#tw; medicine mention

[hells-sirenqueen]

(Not sure if I should post this on other blogs but..I just started taking anti-depressants so my moods are going to be all over the place for a bit. I sort of failed the depression/ anxiety q & a on Friday so now I gotta take drugs. Oh joy of joys..

[ravusnightblossom]

ooc;  Me waking up at 7:45am (EST) and proceeding to pester and wake friends on the West coast (4:45am, I think?) More likely than you think.  Sorry, Midori, ily.

Also, I stupidly messed up one of my med schedules and now my head feels like it’s full of cotton (the joy of neuro-transmitter medications,) but I’m going to try to get a lil more done today! Hopefully it stops, because I’m armed with a lot of espresso and READY.

[oddsconvert]

My brain: make friends! Send asks! Exist in more then just your blog!

Me: but what if I'm scared of friends!?!?!

Anyway, can I request Ronan catching Issak hurting Henley?

Flowers for author. 💐💐💐💐💐

Friends!!! It's official! No being scared! <3 I am so sorry for the delay with this but I hope this ticks your boxes! :D

---

“How do you sleep at night?”

Henley stirred awake, his world a blurred mess of throbbing pain. Crusted sleep clung to his lashes, he blinked fiercely to chase away the haze. He could only just about make out a hulking silhouette looming over him. When his vision finally sharpened, he instinctively clutched his scratty blanket closer to his heaving chest - his futile shield.

Cold dread flooded Henley as he saw Izaak, free of the chains that usually rattled with every twitch of a muscle. The chains that kept Henley safe and sound, out of harm's way. Far from Izaak’s reach.  Izaak's fists were clenched so hard his knuckles were white, his face contorted in a feral snarl. Panic squeezed Henley’s chest like a vice. He was a rabbit trapped in a fox's den. 

“Wha-?” Henley’s voice was a hoarse rasp. He’s half-convinced no sound left his lips at all. 

"Oh, did I interrupt your sweet dreams, Henny?" Izaak's voice was a low growl, sending shivers trickling down Henley's spine. That nickname. The way it dripped with mocking familiarity, but years of ingrained fear hid within it. It made all the hairs on Henley’s arms stand on edge. 

Izaak suddenly lunged forward. One massive hand clamped around Henley's throat, squeezing every last drop of air from his lungs. Henley's wrists burned in protest against his chains, straining as he fought for a sliver of slack, a desperate inch to reach his throat and fight Izaak off. "You," Izaak spat, barely containing his rage, "are the reason for my suffering. The cause of my anguish. Every scar on my body has your name written on it.."

Tears pressed from beneath Henley’s eyelids, and he shook his head furiously. Passionately. No. It’s not true. He’s not responsible for this. He didn’t land them here, he didn’t start all of this. This is all Izaak’s doing. This is the price he has to pay. 

“So answer the question,” Izaak demanded, now nearly crushing Henley’s windpipe as he choked and wheezed, “How the hell do you sleep at night? No. Scratch that shit. Better yet. How do you live with yourself? After what you’ve done to me?”

“I-Izaak, pleas-”

Izaak’s fist came at Henley with such speed it was like a cannonball. It connected with a sickening crunch as Henley felt his nose cave in, and hot-white pain erupted. The force of the blow sent him sprawling, the floor rose up to meet him with a jarring thud. He lay helpless. Cool blood dripped from his nose and pooled on his lips, he could taste the metallic tang. 

“You dare call me that again, and I’ll put you six feet under this fucking cement. Understand?” Izaak seethed through gritted teeth, with spit spraying and a vein pulsing from his temple. Izaak didn’t even give him the second to respond, Henley was still reeling and seeing stars. “I SAID, “DO YOU UNDERSTAND?!” he roared. 

“Yes!” Henley wailed miserably. Tears mingled with blood and dirt. He sniffed pathetically and whimpered as new pain flared through his obviously broken nose. He stayed glued to the floor. Too afraid to move, to even dare lift his head up. Henley didn’t see Izaak reaching for his long curls of hair and wrenching them in his fist. Yanking his head back, Henley’s Adam's apple bobbed against his collar as he gasped and gulped back the fear.

“‘Yes’, what?” Izaak whispered. It was hard to miss the element of enjoyment in his voice. It sounded like old times. Must feel like it to him too. 

But Henley immediately knew what he was looking for.

“Yes, sir!” Henley gasped out. There’s not a beat of hesitation. Izaak can say many things about Henley. A bad pet, he is not. 

Henley’s head smacked to the ground, his forehead banging against cold, unforgiving cement as Izaak threw him out of his hand. He’s on a warpath. He paced back and forth, contemplating what to do next. 

Izaak's foot then swung into Henley's gut. The air whooshed from Henley's lungs in a strangled scream that ripped free from his throat. The world lurched sideways, a wave of nausea crashing over him. Bile rose in his throat as pain lanced through his abdomen. Izaak unrolled Henley from his cocoon and straddled his hips, slamming his palm over Henley’s mouth, “Shut the fuck up! Don’t you dare make a sound.”

Henley obeyed. He forced himself to seal his lips, now sobbing silently and huffing through the pain. 

“You got us into this fucking mess. You deserve everything you’ve got coming to you. I’m going to make you wish you were never born-”

“I already do-” Henley croaked.

Izaak doesn’t hold back anymore. He unleashed a flurry of punches, raining blow after blow down on Henley. Henley’s already-battered body convulsed with each hit - he twisted and flailed in a desperate bid to shield himself from the onslaught. It was no use. Darkness cornered his vision, and ringing screeched in his ears. His entire body was slowly growing limp.

Henley squeezed his eyes shut, waiting for the sweet relief of unconsciousness. He waited for the next punch. And waited. But it never came. Confused, Henley cracked open a swollen and purpling eye.

Izaak was no longer looking at him, and a flicker of raw terror replaced the unhinged rage that had plagued his eyes before. Henley groaned as he lifted his pounding head, and turned to follow Izaak’s petrified stare.

A shadow shifted at the top of the stairs, a tutting sound emanating from the darkness.

“What are you doing to my boy?” Ronan asked, cool as a cucumber on the surface, but fury bubbled below. The calm facade didn’t last. Ronan flew down the stairs, and pulled that oh so familiar remote from his pocket. In the blink of an eye, Izaak was a quivering, jittering wreck as his shock collar lit up and shocked him stiff. He collapsed from Henley’s body like a tonne of bricks. His screams pierced the sound barrier - his fingers scrabbled and ripped at the collar, kicking his legs and bucking his entire body. Ronan punched the button again, and again until the screaming stopped. It’s just silent gargles, with drool dribbling down the edge of Izaak’s blue lips. 

Ronan threw Henley a single, and quick look as he bolted past. It wasn't a look of reassurance, but a quick flicker up and down to acknowledge him. Reaching his locked cabinet, Ronan fumbled with the combination and finally, the cabinet swung open, and he snatched a vial and syringe, and a length of rope.

He wastes no time in racing over to where Izaak is heaving and panting on the floor, and stabbing the syringe in his neck. Izaak roared, a sound that curdled the blood, but it was cut short by a weak gasp as the muscle relaxant began to take hold.

“There, there. That should settle you down, big-un,” Ronan chuckled, patting Izaak on the chest.

“F-ffuc- fuckk y-yoou,” Izaak slurred, his eyes rolled like pinball machines in their sockets. Henley watches as all the tone in Izaak’s muscle depleted and he flopped lifelessly. Izaak lay sprawled on the floor, a pathetic mew escaping his lips as the muscle relaxant coursed through his veins. His previously violent thrashing had dissolved into a pathetic trembling, his limbs heavy and unresponsive.

Henley's cry echoed through the basement. Now that the threat was neutralised. "You didn't tie him tight enough, sir! He almost—!" His voice choked on the rising panic, his gaze locked on Izaak's slack form. “He was going to kill me.”

Ronan paid no mind to Henley, the shivering wreck that he was. Instead, he focused on yanking Izaak’s arms behind his back. With rough rope, he bound Izaak's wrists together with a vengeance, the knots pulled tight, drawing a choked gasp that did little to faze Ronan. Next, he secured Izaak's ankles with another length of rope, the slack yanked out until Izaak's legs were splayed uncomfortably wide. Finally, with a cruel twist, Ronan bound Izaak's ankles to his secured wrists, hog-tying him in a position that screamed discomfort. Izaak's gasps faded to choked moans as his body contorted in a way it wasn't meant to, forced into an arched bow.

Ronan left Izaak on the ground and approached Henley slowly. With a touch that could have been gentle or cruel, he cupped Henley's bruised and bloodied cheek. Henley flinched at the contact, a hiss escaping his lips. Ronan’s eyes flickered over the damage and he tsked, disappointed. Then his eyes met Henley’s and locked in. “Do you really think I’d let him break one of my favourite toys?”

“He - He got pretty close, master.” Henley snivelled. He flinched as Ronan’s arms moved, expecting another blow, but instead, his arms wrapped around Henley’s tiny frame in a sudden and suffocating embrace. Ronan’s grip was tight, possessive, leaving no wiggle room. Defeated, Henley sagged into the hug and rested his head on Ronan’s chest, letting his eyes flutter shut. It was always easier to give into this than brave the pain. Ronan began to stroke Henley’s hair, twirling it in his fingers. It wasn’t a gesture of genuine affection and Henley was never under the impression that it was. It was Ronan’s sense of ownership. Like Izaak’s claim was the bruises and scars. Ronan’s was more inside than out. For Henley, at least.

“Shh Shh. Come with me. I’ll get you patched up, little one”. Grunting with effort, Ronan hoisted Henley to his feet, a hand wrapped under his armpit to guide him up the creaking stairs.

Ronan turned at the very last step, leering at the sight of Izaak, bound and subdued. "That little temper tantrum of yours was cute, pet" he called down, his voice heavy with sarcasm. "But playtime's over. Now, you get to lie there, nice and quiet, and contemplate all the fun things I have planned for you when your little cocktail wears off. I want you to feel every second.”

----

Taglists!:

Henley taglist: @livelaughwhump @kira-the-whump-enthusiast @sorrowful-hyacinth

Ronan taglist: @kira-the-whump-enthusiast

Izaak taglist: @emmettland @kira-the-whump-enthusiast @sorrowful-hyacinth @whumpsoda

Drabble taglist (which I forgot existed and have recently rediscovered assdfghjkl so will be using from now on unless you would like off it <3 ): @whatwasmyprevioususername @whumpsday @sparrowsage @whumperfully @wolves-and-winters @canislycaon24 @happy-little-sadist @darkthingshappen @whumping-in-the-dark @vagabouund @turn-the-tables-on-them

[discord-emote-customs]

I love your emotes and I really like the self care/ heath ones! I was wondering if you could do some like:

"Take your meds" person holding pill bottle in 1 hand and pills in other hand (neutral or positive face)

"Brush your teeth" person brushing teeth or just holding toothbrush

take your meds & brush your teeth emotes ! both with and w/o text !! ^^

[bamsara]

You got drugged!!!??

Yeah it wasn't great lol

I spent most of that day in the medical tent (I went as soon as I felt *off*) and the health workers took great care of me and were super nice so it worked out in the end. First time going to a music festival was really an experience huh

[candieduranium]

if there isn’t already, i’d like for there to be like a documentary or something similar about Common Drugs That Fuck People Up. because isotretinoin and birth control have messed with my brain in such terrifying ways. and they weren’t even required for my well-being. it was just for acne. it was 100% optional and it nearly k_lled me.

obviously, it’s VERY important to be aware that some drugs that fuck some people up work great for other people. i just really wish there were better warning labels than “oh, some people hallucinated while on this medication. it’s probably fine for you, though” despite the patient never having been looked at to see how the medication could affect them individually. i want real stories from real people who took real medicinal drugs that affected them in real ways.

please spread this info. this medicine has fucked with me so much. i want people to be aware of this problem. i want people to take into account the dangers of medicine.

[pebbles-stims]

CW: Pills / Syringes

[furiousgoldfish]

I finally caved in and started using pain medicine to deal with the pain. This was a very hard thing for me to do, because for the most of my life, I believed that I both didn't deserve any medicine, and that it was bad for me.

Thinking back, my family used a lot of medicine daily, but when I was sick, I was told to 'work through it' or that my immune system had to be strong enough to take it. I wasn't even taken to the doctor unless there was a culmination of multiple issues at once. Even when taken to the doctor, I've been told over and over what a burden I was, how much of their time I was wasting, and how I got sick on purpose.

I became convinced that if I wanted to be healthy, I would bear any sickness without the help of doctors or medicine. This conviction became so strong that if I was forced to take any medicine, I would have a volatile reaction, start having a complete breakdown or immediately get sicker. I started believing that my body is resistant to medicine and breaks down if any is introduced. It was more likely that I was hanging onto my belief that I had to be 'strong enough to survive anything without medicine' so much, that if this got violated, I would psychologically break down and believe myself weak and broken permanently.

As an adult, I would take medicine only when pain was such high level it was unbearable and pushing me into suicidal thoughts. And lately, I've been having lots of that, pain so severe it would paralyze me completely, I wouldn't be able to speak or think, I would even end up making noises, which, I was trained not to do, even when tortured. There was an instance where I was in so much pain I couldn't control my hands enough to take medicine, and found myself having to ask someone else to give it to me - which was horrifying to me. And I finally realized, I can't wait that long. I have to take the medicine before it gets to such extreme levels.

So, I am slowly letting go of my ideas that medicine will make me weak or mess with my immune system. I'm looking up what medicine does to the body and for the first time, seeing realistically what the risks are, what is happening inside of me if I take any, what are the possible side-effects, what will it truly do to my immune system. The entire process is extremely scary, because I built so much of my identity on that perceived toughness and 'medicine is bad' mindset. Just casually learning that I've been wrong about everything for all of my life is a lot to swallow. But I can't live like this anymore. I can't stand any more of the pain. Even if medicine will give me some mild side effects, or is a bit tough on my stomach, taking it responsibly will not give me any permanent damage. It will keep me alive through the pain and make it survivable. I can't live in an amount of pain that is making me suicidal.

[earthstellar]

A lot of mini-bots (and quite a few other bots) have what might be considered neurodivergent traits (or have been confirmed as such), and I wonder if certain frame types or classes --or Cybertronians in general-- might have physically type-specific processor structures which allow for greater diversity of thought, and if some frame types or spark types might be more or less likely to have or develop neurodivergent traits

We know the Quintessons fucked with the Well of All Sparks in the Aligned Continuity which had unknown effects, and in IDW 1 given the spark as the core of a person's individual spirit (for lack of any better phrasing), it would make sense for Cybertronian sparks to imbue individual personality etc. while the processors are physical hardware with software flexibility to permit and adapt to those unique aspects of self

For example, in the continuities where spark development influences protoform development and therefore what type of frame a bot might ultimately have, it is still simultaneously possible to alter a frame to some degree with armour changes, mass manipulation, etc. (and in most continuities, alt-modes can be altered as well, to at least some degree within the range of someone's core specs)

But the processor and spark are the two things that generally (although we have seen some exceptions to this) cannot be physically altered without incurring significant damage-- Making them some of the few constant components in a species designed to physically change

Sparks have significant individual variation in terms of the personality etc. that evolves from each unique spark, so perhaps processors have some physical elements designed to best accommodate a certain frame type, while also allowing for individual experiences and perception etc. to form unique thought pathways for each individual -- This would allow for any Quintesson or Functionism-related frame alterations or requirements, while also still enabling a spark to produce a unique person as it forms and as experiences accumulate

Sort of like genetics vs epigenetics in human beings; Some things are physical and structural, but some things are informed by environment, experience, etc.

It's interesting that we do seem to see a lot of mini-bots specifically who might fall into a neurodivergent category or exhibit behaviours or thought process that might reasonably fall under the category, but of course it's not universal so there is still greater variation

Although characterisation varies from series to series, here's a couple examples:

Cliffjumper tends to have impulse control problems that are sometimes similar to ADHD impulse control problems, and he sometimes has difficulty prioritising or hyperfixates on one aspect of a situation, leading him to reach the wrong conclusion or focusing on the slightly wrong thing; He also struggles to manage frustration. This could all be related to something similar to executive dysfunction, as it commonly manifests in humans with ADHD.

Bumblebee seems to be conflict-avoidant to some degree in most continuities, and aside from that being part of his friendly nature and kind disposition, it might also hint at something similar to rejection sensitive dysphoria, or a greater sensitivity and emotional response to perceived interpersonal conflict or perceived failure. Some versions of Bumblebee have particularly struggled when faced with high stakes/high risk of failure scenarios, and he has a tendency to internalise blame, directing it towards himself even when a failure is not necessarily his fault or even truly a failed mission. This is often comorbid with Autism and ADHD in humans, but it can also exist on its own.

It's not just mini-bots; Misfire canonically has ADHD in IDW 1, Geomotus in IDW 2 is Autistic and his neurodivergency is even highlighted by other characters, and so on.

So all of this (and how it might work) varies from continuity to continuity, but I just like thinking about how neurodivergent bots do exist, and how that happens and how it manifests and how it is perceived by others and by society at large is interesting

In IDW 2, neurodivergency seems to be viewed in a more understanding and positive light. But in IDW 1, neurodivergency may be viewed in a more ableist way under the Functionist system, and in the Aligned Continuity, perhaps neurodivergency is seen as a potential indication of Quintesson alteration of the Well or of the individual themselves (this would depend on a bot's age).

We don't have too many details on Cybertronian medicine in general, but it's interesting to think about!

It's 8 AM I'm gonna go have a tea now lol

[the-black-parade-system]

JUST THREW OUT THE PILLS I PLANNED TO OV3RDOSE WITH BEAT THAT SUICIDAL THOUGHTS!!! NOW IM DSNCING TO CHAPPELL ROAN

[exe-lee]

*。 Girl Dinner *⁠。

Take a meds and we can call it a day

[wreckrinho]

TW hospital talk and shits like thah

Ehehehehe im feeling blue and drunk sorry for the random talk talk

I feel so much comfort in hospitals and being bandaged and taking meds and little pills and just being in an little silly hospital feeling myself burning inside with a void of pain and loneliness. It just dissapear when i take meds and omg i just wanna take a med rn ehehehe???? Like wheres my dipirona ummm

[angelpointe]

Really weird thing I noticed about people when referring to Ink’s vials , why do a lot of y’all call it his medication ? Nothing bad or wrong at all , I just don’t really . Get it ?

It’s probably just a me thing , because I have a very *very* strained relationship with meds , but it’s freaky anytime somebody jokes about it being his “normal pills” or something , and feel like I have to state the weirdly gross feeling it gives me .

I don’t know — feel free to share your opinions here about this if you want , I’m always open to hearing what others have to say

[cree-n-jewish-thoughts]

High-potency cannabis use is tied to epigenetic changes, study suggests

Thought this article is cool, since marijuana is now legal in Canada and (most of?) the USA.

We always knew it could affect a developing brain, but literally changing and permanently "altering" a person's DNA by leaving lasting effects...

[churchydragon]

"apparently it's hinted somewhere that Jimmy stopped taking anti-psychotics at some point-" okay sure but that doesn't change the fact that he raped Anya and when he couldn't find the gun to kill her decided to crash the ship and it definitely doesn't change the fact that I hate his guts. Don't make excuses for him.

[uncanny-tranny]

Being trans is the funniest shit imaginable to me because, like... on a strictly personal level, I love hospitals and I love medicine because I'm trans, but I'm scared of medicine and hospitals (also because I'm trans). Make it make sense, brain!