#undiagnosed illness

[sickly-sapphic]

ITS ADA NOT AFA 😭🤦‍♂️🤦‍♀️

I often make a lot of grammar and spelling mistakes on my posts (cuz of, you guessed it, disability) but this is definitely my most embarrassing 😬

Anyway, I thought it'd be cool to do a post recognising the origins and meanings of the disability pride flag - they're pretty recent!! This is gonna be up on insta a lil later too <3

[ID: The disability pride flag - a grey background with a diagonal red, yellow, white, blue and green stripe - as the background to all slides. Text reads; Disability Pride Flag, history & origins.

Where did it come from? The disability pride flag was created by Ann Magill in 2019. Magill had been disappointed to discover an event celebrating the 20th Anniversary of the ADA was being held in the basement of the venue, and not in a public space.

The original. While the zigzags on the original flag were intentional, to represent the creative solutions to barriers faced by disabled people, Magill made the decision to change the flag in 2021. The original flag was causing a strobe effect on computer, posing a threat to some disabled people (e.g. epileptics).

A picture of the old disability pride flag - black background with zigzags with black lines separating them. In order; blue, yellow, white, red, green.

Making Changes. During the process of making changes, Magill consulted with other disabled people to see how to improve the design and make it more inclusive. The zigzag was changed to diagonal stripes, representing cutting through barriers, the colours were softened and their order changed.

On the grey part of the flag reads; mourning disabled people who have died

due to ableism, eugenics, for the rebellion and many other reason, rebellion and rage, colours similar to the Jolly Roger.

On each colour stripe is its meaning; red is physical, yellow is neurodiverse, white is invisible and undiagnosed, blue is psychiatric and green is sensory. End ID]

[furbydrizzle]

Anyone have advice dealing with disabilities and chronic illnesses? But also like working full time???

[misku-nimfa]

So I just got my annual review and with every other category being Exceeds Expectations, I got "punctuation and attendance" marked as an area that needs improvement.

...the reason I struggle to get into work on time and calling out is because of a currently undiagnosed chronic pain/illness. And, well, I don't see that getting better any time soon.

Does anyone have any advice on how to politely bring this up with the boss without inviting in ableism or otherwise mucking this job up?

[wishful-seeker]

There is something really wrong with me. Like REALLY wrong.

[enasallavellan]

So, getting my gastric swallow test. About every outcome will drastically change my life and make way harder than it already is. Think happy thoughts and pray it's some weird thing that'll just clear up after awhile. I can't deal with another chronic issue, between bipolar disorder and ADHD, life is hard enough already.

[tumble-tv]

"kill them with kindness" WRONG run them over in your wheelchair 👨‍🦼 👩‍🦼 🧑‍🦼 👨‍🦽 👩‍🦽 🧑‍🦽 👨‍🦼 👩‍🦼 🧑‍🦼 👨‍🦽 👩‍🦽 🧑‍🦽 👨‍🦼 👩‍🦼 🧑‍🦼 👨‍🦽 👩‍🦽 🧑‍🦽 👨‍🦼 👩‍🦼 🧑‍🦼 👨‍🦽 👩‍🦽 🧑‍🦽 👨‍🦼 👩‍🦼 🧑‍🦼 👨‍🦽 👩‍🦽 🧑‍🦽 👨‍🦼 👩‍🦼 🧑‍🦼 👨‍🦽 👩‍🦽 🧑‍🦽 👨‍🦼 👩‍🦼 🧑‍🦼 👨‍🦽 👩‍🦽 🧑‍🦽 👨‍🦼 👩‍🦼 🧑‍🦼 👨‍🦽 👩‍🦽 🧑‍🦽 👨‍🦼 👩‍🦼 🧑‍🦼 👨‍🦽 👩‍🦽 🧑‍🦽

[matchboxcowboy]

Dear chronic nausea community,

Anyone have any advice for coping with severe or moderate nausea at school? I can’t think of anything, and neither can the school workers. I’m open to anything.

Wishing you low nausea, and helpful doctors as always.

[philsmeatylegss]

If I were Dan and Phil I would never hard launch because it’s so embarrassing that we were right. Like what do you mean you were so in love a bunch of thirteen year old’s clocked it? I would never give that satisfaction.

[chronicsymptomsyndrome]

I know its kind of silly to say “don’t feel bad for canceling because of pain, fatigue, etc” because I know guilt is a reflex you can’t easily refrain from. But you can reason with yourself so instead I’ll say this:

Nobody can feel what you’re feeling but you. Nobody knows the severity of what you would be putting yourself through if you were to “tough it out.”

If you do “tough it out,” the purpose for you doing the thing will most likely not be fulfilled anyway. You probably will not be mentally present or engaged. You probably will not have a good time or get much out of it. Etc.

If people really have such a problem with it, thats a huge red flag. Being transparent about your needs and boundaries is a great way to weed people like that out of your life.

If you have any kind of chronic illness or disability, remember that you probably have a very warped judgement of what is “reasonable” to endure in terms of pain, fatigue, burnout, etc.

You didn’t ask for this, you don’t deserve this, there is no reason you should have to bear the weight of it alone. I bet if someone else was in your position, you wouldn’t mind helping accommodate for them?

Low energy days are truly sacred, take them seriously. Please respect your body’s signals. “If you do not choose times to rest, your body will choose for you” or however the saying goes

It is so much pressure to have to deliberate what sacrifices are necessary for proper self care. Give yourself extra credit for having to deal with that stress on top of whatever is putting you in that position in the first place. Thats a lot at once

You are leading by example and showing others that you would never expect them to hurt or overextend themselves for your benefit. Putting yourself first always inspires other to do the same.

Please be proud of yourself for even considering canceling and putting your needs first. That is so strong of you <3

[dr0wzytraz0done]

I have a neurology appointment Thursday. This will be fun (extreme sarcasm)

[kolibri-herz]

I was supposed to go to a ren fair tomorrow. But we have an extreme heat wave this weekend and heat makes me feel horrible, so I won't be able to do all the walking and standing of a fair. And it hurts so much. I feel so lonely, not because I don't have friends, but because my body and my needs often keep me from going out. I don't wanna spend another weekend alone inside, but there's not much air conditioned spaces here so I don't know what else to do. I feel so betrayed by my body.

[inkskinned]

they want to talk about mental illness and acceptance and how everyone is a little ocd it's cute and quirky and their "intrusive thoughts" are about cutting their hair off and you say yours are about taking a razorblade to your eye and they say ew can you not and everyone is a little adhd sometimes! except if you're late it's a personality flaw and it's because you are careless and cruel (and someone else with adhd mentions they can be on time, so why can't you?) and it's not an eating disorder if it's girl dinner! it's not mania if it's girl math! what do you mean you blew all of your savings on nonrefundable plane tickets for a plane you didn't even end up taking. what do you mean that you are afraid of eating. get over it. they roll their little lips up into a sneer. can you not, like, trauma dump?

they love it on them they like to wear pieces of your suffering like jewels so that it hangs off their tongue in rapiers. they are allowed to arm-chair diagnose and cherrypick their poisons but you can't ever miss too many showers because that's, like, "fuckken gross?" so anyone mean is a narcissist. so anyone with visual tics is clearly faking it and is so cringe. but they get to scream and hit customer service employees because well, i got overwhelmed.

you keep seeing these posts about how people pleasers are "inherently manipulative" and how it's totally unfair behavior. but you are a people pleaser, you have an ingrained fawn response. in the comments, you have typed and deleted the words just because it is technically true does not make it an empathetic or kind reading of the reaction about one million times. it is technically accurate, after all. you think of catholic guilt, how sometimes you feel bad when doing a good deed because the sense of pride you get from acting kind - that pride is a sin. the word "manipulation" is not without bias or stigma attached to it. many people with the fawn response are direct victims of someone who was malignantly manipulative. calling the victims manipulative too is an unfair and unkind reading of the situation. it would be better and more empathetic to say it is safety-seeking or connection-seeking behavior. yes, it can be toxic. no, in general it is not intended to be toxic. there is no reason to make mentally ill people feel worse for what we undergo.

you type why is everyone so quick to turn on someone showing clear signs of trauma but you already know the fucking answer, so what's the point of bothering. you kind of hate those this is what anxiety looks like! infographics because at this point you're so good at white-knuckling through a severe panic attack that people just think you're stoic. even people who know the situation sometimes comment you just don't seem depressed. and you're not a 9 year old white kid so there's no way you're on the spectrum, you're not obsessed with trains and you were never a good mathematician. okay then.

mental illness is trending. in 2012 tumblr said don't romanticize our symptoms but to be fair tiktok didn't exist yet. there's these series of videos where someone pretends to be "the most boring person on earth" and is just being a normal fucking person, which makes your skin crawl, because that probably means you are boring. your friend reads aloud a profile from tinder - no depressed bitches i fucking hate that mental illness crap. your father says that medication never actually works.

you still haven't told your grandmother that you're in therapy. despite everything (and the fact it's helping): you just don't want her to see you differently.

[misku-nimfa]

I feel like I've been set on fire and have had my spine twisted afterwards (despite the pain meds) but I've still got work to do T.T

[ontheoutside-lookingin]

Some chronic pain memes for extra hurty times

[eddieelliotmunson]

Stuff I didn't think would bother me about disability progression, but does:

My skin.

I'm getting acne and weird dry spots on my face and shoulders and everywhere, and stretch marks everywhere else. And my hair is a disaster--I finally gave myself a buzzcut so I wouldn't have to look at greasy hair all the time, but I did it terribly, and it's ridiculously uneven

I know why my skin is getting bad--I have no energy to stand at the sink and wash my face, I can't shower without so much fatigue that I can barely handle it, my depression meds made me gain weight (which I might actually lose again because something is causing me to lose my appetite and get really nauseous when I consume anything but water, applesauce, and pudding cups).

But it still hurts. I feel like even if I'm using a cane or my crutches in public, or maybe even a wheelchair someday, as long as I'm not in pajamas or sweats and my skin/hair looks good than people won't be disgusted by me. But instead I look visible disabled most of the time, and that's scary. Especially because I don't know what's going to come next--am I eventually going to have to get a feeding tube, if this nausea and loss of appetite stays? Or if there's something wrong with my kidneys, like my doctor worries about, will I have to get a dialysis port?

I now have dietary restrictions (even though that doesn't really matter right now)--I have to eat GERD-safe stuff, because that's what they think the nausea is coming from. There's a lot of stuff that can make my acid reflux flare up, including a lot of my favorite foods.

There's something about being visibly disabled that just hits me. I can't pretend anymore. I can't pretend to be fine to strangers, or my mom's church, or my friends. I can't pretend to keep up with them and be on the same life path.

It's scary how much worse my health has gotten in the last couple weeks.

[tumble-tv]

SAY IT WITH ME: MEDICAL GASLIGHTING IS MALPRACTICE