#two is too many but thats just my opinion
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universal healthcare is not broken and anyone trying to convince you it is is delusional and a dckrider for big health insurance. yes there are wait times but waiting for care is Not the same as being denied care.
in america your physician prescribes care and an insurer can still cuck you out of it because someone across the continent who has never met you can say: doesn’t seem medically necessary. Leaving you to handle a bill that is wildly inflated by the same insurers that just denied you.
let me drill it through your head you can pay thousands a year in premiums and still end up sick and financially burdened for years by One incident. no insurance company is Avoiding going broke by denying claims. theyre doing it to profit off your misfortune and your illness. Because healthcare fundamentally does not cost the amount that they claim it to be.
#delete later#out of pocket rant#i hate these god awful takes on universal health care#and i hate this oh he killed a father#how many fathers do you think uhc let die be real with me#oh 8 billion is only 6% profit margin#bitch it could be 2 percent it could be a negative loss#this is me saying oh i resold a shoe for $60 after buying it for $50 when i also made it for 80 cents#i have been denied things like chest xrays and lung exams#i btw have had a chronic cough for 4+ years#in canada i got this done on the same fking day and results back within a month#there are indeed horror stories and on both sides of know ppl who died due to delayed diagnosis#and ppl who died bc they didnt even want the diagnosis it would have cost them too much#but robbing someone of the choice in my opinion is the worse of the two#putting someone in an impossible position like that is evil#this country love god so much better start praying u stay healthy bc thats the most important thing#also like those horror stories of wait times in the er#im gonna be real if u have severe stomach pain are actively bleeding heart attack or stroke#you will be seen asap#yes if unfortunately everyone around u that day decided to have a stroke or heart attack ur appendicitis will be punted down the line#this is a resource issue NOT a cost issue#this is a they also cut funding to nursing school and limited the number of ppl who can pursue medical degrees issue#not a we dont have privatized health care issue#bc ultimately u need a doctor to see u#not someones sister who is taking stabs at it#and every doctor is bound by the concept of time???#u still have to wait in america ur Charged for it also#and yall it doesn’t even have to be a Big incident#ur local urgent care might just be closed after 8pm and at 9pm u need stitches#or have severe stomach pains and just want it checked
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Since ONE person asked heres an unquantifiable portion of everything that I found during my fall down the rabbit hole:
Paul G Raymond Channel: https://youtu.be/N3DwWLfloYI?si=2-LLKvBX7CzPIcJo Both Luke and AJ are in this I fucking love the awkwardness mixed with the wholesomeness pls do go check out his other shorts too Paul is great
In Cahoots: https://www.youtube.com/@InCahootsComedy Luke and Paul's old comedy duo channel Civilized People is sooo good and both AJ and Luke are in it, theres also another skit with Luke called How to spot a terrorist Rosie Holt who has featured in some SFTH shows also shows up in a video! Agent Ironneck: https://www.lbbonline.com/work/81627 Tom stars in this one. I love it so much idek what was going on but I love it Two Actors: https://www.youtube.com/@twoactors1683 SUPER old channel by AJ and one Jamie Seymour AJ is in most of them and Tom also shows up in a few vids Camping with Greg https://youtu.be/SSl18E1a9g0?si=PnOVrQPMEFaofVQ1 the best one in my humblest of opinions @8:58 https://youtu.be/c4d6JscbDXU?si=lCi5Da3SCaIB12uD Luke and Paul doing a lil improv scene
The Educatoror: https://youtu.be/_jKtJw6sX4Q?si=6h6vsDgZqe5Sa-2r Luke shows up in episode 2 ngl I didn't watch the rest 😭 but as former tech class assistant I can confirm he got the role down In Cahoots on BBC Asian Network: https://youtu.be/y3QvluaHLrA?si=6uzd7LIcjyZGY5lD https://youtu.be/CaHjUaD71SY?si=JIk-QO0PcKK34pCZ Some More In Cahoots: https://youtu.be/dUoN3Z_cUqM?si=pfXtNAA1EPc0SAV4 Sketchtopia: https://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/b09yvksy The Monster: https://youtu.be/YsiFLYQopcU?si=a1D309KGZGoMaq8_ Luke (and Paul!) show up in the middle but I wld reccomend watching it through its a super well made little film
Support Acts: https://www.youtube.com/@supportacts4497 Three episode lil show starring Luke (and Paul! and Rosie Holt!) shame none of the vids seem to have many views cause I loved them
Black and White Bushido: https://youtu.be/H2q4j6T0y1U?si=QcBuNnNhmjFSHUxR Nintendo ad that Luke is in
The London Traffic Warden: https://youtu.be/k5H_zwOn6cI?si=fp8yJGvGUohqii8R I think Sam is in this??? But I could not point out where Dalstionian: https://www.willwebbful.com/work-1/dalstonian Absolutly beautifuly directed short starring AJ
The Pineapple Friends: https://www.youtube.com/@thepineapplefriends4075 Some improvised sketches AJ shows up in most AJ got some acting chops: https://youtu.be/ubpskHZWTos?si=tiJEs9QJR78BcDNq
AJJJJJJ: https://www.youtube.com/@lofifilm25 Ofcourse AJs amazing short films f r e d (is that how its typed?) is genuinly amazing plssss go check his stuff out its so freaking cool
Theres probably more stuff I mostly included sketch/acting related stuff this spiral mostly started because I had an energy drink for the first time in years and no pressing work to do and I just LOOOOVE the specific style of sketch comedy that In Cahoots and Paul and Luke did cause its the sort of silly shit I make with my own improv group and I just love those vibes. Anyways half this stuff was probably already found by ppl in the discord which I still have yet to join, and this doesnt feature lots of things they acted directed produced or wrote for, but thats all available online so go look for it urself. I also am new to tumblr so I have no clue if this will show up to the person who even asked for the recs so @hellsquills idk is that good???
couldn't sleep and went so deep down the sfth rabbit hole looking into every fucking thing these guys have ever made/been in and finding videos with like <50 views or from over 10 years ago and I can confirm these fellas have always been funny
#sfth#shoot from the hip#energy drinks are the devil spawn#i have the metabolism of a frail victorian child#shapes and colours shapes and colours shapes and shapes and shaps and shps and sps and s
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is three fingers too much?
-@soup-anonn
Yeah
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still dont see how so many people say that dawntrail is poorly written in comparison to other expansions like. what, did you realize you had to learn about a new culture and immediately not care anymore lmao? you've done it before, was this one not white enough for you?
genuinely i think more people should do side quests during msq so idk you can form a heart about the characters you're interacting with if you struggle with that and understand the land better so when impactful shit happens your illiterate ass can actually read and have empathy. theres no excuse for this.
if you can't handle storybuilding and character introductions from the expansion that feels like stormblood and shadowbringers had passionate gay sex that got one of them pregnant and birthed a beautiful daughter they both love and care about then idk what to tell you, maybe youre just lame and can't read. best of luck with that.
#'they dont take as many risks as shadowbringers and endwalker!!' okay one WHAT risk did ENDWALKER take lmao#and two DID YOU PLAY PAST ZORMOR LMAO?????????? HELLO?????????? DID YOU LEAVE TULIYOLLAL??? WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT#like i genuinely think you guys just complain about shit without actually playing the game#god forbid you have to learn about another world#some people heard this was stormblood 2 and immediately gave up caring#oh im sorry you were able to care about literal racist elves in cold france but a refugee? a non white civilization? oh i see#shadowbringers literally set up its societies too they were already in war dawntrail wasnt already#i think people should replay stormblood. it was never a bad expansion and i dont know what people are talking about???#half of the complaints i see for stormblood are racist and the other half werent reading any of the dialogue#'the horrors of war expansion has horrors of war in it i just wanna play on the playground with gay elves'#bitches will literally say they dont understand stormblood or dawntrail and then say yotsuyu was justified zenos is hot and wuk lamat is bad#why play a fantasy game if youre not interested in exploring new worlds#dawntrail takes so many more risks than shadowbringers and endwalker combined and sticks the landing with just about all of them#i think my only problem was how many times theg brought up they arent related by blood. no i can tell lol#some of yall are just haters that cant form their own opinion and are just mindlessly nodding along to somebody#you follow on twitter that was gonna hate DT regardless because zenos didnt come back to life this time#consume new media. go do side quests. touch grass. walk a trail at dawn and perhaps you have appreciation for story building#you guys are pathetic and i wish you the worst <3#dawntrail's twists are on par with shb and stb thats why i call it the love child of stormblood and shadowbringers#ffxiv
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Wait wait I just scrolled by a mutual that reblogged your Godseeker-Comic. Is that an AU? Is there more of this? This is so interesting! I have never seen Godseeker turning to be a part of Void. Mostly just always getting killed by it.
I hope you're doing more with this concept in one way or another because this is a really interesting idea!
ouuu thank you 🥺❤️ its not really an au, its more like my interpretation of a continuation to the embrace the void ending!! :D I think most people are not aware that she canonically doesnt die, and take the ending at face value.... its kind of hard to explain for me since even i am not 100% sure what exactly happens lol but i like to think that theyre perpetually linked or fused together in some weird way. and i feel that this result is pretty intentional from both sides.
Godseeker mentions that they seek gods to "clutch at their greatness and immortality", which i assume that with 'clutch' she means that these traits would be shared with the Godseekers through the "Godly focus" thing. And the knight, besides the fact that it proved its strenght against the local strongest beings, it posesses (via the Void Heart) the void under its will, which is literally said to be an "eternal" force that "denies time", ie immortal.
and this union of sorts would be beneficial for the knight as well, as it can go into Holy Beast mode at just about anytime it wants, which is a really awesome powerup if u ask me. That and also (in my headcanon) it does like her. very much :-)
#hollow knight#the knight hk#godseeker hk#this is also why i made their tag:#symvoidsis#LITERALLY UNION FOR LIFE OF TWO DIFFERENT ORGANISMS!!! BEING OF THE MUTUALISTIC KIND AS ITS BASED ON MUTUAL BENEFIT!!!!#i have soooo many thoughts about them that i really just dont know how to express in drawings#like how she could help on rebuilding hallownest with her ability to build devices out of nothing#her and monomon could be work buddies in this scenario (in this universe it would not have broken the seals btw)#she most definitely knows about leading a whole community out of misery too (land of storms)#and tk as the new monarch (ASSUMING that thats how the king's brand works) would most definitely need that sort of knowledge#as it was raised alone out there on the fucking wastelands it probably doesnt know much about leadership honestly#IDK I JSUT THINK THEY COMPLIMENT EACHOTHER SO WELL I JUST THINK THEYRE NEAT#ITS SUCH AN UNDERRATED DUO IN MY OPINION#'Mostly just always getting killed by it' LIKE FOR FUCKING REALLLLL THOUGH#I ALWAYS JUST SEE HER BEING KILLED OFF IT MAKES ME SO SAD#BEING A GODSEEKER LOVER OVER HERE IS SO HARD#tysm for the ask❤️ btw .i love talking about them hehe
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im curious
#im the latter#i have such a soft spot for annoying bastard characters#also yes therere only the two options#thats all you get#hes like licorice in that sense-#you either hate him or love him#theres no in-between. yall with no opinion dont count shush#i need to sleep but this is more important and interesting#i cant believe i just compared sampo to licorice#he is licorice thooooooo#honkai star rail#sampo#sampo koski#polls#ive seen one poll here so far :// wherere the others cmon do something#idk why ive been sampoposting sm.... hes not even my fav#oh hes a cockroach of a character too isnt he.... one that stays and never dies no matter how many times you think youve killed it#<- i say as someone who lives somewhere without cockroaches
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are we really back to "oh you support (blank)? name ten people who (do/are) that right now or else youre lying for allyship points and everything you have to say should be disregarded". i thought we left that back in like. 2012 misogynist nerdbro culture
#i have seen it on two entirely separate topics lately and its like. hello?????#'if you cant name 10 trans authors off the top of your head you shouldnt be talking about trans issues full stop.#i dont think thats an unreasonable expectation for anyone wanting to engage in rational discourse' how about we all go outside#because like yeah i couldnt name you too many trans authors but given my transgenderismness i think i do in#fact still deserve a seat at the table. and i dont think there should be a prerequisite academic education level to be allowed to talk.#'but you could find them for free-' yes‚ you can‚ but people should still be allowed to a) choose what they read based#off of what interests them and not mildly-to-extremely dense nonfiction writing and still Talk About Their Own Lives And Have#Opinions#shockingly not reading a lot of one specific type of author doesnt prevent a person from having reasonable and valuable opinions#if youre not capable of parsing someones argument because theyre not well-read enough then that just imo means you dont actually understand#the things youve read to be able to give them a synopsis#this isnt school. we're not being graded. there is no required reading and you are perfectly capable of giving people an#explanation on your stances if theyre unfamiliar with them#i had a b) but i dont remember what it was‚ i think it probably was part of what i covered there that i thought was a separate thought#but yeah just like. idk you can just say 'hey i would really recommend reading xyz but to summarize‚ (thing that disproves them)'#it is not . difficult to either Explain yourself or‚ if that is not possible‚ Not be condescending to the person youre not willing to teach#for not knowing#ill stop there bc ive already done that ramble before but. yes#origibberish#edit: ok upon reread i got turned around and switched from addressing the less educated one conveying their arguments#to the more well read one#bc that was the b is i was gonna talk about both#yall get what i mean though just like. split it in half and flip it turnways
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Honestly manga Midvalley and trigun 98 Midvalley are basically two different characters
Yea I wanna punch manga Midvalley constantly, but I also find him interesting & a compelling character. The times I've seen 98 Midvalley he just looks so sleazy lmao it makes me REALLY wanna punch him
Tough choices
#speculation nation#thinking about how i have midvalley with a significant role in my fic#& hes currently the character with the most scenes aside from vash bc of it#i have him based Solely on the manga characterization. bc i like him in the manga actually#but then i see 98 midvalley mostly acting as an accessory to Legato's murder sprees via sax solos#& it's like. where's the Realism? the Grumpiness! the utter hatred of his circumstances & fear of the higher powers?!?!?!#manga Midvalley is FASCINATING to me bc he's just like Wolfwood in a way.#caught between these two insane angels' brotherly dispute & hating EVERY second of it#but while Wolfwood rolls with the situation quite well (in large part bc he ends up aligned with Vash & we all know hes a sweetheart)#Midvalley decides he cant handle this anymore and rebels even though he knows it will crash and burn#better to try to live on his own terms than bow to that fucking angel for one more second#even though he knows it will probably kill him. and then it does.#that's fascinating to me!!!! but 98 midvalley feels so 90s anime villain hdkshfjdn#and i just Cant believe they gave him bitches. Midvalley??? with Women??? oh come on just look at him#that man's the kind of gay that refuses to flirt and then wonders why he doesnt get any action#he thinks he's BETTER than dating apps. and then he privately bemoans how alone he is#that or he just doesnt care about romance or sex at All. i could see that too lmfao#bottom line is. Midvalley does not get bitches. he DOESNT. thats just my humble opinion at least.#wow this turned into a ramble. may or may not be prompted by me writing him again. i just have many thoughts about him#trigun spoilers/
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Wtf is my fascination with this little freak.... Hes just a dude but I'm so intrigued, I'm tired
#miranda talking shit#Its been two years but i still dont understand him so im guessing thats why#Tbf we didnt become closer until a year ago or something so yeah. But since day one i just felt like it was something with him and now im#Frustrated. Hes literally just a dude. Yet my brain find him so fascinating. I know i in general am very interested in people i like#But this guy man... I think it might be because i can understand him and thus cant predict him? My brain does love a mystery.#I mean i had an fairly intense period of 3-6 months where i was super fascinated by fabian. I still kinda am but now i think#I understand how he works over all so i do not feel the intense need to ask him all kinds of things and analyze? Bc now i have an decent#Idea of how he works. Meanwhile this little freak is almost the opposite of me in everything and i just want to study him. I think in a way#He reminds me of myself at least in the way of 'dealing' with mental problems etc. Or rather my past self. So i want to challenge him to do#It differently. I dont think i have an savior conplex or something when it comes to him bc i do basically not... Tell him to change?#I dont think i could change him. So thats not what my fascination comes from... But holy shit i just want to talk with him about everything#Also probably why i like him that he will answer any questions i ask. No topic has been bad or too weird and i appriciate that in others#But nah. Never been this intrested in someone whos this diffrent than me ever. I always need to have something major in common for a strong#Intrest. But here its like... We are both introverts ... And both social actors/pretenders... Otherwise our similarities are pretty small#I really wish i knew exactly why my brain is so intrested in him . I think its my hyperfixation being activated unfortunately.#Technically he have a lot of things/traits i dont like? But still i dont find him annoying or something?#Many things i dont agree or have the same opinion as him on. But i just find it refreshing ? Maybe its bc i basically havent known anyone#Like him. Hes not the type of person i attract or even put my time into i think. That's why ive told him we'd not be friends if we didn't#Meet this way. I would probably not have wanted to talk to him and i cant see him wanting to talk to me. Especially if we met when younger#No way teen Miranda would not go near him iajdjfjskskd id like to discuss this with him but im scared to scare him and scared to learn#Something bad or him not caring for me or something. I know he doesnt care about many things so id not be suprised but#Fuck this guy. I wamt to obsess over a video game instead where there are wikis to read /:
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Halsin nsfw ABC
A/N: uhh i 100% live by helsin being a soft dom in public and a hard dom in private
NB reader so…yeah
* A = Aftercare (what they’re like after sex) ~ He is most defiantly a big aftercare person. Massaging your tender body and kissing any bruises you got. Running a bath and making sure you heal. “Are you okay my heart? Was i too rough?”
* B = Body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s) ~ waist. (Sounds weird ik). But he is a huge waist grabber. It makes it easier for him to manhandle you and keep you in place.
* C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically) ~ He loves seeing his cum on your back or torso.
* D = Dirty secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs) ~ none he choose to share everything with you
* E = Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?) ~ VERY!! Dude has had plenty of partners over the years. He’s a man and he knows what he is doing and what he wants. End of story.
* F = Favorite position (this goes without saying) ~ Missionary. He wants to see your entire body on display as he rams into you.
* G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.) ~ He can crake a joke or two but he’s more serious and paying attention if you’re enjoying yourself or not so he can catch you giving consent or using a safeword to stop
* H = Hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.) ~ It indeed matches. He doesnt like to shave often in other parts thats not his face but he makes sure it doesnt get too crazy down there
* I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect) ~ Very romantic. Every position that is changed you can hear him say “Is this okay?” “Let me know if you dont like this” he is a huge kisser during intimacy
* J = Jack off (masturbation headcanon) ~ He likes to get straight to it with you but when he is alone and thinking about you he would touch himself once in a while.
* K = Kink (one or more of their kinks) ~ Breeding. Even if you cant get preggers. Breeding.
* L = Location (favorite places to do the do) ~ Anywhere. Any time. But mainly in nature where you cant be seen.
* M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going) ~ Just your presence makes him hot and heavy for you.
* N = No (something they wouldn’t do, turn offs) ~ He wont do bondage. He doesn’t want you to tied up, he knows how it feels to not have freedom
* O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.) ~ Hes a big person on giving. He cant have intimacy if he hasnt gone down on you yet.
* P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.) ~ All of the above. Sometimes depends on his mood. He can be rough and hard and other times he can be slow and take in the moment
* Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.) ~ He likes quickies. Knowing that its what you both want and you are satisfied is most important.
* R = Risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.) ~ He a ‘dont knock it till you try it’ type of person
* S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?) ~ He can go multiple rounds. He will go from sun up to sun down if you can last just as long
* T = Toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?) ~ He doesnt own any toys himself nor does he use them. However he is very open to you using a plug.
* U = Unfair (how much they like to tease) ~ Hes a huge tease. he loves rubbing your bottom getting closer and closer to your hole before pulling away and acting like he wasnt doing anything
* V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.) ~ He grubts alot. A moan and here and there. But he loves cursing during intomacy
* W = Wild card (a random headcanon for the character) ~ He wants to go as deep as he can in you. Other than missionary he loves the position ‘Praying Mantis’
* X = X-ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes) ~ He is big and girthy. Hes 7” soft and 7.5” hard and 8” around.
* Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?) ~ Very high. But he holds himself back as long as he can
* Z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards) ~ It takes him a while to fall asleep. He always make sure you are comfortable and okay. About 95% of the time he wants you to fall asleep before he goes.
#bg3#bg3 spoilers#bg3 halsin#halsin#halsin x reader#bg3 smut#baldur's gate iii#baldurs gate tav#baldur's gate 3#baldurs gate#baldurs gate halsin#x reader#reader insert#reader#halsin smut#halsin spoilers#baldurs gate 3 smut#baldurs gate x reader#baldurs gate 3 x halsin smut
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just a sagau genshin abt the newest banner (geo & hydro dragon my love) (the creator is self insert) LOTS OF OOC
a/n : written in rush cuz i randomly think abt this after knewing next phase banner and i hope i got both of them, i was gonna added about how i forgot ayato & childe exist when i planning on which dps from each vision should i pull, but they make no sense so i didnt include it.
"I didnt mean to look down on your choice, Your Grace. But, didnt your cousin says itll be better just to pull me...?"
You look at Zhongli with the most unserious, more like silly face, thinking about hes actually jealous of your choice on pulling for Neuvillette.
While it's true you need his shield and he would be the first Geo 5 star you have, but who wouldnt want a hydro dragon pure water tester PLUS a water machine gun to pew pew those enemies!
And more better? You have an unbuild Furina too!
"But my cousin also says he would comeback to genshin to pull for Nupi!"
If Zhongli able to curse, he will.
when will you also gave him a cute, silly lil nickname to him too?
"But like, Your Grace—"
"Shhsshhh"
You quickly shut him, putting your own finger on his lips, making a small blush creep onto the Geo Archon.
Zhongli can feel the side eye Neuvillette gave him as the Hydro dragon sips on his pure water.
"But, Your—"
Seriously, you never saw this version of him thats cant control his own usual calm demeanor, but the version you see is the impatient and insists that his opinion is the best.
Not like he's wrong though.
You put your own finger on you lips now and did a mewing pose, kinda making those two old dragon sigh.
whats wrong with this generation...
"Zhongli, hear me out. Nupi is a nuke, or else should i say Nukelet? Thats suit you isnt it?"
Neuvillette sighed again, but he didnt hide his chuckle about his Creator giving him more silly nickname.
"Pardon me, Your Grace. While it doesn't matter to me that you call me that, but I'm a dragon, not a nuke. I dont boom myself"
"But youre a boomer."
"Was that supposed to be a joke?"
"No."
Back to Zhongli. Hes still thinking countless reason about why you should pull for him.
I mean, his material is easier to get (even if youre the Creator and couldve just easily get everything you want), his talent is useful (SHIELD??? BIG PILLARS???? THROWING BIG ROCKS TO THE ENEMIES?????), he got many fans (BUT ITLL BE USELESS IF HIS CREATOR DIDNT WANT TO PULL HIM), he got many fanfics (HE KNEW YOU LIKE TO READ THEM AND HE WILL HACK THE TUMBLR TO SHOWS UP MANY FANFICS ABOUT HIM ON YOUR DASHBOARD BUT EXCLUDING THE HURT/NO COMFORT BCS HE KNEW YOU DESPISE THEM)
But then he come to a conclusion, as he clapped his hand.
"Your Grace, if Sir Neuvillette have Furina on your team, what about Xiao?"
Fuck he was right. WHAT ABOUT YOUR XIAO????? HE NEED HIS FATHER FIGURE!!!!
"Youve got a point..." you pose like the trade offer meme.
"So, who should i choose now? is it you, Sir Zhongli, or is it you, Monsieur Neuvillette?"
"Uhm, pardon me but, why dont you just get us?" ask Neuvillette, putting his cup on the table.
"Dont you think itll be better, Your Grace? You get two dragons and you also have their companions on your team."
"Monsieur, i dont have that kind of money. Im still in high school, heck, a boarding school! Even if i have guaranteed now, i dont think i can."
"But our banner started on your holidays..."
"Ok now you got another point"
"So, what you gonna do?"
"I'll take two dragon, please"
Perhaps Zhongli should thank Neuvillette for his suggestion.
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another a/n : i post this cuz im at my home, suffering from another sudden sickness (i keep getting nauseous and vomiting plus a bad fever & headache but idk what causes them can anyone tell me 😭) also i have a tooth extraction scheduled on Monday so yeah... wished my future self a good luck
#achi's#achi's writing#genshin impact fluff#genshin impact x reader#genshin impact imagines#genshin impact#genshin self aware au#genshin impact sagau#sagau#genshin x you#genshin x reader#genshin fanfic#PHASE 5.2 IS SICK#zhongli#zhongli x reader#zhongli x you#neuvillette#neuvilette genshin#neuvillette x reader#neuvillette x you#genshin impact x you
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Getaway car
Red Hearts ❤️ x fem! reader
These two pics 🙌🏻
Like yeah ma'am I'm on my knees. Respectfully
Here's a Red fic for you my lovesss
"Oh c'mon Red! Don't be staring at her with your lover eyes, go and introduce yourelf" Chloe wiggled her eyebrows knowingly at her friend, who was painfully staring holes at the back of a head of a certain someone.
"Fuck you dumb or something?! Not a chance thats happening" The red haired girl glared at the other princess, stabbing her food with her fork, eating peas was not something she particularly enjoyed. Back in Wonderland she would be having something extravagant, different, weird she would even say. But here, just peas and potatoes everyday, not that she would complain, just, she'd love to change up some flavors from time to time.
"Wellll, I'll do it then! I'm sure she's heard about you coming to Auradon. She was the one who requested for villain kids to be studying here, after all!" Before Red could complain further more, her fast friend quickly took off from their table, coming straight at yours. Her blue locks blowing from her speed, she was eager to do what the other had failed so miserably many times.
But could you blame her? She was not shy, certainly not. She did not lack of anything. Talking skills, charisma and her attitude still on board as it has been since she left her home kingdom to come and study at Auradon. But, there was something intimidating in you at the same time drawing her further in the spiraling maze of thoughts and mysteries you could be hiding from her.
She never spoke to you, obviously, you were too popular for her to even approach you, she swore she'd never get involved with people like that. Always with someone, always on the run to be somewhere, to be doing literally anything besides resting. That's also what fascinated her about you, she wanted to know what a princess like you could be doing every second of the day. Making haste to do her duties? Running off to be somewhere calm? To be finally left alone? She wanted to know your every thought and opinion.
It scared her. She had never felt that way about anyone and it was weird to discover feeling like that, although she found it rather amusing to be thinking so much of you. You were not special.
She just liked watching you play your favorite sport on your tournament's. Oh how your eyes lit up when you got a set point, running straight at your teammates cackling them on the ground. And when you took off your shirt after winning every game, yelling profanities of happiness, the way the sweat rolled down your body and how your hair curled from wetness being held in a ponytail with a singular small braid. She was in awe, although she had never let it show.
She liked to observe you when you strutted down the school halls with your best friend, your books tightly grasped in your hands, close to your chest. You were usually clothed in a light blue checkered skirt that made your ass very hard to not look at, also complimenting your big thighs, not that she would look at of course (such a bullshit, she was staring hard) a white loose button-up shirt so simply hanging off your shoulders making your collarbone pop out so finely that even the mightiest of gods would not be ashamed to check you out, and of course some gold accessories to top it all. The most prominent being your bulk gold ring and a heart necklace, gifted to you by Evie Grimhilde.
Her daydreams were cut short by her very blue friend shaking her shoulders.
"Red, are you with us? Oh great!" Chloe grinned as she got her boo to finally listen. "As I've been saying, this is Y/n!"
"Hi, I heard from Charming here that you've been staring at me quite often" You giggled, she was looking rather cute, just sittings there with her clouded stare as she hummed in agreement. Probably not realizing what she did there. "Id love to meet you actually, get to know you a bit maybe a lot. Whatever you're most comfortable with, hearts" you smiled at her as she blushed at the nickname. She liked it when you smiled, it made her smile internally too. "You up for a ride to the enchanted lake later?"
You never really put your mind to get to know her, even though you wanted to meet the new kid, you always thought she might want to acclimatize first. That doesn't necessarily mean you never looked at her, she was really hard to miss, a storm of red locks everywhere you turned. Smudging somethings in her sketchbook or spraying the walls with her black paint. You should probably be informing someone of the vandalism she has committed herself to. But she looked so happy doing so, and you were so immersed in exploring the smallest details of every single one as soon as she left, that you could not. You wanted to appreciate her art.
You wanted to appreciate her.
As you were in the middle of the staring contest with a girl you dreamt of so many times (strange dreams including someone scarily close in beauty to hers that left you amazed after every night) the son of Aurora came and slipped his arms around your waist.
"Hey baby" you kind of grimaced as he kissed you on your cheek "Are you up to a quick run later?"
"Well I kind of got some plans already Aron" you wiggled out of his grasp. "I'm meeting princess Red later" you grinned at the red haired girl
"Her? but why?" he looked at her with a bit of disgust. As we know his family haven't really got a great history with villains. "My grandma says-
"Well, I don't really care what your grammy has to say. I'd like to make a new friend and I've heard Red would like to know me too" You remarked stopping him from saying some cruel shit about Red's family, stepping away from him too.
"Ooh" Was all Red could let out of herself. Were you really with that douchebag? He was nothing like his sister who actually became really close to a certain pirate after a sad encounter. Matter of fact, he despised vk's for simply breathing the same air as him. It was weird for her that someone like you would be with someone like him.
Later in the day you fastened your pace to Red and Chloe's dorm room, you anticipated your meeting with the girl the whole day. It was dragging, especially on your 'history of magic' lessons where the princess of Wonderland, sat 3 tables away from you, looking as pretty as the garden's of babylon, like she was touched by Midas, turning gold with every second, but keeping her rose colored cheeks as tinted as always. Merely breathing as she fell sound asleep, you could not help yourself to snicker under your breath as you took a few photos of her.
You found yourself smiling at the memory, she was cute, she could deny it as much as she want but her bitch face only makes a bad first impression. If you look at her for more than half a minute you would notice how her features soften within time as she melts into her own world, gets lost in her own thoughts. The way her brows furrow when she doesn't understand something. How her once red hair slowly loose their color becoming more and more pink, so she dyes them unevenly leaving some pink strands along the way, making her look so incredibly beautiful. How her long nails tap the same rythym on the table over and over, as she scribbles sharp lines in her sketchbook. Sitting criss-cross under this big tree on the edge of the forest.
You'd love to know her from the inside, as much as you know her from the outside.
In a millisecond of your knock you already see the door opening loudly and a cheerful Chloe standing in the frame.
"Oh my you look so good, you beast!" That made you cringe a little, Chloe had a weird way of placing words together, but nonetheless you loved the little bluey charming. She was like a little sister to you, even though you were just a little bit older than her.
"Hi my lovely! Is Red ready?" Doesn't that seem a bit like you were asking if she was ready for a date? "I-I, was just checking, I came to take her out, I mean, to the lake" Oh craps, you're stuttering, is it bad? It's bad. Fuck now you're panicking, great!
"Chill Y/n, I can almost hear your thoughts" princess charming giggled as you blushed deep shade of red, Red. "She's ready" She moved closer to you putting her hand to her mouth "Been ready since 5" She laughed as the Wonderlandian appeared at the door, yanking her by her collar.
"Thank you Chloe, we're gonna go now" She shut the door at the other girls face, hearing a loud 'Have fun lovebirds!' from behind them "I'm sorry for her. She can be annoying sometimes"
"No worries Red, I know, I've been friends with her since babies" You giggled as the princesses face lit up from the embarrassment, she totally forgot she's the new one in the kingdom.
"So you have a boyfriend?"
"Wow, straight forward i see" You smiled once again as you put your helmet on, doing the exact same with the Wonderlandian. She avoided your gaze looking like a pro. "You know you can look at me, hearts" you flicked her nose and she scrunched it in annoyance.
"So you don't?" She pushed you away, you grinned as you sat on your motorcycle
"Get on princess, I'm gonna take you places you've never been before" She was stunned, frozen in place looking at your extremely hot body leaning over, waiting for her to sit behind you. The phrase coming out of your mouth not helping the growing burning hot feeling inside her. She wanted to touch you.
Wanted it so badly. Was it mad? Probably.
As she sat on the motorcycle you guided her hands to grasp your waist.
"Try not to fall off, babe" Fuck. She was done for.
On the other side, you could not help the tingling feeling her touch left on you, it made your blood boiling, and every vein in your body want to pop out. Your strong grip on the vehicle only tightened when hers tightened on you. You took a deep breath, exhaling slowly as your heart beat rapidly on your chest.
What is she doing with you? You're going mad for her.
Mad.
The ride was slightly more calm, Red explored every single detail of the forest you were so fastly going through, and your eyes remained on the road only cursing yourself as you felt her head gently laying on your back.
"So tell me more about yourself Red" You insisted, as you took a stroll through the bridge leading to the enchanted spot. She swung her hands trying to balance herself.
"Well, I'm from Wonderland, my mom is the famous Queen of hearts. Our kingdom is stric-"
"About yourself silly" You stopped her grabbing ber shoulders from behind. "I want to hear about you, Red" Her name coming out of your mouth sounded different. It was not the harsh tone her mother used to yell her name out with. But it was also not the overly sweet almost apologetic-like tone everyone around her used, when she first come from Wonderland.
It was genuine, soft, like you'd truly want to say her name till the rest of your days.
This sentence took you on a roll of quietly listening to her stories from her childhood, her favorite things, foods, hobbies, and many diffrent informations you would love to know about her. You loved when someone began rambling to you let alone when it was someone you took a particular interest in. She looked so dazzling, stuffing her mouth with ice cream and mini cakes in between telling you how the cheshire cat scared her once so bad she began crying. And he just appeared before her while she was painting roses.
"Do you want to take a swim?" You blurted out, the sun was slowly setting painting the sky the beautiful shade of orange, pink and lavender.
"I kind of don't know how to swim Y/n" she blushed looking away, like it would be the worst of crime.
"It's okay Red, I'm not pressuring you to, but I'll happily give you lessons right here right now" You stripped down to your underwear getting in the water.
Red's eyes wandered all over your body until desire took over her, she wanted you to touch her even if she had to drown for it to happen. But you wouldn't let her would you? She hoped so as she swiftly got up and stripped down her own clothes.
Your mouth agape when you gazed at her.
"Dang, you're hot" You smirked moving your hands in the water, swimming deeper in. She began to get in, but slowly backed out "It's okay love, come, I'll take your hand" you reached out for her. And she tightly grasped it but it didn't take long for her to panic when she couldn't feel the ground beneath her feet.
"No, no, no, no" You swiftly pulled her close to your body, swimming quickly somewhere less deeper then you already were.
"Red, Red. Calm down, wrap yourself around me" you whispered to her ear gently, what made her shiver even more than the water hitting her skin. She did as you requested, tangling her legs around your waist and her arms around your neck. Your warm breath fanning over her collarbone made her heart thump in her chest once again.
She couldn't help but look down in your eyes discovering that you were already looking up at her with yours. She pulled your head closer to her body leaning down. You glanced quickly at her lips not letting yourself loose the beautiful sight of her eyes.
Not stopping yourself you closed the distance between you two, letting your lips touch hers, grabbing her waist in the process, feeling her jump at your sudden bold move.
Her lips tasted like cherries but mixed with blood, you could not quite decipher how. You liked it. Liked it a lot. They were soft, and she kissed you so slowly and carefully feeling like she would scare you away if she was to move any further. Grasping your wet hair in her hands she deepened the kiss after a second. Feeling more comfortable in it now as she felt your hands roam her body.
Kissing her was like a sentence to death, there was something thrilling toit. It was not sweet, sickening and bubble gum to anyone's dismay. She kissed hard and strong, sticking her tongue in your mouth and biting your lips when she felt bold enough.
Your hands creeped down her body resting on her ass as she hummed in content, agreeing on every antic you were about to commit to.
It was exciting, and you loved that feeling.
You finally felt free with her.
Swimming, although you could drown in her.
After you pulled away, with protest. Deep heavy breathing was all that could be heard, immersed in each other's touch. Occasional splashes of water in the background.
Were you moving too fast? Was it the right thing to do? You did not care.
She tasted so good. It was so wrong, but it felt so good to have her all to yourself.
The few breaths you managed to take were cut short when she crushed your lips together once again, as if on cue, knowing exactly what you want.
You would not imagine yourself making out with the princess of Wonderland while swimming in the enchanted lake. But that's what you needed. That was what your heart begged for at the moment,
Your moment of peace.
She was your peace
It felt right. It felt as if you were bound by an invisible string. Meant to be by each other at the exact moment of your lives.
She was your escape
Your getaway car
#descendants#descendants rise of red#descendants 4#descendants rise of red x reader#descendants x reader#descendants 4 x reader#red of wonderland#redcharming#red x fem reader#red hearts#red x reader#red#bridget hearts#chloe charming#fiction
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Apology tour spoilers
I kept putting this off because I pretty much agree with everybody else's takes on this, but I just want to get my opinions out anyways
So right off the bat we get THIS line from Blitzo
wow, gee, i wonder how that must feel like. Oh how i wonder
Anyways Stolas goes on directly to say that he doesn’t want to talk to Blitzo right know.
And you know what, thats vaid. All Stolas is saying in this entire interaction is “It’s too soon and i still mad at you, leave.” And i’m sorry but thats not an unreasonable request, especially after a fight that big. I was actually really impressed with how Stolas voiced his feelings thorough the entire confrontation: “I don't want to do words with you, so how about you respect that” “Seeing you right know is hard” “I don’t want to feel worse than I already do” “Im uncomfortable with how you’re speaking to me” This is textbook definition of healthy language.
And Blitzo for some reason just can’t respect that. Because he’s so dead set on getting things back to the status quo, what’s comfortable and familiar to him: this transactional relationship with no feelings, that he ignore Stolas’s requests blindly.
I saw someone claim that the show was trying to make it seem like Blitzo likes Stolas’s abuse, and I don’t think that’s what’s happening at all. Blitzo loves Stolas, that much is clear. But that doesn’t mean it’s healthy. And sometimes going back to an unhealthy relationship can feel better than without it, because that’s what’s familiar, what’s comfortable. Even if it’s not good for you. Especially for Blitz who already has so many abandonment insecurities. This actually happens a lot in real life and Im glad that HB decided to explore it.
But Stolas doesn’t get off the hook that easily
My dude, WHAT? Listen, Stolas, you are my favorite part of this episode. Nay, this show. But JESUS CHRIST WOULD EVEN AN OUNCE OF SELF AWARENESS KILL YOU???? “Impish little plaything,” “itty itty imp,” “you are so cute when you are serious,” “Blitzy,” none of that ringing a bell? SERIOUSLY??
Ok in all seriousness I think this line really emphasizes that Stolas is completely ignorant to the very prevalent power dynamic between them. He has no idea that all these actions and things he says to Blitzo hurt him. And that doesn’t makes it ok. Listen, Stolas has demonstrated that he’s willing to put in the work to improving himself. Just now I mentioned how his language changed to be more constructive and effective. The Stolas from the pilot and the Stolas in the last few episode are drastically different people. What Stolas needs is his own call-out episode, someone to give him a slap in the face and say “What you did is F’ed up” and for him to APOLOGIZE to Blitzo.
Also my man ate up this entire exchange
I have a bit less to say about the Striker stuff, I honestly don't think t was too relavent to the conversation, it’s just more well-written angst with fantastic animation and expressions. And seeing Blitzo slowly realize he screwed up was great too.
Unrelated but this probably to the biggest laugh out of me this episode
Brandon Rogers and Bryce Pinkham continue to be the best voice acting pair I’ve seen in a long time
and guys we FINALLY got Blitzo airing out his feelings to Stolas, completely dumping everything on the table. And then he just backpedals so violently because he’s scared of letting people see his true self, in fear they might hurt him. Also Stolas’s face be like “that escalated quickly…”
To be honest i could go on and on about all the little charachter detains and mannerisms, the animation, and how BEAUTIFUL the colors are. I want to talk about the section at the party, but this is already long enough. I might make a part two if i find the time, but those were just my thoughts
#apology tour#helluva boss fandom#helluva boss#helluva boss stolas#helluva boss blitzo#blitzo x stolas#blitzø#stolas#Helluva blitzo#helluva stolas#stolas x blitz#stolitz
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judging earthspark s3
contains spoilers!!!
(my own opinion + not that serious :))
not in order bc i sketch-wrote these down while watching first but guys im so im so .head in hands
-15 pts for the character development, relationships, ideas, etc set up in s1 that were thrown out in s2 and s3. war trauma, immigrant experience, ghost aftermath, individuality, healing process, autobot guilt, byebye. so much character assassination still happening
+1 for following through i guess
+1 shockwave 'all are dead' comic cover reference and having him react to it
+5 every appearance of frenzy and laserbeak. theyre professional hecklers i love them
-1 bc of how the art direction was already established having 2d handdrawn effects but obv their animation has been toned down, there are quite a few instances of 3d smoke made to look like 2d shading which is not necessarily bad on its own but doesnt feel like it fits here
+1 rage virus had nice potential for bringing simmering resentments to surface,, wish the show delved deeper into the characters thoughts + fallout
-1 megatron's va sounds like he was given direction to hold back somehow on his delivery ?? idk it just feels like forced gentleness compared to earlier performance like his lines don't fit him
-2 animation lacking feeling of weight, movements are stiff, unnatural esp for huge guys made of metal. how in the world did twitch push megatron over
-2 fight choreo is more generic and plain,, characters tend to fight in similar ways when they wouldnt, considering different sizes, abilities, personalities etc,, everyone is just tossing each other around
-2 teasing us with breakbee and then actually setting it on fire and then killing bumblebee's personality too and while we're here thrash and mo as well
+1 escape room ep overall was kinda fun. i like the idea of leaning into twitchs big sister role but like u dont have to water down the others when highlighting one character?? the maltos are kids, but theyre not like.stupid
+1 optimus pushing megatron down to protect him and megs glancing down where optimus' hand is on him. someone in story room is pushing megop
+1 prowl being a skilled Hater on entrance
+1 "organics" (derogatory)
-1 optimus tells prowl that the war is over in defence of megatron but literally theyre fighting decepticons again two seconds later so make up your mind earthspark
-5 what are the autobots and decepticons even fighting for at this point? let's shoot them into space so we don't have to worry about that conflict anymore except megatron but he's our friend so don't think about that trust us this is earthspark our show was formed on the basis of being the aftermath of the war hasbro im going to kill you
+1 constructicon mention
+3 prowl being huggable and pickuppable (+1 optimus, +1 elita, +1 arcee)
+1 "terran thrash" "terran nightshade" "stygi-terran" "clan malto" can't tell me thats not objectively cute
+5 blaster feature
+2 megop being deeply embarrassing about robby's weird girlfriend
+5 dramatic megop fight. intense music, personal arguments, falling through the ice sinking to the bottom of the lake together, if i'm going down you're coming with me etc i love it
-1 grimmy not having a single speaking line?? am i tripping
+1 thrash throwing the hat perfectly onto prowls antler tip
-2 duller lighting and colours overall </3 my guy was seriously looking grey in ep 6..,.
+1 "romantic entanglements have hobbled many a soldier. ask optimus." thank u es writers
+1 "there are no implications. there are only facts." banger
+1 multiple pronouns used for the shapeshifting quintesson i just thought it was fun
-1 thrash's character being largely reduced to That One Kid
-1 might just be me but the whole plot with the fake girlfriend was just weird as hell ?? what purpose does it have in robby's character development,,,
-1 dot and alex being less compelling as caring responsible parents. like they're still nice,, but the way they've been written just feels less careful
-1 that movie and confession scene sorry i know it was on purpose but i could not handle the secondhand embarrassment
+1 mole-bots tbh i thought they were going to pull scraplets but they were fun
-4 starscream neglect. where is the justice. nothing but a silhouette all season and then finally all he does is go crazy and get pulled back to jail??wtf
+1 quintesson ship entrance
-1 generic character body language/performance
+1 weird al yankovic going so hard
+1 saving civilians
-2 quintus powers being suddenly able to save the day when they need it because plot
-2 how the chaos terrans are not written
-1 environments are sometimes not that fitting for the action taking place there?? like for the final fight i know theyd need a lot of space for the titan but seriously just a green grassy field and blue sky come on?? give us some artistry,..,.
-1 slightly weird voice effects for quintesson characters but that might just be me
+1 sharkticon pit plucked right out of g1 movie i love it
+1 mo being so polite "mr optimus" "ms elita" "mr prowl sir" sweetheart
+5 what the fuck do you mean "i appreciate you, megatron"
+1 hard confirmation prowl is a hugger
+1 epic titan fusion
+1 prowl being nice. dialogue with bee in that scene felt kind of in your face but it was cute
-1 arresting starscream. girlie was probably starving in there
+1 "little bird"
+1 i'm just happy to have an animated prowl having so much relevance to the main story again.tfa prowl i miss u every day
-2 tarantulas never being seen nor heard from ever again. he had an awesome design, fantastic voice acting, super well written just for hasbro to be cowards
-1 again for just dropping pretty big story points from season 1 for unclear reasons. like i said,, current state of earthspark works fine as a kid's show alone but after how mature and well-handled season 1 was it feels like watching the tv spinoff series to the actual thing. sorry but like zero integrity to the shows basis and values and what the original writing had set up for the world and the characters
#im just rambling guys but if yall have opinions as well shoot them at me#transformers earthspark spoilers#im obviously still sad about the quality compared to s1 but it def still has some fun moments#head in my hands hasbro im going to .urhfgg
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leaving a lil rant here :]
I love Tim and his ships sm. Me personally, I only really ship TimKon. Those two are perfect for eachother and have so much clear queer coding that it’s crazy, and they have dialogue that’s just. gay shaped.
I also get TimBart, I don’t ship it romantically but I get why people do!! Tim and Bart are close as well, and the balance they get between ‘depressed tired wet cat’ and ‘living breathing embodiment of adhd’ is great.
I also get TimBartKon, they’re a trio. They are always a trio, so many people like to bring up how TimKon has so much coding and one of the big examples they use is when Tim tried to clone Kon. You know who else he tried to clone? Bart.
The only Tim ship I don’t get is TimBern, or any ship involving those two. When Bernard first appears, he’s Tim’s bully. He actively makes fun of tim and puts him down and then that character is forgotten about until Tim comes out as bi, then they just rework his character and go “haha guys this is his boyfriend not bully ygs are crazy” and just forget about all the bad stuff Bernard did? Reworking a character is great and all but, it just feels a bit weird and out of place for me. There’s always going to be that certain toxicity for TimBern, at least for me.
homie... bully??? im flabbergasted- im speechless- im jason todd (dead)
okay, im gonna start off by saying you have all the right to not ship them, and im not here to defend timbern as a ship. im here to defend BERNARD DOWD.
first thing bernard does is give tim advice about teachers, and he clearly says they're gonna be good friends.
if bernard was a bully, tim wouldn't hang around him so much. besides, i hate it when people place tim as a helpless little boy who would get bullied. he has put himself in situations where he looks weak on purpose to keep his identity safe, but he's not a victim at all. tim is a social butterfly because he's really good at masking and reading people.
not to mention, both bernard and darla push tim a lot because they're trying to get him to open up and be closer to them, but he keeps pushing them away. tim is a professional liar.
and when tim has to quit robin and start hanging out with normal people, he invites bernard over.
and bernard is acting relatively normal, and he wants to play video games and talk about how hot tim's stepmom is.
bernard is a normal teenager who has no idea one of his friends is the hero he's so obsessed with. he even shows concern for robin dying and makes up an entire conspiracy theory about batman havin a robin orphanage. you can tell he's afraid of robin being gone for real because at this point they haven't seen robin in months bc tim retired.
i dont know what about all of these interactions gave you the vibe that he's a bully because all i see is a normal teenager teasing his friends and being jealous tim gets more bitches.
im not saying that bernard was never mean or weird around tim, but he definitely wasn't actively bullying tim.
bernard is obnoxious and cocky, yes. but thats just because they wrote him as a real person. he's the school's chameleon, maybe even a little bit of a loser, too. he knows everyone but keeps a safe distance so that he doesn't get pushed into a box. im not sure if, at this point, he was already in a cult or being indoctrinated, but when we see his parents and the dowd home in tim drake: robin that just doesn't look right.
also homie talk about "forgetting all the bad things bernard did" (which in my opinion is none but okay lets follow that logic) everyone forget about all the bad things batman did to tim, he was not a kind and loving mentor, he was cruel to both tim and steph. we forget that batman was kind of an asshole to damien in the beginning. all those things are forgotten for the sake of the batfam.
in conclusion: we're just so used to the idea that superheroes can only ever form strong friendship bonds by having near death experiences together that we forget that the secret identifies exist and that the people who know them by their legal name also means a lot to them. after all, these people are the reason why they're heroes.
#bernard dowd#timbern#tim drake#i could make a 2 hours long video essay on bernard dowd and how deep his character actually goes#but yall are not ready for that#ask#cosmic inbox
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I love you and all your colors...
⇢ ˗ˏˋ gn!artist!reader x childe / modern-ish au? /angst little to no comfort
⇢ ˗ˏˋ summary: Childe had fought hard to make you love your talent for painting, but during just one argument, it all slipped away
⇢ ˗ˏˋ important notes: this is a repost from my old account (@/rainstops), and the ending is like,, really rushed
⇢ ˗ˏˋ a/n: if people ask for it, i might write a part two or so...
old post masterlist tba !
you had these scars on your hands, and you hated them. no one knew where they came from except for your boyfriend, childe. he has caressed your hands so many times, and told you before, that he doesn't mind the crescent shaped marks on your hand.
he knew you used to press your nails into your palm so hard, that they started to bleed. you’re an artist, and always wanted to do something with your talent, yet your parents were more than just unsupportive of your dreams. they started suggesting that you put your free time in something other than your ‘little doodles’.
yet their words grew harsher and harsher over the years you lived.
Whenever you were once again told that you're useless, and that your paintings don't look any different from those compared to a five year old, your hands would start bleeding again.
maybe you would've given it all up, if it wasn't for your, at that time, friend childe. he was your rock, your support in all of this.
How many times had you texted him late in the evening and asked him if you could stay over at his place? How many times had he cleaned out the wounds on your palms?
He helped you move out of your parents house, into your current shared apartment, and helped you be comfortable drawing again.
Yet even with all of his support, you grew protective of your work. you barely told anyone about what you did, and was afraid of taking criticism.
one person you were not afraid of though. you were never too afraid to ask childe for his opinion on your recent piece. you were never too afraid to turn around the canvas, and show him what you had done with your time.
and everytime again, he was proud of you. He peppered your face with kisses, and told you what he especially liked.
and over the years, even your so much hated scars started to fade.
Apparently his job has started to take a lot more from his energy though.
he never said that, but you just assume that that is the reason for his lack of response to your proudly painted canvas.
nowadays you never got more from him, other than a simple ‘i like it’, or even just a hum of approval.
and it got you thinking, if you would stop showing him what you had done, would he care enough to ask?
so that's what you did.
The next day when he came home from work, you didn't ask if you could show him what you had painted. you simply greeted him with a warm dinner, and a kiss on the lips. you hadn't mentioned your art for the whole day.
but still, while lying in bed, your thoughts told you that he was probably just exhausted, and that he might have forgotten, but tomorrow he will surely ask you about it!
he never asked you about anything.
Was he really that forgetful? a week had passed, and you just wanted to show him one piece, that took you significantly long.
“babe, i have something to show you!”, the excitement not fading even though childe had forgotten what you spent the majority of your time with.
“Sure what is it?”, your boyfriend didn't even look up from his dinner, but that was okay! He was probably just really hungry.
"I'll get it!”
you quickly ran to your room, and grabbed the beautifully painted canvas.
yet childes reaction was as little as the hope you had left for any sign that you two were not drifting apart.
“oh, that's cool babe”
thats cool?
you felt your heart clench, when you realized that's all he had to say. Still, you weren't ready to give up yet.
“what do you like about it?”, what were you even trying.
childe took another look at the painting, and then at you.
“I don't know, it looks pretty though”, you quietly looked away.
“Okay, thanks for your feedback, I’ll be heading to sleep now”, you smiled, but the hole in your heart was growing by the second.
“alright good night babe”
The bed felt cold. you hugged your own body, trying to keep yourself warm, yet the cold sheets you were lying between made you shiver.
you could no longer blame childes dismissive act on his work, and him being so exhausted. What could have changed your boyfriend so much, that he was no longer the person that made you feel so safe? A tear rolled down your cheek, onto your pillow.
When you woke up that morning, childe was not there. you assumed he must have headed to work earlier than usually.
you forced yourself out of bed, ignoring how heavy your body felt on your legs. That was when a specific thought came to mind. maybe you should start showing your boyfriend your drawings without him having to ask. and maybe, just maybe, he would start being excited to see them again.
you don't remember what made you come to this conclusion. maybe desperation for the love you used to feel everyday, which had now left your life as quick as it had appeared.
so that's what you did. everyday you had proudly presented your boyfriend your drawings which you had put minute after minute and hour after hour of your days into. longing for his love and attention back you were ready to do anything.
probably if you had told anyone how you felt, and what you were doing, they would have called you desperate.
but no one could expect from you to give up the love that had saved you over and over again. no one could expect that you would give up the only person who was there for you in your hardest and happiest times.
so youre not giving up yet.
even though childes lack of enthusiasm remained the same, you were glad he was at least not shaming you for your hobby like your parents used to. you don't know how you would react if he were to act that way, but it was childe you were talking about.
you were convinced he could never even act that way.
but how long could you still continue this? everyday where you presented your work to him, and he would just react with a disinterested ‘nice’, felt like a weakening punch in the gut.
this wasn’t working. maybe you should just talk to him about his lack of a reaction to your hobby and your work. the work which he used to love so much.
so maybe that was the right thing to do.
when he came home from that specific day at work, you had shown him a drawing which was especially big. you had put so much work into it, you barely took a break the whole day to make sure it was finished before he came home.
maybe you were going to get a bigger reaction out of him this time.
“looks great babe”
he didn’t even look at it.
What were you doing wrong?
“childe, you didn’t even look at it”, maybe you really needed to talk to him.
“huh?”, seriously? did he even care? has he never even listened to you?
“childe you don’t even care about my drawings like you used to, do you?”, suddenly he got up from his chair. and you put down your drawing, leaning it against the wall.
childe rubbed his face.
“you know [name], I’m really tired, can we discuss this some other time?”, you had told yourself for so long that he was just tired, but was that even true?
“childe you’ve been tired for months now. don’t get me wrong, i can't even begin to imagine how exhausting your job must be, but I don’t even really feel like you acknowledge me, other than eating the food i cook for you”
you had to try really hard for this to not turn into an argument. emphasis on tried, because childe was not willing to listen to you. it felt like he was never going to be listening to you, and you needed to get that out of your system. maybe this wouldn't be the best time to tell him, but was it ever going to be the best time?
“I understand that you might be tired, but just tell me what happened? why are you being like this?”, your tone remained calm, yet your muscles tensed up.
“All I am asking of you is the attention that you used to give me. i understand that you can be tired when coming home from work, that's not something i'm denying, but-”
“Look, [name], do you really want to know?”, his tone was a lot harsher than yours, and it made a shiver travel up your spine.
you took a second, but nodded and gave him a hum.
“you know that while i am going out to work, and let you stay here all day, all you do is paint and draw. you know that there are so many things that you could spend your time with, but instead you waste your day just holding a paintbrush all day”, childe words were absolutely taking you apart. whether that was his intention or not, that's what he had achieved.
When you two first moved into the apartment, you had told him that you would go find a job, but he insisted that you should stay home. if he had anything to say, or if he had wished for you to get a job, he could have said so, couldn't he?
“childe if you had wanted me to get a job, you could have said so. i would have started looking for someth-”
“you're missing the point! I am saying that you keep wasting all your time, and then expect me to praise you for it! your stupid drawings are just a huge waste of your days! Every single day I come home and you remind me of how much you waste your time! Do you seriously think that I could be proud of you for that?!”
Maybe trying to confront him today wasn't such a good idea, yet this felt like it was a really long time coming.
when you blinked, you found little tears collected in the corners of your eyes. Yet even when they fell childe didn't notice. He kept ranting on and on about things he had already said.
while he kept talking and talking, your nails had found your palms once again. an old habit you had wished to finally be rid off.
the memories came flooding back of your parents shouting at you for the same thing, your boyfriend was shouting at you right now. the same boyfriend that first safed you of the mental torture your parents put you through. the same boyfriend who would cut your nails for you, so the wounds wouldn't be so bad. the same boyfriend who had praised you for your talent.
the stupid thing about this was that childe isn't actually mad about you wasting your day. he wasn't even able to put an exact finger on it. you could blame it on him being exhausted from work, and needing to take out his exhaustion somewhere, or maybe he was mad about not spending enough time with you. maybe he was mad at himself for not giving you enough attention, but the hurtful things have been said, and there was nothing he could do to take them back.
when childe finally looked at you after ranting for a good minute, his heart dropped to his stomach and maybe even further.
there you were standing, sniffling, looking down at your feet while your nails were digging into the soft flesh of your palms. your face was wet from your tears, and your hand only reached up to wipe them away, and then to return into a tight fist.
“i understand, I hic i will draw less, and find better things to do”
childe often found himself wishing to be able to turn back the time, but never had he prayed so hard for being able to take back his words.
“w-wait, [name] i-”, childe felt like all the words and apologies he could have given you were knocked out of his brain in an instant, and he panicked when you wanted to walk past him to leave the room.
although the worst thing was that you were pressing your nails so hard into your palms again, to a point where you were bleeding from the amount of pressure you were releasing. childe felt as if he had been punched in the stomach. the habit of yours that he was fighting so hard to get rid off, had returned. it had returned because of him.
“[name] please i don't know why i said that, i was just- maybe i was just tired from work, although i cant blame it on that-”, childe frantically took your hands into his, yet your nails already had your blood on them.
childe felt like a world in front of his eyes fell apart. the bad habit of yours that he tried fighting for so long, was close to returning. He was the one who tore your scars back open, and there was nothing he could do about it.
“[name], [name] please- I didn't mean to say these things, please”, all childe could do was beg and repeat your name over and over as he felt his eyes water.
he frantically held your hands, and let you to a chair, to sit down. tears were still repeatedly staining your face, and childe had rushed off to get some bandages for your hands.
childe rushed back and almost fell down onto his knees in front of you.
“please just let me-”, childe proceeded to clean your wounds a little, and then bandage up your hand. while he was handling your hand, you didn't move or talk one bit. other than quiet sniffles, you just let childe do what he needed to do. in the meantime, your head hung low and your eyes haven't stopped staring at that one spot on your leg.
you didn't know how to feel. How could you? the one person you believed you could turn to, whenever your parents were rude to you, has done the same thing you were so afraid of happening again. and why? because of stress at work? because he had a bad day?
“[name] i know you're mad, just please- please say anything”, childe pleaded with you.
“I’m not mad”, you replied and your voice broke. you weren't even sure if that was true. you were more hurt than angry, but then again you were also just confused.
“it's late… Can I go to bed?”, why were you asking him?
“of course- anything you want, I’ll sleep on the couch for tonight”, you were both crying and overwhelmed by emotions.
you nodded and headed up the stairs to the room you and childe usually shared. a million thoughts flooded your mind, but for some reason your chest felt so empty.
the person you usually relied on when you felt this way, was now the cause of your feelings. Who were you supposed to turn to?
then another thought filled your head. What if your parents were right all along? maybe you should have done anything else but waste your life painting stupid pictures.
you cried yourself to sleep that night.
and even after you woke up, you could feel the daggers that were sent through your heart.
you opened the door to your room. “childe?”, you called out, your voice being utterly shaky.
was he at work?
when you opened the door to your art room, you didn't expect childe to be sitting in the middle of your paintings. you couldn't read the expression which was resting on his face.
what childe hadn't realized was that these paintings were small pieces of your soul. every single one of the paintings were thoughts and feelings that you couldnt find the words for, so instead you found the colors for your unspoken feelings. childe has never wished for anything as much as he has wished that he paid more attention to you.
“childe…?”, your voice pulled him out of his thoughts, and his head shot towards the door.
“oh- sorry i was just… well uh, do you need anything?”, childe stammered, getting up from his sitting position.
“I was just looking for you… why are you here?”, your voice remained quiet and shaky.
“i was just… looking at all your work that i had missed… and all the time… well uh- if you want me to leave i'll go-”
“its… it's okay i just wanted to see where you were” with those words you turned around, about to leave the room.
“wait-! [name] I… I’m sorry, I don't know what to say to let you know how bad i feel-”
“childe i know”, his face was met with the sight of a sad smile on your face.
“w-what can I do to make you feel better? I’ll do anything- please”
“I don't know, honestly…”, a shaky sigh escaped your lungs.
“please… know that i love you [name], more than anything”
“i… love you too”
#! vivis drafts#genshin impact#genshin x reader#genshin fanfic#childe#childe tartagalia#childe tartaglia ajax#tartaglia#childe x reader#tartaglia x reader
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