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FOUREVER YOU PROJECT ❖ Coming Soon
#fourever you project#fourever you project the series#bas hassanat#earth katsamonnat#oat tharathon#bever patsapon#pond ponlawit#ngern anupart#tonliew methaphat#maxky ratchata#foureveryouedit#thai bl#thai drama#upcoming bl#bl drama#bl series#my edits.#now this is the director new i'm here for#this is the ensemble bl i've been waiting for#i just really really hope they won't shorten oat and bever's stories :(#i know earth and bas are the stars here and i love them of course#but i also love oat so so so much#i've been waiting so patiently to see him in a main role#also the post production here is incredible#the editing is so on point and the colour grading so pretty#if they really only had days to do this then#poor editor and colourist (i hope they were paid above rate 🤡) but also wonderful job!!
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Tiny-waist-and-cheeky-smirk man
#aka everything i like in a man u_u#augustine sycamore#professor sycamore#pokemon#little daily doodles to keep my brain from frying from thinking about upcoming new job halp#lexiart
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i was having a chuckle to myself last night about Gristol, and how his plans are basically:
Restore Ford Cruller's memory
Find Maligula
???
Profit
but then... of course they are, right? this is Gristol we're talking about. Fatherland Follies drives home again and again that he's still operating on a child's logic, a warped and reductive version of the world that he never bothered to grow out of. both of his memory vaults center on the images of his childhood, this idealized version of the past that he clings to no matter what. and that's still how he remembers Maligula, too - as this saviour figure, who rushes in to help him when he's in trouble.
[ID: Two slides from Gristol's memory vault, Glory to Grulovia! Left: Gristol clings to Maligula's back as she summons waves to sweep away his assailants. Right: Gristol and Maligula waving from a balcony as the people cheer. Gzar Theodore brandishes a dagger in the background.]
like so much else, Maligula represents a return to this idyllic childhood - to the peace and simplicity of his youth, when he was free from worries and responsibilities. in his mind, he doesn't need to make any further plans - once Maligula's back, everything will go back to normal. Maligula will make everything better.
...is what i thought, but then i remembered this line:
[Screenshot source. ID: Gristol, in Truman's body, bows on his hands and knees in front of the newly-awaked Maligula. The caption reads: "Yes, High Priestess! I am here to correct the mistakes made by my father!"]
and that's kind of interesting, right?
to be clear: this happens directly after Maligula sees Helmut-in-Gristol's-body, and recognises him. her line before this is:
"Little Gzesaravich! Have you come to pay for your father's sins?"
my first thought was that Gristol hadn't expected to still be in Truman's body by the time he managed to find Maligula, and this was him trying to placate her and buy some time until he could explain the situation. but watching the cutscene back, that's clearly not what's happening here. Gristol is answering as himself, and his response of throwing himself to his knees before her is, as far as i can tell, genuine.
so what is going on here?
in Fatherland Follies, there's this line in the ride narration that stuck out to me:
"Why didn't the Gzar help Maligula in her time of need? No one knows, but historians agree - it is Gzar Theodore's biggest failure."
other lines mention Gzar Theodore's "mistake", and it's wording Gristol himself echoes in the screencap above. evidently, he believes that his father abandoned Maligula, leaving her to her fate at the hands of the Psychonauts, and it was that mistake that lead to them being driven out of the country - that mistake which he seeks to correct. maybe he even feels like he has a debt to repay to her for his family turning their backs on her all those years ago.
the 'High Priestess' thing, though - that's kinda weird, and threw me for a loop the first time i played the game. it took me until my second playthrough to connect the dots, and remember how the room in the Lady Luctopus - Gristol's room - was full of Delugionist scribblings and symbols.
[Screenshot source. ID: left, the walls of the hidden backroom in Gristol's hotel suite, covered in scrawlings of eyeballs and Maligula's name. Right, the pinboard from the hidden backroom. On its surface are photographs and newspaper clippings connected by pieces of string.]
i mean, look at this stuff! he had a whole conspiracy board and everything!
we learn very little about the Delugionists and their beliefs as a whole during the game, but i think drawing the connection here suggests two important things. one: that Gristol was in deep with this stuff. i don't know how he linked up with them - maybe via old family connections, or just good old-fashioned digging (we know he's skilled at worming his way into peoples' good graces, after all) - but it seems likely that he's begun to internalise their ideas, maybe even warping his own memories of events. and two: the Delugionists themselves are, if you'll pardon the pun, pretty far off the deep end.
like... i understand why PN2 didn't go heavy on the "mass-murderer cult worship" aspect of things, in the end, but man this is such a tantalising glimpse into the wider mythos around Maligula. Gristol is proud and haughty and thinks himself above everyone else; the fact that his first reaction seeing Maligula is to throw himself to the ground at her feet says so much about the way he's come to see her. he's not just trying to bring back Maligula, his childhood bodyguard. he's trying to bring back Maligula, the High Priestess of the deluge, the semi-mythical figure whose supporters believe even death couldn't stop. he doesn't even flinch at the way she confronts him, and maybe it's because he's bought in so completely to this deified figurehead, this idea of Maligula; more a living force of nature than a person. and it all comes back to the same place: an abdication of responsibility, not just to the person who protected him when he was little but to this avatar of floods and destruction. Maligula will make everything better.
i'd write more about my thoughts on the Delugionists but that'd be taking a hard turn into speculation, and this is already kind of long and rambling so i'd better end it here. but what an unexpected and evocative line, right? it's some of the only stuff we have to go off of regarding the Delugionists as a whole, but i think it does such a good job of hinting at the wider story - at teasing another layer to the mythos surrounding Maligula, one whose ripples we see throughout the game but which never quite breaches the surface.
#psychonauts#psychonauts 2#bored waiting at the airport so you get more psychonauts meta from me#the delugionists have been on my mind recently (because i Might Just have an upcoming au lorepost about them and also cults are fun)#so tossing my thoughts up here because people seemed to like the last few times i did this#and also it's my blog and i like to talk :)#related vent i HATE drafting posts in the tumblr editor because if you hit crtl+z to try and undo a formatting change#it deletes like half the post you just typed out#(yes i did it again while i was writing this. yes i'm still salty. why do i even bother)#what else... this is just becoming a disconnected thoughts dump#but if you've seen my posts you knew what you were signing up for when you hit the button to expand the post tags#there's new art coming hopefully this weekend if i can get it finished! it's more mermaid au designs#i'm two and a half weeks late for mermay but it turns out starting a new job and moving house doesn't leave you with a ton of free time#but that's okay it's never too late for mermaids#omg and artfight's coming up next month too! geez#i gotta make refsheets for the fsau trio because i would LOVE to get art of them#and this year i don't have a thesis to crunch on so i might actually have time to participate#oh and then in august i'm having top surgery! will make a proper announcement post for it at some point#i say 'announcement'. it's just a life update but it's nice to share#i'm super excited about it :)#i might end up blogging the process and recovery but obviously it won't be going here lol. i'd put it on my main#idk if anyone would find it useful but when i first started looking into surgery i had like very little idea about the whole process#and it's only through joining a bunch of online support/discussion groups that i managed to find more info and resources#so hey it might be useful to share? we'll see#our flight doesn't land for another fifty minutes so now i'm just writing in the tags because i'm bored#alright i'll proofread this and then post it when i land and have signal again. peace out yall hope your pride month is going well
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good morning to them specifically 🖤
#mine#ts4#sims 4#the sims 4#simblr#sims#ofmd#gentlebeard#ofmd sims#urghghg only wednesday?!?!#found out yesterday that my hours at work are being severely cut in the new year and im like 😥#so i guess ill be job hunting eventually#and i BET this is because of the upcoming presidential change + they wanna save money because tariffs or w/e 🤬#they gave me some bullshit reason but idk it doesnt make sense
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me, a few days ago: well nagosaka doesn’t have original stories so idk ig they can surprise us without having vaguely manga only story refs :/
me @ me now: WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT THE FIRST RUN HAD COMPLETELY ORIGINAL STORIES WE GOT AN ORIGIN POINT FOR NAGOSAKA AND WEVE EVEN SEEN THOSE STORIES COME BACK AROUND AND GET RESOLVED WE WATCHED ROSASA GET UP ON STAGE AND PERFORM COMEDY TOGETHER IN THE BLOCK PARTY JYUSHI GOT TO STAND UP TO HIS TRAUMA AND HITOYA WAS ABLE TO MOVE FORWARD FROM HIS IN HARMONIOUS COOPERATION BUT YOU KNOW WHOSE ORIGIN STORIES HAVENT CIRCLED BACK AROUND YET REI AND KUUKOU—
#vee queued to fill the void#me shaking me: KUUKOU EVEN MADE THAT REFERENCE TO HIS ORIGIN CHAPTER IN THE BLOCK PARTY#AND REIS ORIGIN CHAPTER HAS HIM LITERALLY RELATING TO A MAN WHO GOT SCAMMED AND IS AT RISK OF LOSING HIS FAMILY#LIKE YES IT SUCKS CHEEKS NAGOSAKA➕ HAD NOTHING TOO NEW BUT HOW COULD YOU NOT THINK ABOUT THE OG RUN ARE YOU STUPID???????????#and yeah maybe i am lmao like honestly you can’t just discount the og run like that vee what’s wrong with you LOL#rei and kuukou parallel each other in narrative ways i don’t think i’ve spoken about#but one of the ways they do is that they primarily work in the shadows#and there’s probably a conversation to be had with kuukou and rei’s bp outfits stripping their colours#and then highlighting the way they get the job done secretly in that track#and that’s just one of many so it’s lit to see they may also be on track for focus in the upcoming dhbat tracks lol#remember in arb when rei came to visit kuukou (in a dream lol) for a favour and kuukou choose beef instead lmao#detested by his sons AND his future son in law lol i hope we get them interacting again they were really cute in that event 😭😭😭
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#trying really hard to keep my cool about my upcoming new job and balancing my current job#because my restaurant job is training me on something new but that coincides with my first week at the new job#and I /also/ have social plans that overlap in a stressful way that I wasn’t expecting them to#I’m either gonna have to skip my social plans and back out of something at my current job#Or literally be like ‘I am not usually this chaotic and all over the place at work sorryyyyy’ to my new job#Just feels like a weird first impression to set y’know to dip out early the second day and take the fifth day off#I know it’s not forever but MAN is it gonna stress me out for the next couple of weeks#Im fine it’s fine everything’s fine#< time to bring back my fave catchphrase ✌️✌️✌️
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hi loves i have neglected mx info since i've been on vacation i will hopefully be back on a normal schedule soon <3
#mädch rambles#god i haven't posted on there in forever im SORRY when my schedule gets busy it just is hard to keep up!#ALSO i recently got off orientation at my new(ish) nurse job#i started working in the operating room earlier in january and its been a long orientation since its something totally new but#i love it and i'm workin by myself so it's been a learning curve but having a good time!!#for vaca i visted my aunt and uncle's small lake cabin w my bf and the rest of my family i really just unplugged it was so peaceful!#and just this past weeked my bf's parents visited so i was hosting them too so just a lot going on but !!!!#hopefully will be able to post on mxinfo soon and make some gifs on here in the upcoming week/weekend! been wanting to gif aespa's new stuf#also maybe gif some other mx stuff just to get back in the swing of things lol every time i want to come back on here thers always so much#to catch up on but ANYWAYS!!!!!!!!!! see you guys soon xx
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practicing gratitude about this past year tonight and it IS actually helping?? a lot????????? unbelievable
#things im really grateful for: moved out and away! to the other side of the country! for a new job (first job!!!!!) which was terrifying but#it's been FIVE months and ive genuinely never felt prouder of myself for making it through!!!!!#and even though there HAS been some really really Bad Brain Days this job has allowed me to meet so many interesting people#and it also has allowed me to have a better view of my future; to understand what i really want to do; and given me the boost i needed to#work extra hard to get into my masters program (asylum and immigration law!!!)#ive also became less of a people pleaser and learned to stood up for myself more; get more accomodations and opportunities without stopping#myself to get them bc i didnt deserve them or whatever#i did SO many scary things that felt like pulling my own teeth out but 95% of these things worked out okay in the end#i even got a new job opportunity!!!! i was OFFERED a job????!?!?!?!???! can you believe it????!?!?#GOT MY AUTISM DIAGNOSIS#came out to my therapist! said a lot of scary things to scary people but i did it SCARED. AND IT WORKED OUT#ive accomplished so many things this year and grown up and healed a lot. sure there were bad days but - overall?#im so grateful im alive. im so grateful i got to meet so many wonderful & lovely people#(if youve read all of this please know that i love YOU and also i hope hope HOPE you had a wonderful year; or if you didnt then that the#upcoming year will be nothing but kind and supportive to you! 🌱🎀💫)
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We have OFFICIALLY advanced!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
#teach says#im talking about dancing#we are now in a more advanced class and will hopefully be able to compete against someone in the upcoming season#im EXCITED#new class new job new me who dis?????????????
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beyond frustrated that i can’t edit any pictures right now
#i need a new computer desperately; they’re just so expensive#(especially if you want them to run editing software)#i don’t feel comfy spending so much money when we have this new pet and an upcoming move. plus i don’t have a job lined up yet#but i can hardly get lightroom to function#i took so many pics when i was in the mountains and they’re just rotting away in my camera; i hadn’t felt so creative/inspired in so long#i took some incredible pics and i need them on my website especially!!!! since i’m on the job hunt#why am i spiraling over this jesus fucking christ#i guess i’m just feeling useless and out of control in my life atm#too much change and i feel like i’m drowning
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can the work anxiety please just STOP
#cant remember when i last knew peace#its like one thing after another at work#im always so paranoid about getting lectured or yelled at or even fired#even my weekends off i am always anxious for monday#i need this job but holy shit i just wanna stop being so paranoid about every new email or upcoming meeting
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liyah's queue is slowly dwindling i fear
#e.txt#& i recently got a new job so haven't had the free time to play#meanwhile solani's queue goes all the way to august lmfao. so if you're a liyah stan..prepare to maybe not see her for a while#tho i do have time during the weekend so hopefully i can play with baby liyah. i have to download specific poses for an upcoming scene too
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I actually work a lot for someone who's basically unemployed
#one 13% monthly parttime job. the. two wild west things where im basically on call.#also jumping on a new project that im kinda anxious about#and was asked if we could do a meeting before noon this upcoming week. and like the only time i have free is one AFTERnoon#on paper : 5 hr week. in reality: 35 or something#Schrodinger's unemployment
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i had a dream that me and park moo jin (from designated survivor) were in some rich people's house waiting to shoot something for a presidential campaign and i went to the bathroom and got lost and started eavesdropping on some ladies in the hallway and they were talking in japanese about moo jin??? and i was like hey! he is my friend (stop talking behind his back) 😐 and they were like oh cool!! can you get us his number then agjsfjdjd
#it's my first time ever dreaming in japanese so that's cool#but it also shows that i only have upcoming elections on my mind lmao#i still don't have a new job 🙃 so working on the campaign is keeping me somewhat sane. at least i'm busy#i'm trying not to think about the worst case scenario <3 i WILL get a job this month and everything WILL BE FINE#and in the meantime i can learn a thing or two about local politics 🥰#k.txt
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aaaarrghghgh 😭
#overthinking hurts my head how am i supposed to sleep tonight#why am i so stupid so stupid so stupid#when BC said PANIC PANIC PANIC i felt that lol#yes this is about the job situation again (see my post from yesterday)#i'm fairly hopeful that'll resolve itself when i call them and ask for another opportunity tomorrow morning#(my mom helped me come up with a convincing enough story about why i cancelled the interview lol)#but i'm so scared of my employement agency contact person hearing about this#in the best case scenario i could handle it by telling her i had to cancel due to personal reasons...#...but was lucky enough to get a new interview#and i feel i should contact her first before she notices they have opened that position for applications again#(she knows i applied for it so IF she notices this she might wonder WHY they have re-opened it#because if there's been qualified applicants (=me) they wouldn't have to do that)#in any case i'm so so scared she'll call the place and ask them if i really did apply and if i really do have an upcoming interview#if i do get another opportunity it's not gonna be a problem i hope (unless they tell her why i said i cancelled it#because in that case i'd probably have to actually tell the employment agency person the REAL reason why i cancelled)#in addition i'm scared of what it might look like to the people i'm hoping will hire me if someone from the employment agency calls them#to make sure their customer hasn't lied about applying and agreeing on an interview?!#that's gonna make me look sooooooo good lmao#to conclude. i'm screwed and a fucking idiot byeeee#(this is complicated i know sorry lol)
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the only piece of social media mental health advice that I've internalized is the one that's like "reframe your anxiety as excitement" I will be sitting here shaking with fear like "I'm so... excited 🙂" and somehow it kinda works...
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