#look it sounds so bad to have colored nations and them being white black and red
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Rice. From my plot that's literally just a game of chess. (he's a rook)
#my characters#CHESS BABIES#they actually had a tag here and i adore it bc it was in caps lock for a while#no idea why it was in caps but whatever it was thems the rules#rice has a younger sister named turnip and shes a pawn and then his coworker rook is a guy named cakes#and cakes has a huuuuuuge crush on him and doesnt think to hide it so rice just kinda puts up with it and then somehow#they meet with one of the white knights and are like well he seems mostly harmless#and since they dont attack or try to kill him he decides hes actually in love with rice as well so cakes is like oh no#im going to lose my years long crush to some foreign guy#but the white knight is just vibing cause out of the entire white army he has the least stake in it bc he was born in the land of red#so he doesnt really care but since one of his parents was a white native he got recruited kinda#look it sounds so bad to have colored nations and them being white black and red#but its chess i swear and my dad had a REALLY FUCKING NICE wooden chess set when i was a kid#and it was AMAZING AND BEAUTIFUL and each piece had red felt on the bottom to about scuffing the pretty wood board#anyway thats where the neutral land idea came from - all of his pieces had SOME red on them#and now i gotta go to work for more video orientation#guys theres been so many videos in the past two days#i have no energy for art#i have so many things i wanna draw but i havent managed to actually do anything yet#i need a fuckin schedule.....
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Something that bothers me about this fandom is when people say that we shouldn't ship Sokka and Katara with Zuko and Azula because colonizers and the Fire Nation tried to colonize the water tribes and wipe them out. Here's the thing. It wasn't just the water tribes. The Fire Nation attacked the Earth Kingdom too. They completely wiped out the air nomads as well. And yet I don't see anyone having any issue with Zukaang, Jinko or Jetko. So why is it only a problem when it's Zutara, Zukka, Azutara, and Sokkla?
Also? You do realize that by saying this, you're pretty much saying that white people and black people shouldn't be together. That pretty much anyone who is white should not be together with a person of color, because of the history of colonialism. You're saying that people of color should not look for love outside of our own race because of the history that is there. Do you know what we call that way of thinking? Racism. And I will tell you why. Because you are saying that interracial relationships are a problem and should not exist. And for someone like me, who is from the United States of America, where interracial marriage is still looked down upon in some states, and the Republicans have tried to get rid of it before? As someone who is black and indeginous, as someone who had a grandmother who was half white? I take offense to that. Because you are being racist.
I'm also going to say this, and I'm sorry if it sounds racist but it's the truth and it needs to get called out: this kind of thinking is usually by white people who see it as some kind of gotcha moment and think that they are combating racism by saying stuff like this. Man, do I have some news for you. You aren't helping anything. You are still actively a part of the problem because you are still being racist. Not to say that it's only white people, because I've seen people who aren't white say the exact same thing. And it's nonsense. Why are we condemning people who have nothing to do with what their ancestors did? By that logic, I shouldn't be best friends with a boy I met in my freshmen year of high school, who is white and from Greece. Because people who look just like him enslaved my people centuries ago, treated them like garbage, hunted us down like we were animals, etc. But guess what? That has nothing to do with him.
Lastly, people who are from different cultural backgrounds getting together should be seen as a sign of hope, a sign that we can learn to co exist with one another and live in peace with each other. It should be seen as a step forward to a better future. It should not be seen as a bad thing. If two people from different backgrounds want to be together? That's on them. It has absolutely nothing to do with you. And if it bothers you that much, that's a problem that YOU have and that you need to look at and sort out. Don't make it everyone else's problem.
#Aki talks#atla#atla fandom problems#atla fandom criticism#Racism in fandom#Seriously stop saying this#You are not doing the 'right thing' by saying it#You are in fact part of the problem#Zutara#Zukka#Azutara#Sokkla
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"Not a devil, I'm not a devil!" "Oh no, I'm dead, I'm gone... aaahhhh, aahhh"
H I
Rambling is below as per usual!
Click at the bottom for a bonus art, the stand alone art for each of the characters in this piece and two poems. Yes, TWO whole poems! Pretty shitty ones at that. I quickly typed them into the file for the background to capture the vibes from the OG MV. That's how elaborate this one was.
Hey! It's me again. Sorry for going silent for so long, life and stuff got in the way. I got a job, but I didn't last long in it because I didn't pass the trial period. So here I am popping back in with an elaborate art piece loosely related to the paracosm with the main duo, the Jellyfish Duo.
Here's the music video this is inspired from by the way
There's a reason why I picked out which Miku the two would cosplay as for the Bit.
SpongeBob ended up with the slutty Deco27 Miku because it reminds me of how he sees himself as well as the fallen imagery. He plays the good guy in his show and even everyone sees him as a good person (Angel), but he sees himself as a bad person and actor because he thinks that it's his fault that acting out some bad/not so great episodes lead to forsaking the Nation into being raided by Weblings who took their reaction too far. It's also because he was at his peak during his golden age before "taking the fall" (being a black angel instead of white). Hence the fallen angel
Lusamine gets PinocchioP's Miku for obvious reasons. She plays the villain who happens to wear white, and hides a dirty secret behind the clean reputation. The less obvious reason is that the lyrics for White Devil Miku fit her paracosm counterpart, especially the "I'm not a devil!" bits (they'd sound like it's her insisting she's not "Her"/The Persona and pleading people to not see her That Way™). She doesn't want to be seen as a devil, she doesn't even WANT to be the devil. But she has to play the part in order for the game to move forward. "So sayeth the devil," even sounds like the rolcists stamping the label on her without taking another look at the actress and giving her another chance.
"Smile and play the part," just reminds of the paracosm in general, everyone has to play a part of their story just to exist. It could also fit SpongeBob because he has to play the part of an angel.
Bonus art
A chart :>
A jokey version of the chart (people said SpongeBob is the hot one as a joke because of this art work)
The stand alone art works of the characters in the "Not a devil" piece
Some additional notes:
• SpongeBob's wand is a spatula in the heart shape
• I really could have drawn SpongeBob in a, ahem, more modest outfit, but I thought it was funny to put him in a suggestive one. Plus, I somehow made his legs look really good, so now I HAD to play for the bit.
• Lusamine's outfit is based on Kartana, the origami Ultra Beast. I think it became a running gag or bit where she'd cosplay an ultra beast even if she didn't mean to. A friend even imagined that she has a wardrobe full of UB-themed outfits
• I could not for the life of me add in the wings on their back. So what I did to make up for it is them sitting on their respective jellyfishes. They're both shinies too, both to go well with their colour schemes and just to match in general.
• Their "mini me"s floating by them are based on their jellyfish forms
• I know that this piece would fit a different pairing better if it were to be a smaller crossover (like Squidward being the devil to SpongeBob's angel or Cynthia being the angel to Lusa's devil), but crack platonic ship duo who are obsessed with jellyfishes...
• SpongeBob's sun is based on Mr. Sun from the Best day ever episode
• Lusamine's moon is basically the moon logo from Pokémon Moon. What I did to achieve that look is pretty much cheating. I basically looked for the og picture, copy and pasted it onto the file, cropped out the unnecessary bits, and then colored over the logo in another layer. I got lazy, okay.
Ah! Before I forget, the poems!! Some of their bits are hidden behind the characters, so I'll just copy and paste them here.
For Lusamine's side:
The unfortunate actress, so young yet so unlucky
Ignorant to the core, glad to be born
She plays a part with a heart so murky
And pays the price for the flesh she worn
Darker and dark have her days gone by
As she bid her rights good bye
On set, her mouth left her with a scorn
Off stage, hell awaits her in full
Now she regrets being born
For her script played her like a fool
For SpongeBob's side:
The fallen actor, how sleek, how serious.
Once youthful, once a prodigy.
Sad to say his episodes became nefarious.
Now his nation and his life turn into a tragedy.
One by one, his comrades die.
As they look at death in the eye.
One neighbor taken, another hung twice over.
Of course it left him wailing.
He directed his final act with a game over.
But he can't, for everyone wants him to keep sailing.
#immersive daydreaming#screen universe#art#daydreaming#digital art#screen universe rambling#spongebob fanart#spongebob#pokemon villains#pokemon#lusamine#Not a devil#devil janai mon#jellyfish duo
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I feel like I keep seeing antis/anti-leaning people claim that proshippers are against discussions of racism in fandom. Obviously there is the basic bad faith interpretation (deliberate slander), which I'm not inherently against, but do you have any idea if there's a potential good faith interpretation of why they think this? Is there a specific fandom where the proshippers are actually yelling at the antiracists?
--
I get this question all the time, which is ironic since I tend to be public enemy #1 for the "AO3 is racist" crowd. (Or maybe they've moved on by now. I don't really keep up with them.)
No, there is no good faith interpretation. It's recycled Star Wars wank from 2015, SamSteve vs. Stucky wank from the same period, etc. etc.
The "anti-racists" in question include a lot of big names who should know better. Their central arguments boil down to:
The demographics of which characters get shipped and/or written about on AO3 are racist.
A lot of individual fics about characters of color on AO3 are racist.
AO3's refusal to "listen" and then censor is racist.
Fans of color "need" to be able to speak up about fic that is racist... in that fic's comments.
It's all ass-backwards because it focuses on the needs of the reader to find the content they want, which is content creator influencer hell, not the writer-focused AO3 approach.
The whole point of AO3-style fandom is that everyone has access to posting, and you can write what you want. Want more fics about your fave? Write them.
There are individual AO3 fics I find racist, but the vast majority of the discourse around the site focuses on things like writers who ship the black dude but use him as a prop boyfriend and not the single perfect tear woobie who's obviously their favorite. Is the pattern racist? Well, yeah, but you won't solve it by trying to restrict those fics. And the extreme form of this turns into a cliched top/bottom shipwar, which just makes everyone involved look like a moron.
Teaching people how to write their tops with personalities is far more likely to make the collective fic in a fandom less racist than demanding that they switch which pairing dynamic they're into. Making more original media where the man of color is the woobie in the first place would also help.
Plenty of the discourse is crying that such-and-such a m/m ship is super popular on AO3, temple of m/m, while gen about characters of color or some particular het ship with a nonwhite character is less popular. "Why don't you ship het instead of m/m" is a gigantic red flag for people who refuse to understand libido or accept it as a valid reason for anything.
A lot of the discourse is anti-kink despite lying about this fact. "Boo hoo hoo, I for sure psychically know who's a racist white person and who's a kinky black person whose id doesn't match up with mine!" etc.
There's also a lot of "This fic is race kink!" nonsense thrown around about any fic where a man of color has a big dick, as though penis size by itself is the racist cliche often summed up as "big black cock" and as though all ethnicities and nationalities are subject to identical stereotypes. This garbage gets uncritically repeated by newly-minted "woke" people falling over themselves to correct hundreds of years of injustice by yelling at others for a couple of days on twitter.
This is where the "you're calling me an anti to silence me" garbage comes from. Sound like a kink-hater, get treated as one.
AO3 does have bullying problems by now, and the various blocking and muting features were overdue. They are now being implemented, which is great. Anyone with half a brain cell should see that these are key anti-racist measures so that people can block idiots who write fic they hate or who leave shitty comments...
But a certain number of jackasses complain even about that because it will ~silence fans of color~ who need to go tell someone they're a racist in their fic comments.
These dumbass arguments have been circulating for years at this point, so the talking points have boiled down to catch phrases.
--
Damn right I'm against "discussion" when it means telling everyone that only white people would like nasty kink.
When the whiny "plz censor AO3" crowd stops sounding exactly like that asshole who used "freaks of color" in a past discussion about these kinds of things and when they're ready to discuss how to write extreme kink about their faves non-racistly without reducing the kinkiness, then I will be ready to listen to their arguments.
But they have none other than "write the kind of fic I like!"
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An Asian's views on blackwashing Asian characters:
I usually don't speak about race-bending publicly, but after seeing other people talking about it on Tumblr and race-bending being a kinda big thing on Twitter, I'd like to make my own kind of essay about it. For now, I'll just be talking about people race-bending my own race and that I'll mostly be focusing on anime characters:
Not all anime characters have a specified race. When they do, they’re mostly Japanese (or at least Asian), as most anime takes place in Japan. Asians have a variety of skin tones, obviously.
I'm an Asian on the darker scale of skin tones, but Asians can have any skin tone. So, no, I am not a "white person speaking over Asians".
Asia is not just East Asia, as Central Asia, South Asia, Southeast Asia, and Western Asia are Asian too.
I have many problems with race-bending, especially when it involves Asian culture, which is my culture.
I'd like it if people reading this will fully read it and will understand where I'm coming from.
The character is not yours. You shouldn’t change the racial element of a character that isn’t yours.
It’s better to create your own character and have them be inspired by the character you want to race-bend.
Races are not interchangeable. Race-bending is a racist version of redesigning a character.
Artists can say “it’s just harmless fun” or “It’s not as bad as whitewashing”. Every race should have right representation. But that’s the thing. Changing a race of a character is not the right way. Race-bending any character can be very racist since it’s erasing the representation that race gets.
Whenever artists race-bend a canonically Asian character, I feel personally offended. I hate the mentality of changing a character’s race just so you can relate to them. You don’t have to change their race to relate to them. You can relate to them because of their personality, backstory, etc. You can like a character, even if they’re not the same race as you.
Black people may not be represented right (sometimes at all), but Asians (and just about every minority) also have the same problem. You can’t just “fix” a race’s problem by increasing problems for another race.
No one is Asian-washing black characters. Example, since this series has a lot of diversity: Josuke Higashikata from JoJo’s Bizarre Adventure: Diamond is Unbreakable/Diamond is Not Crash. People draw Josuke, the half-Japanese and half-British character of Japanese nationality, black. You can literally look up “josuke black” and know what I’m talking about. Artists doing that are not just making Josuke’s skin color darker, they’re replacing his features with black people’s features. If an artist draws Muhammad Avdol from JoJo’s Bizarre Adventure: Stardust Crusaders, the black man of Egyptian nationality, Asian, they definitely would be called racist. But when an artist turns an Asian character black, it’s okay? No, both are racist.
The “Blasians exist” excuse: If you redesign a character to be mixed, their features should be mixed. If you erase the defining racial features of an Asian and replace them with black features, you are not drawing a Blasian, you are drawing a Black person. I really hate it when artists redraw a character as black and say they’re mixed race when they erase literally every racial feature to put in another.
Why can’t people just draw their own black character?
Why not make an OC if you want black representation?
It’s much better than altering a canon character since it doesn’t have racist elements in it.
The reason I’m writing about blackwashing and not whitewashing is because everyone seems to agree that whitewashing is bad.
Imagine taking an Asian character and making them black. Sounds racist to me.
But all race-bending is bad.
Even my mixed African-Asian friend (who actually comes from Africa) doesn't like it when people draw Asian characters black.
As an Asian, I would much rather want to see someone having a black OC than someone redrawing characters of my own race to fit the features of black people.
As an Asian, I would much rather want to see someone having an Asian OC than someone redrawing black characters (or characters of any other race). (Then again, people aren’t drawing non-Asians Asian)
Races are not interchangeable, no matter what.
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The Artist and His Majesty| 18+
𝓉𝒽𝑒 𝒶𝓇𝓉𝒾𝓈𝓉 𝒶𝓃𝒹 𝒽𝒾𝓈 𝓂𝒶𝒿𝑒𝓈𝓉𝓎 0 / 5 | fantasy au.
chapter i , chapter ii
pairings: yandere! emperor! shigaraki x female! reader.
warnings: [series] dubcon, exhibitionism, size difference, degradation, masturbation, bondage, reader is also kind of delusional, death, violence (not on reader). (there are more but i can’t think right now.]
↪ for chapter 0: none !!
summary: you come to the big city in hopes of starting your career as an artist but things take a shocking turn when you’re recruited as the court painter for the royal palace.
↪ for chapter 0: a strange man approaches you, offering to buy your painting to which you oblige. little do you know that it kicks of a series of unfortunate events ending with you being trapped in shigaraki tomura’s clutches forever.
wordcount.
a/n: finally !! i started this series. high-key inspired by these two dresses in my wardrobe and @ana-list‘s this drawing ! seriously it’s literally everything. also thank you once again for proof reading this @the-grimm-writer !
taglist: @shigaraki-is-my-master, @deathmemeiverse, @n4dhii, @bat-eclecticwolfbouquet-love, @mstssister, @nereida19, @prince-zukohere [dm to be added/ removed.]
“That’s a beautiful painting,” a rough, scruffy voice calls out, jerking you away from your daydreams. Your grip around the color canvas resting in your arms tightens as you glance behind your shoulder to see a well-built man standing right behind you. He’s tall and a lot older than you, he has short grey hair which falls right before his eyebrows along beautiful, matching grey eyes. A cigar hangs lazily from his lips as he occasionally huffs on it, blowing clouds of smoke out his mouth. He’s dressed in expensive robes, a choice of style only people better off could afford. You can’t help exachaning a covetous glance between his expensive suit and your sloppy, knee-length, light green dress. “Thank you.” you murmur shoving him an appreciative look, hoping he’d leave you alone. When you come to the city to complete your studies in art, you mother, father, family and friends had warned you about men like these. Rich, snobby men who liked to lure in young, naive girls. Whispering praises of how they are the most unique on the planet so they pull their guard down form them to take advantage of the helpless beings.
“Can I take a better look? It’s the Emperor, is it not? Your painting. ” You hesitate before turning back to him. Not a lot of people had seen the King to be. He lived humbly in his castle, trying his best to not indulge in the affairs of the common people. “ Yes,” you hold up the slightly small canvas (courtesy of you being broke the entire week and not being able to save up to buy a bigger canvas). To even get an idea of Shigaraki Tomura, you had to go through many people. Not a lot of people had seen his face, he had always kept it hidden under a mask. No one knew why he did so but the many conspiracy throes suggested it was something to do with his personal grief.
You had heard many stories about him. Some made him look like a spoiled brat with a demeaning, ignorant personality who didn’t care for others and as the rumors said: self destructive habits which lead him to tear the skin of his own neck down whenever he got anxious or frustrated.
Others portrayed him as a strong, confident man and a reliable leader who cared for his comrades. You did not know which one of the two personas brought him your attention but you couldn’t complain. Tomura had caught you under a spell, and despite never meeting him (and knowing full well you never would), you were still ready to sacrifice your life for him. He was your King even before he had taken his crown, to you he looked like a shining bright light ready to enlighten you. To you, he was a god. And as years passed by, he grew from a caterpillar into a cocoon which was ready to burst open as a butterfly into the beautiful, mysterious world. And it was happening today, Prince Tomura Shigaraki’s Coronation ceremony. After the passing of All For One, it was his turn to take the crown and fulfill his duty as the ruler of the nation
The entire city was busy, bustling with people. Families, friends and everyone in between gathered around the huge castle walls as they waited for the ceremony to begin. They waited patiently, filled with excitement and joy as they waited to catch a glimpse of the new great King. You were among them. You had come down to the centre of the city with your friends, waiting alongside many to catch a glimpse of the new ruler. The painting which nestled in your hand was something you were hoping to sell today, to a shop or anyone who wants to have it. It was a beautiful painting which had taken you several days to complete, and dare you say it, you were quite proud of it. From all the things you had heard about Tomura, you had managed to sketch him decently. Long white, wavy hair reaching till his shoulder, skin white as snow. He sat proudly on his throne wearing a cape with his vermillion eyes peering through your soul. His face was scarcely detailed as you did not have much idea about it but he still looked ethereal. With little scars running both his eyes and a comparatively larger one on his right. Chapped lips with even more scars running over them wildly, he was not conventionally attractive. No one would call him a pretty boy yet there was something more, something alluring which attracted you to him. His beauty was rare, not in the grasp of many but if it was grasped and held close to the heart, it was hard to let go off. And you found him attractive, very attractive.
The man took a good look at your painting, examining it carefully and for a second you really thought he had seen the mysterious Prince. “It’s quite similar to him,” he sends you a friendly grin and you notice a tooth from his front missing, leaving an uncomfortable gap. “Have you seen him before?” he asked and you shake your head, no. He gives you an amused expression, “I must say, you are very talented, miss…?” you complete your name with a nervous smile. “And you are?” you ask.
You realised that you were getting a little too comfortable with the stranger and it could be a really bad decision but you can’t help but give him the benefit of the doubt as he behaves like a gentleman you can find yourself to trust. “Kagero Okuta but I like to go by Giran,” he says with a lop-sided grin. Giran, you’ve heard the name before but cannot recall where and how. It sounds so familiar but you just can’t grasp it, he looked wealthy so you assumed he was a Noble and that made you even more curious as to why he was speaking to you.
“What are you planning to do with that painting?” he asks, diving a closer look and admiring its features. “I must say, you’ve got it quite accurate but,” you stiffen, your hands growing cold as your heartbeat picks up. You realized your painting must have some complications, drawing a man you had never seen before purely out of your interpretation was a hard and a bold task to do. But to have someone who had actually seen the King for himself pinpoint your mistakes sent a rush of anxiety through your veins.
“He’s not that bony.” He completes and you gulp nervously, looking down at your painting in disappointment. Your eyes are filled with disappointment, all of the time and effort you spent making the piece all for it go in vain just because you missed a small detail. Giran notices your remorse and speaks up, “But that’s quite alright. He looked just like that until a while ago,” he hadn’t meant to offend or hurt you. He still believed your painting was the most beautiful thing he had seen all day.
“What do you mean?” you ponder, giving him a perplexed look. He leans in closer to you as if to tell a secret, “let’s say the King has been working out behind closed doors.” you blink in confusion. It was a strange thing to say, exactly how well did this man know the Emperor? Who was it that you were talking?
“Who are you?” you can’t help but question, bewildered by such a character. Giran says nothing. He just stares at you with his lips curled into a snappy smirk, holding his cigar between his lips. He was not going to tell you anything. Without wasting time, he quickly changes the topic. “What are you going to do with that painting?” he repeats, his voice growing impatient.
“I am planning to sell it,” you feel a bit taken back. The friendly aura which had Giran had now disappeared for a reason you could not conclude. “Sell it? To whom?” the intruding nature of his tone starts to make you uncomfortable, there’s nothing more you want to do other than get far away from him. Yet you still find yourself answering him, “To anyone who wants it.” he hums at your response, his eyes holding a mocking glint. “Wouldn’t you like to give it to the Emperor himself?” you frown, was he mocking you?
“That’s well...impossible.” you reply, stretching your neck awkwardly. “To you, maybe.”
You stop yourself from rolling your eyes, this man was really testing your patience. A part of you tells you to ignore him and walk away but as he reaches into his coat and pulls out a bag of coins worth much more than you could ever earn in a month, he has you hooked yet again.
“Hey, let me buy that painting, would yer’?”
.
..
..
“What is the problem now?” Giran takes a seat around the round table. It was late after the Coronation ceremony and the Royal palace was already facing problems. Giran was disappointed but definitely not surprised. After all, he was their personal problem solver and broker. “It’s not that big of a deal.” A curt and hard reply cut him off.
“It actually is, Shigaraki Tomura.” a voice speaks, coming from a man dressed in a black suit with a long, flowy robe covering his entire body. He stands taller than the other two men in the as his head is replaced with a wisp of smoke. He was none other than the trusted and talented magician of the Royal family. With eccentric features and an ability to wield strange magic, nobody knew where he came from. There were many rumors about him; that he was once a normal, handsome man cursed by a witch that turned him into a hideous monster or he simply was a ghost. “What is it, Kurogiri?” Giran rephrases his question, directing it to the other man. “We need a new painter,-”
“Servant.” Shigaraki corrected. He stood in front of the giant windows glancing over his city as his men talked about hiring a new painter for the castle. He couldn’t care less about such tedious tasks, he had his focus set on greater things like expanding his territory, taking back stolen land.
“What happened to Mr. Kyo?” Giran asked, Shigaraki rolled his eyes at the mention of the name and clicked his tongue, “His Majesty eliminated him.” Giran stops himself from laughing out loud. He was certain once Shigaraki would take over the throne incidents like so would double the instant. But he was expecting it to happen so soon. “And why was that?”
“He was breathing too loud, like you are right now.”
A cold silence broke over the room as Giran counted his breath. Kurogiri looked nervously at Shigaraki who still had his back turned to them. The longer the pause grew, the dreadful the atmosphere became. Shigaraki’s threat strung the air loud and clear and Giran was afraid to speak again. “What we are asking for is that-,” Kurogiri started in a calm, slow tone easing the tension in the room. “-we need a new court painter. Do you have any names?”
The murderous sent in the air magically disappeared as a grin stretched across Giran’s face.
“Aren’t you in luck?” He says, running a hand through his hair before taking a puff out of his cigar. “Does that mean you know someone?” Kurogiri questioned. Giran hummed, “You see, I met this beautiful painter today. She’s extremely talented and I know for a fact she will love working for the castle.”
“What’s the name?” growing impatient, Shigaraki asks. “Oh, it was,” Giran pauses for a moment to recall.
“Ah yes, Y/N L/N.”
#shigaraki.🤍#shigaraki x reader#yandere shigaraki#shigaraki imagine#shigaraki x y/n#shigaraki smut#shigaraki x you#shigaraki x reader smut#yandere shigaraki x reader#yandere shigaraki x reader smut#bnha shigaraki#shigaraki tomura#my hero academia shigaraki#yandere bnha#bnha yandere#my hero academia#bnha fanfiction#yandere writing#yandere#bnha x reader#bnha smut#yandere smut#bnha#yandere fics#yandere bnha smut#yandere bnha x reader#yandere lov#yandere x reader#yandere writings#yandere scenarios
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bad representation in the riordanverse
Racism:
-Gave Hazel and Piper gold and ‘kaleidoscope’/brown-blue-green changing eyes and pretty much went ‘Let’s add some characters of color but they cANT HAVE BROWN EYES THAT’S NOT PRETTY ENOUGH’ as if whitewashing isn’t more than just the skin.
-East Asian characters: Riordan pretty much went 'Here are my East Asian characters- one of them looks like a fat baby on steroids and is super undeveloped, his mother is strict and cold, and all the others are just described as 'Asian' because different countries in Asia don't exist and there's obviously no difference between Japanese, Chinese, and Korean'. His portrayal of East Asian characters went like this: Frank: Chinese, chubby, hates himself, underdeveloped, described to look like a 'Chinese Canadian baby man' and a 'panda' as if that's not stereotyping, and only learned to love himself when he looked hotter. Drew: Asian, villainized, rude, shallow, vain, and selfish. Ethan: Asian, rude, evil, a traitor, and deceased. Grandma Zhang- rude, strict, cold, traditional, and deceased.
-Hazel: Has gold eyes. Has 'cinnamon brown' hair even though dark brown or black hair would be way more inclusive and realistic. Had a mother portrayed as a rude and selfish witch who sacrificed, used, and trafficked her own child. Was the only character called or described as a witch while African-Americans were usually accused of witchcraft just for their skin color. Was the only character who was cursed. Had a mother who literally practiced voodoo. The only African-American character in the series before ToA who isn't dead (but she also died). Was paired with a sixteen year old guy even though African women are constantly forced with older men and that's blatantly racist stereotyping.
-Piper: Had 'chocolate brown' and then 'mahogany' hair? Has kaleidoscope eyes. Put a feather in her hair (which is stereotyping)- and it was an eagle feather, which is also wrong because eagles are extremely sacred to First Nation tribes and only spiritual leaders or warriors can wear it or it has to be gifted by an Elder of the tribe, and Riordan basically went 'Feathers are very important and it's racist to make a character wear one at inappropriate times but I'm going to make my character wear one as a cute accessory to make her look cool, pretty, and headstrong and to add to her 'Aesthetic'’ even though Cherokees didn’t wear feathers (which proves he did the bare minimum of research). Constantly oversexualized (56% of First Nation women are sexually harassed and Riordan had the audacity to put Piper in an 'embarrassingly low v-neck' and to have her constantly drooled over by a WHITE MALE and have her sexualized by her 1000+ mother without her knowledge or consent). It's said that her father was from a reservation in Oklahoma...but there are no reservations in Oklahoma, only cultural centers (which also proves that he did the bare minimum of research). She's the only First Nations character and she's the only character (besides Nancy Bobofit) depicted as a kleptomaniac (First Nations people are constantly called thieves by racist assholes). “The week before, he’d turned down several million dollars to play Tonto in a remake of The Lone Ranger. Piper was still trying to figure out why. He’d played all kinds of roles—a Latino teacher in a tough L.A. school, a dashing Israeli spy in an action-adventure blockbuster, even a Syrian terrorist in a James Bond movie. And, of course, he would always be known as the King of Sparta. But if the part was Native American—it didn’t matter what kind of role it was—Dad turned it down.” (The Lost Hero, page 165). So her father is fine with playing an extremely racist and stereotypical Middle Eastern role but not a First Nations role. Uses a cornucopia as a weapon (how she got it- cutting it off a half-bull- is disrespectful to her culture as hurting an animal is banned and she used a cornucopia- a symbol of Thanksgiving- as a weapon). Cut her hair, which is basically taboo in First Nations culture.
-Samirah: Had an arranged marriage (at age twelve, and she believed that she was groomed to be married to a rich and respectable family and nothing else). Ripped off her hijab in front of tons of male characters. The only Muslim character. The only Muslim character and she's the only character who married her cousin (you're supposed to break stereotypes, not enforce them).
Thomas Jefferson Jr: Said that he was thankful to the British for not siding with the South during the American Civil War even though they needed the South's cotton (but they didn't side with the North either). AKA a black man and son of a freed slave was thankful to Britain for not openly oppressing him? And at the same time he was named after a racist slave-owner.
Reyna: She's brown and her entire story revolves around her being independent, strong, alone, and self-sufficient but also desperately needing love and support but then Riordan says that she can't get her heart healed AKA she went through an abusive home, killed her father, left her sister, felt alone her whole life, worked a two-person job alone for months, and had to put on a brave face for others throughout all this then was literally told 'Shut up no one wants to hear about your struggles, just suck it up and deal with it’ and have you seen all the shit brown girls have to go through and keep silent about it?
Extra: -Latino, Puerto Rican, African-American, Chinese-Canadian, East Asian, First Nations, etc. characters and the two most powerful, best, and most skilled characters and who the stories mostly revolve around are two white guys AKA white supremacy.
-"Harriet Tubman, daughter of Hermes, used many mortals on her Underground Railroad for just this reason" and that World War II was caused by a child of Zeus and a child of Hades fighting very blatantly erases the shit those people went through and Riordan just went 'Let's use these racist movements as little easter eggs in my story'.
-Thanatos, who was chained and enslaved, is described with dark skin.
-Riordan writing the characters went a little something like this: Drew: You get common Eastern Asian features like dark hair and eyes because you're arrogant, selfish, conceited, and rude, and because you're an antagonist and you're going to be used to make one of my protagonists- who has unique traits- look good so you're going to have the basic, 'boring' physical traits so the readers know who's the more superior of the two of you. Leo: You get common Latino features like curly dark hair, dark eyes, and light brown skin cause you're the weird, hyperactive unattractive one who's very flirty but constantly gets rejected and you're the only main character without a love interest and the only way you can get a girlfriend is when she's forced to fall in love with you through a curse. Frank: You get common Chinese features like dark hair and eyes cause you're the fat unattractive loser who catches the eye of the African character who already has unique and 'special' traits so you don't have to be super attractive. Reyna: You get common Puerto Rican traits like dark skin, hair, and eyes cause you're the stoic, lonely, intimidating, and cold one who wants all the guys (two white guys for that matter) but none of them want you and they both have girlfriends with traits like blonde hair and gray and kaleidoscope eyes so the readers know who are the more interesting couples. Piper and Hazel: You two get eurocentric features because you're the main characters I have to set apart from everyone else- including other females whom I'm going to make one of you rivals with- so the readers know who's more superior so I'm giving you unique eye colors that literally cannot be found in humans so I'm going to try to validate it by saying that it's from something mildly associated with your godly parent even though neither of them have those traits. Riordan basically said that the common features are bad and boring and that unique and special features- aka features not found in those ethnicities- are good and cool. Also- if gods don’t have DNA how can their traits be passed down to their demigod children checkmate Riordan.
-Cecil Markowitz is the only Jewish character in PJO and the first thing used to describe him is "That kid, always thinking about the potential payout".
-Lavinia said that she was going to bring her date to her bat mitzvah even though you don't bring dates to bat mitzvahs or bar mitzvahs and she said that it was 'awkward' to tell her rabbi that someone was going to be her date even though you don't explain your guestlist to your rabbi, and they're most likely not even going to be at the party.
-Only three Latino and Puerto Rican characters (Leo, Reyna, and Hylla) and all three came from abusive households.
-Leo said 'Mamacita' as if that's not stereotyping.
-Made Nico ‘pale’ even though he had olive skin and gave him black hair and dark eyes despite Italians usually having light hair and eyes just to add to his ‘Goth Boy Aesthetic’.
-Hazel described Pluto to look like Adolf Hitler.
-Carter Kane said that Elvis took African-American music and made it sound like rock 'n roll and described it as cool- like no it’s cultural appropriation.
-Leo was abused and Riordan thought that it'd be funny to make all the other characters line up to punch him and then try to make it look funny.
-Gave almost every single POC character a white name and sometimes gave them white first names and POC surnames, and Reyna and Bianca are the only POC characters with names from their culture/native language and one of them is dead and reborn as someone else and the other’s full name wasn’t revealed until the fourth book in her series and she hates using it.
-Made two POC characters with names from their culture- Samirah and Olujime- go by white nicknames (Sam and Jamie) to make it ‘easier to read’ despite having white characters with the same amount of syllables in their names (like Annabeth) that didn’t go by nicknames.
-Never actually described the characters of color with physical traits from their ethnicities (Reyna, Hylla, and Leo with big eyes, thick eyebrows, brown hair, wide noses, full lips, etc., Piper with almost-oriental eyes, shovel teeth, high cheekbones, black hair, etc., Nico with light or brown hair and eyes, olive skin, a narrow nose, etc., Hazel with a wide nose and lips, dark brown eyes, black or dark brown hair, big eyes, thick eyebrows, etc.).
Anti-LGBTQ+:
-Nico was forcibly outed by Cupid and Riordan and the fandom didn't care and the only thing they thought was 'Aww, he has a crush on Percy! So cute!' AKA romanticizing a forced outing.
-Riordan said that he didn't want to make Reyna lesbian or bisexual because he thought it'd be stereotypical making her LGBTQ+ because she didn't want men anymore even though she could've been bisexual all along but Riordan casually dismissed the idea of that saying "Having a girl end up with a woman after dating men is a bad stereotype" and basically said that real bi girls don’t exist.
-The Hunters of Artemis were made so Artemis/Diana could protect those girls from men and their behavior towards women but Riordan dismissed lesbian relationships- even though nothing about that was said in real Greek mythology- meaning that he thinks that women need protection from other women just as much as they need protection from men.
-Alex Fierro is the only gender-fluid or transgender character and she/he’s seen as rude, snarky, and sharp and Magnus could magically tell when Alex changed gender.
-Riordan said that he wouldn’t make Reyna a lesbian because of stereotypes despite the reader asking if Reyna was going to get a girlfriend, not come out as lesbian AKA Riordan thinks ‘Girls liking girls’ is automatically ‘lesbian’ and completely dismissed bi, pan, poly, omni, etc. girls.
-Used a self-insert to make fun of wlw readers who saw themself in Reyna and thought she could be a cool character to relate to.
-Enforced LGBTQ+ stereotypes like the cold-hearted Asexual, the flamboyant bi/pan, the snarky gender-fluid, the emo gay, the laid-back and rebellious lesbian who dyed her hair pink and chews a lot of bubblegum, etc.
-Has one-hundred fifty-five characters total minus gods/goddesses, Titans, giants, nymphs, dryads, satyrs, monsters, etc. and only has fifteen confirmed LGBTQ+ characters (do the math, that’s exactly one out of ten regarding OCs).
-Only one character that isn’t cishet.
-Saves most the LGBTQ+ for the side characters or only confirms characters LGBTQ+ once they’ve become a minor character despite being a main character before.
-Only stated that Reyna was Asexual outside of his books and on Twitter as if that’s not exactly what J.K Rowling is doing.
-Used the LGBTQ+ community to make Piper seem like the ‘special snowflake’ and to set her apart from her siblings to make it seem like she’s better than all of them and used Hera/Juno and Aphrodite/Venus as excuses for his homophobic mindset that believes that straight is the default cause “Suddenly, much of what she and I had talked about started to make sense. Not being defined by Aphrodite’s expectations. Or Hera’s ideas of what a perfect couple looked like. Piper finding her own way, not the one people expected of her” in synonymous words is 'The expectations for love and the idea of a perfect couple are a heterosexual relationship, and anyone who 'finds their own way instead of the ones people expect' are different'. ‘Different’ and ‘default’ are antonyms AKA if he thinks that LGBTQ+ people are ‘different’, he thinks that straight is the ‘default’. Remember- an author writes their own personal beliefs.
-Josephine is the only black LGBTQ+ character.
-Reyna is said to be Asexual despite feeling sexual attraction towards Percy cause no one likes someone five minutes after knowing them and it’s anything but sexual attraction.
-Magnus and Alex are the only LGBTQ+ relationship whose growth and development is actually shown in the story (while there was also Apollo and Commodus, Piper and Shel, Will and Nico, Apollo and Hyacinthus, Emmie and Jo, Lavinia and Poison Oak, etc.).
-Riordan never canonically said the name of any sexuality and is clearly uncomfortable with the LGBTQ+ community shown by his little to no writing regarding physical affection and deep emotions in his LGBTQ+ relationships.
-Only added in LGBTQ+ relationships for publicity- Percy Jackson and the Olympians release dates: 2005-2009. 2005-2009: LGBTQ+ support was nearly at an all-time low. No LGBTQ+ characters, relationships, or references in the books. The Lost Hero-The Mark of Athena release dates: 2010-2012. 2010-2012: LGBTQ+ support was still very low. Still no LGBTQ+ characters, relationships, or references in the books. The House of Hades release date: late 2013. Mid-2013: the giant spike for LGBTQ+ support and allies. One confirmed LGBTQ+ character. The Sword of Summer release date: late 2015. 2015: LGBTQ+ support was good and gay marriage was legalized. A few LGBTQ+ references but no confirmed characters. The Hammer of Thor and The Ship of the Dead release dates: 2016-2017. 2016-2017: LGBTQ+ support was quite high. Two confirmed LGBTQ+ characters and the first canon LGBTQ+ relationship and kiss. The Trials of Apollo release dates: 2016-2020. 2016-2020: LGBTQ+ support was very high. More LGBTQ+ characters confirmed in one book than all the other series combined. Kind of obvious he was just following the public opinion.
-Legit said ‘Reyna can’t like girls cause she has had crushes on guys before’.
Ableism:
-It was heavily implied in The Battle of the Labyrinth that Rachel Dare had schizophrenia/psychosis but it's never brought up again.
-Grover's fake feet made it look like he was disabled from the Mist and it was said that he was bullied because of it but it was never brought up again.
-It was said that Tyson looked like he had down syndrome from the Mist covering his one eye but it was never brought up again.
-It was stated that every character but Frank has ADHD and dyslexia but never actually showed any symptoms after Percy Jackson and the Olympians and characters like Piper and Leo were even able to read English writing throughout The Lost Hero and the only symptom of ADHD Riordan showed through his characters was ‘a lot of fidgeting’ as if that’s not a blatant stereotype.
Pedophilia:
-Luke, a twenty-two/twenty-three year old had a crush on Annabeth, a sixteen year old. That's a six-seven year age gap.
-The only two girls put into relationships with much older men are black (Hazel and Sadie).
-Hazel, a thirteen year old, got together with a sixteen year old guy. Hazel's crush on Frank is normal- a girl having a crush on an older guy, but Frank's crush on Hazel is disgusting- an older guy looking down at a child and thinking about making out with her.
Misogyny:
-Aphrodite's kids are seen as useless, weak, snobby, shallow, vain, and selfish just because they’re feminine.
-Riordan portrayed Aphrodite’s kids as feminine despite Aphrodite being the goddess of love and beauty, not femininity, as if romance and beauty are reserved for women only.
-Piper is the only 'tomboy' child of Aphrodite and she's portrayed as tougher, stronger, and better than her feminine siblings (and it's portrayed that way multiple times throughout the story like other characters telling Piper she’s "-tough for a child of Aphrodite").
-Piper immediately stereotyped and disliked every single feminine character like Drew and the rest of the Aphrodite cabin just because they liked makeup and skirts as if that’s not shallow criticism.
-Feminine characters like Drew, Isabel, Khione, and Medea are used or even created solely as antagonists to make Piper- the tomboy- look better.
-Calypso is the only feminine character and she sucks at everything.
-Riordan’s take on female characters: Drew: a vain, rude, selfish, snobby, and bitchy mean girl. Silena: a shallow traitor. Reyna: a cold-hearted robot. Piper: internalized misogyny that was never brought up again. Calypso: an island whore. Athena: a rude, aggressive bitch with no emotions. Aphrodite: shallow, vain, conceited, and self-centered. Hera: completely evil with no backstory added into it. Marie: an evil witch who selfishly used and sacrificed her daughter.
-The Hunters of Artemis were blessed by Artemis to protect them from men but Riordan made it only about the men in their lives (again) and portrayed the whole 'losing men' thing like it was a burden and that they're 'giving men up' even though they join the Hunters to leave men. He distorted the original meaning of the Hunters- protecting women- by making it about the Hunters hating and being forced to leave men even though they're asking to have no men in their lives, cause that's the point of it.
-The Amazons and Hunters of Artemis despise men and literally attack them if they so much as speak as if sexism is reserved for women only.
-Portrayed femininity as weakness (and masculinity as strength, it’s even in the word- tomBOY).
-Constantly pit women against women for the sake of romance and love triangles instead of normalizing women getting along despite liking the same people and let the female’s relationships get controlled and influenced by the men in their lives.
-The men always outpower the women in powers and skills. Riordan’s portrayal of powers and characters- Percy: You’re going to have epic water powers and can even create your own personal hurricanes and even though you’ve only been canonically training for eight months total you’re going to be the best swordfighter despite multiple characters having years more training than you. Jason: You’re going to be able to fly, control lightning, create storms, and electric shock people into another dimension. Leo: You’re going to be able to create and control fire and blow shit up with just a screwdriver. Frank: You’re going to be able to shape-shift into any animal you want, even a whole dragon. Nico: You’re going to be able to control darkness and shadows, literally teleport, and raise a whole army of undead soldiers. Reyna: Powers? Nah, your only ability is to lend strength to others as if that benefits you at all. Annabeth: Powers? Nah. Piper: You’re going to be able to manipulate and seduce people and are literally going to use your body and attractiveness as a weapon and your power is literally called charmspeak. Hazel: You have more powers than all the other characters combined that can literally destroy anyone in less than a second but you’re never going to use them or even remember that you have them cause screw the female character being more powerful than the males.
-The men always accomplish the most incredible feats and if the females ever do accomplish something great (Reyna healing the riff and defeating Orion while the Hunters and Amazons couldn’t combined, Annabeth going through Tartarus, Hazel learning to control the Mist, etc.) they are never praised or rewarded or all the credit goes to the men.
-Ares/Mars in real Greek/Roman mythology was the feminist patron of the Amazons who loved his daughter very much and killed a rapist but was portrayed as the dumb, cruel asshole who loved nothing but bloodshed and tried to kill a twelve year-old kid who was trying to help him while Poseidon/Neptune in real Greek/Roman mythology was a greedy, short-tempered, and arrogant asshole who raped almost as much women than Zeus/Jupiter but was portrayed as the kind, caring, and gentle father figure.
Fatophobia:
-Frank is the only chubby character and he hates himself because of it, was constantly fat-shamed, and only learned to love himself after he got rippling abs, muscles, and looked hotter (because fat = ugly in Riordan’s mind, even though it's not).
-Clovis was depicted with a pot-belly and Drew described him as 'repulsive'.
-Dionysus/Bacchus is also depicted with a pot-belly and he's portrayed as a useless, rude, lazy, and drunken asshole.
Lookism:
Basically how Riordan wrote his characters- Percy, Annabeth, Jason, Reyna, Hazel, Piper, and most minor protagonists: You’re all going to be super attractive, have at least one character or more pining for you, have your looks constantly commented on, and some of you will even use your looks as a weapon cause that’s not obvious sexualization cause you’re all the main characters and protagonists that readers need to know are the protagonists. Nico, Leo, and Frank: You three are originally portrayed as unattractive but at some points are described as cute and two of you are insecure about your looks cause you’re scrawny and chubby and one of you hates yourself cause of your body and only learn to love yourself once you magically gain abs cause more muscle obviously equals more attractiveness. Luke, Silena, Chris, and Ethan: You four are going to be super attractive because you’re traitors but all of you make up for your actions and decide to help the demigods and become protagonists again. Octavian, Bryce, Michael, Titans, giants, etc.: You all are the antagonists so you have to be super ugly with multiple physical imperfections cause you’re not allowed to be attractive since you are against the protagonists and I have to set you guys apart and show the readers who’s the better and more superior character.
-Frank hated himself cause he was chubby and only loved himself once he got skinnier and gained muscle through magic but even then was called ‘cute like a panda’.
-Leo was described as scrawny and unattractive and was insecure about being short but even then was called ‘cute in a scrawny way’.
-Piper had facial imperfections and even a pimple on her nose but once she got claimed all of those disappeared and they stayed gone even after the blessing washed off despite all the magic being gone and only then was Piper’s looks commented on multiple times.
-Lester/Apollo hated his appearance cause he had a little flab and acne and his physical imperfections were used as comedy by making fun of it as if insecure readers don’t exist.
-Percy and Annabeth had one canon physical imperfection- a gray streak in their hair- and that magically washed away.
-None of the other characters were described with any physical imperfections like pimples/zits/acne, body hair (despite none of the characters having the care or time to wax or shave), bushy/frizzy or messy hair or eyebrows, big or small hands or noses, blackheads, super thick or thin eyebrows, blemishes, birthmarks, scars, stretch marks, braces, lazy eyes, yellow or chipped teeth, eye bags, glasses, moles, dimples, love handles, flab/fat, visible veins, freckles, etc. unless it added to their ‘aesthetic’ despite none of those being bad and saves it only for the antagonists as if ‘physical imperfections’ = ‘evil’.
Bias:
-Riordan portrayed the Romans as cold, cruel, ruthless, strict, and overall horrible despite them being the more inclusive camp regarding family and godly parents, have multiple families and rules that ensure their camper’s safety, and hold the nicest characters in the series while the Greeks are portrayed as fun, wild, reckless, silly, and cool despite holding the most prejudiced and rude characters, outcasting and ostracizing characters of certain godly parents just for their parentage, stereotype almost every single cabin, and make some campers without siblings live, sleep, and eat alone.
-Every Greek traitor (Luke, Silena, Ethan, and Chris) were portrayed as powerful, kind, attractive, and awesome and each made up for their actions but each Roman ‘traitor’ (Octavian, Bryce, and Michael, and only one of them are actually a traitor) were portrayed as unattractive, cruel, ambitious, ruthless, and extremely weak and never actually did anything useful.
-The Greeks were part of the Union and the Romans were part of the Confederacy (adding on to Riordan adding racist movements as fun little easter eggs in his stories).
-Four out of seven of the main Seven are Greek.
-There are at least 70+ Greek characters and less than thirty named Romans.
-The Battle of San Francisco Bay was used for the sole purpose to weaken the Romans and make the Greeks seem stronger than them and while the Greeks went through two whole wars, their camp laid almost completely untouched but the moment the Romans are introduced, half their population is wiped?
Romanticization:
-Romanticized Annabeth judo-flipping Percy AKA romanticized physical abuse/harassment (emotions, angriness, feelings of love and affection, ‘they went through a lot together’, etc. do not excuse hitting someone) despite Annabeth knowing where Percy’s Achilles Heel was and not knowing he lost it and flipping him on his back anyways (if Percy didn’t lose the Achilles Heel, Annabeth would’ve killed him).
-Romanticized Leo killing himself to see Calypso again and to take her off her island AKA a romanticized suicide.
-Romanticized Calypso yelling at and insulting Leo and Annabeth insulting and canonically lowering Percy’s self-esteem AKA romanticized verbal abuse/bullying.
-Romanticized Will trying to help Nico through his loneliness and depression as if that can’t be portrayed as someone just wanting to help another person AKA romanticized mental illness.
-Romanticized every character kissing another character without asking first and without their consent AKA romanticized sexual harassment.
-Romanticized Piper taking advantage over Jason’s amnesia and mental state and jumping onto him despite knowing there might be a girl he couldn’t remember AKA romanticized manipulation.
-Romanticized Piper and Annabeth’s possessive, overly-jealous, and controlling behavior over Jason and Percy (even before they were canonically dating).
-Romanticized Nico being forced to confess his crush on Percy AKA romanticized a forced outing.
Rick Riordan:
-Refused to apologize for his actions even after being called out by people from the groups he was writing inaccurately and stereotyping (Muslim, Jewish, African, First Nation, lesbian, gay, Puerto Rican, etc.) and tried to make himself look like the victim.
-Claimed he was being ‘bullied’ by readers half his age who were just pointing out his books’ racist flaws.
-Showed time and time again that he is not willing to listen to the voices of minorities.
-Clearly didn’t do his research on ethnicities, sexualities, religions, etc. shown by how he got the simplest things wrong.
-Tried to say that he- a straight white man- was right when people of the actual groups he was writing about (gay, First Nation tribes, etc.) were wrong.
-Used excuses like having a ‘headstrong’ and ‘stubborn’ character who wants to ‘show their culture in their own way’ for his stereotypes. No, Riordan, you want to show the culture that way, not Piper. She’s a fictional character, you’re real. Dumbass.
-Literally said ‘Sorry I put feathers in Piper’s hair, I can’t change what I wrote in the past and I didn’t know that sensitive readers existed’ then continued to write feathers in Piper’s hair in the future books.
The Fandom:
Note: Not to all of the fandom, obviously
-Draws Piper with light skin, light hair, and kaleidoscope eyes with feathers, hippie bands, and beads (yes, it's canon, but you're allowed to change it if it's blatantly racist, and the bead and hippie band thing was created by the fandom and that's also stereotyping).
-Almost always draw Reyna, Hylla, and Leo with light skin and Caucasian traits (props to the few artists who drew them with the right skin tones).
-Draws Hazel with gold eyes, ‘cinnamon’/light brown hair, and an adult body.
-Sexualizes female characters by drawing them in sexy and revealing clothes and giving them all the same exact sexy, slim, and perfect hour-glass shaped bodies.
-Almost never include physical imperfections, muscle, scars, stretch marks, etc. in drawings.
-Fancasts white actors for characters of color and puts actors/faceclaims of white people or people of different ethnicities in the moodboards or aesthetics for characters of color.
-Participates in cultural appropriation by wearing feathers when cosplaying Piper and wearing a hijab when cosplaying Samirah.
-Supports Riordan, tries to defend him, and condones his clearly racist and bigoted actions just cause they ‘like the books’ (if you are straight, white, and/or cishet, I definitely don’t want to see you trying to defend a fifty-five year-old multi-millionaire who is clearly racist, sexist, homophobic, and transphobic).
-Romanticize physical abuse, verbal abuse, mental illnesses and panic/anxiety attacks, etc.
-Ship pedophilic, manipulative, abusive, and wrong relationships.
-Barely allow others to have their own opinions (looking at you Perachel haters) without yelling at, insulting, cursing out, and/or even threatening them for liking or disliking different things than them including ships, characters, books, plots/faults, and Riordan himself.
-Straightwashes characters like shipping Nico with female characters or setting him up with a female character in fanfics.
-Whitewashes characters like drawing Hazel and Piper with eurocentric features, Reyna, Hylla, and Leo with white skin and Caucasian traits, Nico with white/pale skin, etc.
-Try to excuse and explain abusive, manipulative, possessive, and overall very wrong and toxic behavior.
-Fail to recognize and/or admit the toxic, racist, homophobic, sexist, transphobic, wrong, abusive, etc. faults in the books, ships, and characters just cause they like them.
The Percy Jackson franchise does not add good representation. You can still like the series as long as you don’t condone Riordan’s racist and toxic writing and actions and don’t try to ignore the horrible and stereotypical faults just cause you don’t want to admit that your favorite or childhood story is horrible.
#heroes of olympus#percy jackson#Percy Jackon and the Olympians#magnus chase#magnus chase and the gods of asgard#trials of apollo#annabeth chase#jason grace#frank zhang#hazel levesque#leo valdez#reyna avila ramirez arellano#reyna ramirez arellano#rachel dare#rachel elizabeth dare#thalia grace#will solace#cecil markowitz#bryce lawrence#michael varus#drew tanaka#piper mclean#aphrodite#venus#racism#sexism#misogyny#homophobia#transphobia#rick riordan
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(1/2) I know this is some controversial topic and that you sometimes cover US politics, but what do you think the american left needs to improve to reach to more people and be taken more seriously?; It's unbelievable that in the very 2021, apolitical folk are still fallin into the whole "the leftist are a bunch of crazies" narrative, we may do some pushback the last three years against conservative politics.
(2/2) But it's still not enough; on your personal opinion, what fundamental core value needs to be changed to engage to these apolitical people and that leftist want politics to improve the quality of life of the population without being labeled as a "petulant, whiney children" There's some greek-flavored advice that we can apply to our discourse? Thanks in advance :)
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Ooooo… Great question! And by “great” I mean “Do you want me to go down in flames and get cut a thousand times with pitchforks??” xD But it’s very interesting so I will answer it! And you will be subjected to an essay of 3.200 words 😘💅 (I want to be meticulous, don’t come at me)
Please assume the tone is light and conversational. I am not in a very serious or dramatic mood, and I don’t want to estrange any group by assuming the role of an all knowing tutor or someone who always has the high moral ground. This is just 1am blabbering.
I am not against leftists. On the contrary, I know their side so well that I think I have a solid opinion on its flaws. (I have friends who are left- okay I’ll stop xD) Needless to say, the right side also has flaws and the two sides often share flaws. But right now, we are only talking about the leftists. And of course, #notallleftists xD I recognize that leftists are ordinary and diverse people with empathy and capability of critical thinking and problem-solving (Did I mention I have friends who ar--) Jokes aside, I think my following is quite left leaning and I am not bashing them here. I am criticizing the movement as a whole and trying to see where it can be improved.
***** Anyways, I will generalize the bad traits for the sake of everyone’s time, it’s what I am saying! So, when I say “they” I will probably mean “some” or “the bad apples” etc. *****
To begin, US leftists don’t want to, but they are accidentally imperialist xD Unfortunately, they don't know much about other countries, and they don’t usually have knowledge of countries they are talking about if they don’t have an immediate connection to them. Not knowing things is fine, but when people on this site are like “ugh Americans” this points to an ignorance and a sort of entitlement that doesn’t occur this often in other countries. My internet cycle is overwhelmingly leftist and yet I continue seeing willingness for ignorance all around - and when I check it’s not by conservatives.
Leftists think their (social and not) politics apply to every country and culture, that people in different countries classify themselves as they do in the US. And when people from those countries talk about their problems, there is always an American that wants to give input based on American politics, and without knowing the situation in this other country they want to talk about. Ironically, the last one is a behavior of conservative politicians. Conservative politicians and citizens sometimes think it’s fine to intervene in other countries for “the greater good”. Well, leftists do the same but on the internet. It stalls conversation and makes it messy and force foreigners to apply to American standards.
Because leftists don't understand social differences between countries, they project their own politics, and that can make them seem obsessed with skin color and blind to cultural diversity. They act like only Americans or certain countries have every lived through colonialism and suffered slaughter and slavery. (Because they don’t feel the need to study and learn further.) To an American that might not be the case, but when Americans converse with foreigners about foreign issues, they seem to have a blind spot.
They act as if only white, cis, straight people can be perpetrators of imperialism. Booyyy I have news xD Yes, of course white, cis, straight people can be perpetrators of imperialism, but the attitude that they are the first to blame, always, it’s faulted. I have many experiences, but let’s start with a very simple one, of an Indian American young woman who thought only a lota can clean you with water in the toilet, and that Europeans haven’t heard of bidets or any other means of cleanliness (or that they have the bathtub RIGHT THERE xD) One of the highlights was a Black woman insisting “Medusa was Black because my grandma told me” despite what Greeks were telling her.
Another thing that stuck with me was the case of a Greek who wanted to write about the people who happen to be a minority in the US (you would call them poc I guess). Many people from those countries were enthusiastic about the project and aided the writer as much as they could, sharing culture and realizing how many things in common they had. But it was from same populations in the US that the writer found people who blamed them for daring to write something outside of their culture. (To explain, most US Americans were fine, but only in the US were some who were hostile). Or, I have seen Chinese Americans being offended by a certain thing (I think it was something about fashion) saying “this is an offense to Chinese culture” meanwhile Chinese people from everywhere else in the world (99% of Chinese, I’d say) said “I don’t understand… this is fine!”
Many US American poc categorize all light skinned Caucasians of the world as White Americans and the rest are the “cultured” Black or Brown people. US Americans are now learning that Slavic cultures exist and it’s… something else to watch leftists realizing light skinned people can have great embroidery and they are not actually stealing Mexican traditional clothing xD (reference to an obscure “calling out” comment on tik tok).
I don’t specifically target US poc here, I am just mentioning that everyone conveniently forgets them as if they are untouchable and never said anything ignorant, while they are as active on social media causes as other Americans. In fact, if most poc are aligned to a side, that would be the Left. They are a very big part of the progressive movement – and that’s why I am giving so much space here for them – but then it seems they can’t have a share of the “bad” things of the leftist movement, only the good. Which is humanly impossible, to be always correct.
That’s one of the problems of leftism, that in a way pardons certain minorities and by doing that it not only lets the problematic bubbles grow but also infantilizes those minorities because it passes the message that “they can never do anything wrong”. While background matters when having an opinion, I see that skin-color goes ridiculously above opinion on these matters, which is not very egalitarian. When I argue with a person, the last thing I see is the person’s skin color. When someone says “ancient Greeks were actually a Black nation ad then they became White” I don’t care how this person looks like. No matter your skin color, you must take responsibility for the misinformation you are spreading. I won’t assume that because someone is a poc that they can’t study and learn more about the matter of discussion.
So… the “issue” doesn’t come from being white, cis, straight etc but from being raised as a US American. I don’t imply by any means that being a US American is bad. The last thing I want to do here is enforce guilt. (If you are feeling guilty already I must be mistaken in my wording so I am sorry for that). I am talking about certain beliefs that come with raised as a US American. Similarly, many beliefs a Greek can have are because of their environment. Everyone is affected by their background in one way or another.
American leftists believe that even the piss poor British farmers benefited from colonialism – and still benefit perhaps on a systemic scale. So, with the same logic, even the lowest layers of the US American society benefit from imperialism and war crimes overseas. (Truth is the quality of living in the US is great and extremely progressive compared to most of the world, because of the US’ politics. I had analyzed this in a previous post). But American leftists never mention that when it comes to THEIR case, because it doesn’t give them an advantage.
To tie it up with how American leftists see the world, there is youtuber I like, who is a US American woc and one time she said “My country is bombing Brown people” in an annoyed tone and it just sounded so offensive I closed the video. It’s obvious the youtuber doesn’t support the bombing, but it was just the phrasing which left a bitter taste in my mouth the whole day. It was the fact that 1) she could make a statement in an annoyed/joking tone 2) people in those countries don’t identify as “Brown” outside the US (and you are talking about them now) 3) your country is indeed bombing them so maybe at least categorize them as they wish?? They have a certain ethnicity, so mention that and stop categorizing them like dog breeds! They already have the bombs, do you want them to hear Americans categorize them like that?
Moreover, many US leftists think they care about other countries while, in actuality, they don’t. They just want to make other countries have the exact progressive US politics - because that’s the only “correct” political system they know. That shows even in kind of superficial matters. In a movie about Greek mythology, they will make sure there is an American Arab, an American Black person, an American East Asian person etc (which would be a cast that would reflect American diversity, not Mediterranean) and are hesitant to cast Greeks or ask Greeks how the portrayal of the story and figures could be better and respecting.
Another thing, they take everything too personally. They think success and failure of a movement is highly dependent on them as an individual. It’s difficult for them to approach a harsh past or present situation in a levelheaded manner because they don’t realize this situation has been universal. So, they feel a special kind of guilt and that makes them over apologetic but also overzealous (like a righteous self-flogging zealot) and that is what drives people away. They combine that behavior with ignorance about the rest of the world, and you can see why a non-US American might want to keep their distance.
I had some Americans apologizing to me because their ancestors did something to Greeks and just… don’t. I know you have the best intentions, but it makes everyone – even me – feel bad. There is no need for apologizing because 1) you and your family did nothing wrong 2) it was centuries ago 3) this bad shit happens/happened literally everywhere. You might as well apologize for your people knowing how to cook. It’s FINE, really, it’s FINE. For instance, do you think I have a grudge on YOUR people running a slave trade six centuries ago while there was dozen active slavetrades in the area, and while Greeks of the Byzantine empire probably bought slaves some decades before they were sold to slavery themselves? Do you see what a mess this is? Not only it doesn’t fix anything, but you also put unnecessary weight on yourself, as an individual. It’s fine to be aware and trying to fix past mistakes - if it’s possible - but there is a certain delicate process that must be followed. Not… whatever this is.
To continue on the extreme individualism, leftists think it's the end of the world if they have done or said something controversial (and that's also because they have cultivated a culture where any small transgression is a potential danger to the whole society :p aka "the left eats itself"). Around them people feel they must tread on eggshells just in case they phrase a thing wrong or post something that could be linked to a person the Left doesn't like.
The left is also on the extremes, so I have to put 1000 disclaimers every time I say something. (I guarantee that the example with the Chinese people will be translated by some Americans like “Theitsa promotes Asian hate!!”) Do you know who doesn't annoy me if I don't put 1000 disclaimers? Certainly not Conservatives. I had more harassment from leftists than I had from actual nazis, even though my blog is not conservative or (god forbid!!) supportive of nazism or any type of supremacy. Even nazis completely understand my beliefs before they send hate. (It might be odd but I never had one not understanding my point xD) But the leftists who sent hate misinterpret stuff, or they don’t bother reading actual posts. The funny thing is that I usually agree with these progressives in 99% of issues but they don’t care asking or learning, they just decide our morals are opposite. I mean they don’t have to like me, but many leftists don’t even read the basics.
On top of that, leftists rarely want to have a conversation with a conservative. I don't say go and AGREE with a conservative, I say just talk. (see? I feel the need to clarify here because many leftists might say “Theitsa wants us to go and AGREE with conservatives! Does Theitsa want us to become nazis and homophobes???”) How does one feel they have to be sooo righteous and then cauterize every member of society who disagrees with them? Why do leftists rarely want to have a conversation? Some people were ready to attack me for referencing a meme which referenced Steven Crowder, as if that shows I am his supporter 😩 (Guilty by association is strong on the leftist side and it’s very reminiscent of authoritarian tactics, another thing that needs to be improved, to my opinion.)
I don’t support Crowder (I know Crowder has done awful stuff) but I shouldn’t be scared to admit I like the “change my mind” episodes. (Flash news, leftists, you might like a part from a person’s work and not 100% support that person!) I like the episodes because both sides are heard, the conversation is civil (for the most part xD) and I can see the thought process of the two speakers as they explain their worries and what solutions are out there.
Most of all, in those episodes I see how BOTH sides CARE about the SAME problems, it’s just the perspectives that differ. And those conversations highlight the issues the left hasn’t studied very well, so it helps the leftists understand what they need to learn in order to better society. But where the “immaturity“ of the leftist side can show is in the unwillingness to approach the “opponent“ as a human just like them.
(They might instead prefer to call Mexicans white supremacists and claim that “whiteness” has no color because quite a few poc voted Republican, as some leftist news sources have stated)
What is more, is it just my idea or conservatives understand leftists better than leftists understand conservatives? Of course both sides jokes about the other one but I am talking about the serious talks. Leftists just describe conservatives as horrible people who want all minorities to perish and we must not talk to them while, surprisingly, the conservatives are the ones who stereotype less the opposite side. (I am talking about the normal, moderate people). From what I have seen, most simple people who are conservatives DON’T want the US’ ethnic and sexual minorities to perish. They are worried about problems they don’t have a good understanding about. And the only way to make them understand it’s to… talk to them, show them what good the left to offer.
Some leftists think conversation is “emotional labor” but 1) that applies to actual labor as in… jobs, so stop invalidating doctors, nurses, teachers etc, 2) yeah, sorry, sometimes things get difficult and you have to explain your side. (As non US-Americans endlessly have to do for US-Americans). That was, is and will be life until the sun swallows us all. You can’t be THAT militant on social media with 100 posts per day and remembering 50 different campaigns about social issues but the moment someone genuinely asks you for directions on your side you shut them off with “why do you demand labor from me? Do your own research” (hint: most likely they have done their research, but they are stuck, and you don’t help them like this).
If you are very tired and don’t want to explain (as it is your right) you can be polite about it and not blame the individual about their circumstances when they are trying to learn. If you DO want to explain but you get tired, be more organized. Have posts and F.A.Q.s ready, or send them to someone else (a friend, a blog, a youtube channel, an article, whatever). Instead of leftists arguing their positions, sometimes they are like “Do more research and realize I am right.” Yyyeah the other person is not gonna do that – especially because you haven’t pointed them anywhere or supported your position with arguments. Moreover, leftists can have the attitude of “I stand for PROGRESS, how can I ever be wrong??” Weeell things are not black and white and me, you, everyone has the potential to not have a not that beneficial to society position at some issues no matter where we stand on the political compass.
For the “petty whiny children” thing, I believe a lot of people might think that because the youth is usually making noise about progressive issues on social media. It’s true that oftentimes in social media discussions their emotions get the best of them (it’s happened to everyone) but combined with the lack of life experience they may have about the world, the argument sounds silly. (I heard one leftist university student say that the US shouldn’t have borders because borders are bad but then they realized they don’t want people to come and go as they please in the US, so she said there should be SNIPERS in the borders to shot everyone who tries to get in…….)
And, as I mentioned, the leftists are very quick to cancel and attack for the slightest transgression so people prefer to deal with the conservatives who can, at least, take a slight misstep, than meddling with people who are going to cancel them for doing or not doing a small, insignificant, but not ‘woke enough’ thing. Leftists are constantly checking each other to see if they are doing better and better (even in silly issues) and that can be intimidating to someone who is new to politics.
Some leftists get REALLY turned on by righteousness (Frollo villain style) and instead of trying to unite the society, they aim to divide it further. They don’t want to create bridges but burn them and find themselves on the “right side“ of morals.
And, last but not least, they don’t realize leftist propaganda is a thing. Malicious people are EVERYWHERE and they don’t just magically avoid the left. Leftists are not automatically super virtuous people. There are some manipulators and bullies around, so one has to be cautious even with leftist sources. (Cross-examine stuff, always. You might have the best intentions but accidentally share something nonfactual because you trusted a source).
Ok that was all, I think. To anyone who comments, PLEASE keep the tones down, have a conversation, take it slow, remember it doesn’t help us being hateful towards each other. (And causing serious friction wasn’t the purpose of this post). Oh, and if you need a clarification on something I said, before gossiping with your friends about how awful I am, do me the courtesy of first asking me what I meant xD
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in too deep ☼ knj
☼ dedication: this fic is a bday present for the loml tay aka tay bay bay aka @interludemoonchild!!!! luv u long time <33 (sorry this isn’t about hobi skksksks)
☼ pairing: marine biologist namjoon x assistant reader
☼ genre: idiots to lovers, fluff, angst, crack
☼ summary: you had always grown up being told tales of terrible jobs with tyrannical bosses. but now, you’re left to wonder why you hadn’t heard more tragic stories of all-too-wonderful jobs with all-too-beautiful bosses... did falling for your boss only lead to heartbreak and a two weeks’ notice? or could it yield the possibility of romance?
☼ word count: 3.1k
☼ warnings: pg15, cursing, chaotic energy, pining, miscommunication, mentions of quitting, lots of sea nerd stuff, namjoon is smart af but an idiot in love, the reader isn’t any better, crabby bois, arguments, completely cheesy fluff, short make out sesh, mention of sex
☼ banner creator: heathy bby @shadowsremedy
☼ beta reader: the amazing and astoundingly talented phia @meowxyoong
“Kim Namjoon!” You cry, swatting the blue-clawed crab away from your feet with a broom, “What did I tell you about bringing your goddamn crustaceans into the office?”
The man in question hustles out of his office looking disheveled, “You’ve seen Carl?” He sinks right down to his hands and knees to peer under your desk. “I’ve been looking everywhere for you, little buddy!”
You stare disappointedly as your boss picks up ‘Carl’ from his hiding place and cradles him to his chest. “Namjoon,” You sigh exasperatedly, folding your arms.
He looks up at you and blushes, “Sorry, Star. I just feel so bad leaving them downstairs at the lab. It’s so lonely and dark down there.”
While your stomach flips at the mention of his nickname for you, your eyebrows furrow in confusion, “Well, why don’t you just stay down there with them?”
“Because you’re up here…” He mumbles something incoherent.
“What?” You lean forwards, your ears straining to catch the garbled syllables.
Namjoon clears his throat, looking everywhere but at you, “Because it’s nicer up here.”
“Don’t tell your investors that,” You laugh, thinking of all the fancy and shiny equipment housed in the aquatics lab a few floors below. Working for a top-tier marine biologist sure had its perks - namely the state of the art kitchen with a full espresso bar.
“Star, I would never!” He looks affronted by the mere mention of such a thing. “Now, apologize to Carl for scaring him.”
You scoff, but just one glance into Namjoon’s sparkling brown eyes makes you crumble instantly. “Fine,” You begrudgingly shoot the crab a look, “Sorry, Carl.”
“See, Carl?” Namjoon croons, “She’s sorry!” As he turns back to you, you can immediately tell he is about to launch into Marine Biologist Mode™.
“Carl is a blue crab - a Callinectes sapidus, to be precise. That scientific name literally means ‘savory beautiful swimmer’.”
“Savory, huh?” You quip, relishing in the scandalized look Namjoon shoots you.
“Don’t listen to her, Carl,” He whispers, stroking a finger gently down the crab’s shell. “Now, where was I? Ah, yes… He’s named for his pretty sapphire-tinted claws, and he’s one of the most harvested species of his kind. So, don’t even think about it.”
You burst out laughing as he eyes you, “Okay, Joon, I’ll leave my pot of boiling water at home.”
Namjoon splutters out a choked laugh, looking at you like you are the most exasperating thing he’s ever come across. And, you probably are.
When you came to work for the distinguished marine biologist four months ago, you found him literally buried beneath piles of research papers, files, and National Geographic magazines. Apparently, he had tripped into his filing cabinet and everything had fallen off of the shelves onto him. The man had been a right mess. It was no wonder he had put an ad out in search of an assistant.
In your new role, you slowly but surely introduced some structure and organization into Namjoon’s life as best you could. The first thing you did was update his office. The man still had an honest to god lava lamp on his desk. You were still baffled at how he had managed not to break the fixture before your arrival.
Swiftly following the disposal of the cursed lava lamp, you ordered new file cabinets - and had them nailed to the wall. Virtually, you did even more. You restructured his online platforms and updated his schedule to include more than just scattered notes like “Meeting at 10AM, i think? Or was it 10PM?”
To his credit, Namjoon adhered to most of your suggestions and changes, but apparently he still refused to grasp the ‘no creatures in the office’ rule.
Overall, Namjoon was a great boss - kind, understanding, sweet, and a tad eccentric. His love for all things sea-related shone through the gentle way he handled his specimens, the passionate tone of voice he used while speaking on any related topic, and the stars in his eyes at the mere mention of discovering a new species.
It had been all too easy to become infatuated with him. Especially when he called you “Star” and left you to interpret the meaning on your own.
You remember the exact moment that you fell in love with him so vividly. It had been last month, just three months into working for him. Namjoon had been going off about fucking sand of all things.
“…Sand speaks of history, of science, of travels. Each grain of sand holds thousands upon thousands of years of movement, of erosion. For example, the beach outside of this building is tan because of the iron oxide tinting the quartz and the feldspar to a light brown color. But, there are other beaches that are black, white and even pink in color! It’s fascinating! And to quote the goddess of marine biology Rachel Carson: "In every curving beach, in every grain of sand, there is a story of the Earth…”
Yeah, you are head over heels for your boss. And that’s why you needed to quit.
The end of the workday arrives too quickly - a common theme it seems when you love what you do and who you work for. Namjoon walks beside you down to the parking lot. You sneak a glance at his face and note that he seems deep in thought.
Your mind slips to the image of you and Namjoon going home together to a shared house overrun with fish tanks and models of sharks. It’s all too easy to picture, and all too painful to acknowledge the impossibility.
“Star,” Namjoon’s voice jolts you from your fantasy. You blink up at him, realizing you’re both stopped beside your adjacent cars. Namjoon smiles at you, “I’ll see you tomorrow? It’ll be Friday, finally...”
It seems like he wants to say more but stops himself for some reason. You pause, waiting for him to continue, but he just blushes and brings a hand to the back of his neck bashfully.
“Yeah, Friday,” Your tone is less enthusiastic. You planned to hand in your two weeks’ notice tomorrow. It’s a complete strategy on your part so that you can have the whole weekend to cry and shove at least one gallon of ice cream down your throat.
You wave goodbye to each other and enter your respective cars. You watch Namjoon pull out of the parking lot before you and pause to rest your forehead on your steering wheel. You were so screwed.
Twenty-four exhausting hours later, you find yourself with your fist poised over Namjoon’s wooden office door. Are you actually doing this? Are you really going to quit the only job you’d ever loved?
Yes, you are. You love Namjoon too much to stay here surrounded by his charisma and his beauty. You love him too much to try to complicate his workspace, his sacred ground. You love him too much to ask him to blur the lines of colleague and lover.
You need to leave - for his sake and for yours. It isn’t like he still needs you. He has been following your routine with vigor and always keeps his office organized now. Your tasks have been dwindling for weeks.
It’s time to move on. God, even the tension today had been off the charts with you and Namjoon skirting around each other like you were both walking on eggshells. Clearly, he is also feeling like you are in the way.
With that in mind, you straighten your shoulders and finally knock on the door.
Your ears strain for any sign of an answer. Your breath catches in your throat as you try to sustain the meager amount of courage you had mustered up inside you. Twisting open the handle, you push the door open and are immediately met with an empty office. Damn, he must be downstairs.
You chuckle at the sheer idiocy of your panicked state over knocking on an empty office door.
This is perfect anyways. You can hand Namjoon your two weeks’ and then evacuate the building in one sweep. Shutting down your computer and grabbing your things, you trudge out of the room and towards the stairs.
The journey downwards seems akin to walking the plank as you take each step slowly, dreading the inevitable.
Ciara has it all wrong: you do not love it when you One, Two Step.
The entrance to the lab looms overhead. The steel double doors look more like the gateway to hell rather than a nice entrance to a marine facility. You don’t break your stride as you march through the doors. If you had, you might not have kept going.
The familiar light humming of the tank filters meets your ears as you peer around the rows of shelves containing colorful fish and scuttling critters.
“Joon?” You call, the nickname slipping past your lips before you can stop it.
“Back here, Star!” His answer sounds from the very back of the lab. Of course, that’s where the crabs are housed.
You make your way past the tanks of clownfish and the pools of stingrays to where Namjoon sits hunched over the shallow tank containing four green-tinted crabs.
“That’s it, Nala.” Namjoon croons as the smallest of the four crabs swims around the tank, “You show your brothers how fast you are.”
“Talking to your subjects again, boss?” You can’t help but tease the man you've grown to love as he fawns over his work.
Namjoon blushes slightly and nods, pushing his glasses up to rest on the bridge of his nose, “Studies have shown that it helps them develop.”
“I thought that was humans?” You say, shifting your weight back and forth. The letter in your hand seems to burn more each second you hold onto it. You couldn't take it anymore.
As Namjoon opens his mouth to reply, you thrust the letter into his chest and say, “Never mind. This is for you. Please read it later.”
With that, you fast-walk your way back to the entrance of the lab. The sound of the envelope tearing open only forces you faster. Fuck, it had been idiotic of you to assume that he would actually listen to you and open it later. Namjoon is as impatient as they come. Of course he wouldn't wait.
“Star!” His strangled call startles you, “What is this?”
“We can talk about it on Monday!” You reply, somehow already close to tears. Why is this godforsaken lab so big? You pace down the aisles of tanks and breathe a sigh of relief as the exit comes into view.
Then, Namjoon comes barreling around the corner, cutting off your escape. The man looks baffled as he clutches your written resignation in his hands. His chest heaves as he holds the torn pages out towards you, “What. Is. This. Star?”
You bristle. I guess we’re doing this now, you thought. Stiffening your shoulders, you muster all the false bravado you can manage, “It’s my two weeks’ notice, Namjoon. I’m sure a smart guy like you can read.”
“Okay, allow me to rephrase,” Namjoon stalks towards you, tossing the crumpled letter over his shoulder. “Why did you give me this?”
“The letter explains everything,” Your eyes dart around, both in search of a viable escape and in avoidance of his intensity.
“Sure it does,” He scoffs, his eyes blazing with disbelief. “I want to hear it from you.”
Your back hits the cool glass of the tank behind you. You’re trapped between the contrasting temperatures of the water and Namjoon’s body.
“Joon,” Your voice shakes, “You don’t need me anymore. You’ve done everything I've asked of you and then some. You’re organized. You’re on time. You’re put together. I barely have enough tasks now to fill a day, let alone a week. It’s time to move on.”
“Time to move on?” Namjoon echoes before barking out a humorless laugh, “I don’t need you anymore? That’s really what you think, Star?”
“Don’t call me that.” The nickname snufs out any trace of fight left inside you, and you plead, “Just let me go, Joon.”
“Never,” He growls.
“I don’t understand what you’re not getting,” You sigh, exasperated and drained, “You’ve surpassed my expectations and erased the need for my position. I think the saying ‘the student has become the master’ applies here.”
Namjoon gapes at you before he snaps, “You’re the one who’s not getting it! Have you ever considered that the student might just be in love with the teacher?”
Joon rakes a hand through his hair as you become the one to gape open mouthed at the frustrated man.
He continues, “I wake up earlier every damn day because I can’t wait to see you at work. I organize all of my things because I just want to see you smile at me when you notice. I spend an hour each night picking out what to wear the next day because I want to impress you… Don’t you see? Everything I do is for you, is because of you. I want to be the best version of myself for you.”
Your mind struggles to compute the seemingly impossible notion that the object of your affections returns your love. “Did you,” You gasp out, “Just say that you loved me?”
“Yes, you complete jellyfish! I love you. I am in love with you! And it’s not like it’s not obvious! I call you ‘Star’ because you are my starfish, my sea star. You are the one who keeps the balance to my ecosystem of chaos. You are the key species that keeps everything afloat.”
“And you thought that was obvious?” You yell back at him, “How on earth would I immediately have known the intense analysis behind your nickname for me, Namjoon the science buffoon?” You huff, scrambling to process the amount of information that had just been thrown at you.
He needed you?
He loved you back?
He nicknamed you after a fucking marine invertebrate?!
Namjoon blinks in surprise, “Did you just insult me with a Bill Nye pun?” You don’t deign to give him a response. Namjoon chuckles before grinning sheepishly, “Okay, fine. You make a good point.”
“I know I do,” You pout. “You can’t just spring this on me, Joon. Why haven't you told me this before?”
“Because I was nervous that you would leave me, that you wouldn't return my feelings. Obviously, the first point is moot. What about the second?”
“You’re asking if I love you back?” Your body sags against the tank behind you, “How could I not, you crab-loving, walking mess of a—”
Namjoon captures your mouth with his, kissing you with fervor. His hands wind their way up to cradle your face between them like you are the most precious thing to him.
Pulling back slightly, Namjoon rasps out, “So, you’ll stay?”
“Hm, I don’t know,” You crack a wry smile, “What’s in it for me?”
“Well, let me show you,” Namjoon replies before whipping his shirt off. You gape open mouthed at the expanse of beautiful tan skin in front of you.
Was that a hint of a tattoo swirling over his left shoulder?
He reaches down to tug at the hem of your dress, insinuating he wants it off. A nice concept in theory; however, with one look around at your surroundings, you slap his hand away. “Namjoon! Not in front of the fish!”
“But, Star, these aren’t fish! These are squid, and they are classed as cephalopods—”
You put a hand over his mouth, “Allow me to clarify: I will only fuck in a creature-free zone.”
Namjoon murmurs something beneath your palm. You give him a warning look before removing your hand. He immediately repeats himself, “My office?”
Your eyes narrow, “I know for a fact you have at least three crabs in there.”
Namjoon pauses, looking suspiciously shifty, “There are only seven…”
You wait for it.
“...teen.” He finishes.
“Kim Namjoon!”
Two Years Later
The short walk down the aisle ends too quickly as you find yourself standing in front of a teary-eyed Namjoon. Five of his friends stand behind him in a row, while the sixth stands proudly as the officiant.
They really are out here looking like a whole boy band, you muse. But, you only have eyes for their leader.
Namjoon stands before you, all tall and handsome in his tux; and as Officiant Jin™ begins the ceremony, you can't help but wonder how you got so lucky.
Finally, the ring exchange is introduced dramatically by Seokjin who spouts something about circles and never ending love. “Let us now have the rings brought forward and presented by the ring-bearer!” He booms, raising his arms up like he is summoning a great force.
Ring-bearer? You rake your mind for a prior mention of a ring-bearer… You thought Yoongi as the best man would have the rings.
Suddenly, Namjoon produces a silver whistle from his pocket and blows it once. You stare at your soon-to-be husband like he has sprouted another head.
And then you hear it: the sound of legs and claws scuttling across the floor towards the altar.
“Tell me that is not what I think it is,” You whisper-yell over to Namjoon, who looks way too pleased for your liking.
Your fears and exasperations come true as Namjoon swoops down to pick up Carl who has two shiny rings tied to his shell with a ribbon.
“Oh, Kim Namjoon,” You sigh as you watch him remove the rings from Carl and hand the crab off to a disgruntled Taehyung, “What am I going to do with you?”
“You’re going to marry me,” Namjoon grins.
And marry him you did.
a/n: jellyfish have no brains, lolz. idk why making joon call the reader a jellyfish made me crack tf up but IT DID.
© luxekook. please do not repost, modify, edit or translate.
#bangtanhq#ficswithluv#btswriterscollective#btswritingcafe#hyunglinenetwork#kwritersworldnet#bangtanarmynet#btsbookclub#btsnoonanet#hyungsmutsociety#maknaesmutsociety#bangtanscenery#kim namjoon x reader#namjoon x reader#knj x reader#bts#namjoon fanfic#bts fanfic#happy bday tay!!!!!
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𝐑𝐄𝐀𝐋𝐋𝐘 𝐋𝐎𝐍𝐆 𝐂𝐇𝐀𝐑𝐀𝐂𝐓𝐄𝐑 𝐒𝐔𝐑𝐕𝐄𝐘
BASICS. FULL NAME : Augustus Alexander Wang NICKNAME : August and Gus ( in general ), Auggie, Ice Prince, and Guggie ( by Aurora ). Aug and Lestat ( by Jack ), NAME MEANINGS : Augustus is Latin for the great / the magnificent. Alexander is also Latin and means defender of mankind. From what I know, Wang in Chinese means king. HISTORICAL CONNECTION ? : Though, his dad did think of the Roman Emperor Augustus when they named him, they liked the meaning. It seemed to fit him. They weren’t wrong, he was an emperor and he still has that energy. AGE : 22. Like Aurora, he can’t age past 22. He wouldn’t have minded either way. BIRTHDAY : 5th April ETHNIC GROUP : Augustus is half Korean and half Brazilian. NATIONALITY : British LANGUAGES : fluent in English and French. Conversational Latin. Broken Korean. Learning Urdu. SEXUAL ORIENTATION : demi-heterosexual ROMANTIC ORIENTATION : demi-heterosexual RELATIONSHIP STATUS : Single and doesn’t want to mingle. He had only one serious relationship in the past with Aurora Shams from 2017-2019. CLASS : Upper class, Wealthy but not private-jet kind of wealthy. HOME TOWN / AREA : London till he was 10 and Vancouver till he was 17 CURRENT HOME : Los Angeles PROFESSION : Drummer, songwriter, model, and student. PHYSICAL. HAIR : long and wavy. Chestnut brown. Here is an example. It goes down his earlobes in length. EYES : piercing, almond-shaped eyes. Naturally brown, but he wears blue or green contact lenses. NOSE : a Greek nose, straight without bumps. FACE : Oblong shaped, sharp and chiseled cheekbones, strong jaw. Masculine features. Example. LIPS : not full nor thin, heart shaped. COMPLEXION : pretty pale. Example is same as the face section. SCARS : one on his chest. TATTOOS : a very small ‘10/17′ on his left rib. PIERCINGS: earlobes HEIGHT : 6′5″ or 195cm. BUILD : Inverted triangle. Broad, tapered shoulders. Muscular. Defined, sculpted abs. Long limbs. Broad chest. He was naturally towards the muscular side with broad shoulders and chest. He’s never been on the skinny side. Example one and two USUAL HAIR STYLE : he lets his hair do their thing, he styles them a little, but he prefers a messier vibe. USUAL FACE LOOK : He looks generally bored. His eyes have a piercing look that seem to be drilling into the person before him. Like he can see right through you. There is an insolent smirk tugging at his lips like he thinks you’re amusing. Almost proud, like he thinks he is above you. There is depth and intensity in his eyes that stare skywards in thought. There is also mischievous, radiant glimmer in his eyes. USUAL CLOTHING : prince charming meets rockstar. Lots of jackets, darker colors, boots, necklaces and rings. Here is his wardrobe. PSYCHOLOGY. FEARS : claustrophobia and the fear of ending up alone. He always had this creeping feeling that he’d be alone in the end and that he was always meant to be alone. ASPIRATIONS : he doesn’t have any set aspirations. They change every now and then. However, his goals are just to keep his found family happy. POSITIVE TRAITS : extremely charismatic, intelligent, academic and studious, alluring and attractive, quick-witted, charming and captivating, articulate and eloquent, adventurous, desirable, analytical, brilliant, friendly, enthusiastic, adaptable, observant, kind, mellow, competent, extremely caring and protective over those closest to him, clever, loyal, clear-headed, confident, humorous, courageous, imaginative and creative, a visionary, refined tastes and manners, daring, dignified, ebullient, deep, remarkable, surprisingly he’s very forgiving, forthright, gallant, logical, gentlemanly and sophisticated, perfectionist, popular, self-reliant, shrewd, witty, suave, curious, and resourceful. NEGATIVE TRAITS : egocentric, self-obsessed, idle, indifferent, selfish, defiant, arrogant, argumentative, rebellious, kinda lazy, stubborn, distracted, doesn’t really care for morals, blunt, can appear insensitive a lot, is insensitive at times, no filters, can be cold for those he doesn’t care for, emotionally immature, deflects emotions, suppresses his feelings, sorta detached, kinda pessimistic, and unknowingly self-sacrificing because he thinks it’s fair and he deserves it. MBTI : ENTP ( Ne dominant, Ti auxiliary, Fe tertiary, and Si inferior — this means she can’t use Ni, Se, Te, and especially can’t use Fi). He perceives the world by connecting dots, thinking of never-ending possibilities, looking for pieces of a puzzle, and finding meaning ��in abstract. He makes judgments on if what he perceives fits his internal logic. ZODIAC : Aries sun, Gemini rising, Sagittarius moon. TEMPERAMENT : sanguine choleric ANIMALS : parrots and cats because they’re both intelligent but little pieces of shit who enjoy making your life hell. VICE : it’s either his ego or how he ends up detaching himself FAITH : currently, he’s Mu.slim. He was born protestant, became an atheist when he was 13, agnostic at 14. Bud.dhist at 15. Taoist at 16. Confucianist at 17. Mu.slim at 19. Doesn't practice it though. GHOSTS ? : yep.. AFTERLIFE ? : yep REINCARNATION ? : he guesses so. Went through it, but doesn’t remember. ALIENS ? : hell yeah. POLITICAL ALIGNMENT : liberal. ECONOMIC PREFERENCE : upper class or upper middle class is good with him. EDUCATION LEVEL : MSci in Physics from the University of Cambridge. Is opting to specialize in astrophysics soon. FAMILY. FATHER : Edward Wang, owner of a chain of fine dining restaurants MOTHER : Elisa Violeta Wang, psychiatrist, deceased STEP MOTHER : Chaeyoung Wang, lawyer. SIBLINGS : Cassandra Wang, athlete EXTENDED FAMILY : he is not close with his external family and doesn’t know his birth mother’s family at all. They never wanted him. FAVOURITES. BOOK : Crime and Punishment by Fyodor Dostoevsky, Galactic Dynamics by James Binney, Kafka on the Shore by Haruki Mukarami, Slaughter house Five by Kurt Vonnegut, War and Peace by Leo Tolstoy, and Lord of the Flies by William Golding. MOVIE : Scott Pilgrim vs The World 5 SONGS : All You Want - Dashboard Prophets, Tokyo Smoke - Cage the Elephant, Where is My Mind? - The Pixies, Sparks - Coldplay, Lithium - Nirvana, and Mr. Blue Sky - Electric Light Orchestra DEITY : none. Let him argue with one and ask for proof of their deity-ness. HOLIDAY : Halloween. It’s dramatic and fun. MONTH : October, because he met Aurora and Jack this month in 2017. SEASON : spring and summer. PLACE : he doesn’t have a specific place, but he prefers European architecture. WEATHER : cloudy and windy. Sunny if it isn’t too hot. SOUND : drums and percussions, the sound of aurora and jack’s laugh, guitars, violins, the sound of wind roaring, music boxes, and the clinking of bangles and jewelry. SCENTS : sage, rosemary, and damascus roses. TASTES : chocolate, strawberries, chilies, and fried food. FEELS : the feeling of hitting the drums, wind in his hair, the cold night air, warm morning sun, grass against his fingertips, silk, and touching long hair. ANIMALS : cats and dogs. NUMBER : 8 COLORS : white, cherry red, pink, maroon, wine red, black, and silver. EXTRA. TALENTS : he is an extremely talented drummer, good at guitar and the piano, he is talented at songwriting, composing music, he’s exceptionally good at mathematics and physics, analytical skills, storytelling, knows a lot of facts, near photographic memory because he remembers all important historical events with dates and details, academic writing, and brainstorming ideas. BAD AT : cooking, not very good at driving because he gets distracted, doing one task at a time, playing videogames, actually listening to what people say, being humble, and actually being a good leader. TURN ONS : this is a complicated question. He needs a very strong emotional connection to feel sexual attraction towards someone. And he only felt it for one person in his whole life. But, what sparked that attraction was a brilliant mind and the ability to connect with his mind on a very different level. It’s not going to repeat with anyone else. TURN OFFS : literally everyone else. He’s not sorry, but I am. HOBBIES : playing the drums, writing and composing songs, reading, solving problems, listening to music, watching shows, getting people to do weird shit, and annoying people. AESTHETIC : crowns, drums, broken drumming sticks, abstract art, the vast space, chess boards, album cases, thrones, the echoing sound of pianos, Greek sculptures, galaxies and nebulas, early morning sunrise through curtains, libraries, equations scribbled on napkins, empty museums, unmade white sheets, polaroid cameras, conspiracy theories, VHS tapes, antique books, cobblestone alleyways, night skies, cluttered books, calloused fingers, crumpled composition pages, guitar picks, vinyl, telescopes, and planets. Basically: abstract, chaotic academia, cryptid academia, dark academia, indie, kingcore, light academia, musical academia, science academia, spacecore, QUOTES : it’s weird but i can’t decide which one fits him. FC INFO. MAIN FC : victor han ALT FC : n/a. OLDER FC : he can’t age past 22, so he doesn’t need one. YOUNGER FC : none yet. VOICE CLAIM : both speaking and singing (his accent is posh British with a slight hint of Canadian) MUN QUESTIONS. Q1 : If you could write your character your way in their own movie , what would it be called , what style would it be filmed in, and what would it be about ? A1 : The same answer as Aurora, The Tale of Solis et Lunae that stars him alongside Aurora, Lunae, Jack, and Tate, plus more. A cosmic adventure / fantasy / coming of age / superhero / the reluctant hero / the chosen one. His role is of Aurora’s best friend and her greatest support in emotional and supernatural dangers. He is the time traveler who ascends time and space, so he often also gives her insight and information like the sage. It’ll expand across dimensions, worlds, and different states of existence. The scenes would be cinematic with a strong soundtrack. I imagine him to have some scenes like Quick Silver in the X-Men movies. Q2 : What would their soundtrack / score sound like ? A2 : He would have a 90s grunge or spacey dream rock sound. It ties in with the end of the last answer because i see him in one of those scenes with 90s grunge or maybe classical music ? Q3 : Why did you start writing this character ? A3 : I made Augustus just a bit before Aurora. They were a two part deal. I don’t know when it began, I just had this image of a tall, long haired boy with piercing, intelligent eyes who’s a smart-ass and likes being a know-it-all nuisance. This character has been the same since he began in 2019 and refused to change. He was always a drummer, he always had the same fashion sense, the look, Gus was always half-Korean, he always had long fingers he wore rings on, and he was always Aurora’s best friend/partner in crime. He remains unchanged and that's why I wanted to write him. This very vivid image of this boy was something I had to pen down. And just my luck, I found a fc who looks exactly how Gus looked in my head. Q4 : What first attracted you to this character ? A4 : Augustus is just extraordinary. It’s something I always felt about him and Aurora and I don’t see any of my other characters coming anywhere close to them regardless of how much I spent time on them. But with Augustus, his entire image and looks and personality — down to his wardrobe and jewelry was always so vivid in my head. Like I knew this very chaotically handsome boy who was going to turn the world upside down. His story is interesting, but what interests me more is his perspective on his story. The way he looks at his life and how he is quiet and doesn’t show his pain. How confused he always is. How much he aches but never seems so. The way he loves but doesn’t say even a quarter of the intensity he feels. And how sometimes he believes he deserves suffering because it makes sense to him. I also love the connections he makes and the way he loves so deeply and profoundly but underneath the surface. His connection, love, fears, and hopes with Aurora and Jack for their respective reasons are extremely beautiful. Q5 : Describe the biggest thing you dislike about your muse. ? A5 : Augustus is unknowingly self-sabotaging. He let go the only relationship / love in his life that made him feel like real love just because he thought he didn’t deserve it. And because when he was provoked, it made “sense” to him. He bottles his emotions and pain so much despite their intensity. He never shows how much he really cares and really hurts. And how sure he is that he’ll end up alone without friends and that it makes sense to him. Q6 : What do you have in common with your muse ? A6 : Here’s a fun answer, because I bottle my emotions like him. I also interact with the carefree way he does even if I don’t feel peachy. He’s smart and witty and really hot and I don’t even have that going on for me. So, yikes. Only of Gus’ bad things I share. Q7 : How does your muse feel about you ? A7 : Gus loves interacting with people so he’ll definitely show up to annoy me. Maybe, he might think I’m fun to annoy? Or maybe, we’ll have a similar sense of humor. I think he won’t dislike me. Not sure if he’ll like me. I think he’d think I’m funny in a strange sort of way. Q8 : What characters does your muse have interesting interactions with ? A8 : Aurora, first of all. They have this same brain wave-length thing going on where they’re partners in crime and bffs forever more. He knows how she is feeling and what she’s thinking even before she utters it. If she is about to sneeze, he’d get a tissue ready. He can tell if she is hungry or sleepy with one glance. She can do the same, so they sorta have this weird understanding of each other. Jack is this older brother figure Augustus loves. He won’t admit it, but he kinda wants to make Jack proud of him. He also wants to provide love and care to Jack that he thinks he deserves but never got. They’re his family now and he’ll never be alone or sad again. He annoys Jack a lot but behind it all, he just wants Jack to think he is needed and he belongs. That if he thinks Augustus is reliant on him, then he has this family he has to protect and care for. He can’t stand the thought of Jack feeling unloved, forgotten, alone. Tida is another one. There’s this great respect and adoration Gus has for him. Almost like he looks up to him in some ways He also has a lot of hopes and expectations attached. He feels Tida is everything that Gus himself lacks. He is the ideal boyfriend, kindest person, shows his emotions vividly, and is like a warm and cozy blanket personified. He is probably Tida and Aurora’s biggest supporter and first one to know. He can’t be happier than he is that Aurora found someone as good and perfect as Tida. Taewon is one really fun character. Their two-way frenemy jealousy spans over years and started in Cambridge when they were both in love with the same girl they claimed to be best friends with. Though, trying to be calm, Augustus was constantly provoked and hurt, made to feel inferior and constantly in fear of his relationship being broken by Taewon’s schemes that he couldn’t say out loud. This dark period ended with a fist fight and baggage of guilt they both carry to this day for hurting each other and the one they claimed to love. Today, they’re way past that and frenemies who have funny quips and arguments for each other. They say they dislike each other. But if the lighting is good, one would be the photographer of the other. Q9 : What gives you inspiration to write your muse ? A9 : Music helps me imagine scenes with perfect visual details. Any scenes from shows that remind me of my storylines. Q10 : How long did this take you to complete ? A10 : I don’t remember. It was many days and I didn’t count because it was in bits and pieces.
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Creation, Both Haunted and Holy - CHAPTER 2!
I’ve been working on this thing for weeks straight, to make it as amazing as possible!
As always, I am dragging @muffinlance‘s AUs into my work
this is the angsty one :) yUP, the year-old au!
and don’t worry, i have another one in progress... also using a muffinlance- inspired au- one of the more obscure ones, i think!
Mother Hama is. Suspiciously nice to write, and very angsty
TRIGGERS: Graphic-ish descriptions of wounds and child abuse! Please beware, my dudes! Things will get better soon, but this is really really bad right now!
LINK: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25578904
OR, READ HERE :)
In the moon’s light, an urutau-vulture screeches out its song, pure and eerie grief ringing out in the wind.
And that’s how Zuko’s mind briefly comes back to reality.
Awareness fading in and out with each breath he wheezes through.
With wakefulness, comes the purest of agonies. A mouth open, voice too hoarse to scream out for help.
The hot pain, all over him, the memories tugging at his head, the memories of-
The burning. A cleanse that felt so dirty, like-
Oh, the sheer smell of it-
Of him.
The smell of cooked meat is his.
He wheezes out a cough, remembers the time Mom had no servants to help her, and had asked Azula to light up the fire for them to cook.
He tries thrashing about, to get a good view.
Mom ought to be around there, around somewhere.
(Even if it’s been so long since she was last around.)
She must be there, somewhere he can’t see, maybe in the blurry shade of the trees. She will bring a bucket and cool water, and she will hold him and-
“W-Where’s mom?” he tries asking, to nothing, to no one.
But only one of his ears hear it, the raspy, damaged sound that he can hardly recognize as his own voice.
He tries to ask again, words broken, tear tracks he can only feel in one cheek.
The burning pain he struggles to breathe over.
He doesn’t know what happened, but he can’t move. Can’t do anything, nothing but begging for it to go away.
“Where?” his voice comes out, finally.
The pain in his throat finally registers with the blabbered words, and suddenly he feels like he’s been screaming for all too long.
I’m sorry, Larva, says the feeling of hands on him. I’m so sorry it came to this.
Ghostly hands that don’t quite hurt when they touch his left side.
There is no shadow to hold him, though.
He can’t remember what happened, but the questions come to his mind nonetheless.
Why does it hurt so much? Why is his arm numb, why can’t-
Go to sleep. I’ll keep you safe, little Vessel.
The voice is soft, warm.
And, as the moon sings her song, his brief moment of awareness fades off.
Only one eye closing, as he breathes out again.
Painful, laboral.
His last thought is that he hates it.
The tone in the voice.
It’s all too-
.
.
.
-
It’s in the way the moon sings, as the boy’s skin peels off.
It’s in the way he doesn’t let any infection set in.
Scabbing away as the days pass, as Vaatu tries to heal him.
But there’s a reason the two of them were together. Glued, some might say.
Possessed, united fully.
He is part of Zuko, he is his mind and he is confined, locked away from seeking any further help. Not while the boy is that hurt, not while he can’t be awake and alive on his own.
Were it not a tragedy of occasion, his tendency to lock himself in the tiniest confides would be quite entertaining to watch.
Maybe, were it not happening to him, of all creatures.
Truly, he has been reduced to cowering on corners, to being not much more than a shadow.
Was it selfish, to wish for freedom when he had given it up to save his Vessel?
The two of them had done it.
An Avatar State of their own volition.
A sacrilege against the nature of a human body, a way to twist and bend their souls, braided together into a necklace of rope.
He doesn’t want to tell his boy what happened.
What the two of them had done.
He was too young to know what their purpose really was.
What would happen next, once he managed to get Zuko awake for more than a few minutes, enough time for them to scavenge, to do anything?
But keeping him awake, at that moment, would be nothing short of insane.
Yes, he must change. But this is too painful. Vaatu can feel the pulsing, the infection begging to seep in, to eat away at their flesh.
The way the dead limb hangs limply, charred black. The way the damaged leg attracts flies, like a plate of fruit slathered in honey, only kept away by him.
Blisters that look like they could open into eyes, watch the world for them all.
And so, Vaatu brushes off the sickness, scares away the vermin.
Lets his presence seep through, for nothing can keep him from affecting the world, not even being tied so deeply to his vessel.
The woods grow around them, thick foliage, colorful flowers in the vines.
No other spirit to bless or curse them.
Just the lonesome pocket of the world to which Vaatu and his Vessel have gone.
He is the eye of the shadow, the chaos that lurks deep in that tiny, undisturbed piece of the world.
He is a warning to the creatures.
He warns the world to stay away, lest it feel his disruption. His returning strength, his effect on the world around them finally taking place again.
Now that they are united, he can see that they could easily become unstoppable.
Rotting limbs thrown into any position, blackened flesh still smelling like it's been cooked.
The way it all brews in the two of them is nauseating.
The sickness is in the bursts of consciousness, when the one eye that can close opens up, blurry from tears.
When his head faces up and he sobs, lonesome and in pain.
Vaatu tries keeping the pain at bay, even if just by lulling him to bed.
Their vengeance is yet to be completed.
Disaster will strike again, he will make sure of it.
He tries telling, he tries consoling.
We will come back, he says. Rest for now, their fate is incoming.
But he is just a voice in his head, the feeling of a ghost-limb that can't really pull back hair, brush away feverish sweat.
Even if their Vessel is growing more powerful, Vaatu feels as weak as he can be.
But, as consciousness slips away again, he can’t help but notice the way the world is shifting around them.
The way the rabbit-mice has started chasing the otter-fox.
It is a victory, but it feels wrong.
-
Unsteady feet, weight put all into one as Zuko drags himself up.
The pain is hot and hard, it almost drives away the overwhelming hunger.
He didn’t think it could get that bad.
It could be worse, Vaatu says, but his voice still sounds angry.
Maybe not at him, but angry nonetheless.
(Angry like-)
When coherency slips away from his mind, when the pain is too much, as each of his slow, measured hops grows more and more exhaustive, he feels something in him beg for destruction.
But he won’t.
In the same way that Vaatu won’t bring him food, in the same way he will stay quiet, never saying a word of what happened to him.
Zuko wants to proclaim that he isn’t forgiven, but for the moment, his focus is on the steps.
Barely more than hops, as his one useful hand hangs onto trees.
Bare feet, grass scratching up against the angry, still-bleeding skin.
The question is pressing, rubbing against the back of his mind, as he cries out and whines, intense pain barely dimmed.
How is he alive?
All firebenders are taught about the sheer power of their fire, about the great deeds and prowesses they can achieve.
About how much damage they can inflict upon their enemies, when they chose not to end their suffering.
It should be infected.
I am trying not to let that happen, Vaatu whispers in his head, like it's a secret, like saying it out loud will destroy their chances of it getting any better.
He isn’t moving in the shadow.
“The left side feels green.” he says, barely noticing he’s speaking at all.
Sunlight streams in through the gaps in the foliage. The moon is going to rise up soon, and the world is orange and it all feels green.
Find help, the voice instructs. You need someone to help you.
“First, food.” he argues, hearing the rumbling of his stomach. “I mean- Where there is food, there are people.”
You make a surprisingly decent point, he says, and there ought to be some farmhouses around here.
Zuko shudders.
People watched back there, people saw his shame burned into skin, his last rite of passage.
His whining sounds pitiful to his own head, but he can’t make his mouth shut up.
Involuntary sounds, flinches and shudders, as he drifts through.
Tall grass scraping against his wound, every touch sending new jolts of it.
The gentle breeze, the falling petals of flowers, blown away by the wind.
All so gentle. The kind pulsing of the world’s fiery heart, a piece of peace in the battlefield of its little nations.
And all so, so very painful.
Maybe this tells more than it shows, but pain is hard to show through words, hard to show through barely coherent thoughts, by the mind of a child who had never been through such great agony before.
A bad leg that can’t sustain his weight much longer.
Tiny complaints amidst panting.
He feels like he is the only source of noise. The world is eerily still.
Holding its breath.
Zuko shudders, tree bark scraping at tiny hands.
He looks down on himself.
A foot half-blackened. White and violent red, all blistered and-
Cooked. Broken.
Zuko doesn’t look at his left arm.
He is all too broken, all too destroyed by the time he’s been through.
You aren’t, says the voice.
Scabs that peel away too easily, like they were never meant to form.
Droplets of blood calling for any animal. He is prey, and the world is so, so very much now.
The disorganization of the world doesn’t manage to feel quite right, quite how it should be.
Like someone’s disrupted it before, like they’ve re-organized the world into something it shouldn’t be.
Something hangs in the air, hidden but never overshadowed by the smell of his tracks.
Yes, deliberate.
They’re onto something, he realizes.
A pike of wood, somewhere from which a scarecrow once stood.
“A garden.” he says. “I think we’ve found a garden.”
Purring at the back of his head, his blurry eye half-focusing around him.
A bush at the entrance.
Calling to him.
Food.
It has to be food.
Overtaken by hunger, he can only see them.
The rest of the garden is just carrots, little beets and a cabbage or two.
Nothing that looks that sweet.
And so, Zuko drops down, hisses in pain and twitches about, before grabbing a handful of berries in his one hand.
Vaatu takes a minute too long to realize they’re the kind used to make rat poison.
-
Her abode is a humble one.
A tiny inn she’s set up, rooms rarely occupied.
Of course, she has other places for travelers to sleep in.
It’s her lair, made of damp wood, of floorboards that creak comfortably under her old feet. Of roofs that leak, of the smell of a harmless old person.
She has a thousand little closets, a million nooks and crannies.
Hidden memorabilia, memories she’s carved back up for herself.
All wheatered by rain and by soot, but kept clean and tidy, far away from the fire.
She didn’t have many clients, but she had more than enough time to tend to the ones she had.
And so she did, for a time.
She kept herself satisfied, working towards her goals day in and out.
Followed through with a routine, day in and day out. Cooked plenty for herself, made sure she had the energy to follow through with her tasks.
That night, she can feel the full moon.
A welcome presence above her, making the world pulse with her divinity.
She has blessed the woman with her presence, and so, that night, she will go…
Watch the moon.
It’s a nice way to talk about the indulgence in her favourite of all things.
When she can make the world malleable around her, when she can dance and sing, pulling at the strings that bind the world together.
She smiles, feels it pull at her eyes.
That night will be formidable, she thinks
With finality, she treks along.
Yet, she doesn’t feel alone.
How can she, when the full moon rises, making the world finally feel alive again?
The leaves crackling under her feet as she strides, the roots and branches snapping under her like she is a mighty beast.
Remainders of the sun’s warmth slowly seeping out, Tui taking her rightful place in the throne of the sky.
Her court of stars, rising slow and steady in its march.
And the world is silent around her. She knows it ought to be gawking at her, the last of her kind.
“Oh?” comes out of her mouth, before she can even stop herself.
An ear strained out.
“What is that…” she tsk-s in amusement, looks around with a half-absent mind.
Just what poor creature dares it, to choke in her garden, to foam over the leaves of her poison, to die in Hama’s territory?
-
Wakefulness comes slowly.
His brow furrows in confusion, only half his vision able to focus.
But he doesn’t need to.
All Zuko sees is darkness.
He shivers, suddenly hit with the sheer cold of the room.
It's eerie.
He doesn’t know where he is.
He lashes out, trashes about.
His feet burn. Tied together with rope.
There are no windows, the space cramped. The sickeningly sweet smell of mold, the only sound meeting his ears, his own panting.
Like a piece of bread that’s been left hanging around for all too long.
Something is wrong.
It’s in the way his tongue feels garbled when he tries to talk, it’s in the way he can’t quite move.
It’s in the involuntary twitching of a dead limb, that he can’t stop, even when it hurts.
He can’t sit up, wouldn’t even if the dizziness would let him.
Vessel, are you okay? comes to his head.
Why didn’t you stop me, he tries asking. Where are we? Why are we here?
There are no little hands in the shadows, no feeling of a ghost hand touching him.
But the pain is dulled, pushed back.
Cloaked.
“Where am I?” he looks around. “Va-Voice, where are we?”
Someone brought us here, Larva. Get up, I’m curious.
“Then move on your own.” he spits. “I’m tied up. Stupid.”
Regret makes him shake his head, but Vaatu is too old to hold up a grudge.
I can’t. We are united now, Larva. We are one in the same, and wherever you go, I go too.
“Chained?” he remembers. Like he is. Stuck, chained.
Chained. But fret not, my Larva, for stagnation will not come back to us. For now, though, you shall recover your energies.
A groan, as he lifts his hand, swipes a bug from his brow.
You sound like Uncle goes unsaid, but leaves the taste of bile on his mouth nonetheless.
Shudders, head shakes. The feeling of strands of patchy hair brushing against his shoulder.
He may not be alone, but there's no armor, no protection.
Zuko shivers, suddenly cold.
A part of him would give anything for that surge of power, for the feeling of the elements at his will, ready to be summoned up, to be harnessed and used as he deems fit.
For anything that can protect him, even with the collateral damage.
He can’t do anything, but he struggles to turn to his side nonetheless, to crawl out of the pile of rags that was his bed.
He can’t get up, so he drags his body along, pulls it slowly.
A trail of blood from his left side, scraped against the floorboards.
Dragged by his hand, whining and growling.
He can’t untie himself, no matter how much he tries.
Some kind of different knot - intricate, woven tight.
Vaatu guides him slowly, words that barely register to his mind.
Nausea, the feeling of ants crawling at the tips of his fingers as he drags himself to the door.
Get to the door - away from the fabric, it burns too easily - and then you can burn through the rope.
And suddenly, he wants to scream.
“I’m not burning myself. Shut up!” he plops onto his right side, drool pooling at the left corner of his mouth.
Beyond his control.
You know how to control the heat. It wouldn’t hurt. It's like pulling a bandage.
“Shut up.” he tries screaming, but his voice comes off hoarse.
… I apologize. I understand your fear, Vessel.
“I’m not forgiving you.”
I won’t let you stagnate for long, but feel free to stand your ground for a few more days.
“I’ll give you a week.” A bit of snark, that comes off soft.
A dry chuckle that breaks through the darkness.
He rolls his eyes, but can’t bring a smile up. He knows it would hurt. It would sting on his face, it would pull at the burns.
He reaches the door, struggles onto his knees, pulls at the handle.
Rattled, shaken, pulled and pushed with the feeblest of strengths.
Breaths growing quicker, as the weight of what he had done sets onto his shoulders.
Oh, what he did-
You should’ve eaten your vegetables, comes out as a light-hearted attempt, falling so very short.
“Shut up.” he wants to yell, because he’s locked in a strange home and oh Agni-
It’s dawning on him, slowly and steadily, just what he did.
Just what happened.
He hurt them.
(He did much worse.)
Falls to the floor. Looks at his one hand.
Now only one. Covered with little burns, old marks of his failures set onto his wrists. Little reminders of hands that were once there.
His breath, puffing out as smoke in the dark, cold room.
And suddenly, tears are falling down onto his hand.
(Father did that.)
No voice to comfort him. Nothing but the oppressiveness of his lonesome state.
Zuko wants to drown in tears, but his left eye refuses to cry, his bony body refuses to shake with sobs just yet.
So he just shrinks in there, holds himself close through the pain, pretends someone else is there to hold him.
"W-why?" He asks, feeling only half of his mouth move.
Words coming out garbled, blabbered through tears.
No answer comes, and he feels all alone.
He is a big boy, he wants to remind himself.
A big boy indeed, and that's why he cries and cries and cries, ignoring how the hollow place of the moon is soon filled by Agni’s eye.
-
The walks back home tend to be a less than exciting ordeal.
Oh, of course there's glee. Catharsis, even.
But lately, there’s some more than that. There’s the weight of the years on her shoulders, the soreness on her legs, the ache engraved deep into her bones.
That’s the vengeance of her people, of the men and women slain, torn down from the inside, overtaken by insanity.
She was meant to do it. It was why the art had come to her, it was why she had mastered it.
To bring down the rain of vengeance.
Nonetheless, that particular walk was made through with a quicker step, with a less vengeful head.
She had spent so long hurting, and the ones who hurt were the ones who learned how to heal the best.
She knew where to make it ache, and she had studied plenty of how to heal before.
(Kanna and her, studying scrolls that would be burned less than a day later, until late at the night.
Listening to the tribe's men sing and dance around the campfire, laughing and betting. Rolling their eyes, t hey healed eachother with little kisses by the moonlight, as Hama listened to Tui's song, to the calling of the full moon.
And with her friend's mittened hand in hers, she closed her eyes and felt the warm pulse of a world suddenly coming to life.
In the night's light, the cold wind whipping against their warm bodies, they danced together.
A dance that would soon turn into brisk movements, into desperate jabs.
But, at the moment and to that very day, the times before were painted with a rose-tinted glass.)
What mattered was that she had a patient, someone hurt as badly as she once was.
A son of ash and soot, a child with an eye burned open, blinded but still moving.
A child whose mere existence, whose life was astounding to her. How could that little thing keep going, how could he crawl to her and lay by her grassbed?
A little creature that proved her either insane or lucky enough to have a spirit in her hands.
He was going to be useful, she had decided when she found him foaming at the mouth, turning and twisting, rubbing dirt all over the open wound.
She’d cleaned him up, she had left him a nice little room, for an ashmaker that had yet to pay her back.
He would be grateful, that was certain.
And she’d seen first hand, how gratitude could destroy a man. Break down his flesh, make him bow and worship like a dog.
(She'd stood, suspended in her cell, watching an affair below.
The guard with bright yellow eyes, a glint like that of golden daggers, pointed towards her favorite prisoner.
A young woman, barely more than a girl.
She was from a neighboring tribe. Beautiful button nose and plump lips, bowing down low, foreign words slipping off her tongue.
She was meant to sing to the moon and the sea, but she sung their tribe’s songs upon anyone’s request. Danced as well as she could, tied up in chains.
A slap to the back of her head, something in the dirty ashmaker's speech.
A correction, two apologies delivered in a low bow.
Forgiveness in the form of a plump bowl of jook and not much else.)
Her garden blooms around her.
What little use she could make of the soil there. Little plants, poisonous berries. Nothing too beautiful or lavish. She was just a humble old woman, afterall.
She’d been nice, asked around the village. Seeds, some tools. She was sweet and defenseless, and nobody ever dared suspect her to her face.
The village had never been a tribe.
And the house she lived in had always been just that. A house. Some might stretch it and call it a lair.
Not quite a home, as much as she tries to keep it cold, to make it feel like one when she closed her eyes, and look like one when she dared open them up.
That place is still a land of fire. Lava below her, the sun all too hot, not a single break in his wicked reign.
She misses the polar winters. They’d always been so good for weeding out the weak and the fiery alike.
Perhaps her glasses are tinted blue, contrasting all too sharply against the blood-red of that place.
But the point still stands in her mind. That place is no real home.
It doesn't have the foundations to be one.
It doesn't have the people to make it one.
There’s no Kana or Panuk or any of the children running about. There is no tribe to embrace her, no new stories to tell around the campfire. No dealings with the neighbors, and no polar-bear sled dogs to lead to the market every month.
There’s only the oppressive loneliness of a single person lost in the sea of snakes.
But for now, she can rejoice in the luxury of a new toy. One that can be mended, sewn and filled up with the truth. A child of ash, all hers.
(Malleable as the water she’d once sculpted into ice.)
Slow footsteps, steady smile. A bit of excitement, despite the bits of a lazy cat in her demeanor.
The doors of the inn, all open and empty.
Until the locked closet.
It’s their smallest room. It’s perfect for someone that small, that frail.
A plant left in a pot too big will soon spread, grow out of control.
If he grows up well enough, if his leaves twist and bend and his roots stretch out as he tries to reach the sun, she will put him on a leash.
Hama had been wanting something to keep her entertained.
-
He sobs and heaves and nearly vomits once or twice.
Snot and bile, no comfort, no caress.
Not a word amidst the fit. Nothing that he can hear, nothing that can make itself noted in his mind.
His body hurts, but there is no infection to take him away, to lend him a hand.
He can’t think straight. Repulse fills his throat whenever he thinks of himself, whenever he opens his eye for enough time to truly see himself.
And he can’t do this, he thinks.
Like any child does, he slips into a spiral, falls down and down.
Thoughts swirling in his head, screams that his throat can't force out.
Until something breaks through, snaps him out of it.
The sound of a door creaking open.
A tiny stream of the morning’s light drifts into the room, so gentle yet so bright, revealing dust that doesn’t quite form bunnies and mold growing on the walls of a cramped closet.
The decrepit coldness is suddenly accentuated, with the gentle warmth that hits his back.
He shudders, suddenly, as the light is taken away.
When he turns, a figure stands, back-lit in the doorway.
Old and hunched, his blurry eyes barely able to focus on anything but her kind smile.
He turns to her, ready to question why she left his legs tied up, why she locked him there, how long he'd been alone, what she wants to do now-
“Are- Are you-” he tries stuttering out a question, but suddenly, he realizes he doesn’t know just what he wants to ask.
She comes closer, looks down upon him.
“Bow down and ask, young one.” she says, gently. “Be respectful of this old woman, won’t you?”
Vaatu growls at the back of his head, and, for a second, he forgets that his friend is simply locked inside his mind, with no real effect on the world once they’re not alone.
So, he breathes in deep, pretends there’s nothing wrong inside him.
And drops down in a rigit bow, so the kind woman won’t burn him.
“I am Hama. Who are you?” a cane pokes his burnt side, the arm that’s no longer there.
Deep breath. He knows who he is, and so will she.
“I’m Zuko. Son of-”
“Nobody.” she says. The harsh word startles him, slipped in such a gentle voice. “Not anymore. Not after what happened to you.”
He tries again.
“Zuko, son of P-”
A poke from the cane, right in a blister. He flinches and hisses, unable to stop himself.
“You are a son of nobody.” she says, her voice sweet as the smell of moldy grain. “After all that must’ve happened to you, it’s better as that. Poor thing.”
That silence lasts for a few seconds, before her voice returns, kinder, to his sight of nothing but fetid floorboards.
“Now, young one, tell me, what have they done to you?”
He won’t say. He won’t speak out again.
Not when Vaatu hisses, pure in his anger, taking over his head.
“Don’t you think you owe me that, after all I’ve helped you with?” a cane pokes his head, gently thumping against his skull. No real intention for pain, not on his bad side.
He gulps down something.
A single tear hits his lip, salty against the bitterness in his mouth.
Why does he cry? Why do the tears betray his mind, why does his gut feel so raw?
“I- I was burned.” he says.
“That I can see.” she says, gently. “Now come on, darling. I must know your affliction to heal you.”
“I was burned and banished.” he says. Words spilling out dirty and fetid and spat out like falling teeth.
But he tells no more. Hopefully, she won't see any tales of spirits, any curses or blessings to destroy.
(What if she wants to cleanse him, too?)
“Oh, dear.” she says, voice perfect in compassion.
Be careful, Vessel, Vaatu says in his head. His voice no longer a hiss, just a thought at the back of his mind. Do not trust her. Do not.
“That is very unfortunate.” she says. “Then, you aren’t Zuko, are you? As a banished boy, you have no name.”
“I- I still have my honor.” is the only defense he can give her.
And she laughs.
It would be warm, infectious as any other disease, were it not happening at that moment, when he felt raw and when his vulnerability was so easy to turn into anger.
“I am Hama, and you are Nobody.”
This is the point where the scene should end. Here, it should all fade away to silence, to maybe a sob or two, a twitch or whine at his own discomfort, until he is instructed to get up.
But please, remember just who we are talking about.
Nothing ends when or how it should, down here.
“B-But-” he tries stammering out, his heart thundering in his chest. His voice can’t come out as a scream, but it tries.
Maybe, a part of him thinks, his voice will be heard then.
She pokes him again, straight at the ribs.
“Nobody.” she says. “Nobody, with that attitude.”
If only she knew, he wanted to say.
Be nobody, Vaatu whispers, locked inside his head.
Zuko wants to fight. He wants to bite and gnash and destroy, to bend and twist and fall upon that state again, that state that made him-
“Not nobody,” he says. “I- I’ll prove to you. I’m not nobody. I swear on my honor.”
He can feel her smile.
“Son of nobody, then.” she says. “But make good on that promise, please.”
Hissing in his head, he looks up.
Tap, straight at a hollowed-out cheek.
“Stay down.” she says. “The light might hurt your eyes, so keep down low, son. I’ll get you something to eat.”
-
#writing#fanfic#atla#atla aang#atla zuko#atla hama#avatar#avatar zuko#vaatu#avatar vaatu#fanwork#fandom#fanfiction#fantasy#angst#muffinlance#mother hama au#hama#avatar hama
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beneath the moon. (sokka x f!reader) pt5
thank u so much for reading and for all of your wonderful feedback :) i hope ur having a great day!
pt1
pt4
pt6
“You guys go ahead,” (Y/N) said. “I’m going to stay and help the other waterbenders.”
“Are you sure?” Sokka asked. “You were knocked out pretty bad.”
“I’ll be fine,” She insisted. Katara nodded and went over to Appa to climb into his saddle. Slowly, Yue backed away from her sister and walked over to Katara. Sokka was the only one who remained. He stared at her for a moment.
“Um, stay safe,” He said.
“You too.”
(Y/N) stood patiently in the Spirit World Oasis. Most everyone was forbidden from spending too much time here, for fear that someone would damage it, but it was definitely her favorite place in the entire North Pole. She remembered begging her father numerous times to let her bring her paints and easel in here, but he refused. It was a closely guarded Northern Water Tribe secret, but for what reason, she wasn’t sure.
Yue had brought her, Katara, and Aang here in an effort to get Aang to connect with the Spirit World. Aang sat on the grass with his legs folded. She and Yue both let out a gasp as his tattoos began to light up.
“Is he okay?” (Y/N) asked Katara. She nodded, a smile on her face.
“Don’t worry, he just crossed over into the Spirit World. He should be fine as long as we don’t move his body.”
Yue looked around the oasis nervously. (Y/N’s) own hair rose on the back of her neck. She felt like something was wrong. “Maybe we should get some help,” Yue suggested. Katara shook her head.
“No, he’s my friend. I’m perfectly capable of protecting him.”
“Well aren’t you a big girl,” A voice that (Y/N) didn’t recognize chuckled. She watched as Katara’s entire body tensed. All three girls turned around to see a boy standing there. He could be no older than sixteen, with a scar on his left eye. His entire presence struck fear into (Y/N’s) heart, but she wouldn’t let him see it. “Hand him over and I won’t have to hurt you.”
(Y/N) moved first, since his eyes were trained on Katara. She wasn’t sure who this boy was, but she knew his presence was a threat to Aang. She gathered water from the oasis and shot it toward him. He dodged her attack but Katara hit him with another blast of water. He kicked his legs into the air and shot a stripe of fire at both of them. (Y/N) ducked just in time to not be burned.
Out of the corner of her eye, she watched Yue run for help. (Y/N’s) heart felt like it would pound out of her chest. This was her first real fight and she was scared out of her mind, but the rush of power she felt from the moon kept her steady. Both girls quenched his fire with their own water blasts. With Katara’s help, they captured the boy in a ball of water and froze him in ice. He quickly melted out of it and ran toward Aang, grabbing him by the collar.
With a yell, (Y/N) raised a large wave and shot it at him, sending him backward. Katara froze the water once more to keep him imprisoned. (Y/N) bent over out of breath, exhausted from how much of her own power she had just used.
Her eyes widened as (Y/N) watched the sun rise above them. Quickly she turned to the boy, raising her hands to fight him once more, but it was too late. He broke free from the ice and the blast sent both her and Katara flying backward.
Katara landed against the gate of the oasis and slumped over unconscious. (Y/N) had been thrown back into the wall. She lay on the ground, coughing and groaning in pain. She watched as the boy picked up Aang and dragged him out of the oasis. She tried to crawl her way toward them but every inch of her body groaned in pain. Eventually, she succumbed to darkness.
---
When (Y/N) awoke, she was staring into two bright blue eyes. Her first thought was that they were beautiful, but once she realized they were Sokka’s, she pushed him away. “Yep, she’s fine,” Sokka grumbled as he helped (Y/N) rise to her feet.
Yue let out a sigh of relief before taking her sister into her arms. (Y/N) groaned, holding her head as her eyes searched their location. “Is Katara okay?”
“I’m fine,” Katara assured her. “We made a pretty good team.”
“Not good enough,” (Y/N) sighed, staring at the empty spot where Aang once sat. “Who was that guy, anyway?”
“Prince Zuko of the Fire Nation,” Sokka said bitterly. “He’s been hunting Aang since we met him.”
“Seems like a pleasure to be around,” (Y/N) said sarcastically.
“I can’t believe I lost him,” Katara’s eyes welled with tears.
“It’s not your fault,” Sokka reassured her. “You both did all you could. Come on, Zuko couldn’t have gotten far.”
“You guys go ahead,” (Y/N) said. “I’m going to stay and help the other waterbenders.”
“Are you sure?” Sokka asked. “You were knocked out pretty bad.”
“I’ll be fine,” She insisted. Katara nodded and went over to Appa to climb into his saddle. Slowly, Yue backed away from her sister and walked over to Katara. Sokka was the only one who remained. He stared at her for a moment.
“Um, stay safe,” He said.
“You too.” He ran to the others, hopping onto Appa’s back and sending them soaring into the air. (Y/N) watched as they left the oasis, Appa growing smaller and smaller as they flew away. She put her jacket back on and buttoned it up.
She ran back into her city to find it being overcome by Fire Nation soldiers. Their tanks ran over the ice, breaking the intricate sculptures and decorations that had been there for centuries. Her people were doing a good job of fighting them off by freezing their tanks and sending the soldiers back over the wall with plumes of water.
(Y/N) walked through the city, trying to find anywhere that she could help. As she looked around, a Fire Nation soldier grasped her harshly by the arm. She shouted in pain, trying to wrench herself free from his grasp. “You’re coming with me,” He said, his voice warped from behind his mask.
With her free hand, (Y/N) lifted the water from the canals and doused the soldier in it. He released her from the initial shock and (Y/N) grabbed him by the uniform, using all of her force to send him over the railing of the bridge and into the canal. The corner of her mouth tilted up just a bit as she watched him try to swim to safety.
While she wasn’t a master waterbender by any means, (Y/N) still utilized the skills Katara and Aang had taught her to defend her home from the Fire Nation. She shot icicles at them from high above, either knocking them unconscious or pinning their uniforms to the ground. She shot blasts of water to knock them off of her feet, and the other waterbenders in her tribe froze them in place. They stared at her, surprised to see one of the princesses utilizing her waterbending talents to fight, but she just gave them a shrug and continued along her way.
As she raised a wave to fight another Fire Nation soldier, the water fell to the ground, splashing at both of their feet. (Y/N) looked up at the sky to find that the moon had turned red. She tried once more to send a whip of water at the soldier, but nothing happened. Her face contorted in shock.
“Nice try,” The soldier said, grasping her by the hood of her coat. She stomped on his foot with her heavy boots and he shouted in pain, releasing her. (Y/N) ran away as fast as she could, back to the Spirit World Oasis. She reached her destination just as Sokka, Yue, and Katara were arriving.
“Where’s Aang?” (Y/N) asked.
“Inside!” Katara informed her. They crossed through the gates and watched as Aang stood face-to-face with Admiral Zhao. The man held a bag that writhed and twisted.
“Don’t do it, Zhao,” Aang demanded. “Destroying the moon won't hurt just the Water Tribe. It will hurt everyone, including you. Without the moon, everything would fall out of balance. You have no idea what kind of chaos that would unleash on the world.”
(Y/N) inhaled a sharp breath as she realized what exactly Zhao was holding in the sack. The fish within the oasis weren’t regular fish: they were the spirits of the moon and ocean. They were the ones who had given her the gift of waterbending. They were the ones who had saved Yue’s life when she was just a baby.
“He’s right, Zhao,” An old man said.
“General Iroh, why am I not surprised of your treachery?”
“This is no treachery,” Iroh said firmly. “The Fire Nation needs the moon just as much as the Water Tribe. We need balance. Whatever you do to that spirit I'll unleash on you ten-fold. Let it go, now!“
Zhao hesitated for a moment and (Y/N) watched as slowly, he let the Moon back into the oasis. She exhaled a breath she hadn’t realized she had been holding. But suddenly, Zhao released a loud shout and sent a column of fire down on the Moon spirit.
They all watched in horror as all of the color and life of the world dissipated. Everything around them was now black and white. (Y/N) lifted her hands to her mouth in horror.
“There’s no hope now,” Yue cried. “It’s over.”
“It’s not over,” Aang said, but it didn’t sound like his voice. It sounded like the voice of thousands of people. (Y/N) and the others watched as Aang’s tattoos and eyes began to glow the same brilliant blue hue that she had seen earlier.
The water within the oasis began glowing the same color. Aang entered the water and it formed around him, lifting him up into a giant blob that resembled the ocean spirit. It traveled through the water that led out of the oasis and into the city.
(Y/N) and Yue rushed over to the pond where the koi fish had once swam. The fish of the Moon spirit lay floating at the top, a deep red burn etched into its skin. The old man that had stood up to Zhao, Iroh, held the fish in his hands before placing it back in the water.
“Maybe...maybe I can heal it,” (Y/N) said hopefully, but her voice wavered despite herself. She reached her hands toward it, but Katara grabbed her wrists.
“It’s too late,” Katara whispered sadly. “It’s dead.”
Iroh turned to look at Yue, noticing how her eyes remained blue despite the world losing its color. “You...you’ve been touched by the Moon spirit. Some of its life is still in you.”
“Yes, you’re right,” Yue said, her face turning the most serious (Y/N) had ever seen it. “Maybe I can give it back.”
“No, absolutely not,” (Y/N) said, just as Sokka said, “You don’t have to do that.”
“It’s my duty,” She told them both. (Y/N) shook her head furiously.
“Your father told me to protect you,” Sokka pleaded.
“I have to do this.” Yue said decisively. (Y/N) grabbed onto her sister’s hands, shaking her head. Her eyes welled with tears that spilled over one by one.
“Please, Yue, no,” She begged. “It-It can take me instead. Please, you can’t do this. Please, Yue, I can’t lose you!” (Y/N) had spent her entire life looking after Yue. She had tried her best to protect her. But in this moment, she felt absolutely helpless.
Yue held her younger sister’s face between her hands, forcing her to stare into her eyes. Yue’s own eyes filled with tears. “You promised you’d support me, no matter what,” Yue said. Her voice did not waver once. “You have to let me do this.”
(Y/N’s) lips quivered, her body shaking with sobs. “I can’t, I can’t let you go. I don’t want to.”
“I love you,” Yue whispered, kissing her sister’s forehead. “You have no idea how much I love you.” Yue turned away, placing both of her hands onto the koi fish. (Y/N) reached to pull her away, but by the time her hands landed on Yue, it was too late. The koi glowed with a bright white light and Yue collapsed into Sokka’s arms.
“She’s gone,” He said quietly. “She’s gone.”
(Y/N)’s first memory of Yue was when she was four years old. She had sat in her bed in the middle of the night, crying and crying over a scary dream she had had. It had been a reoccurring experience and the elders had assured her parents that if they did not succumb to her cries, her nightmares would pass.
She remembered her door opening just a bit, the light of the moon shining onto her bedroom floor. Five year old Yue poked her head into the bedroom, clutching her blanket. (Y/N’s) cries had calmed into shaky breaths and sporadic tears as she watched Yue crawl into bed with her. “It’s alright,” Yue had whispered to her as she wiped away her tears. “I’m here now. I’ll always be here.”
The pond of the oasis glowed with a bright white light and from it came a ball of glowing energy. It formed into the shape of Yue, adorned in a beautiful white dress. She leaned forward and held (Y/N’s) cheek in her hand. “I’ll always be with you,” She said with a smile. She turned to Sokka and whispered something in his ear. “Goodbye, Sokka,” She said to him, before pressing her lips to his. When they pulled apart, she rose into the air and the bright white light of the moon returned to the earth. It showered them in its light, like Yue was smiling down on them.
(Y/N) pulled her knees into her chest and sobbed into them. Katara wrapped her arms around her friend, resting her chin on her head as the girl cried and cried.
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@aangsupremacy , @treestarrrrrrrr , @beifongsss , @mdgrdians , @aroyaldarknessblr , @musicalkeys , @aimee1602 , @plxstic-rose , @davnwillcome @squeamishdionysus , @clowninfortodoroki @thia-aep , @jinxed-tea @sara5208 @valiantprincessthea @alrightazula , @awesomelupe , @itsivyberry , @thebluelcdy , @samsmultifandomblogs , @loganrwebb , @minifruity , @cuddlykoala101 , @dionnaea , @alive-ahahah-fuck , @pipsqeak1326 , @krxliesdexd , @wastelandbbyg , @milk-n-cheese , @the-firebender-girl , @zukosvice , @justab-eautifulmess , @awkwardnesshabitat , @tomshollandz , @mmmidek-blog , @lavendercrystals , @dailytrashypanda , @bigbuckyenergy , @honey-ruel , @jackbamexpress , @astralsaf , @thebluelcdy
#atla#the last airbender#sokka x reader#zuko x reader#aang x reader#katara#sokka#aang#toph#zuko#azula#iroh#momo#appa#suki#writing#fanfiction
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And He was Nothing (A Jack Manifold Story)
tw for blood, death, self-deprication
Jack was nothing.
He’d never been anything. He was the kind of guy you met once, then forgot, a friend of a friend.
“Oh, you know Jack Manifold?”
“Yeah, the skinny kid with the broken glasses and the bald head?”
“That’s the one!”
He was nothing, and no one, and because of that, he’d always expected to die, in the way that background characters always die. It wasn’t going to be a martyr’s death, but maybe he’d even get a line in first.
He never expected it to hurt.
Of course it hurt. He’d heard the stories before, he thought he knew what to expect.
He’d heard from Tommy, back before he was exiled, the boy squirming at the memory as he talked about the pain, the cold, the fear.
He’d heard from Punz, the man laying on his back, staring at the sky in a strange, melancholy sorrow as he described the feeling of his body turning into nothing.
He’d heard from Skeppy, the trickster’s voice trembling as they sat together and watched the waves crash on the waves as he talked about sacrificing himself for someone he loved more than life itself.
He’d known it would hurt.
He hadn’t expected it to hurt this bad. The firework stuck in his stomach didn’t kill him instantly, burning, popping, destroying his guts bit by bit as he collapsed. He heard others cry out, but he was in too much pain to do anything.
It took nearly five minutes for his mind to give up, for his body to go limp for the last time.
The void was probably scarier than the dying by a million times. He just floated there, in the dark, in the cold, in the nothing, his eyes straining in the pitch black, his hands reaching for something. Anything.
He respawned among a dozen others, all of them sobbing and clutching their guts. He was in pain. He was in so much pain, but he didn’t say anything to Niki when she handed him a bottle of regen and told him to help out one of the others.
He did, helping around Pogtopia, cracking jokes, trying to raise people spirits, but after a while, he went back to Manburg, went home, and cried himself to sleep, trying not to remember the feeling of his body being torn apart.
He never went back to Pogtopia after that, knowing he wouldn’t be able to stand listening to people speak of their own deaths as if it made them special, wouldn’t be able to hear Tubbo talk about his execution as if it made him a hero, when dozens others went out the same way.
Pogtopia was full of heroes, and he was just a guy.
Tubbo and Tommy were both just as dead as he was, both just as fucked as he was, so they were in the same boat, and it was sinking fast. The two of them just had life jackets.
The battle of Manburg happened, not that he cared. He’d built a house on the outskirts of Manburg as he watched the world crumble.
Not a lot of other people stayed neutral, he noticed. George was oblivious to the destruction, the Badlands seemed to switch sides as they saw fit, and Karl had his own plans in mind, but Jack just shook his head and went back to setting up his new home.
He declared himself separate from L’Manburg, and Tubbo had agreed, telling him he was officially his own state, Manifoldland, and had nothing to fear from L’Manburg. He’d believed him.
He should not have believed him, especially when Fundy and Quackity showed up at his door with sadistic grins spreading over their faces.
They offered him a deal, in the end. Rejoin L’Manburg, or lose another life.
It wasn’t much of a choice.
Things were a sickening blur after that. Dream threatened L’Manburg (again), Tommy got exiled (again), and Tubbo caved to the slightest bit of peer pressure (again and again and again.)
Finally, Jack grew tired of being ignored, being treated like he hadn’t been there in the first war, fighting alongside the others, he needed someone who would treat him like a human being, not just a joke. Fundy was a dick, Eret was a traitor, Wilbur was dead, Niki was busy and Tubbo had bigger things to worry about.
Which left one person to talk to.
“Tommy! Hey, how’re y-”
He was cut off by a fist in his gut. The next thing he knew, he was dangling from the narrow walkway by his arms, legs kicking the air violently as he tried to get back up. Tommy did nothing to help, just staring at him as he did everything he could to just stay alive .
Then the boy was screaming at him about loneliness and friendship, and he didn’t know what was going on. If course Tommy was his friend, it wasn’t that he didn't care, he just didn’t realize the younger boy even remembered him anymore.
It wasn’t like Tommy’d ever made much attempt to act like a decent fucking human to Jack.
Jack begged, pleaded, sobbed, but Tommy had just shaken his head, and kicked his old friend into the lava with a fake salute.
That death hurt the worst.
It was also the coldest.
And the loneliest.
Jack had tried to lighten the mood. He stole Tommy’s prized possession then, a scarecrow he called his girlfriend. He thought things would get better, Tommy trying to get back at him, and him getting back at Tommy. A prank war, like back in the good old days.
But Tommy had just shrugged, and turned away to go back to Dream, and Jack felt something in his heart crack.
Tommy committed suicide a few weeks later, according to Tubbo, using up his last life, and Jack felt so goddamn guilty, so goddamn stupid.
And then Tommy was back, with Technoblade, the bastard who’d killed Jack the first time and he had no idea what to think.
Tommy had betrayed Techno, turning from his eldest brother to face Tubbo, and faintly, Jack wondered if the warrior was feeling the same dread, the same heartache he’d felt when Tommy had pushed him that last time.
The next day, Techno and Phil and Dream were back, and Jack was so so tired.
He stood his ground, with everyone else, charging the withers, fighting the best he could, watching as Techno spawned more, and more, and more, nine withers swooping through the air, sending people sprinting. He watched them close in on his house, and he felt a strange urgency well up inside him.
He had nothing. He had nothing but that house. That house was his only escape, the only thing on this server that truly belonged to him. So he ran, and he killed three withers, all on his own, and he looked around, hoping someone, anyone would notice and smile at him, a simple, ‘Good job, Jack, that was good’, or a nod, or any form of acknowledgement.
But he was Jack Manifold, and so he was left with nothing.
No one had even noticed, he realized. He did everything he could to help them, and when he needed it most…
He was alone.
When it was said and done, L’Manburg a smoking crater in the ground, the L’Mantree burnt down, and his home singed and damaged, he just laid down in the grass, and stared at the sky.
Suddenly, laughter echoed through the crater, and he crept to the edge. Those three bastards stood at the bottom, revelling in the destruction.
Dream, the man he and his friends had fought against for so long, who had destroyed this nation, this land, while barely raising a finger, stood with his back to Jack, long dirty blond hair in a high ponytail, casually leaning against a chunk of concrete.
Phil stood beside him, smiling lightly, face streaked with soot and blood. The little gems that hung from his hat and robes cast sparkles around the ruins, and Jack almost felt something like wonder, or admiration, or… regret? He looked like an angel, with his wings folded behind him, his eyes bright and fiery.
Technoblade was the one laughing, his curly hair spilling off his shoulders, the white-blond color it once was, now stained a dark pink with blood and clay. His single good eye glittered maniacally under his pig skull mask, and his arms swept in a wide arc as he twirled slowly, deep red velvet gown floating over the ground and causing pebbles to go skittering.
Jack remembered that laugh. The laugh of a man who pointed a firework down at him and smiled. The man who destroyed him, destroyed his home, destroyed his friends.
He stood up, almost expecting someone to step in, stop him, but no one noticed as he marched into the pit, to the three gods gathered in the center.
No one ever noticed.
Techno noticed, of course, stopping his revelry to gaze at the young man walking up to him, and he opened his mouth to say something, but Jack really really didn’t want to hear it.
He wound back his arm, and slammed his fist into Technoblade’s mask, as hard as he could.
Something in his fist cracked, but he pulled back, and punched again, and again, and again, aiming for the head, the chest, the neck. Finally, a voice that sounded so similar to Tubbo’s yelled his name, yelled at him to stop, but he didn’t care.
He was shouting something too, something wild, and garbled and furious. People were turning to stare, gazing into the crater at the mere soldier slamming his clearly broken hands into the Blood God’s chestplate, tears pouring down his face. Good. Let them stare. They weren’t going to remember him anyway.
Suddenly, two huge hands caught his wrists, forcing him to stop- almost a pitying gesture- and he stared up at the amber eyes of the most infamous killer in the dimension, and he felt nothing but rage. He slammed his head forward, into Techno’s mouth.
It didn’t do much, apparently, other than amuse the warrior, and he gave the boy a half-pitying smile before turning to glance at Phil.
“Mmmm… Thank the gods that L’Manburg has the great Jack Thunder Manifold here to keep them safe.”
Jack felt his heart plug as soon as his name left the lip of the other man, and he gulped. How did he know his name? He was nothing, a speck of dust in a ruined city. Finally, Techno turned his gaze back to him, and released him. Jack stumbled back a couple steps, before watching the other man pull out his sword.
He was going to die. He was going to loose his last life right here, right now, and he smiled.
“Do it.” His voice shook, but his heart burned with an intensity he was almost scared to acknowledge. “Kill me. I’m done. You win.”
Technoblade frowned at him, levelling the sword at his neck, but he paused. “...Do you have any last words, Jack Manifold?”
Jack hesitated. Did he? He’d never really thought it through, last words were something for heroes, for people who appeared on the book cover, for people who were worth remembering. He couldn’t think of anything, other than… “Just get it over with, bitch.”
And then Techno pulled back the sword and swung.
That death was the least painful. There was a moment of agony, as there always was, but it bled out quickly, along with the boy.
So he was in the void. Forever alone. Cold, tired, and alone.
Jack cried then. He hadn’t really cried in a long time, he realised, but sitting alone in the void seemed like the best time to do it.
“Hello.”
“...Wilbur?”
“Jack.”
“You look... nice.”
“Thank you. Pros of being dead, I suppose. I can make myself look good, and I don’t even have to shower.”
“Oh. Makes sense. Am I…am I here for good? Like, I can’t leave?”
“I’m… not sure? Everyone’s souls split in two when they die, the ghost bit and the soul bit. Your ghost is probably down there, somewhere, but hypothetically, you can switch with it-”
“No, I don’t want to be a ghost. I’ve met yours, he’s a bore.”
“...Ouch?”
“No offense. I don’t want to be a ghost, I just want to be me.”
“... Jack?”
“Yeah?”
“You weren’t much to begin with. Why go back?”
“What?”
“You… you were kinda the least… well, the least person I knew. You really want to try so hard to get back, when no one would even notice?”
Jack didn’t respond to that.
He just started walking.
For a while, Wilbur walked with him, trying to get him to stop, but, eventually, he gave up, letting him go.
He walked for hours, until the nothing turned into something.
The Prime Path.
He went home, and got a bowl of soup, and went to bed.
Everyone noticed he’d died.
No one noticed he shouldn’t have respawned.
He didn’t care.
He marched to Niki’s house, first thing in the morning, with his proposition.
Tommy was the main character, and Jack was nothing, but he’d be damned before he let himself get ignored.
He was everything, and he was nothing, and he knew the secrets of the universe, and he’d stared God in the eye and called him a bitch.
And Jack Manifold became a villain.
#toby writes shit#toby's banger posts#jack manifold#dream smp#mcyt#blood tw#gore tw#technoblade#tommyinnit#wilbur soot#death tw
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I'm a Chinese, nationally and racially. Racial projection seems to be a common practice in western fandom, doesn't it? I find it a bit... weird to witness the drama ignited upon shipping individuals with different races, or the tendency to separate characters into different "colors" even though the world setting doesn't divide races like that. Such practice isn't a thing here. Mind explaining a bit on this phenomenon?
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Sure, I can try. But of course, fish aren’t very good at explaining the water they swim in.
Americans aren’t good at detecting our own Americanness, and a lot of what you’re seeing is very much culturally American rather than Western in general. (In much of Europe, “race” is a concept used by racists, or so I’m told, unlike in the US where it’s seen more neutrally.) Majority group members (i.e. me, a white girl) aren’t usually the savviest about minority issues, but I’ll give it a shot.
The big picture is that most US race stuff boils down to our attempts to justify and maintain slavery and that dynamic being applied, awkwardly, to everyone else too, even years after we abolished slavery.
There’s a concept called the “one drop rule” where a person is “black” if they have even one drop of black blood.
We used to outlaw “interracial” marriage until quite recently. (That meant marriage between black people and white people with Asians and Hispanic people and others wedged in awkwardly.) Here’s the Wikipedia article on this, which contains the following map showing when we legalized interracial marriage. The red states are 1967.
That’s within living memory for a ton of people! Yellow is 1948 to 1967. This is just not very long ago at all. (Hell, we only fully banned slavery in 1865, which is also just not that long ago when it comes to human culture.)
Why did we have this bananas-crazy set of laws and this idiotic notion that one remote ancestor defines who you are? It boils down to slavery requiring a constant reaffirming that black people are all the same (and subhuman) while white people are all this completely separate category. The minute you start intermarrying, all of that breaks down. This was particularly important in our history because our system of slavery involved the kids of slaves being slaves and nobody really buying their way out. Globally, historically, there are other systems of slavery where there was more mobility or where enslaved people were debtors with a similar background to owners, and thus the people in power were less threatened by ambiguity in identity.
Post-slavery, this shit hung around because it was in the interests of the people in power to maintain a similar status quo where black people are fundamentally Other.
A lot of our obsession with who counts as what is simply a legacy of our racist past that produced our racist present.
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The other big factor in American concepts of identity is that we see ourselves as a nation of immigrants (ignoring our indigenous peoples, as usual). A lot of people’s families arrived here relatively recently, and we often don’t have good records of exactly where they were from, even aside from enslaved people who obviously wouldn’t have those records. Plenty of people still identify with a general nationality (”Italian-American” and such), but the nuance the family might once have had (specific region of Italy, specific hometown) is often lost. Yeah, I know every place has immigrants, and lots of people don’t have good records, but the US is one of those countries where families have on average moved around a lot more and a lot more recently than some, and it affects our concepts of identity. I think some of the willingness to buy into the idea of “races” rather than “ethnicities” has to do with this flattening of identity.
New immigrant groups were often seen as Other and lesser, but over time, the ones who could manage it got added to our concept of “whiteness”, which gave them access to those same social and economic privileges.
Skin color is a big part of this. In a system that is founded on there being two categories, white owners and black slaves, skin color is obviously going to be about that rather than being more of a class marker like it is in a lot of the world.
But it’s not all about skin color since we have plenty of Europeans with somewhat darker skin who are seen as generically white here, while very pale Asians are not. I’m not super familiar with all of the history of anti-Asian racism in the US, but I think this persistent Otherness probably boils down to Western powers trying to justify colonial activities in Asia plus a bunch of religious bullshit about predominantly Christian nations vs. ones that are predominantly Buddhist or some other religion.
In fact, a lot of racist archetypes in English can be traced back to England’s earliest colonial efforts in Ireland. Justifying colonizing Those People because they’re subhuman and/or ignorant and in need of paternalistic rulers or religious conversion is at the bottom of a lot of racist notions. Ironic that we now see Irish people as clearly “white”.
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There are a lot of racist porn tropes and racist cultural baggage here around the idea of black people being animalistic. Racist white people think black men want to rape/steal white women from white men. Black women get seen as hypersexual and aggressive. If this sounds like white people projecting in order to justify murder and rape... well, it is.
Similar tropes get applied to a lot of groups, often including Hispanic and Middle Eastern people, though East Asians come in more for creepy fantasies about endlessly submissive and promiscuous women. This nonsense already existed, but it was certainly not helped by WWII servicemen from here and their experiences in Asia. Again, it’s a projection to justify shitty behavior as what the party with less power was “asking for”.
In porn and even romance novels, this tends to turn up as a white character the audience is supposed to identify with paired with an exotic, mysterious Other or an animalistic sexy rapist Other.
A lot of fandoms are based on US media, so all of our racist bullshit does apply to the casting and writing of those, whether or not the fic is by Americans or replicating our racist porn tropes.
(Obviously, things get pretty hilarious and infuriating once Americans get into c-dramas and try to apply the exact same ideas unchanged to mainstream media about the majority group made by a huge and powerful country.)
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Politically, within the US, white people have had most of the power most of the time. We also make up a big chunk of the population. (This is starting to change in some areas, which has assholes scared shitless.) This means that other groups tend to band together to accomplish shared political goals. They’re minorities here, so they get lumped together.
A lot of Americans become used to seeing the world in terms of “white people” who are powerful oppressors and “people of color” who are oppressed minorities. They’re trying to be progressive and help people with less power, and that’s good, but it obviously becomes awkward when it’s over-applied to looking at, say, China.
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Now... fandom...
I find that fandom, in general, has a bad habit of holding things to double standards: queer things must be Good Representation™ even when they’re not being produced for that purpose. Same for ethnic minorities or any other minority. US-influenced parts of fandom (which includes a lot of English-speaking fandom) tend to not be very good at accepting that things are just fantasy. This has gotten worse in recent years.
As fandom has gotten more mainstream here, general media criticism about better representation (both in terms of number of characters and in terms of how they’re portrayed) has turned into fanfic criticism (not enough fics about ship X, too many about ship Y, problematic tropes that should not be applied to ship X, etc.). I find this extremely misguided considering the smaller reach of fandom but, more importantly, the lack of barriers to entry. If you think my AO3 fic sucks, you can make an account and post other fic that will be just as findable. You don’t need money or industry connections or to pass any particular hurdle to get your work out there too.
People also (understandably) tend to be hypersensitive to anything that looks like a racist porn trope. My feeling is that many of these are general porn tropes and people are reaching. There are specific tropes where black guys are given a huge dick as part of showing that they’re animalistic and hypersexual, but big dicks are really common in porn in general. The latter doesn’t automatically mean you’re doing the former unless there are other elements present. A/B/O or dubcon doesn’t mean it’s this racist trope either, not unless certain cliched elements are present. OTOH, it’s not hard for a/b/o tropes to feel close to “animalistic guy is rapey”, so I can see why it often bothers people.
A huge, huge, huge proportion of wank is “all rape fantasies are bad” crap too, which muddies the waters. I think a lot of people use “it’s racist” as an easy way to force others to agree with their incorrect claims that dubcon, noncon, a/b/o, etc. are fundamentally bad. Many fans, especially white fans, feel like they don’t know enough to refute claims of racism, so they cave to such arguments even when they’re transparently disingenuous.
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Not everyone here thinks this way. I know plenty of people offline, particularly a lot of nonwhite people, who think fandom discourse is idiotic and that the people “protecting” people or characters of color are far more racist than the people writing “bad” fic or shipping the wrong thing.
But in general, I’d say that the stuff above is why a lot of us see the world as white people in power vs. everyone else as oppressed victims, interracial relationships as fraught, and porn about them as suspect. Basically, it’s people trying to be more progressive and aware but sometimes causing more harm than good when those attempts go awry.
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sh.adow & b.one thoughts ( contains spoilers! ) tw: racism ( this is just a thought dump and to explain why i’m not adapting the show’s racist elements in my portrayals )
disclaimer: just because i will not adapt the racist element as it appears in the show doesn’t mean i won’t acknowledge the book canon, in-universe prejudice and discrimination against the poc characters in grishaverse.
so. the racism in shadow and bone. having watched all of the show, i now have some mixed thoughts about it. in the books, alina is assumed to be white for the most part. it is only at the end when we ( or at least i ) suspected that she is not entirely ravkan, and then the casting confirmed it. the kind of racism alina ( and mal ) faced in the show was never a factor in the books, despite rampant anti-shu and anti-fjerdan sentiment. the suli are painted as people who are displaced and mostly neglected by the ravkan government, and definitely treated with prejudice, but as far as i recall there is no specific slur directed at them either in book canon.
however, whereas alina’s ethnicity is vague in the books, it is crystal clear in the show that she is a biracial woman. i know that for biracial folk, experiences vary across the board, especially if you’re a biracial person and an immigrant or a refugee. alina is a war orphan. her mother’s country of origin is at war with her current country of residence. to an extent, i understand the level of animosity ravkans have against people who look like the threat / the enemy. people of color face racism and prejudice day in and day out, sometimes from white people, sometimes from fellow people of color. this is a grim reality with a long and studied history of racism and racial superiority creating divides between minorities and pitting them against each other.
was the racism necessary to the plot? it definitely adds layers to it. you have an orphaned girl of color in a mostly white people country. they discriminate against her and her best friend for most of her life, using slurs such as “rice-eater” and “half-breed”. but this country has a huge problem, and it turns out only this orphaned girl of color can save them from it, despite them alienating her consistently. now they need her help, now they call her a saint. this girl, who based on show-canon, feels so different and abnormal from the rest of her peers because her ethnicity is always pointed out and considered a bad thing. now she has to be a hero for a country that despises her... and not only that, now she has to do it under the tutelage of a white man. white man looks older than her; there is an obvious imbalance in their power dynamic, but he looks at her like his hope come at last and places her on a pedestal she doesn’t ask for. this same white man puts a collar around her neck and then effectively subjugates her by taking control of her power.
it... it kinda sounds bad, doesn’t it? it does. “but wait,” the volcra screeches. “via, are you fucking stupid?” it asks. “that’s not how the story ends! she overcomes!”
well, yes. but does it really make the rest of it any less insidious? alina is denied food, consistently picked on, and mocked, for being half-shu. it is prevalent in her show storyline and difficult to ignore. and thus it will be woven into everything that happens to her, and every decision that she makes will in turn, make us, the viewers, look back on it even if she herself doesn’t do so explicitly. i know the intent of including this racism element into her ( and mal’s ) story is to portray an accurate depiction of the POC experience as they maneuver white or mostly white spaces, or just spaces not catered to their specific ethnicity. but does it work? is it necessary? the irregulars, which is also a netflix show, did a great job at casting a young chinese woman in a lead role and a black man as dr. john watson without ever having to define their characters or their capabilities to move in the world by their race alone. as a half-chinese woman myself, it was empowering to watch a chinese girl able to take the lead and make bold statements and brave decisions without ever being bogged down by the limitations of her race.
at the end of the day, it is a fantasy world. do you think if the racism isn’t there, the story’s going to be worse off than it is? personally, if they left it out, i think the story will be just fine. there are a lot of things that tie these characters together outside of their racial struggles, like... i don’t know, personality? circumstances? the need to save their country from a powerful tyrant? the struggle for survival in a constantly at-war nation? there is also the fact that this racism element they’ve introduced is inconsistent. so much directed against alina and mal because they want the viewers to sympathize with these two characters. some of it directed towards inej, another protagonist, whose story has a lot to do with how she was exploited because she is suli. but where’s the racism directed at zoya? at botkin? if there’s racism against the shu and if they call them rice-eaters, where’s the anti-fjerdan racism and what do they call fjerdans? ice-shavers? cold-dwellers? aren’t fjerdans ravka’s enemies too? but oh wait... fjerdans are white. nevermind.
speaking of zoya: in the books, especially in RoW, it was implied that she is white-passing, which is why she was never treated differently for being suli. however, show!zoya is NOT white-passing at all. she is very obviously a woman of color, and while i acknowledge that yes, poc can be racist against poc, i don’t really see zoya -- bully, mean girl, attention-starved, ambitious, ruthless zoya -- resulting to such a low blow. sujaya dasgupta herself admitted that in show canon, zoya experiences racism ( though it was never explicitly shown to us ), and consciously turns it against alina in the hopes of hurting another woman of color. don’t get me wrong, zoya is definitely a terrible person at the start of the series. she was classist and mean and she had a superiority complex, and that superiority complex comes from being a powerful grisha, something she worked hard for. she thinks alina doesn’t belong in the little palace, not because alina is shu, but because alina appears out of nowhere, is untrained but is already considered powerful / the solution to everyone’s problem, and has nabbed her old place as the darkling’s favored. the “you stink of keramzin” jab is more than enough to drive her point home and i don’t think “half-breed” is necessary at all. besides, from what it looked like, alina isn’t the only mixed-race grisha. grisha comes from all over, taking refuge in ravka because they’re the only nation that treats their grisha under acceptable conditions. so one would expect some diversity there, which zoya, having been at the little palace since age 9, would have been used to by now. i don’t really think there’s a lot of incentive for her in using a racial slur, and she’s lethal enough with words that she doesn’t need them to injure somebody.
“via, stop barking and tell us what you’re going to adapt in your portrayal!”
okay, well. personally, i’m not interested in including the show’s racist element in any of my characters’ storyline ( alina, zoya, mal, ehri ). i acknowledge the anti-shu, anti-fjerdan, and anti-suli sentiments as they appear in book canon, but i will not use alina’s ethnicity as the basis of her “otherness” because i like the book canon explanation for that better. nor will i acknowledge that zoya called alina a half-breed, because my zoya is not white-passing zoya, and she knows infinitely better ways to inflict verbal harm than racism. zoya will also be grappling with being half-suli because she was exposed to anti-suli sentiments by her own mother as a young child.
all my characters are of asian-adjacent ethnicities, and as an asian person myself, do you really think i am interested in reliving my traumatic racism experiences through the characters that i write in a fantasy world? with alina especially, it’s like she couldn’t breathe without someone pointing out that she’s half-shu. i think as much as it is important to show authentic poc experiences in art and media, it is also equally important to show poc solidarity, and to stop defining people by their race alone and to just let them exist as people.
it doesn’t help that the show’s way of depicting racism is gratuitous, insulting, and feels like it’s catered more towards the white gaze than... you know, actual POC viewers? i understand people will disagree with me on this and that’s fine. this is just how i feel. given that shu-han as a nation didn’t even feature much in the books and we don’t know ANYTHING about them in a cultural context aside from the fact that their appearance is coded as east asian, the discrimination towards them really just hinges on shallow factors like how they look, what they eat ( ???? ), and how they are viewed as ravka’s enemy. it boils down to an east vs. west type of scenario ( and considering the barrage of anti-asian sentiment in our current political climate it’s... questionable at the very least ), and the racism element is not a profound expression of the poc experience but more like... a caricature version of it, once again, in my opinion.
“via, i can’t believe you used that many words trying to tell us you won’t include the racism in your portrayal.”
hey, i know. but a girl be having thoughts, a girl’s two brain cells be rubbing together, you know? this is me deep cleansing my brain by yoting my thoughts into the void. but yes, this is my take! i understand if you don’t feel the same way, but i just... i can’t feature the racist elements of the show in my blog, sorry (not really).
¯\_(ツ)_/¯
#* ic. / headcanons#headcanon: alina starkov#headcanon: zoya nazyalensky#headcanon: malyen oretsev#headcanon: ehri kir taban#racism tw#sab spoilers#asian ppl who disagree are valid#& pls remember not to tell POC what they can be iffy abt#also this seems like a lot of thoughts i just had to put them somewhere#shadow and bone spoilers
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The Jones family
Rating: General Audiences Archive Warning: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings Category: F/M Fandom: Spider-Man (Tom Holland Movies) Relationship: Michelle Jones/Peter Parker
Summary:
HAPPY @mjweek EVERYONE!!! Meet the Jones family and MJ's backstory. See you tomorrow :D
Read on Ao3
MJ arrived home on a rush. She ran to her bedroom and hid her bag under her desk, then moved to organize the books she had all over the bedroom to a pile on the corner of the room. While stacking the books she noticed they could fall down if she placed more books on the same pile. How she managed to have so many books scattered around the floor?
Three piles of books later she moved to her desk where a bunch of sketches where, next to her notes from school and even more notes for the decathlon team. Her white dressing table could wait to be cleaned up.
She opened the white door that lead to her dressing room and a bathroom to collect the t-shirts that were on the floor. She kicked some converse to the cabinet at the bottom of her closet. She opened the doors where all her dresses were and tried to pick one.
“Shelly, are you cleaning your room?” MJ’s older sister was standing on the dressing room door watching MJ.
“Becca can you help me pick a dress? I’m not sure about the yellow one or the blue one.” MJ took the dresses out of the hanger and showed them to her sister.
“Ew. None of those! The yellow one has an awful neckline and the blue one has awful patterns. Let me see that closet.”
“Ouch. I like those dresses, Becca.” MJ’s sister crossed the dressing room and looked to all the dresses MJ had.
“Where is the black and red dress I gave you, M? You wore it, like, once at Christmas and then totally forgot about it.” MJ remembered that dress. It was totally beautiful, at first she thought it was not her style but once she tried on she loved it. But she didn’t know where it was.
“It has to be there. What are you wearing tonight, by the way?” Becca just shrugged and kept looking around MJ’s closet. Contrary to what people think, MJ loved wearing dresses, but they weren’t as comfortable as you would like to certain activities. Like going for a swing with your superhero boyfriend.
“Found it!” Becca shouted bringing MJ back from her internal ramble. MJ’s sister took the dress from the hanger and took it in her arms like it was a treasure. MJ followed her sister to the foot of her bed and watched while Becca placed the black and red dress above the bedspread.
“Thanks Becca! I really like that dress” Becca gave her a side hug and left telling her to check on the dinner before they set the table. After Becca left, MJ kept looking at her dress. How could she forget about it? It was truly beautiful. It wasn’t too long, it touched her knees. The dress was black with little red dots and a few red flowers. It has a cute V-neck and it was sleeveless. Nothing too crazy for her. And she couldn’t help thinking that the colors where very appropriate for the occasion.
MJ went down the stairs to the first floor and crossed the small dining room that lead to the kitchen. Her house wasn’t big per se. But she lived in the suburbs and that gave her the possibility to have a bigger house than most people. Her dad worked hard to buy that house and Becca and she tried to keep everything under control, like paying bills or buying food.
She missed her dad. Being the CEO of a company was amazing, it paid the house, Becca’s college and MJ’s school but the prize was high. He wasn’t home most of the time, but he tried to be there for them on important days, like today.
Francis was on the kitchen when MJ entered the room. She had worked for them since forever. She was like a mom to MJ and Becca.
“Hey Fran! What are you cooking today?” MJ’s family wasn’t a very intimate family. They all loved each other but they didn’t hug or kiss, goodbye or hello, often.
“Hey Shelly. Your favorite, Mac and Cheese with smashed potatoes and some veggies. How was school?”
“Sounds good! Remember to put an extra plate today Fran and school was normal. Nothing extraordinary” MJ grabbed an apple from the kitchen island and gave it a bite.
“I remember your dad is gonna be here tonight, don’t worry! What about decathlon? All good?”
“Yeap, but some else is coming too. All good with decathlon, preparing for nationals.” Let’s say she told everyone she wanted to introduce someone, she just left out a little detail. She was introducing her boyfriend, her superhero boyfriend.
“No details like always.” Francis knew when not to push MJ and she deeply appreciated that.
“You know me. Fran I’m going to get ready. Dad is going to be here soon and I need to take a shower.”
“Okay Shelly, see you later.” MJ walked out of the kitchen to her bedroom. After a short shower she applied her usual product for her hair and let it dry on her own. She wasn’t trying to impress Peter, he already knew her.
“Shelly! Becca! I’m home!” MJ heard her dad calling them from the first floor and she went down stair to say hi.
“Hey dad! How are you?” MJ greeted his dad with a peck on his cheek. The tall man played with MJ’s hair and looked at her dress.
“You haven’t used that dress in a long time! You look beautiful, Shelly. I’m perfect now that I’m with my girls. Where is Becca?”
“Here! Hey, dad!” Becca came down the stairs using a pink and white summer dress and heels. A white cotton fabric molded her figure and embroidered tulle with pink flowers.
“Becca, isn’t that like a little too much?” MJ told Peter is was quite formal but not like etiquette formal kind of dinner.
“Oh Shelly! But you were cleaning your room! This is huge dad, you should have seen her. She even organized her books.” Becca said while kissing her dad’s cheek.
“You organized your books? This is huge, then.” MJ’s dad looked at her with amusement in his eyes. MJ recognized she uses to have more books in her room than the bookshelves on the office but she liked to have them close to her, just in case. The bell rang and MJ felt her heart skip a beat.
“I’ll get it!” MJ walked to the door and cleaned her hands on her dress before opening the door “Hey Parker.”
“Hey, MJ. You look beautiful, I like your converse” Peter was wearing a black suit without a tie. The look made her remember of that night in Prague when he invited her for a walk. He looked good.
“Thanks. Come in” MJ moved aside to let Peter walk into the house. When she turned around her sister and dad were looking at her like she had grown a third head while opening the door.
“Amm. Peter this is my dad, Nick and my sister Rebeca.”
“Nice to meet you, Sir. I’m Peter Parker.” Peter and MJ’s dad shake hands while MJ tried not to show how nervous she actually was.
“Nice to meet you Peter.” MJ’s dad greeted Peter formally and then Peter moved to shake Becca’s hand.
“Nice to meet you Rebecca.” MJ was mostly afraid of this particular interaction. Her sister knew a lot of things about how MJ felt about Peter
“I’m finally meeting you in person! Shelly, your sketches don’t make this guy justice. Now I totally get it, girl.” MJ took a deep breath and ignored the comment. Becca started asking about Peter when MJ started to draw him. A few sketches scattered around her bedroom floor and Becca was visiting, she found them and started asking a million questions about him.
“Shelly?” Peter turned to look at her with a teasing face. MJ was praying he didn’t notice the old nickname her family used for her but of course it was a fail.
“Don’t mention it. Ever.” Peter was going to say something more when Francis came out of the kitchen and called their attention.
“Hey Nick! Welcome back! And who is this guy, Shelly? Your special guest?” Francis moved closer to the group to greet MJ’s dad and then shook Peter’s hand.
“Peter, this is Francis. She works for us. Francis, this is Peter, from high school and the decathlon team.”
“Oh! The decathlon team! You were with Shelly for nationals in Washington? Congratulations for winning.”
“Well…” Peter started but MJ knew how bad at lying he was.
“He got sick but he was with us at the hotel, yeah.” It wasn’t a lie, well, kind of. It was what he told everyone.
“Yeah… my tummy.” After a few awkward seconds Francis announced that dinner was ready. They all moved to the dining room and the plates were already waiting for them.
“Francis, why don’t you sit with us before going to your home?” MJ’s dad offered and Fran accepted by placing a new plate next to Becca. They all started eating in silence but MJ knew better. It wouldn’t last long.
“How was your trip dad?” Becca broke the silence and MJ thanked her with her eyes.
“Pretty good, but Atlanta is too hot this time of the year.”
“Where are you going next?” MJ and Becca had stopped asking if he was staying for more than a few days. The answer was always the same and they all knew that, he couldn’t stay.
“Paris. We need to close some business there. Oh Shelly, it’s a shame you didn’t get to Paris on your trip, but London was quite nice too, right?” all the heads turned to MJ and she shrugged. She wasn’t going to tell everyone she was hiding from killer drones so she couldn’t enjoy London that much.
“As talkative as always. What do you think of London, Peter?” Becca asked him and MJ turned to see what he had to say.
“Cold. A little windy too but the Tower Bridge was the best part of the trip.” Peter looked at her with a goofy smile and MJ couldn’t help but smile with him. He was right, the Tower Bridge was the best part of London.
“Aww, Shelly! I haven’t notice that necklace! I love it, but wait… is it broken?” MJ haven’t noticed when her hand went to the black dahlia.
“Yeah. Peter gave it to me in the Tower Bridge but before it got to me it went on a full ride on its own. I love it just the way it is.” MJ deep down knew she would never hear the end of this from her sister, but she didn’t care either.
“What a lovely present, Peter. Where did you get it? I haven’t seen something like that here in the States.” MJ’s dad asked and Peter and MJ answered him at the same time.
“Venice.” everyone on the table laughed when they answered so in sync.
“Looks expensive too.” it was the first time Francis interacted while they were eating.
“Maybe some of my Star Wars figurines did a noble sacrifice.” Peter answered shyly.
“You what?” MJ didn’t know how Peter got the necklace but his beloved Star Wars figurines? Wow. Peter didn’t look at her but she could see his blushing cheeks “I can’t believe you did that. Please don’t tell me you also sold that Lego Death Star because Ned will hate me his whole life.”
“No! That’s Ned’s. I sold my things but I would never sell his things. And he would never hate you.”
“Ned is another friend, Shelly?” MJ’s dad was looking at them with curious eyes.
“He is Peter’s best friend. We have a few classes together and he’s on the decathlon team too.” MJ would like to say “yes, he is my friend” but she didn’t feel they were too close. Were they actually friends? Maybe not yet, but soon.
“He is you friend too, Em. Just like Betty, Cindy and even Flash.” Maybe Peter was right. They were her friends, even Flash. After the Europe trip she even understood Flash more. MJ smiled softly at Peter and they kept eating peacefully.
“Francis did MJ’s favorite meal today, Peter. She loves Mac and Cheese since she was little. She used to say she wanted a pool full of Mac and Cheese to swim in it.” MJ could hear Peter’s giggle and she was going to kill her sister.
“Don’t.” MJ threated Peter and he tried to hide his giggle while eating more veggies.
“I wasn’t going to.” MJ and Peter shared a side look and giggled a little before they kept eating.
“So… Michelle, Peter.” oh oh, MJ’s dad called her by her full name when she was in trouble or they needed to talk about serious business “how long have you been dating?” Peter got stuck with a bite of his food and he looked at MJ with worried eyes.
“London.” they answered at the same time and looked at MJ’s dad.
“Shelly! Why I didn’t know that! It’s been like six months since that trip! I’m offended now.” Becca called MJ’s attention and she could see that she was annoyed with her. They shared everything…. Well, Becca shared everything.
“You were gone those six months Becca. It’s not like you are here all the time to have a girl’s night and speak about boys or whatever.” MJ was trying to not spill truths like that but she couldn’t right now.
“Shelly has a point, Becca. We are never here and look, she told us to be here to introduce her boyfriend properly to everyone. Well done Shelly.” MJ’s dad hated leaving her alone all the time and she actually loved how he tried to be on her shoes before judging her.
“Thanks dad. Sorry Becca.” Peter was a little taken back for the exchange but didn’t say anything else.
“Don’t worry. All good, baby. It’s good to see you so sappy.” they all shared a laugh and Peter took her hand under the table.
After they finished dinner, MJ’s dad, Becca, Fran, Peter and MJ moved to the couch on the living room to chat more about how Peter and MJ meet, the details of their trip in Europe and some random things about MJ’s family and then Becca started to tell all sort of stories about their childhood. After a while MJ decided to take Peter on a small tour on the house and they left the room walking next to each other.
“The house is not as big as you probably think. Its three bedrooms, four bathrooms, an office, the living room and the kitchen. The main room it’s mine because I spend the most time here, dad and Becca have the other two rooms and Francis comes to help one day per week or special occasions.” She told Peter while walking up the stairs and then through the hall.
“Wow. You already know my apartment, two bedrooms, one bath, the living room and the kitchen May loves to burn. Seriously Em, this house is amazing.” MJ giggled a little while opening the first door that had the office.
“Yeah, but you have May and Ned around all the time. I’m alone here most of the time.” In the six months they have been dating, she learned to be more open with Peter. She could trust him, he wasn’t like most guys that just wanted a good time with her on her huge house.
“You are welcome any time you want. For homework, movies, dinner, just to chill. You don’t have to be alone in this house if you don’t want to MJ. May, Ned and I are your family now too.” They entered the room and she turned the light to show Peter some books.
“Thanks Pete. Well, this is the office. Most of my books are here, along with Becca’s and my dad’s books.” Peter scanned the bookshelves and after a while MJ could feel he wanted to ask something “What is it, Peter?”
“I noticed a few photos on the living room of you, you dad, Becca and… you don’t have to tell me anything, I don’t want to intrude.” MJ knew what he was talking about. The family photo on the living with her mom in it.
“Ammm. It’s fine. She was my mom, Claire. She passed away a few years ago, cancer. When she was here Becca was still in high school, my dad was traveling but tried to be here more often. After she died Becca had to go to college, my dad kept traveling and well, here I am.” MJ walked out of the room with Peter and she showed him Becca’s room while speaking to Peter.
“Again, you have me, Ned and May! Even Happy, he was quite impressed after London.” MJ remembered Happy, he was a nice guy.
“Thanks. This is Becca’s room. She comes here every once in a while. When college allows her. The next room is my dad’s.” They crossed the hall and MJ opened the next door “Here it is. He just arrived so his bag it’s there probably to unpack some stuff and then pack some more for his next trip.”
“That’s why I never saw anyone come get you after Washington and London. They were travelling.” It wasn’t a question, he was right. They checked on her but couldn’t be there. She was very grateful they checked on her at least, Flash was another story and she couldn’t imagine how he must feel.
“Yeah. They check on me when they can or I just send them a few texts to let them know I’m alive and good. For important things they do video calls or come over.” They closed the door and MJ lead Peter to the next room, her room.
“This is my room.” MJ opened the door and exhale a breath she didn’t know she was holding.
“This is huge!” Peter entered the room and immediately walked to her desk. Thank all the gods she saved the sketches that were there.
“Yeah. I love it. I have my bed, the desk, my books, a cool dressing room and my own bathroom.” she opened the door that lead to the dressing room and she could see Peter’s eyes shine like she had just shown him the door to Narnia.
“I always thought this was for movies. How many pairs of converse do you have by the way?”
“Lots of them. I don’t like wearing heels so for me converse and boots” Peter took his time checking her closet, it was quite an intimate moment and they weren’t even close to each other.
“Is this my sweater?” Peter took a sweater MJ had taken after a movie night at Peter’s from one of the drawers of her closet.
“Maybe. But I’m not giving it back, I sleep in that one.”
“You can be really sappy some times and let me tell you something, I love it.” Peter made MJ laugh and he crossed the room faster than a normal person would to kiss her on the lips. “You can keep it, by the way. It probably looks better on you than me.”
“Right. Whatever you say Spider-Man.” MJ remembered the first time she actually saw Peter. Not the boy with flannels and sweaters, the superhero underneath all that. There was no way in this planet a normal skinny kid would have those abs and those biceps and there was no way in the universe she actually looked better than him on that sweater.
“I really like your family MJ. They love you a lot. I always worried about your relationship with your family. You were so closed about them I was really worried but now I know how much they love you. Thanks for sharing this with me.” MJ gave Peter a soft kiss before speaking.
“I’m a box full of secrets, Parker.”
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