#tw overthinking

[wandasvamp]

i hate being insecure. i hate being too much. i hate overthinking. i hate not being enough. i hate being jealous. i hate comparing myself to others.

[mad0katsuki]

I hope a car crashes me, anyways it’s normal in my city to d!e from a car crash.

[1h4v3th3m00n]

If you could get money for overthinking id be rich

[itsguysnightitsironic]

Fur coats and pumpkin labyrinths.

What would be Crete if Theseus, dagger in hand, enter the maze and the Minotaur exited, using the front door, wearing the hero's head and wearing it better? What would be Theseus then? A scapegoat? A body for something divine to use and scream, as an oracle trapped between the hands of her gods?No mind or self, just, skin and fur.

I would like to say that this started as just a pumpkin labyrinth idea and I lost my mind, and I blame all the hot johns and I'm glad they are dea--

More ramblings under the cut:

----- ready for some nerd things? (in broken English, sorry)

1- The yarn it's a reference to the three Moirai, who control faith and human lives. (spinning the yarn, forming the thread and cutting the thread. Birth, life and death.)

Frost carries his life around his back, keeping control. (He carries his own faith. / Also, also, also references the threat that Ariadna gifts Theseus to not get lost in the labyrinth, he's able to control his life and mind.)

2- The cup and the laurel leaves are references to the religious practice of the Oracles of Delfos.

Where the oracle drank water from the fountain of Castalian and chewed laurel to purify herself to be able to be the voice of the gods, in Frost's case to think clearly. (Clear thought.)

3- The red yarn getting cut represents Frost getting lost in his own mind, overthinking, and losing control over his life. (Also his tail, which might link to the "having the tiger by the tail" saying.)

The labyrinth, who seems logical at first it's intended to have no exit (it's mirrored), it's Frost's emotions that keep him trapped behind his own logic.

4- Torbek being covered in blood and bones represents the goat sacrifices made to the oracles for enlightenment. Scapegoat, get it?

(You would also make a case linking him with Hercules "losing his mind by a divine power" wearing a lion skin with the whole "being punished by his crimes and gaining his identity back by getting a new identity by becoming a god", but it wasn't intentional.)

All the smoke that moves and represented the party that dances around Torbek, are references to the belief of some historians that oracles sat in a tripod on top of a rock that emanated gases causing them to get high and get hallucinations. Though it's not proven.

Also, it is a very poor reference to "Vuelo de Brujas" 1797 by Goya, which lives in my head rent-free. (You would say Frost is blinded by them since he's "witched", look at me making connections.)

5- The sad cat in the pumpkin it's a reference to EP. 4 Lose your illusion from the whole scarecrow situation where Frost falls in deep sadness while carving a sad kitty face.

Scarecrow's usually symbology shadows, a version of oneself that it's usually more linked with "darkness".

By being a scarecrow, Frost considers himself a shadow of what he used to be and now Torbek is. (Well, Torbek only has the skin.)

7- The pumpkin falling it's a very "losing your head" situation.

8/9- Frost by throwing away the laurel and the cup, which would give him the ability to see the future (to be able to see the situation logically and analyze it) he's refusing to believe there are other options than his friends abandoning him. He's jumping to conclusions.

And by it, it makes him distressed. (his fur falls and grows leaves, doubt.)

This makes the phrase "leaves no room for doubt" pretty ironic.

-----

thank you for reading all that, have a cupcake. 🧁

[thelunarsystemwrites]

My second attempt.

(...this isn't a story, or a poem or made up. This actually... is real. TW for suicide attempt, depression, use of overdosing as a metaphor, and... yeah, I'm sorry.)

This happened on June 3rd, 2024.

Monday, June 3rd, 2024, sometime around 5 pm.

Was when I attempted to take my life for the second time.

I've been feeling so... uneasy, the past few days. I thought, "It must be one of my moots!" So to every moot in my list, I checked on them. I'm glad I did, I got good and bad news from each one, I got to hear different stories, I got to offer my comfort and congratulations.

...but the feeling was still there.

So I kept asking, my moots, friends, people I've never talked to too much—How are you?

It was still there, eating me from the inside out

...And, on June 3rd... something clicked.

I was kinda thinking of it for the past couple days, of doing this. I think my posts, my demeanour reflected it even before i knew.

I was talking to someone on discord. They might've thought it was a nice conversation... I was planning on taking my life while we joked around.

I think that feeling, might've been me. Might've been my gut saying "Hey, don't do this!" Might've been myself reminding me of a promise I made to my twin. My sister, my best friends, my platonic spouse, my mum, the people I care about. The family I've made here.

...but

I tried... anyways.

Because I just couldn't see any further thsn right now, the heaviness that pushed my body down, the bad thoughts I overdosed on.

And... I didn't tell anyone. That would've been my biggest regret, because I love them all so, so fucking much. They are my family.

And my other friends, moots... I would've missed immensely too.

So... I'm sorry. I'm sorry for trying something so.... stupid. I'm sorry I didn't talk to anyone, I'm sorry I've been distancing myself, I'm sorry if I worried anyone, I'm sorry.

...But the one thing, the one thing I'm not sorry about...

I'm not sorry it didn't work.

I'm glad it didn't. I'm glad I got to tell my family on here, that I love them. That they're a family to me.

I'm glad I got to tell them good morning. I'm glad I told them. I'm glad... I'm here, I think, yeah. I'm glad, grateful for the people I have in my life. Thank you.

[phoenix-void]

Tw: Vent, gender dysphoria, being overwhelmed?

Sometimes I hate being trans/nonbinary so much. I am one of the lucky few that doesn’t experience dysphoria very often, mine mostly comes in waves but during that time it can be very overwhelming. My body doesn’t feel the way it should and when I look in the mirror my face doesn’t look like myself. (I don’t know how to describe it, it just doesn’t look like how I know my face is and it scares me sometimes)

It sucks because I don’t really have anything to help it? I’m not able to get any sort of binder as I’m asthmatic and find it would be a risk to my breathing, but my mother also won’t let me get trans tape because apparently it’s a risk of cancer? (I don’t understand her reasoning for that one) so I’m basically just left to wait it out until it temporarily goes away, while also trying to keep my anxiety in check as well.

It’s just shitty at the end of day, my thoughts tend to spiral more then usual during times like this and along with my anxiety and everything else, it just gets to the point that I want to scratch my skin off because I can feel my clothes on my skin and I’m too overwhelmed to deal with anything.

[weird-arcanefangirl]

sometimes i think I’m the person my friends look at to make themselves feel prettier. I don’t blame them.

[cardcatcardboard]

Febuwhump Day 6 - Forced to Stay Awake

cw // Overstimulation, Sleep Deprivation, and Spiraling Thoughts (lmk if I missed any)

Words: 785 Fandom: Life Series Character(s): Grian and Mumbo Ao3 Version Here! @febuwhump

Based on my fic of the same concept found here!

~\/~

When Grian had initially had the idea for the snails, he hadn’t considered how disruptive they might be to people’s daily lives. Namely, the sleeping part. 

The Wild Card had appeared early on Monday morning, and by now it was well into Wednesday, meaning that every server member was running on over 48 hours of no sleep, which was no good for anyone. 

Pearl had a terrible mental breakdown combined with overstimulation and hallucination, and that was what finally made Grian shut it all down and tell everyone to head to bed, regardless of the fact that it was the middle of the day. 

However, Grian couldn’t sleep until he knew that everyone else was asleep. He knew that there would be some server members who would be convinced they were fine—cough cough Tango cough cough—, and if he didn’t go around checking everybody’s bases, he couldn’t be sure that everyone was asleep. 

So he went around once, bidding everybody a good rest. 

And then he couldn’t remember who he’d checked already, so he made another round, checking that everyone was asleep and forcing those who weren’t into bed. 

And when he was sitting on top of the Spanner’s bridges, he realized he’d once again forgotten who he’d already bid farewell to, so he went again. 

And again. 

And again. 

And again.

And again. 

And again. 

And before he knew it, he’d lost count of how many times he’d walked circles among the bases, looking through windows and doors and making sure everyone was in bed.

His mind was so fuzzy, he couldn’t even remember why it was so important that people were sleeping in the first place. 

It was the middle of the day, why would they need to be sleeping?

Was it the middle though? The sun was low. 

Was it morning?

Was the Sun setting or rising?

What day was it?

Shouldn’t they have a Wild Card today?

When was the last time he’d preened his wings? The feathers were stabbing into him and there was dirt and rocks and sweat and all manner of other things stuck between his feathers that made his skin crawl.

How long has it been?

With a slightly scared look at his communicator, Grian realized it was later than he thought. 

What time did he think it was?

Was the Sun setting or rising?

What day was it?

He looked at his communicator again. 

Wednesday.

It was Wednesday. 

When did he wake up today?

What time was it?

He couldn’t sleep yet until he knew everyone else was asleep.

Why did everyone else need to sleep?

He wanted to sleep. 

But he couldn’t sleep, not until he knew everyone else was. 

Why did they all need to be asleep?

The questions kept looping back in his head like a broken record until Grian wasn’t even sure what was happening. The colors in his vision blurred together and the dirty feeling in his wings made his skin crawl and his ears were filled with the rushing of his heart and ringing and his fingers felt like they were being stabbed with pins and needles and his clothes were disgusting and when was the last time he cleaned himself he was disgusting—

A hand on his shoulder stopped him. 

It took him way longer than he’d like to admit to process the hand on his shoulder, and then even longer to realize he was sitting on the ground with his fingers that still felt like pins and needles in his hair that was so greasy he wasn’t sure any amount of cleaning could fix it and his clothes that were so dirty he didn’t think they’d ever be clean again and—

The hand on his shoulder tightened. 

“Grian?”

It tore through the ringing and blood rushing in his ears. 

He managed to look up and saw Mumbo looking down at him, worry and weariness deep in his gaze. 

Neither said anything as Mumbo moved to hold out his hand and Grian took it, being pulled to standing. He stumbled slightly, but Mumbo got him stable, and they walked up to the tower together. 

Once they were inside, Mumbo sat Grian down on the bed and began preening his wings, pulling out loose feathers and rocks and dirt and all other manner of things that were stuck in between them.

For the first little bit, Grian was reduced to soft bird sounds, but very quickly, he was lulled into sleep, slumping sideways onto the wall until Mumbo was finished. Afterward, he carefully pulled Grian into a hug and laid the two of them down, being aware of his wings, and it wasn’t long before Mumbo was out as well. 

[dusk-the-cat]

Does anyone else feel bad when they see their f/o shipped with another character?

I kind of do, and I really hate it because it makes me feel like a chronically online degenerate.

Does anyone else have this problem? Is their any way to fix it?

[house-of-cyn]

// Vent under the cut- Tw for sick mention and overthinking

// Body doesn't wanna move. Throat's raw and hurts. Hard to focus on anything. Overthinking keeping me still. Eating feels like a hassle. Drinking does too. Hate hate hate this feeling. Feels like everyone's leaving now that I'm not as active. Know it's a lie but sticks in the back of my head like a brain leech. Gives me a headache so I try to lay down. Brain gets restless again. Repeat all day till now. Hhhh-

[wandasvamp]

i hate nonchalant and cold people. at least act a little bit excited that we are talking or something… make me feel wanted. being this way just makes me think you’re forcing yourself to talk to me.

[mad0katsuki]

Tw vent

I commonly put this kind of stuff on my vent blog but this one is making me more uncomfortable than usual.

I was reading a kind of diary and sketchbook I used on my last semester of high school that I leave without use from all the summer until now. I decide to use it again because I finished my normal sketchbook and to see some of the notes I have there.

I wouldn’t care so much if it was not this page.

Eng:

Sometimes I feel like I overreacted.

I really don’t know when something is extremely wrong or good, and make me exaggerate a lot of things that doesn’t worth.

I still thinking about [Gyllenhaal], and that ickes me.

I’m not sure if that three friends doesn’t want me anymore in their life’s, maybe I should make them letters, I don’t want to repeat that again.

[Ginny]… I think I annoy her, I feel that I burden her more than help her, that make me a bad friend, or not? Idk

Sometimes I want to go away from everything and everyone, sleep, sleep, sleep, I want to sleep.

One day of this one’s I will sleep good.

I don’t know if I was totally aware of how I was going to end, because I remember I wrote that meanwhile I was having a breakdown in the school.

I just think I fucked up, anyways, the reason why am I alone it’s because all my fucking person goes around and how fucked up I am…

All my art, all my hobbies, all my decisions… everything. That just creeps people and makes me end on that cycle forever. Even my family is tired of me, she told me that.

On the other hand, I feel good for them. That doesn’t mean I don’t feel a total hate and rage against them, but at least I think they’re really smart leaving me.

And Ginny was right, I’m just a bitch who only talks about their problems. (She never told me that, but from another person I knew she stop talking to me because of that)

[1h4v3th3m00n]

Why the fuck am I so sensitive can't I just not overthink like it's so fucking painful to overthink it literally tears me apart

[foxyxss]

I wish my brain would just shut up for once.

[imaginesforallkindoflove]

help : )

[weird-arcanefangirl]

Me everyday,24/7

“What if they don’t like me?”

“they think I’m annoying, I should just shut up”

“I don’t wanna say hello right now, I think I’ll annoy them”

“Something just happened to my dad, I know it. I have to text him to make sure he’s not dead”

“My mom is gonna die every second now, I just know it. Hug her because it might be the last one.”

“Say goodbye to your pets they might die today.”

Probs should get therapy for that-