lettertoholly

[lettertoholly]

I probably won't be able to post a full poem this month :( school is eating me alive.

Here's part of a poem I've been thinking about for a while, it's going to be a while before it's really done.

[lettertoholly]

Empty.

I think I'm ringing hollow,

My throat clatters a tongue dictated upon it.

I'll try roll an R

(And choke on my saliva).

I'll try a retroflex consonant

(And gag on my tongue).

Whenever I open my mouth

Out rasps a hollow rattle.

Yet my dictated tongue,

(My frankenstein vernacular)

Tastes strange and pricks my insides,

It's becoming unbearable.

(I can't fix it, no one can)

I'm bleeding from the inside out;

Red, white and blue, just to your majesty's taste.

I'll slip on a claddagh ring;

I gifted it to myself.

(There's no one who'd gift it to me)

I'd resent them for it;

But who would know who I am if I don't shout it

Rattle dryly about it to any willing ear

Yet the willing ear grows resentful

(It's not like they'd get it, anyway).

I'll include my mother,

Drape sarees, and joke about our own ignorance,

(Is it bliss or is it agony?)

Drape myself in layers of silk, cotton, organza, dyed in ikkat

They irritate my skin

(It doesn't turn the right shade of red)

I'm beginning to believe I'm allergic to myself.

I'll tear it all off.

Leave the attempts at “culture” pooling around my feet.

Let the cold stroke goosebumps along my discoloured flesh.

I've spent hours

Piecing my being apart in the mirror,

(There's scars from when they etched our borders).

I should try to distinguish your face from mine.

But you're long gone, so you

scribe no signature upon my visage

Yet however many forged layers of foreign cloth I may ensconce myself in,

(And promptly tear away)

When I try to open my mouth to speak my stolen tongue I hear,

Rattling; I think I'm empty…

[lettertoholly]

Meet empty

This is a poem about my mixed feelings about being mixed race. I'm half English, and a quarter Irish and a quarter Indian. Or, half colonisED half colonisER.

I have yet to found a medium where I feel like I represent all of my ethnicity. Do I even need to find it? Considering my urge to, I think I do. Anyway, this poem is my first step in finding that.

PS THANK YOU RF KUANG FOR THE LINE "FRANKENSTEIN VERNACULAR" YOU LITERARY GENIUS

[lettertoholly]

this looks so ugly I'm so sorry

[lettertoholly]

when she texts "ily" but basil hallward would've said "from the moment I met you, your personality had the most extraordinary influence over me. I quite admit that I adored you madly, extravagantly, absurdly. I was jealous of everyone to whom you spoke. I wanted to have you all to myself. I was only happy when I was with you. When I was away from you, you were still present in my art."

[lettertoholly]

being off my phone is nice bc I’m not on my phone but it makes me sad because I miss things that my friends say

[lettertoholly]

had a fascinating english class that resulted in the notes header “the forcefeminization of victor frankenstein”

[lettertoholly]

JUNATION KEEPS WINNING

Still dwelling in this catch-foot-twizzle- Ina-bauer-Jun-escaped-military-service-moment.

[lettertoholly]

Hey. Don't cry. Weird teenage girl somewhere out there reading Frankenstein for the first time. Ok?

[lettertoholly]

flashbacks. 4am on a tuesday.

Okay, I'll bite

[lettertoholly]

how it feels to ignore the plot, and turn to fanfiction

[lettertoholly]

book nook!! got this as a christmas gift and recently finished constructing it. i love it so much genuinely one of my favourite things ever.

[lettertoholly]

Things that society considers autism an excuse for

Nazi salutes

sexual assault

Things that society considers autism not an excuse for and things that people think children who do should be met with violence

using the wrong tone

showing too much or too little emotion

asking questions and having an authority figure take it as "arguing"

[lettertoholly]

Basil if he got on the train to Paris and recovered from his obsession with Dorian

[lettertoholly]

RANDOM POEM!!!!

My first sonnet ever, and maybe a less miserable poem. I'm miserable in general so my works are miserable in general too. Oopsies.

This isn't about anyone in particular. It's about a reality I don't live in, where I have a loving girlfriend and we spent our summer in a better place. Manifesting that this is going to be my summer '26.

[lettertoholly]

Stop treating me like I'm the child I once was. You stole her from me; the damage is done.

-lettertoholly

[lettertoholly]

JUNPODIUM JUNMEDAL JUNBRONZE