously it wasn’t his choice to get turned into a bug, but funny enough, Bug Omar is a cricket! And Bug Omar gets encased in amber when Eris puts him in Xenophage. Both crickets and amber are symbols of good luck :)

Toland, the Shattered

Enigmatic cryptic old man scholar, frustratingly cagey, speaks in riddles, major know-it-all and certified well-actually specialist.

Lanky and tallish, around 5’10-11, long black hair and pretty pale from lack of sunlight. Probably a little Native American somewhere in his ancestry, visibly a bit more aged than the others, between late 40’s-early 50’s

NOVA BOMB VOIDLOCK BABY!! Collects Hive weapons for funsies but rarely uses them in close range combat

Poor eyesight and very little spatial awareness, strong disdain for the flesh and neglects basic tasks like eating, sleeping, bathing, etc. when he’s fixated on something. Also super clumsy and constantly bruised from running into shit in his little exiled wizard lair

Toland and Guren are typical freak and freak-enabler. They’re each others’ only company in exile, so Guren feeds into all of Toland’s ideas and theories and gets just as invested as he is

The Hive obsession is strong and he definitely was treading into some dangerous territory, theorized that a Lightbearer could commune with the Hive via hearing the Deathsong and ultimately produce Lucent Hive

Joined the team mostly to get in close proximity with Ir Yut and planned to offer himself and his Light up to her

Unveiled his signature weapon to his raid team as the “Osseous Rifle of Four-Hundred Screams”, but Omar freaked out, said it had “bad juju”, and the nickname stuck.

Clicked surprisingly well with Sai despite not having a ton of faith in her, also close with Eris and Eriana as he’d briefly tutored them in Hive lore when they were preparing for the first attack on Crota. They aren’t sure whether the information he gave them had anything to do with Wei Ning’s death

Guided the team through the Hellmouth, took care of translating any Hive tunes they came across and solving all the puzzles. Genuinely made a valiant effort until they reached Ir Yut

Rocked up to her with all his autistic rizz on some “let’s form an alliance” shit and got balled anyway. Not mad about it though!

Eriana-3

Semi-competent lesbian with a strong will and fighting spirit. If Eris is a Warlock-ish Hunter, Eriana is a Titan-ish Warlock. That big heart gets her into a Lot Of Situations.

Around 5’10, slender but sturdy build and very elegant looking for an Exo. Her plating is white, grey and orange with markings around the crown of her head that resemble a sunburst. Very piercing orange-yellow eyes

Phoenix Protocol Well-lock. Typical strategy is keeping her well up at all times so Wei and Eris could do most of the offense/damage and run back to her for healing

Spent most of her time as a guardian trying to be that ideal super-serious no fun allowed Praxic Warlock— until she met Wei Ning

Fell in love with Wei Ning the first time she heard her laugh, then Wei spent most of their “talking” stage trying to get Eriana to laugh back. Eriana’s laugh is super dorky and obnoxious and Wei loved it

They got married in a simple ceremony at the bar they first met at— Eriana gave Wei a hand cannon as a wedding gift hence the name Eriana’s Vow. Wei gifted her a specially-made version of the Fighting Lion grenade launcher that had enhanced damage perks while standing in a Well

Jax and Wei Ning’s Ghost were in love too :)

Met Eris through association with Ikora— viewed her as a close friend and is very protective of her. There’s something confusing and complex going on with their relationship, but Wei treated Eris like a little sister and Eriana didn’t know how to navigate that.

Easily the least reckless of their group before Wei Ning’s death. That was a major turning point and all her composure went out the door. She became very impulsive and revenge-driven, not caring about the consequences so long as it meant avenging Wei

Relied on Eris for a lot of emotional support after that, which Eris definitely took the wrong way. They kissed and slept together (like actually cuddled and fell asleep) a handful of times before facing Crota, but they both knew it wasn’t anything serious and Eris would never be to her what Wei was

Fond of Vell, Sai and Omar, trusted them to care for Eris in all the ways she couldn’t; still saw them as expendable but had hope they’d be smart enough to retreat if things got dicey

Very contentious relationship with Toland; her Praxic ideology contradicts with his affinity for the Hive and she harbors suspicion that he misled them in the first Crota raid and/or somehow contributed to Wei’s death. She definitely might have hoped that something would happen to Toland during their raid

Her objective for the raid was “avenge Wei Ning or die trying”, very much did not intend to make it out herself. By the time they actually embarked on the raid, she was entirely consumed and blinded by her need for vengeance.

Was essentially “throwing” the entire raid, not playing to her skill set, fighting offensively and Titan-like rather than staying support, never used her Well a single time in the Hellmouth

Not to mention, she was using Wei Ning’s gun the entire time!!! Not, yknow, one of her own long-range weapons that she was used to using to suit her combat style

Died willingly to Ir Yut, assuming that the rest of her team was already dead and she’d taken them all to the grave in pursuit of vengeance— unleashed the full power of her Light as she died as a last-ditch effort to make this all mean something, even if it was only injuring the Deathsinger in the process

[saltineofswing]

After posting this chapter of Destiny AU fic, I was commissioned by Otter to draw the three members of Eris's fireteam! This was a lot of fun, though designing an Exo head for Eriana from scratch was quite a challenge. Each of them also has the knife they fashioned out of their Ghost's shells.

The central conceit of the AU is that certain key events have changed, and characters' roles have been inverted – in this case, Eris was the only member of her fireteam who didn't escape the Pit, leading to this sequence (pt. 1) of events (pt. 2, above) that take place (pt. 3) during Season of Savathun's Crystal Spa Retreat.

[crepusculesque]

Once again thinking about the time Wei Ning got so mad she punched a mountain and only got calmed down by the idea of making a cool gun for her girlfriend

[phthalology]

prompts: destiny + halcyon

“It’s a bird,” Eriana said.

Wei turned in her arms. “What?”

The grass of the Tower promenade was soft under Eriana’s cloak. Most poets said you never knew the good days while they were happening. Eriana had noticed them on purpose since she joined the Praxics. The Last City wore a dress of spring leaves. Even the craters were smoothed over with growth, blue water glinting up at a sky busy with birds.

“Halcyon. Good days. It was also the name of a kingfisher.”

Just birds. Traveler give every warrior a sky empty of ships. 

insp.

[fishuus]

fanart of a scene from death dream by @allteacher, one of my favorite wei/eriana fics

[screaming-for-eternally]

I wanna see The Great Disaster and Twilight Gap

I wanna see Wei Ning and Eriana 3

I wanna Andal Brask

I wanna see Felwimter

Pls Bungo I beg you

[synnthamonsugar]

Happy Crota's End Day!

[xboxseries]

eris has been my favorite character for 10. fucking years and i genuinely know more about her than the people writing her. she really might as well be my oc at this point man

[ice-6caydesqueen]

Tell me if I missed any exos from the lore I probably have

[gothyanki]

can't stop won't stop

The way both the githyanki and githzerai continue to define themselves by their relationship to Gith!! As far as I know, "githzerai" is an endonym - they call themselves "those who spurn Gith", it's not a term applied to them by the githyanki. She looms so large that the people whose entire society sprung out of rejecting her teachings/actions still go by her name! I just

[bbyfacedx]

eris/toland is the wide-eyed insatiably curious young student and lonely mad professor desperate to be listened to dynamic

eris/eriana is the i was the third wheel and now i’m picking up the pieces in hope of not being the only wheel left dynamic

eris/vell is the “you saved my life, how can i repay you?” “just stay with me, that’s enough” dynamic

eris/sai is the baby’s first mutual homoerotic friendship dynamic

eris/omar is the “i miss you -> nvm i took my meds -> they wore off what’s up” dynamic

[saltineofswing]

EVERY WAKING MOMENT

Destiny 2 || 3500 Words || Pt. 1 || Pt. 3

In Another World, In Some Ways Like The One We Know…

“Give me one good reason why I shouldn’t stab you until you’re dead,” Sai Mota said with a measured and even voice that did not betray the extreme rage boiling in her chest. Toland, with the closest approximation of meekness he could muster, accepted that he had erred in leaving Sai out of his rescue plans. He panted on the metal floor of Sanctuary’s medical ward, his nose broken, his lip split, his left eye swollen.

“I’ll stay that way,” Toland croaked.

His blood was slick and black as it drooled down his chin, and dripped from the knuckle-plate of Sai’s gauntlet. Eriana-3 and Vell watched, arms folded, from the doorway and the far corner respectively; they seemed disinterested in intervention. Toland felt rage of his own ooze up from a place in his throat. The judgement of others was like coins prickling his bony armor to him, but the fact that they dared to judge him for his mistakes – his transgressions against Sai – when their betrayal was so much greater overwhelmed even his even temper. No… it wasn’t that, he decided.

He hated them in this moment for the fact that they had even bothered to show their faces at all. No matter that he had called them, that had been as much a formality as anything. Eris Morn’s body slumbered in Sanctuary’s recuperation suite as her closest friends tore each other apart less than a hundred feet away.

Sai strode forward three large steps and buried the toe of her boot into his gut before he could stand back up; Toland grunted as he was thrown back to the ground. He rolled, dragging the jagged bone claws of his glove across the stone until green sparks lit flame across his knuckles. Sai kicked him in the face with the flat of her boot – as he floundered backwards she drew a knife from her belt and nailed his hand to the floor with it. 

Toland screamed as he saw that it was the blade that had been Yuka. 

With his off-hand he drew the blade that had been Guren. At this, Eriana drew the blade that had been Jax, and Vell drew the blade that had been Razor, shifting from looming passivity to be prepared in case one of them gutted the other. Sai dove on top of him and he ran the edge of Guren across her cheek to her ear, leaving a deep groove that immediately spat the same tainted, maroon blood across his face. She hissed and battered her fists against his already-bruised cheekbone, his broken nose, tried to pin his head to the ground so she could continue to bludgeon him with more ease. With one hand indisposed, Toland was forced to make a choice. Even now, even with the threat of death igniting an ancient bloodlust inside of him, even though she had just done something unforgivable to him, Toland chose Sai. He dropped Guren to the ground with an unnaturally clear clatter and slammed the side of his fist against the opened gouge in Sai’s cheek, making her yelp in surprise and pain.

They fought like Thrall over scraps of meat, while Eriana and Vell watched like Acolytes. 

No words passed between them. In this way the Hive had changed them all, the speed and savage escalation of violence, the quiet and dispassion of it. The room held only the sound of Toland and Sai’s ragged breathing, their grunts of pain, the sounds of bone or metal clacking together or thudding against flesh. 

Then the double-doors to the ward slammed open. Ish-Mulmir darted into the room and drew herself to her full height; Toland, alone, knew enough to clap his free hand over his ear and flatten his head against his other bicep when she drew in one sharp, whistling breath.

Eriana, Vell, and Sai Mota still had enough Guardian in them – and Ish-Mulmir enough Hive – to recoil with shock and grab for their guns. But before they could, Ish-Mulmir barked out a single, shrieking note that rang like the peal of a bell through the entire building. Her eyes, dilated to massive pale discs of glowing Ascendant light, flashed with the power of a bolt of lightning, and the same light burst from her mouth and glowed in her neck and chest, illuminating her alien veins and internal structures for a brief moment. Eriana and Vell were thrown back against the wall with breathless grunts and collapsed in heaps. Sai jerked back away from Toland as if she had been bodily struck, and grabbed her head with a cry of pain. Ish-Mulmir stepped forward and swatted her, sending her crashing through a nearby sick bed into the far corner.

“ENOUGH!” Ish-Mulmir boomed with a voice that now rattled all of Sanctuary. Her wings whipped off of her back, suddenly filling the entire room with her stature. Toland stayed low, curled into a ball, with blood trickling from his ear. “COWARDS! ALL OF YOU! Fools! This is your hour of victory! You spend it on selfish bloodletting!” Her triplicate gaze burned into Eriana and Vell. “Or, at least, the more driven among you do!”

“We didn’t come here to get engaged in these two trashing each other,” Vell said with a shakily affected dispassion; he gestured with a dismissive wave at Toland. “These two chuckle-heads haven’t kept us in the loop on any of this.”

“Oh, fuck you!” Sai groaned from the corner, rolling clumsily onto her elbows and knees.

“You came at all, and that is enough,” Ish-Mulmir said; her ire waned and her wings folded themselves back down into her cloak. “You came because you held hope in your heart, and that hope was vindicated. I allow you no room for dishonesty, Vell Tarlowe.”

“We don’t have to take this from you,” Eriana snapped. “You aren’t involved in this any more than we are.”

“You do, and I am,” Ish-Mulmir hissed. “For I am right, and also, it was my spellwright that took Eris Morn from Savathûn’s clutches. So you will listen. You are listening. You have no choice.”

There was Sword Logic in that, Toland thought. But he also knew Eriana; she would burn herself to ashes before she allowed Ish-Mulmir to get the last word. Thankfully, Ish-Mulmir was through speaking to her. She turned to him, now. “Toland,” she said, and her voice was soft and almost pleading. “You must let them in.”

“Sometimes,” Toland managed, though he could barely hear it through the blood pounding in his head, “bloodletting is necessary. To relieve… pressure.” Even in this state, Toland’s voice was unshaken. 

Ish-Mulmir looked down at him with an expression that Toland could not read; the intricacies of her biology sometimes escaped him. It was withering, certainly, though it held also perhaps pity. 

“I am tired of you, Toland,” she finally said, with a laborious tone of surrender. Toland felt the acute agony of this more than anything else that had been wrought upon him. She looked at Sai, then Eriana, then Vell. “I am tired of all of you.” She turned, now diminished, and began to slip back through the doorway, shutting the doors she had thrown open behind her. Even Vell hung his head. Toland wanted so dearly to call to her, to ask forgiveness, to apologize, or to beg her not to give up on him. Instead, he was silent.

“Ish-Mulmir, wait!” Sai said, and some part of Toland was glad for her desire to be loved, or how willing she was to display it. “I –“

Ish-Mulmir silenced her with an imperious glance over her shoulder. Toland allowed his face to sag as the Thief of Moths left them to themselves.

Toland rolled fully onto his side and stared with dull disinterest at his hand and the blade that had been driven through its center. The blade was aligned parallel to his hand, artfully planted between the bones of his fingers without breaking or shearing any of them. All of their blades were different; his was a spade of a dagger, neither too long nor too short, but broad and courtly. Sai, the only Hunter left of them, had fashioned hers into an artful, narrow finger of death. The pain, of course, was excruciating, and radiated through his wrist, his elbow… he could even feel it in his navel. His fingers twitched, unsynchronized, with the beat of his heart. 

Sai pushed herself out of the corner and loped across the room to him. He tensed, not because he was afraid she was going to attack him again, but because he knew what she was about to do. She stooped and yanked the blade ungracefully from his hand; he felt the edge slice through the narrow inch between his second and third knuckles and emitted an involuntary, clipped groan. “Damn you, Toland,” Sai spat, wiping the blade clean on a nearby curtain.

“You attacked him first!” Vell cried; finally, Toland thought with a bitter sneer, their two betters joined them in the muck. Though it was, in truth, more like Ish-Mulmir had broken a spell, and Vell had remembered that he actually cared about the other people in the room.

“You didn’t stop me, so obviously it didn’t bother you too much!”

“Would you have listened to either of us?” Vell shoved her aside hard enough that she stumbled, and stooped to help Toland up. Eriana caught Sai and steadied her, and Toland allowed Vell to take his upper arm and lift him to his feet; he was thankful, in brief seconds, for the gentle hands of a Titan. He was unsteady on his feet after his drubbing, and folded his punctured hand to his chest. He smoothed his uninjured palm across it, and there was a sizzle of hot green magic; though he winced at the sensation of his skin burning itself back together, his wound closed up. The rest, he would let heal on their own. As penance.

“You didn’t even try.” Sai’s anger turned on Eriana and Vell, now, and Toland withdrew to the least-bright corner of the room to watch like an animal and lick his wounds. It wasn’t that Eriana or Vell felt emboldened to defend him, he was sure; rather, there had been a breach of social contract, and that meant someone was the ‘bad guy’ in the situation. Toland was used to it being him. “Honestly, I’m shocked you bothered to be here.”

“That’s not fair,” Vell puffed out his chest and set his fists on his hips. “Of course we came! You – you think we just forgot about all of this? You think we wouldn’t have helped, if we knew you two and the Young Wolf were trying to pull this off?”

“You abandoned us!” Sai bit out. “You gave up on Eris! Even when Omnigul and Crota were killed! Where were you when Toland and I were guiding the Young Wolf through the Dreadnaught? When she killed Oryx? I’m surprised you even bothered to keep your knives with you. Thought you would’ve thrown them away like you did us!”

“FUCK YOU!” Vell bellowed, his moodnoise suddenly roaring in the small room.

“YOU WEREN’T HERE!” Sai screamed back at him. Her voice was ragged and broke when she could not sustain its volume. She was mostly laconic in temperament; Toland wondered if he had heard her speak more in the last ten minutes than in the last ten years. “I never gave up on her! Toland never gave up on her! We and Ish-Mulmir have been grinding ourselves into PASTE trying to wrench her out of Savathûn’s grasp!”

“How is this about us, all of a sudden?!” Vell said, with a genuinely flabbergasted lunacy in his voice; he threw his arms out to either side and almost struck Eriana, who had been standing motionless, her posture attempting to evoke detached grace. Toland knew better. “Now you’re defending Toland? Two seconds ago you were trying to smash his skull in!”

“You stabbed him with Yuka,” Eriana said, accusatory and arch and unaccepting of any fault. Bitter. Spurned. “That’s unforgivable, Sai.”

There was a pause, then, a moment of quiet with a tensile strength insufficient for the weight it bore. Toland quailed at it. “Then he and I, at least, are even,” Sai snapped, with such breathless ferocity that Eriana was stymied for a response. Eriana turned her gaze away. The quiet glint of shame in her throatlights made Toland feel, amidst his agony, the faintest satisfaction. It was enough to unlock his throat and allow him to push words out of his mouth, though it hurt his lip. At last, an unimpeachable opportunity to condescend.

“None of us emerged from the Hellmouth whole,” Toland said, and marveled that he had not struck Eriana down in her moment of weakness. The others, too, seemed struck by this, and turned to look at him where he hid in the corner. He had eased himself down into a chair, and leaned his elbows heavily on his knees. He was so tired. The quiet stretched for a few moments more. Toland was a master in the art of choosing his words; he knew how to pick words to embarrass, to make small, to snidely placate or disparage. None of those ends would serve him here, and so he was required to truly think. With his head split as it was, the order was tall. 

Sometimes, the truth was the most effective weapon. “… We have been too shy of admitting it. We are all dead, and do not know it. We have not been as one since we dragged ourselves from the Hellmouth.” He looked at the puddle of blood and the hole in the floor where Yuka’s metal flesh had bitten him, and squeezed his injured wrist. “For better or worse we are bound, the four of us. Five of us. Tethered, but straining in opposite directions. Pulling ourselves thin and spiteful. Narrowed and strained. Mistaken for power. Briefly we were close, and so the tether was mighty.” He looked up at them. “Now thin like threads of silk. Perhaps broken.”

“… No.” Eriana stepped forward, touching Vell’s shoulder, brushing Sai’s forearm. She looked meaningfully between the two of them and then approached him; he looked up into her face, ever stoic and unmoving, devoid of the blistering fire he knew roared inside of her. Or, had, once. She crouched down until she was at his eye level; he closed his eyes, and so did she, and he felt the coolness of her metal forehead press against his. “Never broken.” He heard Vell’s lumbering footfalls, felt the Titan’s hand on his shoulder, and then Eriana’s on top of his. “You are right. We should never have given up on Eris. I just…” She stood now, unable to be both physically and emotionally vulnerable in the same space. “… I was so tired of losing people.”

“We all were,” Sai said, though her voice still quavered with anger.

“I know,” Eriana said quickly, and turned to her. When she took Sai’s hands, it was with a softness and affection that she could not display to Toland. They’d never been quite that close. “The truth is… the truth is that Toland is not the only one who failed you. I did, too.”

“I mean, I think I did okay,” Vell muttered, though when Toland looked up at him with an arched brow, he squeezed Toland’s shoulder and scratched his scruffy chin in an unconvincingly noncommittal way.

“I am better than that,” Eriana said. Her tone ignited with passion. “I will make it up to you all.” Vell strode to her and patted her firmly on the back with enough force that Toland would have been jerked out of step, but Eriana took the blow in stride. She smiled at him in her mouthlights, still holding one of Sai’s hands, and then looked to Toland. He dipped his chin cautiously at her. She gave him a resolute nod, and her eyes shone with a respect that made him feel a twisting knot of different emotions.

The room was silent once more. Toland wanted to stand and go to the three of them, standing in contemplative, quiet togetherness. Comforting each other with their closeness. Recommitted to one another. Instead, he remained apart, and convinced himself that it was not in his nature to require acknowledgement, or respect, or togetherness.

“I have business,” Eriana finally said. “With the Hidden. I… I cannot stay.” She looked to Toland again. That same, new, smoldering respect was in her face. “Will you tell me when she wakes? Send for me, when she is strong enough for visitors?”

“Yes,” Toland said simply. She turned, murmured something he could not hear to Sai, and gave Vell one more affirming nod. She paused only briefly at Sai’s gaze, which still prickled with betrayal and anger. Eriana sighed. Some things, Toland thought, could not be fixed with a rousing speech. But Eriana had already dedicated herself to the task. And then Eriana left them. Just as before, but now, with the promise of return. 

Vell set his hands on Sai’s shoulders. She hugged him, briefly, and tightly. “I uh… I should get back to Earth,” he managed, though his voice was awkward and uncertain. “The blueberries on the wall have been alone for almost a day, so I’m sure something’s been destroyed.” He glanced between her and Toland, then picked up his helmet from where it lay. “… The second call you make is to me,” he said meaningfully, and Sai nodded without responding. 

And then there was only Sai Mota and Toland, once-shattered. She turned to face him. He did not have the strength to stand, and so she approached him cautiously. Her face was tight and pale with frustration, but he did not see loathing. She dragged a nearby chair over and plopped down in front of him, folding her arms and appraising him, the damage she had done to him. He snorted in through his broken nose; a glob of coagulated blood and mucus slid out of his sinuses and into his throat, which he swallowed thickly. 

“Why?” She finally asked, and the hurt and anger in her voice made Toland close his eyes for a moment, so he could indulge in the pounding ache of his injuries. 

“I didn’t trust you,” he finally admitted, and she let out a wet scoff. “I knew the architecture of the thing we were attempting. I knew that… we would need to back the Witch Queen into a corner she did not realize was there. I knew that we would need our machinations to escape Mara Sov’s imperious eye. Weaving two spells, but really three, but really, one.”

“More plainly,” Sai said, her voice clogged and her cheeks red. “Or I’ll stab you again.”

“It is as I said. I did not trust you,” he said soberly. “I didn’t trust that you would be able to… keep up. Or understand the precariousness of what we were doing.” He dragged his hand down his face, wiping blood from his lips and chin. “I thought that I was all we needed. I am sorry, Sai Mota, for underestimating you. I failed you in this way, and many others.” He lowered his head, and sneered to himself. “And I used my own angst over that to fuel the spell. I told myself it was necessary to complete the Lament. So I kept pushing you away.”

“So,” Sai said slowly, her eyes red and wet, “this was all for you, and your ego. To prove that you could.”

How true, in some ways, that was. But it was more than that. Proving he could was nothing next to having Eris back. He would have burned his soul out of his body, if it meant re-tethering Eris to hers. And more than that – he couldn’t risk that Sai would have done the same. That, in truth, was where he trusted her the least. Her compassion. If anyone should have been wasted away by the weight of their Spell, it should not be Sai Mota. He could not possibly lose Eris and Sai, after everything he had done to keep her alive.

“No. I did it for you, too,” Toland rasped. “Oh, Sai, I did it for her.” Sai’s face finally crumpled, her eyes streaming, and a sob escaped her. She threw her arms around his shoulders and cried for a time.

Toland, exhausted, bloodied, denied the relief and exultation and, yes, love he found that had wanted so badly, closed his eyes tightly and quietly allowed himself the same. He wondered, selfishly, if Ish-Mulmir would ever speak to him again – he felt bound to her, too. He hoped she would. 

But only if he changed. He thought of Eris, and decided that it was a sacrifice he was already willing to make.