#try to explain to your doctor
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I went to the Doctor's today and didn't cry. I think I deserve some candy and a sticker now.
#try to explain to your doctor#that your mental health isn't low#it's nonexistent#blood bla bla#mental health#mental health memes#actually autistic#actually adhd#depression memes
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does fourteen play videogames with the noble family
I feel like no one in the house is much more than a casual gamer, but Fourteen will occasionally pick a system out of That Box (you know, the cardboard one nearly every family has stashed in a closet or garage with all those out-of-date electronics) and fix it up. It started one day when he was bored and eyeballing the blender, and Donna found Rose’s old Nintendo DS in a drawer and told them there was a game on it where you could just play with cute dogs, if they could get it working. It keeps their hands busy, and it’s good fun for everyone when random old games get dusted off.
#what’s fourteen up to#fourteenth doctor#I’m sorry I know next to nothing about games and gaming systems#I feel like Shaun maybe plays that fifa game#and rose goes through phases for things like animal crossing#but they’ve never really been a huge gamer family bc they couldn’t necessarily afford it#so like they’ve got a handful of things like the old DS#but most were either used or gotten when they were already a bit out of date#does this concept make sense?#I’m trying to explain it on NyQuil#I feel like y’all know what I’m talking about#that box where your Nintendo Wii is#you know the one#it’s probably got your old pc disc games in it too#it’s where your copy of the OG simms or Zoo Tycoon is
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pin those pathetic vicars against one another and see who wins
#doctor who#ninth doctor#tenth doctor#christopher eccleston#david tennant#the leftovers#matt jamison#inside man#harry watling#i feel like i already know the answer#don't pick your fave just because#try to be objective#love how they're both hypocrites#in totally different messed up ways#i feel like harry is way more stupid#whereas matt has 57 unresolved trauma#dw#explain answer in the tags
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doctor confirmed that 👉 this guy 👈 got pcos and i just got an implant to at the very least get my whacky periods under control and hopefully get them to stop entirely
#i also have thought about how i was cared for today#i go to a free place that has rotating doctors so i didnt see the same one that told me to get a ultrasound of my ovaries + blood test#previous one was a cis woman and she insisted me having multiple cysts on my ovary (that was double in size to the other one) wasnt enough#(for a pcos diagnosis) so she insisted i redo my blood test on the 2nd day of my period#which i didnt realise at the time is dumb as hell cause my periods are so chaotic im not even sure when they start and when they stop#the doc i saw today was a trans doctor (using iel in french! love to see it) and after i explained my situation was like#well theres no point to check your hormones here since we dont have a point of reference#and your ultrasound shows you have multiple cysts in your ovary so thats pcos#then explained to me what that does to your body & all that its not dangerous per say but its good to monitor and take hormones to help#and i said i was already considering the implant to stop my periods and they said that can be arranged today#told me the other alternatives and the risks associated with the implant but tbh my choice was already made#i mean of course idk how much cisness and transness has anything to do with this#but i had seen another cis doctor about my periods being whack when they started being whack#and he did an ultrasound saw nothing and was like “well nothing wrong with you” and that was the end of it#i definitely felt more comfortable and better cared for in the hands of a peer#(also i had to try three pharmacy to get the implant cause the other ones were out of it#walked way more today than planned but good day regardless!)
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My aunt decided a good way to wish me a happy birthday would be to text me a picture of me & my dead dad from my 22nd birthday.
Like yay thanks, I totally wanted to be sad and missing my dad on my birthday. I definitely wasn't trying to do the "out of sight out of mind don't think about sad things" thing to get through it without crying or anything 👍 Definitely wasn't already struggling missing not getting a happy birthday text from him 👍👍
#and like I get that her intentions were good but i find it SO rude#why would you bring up something heart wrenchingly sad to someone on their birthday? Unless they've indicated to you that they want that#it wasn't even like it was a new picture/one she could reasonably believe I hadn't seen before#we literally used a cropped version of that exact photo for his obituary#she has done something similar with EVERY SINGLE holiday since he died#fathers day & his birthday & thanksgiving & christmas all of them we got texts like “i know how hard today must be!”#like uh no i was doing fine til I got your text actually cuz I was blocking it all out & now your text has forced me to think about it#we're not even that close? Like she legit had never texted me before my dad died#and the last conversation I had with her was her telling me that me needing help with things was co-dependence#rather than a legit need because I am disabled#and that keeping my curtains closed all the time was unhealthy#and when I tried to explain sensory issues she said that she 'gets headaches from the sun sometimes too but you just have to power through'#as if that's the same thing as sensory issues from autism#(which she is apparently an expert on because she is a nurse and has worked with a few young boys with autism)#like literally she claimed she knew better than my actual doctor who diagnoses autism for a living#or my therapist who sees me twice a week (whereas i speak to my aunt MAYBE once a year)#oh also did you know that I should totally be able to hold down a full time job?#because the 18 year old autistic boy she knows whose parents do literally everything to support him and who has zero other responsibilities#and a huge support network trying to meet his needs#well HE'S able to work part time at the movie theater#so obviously that means that I should be able to work too because we're all the same#yeah anyway sorry rant over#it just really upset me#also because I was so upset I forgot I wanted to go to the park on my way home from the weed store 😔#beth posts
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Update on ability to write! My arm is still fucked, doctor and surgeon confirm it's fucked, but it's probably fixable so I'm getting surgery in the next few weeks (still have to schedule). It should be a 4-6 week recovery so won't be able to really write until the end so at least 2 more months but! Getting there!
#the first doctor was soooo funny trying to delicately explain my arm was fucked#tryinf to be like this is the sort of thing we might call severe#second doctor was just straight up like yeah your arm is bad like really bad likr not the worst it COULD be but bad#both agree on surgery so woo#lifes life
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there is really something cruel and strange and fucked up about switching between thinking youre the center of the universe and thinking youre completely invisible 50 fuckin times a day. like do you have a god complex or an inferiority complex make up your mind
#the mental illness strikes again#yeah its that and like this crippling lonliness that has had me in a chokehold#pov you open the same 3 apps over and over again on repeat all day trying to see if anyone has messaged you or interacted with you at all#then you realize oh wait yeah. they all have lives and you dont. yeah that explains it#then you self loathe and pity for a bit and repeat the cycle#mad pathetic#and on top of that youre too fuckin sensitive so you take it all personal#even stupid jokes. yeah that stupid joke it hurt my feelings and for no reason at all#im not even really sad right now its just. so painfully frustrating that this has to be the normal for me#no matter how many times i seek help for it i get blown off#not to mention im *still* fucked up over not being able to go to the one person i relied on to help me when i was mentally unwell#though ive tried#but bringing up being mentally unwell gets me a sad face emoticon at best#and bringing up being physically unwell and that ive had to go to multiple doctors over the past few months is just. completely ignored#oh well#i am completely over that person but that doesnt mean getting ignored doesnt fucking hurt#anyways
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the way tumblr talks about medicine makes me wonder how many of us here actually have critical thinking skills
#stop trying to explain shit you know nothing about so you can frame it negatively for clout!!!! literally knock it off!!!#there are so many valid opinions but i don’t understand this and therefore it’s bad “ is NOT one of them actually#fuck it’s far from perfect but seeing people talk about people I work with every day as if they’re monsters is honestly so tiring#it’s just all over my dash#if you read something and it confuses you and that makes you angry#the solution is NOT to make a tumblr post flaming it with all of your misinformation and undereducated opinions#“it is batshit to base dx criteria on statistics “ NO IT IS NOT NO IT IS NOT NO IT IS NOT ARE YOU STUPID???????#THIS IS STEM LITERALLY EVERYTHING IS MATH WHAT THE HELL DO YOU M E A N ?????#literally like!!! 90% of dx criteria involves statistical probability!!!! doctors prescribe statins because you are statistically likely#to develop heart disease or endure a major cardiac event#like they calculate your disease risk based on averages and so so so much data and math and shit THAT YOU KNOW NOTHING ABOUT!!!!#so why are you complaining about it as if you do!!!!!!!!#sorry. I know it’s in good faith for the most part but. it feels like straight entitlement to constantly complain and dog on doctors#I’m a victim of medical malpractice!!! i still show respect and understand that they’re individuals. people. human beings.#who are largely trying to help others#regardless of my personal experience with others in their field#sorry this is just a vent now#i love research I love science I love medicine please stop hating on every aspect of it and my community ty#delete later#not fandom#stinky speaks
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it’s running concurrent to my headcanon that. well. the universe is so lacking in constants for the doctor, and if it’s after he’s experienced the loss of a companion, he’s not going to go have tea with someone else he once travelled with and had to leave behind.
it just makes sense to me, that he’d go seek out the master. especially if he’s barely restraining himself from making bad choices about breaking fixed points in time and causing paradoxes. and he’s right there, playing harold saxon for the world to see, and he’s right. there. the doctor can just go and see him whenever he wants.
#im talking around this being the result of amy and rory dying alsjdkfjks but yeah. yeah that would push him to this.#the master is. its complicated. but he’s someone the doctor can rely on to be. to be the master. which is to say: awful. and familiar.#and the master is someone he can hurt. someone who it feels safe to hurt because that’s what they do.#it makes sense to me that he’d go looking for him just to be the biggest nuisance he can be.#barely upright sitting on the master’s desk. he has to choose to be drunk and oh boy is he choosing.#insulting everything he can think of from the master’s world domination plans to his terrible generic office decor.#breaks down into a giggle fit about the master being blonde (which he keeps trying to explain and failing to and that just leaves the master#annoyed and confused.)#and the thing is is like. this is Extremely concerning behavior from the guy you’ve basically chosen to revolve your life around opposing#and fucking with. i dont think the master would comfort him. especially if he knew the doctor was this broken up about human companions.#but i also dont think he would kick the doctor out.#talk with him under the excuse of gettingn foreknowledhe to change his plans and secure his victory (which he doesn’t end up doing. come on.#and attribute his victory to the doctor’s own help? however inadvertent? humiliating.)#eleven is equal parts angry and morose and clearly trying to bounce away from feeling both of those too deeply by going back to telling the#master that his dye job was shit (again. not something that makes any sense yet. but give it a year and a public restroom and the master#will be cursing him under his breath.)#weird little guys. weird bonding for them. i think the doctor should pass out in the masters office and the master puts him back in his#tardis and programs it to fly him somewhere far far away in time and space.#saying good riddance to himself. he could have made it fly into the sun or something. (or tried. doubt the tardis would let him.)#but he didnt.#anyway give it amonth or teo and im sure twelve and thirteen also have traumatic expeirence that could lead to them commandeering the#master’s office again. a man just wants to take over the world and his office is filled with drunk sad doctors. and now they’re also sad#because of future hims. really. its a mess.
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I had asked my mom to ask her sister specifically but her family in general about eds stuff (just like trying to guage if it runs in the family on that side, etc), bc my aunts kids have combinations of health problems that tend to be comorbid with eds (autism, gi stuff, etc). And my mom got back to me and said they said they were all actually struggling with some joint issues thay were getting a lot worse as well and im just 😐😐😐😐😐😐 i was just wondering if one cousin in that family was having joint problems but holy shit dude
#it is... nice i think ? that instead of new info coming in that contradicts everything and leaves me laying on the floor in despair#instead new info is making sense. thats nice for sure#i mean i dont wish eds on my favorite cousins (they are... the only branch of cousins i can stand at all#theyre lovely the rest are conservatives 🤢)#but hey maybe figuring it out will help them#eds#its really weird. my mom was listening to me talk about it and like. actually ? believes me ?#was not expecting that. from anyone but especially from her#but yeah even when shes like 'but why hasnt a doctor suggested eds before' to either me or my cousins and i have to explain#that doctors dont know shit about fuck when it comes to the majority of chronic conditions like that#and everyone ive ever talked to with eds has had to educate their doctors about it myself included#which is why my cousins have not been helped at all and seem to be floundering and trying to fix it by avoiding gluten#which tbf they are all#either sensitive or have celiacs so like yeah makes sense but its not gonna dislocate your shoulder you know#idk#my poor cousins :(
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LKJFDLSDKFJLSDK trying to explain to a doctor what my prescription issue is when i have no understanding of how prescriptions are formulated went. um. well everything was okay by the end (thumbs up emoji). and my doc definitely didn't assume i was doing something shady with my testosterone for the first 5 minutes of that call when i fumbled explaining what the issue was.
#'hi i have 10 small vials of testosterone but i would like 1 big vial of testosterone.'#<- this is what a guy who is capable of expressing himself clearly would say#what /i/ did was try to explain my issue using the 200mg/ml verbiage that i saw on my prescription#which i have now learned is different than talking about vial size. so.#whatever.#basically i just had a doctor visit that amounted to 'talk to your pharmacist about it because your prescription is correct'#head in hands
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Me: telling my coworker I have a full-on internal fungus making me sick
Him: JAY, THINK. WWJD.
Me: what would Jesus do?
Him: no, you need to accept Joel Miller into your heart we're WAY past Jesus.
Me:
#im taking the recent doctors trip very well#i did not have full on fungus in my body cause im a fun guy on my 2023 bingo card#im not touching spaghetti until this is cleared out#if you know you know#its crazy cause my doc has seen a huge uptick in people being infected#global climate change and peoples immune systems being shot from covid#are the main reasons why its popping up according to her and colleagues#this explains so much weird shit happening to me cognitively#that's not fibro related#if your brain fog is above normal you got random shakes random rashes and cravings for bizzare shit#you might have a fun guy partying up in your system#get tested#in 2004 i had a parasitic worm in me when re4 came out#and in 2023 when tlou is surging again i got a fungus trying to eat me body out#either god is trying to nerf me or my body REALLY wants to be patient zero#for some horrible video game inspired plague
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Psychiatrist appointment tomorrow...
#im not looking forward to it...#because i actually have a problem i have to inquire about. its not just a check-in#i have bipolar and ive been medicated for three years. so usually i show up and she asks if everything is good and i say yeah and thats all#but uh. lately ive been having..delusions#likely related to my bipolar. i think#its hella scary but im afraid shes just gonna say 'youre just anxious. ill up your meds'#but i know my anxiety and i know this isnt it and i need actual actual help because im fuvking terrified#im scared shes not gonna believe me#i also want to ask her for a referral to a therapist#i went to therapy as a teen. i hated the therapist and vowed to never go to any more therapists ever#but with everything in my life. its all stacking up and i dont know how to deal with it#i realize i need help. so. im gonna try to get it. i hste asking for help#i hate therapy and therapists. i hate doctors in general. but here i am.#and i have to figure out how to explain the delusions problem so that its believed and taken seriously#i hate all of this and do NOT want to do it but here i am. guess ill suffer
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God walking rn sucks. Least it sucks less than being stuck inside all day. Been going absolutely stir-crazy since I got injured.
I'm not the type that enjoys sitting still and doing nothing. Gonna be in pain either way, so why should I wallow away the days playing video games and rotting on the couch.
#jen talks#shits seriously sucked fr#like my left leg is borked from the hip down#feels like it got unplugged and then plugged back in wrong#like i know my leg is there. i know it hurts#but at the same time it feels like someone just stuffed a Barbie leg in the socket and called it good#doctors havent been much help either since its workmans comp#been trying to explain my shit and theyre just not listening#god finally talking with my pcp is gonna be a breath of fresh air. shes been pretty good about taking me seriously#but like went to the ER#doc looked at me. didnt examine me or do any sort of tests and went “yep broke your pussy get out”#and the doctor who saw me earlier last week wasnt a huge help either#described my pain and whats been going on (cause honestly its a lot)#and she basically stopped me halfway though and was like “sounds like sciatica. heres some roids enjoy”#and that def feels closer but like fuck. dont think its quite on the money#feels like internals arent quite right#knee feels like it could give out when i bend it. inside of my hip has some decent swelling near the groin#shits fucked up and i dunno when i might be good to go again#sucks. im not used to being this still
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🤦♀️
He was even on the list.
Possessed by a time-travelling ancestor.
I guess this explains a lot of the breadcrumbs.
Should I have put Alex Horne on there too?
Ugh I think I've even figured out what judge not lest ye be judged meant and it's worse than I thought.
#why don't i sit on the couch and i'll watch you next time#someone give that man a hug#“i beefed it! my point! i'm meant to be the smart one!”#a game of tag between two souls who love each other so much that they nearly broke the world trying to wake up in the same lifetime#maybe this time#because i think i might have two chances#not just two chances#so many chances#but how many people did i hurt to get here?#forgive me#i knew not what i did#this actually explains a lot of doctor who lore#...including the latest Christmas specials which i did watch#aaaaand the fic okay i think i may have accidentally started the omelas factory myself#my... bad does not cover it#my evil#let's all do better in the future okay#of course the kingdom of God will be on Earth#where else is there?#we've been here the whole time#a dream within a dream#do your good works in secret#where your father who knows all and sees all will eventually figure it out and apologise for letting you kids fight it out#now we all say we're sorry and the children will do what the adults say#it's not two souls#of course it's three#a pair is doable#three in the same lifetime is hard#i shall bear no child#and yet be mother to countless children i save from my own mistakes
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had a drs appointment was like "im having a lot of difficulty organizing and initiating tasks and its distressing me" and hes reccomending to me dumb adhd self help books im gonna scream
#hes not WRONG that these tools r helpful ive just already had loads of adhd therapy#me: my executives arent functioning and its really scary and upsetting and imparing my day to day capacity to do tasks#concussion specialist who doesnt have focus in adhd patients: well you need to form habits#i think he didnt quite get the part im upset abt is Wanting And Trying to do things. planning it. and then brain turning to smoke#not a bad doctor or inappropriate advice! he is just a specialist in something that causes similar functional difficulties as adhd#and so instead of being like “yeah its gonna suck youre on a normal timeline. try adaptive/accomodative and gradual habit formation”#he like baby explained incremental habit formation to me im like ive trained myself to do so many things w that#when i was like its distressing me and to hear this is normal timeline helps he stopped being like read some self help books#start finishing my beloathed....
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