#your health becomes a moral issue not a natural one

[gxlden-angels]

I think it's really funny when fundies are also super into the crunchy lifestyle like bestie your whole system is based on a dude with magical powers born from a virgin you can take a tylenol and stop feeding your infant raw milk now

[hellenhighwater]

Hi Hell, I wanted to get your thoughts on something. My friend who has been vegetarian for close to 30 years is thinking about becoming vegan. His main reason is that the pain and suffering of an animal in the large majority of the animal product industry is not worth the enjoyment he gets from cheese, milk, etc. He hypothesizes that most people are not vegan due to lack of education about the industry’s methods, and because eating meat is so normalized. I mostly agree, but something about what he’s saying makes me feel bad. Maybe because I don’t see myself ever becoming vegan, due to how much I love certain foods, but I like to think of myself as an empathetic and moral person. So I think I just feel quite selfish.

He is a very analytical and logical thinker, and says he wants to find more anti-vegan arguments before deciding for sure, but can’t seem to find many. What do you (and your followers) think? I was thinking you aren’t vegan, but I don’t actually know.

This is very much not my lane, but if you want my two cents then for me it comes down to a few things.

One: there is a basic mass of food that any human needs to consume in order to stay alive. That can be plants, it can be animals, it can be animal byproducts. For the a significant proportion of commercially produced food, there is a negative impact. It's hard to quantify; in some cases it is certainly direct, quality of life issues for animals. In other cases it's more broad environmental impact from commercial farming, or quality of life for the human laborers involved in harvesting etc. It's hard to come up with any objective measurement for harm when comparing individual animal suffering vs human quality of life vs large scale environmental issues. There's plenty of information out there on some of the vegan diet staples and how increases in farming things like quinoa have enormously detrimental effects on their native communities, if that's something your friend is not already aware.

Two: There is a degree of this that is just...unavoidable. Things eating other things is the way living creatures survive, and on a systematic level there's not a ton we individually can do to change things--and on a practical level, there's only so much you can afford to spend on food, and organic, cruelty free stuff is more expensive. There is a level of privilege in being able to choose to spend your money in that way that is not always an option for everyone.

I'm not vegan. I'm not vegetarian. I care deeply about animals, and I'm aware of what commercial husbandry looks like--it's pretty terrible. I still eat meat. I try to do so as ethically as I reasonably can.

I don't have an issue with eating other animals. It's a part of nature. To me, I see the obligation more to do our best to try to get meat (or byproducts) that have been raised as well as we can manage. Free range eggs are pretty easy to come by, if you live in the country. Same with locally made cheeses and butters, even farm fresh milk--some places have self-serve milking that allows cows to roam in pastures and then be milked at will. Price and availability will vary by where you are, but it's more and more common; as more and more people start to care about how the people and animals involved in making our food are treated, better options become more available.

It also should be noted that the animals involved in farming are almost universally completely domesticated. There's no alternative for these animals and their progeny except for life in human care. These breeds require human aid for their own health and safety, because we have been breeding them for (in many cases) thousands of years to rely on us and to develop traits that will not aid them in the wild. If everyone decided, tomorrow, to become vegan, then these animals would need to remain in human care for however many thousands of generations it would take to breed them back to the ability to survive without us, or we would have to sterilize them en mass and terminate these breeds through lack of reproduction. It is not an option to just release these farm animals into the wild. Domesticated animals require human care. Some of them, like pigeons, have gone feral when we abandoned them, but they are not like their wild cousins, and it shows.

Because of the selective breeding involved in domestion, most of these animals are producing byproducts--eggs, milk, honey, wool, etc--in quantities that they do not need. While some species have been bred to do that to their own detriment, most heritage breeds are fully capable of producing more than they need of these things, and there can be true symbiosis between these animals and their human caretakers. Some of these things they need to have removed for their own health. It's an ancient bargain--we keep them safe, and warm, and healthy, and protected, and they give us that which they have in abundance. The problem isn't the animal product, it's how it's produced commercially.

So yeah--veganism is one option, but it is, in my opinion, a narrow scope at an issue that is far more nuanced. I think it's equally ethical to aim for a diet that focuses on local, ethical farming practices--for growing crops, for caring for meat animals, for beekeeping, for chickens and sheep and whatever else we need. We've spent longer than any of us will live making these animals part of our world--discarding them and what they can give us is not going to benefit them. We just have to learn how to treat them respectfully.

[ofoceansandtombsanew]

織姫

cw. f!reader (afab), canon divergent, manga spoilers, established relationship, dissociation, canon-typical violence, non-linear storytelling

pairing. makima x reader

notes. part of the man is a blazing star universe so i would give the two previous fics a read before diving into this one as it is key to understanding everything here. in a way, orihime 「織姫」 is a love letter to what was originally a duology so i hope old readers enjoy spotting the references! i had a lot of fun experimenting with detailing, when not to use it and even when only relying on only dialogue to carry a scene and i hope the payoff works in my favor.

Dawn is a time of day you appreciate more when you don’t have work.

While you ordinarily complained how the hours in those days vanished before you could enjoy them, dawn has always been the exception. Your early mornings have always moved slower compared to the rest. It’s a slow, quiet whisper you value fully, especially now as you enjoy the sound of the waves as you walk your assorted mix of pets on the beach. You’re sure the two of you look like quite the pair with your seven dogs on their leashes and one of your two cats in a leashed harness.

Makima is a woman bathed in the light of dawn. 

You release a sigh of satisfaction, watching your girlfriend go ahead of you as your dogs stretch their legs.

It’s in how the morning rays dapple her form in near perfect circles. In the hues of her pale carmine hair that cascades across her bare skin. It’s even in the gold of her eyes, much like the yellow sun that peeks through the horizon.

It’s strange to think that this time two years ago, Makima had been a colleague you couldn’t stand to be around. Now you’ve willingly allowed a string of fate the exact shade as her hair to bind you both in the most irrevocable of ways.

“I won’t use my power on you, in exchange, we have to stay together forever. We’ll eat a lot together, sleep together, and live a happy life together.”

The contract of a lifetime ー marriage in its own right.

Gone are the days of patrols, weapons and putting your life on the line to ensure the safety of the general populace.

How peculiar this entire journey has been.

You will never pretend your reasons for joining the Bureau were pure of heart; you’d never dreamed of glory or protecting others.

For Makima, you’d gladly put your entire being on the line.

It goes against the nature of the Control Devil to have equal relationships.

Makima has one with you.

Moral ambiguities be damned. I believe in you. It’s a vow you know you will take to your grave as you watch your lover pause, wondering what has caught her excitable dogs’ eyes. Bagheera’s crooked tail tip twitches in interest, bounding forward with clumsy footsteps and you chuckle as you increase your pace so the cat can see it too. Tora, on the other hand, is comfortable in her backpack carrier. This is how mornings are done in your family. “What’s got the troublesome octet so excited?”

“They’ve found a crab,” her voice is amused and mellifluous. Crab sounds like a wonderful idea for dinner and you’re sure she has the same idea when you hear dulcet giggles slip from her person. Like a child, Makima turns to face you with her lips stretched into a delighted smile.

It’s then that carmine suddenly becomes jet and there’s a mole underneath her left eye that wasn’t there before.

Ah.

“[First], I want crab for dinner!” Nayuta beams brightly.

“Damn you have expensive taste,” you tease in spite of your stupor. Right. Those memories aren’t mine.

The dogs you walk remain but all but two of five of them are different from the seven you could have sworn were with you just a moment ago. Bagheera isn’t with you either, succumbing to his health issues years ago when you were still a child. All that remains of the cats you adopted is Tora, an old lady you left at home to snore on the couch with the Power's new kitten.

“Have ‘em,” Himeno told you shortly after you moved in with her in the quiet town of Shonai. “They were yours anyway. Oh, but Meowy’s always been Power’s.”

The ringed eyes are the only part of Nayuta that is the same as the woman from your memories. The eyes and the braid you know she'll twist her hair into later.

You wish the image of that woman would disappear.

Thankfully Nayuta is seemingly unaware of your dilemma. “I’ll get some in a few checks,” you promise and you receive an impish grin in return. You smile instinctively, your earlier troubles assuaged.

It’s a magic only Nayuta possesses.

The magic is disturbed when one of the dogs yelps in pain and Nayuta guffaws at the display of a small crab latched onto its nose.

You wonder if you had grown up surrounded by humans if you would find her reaction unsettling. As one raised among devils and fiends, however, Nayuta’s reaction is only standard even as she yanks the crab away with ease and tosses it into a returning wave. “That’ll teach you not to play with crabs,” Nayuta laughter subsides into chuckles as she pets the pup’s head.

You love the dawn.

How the wind runs its invisible fingers through Nayuta's hair much like a musician strumming the strings of a harp.

How the light of the sun crests Nayuta's head much like a halo although you're sure the god of such beings will likely you spurn you for the comparison. How ironic that a devil is the closest comparison you have to the opposing pole.

When it’s like this, it’s easy to pretend you and Nayuta are the last ones on earth on this beach.

There are no devil hunters, no other humans and there are no other devils either.

You digress that the truth of your reality is fine, however.

You work 6 out of 7 days in a week at a local convenience store all the while Nayuta pursues a degree through online courses at Tohoku University. Himeno goes to the pub once or twice every other week to indulge in the non-alcoholic beverages her sister allows her to drink. Even Power somehow manages a steady job helping Ichika sell the vegetables she grows in the garden. A well-placed hat and even a Fiend can blend in to some extent.

Work is limited for a Fiend in hiding from the government.

Everything is limited when it’s the Control Devil remaining out of the government’s sight.

“Do you ever wish you could actually go on campus?”

“Not particularly.”

Nayuta’s never really been a people person though, so you suppose it truly doesn’t matter to her whether she can physically attend Tohoku or not. So you subsequently deduce that she likely won’t care that she’ll be limited to working remotely for the rest of her life either.

Nayuta fingers dug into the back of your shirt, body tense. Her abilities required she believe one was lesser than her for her to order them, that was impossible when you were both scared out of your wits cornered with nowhere to go.

The woman kept an eye on you both, weapon drawn in one hand, phone in the other. “I found the C-”

Unwittingly, your mind drifts back to the red-haired woman as you watch the loose strands of Nayuta’s hair dance in the wind. Makima.

You don’t know much about the previous incarnation of the Control Devil save for what tidbits you allowed Himeno and Kishibe to tell you. Himeno did her best to sugarcoat it but blunt as Kishibe was, you know for certain that Makima wasn’t the kindest individual.

“ー kept her on a tight leash when she was alive,” the drunkard raised his flask to his lips for the tenth time in the three minutes. Every fiber of your being burns with a hatred for a man that isn’t wholly your own at the comment. “But even with that leash, she was a ticking time bomb. So keep this one on a leash that’s even tighter. Otherwise, she’ll turn out like Makima again.”

Makima is Makima, Nayuta is Nayuta.

ー is ー, you’re you.

“Hey, Nayuta, pick a country,” you call for the one you love. The one you love. The proof is when she turns and Nayuta is all that remains. You don't hate Makima. You don’t think it’s possible to hate any incarnation of the Control Devil. But Makima is who ー loved and their sun had long since fallen. “One that doesn’t have a devil hunting association in it.”

“Seychelles,” Nayuta doesn’t miss a beat, grinning the devilish grin you adore all the while. “We still need to have our honeymoon.”

A dirty sheet turned into a veil rests on jet black hair while you recited your on-the-fly vows.

“Yeah,” you chuff as you rest your hands in your pocket. “I owe you one, huh?”

A honeymoon and the whole wedding too.

ー

“What’s this new job of yours again?”

“I got a gig cashiering the next town over,” you pinch the green collar of your uniform as a physical display of your employment. 

Himeno’s one eye closes as she hums thoughtfully into her mug, “what about your job at the konbini?” Her smile is as plastered as wet cement.

“It doesn’t pay as much,” you shrug. It isn’t the first time Himeno has made some sort of stir about your sudden change in employment, it likely won’t be the last. “If I’m gonna get paid to kiss ass all day, I at least wanna get paid more than chump change.”

“You make chump change as a cashier no matter where you work,” you choose to ignore Himeno’s comment. When her sister’s sharp stare of disapproval lands on the former devil hunter, you know the conversation will be dropped for now. Thanks, Ichika.

Ichika smiles kindly, always a touch too gentle and understanding. It’s easy to appreciate the woman’s soft-hearted nature. “Well, I for one, am glad you have a pay raise even if it’s somewhere else,” the dark-haired woman tells you. “We both are,” her soft blue eyes dare her sister to disagree with her sentiments. Himeno is smart enough not to voice against them. Gentle as Ichika is, Himeno will always crumble at the threat of her anger. “What time will you be home? We should eat something special to celebrate!”

“Crab sound good this weekend?” At your suggestion, Nayuta perks with interest for the first time since breakfast began. You bump your knees together lightly. With what you’ll be making now, you can afford to buy her crab every night. “I can pick some up before I head back after my last shift of the week.”

On the other side of the table, Power is just as interested in the suggestion. “Crab,” the horned woman inquires with a fiendish grin. “Finally something worthy of my taste buds! Servant,” the Blood Fiend’s strawberry-colored locks whip around in her excitement. It’s only barely doused by the unamused look Himeno shoots in her direction. Barely. “Human,” an improvement. “Make a crab dish for us!”

Ichika takes Power’s demands in stride, “I think crab would be a nice treat. Don’t you?”

Matching blue gazes share a quiet conversation before Himeno relents with a tired smile, “I guess crab isn’t that bad an idea.”

Power guffaws with prideful glee as Nayuta’s expression twists into impish satisfaction. Her few-weeks-old dream of crab will finally be fulfilled. A peaceful glow washes over you as you take in the sight of her drinking miso soup from a finely polished bowl.

Himeno’s house is a far cry from the abandoned building you both once called home.

The wooden floor is clean, not dirtied from even filthier shoes and haphazardly drawn images made with sharp rocks used as chalk. In this house, you have three meals a day. The limit to what you can take is no longer reduced to only what you’re able to carry.

It’s a life you always dreamed you’d one day share.

Although admittedly you never accounted for the additional humanoid bodies living in it. 

“Well, I gotta get goin’,” you slurp the last of your black tea before wiping your lips with the back of your hand. “See you guys later,” you stack your dishes neatly atop one another, waving off Ichika’s attempt to take them from you. “See you later,” you tell Nayuta warmly, pressing your lips against hers for only a  moment to spare yourself from feeling one of Power’s dirty napkins hitting your shoulder. “Have a good day at school.”

“Call me for lunch,” to the untrained ear, it’s a demand. To one as experienced as yourself in the language of Nayuta, it’s a request.

It’s an uncannily peaceful morning for a household of humans, fiends and devils. One that religious zealots would lose their minds over. 

On an ordinary morning you yearn for the comfort of your and Nayuta’s bed and letting the hours roll by as you embark on your quest for work. This time, your stomach twists with discomfort as you hit the freeway.

It’s nearly an ordinary morning.

As you promptly pass the exit that actually would have led to the town next door, you know the last chance for ‘ordinary’ has sailed. The nearly three hours long drive it takes to get to Sendai is long enough for you to stew in your guilt. You park inconspicuously near the woodsy outskirts of the city, thumbs resting on the steering wheel.

It’s too late to turn back now, you remind yourself. I’m doing this for us.

Two adult passports.

Visas.

Housing.

Food.

Permanent Residency.

You’d never be able to save for it all with the chump change you’d been making at the local konbini. Nor would Nayuta ever be able to live a free life under the restrictions placed on you by those who took you in. There is no major country in the world Nayuta can be free in.

Nayuta had been a stranger, once upon a time. A stranger who never existed in your conscience and whose life you never perceived.

Then your eyes met and you experienced the birth of a universe.

You’ll gladly put your entire being on the line.

“Do you want to protect Nayuta?” Your grip tightens for a moment longer before finally reaching for the duffle bag you hid underneath the passenger seat.

“Well yeah, obviously.”

“Then follow two rules. Stay away from major cities and don’t join the Public Safety Devil Hunters.”

You've technically broken only one of Kishibe’s rules.

ー

Your parents used to take the first day of school very seriously.

It was always a momentous time when you went up a grade level. Photos were snapped constantly and after the first day ended successfully, there’d always be some sort of celebratory dinner. When you saw Ichika tearfully take in yours and Nayuta’s uniforms, you can tell things in this household were going to go the same way.

“The two of you are starting to become young women,” she smiled sappily, polaroid camera already in hand. “It feels like it was only yesterday you two came here and now you’re already going to school! You’re both so beautiful!”

Nayuta certainly was, you wanted to say. Her chin-length black hair now stretched to the upper middle of her back, framing her gold-colored eyes perfectly. But that would only make Ichika gush further about how you both were equally gorgeous like a proud mother.

You’d have thought you and Nayuta were infants when you were brought to this house with how Ichika coo’d and aww’d. Except the two of you were already thirteen when you’d come to the Nagano household and a year later, the school term had been going on for a few months. It had been unclear if you’d be starting high school or being held back. Donned in the dark brown uniform of Higashi Middle School, you knew the answer.

Even Power had on a uniform, refusing to be left out of the celebrations.

“That’s right, our little women,” Himeno laughed, holding an energy drink like it was a beer can. “Smile for the camera!”

You were able to turn the corners of your lips into a smile but, if anything, Nayuta’s scowl only deepened.

“Nayuta,” Himeno sighed in frustration. “I know you’re upset that you and [First] are in different classes but we’ve been through this. It’ll be good for you. Ichika,” she looked to her sister for support, blue eyes pleading. “back me up on this.”

Nagano Younger placed the camera down with an empathetic smile, “don’t you want to make friends?”

Ringed yellow eyes practically glowed as Nayuta sharply looked at the woman, “what do we need friends for? All [First] needs is me.”

The Nagano sisters shared a look that was a mixture of concern and exasperation. The primary debate of the weekend had finally reared its ugly head just before you were due to leave. Before either of them could say anything to placate their youngest ward, however, Power's manic laughter filled the air. When she had her fill of amusement, she rubbed the bottom of her nose as her laughs faded into chuckles. “The Great Power was once this immature,” Once? “Nayuta!” She points a sharp nail in the direction of the only other non-human in the house. “Stop behaving like a child! You’re reflecting poorly on my teachings!”

“Bark like a dog.”

Power dropped on all fours and barked the moment the demand left Nayuta’s mouth. The actual dogs in the house went into an excited frenzy, barking alongside with her.

“What did I tell you about taking your powers out on people because you’re upset,” all hints of playfulness left Himeno’s body in favor of displeasure. “Nayuta,” she placed her energy drink on the table at the young devil’s silence. Ichika sighed quietly, placing her camera down before she quietly turned to the kitchen.

“The two of you need to learn how to interact with people. Outside of the house,” the former devil hunter took a glance at the barking fiend. When she sighed, you knew Himeno likely thought that even the interactions within the house needed some work. “Now hurry up and turn Power back.” Nayuta directed her gaze to the nearest window instead. “Nayuta, I’m not asking.”

“Just wait a moment,” Ichika’s lark-like voice rang from where she went about her business. Hurriedly, she arrived with two bowls of ice cream in hand. With her sharp sense of smell, it captured Nayuta’s attention immediately and she held out her hands expectantly. “Don’t you have something you need to do first, young lady?”

Nayuta blinked, seemingly confused as she followed her gaze to where Power crawled on the floor. In the blink of an eye, the barking stopped. “Thank you,” Ichika nodded in satisfaction before she finally handed you both a bowl each, winking at you knowingly.

Power returned to her feet, cheeks hot with anger but whatever she was going to say, she stopped in her tracks the moment you held the bowl of ice cream Ichika gave you directly under her nose. It only took a beat before the Blood Fiend grinned, lifting the bowl as if it's her newest kill. “Gahahaha! I suppose I can accept your humble offerings,” you snorted quietly at the display. If anyone was the child in this house, it was her.

Himeno threaded her fingers through gray and navy blue hair with a whiny sigh, “everyone in this house wants me to age, Ichika. And we can’t just use ice cream to bribe her into behaving! Why does she get ice cream if I don’t get to keep beer!”

“Because your doctor said to either quit or be placed on a liver transplant list so you’d have a head start,” Himeno withered under her sister’s less-than-amused glare. “And I hope you savor that energy drink. Remember what we agreed on - one can per month.”

“And it’s always the smallest size possible,” Himeno grumbled, looking much like a child herself. If you hadn’t known who the older sister was, you would have assumed otherwise. “And low in sugar so it tastes absolutely disgusting.”

Ichika ignored the jab, knowing her sister would drink the disgusting low-sugar drink regardless. “Nayuta,” she began thoughtfully. “I know how important it was for you that you and [First] be in the same class. But there are going to be times when you have to interact with other people and we want you to be able to navigate those times with ease. There are going to be more opportunities for you both to be in the same class, we just want you to be okay with times where you aren’t.” When Ichika looked to you for assistance, Nayuta’s golden gaze turned to you as well.

We can socialize and be in the same class at the same time, can’t we? Truthfully, you hadn’t been thrilled with the class assignments either. It had been you against the world before you met Nayuta when you were left alone on the streets of Beijing. Not knowing what would happen to you with your parents gone, school didn’t seem all too important. You think you might have liked school, you truthfully can’t remember. You even had friends, good friends. You couldn’t seem to remember their faces either. Too much had happened to hold onto those memories.

The last time you’d been in school, you were seven.

It took a fair bit of home study for you and Nayuta to be ready for even middle school. If you had to go to school again, you wanted it to be by each other’s side. The school administration had different thoughts, it seemed. But underneath Ichika’s hopeful eyes, you couldn’t bring yourself to spurn her goodwill. You liked Ichika, she was kind. “If we’re in different classes, we can go on dates for lunch. And I can walk you to class each day, like in the movies.”

It’s only when she heard those words that Nayuta looked even remotely enthused about your separation.

“See?” Ichika’s smile widened in her appreciation.

“Alright,” Nayuta leaned against you, not entirely pleased but no longer entirely upset.

It was a solid victory as far as Ichika was concerned.

The rest of the morning went smoothly. Nayuta and Power indulged in their ice cream and when they were finished, Ichika indulged in getting her celebratory photo. Power held her peace sign while yours and Nayuta’s arms were linked tightly. Lunches packed and promises of an extravagant dinner made, the two of you finally left home hand in hand.

ー

“I know damn well that a Fish Devil costs more than that,” you scowl at your employer. “I didn’t drive over two hours to Sendai for you to stiff me on the price. I’ll take this to Yamaguchi if I have to.” That’s the problem with these underground devil hunting jobs. If someone wants to short change you, they will short change you. It’s been five months since you’ve begun your dealings with Nishida and the oaf never ceases trying to pull the wool over your eyes.

“Come on now, [Last],” the slimy businessman raises his hands as if placating a child. He looks more like a Pimp Named Slickback with his crinkled purple suit than someone who works in devil hunting. You suppose one working under the table can’t complain. “We’re old friends, aren’t we?”

“Tell me that when we’ve known each other for a decade,” you point your gloved finger against the desk two, three, four times. Each thudding strongly against the tabletop rattling the bloody axe you’ve placed on it. “550,000 yen. I don’t want even a decimal less.”

Nishida’s lips curl in dismay, “have I ever told you that you’re a real bitch to work with?”

You’ll continue to be one until you’ve gathered all you could, “acknowledgement from the queen of bitches is a real honor. I want my check.”

He rolls his eyes and calls you a few more choice swears under his breath, but he finally complies in writing a check with the correct amount. If you had been anyone else, perhaps Nishida could have paid you the 230,000 yen without issue. Perhaps you’d have even considered that a steal. Your training under Kishibe and Himeno taught you more about pricing devils than you were prepared to admit.

What are the ethics to killing devils when you are dating one?

You decide to follow the devil code of ethics. Kill or be killed, it’s that simple.

It’s never been a question if Nayuta would spurn you for such acts if she were to ever learn of them. It’s the fact you know Nayuta would follow you to Sendai in a heartbeat.

“I found the C-”

You will never bring those unfinished words to reality.

Carefully you remove the gloves on your hands to even more carefully extract your wallet from the ziplock bag you keep it in, placing your check within its pockets. Then you tuck it all away once more before donning a clean pair of gloves instead.

“Ugh, I’m getting hot just looking at you,” Nishida groans, eying you as if you were equal parts insane and excessive. You wonder if he’ll ever get used to the lengths you go to make sure no trace of blood and the smells of other devils touch your person. You don’t even put your axe in the car, it hasn’t been there since it had been a new purchase. No, you keep the rusting thing right here in Nishida’s crappy building in Sendai’s slums.

Trying to hide something from Nayuta’s nose is like trying to rob a bank blindfolded. “I told you already, I don’t want the blood getting on me. Killing devils is gross,” you wave the man off. Five months you’ve been doing this and you haven’t slipped up yet. Your ritual is the same each time ー before you start hunting, you dress in what is practically a glorified hazmat suit. Once work is done, you take it all off with gloves covering your hands and dump it in the trash.”

“It just seems like a lot of hassle,” Nishida scratches the back of his head, nonplussed. “If this ever gets in the way of your job, don’t come crying to me.”

“This coming from the man who doesn’t do the hunting himself is crazy,” you click your tongue in unsurprised annoyance. If it means keeping your proclivities a secret from the house, you’ll wear the hazmats again and again. “I’m not coming in tomorrow, I have a date with my girlfriend. Something you know nothing about. Well, you did. Until about a month ago, right?”

The look on Nishida’s face almost makes you feel better about his attempt to scam you. Almost. “Just go home before I decide to take my offers of employment elsewhere!”

You chortle with pleasure as you finally exit his dusty office.

When you arrive home, the wind must have blown your scent through the door or a cracked window because you walk into Makima’s arms the moment you pass through the door. “Welcome home, [First],” Makima greets you adoringly, red tresses brushing against your jaw. Her arms are as warm as her voice, wrapped around you as loose as one called the Control Devil will allow.

It’s instinctive, how quickly you return the embrace. “That professor finally off your ass?” Strange. Since when has Makima been a student?

Nayuta pulls away from you slightly, just enough to look you in the eye as you converse. Nayuta is the student, you remember. Business management is what she studies. “I don’t know why he-” Nayuta blinks as she takes all of your visuals in. “[First], what’s wrong?”

Your smile falters, “it’s nothing, I’m just tired.” Tired of the memories that don’t belong to you. “Management just really loves working their best employee.” You’re happy tonight is Himeno and Ichika’s pub night where they never drink alcohol but do engage in the card games with the locals. Himeno’s been trying to catch in the midst of a lie you’re sure no one can detect. 

“Want me to talk to them then?” Nayuta is too quick to offer her services. I’m earning more than enough now. “I’ll get you a manager’s salary too.”

“Nah,” you shake your head. “I just want it to be tomorrow for our date already.” You’ll be dying silk scarves in town and then you’ll head to a restaurant. If it weren’t for the restrictive life forced upon you by the world you live in, maybe the two of you would live somewhere more exciting. Somewhere with more than enough novelties for you to gawk at in awe.

Nayuta snorts at your dramatic lament, “you’re so cheesy.”

“You’re the cheesy one,” you blow a raspberry against the juncture between her jaw and neck and Nayuta squeals immediately.

“Gahahaha!” Nayuta ducks away and you giggle in return. She’s always been a bit ticklish, you’re simply the one lucky enough to do so without repercussions.

“I know ways to make tomorrow come much faster,” Power’s snark cuts through your flirting like a dull knife. The Blood Fiend rarely ever sits still unless it is mealtime or she is watching something thrilling enough. The evening news normally is usually not something that makes Power lay down in the middle of the living room floor on a throw pillow yet here she is. "Being stricken with blunt force guarantees many hours to pass you unknowingly.'

You raise an eyebrow at Power’s unwarranted attitude, “what’s got you in such a shitty mood?” 

“They mentioned the Chainsaw Devil on the news earlier,” Nayuta recounts as if telling you the weather report. She looks over her shoulder at where Power lays coolly. “It’s the anniversary of when the Bomb and Chainsaw Devils showed up in Tokyo.” Right, I forgot. They only showed up once however many years ago and still the news would cover it like it could happen again at any moment. You secretly believe Hayakawa Power hopes for the same. You never met Hayakawa Denji, you only heard the stories. He sounded like an even bigger handful than Power.

Power is all that remains from everyone who once claimed the Hayakawa name as their own.

“Don’t mention that name in front of me!” Power snarls without looking in your direction. She doesn’t move to change the channel regardless.

“Pitiful,” Nayuta comments but her grip around you tightens in spite of it as she rests her ear against your chest.

Pitiful.

You open one too many bags of popcorn while Nayuta puts on one of the Inazuma Eleven DVDs Power got on her birthday last year. The five dogs excitedly run around the house to the sound of Power obnoxiously singing "Stand up! Stand up! We love football!" Tora is content to rest on your lap and Meowy the Second takes off with her second popcorn kernel.

To wait this long for someone who ran away and never looked back is pitiful.

A Power who isn’t living up to her proudly chosen name is even more so.

You breathe in the scent of Nayuta’s shampoo as she rests her head on your shoulder. It really is too damn pitiful.

ー

“You ever wonder why there are devils but no angels?”

One of Nayuta’s classmates’ words piqued your interest from the other side of the room. Nayuta’s eyes followed yours in vague interest at the students piled in the corner. The only one you personally recognized was Yamada Moe, your class’ president. True to your word, you were on a date for lunch.

As much of a date it could be at school, anyway.

Everyday the lunch hour reared its delicious head, you’d make your way to Nayuta’s class to eat with her. “I mean, think about it. If devils are physical manifestations of the things we fear, why are there no physical manifestations of the things we love? Like, there are plenty of people who love snakes. So why’s there no Snake Angel?”

“A Chicken Angel would be pretty damn powerful then,” a different girl, likely the class clown, chirped. “But would angels be biblically accurate?” Her eyebrows move mischievously at her suggestions.

“Don’t say that,” Moe covered her mouth with her hand as she giggled. Her deep dark brown hair, the color of charred wood, is pulled back into a ponytail and her green eyes sparkled at the thought. “I’d love to see a Hamster Angel then.”

“Or even a Mermaid Angel! That would be so pretty!”

“Mermaids aren’t real, Rika.”

“Neither are zombies but there’s still a Zombie Devil,” ‘Rika’ sputtered in her defense, cheeks pink. “Everyone’s afraid of zombies and everyone loves mermaids, so both would exist by that logic!”

You considered their words with a silent hum. Himeno said she met an Angel Devil once, I think. I wonder how strong he is.

“ー and Makima had promised me to protect him if anything ever came out about him but, well,” Himeno trailed off before vaguely gesturing towards you. You remembered the discomfort of it even as the woman brushed it off with a warm palm placed on your head. “It’s fine though. Kishibe’s given me no updates concerning him and in our business, that’s a good thing. That twerp is doing just fine.”

If an Angel Devil is the manifestation of humanity’s fear of angels, you wondered what a Devil Angel would be like.

“Rika, Tomoko,” Nayuta placed her chopsticks atop her empty lunch box before resting her cheek on her hand. “Give me your desserts,” she yawned. Beneath the table, her legs twined with yours.

“Sure thing, Nayuta,” Rika beamed, holding up a pudding cup enthusiastically.

Tomoko nodded, looking relieved, “my mom packed me too many things anyway.”

Moe glowered in your direction.

It was almost reminiscent of the times you were both street urchins and Nayuta used her powers to ensure you’d be able to eat that day. The only difference is, as Tomoko and Rika walk the moderate distance to your half of the room, that you no longer are that desperate to eat. Nayuta smiled when she saw, among their treats, was an anpan roll with roasted black sesame seeds. Sweets were the secret to this young girl’s heart, all hints of disinterest washed away. Cute. “It’s one of your favorites, [First],” enthusiastically she opened the packaging before raising it to your lips. “Does it taste good?”

You relished the mixture of bread, sesame and adzuki beans on your tongue, “yeah, this is pretty nice.” You looked over at the unsuspecting girls who are too happy to help. Too happy and unaware of the reality of the situation. “Thanks.”

“It’s no problem,” Rika brushed off your gratitude with a dispassionate wave of her hand. “What kind of angels would you guys be excited to see? Mermaid Angels would be pretty cool, right?”

You shrugged, not wanting to reveal your inherent bias, “I can’t really imagine what an angel would be like. We’ve never seen one.” 

“I just think if we had angels, they would be the ones fighting devils,” Tomoko sighed wistfully, light years away from where you were gathered in class 3-C. “Love is the strongest thing in the world, right?”

“The power of love is cheesy,” Nayuta scoffed.

The three of you ー Tomoko, Rika and yourself ー shared a look of varying degrees of disbelief.

“Since you find it so cheesy, maybe you can finally stop blocking the halls when you makeout and cuddle in the hallway,” Moe rolled her eyes from where she still sat, nose scrunched in equal measures of disgust. Her eyes held your own with a look of annoyance and you couldn’t hold back a snort.

“We are pretty annoying, huh,” you snickered, winking at how Nayuta was still holding the pastry near your lips. Laughter of agreement followed your admission from those sprinkled across the room save for two individuals. If Nayuta had been someone else, perhaps she would have withered under the scathing eyes of class 3-A’s president. Because she wasn't someone else, though, she met the glare with her own. “Even the Love Devil would hate us,” you bit into the roll once again, stealing Nayuta’s attention.

“The Love Devil is probably ugly anyway,” Nayuta replied with a petulant smirk.

Lunch continued without further hiccups, much to your relief. The desserts were eaten and the desks were back in place and it was time for you to head back to class. Nayuta still wasn’t entirely pleased at your class assignments, but she got better about it the following months. The ‘dates’ and walks had kept her placated.

“Thanks for that, [First],” Himeno sighed gratefully when Nayuta was in the bath after your celebratory dinner. “When are kids supposed to stop having temper tantrums? We really don’t need her having one at school. You have to be her anchor.”

You’d have done that even if Himeno didn’t want it. “I’ll pick you up after class,” you told Nayuta unnecessarily but you knew she liked the reassurance. You’d always come back for her even if there was distance standing in the way of that.

“You can make out with Nagano later,” Moe scoffed as she walked past you to room 3-A.

Nayuta glared over your shoulder at the brunette, “she’s ugly.”

“I do gotta get to class though,” you sighed heavily, throwing an arm over Nayuta's shoulder. She returned the gesture with both arms thrown around you. “My adoring fans in 3-A await me.”

“You don’t need your adoring fans when you have me,” Nayuta hugged you tighter and you don’t find yourself disagreeing.

You tucked a stray lock of hair behind her ear, “that’s pretty true. Those guys mean nothing. You’re my number one.” Gold eyes looked at you like you were a dream before you had to turn around.

“Why do you even like her?” Moe scoffed as you caught up lazily. “She’s awful.”

“She’s cute,” your lips curled at the waves of irritation directed at you further. 

Moe’s expression contorted into one of disgust at your answer, storming ahead of you. “People like you disgust me. You’re bullies.” We still sit next to each other so you’re not really doing anything, you know. Knowing it would be pointless telling the girl that, you looked over your shoulder to wave at Nayuta one last time before ducking into class. 

“At least pretend to pay attention,” a quiet whisper from your right caught your attention. You shrugged, unbothered. You’ve withstood more terrifying things. Whatever you failed to do, that only seemed to upset the class president even further. “Follow along with the text before the teacher calls on you.”

“I forgot my textbook,” you whispered back, directing your eyes forward.

“You didn’t think to ask someone to look at theirs?” Moe asked incredulously.

You thumbed in the direction of the empty desk to your left. Kinomiya wasn’t there to mooch off of that day. “And it isn’t like you like me, or anything. I’ll just get the notes from someone else.”

“Unlike you, I’m a good person,” Moe muttered, raising her desk just enough that it wouldn’t make a sound as she pressed it against yours. “I’d have shared if you asked.”

“There are no good or bad people, just good or bad actions,” you countered her belief with one of your own. There aren’t even any devils that are purely bad. They only become bad to you because they killed someone you care about. Or because they destroyed something you considered precious. But if there was a devil that killed other devils and rescued people, you’d say they were good.

This philosophy could be applied even to angels.

Angels would only be considered good if they did help humanity fight against devils. If there were angels in an unseen place known as Heaven, they definitely didn’t feel called to fight against the apparent wicked. They didn’t feel called to defend the apparent helpless humans of Earth. And by that definition, that would make them bad creatures. Angels would be bad to you. “And if you have to say you’re a good person, you’re probably not as good as you think you are.” Moe gasped, brow furrowed in her offense as you leaned closer to read the page. “Thanks.”

She couldn’t have made it more apparent how much she hated you with how quickly she separated her desk from yours at the end of the day. You shrugged, not particularly bothered by the reaction.

Some people never meshed with each other and that was that.

Moe hated you and you were indifferent to her existence.

You initially believed Nayuta’s thoughts were the same as yours until she started wiping your arm as if it were filthy after school.

“You stink,” Nayuta’s nose scrunched in obvious displeasure, rubbing your arm as if she could scrub the smell of Yamada Moe away. Even now you were in awe of how strong her sense of smell was; Moe hadn’t even been wearing perfume. “Why do you smell like her?” If she meant to be intimidating in her glare, she failed before she could even try. Her furrowed brow was more cute than nerve racking. 

“I forgot my textbook so we had to share,” you recalled the glares and looks of dismay. “She was not happy about it. I think Bags was lying on it so I didn’t see it when we were leaving.” You’d simply remember to check your book bag more thoroughly tomorrow morning. When you were a sizable distance from campus, you recalled the earlier discussion from lunch. “What did you think about all that angel talk at lunch today?”

“That humans are dumb,” as if realizing how that sounded, Nayuta pressed against you as you walked down the path apologetically. “99% of them.”

“You can say it, a lot of humans are dumb,” hands still woven together, you side step away just long enough to playfully tug Nayuta against. Power’s characteristic ‘gahahaha’s slip from Nayuta’s lips again, you aren’t sure when she started unconsciously mimicking her. It’s cute though. “Angels are just angels, even if they did exist. And it wouldn’t be like there’s a guarantee they’d want to just help humans either.”

“That’s because humans are arrogant,” Nayuta didn’t hold back her criticism with her concerns of offending you assuaged. “And they want to control the nature of everything. Fish swim, plants photosynthesize. Hurting is fine for devils.” 

You chuckled at her choice of words, “I’d be the Pride Devil.” You took ownership of the inherent arrogance you possessed as a human of this good year. 

“You’d be the [First] Devil,” Nayuta argued head tossed back joyously at the thought, giggling all the while.

“I don’t think enough people hate me for that to happen,” you chortled as you swung your hands back and forth. “Class Prez might, though. Maybe I should watch out. What if a [First] Devil does show up, am I gonna be replaced?”

Nayuta snorted affectionately, gold eyes bright like the sun, “you’re so dumb.”

A peaceful silence fell over you both and you released a satisfied breath. You wanted moments like this to last forever. “One day,” you looked at the orange-red sky above. “I’m gonna get old. At least, if I don’t die before then. But whatever ends up happening, we’re gonna be different,” you promised before Nayuta could protest what you’d begun to announce. “We’re not like them.”

ー and Makima’s time was too short; you’d heard that enough times since living with the Naganos.

That wasn’t going to be you and Nayuta.

“We’re not gonna be like them,” you promised, squeezing her hand tightly. “We’re gonna live forever.”

ー　

When was it when the image of Makima began to haunt you like a ghost?

You remember now, it had been in October of your first and last year of middle school when Nayuta finally started braiding her hair. You’d been fine that morning up until she came to the kitchen and you dropped the jar of pickled radishes, quietly sobbing until you caught a fever.

“Do you hate my hair being like this?” Nayuta asked in the quiet of the room you shared. It’s large and spacious, fit for three people. You never understood why the third bed in the room was kept when Nayuta never slept in any bed that wasn’t your own. The dogs and cats got a kick out of it, at the very least. So did Power who was shuffling about in the kitchen, banging pots and pans.

“I think it’s pretty. You’re pretty no matter how you do your hair.”

“I found a picture of the old me in Himeno’s room. The old us. She had her hair like this in all of Himeno’s memories too.”

“You used your powers on Himeno?”

“When she took a nap the other day. I wanted,” Nayuta trailed off, arms wrapped around her knees and eyes downcast. You were too hot to cuddle but she sat on the floor by your side anyway. “I wanted to know what the old me was like. Himeno didn’t like her very much. She liked the old you better. She liked that Aki person more though.”

Power’s Aki, you recalled from the photos  in a photo album Ichika made for Power’s birthday. “Himeno likes you though. I told you before, we’re not ー and Makima. It doesn’t matter if she didn’t like her.” Maybe Himeno had a thing against redheads.

“She thinks it sometimes. I can tell.”

I know.

“The old man said I was selfish when he met us.”

“I like that you’re selfish. We both get to be selfish at this point. Do you know how long we were in that dump?” You shared a laugh at the memory of the dump in question. The mattress was old as sin, rock hard and the blankets you owned couldn’t keep crickets out let alone the cold. “I miss robbing that one guy with the dolphin apron. He made the best dumplings. Wish we could have found the secret formula so we could still make them.”

“Humans can be dumb but the food is really good,” Nayuta’s lips turned upright.

You shift a bit so you can lay on your side, facing her more clearly, “do you remember what it was like in Hell?”

Nayuta shook her head, braid dancing to the motion. “Only little bits and pieces, but it’s blurry,” she disclosed, words soft. “I only remember wanting to leave soon.”

“When I was a kid, I always thought I was missing something,” you hold out your hand and Nayuta’s fingers slip into your own. You never knew another hand could be this warm, not even when your parents were alive. You don’t think you’d truly been warm until you met the girl who changed everything. You wanted to hold onto this life; hold it for as long as you could. You disavowed that there’d be a day you’d stop being you and Nayuta stopped being Nayuta and the new versions of you would run into the dawn hand in hand. You and Nayuta would live forever. “I’m really happy that I found you.”

Any sentimentality in the room was immediately blown away by the sound of Power kicking open the door.

“We have a doorknob, Power,” you groaned. Then you caught a whiff of the smell of broth, chicken and vegetables and raised yourself into a sitting position. Taking note of your realization, the strawberry-haired fiend puffed out her chest proudly as she presented the tray to you. The bowl was filled to the brim with soup, sloshing over the lip as she stepped forward and the crackers were worse for wear because of it. “You cooked?”

“Homemade! Straight from the can!” Power placed the tray on your lap, hands resting on her hips. “You humans are fragile creatures, so I decided to grant you my assistance.”

You had to purse your lips together to prevent yourself from laughing. “You know what, thanks, Power,” you let the fiend have her moment. Her homemade straight-from-the-can soup smelled pretty damn good.

ー

“Ichika, are you dating anyone?”

“What brought that on so suddenly?”

You shrug from where you sit at the kitchen table. “Because you never go anywhere unless it’s the farmer’s market,” you point out deftly. Work and home, that’s all either Nagano sister seems to have time for, save for the occasional pub night. No one in this house has much of a social life when you ponder it for more than two seconds. “We were kids before but it’s not like you don’t have a life now.” 

“You’re all still kids to me,” Ichika’s laugh is light and playful, like she’s daring you to protest otherwise.

“Power might be,” you lean back in your chair with a quiet snort. “She’s always been a handful.”

It’s rare for the house to be this quiet between the dogs and Power. The former are on a walk with Nayuta and the latter tagged along with Himeno to the market. Power has a child-like nature you doubt will ever fade. If something happens to Ichika and Himeno, what’s going to happen to Power?

“I recall all three of you being handfuls,” Ichika continues washing away at a plate with a laugh. “I’m not sure how you remember it but you and Nayuta had your moments too.” You remember your last first day of middle school and how Nayuta turned Power into a dog. You can recall many instances of Power falling prey to Nayuta’s power, truthfully. Himeno hated it. “Well, you had the least amount of tantrums, so I suppose I can give you that.”

You snort, lips curling in amusement, “name one tantrum I had.”

“I distinctly recall the time you were upset Himeno ate your leftovers.”

“That was different,” you cross your arms resolutely. “I counted everything I had left and put the numbers on the box!” If Power has a child-like nature, Himeno is a permanent child at heart. “I told her if she wanted something, to let me know. But she didn’t! She just wanted to mooch off my plate!” How many times has she put me through this? She hasn’t changed since I quit working at the Bureau.

“Himeno, I’m getting something to eat. What do you want?”

“It’s okay, I’m not hungry.”

“Himeno,” you eyed the woman with your lips pressed together and eyes narrowed. “I’m getting something to eat. What. Do you want?”

“Nothing, ー, geez! I’m not even hungry!”

“Liar, because I know damn well the moment I get back you’re going to want whatever I’m having! You know what, at this point, get your ass up. We’re leaving.”

“Wow,” Himeno held a hand against her chest, mockingly crushed. “This is how little you trust your best friend? I thought we had something special.”

“I trust you as much as I trust Nanaka not to poison me the first chance she gets,” you’d only been working for Japan’s Public Safety Devil Hunters for a month and the brunette still hated you. Apparently the transgressions of being assigned the partner of her beloved Makima was too heavy a crime. “I think I saw a new Italian place open up by the convenience store ran by that Brazilian couple I told you about.”

“Are you alright, dear?” You rub your forehead as if the motion will chase away ー’s memories with a vengeance.

“Yeah, I’m fine.” I never worked at the Bureau, you remind yourself. And I don’t want to. I’m no hero. That was ー’s desire. You only desire that which is most simple. “But you never answered my question. We’re not kids anymore.”

Ichika sets aside her wet rubber gloves on the drying rack, wiping the remnants of moisture onto her apron. “You don’t have to worry about me, [First]. I’ve never been the social butterfly, my sister’s always been the brave one.” You wonder what memories Ichika recalls as she takes a seat in her usual spot across the table. “That’s why she became a devil hunter. But even when we were in school, she got along with everybody.”

“You said you were in the tea ceremony club, right?”

She perks up in pleasant surprise, “that’s right! I’m surprised you remember!” The summer before you started high school, Ichika pulled out their old yearbooks from when they were students. “It feels like just yesterday both of you were in high school.”

“It basically was just yesterday.” It hadn’t been long at all since graduation and your classmates flocked out of Shonai to various major cities across the country. Everyone but the two of you. “High school was… better than middle school.”

“That it was,” you know from the slight frown on Ichika’s face she is remembering exactly how much of a mess your time at Higashi Middle School had been. So much so you transferred to Kitahoro Middle halfway through attendance. “It was hard for the two of you.”

ー

“[Last]?” A voice that twinkles like a bell calls for you. “[Full name] is that you?”

It’s a little past lunch that Saturday afternoon and the day is sleepy for both humans and devils. You hadn’t seen so much as even a trace of devil activity, deciding to have an early lunch after tossing your weapon of choice underneath a dumpster in a back alley.

You turn around at the sound of your name, fearful it is Himeno who has found you.

Thankfully, this person is Himeno’s opposite in every way.

Their eyes are green instead of blue and their hair is a dark brown instead of navy.

I know this person.

“Oh, Class Prez,” you blink in realization. Yamada Moe, in the flesh. “It’s been a while.”

ー

On a school day like any other it announced that Kiritani Tomoko had been killed by a devil. Rare as that was in a small town like Shonai, everyone had been shaken up. 

“How ironic,” you heard the whispers from the adults around you. “It was the Rooster Devil. How ironic when her family raises chickens. Even here in Shonai, devils are everywhere.”

Adults who in the same breath greet Power and Nayuta with warmth whenever they are seen walking down the street.

Hypocrites.

Tomoko’s death is unfortunate but you won’t pretend it was something that impacted you personally. To the president of 3-A, Yamada Moe, it was an unforgivable blow. You didn’t see her during lunch in 3-C, nor did she come back from lunch despite leaving her bookbag and pen on her desk.

“Rika’s not here, either,” Nayuta told you when you pointed out the empty desk.

You aren’t saddened by the death of Kiritani Tomoko but you know of a death you couldn’t recover from.

So you don’t fight it when your teacher tells you to find where Moe has slipped away to and you don’t drag her back from the ponytail when you find her crying on the rooftop either. “Hey,” you closed the door behind you.

“Just go away,” Moe shuddered, holding herself tighter. “Why are you even here?”

“Hori-sensei wanted me to come find you.”

Moe raises her head with hot anger, eyes red and weary, “like you suddenly care about being a good student.”

“I told you before, didn’t I?” You plopped on the ground in spite of Moe’s protests, hands resting on your lap. The autumn wind is comforting against your skin and the rolling clouds are fluffy. An unsuspecting day to learn someone from school died. “I don’t believe in good or bad people. People just do good or bad things. But I get it,” you shrugged lackadaisically. “Nayuta does a lot of bad things. It isn’t like I’m a saint either, we’ve done plenty of bad. If that makes us bad people to you, that’s fine. But I get what it’s like to lose people too.

“My parents were good ones. But some asshole hit them with their car when I was seven and I was stuck on my own until I was thirteen,” what would have happened to you next if you had left things to the authorities around you? You’re unsure. At seven years old, running away seemed like the best option at the time. No princes would be coming to save you so you became your own prince. “Devils. Cops. Figuring out what to eat. The other people out on the streets could be the worst too. I got into a lot of fights back then.” All to lie in a building the government had yet to demolish. “I thought the world ended. Or at least my place in it had. If I never met Nayuta, I’m not sure how much longer I could have kept going like that.”

Spotting movement to your left, you looked to Moe and your eyes caught one another.

Red as her eyes were, they were wide at your confession with her mouth slightly ajar. “It’s corny but when she’s here, I feel like I can do anything.” Survive on the streets for months or even fight devil hunters that were planning to kill you before you could blink. “So she gets to do awful things. Nayuta can do the most awful things in the world. She’s perfect.” She’d been perfect the moment you met her. “So I can’t say much about being sad about Tomoko, because I didn’t know her like that. But I know how it feels to lose someone and I know what it’s like to be terrified it’ll happen again. So for what it’s worth, I’m sorry about your friend.”

“Sorry,” Moe murmured. "Thank you."

“You don’t have anything to apologize for, you’re the one upset.”

...

“Aren’t you supposed to make me go back to class?”

“I’ll just tell Teach I got lost or something,” you yawned. “It’s none of his business.”

“You’re actually a good person, aren’t you?” Moe sniffled, resting her forehead against her knees. “You just pretend to be mean.”

“Good people don’t exist,” you sang, watching the clouds roll by. “Now mean, that I can be.”

“Now you’re being stubborn,” Moe muttered under her breath, sniffing again. “You’re good. It’s just being with Nagano Nayuta makes you act like a jerk.”

“It’s fine, you don’t have to like her,” you close your eyes with a light smile. “The less people realizing all her positive sides, the more Nayuta there is for me.”

“I don’t know how you stomach being around her,” you shrugged. “She’s like poison. The two of you together doesn’t feel right. She doesn’t feel right.

You open one eye, “what do you mean?”

“It’s just a feeling I get,” Moe explained vaguely, twisting her hands together anxiously.

.

“Nayuta, don’t use your powers at school for a while.”

“Why not?”

“I found the C-” “Yamada thinks there’s something off about you and everyone else is still on edge about that last devil attack. So it’ll be better to lay low until everything calms down.”

“Who’s that?”

“My class’ president. You know her, you think she’s ugly.”

“... Do you like her?”

“She’s alright, I guess. She’s just a classmate.”

“What about me?”

“You’re everything.”

Nayuta leapt onto your back in her satisfaction, legs wrapped tightly around your waist. “I’ll leave the humans at school alone then.”

“Don’t use them no matter what, alright? We can just get extra snacks on the way home from school or something.”

“I won’t.”

ー

“You cut your hair, it looks good!”

“Thanks,” Moe plays with a lock of curly hair, boyishly short. It suits her rather nicely. You look freer. “It’s surprising seeing you here. What are you…?” She glances quickly at the hazmat-style onesie you’ve dressed yourself in, plastic visor raised above your head.

“Got a janitorial job and I’m taking no chances,” you lean against the cold bench lazily. “I never mocked a janitor before but I damn sure am never going to now. Those guys are the unsung heroes of our society.”

“Janitori-” Moe snorts in her shock, looking like you’ve grown two heads. “I always figured you’d become a philosophy teacher considering how you were back in middle school”

“Nayuta’s signed up for classes but I’m taking a couple years off to save,” what you plan on majoring in when the time comes is unknown even to you. Perhaps Moe is onto something with philosophy. “We can’t mooch off our benefactors forever.” What’s going to happen to Power if anything happens to Himeno and Ichika, you find yourself pondering once again. A third passport shouldn’t be that hard to forge. Kishibe got me and Nayuta into the country without any problem, didn’t he?

“Oh, where is she going?”

“She’s at Tohoku too,” you nod at the Tohoku University tote bag resting on Moe's hip. “She’s doing everything virtually. Business Management major.”

There’s little surprise on Moe’s part when she hears that, “Business Management sounds like something that suits her.”

“She is pretty bossy, I can give you that,” you huff with an airy sigh. Management is something Nayuta will definitely thrive in. “She’s a damn good student though. What about you? What have you been up to? Majoring in law?”

“Philosophy, actually!” She laughs at how your eyebrows raise. “Surprising?”

“A little,” you nod and Moe rolls her eyes in playful exasperation. “But with all the arguments we had, philosophy or law honestly made the most sense. So I wasn’t that far off.”

“Those weren’t arguments, those were debates,” Moe corrects you needlessly, arms behind her back. It’s almost like all the tension left her when she cut her hair.

“You’ve mellowed out, Prez,” you whistle, impressed.

A younger Moe would have asked what you meant with a furrowed brow. The Moe of the present day accepts your words with a hearty laugh. “I was a bit high strung back then,” she lets out a nostalgic sigh. “Maybe more than a bit,” she admits sheepishly. “But middle school really feels so long ago. I guess I changed without noticing.”

“Sorry about middle school,” your lips curl into a grimace. “The stuff with Nayuta I mean.”

Moe’s eyebrows knit together with an empathetic curl of her lips, “it’s okay, I get it now. You were under a lot of stress back then.”

“How’s Rika doing?” You vaguely remember that girl who Nayuta would pawn snacks off of. “She going to Tohoku too?”

“Oh,” Moe shuffles nervously.

“What, did she drop out or something?”

“No, um, she never went to university,” Moe fiddles with a bracelet on her left wrist.

You raise an eyebrow at the odd behavior, “is she… dead?”

“No!” Moe answers quickly and you cock your head to the side, shrugging your shoulders. Okay then what is she then? “It’s just that she… became a devil hunter after we graduated.”

“Okay,” Good luck then, Rika. If you’re in Tokyo maybe Kishibe’ll be the one in charge of your training. As much as you hate the man, everything he’s taught you has kept you alive so far. You see green staring at you. “What?”

“I’m just surprised that you took that so well,” Moe breathes in disbelief. “Considering everything with Nayuta, I was afraid to bring devil hunters up in front of you.”

Your blood runs cold. “What do you mean ‘considering everything with Nayuta’?”

“Did-” Moe blinks once before she covers her mouth in horror. “Did you not know? I’m- I’m so sorry-”

“I found the C-”

.

“How did you know Nayuta wasn’t human? When did you figure it out?”

“When… that time back in middle school. She didn’t look human to me and when you went to her I just thought… in that moment Nayuta being a devil is why you were always so protective of her,” Moe’s head looks around the alley you’ve brought her too cautiously. It’s deep, deep within the darkest crevices of Sendai. “Where are we? Why are we here?”

You look at Moe and then the dumpster beside you, “I have to tell you the truth about something.” Your thumb brushes against your middle and index fingers for a moment. “I’m not really a janitor. I’ve been killing devils for the past seven months now. It’s underground work though.” You tell Moe this news as one might tell their friend they decided to plant tulips in their garden, reaching for where you slid your axe underneath the grimy trash heap.

“Devils?”

“Yeah.”

Moe looks at your rusty blade, caked in the blood from those you’ve killed thus far. “... But Nayuta,” she is unable to bring herself to say the rest.

You laugh, leaning against the wall for half a second before deciding you can’t stand the feel of it against your back. Nor do you wish to feel the eyes of Moe upon you. “Yeah, it’s sick isn’t it? She’s a devil but I’ve been out here for the past seven months killing ‘em. But Nayuta,” black hair and red rings fill your memories. “she means everything to me; I was alone for years until I met her. I have never cared that she was a devil. She was perfect, she’s still perfect. If anything ever happened to her, it would feel like the entire world was ending. I used to be a cashier, you know, but try making enough money to sneak a devil out of the country at your local 7-11,” you laugh humorously. “And I know you’ve never liked Nayuta but for me, Nayuta is everything. So please… please don’t tell anyone.”

“I won’t, [First]!” A foot steps towards you, voice full of emotion. “I didn’t like Nayuta before but I get it now! There are good devils out there and I’m going to prove it. That’s why I’m studying philosophy! If humans and devils can understand each other, we wouldn’t have to kill each other anymore!”

“She means everything to me,” your fingers dig into your palms as you repeat yourself weakly. She’s the best thing you knew you needed in a world that had nearly beaten you down for good. The one you would find repeatedly no matter the time and distance that separated you. “What am I doing? Killing devils for money like this when I know…” your shoulders sag. “But I can’t do anything else for her. I can’t earn money fast enough otherwise and I don’t have time to wait. I’m sure… this makes me a bad person, doesn’t it?”

“You are not a bad person,” Moe’s hand is warm on your back even through the layers you wear to keep yourself from being bloodied. “It’s not you that’s wrong, it’s the world itself. If enough people just realized that, things would be better.” A world where humanity and devils lived together in harmony? It seems like an impossible dream; perhaps it is one not within reach. Not within the lifetime you currently possess. And that’s okay, I’ll make my own happiness even with that fact. “You’re just trying to do what you can for the one you love in a shitty situation. Nayuta would understand that. So… so don’t beat yourself up about this. I never told anyone about Nayuta and I’m never going to.”

There was nothing familiar about her black hair, nor the mole under her left eye. You were sure you couldn’t say you’d ever met anyone with golden eyes with red rings in them either. There was no reason to feel like your senses had been set ablaze and the universe shifted.

You didn’t know this girl.

This girl was a stranger.

You knew this and yet you still fell to your knees as warm tears flooded your eyes without your permission.

You breathe.

“By the way,” you yawned, as it dawned on you that you never once asked for your new companion’s name. “what’s your name?” 

When there was no immediate response, you thought the girl fell asleep. “Nayuta,” you finally heard the feathery light reply. Nayuta pressed herself closely to your chest, listening to your heartbeat.

“I’m [First],” you squeezed.

Nayuta squeezed back.

You breathe.

“I didn’t, [First], please believe me! Don’t leave me!”

You slide down your visor.

“We can get married for real when we grow up,” you vowed once more as you clumsily led each other in your dance.

Nayuta’s smile was saccharin, “promise?”

“Promise.”

And you breathe.

“Hey, Nayuta, pick a country. One that doesn’t have a devil hunting association in it.”

“Seychelles,” Nayuta didn’t miss a beat, grinning the devilish grin you loved all the while. “We still need to have our honeymoon.”

The back of your fist strikes Moe’s throat before she has time to react.

“Don’t worry at all, Prez,” you kick the woman to the ground, grip on your axe tightening as you sit atop her. “I know you won’t tell anyone.” You wonder what those forest green eyes see when they look up at you, eyes wide as she gasps for air. You hold her jaw in place, gloved fingers digging into her skin.

“Stop-” her words come quiet, hoarse. “I won’t tell! I really won’t tell!”

She won’t say anything. No. She might. She hasn’t snitched in all these years. She could change her mind. Cut off her tongue. Her fingers too. And the toes. All of it needs to go.

“I could cut off your tongue,” you feel her breath hitch from she freezes under your touch. You feel the beat of a pulse, pounding like a drum. “but you could still use your fingers. I could cut your fingers and you could use your toes. I could cut off everything and you’d still probably find a way to get out a message with the stumps too.” Tears swell in Moe’s eyes and you barely feel her fists beating into your shoulder. I’m glad I hit her in the throat, you finally take note of her barely audible, ragged whispers. “You can say you won’t talk until you’re blue in the face but there is nothing that can stop you from ever changing your mind. I’m sorry. I really did like you.”

See? I became a bad person to you just now, didn’t I?

The weight of your axe is heavy as it follows the push of gravity guiding your hand into soft flesh below. There’s a quick breath, a gurgle, that slips from Moe’s lips and you raise your axe again.

Red droplets strike your visor and you raise your axe again.

Muscle and sinew decorate the dirty earth around you and you raise your axe again.

Again and again even when what you strike is hard rock instead of flesh until you raise your axe a final time, and you hear metal clink that isn’t your own.

Your neck cracks from the force you whip your neck and the devil flinches when your eyes meet, not daring to press its raised hand to the ground. When you look closely, you see a twisted green soda can wobbling underneath it. Your shoulders steadily heave from your fatigue, neither of you moving a centimeter. You can’t hold back a tired laugh from the absurdity, resting a hand on a knee as you push yourself up. “Sorry,” you titter, neither of you blinking as you step to the side. “You’re hungry, aren’t you,” you gesture to the body, still warm. “It’s okay. Eat it.”

The devil’s mouth trembles, eyes flittering between you and the still lumps on the ground. It takes a step back.

You blink, letting your hand hang loosely against your leg. “What are you waiting for? I said eat it.”

As if coming back to life, the devil on all fours takes one step forward - then another - until it rushes past you to begin its feast. You raise your visor when the devil turns its head, jowls soaked in blood, eyes narrow. It eats stiffly, eying you and the axe in your hand. You smile reassuringly, eyes soft.

The Rat Devil should be about ¥600,000 right?

ー

Nayuta squeals when you lift her feet off the ground as you laugh maniacally, arms safely tucked underneath her back and legs.

An evening walk on the beach is just what you need after a trying day at work. The moon is full and the evening Shonai air is sweet unlike the stink of the city, heavy with exhaust and blood. Thanks for not being a bitch this time, Nishida. The Rat Devil cost as much as you estimated it would, if not a bit higher.

The life you lead isn’t perfect but it has its moments.

“We’re going to fall!” Nayuta shrieks but her grin is wide and shining under the moonlight. She’s almost like a siren, you think, as the waves accompany her voice. The sand squishes underneath your toes, kicking up the waves as you spin and spin. One day when you carry her like this, she’ll be in a beautiful dress and veil just like you talked about when you were kids. 

“Relax,” you tilt your head back, tasting the ocean spray on your lips. “I’m never gonna drop you!”

ー

“[First],” Himeno calls in a sing-song voice as you walk out the door. “Wait for me, kiddo! I need you to give me a ride!”

Your hand grips the car handle as you tilt your head back with a loud groan, “Himeno, I’m going to work.” The sun hasn’t risen yet nor have the morning birds begun singing their songs. Eight months you have been able to successfully stave off this conversation.

Eight months.

You hope to make it nine.

“Wow,” Himeno jeers, undeterred and you know your stomach will be heavy with dread if you’re unable to shake her off your tail. Eight months you’ve been able to successfully avoid this conversation with Himeno and you don’t plan to break your record. “Someone gets a job and the moment she starts moving up in the world she forgets about all the people she met along the way.”

“Yep,” you click your tongue. “I'm one of those people. So it looks like you’ll have to wait until someone else decides to be your chauffeur. I’ll call Sebastian to retrieve you later.”

“So they’re paying enough at 7-11’s for you to afford Sebastian’s rates?” Himeno whistles, impressed and awed as she rests a large stack of ¥10,000 on top of the car. “Can you recommend me a position? If I’d known that, I’d have left Himeji’s ages ago.”

Blue stares into [color].

Wordlessly, you sit in the car and Himeno follows suit, quiet as you pull out of the driveway and far from the coziness of home. She waits nearly ten minutes to the hour before she opens her lips, a smile in her voice that is frigid. “You have the look of a killer now,” your eyes flit to your reflection in the rearview mirror. “I wonder how many things you had to kill to get eyes like that.”

“What’s the issue with killing,” you mutter, eyes on the empty road. How she found the money is of little consequence. She has it and that’s all that matters. “Why did you make me learn how to kill them if you didn’t want me to do it?”

“Those skills were for protecting yourself,” you scoff at her answer. What’s self-defense to her will never accommodate your ambitions. “Not going out of your way to get yourself killed. As long as you’re living under my roof-”

“Oh don’t worry, we won’t be living there for much longer,” you cut off your benefactor.

“We?”

“We!” The car comes to an abrupt halt as your glares turn on one another. “You and Ichika aren’t going to be here protecting us forever! You think Power actually has the ability to live on her own in a world of humans? You’re not going to live forever!”

“And you think you are?!” Himeno laughs at the ludicrous presumption.

“I’m going to figure things out by then!”

Three adult passports.

(I’ll need the forgeries too.)

Visa.

Housing.

Food.

Permanent Residency.

(Can’t believe I forgot about ticket costs. Where do I go for illegally flying devils out of the country, huh? And the pets. What do I do to bring-)

“[First]-”

���And I don’t need your help to do that! And I don’t need to be under your roof either, I’ll move out! I have enough!”

“ー stop!”

“I’M NOT ー!” Himeno balks as you scream, slamming your hand against the driver’s window. The glass cracks but it does not shatter. “ ー isn’t coming back and the one you’re stuck with now is me! And I know you hate that and you have to be reminded that your best friend died every time you look at me but I am not her! I’m never going to be her!” Those memories would never be yours. Makima was never going to be yours. Makima is Makima, Nayuta is Nayuta. The difference is night and day. “I’m not like her! I hate her! I hate,” your voice cracks and you rest your head on the steering wheel, squeezing the handle tightly. “I hate it. I hate that you only want to see her. You never want to see me.”

“When Kishibe brought you both to me, I wanted to take you in immediately. And I have to be honest, a good portion of it was because of who you used to be. But I know you, [First],” a hand rests on your back, warm, but you’re too tired to brush it away. “You’re brave and kind and you look out for the people you care about even if it means you have to take the brunt force of everything. Nayuta has no idea about this and it’s because you want to keep her safe.”

“I don’t want her to come to the city and be discovered again,” “I’ve found the Control Devil.” The five words you fear hearing the most. “A life where Nayuta can be free. That’s all I want.”

“I see you, [First]. I see you and I see Nayuta and I’m very proud of who you’ve become and the people you’ll grow into for as long as I get to see it. I just haven’t been doing a good job showing that and for that, I’m so sorry,” her voice is cloyingly thick and in spite of yourself, your eyes feel hot. “Even if I could go back and stop ー from dying, I wouldn’t. I would never give up having you in my life, not even for her. You, Power, Nayuta. All three of you are precious to me, younger sisters I’ve always wanted.”

“You already had a younger sister, idiot,” you wipe your nose against your sleeve, disregarding your disgust for the trail of snot it leaves on the fabric. “Does Ichika mean nothing to you?”

“More younger sisters,” Himeno laughs wetly. “The four of you give me a life that’s worth living. I love it when Power plays her anime at the loudest volume possible. I can even look back on Nayuta and Power’s fights with a smile, isn’t that funny? At the time those situations weren’t funny but that’s how sisters are, I guess. And you always thought you could be slick hiding that you could be as much of a brat as the rest of us. Well, except for maybe Ichika. You should have seen her when she was four.”

You laugh despite yourself, “Ichika was probably the most well-behaved four year old on the planet. You probably made your parents want to send you back to the hospital.”

Himeno chortles, “only half the time.”

A pleasant silence falls over the vehicle.

“I think it’s time to call Grandpa Kishibe and finally move from this place. The house is getting too small,” Himeno leans back in her seat and stares at the leather ceiling. “The geezer should foot the bill for everything, he never even sent me child support.”

“Nayuta wants to go to Seychelles,” you follow Himeno's example, resting against your seat. It's dawn now, you note the fingers of the sun peeking behind the clouds and painting the sky hues of rose, indigo and vermillion.

You love the dawn.

“I know a place even better than that,” it’s supposed to be a wink but with the eyepatch, who can tell. “Remember that Angel Devil I told you about? The place he lives is pretty damn snazzy and warm all-year round. A place where even devils can live freely.”

ー

You barely had time to dry your hands on your skirt when Rika burst through the bathroom door, chest heaving. “[First], come quick,” the girl’s eyes were wide with fear. “Moe and Nayuta got into a fight!”

You bolted through the door, shoving Rika to the side.

Class 3-C was a mess by the time you arrived and calling what likely happened was a disservice to what you were welcomed to. Desks were skewed to the side as if a tornado had blown through it, food strewn across the floor. No one noticed your presence, not when Moe sat on the floor holding her jaw, battered and nose dripping with blood and Nayuta’s short form towered over her with silent menace.

“Nayuta, stop,” you stand between the devil and the human foolish enough to invoke her wrath.

“Why?” Gold eyes glowed harshly.

“You’ll kill her.”

“Why do you care if she dies? You said she didn’t mean anything to you. So I don’t understand,” Nayuta appeared to stand perfectly still but you could hear the tremor in her voice. From rage or from wanting to cry, you didn’t know. “Why are you protecting this girl? I’m all you need. Aren’t I?” Taking a half-step forward, Nayuta gripped your arms as if they were her lifeline. “Aren’t I?”

One year ago, not long after you turned thirteen, a blazing star sought refuge in your chest.

The birth of the universe.

Within that birth, you willingly took a devil’s hand and ran across the playground of the divine welcoming all damnation.

You’d do it for as long as she wanted you.

“From now and forever, we are going to stay together. We’ll eat a lot together, sleep together and live a happy life together,” you hold Nayuta to your chest, closer than what is possible between devils and man. “More than anyone in the world, you’re the only person I need. And I’ll never want anyone else either,” you whispered, brushing your fingers against her silky hair. “I told you before, didn’t I? We’re not like them. You and me are gonna live forever.”

“You want to be with me?”

“I want to be with you.”

“You’ll stay with only me?”

“I’m always gonna stay with only you.”

“You promise?”

“I promise.”

“Let’s go home, okay?” When you felt the weak nod of your beloved, you wrapped Nayuta’s legs around your waist. Your initial steps were shaky, pacing backwards for a few seconds before you caught your balance. 

“I love you, [First],” Nayuta’s arms trembled around your shoulders and you hear the telltale signs of hiccuping.

“I love you too,” you held her closer if it was possible.

Warm droplets fall against your neck.

ー

Nayuta looks beautiful in her white dress, veil trailing delicately along the white sand.

translation notes.

織姫 「orihime」 - weaver princess

“If I became the monster to everyone but us and made sure we got home again, who would care if we’re unjust?”

[hunn1e-bunn1e]

My dearest lord of the burrow, I beseech you, please grace this mere peasant with another scrumptious Demiurge fic? You, my lord, are the only individual I have found in my travel on this desolate land known as Tumblr to create gender neutral or male reader Demi fics and one's that are not of a sexual nature.

If you would hear my plea, this one would be eternally grateful. You, my lord, may call me, 🥕Carrot.

Seraphim SB Part 2, Electric Boogaloo~

🐇.•°•.🐇.•°•.🐇.•°•.🐇.•°•.🐇.•°•.🐇.•°•.🐇.•°•.🐇.

Greetings, noblest 🥕Carrot anon, one has heard of your quest for gender-neutral and male reader Demiurge content and sends you this small offering to hopefully quench your thirst... even if this is only slightly Demiurge related... sorry about that. This particular work is a gn reader one as pronouns aren't mentioned at all, and it is a continuation of a previously received ask since there were no specifications in the ask you sent. —Benny🐰

Original Post

                                                                                                   

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Presenting…! An short overview of Seraphim SB's general information!

It wasn't mentioned in the original ask, but Seraphim SB is the heteromorphic race ‘Angel’ and has gotten to the maximum evolution and level, reaching the class of ‘Seraph’. I thought of a passive trait of theirs being that they have a natural holy aura around them that purifies anything within a certain distance of them. And by anything, I mean, living and non-living things.

As mentioned in the previous ask their aura harms those of undead or demonic origin, steadily chipping away at the health of those who are at the same level or higher and hacking away at the health of those of lower levels. The effect of Seraphim SB's aura is so powerful that even Ainz has to step away from them after a while after seeing his health become three-quarters of what it was just an hour ago.

As said above, Seraphim SB is a Seraphim; in angelology, Seraphim represents light, ardor (enthusiasm & passion), and purity. This would mean, after a little while in the new world their overall demeanor would become incredibly positive, bright, and enthusiastic.

The positivity they hold never dissipates even in the most serious or depressing situations, as their mind no longer allows them to feel negative emotions; their racial qualities completely blacking them out. They'll also take on a strange sense of innocence that makes those around them feel an irrational need to protect them from certain things and people. Seraphim SB's positivity also affects those around them, driving being into an almost deranged happiness if they stick around too long.

Because of Seraphim SB's holy origin, most if not all of the spells, skills & abilities they use are also of holy origin. Their particular skill is somewhat similar to a command order, but it's strictly directed at other angels. This skill, ‘Buisine’, allows players of the seraphim class to issue irrevocable commands to those of the angel race that are ten levels or less below them. Not only that, but angels and other holy beings have a natural want to follow, serve, and protect seraphim as they are usually a sign that a God is nearby.

It's already been established that Seraphim SB is the law of Nazarick; they are the judge and sometimes the executioner. But, who's the jury? Seraphim SB has two NPCs who act as their jury, each one is of a race that can split themselves into multiple consciousnesses with a maximum of six. They give off the appearance that each part has its own thoughts on each case, but in reality, they all share the same thoughts, goals, and morals stem from Seraphim SB. So to be clear, the “jury” is also Seraphim SB. It was also mentioned in another ask I received, but they can summon a sort of instant domain in the form of a grand courtroom that can seat thousands.

Let's talk about Seraphim SB and their relationship with others in Nazarick!

As stated in the previous post, Seraphim SB pays the arch-devil no real mind. They usually ignore most of the people around in favor of having a constant internal celebration instead. What do they celebrate about, you ask? Anything. Back on topic– Because Seraphim SB is physically and mentally incapable of having negative thoughts and opinions anymore, they usually fail to see the wrong in anyone's words or actions.

Demiurge wants to take over the world in the name of Ainz and themself and also happens to be kidnapping humans and doing unspeakable things to them at the Happy Farm? Okay! Sounds great! Shaltear was brainwashed and is fighting Ainz? That's awesome, Seraphim SB is rooting for both of them! Albedo wants to hunt down and kill any other players she finds? Cool! They're wishing her luck! 

Seraphim SB is also incapable of reprimanding and forgiving others, they can't identify that any wrong has been committed and because of that, have no reason to punish or forgive them. That may make you wonder how they can accurately judge others when they commit a crime against Nazarick, but they trust that the book of laws that Ainz gave them is correct and they abide by it without fail. They also have Albedo, Demiurge, and their NPCs to point them in the right direction when it's needed.

Because they trust so readily and are easily manipulated by others, Demiurge, lucky for him, has been assigned to Seraphim SB as a sort of protector and a balance to their morals. 

🔆•♡•🔅•♡•🔆•♡•🔅•♡•🔆•♡•🔅•♡•🔆•♡•🔅

🐇.•°•.🐇.•°•.🐇.•°•.🐇.•°•.🐇.•°•.🐇.•°•.🐇.•°•.🐇.

Reblogs are appreciated ~ 𔓘

Wanna see similar content? Check out my Masterlist!

[dailyanarchistposts]

J.6.3 If children have nothing to fear, how can they be good?

Obedience that is based on fear of punishment, this-worldly or other-worldly, is not really goodness, it is merely cowardice. True morality (i.e. respect for others and one-self) comes from inner conviction based on experience, it cannot be imposed from without by fear. Nor can it be inspired by hope of reward, such as praise or the promise of heaven, which is simply bribery. If children are given as much freedom as possible from the day of birth, if parents respect them as individuals and give a positive example as well as not being forced to conform to parental expectations, they will spontaneously learn the basic principles of social behaviour, such as cleanliness, courtesy, and so forth. But they must be allowed to develop them at their own speed, at the natural stage of their growth, not when parents think they should develop them. What is “natural” timing must be discovered by observation, not by defining it a priori based on one’s own expectations.

Can a child really be taught to keep themselves clean without being punished for getting dirty? According to many psychologists, it is not only possible but vitally important for the child’s mental health to do so, since punishment will give the child a fixed and repressed interest in their bodily functions. As Reich and Lowen have shown various forms of compulsive and obsessive neuroses can be traced back to the punishments used in toilet training. As Neill observed: “When the mother says naughty or dirty or even tut tut, the element of right and wrong arises. The question becomes a moral one — when it should remain a physical one.” He suggested that the wrong way to deal with a child who likes to play with faeces is to tell him he is being dirty. The right way “is to allow him to live out his interest in excrement by providing him with mud or clay. In this way, he will sublimate his interest without repression. He will live through his interest; and in doing so, kill it.” [Summerhill, p. 174]

Similarly, sceptics will probably question how children can be induced to eat a healthy diet without threats of punishment. The answer can be discovered by a simple experiment: set out on the table all kinds of foods, from sweets and ice cream to whole wheat bread, lettuce, sprouts, and so on, and allow the child complete freedom to choose what is desired or to eat nothing at all if he or she is not hungry. Parents will find that the average child will begin choosing a balanced diet after about a week, after the desire for prohibited or restricted foods has been satisfied. This is an example of what can be called “trusting nature.” That the question of how to “train” a child to eat properly should even be an issue says volumes about how little the concept of freedom for children is accepted or even understood, in our society. Unfortunately, the concept of “training” still holds the field in this and most other areas.

The disciplinarian argument that that children must be forced to respect possessions is also defective, because it always requires some sacrifice of a child’s play life (and childhood should be devoted to play, not to “preparing for adulthood,” because playing is what children spontaneously do). The libertarian view is that a child should arrive at a sense of value out of his or her own free choice. This means not scolding or punishing them for breaking or damaging things. As they grow out of the stage of preadolescent indifference to possessions, they learn to respect it naturally.

“But shouldn’t a child at least be punished for stealing?” it will be asked. Once again, the answer lies in the idea of trusting nature. The concept of “mine” and “yours” is adult, and children naturally develop it as they become mature, but not before. This means that normal children will “steal” — though that is not how they regard it. They are simply trying to satisfy their acquisitive impulses; or, if they are with friends, their desire for adventure. In a society so thoroughly steeping in the idea of respect for property as ours, it is no doubt difficult for parents to resist societal pressure to punish children for “stealing.” The reward for such trust, however, will be a child who grows into a healthy adolescent who respects the possessions of others, not out of a cowardly fear of punishment but from his or her own self-nature.

Most parents believe that, besides taking care of their child’s physical needs, the teaching of ethical/moral values is their main responsibility and that without such teaching the child will grow up to be a “little wild animal” who acts on every whim, with no consideration for others. This idea arises mainly from the fact that most people in our society believe, at least passively, that human beings are naturally bad and that unless they are “trained” to be good they will be lazy, mean, violent, or even murderous. This, of course, is essentially the idea of “original sin” and because of its widespread acceptance, nearly all adults believe that it is their job to “improve” children. Yet according to libertarian psychologists there is no original sin. In fact, it would be more accurate to say that there is “original virtue.” Wilhelm Reich found that externally imposed, compulsive morality actually causes immoral behaviour by creating cruel and perverse “secondary drives.” Neill put it this way: “I find that when I smash the moral instruction a bad boy has received, he becomes a good boy.” [, p. 250]

Unconscious acceptance of some form of the idea of original sin is the main recruiting tool of organised religions, as people who believe they are born “sinners” feel a strong sense of guilt and need for redemption. Parents to should eliminate any need for redemption, by telling the child that he is born good, not born bad. This will help keep them from falling under the influence of life-denying religions, which are inimical to the growth of a healthy character structure. Citing ethnological studies, Reich argued the following:

“Among those primitive peoples who lead satisfactory, unimpaired sexual lives, there is no sexual crime, no sexual perversion, no sexual brutality between man and woman; rape is unthinkable because it is unnecessary in their society. Their sexual activity flows in normal, well-ordered channels which would fill any cleric with indignation and fear … They love the human body and take pleasure in their sexuality. They do not understand why young men and women should not enjoy their sexuality. But when their lives are invaded by the ascetic, hypocritical morass and by the Church, which bring them ‘culture’ along with exploitation, alcohol, and syphilis, they begin to suffer the same wretchedness as ourselves. They begin to lead ‘moral’ lives, i.e. to suppress their sexuality, and from then on they decline more and more into a state of sexual distress, which is the result of sexual suppression. At the same time, they become sexually dangerous; murders of spouses, sexual diseases, and crimes of all sorts start to appear.” [Children of the Future, p. 193]

Such crimes in our society would be greatly reduced if libertarian child rearing practices were widely followed. These are obviously important considerations for anarchists, who are frequently asked to explain how crime can be prevented in an anarchist society. The answer is that if people are not suppressed during childhood there will be far less anti-social behaviour, because the secondary-drive structure that leads to it will not be created in the first place. In other words, the solution to the so-called crime problem is not more police, more laws, or a return to the disciplinarianism of “traditional family values,” as conservatives claim, but depends mainly on getting rid of such values.

There are other problems as well with the moralism taught by organised religions. One danger is making the child a hater: “If a child is taught that certain things are sinful, his love of life must be changed to hate. When children are free, they never think of another child as being a sinner.” [Neill, Op. Cit., p. 245] From the idea that certain people are sinners, it is a short step to the idea that certain classes or races of people are more “sinful” than others, leading to prejudice, discrimination, and persecution of minorities as an outlet for repressed anger and sadistic drives — drives that are created in the first place by moralistic training during early childhood. Once again, the relevance for anarchism is obvious.

A further danger of religious instruction is the development of a fear of life: “Religion to a child most always means only fear. God is a mighty man with holes in his eyelids: He can see you wherever you are. To a child, this often means that God can see what is being done under the bedclothes. And to introduce fear into a child’s life is the worst of all crimes. Forever the child says nay to life; forever he is an inferior; forever a coward.” [Neill, Op. Cit., p. 246] People who have been threatened with fear of an afterlife in hell can never be entirely free of neurotic anxiety about security in this life. In turn, such people become easy targets of ruling-class propaganda that plays upon their material and emotional insecurity, e.g. the rationalisation of imperialist wars, the Military-Industrial Complex, increased state powers, and so on as necessary to “preserve jobs”, for security against external threats and so forth.

[casual-praxis]

“Alternatively many ranchers recommend running away with their arms waving, and screaming.”

The fabled Alt-Vio makes his appearance!

He’s certainly..a character. More specifically, he’s a branching path from True-Vio that occurred very early on in the timeline.

CW: Mentions of Murder and general death!

Due to some influencer shenanigans Shadow got into, it resulted in a corral catching on fire, and, depending on the timeline, a few of Red’s (pink) slimes burned up in it. This was early enough that the trio hadn’t really gotten very close yet, and this caused immediate conflict between them all.

In the true timeline, the slimes were rescued and Shadow immediately set about making it up to Red for almost unintentionally killing his slimes for views on his stream. Vio found the whole situation to be a waste of time and resources, but as Shadow made more of an effort to be aware of his roommates, he let it slide.

In the alt-timeline, the slimes died, Shadow doubled down that it wasn’t his fault (they were pink slimes anyway, there's some literally right outside the gate), Red became even more distraught, and Alt-Vio decided that Shadow was going to be a hindrance and not worth keeping around. So he downed him in the slime sea. Like a Tarr.

He “justifies” it as being for science purposes, but it really wasn’t. Nothing was learned from it, except that people dying on the range wasn’t immediately suspected as foul play. Also, murder tends to have awful repercussions on your mental health.

Alt-Vio isn’t very sane in the slightest, as you might could tell. He actually does enjoy tormenting people, namely Red, but I won’t go into details (unless y’all are curious for some reason). He dresses the whole notion up as "scientific study", but it's really closer to torture if not just actual torture.

Also, let it be known that True-Vio would not enjoy murder. He jokes about it, has thought about it, and has no issues pushing Puddle and Fire slimes together to see what it do, but he does not want to actually harm real people.

Alt-Vio is an anomaly of the more extreme variety, and should not be looked directly at.

More notes below the cut if you’re interested!

But warnings first! It gets kinda dark. Feel free to skip over this one if dark themes aren't your thing, or if you'd like to keep them separate from the AU at large. Alt-Vio has a very minimal role in the narrative outside making Vio question his morality, so you don't have to acknowledge him, really. That's Vio's role anyway.

+ As seen above, Alt-Vio has some funky traits to him. His split tongue is unique to him, True-Vio doesn’t have one, though he does have the tongue piercing. Alt-Vio also doesn’t have the whole quantum slime stuff goin’ on, rather he was more enamored with the Tarr after axing Shadow.

As a result of their influence, Alt-Vio is more aggressive and prone to lashing out. His intelligence remains mostly in tact, but is slowly deteriorating as his nature becomes less human and more instinctive.

+ True-Vio encountered Alt-Vio while (unintentionally) phasing in his sleep. It seems that while unconscious, there’s a chance to link up with another universe briefly, and interact with the Vio there so long as they’re able to perceive him.

Alt-Vio, by that point, had been caught and was being transported back to earth (forced to remain awake for the whole year as a small punishment, considering all he did). He had no problems “regaling” True-Vio of all the things he did to his former roommates, especially once he found out True-Vio was fairly close to his.

True-Vio woke up abruptly before finding out what actually happened to Red, but Alt-Vio specifically kept it vague as to torment True-Vio with all the many what-if situations (“you have to know Red’s secret by now, hm? He trusts you, right? Just like he trusted me? He’s so cute when—”).

Note: the secret in question could be anything, Red has told Vio several secrets at this point. This is why it messes with Vio so bad - he doesn't know which one Alt-Vio exploited, if any. And truthfully, it wasn't any of them. That whole bit was entirely a non-sequitur Alt-Vio brought up specifically to fuck with True-Vio's head, as he knew it would.

True-Vio never found out what happened to Green or Blue before waking up, but Green met a similarly violent end (involving Dervish Slimes, if that tells you anything), whereas Blue was the reason Alt-Vio got caught.

+ I don’t actually remember where the idea for Alt-Vio came from. I think the reality-warping aspect just made me wonder what Vio would do if he encountered the literal worst version of himself.

+True-Vio has only told one person about his run in with Alt-Vio, and that person is Green. He probably wouldn’t have told anyone had Green not followed him outside to check on him after waking up.

Green was the first to reassure him that Shadow trusts him (and finds enjoyment in being tossed ((not held down, Vio's never even tried that)) into the sea, hence why he keeps approaching Vio), as well as how Vio would never do anything to intentionally harm Red or any of them.

If Vio were going to turn out like Alt-Vio, he would have already.

Alt-Vio doesn't change how any of them see him.

Alt-Vio isn't their Vio.

Bonus: bloody version of the picture + easier to see variants.

[tengritexas]

Alright here we go chat

Im playing an interesting game endorsing a candidate on tumblr but Im going to anyways. You can like it not like I dont care its cool.

This blog is aimed to remain apolitical but in the past few months its become increasingly hard to do so. Im now at the point where I must encourage you to vote.

I will be publicly endorsing Donald J Trump. And while Im certain that upsets most of my followers its important to clarify Id rather be your friend and win a heart than win a mind.

I do this for the sake of perserving a good conscious for myself

My reasons for endorsing Donald J Trump are as follows

-The shift of Taxes to Tarrifs:

Under the Trump administration you will not be taxed on tips or for working overtime. Instead that money will come from Tarrifs placed on China which will double as support for american factories and american jobs.

-The chronic health epidemic:

Robert Kennedy (under the trump administration) aims to stop the chronic health epidemic which I think is crucial not only for American youth but also for global health moving forward

-Defunding of CIA operations

Literally just yesterday multiple agencies raided a man over a rabid squirrel in what almost seems like a twisted comedy sketch.

Keep it plainly there are 2 sides of the CIA, one of which does not like you and wants to keep (what I believe) very important spiritual discoveries from the public eye. These discoveries need to become more publicly available

UNDER TRUMP, the CIA lost considerable funding which I believe has led to both assasination attempts. Trump hires private investment firms our of fear that this previously mention sector of the CIA acts autonously and unconstitutionally. This was briefly mentioned in the NASA UAP hearings of 2023

-Media machines/Smoke and Mirrors

I believe the media machine is a marvel of the elite class that currently rules America. I still have not been presented with a case of how Harris will solve the very real and very critical issues (thats not to say they arent there I merely havent seen them) her campaign has been essentially smoke and mirrors. If she wins it appears to me more so a victory for the media machine (which I have a personal vendetta against) than it being because of her capabilites

-Moral conscious and the Eagle Pass Crisis

I am a Tengrist and believe I should not disturb the natural order of things. Harris as the border czar has disturbed the natural order of Texas autonmy. She has done something which seems to me extremely irresponsible. Threatening to shoot Texas rangers and sending in national guard is something I will take serious. Those are my friends, my brothers, the people I see in class and you will not threaten my neighbors.

- The global stage and forever wars

While I think Trump makes overly ambitious claims that "the ukraine war will end in a month" and "israel will stop fighting in a month". I still think this is comperatively more optomistic than his counterpart. I personally do believe Trump having the only administration in which no war started is remarkable. The track record favors Trump here (though I do not believe he will wave a wand and create peace)

- What I do not see on the ballot

I have not seen any suggestions or signs of Trump wanting to take away any rights that the American people already possess. There seems to be this idea that we will move backwards. He supports LGBTQA+ platforms, He supports many diverse universities. Even recieved endorsements from Trans communities. I have seen people argue that your rights are on the ballot, I have not seen this to be true unless you are of the 1% that owns bump stocks (he did want to ban those but its related to guns)

Its your vote, and I suggest you vote your conscious as well. But I hope youll take these points into consideration.

For the sky, for the ground, for the soul.

[coffeeandmagicaltales]

Spare some lore about Selina and Sting Sharp and their parents? It’s been a stupid 2 days at work and I think they’re so cute 😭. That sketch you did of them all made me so happy!

If not no worries! Just wanted to drop in and say your OCs always pique my interest!

OHHH I feel so honored <3 I'd love to answer <3

Spoiler free (I still haven't finished writing my fics)

Sharp Sisters

Lets's start from the oldest- "Sting".

She's about 6 in the drawing. Adventurous, curious, pretty mischievous, and very brave... Also getting into trouble a lot. A LOT.

Both of her parents work at Hogwarts, so she spent her childhood in the castle (when possible), sleeping in her parents' chamber or at her Muggle and magical grandparents' house.

She got sorted into Hufflepuff and immediately fell in love with Quidditch, becoming the youngest beater on the team. That's where her nickname came from - dressed in Hufflepuff black and yellow colors, flying recklessly and incredibly fast, giving hard blows to opponents, she looked like a dangerous little bee.

(below how I imagine her in my delulu land in my head)

She spends lots of time in detentions at Hogwarts due to the crazy ideas she comes up with (that make her parents roll their eyes and just say "ugh, again"; they've become so done with it, they just don't care anymore, and the only thing they ask is: "Is she bleeding? No? Oh, well, just take as many points from her as possible."). She's a free spirit who doesn't like being closed in between walls and loves to explore the world on her own, unlike her younger sister, who prefers to study in the library.

Her relationship with her sister is very profound, and even though they are like fire and water and sometimes disagree, they love each other unconditionally. Sting spends lots of time with Selina and gives her support. She deeply worries about her little sister's timid nature and gets into fights each time someone calls little Sharp "a weirdo".

Her relationship with her parents is pretty complicated. It was really wonderful until her 6th year at Hogwarts when she decided to become an Auror despite her... well... certain health issues. Aesop argued with her many times, trying to convince her to find a less dangerous job, but she already set her mind and was too stubborn. It is said that Sting was the only person Aesop ever raised his voice at, too scared of her being injured just like him, or even worse. But, as a rebellious 17-year-old, she did what she wanted to do, ignoring her father's plead. Her mother, Morana, was more optimistic about her life choices (Sting was a Sharp for Merlin's sake!) and convinced Aesop to train her as best as he and her could, preparing Sting for the worst.

She became an Auror, one of the best in history, duh! If you were a criminal and somebody had spilled the tea that Sting Sharp is investigating your case, well, better head to Nepal and intend to live as a goat... But! She didn't like this job at all. Ministry's orders, things against her moral compass she was told to do frustrated her, and after a few years, she quit. Waiting for Aesop's retirement, she took many part-time jobs, also helped her godmother Poppy to catch poachers, and when her dad was finally retired, they both opened a private detective office, also working with Morana and Selina.

Lesbian, she married a long-time girlfriend of hers, had no kids.

The youngest Sharp- Selene (sometimes written as Selina, more Slavic version of that name, as she is half British half Slovakian)

This little grumpy pumpkin, about 1 in the drawing, was literally born at Hogwarts and spent her time close to her parents. Sometimes with daddy: sitting on his desk, incredibly interested in classes, lulled to sleep by his lectures, or playing with vials (unbreakable) filled with glitter and colorful water. Sometimes with mummy: sleeping in a scarf wrapped around her body during her lectures. Sometimes with her many teacher aunts and uncles, who loved to take her to their classes (especially Ronen and Garlick).

Her interest in potions was obvious from the beginning, but soon Aesop discovered that, in her case, there was a thin line between genius and obsession, and she preferred to experiment rather than play with her peers. Only her older sister seemed to understand her and accept that Selina is a bit different than other kids her age: always gloomy and avoiding anyone's company. She stood out from the crowd also thanks to her dad's tall genes, his grumpy and dreamy nature and, well, his look in general, along with dark eyes and hair, crooked teeth, big nose. She was never considered "pretty", often being compared to her father. Other kids giving her unpleasant comments like "I wouldn't date old Sharp's lookalike".

(below how I imagine her in my delulu land in my head)

Other kids hated the fact that she's two teachers' daughter (and other teachers are her aunts and uncles) and bullied her a lot, calling her "a weirdo" or "a teacher's favorite" (Sting, ironically, never had that problem). Her parents and sister tried their best to make amends with anyone who dared to hurt Selina, but she felt sad and lonely anyway. She was often found hidden somewhere behind dad's cauldrons in his class, crying. Her situation was breaking Sharps' hearts, and they came up with an idea to sign her up for an internship at Parry Pippin's shop during her 3rd year. That was a jackpot; Selina made friends with adult potioneers, no longer feeling alone, and her talents began to thrive. After Pippin's death, she, not his children, became the shop's owner and one of the best healers in Europe, working occasionally at St. Mungo's or giving lectures at Hogwarts when Aesop was not feeling well.

Her relationship with her sister is stronger than diamond. She supports the sometimes annoyingly talkative and loud Sting and is always ready to help her. Their hearts were both broken when Selina got sorted into Slytherin, away from the older Sharp.

She's a daddy's daughter, and, no matter how much she loves her mum, it's Aesop she runs to first and clings to his jacket. She preferred to spend time with him as he was quieter and calmer than Morana, who loved wild adventures, that, on the other hand, Sting preferred more. Morana sometimes felt guilty that she couldn't approach her youngest daughter as well as Aesop, but she found out that they both enjoy slow hikes and exploring the calm Tatra Mountains in Slovakia. Selina anticipated those even few weeks long lonely trips with her mother.

She met her husband in Pippin's shop (Selina and Aesop both found a cure for his quite rare sickness), Garreth Weasley's son, who later took Sharp's surname. They had a beautiful red-headed son - Aesop Sharp Junior.

I hope you enjoed this little spoiler free backstory of my characters <3

It was hard to find a NPC mix of Morana&Aesop but this one is the best option:

Sad dark eyes, dark brown hair, high cheek bones, bushy arched brows, big nose, upper lip shape- Aesop

Tanned skin tone, 10K freckles, round face- Morana

[pompadourpink]

Hi ! I hope u are doing well. I saw some advice you gave earlier and they were pretty solid so i came to ask for advice. I’m at college and i spent high school focusing on my studies, with zero boy interaction. However, i would like that to change now, but i realized that i dont know how to flirt. Like when we are at a bar, i can talk with people if we are a group, but i dont know how to give a hint, idk how to flirt seriously lol , im open for suggestions ! thank u :))

Hello! Dr Talkstoomuch is back in office!

I apologise for the delay, I received several bot messages after yours and it was out of sight. Given your lack of experience and the current climate, I feel obligated to talk about safety.

Where are you trying to go? If it's to bed, it will not take much effort as the average guy is easy: look for someone who is patient, playful, enthusiastic, curious, will take your pleasure seriously and is openly happy to be considered. If you want something more committed, find out what is important to you (beliefs, goals, dynamics).

Any guy in your life should be clean, emotionally, financially, and domestically autonomous, somehow health-oriented, a good friend, etc. - not just a potential husband.

PS - those things are grey flags, not green. Expected. When you accept less, you're just sentencing future you to cringe when she remembers Mr. Chanel #5 who had yellow sheets and whom she still dated for ten months out of politeness. Someone who is willing to make you through that will never love you.

Remember however that, while it is good to know what man you want, it is important to be his match. If you have issues with anger, family, religious trauma, get help first - making someone the solution to all your problems is both selfish and unrealistic.

Fishing 101:

Make eye contact and smile from across the room.

Shake his hand and share your name when he comes over.*

Compliment something innocent his jacket or his eyes, make it clear that you are looking at him and liking what you see.

Ask questions, listen to his answer, then respond with your own: give him an opportunity to show interest.

Find a reason to put your hand on his arm for a second, pick something off of him, brush against a tattoo or a scar.*

Ask him to hold something, to help you do something small, give him an opportunity to do something for you.

Make him laugh (without getting crass).*

If he mentions something you don't know about, ask.

Have a conversation with his friends, take an interest, make yourself known (they might talk about you later).

Be playful - he mentions being warm: I am indeed really hot, he compliments you: thanks, I couldn't *just* be hilarious.

*- When I mention being cautious, it's not in the sense that if you act like a slut you will be treated like one, it is that there are men for whom it is the only thing that you can possibly be, and you don't want to realise that once you're alone with them.

Filtering 101:

Be attentive during the first few minutes: is he actually flirting or just letting you know that you've been selected? Is he talking to a human being or buying a watch?

Explore special interests, be knowledgeable, go on adventures, keep yourself happy, have goals and morals, be more than a pretty smile. The wrong guy won't like that.

Be wary of a guy who uses cheesy punchlines or fake questions to break the ice: he may be avoiding vulnerability.

Don't let him do something you would never do to him. You are allowed to like different things, want monogamy, or not enjoy being picked on without being ridiculed.

See if he tries to act manly or blasé in front of his boys.

If he's too attached to his mother, you will come second forever.

When unsure how to feel, ask yourself if you would be okay or horrified if it happened to your best friend.

Be mindful of bums, you're not the salvation army.

If a date feels like Bateman having a Narcissus moment (aka mirror dates: you're there to show him his reflection and make cooing noises), he's already dating his ego.

Be wary of "modern men" who want to be 50/50 at the bank and 1950s in the kitchen, the laundry room, the bedroom, the nursery, at the supermarket and during social outings.

Survival 101:

If he wants nothing to do with other women - especially ones he is not attracted to or cannot have, if he only accepts to be around us when we are beneath him or obedient, flee.

A boundary is followed by the person who created it: it's "if you X, I will Y", not "you have to Z because I said so".

Someone shifty will not want to be recognised. Take selfies, introduce your friend, ask about his workplace, chat with the bouncer. If friends introduced you, tell them about the date.

You only need one guy to never go home again. Leave or make a scene if your safety is at risk: it is not your role to be malleable so that a man can frick tonight or continue having a girlfriend.

If a date blocks the front door or a driver takes the wrong road, get as far as you can and put the police on high speaker. We have lost enough sisters who didn't want to be a bother.

Say no to the shots, the cruel feedback, the unprotected woohoo. Betraying yourself for male attention will only attract hunters.

If he has no questions, trashes women, or tries to change you, he wants one-sided companionship, control, and free labour.

Have a plan B. If a friend leaves you behind or a date won't drive you back after you said no, you still have to get home.

Relationship 101:

Prince Charming is not coming. Do the work too.

Don't take personally someone's actions or preferences. Accept the breakup, ghosting, cheating - don't burn his car, move on.

A good man knows your wellbeing outweighs his ego. Go out for the first dates, wait to be comfortable to have intimacy.

Don't be afraid of the talking stage. A good partner is not just for dates and bedroom activities: butterflies fade, wit stays.

Don't be afraid to show who you are. If he's a 5am guy and you're a bat, let him workout and stay asleep. A good relationship is two people dedicated to teamwork, not robotic twins.

Treat yourself well, he will know what to do.

Don't entertain a man you would be afraid of divorcing.

Looking for someone forever is an unrealistic shopping list - people change, yourself included. Instead of trying to make the right long-term choice, make the right choice today to make tomorrow easier. If there is eventually a breakup, it will not mean that it was a mistake. Everything is temporary.

PUA methods to make you fight for validation 101:

Body count - it comes not from an abstinent virgin but from the guy who thinks you're a slut if you've had sex but also that he rented you for the night because he paid for your 9 dollar drink

Hot and cold method (is all in your business then semi-ghosts to to make you feel boring and miss the attention)

Mystery method (comes over because he wants you, ignores you completely and only talks to your friends)

False time constraint (acts charming then claims he needs to leave so you'll ask for his info or beg him to stay)

What are you looking for? (wants a step by step recipe to fool you)

Internalised misogyny (claims you're not like other girls)

Victim complex (has been deceived before, feels a connection)

John Wayne (calls himself an asshole so he can act like one and say he told you so, forcing you to be a "cool girl")

As usually, this is too long, but it's important.

Much love,

Rose

[fideidefenswhore]

Kinda interesting to think Mary secretly thought she didn't have any stepmoms at all. People always act like Anne's the problem, if she'd "known her place" pure Mary would've liked her. They try to make her out to be a person of totally rigid, unshakable morality, someone so above average human weakness we should see her as an example of unparalleled goodness we could never equal. And all that makes the burnings ok. Because a virtuous woman did it it's fine. But in social terms it sounds like she'd "go with the flow" like everyone else, say whatever to keep the peace, something Elizabeth is critcized for doing. And really interesting about declaring Edward illegitimate and Jane's marriage void. People always paint their relationship in this cutesy gloss, that Jane was devoted to her and reached out to her, that Mary felt it back, this is how she responded to a "real" stepmom, but now I'm wondering if she even liked Jane at all.

I mean, considering most of these accounts use quotes from Jane Dormer as their literal only source on Mary I's personality and reign...probably?

Mary was as much of a dissembler as Elizabeth for sure, I would say her dissembling just manifested differently. She also eventually came to be (mid 1536-1547, that is) nearly as much of a pragmatist as Elizabeth had to become during her sister's reign, just during her father's: leaving rooms Chapuys entered and refusing to speak with him, never voicing any opinion contrary to HVIII's policies, apologizing profusely and abjectly when servants and diplomats visited her household without express royal permission, etc. She became more resolute and less pragmatic during Edward VI's reign, imo, but there were reasons for this which make logical sense...the reign of children were always weaker and less stable, Edward Seymour's protectorship, by the terms of Henry VIII's will, was technically illegitimate (he hadn't been granted that position by him), arguably John Dudley's was as well, although it was much stronger, etc.

The evidence cited to argue Mary's affection for the Seymours in general and Jane is particular is...shaky, at best. For one, her propagandists certainly didn't seem to think denigrating Edward Seymour was anything that would be ill-received by her, since that was included in their tracts a lot. For another, it's generally like 1) Mary sent her a gift of cucumbers! (...ok? she sent her subsequent stepmothers lots of gifts as well), 2) Mary was her chief mourner in her funeral services, a position that was obviously assigned by HVIII and a position that, had she still remained Princess, would never have even been suggested (royals in the succession could not be chief mourners because that included funeral services in which their death might be thought of, which was treason), so likely stung on some level...

And this letter, which to me, says it all:

“Promises to continue in obedience according to her promises, both spoken and written, made to the King. I beseech our Lord to preserve your Grace in health with my very natural mother the Queen, and to send you shortly issue; which I shall as gladly and willingly serve with my hands under their feet as ever did poor subject their most gracious sovereign.”

'My very natural mother the Queen' is in the same sentence as a promise to 'willingly serve' Jane's issue 'with [her] hands under their feet'. Given the events of Edward VI's reign, that was obviously a promise she made because she knew it was what they expected her to say, rather than one she actually kept. There's also the context that there's no announcement of Jane being with child at the time of this letter, so it's a promise made for a future that's quite uncertain at this point, not necessarily seen as likely.

Unfortunately, there remains about only one succint, sentiment-absent conjecture about Mary's probable feelings regarding her second stepmother, particularly in the spring/summer of 1536:

"Was Mary perhaps also deflated that Jane had not tried to prevent her ordeal? Jane and her supporters had promised a turnaround, but nothing had eventuated; instead she had had to concede more than she anticipated. In this matter, Chapuys had been her sole supporter." Inside the Tudor Court, Lauren Mackay

[secretsofthewilde]

About your post about misogyny in fandoms and shipping spaces, I do 100% agree how a lot of female fans do have internalized misogyny based on how they navigate fandom spaces. It doesn’t have to be extreme like hating all women, but people do have biases where they tend to gravitate to more male-dominated shows or would justify why they hate m/f or f/f bcuz it’s uncomfortable for them to write about the female body due to personal reasons. Which i used to be as a teenager but overtime i learned to come to terms with my own version of feminitity and became more comfortable with writing m/f ships. Sometimes when i see that brought up, im like “okay dont u see there is a problem there? like u discomfort of the female body has some ties to misogyny and u cant just write it off as an excuse for the majority of female fans.” Even the defense of the lack of female characters is also flawed due to the fact that some ppl would desperately two male characters together even tho one character was in two scene for less than 2 minutes yet completely ignore the other female ccharacter that has more interactions with the male lead. You could also throw in racism as this is also always used for WOC and justified as “oh not everything has to be about shipping” when those the same ppl that ship anything and everything in other fandoms

Yes, you are so very right!! And thank you for giving me an excuse to continue to talk about this. (Post anon is referring to is here x)

I tried not to generalise too much in the initial post bc I think there's different reasons and I guess flavours of internal misogyny which contribute to individual fans dismissal of f/f. Your example isn't exactly relatable to my personal experience, but it is one that makes sense to me and is something I assume is the case for many others too (including one of my best friends actually!). For me personally, I knew I was queer around the same time I got into fandom (so quite young), but despite being aware of this I still found myself feeling uncomfortable or even guilty for looking for anything f/f. I think that this was bc there was this ingrained fear that by engaging with female characters in any way I was sexualising them*. Which is ridiculous in retrospect, considering there's no sense of guilt for so many of us to engage with male characters in ways that are actually sexualising them.

Bc of the patriarchal society we live in we tend to see male characters as "neutral" ones (the same way whiteness is considered "neutral"**). By engaging with male characters repeatedly and normalising both the general celebration of them but also the sexualisation or queering of them, we ended up somehow creating an environment where male characters being queerified in fandom is seemingly more neutral than doing so with female characters - by which I mean that we expect to see people in fandom creating and celebrating m/m or m/f ships of male characters in any given fandom regardless of who they are canonically, whereas to do so with female characters is often considered to be unconventional or strange. I mentioned briefly in the post about the projecting of self onto male characters, and I think that's because they offer us a "neutral" character to explore queerness but also just multifaceted characters in general. There's so much more fanworks exploring things like the nature of morality or mental health issues using male characters than there are with female ones. That's because our engagement with female characters is kind of stuck in this area where we can't be neutral with them.

With the way that fandom discourse works nowadays we often analyse our characters as being figures of representation***. This means that even though we are now getting more media with female characters at the front of it, we often view them through the overly critical lens of "how is this representing us?". Even something as shallow as a joke about the character enjoying retail therapy then becomes something that is used as an excuse to tear the character apart, because we don't want to be seeing what we have been taught to view as negative female traits on our screens. Women can be bitchy, they can be jealous, and even evil. We need to learn to recognise that our discomfort in seeing them portrayed as such on our screens isn't always due to being upset about the representation of all women, but rather our discomfort in seeing these traits within ourselves.

*There's something particularly difficult about combating internalised homophobia when you're young and also learning about feminist ideologies where we want women to not be viewed as sex objects. I think this may also be a huge contributing factor for queer fangirls' tendencies to subconsciously project themselves onto male characters.

**'The Matter of Whiteness' by Richard Dyer explains this theory really well and is an academic essay that I highly recommend everyone read. I also think it's a pretty good starting point if you're not familiar with reading academic texts and are interested in intersectionality, racial bias, media analysis etc

***I'm borrowing from Dyer's theory here, which essentially argues that a black character's existence will always be viewed (and judged) as a representation of all black people. In comparison we will watch white characters and view them as their own individual character. To apply this to my above points; we don't question whether it's bad representation for our male lead to enjoy watching action films because we just view that as a character trait of his, whereas we will be critical of the female lead who enjoys watching chick flicks because we will then view her as a shallow representation of women.

[aptericia]

I’ve been thinking about this for a while, but I’m gonna be brave and post it since my friend @dazzlerazz was talking about AI art recently. Razz I realize that we probably disagree on this, and I hope you know that I respect both you and your opinions and will not get angry if you want to convince me to change mine 💕

First off, I personally do not like AI art. As an illustrator, my career is one of the most jepoardized by the spread of AI content. I’m also part of the group that finds a lot of AI art viscerally uncomfortable to look at and I avoid it for that reason. But all that said, I have never liked the argument that “AI is bad because it’s not human”.

Art by its very nature strongly benefits from the personal history, cultural awareness, and generally what’s known as “creativity” that computers will likely never be able to replicate. But my point is that lacking “creativity” or “humanity” is, in and of itself, not a moral problem. A moral problem is something that actively causes harm to people. The fact that AI fails at a major function of art is a technical issue, not a moral one. AI can’t include those personal touches, which means it’s poorly suited to many kinds of art, but it does not make it “evil”.

Ultimately, the way I think of art is that it’s a form of self-expression and communication between individuals. By that definition, AI cannot and will not ever be art. But if it’s not art, we have to realize it’s a tool, and the only thing that can make it “good” or “evil” is how people use it.

The reason I think so many people get worked up about AI’s “humanity” is that, understandably (see the above point about self-expression) we’re very sentimental about art. That sentimentality is a valuable asset. But at the same time, I’ve improved both my craft and mental health significantly by being able to separate it out. There are aspects of the art process that benefit from logic, habit, or random chance over personal feelings. Logic and habit and chance are not evil, they are also valuable assets. Logic and habit and chance being your only assets also does not make you evil. It’s just that if that’s true, as it is with AI, you shouldn’t pretend that you can do the sentimental parts as well.

And that’s where AI art does become a moral problem, and where it might be considered “evil”—if it’s used for something it can’t do, by people who don’t care about the result, to the detriment of others’ careers and lives. “Souless” content that saturates the market with recycled ideas is a real problem, and AI makes such content easier than ever to create. But I’d like the conversation to focus on that, rather than the nebulous morality of the tool itself. Hate AI all you want, I do too, but the argument should never be about the inhuman tool over the humans who use it.

[not-poignant]

Looking forward to the new chapter of UtB! Also I learn a lot hearing your thoughts on fandom culture, and I was wondering why you think puritanism is getting stronger? Lately I’ve experienced it a lot both online and irl.

Hi anon,

I could write like a 10,000 word essay on why I think moral puritanism is getting stronger in the world, and how that intersects with increased moral panic, and 'anti' or fancop behaviour among fandom.

But I think there's more than one reason, and that at the centre of it, is the radicalisation of political extremes alongside the disdain for human life and education in the USA specifically. In non English-speaking cultures, antis are often considered a uniquely American phenomenon, for example. (They're not, but I do think some of the problems start there).

And from there it's necessary to look at:

The high presence of evangelist religion and their millions in USA politics in particular, and the influence this has on the news and government systems from the top down, affecting legislation, what we see on the media, what gets censored, who gets impacted (SESTA/FOSTA etc.) and so on. When companies like Paypal or similar say they won't support certain sites because they don't support sex workers or explicit artwork, we see extremist perspectives being normalised into the mainstream. Puritanism becomes baked into the system, and accepted as normal. And it has a domino effect, taking one thing away usually means to another thing being taken away, and by 'one thing' I usually mean like... equality, access to basic human rights, and more.

The presence of certain billionaire TERFs in UK politics actively working to destroy legislation over there gives a platform to hateful, bigoted extremists of all kinds, including Nazis (as seen in Australia recently, during a TERF event where Nazis turned up in open support). Also, I'd like to add that a lot of anti/fancop thinking is generally SWERF, anti-kink and eventually TERF in nature, and often homophobic and transphobic even when it's perpetuated by queer folk.

A long-term attack (we're talking over several decades now) on education (especially the humanities and any area that teaches critical thinking) including gutting the funding to libraries, colleges, high schools, primary schools and not increasing the pay of teachers, decreasing the general intelligence of US citizens in IQ tests across multiple metrics (except spatial reasoning). This, combined with the lack of emphasis on teaching nuance and critical thinking, means you get people primed to make didactic, black-or-white decisions and often are prone to radicalisation and black-or-white thinking. There's an increasing lack of ability to understand complex or even reasonably moderately complex thinking tasks. A great example of this was re: anti-vaxxers who said 'if masking works so well, why do you need vaccines' because there was a complete inability to understand that just because something works well, doesn't mean it works 100% of the time. There was a consistent inability too, to grok things like the swiss cheese model. That's not the only reason people are anti-vaxxers and there are some extremely smart people who are anti-vaxxers, but among broader populations, a lack of basic appreciation of nuance and risk mitigation in health was a huge issue. (And it's fairly easy to see this happening in many fandom discussions when we discuss how racism in fiction is generally not great, but that rape in fiction does not cause rape in reality.)

I know the above paragraph is long and unwieldy but it doesn't actually come close to capturing a lot of my thoughts on this so slafkjdsa it'll have to do though. The tl;dr is 'the government said philosophy and critical thinking isn't worth money, so a lot of people don't know how to do it, and anyone who can do it is often attacked or viewed with suspicion' (see also: The increasing suspicion and hostility towards experts in their field x.x). (Oh see also: A lot of people thinking YouTube videos count as 'valid research' for their viewpoints, and a lot of folks just...not ever learning how to research in general).

Something something social media privileging inflammatory and provocative takes as well as clickbait etc. encouraging people to often say things in the worst or least nuanced way possible.

The systemic attacks on democratic processes in the USA (and the UK and Australia and many other places).

The loudest and most obnoxious voices are often the people saying the stupidest shit. As in: It will feel like puritans are everywhere (and there's definitely more of them), but they're also just louder and getting more attention than they used to. It's misleading. Anti-vaxxers are actually a tiny minority for example, and antis are a minority in fandom, they're just...the loudest and the most willing to try and murder real people to defend the rights of fictional characters.

Er so. That's some of it anyway. There's more, absolutely, because I could talk about the presence of puritanism in a lot of levels of our experience/s, whether you're religious or not.

It's frustrating writing about this because I fall into the same trap of knowing that I can't talk about this in as nuanced a way as I want to, even if I get to do it in 1000 words instead of like, a miserable amount of characters on Twitter. Anyone thinking 'but it's not always like that!' or 'but not in every situation!' like trust me, I know. But if I sat here caveating everything that deserves a good caveat this post would blow out even more.

Basically if you try to stop educating your people as much, don't teach them how to research, debate or learn (yes, you have to learn how to learn), and don't give them access to basic needs, and gut your democracy/s, and the people at the top believe a fictional being cares if they're virgins or not or have abortions or not, and you don't care if people commit genocide against the children of your nation because that's not as important as the right to kill them in a moment of anger..., and you create a world where the children of your nation are primed to develop PTSD due to the fear of being gunned down while learning, you create a really great environment for radicalisation, extremism, the safety and comfort of puritanism (i.e. following very strict rules in the hope of fixing what's wrong with the world) while people look for a solution to why they feel so empty and hopeless in their lives.

[crescent-dreams]

Creator's Corner - Uissuteffu

How did you become a fan of the Inuyasha fandom?

Inuyasha wasn’t the first, but it was definitely the gateway to my love of anime. When the show was put on hiatus to wait for RT to finish the manga, I craved more! I started reading fanfic to fill the gap while I patiently awaited The Final Act.

What are your favourite fanfic tropes as a writer?

All the tropes! To me, fanfiction is about embracing fantasy. I avoid it in original writing, but tropes are fun to share with countless others in the community. I don’t know if I’ve met a (non-morally questionable) trope that I haven’t embraced.

And as a reader?

Haha! Same answer as above. I’m partial to pack dynamics and pining, though.

Which of your work is your personal favourite? The one you are most proud of?

Ikigai. I think it was probably my most unique premise, and I’ve spent a lot of time world-building. I have roughly three books worth of content prepared for it. Plus, it explores issues with mental health through various characters, and I think I’ve handled them with care. When readers leave comments affirming that, it makes me feel extremely proud.

Which SessKag fanfiction by another author is your go-to choice for a great read?

This is an impossible question! First of all, Gilded Sapphire contains many authors that I could list as my favorites. Anyone whose interview pops up in these spotlights likely has a story I’ve revisited several times. I’ll choose someone new to the server whose stories I often revisit. It’s still a hard choice, but I’ll go with Transgressions by Wonderbug (please heed the tags if you read it).

What do you think makes a good story?

A good story has one of two things: creativity or a strong grasp of language, and the ability to use it to invoke imagery. A great story has both!

Is there anything you need while writing? Snacks? Music? A comfy blanket?

Nope. My dynamic when it comes to writing is basically “If I fits, I sits”. I write in bed, in the shower, outside, inside, at the desk, on the couch, on my phone, on my tablet, on the pc. There’s no ritual to it at all.

How do you get your ideas? In your dreams? In the shower?

I don’t know, really. They just kind of hit, and I jot them down in Google Docs.

If you could meet an Inuyasha character, what would you tell them?

I’d like to meet Tōga so I could tell him he’s kind of an asshole for putting Sesshōmaru through that shit in the name of teaching compassion. THERE ARE BETTER WAYS, MY DUDE!

As a writer, which animal (real or otherwise) best describes you?

Can we consider yōkai animals so that I can say “Shirime”? They’re harmless, terrifying little creatures that thrive on scaring people. As a writer of primarily angst and horror, I’d say that’s fairly fitting. P.S. Don’t Google it. Just don’t.

What is your kryptonite as a writer?

I definitely struggle most with trimming dialogue. I’m selectively mute in real life, so conversation isn’t natural or instinctive for me, and I think that often shows in my writing.

What advice would you give someone who wants to start writing?

My answer to this is always a Stephen King quote from his (fantastic) book “On Writing”: “If you want to be a writer, you must do two things above all others: read a lot and write a lot.”

You can find @uissuteffu on Ao3, Tumblr, Twitter, and Carrd! And please check out our Creator's Corner Masterlist for all our past creators!

[applepato]

Here’s a lil something I wrote for this year’s May Trope Mayhem! I’ve been meaning to do something for this challenge all month and now I’ve finally finished my college project so I can focus more on writing :]

Fandom: Sanders Sides Tags: analogical, virgil is a vampire, biting, kissing Prompt: Vampiric Feeding Wordcount: 1312 AO3 link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/47175820

“Virgil?” Logan called, voice echoing through the seemingly-empty apartment. “Are you here?”

It was a stupid question, really, Logan thought. Being a vampire, Virgil was unable to go outdoors during the day, for fear of becoming a pile of ash by the side of the road, and from what  Logan could tell, Virgil didn’t leave all that much during the night either. He preferred to get deliveries from the local butcher shop rather than seek out a more lively source of food.

That was one of the reasons Logan hadn’t immediately run for the hills upon realising his roommate was a vampire - that and the way his eyes glowed softly, drawing Logan's gaze wherever he went...

Logan shook himself out of his musings with a frown. Now was not the time to be daydreaming.

“Virgil?” he called again, knocking on his roommate’s door. “Are you okay? I was going to watch March of the Penguins, would you like to join-”

The door burst open and Logan jumped back, startled.

His roommate stood in front of him, wearing ripped black jeans and a black tank top in place of his usual hoodie. Logan carefully didn’t stare at the vampire’s exposed skin and forced himself to meet his eyes. His eyes that were- exhausted.

Deep black shadows hung underneath his eyes and, for once, Logan didn’t think there was any makeup involved. Even the bright purple of his irises seemed more dull than normal. He swayed slightly on the spot, his naturally pale skin almost translucent in the faint light shining from the closed hallway curtains.

Logan put his hands out as if to steady Virgil, and said, alarmed, “Virgil? Are you quite alright?”

“Oh, hey Logan. Yeah, I’m okay- just-” he shuddered a bit, “Just hungry.”

Logan widened his eyes. “You haven’t eaten? Wait here, I will get you some-”

“There isn’t any.” Virgil interrupted.

“What do you mean? Surely, there should be some left over from Friday’s delivery.”

Virgil shook his head. “There wasn’t a delivery on Friday. James texted me saying there was a delay and that I’d have to wait till next week. I thought I had enough in the freezer but there’s none left.”

"Shit.”

Despite his state, Virgil laughed. “Yep, that about sums it up.”

Logan’s brain was whirring, running through all the possible options and discarding them just as fast.

Logan could go out and buy some blood? Nope, it was 5pm on a Saturday, the butcher’s wouldn’t open again until Monday.

Virgil could just wait until then? No, Virgil had told Logan that vampires could only last around three days at most without eating and any longer than twenty-four hours could be detrimental to their health, as demonstrated by the shaky man standing in front of him.

…Virgil could go out and hunt? Logan shuddered. Virgil would never. And anyway, aside from the obvious moral issue, Virgil was in no fit state to do that at the moment.

Fresh animal blood was always a possibility, however wild animals would be exceptionally difficult to catch for a sick vampire and domesticated animals were not an option.

Ah.

Logan had a solution.

“Bite me,” he said bluntly.

“What? Logan, no-”

Logan interrupted him, looking right into his eyes, “Virgil, the next chance you will have to get blood will be Monday morning, and with your current state, I sincerely doubt you will make it that far. At least, not without serious damage to your physical health.”

Somewhere in the back of his mind, his self-preservation instincts were screaming at him to stop offering himself up on a figurative platter to a hungry vampire, but the louder part of his mind was inexplicably focused on the sheen of sweat across Virgil’s face and the slight tremors running through his body. This was logical. This would save Virgil and come at little cost to himself.

Provided Virgil was able to control himself.

Well, no time to back out now; Virgil still seemed unsure but he nodded slowly and muttered a small, “Okay.”

He gestured into his room. “Should we- Maybe it would be best to do it in here? You’ll be able to sit down on the bed if you need.”

The two entered Virgil’s room and turned to face each other. Virgil was close enough that Logan could count the freckles dusting his cheeks. Or he would’ve been able to had he not been distracted by trying to keep his breathing even.

“And you’re sure you’re okay with this?”

Logan nodded, cleared his throat, and said, “Yes. This is the logical solution.”

“Right,” Virgil took a breath - out of habit rather than necessity. “It might hurt a bit, just at first.”

And he stepped closer, until they were only inches apart. Logan hadn’t really noticed the height difference between the two of them until now. Virgil’s mouth exactly lined up with Logan's neck.

The sensation of Virgil cupping his hand around the back of Logan’s neck surprised him, goosebumps tingling across his skin. Virgil moved his head closer, opened his mouth and sank his teeth into Logan’s skin.

A small gasp escaped Logan’s mouth as Virgil’s needle-sharp teeth pierced him. Although he had expected the pain, a warning wasn’t enough to dim the shock.

A moment passed and Logan began to feel a tugging sensation in his neck. It didn’t hurt anymore; if anything, it was bordering on pleasant. Logan supposed that was an evolutionary tactic to keep prey from struggling too much.

Logan didn’t struggle.

He let Virgil push him gently back into the wall behind them. Without thinking, he placed his hands on the shorter man’s waist, tugging him closer until they were pressed together. It may have been Logan’s imagination, but he could’ve sworn as his own body was drained of warmth, Virgil’s usual chill seemed to lessen slightly.

And just as lightheadedness began to creep up on him, Virgil pulled away. Logan swayed for a moment and his roommate caught his arm, worry clear in his violet eyes.

“I’m sorry, did I go too far?” There was an edge of panic to his voice.

Logan shook his head, although he did let Virgil guide him to the bed where he sat down gratefully. Virgil took a seat next to him and asked, “Are you okay?”

“Yes, I believe so,” Logan offered a smile.

Virgil nodded, although he still seemed unsure of himself. There was a silence, broken only by the tapping of Virgil’s fingers; a full meal always left him with a burst of energy.

Logan couldn’t help but admire the vampire, so different from the person who had opened the door fifteen minutes ago. His face, although still much paler than Logan’s, was tinged pink, his eyes were glowing a soft iridescent purple, and he just seemed stronger. Less likely to blow away in a summer breeze.

Virgil turned towards him and, before he could think about the absurdity of what he was about to do, Logan leaned forward and kissed him.

It barely lasted a few seconds before Logan came to his senses and pulled back. “I apologise,” he said quickly, “I should have-”

He broke off as Virgil surged forward and met his lips with just as much enthusiasm as Logan himself. Logan’s mind went static-blank for a second before his brain caught up with the current situation.

The taste of iron inevitably met his tongue, his own blood sweetened by the delicate touch of Virgil’s mouth. Virgil put one hand on Logan’s waist and the other behind his neck, fingers accidentally brushing the bite mark in a way that made Logan shiver.

It was a long moment of overwhelming sensation before the two finally broke apart. Virgil smiled shyly. “Thank you. For, you know, letting me bite you.”

Logan smiled back as he realised he really wouldn’t mind being bitten again.

[lingshanhermit]

Lingshan Hermit: Will This World Become Better?

In September 2015, the United States Environmental Protection Agency accused the German Volkswagen Group of installing special software in the vehicles they manufactured in order to circumvent federal vehicle emissions regulations. Simply put, Volkswagen falsified vehicle emissions data - the actual pollutant emissions from the vehicles they produced were 40 times higher than the federal emissions standards. According to news reports, as many as 11 million vehicles were involved. Volkswagen will face enormous lawsuits and fines for this. Not long after the Volkswagen emissions scandal, Volkswagen's subsidiary Audi also issued a statement admitting that they had done similar things.

You may feel this has nothing to do with you, but this concerns everyone because we all need to breathe air. You need it, your children need it, even your cats need it. What Volkswagen did undoubtedly harms the health of every living being on this planet. Similarly, Japan's Environment Minister Shinjiro Koizumi recently stated that they will dump radioactive wastewater from the Fukushima nuclear plant into the Pacific Ocean because they have "no choice." I don't know how many companies like Volkswagen or governments like Japan's are secretly doing things that harm us, but based on my understanding of human nature, there must be many such cases—in America, in Europe, in Asia. What has been exposed is just the tip of the iceberg, with greater sins being concealed and unknown to us. In the past 200 years, rapid technological advances have seemingly made our lives more convenient than in the past, but at the same time, we have also paid a high price—animals and plants are going extinct every minute. When I was little, I could often see all kinds of insects on the window screens, but now most are gone. Some scientists predict that in 200-300 years, the largest land mammal will be cows. Those hippos, rhinos and other large mammals will be long extinct. Compared to 100 years ago, our transportation is much more convenient now, but at the same time, we have to endure breathing air polluted by vehicle emissions. With the support of modern technology, we have become very lazy—we can no longer go back to the days without cars. Perhaps we are acquiescing to these big companies earning our money while secretly damaging our health.

Whenever I see things like this (the Volkswagen scandal), it makes me lose faith in humanity. If we analyze why these big companies do such things, you can trace it back to their values. Perhaps in the beginning, they were people with the right values, people of integrity, but in the face of enormous profits and pressure, how long can their beliefs withstand? Cracks will soon appear, and it may not take long for their entire value system to start collapsing. When they start doing evil, they will give themselves ample justification—they may feel guilty at first, but gradually they will convince themselves, saying "Other companies are doing even worse things. Compared to ISIS who beheads people, we're just emitting some gases." They will make themselves believe they have done no evil. Slowly they will no longer feel they are doing evil, and eventually they may even feel that the people obstructing their evil-doing are the ones doing evil instead. In the past, they may have felt such actions were not good according to their moral system, but now they don't believe doing so will harm them personally—other than causing some slight unease. On the contrary, they believe it benefits them—it allows them to earn more money. Although statistics tell us 80% of the world's population has religious beliefs, the truth is the world has reached a point where most people only believe in this life—not the afterlife. Most people don't truly believe in their own faiths, even if they may seem devout, praying morning and night every day. For the sake of profit, they can betray anything. Without huge profits and pressure, many Western companies are still willing to pretend to have morals and principles, but under enormous business interests, they cast all that aside.

"Humankind is still progressing (though haltingly), and such progress is often driven by a minority. Without the calls and protests of animal rights groups and everyone's efforts, I believe the royal family living in Buckingham Palace may still not realize to this day what grave mistakes they made and how many lives they owe—just to maintain a fancy, majestic display, they killed a large number of black bears. Fortunately, they have come to realize this and are prepared to make corrections. Making mistakes is not frightening; what's frightening is making mistakes and refusing to change. Those who persist in their mistakes are the most hopeless people in the world." - Excerpt from Lingshan Hermit's 'Will This World Become Better?'

I wrote the above 10 years ago. Many things have happened in the world over the past decade: Donald Trump became president of the United States, the United Kingdom decided to leave the European Union, ISIS rose and fell, smartphones have become ubiquitous, and people no longer read newspapers. I'm 38 now too. Over the past 10 years I've seen and experienced many things, a lot of which made me lose faith in humanity. 10 years ago I confidently declared I would do many things, and over the past decade I have indeed kept doing them. I will continue to do so in the future. Over the past 10 years I've experienced much success as well as setbacks. These 10 years have taught me many things, one very important fact being: No one can be changed unless they want to change themselves. It is absolutely impossible to change even the tiniest habit of another person. No one will admit they are wrong either, no matter how ridiculous their mistakes—they will not believe they are wrong. Humans are the best at finding excuses for themselves. Everyone loves themselves to the point of madness. They love their own perspectives with the same fierceness a mother tiger protects her cubs. Mark Twain said: "Convincing someone they've been duped is harder than duping them." The most unshakable thing in this world is a person's established perspectives—even harder to shake than the Earth itself. Compared to getting someone to abandon their perspectives, I believe it would be easier to cement together the 300 billion stars in the Milky Way galaxy with concrete.

To change the world, we must change most people's values. According to 2019 statistics, there are now 7.7 billion people on this planet—a massive number. Let alone 7.7 billion, even changing one person is extremely difficult. If you truly want to practice Buddhist teachings, you have to overturn almost your entire worldview—Buddhist principles are a completely different world from what you learn in textbooks. From my years of experience, most people don't actually change their original perspectives. They just pretend to possess Buddhist values—even they themselves may not realize this. To change a person's ideas is tantamount to upending their entire world—they have to negate almost everything they were born with and grew up believing—negate their parents, teachers, the things they believed since childhood, negate the entire value system they built over 20-30 years. Not everyone has the courage to completely overturn everything and start over. In fact, only an extremely small number of people have such courage. To change the world requires rebuilding most people's values, which must start from rebuilding the values of a minority. Then that minority influences more minorities, until the minorities become a majority—an extremely lengthy process. From the Volkswagen emissions scandal, we see that the people making such decisions do not care if others' interests are infringed upon. They only care about immediate benefits. The Volkswagen board members are all such people. To avoid such things happening, most people's mindsets must change—to the point where most Volkswagen board members would not think this way, or even if some did, they would be the minority. This is very difficult. It is not an achievable short-term goal.

Will this world become better? Perhaps, who knows. But we must still continue doing the right things.

This article was first published on October 10, 2019.

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灵山居士：这个世界会变好吗？