#tw restricting a childs food

[ratmom819]

tw: forced dieting, hunger, sneaking food, restricting a child's food

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it's summer 1994, dudley is on a strict diet on his doctor's orders, and harry is forced on the same diet on petunia's orders. everyone is fairly miserable because none of them are eating enough.

harry is honestly used to it, because the dursleys never really gave him enough food. harry is also fairly sure that vernon and petunia are eating normal food after harry and dudley are sent to bed. but dudley has never been hungry before, not like this. harry can't help but feel a little sympathy for him, because harry understands better than anyone what it's like to be hungry.

of course, harry has never settled for hunger, intense self preservation instincts baked into him from the time he was one. he sneaks out of his room one night after he's sure vernon and petunia are asleep, choosing the right pattern on the steps so they won't make a noise.

he's not in the pantry long before the sound of someone creaking down the stairs meets his ears. he panics, leaves the pantry, but realizes that he has no good hiding places without crossing the view of the stairs. the best hope he has is hiding in the dark pantry and praying that whoever it is will only open the fridge.

he listens at the door, hearing the unmistakable sounds of someone trying to be quiet and failing spectacularly. probably vernon then, because petunia is frighteningly good at moving quietly when she wants to. harry hears the fridge open, hears some jars rustle around, and he has a glimmer of hope that maybe he'll get away with this.

but then he hears footsteps come towards the pantry door, and he braces himself for whatever punishment vernon will dole out for this. probably locked in his room for the rest of the summer. he backs away from the door as it opens, and someone flicks the light on.

"dudley?" he says, just as dudley says, "harry?"

it's quiet for a moment as they both process what to do, both of them caught sneaking food. harry can't help but feel nausea at the thought of dudley running up to tell his parents that he caught harry out of his room. but dudley looks as nauseous as harry feels, probably some combination of extreme hunger and fear of harry's magic. that strange sympathy wells up in harry again, for the hunger, mostly.

"i'll tell," dudley says, attempting confidence, but there's a shake to his voice. "you'll get locked in your room again."

it strikes harry, oddly, as absurdly brave. dudley's only experience with magic is a twisted combination of his parents' lies and traumatic bodily injury in the form of a pig tail and a ballooning aunt. he would have no defense if harry used magic against him, but he's threatening harry anyways.

dudley has been horrible to harry for the entirety of their relationship, has never done anything but hurt him, and yet harry also knows that dudley has vernon and petunia for parents, and that, even as he looms in the pantry doorway with clenched fists, he is a hungry kid. and so harry extends an olive branch that dudley probably doesn't deserve.

"don't take too much of one thing," he says.

"what?"

"when you take food, don't take too much of one thing, or they'll notice."

"...okay?"

"and if it's something like a pack of biscuits, shake them forward a little so it looks fuller than it is."

dudley is staring at harry with the most peculiar expression on his face.

"why are you helping me?"

harry shrugs. he doesn't have a coherent answer to that at 2am. he tells himself it's just because if his aunt and uncle realize someone (other than them) has been sneaking food, he'll be the one in trouble regardless of guilt. but harry knows that's not really his reason.

harry doesn't say any of this out loud. he takes a step forward to leave the pantry, and dudley skitters back into the kitchen, eyes wide. harry puts his hands up in surrender, slowly steps out of the pantry. they're both standing in the kitchen now, still staring at each other, unsure how to end this odd encounter.

"well," harry finally says. "night dudley."

"yea, night harry."

harry follows his usual path up the steps, thinking about how that's probably the first time that he and dudley ever wished each other good night.

harry lies in bed, expecting vernon or petunia to come knocking on his door at any minute, but they never come.

[tangledinink]

new gemini update was so good as always but I can't stop thinking:

big mama: there's nothing wrong with my sons

splinter: you fucked up two perfectly good kids is what you did. look at blue. he's got an eating disorder

wwhhhattttt? nooo, don't be silly. leo doesn't have an eating disorder.

leo and donnie have eating disorders--

[gxlden-angels]

I think it's really funny when fundies are also super into the crunchy lifestyle like bestie your whole system is based on a dude with magical powers born from a virgin you can take a tylenol and stop feeding your infant raw milk now

[acemdzsfan]

Do you have to constantly avoid people when eating, because you feel threatened/frightened of the consequences of how much/quickly you eat, or is that just me? 🙃

don't eat enough or quickly enough? No food for the night

eat too quickly? Or more than usual? Oh! You're gonna get fat.

don't want to finish something because of sensory issues? Too bad you get spanked until you eat it.

[cxcaineheadache]

It’s been 14 years now and I still have an eating disorder. I wish I could go back and hug younger me, take care of them and let them know you shouldn’t destroy yourself. You don’t have to shrink away in hopes maybe if you disappear the pain will go away. I wish I could tell them how amazing life has become, I wish I didn’t set myself up for this so long ago. It’s never been a choice it feels like.

[vampire-f0od]

"Daughter u can't have other family members food, u have assigned snacks, u get this can of peaches and that's all, don't take any other family's food even if they offer it, and oh btw ur the only one that knows about this rule and other ppl can eat ur food"

[lavenderlemonade03]

I'm such a problem to my family and I don't know how to stop. I tried to stop being an inconvenience but I guess it's the only thing I'm good at......I'm just so anxious all the time and depressed. I can't get a diagnosis because I can't afford to get accessed for anything. My mom just thinks I'm overly sensitive to everything...

Ed is just how I cope and control stuff....

[wewontbesleeping]

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[best-of-yandere]

Mafia AU with platonic yandere Superfam

NO MINORS 18+ ONLY

TW: mentioned death (human & animal), non-sexual breastfeeding mention, surveillance, various "light" punishments mention, slight infantilization, platonic yandere

It starts with Clark and Lois deciding to have another child. They have Jon, and Connor, of course, but they miss having a baby in their arms.

As soon as they hold you in their arms at the hospital, they're in love. It's different with you; it only takes a single coo for them to be wrapped around your chubby little fingers.

When they bring you home, you quickly win the hearts of your siblings. Fights have been started between them over who's your favorite.

You never sleep alone. As a baby, Clark and Lois keep you in their arms at night. When you grow older, your siblings are allowed to have you with them at night. A schedule is quickly devised over who gets you what nights. You do have your own room... you're just never in it.

As you grow older, it becomes apparent you're not suited for the "family business". You still cry over a bird hitting the window; insisting on nursing it back to health, only to become inconsolable when it dies.

They're ok with that. What they do is dangerous, and you're too precious to them to be put in harms way. They decide to keep the truth of what they do from you, telling you they're both reporters to explain their long hours and traveling.

You grow up sheltered, a mafia princess with no idea you are. You're not allowed to leave the compound, but you're given everything you want... except freedom. It wears on you, the lack of freedom and personal space. One of the family is always around you, and when they're not, trusted bodyguards follow you around. You beg off to your room to get at least a little alone time, unaware of the cameras and microphones lacing your room.

But they couldn't keep the truth from you forever. One day, you see Connor killing a grunt, and sweet, sheltered you runs in fright. You don't even make it to the compound's front door. Having seen you trying to escape, Jon is quick to grab you and carry you back inside. You cry, trying to tell him what Connor did, how you both have to get out of there; it breaks his heart to see you so scared! He'll take you to the family room, shushing your cries and wiping away your tears, while he waits for the rest of the family to arrive.

When they do, there's no explaining it away. They come clean, at least about their real careers. You can't accept it; your loving family; murderers, criminals? When you eventually you wear yourself out, calmed down from the exhaustion, Clark and Lois tell you that nothing has to change. They're still your family who loves you very much and would do anything for you.

You're already restricted from business areas of the compound and under heavy surveillance, so the only major changes to your life is them taking away your access to electronics so you can't ask for help. That, and Connor's newfound clingyness. He wants so badly to be your beloved, cool older brother again, that he's constantly with you, trying to get you engaged in activities with him. He'll sneak you video games and junk food to try to get in your good graces again, so things can go back to how they used to be.

Lashing out at them due to your circumstances is a good way to get punished. They'd never lay a hand on you, but they're not afraid to show you just how much freedom you've been afforded until now.

An escape attempt will earn you an escort in the bathroom and shower. Trying to hurt them will put cuffed mittens on your hands. Trying to hurt yourself will get you sedated.

Stars forbid you try a hunger strike; Lois is more than willing to take your food into her own hands. She'll start breastfeeding you again, sedating you, so you'll be compliant. Once she does, though, even if you agree to start eating again, she'll still insist on feeding you herself, treating you like a baby. She'll cut up your food and spoonfeed you each bite, taking turns with Clark for each meal time. They both missed feeling so close to you in this way, and in her and the family's eyes, there's really no reason for you to grow up.

Not when they're always going to be there to take care of you - even if you don't want them too. You may not have freedom, privacy, or bodily autonomy, but you have your family. Forever and ever and ever...

[arcadia345]

Astro observations🤍🦢

Not a real astrologer just my observations:)TW🔞

I noticed in 10th house Synastry house person could feel like planet person is shallow if you know them irl or it could be difficult to build a deeper connection w them but if it’s a celeb/far distance person you feel like you know them better than most people 💀 esp if it’s in a water sign notice me jungkook 💜

I’ve noticed people with outer planets in the 1st have shocking resemblance to their ancestors

Capricorn placements don’t get enough recognition for how many hidden gifts/ talented they are. I feel like people forget that they’re half goat/fish so their creativity can go overlooked(wow what a surprise). Wherever Capricorn/ Saturn is in you chart is where your hidden talents are, where you tend to feel shunned from/your biggest obstacles in life, where people try to belittle you because they see your potential. But once you realize your potential and work on it consistently you can become oh so powerful.

6th:their work ethic, natural healers, could be accused of being lazy, having haters at work, animals love them but they could’ve have bad experiences with them in the past, having good health/nice body if you’re persistent

3rd: being discouraged by your peers/teachers/family because of your communication skills, could do really well in later school years and also could be popular, feeling like your pov is never taken into thought, they could have been the child that was the most problematic but also the one that holds the family together like glue

12th: they sometimes could feel like a shadow also could see shadows💀 strong intuition without knowing it, people could spread lies behind ur back, another healer placement, you know other peoples fantasies & secrets bc of insights you get via dreams, your “gifts” could come later in life, having lots of hidden talents/info that you learn about yourself as you get older, definition of old souls

Also I’ve noticed Capricorn placements (esp fems) have strong intuition especially in tough situations they’re definitely the ones you go to for advice

My Capricorn stellium coworker said she basically worked all way till her due date with all her kids😳 but her last one almost came WHILE on the clock😭😭 like you need to rest mamas

Prominent Aries with a sprinkle of Neptune energy LOVE BLUSH and if you don’t please try it out you’d look so good😩and don’t be scared to experiment when it comes to makeup RAMS are meant to be BOLD example

Having a crush on someone you have 11th house synastry especially mars or sun is so hard😭😭😭 it’s so hard to get them to see you as other than a friend 😕 not impossible tho😈

Libra moon masc tend to have heavy karma when it comes to women esp family members, could go either way but most of the time they’re the ones getting hurt by the fem

Have y’all noticed some older Scorpio suns still dress like they’re in 2013? Which isn’t surprising since that was around the time millennials (Scorpio Pluto gen) were thriving

Saturn in 4th, I’ve noticed that they’ve had to deal with restrictions at a young age either it be emotional or material especially when it comes to food I now people with this placement that were fatshamed by their family members

Sun in 12/6 could have absent fathers in different ways

6th:he could be incarcerated, a workaholic, could’ve been ill, could be in the army

12th: also could be incarcerated, you probably don’t know who your father is or never met him, he could have passed, could be obsessed with finding him/absolutely no interest at all, could have a dr*ug addiction

Sorry not sorry but Saturn in the 5th natals are so boring😴true definition of squares have some fun once and awhile they’re all work no play

A pair I love to see is Virgo with Aquarius/Capricorn it’s either VERY toxic or they have cutest relationship ever😭

Venus In 10th synastry, they could see each other as the best looking partner that they’ve ever had

I noticed I tend to have 3rd/4th house synastry with my pets, but the ones I have to give away have planets in my outer house

That’s all for now don’t forget to like and follow🩶

[animeyanderelover]

Can I ask  NSFW headcanon for Muzan? Thank You 😊

What would the reaction be like if Yoriichi, Muzan, Carla and Reiji with a s/o who had an extremely complicated pregnancy, they almost lost their s/o and the baby, pls pls 🤧

I am no doctor so I would appreciate any corrections of errors I might have made. This might also be somewhat more extreme but I went with what I found on the internet.

Tw: Yandere themes, possessive behavior, obsession, toxic relationship, abduction, manipulation, gaslighting, clinginess, controlling behavior, pregnancy, forced pregnancy, labor, high-risk pregnancy, premature labor, birth, cannibalism, illness, cardiac arrest, C-section

Tags: @leveyani @kanaosprotector

Extremely complicated pregnancy

Reiji Sakamaki

☕️A life with Reiji is thoroughly scheduled as he always needs to have control over every little thing in your life. The already tight leash you had on you only becomes tighter the moment you manage to get pregnant with his child. He oversees everything strictly in your life from that day on from the food you consume to the drinks you choose. He’s very adamant that you stay healthy and deliver him a healthy child. A child that he has been planning to have with you for a longer time now. He has read every available source, he has created a diet schedule for you and he feels validated in his speculation and research when you actually find yourself craving occasionally blood which he immediately provides you with since you carry a vampire baby. You normally refuse the consumption of blood from humans because you’re still human yourself which leads always to him forcing it past your lips and down your throat. Consider the health of your baby before being such an unreasonable and neglectful mother-to-be. His own mother always ignored him so Reiji is extremely dedicated to ensure that you are a good mother to his own child.

☕️The first few months of the pregnancy go rather well. Besides the common morning sickness, some headaches and mood swings the baby develops healthily inside your womb. Reiji monitors everything extremely closely and you have him checking on your condition and the condition of the little one almost daily. Whenever you lash out on him due to his restricting schedules, he always quickly puts you back in your place by sharply scolding you for your immature behavior. He's designing the nursery room for the baby, accompanies you whenever he deems that it's time for you to take a walk outside and get some fresh air. The baby starts visibly moving around and kicking your insides when you are 19 weeks along and from that day on Reiji even starts observing the movements of the baby because any lack of it or very frequent movements can also indicate whether the baby is feeling fine or not. He has even already chosen a handful of names although he decides to wait until the baby is born and he can see them for the first time.

☕​It's within your fifth month that you start experiencing complications. There is an increase in your headache, you suffer from shortness of breath, your vision is blurry or you see dark spots dancing in front of your eyes and you also experience abdominal pain. You would like to think that this is normal but you can't deny that some of those symptoms scare you and the way Reiji's eyes narrow when you are forced to tell him about it only adds to your growing anxiety. When he runs some tests on you and realizes that your blood pressure is elevated, he starts getting worried. This shouldn't happen. He has always hated it when something didn't go according to his plan but your current pregnancy only heightens the stress he is feeling because right now he can't afford that anything goes wrong. The slight panic he initially feels manifests itself into accusations against you as he questions if you have done something that has caused your high blood pressure. His preparations should have been perfect. It is not his fault.

☕​Soon he is too busy closely monitoring your increasingly worsening condition to put the blame on you though as your symptoms have worsened. Your vision randomly blurs or darkens, your headache has led to increased nausea and has made it difficult for you to stomach food, your hands and face have swollen and Reiji has even started suspecting that the blood supply to your placenta doesn't work as it should. The baby doesn't grow and develop as it should due to the lack of blood supply and with each passing week he starts worrying more and more about it. He tries everything he can think of to cease your dizziness and your nausea, the abdominal pain and the lacking blood supply to your placenta but nothing seems to really work. There is no medicine or cure to your symptoms and when Reiji realizes that he can't do anything, the only choice he is left with is trying to prolong the pregnancy long enough to guarantee the survival of his darling and his baby. He starts mentally preparing himself to perform a C-section on you if worst should come to worst.

☕​The worst case scenario happens in your 30th week when premature labor starts together with intense abdominal pain. You are weakened from weeks of dizziness, nausea and stress and the sheer exhaustion from labor proves too much for you as you faint after a few hours. This leaves Reiji with pretty much no choice but a Caesarean section, especially since the fetus is in breech position. Normally he would be pretty confident in his skills but there is too much on the line for him and this stops him from staying as level-headed as he would like. The little girl he pulls out from your womb during the surgery is worringly small even if she is a prematurely born baby. The most difficult step should have been overcome but instead dread fills him when he notices that she isn't breathing. Suddenly he feels like he is carrying the weight of the world on his shoulders as he spends minutes trying to keep the baby alive until his daughter finally manages to breathe independently and starts weakly crying and even then he can't allow himself to relax. Neither you nor the baby are out of health risks after all.

☕​You are quite weakened after the difficult pregnancy and the surgery and it takes you a few weeks until you feel somewhat healthy enough again to walk longer distances without any help and do certain tasks without experiencing any pain. Just because you can theoretically do it though doesn't mean by a long shot that Reiji will let you. He has become overly cautious after the birth. He's extremely skittish whenever he monitors the health of the baby due to her breathing issues upon birth and worried for any lasting damage she might have suffered due to her restricted development in your womb. You find yourself spending the first few weeks after the surgery mostly spending time with your daughter whilst Reiji is doing everything else. He monitors the health of his darling and their daughter, he cooks for his s/o and he assists whenever and however he can. He feels stressed out even after the condition of you and the baby stabilize because in his mind he can't stop agonizing over the fact that he could do little to nothing to help you in any way.

Carla Tsukinami

🔮​If you wind up being Carla's darling and can biologically bear children, prepare yourself for giving him a child. Carla expects his darling to give him a healthy and strong heir and there will be no room for discussion. You will bear him his child and you will be a good and attentive mother to his baby. All of this happens only after Carla has already broken your mind down enough for you to be completely putty in his hold. Pregnancy is the final step, the final claim he can lay on you to mark you for all eternity as his and at that point you will happily accept his wish of wanting a baby with you. You love him after all and you're sure that you'll love a child with the same golden eyes as his just as much. It is extremely pleasing to see your quick embrace of the idea and he wastes very little time after he has told you about his plans to see it through that you are pregnant as soon as possible. It doesn't take long for him until he senses the new life deep within your womb. He couldn't be more pleased in that moment.

🔮​Similar to Reiji, Carla will be very controlling as soon as he has confirmed that you are expecting his heir. You are always kept within his vicinity and you aren't allowed to go anywhere without informing him. He wouldn't want anything to happen to you, especially with his brother around. That rarely happens though as you are pretty obedient and listen to him which means that you allow him to lead you outside and go for a walk. You feel pretty sick quite often and spend a lot of time on the toilet whenever nausea grabs a hold of you. Shin has made fun of you once when he saw you hanging over the toilet which struck the wrong cord in you in that moment and actually led you to shed tears of shame. You only know that Carla wasn't too pleased when you started crying because of Shin and told you that he'd talk with his brother. Ever since Shin has been trying his best to not say anything within your presence although he looks like he has a lot of snarky stuff he could say. You spend a large amount of time only with Carla though, basking in his affection and joy due to your pregnancy.

🔮​As soon as your bump really starts showing is when other symptoms start to appear. Your hunger increases significantly as soon as the baby bump shows and this makes it difficult for you since Carla has put you on a diet to keep you and the baby healthy. You have troubles keeping your temper under control when he initially always denies you your cravings but you try your best to stay quiet. Until the intense craving for blood starts one day and you start feeling sluggish and weak. That is when Carla starts paying more attention to your cravings. You’re only human, you would under normal conditions never want to consume blood. Is it the baby that makes you crave blood? He has obviously speculated how a pregnancy with a vampire baby would go for your mortal body but speculations don’t necessarily have to line up with the reality. He decides to give in to your new cravings this time as he notices how your energy gets drained. The blood seems to replenish your energy for a while.

🔮The bigger the baby swells though, the more it seems to drain your energy. You grow more tired and exhausted with each month that passes by no matter how much blood Carla lets you consume or how much you eat. Very little of the food you digest is actually used for your own energy as the baby seems to take all the nutrients it needs and leaves very little for you. You lose weight and feel dizzy and exhausted whilst the baby is thriving. Soon it starts getting so bad that you can’t even walk properly on your own anymore without the danger of collapsing. Carla has to assist you even when you go to the toilet and despite your weak protest and tears of shame, he doesn’t allow you anything anymore without his help. The baby sucks everything out of you, he can see your clear struggle everyday as your energy drops and your pain increases due to the heavy weight of the baby inside of you and its strong kicks that feel like it’ll burst out of you any moment. The closer you get to your due date, the weaker and thinner you become. This isn’t good.

🔮Miraculously you make it to your due date until your water breaks but it comes with a heavy price. You’re exhausted, you’re tired and you barely have any energy left to even push properly. All of this is made even worse by the fact that the baby has grown a lot whilst it was protected inside of you. They are big which makes the entire process even more arduous as your body tries its hardest to squeeze the infant out of your body and down your birth channel. When the shoulders of the baby get stuck though and prevent you from giving birth to the baby, everything takes quickly a turn for the worse. Nothing seems to help. That’s when Carla takes action, fully aware that being stuck could end up harming the baby. You can vaguely recall the burning feeling when he abruptly reaches his hand out into your vagina in an attempt to turn the baby around. It’s a painful and uncomfortable feeling that is the final push you need before you finally succumb to unconsciousness which leaves Carla alone to guide the baby out of your body.

🔮You suffer from a fourth-degree tear and malnutrition for weeks after birth which leaves you completely bedridden under Carla’s guidance. His son on the other hand suffered from fractures to his upper arm bone. All of this is rather upsetting and frustrating to Carla who didn’t expect a shoulder dystocia to occur during the birth of his own heir. He spends nearly all of his time in his chambers where he nurses you and the baby back to health. Shin rarely runs into his older brother for that reason. Every time he does spot Carla, he’s always tempted to ask him mockingly how you and his nephew are doing, considering that you went through all of this hell only because of Carla’s wish for an heir. The piercing glare Carla gives him whenever he opens his mouth to ask that question keeps him from doing so though. The younger Tsukinami brother isn’t allowed to visit you and the little boy either, especially not when neither of you has fully recovered. Until that day comes, no one will see you two.

Kibutsuji Muzan

🩸​There have never been any records of demons and humans procreating. If there would have been, Muzan as the King of Demons would have known about it. Technically speaking he has no real need nor any interest in any children of his own. He doesn't need any heir for he is immortal and doesn't plan to ever give up his position to anyone else for he plans to become the perfect existence. Perhaps there is a spark of curiosity though as soon as he has you in his life as it is a thought that often crosses his mind when he dumps his cum inside of you. He has a fondness for science after all but none of it has ever led him to actively try for a baby with you. Then one day he senses the little heartbeat inside of you, senses the new life that has been spawned in your womb. Whilst he isn't actively thrilled about the pregnancy and might even consider an abortion, ultimately it is his scientific interest that manages to stop him from removing the thing from you. A part of him hopes that this child will be able to develop an immunity against the sun due to being only a half demon.

🩸​Since Muzan has always gotten his way with you, you are left with little to no choice but accept his decision to keep the child for now. Your feelings about the little baby currently developing inside of you are confusing as you despise him for forcing you to keep it. Yet you bow down in fear whenever you are faced with his displeasure when he sees you expressing those feelings and thoughts in front of him. This little life inside of you has been directly created by him and perhaps this plays a large fact in why he won't tolerate you thinking about it in such a way. Because the baby will have more from him than any of the demons he has created throughout his entire life. Muzan views himself in the highest light, as a near god, so something that will have his genetics must be strong too. You don't seem to realize that your unwillingness to embrace the thought of having his child will only make him more determined to keep it since he won't allow you to reject something that has been directly created by him.

🩸​Too prideful to show any lingering questions he has in regards of the unique biology his baby will have due to being created by a demon and a human, Muzan just monitors your pregnancy very closely. Partially because of his fascination to finally know that such a pregnancy will be like and partially because he doesn't know what might happen. It is this selfish mindset that soon leads you down a path of misery. Your body is unable to handle the creature inside your womb that seems to suck out all the energy and proteins meant for you whenever you force something down your throat despite your growing nausea. The growth spurt the baby has is abnormal for the first few months but all of this comes with the cost of your own decline of health. Everything is painful and everything is tiring and the little baby is incredibly strong starting from their first kicks. At this rate it is already far too late for Muzan to do anything. Through your pain and your exhaustion you sometimes bitterly blame him for what he puts you through but you never get any apology from him and you know exactly why. He would never admit it after all.

🩸​Then everything suddenly stops though. The growth of your bump and the kicks and hits of the baby inside. There is suddenly no movement anymore at all and despite your not so positive feelings, you slowly start to worry about it. Your own condition isn't improving too greatly though as your food either gets thrown up by you or still seems to be received by the fetus instead. Muzan has already noticed it too. He can still sense the heartbeat within but to his own growing dread it seems to get weaker by the days. His mind is racing as to why and the steadily weakening condition of you and the baby only seem to be a reminder that the time he has to find a solution is limited. Eventually he starts considering that the baby you bear is technically still a demon too. He starts considering that the baby might have reached a phase within their development where the current food you consume isn't sufficient enough anymore. Maybe they need some human flesh. Even though you refuse when he first brings up his theory, Muzan doesn't care as he shoves it from that day on down your throat and to his satisfaction his idea was right.

🩸​Yet he can't enjoy the fact that his theory was right for too long. Your body, unable to handle the large amount of energy and nutrition the baby steals from it, goes into premature and sudden labor in the seventh month. Neither of you two two are prepared for it and even the baby seems to be unhappy about your body giving up on them as they start making a ruckus inside your womb, only adding to the pain you are already feeling. Muzan is unable to calm the irritated baby down. Everything happens too fast for him to even prepare anything. Your body is in a rush to expel the baby from inside you and their frequent and wild movement only cause them to slide down your birth channel faster. The frequent activity of your baby soon comes to a hold though. Their umbilical cord got flattened and Muzan is met with deafening silence when the bloody infant lays in his arms. It is this silence that makes him suddenly lose his composure as the motionless child reminds him vividly of his own birth. Not his own child too. He spends minutes frantically reanimating the infant before she finally lets out her first weak cries.

🩸If your own condition should have worsened any more, Muzan probably would have turned you into a demon. Somehow your fragile body pulled through though and in a way he’s relieved about that. Because for now it would be more beneficial to let you stay human and care for the little girl you gave birth to. With her black hair and her red and bleary eyes she looks a lot like Muzan and perhaps it’s her visible similarity to him that fills his heart with pride. She recovers quicker than you from her troublesome birth, probably because she is half demon. Her appetite is as insatiable as it was during her time in your womb though and to your slight horror she still has her preferences to the taste of human blood and flesh together with your breastmilk. Muzan gives her what you don’t want to give her as he has realized that she probably needs the different nutrients to develop properly just like she needed whilst being in your belly. Now that the baby is born, he forbids you from expressing any hesitation and confusion when you’re taking care of her. This girl is his own flesh and blood and he won’t tolerate you not loving her who is so much like him.

Tsugikuni Yoriichi

☀️Pregnancy should be a joyful occasion for parents yet despite the expected happiness and joy Yoriichi feels when it becomes known that you are expecting his child, there is also a gnawing fear that haunts him. He can't help but recall the heart-wrenching fate that befell Uta and the unborn baby. Even if he has you now in his life, this is a memory he is unable to forget as he often still blames himself for their deaths through the hand of a demon. The slow growth of your bump triggers those haunting memories and sometimes he dreams of the same scene he saw when he returned home to Uta, only that it is now your body torn apart with the precious child murdered before it even had the chance to live. Yoriichi becomes very protective and paranoid over you as he doesn't think that he could bear a repeat of what has already once happened to him. There is always this underlying fear and paranoia that make him much more aware of his surroundings even as he rejoices when he witnesses the first kicks of his baby. His katana is always kept close, especially when night comes where he finds himself often lying awake.

☀️​As winter is already awaiting, Yoriichi makes an effort to keep you warm and protected and your home as cozy as possible. He never leaves you as soon as the sun goes down as he now knows better. All tasks are usually finished within the day so that he can stay by your side and protect you as soon as it gets dark. Despite his efforts to always keep you warm and healthy though, you seem to catch a cold. It is nothing to be worried over though. You have a light headache, your throat hurts whenever you swallow and you cough. You are not really worried though and even assure Yoriichi that it'll pass by soon. Despite feeling already a bit more fatigued due to your pregnancy and now your illness, you still feel fine. You decide to stay inside nevertheless as he fetches you a doctor to monitor your condition. After all you know of his loss of his first pregnant wife so you try to make him feel better and calmer by letting a doctor tell him that you are fine and that you will be fit in a few days again. When Yoriichi returns with the doctor, you feel slightly febrile.

☀️​What should have been only a mild cold soon turns into a serious condition though. Maybe it is because you are pregnant and are just more prone to bacteria yet such explanations do nothing to help Yoriichi's terrified heart. Despite your weak protests to leave the room so he doesn't catch what you have, he stays faithfully with you as your fever soon feels like it is burning your skin and sweat coats your skin. Every swallow is a small challenge as it brings you uncomfortable pain and you are often thrown into coughing fits, your throat coated with phlegm and constantly itching in a dry way. With your worse condition, Yoriichi has asked the doctor to come by every day. He does whatever he can do to help you. He cooks for you and feeds you even if you should have no hunger or simply feel too tired and he heads the advices of the doctor when giving you the medicine that should help your condition. His chest is tight with fear and worry as he feels anxious whenever he sees your bump and wonders how your sick body may also negatively impact the baby.

☀️​Perhaps it is just his fate to watch helplessly as he loses everyone he loves in his life. First his brother, then Uta and his unborn child and now you and the baby you are carrying. Yoriichi can only watch helplessly how you grow weaker and weaker as the days pass by. Your lips are chappy and dry and your skin coated in ill sweat as your whole body is uncomfortably hot due to your fever. Yet even in this condition you try to soothe Yoriichi in his silent despair and promise him that it'll soon get better even as he has to support your weak body when you want to walk around. Your sick appearance always tears his heart apart, his sorrow growing by the day yet he tries to stay strong for you. But this thin threat snaps when your contractions start at only 30 weeks. His whole body is shaking and silent tears cascade down his face as a the doctor and a midwife he brought with him try their best to help you to deliver the baby. He feels small, insignificant and terrifyingly helpless as he stays by your side and with every scream and cry you let out he thinks he is more desrving of death for not being able to save anyone in his life.

☀️​Even after you have made it through birth and have delivered a little boy does his torment continue. Your health plummets down after labor as your body is left severely weakened after the physical exertion that leaves you in a nearly unconscious state as you are too exhausted and sick to even leave. Your sickness soon spreads out to his newborn son and even if his heart is already tattered and torn enough, Yoriichi only continues to suffer. Wherever he goes, he is only reminded of his cursed fate. He spends his time either catering to your needs, his heart screaming whenever you ask in your weak condition for your son or he silently watches over the baby whose little body is desperately battling against the deadly cold. He is too terrified to fall asleep anymore at night, too afraid to wake up one morning to your cold body or to the motionless body of his baby. Instead he lays awake at night, his heart beating anxiously as he listens to your troubled breaths and the breaths of the little baby. Sometimes it becomes too much for him and he is left muffling his sobs with his hand at night.

☀️​Many days pass before you finally start feeling better. You're still feeling slightly feverish but you are able to move by yourself anymore. Yoriichi, who is feeling an overwhelming urge to hug you, kiss you and show you how grateful he is that you are still alive, has to hold himself back as you aren't fully cured yet and still need recovery. You're finally able to interact with your son and the sight of you holding the child that both of you created is a small remedy for his bruised and broken heart, even if the baby is also still sick. He slowly starts recovering though together with you as he receives all the love and care he could possibly get from you, Yoriichi and the doctor. It still takes weeks until his son as well as you are fully recovered and well again and for the first time in a while he feels like he can see the light again. Despite his own exhaustion and tiredness from all his fear he is especially attentive and loving with you and his little son. He just wants the both of you to know how much it really means to him that both of you are still alive and with him.

[xixovart]

my rrverse headcanons that i will save in my drafts until it explodes

possible tw for mentions of weaponry and violence!! (bullet point no.5)

nico with heterochromia?? im?

a LOT of aphrodite kids are pansexual. somethinf about love knowing no bounds or restrictions to gender because love is a connection to the soul or whatever

actually on that idea a lot of aphrodite kids are under the non binary umbrella :)

spreading the deaf will solace agenda

annabeth goes to a shooting range to relieve stress

she got that from thalia

i just need you to picture how unbelievably destroyed thalia must’ve been when they told her about luke.

alex fierro really likes cupcakes. but he’s like. ashamed of it?? for some reason

one time magnus walked in on her while she was eating some red velvet? hilarious interaction.

“magnus it’s not what ir looks like i swear.”

”what? you use someone’s blood to make those?”

rip bianca di angelo you would’ve loved ratatouille. i don’t know.

kayla really likes mac n cheese. i really don’t know.

chris wnd beckendorf have an unmatched ‘our gfs are best friends but ngl we’re kinda gay for each other’ bromance

percy is REAAALLLYYY good at makeup

thalia is surprisingly good at volleyball?

frank once accidentally knocked down an entire grocery store isle… somehow.

hazel really likes ladybugs

“long day?” “tell me about it. keep em coming.” except it’s kayla pouring will grape soda into a wine glass when they were 12 after a day in the infirmary

unpopular opinion: will relentlessly finds loopholes for rules (and sometimes blatantly breaks them) while nico hates rule-breaking. one was raised in rich 1940s europe and the other is texan. guess who.

annabeth and will bonded over their shared love of true crime podcasts

hazel gossips like a hairstylist

“don’t look at me like that, you’re not my real dad 😒” -11 year old annabeth to chiron after the ares cabin caught fire “unexpectedly. somehow. for no reason.”

percy used to swims in fountains and steals people’s coins

piper blasts chappell roan at unhealthy volumes. so does will. they bond over that

zoë nightshade was in the theater abe lincoln was killed in. don’t know where this came from.

piper and leo were the most chaotic duo that wilderness school ever bore witness to. there were several science room “accidents.” and the food in the kitchens went missing every week “unexpectedly”

magnus hearth and blitz used to sit on rooftops and throw water balloons at tourists. fathers-son bonding i lobe them

frank likes tarzan and kung fu panda an unhealthy amount (he was a horrible influence on hazel)

hazel once made random hand signals at a boy who was bothering her told him she cursed him

bianca was surprisingly good at sports?

thalia had to put saran wrap on every outlet in the house for two months when jason was a year old because he would NOT stop sticking his fingers in them

reyna cannot cook. she only knows how to make a surprisingly good lemonade. it’s insane.

hedge, on the other hand, is a freaking chef. he’s like the love child of a really smart goat and gordon ramsay

annabeth and thalia are both master pickpockets because of their time on the road

luke had a soft spot for gummy bears

silena was very calm and collected but the SECOND this girl stepped FOOT in a rage room she lost her SHIR

mallory hates math. like actually loathes math.

magnus is math smart and mallory is english smart

(book 1) halfborn and magnus are the prank lords of floor 19

alex joined them the second he showed up (he destroyed half the hotel withing his first 24 minutes there? duh?)

cecil hates twizzlers

lou ellen cecil and will are VERY competitive go kart-ers

rachel and hazel are artist buddies and go on drawing dates

chiron gets father’s day presents

someone proposed the idea of achilles and patroclus training nico post-ttc and pre-botl???? stop right now im losing my mind i love this

spreading the multilingual nico agenda

mr. d gave will his tattoo

grover and percy unironically watch rom coms every saturday while eating vegan candy and cry for the characters

grover and rachel’s friendship is INCREDIBLY??? underrated

i think we forget that grover bianca and nico went to school together and bianca and grover were friends. imagine the chaos.

lester and kayla had regular arm wrestling matches (kayla always won btw)

whenever austin’s mad at his cabinmates he wakes them up at the asscrack of drawn by playing we are the champions on his flute.

idk why but malcolm seems very gumball coded.

“wait, where are you going?” “to the brony convention in lietchenstein. where do you think im going????” -canon conversation between malcolm and annabeth

wasian grace siblings wasian grace siblings wasian grace siblings.

ethan is a really bad liar in non-greek related matters

will’s love language is that he points at literally the two most random things and says “us” to nico

“nico look it’s us!! :D” “solace those are two dead leaves on the floor” “yeah but they’re next to each other :)”

sally knows taekwondo. no one knows when or how she learned, she just does and it’s terrifying

alabaster is a plant mom

dakota seems like the type of kid to slump so deep in a chair that he ends up falling off. and then he just like. lays there.

castor and pollux have a concerning attraction to fire

travis stoll likes strawberries :)

connor stoll chunks strawberries at travis from half a km away and calls is “aiming practice”

katie has the temper of a chihuahua

(post-tlo) percy and clarisse pretend to hate each other but they’re actually friends who fight like siblings and it’s surprisingly endearing?

[oleander-nin]

Wolf In Sheep's Clothing(Yan! ROTTMNT x defiant reader)

A/N, not important: I just assumed 'dangerous' meant they fought back(aka, defiant). Also I wrote this in math class lmao. Any criticism is welcome, constructive or not. This is supposed to be a gender neutral reader, so if I screwed up somewhere, please tell me.

-Ollie

Tw: drugging(Donnie), kidnapping, manipulation, harm to reader, breaking bones, threatening nature, unconsentual touching(non-sexual), dark themes, abusive themes, food restriction/forced starvation as punishment, yandere themes

Words: 1244

Summary: The Yan ROTTMNT boys deal with a reader who's personality switches from sugary sweet to downright defiant.

Mikey:

He’s severely disappointed after he kidnaps you and you start to snap back. He tries to fall into his personas and talk it through with you, but gets severely frustrated at your pushback. He nearly cries when you try to hurt him.

He chains you to him, not wanting to be far from you. He’s convinced you’re just scared, and that you need reassurance. If you’re always with him, he can give it at a moment's notice.

He tries to win you over with food. You’re constantly fed your favorites and pampered to no end by him. Anything you want, he’ll try and get. He wants to bribe his way back into your heart, not seeing a single thing wrong with how he’s acting.

When you start to get heated, he pulls you close and wraps his chains around you to keep you from lashing out. He just situates you on the couch or his bed depending on where you both are and cuddles you until you calm down. He’ll make you sit with him for hours if he deems it necessary.

Freaks out everytime you try to hit him. He tries to convince himself it’s an accident for months. You’re so sweet, you would never do something like that to him. Once he realizes you’re lashing out and trying to hit him on purpose? He gets pissed.

He’ll strip you of all your old luxuries, taking away something you enjoy with every hit. Soon you’re not allowed any entertainment other than Mikey, being left with nothing to do but talk to him. He gives you less complicated meals, serving you the same thing he makes for the rest of his family instead of whatever you’re craving.

And if your anger still persists? He’ll tie you down and keep you isolated, only letting you see him and be in his room. He’ll break you down eventually, and he’s willing to wait.

Donnie:

Is completely unimpressed with your change in attitude. He treats you more as an unruly child than a person with valid feelings and wants. If you start complaining about a rule he set, he’ll just reexplain his reasons and shut you down when you argue. He’s the genius, he’s the one in the right.

Tries to keep you under check and placate you swiftly. He doesn’t want to deal with this version of you, he wants his love back. He’ll stop at nothing to get you back.

He’ll try setting up a reward system at first, wanting to not go straight into punishments. You’ve only been here for a few days, so he assumes you just don’t know better. He’ll reward what he deems as good behavior with sweets, time with him, or time doing your own thing. He wants to keep you happy and stimulated so you’ll appreciate him.

Drugs you the first time you try to fight him. He’ll experiment with different doses until he’s keeping you under some drug almost 24/7. If you won’t listen, he’ll just fix you himself. By keeping you too tired to fight back, he finds it much easier to hold you and love you. He’s able to keep you under his thumb fairly easily.

Takes you off the drugs once a week to see how much progress you made. If you’re still too much of a hassle, he’ll drug you again and wait a while. He doesn’t want to rush it.

Isn’t afraid to break a few fingers if you keep trying to fight. He’ll make you sick or break a leg once you get too unruly for his tastes. He’s not one to let bad behavior slide.

He’ll slowly work at making you calmer, trying to bring you back to your old personality. He loves you and is willing to work with you, wanting to bring you back to your old self. He isn’t going to lose you.

Raph:

He didn’t expect a thing. You were always so sweet, he was astonished when he saw how hard you were fighting him. Your constant punches and harsh words made him upset. He thought this would be a smooth transition, and he was harshly mistaken.

He tries so hard not to snap back. Seeing you fight him despite having almost no chance of winning was amusing at first, especially with your kind demeanor, but he can only take so much.

He’ll keep you tied and gagged in an attempt to keep the fighting down. He’ll pretend you’re fine, that you weren’t hurtling insults and curses at him just moments before.

If you actually get a hit on him, he’ll go quiet. He’ll throw you in his room and keep it locked, leaving you alone for hours on end. He doesn’t want to hurt you, but you make it so hard to hold himself back.

But if he loses his temper, and isn’t able to walk away? You’re going to find just how hard a genetically modified weapon of war can punch. He’ll probably break your arm by accident, not even noticing. He’ll grab you and yell, his grip getting tighter without him noticing. He doesn’t let go until you’re sobbing on the floor.

He really didn’t mean to hurt you, honest. Just listening to you tell him how much you hated him day after day made him snap. He can still take care of you, he just needs you to accept your place with him.

He’s constantly paranoid about you escaping. You’re too volatile to be trusted, so you’re either in his sight, or locked down tight. He’d be devastated to lose you. He just wants you to love him, and go back the way you were. You might want to hurry up though. Raph isn’t known for his patience.

Leo:

He knew it would happen and saw the signs. During his months of stalking, he saw how you got when you felt threatened or spited. He was prepared for the backlash when he took you. He was ready to smother the fire out.

He tries to give you a decent amount of leeway with your insults. He’s hurt you would say all these things, but he’s hoping if he shows he’s not a threat, you’ll calm down. Until you start fighting physically.

The first time you try to punch Leo, you're not allowed to eat for three days. He ties your arms behind your back and holds you close, squeezing tighter in warning every time you try to squirm away. He wants you to feel safe with him, but he refuses to let you steamroll over him. He’s ready to fight back.

If you ever get a good hit, or try to majorly harm him, he’ll break your hand. He’s tired of your resistance, and just wants you to love him. If you fearing him gives him an opening to your heart, he’ll jump for it. He’s not too picky about how you fall in love, just that you do.

Is constantly holding you or touching you. He’s treating you like a feral cat, trying to get you used to him by exposure. In his mind, you’re just frightened, so if he can get you used to him and his presence, you’ll soften back up.

Guilt trips and gaslights you to no end. He’s constantly telling you how he’s in the right, and that he’s only punishing you because of your behavior. He promises he’ll be sweeter once you do the same.

[skzloversblogsposts]

Eat well and live well [l.f][a][f] TW MENTIONS OF STRUGGLING WITH FOOD ETC

TW: mentions of struggling with food and eating , reader suffers and goes through body image issues as well as coping with them ( destructive behaviours) bigger reader

An: I think it’s important that we all sit back every now and again and tell ourselves that we’re beautiful inside and out , it’s so easy to get caught up in life and forget to value ourselves and ultimately ending up being overly critical so if you haven’t told yourself that you’re beautiful or you haven’t heard it yet , take it from me you’re absolutely gorgeous, stunning and please never doubt it 💕

“ no no you can’t eat that think of how awful it would make you look “ “dont you even think about eating anything now you at a few hours ago””if you just lost a few pounds you’d have guys lining up at your door “” it’s not a big deal I’m just being honest with you , you’ve gained a few “

The water in the pot placed on the stove boiled , its savoury flavoured broth causing the room to be enveloped in its scent . You watched as the bubbles rose and fell patiently waiting to pop your cluster of noodles in to the hot water. The weather was cold , the sky hung gray and the windows steaming up from the indoor heating blocking out the cold . Winter was your favourite always had been . From the fallen leaves covering the sidewalks in an array of what was once greenand lush now brown and dried to the icy wind nipping at you cheeks gracing them in a crimson hue , it all felt so comforting but the best will always be the warm baggy clothing , concealing all your flaws trapping you in a sheet of unexposure shielding your body from the harsh words of those around you .

Growing up bigger than others is never easy , constantly being on a diet , restricting foods you love and having to wear certain clothes as a child is enough to leave any kid confused but having to carry those same insecurities and rituals into adult hood seems almost foolish , but here you stand infront of the stove in deep though of whether you should eat the bowl of noodles or not . You sigh grabbing the pot and chucking the soupy liquid down the drain.

Your shoes hit harshly against the pavement as you ran , late for your only chance to catch a bus to work , the commute being longer making it harder for you to walk there . Arriving at the bus stop you crouched down your head pounding and your heart laboring in your chest as the dizziness hit you in waves leaving you unsteady on the side walk panting in heaves . Your body rocked forward slightly startled by the warm hand pressed against your lower back , you blinked haphazardly trying to vanquish the fuzzy shapes that appeared to cloud your eyesight “are you alright ?” He spoke his low voice soft and welcoming as he gently rubbed circles on your back . Your breathing uneven as you stood up , a sheen of sweat covering your worn out body as you took in his appearance , he smiled sweetly urging you to respond “ I’m okay thank you for asking” you said . His eyes widened as he looked at his hand pressed so lovingly to yourside soothing the exhaustion your body expelled “ sorry ,” he chuckled removing its warmth “ you don’t look too good… are you sure you’re alright?” He asked his voice filled with concern noticing your frail trembling hand filling with the hem of your scarf . You nodded casting your gaze away from him and onto your approaching bus .

You stared into the mirror your face paler than it usual your eyes bloodshot and sunken making you appear sick , you weren’t sick , hungry , tried , nauseated and a little hot but sick wasn’t the right word , you just had to hold out a little longer and maybe you’d feel better , you splashed water on your face the droplets easing the heat you felt as you continued on with your day .

The streets never failed you when it came to good food it’s vicinity coated in vendors selling delicious items filling the air with its lovely scent inviting customer and peaking people’s hunger . Your mother never bothered to listen to your requests , as you pulled on her sleeve “ can we get this please it looks yummy “ your younger self expressed pointing to the saucy skewers laden with meat and veggies , she sighed “ you’re not eating anything , you had so much already what are you trying to get bigger? Isn’t it embarrassing enough to have you look the way you do now ? “ she spat .

You clutched onto the strap of your bag as you walked through the smells of the various items awakening your already hungry tummy and churning your nausea. Your eyes stayed steadfast on the ground as you walked past everything determined to get home to the solitude of your confinement where you could be left alone without any distractions . Your head met with the chest of another as he gently grasped your shoulder halting your movement ending the collision between you two , he smiled your eyes narrowed in on him recognizing his features “you’re the girl from this morning right , wow ! what a coincidence!” His eyes crinkled warm laugh filling his chest , you smiled politely watching as he placed a polystyrene container infront of you “ I just got these they’re fresh off the grill we could share them , I mean I did bump into you it would be a shame not to indulge in this coincidence “ he smiled showing off the skewers the meat and vegetables coated in a moutheatering sauce .

Felix sat you down on the bench after introducing himself , the river I front covered in a warm light from the tiny sail boats as he spoke about where he’s from and what he does for a living and occasionally humming as you spoke about yourself, your tummy rumbled filling the comfortable silence you had now created with the stranger you had met “ you haven’t had any” he said gesturing to the food you two promised to share “oh I’m not hungry “ you said smiling at the end “ you sure ..?” Felix spoke noting your rumbling tummy “uh huh I ate a while ago “ you said your lie leaving a bitter after taste in your mouth causing the guilt to wash over you , Felix was a complete stranger you shouldn’t feel guilty about lying to him especially over something so trivial. Maybe it was because he felt so comforting and warm easing your worries with his words or maybe you felt like you were betraying yourself , depriving yourself of your basic needs neglecting any self awareness you had.

Felix who was once a stranger , coursing you out of a dizzy spell now three months later sat on the carpet of your apartment , pizza box placed on the table while you retrieved plates from your kitchen making it a point to drink a glass or two of water before , he smiled cracking open a can of soda as you placed the plates down steadying your legs as you sat down next to him placing too much of pressure on your wrists causing you to wince “ are you okay? Did you get hurt ?“ Felix asked jumping ever so slightly to examine you “no no no I’m alright “ you said “ just a little cramp “ your words leaving your mouth as you pressed on your wrist interchangeably hoping to ease the pain that the tired sore muscles were feeling . Felix nodded seemingly understanding as he opened the pizza box , the smell of cheese and pepperoni filling your apartment , Felix placed a slice in your plate and one in his , eyes fixating on the movie you bother agreed to watch . You looked down at the triangle placed so perfectly on your plate . It’s grease rising through the cheese coating it in a delicious sheen as you moved it about the plate avoiding picking it up .

Felix sighed half way through the movie and turning to face you “yn..” he spoke his voice low as his gaze slowly shifted to yours “ why aren’t you eating ..? “ his curious eyes searching yours for an explanation as you placed the plate on the table “ I’m just not hungry that’s all “ your words untrue , Felix knew they weren’t true , he knew that all too well “ you’re not hungry?” He spoke “ did you eat something before? “ he asked . Your mouth ran dry as you looked at him his face stoic as he asked you questions which seems so simple to answer but carried enormous weight “ I had something a while ago” you lied “what did you have ?“ he asked “ uhm- I -uhm it was a uhm …“ your words trembling unable to form a sentence

“ the truth please “ Felix spoke his gaze softening at your unsteady voice “ I don’t remember “ your voice thick with disappointment “what do you mean you don’t remember?” Felix asked gently taking your hand in his “I don’t remember because I haven’t really eaten anything” it was simple really , the truth but why did you feel so ashamed , so guilty watching Felix’s facial expression fall as he grasped your hand tighter “ I know that feeling all too well yn “ his word soft “ I’ve noticed don’t think I haven’t , I’ve noticed the way your eyes dull at the mentions of food

Or how your hands shake slightly over the dishes placed so perfectly infront of you or how you discard your leftovers claiming to be full as you throw away a full plates of food “ he shuffled closer to you gently tilting your chin up to meet him “ I know why you’re doing this I’ve been there too, too many times to count , too many times to ask for help , I know what it’s like and I know it’s hard but I can’t stand back and watch you do this to yourself , watch you destroy the beautiful person I met “ his hand cupped your cheek “ the person who’s so perfect in every way possible that it pains me to think about how you don’t see it “ your eyes prickled with tears “ I know what a battle it is and I know how you’ve been silently fighting it , fighting yourself but please don’t do this to yourself it’s not worth the trouble , I want you to be happy , to be healthy , to eat well and to live well too even if it means I have to get you the help you deserve I’m willing to do so “ he spoke “ I’m willing to risk it all for you ..for us ..” he mumbled watching as your eyes sparkled with tears slowly trickling down onto his hands , your salty wetness streaking down earning a kiss to your cheek

“You’re everything I’ve ever wanted in every way possible , please don’t ever let anything make you feel otherwise you’re beautiful ..”

[jihyoruri]

okay I NEED to talk abt this bc richgirlyn is literally me FORREAL 

so uhh not the analysis I thought I’d be doing but I need to. the other one will be later 

ok tw for eds I guess like this is the entire analysis 

disclaimer. this is all my interpretation as well as my experience. I’ve had an issues w eating since 8 (almost twins!) and it’s been literal years. this is just what I think based on what I’VE seen and done as a girl. I know men can have ed’s but I will be talking abt it from my standpoint, which is hashtag girl. everyone’s experience is different.

key: ana=anorexia, ed=eating disorder 

Ive never dealt with real bulimia so take whatever I say with a grain of salt

okay. here’s why richgirlyn having an ed, specifically how she develops ana as she gets older makes a lot of sense (Ive had a fixation on eds and the way they affect the mind for so long..)

i feel like people forget just how genuinely maddening have an eating disorder is.

most of the time in movies they’re there for laughs and portrayed as “oh she just kinda throws up!”  (heathers, the musical) or “oh she wants to be skinny so bad she js doesn’t eat!” (mean girls) (I love both of them btw they’re just what come to mind)

like that is not what they are like AT ALL

eating disorders are some of the most deadly mental illness there is and because it mostly affects teenage girls and women people literally treat it like something not that serious or a joke it’s actually insane how people do not gaf about it

so anyway.

I feel like if children have issues with food they always start out thinking of purging

it makes sense! if you don’t want calories, just get rid of them.

obviously, it doesn’t work that way, and purging doesn’t even actually work well LMAO most of the calories are absorbed unless u throw up like the second food enters ur mouth like it is not foolproof at all.

but to a child it makes sense. the food is gone so you can’t gain weight

and when you’re a kid your gag reflex is way more sensitive so it’s way easier to vomit. when you get older it’s so much harder

bulimia is not really possible long term for idols because of its side effects which are:

erosion of tooth enamel making them appear clear other than white

sunken in, bulging eyes

swollen cheeks

hair loss 

GERD

also for the fact it doesn’t really help much with not absorbing the calories + the fact that it affects the appearance, which idols need to be perfect, + the fact that it affects your voice, which idols need, and also throwing up is difficult 

much more common in idols is anorexia.

so! actually the side effects of ana aren’t as noticeable if you’re not restricting a lot! at about 700-800 calories max a day I didn’t experience hair loss or getting spots on my skin

It was mostly that I was just tired all the time and kind of irritable. i never experienced any physical effects other than losing weight (didn’t lose much muscle bc most of the cals were protein and I worked out everyday)

anyway

richgirlyn definitely likes control.

we can see how control has been taken from her time and time again— mostly by her dad, making all the decisions while she doesn’t get a say, and later, how her members and the people around her treat her.

eds are about control more than looks. It’s the one safety net, the one thing you can always be good at.

when everything around you is falling apart— you can control what you eat. it’s like an accomplishment. look how low I got the number! I’m so good at this! I’m so disciplined!

It’s like. “no one could ever get as low as me”. It makes you weirdly competitive 

and obviously there’s pressure to be skinny as a trainee. It’s what half of your self worth is based on. so if you can control that? and punish yourself (because as we’ve discussed richgirlyn does NAWT like herself that much) while you’re at it? It’s literally gold

she practices and practices, trying to be good enough, the best, and she doesn’t want to eat. eating is kind of like admitting defeat and saying you’re weak and giving in to the need to have food. 

oh and y’all don’t KNOW what mommy issues do with an ed like.

if losing weight makes someone PROUD? oh you KNOW you’re dropping to size 0 trust like it’s actually insane. I can’t even explain the real insanity that comes with an ed it makes you actually crazy. you start becoming afraid of certain numbers because they look bigger even if it’s not how it works. ex: it’s better to eat 98 cal than 50 because 98 feels “smaller” like it’s CRAZY. the state of mind you have when you’re doing that is really seriously not normal like I know it’s obvious but people don’t GET IT. you become very obsessive and cagey over it like if you eat over a certain limit you will literally either break down or get up and go work out until you think you’re back under and the guilt eats you up inside. richgirlyn is SAUR MEEEE FOR REAL

so ANYWAY richgirlyn having an ed makes sense. specifically ana.

she likes control, she wants something to feel proud about (along with her singing and dancing and rapping abilities), it’s something her mom’s PRAISED HER FOR so you already KNOW when her mom is like “wowww you’ve lost weight!” she is like I’m gonna get so much worse.

and also there has to be a part of her that wants someone to worry. i know she hates being seen as weak but I just know minjeong saying smth like “oh I wondered how u stay thin it’s cause u js don’t eat” made her feel so validated because it’s proof that she’s sick and she’s not okay and she’s not making it up.

I’m very sure her being well off has completely fucked with the idea of her being “allowed” to feel negative emotions. like “I’m rich, I shouldn’t be sad” but with any negative emotion.

and I know she was getting better until she got put in le sserafim I just KNOW especially CURRENTLY?

the stress of her members disliking her makes her feel worse abt her self making her want more control and also there’s this very fucked up part of it where it’s like. the less I eat and the less space I take up the more they’ll like me, they won’t hurt me if they think I’m sick and fragile and GODDD that’s so her. she wants to be strong so bad but sometimes.

anyway it’s 1 am this isn’t a great analysis maybe I’ll circle back to this but I needed to talk about it

I love richgirlyn she’s witerwally me 

-🎏

It’s crazy that everything you just said is so correct like completely correct when it comes to richgirl!yn’s problems.

and because this has been going on since she was ten it’s just a normal routine for her all that girl does is try her best to become better, and because she knows that her image is something that her mother actually pays attention about her, so it’s rlly important to her.

even now that she’s an idol she doesn’t talk to her mom but there’s times when her mom will call her and be like “you look a little different.” and then she’s completely back in that cycle

[zeeskeit-writes-sometimes]

Hard to see the light now, just don’t let it go | Neil Perry Adoption AU fic

words: 4.2k 

TW: implied suicide attempt, implied/referenced child abuse, discussions of food and restricted eating, suicidal ideation and all the general angst that comes with Neil ‘Daddy Issues’ Perry 

Summary:

“Sometimes he missed his father. The thought made him want to die.

or, Neil's struggles with fatherhood and family while staying with Mr. Keating after the night of the play”

https://archiveofourown.org/works/48357478