#trying to decide why im here
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Returning to tumblr after eight years and realising that everyone else you knew has also been gone a while is strange.
Obviously there's a melancholy, and an unfamiliarity, and a kind of metanarrative shift you didn't see happen.
Only thing I can liken it to is graduating from high school and returning years later. They've redecorated and built a new wing. Some of the staff are still there. Some people are dead. Actually really in real life dead.
And it still smells the same.
#oldhead#millennials#I was last here in 2016#reblogged a fish of good luck post WHICH DEFINITELY DID NOT WORK CONSIDERING WHAT HAPPENED TWO DAYS LATER#trying to decide why im here#on tumblr and in general i mean lol
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Happy Anniversary In Stars and Time!! Have some Friend Quest based drawings :D
(These have specific quote picks related to them! And there's also a long ramble on why I like those specific quotes below if interested)
(And by long, I mean roughly 2k+ words of proper ramble total, so be warned before clicking keep reading this link right here to the rb!!)
#in stars and time#isat#isat spoilers#<- edited now this is just act 3 spoilers for the art LMAO#isat mirabelle#isat isabeau#isat odile#isat bonnie#isat siffrin#<- i promise this is the last time in a long long time i tag someone who only shows up with their back turned#but in my defense they also are here four times so i think the tag is justified SADASFA#time for a messier secondary post underneath the first WAHOOOO#to start!! random art tidbits!! no one is looking at siffrin in these!!#mira and isa are looking away while odile and bonnie have their eyes closed#in my minds eye these are the A4 versions of the FQ so siffrin internally is Not Having A Good Time#i just thought itd be fun to incorporate somehow as an extra easter egg detail kinda!#also i tried to make the bgs mildly accurate to location in game and its the reason why isa got to have one (1) singular tree in the bg#laaast art tidbit is that i took a bit of a creative liberty with bonnies#well i did with all of them but still#since its not explicitly stated sif god up immediately after tripping they get to stay on the floor in the drawing#i just thought itd be fun for the drawing!!#moving onto general tidbits in addition to the time fun fact i also decided the posting time#specifically so itd be in the middle of me having back to back to back meetings so can't second guess myself in posting this HAHA#every time i post any form of text based ramble on characters or even headcanons i Fear#and YEAH i am probably just being overly nitpicky towards myself on analysis that can prob be read several diff ways cuz interpretation#but i really really really dont want to fumble so badly to the point of mischaracterizing anyone since i like them a lot!!#still working on getting over that but hey at least i am trying and thats all i can ask of myself i think!#okay now time to Lie Down im writing these tags after stream#tag talk over into q u go :]#partial pin
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my personal atsv hobie brown hc is that this boy can build a watch that enables the wearer to travel to any dimension they want to, made entirely out of cobbled up parts he "finds"
but anytime anyone brings up AI or algorithms or social media he pretends to be 100 years old
hobie: what's a bloody "snapchat"? fuckin 'ell those effects are nightmarish, mate
miles, exasperated: hobie, you BUILD TECH that astrophysicists in my dimension can't even replicate. how are filters on a phone trippin you up?
hobie: dunno, everyone's got their strengths n weaknesses, i 'spose... 🙄😒
#mine#hobie brown#i need to start tagging my shit appropriately man i need to organize my posts OUCH#my blog is lookin a damn mess#anyways yeah hope this resonates with someone out there#imo i dont think hobie doesnt GET ai and algorithms#im p sure he can rip apart and put together an entire computer AND code software on it to perfection#but its the principle of the thing!!#algorithms that decide what to show you based on previous activity…?#NOT hobie brown approved at all 👎#why have computers do the thinking for you when youre trying to find ENTERTAINMENT? doesnt make a lick of sense#and so here we are#he refuses to even deal with soc media#fuck that noise#the second he learned about ring cameras he hit the damn ceiling 💀#spiderverse
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I've sort of developed a strange relationship with the concept of "realism" in the things I make.
Something I was very into as like, an eleven year old (im not implying this was immature to be into, just that it was formative for me), was speculative biology specifically for dragons, and now, specifically in the case of dragons I find a lot of attempts to make them biologically plausible fully missing the appeal of dragons at all.
Thinking specifically about the supernatural elements of JoM and where the line is drawn. The dagnyds are made from the remains of godlike entities, and are not entirely earthly animals. They have a supernatural origin. It would be fully justified in giving them magic abilities or making magic an aspect of the setting, but have absolutely zero interest in doing so. It doesn't interest me. I think about shit like healing powers or glowy energy attacks and my reaction is just "what does this even add? Why do I need this? Does this make things more interesting?" And it simply doesn't. Healing is more interesting as a prolonged process, combat is more interesting with teeth and claws and metal and blood. These are options which are more realistic, closer to real life, but the realism isn't what makes them interesting: it's physicality.
When I design a creature for this world, I am not thinking about making it biologically plausible, and yet, I try to design things which look like they could 'move under their own power'. There is a sense of heft and mechanical "soundness" which I value more than realism, but often also aligns with looking 'realistic'.
I would say that it's better to serve a narrative than strive for absolute realism, but I don't actually write stories, although I do have ideas for them occasionally. I guess a version of this which is more relevant and applicable is that i prefer to strive for a particular vibe.
#extremely aimless post#what does this make me#a moderate? a centrist? god forbid#also does anyone else have the thing where they try and italicize a word and it works for a little bit and then decides actually you wanted#to italicize this whole paragraph right?#also grammar correct seems only there to try and obliterate the cadance of my sentences#anyways im not here for soft or hard scifi/fantasy/whatever make it al dente#With Teeth! ahaha#also part of why im sort of struggling with making my stuff into a game is i dont like the inherent abstraction of gameified mechanics#i also realized that i am fond of something like an RPG but find a lot of RPG mechanics sort of fluffy and superfluous. like was thinking#like i was thinking about a combat system and realized i dont actually care about this or think it's necessary? like constant pointless#small battles#in my setting which DOES have a magic system magic in that world is understood as like. a branch of science#on account of it being an observible tangible manipulatable aspect of the natural world its like lumped in with physical sciences instead of#arbitrarily being considered apart#ive also never been able to make somethething thats like fully a hard science fiction thing because the only science i care about is like.#biology
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You have made me interested in balloon smp but I feel so old and of touch because I cannot find the past streams on twitch. Cannot figure out where and in which order to watch...can I ask where you've been watching the videos/streams?
ok, so, there’s ~36 people all doing it concurrently, which is a lot. But! Here is the list of players, if you know someone you like on that list pick them and just watch sequentially day 1->finale. if you don’t know Anyone on there and you want a point to start at for just. Getting most of the plot, pick someone from A B or C. Or E. Team F has a really great plot but they stay a bit out of the overarching plot until the last weeks, and I haven’t gotten to team D yet so I don’t know what they know im sorry team d 🥺
Many of the players have VOD channels up on YouTube or playlists of balloon vods specifically, lots of people who don’t have the streams in their twitch archives somewhere (like, “past broadcasts” usually), look for player vod channels. Some don’t have saved archives and some didn’t stream it! I know for certain sophie robby skull kuu gibson buggle and jame have up to date vod channels because I’ve seen them… woops and skullvolver are making edited videos rn but theyre Both team a… and im not sure who else is planning on it!
tldr, pick someone and watch them in order and peek in on other peoples’ vods from time to time when something Happens because sometimes seeing it from another angle is cool. Also, sometimes seeing it from another angle is Important because there’s Lore no one else got to see. Search “playername vods” on YouTube and it should direct you to the right place.
more specifics that kinda get into spoilers:
Here’s some plots of interest that certain people see and others don’t (ONLY BASED ON WHAT I KNOW I am not a lore master I don’t have 36x8x32… uh… good gravy 576 possible hours. of content. I DONT HAVE 576 HOURS TO SIT AND WATCH STREAMS someone was going to put together a lore doc somewhere though):
woops: tries to keep track of lore, goes on ghost knight swordquest
sophiebaybey: unwitting accessory to world murder, sees WAY more of PG and balloons lore than most people on account of The Events.
skullvolver/socksbx: revenant revengequest x2 and soul link plot, also socks is a mod and they get up to some funny business. poke in and watch one of them for the end of day 14 trust me 🫵
robbydude: doomer gnome made me cry but that’s not important. ghostquest continues upon the holy land even if we DONT WANT IT TO. jerry mouse is there
jame7t: sees kind of all of it from a distance, good coverage, citadel time (I like building streams)
shinigamieater: it’s possession clues. What if you were 15 ants of dubious morality in a human body
padabana: instigates the end of the world, once if you’re realistic twice if you’re being pedantic. it’s paranoia clues
kaoiji: there’s time travel, and it gets worse from there but I can’t FIND their vods so im redirecting you to robbydude
renobee: GOD??????????
#blsmp#uh if anyone has plots of interest to add I am also interested so you can put those in here#ask#ALSO I WILL come back and say two things number one.#this is tuoys. they’re playing soap opera. it gets pretty dramatic and intense but if they actually fought we wouldnt know about it#so if you’re a bit sensitive to arguing maybe relax and step back. those are friends on the internet playing characters don’t be weird#One and a half it ALSO gets pretty silly which is why I keep coming back it’s very silly#two this is all improv with Some direction by the mod team SO IF YOU WANT TO APPRECIATE THE MOD TEAM…#THEY HAVE A KOFI… STILL UP……….#to support the devs they made So many custom events and models and sounds it’s cool#https://ko-fi.com/balloonsmp … coughs…#anyways. Anon; I would never say my way of doing it was best but here’s what I did:#woops from day 1->end. robbydude day 1->end. Wildly skip around buggle jame kuu gibson skull socks yoda and ausk#wildly skip back and forth between sophie and Holly because I got end of evangelion’d at the end of gibsons stream and went HEYYYYYY#hooray! Discovery! It’s like digging for clues in here. enrichment for fisher#you don’t get the full story with One perspective and it’s cool!#uhhhmmm im trying to decide who’s best to watch for the finale but. I don’t know. Gibson’s my favorite so far for finale vibes#sorry for yapping it’s early and I have been putting off packing my suitcase for 4 hours. Ehe#I would also say that in the beginning no one contacts each others teams so disparate things happen#but by the end they’re all working together so a lot of things repeat if you watch multiple perspectives
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ACT I : First meeting (temporary truce) zombie apocalypse AU with my friends : )
#shen talk#digital art#zombie apocalypse au#on the left is a guy named Scotty and right beside him my bestie Tellars <3#and welp. on the right is me xD#decided to post it here too bc why not? i love this art so yep#my artblock is kinda still here but im trying my best
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Happy Halloween 🎃
#pearl#pumpkins#cat mama hours#happy halloween#please enjoy the ghostlike bag of pebbles in the background#we're trying to enjoy the sunshine#as it is cold and windy here#also yes she tried to bite the stem and quickly decided to not do that again#which is why she got her own little real pumpkin this year bc she's a smart bby#also we don't do costumes bc she doesn't like them and i promised her a few years ago we wouldn't do them again#besides she is a slightly spooky cute little pumpkin every day already and im not dressing up either sooooo meh#anyway#hope everyone has a nice time however you might celebrate today
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Rice. From my plot that's literally just a game of chess. (he's a rook)
#my characters#CHESS BABIES#they actually had a tag here and i adore it bc it was in caps lock for a while#no idea why it was in caps but whatever it was thems the rules#rice has a younger sister named turnip and shes a pawn and then his coworker rook is a guy named cakes#and cakes has a huuuuuuge crush on him and doesnt think to hide it so rice just kinda puts up with it and then somehow#they meet with one of the white knights and are like well he seems mostly harmless#and since they dont attack or try to kill him he decides hes actually in love with rice as well so cakes is like oh no#im going to lose my years long crush to some foreign guy#but the white knight is just vibing cause out of the entire white army he has the least stake in it bc he was born in the land of red#so he doesnt really care but since one of his parents was a white native he got recruited kinda#look it sounds so bad to have colored nations and them being white black and red#but its chess i swear and my dad had a REALLY FUCKING NICE wooden chess set when i was a kid#and it was AMAZING AND BEAUTIFUL and each piece had red felt on the bottom to about scuffing the pretty wood board#anyway thats where the neutral land idea came from - all of his pieces had SOME red on them#and now i gotta go to work for more video orientation#guys theres been so many videos in the past two days#i have no energy for art#i have so many things i wanna draw but i havent managed to actually do anything yet#i need a fuckin schedule.....
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mtdd week day 1 - sworn partners
can you tell i like drawing fluff
#mtddweek2023#hi yeah it’s metadede week!! it’s like a whole week of cringe day wednesday!!#which is why i decided i want to have fun with this and indulge a little#not like i dont already but lol#so there’s a lot of fluff a lot of comfort and a handful of kisses#my ship posts are usually accompanied by self deprecating comments but im gonna try to keep it to a minimum#i go into a lot of projects with some level of ambiguity in mind and while i love keeping things more open to interpretation#i also love romance so im taking this as an opportunity to lean into that more#special occasion ya know#and maybe ill do it more in future we’ll see#either way i drew a lot for this week and i had a lot of fun with it#so thank you for being here i hope you find something you like#kirbyposting#my art or something#meta knight#king dedede#metadede#kirby#bandee#metadededads#also i guess wedding rings are usually worn on the left hand but i am terrible at left and right so bear with me#i just reaaaaally like drawing my blorbos being happy and loved
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me, attempting to go to bed:
my brain: heyyyyy guess what
me: what. i'm trying to sleep.
brain: omegaverse setting where he/him and she/her are only used before people know someone's designation
me: ?
brain: see, people have mentioned all males with he/him and females with she/her, yeah?and there are posts with alphas set as he/him, implying omegas get she/her
brain: which is weird because what about betas? and female alphas? and male omegas? are the pronouns there for gender or sex
brain: but what if... being an adult means having neopronouns instead
brain: people in media? someone far away? formal distance? strangers? they/them
brain: kids? he/him or she/her
brain: adults you know personally? on a first name basis? people you'd recognize? you use their pronouns like you'd use their chosen name
me:
brain:
me: ...what setting is this for?
brain: iunno ☺️
me: nope. not falling for it. not opening notes at 1am. gonna go sleep.
#omegaverse worldbuilding#omegaverse headcanons#omegaverse#sfw omegaverse#twovvie chatters#is this really worldbuilding if it invaded my thoughts while i was staring at the ceiling trying to decide if i wanna sleep to music or not?#brain it is late pls shhhh#brain: why did you write it on here if you dont wanna open notes#because im not gonna read my notes enough to put it in atm#sheesh
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Lol
#theres nothing quite like your mother saying Well maybe you shouldve been more careful because now your boss might think youve been flirting#with this male coworker (whom i like splendidly as a friend) and now maybe she thinks youre not trustworthy#and maybe she regrets hiring you because you said you feel like youre making a lot of mistakes this week and she might assume thats because#your head is filled with this boy.#so dont make her regret hiring you.#MA'AM I TOLD YOU I WAS ALREADY ANXIOUS BECAUSE I MADE SO MANY MISTAKES TODAY WHY ARE YOU MAKING ME ASHAMED#OF SOMETHING THAT I HONESTLY HAD NO CLUE I OUGHT TO BE ANXIOUS ABOUT AT MY FIRST NEW JOB AFTER IVE GRADUATED????#anyway going to bed i cant take this anymore LOL she said it so lightly and im like. well i never even considered#being afraid of making my boss regret hiring me somehow because of some kind of behaviour that i had no idea was sending some kind of signal#anywaysssss 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭#and then she was like why are you crying?? 💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀#not to be like this is partly why i didnt want to move home but confound it all why are things like this#can i not simply confide in my mother my anxieties and worriws#worries#and not also have to worry about her potentially being like Well have you considered you ARE right and it IS your fault?#idk man something something firstborn child eldest daughter can i have some room to breathe. please#also not to whine but Not my father walking in on me eating dinner at 10pm because i was holed up#in my room in a semi depressive state after so many gong shows in a work day and straight up having no appetite#but deciding my body needs the food anyway its better late than never.....walking in and then saying#you know if you eat this late you'll gain weight. SIR??????????????????#sorry to complain and rant again i simply cannot in this house and whats more am doing my best to honour my parents#but why is it so hard out here and how can they say stuff like that with a smile!!!!!!!#also i DO have an inner critic who is always like Its your fault you are the worst you should be ashamed always........why do my parents#not understand after knowing me for so long and watching me grow up#that i can make myself so ashamed of the smallest thing so easily and that what they say drives me to shame almost as easily?#ANYWAY LOL WHAT A DAY#you guys!!! i am working so hard i promise i PROMISE I am!!! it is my first full time job ever and i am working so so hard#i am doing my absolute best and no one sees it and that is FINE i just wish my parents would see that i AM trying!!#i come back home so dead every single day because i put in 120%! this is literally my first job after graduation#and my parents KNOW this has been the most exhausting taxing and soul crushing year ive had in my very short life so far
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SUPER DARK TIMES [THE FROST — MITSKI]
this movie's had my brain in a vice grip all week
#super dark times#sdt#josh templeton#zach taylor#daryl and charlie are also there but this aint about them#well it is about daryl. it’s *all* about daryl at the end of the day. but ykwim#im simply a sucker for stories about best friends where everything gets sosososo fucked up 🤷♂️#sam draws shit#sam edits#<- yeah it gets both tags i opened after effects for this#this movie fell into tht sweet spot for me where it was the right combo of compelling characters who felt Real with great visuals but also#with enough moments i was like ‘what. why?’ about that it keeps me thinking trying to decide how i feel about/interpret elements of it#like. i enjoyed it but it's flawed in the exact ways a piece of media needs to be for it to rotate around in my brain for a while#also i truly did NOT have the time to draw this i have so much other shit to get done but i couldn’t focus until#i got this idea out of my head so. here we are
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it will never fail to annoy me when I see writers trying desperately to control how their work is viewed and refuse to give any creativity to the fandom
#this is about arcane lmao#like igaf about what the creator says the characters sexualities are#if they cared that much they should've stressed it in their work#then you have ppl like nora who are like#'ya sure jean and Jeremy are together here is a 3 book series on it'#and when she disagrees with a fan theory she doesn't try to control our perception#she'll usually say its for us to decide#and full offense but if my straight family sees jayvik and immediately says they're gay#thats on the writer lmao#if you wanted them to be more brotherly you should've written them more brotherly#and then going 'theyre ace!' as a cop out#as if gay asexuals aren't here#like im ace and yall can jump using our identity to say why the characters shouldn't be together#do yall really think us ace folks dont want partners?#ntm it feels like theyre saying 'meh we gave you caitvi why do you want more?'#like idk maybe bc you were the one who attracted a queer audience by having queer relationships#also last thought lol#but gay ships are almost never canon#so especially fuck off trying to tell ppl that characters arent queer#urdtarah complains
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trying to psych myself up to finally do oc refs by doing fandom-related refs instead: volume 1
wanted to update my yuma from whatever tf this au is so he was a bit more unique... takes inspo from a lot of different things while also trying to be its own sorta thing? which is fitting given the au ;)
bonus chibi now that i'm also figuring out how tf to do chibis lol:
#my art lol#synth v yuma#yuma synthv#synth v#synthv fanart#synthesizer v#vocaloid#vocaloid fanart#YES I KNOW ITS DIFFERENT but at this rate its the umbrella tag. all vsynth shit goes under there just like on main 😔#sorry for the annoyign watermarks i just dont want this to get stolennn/traced it'll b my joker arc. is2g#like thats never happened to me before as far as i know but now that my art is getting 'better' i begin to get scared that it will happen#if my fanart got stolen i'd def sting a little yeah but not hurt AS bad as if someone stole my original shit. THAT would hurt#one of many reasons why i post less personal oc stuffs. although as mentioned above i AM in an oc mood so i wanna draw em maybe...#and stuff like this is a step to develop a PROPER FUCKING REF STYLE bc i SUCKKKK AT MAKING REFS LOL 😭 BUT I SHOULD GIT GUD#i have a few other refs planned for vocaloid au (i guess???) related shit but they're not done yet. this one was also a wip that i just??#impulsively decided to redo & finish bc i wanted to draw but nothing else i was trying to draw came out right. advantages of many wips#i have SOOO many things i could say abt some of the things that went into this redesign but i dont wanna come off as pretentious 😔💔#obviously it was primarily inspired by the vimalion yuma design but. there's moreeee that i can't explain here bc tag limits and im shy#i do think i want to try and be more intentional with my character designs now so i'm seeing how that goes as i redesign some old ocs#man though this kind of stuff makes me remember i used to LOVEE doing this stuff. and now its even crazierr given art improvement#uaurhghh my head is buzzing w/. so many thoughts. THIS ALWAYS FUCKING HAPPENS I GET SO MANY IDEAS WHEN IM BUSY GFD#this is actually from today though unlike some other things i might eventually post. that'll make more sense soon#and fuckkk i forgot the chain necklace thing on the chibi yeah but i couldnt get it to look good. whatever
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When you make a post on fetlife asking why people take things so seriously over there and in response people take that post way too seriously 👁👄👁
#why the hell are you analysing every little thing i write like that?#its not the deep!#i dont need paragraphs of explanation!#also someone decided to make it about gender which what the fuck but also just assumed im a cis woman and like dont do that?#it seems to be none follower that see one post from me and come in trying to mansplain to me why ive posted something#like my dude just laugh or relate or leave#i just post whatever pops into my head 😭#you lot here seem to actually get the humour thank god
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Honestly your tags are so fun to read every time, i'm almost more excited for them than the actual post (but not entirely because your art is SO GOOD!!!! i adore it). If you don't mind me asking, what are you studying?
i am studying psychology because i refuse to see a therapist so ill figure out whats wrong with me myself !!!!!!!
#snap chats#WITH. a minor in human resources ☝️ because im evil or something#and whatever character/s i decide to fixate on for the next three years i will also psychoanalyze them I Guess. //loud coughing//#tbh i only saw a therapist to get medicine but since bloodwork is expensive without insurance i dont even do that anymore. sad !#but yeah im a certified rambler if i dont share every thought i have so people understand me as much as i want them to ill die#which is why charles xavier if youre out there you have full rights to my brain .......... //gross wink sound//#why cant telepaths be real itd make my life so much easier. i woudnt have to talk a mile a minute anymore#because i do talk very fast because growing up my mom would cut me off a lot#so now i talk fast in fear of being cut off without all my thoughts being heard. anyways.#thank you for also enjoying my art :] a sideshow to the glory that is my tags i KNOWWW but im glad my efforts are not unnoticed 😌#back to My Major tho when i was in middle school i thought i wanted to go into comic books#but then i thought id lose my love for drawing if i did it professionally so now i do it. semi professionally#on my own terms babyyyy thats right. and if im lucky i get paid to draw my faves im living the dream babes#thats why my text posts take nine years for me to type im legitimately sitting here thinking if i said everything i wanted#and if i worded it right but even then after it's up im like 'but did i word it right tho' but its like 'bro just fucking POST IT'#'ITS NOT THAT DEEP' its as my favorite professor once told me 'youre very paranoid' and he's right !!!! im very paranoid 🥰#ok im done now. see thats why i say Ok Im Done Now its a sign im forcing myself to shut UP#wait not done Almost but not quite i was rewatching 97 to Try to get caps of charles in his combat uniform#and i fear i still cackle at erik telling charles to shut up like PLEAAASSE...... i need that bit CLIPPED#it makes me giggle ... someone remind me to clip all of erik's cameos in the squirrelgirl podcast btw#ive been meaning to do that for weeks but. oops <3 i need all my grandpa's moments CATALOGUED and AT THE READY..#ok i done fr now i have class with my you're-paranoid professor in like an hour and i wanna get some work done before then#BYYYYYEEEE. FOR LIKE TWENTY MINUTES PROBABLY IDK
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