#tw oversharing

[mercseven7]

probably tmi and oversharing

on a scale of one to ten how freaked do yall think they would be if i started jorking on call. cus i had plans and i dont wanna seem like a disgusting little rat to just proceed tw

[admiringtheskies]

me:

*is prescribed stimulants and SSRIs to treat the Not Enough Motivation To Do Literally Anything I Need To Do In Order To Be A Productive Member Of Society/My Family Disorder + Chronically Convinced That I'm A Terrible/Unworthy/Useless/Hopeless Irredeemably Lazy Person Disorder, respectively*

*has a brain which semi-regularly (aka almost predictably) experiences Extra 10% Shittiness Episodes, which have 50-50 odds of successfully convincing me that i either Physically Cannot (hellooooo, exec dys) or just straight-up don't deserve to take my prescribed meds*

*is fully AWARE that i have a brain which semi-regularly experiences Extra 10% Shittiness Episodes which like convincing me that i either Physically Cannot or don't deserve to take my prescribed meds — somehow still ends up jamming the big red self-destruct button quarterly anyways*

also me:

*finally manages to break the current Apathetic Not-Quite-Dissociation Doom Spiral (name trademark pending) in sheer panic over the 2000-word final paper for my summer course — which i of course have just been watching the missing assignment 0s pile up in for over the past two weeks... because, again, Doom Spiral — which i damn well know i cannot possibly actually finish in the constantly-decreasing remaining timeframe by this point,,, but whatever, stupid fucking brain is finally ready to let me take the fuckin meds now i guess*

...

...

...

"so for some reason i'm actually feeling noticeably less shitty about myself,,, and i managed to get like 3 or 4 out of those 10 or so tasks on my urgent to-do list done in a workday,,,, the same urgent to-do list that seemed absolutely impossibly actually-making-me-want-to-just-curl-up-on-my-bed-and-cry insurmountable like... yesterday? i wonder what possibly could have allowed this to happen— "

[foxyxss]

I wish my brain would just shut up for once.

[lostlegendaerie]

Last 14 hours at home before I leave for the con, still with stuff to do and WHAM. IBS episode.

please send me thoughts and prayers that whatever I ate that triggered this gets yeeted out my rectum fast enough that I can still get all this sewing done

[dumblemonchickenwing]

oc, tw xenophobia mention

My parents could sort of understand Chinese people and North Korean people but struggle to understand South Koreans. I dont know how it may characterize my family language... (I dont speak it)

I have a funny story to share. When my mother talked to some lady and said she's korean, the lady said "But it cant be! Because Koreans are pretty" . I dont know why she said that but I assume its because people tend to imagine them as Kpop Dorama actors. I know its supposed to be offensive, but, in a way, I find it funny.

I dont know why but I feel that me beiing upset at all this is a bit hypocritical, because when I was a child and highschooler I didnt feel offended, even when a boy in class said that people of different ethnicity should be in reservations isolated from russians.

I really hope this is just a phase of mine where I traumadump too much info im not supposed to share, and I will come back to fandom things as i had done in past.

[biblicallyaccurategoddess]

I am the ultimate proof that god doesnt exist bc i just found out that my extremely religious and bigot mom secretly sprays holy water in my room and if it was actually working i wouldve already burst into flames

[fishybehavior]

Hey I'm going to ask a question of whether I'm crazy or not ok?

So a few days ago I had an intrusive thought at work. And I dont know if I said it aloud. I'm not going to state my intrusive thought, but what it was was bad and illegal.

My brain has been going in circles and panicking that one of my coworkers heard me. And I've been terrified im going to loose my job, everyone hates me, and that maybe I'll go to jail.

But no one is really acting different. It's been four days and no one has said anything to me. Not managers or shift leaders or my boss. My coworkers I think have been treating me normally (as far as I can tell)

But my brain is picking up on things that could be them hating me or disliking me. But they aren't big things but my brain is telling me they are faking. Lying to me.

I realize logically that this doesn't make sense but I can't stop thinking this. And the stress almost sent me into a full panic today. I feel like I'm just waiting for my life to fall apart.

I know Im crazy, I go into work feeling ok but by the first hour my brain is consumed with this fear. How do I deal with this??

[r0sevent]

I fucking hate being hypersexual

I remember when I was a horny teen and being normal and restricted about how horny I was. Then when I became and adult or some shit my floodgates must’ve burst. I draw porn, I make smut, I masturbate weekly, and I just wish it didn’t make me feel so dirty.

I wish I could be fucking pure and normal, that I’m not a fucking proship loon with a nymphette kink. I fucking wish I could not be so overly obsessed with the game grumps the way I am. I’m a sick fucking fuck, so fucking horny all the time, I’m a ducking danger cause all I am is horny. I can’t even fucking control it I don’t know what happened?????

[crayonsandclovers]

Im so sad I want to vomit. Someone please have mercy on me

[lukarsio]

Vent post. I’ll be posting the usual stuff again soon. Long rant under the cut/read more.

I hate when people say that autism or any disorder is a “superpower”, bc it’s not. Being sensitive to noise and getting so overstimulated to the point of having a break down isn’t a “superpower.”

I hate that this world is so unaccommodating for people like me. I have to mask to be liked. I have to put in the work for neurotypical people to be comfortable. I have to force myself to make eye contact. But not too much is bad and too little is also bad. There’s strict rules and standards but they’re always so vague. What’s too much? What’s not enough? I already have my own issues. I don’t have the energy to be masking all the time. But if I don’t I’m “weird” or “rude.”

People also tend to ignore my boundaries or assume I’m ok with things without asking. Like physical contact. So many times people have gotten upset at me bc I don’t like physical contact, or bc I move away bc people are too close. “yOu doNt haVe tO moVe THAT muCh. jEezE.” Or “iTs juSt a hUg, cMon.” Why can’t I have my needs met? Why can’t I have my boundaries respected? Why do I alway have to appease others when they won’t think about how I feel?

Anyway this is getting long. I wanted to talk about how when I shutdown I get very angry about anything and everything. I’m overstimulated and want to have some level of control. Listening to music can help me regain control and calm down. Give It To Me by The Northern Boys is one of my favourite songs and it helps me feel better some how.

[garby-gremlin-boi]

Me: trauma dumping and oversharing is unhealthy

Also me: * telling everyone I knowy mom has cancer because I don't know what else to think about*

[i-dont-alwaysmile]

I did something that I'm completely ashamed of. I'm lucky that no one was there to witness it, but it could've happen. And I've been facing a lot of guilt and shame because of it.

Because I didn't feel like I had control over my own actions. I'm taking steps to make sure it'll never happen again, and I've been determined to change.

And idk if what I did is as bad as I feel, but it wasn't good, and I NEVER want to do it again.

I just need to say something somewhere cause I have no one to talk to. I'm scared I'll lose people in my life if I do

[dumblemonchickenwing]

vent art, trigger warning.

[mysticalstreamsalutations]

I am sorry things feel so dark right now. I hope you will be able to find small sparks of joy in life again soon.

Thank you, anon. I feel like an angry, brooding teen, (or something along those lines), being so gloom and doom lately. I truly do have much to be thankful for, but I seem to make things so much harder for myself (and others) than need be.

I thank you again for your kind note, I hope you are doing okay yourself, anon… : ’)

Two facts I have had to learn, and relearn a few times now - that just so happen to be well known quotes (I’ve always been quite obsessed with quotes and truisms) : are as follows:

1. “If you don't make time for your wellness, you will be forced to make time for your illness.” — Joyce Sunada

2. “Change happens when the pain of staying the same is greater than the pain of change.” — Tony Robbins

simple, yet to the point, and in my mind, undeniably true.

Also, I haven’t had a therapist for months now (as mine quit working for the co. Wellnite, which I was seeing them through), and I decided the virtual thing just isn’t for me. but. i am seeing a therapist today, so I feel hope. He has been my psychiatrist for close to 3 years now, but I wasn’t made aware that he also does psychotherapy, until recently. I am also extremely lucky to have immense love, and support from my wonderful partner, (I’m also a “stepmom” to an adorable, sassy longhaired chihuahua, and the sweetest, zoomiest, emerald-eyed black cat that I’ve ever met.) as well as some of my family, + best friend. 🤍

[fishybehavior]

I am so jealous and angry rn, and I have no good reason to be

[cubbihue]

Does Mr. Turner like rubbing his “son’s” successful career in Dinkleberg’s face??

He does! He brags about Timmy's success to every person within the neighborhood's vicinity. Mr. Turner loves how successful his son is! It really secures his reputation at the neighborhood HOA meetings they host at their house.

Timmy's worked very hard to gain more successes than failures. The more successful he is, the greater his family's social standing!! And the less he gets to overhear his dad ranting to the neighborhood about his failures.

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