#up high school result 2020

[transmechanicus]

this is. probably a very personal question.

Is it worth it? Transitioning? In spite of it all?

Completely, utterly, and absolutely. I’m one of those ppl who knew i was trans since i was like 8. I found out when i was probably 13/14 what transgender meant, but recoiled from it because i could not imagine a world that would accept me or where i would be happy with the result. At 15 i met my first other trans person, and they became my friend and partner and the first person to ever know i was trans. Being around them, known by them, was such a colossal psychological relief and source of joy unlike anything i had known before. It made separating from them after graduation all the more excruciating to lose that one person i had trusted with that truth.

Sometime over the next two years i came out to my Mom, but nothing really changed, and i had more or less resolved to rot and die under the identity i had been born into. I let my undergrad studies chew me up, neglected all but the most necessary body maintenance, and spent every moment outside work or class buried in video games or books. At some point something snapped out of place, or perhaps back into place. I knew i didn’t want to die like this. I wanted something more for my life and my flesh than being a half dead servitor stocking yogurt. I wanted to transition, and however slowly, however long it took, that’s what i resolved to do.

It took a while. I had no real finances, no privacy, and little independence. I was coming from a white low-self-expression, high-control household. I “messed up” while base coating warhammer models one time and gave myself black nails. My dad berated me about it for days before trying to pin my hands down and sand the paint off (didn’t work, thank you automotive primer). When i was ~22 i got my ears pierced, basically the first permanent part of my transition, and i had never known as much joy as i did driving home knowing the pain was a step of permanent progress. Around this time 2019/2020 i started being out online, more vocal about being transgender as opposed to just having a relatively inexpressive fandom blog with no info beyond my name.

When i was 24, two years ago i came out to my dad, and a week later i left for grad school halfway across the country. I had an apartment all to myself, and my own source of income. I spent my spare change building up a wardrobe of new clothes that i actually liked. I got my first year of grad school done mostly without anything remarkable. Went to some queer events at my school. Found a partner. Got loved to bits for a while. Re-came out to my parents over the summer, and this time it stuck. Started HRT that fall, 2023. Came out to my classmates and coworkers and was rewarded with support and acceptance. Lost the partner. Devastated. Resolve to get even hotter and cooler. Smash out 3 piercings and a tattoo inside a week. Develop personal fashion sense. Attend research conference. Get better at makeup. Go to some concerts. Increase HRT. Tiddy Arc. Buy bra with a supportive bestie. Start weekly therapy. Increase HRT. Cosplay at a major convention. Schedule another tattoo. More HRT. Bra no longer optional. Present day. Tattoo on Wednesday. 90% of progress packed into the last year or so. Undeniably hotter, happier, and more self-expressive than anything in the last 24 years prior.

Transitioning is more than worth it, it brings me so much relief and joy every day no matter how shitty my day is otherwise, and while i have known doubt, i have never for an instant known regret.

There is still time🖤🏳️‍⚧️💕

[loverboyfae]

i notice frequently this rhetoric of white people mocking other white people for their political involvement/racial politics/sjw behavior (outdated term i know but i have been seeing this attitude for a long time) that amounts to creating basically an anti-strawman? in essence it’s like. there are these white people getting up in arms about racial issues that no person of color actually cares about. no real person of color cares about racist jokes, that’s just sensitive white people. no real people of color (pre-2020) are advocating THAT strongly against the police, that’s just sensitive white people. as a result, i don’t have to do anything about these issues because they’re all being entirely made up by white savior types who all of us hate. (side note: I also used to see this rhetoric with a LOT of other issues like how sjw girls are campaigning against homophobia towards gay men that gay men don’t care about, or for trans people that trans people don’t care about, or for disabled people etc., but i feel like it only really still survives in racial politics)

i think about this often, but i’m especially thinking about an experience i had recently that made it so actually visible to me how much of a lie it is. my campus had an encampment and there was a lot of social media presence saying how everyone there was just rich and privileged white people who could afford to play pretend at protesting and have never had to be scared of the cops in their lives. and i saw how, while there was still a majority of white people because that’s the make up of my school, there was a HIGH percentage of students of color, of Black students, of Muslim students; way higher than i have seen in just a headcount of my classes. and they were bringing with them writings from authors of color and learnings from histories of other protests which they had also been arrested at. i knew people there personally who i know are not just well off kids who can afford whatever happens to them. people WERE making sacrifices doing stuff that can enact change that helps palestinians. there were palestinians there!!!

idk. it’s just very common and very suspect rhetoric and it boggles me that people still use it. tldr: if someone is taking you that an issue affecting marginalized people is only being advocated about by those who are not, question why they only hear it from the people not being harmed before you dismiss the issue. people may not feel safe around them, or they may be willfully manipulating the facts

[art]

Creator Spotlight: @chaaistheanswer

Hi everyone! I am Clara, but you can also call me chaa! I am a digital artist based in Auckland, New Zealand, with a bachelor’s degree in Creative Media Production. After graduating from uni, I moved out to pursue my art career and I’ve been a freelance digital artist ever since. I love concept art, especially character design! Creating characters influenced by my love for fantasy is what I live for. Thank you for stopping by, and I hope you enjoyed my art! And thank you, Tumblr, for this opportunity!

Check out our interview with Clara below!

Did you originally have a background in art? If not, how did you start?

I specialized in art in high school and have a bachelor’s degree in Creative Media Production from Massey University with an animation pathway. For our thesis film, which I worked on with several of my classmates, I took on the role of producer, art director, and concept artist. Our short film was featured in the Wellington Film Festival Terror-Fi in 2020. After graduating, I went on to become a freelance artist, but my goal is to work for the gaming industry as a character concept artist. Ever since I first picked up a pencil, I knew I wanted to become an artist!

Have you ever had an art block? If so, how did you overcome it?

Art block is quite common among artists, and unfortunately, I too have fallen prey to the affliction. I have several ways of overcoming art block: watching movies, playing games, reading, or going out for a drive with my sister. These are just a few things I love to do to help keep my creative juices flowing!

What is one habit you find yourself doing a lot as an artist?

I tend to obsessively research about completely unrelated topics while I draw. I find learning new things helps improve my concept designs, especially in creating backgrounds for my characters.

Over the years as an artist, what were your biggest inspirations behind your creativity?

Video games and anime were my biggest inspirations! Anything with a captivating story that’ll send me to the edge of my seat, and loveable characters. I’m particularly drawn to high and dark fantasy.

How has technology changed the way you approach your work?

Technology has made a huge impact on us artists over the last few years. I used to draw a lot on paper, but since getting a tablet, I find myself searching for the undo and redo buttons and even trying to zoom constantly while I draw on paper. I used to only draw for myself as well, but after posting my art online, I now have an audience to whom I can share my art. Because of this, I am able to earn a living doing what I love by creating illustrations for clients.

What is a recent creative project that you are proud of?

I am very proud of this recent commission I’ve done for a client! Fortunately, the piece turned out exactly how I wanted it to look, and my client was very happy with the result. I am also in the process of working on a Webtoon, which is going as smoothly as I hoped it would be before its re-release!

What advice would you give to younger you about making art that's personal or truthful to your own experiences?

The best advice I would give my younger self is to never hold back! Try not to think about the negatives of creating and sharing art that you believe in. Embrace vulnerability, and don’t be afraid to dig deep into your own emotions and experiences. Always explore, and don’t limit yourself to your own bubble. And most important of all, stay true to yourself! Stay true to your values and beliefs, and never compromise your own authenticity for the sake of pleasing others. Your art is a reflection of you as a person.

Who on Tumblr inspires you and why?

@yuumei-art has been an inspiration to me since my early Deviantart days. I admire how she uses her skills to focus on environmentalism and cyber activism. @nipuni is another inspiration of mine. I found her when I was in the process of recovering from Dragon Age Solavellan hell. I admire how she manages to capture faces well while also sticking to her style. Her paintings are so beautiful and very pleasing to my eyes!

Thanks for stopping by, Clara! If you haven't seen her Meet the Artist piece, be sure to check it out here. For more of Clara's work, follow her Tumblr, @chaaistheanswer!

[simply-ivanka]

How the Biden-Harris Economy Left Most Americans Behind

A government spending boom fueled inflation that has crushed real average incomes.

By The Editorial Board -- Wall Street Journal

Kamala Harris plans to roll out her economic priorities in a speech on Friday, though leaks to the press say not to expect much different than the last four years. That’s bad news because the Biden-Harris economic record has left most Americans worse off than they were four years ago. The evidence is indisputable.

President Biden claims that he inherited the worst economy since the Great Depression, but this isn’t close to true. The economy in January 2021 was fast recovering from the pandemic as vaccines rolled out and state lockdowns eased. GDP grew 34.8% in the third quarter of 2020, 4.2% in the fourth, and 5.2% in the first quarter of 2021. By the end of that first quarter, real GDP had returned to its pre-pandemic high. All Mr. Biden had to do was let the recovery unfold.

Instead, Democrats in March 2021 used Covid relief as a pretext to pass $1.9 trillion in new spending. This was more than double Barack Obama’s 2009 spending bonanza. State and local governments were the biggest beneficiaries, receiving $350 billion in direct aid, $122 billion for K-12 schools and $30 billion for mass transit. Insolvent union pension funds received a $86 billion rescue.

The rest was mostly transfer payments to individuals, including a five-month extension of enhanced unemployment benefits, a $3,600 fully refundable child tax credit, $1,400 stimulus payments per person, sweetened Affordable Care Act subsidies, an increased earned income tax credit including for folks who didn’t work, housing subsidies and so much more.

The handouts discouraged the unemployed from returning to work and fueled consumer spending, which was already primed to surge owing to pent-up savings from the Covid lockdowns and spending under Donald Trump. By mid-2021, Americans had $2.3 trillion in “excess savings” relative to pre-pandemic levels—equivalent to roughly 12.5% of disposable income.

So much money chasing too few goods fueled inflation, which was supercharged by the Federal Reserve’s accommodative policy. Historically low mortgage rates drove up housing prices. The White House blamed “corporate greed” for inflation that peaked at 9.1% in June 2022, even as the spending party in Washington continued.

In November 2021, Congress passed a $1 trillion bill full of green pork and more money for states. Then came the $280 billion Chips Act and Mr. Biden’s Green New Deal—aka the Inflation Reduction Act—which Goldman Sachs estimates will cost $1.2 trillion over a decade. Such heaps of government spending have distorted private investment.

While investment in new factories has grown, spending on research and development and new equipment has slowed. Overall private fixed investment has grown at roughly half the rate under Mr. Biden as it did under Mr. Trump. Manufacturing output remains lower than before the pandemic.

Magnifying market misallocations, the Administration conditioned subsidies on businesses advancing its priorities such as paying union-level wages and providing child care to workers. It also boosted food stamps, expanded eligibility for ObamaCare subsidies and waved away hundreds of billions of dollars in student debt. The result: $5.8 trillion in deficits during Mr. Biden’s first three years—about twice as much as during Donald Trump’s—and the highest inflation in four decades.

Prices have increased by nearly 20% since January 2021, compared to 7.8% during the Trump Presidency. Inflation-adjusted average weekly earnings are down 3.9% since Mr. Biden entered office, compared to an increase of 2.6% during Mr. Trump’s first three years. (Real wages increased much more in 2020, but partly owing to statistical artifacts.)

Higher interest rates are finally bringing inflation under control, which is allowing real wages to rise again. But the Federal Reserve had to raise rates higher than it otherwise would have to offset the monetary and fiscal gusher. The higher rates have pushed up mortgage costs for new home buyers.

Three years of inflation and higher interest rates are stretching American pocketbooks, especially for lower income workers. Seriously delinquent auto loans and credit cards are higher than any time since the immediate aftermath of the 2008-09 recession.

Ms. Harris boasts that the economy has added nearly 16 million jobs during the Biden Presidency—compared to about 6.4 million during Mr. Trump’s first three years. But most of these “new” jobs are backfilling losses from the pandemic lockdowns. The U.S. has fewer jobs than it was on track to add before the pandemic.

What’s more, all the Biden-Harris spending has yielded little economic bang for the taxpayer buck. Washington has borrowed more than $400,000 for every additional job added under Mr. Biden compared to Mr. Trump’s first three years. Most new jobs are concentrated in government, healthcare and social assistance—60% of new jobs in the last year.

Administrative agencies are also creating uncertainty by blitzing businesses with costly regulations—for instance, expanding overtime pay, restricting independent contractors, setting stricter emissions limits on power plants and factories, micro-managing broadband buildout and requiring CO2 emissions calculations in environmental reviews.

The economy is still expanding, but business investment has slowed. And although the affluent are doing relatively well because of buoyant asset prices, surveys show that most Americans feel financially insecure. Thus another political paradox of the Biden-Harris years: Socioeconomic disparities have increased.

Ms. Harris is promising the same economic policies with a shinier countenance. Don’t expect better results.

[captaincorgi128]

On Christmas Day of 2018, I received a paperback copy of George Orwell's 1984. I was 12 years old.

I remember the adults - aunts and uncles, parents, grandparents, looking at me cautiously, as if they had handed me a live bomb rather than a book. "That's a very intense book, okay?" my father told me. "If you want, we can talk about it after you read it." 12-year-old me, with only a dim idea of what fascism actually was and an insatiable appetite for books, only nodded.

While my younger cousins and sister played with their new toys, I sat on the couch and read the book in one sitting. When I finished, I looked up to see the adults staring at me with a strange sort of fascination. "Do you want to talk about it?" my father asked.

"No." I shrugged and turned away.

The truth was, I had been expecting a happy ending. Winston Smith was the good guy, wasn't he? Why didn't he win? Evil governments always lost in the end, didn't they? How could Winston have been brainwashed into believing such an evil, awful dictatorship was truly great? After all, when my middle school history teachers talked about dictatorships, those of Hitler and Stalin, it was obvious that they were the worst of the worst. No one actually agreed with them, did they?

Then I remembered my fourth grade class talking about the upcoming election, laughing about how obviously stupid Trump's wall idea was, and how strange it felt to hear someone say Clinton was worse. I don't remember his reasoning, but I distinctly remember thinking it was dumb because what could be dumber than a giant wall around Mexico? I remembered my grandmother arguing against vaccinating children, and I remembered flat Earthers I had seen online. That day was the first time it clicked for me: people believe what they want to believe.

The years passed. I read 1984 again, and again, and again. I watched as Trump shut down the government for sake of a temper tantrum, as he was impeached, as he told Americans to inject bleach, as he politicized a pandemic and let thousands die. I didn't know about his SA scandals. I didn't know he had called Mexicans "thieves and rapists." I just knew he could not be allowed to be president again.

Yet, when 2020 rolled around, I was only 14 years old and could not vote. I settled for watching anxiously as the votes came in - I didn't know much about Joe Biden, but he was clearly a better alternative. He actually believed the COVID-19 pandemic was real, for one. So I sighed in relief as the results came through four days later: Joe Biden had been elected president of the United States.

I kept watching. I watched as Trump incited insurrection, as terrorists stormed the Capitol. I stared in horror at the TV. How could this have happened? How were so many people so delusional?

In December 2021, for my sophomore year English class, I read 1984 again. I thought of January 6th.

My classmates thought it boring, confusing, stupid. It didn't make sense. What did it matter? Who cared whether or not we knew the significance of the character of O'Brien?

I kept watching. The summer before my junior year of high school, just before I entered a relationship with my now-partner, Roe v. Wade was overturned, and I felt a sinking pit in my stomach. Six months later, a friend of mine read 1984 for that same English class, and he loved it - we had a few intense study hall discussions about the nature of doublespeak, of totalitarianism, of a surveillance state. My partner agreed, reading it with a terrified fascination.

I kept watching. I realized I was nonbinary, and I watched in horror as the Republican Party made their creeping advances to eradicate trans rights. Idly, I reread 1984. What the right wanted did seem a lot like Oceania's government, didn't it? I wondered if I'd ever be able to marry my partner, who, despite also being trans, was still the same sex as me. If Trump ran again, he'd probably win, and then what would we do?

Then, 2024. Trump won the primaries in a landslide. I turned 18 and registered to vote. In the meantime, I skimmed Project 2025's bits about banning pornography and thought of 1984 and its carefully curated sexless society, created to achieve perfect complacency. I went off to college and voted absentee, carefully bubbling in the circle next to Vice President Kamala Harris's name. I woke up on Wednesday, November 6th to see Trump had won the presidency.

It has been one week. Again, I watch as Trump proposes a Department of Government Efficiency, which sounds euphemistically horrific. I watch as he suggests Musk to head it, a man known for being as inefficient as possible. I think of the Ministry of Truth and how its entire purpose was to disseminate lies. I watch as people celebrate, mocking me and many others who had desperately voted against a fascist, a rapist, a convicted criminal, a man who would kill us and spit on our graves if he was elected to office. I think of Parsons and duckspeak, the practice of simply spitting out the "correct" propaganda the same way a duck quacked. People really did believe what they wanted to believe, didn't they? I realize Trump won because, deep down, people hated minorities more than they loved democracy.

I hope my loved ones and I will survive another Trump presidency. I hope those in Gaza and Ukraine will survive it too, along with so many others - Jews, POC, immigrants, students, disabled, Muslims. At the very least, I hope to live long enough to watch as the bigots are forced to eat their own words and come to terms with the fact they gleefully voted in their own downfall.

At the end of the day, 1984 taught me something I could not have comprehended at age 12, 14, 15, or 16, but can understand now: democracy dies not with a bang, but with a whimper.

[jazmine-here]

Jazmine.

My name is Jazmine, a reemerging writer who tinkers with art. I was dubbed "Jazzy-B-Real" in my youth and "Otherwise_Uncolonized" in my young adulthood.

Jazzy-B-Real:

Otherwise_Uncolonized:

My experimental youtube page was "Constellations of Neverland" at one point. I've been offline since 2020. In 2024, I saw people online celebrating my middle school and high school art while wishing me well due to my disappearance. I'm happy to say that I am well after a rough post-Covid era and a lot of growing up. During Covid's reign, I had purged the internet of what I viewed to be carbon footprints, yet people have kept the light alive in some dust clouds.

I am eternally grateful to you all for retaining such light. As the blooming adult I am now, I've learned to view everything with balance—including the broken person I was—and there are lovely works that I dearly miss as a result. Those works are the "darlings" from my young life.

All in all, I'm in the heat of writing original work. You may see previews here. Thank you so much to those who have saved some of my fandom pieces:

[walkawaytall]

I really wish there was more interest in how to handle ADHD other than just addressing the symptoms that affect the people around us.

Like, the best pharmaceutical treatment we have right now is stimulants, and I agree that being on stimulants 24 hours a day, 365 days a year is probably not good for your body. Hell, I’m on a less-than-ideal dose of my medication from a concentration perspective because the ideal dose had my resting heart rate sitting at a cool 115BPM. I know taking med holidays is important. I know all of this.

But because ADHD isn’t just an attention problem (or may not actually be an attention problem at all at its core), it sucks that the only time period medical professionals seem to be concerned about treating are the “important” times: the length of a school or workday. Forget the fact that ADHD affects executive function, forget the fact that people with ADHD often experience chronic and unending anxiety and/or depression as a result of the ADHD, forget that there are important times that have nothing to do with an 8-hour school or work day, forget the rejection sensitivity dysphoria, the sensory issues that make things like clothing, food, and group situations a nightmare to try to navigate, the household stuff that has to be taken care of outside of the 8-hour school or work day. It feels like none of that matters because it doesn’t affect a group of fifteen or more people.

On top of ADHD, I have been plagued with anxiety-related issues for the majority of my life. I likely have a form of OCD and I have a history with a restrictive eating disorder; both of those conditions are very closely associated with high levels of anxiety. I’ve been on anxiety medications before. I was first given an as-needed medication that took the edge off but also made everything feel a little fuzzy, like there was a pane of glass between me and the rest of the world; I was put on an SSRI that somehow made my OCD-related intrusive thoughts about 50x worse than usual and had me wondering at one point if I should be hospitalized; and I’m currently on buspirone, which is doing what it’s supposed to do without the side effects of the others thankfully. But nothing, and I mean nothing, has reduced my anxiety as much as my ADHD medication.

Two hours after my first stimulant dosage, I just suddenly didn’t feel on-edge any more. I estimate that being on ADHD medication has reduced my anxiety by about 70% (buspirone’s for the other 30%). I started taking it in the summer of 2020 and I remember, in 2021, when I saw my boss in person for the first time since lockdown, he remarked on how much more confident I seemed, how I was more likely to speak up in meetings, etc. And I was like…yeah, man, it’s a wonder what not feeling anxious every second of every day will do for someone.

ADHD affects so much more of my life than just attention and anxiety, too. I have sensory issues with mine, which is pretty common, and they make eating — an already sometimes-complicated task due to the ED history — difficult at times because, while I can eat foods that I don’t particularly like, if something is what I call “the bad texture”, I will gag no matter how hard I work to overcome it (believe me, I’ve tried). And my brain sometimes decides that foods that were previously fine are now “the bad texture” and they may or may not shift back to being okay eventually; I don’t know.

The sensory issues affect me socially. My therapist and I have recently come to the conclusion that I’m probably not actually an introvert, but if I’m around larger groups, that means noise and movement and probably being touched, and too much of that causes my brain to either freak out or shut down. I used to always say, “I love people, but when I’m done, I’m done.” And that was likely because the overstimulation was building and building in the background, and at a certain point, my brain would just be like, “We gotta get outta here.” I was Queen of Irish Goodbyes for a very long time because of this.

And the executive dysfunction affects…well..everything? Not just work, not just school (but also those because if my environment is chaotic, my brain feels chaotic, and it is difficult to maintain a non-chaotic environment if you keep getting stuck on order of operations when picking up a room).

I’m not saying that I want to be on longer-lasting stimulants or that I want to be on the higher dose that I know helps my concentration more, cardiovascular system by damned. What I’m saying is, I wish treatment research had been more holistic rather than just figuring out what would give teachers and managers an easier time despite what the person with ADHD might be dealing with as soon as their meds wear off.

Maybe current research is working on it; I don’t know. I just know that, the older I get, the more frustrated I am with my brain and the more apparent the deficiencies I used to be able to counteract with pre-chronic-illness energy and crushing perfectionism become, and I wish there was an answer to this that actually helped me most of the time rather than forcing me to pick which parts of my day/week is “important” and making sure I’m medicated for those parts.

[morganski-19]

I had a commenter disagree with me that Tommy is close to Abby in age, claiming that he was just now 40. I'm assuming they got this from the actor's age, but I think he is older than that, so I did some research because now I am curious.

I want to preface that I am not attacking anyone here, the ages confuse me too. And I'm not saying that Buck can't be with Tommy because of the age gap when that's literally not true. He's in his thirties and dating people a good bit older than him has not been a problem before.

I did some research, and here's what I found. Sources included, when necessary, to back me up.

Here's the Tommy timeline that is confirmed by the show.

2005 - Chimney Begins, he is no longer a probationary firefighter, so let's assume he's been there for one year now.

2004 - Tommy joins the 118, but wait, he needs training.

According to the LAFD website (and things could have changed since the early 2000s, I will be adding estimations into my final calculations), cadets need a year of training.

So, 2003 - Tommy joins the fire academy

Which was 21 years ago, and if Tommy is just now 40, that would make him 19 in 2003.

But he was an army pilot before this, so that makes no sense.

From googling and reading some articles and going on the actual army's website, these are the results that I have found that make the most sense. This is where I included most of the sources because it confused me the most.

He would have needed to go through basic training and a basic exam to get into flight school, but I have omitted those weeks as it would only be a few months of time, assuming he got into flight school immediately after passing. You also need a high school diploma or a GED to join the army, so I am going into this with the assumption that Tommy graduated high school at 18, and then went right into the army.

Flight school = 12-18 Months

Contracts before 2020 were for 6 years

So, Putting all of that information together, here is the final timeline, including some estimations since we don't know when his birthday is, or how long he was in each training, or literally anything else to point to how old this man is.

1995 - Tommy joins flight school (18/19)

1996-2002 - Tommy is in the army as a pilot (19/20-25/26)

2003 - Tommy joins the Fire academy (26/27)

2004 - Tommy joins the 118 (27/28)

2005 - Canon timeline starts in Chimney begins (28/29)

2024 - Season 8 (47/48)

So it is safe to assume that Tommy is in his late 40s.

And given that Abby was 42 in season one, which was 7 years ago, she would be 49 now. Therefore, they are under 5 years apart.

[lgckiyong]

⸻ 𝙞𝙣𝙩𝙧𝙤𝙙𝙪𝙘𝙞𝙣𝙜 ,

-ˋˏ ★ Say hello to 수기용, born MAR052001, a not so aspiring model who was scouted to the company in JAN2024. He's a fresh face and hasn't yet allowed the reality set in that this might very well be his new one, uncharted land as it is.

profile , aesthetics , full nav

( Press the ♥ and I will wiggle into your DMs or add me on dc @ serachasauce. )

BACKGROUND ,

Soo Kiyong was born March 5th, 2001 and raised in Seogwipo, a city on the island of Jeju, to two loving parents.

While his childhood wasn't super eventful, it should be noted that he was pretty doted on as the youngest of his siblings. ( And yes, he hates doing chores and will whine!! )

He took up an interest in swimming competitively in middle school and continued on throughout high school and even university. He also dabbled in taekwondo and enjoyed playing soccer for fun with friends.

By the time Kiyong was 18, he decided he would apply for a college in Seoul and help his grandparents with their cafe. He only needed to fulfill the promise that he graduate with good grades and pass the entrance exam.

Miraculously, he gets accepted into SNU and decides to major in marine biology and oceanography.

After a couple years attending uni, he decides to get his enlistment out of the way. Unfortunately, he injures his shoulder during training and as a result, his swimming career would have to be shelved.

( Note: during late January 2024, he even ended up having a surgery for the rotator cuff tear he experienced. This has potential for past headcanons! )

When he returns in the summer of 2023, he gets his dream job at an aquarium as an aquarist. But the dream is short-lived. A year later, he is fired after he was discovered to be conspiring with his coworkers to place the beluga whale into a better habitat.

With only his job at his grandparents cafe to sustain him, he's had to resign himself to the fact that maybe he should finally seriously consider this modeling thing. Ever since being scouted on the street earlier this year, he's been apprehensive. Especially knowing that his parents will be ... rather confused by his sudden path change.

PERSONALITY ,

Pisces sun, Gemini moon, Capricorn rising / ENFJ

Very happy-go-lucky! Energetic and silly! Another tall golden retriever boy to add to the pile! Friendly boy swag

Sensitive, but in tune enough with his emotions. He is a little bit of a crier, but he keeps it together well enough.

He's actually quite clumsy and prone to accidentally breaking things… but at least he's innovative trying to fix them with a shoelace and some gum!

This one's for you! (misses shot)

Knows how to sew and thinks crafts are pretty fun.

Actually has quite a good head on his shoulders. He doesn't get angry easily and he is great at mediating and trying to solve problems in a calm way.

I would be remiss if I didn't mention that he has an obsession with all things marine life. Especially sharks

Total romantic with so much love to give to everyone who can hold it. He loves those he cares for so much ( maybe too much ).

Friends, family, partners. Everyone!

That being said, he is an affectionate guy. He enjoys giving and receiving hugs. It's how he recharges.

He's working on his Jeju accent but since he's lived there practically his whole life, sometimes he has a hard time.

His grandmother used to be a model for decades when she was young. Basically, the only hope for him that he will make it out of this.

An advocate against the mistreatment of animals, particularly marine life.

PLOT STUFF , I'm open to brainstorming but here's a link to his plot page. I'll list some general stuff I want for him!

customers that frequent his grandparent’s cafe or the lotte mall aquarium before he was fired

anyone who lived in Jeju anywhere from 2001 to 2019

those currently attending SNU from 2020 to current year

friends - he has many of them! even if not close

people with unique interests to drag him around and try new things

any introverts for him to adopt

he’s a great listener and good shoulder to cry on

would highly prefer any plots that we could go pretty deep into, especially with crafting headcanons and other unique interactions in their past.

any senior models or any others who have been in the industry for a while. advice would be much appreciated, as the industry is poised to chew this guy up and spit him out if he’s not careful

negative relationships of any kind are are open too

[covid-safer-hotties]

Also preserved on our archive

NIH-funded study focused on original virus strain, unvaccinated participants during pandemic.

Infection from COVID-19 appeared to significantly increase the risk of heart attack, stroke, and death for up to three years among unvaccinated people early in the pandemic when the original SARS-CoV-2 virus strain emerged, according to a National Institutes of Health (NIH)-supported study. The findings, among people with or without heart disease, confirm previous research showing an associated higher risk of cardiovascular events after a COVID-19 infection but are the first to suggest the heightened risk might last up to three years following initial infection, at least among people infected in the first wave of the pandemic.

Compared to people with no COVID-19 history, the study found those who developed COVID-19 early in the pandemic had double the risk for cardiovascular events, while those with severe cases had nearly four times the risk. The findings were published in the journal Arteriosclerosis, Thrombosis, and Vascular Biology.

“This study sheds new light on the potential long-term cardiovascular effects of COVID-19, a still-looming public health threat,” said David Goff, M.D., Ph.D., director for the Division of Cardiovascular Sciences at NIH’s National Heart, Lung, and Blood Institute (NHLBI), which largely funded the study. “These results, especially if confirmed by longer term follow-up, support efforts to identify effective heart disease prevention strategies for patients who’ve had severe COVID-19. But more studies are needed to demonstrate effectiveness.”

The study is also the first to show that increased risk of heart attack and stroke in patients with severe COVID-19 may have a genetic component involving blood type. Researchers found that hospitalization for COVID-19 more than doubled the risk of heart attack or stroke among patients with A, B, or AB blood types, but not in patients with O types, which seemed to be associated with a lower risk of severe COVID-19.

Scientists studied data from 10,000 people enrolled in the UK Biobank, a large biomedical database of European patients. Patients were ages 40 to 69 at the time of enrollment and included 8,000 who had tested positive for the COVID-19 virus and 2,000 who were hospitalized with severe COVID-19 between Feb. 1, 2020, and Dec. 31, 2020. None of the patients had been vaccinated, as vaccines were not available during that period.

The researchers compared the two COVID-19 subgroups to a group of nearly 218,000 people who did not have the condition. They then tracked the patients from the time of their COVID-19 diagnosis until the development of either heart attack, stroke, or death, up to nearly three years.

Accounting for patients who had pre-existing heart disease – about 11% in both groups – the researchers found that the risk of heart attack, stroke, and death was twice as high among all the COVID-19 patients and four times as high among those who had severe cases that required hospitalization, compared to those who had never been infected. The data further show that, within each of the three follow-up years, the risk of having a major cardiovascular event was still significantly elevated compared to the controls – in some cases, the researchers said, almost as high or even higher than having a known cardiovascular risk factor, such as Type 2 diabetes.

“Given that more than 1 billion people worldwide have already experienced COVID-19 infection, the implications for global heart health are significant,” said study leader Hooman Allayee, Ph.D., a professor of population and public health sciences at the University of Southern California Keck School of Medicine in Los Angeles. “The question now is whether or not severe COVID-19 should be considered another risk factor for cardiovascular disease, much like type 2 diabetes or peripheral artery disease, where treatment focused on cardiovascular disease prevention may be valuable.”

Allayee notes that the findings apply mainly to people who were infected early in the pandemic. It is unclear whether the risk of cardiovascular disease is persistent or may be persistent for people who have had severe COVID-19 more recently (from 2021 to the present).

Scientists state that the study was limited due to inclusion of patients from only the UK Biobank, a group that is mostly white. Whether the results will differ in a population with more racial and ethnic diversity is unclear and awaits further study. As the study participants were unvaccinated, future studies will be needed to determine whether vaccines influence cardiovascular risk. Studies on the connection between blood type and COVID-19 infection are also needed as the mechanism for the gene-virus interaction remains unclear.

This study was supported by NIH grants R01HL148110, R01HL168493, U54HL170326, R01DK132735, P01HL147823, R01HL147883, and P30ES007048.

About the National Heart, Lung, and Blood Institute (NHLBI): NHLBI is the global leader in conducting and supporting research in heart, lung, and blood diseases and sleep disorders that advances scientific knowledge, improves public health, and saves lives. For more information, visit www.nhlbi.nih.gov.

About the National Institutes of Health (NIH): NIH, the nation's medical research agency, includes 27 Institutes and Centers and is a component of the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services. NIH is the primary federal agency conducting and supporting basic, clinical, and translational medical research, and is investigating the causes, treatments, and cures for both common and rare diseases. For more information about NIH and its programs, visit www.nih.gov.

NIH…Turning Discovery Into Health®

Study Allayee, H, et al. COVID-19 Is a Coronary Artery Disease Risk Equivalent and Exhibits a Genetic Interaction With ABO Blood Type(link is external). [2024] Arteriosclerosis, Thrombosis, and Vascular Biology. DOI: 10.1161/ATVBAHA.124.321001

[very-grownup]

So a couple years ago, I fell into watching Chinese dramas and because my posts about the most recent one garnered some curiosity, here are the dramas what I have watched.

Hikaru no Go

DID YOU KNOW. DID YOU KNOW. THAT IN 2020 THERE WAS A CHINESE DRAMA ADAPTATION OF HIKARU NO GO AND IT IS AMAZING AND MADE ME CRY ALL OVER AGAIN? It is faithful in spirit while making understandable alterations both for the setting and to avoid managing child actors for the entirety of the series (there are about six episodes with Hikaru/Shi Guang as an elementary school student before a time jump to high school).

If you are unfamiliar with Hikaru no Go I recommend becoming familiar with Hikaru no Go, my first and still one of the best sports manga. It's what Takeshi Obata was the artist on before Death Note and my hot take is that Obata post-Hikaru no Go is mid at best.

Hikaru no Go is a sports series about the most normal boy finding an antique go board that houses the soul of an ancient go master who died too young and with go regrets, so he bullies/guilts the boy into helping him play go so he can see or play a divine go move. In the process he acquires a rival/stalker in the form of the genius son of a go master. It's amazing and the drama absolutely does it justice.

The heart of the series is the relationship between Hikaru/Shi Huang and Fujiwara no Sai/Chu Ying.

It's just a fucking good series.

The Untamed

According to one description on imdb, this is about two friends solving a series of murders. This is technically true, although it neglects to mention a few details.

Sixteen years after doing a whole lot of demonic blood magic shit and dying because of it, hated by society, Wei Wuxian (Xiao Zhan) is brought back from the dead by more super demonic blood magic and is recognized by his noble and esteemed peer/friend Lan Wangji (Wang Yibo) and trying to deal with why Wei Wuxian has been brought back from the dead leads to their investigating a series of murders that result in their becoming entangled in wider political schemes stretching back twenty years.

It's got weird pacing, prolonged flashbacks to explain a lot of the relationship dynamics, and basically an entirely self-contained sub-story that brings the main plot to a grinding halt. There are creatures and CGI effects of interesting quality. There are amazing wigs. There are piles of corpses. There's physical torture and emotional torture and some doomed love stuff and sword fights and musical instrument fights and a donkey and chicken theft and brotherhood and what you're willing to sacrifice for your goals and what goals you're willing to sacrifice for and it is based on a novel that ends in the protagonists raw dogging on the side of the road.

That part's not in the show.

Douluo Continent

Ignorant country boy Tang San (Xiao Zhan) finds himself involved in the world of martial arts and magic after discovering a hidden talent and ends up in the group of fellow martial artists who are all weird or unorthodox or hiding crucial bits of their backstory like girl who is actually a rabbit and immediately decides Tang San is her best friend/husband (Wu Xianyi), guy who needs to become powerful enough to kill his older brother (Gao Taiyu), girl who rejected an engagement to the would-be brother killer and wants to fight him (Liu Mei Tong), guy who wants to ditch martial arts to become a great actor (Liu Run Nan), and girl who is too rich to be here (Ding Xiaoying). They learn together, they grow together, they fight monsters and embark on a tournament arc, and there's an overarching mystery about Tang San and his weak but simultaneously super powerful spirit summoning.

Even though the best technique is clearly the one where the boy in question can summon a sausage that you eat and heals you.

It's very much of a specific genre that can be pretty samey, but Douluo Continent has a charming cast that makes up for its predictable plot beats.

It does end on a cliffhanger that is possibly resolved in the sequel series where ... all the main characters were recast with, I'm guessing, slightly less pricey actors. Such is the way of things.

Word of Honour

Do you like knowing what's going on? Then get the fuck out of here, Word of Honour is not for you. Real ones want to be immediately submerged into chaos and confusion and secret identities. You want Mr Bones' Wild Ride in plot form. Why has former superassassin Zhou Zishu (Zhang Zhe Han) abandoned the sect of assassins he created to live in wandering drunk anonymity as he slowly dies? Why is Wen Kexing (Gong Jun) stalking him aside from poorly censored horny desires? Is Wen Kexing actually a ghost? Can any of the impressionable youths attaching themselves to Zhou Zishu and Wen Kexing be stopped from their very poor choices in role models? What is up with this legendary hidden armoury and why do Zhou Zishu and Wen Kexing seem unable to escape the conspiracy around it? HOW HARD IS IT TO GET WOLONG'S FAMOUS NUTS?

Not recommended for people who constantly want to know what's happening or why X is doing Y, but great if you want to watch with someone and then after an episode, walk your dogs and try to figure out what's going on and what's going to happen (you will be wrong).

Advance Bravely

What if the most ridiculously unrealistic and unhinged slashfic by a teenage girl who doesn't fully understand anything was adapted into a drama series where censorship means everything must be painted with a special "no homo" brush? You get Advance Bravely which is the most incoherently homoerotic thing I've ever watched. No one thinks you should watch Advance Bravely and you watch Advance Bravely and you agree but sometimes you just have to watch a beautiful trainwreck where the protagonist explains his lack of a girlfriend with erectile dysfunction and the series climax involves his being, essentially, trapped in a well.

Love Between Fairy and Devil

DO YOU WANT TO GO FULL SHOUJO MANGA FANTASY?

Innocent fairy Orchid (Yu Shuxin) just wants to strengthen her immortal spirit and pass the exam that would let her serve in the palace of the fairy capital so she can catch glimpses of the War God Chang Heng (Zhang Ling He) who she is hopelessly in love with. Instead, an attempt to help her crush causes her to bumble her way into the high security spiritual prison that has held Dongfang Qingcang, the Moon Supreme (Dylan Wang), for 30,000 years.

DO YOU LIKE BIG NUMBERS BECAUSE YOU WILL GET TO SEE SOME BIG NUMBERS IN TERMS OF TIME SPAN AND AGES.

Because of some plot magic, Orchid and the Moon Supreme swap bodies and loophole out of prison, much to her distress. Their fates are tied together and Orchid becomes more familiar with the wider world and the politics between the realms and how much the fairy realm's supreme ruler fucking suuuuuuuuuuuucks while Moon Supreme finds himself having feelings again after they were tortured out of him in a mystical coffin prison as a child.

Moon Supreme's closest friend is a dragon. Orchid's closest friend is an opportunistic snakeoil saleswoman. There's a pissy younger brother and a bitchy but honourable love rival. There are secret origins and reincarnation and hidden identities and the way it alternates broad comedy and melodrama and sweet romance may give you whiplash.

I just love a bodyswap, you guys.

Sailor Moon vibes but Mamoru is actually interesting and becomes likeable.

Guardian

Okay so the best thing about Guardian is not only that it's a censored adaptation of a novel with a same-sex romance, but that /the entire premise/ is altered for television purposes.

The novel is steeped in Chinese folk religion and the Underworld is real and mythical creatures secretly walk among us.

In the show?

ALIENS, BABY.

Ghosts? THOSE AREN'T REAL BECAUSE HUMANS DON'T HAVE SOULS, THEY'RE JUST ENERGY BEINGS.

It's so ridiculous it's endearing.

Anyway, it's about bros solving mysteries with a Monster of the Week vibe until it becomes about possibly the end of the world and alien domination and evil twins.

Mysterious Lotus Casebook

IT'S TIME TO SOLVE CRIMES. IN ANCIENT CHINA.

Quack doctor Li Lianhua (Cheng Yi) is just trying to live a quiet life with his dog and his horse-drawn house. Fang Duobing (Joseph Zeng) just wants to gain admittance into the martial art cop organization that's carrying on the legacy of his dead teacher, Li Xiangyi, who was maybe never actually his teacher and also wasn't killed ten years previously by Di Fei Sheng (Xiao Shunyao), the head of an evil martial arts sect who is also not dead. Not nearly as many people as people think are dead! Identities are cleverly hidden behind pseudonyms and various levels of mask!

Crimes are solved and Li Lianhua is very tired about the whole thing. It's an unwilling buddy cop sort of thing until it becomes about youthful hubris and the sins of the past and also one woman's determination to conquer the world and give it to the man she loves, even if he doesn't want the world and also doesn't love her. We love a woman who takes what she wants and if necessary cuts a man's tendons and imprisons him in a torture pool so his blood can't clot until he agrees to be her wife, don't we, folks?

Folks?

Story of Kunning Palace

The scheming empress Jiang Xue Ning (Bai Lu) dies and wakes up, eighteen-years-old, at the point in her life where she's on the verge of making the start of the decisions that lead her to the Very Bad End. She is going to make different decisions this time and prevent the things she regrets and avoid becoming the empress at all costs.

What you need to know about Story of Kunning Palace is that Bai Lu could have chemistry with a rock and she inadvertently collects a bisexual harem. Her end game love interest is Xie Wei (Zhang Ling He), the man who killed her, an advisor to the emperor, music teacher, double or triple agent, and sufferer of vampire snow madness and a fear of cats, whether adorably fluffy or badly CGI'd. But she's in love with noble civil servant Zhang Zhe (Wang Xing Yue), a pure and hardworking man who she seduced into betraying his principles, leading to his imprisonment and probable death. However, her childhood friend Yan Lin (Zhou Jun Wei) is in love with her and previously she rejected him VERY HARSHLY after his family fell into disfavour due to political machinations and Jiang Xue Ning had cemented the likelihood of her marriage to the next emperor. Also there's Princess Le Yang (Liu Xie Ning), who Jiang Xue Ning made an enemy of after the Princess fell in love with her when Jiang Xue Ning was crossdressing and did not take the reveal of her true gender well. Xue Shu (Elisa Ye) is an unfavoured daughter of a scheming lord who was the only truly loyal person Jiang Xue Ning knew as empress. ALL OF THESE PEOPLE FALL IN LOVE WITH JIANG XUE NING and you look at Bai Lu and go 'yes, that makes sense'.

It's mostly about the politics and scheming and Jiang Xue Ning trying to find a way to have a stable, satisfying life without betraying everyone she knows and standing on a pile of corpses, but the love shape Jiang Xue Ning isn't fully aware she's in is comparable in complexity to the plots between ministers and lords and dowager empresses and cousins and rebels.

The choices the characters make are maybe not always the best choices, but DAMN are they a good time.

Story of Kunning Palace is also one of the only times I have begged a character in a show to take a particular action and then she DID IT and fuck it was satisfying.

The Sleuth of the Ming Dynasty

IT'S TIME TO SOLVE CRIMES. IN ANCIENT CHINA. AGAIN. BUT WITHOUT MARTIAL ARTS.

Tang Fan (Darren Chen) is a low-ranking government official and detective genius who loves food and hates routine work, but loves a fucked up crime. Since he spends most of his money on delicious food, he writes trashy porn under a variety of pseudonyms to pay his rent. Sui Zhou (Fu Meng Bo) is an imperial guard and ex-soldier with PTSD who has no time for nonsense but loves the passionate pursuit of justice and food. He's also From Money and has a very empty house that Tang Fan whines his way into after they solve a case together. Everyone is manipulated by dangerously powerful eunuch Wang Zhi (Liu Yao Yuan) who is the enemy of basically everyone, except for Tang Fan, who has the political and social awareness of a rock.

An amiably pathetic man solves a variety of mysteries, from murder to complex imperial assassination plots and also this really complicated one involving diluting the purity of silver currency, and also the executive producer is Jackie Chan.

It's missing the romance subplot that I understand is in the source novel and also apparently there's an overarching plot involving a cult?! which we don't get here, but there's lots of bombs which are almost as good as a cult, maybe? (They're not.)

Divine Destiny

This is the one we're currently watching and the ride that this show is. How many plots can be crammed into one show? How many ridiculous but true things can I say about this show?

Ji Ruochen (Ma Tianyu) is an orphan who dreams of martial arts adventures. Raised by a couple who run a Crime Inn, one day a customer robbery goes very wrong when the customer turns out to be the latest incarnation of Yin Feng, the Banished God (Marius Wang). Ji Ruochen accidentally kills the Banished God and his foster parents promptly take the body into the desert and dump it down a cliff, but not before taking a necklace made from a piece of Gu Qing, the Blue Stone Goddess (Xuan Lu), which is supposed to let her recognize the Banished God in their final incarnation. Accidentally stealing the Banished God's identity, Ji Ruochen finds himself a hotly desired commodity by the cultivation sects who are all eager to have the Banished God as a disciple for prophecy reasons. He goes with Zhang Yinyin (Angelababy), a feisty, argumentative girl who has had to work extra hard because her spirit was contaminated by a demonic root planted by the evil nine-tailed fox who is poorly imprisoned in a cave anyone can access.

MEANWHILE some dudes with amazing moustaches and a penchant for laughing in delight at their own evil have found the body of the Banished God and done some questionable mystical shit to put him in a new body and nurture a grudge against Ji Ruochen for stealing his identity.

THEN Gu Qing meets Ji Ruochen and like everyone else assumes he's the Banished God and she falls in love with him (Gu Qing having been a literal rock spirit who cultivated to immortality under the guidance of the Banished God, who followed her into the mortal realm and a cycle of 100 incarnations after Gu Qing accidentally Did A Crime) but then falls in love with HIM.

ALSO Zhang Yinyin is always at risk of succumbing to the temptation of using the demonic fox power that is within her even though that will literally turn her into a demon but maybe it's worth it if a woman who is actually a goddess who is actually a rock is making eyes at the junior you brought into the sect and are in love with and you want to be more powerful than her?

ALSO what's the mysterious power that let Ji Ruochen kill the Banished God in the first place?

IS the woman seeking revenge for the death of the Banished God's mortal incarnation his sister or his cousin or his "cousin"?

WHY is the only love language of immortals stalking?

There's a homunculus and a baby snake demon who is the most precious angel in the world and so many evil dudes delighted in how evil they are and TWO GOOD AND ALIVE PARENTS and a pair of comical monks who have a special attack with a name they have to shout out every time they use it.

Oh and the imprisoned fox demon may have an ex who just hangs out on a rock in something called the Endless Ocean wearing a mask and playing go against the homunculus he made.

And there's an ancient master who lives in an ice mountain and eats memories of love.

Also some people might be secret demons.

There's some weddings.

There's a tiny woman with an ice sword who brutally murders so many dudes.

Do you like CGI birds?

Do you like giant mechanical CGI birds that are for riding purposes?

There's a desert hermit who has a son who is a giant tortoise.

So many things are going on and terrible decisions are constantly being made and it's over a week before I can watch another episode and it's driving me mad. WHAT WILL BE THE FALLOUT OF THE MOST RECENT BAD DECISIONS?

[queer-ragnelle]

So, regarding your novels, what made you write backwards? I'm so curious about it.

TL;DR I started writing in Mordred and Galahad perspective. I then became possessed by the "older" characters and went "back" in the timeline to write their origins (starting with parentified Agravaine). I did this several times until I ended up with Ragnelle/Gawain as book 1, "the beginning," of what turned into an Epic many books long.

Let me give you a timeline...

1900s: I am born and develop Arthurian brain worms.

21st century: The worms declare Ragnelle/Gawain are my favorites and I write their Wedding multiple times for fun based off what can be gleaned from Wikipedia and retellings as I have no medieval resources at my disposal.

February 2020: I think Mordred and Galahad would make neat narrative foils and write a short story about them playing chess.

March 2020: The plague. I'm furloughed from my job. Writing becomes my full-time focus. I write 60,000 words in Mordred and Galahad perspective, plotting their story to be a trilogy.

June 2020: I'm back to work but I'm still writing. With money and curiosity at my disposal, I begin hoarding Arthurian books. Local quirky secondhand bookstore owner had an Arthurian fixation in his youth—I clear his shelves. He asks if I'm a medievalist major and I have to break it to him I'm just a High School drop out at the mercy of the Tell-Tale knights chattering in my head. I learn more lore. I splurge to buy the Vulgate cycle. I'm forever changed.

Late 2020: Reading medlit and retellings and watching all the movies super charged the brain worms. The Vulgate especially. I develop an obsession with circumventing the Orkneys/Welshmen blood feud with the power of gay sex. (Joan Wolf did it first in her 1988 book The Road to Avalon with Agravaine/Lamorak.)

January 2021: Historical research shows that Islam didn't exist yet during the 5th/6th century I'd been writing in. I order Zoroastrianism by Mary Boyce to make sure I'm depicting Ragnelle and Gromer's religion properly. But it's nbd their page time is minimal as background characters right? ....right?

2021 continued: The Agravaine/Lamorak brain worms take on a life of their own as I'm hospitalized and bedridden. Chronic pain and isolation become my themes. I write endlessly on my phone from bed. 2/3 novels are completed and readable straight through with a third book in pieces. These are currently at a combined total of nearly 140,000 words. (Plus the notes file with scenes I haven't moved yet...whoa.)

Late 2021: I rediscover old Ragnelle/Gawain stuff and decide to write about their wedding. Again. But this time with legit sources. Except Ragnelle isn't some ambiguous character of color, she's now very specifically Persian [Iranian] Zoroastrian. So the whole thing takes place in Persia and research goes crazy. Someone gives me their college log in so I can download and hoard essays and textbook PDFs. I do beta-read trades with people in facebook groups (bad bad idea) and yet...

End of 2021: I get sample edits from various editors including one guy who insulted my "lack of education" and said emulating J. R. R. Tolkien's old style didn't work anymore and I should take inspiration from The Hunger Games....for my queer romance in Persia. Right. Anyway I pay the $100 for the pages edited so he'll go away and continue searching for my unicorn editor....

2022: Ultimately facebook group scouting finally yields results as I stumble upon a fellow Ragnelle/Gawain enthusiast who would become my editor!! Editor says I have to cut the giant book into thirds, so what is now book 1 ends up chopped.

2023: I'm still revising book 1, now titled The Moonlit Knight, with my editor. All the while I'm drafting book 2, sporadically cheating to write in other books including an Elaine and Perceval book that appeared out of no where, and scouting out beta readers. One beta reader came via a tumblr mutual who connected me through instagram. A second beta reader discovered in a discord server. Another beta reader from a different discord server. So on and so forth.

Early 2024: Beta reading continues, until I have readers for every angle I require; queer people of all flavors, Zoroastrians, Arthurian enthusiasts, Jewish readers, people with DID knowledge etc! Slowly but surely I work through revising the book with all these wonderful people to a final 95,000 words!

Mid 2024: But now...it needed a cover. I commission a tumblr mutual and work for weeks with them on that, still editing/revising and having betas read book 2, Sunshine's Lady, which is currently almost 132,000 words long and half edited/beta read.

September 2024: I still haven't published. lol. But the process takes a long time and has a lot of moving parts!

So why do I actually recommend this method? Well, this has been hugely helpful to write foreshadowing. Forgetting for a second the blueprint drawn from Arthurian Legend itself, I know how my story with my version of the characters is going to go, so I can set all of that up way in advance. It's all well and good to know (spoiler) Arthur dies at the end, but it's never been about the conclusion so much as the journey there and the unique perspective of whichever character the author has chosen to focus on. I mean, Godfrey Turton's The Emperor Arthur is Pelleas point of view. He's instrumental at the battle of Camlann. It's the same with Bernard Cornwell's Warlord Chronicles and our one-handed friend Derfel, the reasoning for which isn't revealed until book 3. The world is your oyster! Fixate on your special character and set that shit up and pay it off!!!

Knowing what you're writing toward is extremely helpful during the drafting process. Even if it's only vaguely shaped it'll develop detail as you revise. Other than Derfel's missing hand, the best example of this I can think of is in Realm of the Elderlings series by Robin Hobb. It has a huge fanbase on tumblr for a reason, it's just an insane amount of set up you're not even aware of until the impact slams into you many books later and you're left going, "Whoa.....it was there the whole time." Mind blowing. I want have half as much narrative resonance as that.

Another thing that came of this is, since I wrote Agravaine/Lamorak first, and I'm obscenely Ragnelle obsessed, she pops up in their pov as a hag, only for them to not realize she's one and the same as Gawain's bombshell wife they "meet" later. I wrote this as the lads first, but it's extra funny now that, actually, the reader will experience Ragnelle's perspective first. Hottie uncursed Ragnelle does know she met them before, but feigns otherwise. So it's very fun to see the same encounters happen a second time a few books later. Agravaine is like, "Okay granny whatever. Bye... :^/" and Lamorak is like, "That granny was weird but I like her! :^)" meanwhile the reader is like, "AHHHHH! I KNOW HER!!! YOU FOOLS DON'T KNOW HOW IMPORTANT SHE'LL BE AHHH!!!" At least, that has been the beta reader reaction, which is gratifying. Even better, the books can be read out of order, so actually if you read Agravaine/Lamorak before Ragnelle/Gawain, it works in reverse, too. So if the reader knows who Agravaine is from reading his perspective, when Ragnelle or Gawain runs into him, the reader will realize who he is before it clicks for the point of view character. I had a lot of fun developing all of this across the series for multiple characters, it certainly happens more than once.

Wow that was long but I hope it makes sense and gives you an idea how it all went down. Thanks for taking an interest and I hope you enjoy my books when they're out. Take care! :^)

[justalia]

hello alia

I have a situation with law of assumption.. I was wondering if you could give some advice, anything is okay.

it might be long, but I like your vision on things so I thought you were the best to ask this to:

I’ve been into manifestation since middle school like back in 2018 and it was a wild ride because I didn’t know how to apply it, so I was on the loop.

then i discovered Neville on 2020 and tried to apply his teachings and I kinda had some “tiny” manifestations but never the ones that I wanted.

in 2023 i fell in love with this sort of Instagram influencer (and this is going to be really embarrassing to confess ngl) and I had a huge crush on him, so I tried to manifest him.

i became so obsessed over law of assumption, the terms of 4D/3D, Edward Art, I was into every single corner of the internet reading and filling my brain with this philosophy.

i can’t describe to u how obsessed I became for this guy, like I replied to his stories (not in a crazy way) but since he never replied or had an interaction with me I became obsessed , like, I had PANIC ATTACKS over him. I cried and became obsessive over a guy that never interacted w me.

My day fully depended on what happened mentally w him, and it became so horrible that I developed a limerence… it was awful

So I stopped trying to manifest him, and my life got better.

Then I met another guy, and same thing happened (not as crazy but kind of obsessive as well), and then I “gave up” and then I tried again w another dude and got the same result.

That same year, I got bullied by people at high school so I was always trying visualize and affirm like crazy that people liked me and never rejected me, but of course nothing happened. So I became depressive as well.

I stopped trying to manifest. I stopped reading about it, and my mental health was better!

Now, with me saying all of this, im not discarding the existence of law of assumption or conscious creation AT ALL. As I said before, I know it happens because it happened to me. I unconsciously brought some things into my life that I’ve imagined before, but only that. Never the things that I actually deeply want.

2024 arrives and I wanted to give it another shot, but my brain didn’t not wanted me to feel the “wish fulfilled” because i feel like it’s protecting me from feeling “delusional” and “hopeful” from things again. I can feel fulfilled for a while and then this sort of chest pressure comes again and my brain convinces me to give up.

No matter how hard I try to feel the best for me on the inside, my brain rejects it and tells me “what if you end hopeful again” what if that doesn’t happen?”. And that feels engraved to my being

So I honestly do not know if there’s any hope for me when it comes to bringing things into my life. I’ve always wanted the best for me, and I don’t know if I should keep trying to get rid of that belief but I sincerely don’t know how.

Since I applied the law incorrectly it feels like I don’t even know how to do it no more lmao

It’s sad because i can imagine such beautiful things but my mind only gives me the chance to feel them as a dream not as a reality no more.

i used to imagine myself with guys a lot but I wasn’t fulfilled at all, you know?? so I screwed the ability to consciously create for myself.

I could have anything but my brain is like “nope. you’re imagining. Stop doing it.” Like as an attempt to protect myself.

The sad part is that I like a guy, I follow him on insta and I replied to him something random on one of his stories and I was like “what if I fulfill myself” and tried to change the inner man but nothing worked.

Is there any chance? Can I do something to fix this at all?

Because if I can’t, I will give up and stop exhausting myself. But I do want to trust in myself, I feel like I can do better… but how? how can I change the inner man when I feel so hurt by life?

i hope you read this and if you know what I can do, please do. I like your views

Have a nice day Alia, and I’m glad you’re combing back ♡︎

i say give up.

i say stop trying to “change the inner man”.

i say look within and discover who you really are.

find the who.

who is this inner man? is it an higher being an abstract entity? who is it?

find who you are, notice who you are and all your struggles will stop, the feeling delusional, the hopelessness will stop.

find who you are and there will be no desire no more.

[boxboxblog]

Driver Profiles: Yuki Tsunoda

Updated December 2024

Name: Yuki Tsunoda

Age: 24

Nationality: Japanese

Years in F1: 4 (AlphaTauri/VCARB 2021-Present)

Number: 22

WDCs: N/A

Driving Style: One of the newest drivers on track, Tsunoda is known for his aggression, raw speed, and temper. He drives in an extremely modern way, compared to many of the older drivers who still drive with traces of more classic styles. He tends to pull bold overtakes and does a lot of late-braking maneuvers, and this allows him to be very assertive in wheel-to-wheel situations. On the negative side, Tsunoda's temper and aggression leads him make mistakes, and he has been criticized for his lack of consistency. This aggression also means he pushes the car very hard, and wears out his tires fast.

History:

Tsunoda was born to a racing family, with a father racing in the Gymkhana Car Competition in Japan. He grew up around the track, and started karting when he was 5 years old. In 2006 he won the series championship at the Nakai Inner Circuit, where he had watched his father race. He started professional carting in 2010, joining the JAF Junior Karting Championship, before moving to the regional class in 2013 (winning that series) and to the national class in 2014. In 2015 he placed second in the All Japan Karting Championship FS125 Class.

(Young Tsunoda in his karting days)

In 2016, Tsunoda graduated from Honda's Suzuka Circuit Racing School in the advanced formula class and became a member of the Honda Formula Dream Project. In the same year he made his single-seater debut in the F4 Japanese Championship  in a one-off event in Suzuka. At this race he earned his 1st podium. 2017 was when he started his first full season in the F4 Japanese Championship while also competing in the regional championship. He would go on to get 1st in the regional and 3rd in the national championship. 2018 Tsunoda would continue in Japanese F4, and win the championship with 7 race wins.

(Tsunonda in the F4 Japanese Championship series)

2018 Tsunoda would join the Red Bull Junior program after Honda became engine suppliers for the F1 team. He joined the FIA Formula 3 Championship that year, winning one race in Monza and achieving 9th in the standings. Tsunoda also competed in the Euroformula Open Championship during this time, and finished 4th in the standings. Early 2020 it was announced that Tsunoda would be moving up to Formula 2 for the 2020 season. Before that, he competed in the 2020 Toyota Racing Series and placed 4th.

(Tsunoda on top step of podium during F3, along with future RB teammate Liam Lawson, left)

His 2020 F2 debut was a relatively positive for a rookie, with some high points finishes and podiums, but also a few races where he scored very low. He finished his season in 3rd. During that season he test drove his first F1 car, for Toro Rosso/AlphaTauri. He would go on to be announced for the 2021 AlphaTauri lineup.

(Tsunoda during F2 days)

His first year at AlphaTauri was a mix between good and bad. While he had some fantastic results (highest being 4th) he also had some very poor ones, often finishing outside of points and being our paced by his teammate Pierre Gasly. However, he was near universally praised for his rookie season, with the F1 Technical Director calling it the best rookie season he had seen in a few. 2022, however, was a difficult year for Tsunoda, usually finishing outside of points position. His best finish was 10th, and this race ended a streak of zero points finishes. He was outpaced by his teammate once again, and would finish 17th in the championship

(Tsunoda and Gasly in their AlphaTauri's)

He would be retained by AlphaTauri for 2023, partnering Nyck de Vries (who would be replaced by Daniel Riccardo halfway), and would have another difficult year. He would score low points a handful of times throughout the season. the most positive moment for Tsunoda was in Abu Dhabi, where he led the race for a short time, his first lead ever. Unfortunately he would drop down to 8th, but still showed improvement.

In 2024 AlphaTauri rebranded to RB (often called VCARB) and Tsunoda was retained. He has had a more positive year, outpacing teammate Daniel Riccardo (who was replaced by Liam Lawson after the Singapore GP), but still regularly ends up outside of the points. In the 2024 Japanese GP he would happily finish in 10th, becoming the first Japanese driver since 2012 to score points on home soil. The most positive aspect of that year for Tsunoda is that his qualifying pace has been stellar, regularly making it into Q3. He finished the season 12th in the standings.

He is set to remain with RB for the 2025 season.

(Tsunoda with the 2024 VCARB car)

Major Races:

2021 Bahrain GP - His debut race in F1, he finished in 9th scoring some points for his team. He made some fantastic overtakes during the race, including a memorable last-lap one on Lance Stroll. It was an impressively confident race despite his inexperience.

2021 Abu Dhabi - His highest finish ever of 4th, he took advantage of the chaos, overtaking on his teammate to take the higher finish of the two AlphaTauri's.

2022 Emilia Romagna GP - One of his strongest race performances yet, he finished in 7th after multiple bold, yet crafty, overtakes. He showed his evolving race craft and willingness to push the limit in a lesser car.

2022 Spanish GP - While his finish was not fantastic (only 10th) he showed remarkably improved composure compared to previous races. This displayed how Tsunoda was evolving as a racer, and how he overcomes his main weakness to make his race craft better.

2024 Japanese GP - A happy race for Japan after Tsunoda became the first points scorer on home soil since 2012. While he did finish just inside the points (10th), it was a monumental day for Japanese fans and Tsunoda.

Cheers,

-B

[thelonelyshore-if]

How does TV broadcast work in Easthaven ? Do they get regular channels ? If so, does the fog have to work extra hard to keep people from noticing discrepancies between their town and the modern world ? Is it annoyed when they watch TV ? Do big events (sports/politics etc) go unoticed by citizens ?

Easthaven has a teeny tiny radio slash tv station that does local broadcasts. They share stuff like results from last night's high school track meet or when a couple announces their engagement. Local news.

Other than that, there is no TV. Only movies. The citizens of Easthaven could name the president, maybe, but couldn't tell you when an election is. If it's pointed out how weird it is that nobody in town has ever voted in a general election the fog smoothes it over.

For sports, high school and, like, beer leagues would be the extent of people's knowledge. Nobody in town knows what the superbowl is, for example.

When it comes to discrepancies, the fog leads people to assume anything too beyond its scope is made up for the movies. Something like star wars and a movie about modern teens from the 2020s would be seen as more or less equally fictional.

Just movie magic. Aren't people so creative?

[jazmine-here]

Vanilla Girl

Stay vanilla. Stay sweet. There's nothing wrong with being a daisy.

Don’t ever try to “flex” for others by forcing your feet into a pair of glass slippers that aren't made for you. If you are uncomfortable with crafting a piece of work for a fandom, popularity, friends, or your audience, then stay true to yourself. Don’t put on the “cool girl” mask or attempt to maintain it if you have. Popularity may not always be guaranteed, but your relationship with your audience—the right one—will have longevity, purity, and beauty. Be yourself. Trust yourself.

Hello! My name is Jazmine!

I am a reemerging writer who tinkers with art. I was dubbed "Jazzy-B-Real" in my youth and "Otherwise_Uncolonized" in my young(er) adulthood.

Jazzy-B-Real:

Otherwise_Uncolonized:

My experimental YouTube page was "Constellations of Neverland" at one point. I've been offline since 2020. In 2024, I saw people online celebrating my middle school and high school art while wishing me well due to my disappearance. I'm happy to say that I am well after a rough post-Covid era and a lot of growing up. During Covid's reign, I had purged the internet of what I viewed to be carbon footprints, yet people have kept the light alive in some of my purer contributions. I am eternally grateful to you all for retaining such light. As the (late) blooming adult I am now, I've learned to view everything with balance—including the broken person I was—and there are lovely works that I dearly miss as a result.

Those works are the "darlings" from my young life. The less agreeable ones were the products of a lost soul grappling with darkness and negative influences in many forms. When I hopped online, I was too young and suffering from complex, subconsciously locked trauma that poured into so much of my work. Some fan works in my teen years were infested with "edge lord/lady" energy and "spicy content" that partially stemmed from that trauma while the rest came from me trying to wear "the cool girl" mask for an audience (gamer boys and adults) regardless of my secret discomfort, but I suppose much of it would've been called art therapy in another field. Never again will I entertain those things on a public platform.

All in all, I'm in the heat of writing original work.

Writing, Poetry & Artwork

I'll be posting my original stories, prose poetry, and standard poetry on my FictionPress.com with the occasional preview slapped on Tumblr. The account already has a small library. Much of what I write will also grace a website I'm building, so please stay tuned for it and the original novels I have in store. New artwork and fandom tributes will hit Tumblr, Twitter/X, DeviantART, and my personal website. Doing commissions for writing prompts and art pieces will also become a part of my activities with my audience.

My AO3 account for old 2014-2017 fandom storyboards like "My Dearest Cousin," "Indentured (Union of the Crowns)," "Carry Me Anew," and "The King" is back up as well.

༺Please read and review with your pretty thoughts! Thank you so much to those who have saved some of my fandom pieces: