#undiagnosed anxiety baby

[i-drew-a-dog]

If someone could tell my body/brain that I'm not being hunted for sport and am in fact watching Dan and Phil play the Sims that would be great...

[krispiecake]

also. if you were wondering. yes i have diagnosed the main character in my show with autism. obviously.

[anarchywoofwoof]

my dear babies who grew up with undiagnosed adhd who are now medicated adults and still struggling, this ones for you.

let me give you a cute tip ok? ready?

you don't have to do things as fast as possible

ok i know that this is jarring to read, but stay with me. you may be having the realization at this very moment that every single task that you have ever undertaken in your life, your goal was to complete it as quickly as you possibly could. and maybe you're medicated now or maybe you aren't. but this has always been your philosophy.

this is not actually necessary and not how neurotypical people view things like tasks or responsibilities

a real life example of how this information has changed the way that i behave and has had a positive effect on my mental health:

i noticed that when getting ready to take my dog for a walk, my primary goal has always been to get the harness and leash on her and get out the door as quickly as i can. for no reason other than i was lead to believe as a kid that faster = efficient = better. however, there are other factors, such as: i sweat very easily and moving around at a fast pace trying to collect all of the things i need to rush out the door exacerbates this. these combination of factors results in me getting highly irritable and overstimulated.

i later realized that this is the way that i get ready to leave the house no matter what i am doing

now, when i am getting ready to take my dog for a walk, i purposefully do everything at half speed. i gather stuff slower. i move through the house slower. i put the harness on slower. i clip the leash slower. i open the door slower. i make a conscious effort to do everything almost in a way that feels like slow motion to me.

and you know what? applying this behavior to almost every single task or activity that i have to do results in me having a significant magnitude less anxiety than if i am in my usual "do this task as if you are racing against an invisible clock" state of mind.

the old saying "slow down to speed up" is quite poignant when it comes to dealing with neurodivergency, especially adhd. even if you're medicated, you may still be consistently making mistakes because you're probably still moving with a level of urgency that is unwarranted. you're not in a race. it's ok to do things using inefficient methods, especially if it is a benefit to your mental well-being.

[caramelcactus]

fck the canon lore really. This shit fr makes feel abnormal amount of grief over fcking fictional pixelated children. I VITALLY need my babies alive and happy well not entirely but at least alive. Gonna use that AU as my haven where Evan is not tormented and is being protected instead like a precious baby he is, Michael despite his tough guy persona being a overprotective older brother, and Elizabeth fangirling over Circus baby (bcs animatronics aren’t murderers here) and is in general a sweet considerate little girl ( ˊ̱˂˃ˋ̱ )

∘₊✧──────✧₊∘

Though I made a big brain move here. All the deaths( I mean Aftons) that happened in games are just trauma-related nightmares in this au. Animatronics are normal in real world, but are murderous in nightmares

✦ I mean bite of 83 is something Evan could theoretically see in dream because of his fear of animatronics and separation anxiety after losing his mom

✦ William, apart of his untreated/undiagnosed bipolar disorder with severe manic episodes, has PTSD after springlock incident and it haunts him even in his dreams

✦ Michael may be the one with most nightmares because he’s scared of losing his family. Like my guy has his parents divorced, Charlotte whom he treated like his sister suddenly dying which amplified his protectiveness towards Evan and Elizabeth out of intense fear to lose them too, then his mom disappearing the exact same way, his dad being mentally unstable and denying it, and two little siblings he’s hella protective of and has to look after. Not to mention school and peers problems. It fucked him up a lot and he’s only 15. His nightmares are result of his severe stress and trauma

[walkgently-inlove]

You know… I am all for leveling up, being the best version of yourself, and motivating others to do the same. But most of the glo-up culture I see on tumblr and TikTok preaches a specific way of life that not everyone can adapt to—and in fact can be detrimental.

You are not “lazy” for not being able to hold a routine no matter how hard you try. You may thrive off a chaotic schedule that makes inherent sense to you and still allows you to do all the things you planned on doing.

You don’t have to fall asleep by a certain time to be a successful person. You don’t have to eat certain foods to be worthy of love. You don’t need to put yourself down for not following the schedule someone else suggested.

When I tried to change my lifestyle to fit what is valued on here, I felt TERRIBLE. I was exhausted, unmotivated, and my creativity was shot. Please listen to your body. Please respect your unique brain and individual needs!

Share what works for you, but don’t put others down! Odds are they’re trying and it simply doesn’t work for them! We all define success differently. What matters is that you are happy and healthy.

[missbluesunflowersstuff]

Some batfamily headcanon

They all have auditory processing disorder at this point, except for Damian and Duke

Damian is the youngest and Bruce and the others protect him most and Duke uses armor plus his powers makes him a little difficult to get hurt

Dick is partially deaf in his left ear and Tim is partially deaf in his right ear

Bruce and Jason suffer from chronic pain

If Steph or Damian just stopped and went into some blank state for more than two minutes call the most responsible adult near immediately, they are having an anxiety attack (they just freeze and stare at nothing, this is their anxiety attack)

Tim has narcolepsy actually this is why he has the worst sleeping schedule of them all

(Tim's narcolepsy may be undiagnosed, diagnosed but his parents hid the result, Tim refuses to take his medication because he believes he can "handle" it, it's up to you)

Jason, Cass and Damian have PTSD

(all of them have it actually, but these three have the worst attacks)

Dick emergency contact is Donna Troy

and it doesn't matter what the batfamily do or say, Dick is always puts Donna as his emergency contact

Damian emergency contact is Maya Ducard

Damian had a lot of nightmares in him early years, the family takes turns to take care of it

Jason and Damian have intrusive thoughts (hurt the others and hurt themselves, Jason villain era was basically 'I let my intrusive thoughts win' ) - today Damian handled it better than Jason did in the past (Jason I love you, but I will never forgive you for what you did to Mia Dearden)

Bruce created a lot of personas for his work and because of it Dick created the "hamburger theory"

If he accepts the hamburger and eats it with both hands it's Batman; if he starts eating his hamburger with fork and knife it's Bruce Wayne; if he's holding the burger with a napkin and smile it's Brucie; but if he rejected the hamburger just run, it's not safe near him in that moment

Dick made this theory when he still was a Robin and this is some 'don't tell dad' information between all of the kids

They usually share information with Cass in audio to help her understand, Babs still helps her with how to read but she prefers to use emojis or audio messages

Cass may or may not respond to their audio, but she will view it

Bruce and the others have no clue about Dick real health status because the only person who has legal rights to it is Donna and she doesn't share with them

One time Tim tried to steal Damian medical records to put in their data, he found out that Maya already did that and now she is the only person in the world legally allowed to have that information

Both Dick and Damian don't regret their decision because they really trust in their sisters more than the bats

(and yes, Bruce feels breyated because of this)

14!Damian is still a little afraid of sleeping, because he doesn't know what kind of dream he might have (he doesn't have nightmares like he used to, but the anxiety is still there)

Duke and Damian usually hang out more than the others; one time Steph asks why in the common channel and Duke only answers "you know that me and him are basically immortals, right? When everyone leaves, we'll still be here" (Duke is immortal because of his powers and Damian... Do you really think his family would allow him die?)

No one knows exactly the kind of shit Damian was submitted in the league and as Tim falls in get his medical records they'll never knows

The same applicants for Cass trying, what exactly Cain did with her is something she'll never tell

Jason actually has amnesia from his league days or some kinda of weird and very selective amnesia, everything just looks like a blur to him

Jason believes that he was hypnotized to forget everything or some weird magic stuff. But on some nights, in the silence of his room, Jason still seems like a fat baby lying near him, he wonders who is the baby and who they are now...

Some days, because of his chronic pain, Bruce uses a cane to walk around the house, but only inside

[pocket-jack]

Hey, guys! I decided to torture myself before sleep beacause... Why not? So, here's KidKiller's rough sheets with some headcanons I have for the guys (probably with a lot off mistakes cus my browser refuses to fix them for me)

Kid time, baby

I draw him differently now. I know his face looks more... diamond shaped in anime, but I can't get rid of his square coded energy, so... Heart-shaped it is!

When he recieved his eye scar he didn't lose the ability to see, but now it get's dry really fast and if he won't do something about it it'll gonna ache.

He had multiple piercings on his ear, but his powers just kept pulling them and one day almost ripped his ear of, so he (with a manly tears) decided to take them off.

I headcanon him wearing a corset, because he's a little chubby and he can't get rid of this extra fat (not with his appetites). Also everytime when he takes it off, not only he's forced to look at his hanging stomach, but he's also has to fight off Killer. Killer's only dream was for Kid to be well fed and happy.

Nor his, nor Killer's sexuality is defined by them, but actually based out of other's observations. Kid is pansexual because he's kinda gender blind. For him it's confusing that you're weak just because you have tits and extra hole between your legs. He's also demiromantic. Both of those preference he acquired during Kutsukku (where you couldn't trust anyone, even your lover. And where the gender norms were the least of your concerns)

He also have undiagnosed ADHD which mostly give him extra impulsivity and also now the metal can speak (thank ye, neurodivergency!). Sometimes it's stresses him the hell off, especially during Kutsukku. He could not sleep because of all of this buzzing he kept hearing from EVERYWHERE. Now he can control it, but sometimes it returnd and he has to suffer.

Metal also responds to his hidden emotions. It may float when he thinks, reflects or remembering something. It may rumble when he's angry, concerned, scared. Or it may form something if he's happy, in love or something like that.

He's hard rock kinda guy, we all know this, but I headcanon him as a music lover in general (so whatever makes his brain go bzzt, mostly rock). I find Thrown a couple of month ago and it's sounds like something Kid would like (probably even kin, esp Backfire). MSI is a basic thing for him to have (every punk need at least one song in their playlist). I guess not every person will understand it, but Пшлнхй is such a Kid coded song (Every Russian proverb, but one part is just sending you to fuck yourself is something that Kid would do irl. The chorus is just... mmm)

Killer, my beloved!!!!

I love headcanoning him as androgenous. He has a feminine features: oval shaped face, eyes with big eyelashes, even his lips is a little softer than the average male lips. That is the main reason why he hid his face, because everyone would bully him fot it when he was young. Killer was confused with a girl a lot during his time on Kutsukku.

During timeskip he strained a lot of muscles just to get stronger. He was neglecting himself most of the time, because he had a mission: to become stronger so he'll never fail to protect Kid ever again. They also been really distant during their training. Only when Killer hurted his arm they bounded again. Kid was surprisingly a good mentor for his healing. Probably because their trauma was almost the same

When he's wearing a mask he usually get's his hair out of the way so it wouldn't mess with his vision

Pre timeskip he wanted to work on his style, feeling obliged to do so, cus his crew was dressing up in colorful styles. He choose to fit into more West Bluish kinda style (cowboy boots and pants). But then anxiety hitted him and suddenly he felt too vissible and everyone was looking at him and... Let's just say it wasn't a pleasant expirience for him. He just wanted to show that he was a part of the crew too, but now he feels himself too overreacting and dramatic and stuff. It took a lot of time for everyone to convince him that it wasn't about the look, but more about the comfort. With their support Killer started wearing something he likes more, and it felt fantastic. He actually started to like himself in the mirror a bit more after timeskip and then Wano happened

Killer is asexual beacuse of the amount of trauma he suffered during his childhood. I hc him having a low libido too. He's still feels romantic attraction (only for Kid), and if he asks, Killer will have sex with him without hesitation. But it's only for Kid, OR for his sake

It is so logical for him to have OCD. Just him casualy living and then the dread that if he won't do something usefull his crew will see how fucking usless and worthless he actually is and live him behind the same his parents did just suddenly hits him. Oh hey! Anxiety! Abandonment issues! This man will explode, please, give him a hug.

It got worse after Wano. He's doing bad things with his face and no one knows. Even Kid. (I love making them suffer for the sake of Hurt\Comfort)

I am 100% sure Killer is a Queen guy. It just gives me Killer vibes... The same with Elton John. And also... To fit in his pre timeskip cowboy vibes into the oven,,, He's actually like country rock alongside with glam rock. Barns Courtney is his favorate

So... How do you like my silly little headcanons? Maybe I post something about Heat and Wire too. Welp, I'm fainting out of exaustion, bye!

[creativity-deficient]

Random Tweek Tweak hcs bc im thinking bout him yet again :)))

-Has an undiagnosed anxiety disorder, made worse by the increased use of Methamphetamine over the years and mistaken for adhd (canon/implied canon), which I do like to think DOES have as well. He is also on the autism spectrum.

-Has mild Seborrheic dermatitis, a skin condition that causes red and flaky patches of skin and usually flares up due to stress. It starts mainly on his head/under his hair as a kid but worsens in his teens years. Also has dermatillomania (a skin picking disorder), as well. Both of these become a lot worse in his teen years, with the addition of meth induced skin sores and hormonal acne to boot, but do become a lot more manageable for him as an adult. Still however, he does have some faint scars from all the picking and scratching over the years.

-Small tubby lil guy :) (sorta?? implied canon??), below average in height and considerably pudgy compared to most of his peers (genetics/stress eating). Loses a lot of this weight in his teen years due to health issues, but does gain a lot of it back as an adult. Also has a pudgy baby face that he never quite grows out of, even as an adult.

-His eyes a blue hazel, a rare eye color

-Sometimes snaps and hums to calm himself down.

-Enjoys baking as a casual hobby, though he’s still an amateur and doesn’t know how to make much. (implied canon)

-Once joined every school club because he had an anxiety attack and couldn’t decide what to pick

-Habitual nail chewer, again something he usually does due to stress. Nails are very short and stubby because of this

-Bandages on his fingers due to burns, skin picking, and nail biting

-Chronic ice-chewer

-Never learns to tie his shoes. Kept tripping over his laces before finally taking them out. Untied laces to laceless shoes to crocs to socks with sandals to velcro shoes pipeline

-Also never learns to drive, too much stress. Forever in his passenger princess era ✨

-Lowkey a backseat driver, though not in a “know it all” type of way. He mostly just freaks out the entire time.

-Can not sleep in the car because he’s afraid the second he closes his eyes, they’ll crash.

-Doesn’t know much slang/internet lingo and has absolutely no idea what his peers are talking about half the time (pretends he does and usually just ends up looking stupid 😔)

-Has a fear of rubberhose cartoons, as well as those weird old stop motion Christmas movies (he just finds them unsettling)

-Told about the secret family recipe as a teenager by his father, and is reasonably freaked out about it. Is forced to keep his mouth shut about it and suffers through major withdrawals before his parents are eventually exposed and arrested for the distribution of meth/counts of child abuse. Spends most of his high school years in therapy and rehab, though it’s all made easier with Craig by his side

-He and Craig try breaking up their freshman year of high school, both of them feeling like they need to try new things for a bit. It lasts about a week before they get back together.

-TERRIFIED of scissors and refuses to let anyone come near him with them. Grows his hair out long as a teenager before finally caving in and shaving it off as a young adult. He now keeps it managed, but Craig is the only person he trusts to do so.

-Did once try to cut his own hair in middle school though, and he spent weeks looking like a train-wreck before finally letting his mom fix it.

-His relationship with his mom is considerably better than his relationship with his father, and though he never quite forgives her for what she’s done, the two of them are able to reach some sort of closure with each other in Tweek’s older age

[talkethtothehandeth]

As much as I agree that people who have EDS shouldn’t talk over people who have worse disabilities than us, and as firmly as I believe that disabled people should let other disabled people speak about their struggles without comparing it to EDS, I need you to know that having EDS, especially my type— the one you find more often than other types, is not just “being bendy”.

I was diagnosed with EDS when I was a baby. I was very lucky, and was able to receive treatment (whether good or bad) quicker than others. However, EDS caused my hip dysplasia, it caused the condition that affected my mobility to the point where I needed three corrective hip surgeries; it was the cause of my bone not forming, I needed a bone donor to aid in correction. I have three long scars on my bikini line where Dr Caroll (from Shriner’s in Utah) cut into me in order to give me a better chance of having less limited mobility.

EDS isn’t just me being able to play bendy straw with my hands, it isn’t just me having to deal with “fake dislocations, it’s subluxations so it’s not that bad”. It caused my scoliosis, it caused my arthritis from my joints going out of place so often. I was diagnosed with osteoarthritis as a child, but as I got older, my arthritis spread to more places. I have burning nerve pain that makes me want to die, I have partial paralysis whenever my body decides to attack me spontaneously, I have dystonia, I have hearing loss, allergic reactions, and pain in every joint in my entire body. From head to toe, all of my joints, all of my muscles.

EDS is something that has severely impacted and negatively effected my entire body. It took everything from me, it took my already limited mobility, it took my peace, it took my mental health, it took my most beloved hobby ever— riding horses. I cannot sit to play piano, use my hands for my guitar, sit in a chair for more than 30 minutes without my back muscles screaming.

I took 14 pills every single day with multiple prescriptions because of what EDS has caused. I am undiagnosed with something that nearly killed me last year, everyone was preparing for me to die, and it has been dismissed by anxiety or an eating disorder, it is caused by my disease. EDS will affect me for the rest of my life.

EDS isn’t “just” being hyper mobile. This isn’t just a small disease that people go through, it is life altering and life compromising and life threatening from all of the comorbidities that come along with it; it is debilitating, it is isolating, it is pain that cannot be treated with even IV morphine, it is a constant, unrelenting acid rain condition just as many other physical disabilities.

People who have EDS shouldn’t try to play the Sick Olympics, we shouldn’t go to someone’s page and say “I’M JUST AS SICK AND DISABLED AS YOU ARE”. We should take the time to listen to people who have it worse, because so often they get ignored by abled people, they don’t need other disabled people to say that their conditions aren’t worse just because we have it bad. So many people are definitely more disabled than I am, and that absolutely does not erase my struggles.

Every physical disability affects the body in different ways, and every physical disability isn’t necessarily comparable to others. My degenerative arthritis isn’t the same as someone’s ankylosing spondylitis. My joints are fucked and my mobility has been significantly decreased as my disease has progressed. I am not going to compare my knees that will need to be replaced to someone whose spine is literally fusing together. Even though it’s a form of arthritis, it isn’t the same as mine and it isn’t my place to pretend it is.

But someone saying “it’s just hyper mobility” is perpetuating a harmful narrative, because people already don’t believe us, our stuff doesn’t show in labs and it only shows during further and extensive testing that many doctors don’t want to pursue because we’re “faking” or “being over dramatic”, because it isn’t “that bad”, it’s just bendy joints, it’s not debilitating./s It isn’t just being bendy, it is so much more and doesn’t need to be dismissed solely because it isn’t the same or as severe as someone else’s condition. Even if someone does have it worse, it doesn’t mean that EDS isn’t bad, and just because someone has EDS, it doesn’t mean it’s always comparable and needs to be shouted to the world on people’s posts about a completely different situation.

[just-a-carrot]

since it’s halloween time and they’re midwest mfers, do you think they ever went to one of those big corn mazes when they were kids? like post-arc 5 versions of them bc I think that’s the only timeline they’d ever go to a corn maze together when they were younger lmao

like genzou’s mom drove them all there and she’s just waiting at the end of the corn field at the exit, talking with the other parents also waiting for their kids, not knowing those damn kids she brought are going through a fucking Expedition right now like they’re scaling the rockies.

Gidget is the ONLY FUCKING ONE actually trying to get out correctly and actually taking the time to memorize directions, signs, etc.

Too bad nobody is listening to them 😭😭😭

Bucks is like “WHY CAN’T WE JUST GO THROUGH THE CORN IT’S EASIER AND WE’LL GET OUT FASTER”

“because Bucks, it’s against the rules and we’ll get in trouble. Plus it ruins the fun.”

“I WANNA EAT THE CORN.”

“Bucks, this is the reason you’re on a child leash right now.” says Gidget, holding said child leash.

Genzou pipes up from behind them. “I wanna see her eat the corn!”

Gidget scowls. “Shut up, Genzou. I do NOT need your input right now.”

Like Gidget is STRESSING. Bags under their eyes. Looking old and disheveled at 10 years old. Orlam 100% grumbles a snarky ass “Finally someone said it-“ in response to that which Genzou snaps at him and asks him who the fuck he thinks he’s talking to.

Orlam shoots back Yet Another Snarky Ass Comment and now they’re Bitching Yet Again.

Iggy starts crying because he’s scared of all the big stalks and now Genzou and Orlam are crying and it is NOT!!!!!!!!!! helping his undiagnosed anxiety disorder that he should NOT have at that age. Poor baby’s at his limit. Plus, he was clinging to Genzou’s shirt the whole time (which Genzou did. Not Stop Him From Doing…For Some Reason)(we know the reason) but since Genzou starting beefing with Orlam he can’t anymore so his metaphorical Security Blanket is gone.

It’s been 30 days (20 minutes) since they entered that corn maze, and they’ve started to fall to madness (not cooperate). Their food supply is gone, they’re starving (they had dinner before coming less than an hour ago)…they may not make it. (They make it).

Literally every argument is resolved immediately after bc they get candy apples after and now all debts have been paid (Genzou can’t fight with Orlam anymore bc his mom is there and he doesn’t wanna get in trouble :/)

i felt compelled to draw this lol

but fr this was so much fun to read, i love this idea!! and all their dynamics and interactions made me laugh so much. also i feel like they would definitely wear those silly shirts that turn colors in the sun HAHAHA

they could go on so many adventures...

[itsacautionarytale]

Random Mean Girls headcanons im unrelenting about [bway musical & movie musical]

• Karen, very platonically, calls Gretchen “honey”, “sweetie” and “baby”, because she knows that’s what people who love each other call each other. Again, it’s so platonic, but Gretchen reciprocates it.

• Janis’ favourite food is burgers and she loves everything on it - as much sauce and salad as possible.

• Cady is autistic.

• Also Cady hates buffets and this was found out because Janis’ and Damian decided it would be a good idea to help her acclimatise to American food. Cady had a meltdown.

• Gretchen has severe but extremely high functioning anxiety. [This is practically canon lmao]

• Gretchen has notes folders on her phone with everyone’s details. She knows your medical history, darkest secrets, favourite food etc.

• Karen is so sensory seeking. She has no idea about her limits because her introception is terrible. She loves crunchy foods and at parties, drinks far too much because she doesn’t realise it’s too much until it’s too much.

• Regina has a terrible relationship with her mum.

• Aaron is very traumatised by his time with Regina and is so shocked when Cady doesn’t display the behaviours that Regina did.

• Betsy Heron has a special interest in parenting and, post spring-fling, her house becomes The safe space for Cady and her friends. [Betsy is autistic too]

• Damian fucking loves pizza. Easily eats a large pizza himself. Favourite food.

• Cady adores chicken wings. Janis tells her she’ll hate them because they’re so messy, but Cady adores them.

• Cady is straight, Janis is a lesbian, Damian is gay, Regina is an extremely closeted lesbian, Karen is pan, Gretchen is unlabelled, and Aaron is straight. [Damian is also trans].

• Karen has dyslexia and several other undiagnosed learning disabilities / neurodivergencies.

• Cady hates the taste and feeling of alcohol. Still drinks at every single party though.

I know ive focused on some characters more, but these are just the headcanons that I’m so about. The hcs that are my definite, if that makes sense. Feel free to send asks and ask more about different hcs!!! I have so many thoughts

[sigyn-foxyposts]

"My versions of the Cawthon family" Fnaf affinity AU! (Outdated & Old‼)

‼️Not based on the creator of FNAF‼️

Note: Mobox sold some of the characters I've included and I'll be crediting them.

Owner credit: @sunny-paw Maggie (renamed Maria)

Owner credit: @aftonsocks Thomas

Since this family was my favorite, I couldn't resist the urge to write about my versions of them. Most of what this is either made up or used to be cannon to Mobox87's original and older AU! I hope you like it! :3

Name: Scott Cawthon.

Nickname: Scotty

Nationality: British (Moved to America)

Scott is very clumsy and skittish.

Has always struggled mentally, thanks to his childhood being quite rough.

Has undiagnosed ADHD.

Likes to keep things organized.

Hates when someone is disobedient.

Suffers from insomnia.

He has a high pain tolerance and often gets injured, hence the many bandages he is wearing. Maggie puts them on.

Feels horrible for not being able to realize that Vincent was guilty for his children & many's deaths.

Scott is phone guy and tape guy!

Scott didn't actually die after the animatronics attacked and stuffed him into a suit, he was just severely injured.

Despite being in pain, he managed to stay alive until someone found him. After that incident he decided to retire.

He commits suicide, suffocating during the fnaf 6 fire together with Michael.

Scott is a hard working man that love's his family more than anything, but struggles to keep the stability going. Not only does he specialize with dangerous animatronics at work along side his brother Vincent, who creates questionable design choices for their creations. He has always struggled mentally and because of the lack of sleep he is getting, he gets injured and problems often arise at home. He tries to be a better husband to Maggie and father to his sons..but has to admit he is far from perfect. He retired from Fazbear entertainment after the tragedies and focused on his remaining family, returning during fnaf 6 to aid Michael and decided he would commit suicide with them.

Name: Margaret Cawthon.

Nickname: Maggie.

Maiden name: Fritz.

Nationality: Norwegian.

She is a natural redhead.

Has dyed her hair dark and cut it multiple times through her life.

She went to medical school and worked as a nurse for a few years.

She retired early and became a stay at home mom when she got pregnant.

Has a slight drinking problem and hates how addicted she is to it.

She suffers from compassion fatigue.

Developed depression and erratic behavior after the disappearances.

Feels guilty for Thomas's death because she was drinking that night and asked Scott to get him. (He was working late)

After Scott died in the fire, she went back to her drinking habits and died from liver failure. (Basically suicide)

Margaret Cawthon is a stay at home mother who often finds herself stressed over not just her sons, but also her husband. Thanks to his recklessness at work and his horrible sleep schedules, along with his mental health. Maggie and Scott tend to argue a lot about his well being and over how they should manage things in their household, which often ends up going nowhere. This caused her to pick up a small drinking habit that she tries her best to hide from everyone, especially her children. After the missing children's incident she went completely off the rails and had to be sent away to the mental hospital by Scott. She really struggled, especially with the guilt of not being able to protect her kids. Eventually she would be able to return back to Scott and their remaining son, raising him.

Name: Thomas Fritz Cawthon.

Nickname: Tom.

Age: 13 (When he died)

Struggles with anxiety.

His favorite animatronic is puppet.

He really likes collecting porcelain dolls.

Enjoys listening to the music box because it was a lullaby his parents used to comfort him with as a baby.

Thomas is left handed!

The lefty animatronic was based on a stuffed teddy bear he owned.

Later Scott recreated Lefty as a animatronic to capture Thomas.

Like Scott he is also clumsy and skittish.

He is very pale and easily gets bruised.

To avoid people assuming bad things about his home life, he wears make-up, long sleeves and pants.

He originally wore make-up to just hide his bruises but started to enjoy it!

Scott and Maggie find this adorable and often she helps him experiment around with her make-up stash!

Even though he keeps calm under stressful situations, when conflicts arises his anxiety skyrockets.

He knows Maggie has a drinking problem but hasn't said that he knows.

He hates when his parents argue because of how Bart got injured once.

His favorite cousin is Chris, who he heavily sympathizes with!

Vincent stabbed Thomas multiple times out of drunken rage, leaving him outside to bleed out slowly in the rain.

Thomas is the oldest son and takes a lot after both his parents. He is quite gloomy, clumsy and introverted but a passionate caretaker like Maggie. He is very protective of his siblings and the missing children after he is killed by Vincent outside of the pizzeria. The reason he died was because he was waiting for Scott to finish working after Maggie forgot to pick him up. At first he blamed both his parents for his death, but stopped holding a grudge against them when he realized Scott and Michael tried to free them behind the scenes.

Name: Bartholomew Fritz Cawthon.

Nickname: Bart.

Age: 8 (When he died)

Has ADHD.

His favorite animal is the fox, hence why he loves and adores foxy.

He has an obsession with pirates and pretends to be one all the time!

His favorite holiday is Halloween.

He likes to tease and be the annoying younger brother towards Thomas.

Sings those kids nursery rhymes 24/7.

Hates loud shouting and glass breaking after he was accidentally hit during an argument between Scott and Maggie.

His favorite cousin is Brandy because she likes playing pirates with him!

Vincent lured Bart to parts and service, breaking his kneecaps, cutting of his hand and slicing his throat. It was so deep he pretty much decapitated him.

Bartholomew also known as Bart for short, is the second oldest son. He is hyperactive and outgoing to the fullest, insisting he is the leader of any group he comes across, siblings or friendships. You'll often see him wearing pirate gears and singing songs, dragging around his younger brother who happily follows. Bart always unintentionally gets himself into trouble, even if it isn't his fault and while he loves his father.. Hates being punished by him. After he was killed by his own uncle Vincent, like the other missing children he can't trust adults and is very aggressive. Even to his own father Scott, when he figured out he possessed Foxy and tried to communicate with him.

Name: Matthew Fritz Cawthon

Nickname: Matt.

Age: 3 (in 1984)

He is somewhere on the autism spec.

His favorite animatronic is balloon boy.

Balloon boy was inspired by Matthew's younger appearance and made by Scott.

He has a huge sweetooth and will try to steal sweets when no one is watching!

He loves to celebrate and attend parties because it's exciting to him!

While he doesn't look like the type, he thrives in others happiness.

Which he sadly didn't get at home often!

His favorite hobby is arts and crafts and he actually helped decorate the pizzeria along with other children.

His favorite cousin is Elizabeth because she offered him ice cream once.

Matthew Is the youngest son and the only surviving family member of the Afton and Cawthon family after Michael. As a child he was a bubbly boy filled with laughter, often finding himself following others around rather than leading the way like his older brother Bart. He was very young when his brothers disappeared and when he got older he struggled remembering them. When Maggie was sent away to the mental hospital, Scott retired to take care of him and was finally able to improve his parental skills. When Matthew became an adult he started working under Fazbear entertainment despite the history it held.

[emaanemaa]

i love you, i’m sorry | SAR au

☆ cole and kirby are away for preseason, and y/n has an unexpected anxiety attack

☆ note -> im projecting, had an anxiety attack so i wrote about it. thought, hey i could use this for content, so i did. if you struggle with this, you’re not alone, you are seen, i love you all, we will get through it <3

☆ warning -> undiagnosed anxiety, lowkey angsty, comfort kinda ? be advised <3

never seeking proper care for her anxiety was the worst mistake y/n ever made. it came and went for a few months, and she believed it was a small issue that would eventually resolve itself. that was until she was sobbing and shaking uncontrollably in bed while cole, and kirby were away for one of their preseason games, and all she could do was hope and pray they would answer her calls.

the phone line rang continuously, each time the call went to voicemail she dialed one of their numbers again, desperate to reach them.

"please pick up, please."

y/n had never felt so hopeless in her life, no one was coming to her rescue this time as sobs racked through her body, screaming at the universe to give her just a minute with one of her boys.

the last call went to voicemail, causing y/n to break down and throw her phone across the room, letting it hit the floor, not caring if it had been broken. her body slumped over on the bed, shoving her face into the covers that still smelled like her boys, crying, and babbling about her unfair life.

"why is this happening to me? please just pick up the phone damn it!"

the anxiety attacks never had a cause, or reason, only rarely happening on a late night, when y/n was desperate for sleep. most of the time it was normal, a little bit of nerves when in crowds, or having to speak infront of a group of people, but this was entirely different. she felt like her life was falling apart, and she had no meaning to life. her heart was pounding, her head throbbing, her tears spilling out with no sign of stopping, she was hopeless.

that was until her phone rang, making her jump. and crawl off of the bed to find her discarded phone. it was lit up with cole's name, making her heart swell and more tears to run down her face. she quickly swiped to answer, putting the phone up to her ear.

"cole, baby, please talk to me."

her voice was hoarse, and every few seconds she would sniffle, causing her to wipe her nose with her sleeve, which just so happened to belong to one of kirby's hoodies.

y/n's anxiety wasn't news to the boys. she had casually told them about her issues with it when they first got together and they promised to always help her out when they could because they didn't want to see their girl struggling, but it was difficult, for obvious reasons.

cole understood immediately what she needed, putting her on speaker and setting his phone on the desk in their hotel room, signaling kirby to come closer and join.

"y/n, you're ok, you're safe, we love you. don't worry your pretty little head about anything ok? kirby and i are almost home, just a few more hours and we will be right there with you, i promise. there's nothing to be afraid of, your mind is playing tricks on you, trying to hold you back, ok? you tell those voices and your heart that you are stronger than that, and you won't let them control you any longer."

y/n continued to cry, listening to cole speak to her, trying to remember his instructions, letting herself envision she was there with them, and he was holding her through his speech. she could hear the boys whispering; their hushed conversation was cut short when kirby started to speak.

"baby, i know this is hard for you, i wish i could be there and help you through this like we always do, but i need you to be strong, ok? i need you to be our brave girl and fight this as hard as you can. we will stay right here on the phone with you as long as you need, ok? we love you, i love you."

y/n started to nod, telling herself to calm down and breath, it would all be over soon, all she needed was to talk to the boys a little longer and eventually she would forget anything was ever wrong.

she got back on the bed and laid down, pulling the covers over her body, closing her eyes and listening to the boys on the phone before she spoke to them.

"i would like it if you stayed on the phone until i fall asleep. im going to try again, just keeping talking to me or each other and i'll get over it soon. i love you, i’m sorry."

[waiting-room-sekai]

anon from the haruka anxiety ask (https://www.tumblr.com/waiting-room-sekai/760435988047724544/i-think-haruka-has-some-sort-of-undiagnosed) again !! i just wanna say a bit more about this and got scared before sorry,, feel free to not format this normally it is just me rambling..

it's very easy to tell when haruka is having or has had (in about the last two hours) a really bad spike of anxiety. because they're either staring blankly at whatever they were doing a moment ago or they're not speaking at all to anyone unless they're asked something. minori however has the ability to ground them by saying the most random stuff. see: the time she called haruka an air conditioner. (based on something that happened to me)

other than when the anxiety just comes out of no where, haruka found that sudden loud noises (this is about fire alarms mostly) and really large crowds (when they're not on stage) tend to make it worse.

they used to have some bad coping mechanisms but they've "grown out of it" (white knuckling the nearest table / sink / similar object and hoping for the best) and now they repeat that's showbiz baby to themself all the time. because damn it is showbiz.

im so sorry this is just a really big ramble (⁠;⁠ŏ_ŏ⁠)

I totally understand the anxiety, but I assure you that I genuinely want to hear everything people have to say about their faves!

And I also assure you that I love the big ramble, genuinely.

And that sure is showbiz!

[scarabsinthestardust]

Tender // Ch. 4

MASTERLIST

word count: 2200+

CHAPTER WARNINGS: language; mentions of drinking/alcoholism; arguing/one-sided arguments; depression; anxiety; unspecified undiagnosed mental illness; tiny little spoiler for Better in the Morning, but nothing that will be a shock to readers that are caught up on it

The trouble with things going smoothly is that one tends to get complacent. They get comfortable and let their guard down. They make mistakes and people suffer for it, mostly the ones they never wanted to hurt in the first place.

Josh and I have been going strong for the last six months. We’ve not so much as bickered since the first argument. He’s somehow convinced me, on some uncertain level, that maybe I do deserve this happiness. The fear is still there, of course, but Josh has found a way to quell it, and suddenly I don’t feel like I’m drowning. He’s my spark, my ever-burning flame, and I think maybe I might be able to keep it from going out.

I never wanted kids, and that hasn’t changed, but watching Josh light up around them only increases my love for him. It’s no different with his new niece. He’s been fawning over Kya and Jake’s baby nonstop since she was born and has made it his life’s mission to ensure he’s the ‘favorite uncle.’ He talks about her constantly, and I’m surprisingly not put off by his incessant chattering these days. But I suppose all good things must come to an end.

We’re in his kitchen, cleaning up after dinner. Although I still have my own place, I find myself spending most of my time at his house. He’s talking a million miles a minute about his day, and his most recent visit to Kya’s. He tells me practically everything the baby did, which isn’t much considering she’s, well, a baby, but Josh is excited, so I let him have his moment. Then he says something that makes my heart stop.

“Jake said they’re probably gonna go to West Virginia soon to visit… uh, whoever you guys know up there. I thought maybe we could tag along, make it a whole family trip.”

“No. I’m not going to West Virginia.” Bile is rising in my throat at the thought, and I’m infuriated he would even suggest it.

He reaches out to touch my arm. “I mean, I’d be there with you the whole time. I think it’d be-“

“I said no.”

“I want to see where you grew up, and whatever happened out there, we can-“

The last remaining calm in me dissipates, and I snatch my arm from him, slamming my fist on the marble countertop so hard it shoots pain up to my elbow. “Drop it!”

He blinks at me in shock, and I pretend I don’t notice the way he flinches. I’ve never raised my voice like this toward him, but now the dam has broken, and I can’t stop. “Why can’t you ever just fucking leave shit alone?”

“Finn…” His voice is so small and soft that I almost feel bad. Almost.

“Stop. Fucking. Talking. For once in your life shut the fuck up. I don’t understand why you always have to keep pushing and pushing for shit you know nothing about! Maybe no one’s ever told you no, you’re so used to getting everything you want, but it doesn’t fucking work like that. And you don’t even understand one piece of what you’re prying for. So, stop acting like a spoiled fucking brat, and quit digging!”

I know he doesn’t deserve any of what I said, but the damage is already done. His eyes are filling with tears, and he takes a step away from me. His jaw tenses and he nods, refusing to look me in the eyes. “Fine. Okay.” He doesn’t argue, the first indication that I’ve truly hurt him, only turns away and disappears down the hallway.

My heart’s racing, my skin feels like it’s on fire, and I’m squeezing my fist so tightly my nails are digging into my palm. The house is too small; the walls might be closing in on me. I don’t hear anything, and Josh doesn’t come back out. I should go apologize, but it seems like such a daunting task that will only result in more confrontation, and will inevitably lead me to hurt him more. That’s the last thing I want to do, so I grab my keys, slam the door on the way out, get in my car, and drive.

I don’t have a destination, I just need to get away. It’s already dark; the bright oncoming headlights in the opposite lane make my eyes water. Or is it the guilt and anxiety? I very much wish I could go back and do things differently. Maybe it’s not too late to salvage my relationship with him, but I can’t return to him like this, when my mind is still mottled with rage. I don’t trust what I might do. Instead, I’ll do what I do best – run.

~

JOSHUA

When Josh told his twin he was coming over, Jake wasn’t expecting to find him with bloodshot eyes and splotchy, tear-stained cheeks. “Shit, what’s wrong?” Jake ushered him inside and directed his attention to Josh, concern painting his features.

“Finn and I got into a fight. And he didn’t come home. It’s been 24 hours. His phone’s going straight to voicemail. I checked his place, and I don’t think he’s been there either. What if something happened to him? What if-“

“Josh, calm down. I’m sure he’s fine.” Jake coaxed his brother to sit down on the couch. He gently reminded Josh to keep his voice down, so he doesn’t wake the baby. “Did he say anything before he left?”

“No. No, we argued… he was so pissed off so I tried to give him some space and he just left.” Josh didn’t want to elaborate on the details; he knew how Jake would react to Finn being the primary aggressor, and he didn’t want to make his boyfriend out to be the bad guy. He blamed himself for it anyways. “I don’t know what to do. I’m worried about him. And I checked the weather, there’s another storm coming through. What if he gets stuck out in it somewhere?”

Jake shook his head. “What are you talking about? He’s not a fucking dog, Josh. It’s just rain. He’ll figure it out.”

“No, he’s right to be worried.” Kya’s voice came from behind them; they didn’t hear her come around the corner until she spoke. “He’s always been terrified of storms. I don’t know why. He used to hide in the closet when we were kids, until it passed. But that also means he watches the weather like a hawk. I’m sure he’s found somewhere safe to hunker down until it passes.”

“Is this normal for him, to just disappear?” Josh’s eyes pleaded with her for some kind of reassurance.

Kya shrugged sadly. “He’s always been a little ghost-y, I guess. But I didn’t think he would just drop off without telling you. What… was it that bad of a fight?”

Josh swallowed as he fought back tears. “It… no, it was stupid. And I’m the one that upset him. I started it.”

Kya watched him carefully; there was something he wasn’t telling them. But she didn’t call him out on it. She figured if it was something serious, he would have said something. “He’ll come around,” she said. “He doesn’t handle confrontation well. I’m sure he just needs some time to cool off and clear his head. He’ll come back.” She didn’t let on that she was suddenly doubting her own words.

When Josh eventually returned home, dejected and depressed, he curled up on the couch under a soft throw blanket. He held his phone close and made sure the volume was turned up in case Finn did call him back. He wanted to stay up, wanted to wait just a little longer, but exhaustion won out and he soon drifted to sleep.

~

It’s barely dawn by the time I make it back to Josh’s house. His car is here. He’s probably asleep, which makes me falter. I don’t want to wake him up, but I know the longer I stay away, the harder it will be. I’ve rehearsed a hundred different conversations in my head, like memorizing a script that will change based on how Josh responds to each line. I’m honestly quite terrified. I considered just staying gone, but I know Josh well enough to know that kind of uncertainty would only hurt him more. If I’ve lost him, at least we’ll both know it.

I ring the doorbell. I know where he keeps the spare key, but I don’t feel like I’ve earned the right to use it. I don’t realize I’m holding my breath as I wait for a response. I’m surprised at how quickly he comes to the door, and I’m even more shocked when he throws his arms around me so hard I almost stumble backwards.

“Where the hell have you been? I was so worried about you. I thought… I thought something happened to you.”

He was worried? About me? I coax him inside so I can shut the door. I’m not keen on providing intel on our private lives to the neighbors. He sniffs and rubs his eyes with the back of his hand. When I finally get a good look at his face, my chest aches. He hasn’t slept; he looks exhausted. I know he’s been crying, and I hate that it’s my fault.

He allows me to lead him to the couch, but instead of sitting with him, I kneel on the floor in front of him. “I’m so sorry.” It seems like a good place to start. “I’m sorry for how I treated you. You didn’t deserve that, Josh. I lost my cool, that’s all on me. And… I understand if you want me to leave, if you don’t want this anymore.”

“Where did you go?” he asks quietly.

“Uh, Wichita.”

“Kansas? What the hell is in Kansas? Or… who?”

I’m mildly taken aback at the implication, but if the roles were reversed, I’d be thinking the same thing. “I promise you, it’s nothing like that. I didn’t plan to go to Wichita, I just ended up there. I…” I hesitate to tell him the whole truth. Hiding it is easier, and he may not ever forgive me. But maybe he’ll pity me instead, and that’s almost worse. “I messed up, though.” I pull my AA chip from my pocket and place it in his hand, careful to avoid his eyes. “I’m sorry. I know you’re probably disappointed in me. I found a meeting before I came back, but if you don’t want-“

“I don’t want you to leave.” He looks at the chip in his palm before holding it back out to me. “This doesn’t define you, Finn. You’re allowed to make mistakes.”

Mistakes get people killed. “You deserve better,” I admit. I’m giving him an out, an escape route, and the small piece of me that is still decent wants him to take it. I slip the chip back into my pocket, although it feels dirty now, contaminated somehow.

He’s staring down at the carpet, and I can see the wheels turning. “You weren’t drunk, though.”

“I got drunk. I went to a bar, and-“

“No, I mean before you left. You weren’t drunk when you screamed at me.”

“No,” I whisper. “I… I can’t go back there, Josh. You trying to convince me to, it… it triggered something in me, I guess. I can’t stand feeling like I don’t have a choice.”

“I didn’t mean to upset you.”

“I know you didn’t. I’m working on it, though. And I know it’s a lot to ask, but I promise if you give me another chance, I’ll do better. It won’t happen again.”

He stays quiet for a moment, sniffling as he considers my words. I’m still not confident that he’ll forgive me, and I brace myself for the worst. But instead, he leans forward, resting his arms on my shoulders and pulling me to him. “I’m sorry. Just please don’t leave. Let me help you,” he practically begs.

I give into his pleas, and we stay like this until he asks me to come to bed with him. “Will you just lay with me?” I hold him then, neither of us saying a word. His fingers absentmindedly trace my skin, just under the hem of my shirt. They trail along the small scar just above my right hip and I tense up involuntarily. The little patch of marred flesh is just a reminder, another in a long line of stories I will never tell him. He’s learned to quit asking about it, now.

I don’t think I really sleep. Josh eventually drifts off and I’m left alone. I don’t want to admit it, but my gut is telling me this is wrong. Something in me is screaming to get away from here, from him. Except it’s not because I’m in any kind of danger. It’s because I know he is. No matter how many promises I make, how many times he forgives me for the things I’ve done, or how much he pleads for me to stay with him, I will inevitably hurt him over and over again. There is no doubt in my mind that everything he’s tried to build in himself, I will bring it all crashing to the ground. I do love him, more than I’ve loved anyone this way. Some say if you love something, you need to let it go. But my love for him, and my own selfishness, is why I know I never will. I’ll hold onto him for as long as I can, even if all I do is drag him down with me to the pits of wherever the hell I end up.

///

@hollyco @fleetingjake @musicislove3389 @hailthegodsong @josh-iamyour-mama @katuschka

TAGLIST

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[hana-bobo-finch]

Yknow what it’s time to be completely honest. It’s hot take time. I hate Russ so much. He’s the worst rescue corps member and when I’m not forgetting he exists he makes me so mad. He’s such an overcontrolling prick but it’s not like how dingo’s a prick (like with dingo it’s very obvious he’s meant to be annoying and condescending, it clearly stems from insecurity, he still obviously cares about other people and most of the time he’s just putting up a cool guy facade). Yonny’s eheheheh is like music to my ears even though it’s just text on a screen but Russ’s stupid little KEE HEE is like nails on a chalkboard. All he ever talks about is his inventions and how you should totally get them and blah blah blah. And he’s always like “efficiency this efficiency that I’m busy what do you want” shut up bro!!! Please!!! He’s a nepo baby and I want to smack him every time I see him. His family is what you’d expect from a bunch of rich freaks (shepherd mentioned that they randomly threw a goodbye party for Russ and made her hold their coats at the door??). The fact that people think Collin is annoying or dingo is rude or yonny is uncaring or etc etc etc when Russ is RIGHT THERE is so infuriating, he is all of those traits wrapped up into a hideous little creature. People say that the rescue corps don’t have much personality which is true to an extent, i don’t fully agree but nonetheless Russ is the most cardboard cutout of all cardboard cutouts. Where is the personality?? Yonny’s a sweetheart who’s maybe a lil bit crazy but it’s for a good cause, dingo’s just a whole mess of undiagnosed anxiety and chronic-gym-bro personality, bernard has that whole history with santi and he talks like THIS, I don’t need to defend shepherd because if you just talk with her on base or read her logs you know she has personality, Collin is such a caring lil guy who’s constantly tired and did a bunch of weird jobs to pay for college, then there’s Russ the nepo baby who I want to slap. I guess he does have a bit of a personality but every aspect of it is annoying. Idc how many people disagree I am speaking my truth. I would hug every rescue corps member except for Russ. I would slap his stupid bald head