#tw health stuff

[raustenacious]

God it's not like I didn't know it was coming,

So a few months back mum was at the doc and he wrote lipedema in her chart so she started researching it a lot and shit. And she got formally diagnosed with it maybe in February? And we'd started to suspect I have it too cus of some changes and the way I experience some pain and some other symptoms. And then I finally got to see the doctor yesterday and he said I do have it but it's only stage one so really all I can do is try to stop it from going further and I'm insulin resistant so I could get type 2 diabetes later on and other health shit and it's kinda rough cus it was also in my side which I didn't think it was at all (hadnt considered it) and it's a lot to have it confirmed

[sleeplesslark]

Health stuff

My left index finger has been hurting and stiff for a few days on end after some minimal typing. Really hoping I don't eventually lose the ability to type at all.

I think it's carpal tunnel cuz I can feel it up my arm and the back of my palm feels like static sometimes. I don't know how to fix it. Doctor said rest the hand but resting just seems to make it worse when I go back to type anything. I'm using an ergonomic keyboard now too.

It might also be over use. With so many keys missing kff the computers keyboard I probably typed too hard a lot.

Is this just going to fade over time? I dont know why the pain isnt going away after like, two days of no typing. Am I fucked? Is my ability to type on a timer now? The doctor wasn't helpful and thus is probably nothing but I'm really nervous it is. I don't want to have to stop writing.

[celenawrites]

not me getting sick and then getting another nosebleed

[tofumarinado]

it's so funny to me when i see pearl-clutching articles about how "teenagers are diagnosing themselves with mental disorders via tiktok" because like. this is not happening in a vacuum. teenagers are severely and i mean severely medically neglected. i cannot stress this enough. teenagers do not have free access to medical care. those same news outlets would be clowning on women with housewife psychosis in the 1950's.

i sometimes go pale when listening to some of what my friends have gone through in their childhoods and teenagehoods. they talk about it so nonchalantly, things that would be considered straight up torture if done to an adult, can't fathom the effect this has on children. they are on multiple anti-psychotics and several antidepressants and anxiety meds now that they are adults. medical neglect has legally and effectively disabled them. a timely diagnosis and intervention could have saved them. of course teenagers are self-diagnosing using tiktok. if your knee-jerk reaction is to scoff at the idea and dismiss it as dumb teenager shit instead of being radicalized because the best shot young people have at attaining the mental health support they need is a fucking dancing videos app, you're categorically a political enemy of the youth.

[emotionaleating]

pls don’t flirt with me i want to be nonchalant so bad but i unfortunately crave connection so intensely that i will give you my entire soul and forgive you over and over until i’ve lost myself completely and feel like i’m drowning

[iwillnotseeheaven]

[saduboiss]

my soul is too sensitive for this life.

[angered-box]

yippeee love trying to take my medication and drinking the water a little too quickly that it caused a really bad pain in my chest, causing me to feel really really heavy and as I was going to mention it to my step-dad my hearing became muffled as I was speaking and then I fainted, fun times!

[endlessmidnights]

I hate when people say suicide is the easy way out, they have no idea the pain you must be in to want to end your own life

[devotionbled]

Tw for medical and pregnancy stuff. I’m still going through it and it’s making my focus for writing hard. And I found out some pretty funky news tonight. I know I shouldn’t have to explain myself but… I just want to vent.

I’ve been bleeding heavily for a good two weeks. Had another ultrasound tonight, one I was asking for. They saw the second twin when they said to me WEEKS ago it was clearly a singleton pregnancy. Second baby was hiding. They’re both dying. I’m being induced on Friday which is too late if you ask me. I’ve been working through the pain when I shouldn’t have. I’ve been going to hospital at night and between work, begging for help. I was turned away each time.

It’s impressive how… one person can go through a lot and you never know. My clients wouldn’t have known any different. Between all of this, I’ve been working my two jobs, trying to be a parent, despite how much it killed me.

I feel so weak and I’ve been trying so hard to stay strong. My partner has been in a terrible position trying to care for me. It’s hard to do that when you’re still grieving the situation that is exactly the same, that happened in April.

I am tired. He’s tired. My body is just shattered. I may be into my 20’s, but my body still is suffering from my first pregnancy that I had when I was 15. That’s why I’m having difficulties, now, I think.

I’m really not well. So I am going to take my time with things.

[idnwtdta]

I literally feel dead in a living body

[celenawrites]

might not attend classes cuz I'm actually in a lot of pain rn.

[3m0g1rlyyy]

Sometimes i look at my $elfharm scars and think “Damn it wasn’t even that deep”

[emotionaleating]

[themindofmine]

I feel like I’m already dead but I have to keep on living

[rotting-bitch]

try to be gentle while tearing me apart